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ursulaismymiddlename · 1 year

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Come with me on a birthday breakfast journey...

Wake up hungover with a bottomless pit for a stomach

Exacerbate said bottomlessness with a few puffs because you're 36 and your back hurts and you're on vacation

Discuss with a good friend what exactly you're going to make yourself

Settle on pancakes, eggs, and toast

Remember you have a package of Martha White's wild berry muffin mix >> you can make pancakes outta those

Decide to use a small pan because UGH dishes

Fuck up the first two, go to pour the third and accidentally tip more into the pan than you mean to

Be filled with childish excitement at the memory of accidentally doing this same thing as a teenager and winding up with a huge ass fucking pancake...

BIG. PANCAKE.

Not to worry! Big. Pancake. FLIPPER.

Oops. She burnt extra crispy.

Butter(salted) fixes everything.

Add some accoutrement, make yourself a couple cute strawberry hearts and a cup of coffee, et voila! Bon Anniversaire!

...

Sit back and realize you just ate what amounts to a whole fucking packet of muffins (6) in one sitting

Feel like the fattest fucking fatass in the goddamn world

But also

Feel like the queen raccoon on her trash throne, flopped on her back with a big ole tum to pat contentedly

#kati cooks #never did do the eggs and toast hahaha

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deviouz · 1 month

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jason todd who fucks you harder when you try to refrain from making any little sound, any lewd facial expression, any telling that he’s got you practically soaking his cock with your arousal. you might try to hold back from letting him know just how well he’s fucking you, but your eyes always tell. they get glazed over and half-lidded with blown out pupils. god, there’s nothing he adores more than seeing them widen, seeing tears well up in your waterline after a particularly well placed thrust.

he’ll cage you in between his arms and look deep into those pretty eyes with a smug smirk plastered on his face, give you no where to look but at him. he’s got your body shuddering with every thrust, hands desperately grasping anywhere but him to find reprieve, but that plan inevitably falters. arms wound around his shoulders, body bucking upwards with every punctuated thrust, jason finally manages to break you. he’s got you damn near screaming on his cock in a matter of no time, and he couldn’t be more pleased with himself.

#yeah idk #half asleep rambles #college has been kicking my ass #and my brain is cooked #but here’s something !! jason lovers come get y’all’s scraps 😪#link. you’re next.#. . . katy’s ramblings 🪐#. . . jason todd 💭#dc x reader smut #dc x reader #jason todd x reader smut #jason todd x reader #jason todd smut #red hood x reader smut #red hood x reader #red hood smut #. . . my fics 💌

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sineva · 1 year

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I AM BECOME A BLADE | WOMEN WITH DAGGERS

The Love Witch (2016) Courage, Anxiety and Despair: Watching the Battle by James Sant Alexa Demie for Wonderland Vivienne Westwood AW 2020 Olivia Cooke in House of the Dragon (2022 -) Medea by Alphonse Mucha Medea by William Wetmore Story Katie Mcgrath in Merlin s3 promo The Death of Lucretia by Joos van Cleve Judith with the Head of Holophernes by Fede Galizia Rekha in Deedar-E-Yaar (1982) Vanessa Hudgens Gaultier FW 2008 Lucretia by Rembrandt van Rijn The Field Guide to Evil: Cobbler's Lot (2018)

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heynhay · 7 months

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mid week klance because my queen @klanced is on the struggle so I made lawyer au

#klance #hope this invigorates you in these turbulent times Katie klanced #they would work at the same firm I think but like fight over cases and be rivals #I think it would be so bad at one point they’d be the reason some dude gets convicted guilty #but only for something small and funny like now he has to do. 5 hours of community service #and it’s like. voltron law. and shiro runs it #Keith is the hotshot up and coming nepo hire. but he’s good #lance has been there only barely longer but acts like he has a 10 year lead #why am I kind of cooking this up rn….. hold on…#idk how law firms work or courts. someone finish this #voltron #vld #art #my art #also midweek klance bc it’s not heynhay posting klance Friday this week it’s heynhay posting ****** Friday

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alexturner2005 · 3 months

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leatherbondagetrackie: Ultimate worrier Steve chapman and Alice cooper (New Orleans, Halloween 2014)

#*found the source and it’s katie’s private ig #but she liked one of the pics a fan ig shared so i think she’s fine with it??#arctic monkeys #alex turner #jamie cook #matt helders #i can’t believe we really got a photo of alex with the wig ten years later #it’s not what i expected lolll #m

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imstuckin1999 · 16 days

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21 hottest under 21 from Teen People magazine June/July 1999

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eff-stonem · 5 months

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yellowloid · 6 months

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jamie in katie's ig story 💖

#legit almost teared up at this don't ask me why it's just so cute how his kid is following him </3 #jamie cook #katie cook #arctic monkeys

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randommazkdperson · 6 days

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yay i am going to hgfgruhj AGHDJFIKABDHCU

#parappa the rapper #parappa #katy kat #lammy #ma san #pj berri #captain fussenpepper #instructor mooselini #chop chop master onion #prince fleaswallow #cheap cheap the cooking chicken #hairdresser octopus #guru ant #rammy

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drinkingbitterboy · 7 months

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JAMIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#THANK YOU KATIE #jamie cook

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bartlomiejkurela · 2 months

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Katie Cook by bartlomiej kurela

#bartlomiejkurela #model #bartlomiej kurela #fashion #chicago #beauty #photographer #mua #katie cook

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ursulaismymiddlename · 1 year

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Fried chicken thigh sorta night (w/ garlic gochujang ranch)

#kati cooks

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aus-wnt · 2 months

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mackenziearnold | Birthday week spent in 4 different countries but finished off with my favourite people all in one place. Thank you to my family and friends for making it so special and to Kirsty for making turning 30 more than I could have ever imagined 🤍

#mackenzie arnold #kirsty smith #sam kerr #caitlin foord #alanna kennedy #steph catley #katrina gorry #katie mccabe #lois joel #shannon cooke #kristie mewis #matildas #auswnt

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leveloneandup · 9 months

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Giving the Defense New Nicknames with Midge Purce, Abby Dahlkemper, and Katie Nolan

Emily Sonnett -> Pocket Rocket Kelley O’Hara -> Taz Alana Cook -> The Chef Naomi Girma -> America’s Sweetheart Sofia Huerta -> The Mailman Emily Fox -> Road Runner Julie Ertz -> Hannah Montana

Source: The 91st with Midge Purce and Katie Nolan

#midge purce #katie nolan #abby dahlkemper #emily sonnett #kelley o'hara #alana cook #naomi girma #sofia huerta #emily fox #julie ertz #uswnt #wwc 2023

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last-shadow-puppet · 1 year

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i was thinking…. abt that time when miles posted this pic on his insta…..