#know I'm gonna lose dad..'

[lonestardust]

9-1-1 : LONE STAR I 1x08 ‘Monster Inside’ : Owen and TK have a heart to heart.

#needed to bring this here because i can't stop thinking of their paralleling conversation here #and owen telling him about the hereditary illness 😭 #'I can’t marry carlos knowing that i have a death sentence hanging over my head' and 'I can't fall in love with one more thing that i #know I'm gonna lose dad..' #vs 'son we all have a death sentence handing over our heads' 'there is no guarantees.. not for anybody.. It's okay to love him even though #you might lose him' and 'you're not going to postpone anything you're just gonna move forward with your life' 😭 #Owen comforting tk when he's spiraling about lose hanging over his horizon. making him see the silver linings despite it all.. and actually #his growth this time of not having wanting to hide things from tk anymore.. telling him that he needs him as much as tk needs his dad.. #this is so huge and they both deserve it #but also its the fact that tk also grew through his love for carlos and keeps growing more in love with him #— how he feels invincible with this love because 'it's infinitely more powerful than the fear of losing it' 😭 #but those 48 hours are gonna put him and carlos through the wringer.... between the euphoric high of getting married and #the devastating low of potentially having their future together jeopardised because it might come with a time limit #thank fucK we know everything is gonna be fine other wise I'd have been spiraling so bad because THEY DESERVE A FUCKING BREAK #911 lone star #tk strand #911 ls #ronen rubinstein #rafael silva #carlos reyes #owen strand #tarlos #monster inside #1x08 #4x16 #Rob lowe

[egophiliac]

just thinking about hair and faces

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #i don't THINK this counts as face horror but just in case #face horror #for your daily dose of me losing my mind over anime characters #i don't know why the hair thing surprised me so much. i think because i thought it was funny that lilia named silver after his hair color. #like ha ha lilia is hilariously bad at names how cute and silly! #oh. oh it's kind of a Thing. #anyway i am excited to see where the heck all of this stuff with silver's various dads ends up! #we still don't actually know who killed meleanor! #we still don't know literally anything about dad draconia! (dadconia? dradconia?) #we don't know what happened to the macguffin gem with its magical dad-saving powers! #(surely this will not come back to save a certain dad at a later point. of course not.) #man i was not expecting episode 7 to be all dads all the time #i mean i'm here for it but #hey remember when the highest stakes were who was gonna win the big talent show #then robots started kidnapping people and now we've just escalated from there #episode 8 our cat is going to turn into a drippy ink kaiju and we're going to have to mecha battle him to save the world or something #each member of diasomnia pilots a limb and we gattai into a giant robot dragon and hold on i gotta submit this spec script to aniplex brb

[softesttangerines]

As someone who LOVES a good old time travel au, and after seeing amazing fanart of kid!Mihawk i have to let it out!!

I just wanna read a time travel fic where baby Mihawk wakes up and finds himself in the world of adult Mihawk and he's like wtf is going on?

And word goes around that a kid that looks exactly like Hawkeyes and carries the same cross knife as him is roaming around this island and rumors say it's the son he abandoned to fend for himself.

And so, marines and every pirates he ever wronged come after him for revenge and the little guy is just thinking why is everyone trying to get me? While doing his best with his cross dagger to rid of them.

And Shanks, good ol' shanks could have sworn that if his old rival had an 9years old, he would know about it (also he refuses to let the bitter taste in his heart take over unless his own eyes see) so he's skeptical about the whole thing and that's the only thing that gets him to leave his hideout in a reclused ghost island waiting for whatever is his big plan to take place.

News say Red Shanks is on the move after being mia for a few years and everyone got their panties in a twist, what could have raised the emperor from the dead.

He follows from island to island because apparently the young boy knows how to avoid the marines and pirates coming after him.

Till one night, on their stop at some bar on an island that wasn't really on the plan, he sees the boy. Just outside the bar in an alley, where he went to empty his guts from the booze overfilling his body, there stood bloody faced, cross dagger in one hand, a tiny version of his old rival with a bounty hunter's body at his feet.

The boy furrows his eyebrows even more at the new arrival and strikes another pose in case the new guy tries something funny. But Shanks, drunk ass Shanks, who knows his rival by heart is a 100% sure the little guy is in fact his rival for whatever magical reason, there he stands in front of him in the form of an 9years old and Shanks giggles at that -to which the child takes great offense- and just say "hey kid, i'm a friend of your dad's, want me to take you to him?"

#mishanks #Ok so here I'm running with the fandom's theory that rayleigh is mihawk's dad #And after getting all these murder attempts on his person he's just so fckn tired of anyone that approaches him So he's completely on guard #when this red haired dude comes out of nowhere n tells him he knows his dad #Which no one did before all they did was charge at him screaming HAWKEYES YOU'RE GONNA REGRET WHAT YOU DID #And here's the thing #he may be inclined to believe the red haired guy because no one knows his relation to rayleigh #so this guy must really know his dad and he's tired of running all the time he just wants his bed and parents #so cut him some slack when he follows a random one armed red haired pirate #On the other hand the crew is equally creeped out and charmed by the little fella because even young he still installs the chills in them #How can he be as equally as skilled as he is cuuuuute #They try their best not to say it to his face because he threatens to stab them at any given chance but they cant HELP IT #it's Dracule Fucking Mihawk as an 9years old!!!! Ofc he's cute #Shanks cant fucking wait to get his adult Mihawk back to tease the shit out of him about the little version of him lol #When they got him to rayleigh he fckn cried because that's his fckn son znd the last time he saw hus baby that way was more than 30years ag #Mihawk is just confused as fuck why is his dad's grey n have much more wrinklesBut it's still one familiar face so he just sticks to him #The red haired pirate keeps telling him that he should look for him when he gets home but he doesn't understand!!! #He also keeps challenging shanks on a duel once he discovers he's a swordsman and keeps on losing #And truth be told shanks is embarrassed as fuck because it took him his rival being a child for him to win over mihawk #opla #one piece #mihawk #dracule mihawk #red haired shanks #shanks

[duusu-peacock-kwami]

Do you think I could file for custody of all the human-like Sentis that have been created on the basis of "I made them so I'm technically one of their parents"?

#Gabriel Agreste will be the first to lose “his” son in the custody battles #He's not even Gabriel's son - he had no part in the Adrien-making process #EMILIE made Adrien with my Miraculous so SHE'S the only one with any actual claim to him #And she's dead #🦚 #Same with Felix and his dad #Although his mom is pretty cool so I wouldn't mind filing for joint custody instead of full custody of Felix #Kagami is a little tricky because her mom actually DID make her #But I think I can get custody because her mom willingly helped a domestic terrorist (Hawkmoth) and I'm pretty sure that means jail time #The only problem is actually getting the court to take me seriously #@ladybug @felix - do either of you know any good lawyers? #((OOC: brb gonna go write this crackfic))

[quixoticprince]

This was my secret santa gift for PegasusLauraNK on twitter  🥳 (Not sure if she’s on tumblr... if you’re on here I’ll edit the post) 

As always! SS was organized by @saintseiya-zone :D

#saint seiya #cdz #sts #pegasus seiya #Sagittarius seiya #ig #saint seiya omega #pegasus koga #Omega wasnt really for me...had to drop it- but! I always am really interested to see how older versions of characters turn out #I really like seiya and shiryu as dads lol #I'm losing my touch on coloring metal harumph #I gotta practice more.. I know I havent been drawing much recently (sorry about that btw) Im gonna try to do more

[yardsards]

on one hand it's probably for the best that there were no jokes about rainer's disability but on the other hand, rainer absolutely strikes me as a fellow member of the "uses our visible disability for lame puns and prop comedy" gang

#eliot posts #taz #the adventure zone #taz graduation #rainer michelle #seriously i use my hand for the most godawful dad jokes of all time #woodshop teacher: everyone be careful‚ don't wanna lose any fingers! me: TOO LATE #''can we go inside? it's so cold that i feel like i'm gonna lose EVEN MORE fingers'' #(when my 'normal' hand is out of commission bc carpal tunnel) ''well i'd offer a helping hand but you'll have to settle for 3/5 of one'' #it's a shame that now as an adult my peers don't ask me about what happened very much #(idk if they're no longer curious or if they ARE curious but pussyfooting around it because they don't wanna be rude) #cuz i had some VERY FUNNY responses that i loved to pull out when asked ''what happened to your hand'' #usually i'd tell them an obviously bullshit story about sticking my hand in a zoo enclosure or playing w fireworks or someth #and see if they'd call me on it #or the ole ''ACK??? WHEN DID *THAT* HAPPEN???'' *stares in shocked horror at hand* #(eventually followed by the actual truth lol) #i absolutely loved toph from avatar as a kid cuz she handled her disability with the same humour i handled mine with #i know not every disabled person feels the same tho and that's valid too!

[ttngummybear]

Seemingly every communicable illness ever is going around my community completely unchecked right now.

At work the other day, I counted 6 customers who I helped who WEREN'T sniffling, coughing, or both. Only one person covered their cough, and that person was a child. Every grown sick person I helped didn't cover at all and I had to disinfect once my counter was clear.

I am so goddamn tired of this.

#can you imagine being so fucking foolish that you think germ theory is fake #my mom has the flu. she caught it from my cousin because they live in the same house #my dad has decided it's from an old man she encountered at work who kissed her on the forehead (I know. wtf) #and not from living in a house with a sick person who takes no precautions and also not taking any precautions herself #he's completely tossed out all his knowledge on how sickness works and spreads #it makes me crazy #if one more crusty ass person coughs at me I'm gonna fucking lose it #you are grown and can properly cover your cough

[mo-ok]

Buckle in folks i'm gonna talk about Lost Galaxy doing a shot for shot recreation of my favourite Gingaman scene and why i think PR missed the mark.

FIRST THINGS FIRST this scene goes for about 2 and a half minutes in Gingaman but is stripped back to about 50 seconds in LG. Gingaman gives this scene time to steep in its apprehension, it makes you hold your breath and WAIT. LG on the other hand is a rapid fire shot to the conclusion that leaves very little time to actually build up the emotion.

The first big cut we see is in how much time the big brothers are given to come into frame.

We LINGER on Hyuuga coming up over the hill (where as Mike gets about 0.5 of a second). He's blurry, out of focus, framed by his brother and BullRiot as he stumbles over the hill. I'd love to tell you what Mike is doing, but the way Leo is holding the Magna Sword is just not working for the shot. It obscures Mike for too long, in a moment where him appearing is meant to be the reward for everything we've just been through.

Both these guys have spent months being possessed/controlled by a vengeful alien and have only just regained control of their own bodies. Hyuuga's still getting used to walking again, every step a struggle but he's not stopping. Meanwhile Mike is walking slowly through the sand like a triumphant action hero, which is FINE, but this scene is meant to be bitter sweet. Magna Defender DIED so Mike could be here, its not meant to feel triumphant.

Gingaman then gives us a great shot of Hyuuga, empty scabbard on his back (!!!), doing his best to keep staggering toward his team (very sad that LG cut this one out tbh)

I dont have an issue with this shots recreation - in fact i think it kinda nicely shows the differences personality wise between the two characters. Hyuuga is apprehensive, he KNOWS what he's put everyone (particularly Ryouma) through. Mike is relieved - its over, he finally gets to be home. Where I DO have an issue with Mike's reaction though -

is the complete disconnect between him and Leo. Leo missed his brother every single second that he was gone, he's still processing what he's seeing, and Mike just kinda... doesnt seem all that phased. It feels more like old friends seeing each other after some time apart, rather than brothers finally being reunited. Something else PR stripped from the scene was the camera angle differences. Ryouma is looking UP at Hyuuga, still not quite believing its really him - Mike and Leo are both on the same level.

Again, Gingaman gives us time to linger, it makes us hold out breath just that little bit longer before finally breaking the tension (I had to cut out a significant portion of the build up to Ryouma's sprint/the amount of time spent on their hug). Whereas this is all Mike and Leo get - a nice moment, but overall lacking in emotional weight.

Thats the crux of the issue really - the lack of emotional weight. There is a Hyuuga shaped hole left in Gingaman. Every character has history with Hyuuga, he means something different to all of them, everyone misses him. Him coming back was a DREAM to them, something they all wanted but assumed they couldnt have. Meanwhile half the Galaxy Rangers barely know who Mike is, he means literally nothing to them outside of "guy who pulled out the Quasar Saber and then died". Like can you honestly tell me Mike coming back meant as much to Damon and Maya as Hyuuga's return meant to Hayate and Hikaru??

What sucks is this scene COULD have been just as impactful in LG, but they didnt do the groundwork or give Mike the build up he needed. I love Leo, I wanted to see him get his brother back, I wanted him to get that closure, but instead all he got was a hollow, lackluster recreation of one of my favourite scenes in the whole franchise.

#power rangers #lost galaxy #gingaman #long post #like i KNOW i shouldnt be comparing the two shows #and there is so much about lost galaxy that i absolutely love #but when they literally shot for shot recreated the moment that had me sobbing like an absolute baby #and somehow managed to make me not feel anything #i knew i had to go on a bit of a rant lmao #like even down to the camera angles and framing it just feels so flat #also i feel that if they were gonna change it up and give Magna Defender a father/son backstory #they should have also changed Mike to be Leo's dad #that way Leo and Magna Defender would have kept that 'same situation but reversed' parallel #but i guess PR wasnt quite ready for a dilf ranger after the shit show that was kid-ranger Justin #'just keep them all the same age dammit these age gaps arent working' #but like could you imagine dad Mike??? #give him more history with commander stanton - make him a father figure to Kendrix and Kai while you're at it #hell make him a BAD DAD to Leo and then show me them coming to love and respect each other more through their shared warrior fates #i'm gonna stop now before i lose my mind lmao

[transgender-catboy]

This is my girlfriend :3

#i'm gonna lose my mind #you seeing this? Jesus Christ. i #i think. #i thiiinnkkkk.... #maybe I'll spam some tags so i can go into detail about some things that i like and . think about. #yeah. that sounds like a great idea. that way anyone who's just scrolling by won't get blasted with my fuckin gay thoughts first thing #:3 and to the goobers who actually read all my crazy man tags #why? just curious. i uh. i don't know why you do. i appreciate you supporting me and my current (and let's be real. permanent) obsession #but why? anyways. different train if thought now. him. #did you know he's 6'0? that's decent height (he's a whole foot taller than me) #he's . pretty. #and handsome #and uh. um. cute and stuff. #<.< >.> is anyone looking? no? okay cool so. HELLO AGKSJXHDVBSJDHKSVSNDHK #FSJSVSJGDJDGFSVBDJGGGRRRRRRARFARFARFARFARFBARKBARKBARK #AH #gorgeous man!!!! #th the look on his face in the gif has me twirling my fuckin hair and kicking my feet #such a dad look. god. i am weak... so so weak. i have one (1) inappropriate thought to say. #...but I'm shy. BUT ALSO I KNOW MY DORK FRIENDS ARE GONNA TEASE ME ABOUT IT #AH FUCK. no WINNING. I jjust gotta say it. shit okay okay. gotta psych myself up and just say it #i. i think uh... um. (>\\\\\\<) i think maybe he likes holding hands during sex. big on the small gestures even during such intimate moments #there! that. counts . right? i dont think i have the guts to say anything else right now. #god i am such a loser for this guy ＿|￣|○ #forgive me and all my embarrassed ramblings. i am but a simple dumbass with a crush. it can't be helped #okay. i uh. i think thats all for the rambling tonight. (-\\\\\\-) #thanks and sorry if you made it this far. also holy shit. i promise im not some blushing virgin. i have experience #I'm just an idiot. thats all #okay goodniiight #ily . predictive text wanted me to say ily maggot. sorry about that. it's faggot but ya know

[temporarypenintraining]

Had a moment of intense dysphoria AND euphoria the other day because of my FUCKING CHEST ugh. Dysphoria at having tits and euphoria at the knowledge that I CAN someday get rid of them. I will be free of this accursed flesh. I've been debating for a long time whether or not I wanted top surgery (some outfits looks better with boobs, I think I look very hot with them sometimes, other sapphics like them, and sometimes I feel like I "don't deserve" the surgery because there's trans guys/enbies who have worse dysphoria who "need it more", etc etc) but the other day, looking in the mirror and wishing that I could just walk downstairs shirtless without having to worry about my chest bothering people, I almost started crying at the realization that top surgery would make me so fucking happy. Made a list of pros and cons, the pros definitely outweighed the cons. So yeah, obviously because I'm 17 and living with my transphobic parents I can't get the surgery yet, but I have finally made the decision to get it.

#this is kinda a big moment for me ngl #like it's been a long debate #It's a whole thing #And I don't wanna go on T because even though I want a more masculine body and more hair and stuff #I have an almost 4 octave vocal range and I don't wanna lose that #I would only risk sacrificing it if I knew I could get like #an INTENSE bass voice #but my dad's a tenor/baritone so that most likely won't happen #sooooo no T for me thanks #trans #transmasc #butch #butch lesbian #lesbian #top surgery #anyone know any good surgeons in canada? #not gonna say where cuz I'm a minor but it'd be good to start looking

[sensitivegoblin]

Vent

#unsafe vent #I really wish I was dead #my dad is putting so much stress onto me to 'make up' with my sister #which means I gotta apologize to her because SHE read MY personal PRIVATE journal #my family doesn't want me to kill myself and I don't know why #if I was dead no one would be around to make all of you upset #God I'm losing people left and right all I wanna do is go to sleep and never wake up #my dad said such nasty things that night when I needed him #what is the point of therapy if he's just gonna shit on it any chance he gets #I love my family but I wish that they would understand #I told my dad that I was so upset that I wanted to bang my head into the ground #and he said 'you gotta control that.' #what a fucking smart cunty bitch you are!!!!!!! yes I do!!! if only I had someone I could trust to help me!!!!!!! #if I wasn't so scared of Hell I would've been dead by now #I can't even cut cus my stupid razor sucks ass #I get why people do hard drugs now lmao #I would never but the urge to snort and swallow random shit to feel something is rising #I would drink but it gets me so sick it's not worth it #I'm in such a bad mental health spot all I can think about is how easy it would be for someone to take advantage #I dunno how to describe it but it's very dark :( #the only way I can make this all go away is if once again I take the blame #I wish I was more confident I was going yo heaven so I could just end it

[wachi-delectrico]

Started wearing sme shirts again cos they became too small for me after hrt made me gain weight :)

They make my belly stand out and my parents call me fat and tell me to diet because of that :(

#rambling #Diet cw #ed cw #<- just in case? #But I'm like bruh #I don't even know how much i weight right now cos weighing myself is Big Anxiety #But i have BONES poking out all over #And somehow my parents think I'm fat like bro?? #The other day my dad called me fat and immediately after followed by saying I'm looking really skinny like #Make that make sense #The SIBO making my stomach hella bloated while also making me lose weight due to a shift in diet #Giving me the weirdest proportions for my body type #Idk man #I don't wanna dwell on this stuff too much cos i don't want it to Become Bad #But I'm like #I wish i could exist with no corporeal element at all if everyone's gonna be so fucking stupid #Mother father i don't like my bones poking out please don't give my brain bad ideas about how that's a good thing actually #I think I'm just surrounded by people who are stupid and don't like thinking about others #Sighhh

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

this might sound bad but it is comforting to know that suicide is always an option

#this might sound even worse but i've always been a quitter so it wouldnt be a hard choice to make if i wanted to make it #ik it seems pretty bad that i've been making so many suicide-related posts lately and uh. it is! because it has been weighing heavily on my #mind how i don't know if i'll ever be comfortable being alive on my own. in particular losing my mom is going to ruin me #and i'm not a coward like my dad bc i totally will kill myself if i can't handle the grief #i'm not asking to be understood but if u knew how difficult the prospect of being alone was to someone like me you would get it #because i mean it's one thing to exist despite not consenting to it lmao bc no one asks to be alive #but it's a whole different thing to be forcibly cooped up for your entire life and not be taught anything that would be genuinely useful #because you're not gonna leave anyways 🤣 why would you ever leave? #sorry im just. mourning my life hard rn lol

[irulancorrino]

dad called me out of the blue to insist I read an article he just sent me. the article, which actually turned out to be a blog post, is about how antidepressants and such are a scam and basically a conspiracy to “stop overpopulation��, whatever that means. he then proceeded to tell me that my cheeks look rounder than usual, and upon seeing that part of my meal was potatoes (I was eating breakfast when he called), went off on a rant about how of course I’m gaining weight.

how am I supposed to function for the rest of the day when I’m fuming

#it's so funny cuz I was like oh do you not eat potatoes??? or bread?? or pasta??? #and he was like 'maybe every three months' and I told him that's not true!!! #I KNOW it's not true like are you kidding me #every time I come to their place he asks me if I brought him pringles #so I gained some weight what about it #maybe dad who is waaay more overweight than I am (I'm literally still in the 'opti #mal' bracket) #and he's been trying to lose weight for years!!! as opposed to me struggling for less than a year #maybe he shouldn't be throwing stones!!!!! #him and my 'I almost don't recognize you as my daughter' mom should literally leave my weight alone or I'm gonna kill someone I swear #like it's bad enough that they are obsessed with their own weight!!! now they're critisizing me lichrally every chance they've got #thrashing wailing rolling on the floor #personal #tw weightloss #tw fatphobia #tw fat shaming #idk what to tag this as properly sorry!! #lmk if I should tag this as sth else idk

[milo-is-rambling]

Oh okay I've now realized that my last group of friends has completely fucked my ability to form new close relationships or find myself worthy of interacting with people I perceive to be better than me (aka all people)

#just sitting here like :| #i know that feeling of like every time you lose someone in your life a part of you goes with them but I didn't realize how bad it was until #i got into a situation where I tried to make new friends and then it's just my brain wondering when they're gonna turn on me and I'll be #hated by a new group of people and I keep trying so hard to patch things up and make new friends and it's just like every time no one wants #to talk about anything that went wrong they simply want to leave without explanation or sympathy #i feel like I've been alone so long that I forgot how to be a person around other people #I'm wearing my person suit and just keep repeating 'be yourself' but I didn't fucking know who I am when I'm not completely alone drowning #out my thoughts with as much Pinterest music and stupid tv I can handle at once #like ugh I just wish I hadn't fucked everything up so bad with my last few groups of friends #i just want to feel like myself again and everytime i just barely start to feel like myself I find new friends and as I adapt to them they #leave and I'm alone again and I have to find who I really am all over again #why do I change for other people? i don't even realize I'm doing it until it's too late #ughhhhhhh #i am just exhausted #and my head hurts and I feel gross and tired and I want to cry and today is 75 days since my dad died and I've been thinking about him a lot #and I'm just so fucking exhausted and sad and emotional and I just want someone to fucking like and for me to believe them

[iicraft505]

Me: I'll let other people get rid of things even if they're things I can't imagine in a million years wanting to get rid of

Me: slams the door of my brother's room because he is getting rid of stuff I wouldn't

#some of it I'm gonna keep because it SHOULD be sentimental to him #a fair amount of the rest is hockey stuff which like. we have places for. #and shirts that i want #also he gets rid of stuff that looks fine on him because it's 'too big' #it's like he got in shape and then decided that anything that wasn't skin tight was too big #I'm jealous of him in some ways and i feel like I'm losing him as my best friend as he was when we were little and i have issues getting #rid of things and when people say or imply bad things about my mom. even if they're true idk i just. he used to me a Mama's boy #and i said that the opposite end of my mom is my dad and he said don't compare me to dad and like #okay then stop acting like him #so basically a lot of deep things that I'm too chickenshit to bring up in therapy boiled to the surface #i also worry that he's being pulled away from my mom and me by other people. #i also worry about him having trauma from the way i acted wjen i was younger. we both had anger issues on occasion through childhood #but i maintained it for much longer and i just. it breaks my heart but i don't know how to make that any better for him. if he does #and not like PTSD levels just passing trauma #i feel like he's swung too far from my mom's keeping too much #and I'm not a hoarder i have hoarding tendencies because of being overly emotional and sentimental because of autism #well probably that i suppose i don't know for sure but if i feel something i rarely feel it Just A Little #i thought i was better at controlling myself but i guess not #anyway. yeah. #iicraft505 #nobody asked #next semester I'm gonna get so in shape my brother isn't even gonna recognize me winter break #like an hour a day of activity no excuses #and I'll have room to keep my exercise bike weights and anything else easily accessible #so 😎 swol iicraft505 coming to a tumblr near you #not as much as my brother but still n #more rhan nothing at all