#so I gained some weight what about it

[irulancorrino]

dad called me out of the blue to insist I read an article he just sent me. the article, which actually turned out to be a blog post, is about how antidepressants and such are a scam and basically a conspiracy to “stop overpopulation”, whatever that means. he then proceeded to tell me that my cheeks look rounder than usual, and upon seeing that part of my meal was potatoes (I was eating breakfast when he called), went off on a rant about how of course I’m gaining weight.

how am I supposed to function for the rest of the day when I’m fuming

#it's so funny cuz I was like oh do you not eat potatoes??? or bread?? or pasta??? #and he was like 'maybe every three months' and I told him that's not true!!! #I KNOW it's not true like are you kidding me #every time I come to their place he asks me if I brought him pringles #so I gained some weight what about it #maybe dad who is waaay more overweight than I am (I'm literally still in the 'opti #mal' bracket) #and he's been trying to lose weight for years!!! as opposed to me struggling for less than a year #maybe he shouldn't be throwing stones!!!!! #him and my 'I almost don't recognize you as my daughter' mom should literally leave my weight alone or I'm gonna kill someone I swear #like it's bad enough that they are obsessed with their own weight!!! now they're critisizing me lichrally every chance they've got #thrashing wailing rolling on the floor #personal #tw weightloss #tw fatphobia #tw fat shaming #idk what to tag this as properly sorry!! #lmk if I should tag this as sth else idk

[uncanny-tranny]

Weight gain as a form of recovery, I LOVE YOUUUU ✨️💐🙇‍♂️

#mental health #recovery #weight gain as recovery #sometimes i get those videos like 'watch me recovery from [trauma/disorder/abuse]' and you see them gain weight and 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷 #i know i've talked about this but people still don't recogize that weight gain can actually... be good #and that it can be a core physical/mental aspect of recovering from whatever you are recovering from #the idea that recovering is solely like... mental and you cannot/should not change physically if it's not 'societally-acceptable' is evil #dear person reading this: if your recovery involves weight gain that is significant and matters so much and it is neutral at WORST #this can be a complex topic for some but just know... it's neutral at worst. no matter what

[radmista]

Sowing seeds of discontent and disharmony by hanging up on my parents birthday phone call the second my mom asked if I gained weight. Hope that sits badly on their minds while they think about how that's the first call I've engaged with them in 2 months and it was for the dogs birthday. Dad scrambling to text me for my mom that she didn't mean it. Like fuck I told her I've been having a rough month and day. She couldn't keep it to herself that badly. Fucks sake

#was already not in a great place mentally but i entertained the call and was actually feeling okay talking to them giving them an update #she just hits me with that. and I'm not normally sensitive about my weight even when my mom harped on me for gaining some a few years back #i genuinely normally don't care bc I'm happy with myself. but i know ive lost weight because I've been on icu and we don't have time to eat #im so fucking mad and im even more mad I'm crying about it #bc what the fuck #i was actually feeling like momentarily safe talking to them and being vulnerable about working on my next life stages #and she just ruined the call. i wanted to talk to my mom and dad more. i do miss talking to them about some things. #i was happy to get to see my family all together even if it was for the dogs birthday. and people were smiling and shit #and ik theyre gonna say i ruined it by being sensitive but jfc #it was literally the 2nd thing my mom said to me on the call after we sang happy birthday #why couldn't she just shut up. why couldn't she have said anything else. why did i let it bother me so much i hung up #I'm just fucking tired and sad and now feeling even lonlier than ever #i just wanted a nice moment with my family god fucking damn is that too hard to ask for #and im even more angry and sad now that i cant call them back bc my mom will get on me about smth else we were previously talking about #that phone call was supposed to be a neutral zone just for the birthday song. and i was going to ride it out but fucking hell #why didnt i just put up with it so i could have talked to my family #and no calling them back isnt an option. they haven't apologized and it would be an un neutral call #which gives them space to harass me about work and shit

[beelzzzebub]

hello i just wrote a poem and for some reason it feels important

#important to me #idk #it's about things that i've been afraid of #i just have the first stanza so far #on my fear in grade school that i would get pregnant from having feelings for people #legitimately #it was a very deep shame that i felt on the daily and felt so strongly that i needed to hide #i would stand in front of the mirror and check my stomach #scared that any weight i was gaining would mean that i was pregnant #it did not btw #and you know sometimes i think about that #how that was such a big fear and shame for me #how i genuinely. genuinely thought. that i was at risk of getting pregnant #just because i wanted to like. hold hand with some guy at math team practice #i think a lot about how i never actually received a sex education- from school or from my parents #how i grew up hearing the virtues of the virgin mary- not connecting until my mid-teens what virgin really meant #i think about what i had to learn from the internet of all places #and what i still don't know #about how isolated i feel when it comes to romance and sexuality #because i never had an outlet to understand or express potential interests or desires #anyway putting some of that into text just feels like a moment for me i guess #boink #poetry

[heavenlydreamangelflyhigh]

moms getting competitive w her eating disorder again

#she keeps mimicking how ive been living and now that ive been sliding back and restricting again due to stress #she's been body checking around me more talking about how much she works out how 'toned' she looks #and dishing up smaller portions than me only eating half and then saying 'oh i'm so full...marie #if you can't finish yours just throw the rest out...' #she had her friend over yesterday and the poor woman made the mistake of confiding in my mother and i about her ed #and i gave her some advice for recovery & let her know that anorexia is hard to tackle esp when you're taking care of someone else at the #same time but its doable..and she was asking about what i do when i relapse #and obv i didnt go into detail so as not to like. give any ideas. but it was nice to have someone Nice to relate to on that front #immediately my mom jumps in with 'oh i restrict too! thats what i do! i go days without eating and count my calories. #marie doesnt work out like i do because their therapist said not to..but i work out so i can stay toned and confident.' like no you dont #it hurts me that shes doing this shit to herself but i know shes doing it in front of me to feel superior because she Always Has #its CYCLICAL with her. as soon as my gf left the mask came back off and she was right back to the mama i know #using MY CLOTHES to body check using MY MIRROR infront of me i feel insane. #like i told her i feel disgusting because i gained two pounds and im at 114 now and she immediately started talking about her weight and #that we need to stop buying 'junk food' #MOMM....OH MY GOOOD... #whatever whatever . i'll get over it in a few mins im just pissy in general and i feel like i live with a 15 yr old sometimes. #ed ment #i will say it uswd to be worse when she wasnt in therapy n shit but hhghhthtnf even my dad who is Never Home has picked up pn it and has #started checking her and telling her to keep it between yhem bc i dont. i canr handle that rn dude

[patchcat-likeswolves]

Self Soothe

#my art #art #I dunno what else to put here #vent art? probably?? #Also Patch is gonna have some chub from now on because I've gained some weight and he reps me so I figured I'd finally add that #Been holding it off for a while now #Body issues am I right #That's about it #yeah

[sensazioneultra]

fatphobia is always tiring like always always but when it comes from your own family it's like. extra exhausting. it hurts soo bad. you can't ever escape it

#like that one coworker who pokes fun at your relationship with food and it's obviously rooted in fatphobia? you'll just go home and he won't #be there it'll hurt for a bit but you'll live #but like beside super dangerous fatphobia (talking life or death shit like medical fatphobia) the one that does the most damage to me #is that coming from my own family.. it's just. you already put 43 conditions before the 'i love you' (that you don't ever say but anyway) #and then when i gained lots of weight that was... another one to add to the list #but maybe i'm not used to it yet idk it's been quite a few years atp but idk? #it just hasn't gotten easier to hear them call me ugly and fat (in a derogatory way) and make mean comments and shame me every other day #like! it hurts so bad! why do you think it's funny!!!!!!! #this doesn't include my mum bc (sadly) she understands what it's like to be shamed for being fat she wouldn't do it to me #not like in a purposefully mean way at least #tho she does do some insidious shit like always going 'there's this new EASY diet that TOTALLY works' or saying x health problem is probably #due to my weight etc #which like isn't good? doesn't help? still hurts me? but it's different bc i know it's not rooted in hating fat people/me being fat #it's more like her own shit she went thru that she doesn't want me to go thru too and like yeah it's fucked up but i get it more than #just outright saying i am disgusting for being fat lol #like mh both suck but at least you're not joking about the fact even if i didn't eat i would be fine cause i'm so fat haha #yeah. just. a lot. #there's no escaping it i think the only way would be to move the fuck out and that would also help with uh. the misgendering thinly veiled #homotransphobia abuse constantly having to put up w their fighting and sometimes fighting w them myself #and the ableism and and and and #basically this is lowkey hell like i've learned to live with it more or less but jesus it is extremely exhausting #i just want out i've wanted out for years but every day i get closer to losing it #there might be something potentially coming up but i have to wait til the end of the month to see if anything comes of it #we'll see.. i rly hope i can rent this place idc if it's small idc if it'll suck most of my paycheck and i'll have to ask for my mum's help #i just need to at least try and get away cause like. i get to august every year and my father is absolutely impossible to deal with #and i know my mum feels the same and i hate leaving her ajnd my brother too but like #at some point i have to think about myself cause god what use am i even to them when i'm a ghost of myself in this house #it's just shit for everyone plus if i really get to rent that place it's literally IN FRONT of my family's apartment i could still help out #but at least i wouldn't LIVE with them i wouldn't feel so fucking trapped #whatever. bad bad bad day physical pain wise too

[fragmentedblade]

Not to be a jingfu on main, but it's so cute that Jing Yuan thought of Fu Xuan with those jelly beans

#me: the Xianzhou characters are all just coworkers #also me whenever anyone is shown to be fond and have intimate knowledge of some other character: awwww #Like Fu Xuan and Jing Yuan playing starchess and teasing each other or making a reference to things they like #or Jing Yuan talking about young Yukong #Quingque apparently disliking Fu Xuan but obviously that not being the case‚ knowing what she likes and how she thinks #Fu Xuan hiding that she has a sweet tooth but Jing Yuan and Quingque knowing it and teasing her for it #I don't know. There are a lot of instances of these small intimate details in the middle of what looks like a coworker relationship #Good coworkers‚ but coworkers nonetheless #And ironically it moves me so much? Even more so than Belobog. I've been told several times that Belobog seemed more tight. And I agree #In Belobog people were friends or family or companions but linked by something closer than mere coworkers with Wildfire #Even Sampo in the Underworld was strangely 'theirs'. He had the magenta colour of Wildfire and he was trusted to some extent #The Luofu characters don't have that. And yet the fragments of intimacy scattered through their interactions move me a lot #These are people who have known each other for centuries. Jing Yuan knows of Yukong's youth‚ its joy and grief #He knows Fu Xuan has a sweet tooth and teases her about her height. Quingque does too #Fu Xuan chastises both of them for being lazy but she knows they're smart and good at their job. She plays starchess with Jing Yuan #Quingque mocks Fu Xuan for being a workaholic but is very aware of the weight she carries both in her position and ideas about destiny #I won't mention Yanqing and Bailu because there is obviously more than a coworker bound when it comes to them #But yes I love the moments of intimate knowledge scattered through the Xianzhou‚ so telling of the fact that these people have known #each other for longer than several human lifetimes‚ and that perhaps they don't necessarily regard each other as more than their coworker #But perhaps that's enough in order for them to care. Perhaps in a lifetime over one thousand years the intimacy gained with a coworker #through several centuries is something beyond what we could understand in our decades lifespan #But also‚ perhaps‚ I don't know. Also‚ perhaps‚ the do care beyond coworkers in that strange line between work and friendship #Perhaps it's strange for Xianzhou natives to tell apart that kind of relationship after so much intimacy and knowledge through the years #And perhaps‚ once again‚ as it often happens for them‚ they think they'll always have enough time to tell; until they run out of it #They play chess together. Quingque can lose time because Fu Xuan can't stay mad if she brings her sweets. Are they just coworkers? #We play chess. I know what tea and sweets you like best. I brought them today since you would indulge me and play starchess with me #Thanks for playing with me‚ I'm running out of book puzzles. You keep divining my moves but I'll invent a fake story to distract you #Are we coworkers or something more like friends? Where is the line after so many years? #I talk too much but I love this charged nothingness haha I find it ironically so true to how many relationships in real life develop #And I find it so moving‚ that representation of this endearing smallness of everyday life. Of these small things is life made

[dreamlogic]

...

#shit chat #disordered eating cw #how to. politely ask my housemate to stop fucking telling me about her diet progress #she's trying to lose weight cause she's a musician & her band is traveling to this big thing at the end of the month #by doing really strict by-weight portion control and it does NOT seem healthy #she's trying to get back to her 'italy weight' and like. girl. u went to italy in high school 10 years ago & biked everywhere for a month #if you are at that same weight a decade later without exercise by simply making yourself eat less food there is a problem! #that is not aspirational that's horrifying!!! no u don't look hot in your gig outfit from 2013 you look disproportionately skinny! #so i gotta sit her down at some point and be like listen. ur an adult ur gonna do what you do #& i know ur industry puts insane pressure on women to look a certain way on stage. #but as someone with a history of disordered eating i will not cheer you on and support your 'progress' #and quite honestly it makes me uncomfortable to even talk about it and see your stupid little diet scale on the kitchen counter every day!! #i strongly associate weight loss with poor health for a number of reasons #and firmly believe that weight gain is cool and sexy and that everyone should be less afraid of being actually!!! #it was a struggle w/ dysmorphia for a while but putting on some chub is one of the best things i've been able to do for my body as an adult #i love my squishy tummy and hearing you obsess about having a perfectly flat (ie concave) abdomen daily is deeply saddening!!! #bleh. it's hard. i feel like i should gently intervene but also i do not want to get involved bc it's more than i can handle rn #*less afraid of being fat actually

[layalu]

Screw it, posting some Jamies too, bc i can (picrew)

Step 1 to 4 respectively :>

#the designs arent like. set in stone but i just went w het general style/vibe for those points in time #kid jamie is very much the 'dressed by mama' look lolol but she has a thing or two to say about it being colorful & practical #tweens/early teens she wore way more dark & baggy clothes bc gaining weight + puberty hitting hard did a number on her body image </3 #late teens kinda got that 'im an adult now so i should probably dress more adult-y' but also just wearing whats comfy #and early/mid 20s she is much more comfortable & confident <3 (also i kinda imagined 'holidays at home at the beach' vibes lol) #oc: jamie #my ocs #picrew #ol:ba #btw step 2 stormy snagged some of thar hair dye from her ma (with permission) xd

[littlegildedswallow]

you losers will see a thin woman existing and rush to let her know how sick and disgusting and starved she looks. I'm becoming so disillusioned with the body positivity movement.

can't even talk about how nutrition and being careful about what you put in your body are important without some performative insecure idiot having a meltdown about diet culture.

everyone's willing to make video essays and write theses on counting calories being "inherently unhealthy", "almond moms" and people who very obviously have an unhealthy, deficient diet. these same people will then turn around and pretend that stuffing your face with empty calories with no nutritional value, greasy, fried shit and ungodly amounts of sugar five times a day everyday is "self care" and "knowing what's right for my body and giving it what it needs 🥺🥰💖".

#fucking hell #realizing the groups of people i despise all do the thing where they talk around in circles rationalizing things that go against basic #common sense #haes people #tras #libfems #so fucking gross #saw someone who claimed to be a radfem rant about how being fat is a feminist action because of diet culture beauty standards yada yada #like girl wtf are you talking about stop embarrassing us #bring back teaching kids about nutrition and the importance of balanced meals and protein and fiber and indulgent junk too but in moderation #saw someone talk about how dieting is toxic because you have to starve yourself to lose weight #like no dumbfuck you just have to be in a calorie deficit #I'm recovering rn but that doesn't mean i want to swing in the opposite direction and gain 100 kilos #been eating balanced meals with lots of sexy spicy chicken and fruits and veggies and muffins #i feel so good #I'm losing body fat but gaining muscle #and i want to keep doing that until i hit around 43 kgs because that's my good zone #the fact that we can't even talk about this stuff without some big-backed defensive haes person yelling about beauty culture is insane #what's funny about these people is their complete lack of integrity #how are you gonna claim you're subverting beauty standards by being fat then wear three different types of shapewear and contour your face #and chin and do everything in your power to give the illusion of having an hourglass figure ? #mine

[a-chilleus]

email from my gp today saying btw these test results from october suggest you could have pcos. no need to do anything good luck do you have any questions

um

what the fuck, what do i do, how the fuck do i handle this

#i have some of the symptoms but they're stuff like acne and weight gain and whatever #i literally had an ultrasound last week and the results for that were normal #but apparently my hormones are weird? and i have super irregular periods #and my gp was like well you could go on contraceptives if you're worried about the irregular periods #thanks but no? i don't need to make my periods more regular #i'm actually fine with not having as many periods they suck #so long as i have enough to not get cancer but that's just 3+ in a year and you're fine #like i'm not worried about acne and irregular periods and being a bit hairy #i'm worried about am i gonna get type 2 diabetes and does this mean i'm never going to be able to lose weight and what the fuck do i do #with this random new information!!! #she didn't even suggest any further tests to actually confirm it #so like #i may or may not have pcos #fucking hell #esme.txt #health anxiety tw #weight mention tw #uhhh #menstruation tw #oh yeah all the info is like “women with pcos experience this” so funnnn dysphoria times

[widevibratobitch]

.

#vent post vent post lalalala #i wanted to post some pictures from my weekend trip with my friends before its too late but then i saw my fucking face and now i wanna kms #like oh my god. oh my god this is really truly the face im stuck with forever and ever and ever till the day im fuckin rotting in the groun #incredible how unfair life can be lmao (<- girl who is having such incredibly superficial stupid fucking problems but is otherwise #quite privileged but of course that will never be fucking enough for her because she's soooooo fckn stupid and selfish and annoyinggg lol) #i dont know why im so obsessed with it now #like i genuinely remember KNOWING that im kinda ugly (and fat) in high school and being like 'so what lol idc' #so WHY is it such an issue now????? #idk. i just kinda wish i was dead every time i look at my face and realise there's nothing i can do to change it #i can dress in ways that will cover my ugly ass shapeless body. maybe i can even go back to my ed properly this time #and lose some weight. for a time. before i gain back twice as much and the circle begins anew lol #but my face is not gonna change no matter what i do lmao unless i fucking scrape it off with a grater or smash my head into pieces #and like. even if i do get that rhinoplasty (its not gonna change my faceshape anyway. nothing i can do to fix THAT fuckin atrocity) #every time ill look in the mirror i will only be reminded that its fake. and that my natural face was disgusting enough it had to be cut up #to be fixed somewhat. #i just wish i had ONE. just ONE nice thing about my body. literally just one its not even funny lol #and its so fucked up when you look at my mom who was so insanely fucking beautiful when she was my age. like. i cant blame her #cause how could she have known that the genes she'll pass on will not result in anything good lol but also i feel like such a failure #like its not really my fault i got the genes i got. but yknow. #anyway im tired of always being the ugliest person in any group im hanging out with. my cousins? check. my hometown friends? check. #my uni friends? my GOD check (how ARE they all so pretty and skinny??? insane). #god i wish i were dead. like fr fr. im not actively suicidal since i cant bring myself to *do* shit anyway. but i just wish i never existed

[desperatepleasures]

me coming up with this mpreg fic idea being like okay this is not gonna be a weight gain fic. yes he'll get a lil thicc during the pregnancy but we're gonna keep that to ourselves cause it is not relevant to the story!! <- lies

#this is now the 2nd time in this series ALONE i have gone 'ok I'll think about conrart gaining a lil weight while pregnant. as a treat' and #then the thoughts turned into something that's actually like relevant to the storyline/his emotional arc #and then it's like okay well. in order to keep this in i do have to address the wg in the fic now lmao #so okay fine. this fic will warrant the Weight Gain tag on ao3 if i ever post it. i suppose that'll get me more readers LMAO #readers who will then be disappointed at the rest of the fic being like. not even remotely what they're looking for lolol #...and then doubly disappointed when he loses (some of) the baby weight (i am letting him keep a little bit bc I'm so generous) #ahhh well it's all hypothetical cause this fic is so far from postable #idek how the first chapter ends lmao #fic tag

[txmxkis]

ugh.

#i really try to be a compassionate person but. i am tested constantly #like yes. i understand that u are not confident in the way u look. truly i am the same way #but do u have to rage about how pissed you are that youve probably gained a few pounds #and scream about how u cant believe youre so fat. while i'm sitting here right in front of u. in fact do u have to do it in front of anyone #and do u have to take it even further and cry about how being 'fat' makes u 'ugly' #like i get it okay. ive had a really hard time with my body for. Ever #but your body is just doing its best to keep u safe. stop treating it like you failed somehow cause u gained some weight #and definitely dont say that u wouldve been better off if u just hadnt eaten at all. what the fuck #STOP HATING FAT PEOPLE INCLUDING YOURSELF. or at the very least dont dump it all on me cause im sorry. but im done #sorry for the rant but jesus christ. #[☂] — bunny babbles #tw fatphobia

[salsflore]

did i just. get insulted by my irls

#3 of us were on a video call right‚ and i was showing them the cheongsam i wanted to wear for a future school event #and then they idk made some comment about me gaining weight and then it just made me feel so not good ... #i hate those kind of comments lol it’s not even a bad thing to gain weight but my mother comments on it and so do my irls its very. ugh #don’t tease me abt it it’s so annoying. i’ve gotten a tad bit insecure over my physical appearance because of the comments ppl made abt me #????? sorry for having a stomach like every normal person ever you silly bitch #my hair my cheeks EVEN THE BEAUTY MARK ON MY FACE GOODBYE WHAT IS YOUR PROBWLGME #i hate it when my irls comment on shit like that. you’re ill #and if anything ive lost weight because hey. i’m growing up. that was baby fat you whore. does it matter anyways!!