#like ok. it’s MY OWN CHOICE that I would fuck a lesbian im ok with that. that’s just me! the ftm reading this is not involved.

[sunsoak]

Everyone’s all “nonbinary is included in every sexuality” until a nonbinary person who is on hormones prefers men who like men and women who like women and all of a sudden I’m being problematic and offensive to…….. well everyone I guess

#WhoGive A Rats Ass #like genuinely why the fuck does anyone care omg why is this a big deal #I’m not being offensive to other transmascs by fucking lesbians like i never said you all need to or you all should or you all want to #it’s MY LIFE….. how is my very personal sex and love life affecting every transmasc in the world ITS NOT…. #it’s your problem for seeing me as a binary trans guy when I’m not I just am on t and use he/him pronouns. like whatever bro omg #like ok. it’s MY OWN CHOICE that I would fuck a lesbian im ok with that. that’s just me! the ftm reading this is not involved. #im not going around fucking parading that transmascs should fuck lesbians this is literally just my personal life and choices #and if lesbians want me and gay guys want me (which they both do) THATS FUN FOR ME AND I LIKE IT BECAUSE IM NOT A BINARY TRANS PERSON…. #anyways yeah so I’m bisexual but not in the traditional sense. just let me live I’m so sick of reading posts bashing people like me #sorry that I have the lived experience of being a dyke and I’m into dykes who are into dykes. #sorry that I’m also kind of attracted to men but only men who will acknowledge and respect and be attracted to my masculinity. #everyone wants to support gender fluidity and sexuality fluidity until someone is actually being fluid lmfao like honestly!!!

[walmart-miku]

Ok finished The Boy and The Heron. And I have Thoughts.

THE THEMES!!!! THE SYMBOLISM!!!! THE INEVITABLE MARCH OF TIME BUT WE STILL GO ON. THE "IMPERFECT WORLD TAINTED WITH MALICE" "WORLD FULL OF CHAOS AND FIRE" "PURE VS IMPURE" AHHHHHHHHH

ITS ABOUT GRIEF!!! ITS ABOUT HIW MAHITO LEARNS TO NAVIGATE A WORLD WITHOUT HIS MOTHER AND HIM ACCEPTING NATSUKO AS HIS MOTHER AND THE WAY ITS DONE IS SO GRACEFUL. He starts completely impartial to her. Besides the fact that Natsuko looks like his mother, Mahito is polite but cold to her. And then Natsuko gets "taken". And Mahito decides to go save her, not for himself but for his FATHER!!! (On a side note here, I love how good of a father Mahito has. He's really trying his best here, he dropped everything to look for them and was 110% ready to fight God.) And once Mahito finally gets to her its this beautiful scene of him calling out to her for her to come home with him and hee refusing and Mahito going from calling out "NATSUKO" to "MOTHER"!!!! HE CAN'T AFFORD TO LOSE ANOTHER MOTHER AND HE MIGHT HAVE FAILED THE FIRST TIME BUT HE WON'T THIS TIME AND AHHHHH!!!!

My brain will not shut up about the one scene where the heron tells Mahito that he can't fix the hole that Mahito made in his beak that's preventing him from transforming. It has to be the one who did the damage that fixes it. It has to be Mahito who fixes it. Do you see where I'm going here. How, as hard as you try, damage has been done and sometimes the damage has to be repaired by the cause.

THE REAL WORLD ATTACHMENT THAT HAYAO MIYAZAKI HAS TO THIS FILM. HE IS THE GREAT GRAND UNCLE. He created this beautiful empire of movies and has left a legacy and the movie ends with the empire/world falling l, with the potential successor turning away from the world and choosing his own path. THE MOVIE IS A LOVE LETTER TO HIS SON AND HOLY SHIT IM NOT GOING TO BE NORMAL ABOUT THIS FACT.

Little guys. A ghibli movie is not a ghibli movie until it has silly little guys. For this one we got the water water. LOOK AT THEM!!!! I WOULD DIE FOR THEM. I cried when they got eaten and then I cried some more when the old pelican died talking to Mahito. Because they didn't ask for this life where they eat the water water. But they have no choice. And their young don't know how to fly anymore.

Kiriko. Holy fucking shit Kiriko. She's managed to fulfill both the grandma and cool lesbian aunt roles in The Boy and The Heron and holy shit. First time I saw her butch form I. Also the little wood carvings to protect. How they're people from Mahitos world. How Mahito has so many people that care about him. (Look at her she's so)

Himi (Mahito's mother) ISNT AFRAID OF FIRE (how she dies) BECAUSE WHY BE AFRAID OF DEATH? WHY FEAR THE UNKNOWN AND THE END? WHY FEAR THE VERY THING THAT YOU CONTROLLED?

Mahito is super duper fucking unhinged (affectionate). The hospital is on fire, he runs against the crowd to get to his mother. The kids at his new school make fun of him. Next scene has no audio but some cheerful music and is of just Mahito fucking throwing hands. And then Mahito is still angry and full of malice afterwards that he just. Takes a rock and bangs it against his head. Mahito meets the grey heron and he decides that he's gonna kill it. He makes his won bow and arrow. He uses the herons own feather for the arrow. He also reflects his name perfectly. "Mahito" meaning "sincere one". He just says whatever the fuck he's thinking. He does not pull punches.

The book. "How Do You Live?" I Will Be Thinking About This Book So Much. (She left him a book, she left him a book about how to live because she knew that she wouldn't be there to watch him learn how to live but she still wanted to teach him how to live even if it was just beyond the grave through a book)

#this was a religious experience actually #i renounce atheism #my religion is now studio ghibli #anyways thats all i got for now #also kiriko now lives in my head rent free #i saw her and my jaw dropped #spent the rest of the movie thinking about her in the back of my mind #the boy and the heron

[aroanthy]

Besides Anthy what other characters do you are aro- or any kind of a-spec?

All Of Them.

on a more serious note, im very partial to the following aspec readings of characters:

aroace/aroace lesbian nanami; one thing to know about me is that i realised i was aromantic because of two things. the first is that i wrote a 55k word fanfiction about two side characters from the 2005 bbc political satire 'the thick of it' that was basically just me airing my fundamental discomfort with romantic relationships, and the second is watching her tragedy and the romance of the dancing girls for the first time. Yeag.

aromantic nanami is profoundly important to me and i really just resonate with her character on a personal level. like shes so me. i dont get it. i too have convinced myself of all kinds of taboo and 'weird' affections and feelings because i Dont Understand Romance (just as a side note: i understand why some people take the cold turkey 'nanami never considered romantic feelings for her brother!!' reading, but for me personally. i think it's important to consider nanami considering those feelings, specifically because they make her feel uncomfortable, alienated, etc. there's also lots of interesting things to be said about how incest can affirm heteronormativity (and how it can't!! but that's more of a kaoru twins can of worms)).

and there's other stuff but we needn't get into that. i love when other people feel able to talk in-depth about how their personal expereinces shape their responses to rgu, but im not quite at that point with certain things. i do also just really like reading nanami as an aroace lesbian bc i find her connection with utena specifically to be soooooo. gah. delicious. fascinating. devastating. and also i love aroace lesbains they are the best

asexual utena; i just think he's neat :} sometimes i feel hesitant to read characters as asexual if theyre teenagers or if they have sexual trauma and funnily (not) enough, utena is both! having said that, i recently decided 'fuck it' and have been thinking about this interpretation of his character more and more. like, my aromantic identity is partially political, partially trauma-informed, and i feel quite strongly about queerness in part being one's choice to define (or not define) themselves on their own terms, be they 'contradictory' or 'inaccurate' or whatever the hell else.

i also have a fondness for asexual masculine characters. me personally i read utena as butch and transmasc and i think it's really interesting to think about how that queer masculinity can be expressed outside of allosexuality, especially considering what rgu as a show tries to do wrt that matter. dont ask me about my feelings on ikuhara and false dichotomies of love and lust in his works or i WILL explode ok sarazanami is The aroallo show and im soooo normal about it all tbh

i have this kind of vague arospec touga reading that im always knocking about in my head but kind of scared to talk about online because like. it's quite a lot to get into and, as an aroallo person, i dont want to get into discourse about if it's problematic to read a character like touga in that way. bc like. i dont think it is. but that's because i'm basing this reading off of my own lived experience and understanding of what aromantic allosexuality can look like. to be honest, if i really had to stick labels on them (bc labels are a shorthand to me that never fully express the complexity of identity that i want to personally (writer disease)) i read anthy as an aromantic lesbian and touga as aromantic and gay. but normally you would have to waterboard that out of me because im terrified of how people who aren't aroallo respond to aroallo conceptions of like... Anything. lol.

i think the tldr of Why im compelled by those similar readings of their characters is. something about how terrifying and constraining and rigid and incomprehensible and inaccessible romance feels to me as a concept. and something else about how important sex is to me as a concept, and kind of. this radical sex positivity that is so essential, imho, to beginning to unpack the issues baked into our hetero- and amatonormative conceptions of romance and sex, and thus reclaim human connection as we please. blah blah blah wah wah wah body as a bargaining chip or whatever (guy who is mildly terrified of talking about these things for Reasons).

that's it for specific readings i have of specific characters, but i will say that i do find it hard to put myself in the shoes of certain characters if im thinking of them as alloromantic. like i think juri probably is but i dont not understand her conflict with shiori and why it agonises her so much. but tbf, most of my focus on juri as a character is her struggle for self-acceptance and her fascinating gender troubles. funnily enough, that's also kind of how i feel about saionji. they are just both so genderfuck self-hating gay plagued by the power dynamics and i love that for them.

anway yeag :} rejoice, aromanticism be upon ye

#anyway thats enough being perceived for the day #normally when writing character analysis i try to limit my 'if i was this guy' response bc it can often be unhelpful #but in this context i think it's warranted. and i'd rather be transparent about that #like these are just MY interpretations that are entirely and heavily formed by my life experiences and understanding of my identity #and you know i do want to write something longform about aromanticism in rgu and ikuhara's works generally #but in doing that i would have to ground it in the personal. that's what it is and not doing so would present a very different argument #ie one that's kind of like 'and this is the truth and the whole truth and everyone else is wrong' #when my aspec readings are all like. 'here's where im coming from and here's how this was resonant for me' #'and hopefully that might help you understand me and others like me better :)' #ANYWAY ENOUGH VULNERABILITY #dais.txt #dais talks aspec

[queercutlureis]

Queer culture is having to argue with a doctor for nearly an hour to get my ovaries and tubes removed. He kept saying that "what if your future husband wants kids"

Ok first of all Im a lesbian, like obviously so. I pretty much fit the butch lesbian stereotype to a T in terms of appearance Im pretty sure this doctor is just stupid or homophobic if he thinks that Im even remotely straight (not to mention that I was wearing a pride flag shirt and I mentioned my girlfriend multiple times)

Second even if that were the case and some hypothetical husband of mine wanted to have children with me, you know what I would do? I would dump him and find someone else! Kids are a deal breaker for me and no one will change my mind.

Also why does the opinion of some hypothetical man that I would never date matter more than my own choice on what to do with my own body? Its fucking stupid

Sorry for the ven I just had to get this off my mind.

#queercultureis #queer culture is #queer #vent #queerphobia #homophobia #oh fuck that doctor #that's absolute bullshit #i hope i'm understanding you right that you did manage to get him to agree to the procedure? #but still #fucking nonsense

[vampacidic]

i know i said i wasnt particularly interested in the quarry however i would be interested in your enstars quarry au so please feel free to elaborate on that if you want to ^u^

oh you've opened floodgates. ok. uh. im giving you a highlight speedrun

izumi gets snot on by a boar. not relevant to the plot but it's an event that happens that makes me giggle

arashi has her tits out for most of the timeline. good for her

leo has a gun. i mean most characters do so it's not like he's particularly special but he does have one. and i really don't think he should

shu and mika are there. might make it platonic or romantic idfk. but i do get to make mika say "lesbians?" which is fun

the characters present are knights, valkyrie, crazyB, adam, and Another one i haven't decided on yet. maybe switch. idfk. trickstar works better with how knights' dynamic works but that's also 4 more characters.... i might stick hiiro and aira in here too. this is all hypothetical

adam are (vaguely) evil. its mostly ibara + up to how you interpret the original text tbh

nagisa is here but he's significantly less important. she's more of a narrative device

fan favorite 'you smell good' abi/nick scene is now leo and izumi. take this as you will

leo having a gun. i must reiterate leo has a weapon

ritsu's the one who breaks the car. reasoning is close to 'i would literally rather die than see my brother again' and 'i can fix my relationship with mao (which has taken a down turn because i have no emotional permanence)'

truth or dare features arashi and leo making out. a win for t4t nation

(un)fortunately for t4t nation, arashi and leo are also the ones in the storm bunker (there is a better word for this). leading to fan favorite 'shows over, [naru], go home' 'FUCK YOU' depending on narrative choices

tsukasa is also here and gets covered in blood. she's so quirky. also she gets caught in a bear trap (she's fine)

thinking i might make it a choose your own adventure. so like the actual game except like. if you choose A, go to chapter 7 or whatever. ao3 doesn't really support that though lol. so i might make a sideblog and a bunch of posts... which could be fun

this is most of what i have so far... im very slowly playing through the game to refine details. you can tell i stopped bc school got busy right when the horrors started lol

#ask #aurelia 🌺 #the quarry x enstars #robin don't look

[sissyjamieray]

My journey into feminization how did it begin? It is difficult to pin point a specific age, but I would guess I was about 11 years old. Yes, confused by sexual urges and excitement when looking at pictures of pretty girls in magazine ads wearing only panties and bras. Mmm, then 'borrowing' intimate female garments and wearing them. Feelng the overwhelming rush of pleasure and my first orgasm while wearing female clothing. Through the years I've tried to suppress this urges to dress as a woman. Being married was so frustrating as my wife left her intimate garments all over the house. It was like being in a candy store: bras, panties, lingerie all within reach. Unable to resist I would carefully try on bra or nightie when she was out shopping. At one point she mentioned something about one nightie being worn out in the "wrong" places. But she never questioned me. After all why would her man be turned on by wearing panties? Looking back she was very smart, she knew better than to confront me head on, lol. She knew I would not admit it or make up some bullshit story. She was very subtle, one night after making love she asked me if I had any sexual fantasies, my response was no love, none that I can think of. Another time she make the following comment, " I wish I had something to poke you with". Wow, she was so close. I was a bit stunted, didn't have a good response, lol. Several months later during our forplay love making she starts licking my nipples, omg, wtf!! Do you like it she says, with her hand on my growing manhood there was no escape, no denial. You like it don't you? I said yes, grasping for air and moaning as she began to rub the tip of my cock with her finger while continuing to lick and suck on my nipples. Then she slid her hand below my balls and started stroking and messaging the area just above my ass hole. After five minutes or this action she get up, pulls off her soaked panties then leans towards me with panties in hand and whispers in my ear, ' guess what I found in your bag Jim?' I found at least 10 pairs of my panties Jim, wtf all stained with your cum! "So you like to jerk off and cum in my panties, really?" What could I say but yes. I tried to explain why but she was upset? She then took her wet panties wrapped them around my almost limp manhood and said show me how you like you jerk off im my panties! I was so embarrassed, but I was wrong to have taken her things, this was my punishment, Yes? I reached down and started stroking my cock but it was very limp by now, I could not get hard. She saw my problem and whispers in my ear, "what's the problem, sissy panty boy, can't jerk off in front of your hot sexy wife? never touch my things again!, if you do, you will never fuck or cum inside me again. Do you understand me? Yes, hon I understand, good. Now where are my panties, Uh where you put them dear, yes they are yours now. Uh, keep them clean and if you wear these out (giggle) we will go out together and buy you more. Yes, I'll let the pretty sales lady know my size and yours (giggle). One more thing, when we make love, make sure you are wearing a clean pair of lacy pink panties. You are my panty boy husband now (giggle). I guess you better learn to get excited and hard while wearing female panties or you will never fuck me again (giggle): panty boy. Next day I after work I set out the task of hand washing 'my' panties in hope of getting lucky later that evening. Ok, hot water and some laundry soap and a 15 minutes soak, rinse and then toss into the dryer should to the trick right? Right before we went to bed I quickly grabbed my panties and climbed into bed. My wife had been observing my laundry duties activities that evening and I assumed we were cool. My hopes of an evening of

having sex where dashed when she turned the lights on stating: it's panty check time, stand up and let examine your feeble attempts to clean these! Ok, I can still see your nasty stains, what temperature did you wash these in? Hot I relied, she laughed, you idiot you should have used cold, as now you've 'set' the stain and ruined a pretty pair of panties. Oh well I guess we will have to go panty shopping tomorrow. Maybe Victoria's Secret? I understand Nancy, your friend Mike's wife just started working there (giggle), maybe she can let us use her discount? She then put her hand on my softening member and said, 'well give it some thought, panty boy, good night. WTF, now she is straight up trying to sexually blackmail me and expose me really? I got out of bed headed for the bathroom sobbing, how could my sweet wife be so cruel. Fifteen minutes or so she knocks on the door, " Jimmy are you ok"? No I'm, how could I be ok when you want to humiliate me and expose my fetish to my friends? Oh you admit it now that you are little perverted panty stealing panty boy? Her words cut me through me like a knife, but she was right. Stand Jim, look at yourself in the mirror wearing my soiled panties, tell me baby who and what did I fall in love with? Then she placed her had on my limp cock and said, I love you but tell me about all your fetishes now or we are done: confess! I'm not going to play a guessing game with you understand! Sobbing, I began to spill my guys about how was molested by an older boy at 11, my Aunt confessed to dressing me as a girl when I was very young,

dressing my mothers lingerie. Yes, I've have fantasies about being fucked my a man while being dressed as a woman. With years in my eyes I looked at my wife, what she was crying too? Why are you crying I asked? I'm so sorry that so many people have hurt you babe and that you are so fucked up now. Maybe we can both get into therapy, you know get some professional help? But for this moment, let's promise to be more open and honest with our sexual feelings and desires ok? Babe I'm sorry I got do angry with you but you did sneak my panties? I had no idea that my panties turned you on so much to the point that you would willing wear them? She started rubbing my pantied cock as she spoke, you know Jim, have a little fantasy of my own. What she whispered in my ear next blew me away. Jim, sometimes I think about being with a woman, coddling and fondling each others breasts? Jim, I, I think I might be Bi? I sorry I've never shared this with you but you understand right ? At that moment, my cock began to swell, she got her answer. Now pulling my panties down she began licking the very backside tip of my cock, you know Jim, maybe I will be willing to support you, like helping you dress like a lady, apply make up and maybe if you wish be with a man as a woman. With these words I erupted a stream of thick sperm all over her beautiful face. Wow, that was fast hon, you agree with my suggestions? Awesome, now for your first lesson Jamie, lick up all the cum you sprayed over my face. Yes, play the part bitch you need to learn to love the taste of your cum. Yes, your female name is Jamie now, do you like it? That's right clean me up, good gurl. Now it's my turn to be pleasured, now be a good lesbian bitch and eat my sweet pussy, XOXO.

Chapter 2 The List

The next morning Carol, my wife was up early and out of the house without waking me. No breakfast or coffee, man that woman be slipp'in, I thought. Well, what looks good in the frig? Oh man, lookie here, a heart shaped note from wifey. [Hi Jim I went shopping with Margie this morning, not sure when I'll be back but, please pickup the following items at the corner drug store:

tampons, pantyhose, nail polish (pink), eye shadow base & palate, concealer, face primer, eyeliner (water proof), mascara, blush, bronzer, highlighter, lip gloss, cosmetic brush set, foundation, setting spray and pamprin. Jim, if you need help just ask the salesgirl in

cosmetics, you know the one you always flirt with, you know Desiree, giggle. Oh and make sure you are wearing the pink lace panties that I let in your drawer. They are yours now, Jamie. Love Carol XOXO, P.S., I've invited some friends over for dinner so please be home by 4 pm.] Groan, I HATE shopping, especially for girl stuff! Ok, so off to drug store I went, stright to the cosmetics counter, list in hand. There she was, Desiree behind the counter, may I help you, she asked? Desiree was the gorgeous offspring of Spanish and Irish parents, about 5' 9" light green eyes and light brown to blonde hair. Her makeup was always impeccable, skirts and blouse always tight and ample cleavage on display. Carol was right that I did flirt with Desiree in the past, but Carol was always with me. It was different now, I was alone and what she possibly thinking? I mean, Carol had always shopped for her own cosmetics and fem items? Looking into her eyes my mind went blank, dry mouth, etc. I handed her the list and mumbled, my wife needs this stuff and I have no idea. Sure, no problem, I can get these for. Carol is your wife right? Yeah, she was in earlier, something about a need for a change and wanted you and I to help her with a make-over surprise. I can help you with every thing on the list except the tampons, their in aisle 12. Oh, and I'll need your help with selecting the foundation shade to ensure a good color match. Ok, what ever I said, I'll be back with the wifey's tampons in a couple minutes. As I walked away, Desiree's last words, "color matching" stuck in my head... Carol's skin tone was much lighter than mine? Mmm, aisle 12, ok here we go, no idea really what to buy my wife, so many confusing choices. I must have been searching for the correct tampons for at least 15 minutes when Desiree found me. Hi, need some help? Absolutely? I have no idea what she needs. Laughing at my ignorance of feminine hygiene products, explained that Carol would at minimum need pads and most likely will need a tampon for her 'heavy' period flows. My suggestion is get her both. Is so sweet and thoughtful of you to do pick these up for you wife, I'm sure she appreciates it. Now let's go go back to the cosmetic department and I ring up your items? Sounds like a plan, I said. Ok, let's try this new foundation shade shall we? Desiree reached for my hand, this was a new level: physical contact. I could feel my heart beating faster, well if well if you have to I said? Desiree, her hand still gently touchind my hand, looked me in the eyes and said, Jim, it is necessary to be sure we get an accurate match and you do want to please your Wife don't you? Yes, of course I want to make Carol happy. Well good, smiling as she applied the foundation to my hand Desiree said, you know Jim, it's not like anyone's going to make assumptions about your sexuality. I mean, why would a handsome stud like you want to wear make up? Ok, of course your are right, I told her. Oh, awesome Jim, this color is perfect. Carol will love it.

Great what is the final damage for all this, I asked? Sure, your total comes to $75.65. Ok, wow this stuff sure adds up fast! Ok here's $76, as Desiree handed back my change she dropped a dime. Oh, so sorry, no problem I said bending over to retrieve .10 cents and at that moment exposing my pink lace thong panties in full view of Desiree. So humiliating, I was speechless. Desiree with a big smile handed me my merchandise but me close and whispered, I love a man who likes to embrace his feminine side, Carol is so lucky.

Chapter 3 - No Refunds, No Returns

So I returned home with all the cosmetics Carol had on your list. She met me as I entered our apartment with big hug, then said that she had to leave again. No big deal, but asked me to read a letter she had written to me. Ok, problem, writing letters was something we did when we first started dating. Jim, l'll be back in about 2 hours, so please read my little ' love' note before I return. One more hug as she felt up my ass for the outline of the thong panties, still wearing them I see? Good, I so happy you did, it says you respect my wishes. I am going to make you so happy you did. Then she kissed me deeply and left without saying where she was going? Oh well, now where is this letter? I found Carol's letter on my pillow, she started, my Dearest husband, tonight I will make your fantasy of being a woman a reality. Don't deny it Jim. I found your hidden stash of female undergarments, shemale porn, etc. Really, why did you NOT trust me enough with your kinky desires? No matter, I know now and I still you move than you realize. Tonight I will give your fantasy, but know this our relationship will change. The changes will be (giggle) sort of a role reversal? To start: take a nice hot bubble bath, yes use mine girly stuff XOXO. Next, use my sugar rub all over your body to exfoliate your skin and then shave all your body hair, yes lov, your arms, legs, chest, balls and ass. Next raise in with cold water

and gently dry ourself. Next, hydrate your skin with some lotion be liberal with it. Now Jim, you don't have much time left so get started. Oh, once your done with this bathing routine, look in your drawer and closet. Yes I picked out some cute girly things for you to wear love XOXO. Make sure you are wearing each item when I return? If NOT, trust me You will sorely regret it!! But I know you will be a Good girl for your wife, your Mistress now won't you? And don't act like you don't know how to put on a bra, panty hose, corset, or breast forms. Please Sissy, remember I know what you've doing when your alone and I'm at work. You see I also found your pictures lol. Well, no more secrets BITCH! I demand you to be ready for me to apply your make up and wig when I return. No excuses! Yes dear, I will be fully shaved and dressed when return. Ok, good, I will be at 7 pm sharp! Out of fear and excitement I started drawing my bubble bath. While the tub was filling I looked into the closet and drawer to see what my wife had purchased. My sweet wife had filled my drawer will so many pretty panties and bras all different styles and colours. These were all mine, really? Wow, what was in my closet? Just a quick peek, so many cute skirts, dresses and tops, all mine? Ok, time was slipping away and the tub was nearly full now. As instructed, I soaked in the fraguent bubble bath for a half hour so relaxing then scrubbed every inch of my body possible with a sugar exfoliate scrub. I then covered my body with a girly shaved cream and shaved my legs, arms, chest, groin, balls and ass. I then showed in cold water to rinse off the remaining shave cream. As I dried my body off the scent purfume and softness of my now hairless body caused me to feel so girly/ feminine, excited and horny. I resisted my base urges to pleasure myself and pushed on to getting dressed as it was almost time for my wife to return. So many panties so many choices, will of I selected a cute pink lace thong panties with matching bra and garter belt. Slipping the panties on another temptation to pleasure myself. Not enough time, 6:30 pm, still had to put on the breast plate and corset. I secured the 38 D breasts to my chest using the medical grade adhesive. Looking the mirror was a bit of a let down, so much work and I still looked like a man, a man with big breasts and small waist. I was nearly in tears when I heard the front door open, Carol would be coming in bedroom any moment and I was pretty much half naked. I quickly grabbed a blouse, skirt and heels got them on and posing on the bed, just as door opened. Knock, knock... omg Jim, Carol told me to just let myself in, that my make over project would be sitting on the bed. It was Desire, Carol WTF!! I was humiliated once again, I began sobbing uncontrollably, why Carol, why? Desiree gave me several tissues to dry tears. I don't understand, why would do this? She came closer and hugged me. I never been this close to Desiree or so absolutely vulnerable before. She knew just like Carol that I was to be a sissy no denial. Jim, she said, Carol is giving you a gift, this is what you want really. Carol loves you didn't understand or how to help you experience being a girl. I can sweet heart. Yes, Carol may have, did violate your privacy by sharing your sissy feelings with me but I agreed to help you both. She then kissed me on the lips and said go wash away those trears hon and let's transform you into a beautiful woman. Before she applied my make up she asked me to remove my skirt and blouse, something about not getting any make on my clothes, ok made sence? Desiree was wonderful explaining the fairly complicated process of applying the various types make up, contouring, eye shadow, liner, etc. I almost forgot that I was half naked inches away from a gorgeous woman. The scent of her purfume and beautiful cleavage got the best of my unrestrained manhood. Desiree noticed my problem and said, I see you are getting turned on baby? You like it that I'm feminizing don't sweety? Oh of course you do

#feminized husband #xdress #embrace your femininity

[bicultureblog]

okay this is probably not the right place to ask LMAO but i literally contemplate my sexuality every week. I feel like my attraction is a lot less strong for women that it’s almost invisible, and along with that, i only feel attracted to two women right now. I’m also only attracted to two guys rn, but i feel like I’m attracted to guys more often and more strongly. I know that could just mean that I have a preference with guys but idk. Also i grew up desiring relationships with guys plus i have to admit im sorta homophobic internally but to MYSELF. Like im fine with other people dating whoever they want but imagining myself with a woman just doesnt sit right with me for some reason. But at the same time im pretty sure im attracted to these two women.

In conclusion, im confused as heck and im sorry for taking up ur inbox space lmaooo

first i’d like to reassure you that internalized homophobia doesn’t make you evil, you don’t have to prove that you’re a good person, you don’t have to atone for the sin of growing up in a world that teaches you to hate yourself. you obviously don’t believe in homophobia, you’ve just internalized a heterosexist bias and it’s hurting you. you know to treat other queer folks with respect and you deserve equal respect and kindness and help unlearning that shame, not further shame for somehow disrespecting other gays by proxy, jesus christ. you are not an enemy to queers. you don’t sound like a homphobe, you sound like another queer person who has been hurt by homophobia. you are not a villain. please don’t feel ashamed, please don’t blame yourself for the harm done to you as if it’s really you hurting other people.

and on the topic of sexuality, it sounds like you like girls! you might like boys a lot more than girls, but you do like a couple girls, and that’s queer enough for me. i would guess your internalized homophobia influences that perception and could be causing you to repress and downplay your attraction to girls, but it could also just be that you like guys more, and that’s totally fine. even if it is the internalized homophobia, that takes time to unlearn, and you shouldn’t force yourself to rush it. i took a long time to accept that i like guys and it doesn’t make me evil or dangerous or weak. i needed a transitional period. i tried to go straight from “100% monosexual allergic-to-men lesbian” to “proud slutty bisexual” and it didn’t fucking work. shaming myself for having internalized biphobia didn’t undo it. i was scared, i felt like a traitor. what i needed was to relax. i needed a middle ground to teach me that it wasn’t all or nothing, that i didn’t need to stress myself out and punish myself for not being “better.” i needed the term “bisexual lesbian,” because the word “lesbian” was such a core part of my identity, i couldn’t just rip it out. now i feel whole and at home in my bisexuality, precisely because i know i can come back to lesbianism whenever i want to. it was like a kid who needs their mom to come with them on the first day of school before they feel safe going alone. another example: i’ve always hated the word “wife,” my whole life. i hated the idea of being called a wife. i dreaded getting married and having to put up with being called a wife. one day i realized i didn’t have to! i realized that even if i was a married woman one day, i didn’t have to call myself a wife if i didn’t want to. i could be a partner, or a spouse, or a female husband. since i realized that, i don’t hate the word wife anymore. i feel much better about it. i feel ok with the idea of being called a wife, because i know that it’s my choice. i don’t have to be forced into anything i don’t want. you will probably need some kind of transition like that. it’ll take a while to accept yourself and get comfortable in your own skin. the important thing is that it’s your choice. you don’t “have” to do anything. you don’t have a responsibility to be a model queer. do whatever makes you comfortable.

#juno speaks #ask #i'm sorry i took so long! #and that the answer is so rambly lmao #i hope i'm still in time to be of help #not gimmick

[cattles-bians]

damie vibecca exes au part 21

post directory

em: viola and becs love their lil hikes

em: oh actually did we already designate hiking as a damie thing

em: hmm.

em: yknow what damie and vibecca can both enjoy their weekend hikes

em: they bring isabel and she’s RUNNING up the path and tires herself out in 10 minutes and rebecca and viola swap out piggybacking her

obsetress: yeah it tracks because they both like fitness and viola likes her walks

obsetress: plus viola's like "it's good for isabel"

em: vibecca power lesbians love the challenging trails and damie just enjoy the sights

obsetress: dani venting to jamie one night: they don't even LIKE hiking, but they still had to do the blackjack loop, and WE won't even do the blackjack loop,

em: dani and her fanny packs... every time she sees isabel on a trail she like

em: stuffs her pockets w granola akdhdkfhdj

em: drives viola NUTS she’s like we packed our Own snacks

obsetress: dani gets SO excited

---

obsetress: man i love these lil gay bitches

obsetress: no but um

obsetress: jamie gets in some fight w rebecca early on after they've reconnected

obsetress: prob about her dating vi tbh

obsetress: and jamie's so put off by the whole thing and is ranting to dani about it and dani's all like "you just need to have better boundaries, jamie, they're her choices, aren't they? not yours"

obsetress: and jamie just stares at her like.........................................

obsetress: "dani, you literally continued hooking up with viola for weeks after you broke up"

"oh, c'mon jamie, it wasn't weeks"

"no?"

"it was months"

em: dani shooting herself in the foot to like. correct jamie is so funny

em: not even ‘no that’s different’ or ‘no i’ve changed’ like ‘actually it was months’

obsetress: she says it w such a lil pleased smile on her face too

---

obsetress:

obsetress: like who the FUCk gave her the right???

obsetress: a whole babe

obsetress: she didn't need to smirk like this

em: god she’s so Hot

obsetress: just think about all the times she and viola get into the banter

obsetress: and this exact face

em: i know we veered dramatically into soft territory w exes au but vi extremely stubborn lloyd and rebecca lawyer do no harm take no shit jessel truly. have some spectacular arguments

obsetress: they have absolute blowouts

obsetress: and then blowouts after the blowouts iywkim

obsetress: like dani's do no harm take no shit but she and vi also enable the SHIT out of each other

em: like dani tried but dani wasnt like. fully baked yet

obsetress: yeah! and then when she finally does and breaks up with her, she's back in her bed a few weeks later

obsetress: rebecca is the first person to not take viola's shit and to tell her no and viola can't fucking stand it

em: jamies convinced it’s a ruse for more make up sex

obsetress: dani's like "no, babe, trust me, i know what that looks like and this––"

"wot"

"what?"

em: dani (hushed) no she’s regular mad this isn’t fun mad

em: jamie (hushed but incredulous) FUN MAD?!

obsetress: please tell me how dani explains fun mad

em: a lil eyebrow waggle and a wink but then i like

em: thought abt her going to lift jamie up on a bench ‘well she kinda’

---

obsetress: the way rebecca looks at peter when he is (seemingly) (unfortunately) good w the kids has me thinking about like

obsetress: rebecca seeing vi w isabel for the first time and just

em: turns out the evil landlord shes banging is also…… soft

obsetress: rebecca and jamie on the phone and rebecca's like "i know she's... a landlord and all, but you should've seen her with isabel"

"you've gotta be fucking kidding me, becs––"

"no, maybe you're too quick to write her off. maybe people can be more than one thing"

and jamie just groans

em: poor jamie and her class traitor ex gf

em: blows kiss to rebecca

---

em: dani: i gotta go to the bathroom i’ll be right back

em: jamie: ok love

em: dani; (elbows jamie) ive Gotta Go To The B

obsetress: screamed

obsetress: dani trips over her own feet as she gets up to go

obsetress: then i just start thinking about dani absolutely pouncing on jamie the second they get into the bathroom and then i just start thinking about. how often that happens

obsetress: bathrooms or closets or wherever else

em: dani has this 6th sense for places to sneak off to

obsetress: god she DOES

obsetress: she's so good at it

em: she enters a new building and is taking lil notes just in case

obsetress: meanwhile rebecca and viola exchanging a look while they wait, knowing EXACTLY where they're going

em: viola leaning in like how much time do we have and becs is like vi. where’s your decorum

em: then she looks down at her watch and lists it down to the second

obsetress: she pauses

obsetress: then

obsetress: "and another six minutes if––" and vi's like "she'll want to go again"

em: viola buffing her nails on her blazer: she’ll want to go again

obsetress: rebecca rolls her eyes but she's grinning

obsetress: "you're all too smug" "me? smug?" becs just shakes her head and tugs her in by the lapels of her blazer

em: damie coming back to a fairly chaste vibecca kiss: BLEH can you guys GET A ROOM

obsetress: rebecca's just verly placidly like

obsetress: "dani, your zipper is still down, by the way"

em: dani; thanks :)

---

em: dani clayton voice i’m braver and severely Weirder than ppl think

obsetress: she's a bit of a weirdo

em: see now i’m thinking about dani glancing away going dang i thought i was keeping it under wraps

obsetress: ngl i think about that a lot like

obsetress: she IS a weirdo but what does jamie know

obsetress: that she's like yeah she's a fucking weirdo

obsetress: like she's anxious and jumpy but jamie wouldn't call that weird

obsetress: what did she know and when did she know it

em: i’m thinking about jamie catching dani doing something like. idk eating a burger layer by layer or w a knife and fork and going

em: what a freak. i’m gonna marry her

em: dani tells jamie no this is a normal american thing and then when they go to vermont jamie realises no this absolutely is not

obsetress: she says something about it and dani doesn't even remember saying it in the first place

obsetress: "i didn't say that"

"you literally did say that"

"why would i say that"

(jamie taylor eyebrow raise) "you tell me"

(dani clayton flush and stutter) "i–– i..."

em: dani mumbles something like i didn’t think it’d pan out like this i just wanted the cool gardener to think i was. semi normal

em: jamie waggles her eyebrows like cool gardener???

obsetress: dani bumps her shoulder into jamie's "shut up"

"don't think i will, actually"

em: jamie starts to v seriously eat her burger layer by layer. danis like ‘ur taking the mick!’ and jamies like (sheepish) naw i just. wanted to see what it’s like

---

em: every so often they’ll run into someone who went to school w jamie or knew her as a youth and they’re like ‘wow you’ve mellowed out heaps’

em: therapy queen

em: theyre in a pub and someone’s like ‘as i live and breathe! jamie taylor! i heard you died! someone told me you were arrested for (crime that becomes bigger and more outlandish w every new person)’ and jamies like ‘aye’ and they’re like

em: all sharing a beer at a quaint little pub n this old acquaintance from before has these v chaotic stories and danis like

em: jamie? my jamie? u must be confused. jamie goes to bed at 9:30pm watching antiques roadshow

obsetress: jamie just grins a lil

em: danis like haha jamie wow ur so mysterious and (she is already casing the joint for places to sneak off too)

---

em: damvibecca sittin in a circle passing a joint around

em: a nice thought

obsetress: Wholesome

obsetress: dani falls asleep first, with her head in jamie's lap and they're all just kinda vibin and rebecca gets up to get her a blanket or smth and vi's just kinda like

obsetress: "you're really good for her, you know"

obsetress: all quiet and pensive

em: jamie takes a loooooonng pause and she’s like. i was sceptical but. you’re good for becs too

em: and then even quieter she’s like

em: thanks

em: the softest thank u from one jamie taylor

obsetress: rebecca gets back and looks back n forth between the two of them

"why are you two being weird"

"we're not–- what?"

"we're just sitting here, baby"

obsetress: rebecca narrows her eyes

---

obsetress: jamie likes vi for becs because vi reminds her to live a little

obsetress: and can also keep up with her temperament because holy shit did jamie hate all of becca's bougie shit

em: jamie absolutely has um

em: like a repairs pile that shes gonna get around to Some Day re fixin clothes etc and

em: as much as i love 'rebecca and jamie worlds most calm and collected no drama couple' im defs toying with like

em: their ONE Big fight is beccs throws out the repairs pile

obsetress: "i was gonna––"

"no you WEREN'T, jamie!"

em: jamies like i The Tool I Needed is outta stock i had to- and becs is like? what, like you couldnt make do?

em: and even then when the heat dies down its still v calm and civil but like

em: FINALLY a lil dramatic angle to jamie rebecca

em: dani loves the repairs pile bc she loves a project

obsetress: she's also very content to let jamie have her silly little thing

obsetress: because it doesn't bother her and jamie is very good at keeping it in her space

obsetress: rebecca asks her about it one day and dani's like "oh i'm just glad she has a hobby :)"

em: couple times jamie's like. shes been tryna repair this one chair for months and eventually shes like

em: (swings axe) winters coming

obsetress: dani just watches with the dopiest grin

obsetress: jamie's all wot

obsetress: and dani's like

obsetress: :) you're hot :)

em: danis like hey i know its a brisk autumn but um

em: if u wanna

em: mimes taking shirt off

obsetress: jamie does it

obsetress: jamie rolling her eyes as she unbuttons the top couple buttons then tugs her shirt over her head

obsetress: but she's grinning

obsetress: dani sneaking up behind her as she's sorting the wood and just leaning into her bare back

obsetress: jamie jumps "oi!" and dani grins and nuzzles between her shoulders

---

obsetress: been having so many becca feelings in our rewatch

em: oh gosh

em: i love her she truly is a tragic character

obsetress: same

obsetress: i just want her to live happily ever after in her lil power lesbian outfits with her lil power lesbian wife

obsetress: like she needs someone who can MATCH her

obsetress: her energy and her intensity and her passion

obsetress: and like she and jamie can push each other to be better but jamie’s just kinda like “lemme chill n do my gay little tasks” yknow

em: ya and like they Worked but they worked Much better as friends than anything romantic

em: jamies the lesbian best friend that’s like girl. stop settling for mediocre men with accents

obsetress: yeah!

em: jamie ‘how soon is too soon to ask out my good friend rebecca jessel after her v messy break up w peter quint’ taylor

em: and then rebecca ends up being the one like ‘have you ever thought about us?’ while jamies agonising over it like four months later

em: rebeccas a little go getter and jamie needs a little bit of a shove sometimes

obsetress: jamie, surrounded by three shovers,

obsetress: rebecca says it so casually over dinner like she’s talking about the weather and jamie’s like !?

obsetress: i can also see like

obsetress: rebecca says that bit about "have you ever thought about us" at dinner and jamie blanches and second guesses everything they do "is....... is this a date" becca just shrugs "do you want it to be?"

em: jamies motormouthing like ok but i cannot stress enough that i was comforting you about ur break up in a friend way no ulterior motives way i am ur friend first and foremost and rebecca just like

em: lets her get it out of her system

em: ‘well what about my ulterior motives’

obsetress: she WOULD

obsetress: "did you ever consider that maybe i had ulterior motives"

em: jamie: (pursing her lips, furrowing her brow that way she does) you had a messy break up with peter quint….. to seduce me.

em: rebecca: mmhmm

obsetress: jamie: me?

obsetress: rebecca: well, maybe a couple of reasons, but... yeah. you were up there

---

em: after i asked out [ex] i spent ages agonising over when it would be appropriate to kiss her (i know...) and then one night at a party she’s like ‘so why haven’t u kissed me yet?’ and i’m like are u fucken. mate it takes two to tango

obsetress: oh my god?

em: drawing from that

em: jamie thinks they’re taking it slow (but not that slow) and rebecca is like girl what

em: ‘i never took you for old fashioned’

‘wot, me?’

'mmhm’

‘old fashioned?!’

‘well, you haven’t kissed me yet-‘

‘you haven't kissed me! i figured you wanted to take it slow after p-‘ and then rebecca like full on dips jamie and kisses her

em: rebeccas like always wanted to do that at least once lol

em: jamie is speechless for a couple minutes

obsetress: rEBECCA

---

obsetress: thinking thoughts rebecca jamie same height but rebecca heels

obsetress: jamie looking up @ her all

obsetress: rebecca in her heels and is chilly and jamie getting up onto her tip toes to wrap her big coat around rebecca's shoulders

em: softtt

#the dani jamie viola rebecca exes au #featuring soft jambeccas... #one more! #when im done editing it! #would u believe we go on a lot of tangents also i edit a bunch of keysmashes out jshabfkas

[drivingsideways]

k-drama rec list

Prior to 2020 I’d maybe watched 2 k-dramas in my entire life, but this year I got sucked in, thanks to some great recs, and y’know, *gestures * everything.  

I think I’d held off watching kdramas because my impression of them was limited to romances that I didn’t enjoy at all. But this was the year I discovered the equivalent of “gen fic” kdrama- dramas that had wonderful ensemble casts, strong story lines that weren’t entirely romance focused and also a variety in terms of themes and styles. A big plus was that I found so many of these dramas had women leading the writers’ room, and seeing the effect of that in the story telling. (Notable exceptions: a certain “star” writer who should please stop inflicting her badly written, formulaic crap on the world, yes Kim Eun-Sook, I mean you, and whoever wrote that trashfire Flower of Evil)

So here I am with my own rec list! Caveat- these are mostly not the dramas released in 2020, I’m still playing catch up! :)

Under the cut for length

My Mister/ My Ahjussi  (2018, Written by Park Hae-Young, Directed by Kim Won-Seok, starring Lee Sun-kyun and Lee Ji-eun aka IU) 

This was definitely my absolute favourite of the shows I watched this year across western/ asian media. It’s a story about the thread that binds us all and the ineffability of human connection. It’s also a story that deconstructs ideas of masculinity and honour and shame in a non-western context, but with an extremely compassionate touch.  It’s a story that doesn’t shy away from showing the consequences of material and spiritual poverty; and how one can so easily feed into the other. It’s a love story that isn’t a romance, except that it’s a Romance. It’s about finding salvation in one another and in the kindness of strangers.  It’s about choosing life, and picking yourself up off the floor to take that one last step and then the next and then the next. The one quibble I have with the series is that it could have been better paced, it does get extremely slow after the half way mark. But god, do they land the ending. Both Lee Sun-kyun and IU turn in absolutely heartbreaking performances, and fair warning, be prepared to go through an entire box of tissues watching this series. 

Life  (2018,  written by Lee Soo-yeon  and directed by Hong Jong-chan, starring Lee Dong-wook, Cho Seung-woo, Won Jin-ah, Lee Kyu-hyung, Yoo Jae-myung and Moon So-ri.)

Medical dramas are very much not my thing, and I wouldn’t have taken a chance on it except that @michyeosseo said I should, and she was right! It’s a medical drama in the sense that it’s set in a hospital, but rather than a “case-fic” format, this is actually a sharp commentary on the corporatization of health care, and the business of mixing, well, money and what should be a fundamental human right. Writer Lee Soo-yeon was coming off the global success of Stranger/Secret Forest S1 when this aired, so I understand that expectations were probably sky-high, and people were disappointed when this show didn’t give them the adrenaline rush that they wanted. On the other hand, I thought that this outing was really much more nuanced in terms of the politics and also how the ending doesn’t allow you the luxury of easy-fixes. This show has a great ensemble cast, and while it took me a while to get used to Lee Dong-wook’s woodenness (i ended up calling him mr.cadaver after watching this and was surprised to learn that he’s very popular?), in the end I was quite sold on his version of angry angst-bucket elder-sibling Dr.Ye Jin-woo. His best scenes were with Lee Kyu-hyung who turns in a lovely, achy performance as the paraplegic Dr. Ye Seon-woo who just wants to live a normal life. The love story between the two brothers is actually the emotional backbone of the story, and I think they landed that perfectly. 

My one quibble with writer-nim is that she ended up writing in a forgettable and somewhat (for me at least) uncomfortable romance between the characters played by Won Jin-ah and Cho Seung-Woo. I think part of my uncomfortable-feeling was that I got the strong sense that the writer herself didn’t want to write this romance, it was as if she was being made to shoe-horn it in for Studio Reasons, and she basically grit her teeth and did the worst possible job of it.  I do wish we could have absolutely had the OT3 of my dreams: Moon So-ri/Cho Seung-woo/Yoo Jae-myung like, c’mon TV gods MAKE IT HAPPEN, just...look at them!!!! 

Anyway, that apart, I think this was a very engaging series, and by engaging, I also mean thirst-enabling, see below. 

 Stranger (aka Secret Forest  or Forest of Secrets) S1 & 2 : (2017-, Written by Lee Soo-yeon, directed by 

2017′s smash hit aired a much anticipated second season in 2020, and I managed to catch up just in time to watch that live, so that was thrilling :D . Writer Lee Soo-yeon  mixes up thriller/office comedy/political commentary in an ambitious series. I think S1 is more “exciting” than S2 in terms of the mystery and pacing,  but S2 is far more dense and interesting in terms of political commentary because it takes a long hard look at institutional corruption and in true writer-nim fashion doesn’t prescribe any easy solutions. Anyway, please enjoy public prosecutor Cho Seung-woo and police officer Bae Doona as partners/soulmates kicking ass and taking names in pursuit of Truth, Justice and just a goddamn peaceful meal, along with a stunningly competent ensemble cast. Also yes, Han Yeo Jin is a lesbian, sorry, I don’t make the rules. 

Search: WWW  (2019, Written by Kwon Do-Eun, directed by Jung Ji-hyun & Kwon Young-il, starring  Im Soo-jung, Lee Da-hee, Jeon Hye-jin)

GOD. Where do I start? +1000 for writer Kwon Do-Eun saying “fuck the patriarchy” in the most grandiose way possible, i.e. absolutely refusing to acknowledge that it exists. Yes, this is that power fantasy, and it’s also a fun, slice-of-life  tale about three women navigating their way through work, romance, national politics and everything in between. It’s true that I wasn’t entirely sold on the amount of time spent on the romance, and I really wish they’d actually had a textual wlw romance, though the subtext through the entire series is PRACTICALLY TEXT. But still, it maintains that veneer of plausible deniability and I think queer fans who are sick of that kind of treatment in media have a very valid grouse against the show. On the other hand, personally I felt that the queer-platonic vibe of the show is very wonderful and true to real life, and it was only reinforced by the ending. This is a show written by a woman for women (like me), and it shows. 

Hyena  (2020, Written by Kim Roo-Ri, directed by Jang Tae-yoo & Lee Chang Woo, starring  Kim Hye-soo and Ju Ji-hoon )

Those of you who’ve been watching hit zombie epic Kingdom are probably familiar with Ju Ji-hoon’s brand of sexiness already. I had not watched Kingdom and got hit in the face by Mr.Sexy McSexyPants’ turn as a brash, privileged-by-birth, up and coming lawyer who gets completely runover by the smoking hot and incredibly dangerous fellow lawyer/competitor from the other side of the tracks in the person of Kim Hye-Soo. When I say they set the room on fire, I mean it, ok. Every single scene between these two is an actual bonfire of sexual attraction and emotional hand grenades, and they’re both absolutely riveting to watch. “Flower of Evil” wishes they had what this show has- an actual grown up romance as opposed to a thirteen year old twilight fan’s idea of an adult romance. 

The “lawyer” shenanigans and the “cases” are hit or miss, and I think the occasional comedy fell flat for me. But that’s not why I mainlined like 6 episodes of this series overnight like a coke addict, and that’s not why you’re going to do it either. It’s so RARE, even in these enlightened days to find a female character like Jung Geum-ja: hard as nails, unapologetic about it, and not punished by the narrative for it. The best part for me is that she feels like a woman’s woman, not a man’s idea of what a Strong Female Character should be. Anyways, when I grow up I want to have what Kim Hye-soo has ok?

Other dramas that I watched this year, quickly rated:

The King: Eternal Monarch (3/10 and those 3 points are only for the combined goodness of second leads who deserved better- Jung Eun Chae, Woo Do Hwan and Kim Kyung Nam. Please head over to my AO3 and read my attempts to fix this garbage fire and rescue their characters from canon)

Flower of Evil (-10/100, dont @ me)

Tale of the Nine Tailed (5/10, I think it succeeds at what it set out to do, which is a light hearted, sweet fantasy-romance-melodrama, plus “second lead” Kim Beom will make you cry as the hot mess of a half human/ half fox spirit ALL TEARS character. I think if you’re into kdrama romances as a genre, this is probably a good bet?)

Signal  (7/10,  This was the first full kdrama I watched this year and would definitely recommend. It’s a police procedural with time travel shenanigans and has an engaging plot, good pacing, texture and compelling performances. My one disappointment with it was the way they wrote Kim Hye-soo’s character. As literally the only female character to survive in any way, she was given short shrift, and toward the end it really began to grate on me.)

Six Flying Dragons - (7/10, also would recommend if you’re interested in Korean historicals. It definitely already feels a bit dated in terms of styling and production values, and even scripting and acting choices. But it has a good balance of fantasy and history and political commentary. I was not a fan of Yoo In-Ah’s performance in this series, but it’s not anything that would make you want to nope out of the series. It’s GoT , if GoT was thoughtful about politics and characters and not the misogynist, racist trashfire that it became.)

My Country: The New Age - (3.5/10, and that’s 3 points to Jang Hyuk’s fan and 0.5.points to Woo Do Hwan’s heaving bosom. If you like your historical drama/fantasy with very pretty men, very gay subtext -seriously RIP to show makers who thought they could hetero it but didn’t account for Woo Do Hwan’s Tragic Face- lots of blood and tears and very nonsense plot, this is right up your alley. I probably would have enjoyed it more in other circumstances, I think? But this one just annoyed me too much at the time! 

I have a couple of more dramas to watch on my list, that’ll probably carry me over into 2021, so see ya on the other side! :D

#k-drama #kdrama rec list #2020: A YEAR #i'm a queue for you

[sothischickshe]

did i ever send you asks? did i???? anyway i have faith in you and believe that you can answer #3 four times ❤️❤️❤️❤️ (but also i really want you to answer 4, 20, 6, and 9 heh heh)

i dont fucking KNOW, am i to remember things???? although i presumably would have felt a jolt of disgust at seeing your username so maybe i’d recall if you had???

re 3 x 4, im a total hypocrite cos i did basically this to someone else but ugh, topics make it easier!!!! but ok

3. rant. just do it

i. serenity isn’t that good of a film. look, i like firefly, i like it a lot! and obvi i can appreciate why ppl feel fondly about the revival-ness of the film, and it was trying to tie a lot together. but i hate how the thread of moral greyness of the show was kind of lost and suddenly they (and especially mal) are like there is RIGHT and WRONG blah blah blah. (also, i kinda hate how in the board game characters get neatly denoted as im/moral... feel like whoever made it was watching a different show to me tbh)

ii. the make your own post button is free!!!!!!!!! sure there are times when additions are totes reasonable and fun, but if you wanna make a different point... just make your own post.

iii. i mean i’m not a lesbian so maybe this isn’t my rant to have but i had an anon gold star lesbian ask in my inbox which i deleted... like fuck off with that gross judgemental shit?

iv. nore’s whole waffle abt how they’ve had so few lady guests on drink champs bc the only women whose phone numbers he has are his wife and foxy brown is LUDICROUS. first of all... dream fucking guests???????????????? so!!!!???????????!!!! second of all, hire a booker???????? third of all MARY EP WHEN. i feellllll like dave east was sorting that out for real yea??????????

all right, good number choices. i’ll give you that.

4. do you think it’s ok to separate the artist from the art?

i think it’s ok to enjoy things made by terrible people. you can’t change what you like, and i think it’s disingenuous to pretend that you can. like, i hate r kelly, but that doesn’t make ‘vibe’ a bad song, nor can it. however, you can choose whether or not you (still) want to engage with that person’s creations, and i think you do have to make a decision as to whether you want to (financially) support that creator. (i do not!)

ultimately, i think you can rarely successfully separate creator from creation, their perspective leaks in. and understanding that can make your appreciation of their creations much better! or it can help you critique it, especially if you find something about it unsettling but are finding it hard to identify/name.

i do think it’s ok to enjoy ‘problematic’ things made by ‘problematic’ ppl bc everyone and everything is problematic somehow, especially if you’re going back into time. everyone’s lines in the sand are gonna be differently placed and i think that’s ok. there are some creators works i have no interest in engaging with. there are some i have already engaged with before learning more about them, and i cannot turn off the existing opinions i have of those works, though they do become shaded by the things ive learnt so im unlikely to want to engage with them. there are many that i disagree with on many things but whose creations im still interested in engaging with bc i like experiencing a range of perspectives. i DO curate my experience with media pretty heavily - i don’t own a tv or subscribe to any streaming services or listen to the radio. if i feel like im engaging with a lot of men-led media i tone it down, lol.

but i do think this is probably the wrong question. the question is more CAN you separate the artist from the art? and i think the answer is no, or at least i don’t see how you can do it well, without losing its context. and artists who encourage you to.... i think are hiding something tbh. (like!!! did anyone listen to that seinfeld ep of wtf???!? WTF indeed)

20. describe your blog in 3-5 words

profoundly and rage-inducingly unsearchable

6. how many pairs of shoes do you have?

answered

9. favourite brand of clothing?

eh, i’m not really big into brands. whoever makes these oversized men’s tshirts i keep (kept) swiping from conferences? they’re very good quality.

for shoes it always WAS adidas anyway, lol

ask meme which again i’ll point out has a wide range of numbers on it which are not the number 3

#lotta rage man lotta rage #tv #films #podcasts #am i just mad cos i wanna play as atherton AND hire a companion....maybe but not ONLY #tumblr #drink champs #like srsly an ep with his wife??? i'd love it???? #shoes #clothes #Board games #Oh i guess i subscribe to the bbc lol but only for uc and oc

[abbeyfangirl]

dragon age: all characters (companions)

I’ve been in this fandom for a hot minute now and I want to update my opinions on characters :)

Origins

Alistair: super sweet dude who literally is not the stereotypicalchantryguyfightme. He’s a great example of healthy masculinity and I totally wish he was bi because I have an entire essay on that— also: he’s a poc! His mum was brown. In game he’s got dark features. if you really want a blond/blue-eyes/white guy, make your warden that. or accept that brown people can be noble and moral. or just draw cailan, idk. just because BioWare whitewashes doesn’t mean you should.

Leliana: someone hug my singing girlfriend before I crush her under with my own hugs. Also: nugs. Yes! Shoes. Yes! She likes how I style my hair? YES!! I honestly think she’s super duper and it pisses me off whenever someone’s like: yeah she enjoys killing people and the Game. ok. and michel de chevin willingly participated in genocidal marches through the alienage he grew up in with his elvhen mum. 

Morrigan: dirty swamp witch that i stan and also have a v big crush on. tiddies. Have a son with a GW so we can raise him with our tiddies out in the forest. she’s also white-passing, as her father was chasind and all people we’ve seen that are chasind are black. therefore, she is biracial. therefore, poc can be goths and don’t shy away from giving morrigan a darker skintone. if the devs had of been thinking, she’d have a darker skintone.

Zevran: Actually is the best romance, I think. Loves consent, therefore I will stan him so hard my skull cracks a little. Also: he is a very brown boy and if he’s white in da4 I’m seriously going to throw all canon out the fucking window. genuinely a good person who needs to be told so. 

Wynne: grandma who only likes my friends who go to church. but also super sweet and I’d rest my head on her bosom (in a platonic way omg ZEVRAN)

Sten: angry quiet boi. the bestest boi. I totally would give him a kitten for a gift and bake him cookies. Thicc softie. I think if I had DA:O and i knew how to use mods i would mod the fuck outta him. sorry.

Sha(y)le: who’s gender? idk her. See also: fuck birds and authority. pound ur ass into the ground you feathery meatbag little shits. fuck songbirds.

Dog: such a good boi. thicc. thinks Alistair is a whiny fuck and is Morrigan’s only friend. love him. he’s the cutest companion. bet.

Ohgren: honestly forgot about him bcc he’s such a shitbag. also: he could’ve been a really cool addiction recovery type but NOPE. probably would have a trump shirt in a modern au and would catcall wlw and hit mlm. no thanks.

Awakening

Anders: he acts like rlly straight but he’s so gay I can smell it. also he’s rlly cute and fun and I love him so much.

Justice: MAYBE i’M selF CONSCious OF THE twitchING. is the friend that genuinely doesn’t get dick jokes but is ur 110% ride or die.

Nathaniel Howe: honestly is sort of a white knight/neck beard a little, but it’s kind of charming with his whole velanna m’lady?? grump boi. annoying soul patch that I’d mod out SO FAST—

Sigrun: would have ROMANCED the FUCK out of her. why she even entertains the idea of fucking with ohgren makes me realize most of the writers are dumbfucks.png. peppy little emo. 12/10 would die if she kissed my cheek teasingly.

Ohgren: why. why. why. I’d have brought Shayle over. Maybe Zev? Definitely Dog.

Velanna: she was written to be an annoying feminist and you can tell but I deadass am a kindred spirit with her bcc I too am deadpan annoyed with Thedas’ general population too. love her. Would’ve loved to romance her. She’d totally be one of those who’d get all tsundere and be like “n-no i hate you” *kisses the fuckin soul out of you then blushes so hard she’s now a tomato*

Dragon Age II

Anders: fuck the cops. i don’t care. fuck the cops. (vine reference). also: do i hate him for blowing up the chantry that would eventually annul a huge collection of his people? no. read dalishious’s meta on Anders. v intriguing. didn’t they retcon the fuck out of the reported deaths too? like there was like eight Templars and Elthinia in there. Templars killed more “abominations” in a day than Anders in the game canon—

Aveline: initially thought she was fine and then realized she’s shit to my lil brother and I will fucking clap her ginger ass. See also: whorephobia isn’t a joke so fuck off with treating Isabela badly, you tit.

Bethany: sunshine. Literal sunshine. I feel my freckles grow in her presence and i love it. she’s my little baby sister and I’d slam that ogre so fuckin hard before it touched either twin.

Carver: there has to be a mod where both twins survive. I love them both to bits. My babies. carver is my bitter, angry little brother and I can relate because I too am very angry and would totally clap my own ass. hes so genuine and I don’t get the competition between Beth and Carver. Like, both are fuckin stellar in different ways. In this essay I will—

Fenris: honestly, I don’t get the general hate between him and Anders. Fenris’ main arc should’ve been a recovery arc, not drunken moping and revenge. he deserves better. give him a soft sweater instead of his spikes and let him love himself as much as I love him for MAKERS SAKE. like when you really think about their relationship, it could’ve been an eye-opener for fenris and finally some legit sympathy for anders. but we all know that if they had of teamed up that Meredith would’ve been dead before the end of Act 1 so.

Isabela: whorephobia is not a joke. oversexualizing your only appearing brown woman is so poorly written. how about we appreciate her and her lovely bosoms but also let people tease her about her heart of gold? her innate understanding of freedom? instead of just a wave of dick? please?? can we give her some pants for when she fights? can we accept that i fall for rogues who hate themselves?? fuck. also whomever draws her x femHawke x Merrill literally is after my own heart.

Merrill: my fucking babygirl MARRY ME. Fenris could’ve been her older brother type, but NO. she and Isabela should’ve been canonical gfs instead of Isabela/Fenris (no shaming the pairing tho!!). I love how she’s written as neurodivergent. V nice. Sometimes I just look her up and cry because she’s fucking everything. Also: she’s in the Dalish origin and she’s far from being white. Why did they make the most innocent/naïve character really white? hmmmm.

Sebastian: whew that boy. Would totally be that annoying Mormon at your door but you still let him in bcc he’s super sweet. Also: huge ass bible thumper and should get his head slap because you said the maker loved all his children why do you defend a complicit old hag you annoying attractive fuck—

Varric: totally is a bard and the devs couldn’t handle the idea of him being one bcc it might make him look less straight. is the only grey morality person I don’t want to fucking bash in with a fry pan. he sees people and I like that, but you totally know he’s siding with mages every time bcc him and Anders are like besties. I’m sorry. I don’t make the rules. “Professional Younger Brother”.

Tallis: I know nothing about her but she seems okay. I think she was an escaped slave and honestly? Fucking props. Spy on a shitting organization, idk what you’re doing, but your VA was that cool lesbian from SPN so I think ur okay?

Inquisition

Blackwall: Redemption Arc 101. Love him to bits. Sad dad bunwall. good man. actually atoned for his sins by actively becoming a good person. his initial design is 80% hotter im so sorry but so not.

Cassandra: was way browner in the last game. would romance the fuck outta her. I love me a butch lady who melts at my dorky recitation of poetry. BioWare is a coward. also is the worst choice for divine. but not a bad person. could use some more guidance or get her ass whipped by a dalish elf about religion or a circle mage kid whos like “yeah bud i didn’t ask for the templars to whip my ass everyday for existing.”

The Iron Bull: I think the Qunari/Vashoth were a little based off black people (the whole anti blackness thing where ppl are scared of them bcc of whatever reason) and it pisses me off that he had a weird ass dubcon thing with Dorian in banter. It doesn’t make sense— he’s an A+++ dom and would not jump straight in role play without at least checking in at first like wtf BioWare.

Cole: his mother was chasind so he’s like not supposed to be that white? or like biracial? albino? idk. love him to bits tho. He’s neurodivergent and I deadass love him. romancing him? idk. I see why ppl think it’s fuckin nasty but also like as a writer I’d age him the fuck up so fast before my inquisitor even THOUGHT about that. like idk. I’m down with him being a sweet little bro character tho. he’s a babe. love him.

Sera: had the worst fucking writer I’ve ever seen and I willingly read the twilight saga twice by a shit ass racist white lady who okay’d pedophilia. like. Fuck you Kristjanson suck your own dick you fuck. had the worst options in regards to speak to her. has a thicc case of internalized racism that literally most of the fandom just loves to use against her. my lesbian neurodivergent queen. Would write a thousand fix it fics for her. Love her to bits. im gay.

Varric: I haven’t played DA2 so i don’t get why everyone wants to romance him but like. a dwarf romance? yes please. Idk he reminds me of my uncle so I only see him as fun uncle material. Deadass should adopt Cole and Merrill and co parent with Blackwall for Sera. dads? fuck yeah. love me some wholesome, present fathers.

Dorian: is a gay stereotype that I love/hate so much. and he’s also just as bad about being a creep bcc he sexualizes qunari men (in banter). I attribute that to shit writing tho. I want to protect him from all the “omg gay best friend!” people. he’d clearly be that tired gay that wouldn’t give a diddly damn about ur het romance. wanna talk about politics? he’s ur guy/gay.

Solas: “me, an intellectual:”. I don’t hate him, but I’m not about him. He comes off as mysterious and suave (which he totally is) but I deadass would not save him from himself because he’s a racist, exclusionist eggshell. idk. not my cup of tea, but I can totally see the appeal. And he’s interesting, I’ll totally say that. “I think the Dalish are garbage but they made you” is not a compliment. it’s so offensive. and such bait for “quirky girls” which I’m no fan of. Would be Achilles and let Patroclus (Lavellan in his case) die before he realized how his pride is literally a waste of time. If he gets a redemption arc I hope Lavellan gets to slap him before getting him to teach all about ancient Arlathan and show that the Evanuris weren’t all total dicknozzles. (Aka I really have a hard time believing that they’d be slavery cult things. especially since they’ve compared elves to indigenous ppl, Jews and the Romani.)

Vivienne: it’s so racist that they’d make a black woman be pro-slavery. That’s such internalized racism. She could’ve been the cool ass “educate yourself first before you speak, fool” ice lady, but NO. the devs could’ve kept the “Templars are a tool that I proudly can mandate” and the “circles are very good education” and we. Could. Have. Romanced. Her. Like. Fuck. Sake. I just wanna give her a hug and say “love yourself omg!!” and not even in a romantic way. Also: she and morrigan should not have been so antagonistic towards each other. I’d expect them to have great respect for each other, as they both moved up in the world through hardwork and very little help. They could learn different magic from each other too and still maintain that rival respect “oh you” mood. Sidenote: probably the cooler option for Divine. if her approval is high enough she’ll love and be loyal to you forever and i can’t see her agenda being bad. she improves the circles exponentially and tells all the antis to suck her pretty painted toes.

Josephine: an actual disney princess. romanced her my first playthrough. I love her so much. she just makes me so happy. And she’s like: “Integrity, Loyalty, peace. That is what it means to be a GREY WARDEN good fucking person.” she’s the person who would let you hold her hand if you got anxious and she’d be that person who shouldered the whole group project with finesse and poise and would probably lie for everyone as to not be mean. i love josie. her and leliana’s relationship is so cute, too. whether it’s romantic or not: women supporting women.

Leliana: if you leave her hardened you must hate her. why. she becomes so against herself. i like how shes feminine and lighthearted because that’s so powerful-- to remain hopeful when the world is hopeless. (its hard to know when to soften her/harden her so i get it but. google it. she deserves to be happy and sweet again.)

Cullen: uwu war criminal with shit ass “redemption arc” that was actually a half-assed (at BEST) recovery arc. Recovery isn’t linear, it isn’t pretty, and even the broken need to be told they are wrong in order to heal right. Like I’m offended by that bullshit. I’ve had to do some mental health recovery in the past and unlearning lots of toxic ideologies— which I’m still unlearning— and it bothers me that he gets an easy pass because he’s hot. It’s one thing if you like Cullen, it’s another thing if you hold him accountable.

[thegeminisage]

5 headcanons for Arthur, Merlin, Morgana, and Gwen

ANON I LOVE YOU thank u

im doing these in reverse order bc i wanna save the best 4 last

GWEN:

i think she genuinely enjoys taking care of people. it’s a role she’s forced into a lot - she takes care of her dad, elyan, morgana, uther, even merlin and arthur once in awhile, even HUNITH - but i think she’s the kind of person who finds genuine fulfillment in doing that kind of thing (she picked FLOWERS for morgana just because), and if she hadn’t been the blacksmith’s daughter she would have made a fine apprentice to gaius herself

she’s a better rider than you. and arthur. and elyan. and morgana. and everybody

we never hear word one about gwen’s mom but i like to imagine she died just before gwen and morgana met (which i’m assuming happened shortly after morgana came to camelot) - and gwen, who had just lost a mother, could easily sympathize with morgana, who had just lost a father and was somewhere new and unfamiliar - and that’s why they became such fast friends

gwen is probably a few years older than morgana - i like to think she was morgana’s maidservant from the start, but i don’t think they would have let her be a maidservant to the king’s ward at age 10, so maybe she’s 3ish years older - not so much older she strays into big sister territory, but old enough to do the job required of her

nobody among the knights/guards really knew what to make of gwen or arthur’s feelings for gwen because she’s ??? just a serving girl ??? like they didn’t dislike her exactly and they respected arthur’s choice for the most part but they also didn’t know anything about her and couldn’t see why the fuck arthur would make such a stir over her when it would be so much easier not to. this changes 100% after gwen’s shenanigans with smuggling leon out of camelot; leon comes back singing her praises like ok ok i GET HER now y’all ain’t gonna believe how she got me outta that cell and on leon’s word (and because she’s elyan’s brother and he’s a knight now too) everybody else warms up to her too

MORGANA:

this is practically canon but she’s a lesbian, obviously. gwen was the first girl she had a crush on

this isn’t a headcanon exactly but i wish bbc merlin had had a better budget because you know who deserved a black cat familiar? morgana. like, aithusa made a wonderful foil to merlin’s relationship w/ kilgarrah and i would not wish aithusa’s fate on any creature let alone some poor innocent cat, but also, the IMAGERY...it could have been so good

this is also sort of canon but i think she dresses expressively, hence the goth look after she goes evil. @dellesayah​ & i joke about her “evil girl eyeliner” in season 3 but honestly look the way the girl wears 100% black in s4 and s5 i think the eyeliner was her own private expression of her inner angry goth post-poisoning when she still had to be wearing those colorful dresses to fool everybody into thinking she was the same good girl morgana in s3

same age as arthur. idk why most fics have her being older - tho i admit her being older but still not being able to inherit the crown is a VALID source of her rage - but if she was born w/ magic is makes the most sense for her to have been born after the purge started, aka after arthur. i guess it depends on when you think uther cheated on his wife lol. but i never really thought of morgana and arthur as having like an older/younger sibling thing - to me they were more like twins, so definitely within a year of his age, whether it’s slightly older or younger depends on how you feel that day i guess

wintertime birthday. i think arthur has a summertime birthday (more on that below) so it makes her a nice balance to him in that way

MERLIN:

the Most doting son ever. i imagine he had a few difficult teenage years (being a warlock and all) and that he still gets himself into trouble out of sheer stupidity sometimes but aside from that he was probably really well-behaved for the most part just because he didn’t wanna make his mama sad

autumn birthday, since we went there with morgana (to complete the quad in Balance, gwen’s would definitely have to be in the spring)

ok i know colin morgan had to like put on a nice “proper” english accent for the show because katie mcgrath didn’t have one but in my heart merlin sounds like a HICK (whatever the ye olde englishe/modern british version of hick sounds like, he’s it) and his accent only gets worse for all the time they’re at ealdor. like arthur THOUGHT it was bad he probably picked on merlin about it all the time but he had NO IDEA how bad it gets! none! and EVERYBODY in ealdor sounds like that except somehow EVEN WORSE! gwen and morgana think it’s UTTERLY charming but arthur is SO GLAD to get back to camelot and away from all that nonsense! and so then ok when they meet balinor in s2 (who speaks like a normal human being) he listens to merlin talk for 5 minutes and IMMEDIATELY knows exactly where the fuck he’s from. #hicksrepresent

merlin SAYS and BELIEVES he understands magic should only be used for great deeds blah blah blah but when he gets overworked and short on time, yeah, that armor’s gonna be polishing itself while he works on 4 other things at once - he just gets better at not being caught. it’s a great deed to keep arthur’s armor in peak condition, right? arthur says he’s a terrible servant but actually being magically aided he winds up being like...really good at his job, once he gets into the swing of it. he’s just fucking insubordinate always 24/7

*** ****** no i will not be taking constructive criticism

ARTHUR:

he knew they lied to him in 2.08. he always knew. canon evidence supports this in 4.03 he says “i lost both my parents to magic” listen to me he ALWAYS KNEW!!!

canon also semi-supports a summertime birthday - i read somewhere once that they made it a point to only show camelot in spring thru early fall so they didn’t have to explain why there wasn’t snow on the ground. arthur’s coming of age ceremony (which i assumed either followed or preceeded his birthday) was in the middle of season 1, which would have been mid or late summer, hence: arthur is a summer baby.

i really like the gay!arthur headcanon but i also think he and gwen have incredible chemistry and i really like their relationship so like...maybe gay with one genuine exception. also that boy EMBODIES internalized homophobia :( poor lad

fond of DOGS and sometimes HORSES but refuses to show it because that’s not very manly of him. he’s too into hunting to truly be an Animal Person but since you don’t hunt dogs or horses generally he has a very very secret soft spot

the writers didnt do this on purpose but in my heart i believe the reason he was willing to risk SO much to save mordred in 1.08 was because of what he did to that druid camp from 4.10......like at first yeah he tries to be hard-hearted about it & just do his fuckin job but i think once his conscience was tripped he couldn’t stand to see a druid kid die again under his watch for no good reason. he’d’ve never agreed otherwise, not even for a kid. he wouldn’t have ratted morgana out but he wouldn’t have helped her either

(send me a character & i’ll give you 5 headcanons)

#personal #liz answers asks #ask memes #merlin blogging #bbc merlin #long post

[cs-discourse]

Breaking Down Clowns' Posts: Episode One with Mochi

let's get into a Breakdown, shall we? my interpretations are in bold :) 

I’m fucking over this mewlin bullshit. Idc what kind of hate I’m going to get over this because obviously nobody is allowed to have beliefs contrary to your own anymore. to start off, saying "idc what kind of hate i'm going to get over this" before saying something defending a terrible opinion is a bad thing to do, just sayin. you saying "because obviously nobody..." makes it seem like you're annoyed with us being upset over transphobia! that's just my interpretation, but it'd bc a shame if you were :) because our opinion is valid and mewlin's transphobic opinions are not. anyways, if the beliefs you hold could potentially harm somebody/a community, they aren't valid whatsoever. let's put it this way (thank u alcides for saying this): bigoted people vote for bigoted opinions. bigoted opinions lead to bigoted laws, and these laws will harm people's lives & affect the choices they are able to make. also, blatant transphobia is so different from a VALID opposing belief such as preferring winter over summer. transphobia kills. favorite seasons don't. But anyways. Y’all need to laY oFF. Mewlin is a person, just like you and I. She thinks, eats, and breathes. nice to know she's living-- what exactly does this have to do with the point you're trying to make? homophobes think, eat, and breathe. racists, eat, think, and breathe. i could go on! She doesn’t deserve even a fraction of this harassment. are you sure...?? not even.... 1/100th of it? god, i can't believe a transphobe would actually DESERVE harassment!! the audacity!!! you should never be harassed for holding an opinion that harms someone's life! (extreme sarcasm, if you couldn't tell!) I get it, her beliefs are upsetting to you. thank you for stating the obvious! why wouldn't we be upset with a transphobe? Obviously I don’t agree with her beliefs, I think transphobia is nasty. i mean if my friend was a transphobe i'd fucking run from them but u do u boo BUT that doesn’t make her a bad person. You hear me? YOUR BELIEFS DONT DEFINE YOU. i've had to repeat something along the lines of this statement many times but i'll say it again: if your beliefs harm other people, then that's all people will define you with. Mewlin is a sweet, kind, supportive person with some controversial beliefs. some....? controversial beliefs? transphobia isn't even controversial ur either a terrible person or ur not. I’m not saying you have to love her, you can hate her with every ounce of your being, but keep it to your damn self! if u love her, keep it to your damn self! look what you've done by posting this. you've prompted a response from myself & many others. I don’t expect trans people to be all buddy buddy with her, or even cis people. But you have no right to dehumanize her the way you’ve been. i mean..... isn't she dehumanizing trans people by saying they're invalid & wrong....... :0c When she had her moments of saying nasty things, SHE DIDN’T KNOW BETTER. When she was called out, she stopped! did she really? Doesn’t erase what she said but it doesn’t mean she had bad intentions. i distinctly remember her defending her use of the word (tw!!) tr*p so like. ok You guys are so out to get her that you don’t realize she’s a person too. A person with emotions and a life to live. when are u going to stop using the "shes a person!!!" argument... zzzzzzz How do you think she feels reading about you all calling her disgusting and telling her she has no rights to this or that or even at all? i would hope she feels regret for her transphobic actions and that's all. Mewlin is truly a sweet, generous person. She gives people things out of the kindness of her heart. She’s gifted me a kalon and some edits, not to clear her name or to prove anything, but because she wanted to. what point are you trying to prove??? this is like saying a bully is a good person bc they're nice to their friends?? Have you ever considered that maybe her pfp on discord is that pride icon jish made because she wants to express her support?? okay... and? someone who's bi (assuming she's using the bi pride one) can still be transphobic lmao. Sure, she’s had her moments, but maybe she’s getting better. if she's getting better, i'd like to personally hear from her & not one of her friends. Maybe the pride icon is her way of trying to open up a little bit, and hey, she knows I’m a genderfluid lesbian and she’s never said a word to me about it. good for u!! must be because you're friends w her. she must be desperate to hold onto the few people who manage to ignore her bigoted opinions! Grow the fuck up and learn to either keep your mouth shut or GET OVER IT. Bitching about it on this blog for months is only keeping you angry and upsetting Mewlin more. i'm pretty sure people have the right to defend their identities & like. we would stay quiet if mewlin didn't continue to clown around This is counterproductive!! Yeah, you hate her. Woohoo!! You get a gold star! omg, thank u!!!! Now move on and do something with your life that isn’t obsessing over one person who is MISERABLE because of you. She is getting nasty dms all the time that are really upsetting to her all because you guys think it’s a fun idea to harrass her more. ok i haven't DMed her so i really don't have an opinion on that but., it's not like we're 'harassing' her without being provoked?? all of this drama starts with her & her bigoted statements/actions CS is supposed to be a fun, enjoyable game for everyone. It’s supposed to be a safe space. Lay off already and let her enjoy her safe space like you all get to as well. the problem with the last statement is that we don't get to truly enjoy this 'safe space' if transphobes like her are making trans people uncomfortable, afraid, and upset so like. Ok She’s not hurting anyone! really? she's not hurting anyone? If her existence makes you THAT uncomfortable, fucking block her and go. already have, luv xx I’m over it! I’m done reading the hate she gets on here and getting dms from my upset or even terrified friend because of what people said to/about her. are u trying to get us to sympathize w a transphobe..?? im confused. Imagine if it were you. i mean. if you read the salt blog last year it Was me so uhhhhh. what's your point?? i know i fucked up but it seems like all mewlin is doing is crying despite causing Imagine if it were your friend. i'm not friends with transphobes so i can't relate! There’s this DBT skill called radical acceptance. It’s where you recognize that it is what it is. You cannot change it so rather than sitting in your misery and spreading it around, simply accept that’s what it is and keep going with your life. Try it, it actually works pretty well. Radically accept that when it comes down to it, you can’t change her. So accept how she is and move on. are u asking people to accept that someone on what's supposed to be a safe space is a transphobe...??? Okay, I’m done rambling now. I’ve said my piece, I’m ready for the hate to come pouring in 👌

with this closing statement: it's 1am and i'm tired so! this is monky brain typing. i really don't have sympathy for mewlin whatsoever so like i really don't care if she gets upset over my response bc it's nowhere near compared to what trans people have to go through so :) my final words are: fuck mewlin and anybody who likes her despite her invalid shitty opinions.

#cs discourse #submission

[gridelincarver]

Lesbians who love dicks and males are homophobic bisexuals

im fucking tired of all you goddamn transphobes. im not gonna put fuckin links and sources anymore because a) god knows yall never do and b) yall dont even LOOK AT EM. i dont even think yall read what i say, considering the fact that i keep getting messages implying that im either male or i like dick, neither of which are true (as im a biologically female enby dating another biologically female enby and theyre the only person ive dated)

so lets set this straight without fucking neuroscience and shit and its not because i dont understand the neuroscience, bc believe me i do, but because as a biomolecular science major, i know that scientific consensus changes. my college bio teacher always sajd to wait 20 years before trusting any scientific study.  i know that this shit is all still in the works.

but lets be real here we do not need fucking neuroscience to prove that people exist, because our communities have existed for fucking millenia, way before we had fucking brain scans to back it up.

lets start this with something yall clearly do understand. gay people exist. there are people who like the same gender.  its not a choice, its just something we feel. its love and its real.  for some of us we realized it really young and for some of us we realized it a lot later, but we’re all still valid.  however, there are people who claim that it’s a choice. because the thing about this is that it’s in OUR HEADS and they cannot mind read us so they can’t tell that we’re telling the truth (even though WE ARE).  homophobes claim that it is a choice for us to love our own sex/gender, and we can’t technically prove them wrong because its in our heads. the only way for them to believe us is to just BELIEVE US.  they just have to take our word for it! because let’s be real there’s no reason that somebody would go through all the pain of coming out and a smaller dating pool and harassment from family and all that awful shit just because we want to like… play a joke or some shit. we REALLY DO love the same gender and we just want to LIVE OUR LIVES and FIND LOVE and BE HAPPY.

so here’s the real thing that is happening: there are real, living, breathing human beings with feelings and thoughts and friends and emotions and a life who are saying that they feel better living as the opposite gender than what they were assigned at birth and told they needed to live as. there are over a million in the united states alone.  some of them realized this very young, and some of them realized it when they were older, but there are literally millions of them.  and there are people who will go around saying that it’s a choice and that it’s fake, because the only “proof” is BELIEVING THEM, believing US.  of course it’s easy to fucking deny it when all you have to do is say “well they’re lying.” but that’s the sAME FUCKING ARGUMENT as homophobes who are just like “oh theyre lying its a choice.”  but there’s no reason to go through years of harassment and discrimination just for… what?  trans people get disowned, fired, beaten, raped, harassed, assaulted, murdered, all just for being trans.

it comes down to the same fucking thing: BELIEVING PEOPLE about the life that is most authentic to them.

there are people who love others of the same gender. you could try to make some bullshit argument that “oh theyre lying its a CHOICE, biologically we’re all hardwired to like the opposite sex because reproduction” but that would be ignoring thousands of years of gay people and all the people now who are happier with the same sex/gender!there are people who live their lives as a different gender. you could try to make some bullshit argument that “oh they’re lying its a CHOICE, biologically we’re all hardwired to identify as this because genitalia” but that would be ignoring thousands of years of trans people and all the trans people now that are happier living as a different gender!

and if you’re going to try to argue that trans people can’t be gay, do you see now how bullshit that is?  if someone is happiest and most comfortable and most authentic living as a woman loving other women, how the fuck is that anything but just someone living their life.  shes a woman. she loves other women. if she identifies as a lesbian then its bullshit to say she’s not just because of her genitals.  you’re telling her that her experiences are fake, in the same fucking way homophobes tell US GAYS that our experiences our fake and that we’re just choosing to “sin.”  its the same thing.

fucking believe people about how they want to live and what makes them most happy and comfortable. if someone feels fucking gross being called a man then believe them and stop calling them that, just like if someone felt fucking gross being forced to date a man you’d stop making them date a man.  you wouldn’t tell them “well that’s just how it is, ok, you have to date men” so don’t fucking tell trans women “that’s just how it is you have to be a man”

it’s BULLSHIT!  lesbians are people aligned with womanhood who love others that are the same.  trans women ARE women, therefore they can be lesbians and they can be loved by lesbians!  stop telling trans lesbians that they’re just straight men, and stop telling lesbians who are dating trans women that they’re actually just “homophobic bisexuals”!

tl;dr: this ‘debate’ really just comes down to believing people about the way they want to live, the same way being gay comes down to just believing us when we say we love the same sex. telling trans people we’re faking it is just like homophobes saying we’re choosing to love the same gender. fucking stop it.

ANYWAY HAPPY PRIDE TO ALL AMAB TRANS FOLK.  TRANS LADIES, AMAB ENBIES, AND TRANS LESBIANS, I LOVE YOU ALL AND HAVE A WONDERFUL JUNE

#im so fucking TIRED #transphobia #lgbt #gridelin speaks #gridelin rants #homophobia cw #transphobia cw #answered #terfs #Anonymous

[adamsvanrhijn]

ok to clarify some posts from a few days ago:

i do not think that anyone needs to justify Why they want a character to be something, where “something” is like, an identity trait. like, i don’t need a reason for wanting combeferre to be the era-equivalent of a gay man (this phrasing is reductive but y’all know what i mean). i can just want that and that’s fine. whether my reasoning is “because i am a lesbian and like to write fanfic about gay people” or “because i think him and enjolras having unresolved sexual tension is incredibly hot” or “because he just gives off a gay vibe idk” it wouldn’t like, matter, at all. 

again. anyone reading/writing this post is well within their rights to think that combeferre is gay, or that enjolras and cosette are long lost siblings, or that grantaire has four serious and expensive medical conditions that the amis must raise money for, is both salty and bisexual, and that he was a soldier in the war of 1812 and an insurgent in soviet russia and has deep and accurate knowledge of the israeli-palestinian conflict and that this is why he is opposed to devoting any energy to political action whatsoever or whatever the fuck is trendy nowadays. i don’t care why you want that, or necessarily understand why, but like, want all you want. i’m not taking that away or telling you that you cannot want that.

but when i CREATE FANWORK, and include my desires and realize them as headcanons and/or plot elements in my fanwork, i feel that it needs to be a justifiable choice within the work for the work to be good. my instinct is to say that a fic where grantaire was all of the above things would not work very well or be very good because it doesn’t make any sense. like, for one thing, france has socialized healthcare and one of the best cancer treatment systems in the world, so why would the amis need to raise money for his leukaemia where his symptoms are exactly the same as in jodi picoult’s 2004 drama novel my sister’s keeper, ET CETERA.

anyway, to be less bitchy:

if Combeferre canonically was said to be looking at women and judging them on their aesthetic value and desiring to include them in his collection [of mistresses] then it would take a lot more work and in-story character work for me to believably write him as a gay man. if he had had that canonical characterization, i would maybe want to write about combeferre using heterosexual posturing as a mask for his deepest, most intimately emotional but also sexual love, which is for his best friend enjolras*, or at least like, reference his past as a person who interacted with women in a manner implying sexual contact.

Combeferre is not those things, canonically; but he does have some other opinions on women that he gets a whole monologue about, so in some cases it could be appropriate for me to look at how he would relate to women. on a different note, being a man who loved other men and had sex with them in this particular time period was a whole clusterfuck of an experience that i’m not doing justice if i don’t take it seriously and try to write him as a person in the les misérables time period rather than just take what people expect a gay man to look like and throw those character traits at him willy-nilly.

i also have to use my knowledge of human beings and the brick to write a combeferre that is believably a man who loves and has sex with other men. this means incorporating this where relevant into dialogue and exposition and potentially plot elements, and looking at his choices in the context of the story, and seeing how they line up with his choices in the brick (because fanfic!) and where they’re congruent, where they need work, and then just, to have a believable story at all, looking at the time and place and environment of my story and how complex it is! like, examining, where i need to describe things that would not be obvious to a modern audience, and where i need to flesh out character traits or perhaps use another character to highlight something that the pov character won’t, where i need to learn more about the average medical school sexy possibly-republican-but-you-don’t-know-yet-because-that’s-not-a-first-date-question dissection partner’s knowledge of light polarization circa 1829 in victor hugo’s fictionalization of paris, france

anyway i meant for this post to be like two paragraphs max. wish i could overshoot like this with fanfic. so, to recap, you can totally think that enjolras bleaches and dyes his naturally dark hair blonde and doesn’t own a clothing item in a color other than red, or that enjolras wants to be tied up upside-down with lace ribbons by grantaire who is wearing a chastity belt, or that courfeyrac is a flamboyant gay man with a glitter-covered apartment who doesn’t know what a clitoris is, for whatever reasons you have that i probably won’t understand, but for the love of god if you’re gonna write fic about those things either own that it’s self-indulgent and potentially out of character, or make me believe that the characters are behaving in these ways for reasons that align with their reasoning and motives in canon, because otherwise they’re.... not... recognizably the characters from canon and possibly your piece just isn’t very well written.

#*i have never seen a gay courfeyrac fic like this and something tells me i never will #*i'm not going to write it because my courfeyrac is straight myself

[cassidycollective]

♣☾●☑ [hermann, raz, honora, rory, ellis, rob]

♣: Any headcanons about your muse? ok so i have so many for all of em so im only givin 3 fjbvnfkmlvHermann:  •He has a tendency to overwork himself/has bad self care habits •He has obsessive compulsive disorder and sensory processing disorder!  •His dad is an ass and he doesn’t have a very good relationship with him but he does have a good relationship with his siblings (and vanessa and karla r lesbians)Raziel:  •The only member of his family he still regularly associates with is his baby brother, Micah!  •His dad was/is really religious (he’s jewish!) and Raz respects that and his roots even though hes not, particularly religious/practicing himself  •He has dermatillomania associated with his ocd, hes got it a bit under control now but he still has bad spells, especially when hes really nervous or messed upHonora:  •She was a hero on her home planet before going to earth with captain!  •Her hero name on Earth was Sugar Rush!  •On that note, she has a total sweet tooth and loves baked goods n candies! Rory:  •She genuinely thinks of herself (and by extension boss) as the peak of absolute beauty  •She went through numerous looks before settling on the cowboy look, knowing it would likely annoy her counterpart the worst but still be attractive  •She picks fights with boss sometimes on purpose bc she thinks shes hot when shes mad   Ellis:  •He’s bi and has known it for ages, he doesn’t really hide it but he also doesn’t speak out about it too much…  •His mom was a hairdresser and had her own shop before they left his shitty dad! even after tht she still cut ellis’s hair! even after he moved out fjvnfk  •He viewed Keith as a best friend but also a very hectic father figure bc keith was a good few years older than him, and keith may have done some dumbass shit but always told ellis not to do as he did and took the brunt of any actual harm  Rob:   •He is gay!  •He deals with ptsd from the whole Clover thing, as well as a physical disability resulting from injuries sustained during the whole attack  •Obvi my portrayal is canon divergent, in that he lived, and hudson did as well! i see it as beth was dead when they got there from the spike through her abdomen, so from there they left and there helicopter was still crashed but they made it out. Lily still escaped before them! and ye!

☾: Favorite moment from your Muse’s canon, and why. (If your Muse is an OC, then favorite aspect of their story.) Hermann: his lil grin when he says ‘do i really have a choice?’ to newton or when hes trying to figure out the handshake sorta thing and says ‘by jove we are going to own this thing for sure!’Raziel: When he stops being a stupid idiot and actually realizes how much he loves Sage and they get to be happy together and try to help each other grow and get better??? good shit!Honora: Any moments she has with Cap…. Espec when they met because she was so inspired by her and immediately infatuated fjvnfRory: None shes goblin (I’m kidding fjcnkc i really like that she differentiated herself from boss in her own ways and the fact she chose to be a cowboy is endlessly funny to me i love it so much fjvk)Ellis: The fact hes a special infect magnet fjvnfkml, the fact tht he apparently sometimes hops onto coaches back so coach occasionally thinks jockeys r ellis fjvnkmf, or mayb the fact he planned to get a tattoo of his truck on his other arm but the apocalypse fucked up his truck so he thinks mayb eventually of getting one of jimmy gibbs jr.s stock car insteadRob: When hes at the party and hud asks what he’s gonna do without rob around and he says ‘i dont know, im like your main dude’ and hud just says ‘straight up’ ?? yeah thats good content

●: If you could say just one thing to your Muse, what would it be? Hermann: You are capable of being loved, it’s ok. No one is lying about how they feel for you.Raziel: Please, please stop being such a dumbass. He doesn’t love you, and he never will. Honora: You didn’t fail by getting killed, that’s all on boss. You’re still very capable and helpful.Rory: Stop.Ellis: Keep that hope and optimism, it’s an endless gift to have.Rob: You are safe now, this isn’t temporary. You will get to be happy.

☑: An OTP with your Muse in it (if you have any).Hermann: Hermann and newt ofc because gay rights Raziel: Raz and Sage, bc its the only healthy ship he has and its ultimate gay rights!!Honora: honora n cap!!! bc theyre literally married and yet again, gay rightsRory: her and her own ego, and ig her and boss jfnvkmf theyre perfect for each other because theyre both literally the worst! and cant feel love!Ellis: ellis and nick bc im a simple man and its good soft gay rightsRob: rob and hud…. gay rights

#charliecrew #headcanons || 𝒸𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓉𝒾𝓋𝑒 𝓁𝒾𝒸𝑒𝓃𝓈𝑒 #asks || 𝒾𝓃𝓉𝑒𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒾𝓃𝓆𝓊𝒾𝓇𝑒𝓈 #long post / #Hermann || 𝓇𝑜𝒷𝑜𝓉 𝑒𝓃𝓉𝒽𝓊𝓈𝒾𝒶𝓈𝓉 #raziel || 𝓂𝓇. 𝒹𝑜𝒸𝓉𝑜𝓇 𝓂𝒶𝓃 𝓆𝓊𝑒𝓈𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈 𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒽𝒶𝓃𝒹𝓈 #Honora || 𝒿𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝒶 𝑔𝒽𝑜𝓈𝓉 𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝑜𝒻 𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝑔𝓇𝒶𝓋𝑒... #Rory || 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒹𝑒𝓋𝒾𝓁'𝓈 𝑔𝑜𝓉 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝑜𝓃 𝓂𝑒! #Ellis || 𝒷𝒶𝒹𝒶𝓈𝓈 𝓏𝑜𝓂𝒷𝒾𝑒-𝓀𝒾𝓁𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓂𝒶𝒸𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑒! #Rob || 𝓈𝓁𝓊𝓈𝒽𝑜™