#like. idk. i know you don't fucking care i know you just want to look cool.

[cluescorner]

Arlecchino's whole deal is unbelievable

Arlecchino: Huh I wonder what's causing my weird powers? I can't really worry about that right now tho, I've gotta become King and then kill my "Mother".

*Kills Clervie and "Mother"*

Arlecchino: Huh I wonder why I was able to defeat a Fatui Harbinger when I'm like 17 or so? I can't really worry about that right now tho, I've gotta be in jail and become a Harbinger.

*Is in jail for a while and becomes a Harbinger*

Arlecchino: Huh I wonder why I am-

Pierro: Hey what's up hello, anyways you're descended from the Crimson Moon Dynasty of Khaenri'ah. I'm sure that this is a lot for you to take in so-

Arlecchino: Ok.

Pierro: ...You're just cool with that?

Arlecchino: IDK maybe? I can't really worry about that at the moment, I'm a father now. This orphanage full of children I love (who also are child soldiers and are not allowed to leave or else I'll execute them except maybe now I'm just gonna wipe their memories IDK I'm morally complex) isn't gonna run itself.

*Runs the orphanage/spy recruitment initiative*

Me, the fucking player: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE KHAENRI'AN? WHY WASN'T THIS BROUGHT UP IN YOUR FUCKING QUEST?? OR ANYTHING ELSE????

Arlecchino, talking to me through my phone: I honestly don't know why you care, I'm too busy to give a shit. Anyways, I'm gonna go fight fate itself I guess. I'm sure that I don't share any thematic parallels with any other Khaenri'an characters (particularly as it relates to acting and family angst) and that I haven't made the idea of 'curses' on Khaenri'ans and what they entail even more complicated than they already were. See ya.

#arlecchino #genshin impact #pierro #WHY IS THE GAME FUCKING GLOSSING OVER THE FACT THAT SHE IS KHAENRI'AN?! #Not only that but she is the first Khaenri'an we've met (that we know of) who's from the Crimson Moon Dynasty #I'm so fucking confused #Did Celestia place a DIFFERENT curse on members of the Crimson Moon Dynasty?? Or is this stuff all of them can do??? #HELP #She also seems almost...uninterested in the fact that she's descended from Khaenri'ah. Which honestly I think is interesting. #I don't know if I like it yet but when every other Khaenri'ah character has one of their major traits being that they super fucking #care that they are Khaenri'an (whether that be Kaeya with his paranoia/destiny/duty or Dain with his guilt over his failure/desire to #prevent our sibling from fucking with anything too much or whatever the fuck is going on with Pierro) #having a character who is Khaenri'an but doesn't seem to particularly be invested in that part of themself is different #she cares more about the curse and its effects on her then she ever really cares about the Crimson Moon Dynasty or the cataclysm #IDK I think it's neat from a character writing angle. or at least it has the potential to be if the writers do a good job. #But from a 'I like maybe 3 things in this game and one of them is Khaenri'ah' perspective it SUCKSSSSS #That part of the plot is already suffering from chronic live-service storytelling disease where people just straight up don't tell you #shit that they logically SHOULD BE TELLING YOU because the game needs to save plot points to build hype around #so for one of like 4-ish (depending on how much we count Albedo) Khaenri'an major characters to give us literally 1 and 1/2 voicelines #kinda sucks ngl. but again it's also interesting and realistic for Arlecchino and from that angle I like it #she doesn't care about what fate says her place in the world is. she's gonna carve her own and being Khaenri'an isn't relevant to #the life and identity she has built for herself. she isn't the type to look for answers she doesn't need. she's practical and efficient. #at the very least it's better than when Albedo 'I want to find all the world's truths' Kreideprinz doesn't let the audience in on his stuff

[teddybeartoji]

this could work for bf! satoru or snow leopard! satoru but i feel like he'd be REALLY into omorashi... stay with me here.

idk how he discovered that he was into it but GREAT GOD ALMIGHTY 😫

just imagining him curled up into you quivering out of desperation. you have a steady hand on him (conveniently placed where his bladder is) to hold him in place. poor thing has tears in his eyes, just begging you to let him go already (but we both know he doesn't mean it)

satoru has never looked more gorgeous to you

he's more than capable of overpowering you to leave and properly relieve himself, but god, does it feel good to be at your mercy (or rather lack of )

his desperation just gets worse the closer he gets. he just NEEDS to relieve himself somehow, so he proceeds to beg you to have your mouth on his. this time around, you decide to be a little nice and listen to his pleas. and god he just melts.

It's so damn messy, but neither of you can get enough of it. satoru is drooling everywhere and moaning into it. idk how, but he managed to sound even cuter than before.

neither of you care to pull back for air, and the lack of it gets to satoru's head as he feels a wave of warm and pure bliss wash over him.

or maybe it was something else........

YEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GRAY I NEED TO KISS YOU SUPER ULTRA SLOPPY STYLE HOLY FUCKKKK I'M GONNA GO WITH OUR LITTLE LEOPARD AGAIN BC FUCCCKKKKKKKKKK IT'S SO FUCKING HOTT

18+ mdni; snow leopard!gojo x gn!reader + piss kink

sitting on his big thighs, you jerk him off with your one hand while the other presses down on his bladder. he squirming, his hips can't stay still underneath you and he just looks so pretty like this. he throws his arm over his face in desperation and your heart swells at the sight of his exposed neck. purple and red marks litter his marble skin - they look like they belong there. he's whimpering and mewling like the baby that he is and he loves it so fucking much.

"need to go. i really– need to go." you can hear the pout and it makes you want to push him even further. the tip of his cock is so fucking pink and swollen, pre-cum leaks from the slit and your mouth salivates at the thought of taking him down your throat. his tail thumps and swings in the air from all of the excitement and his fuzzy little ears twitch uncontrollably.

"yeah?"

you sound so mean and he fucking loves it. you're not concerned abt him – no, no fucking way. you want to push him further and further. you want to break him. you swipe at his leaking slit with your thumb and watch his fangs sink down into his plump lower lip. his hips lift a mere inch from the bed but you push him back down with ease.

the leopard peeks from under his arm, his teary eyes observe you as you punish and torture him with a toothy, proud grin. the slick sounds from your hand steadily pumping him fill the room alongside with the mewls that keep bubbling up his throat.

the pressure in his stomach keeps getting stronger and stronger and he knows he really can't hold it in any longer. his slender fingers wrap around your wrist, gently pulling at you to get your attention.

"please– fuck. i can't– i can't hold it, i'm sorry." oh, his eyes are so beautiful like this. his flushed cheeks are stained from the tears that have already spilled from the corners of his eyes and his lips wobble so desperately.

"don't be sorry, baby. just go."

he can't tell whether you're joking or not, but he's getting so fucking close that he really doesn't have the time to figure you out either. you tighten your fingers around him and shimmy yourself down his legs, bending yourself closer to his cock. never taking your hand from his lower stomach, you slowly but surely add even more pressure on his bladder to finally convince, to force, him to let go.

his fingers dig into your wrist but he doesn't push or pull – he's making sure that you won't take your hand off of him. his eyes are even wider now, his curiosity is eating him alive. what do you mean by 'just go'? he watches your smile stretch even wider, even further, as you rest your head on his thigh. your breath fans his dick and he shudders at the sensation. fuck, he really can't hold it anymore.

tears spill from his lashlines, his pretty angel eyes, and you press a kiss to his base. you feel him twitch in your hand, you feel his tail whip at your back. he can't control it. he's about to burst.

more pressure. his eyes roll back into his head and his ears twitch again. you squeeze his tip and kiss down his sensitive balls.

"i— "

he has never sounded this broken. his breath hitches in his throat and his nails are beginning to leave little dents in your skin. his other hand finds your cheeks, but it doesn't stay there. his fingers push through your hair until they stop at the back of your head, pushing you closer into him. your nose brushes at his soft skin and fuck – he feels you smile against his balls. he can't do it, he can't do it, he can't do it.

"give it to me, angel."

his eyes finds yours just as your lips part and wrap around his swollen tip. he can't look away. his balls contract as he stares at you. his face is red as a tomato and he's panting as if he's about to fucking die.

he is about to die. your mouth is so warm around him, your tongue is so wet and this whole situation is just too fucking much. you lower your head and bury him deeper inside your throat. saliva drips from the corners of your mouth and his hips buck up, making you gag on him so deliciously.

when you try to pull away, the hand resting on the back of your head stops you. humming around him, he bucks his hips again. his head lolls back onto the pillow and his back arches – he looks gorgeous. pressing further down on his tummy, you prepare for what's coming.

his tail thumps fervently beside you and his whole body twitches. a broken moan spills from his lips and warm liquid fills your mouth and throat. tears form in the corners of your eyes from the suffocating feeling but you surpress the need to pull away. you want him to feel good. he's your baby after all.

you press down on his tummy a little more, intent on getting every drop out of him. he feels so good, it feels like heaven. you feel like heaven, your mouth. the sight of you only makes him more insane – your own tears, the spit and piss trickling from your lips. your eyes. they twinkle up at him, so determined, so focused on taking care of him.

you gag again and tap on his thigh to let him know that you need air and he immediately removes his hand but keeps it on your cheek as you pull off of him with a loud gasp. piss dribbles down your chin and neck and satoru thinks he's going to pass out. you take a deep breath in but waste no time diving back in. he caresses your soft skin as you wrap your lips around him once more, letting your mouth fill with the liquid again.

he's so fucking in love with you.

everything is so messy. piss soaks the bedsheets below him and spit coats his heavy balls. a bead of sweat rolls from his temple and his hands shake. his fuzzy tail wraps around your middle as you drink him up like he's the only thing that could satiate your thirst. taking your hand off his tummy, you bring it down to his balls. you massage and fondle them only to watch your big cat sink even deeper into the bed. your smile widens as you kiss his tip and the underside of it, making him curse under his breath.

"you're so cute, baby."

your purred out words immediately go to his lower stomach; another kind of pressure builds and grows – the knot tightens with every kiss and every lick and every touch and every breath. he whimpers at you, his eyes big and glassy. his lips are parted and you catch sight of his sharp fangs.

wrapping your hand around his cock again, his whole body jolts and you tease him with a laugh. you squeeze at his base and tongue his sensitive slit – you know he can give you more. you take the tip back into your mouth and take him down your throat while jerking him off at the same time. all it takes is a steady pace and a tight grip and your mouth is being filled again. thick and sticky cum floods your throat and you swallow as much as you can; some of it still escapes your soft lips though – a mixture of spit and cum and piss coates your lower face and satoru thinks you look beautiful. moans fall from his lips like a waterfall, he's not even trying to hold back. it's not like you want him to do that anyway. you're just as greedy as he is.

you give him a smile and then he's already pushing himself up from his position and pressing his lips against yours. he can taste everything and he can't help but moan into your mouth. you pump him lazily as you let him suck on your tongue like a good boy. he paws at your skin and you know he's hungry.

he's fucked out and he's exhausted but he'd be nothing if he didn't take care of his baby the way you take care of him. it's your turn now; you let him mark you with his scent and taste and he can't wait to let you do the same to him.

#HEHEHEHEHHEHEHHEEEE #HELLOOOOO #THIS WAS FUN #first time writing smth like this though so beware yk #gimme feedbackkkkkk #are we into this #be serious #i know we are #angel boy #btw can u tell i am bad at endings hehe laughing through the pain #snow leopard!gojo #gojo #gojo smut #jjk gojo #gojo drabble #wtf mickey can write #jjk smut #gojo x reader #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru smut #tw piss #tw hybrids #tw piss kink

[our-genderfluid-experience]

hey

Tw: toxic perceptions ig

So i've been figuring my gender out lately and it's a soup, to put it that way

I mostly feel neutral, usually, like I don't think of myself as anything.

But then the way others perceive me shows up (im afab) and ohhh holy crap

I have a rather androgynous presentation and... yeah people get judgy( 'come on you're a girl!! Act like it!') And thats when I realise: no im not a girl

But there are also days when i dont care and just go "yeah i could"

And then there are days when I snap, hearing that.

And then there's also genderfuck culture and me loving to play around with my presentation and sometimes I just dunno anymore

I want to be able to show up like a freaking masc vagabond one day, all overshirts and layers and cargo loose jeans and stubble

Then I want a nice tight classy red dress and makeup and roses and dancing and stuff

The problem here might be with gender roles i learned/ i could be nonconforming cis and thats it

It's so confusing idk anymore

Identity basis: im fucked up I dunno

Now, ik this is messy and im sorry if it's triggering and I didn't mark it correctly

But opinions?

Also some fashion tips plssss

Tyssm

I feel you match the label genderfluid pretty well, but if that doesn't feel comfortable to you, my look into genderflux, or identities along that nature.

Some fashion tips: Sports bras if you can't get binders. I only recommend wearing two at once if you're going to wear more than one, but they make your chest look smaller. Also BAGGY SHIRTS. Baggy shirts are your best friend for chest dysphoria. You can also look up some makeup tutorials to look more masculine if you do makeup. I don't really get bottom dysphoria, so I don't know how to help there, but I hope the rest of the post was helpful

#our genderfluid experience #asks #genderfluid #thanks for the ask! #send asks #lgbtq

[gregoftom]

pretty sure i’ve seen romance movies with scenes like this

#tomgreg #where do i even start with t his horseshit okay here we fucking go. #so tom's first instinct is to go to greg when he's on shaky ground with shiv. the only way he feels safe is to have GREG with him. #who tf would want greg as an attack dog??!?!? lets be fucking real. when he says that i think he means just a dog. just someone loyal. #who loves him and won't dick him around. i think he's pretty tired of it by now. #he wants an alliance with like. ok in this show who would you pick to ally with. i love greg but he's abso useless in terms of skills that #would keep you safe. if anything TOM would keep HIM safe. in fact tom himself says who else has taken care of you. literally spells it out. #he even says greg is a joke; will fail; will fuck up; so what use does he have for tom other than companionship. other than love? #a dog might do tricks for you but your main reason for getting one is usually love. right? at least it should be. it would be in tom's case. #and don't even fucking get me STARTED on ''do you wanna come with me? ...sporus?" like girl. #you know what you told him about nero and sporus right. and now you're saying to him; yeah i was talking about you. #you and me. you're my favourite and i wasn't joking when i said i'd marry you. #the whole while tom is asking greg to be his attack dog his fuckin. eyes and expression we get it you're in love with him. like it's ridic. #and all this coming with phrasing it sounds like they're fucking ELOPING. I HATE IT!!!!!! SHUT UP! stop saying that fucking shit god. god #they are so annoying. anyway #the way tom's voice breaks as he says he has things to do [what things. will i find out later.] and the deal and!! #what am i gonna do with a soul anyways... i have you what do i need it for. and as that paragraph said somewhere. he castrates his soul. #then they giggle and are fucking annoying and greg'S HANDS LOOK LIK EHE'S ABOUT TO IDK. HUG TOM? AROUND THE MIDDLE MAYBE #or do something else. and then they just hug instead and i fucking. ugh. i've had enough tbh good fucking bye

[kabutone]

after the years of people jumping on activism like its a trend and then leaving it behind after a few weeks i am so fucking tired. like not to be cynical but like i see SO many people talking about palestine and saving lives but like be so fucking real are you gonna forget all about this in a few months? like how ppl ditched BLM after it gained traction in 2020? like how so fucking MANY OF YOU have stopped wearing a mask despite the pandemic still happening? you could be saving lives right in your own town instead of posting tiktoks that might not even help

i'm not saying you need to dedicate your lives to activism forever and ever but you do need to at least change Something to make yourself and the world better. i will always be listening to black voices, jewish voices, disabled voices, any groups that need to be heard, and trying to change my behavior for the better. like idk after seeing this happen time and time again a LOT of this shit seems so so fake. like there's so many bad things in the world and i know you cannot dedicate your all to every single problem ever forever and i don't want people spreading themselves too thin or burning themselves out but like please don't just stop giving a shit when it's not "popular" or getting you views or pats on the back anymore.

#i keep seeing SO many tiktoks that are like 'it is not that hard to use the filter. there are people dying. you are a bad person etc etc' #and like ok yeah. using a tiktok filter is probably the bare minimum YOU will do before patting yourself on the back and forgetting about i #do you wear a mask? real question. if you're posting that shit trying to guilt people into using a filter answer me. #bc wearing a mask is ALSO the bare minimum to fucking SAVE LIVES. will you do that? #like. idk. i know you don't fucking care i know you just want to look cool. #do you fucking care if people die? or do you just want attention on tiktok. be so fucking real with me. #i can GUARANTEE you that you not wearing a mask harms more people than you not using the stupid fucking tiktok filter. #i can guarantee you that someone that wears a mask is still ten million times better than someone that just used that tiktok filter #if you wanna feel like a hero so fucking bad wear a mask. you will legitimately be protecting and saving people if you do. #also i hate to break it to you but honestly. theres not a lot that normal people can do in this situation. #theres still things you CAN do but there isnt a lot of options #so if you want to save lives so bad!! a well fitted respirator mask if the easiest way to do it right now. #its so frustrating to see people be like EVERYONE! DO THIS THING THAT HAS LITTLE TO NO EFFECT TO SAVE LIVES!!! #AND ALSO IGNORE THE THINGS THAT HAVE A VERY HIGH CHANCE TO SAVE LIVES!!!!!! fuccckkkk you for real. #oh also one more thing. ive seen some people use palestine as an excuse to be antisemitic. dont do that shit either.

[musical-chick-13]

...People DO realize they can ship two male characters WITHOUT diminishing the importance of the women in the story to both the overall narrative and the male characters themselves, right. RIGHT.

#I mean. tbh I think the answer in a lot of cases is 'no' but I promise it's possible #like again. I'm not asking people to like. idk never care about male characters or something? #I'm just asking people to evaluate in which contexts they view women (fictional AND real) as disposable and insignificant and inferior #and to recognize that misogyny doesn't always look like 'I hate women as a group of people and want them all to die' #misogyny in fandom #also. te__s this post isn't for you trans women are women #(can't BELIEVE I have to fucking clarify that every time but unfortunately people don't know how to act)

[maddy-ferguson]

fun fact about me: i'm insecure about so many random things that i've never flipped anyone off in my 22 years of life because i think my middle finger looks awkward and ugly by itself

#and like i say: brf slt #i felt like this especially when i would have been likely to do it semi-regularly like in middle school. but like i was thinking about this #the other day and i did it in front of a mirror just to check and it looked as bad as i remember like it's just not for me #i have a story abour middle fingers though or just about what one would call the finger #when i was in what an american would call the 5th grade (i can never do when i was x years old because it's not an accurate representation #of the class i was in since i skipped a grade and the grade is what matters more to me. when i was 9 and my friends were 10 i was saying) #we would always play this game called girls catch guys or guys catch girls where the girls would run after the guys and like tap them on #the shoulder and then they would go to prison and they would line up and another guy could set them free by like touching one of the #prisoners it was a very fun game except it's way more fun to be like the ones getting caught than to be the ones catching and we would #ALWAYS play girls catching guys and it was very unfair we would be like okay in the morning we do guys catching girls in the afternoon #girls catching guys so it's fair like normal system but the guys NEVER wanted to do it (and we would always give in because like we still #wanted to play ig and idk guys. female socialization) they never wanted to be the ones doing the catching it was so unfair because we also #didn't like it as much and we did it all the time? #and i remember this one morning we were fighting about this we had literally all agreed that it was fair this way but they didn't want to #do it and my second best male friend flipped me and my best (female) friend off and (very #important detail) he did it with both of his hands so like two middle fingers and i don't know why because i'm not even sure that that's a #thing but one middle finger meant fuck you and two middle fingers meant go fuck yourself and to us that was very different? and i remember #my friend and i we like knew what it meant but for some reason we were like. he did do the one finger before doing the two does this mean #he...loves us because it literally means he wants to have sex with us #but what's funny is we never talked to him again after that and i don't even know why that was our last straw because i remember i #genuinely liked him before that like i said he was my second best male friend! so like maybe sixth best friend overall that's not bad #and he's not the only guy friend who flipped us off that year like it was so random to stop talking to him after that😭 #like he was an actual enemy we really did not like him we talked about him in letters we'd give each other using a nickname etc #and what's even funnier is in our last year of middle schoold FOUR YEARS AFTER THIS a friend of a friend told him he should become friends #with well my friend and he was like hm i don't think so have you seen who she hangs out with? marianne *last name* like why do YOU hate #me😭 it was so funny like wdym it was mutual this whole time. i had literally moved on by then i didn't even care about hating him #anymore like wow...i think he's the only person i hated who actually hated me back

[zoekrystall]

Did that fav pkmn thing on a whim and I'm sorry for all my babies I didn't choose bc I really like too many by some.

Love how it's mostly pretty ones and then there's clodsire. Even tho I got it in my team since the beginning of violet do I continuously forget its name bc I just call it by the nickname blobby (one of the rare times I didn't spend hours googling the perfect nickname but it nonetheless is a perfect one)

And for fun without any legendaries as fav

Reg nicknames I even write all down so I only spend decades once for each pkmn (unless I don't like the prev one anymore). Need to update that someday since it's mostly old revolution ones but hey. Blaze do I use for arcanine nowadays more and ninetails got others. Gardevoir got soteria nowadays which I prefer more. Etc.

#a wild lux appears #(made this in december but for whatev reason left it in drafts until now. prob bc I wanted to limit non important posting idk) #Maybe you think garchomp is there bc of other reasons but I use it since dpp bc cynthia made kid me go 'woah!' #I remember having looked up as a kid to cynthia and juniper a lot and that fact n reason behind it makes me also go yeah no I was a girl wh #one day decided to be happier otherwise. Bc the reason was 'oh wow female and cool so I can indeed be that :0' most importantly with junipe #bc I never cared for battles. ye ye ignore fictional professions I was like 8. reason I loath alola tbh I missed doing non battle side stuf #I vividly remember picking my first pkmn game up (hg) and just immediately going fuck being a trainer let me be a prof and it's so funny ho #my horrendous sieve brain has that laser ingrained. Sometimes still brainstorm and I would prob study ghost pkmn tbh who by sheer luck isn' #dead yet. That and maybe being v charismatic to that type idk. Why bc I like those lil fellas. #What I also find extremely funny is having went by sonia prior to swordshield and there being a prof sonia. Wish I still went by it when it #dropped. Imagine. Kid sonia wanting to be a prof and meeting swsh sonia being on her way to be one. I either would've made her my #personality (which I think I nonetheless did I think I changed my icons to her) or would've wildly shaking her going 'it should have been #meeee'. which ig I mentally do by every rival or friend group person that takes that route like take me w you I hate battles please. Insane #that only blueberry academy me start to hate em slightly less. After over a decade of battles. Ig alpharad's n others streams w nuzlockes n #all started to also show me the appeal of actually strategizing instead of brute forcing which I did. #*that only blueberry academy MADE me #Whatev. Also no I don't got anything else that another pkmn would kickstart talking abt. Just know I drag my 2013 xerneas everywhere w me #and it is a fucking crime that I can't throw it into violet. What is this. You clearly don't mind throwing others into regions they don't #belong to at all (which I personally really dislike hc lore wise but gameplay wise whatever let new trainers catch old legendaries) #To come back to fav pkmn yes I'm in the dragonair boat. I hate evolving mine. Dragonite is fine I like it standalone but I like the #aesthetic of dragonair more. Idfc abt logic or whatever this is aesthetic talk. Yes I prefer some fan evos more. #I keep wanting to play that fusion fangame and if you want to know what pkmn I like I found out I have a huge overlap w alpharad there #Which sucks for us both! We adore pkmn that get lewded the most and I hate my life. You do you idc some are humanoid I have to admit that #but I personally would prefer to not see any art or even just jokes abt ANY of that. Humanoid or not I Do Not See. #I don't block let alone report over that just. tag and don't bring that to my doorstep thx. #What I will at most block n judge is if you touch any of the kids idc in this franchise if they're just pixels. #Can you tell I am writing this close to midnight anyways this is all. This became like a completely dif post in the tags welp

[plexippusangel]

I either need to accept that I am just a way stronger person than this friend and can handle way more while still being able to engage with the world as a person, or recognize excuses as excuses, accept that I am not valued and be done or. Maybe both. Idk. It might be somewhere between the two. I am just sick of regular life stuff rendering him unable to spend any time with me, and of him being unable to bear any of the details of my life, when I would move mountains to rekindle our friendship. Though I'm starting to wonder if I still would.

#faer personal files #i just. really didn't want officiating his wedding to be our last hurrah of friendship even though i did kind of feel it coming #also i'm really sick of being infantilized for my chronic fatigue i am a grown adult and i know what i'm capable of #ugh. maybe i'm just being awful and not understanding in which case i'm too much of a rancid person to be his friend i guess #but i don't think that's the case #idk i'll never forget when i couldn't see this dude for a year even masked up outside for covid but when another of our old friends came up #from her job doing COVID RELATED CROWD CONTROL FOR THE FUCKING ARMY he went on a hike with her mask off #and i think that says a lot about what our friendship's been for years honestly. if he can't bear my company idk why i try #if i'm just an interesting prop for conversations and occasions but not a friend. i can't accept that #i am an interesting prop for conversations. the disabled genderfluid bisexual genius who lost everything bc of said disability #but i didn't lose everything i just have to fucking rebuild on new ground. and i am doing that. i whine on occasion but i am so strong #and i do know how to interact with people without traumadumping i haven't on him in YEARS but his concept of me crystalized at age 21 #or something like that i guess. idk it just breaks my heart #bc for a long time he was my person. he was the only person who knew the authentic me. more even than my sisters at times. #and yeah that was a little unhealthy but at the time he craved that!!! #and then i grew up and stopped needing him like that around the same time he stopped wanting that and it should have been fucking fine #but like. even senior year of college when i was sick it was already starting to fall apart #like i remember being on a small hike once being exhausted and jokingly being like you gotta carry me back and then being like #no really i might actually need an arm to lean on by the end of this walk if i'm gonna make it back to the car i really don't know if i can #and he said no bc he didn't want to look straight. who the fuck CARES??? i could barely walk i was stumbling my way back annoying him going #too slow. fuck. and that really has been what our friendship has been for years. the minute my house wasn't the most convenient place it wa #more or less dead idk why i keep dragging this horse around #idk why i keep letting him break my heart like this it's so stupid he's never gonna care about me like he did when i was quick and brillian #but never quite as smart as him in his view. fuck him. i'm smarter. just bc i was a little gullible or paranoid at times bc of the #FUCKING CPTSD doesn't mean i was dumber than him. the fuck??? there's something wrong with me i swear idk why i hang on #anyway i'm irritated. but i'm also reluctant to throw away somebody who's seen me through key points in my life. so.

[goldkrone-struggle-tweets]

I am an adult, I have responsibilities, I can log off at any time, it is beneath me to get involved in or vaguepost about petty fandom disagreements- sees a post ah.

#this is about the duck should get human rights thing btw if you care #duck #ahiru #meta #fandom wank #I Disagree With People On The Internet. shocking I know but that's how it is #she is happy on the lake as a duck? idk. skeptical. are you sure #she can't relate to other birds and sees them as simple creatures as a human with more complex desires #she just has fakir and that's not enough she can't live like that she deserves more than that #and who are you to accuse me of “not knowing the show is about self acceptance” #I have made multiple separate tag rants on the topic. I know about it I just disagree. we exist #I know what the show is about. I just don't think that it was written in a convincing or satisfying enough way #for me to fully agree with it #like from here it just looks like a character who is placed in an unstable and miserable situation #purely because it's what she naturally is. even though she displays few behaviors typical to that. and thinks “it sucks” #and she has to accept that because? it's not convincing and is frankly circular #if you want a narrative like that then DON'T FUCKING LAST UNICORN IT. #don't place an ant on a circuit board give it for a brief moment the capacity to comprehend the circuit board #and then tear that knowledge away and leave it an ant again and expect it to be fine with that and keep on trucking like normal because #“oh well this wasn't meant for my eyes let me just forget about it” #no!!! #pick Anything else to use as your metaphor. I'm begging you. #when your self acceptance metaphor is a textbook fucking cosmic horror story you are *doing something wrong* #and I'm saying this because I love this show #unrelated but the cosmic horror angle here is kinda interesting actually. hmm. #mysterious and transmutable

[wolf-skins]

nvm the americans in the notes going “i live in america you don’t want privatized healthcare” are normies and fine it’s the fucking americans going LISTEN HERE YOU FUCKS

americans stop pretending you’re the main characters in the story and eat my entire ass

#i want to have empathy for the story they gave but to start off like a total wanker talking down to us like ontarians haven #t been freaking out about this and talking about it over and over for years now is disgusting #we don't need you to increase the fucking font size and yell at us like we're children we fucking know we don't want goddamn privatized #healthcare jesus christ i hate looking at cdnpoli online bc americans never stop making it about them as if they're the only one #who have ever suffered from bad policy or some shit and the rest of us are dumb fools needing to be told by y'all #i Know. we all personally fucking know bc there's plenty of instances like the story in the notes having already happened here #this bill would just be another last push. he's already done so much damage and if you cared you would know exactly what and how #GOD i hate this but it's so frustrating to see americans make it about themselves as if i don't have enough trouble #every single fucking day talking to canadians about this shit. bc so many normie libs are obsessed with looking at america okay just #stop it. if we can shut up and support y'all during your political struggles by god you can try to do it for us #anyways i guess the vote offered doesn't even mean anything but idk why i thought there would be #there's actually no stopping it unless somehow ford got booted in the next day but that's not a thing #it's just capitalism lol. and fascism. bc he's already violated the charter and there's already brutality and capitalism demands more and #more. violating federal law some more to make sure the rich can devour our corpses some more is just inevitable

[gentlethorns]

fuck dude i have got to find a job where i can be self-employed and creative. i cannot be in fucking retail hell anymore

#she bork #tbd #like now i don't deal w customers which is cool but now that i work at like a big retail store and not a little mall outlet the pressure is #insane. and i have bosses who never say good job or thank you and who have set me up to fail by throwing a department on me that i was not #hired to run or trained for and frankly don't have time to run properly either. so every week just starts w me in our weekly meeting being a #fucking piñata like 'why didn't you get this done 🤨 you need to manage your time better 🤨 you're losing sales 🤨' and i'm like i'm trying!!!! #what more can i do!!!!!! and then the side of it i actually kind of enjoy (which is what i was originally hired to do) is very very hard on #my body bc it's a very physical job (i run the team that unloads the trucks every day and like i'm usually helping unload bc i'm not just #gonna stand there and watch while my team busts their asses lol) and now i'm finding out that it's actually not normal to wake up every day #w your joints screaming and stiff and that i might have a chronic condition (doctor is thinking some sort of chronic inflammatory arthritis #but i won't know if my imaging and blood tests showed anything until like mid-june) and i'm like. so even the part of my job that i don't #mind as much is not good bc it's like actively destroying my body. okay sick 🤠 and i don't wanna quit bc i've only been there for like #eight months and this job would be really valuable on a resume but i don't want it to look like i'm a job hopper or like i'm fickle or #unreliable. so i'm stuck here for a while i think. but the pressure is destroying me mentally and i know i need to find a position somewhere #else that is 1. not fucking goddamn retail bc retail will always be hell and 2. not management bc i don't see myself ever really getting #into upper management but lower/middle management gets shit on the most so if i go somewhere else and end up in middle management i'll be #right back to wanting to kill myself in a matter of months. basically i'm tired of expectations and pressure and stress and i'm tired of #waking up at fucking 2:30 every morning just to go in and get shit on and destroy my body all over something that in the end i do not fuckin #care about. i need to make art and be held accountable by only myself. idk i've been toying w the idea of learning how to tattoo and trying #to start establishing some artistic skill so maybe eventually i can do that? not now bc the economy sucks and that's scary lol and anyway i #have to give myself some time to actually learn the skill and perfect a style. but it makes decent money (at least before the expense of #supplies and taxes) and allows you to travel and still work and also it would be fun. and i could tattoo myself so it would cut some #expenses for me since i cannot stay away from the damn needle. idk lol i need to save some money before i buy a tattoo gun or anything but #i'm considering it bc i am going fucking crazy rn and ik this feeling will leave me eventually but i also know it will come back bc it #always does. and i'm tired of just surviving and just making it through every day and every week like i want to be happy and this is just #not doing it for me anymore #ugh fuck why couldn't i have been born w a brain that likes numbers and code and technology. i love being an artist but it makes finding a #sustainable career really difficult bc i feel so restless and miserable when i'm stuck in a passionless job but my passions are not #particularly profitable. hate it here why wasn't i born a capybara no job no responsibility just squint and squeak and sun

[icewindandboringhorror]

............ ultimate somng

#i'll go a few months without hearing this and then for some reason I do again and I go insane #especially the very opening first section ....hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #I like the orchestral version too but the piano one just has a different vibe in some ways #again I'm not really a big music person (in terms of listening to/being a fan of stuff. I like to make music and experiment with instruments #but like I've never been in a band fandom or or been to concert or cared about anything in a pop culture type way) I just have like #a list of some hyper specific songs with specific tones that I listen to like 400x in a row until I get tired of them and then #choose to listen to somehting else 400x in a row until I enetually circle back to one of the ones I already listened to 400x in a row #I rarely ever put music on in the backgroudn while doing things or treat it as an activity it's more of like.. a fixation or something #I go through 'music phases' where I just feel like listening to music as an ativity for a little while and then dont again for a few months #and when I do it's like the same songs 400x in a row again but gyhbhj #or sometimes cycles through a few songs or something but all on repeat #NONE of which are ever like related to each other in any way but are jus what my brain wants to hear 4998898 times for some reason #my most recent music phase rotation was - 'moses fantasy' by paganini. 'luxury' azaleia banks. the fucking charles darwin natural selection #song from horrible histories. rock the casbah??? (idk why for a few days i just wanted to hear it ghhj). the succession opening theme. #'Ludacrismas' even though it's the middle of summer. and 'I just wanna dance with you' - starpoint..lol.. ALSO for a period of #like 2 days I was mentally preoccupied with that meme edited version of that genghis khan song that instead makes it say 'mingus kingus #' or 'i get a little bit dingus bingus' or whatever hbjhbhj.. If you don't know some of those go look them up. then put them all #in a youtube playlist and put it on repeat 6000x. this will give you a tiny snapshot into one aspect of my current mental landscape. #Really want to do a kazoo cover of Moses Fantasy. literally imagine how annoying that would sound on a loud abrasive kazoo #and ALSO how probably annoying parts of it would be to try to do ghhbjb.. the super high pitched violin but desperately squeaked #through the raspy cadence of a dollar store kazoo.... this is my design #okay im listening to it again HGHBHJ the fast parts.... just *frantic squabbling into a kazoo that's not even accurate* #ANYWAY.. I don't talk about music often because like most things I am also not capable of consuming music in a Normal Way and am defintely #not a cool trendsetter or someone with GoodOpinions to share. one of my favorite songs is something I heard in a commercial when I was #7 years old and nothing has ever topped it so.. ghbjhb.. .I am dictated not by popular media or trends but by an obscure series of algorithm #s performed by tiny squirrels that live in my brain who randomly pick and choose songs to suddenly resurfance into my conscious #'Remember that thing you heard a snippet of in school music class when you were 6? find it NOW on youtube. listen 500 times. now' #'then also literally don't listen to music again for 3 entire months until the next 4 day period where you listen to one thing on repeat' #ANYWAY ANYWAY.. obsessed with this ravel song again. also still in the grips of the charles darwin one unfortunately ghbhjbhj #brain is just a mix of *dreamlike ethereal piano* NA TU RAAAL SE LEC TIOOONNN *twinkling piano again* hGGMM... yeaaAA