#lorn song of the bachelor

[zedecksiew]

DECOLONISING D&D

In 2019, after seeing yet another round of alarmist discourse in Xwitter about how Dungeons & Dragons is FULL of COLONIALIST tropes and patterns, and needs to be revised, SCRUBBED of its PROBLEMATIC FILTH---I rage-tweeted this brainfart:

"Decolonising D&D"

I've seen this thread round the community, since. Humza K quotes it in Productive Scab-picking: On Oppressive Themes in Gaming. Prismatic Wasteland quotes it in Apolitical RPGs Don't Exist. Most recently, it was referenced in a 1999AD post about Western TTRPGs (an interesting discussion on its own merit; one that already has a counterpoint from Sandro / Fail Forward.)

If folks are still referring to it five years later, maybe I should give the thread a little more credit? Perhaps the fart miasma has crystalised into something concrete.

In the interest of record / saving this thought from the ephemerality of Xwitter, here is the text in full, properly paragraphed, and somewhat more cleanly expressed:

+++

"DECOLONISING D&D"

Firstly: saying "D&D is colonialist" is similar to saying: "the English language is colonialist".

If your method of decolonising RPGs is to abandon D&D---well, some folks abandon English; they don't want to work in the language of the coloniser. More power to them!

For those who want to continue using the "language" of D&D---

Going forth into the "wild hinterland" (as if this weren't somebody's homeland);

to "seek treasure" (as if this didn't belong to anybody);

and "slay monsters" (monsters to whom?)

Yeah. There's some problematic stuff here, and definitely these aspects should make more people uncomfortable.

But! I think it is an error to "decolonise D&D" by scrubbing such content from the game.

That feels like erasure; like an unwillingness to face history / context; like a way to appease one's own settler guilt.

Do you live in the West? Do you live in any Asian urban metropole? White or Person of Colour(tm)---you are already complicit in colonialist / capitalist (yes, of course they are inextricably linked) behaviour. (I can't speak for urban metropoles elsewhere, but I bet they are similar centres of extraction.)

Removing such patterns from the TTRPGs you play might let you feel better, at your game table. But won't change what you are.

I think it is more truthful and more useful NOT to avert one's eyes from D&D's colonialism.

The fact that going forth into the hinterland to seek treasure and slay monsters is a thing, and fucking fun, tells us valuable things about the shape and psychology of colonialism. Why conquistadors in the past did it; why liberal foreign policy, corporations, and post-colonial societies do it today.

Speaking personally:

I write stuff that evokes / deals with the context I'm in---Southeast Asia. An intrinsic part of that is looking at the ways colonial violence has happened to us---as well as the ways / reasons we now, supposedly free, perpetrate it on others.

A long chain of suffering. Heavy stuff.

I also write for people who want to have fun / kill monsters / pretend to be elves, of course. But for those people who want to consider serious stuff like colonialism: I offer no FIGHT THE POWER righteousness, no good feeling, no answers.

Only discomfort. Because the truth is uncomfortable.

Here's a screenshot of the Author's Note for Lorn Song of the Bachelor:

"Any text inspired by Southeast Asia has to reckon with colonialism ... This text presents a difficult situation; there are no easy solutions. "... If I offered a mechanical incentive for you to fight colonial invaders, you wouldn’t be making a moral decision, but a mercenary one. "The choice you face should echo ... the kind of calculus my grandparents faced."

I stand by that.

Also: might we be more precise and more careful about using the term "decolonising", please?

Here I quote Tuck and Yang's landmark and (sadly) still trenchant "Decolonization is not a metaphor":

"Decolonization brings about the repatriation of Indigenous land and life; it is not a metaphor for other things we want to do to improve our societies ..."

+++

Further Reading

So this post isn't just me reheating a hot take, here are some touchstone writings from around the TTRPG community about colonialism as a subject and mode of play in games:

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"Jim Corbett was called upon to hunt down another fifty maneaters over the course of the next 35 years. Together, those tigers had killed over 2000 people, for much the same reasons as the Champawat Tiger - injury, desperation, starvation, and habitat loss. Would you look at that. The root cause was British colonialism."

D&D Doesn't Understand What Monsters Are from Throne of Salt

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"Another effect of having colonizers in my setting would be giving players the opportunity to drive them away from the islands, their home. This maybe just be for the catharsis. After all, isn’t catharsis a big part of why we play roleplaying games?"

I’m Adding Colonizers To My Setting from Goobernut's Blog

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"When you have a slime boy and the other characters are a really fat lizard and one's playing Humpty Dumpty, it completely shatters the straight-faced serious authoritarian illusion of race, and replaces it with complete fucking nonsense. I love the idea of proliferating the number and types of "races" into absurdity, to the point where the entire logical structure of it collapses in on itself and race as a category ceases to become coherent or meaningful in any sense."

Interview with Ava Islam - Designer of the RPG Errant from Ava Islam / The Lost Bay

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"Perhaps most critically, the fundamental basis of power is not land or even money but manpower. That’s what local rulers fight over, and what Chinese commercial networks export, in return for unique island products. It’s what the European colonists really need (even if it’s not what they most desire). There is rich loot to be grabbed in the form of spices, Spanish silver, Indian gold, sea cucumbers (the Chinese love ’em), perfumes, dyes, cloth etc. so there’s ample opportunity for piracy, trade and smuggling, but the key to long-term success – the key to independent survival – is nakedly and unquestionably uniting people."

Counter-colonial Heistcrawl: previous high scores from Richard's Dystopian Pokeverse

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"They worked their own land—which they dispossessed from American Indians—or became small shop owners or opportunistic gold diggers or bounty hunters or itinerant ranchers. To me, substituting these situations for one ruled by industrial monopoly ignores that the Wild West is a perfect example of how capitalism operates outside of (or prior to) mass industry, instead being composed of self-employers and self-sustainers."

Fantastic Detours - Frontier Scum from Traverse Fantasy / Bones of Contention

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"... using the Western framing and D&D's baked-in imperialist and capitalist structure to get people earnestly participating in the experience of forming imperial power structures and the early roots of regional capitalism ... The PCs aren't the drifters on the train or the townsfolk watching with apprehension - they're the railroad itself."

An Arrow for the General: Confronting D&D-as-Western in the Kalahari from A Most Majestic Fly Whisk

+++

#colonialism #theory #ttrpgs #d&d #politics #lorn song of the bachelor

[gooberpg]

Play Report: Lorn Song of the Bachelor x Mangayaw (Session 2)

The Binmanwa Party

Malakas, a shamanistic healer

Bantok, a bow hunter

Euminung-gud, an aswang (?)

Dumalapdap, a ratfolk musketeer

Alon, a textile weaver

Vartu Si Vartu

The party waited outside the Chief’s longhouse for his return, not wanting to insult him a second time. Vartu Si Vartu returns a few hours later.

Conversation with Vartu Si Vartu is sensitive business. He is a proud warrior, thinks every gesture is a challenge to his authority.

He tells the party of how he lost his left arm. The Bachelor claimed it after a great battle, one that Vartu Si Vartu lost.

If he was such a great warrior, how could he have lost to a crocodile? He wants the party to look for proof of the Bachelor’s divinity. If the Bachelor was a god, then there is no shame in his loss.

Bavu Si Bavu

The party heads back to the princess’ lover, to inform him of their mistake and that he is still loved. He bounced back from his heartbreak quickly.

They also informed him of their plan to raise his prestige by questing with them. He is delighted by the opportunity to prove Niti Si Niti wrong.

Hummu Si Hummu

Before the day ended, the party passed by Oppu Wa Oppu’s again. They are hoping see if one of her more annoying suitors was there, so they could earn their keep.

Sure enough, the village’s prestige singer, Hummu Si Hummu, was there.

Hummu Si Hummu shows off his tattoos: open maws and curling tusks. Identifies him as a singer of the village’s songs and histories. He has a tic, blinking uncontrollably. His loincloth has a weird movement to it, like something is flopping about inside it.

Alon chanted the Mentala sewed into his katana’s tassels. The words granted him a sight able to see beneath the loincloth. A ferocity weighed on his heart, but he also saw a catfish stuck to Hummu Si Hummu’s groin. Absurd.

Under the guise of concern, the party tries to uncover Hummu Si Hummu’s secret. He tried to run, but he was unable to. When his secret was uncovered, he was in panic. The catfish seemed to share his emotions.

The party sent him to Auntie Sati, hoping she would know how to remove it. They still have no idea what to make of this. Is it a parasite? A performance enhancer? A controller of the mind? A kink?

Re Wa Re’s Pepper Farm

The next morning, the party went aboard a boat, piloted by Bavu Si Bavu. They set out for the Old Ruin via the river.

They spotted a Skelephant fording the river. They let it pass.

They passed by some pepper farms along the river, spotted a group of men in Company uniform harassing an old farmer. She’s on her knees, begging.

The party decided to help diffuse the tension. As they land the boat, the situation changed. The farmer was shouting and swearing now.

A Company goon forbade the party from getting closer and the farmer bit his hand. The goons pulled out their pistols, but the party stood between the two parties.

The Company goons explained that they’re here to take Re Wa Re’s farm as payment for her gambling debt. She protested with expletives.

The party decided to be on Re Wa Re’s side on this matter. Alon loudly boasted about his swordsmanship, touting his colorfully tasseled katana as proof, both to discourage the goons and to relieve the ferocity in his heart. The goons are outnumbered and are not inclined to call Alon’s bluff.

In the middle of all this, Dumalapdap nicked a pistol from one of the goons, who was none the wiser.

The Company goons decide to leave, but not without threats of their return.

The party hired Re Wa Re to come with them to the Old Ruin. She brought a knife and some peppery jerky.

The Old Ruin

It was almost dusk when the party reached the Old Ruin. The opening to the cave was clearly not natural. It’s adorned with simian statues, posd as if diving in water.

They felt the murmur of waves, from inside. They felt a breeze, like breath.

The party felt a mixture of curiosity and a bit of fear. And with that, they entered the Old Ruin.

#rpg #ttrpg #osr #rpgsea #actual play #play report

[collabs-bunny]

I saw your recent video essay/3 hour ttrpg understanding extravaganza and just. DAMN!

You're an excellent mind to listen to discuss a topic so near and dear to my heart. I'm a ttrpg designer with a couple little games; what's your reading list for ttrpg design as a topic? what books, videos, podcasts etc have shaped how you think? because i love the way you think, and would love to know more

Well hello, thank you for my first tumblr ask of all time. 😅 Congrats on tracking this blog down, and I'm glad you liked the video.

First of all, read Luke, Jared and Snow's blogs. Just read whatever strikes your fancy (https://lukegearing.blot.im/, https://jared.blot.im, nerves.games). Snow's most recent post is actually a reading list, I livestreamed a bunch of Luke's posts, and Jared is Jared. If Jared's ideas and opinions sound declarative, that's his voice. I think he dislikes half-committing to ideas, or couching his thoughts, and he has big opinions, so they can come off uh... standoffish? Unfriendly? But he's a big softie, I love him.

For proper philosophy, read Against Procedurality by Miguel Sicart (blog post: https://gamestudies.org/1103/articles/sicart_ap), and his book "Play Matters." His ideas on appropriation and playfulness have literally changed the way I move about the world in my day-to-day. Not every chapter is a banger, but it's good. The Forms and Fluidity of Play by Thi Nguyen is also great (https://gamephilosophy.org/pcg2014/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/C.-Thi-Nguyen-2014.-The-Forms-and-Fluidity-of-Game-Play-PCG2014.pdf), as is Cybertext: Perspectives on Ergodic Literature, even if it was written in the 90's. It's very readable, which is important, but also full of excellent ideas.

I'd also recommend um... just reading a lot of adventures. There's a lot of bad ones, but I trust you to form opinions! I'm currently reading Luke Gearing's Wolves Upon The Coast and loving it for different reasons than I loved his adventure The Isle. I'm a big fan of Mothership's instant classics Dead Planet and Pound of Flesh, and I hear the Warden's Manual in the upcoming Mothership boxed set will have some good practical advice. Dread Manse by Micah Anderson was a recent read I liked a lot. I also love/hate/love Orbital Intelligence, but buyer beware: it's a weird as fuck bibliography. XD Dip a toe in as a treat, and treat all of them (including Crapland) at least a little bit seriously.

Also go watch my Zedeck Siew video and pick up a copy of whatever you think sounds coolest. Spy in the House of Eth is a good start, alongside Lorn Song of the Bachelor and of course Reach of the Roach God (which I haven't read yet, but is available at spearwitch.com). This one's a bit sad because of some recent drama, but the books are still good. Oh, and go listen to the Adventure Tourism podcast, and if my episode on Deep Carbon Observatory sounds cool, go read the original (NOT THE REMASTER).

I will say: Don't read any rulebooks for context. Vanilla Game is alright, but people (including me) have said some really Forge-y stuff about Mothership's mechanisms, DCC is huge and its spells aren't especially fun to read, Best Left Buried is... like, I don't want to say anything bad about it because I was (under)paid to edit it, but ehh.

I say that because a lot of those adventures are for """"OSR"""" games, which people say are inherently high-lethality. This is almost always parroted and twisted to be More Forge Bullshit. The rules don't matter. Most of them are D&D clones in lipstick. I recommended adventures (not rulesets) because they're easily appropriated. Just ask how you would use any piece of them at your table, or how you would change them to fit you or your table. It's a good way to play! It's an inherent part of play. I've said it a million times, but my Mothership home game is 2% Alien, 98% Cowboy Bebop, because fuck the rulebook. I don't like the stress and panic rules anymore. Sorry, Sean!

Let me know if this is coherent or helpful at all, and thanks again for the ask. :)

#ttrpg #art agency alienation

[thegaminggang]

Save Big with the Old School Gold Bundle of Holding

Bundle of Holding revealed their latest offer with a variety of OSR roleplaying and you can jump onboard the Old School Gold Bundle starting at $9.95.

#Bundle of Holding #Cinderheim #Golgotha #Lorn Song of the Bachelor #Mothership #Mothership Dead Planet #Old School Gold Bundle #Trilemma Adventures

[adamsappleappreciation]

Adam Richard Sandler (born September 9, 1966) is an American actor, comedian, and filmmaker. After becoming a Saturday Night Live cast member, he went on to star in many Hollywood films, which have combined to earn more than $2 billion at the box office.[2][3]

Sandler is best known for his comedic roles including Billy Madison (1995), Happy Gilmore (1996), The Waterboy (1998), The Wedding Singer (1998), Big Daddy (1999), Mr. Deeds (2002), 50 First Dates (2004), The Longest Yard (2005), Click (2006), Grown Ups (2010), Just Go with It (2011), Grown Ups 2 (2013), Blended (2014) and Murder Mystery (2019). He also voices Dracula in the Hotel Transylvania franchise (2012–present).

Some of Sandler's films, such as Jack and Jill (2011), have been widely panned, and Sandler is the holder of three Golden Raspberry Awards and 11 Raspberry Award nominations, more than any other actor but Sylvester Stallone. Conversely, he has earned praise for his dramatic performances in films such as Punch-Drunk Love (2002), Spanglish (2004), Reign Over Me (2007), Funny People (2009), The Meyerowitz Stories (New and Selected) (2017), and Uncut Gems (2019).[4]

Sandler was born in Brooklyn, New York, on September 9, 1966,[5] to Judith "Judy" (née Levine), a nursery school teacher, and Stanley Sandler, an electrical engineer.[5] His family is Jewish and descends from Russian Jewish immigrants on both sides.[6][7][8] Sandler grew up in Manchester, New Hampshire, after moving there at the age of six.[9] He attended Manchester Central High School. As a teen, Sandler was in BBYO, a Jewish youth group. Sandler graduated from New York University's Tisch School of the Arts in 1988.[10]

Early in his career, in 1987, Sandler played Theo Huxtable's friend, Smitty, in The Cosby Show and the Stud Boy or Trivia Delinquent in the MTV game show Remote Control. After his film debut Going Overboard in 1989, Sandler performed in comedy clubs, having first taken the stage at his brother's urging when he was 17. He was discovered by comedian Dennis Miller, who caught Sandler's act in Los Angeles and recommended him to Saturday Night Live producer Lorne Michaels. Sandler was hired as a writer for SNL in 1990 and became a featured player the following year, making a name for himself by performing amusing original songs on the show, including "The Thanksgiving Song" and "The Chanukah Song".[11] Sandler told Conan O'Brien on The Tonight Show that NBC fired him and Chris Farley from the show in 1995, and played this up in his return to the show as a host in 2019.[12][13]

In 1993, Adam Sandler appeared in the film Coneheads with Chris Farley, David Spade, Dan Aykroyd, Phil Hartman, and Jane Curtin. In 1994, he co-starred in Airheads with Brendan Fraser and Steve Buscemi. He starred in Billy Madison (1995) playing a grown man repeating grades 1–12 to earn back his father's respect and the right to inherit his father's multimillion-dollar hotel empire. The film was successful at the box office despite negative reviews. He followed this film with Bulletproof (1996), and the financially successful comedies Happy Gilmore (1996) and The Wedding Singer (1998). He was initially cast in the bachelor party–themed comedy/thriller Very Bad Things (1998) but had to back out due to his involvement in The Waterboy (1998), one of his first hits.

Although his earliest films did not receive favorable critical attention, he started to receive more positive reviews, beginning with Punch-Drunk Love in 2002. Roger Ebert's review of Punch-Drunk Love concluded that Sandler had been wasted in earlier films with poorly written scripts and characters with no development.[14] Sandler has moved outside the genre of slapstick comedy to take on more serious roles, such as the aforementioned Punch-Drunk Love, for which he was nominated for a Golden Globe, and Mike Binder's Reign Over Me (2007), a drama about a man who loses his entire family during the September 11 attacks, and then struggles to rekindle a friendship with his old college roommate (Don Cheadle).

He starred alongside friend Kevin James in the film I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (2007), and headlined You Don't Mess with the Zohan (2008). The latter film was written by Sandler, Judd Apatow, and Robert Smigel, and directed by Dennis Dugan.

#hot

[ostrichmonkey]

jaegershund replied to your post “dnd hot take: 4e is a better system than 5e, but i’d rather play 5e...”

If I can make a few suggestions - Seventh Sea (or at least the first ed.) Is perfectly optimised for people who to play swashbuckler adventures with a good 60/40 combat talk balance

yeah Seventh Sea does seem cool! i read through the core book of the second edition a year or two ago and it looked like it could be a fun time. i’d have to check out the first edition tho. 

my current sort of “engine” of choice is the forged in the dark (and also Trophy) setup - which itself is a descendant of pbta, so it has that same sort of intertwining flow between conflict and not-conflict that i find really engaging.

i wish i liked more of the osr-ish systems, since there’s some aspects of osr-style play that i think i would like (player skill + creativity > character abilities for example), but im just not sold on the raw mechanics of some of the games (particularly the more retroclone-y ones). love the adventures that get put out tho, some of the most creative modules/adventures i’ve seen tbh (like Lorn Song of the Bachelor). 

#jaegershund #also like i am literally always down for game recs ideas and suggestions #talking about ttrpgs gives me nutrients

[gonzohistory]

We’ve got a special guest on today’s episode of MONSTER MAN! RPG writer Zedeck Siew, author of Lorn Song of the Bachelor and A Thousand Thousand Islands, joins us to talk about animals as monsters, animals as settings, and the upcoming Reach of the Roach God Kickstarter. 

#dnd #rpg #rpgsea #monsters

[crowdvscritic]

round up // OCTOBER 20

Hubie Happy Halloween, friends! I’m not sure what October’s been like for you, but here’s a quick summary of my month:

Re-acquainting myself with my collection of (mostly gray and navy blue) sweaters

Ordering an embarrassing—like, I lost count kind of embarassing—number of lattés

Alternating between enjoying the ombré of the fall trees and cozying up with the first logs in the fireplace

Revisiting all-time favorite stories like The Scarlet Pimpernel by the Baroness Orczy, the extended Lord of the Rings movie trilogy, all three seasons of Stranger Things, the 1995 Pride and Prejudice miniseries, and several Harry Potter movies

In short, this month has been all about finding joy in the little things, which is the essence of our search for coziness in autumn. Since these monthly Round Ups only focus on pop culture that’s new to me, that means this month’s list is shorter than usual, but many of the movies and shows feel like warm blankets I’ll return to again. Though, as you’ll see, a few are not…

October Crowd-Pleasers

Enola Holmes (2020)

A movie so charming, I’m on the verge of rewatching even though it’s only been a few weeks. (It’s a rare occurrence for me to return to something so quickly.) It lets a stacked cast of performers known for dramatic roles flex their comedic muscles, including Henry Cavill, Sam Claflin, and—most spectacularly—Millie Bobby Brown. You can read my full review of the new Netflix movie at ZekeFilm. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10

Murder, She Wrote (1984-96)

This entry comes with a bit of an asterisk* because Kyla and I watched this murder mystery procedural in 2018 for our podcast, SO IT’S A SHOW? At the time, I was open to watching more episodes, but it was never so easy as with the launch of the Peacock streaming service. All 12 seasons are available in the free tier, and I never thought a show about murder—and in the procedural format, which I don’t typically love—could be so enjoyable. Angela Lansbury’s mystery writer/amateur detective Jessica Fletcher has become a non-ironic role model for me—I aspire to be as gracious, intelligent, humble, uncynical, and assertive. Also, who says I’m not aspiring to spending my 60s writing, traveling, and solving crimes while wearing a fabulous collection of cardigans?

The Return of SNL

When Saturday Night Live returns in the fall, I always squeak out during the premiere’s opening credits, “My friends are back!” It’s a silly thing to say about an ever-rotating group of people I’ll never meet, but when you’ve been watching Kenan Thompson do his thing for close to two decades, you can only be delighted to see him after months of absence. While the “At Home” episodes this spring were a treat I didn’t think possible, it’s even better to have my friends back at it in their usual environment with the high production value of Studio 8H. These were the skits that made me laugh the most month:

“VP Fly Debate Cold Open,” mostly for the Jeff Goldblum tribute (4602 with Bill Burr)

“New Normal” (4602)

“Dr. Wenowdis on Weekend Update” (4602)

“Enough Is Enough,” a bit which explains my feelings about almost all celebrity political takes (4602)

“Canadian News Show” (4603 with Issa Rae)

“Election Ad” (4604 with Adele)

“The Bachelor” (4604)

For more on how this season has come together back in the studio, you can read the Vulture interview with Lorne Michaels about it.

Coach Carter (2005)

A based-on-a-true-story movie about an unconventional basketball coach (Samuel L. Jackson) who wants his players (including a baby Channing Tatum) to succeed on more than just the court. It’s a straight-down-the-middle story that shares DNA with many of the inspiring sports movies that came out in the wake of Remember the Titans, but it’ll scratch that itch if that’s what you’re looking for. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

Double Feature — Early ’90s Halloween Classics: Edward Scissorhands (1990) + The Addams Family (1991)

Both of these movies start at Christmastime, but both are spooOOooky movies in their bones. Not all Halloween movies are Tim Burton movies, but all Tim Burton movies are Halloween movies, including Edward Scissorhands (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10). Tim Burton is hit-or-miss for me, but I was pleasantly surprised at how moving this idiosyncratic fairy tale was. Johnny Depp is at his most tortured as a Frankstein’s monster whose inventor (Vincent Price) gave him scissors for hands, Dianne Wiest finds the heart and comedy in your local Avon representative, and Winona Ryder is a queen. The Addams Family (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10) might be even more idiosyncratic. I’ve never watched the TV series, so it took me a minute to warm up to its twisted sense of humor (“Are they made from real Girl Scouts?”), but once I did, I started laughing as often as my nostalgic parents.

The Magic iPod

A nostalgia kick you didn’t know you wanted. I have no idea why or how this site exists, only that it brings me joy. Try mashing up “Ms. New Booty” with “A Thousand Miles,” “Get Low” with “Float On,” “Tipsy” with Bring Me to Life,” “99 Problems” with “All Star,” “Country Grammar” with “Complicated,” or any other combo that brings your favorite songs from your first iPod together.

Hubie Halloween (2020)

You know those dumb movies that just hit you in the right spot? Adam Sandler has a knack for those kind of movies, and Hubie Halloween fills the void of Halloween fun you’re probably missing this year. Sandler plays Hubie, a not-very-bright do-gooder with a very big heart whose self-proclaimed purpose is to keep everyone safe in his hometown of Salem. But there are spooOOooky threats on Halloween night this year, and only Hubie and his thermos (which rivals a Swiss army knife in all its functions) will be able to save it. Don’t miss it you’re like me and love a good celebrity cameo and a Hollywood-designed Halloween costumes. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 6/10

Double Feature — Are We Sure These ‘80s Movies Are for Kids? Gremlins (1984) + Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)

After seeing Gremlins (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10), I know why parents were clamoring for the PG-13 rating—this movie may be short on the scares for adults, but I have no idea what I’d do for a tyke not expecting the cuddly Gizmo to spawn homicidal ghouls. In what may be the most ‘80s movie I’ve watched yet, we get a legit bonkers story, both in premise and execution—and it might also be a brilliant and scathing satire of consumerism? Perhaps another spoof of consumerism: Who Framed Roger Rabbit (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8.5/10), which creates an impressively specific world that’s part animation, part live action. It’s a parody of classic film noir with no shortage of innuendo or just plain weirdness—its artistic achievement makes it worth watching, but since when have kids cared much about any of those things?

Double Feature — So-Bad-They’re-Good Action Flicks: Gone in Sixty Seconds (2000) + Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)

If Gremlins is one of the most ‘80s movies, then Gone in Sixty Seconds (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 5.5/10) is one of the most Nicolas Cage movies. He’s a good guy caught on the wrong side of the law in a ridiculous plot engine where he has to steal 50 cars in less than a week. His pent-up frustration lives just below the surface, and his performance is so committed, you’re not sure if he’s knows  the dialogue and plot twists are zany—in fact, you’re not even sure he’s acting at all. Also committed to whatever the heck it’s doing is a movie that’s exactly what it sounds like, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 6/10). An over-qualified cast (Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Anthony Mackie, Rufus Sewell, and more) just goes for it in a story with the premise that Abe Lincoln fought oppression caused by slavery and by immortal blood-suckers. I think my favorite part is when a vampire throws a pony at our 16th president—I couldn’t make this up if I tried.

October Critic Picks

Triple Feature — ‘60s Horror Classics: Village of the Damned (1960), The Haunting (1963), Night of the Living Dead (1968)

In Village of the Damned (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8/10), everyone in a British village passes out at the same time for hours, and weird events continue for years, centering around a mysterious group of children. In The Haunting (above, Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 9/10), a group is studying events at a haunted house, but it may be the house that’s in control. And in Night of the Living Dead (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9/10), the zombie genre dawns with a group huddled away from the undead in a farmhouse. All of these are thoughtful, well-made films, but I recommend them with asterisks* because I’ll never watch any of these groups again. The Haunting made me scared of bumps in the night as I was falling asleep, and Night of the Living Dead gave me zombie-filled nightmares. If you’re looking for a dose of heebie jeebies, these are the movies you’ll be needing!

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

I’m not sure I understood any of it, but I think I liked it? If you don’t mind a film that feels more like poetry than a plot, this visual stunner is worth the long runtime and straight-up weird sequence of scenes. Fortunately, I was prepped for my viewing with the help of Turner Classic Movies host Ben Mankiewicz and writer/director Brad Bird, who selected as part of this season’s Essentials lineup. While Bird loves the film, Mankiewicz admitted it’s not one of his favorites because it’s such an obtuse head-scratcher. Both acknowledged it’s an important one to cinema, so unless The Tree of Life is still making your brain hurt almost a decade later, it’s worth trying to parse through a story that covers the dawn of man, man’s fight against machine, and, um, a lot of other things I couldn’t explain if I tried. Crowd: 5/10 // Critic: 10/10

The Trial of the Chicago 7 (2020)

If you’re a fan of Aaron Sorkin’s idealist monologues and ideological pitter-patter, then pause your latest binge of The West Wing to watch his latest writing/directing outing, now streaming on Netflix. Based on the true story of protesters who clashed with the police outside the Democratic National Convention in Chicago in 1968—which, yes, doesn’t seem to difficult to imagine these days—it captures the spirit of a wild trial about political activism, healthy debate, fairness in government, and even the importance of grammar. If you watch it and think there’s no way this really happened, be sure to read up on the real trial to see how the film toned down the judicial circus. While this Oscars season will be unusual, we can predict this film will be in the awards conversation. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 9/10

Also in October…

My fellow ZekeFilm writers and I collected our favorite Halloween movies and TV specials for your enjoyment. Not-a-spoiler-alert: My pick is not very scary. In fact, it’s a zom-rom-com I’ve only come to love more since reviewing it upon its release.

Though Kyla and I always talk about Gilmore Girls on our podcast, we don’t just talk about the murder mystery TV shows it references like Murder, She Wrote. This month we talked about an ‘80s prime time soap full of shoulder pads and catfights as well as a ‘70s movie starring Rocky and the Fonz. Then we decided there were so many confusing pop culture references in an episode we couldn’t pick just one, so we researched a mish mash of topics like Punk Planet magazine, workout guru Jack LaLanne, singer Blossom Dearie, Manson cult member Leslie Van Houten, and a whole lotta board games.

540 movies and counting! You can follow real-time updates in what I’m watching in quarantine on Letterboxd.

#Round Up #Enola Holmes #Murder She Wrote #SNL #Saturday Night Live #Coach Carter #Edward Scissorhands #The Haunting #Village of the Damned #Night of the Living Dead #Hubie Halloween #2001: A Space Odyssey #The Trial of the Chicago 7 #The Addams Family #Gremlins #Who Framed Roger Rabbit #Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter #Gone in Sixty Seconds

[thebryanandsilvergarbage]

The 20th Annual Bryan Awards - The Technical Categories

Winners for these categories will be announced on September 20.

Theme Song of the Year: His Dark Materials (HBO) - Lorne Malfe, Composer Hollywood (Netflix) - Nathan Barr, Composer Hunters (Amazon Prime) - Trevor Gureckis, Composer Little Fires Everywhere (Hulu) - Mark Isham & Isabella Summers, Composers Modern Love (Amazon Prime) - Gary Clark & John Carney, Composers Music and Lyrics/Original Song: General Hospital - “North Star” (ABC) (Music and Lyrics by William Lipton) The Godfather of Harlem - “In These Streets” (Epix) (Music & Lyrics by John Legend) The Good Place - “Cosmic Ride” (NBC) (Music & Lyrics by David Schwartz, Gabriel Mann, and Michael Schur) Saturday Night Live - “Let Kids Drink” (NBC) (Music & Lyrics by Eli Brueggemann & Colin Jost) The 73rd Annual Tony Awards - “Live!” (CBS) (Music and Lyrics by David Javerbaum & Tom Kitt) Main Title Design: The Godfather of Harlem (Epix) Hollywood (Netflix) I Know This Much Is True (HBO) Little Fires Everywhere (Hulu) Mrs. America (F/X) Watchmen (HBO) Casting Director: (Comedy) Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO) The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (Amazon Prime) Modern Love (Amazon Prime) Run (Hulu) Will & Grace (NBC) (Drama) The Crown (Netflix) The Morning Show (Apple TV+) Ozark (Netflix) Succession (HBO) Westworld (HBO) (Daytime) The Bold and the Beautiful (CBS) Days of Our Lives (NBC) General Hospital (ABC) The Young and the Restless (CBS) (Reality) The Bachelor (ABC) Making the Cut (Netflix)  RuPaul’s Drag Race (VH1) Survivor (CBS) The Voice (NBC) (Limited Series/Movie/Special) El Camino (Netflix) Hollywood (Netflix) I Know This Much Is True (HBO) Little Fires Everywhere (Hulu) Mrs. America (F/X)

Picture Editing: (Comedy) Curb Your Enthusiasm (HBO) The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (Amazon Prime) Mom (CBS) Ramy (Hulu) Will & Grace (NBC) (Drama) Better Call Saul (AMC) The Crown (Netflix) The Handmaid’s Tale (Hulu) The Mandalorian (Disney Plus) Ozark (Netflix) This Is Us (NBC) (Daytime/Variety) The Bold and the Beautiful (CBS) Days of Our Lives (NBC) General Hospital (ABC) Saturday Night Live (NBC) The Young and the Restless (CBS) (Reality/Non-Fiction) The Amazing Race (CBS)  Naked and Afraid (Discovery) RuPaul’s Drag Race (VH1) Survivor (CBS) Tiger King (Netflix) Top Chef (Bravo) (Limited Series/Movie/Special) A Christmas Carol (F/X) El Camino (Netflix) I Know This Much Is True (HBO) Little Fires Everywhere (Hulu) Mrs. America (F/X) The Plot Against America (HBO) Cinematography (Series) Better Call Saul (AMC) Ozark (Netflix) Stranger Things (Netflix) Succession (HBO) This Is Us (NBC) Westworld (HBO)  (Limited Series/Movie/Special) A Christmas Carol (F/X) Hollywood (Netflix) I Know This Much Is True (HBO) Little Fires Everywhere (Hulu) Mrs. America (F/X) Watchmen (HBO)

Technical Direction: (Daytime/Primetime Series) The Bold and the Beautiful (CBS) The Daily Show with Trevor Noah (Comedy Central) General Hospital (ABC) Saturday Night Live (NBC) Will & Grace (NBC) The Young and the Restless (CBS) (Daytime/Primetime Special) The Little Mermaid LIVE (ABC) Live in Front of A Studio Audience: Norman Lear’s All in the Family and Good Times (ABC) Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade (NBC) The Oscars (ABC) Sesame Street 50th Anniversary Special (HBO) Production Design (formerly Art Direction): (Comedy/Variety) At Home With Amy Sedaris (TruTV) Drunk History (Comedy Central) The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (Amazon Prime) Saturday Night Live (NBC) Will & Grace (NBC) Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist (NBC) 

(Drama) Big Little Lies (HBO) The Crown (Netflix) The Handmaid’s Tale (Hulu) Outlander (Starz) Succession (HBO) This Is Us (NBC) (Daytime/Live Program) The Bold and the Beautiful (CBS) The Little Mermaid LIVE (ABC) Live in Front of a Studio Audience: Norman Lear’s All in the Family and Good Times (ABC) The Oscars (ABC) The Young and the Restless (CBS) (Limited Series/Movie/Special) Catherine the Great (HBO) A Christmas Carol (F/X) Hollywood (Netflix) Little Fires Everywhere (Hulu) The Loudest Voice (Showtime) The Plot Against America (HBO) Hair and Makeup: (Daytime/Live/Variety) At Home with Amy Sedaris (TruTV) The Bold and the Beautiful (CBS) Days of Our Lives (NBC) General Hospital (ABC) Saturday Night Live (NBC) The Young and the Restless (CBS) (Comedy/Drama Series) GLOW (Netflix) The Handmaid’s Tale (Hulu) The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (Amazon Prime) Pose (F/X) Star Trek: Picard (CBS All-Access) The Walking Dead (AMC) (Limited Series/Movie) Catherine the Great (HBO) A Christmas Carol (F/X) Hollywood (Netflix) The Little Mermaid LIVE (ABC) The Loudest Voice (Showtime) Mrs. America (F/X) 

Costumes: (Daytime/Variety/Live) The Bold and the Beautiful (CBS) Days of Our Lives (NBC) Drunk History (Comedy Central) General Hospital (ABC) Saturday Night Live (NBC) The Young and the Restless (CBS) (Comedy/Drama Series) GLOW (Netflix) The Handmaid’s Tale (Hulu) The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (Amazon Prime) Outlander (Starz) Pose (F/X) Schitt’s Creek (Pop) (Limited Series/Movie) Catherine the Great (HBO) A Christmas Carol (F/X) Hollywood (Netflix) Mrs. America (F/X) The Plot Against America (HBO) Achievement in Sound: (Comedy) The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (Amazon Prime) Modern Family (ABC) Run (HBO) Saturday Night Live (NBC) Silicon Valley (HBO) Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist (NBC) (Drama) Better Call Saul (AMC) Homeland (Showtime) The Mandalorian (Disney Plus) Star Trek: Picard (CBS All-Access) Succession (HBO) Westworld (HBO) (Daytime) The Bold and the Beautiful (CBS) Days of Our Lives (NBC) General Hospital (ABC) The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade (NBC) Sesame Street (HBO) The Young and the Restless (CBS) (Reality) The Amazing Race (CBS) Deadliest Catch (Discovery) Naked and Afraid (Discovery) RuPaul’s Drag Race (VH1) Survivor (CBS) The Voice (NBC) (Limited Series/Movie/Special) A Christmas Carol (Netflix) El Camino (Netflix) Hollywood (Netflix) Let’s Go Crazy: A Grammy Salute to Prince (CBS) Little Fires Everywhere (Hulu) Watchmen (HBO) Music Achievement: (Daytime) Carmen Sandiego (Netflix) Days of Our Lives (NBC) General Hospital (ABC) Sesame Street (HBO) The Young and the Restless (CBS) (Primetime) Little Fires Everywhere (Hulu) Saturday Night Live (NBC) Succession (HBO) Watchmen (HBO) Westworld (HBO) 

Most Missed Series: Homeland (Showtime)  Modern Family (ABC) Orange Is The New Black (Netflix) Silicon Valley (HBO) Will & Grace (NBC)

Choreography: Dancing With the Stars (ABC) High School Musical The Series (Disney) So You Think You Can Dance (Fox) Transparent Musical Finale (Amazon Prime) Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist (NBC) Visual Effects: American Horror Story: 1984 (F/X) General Hospital (ABC) The Mandalorian (Disney Plus) Star Trek: Discovery (CBS All-Access) The Walking Dead (AMC) Westworld (HBO) Stunt Coordination: American Horror Story: 1984 (F/X) General Hospital (ABC) GLOW (Netflix) Watchmen (HBO) Westworld (HBO)

#bryanawards2020 #bryan awards #television awards #2019-20 television season

[hishgraphics]

Lorn Song of the Bachelor, a riverine adventure and dungeon crawl for #dnd, written by @zedecksiew. Based on a fantasy Sarawak! Lots of its own monsters! Thanks for the book, Zedeck. . #bujangsenang #dungeonsanddragons #rpg #ttrpg #tabletopgames #tabletoproleplayinggame #tabletoproleplayinggames #tabletoprpg #tabletoprpgs #tabletop #monstermanual #dungeonsanddragons #dungeoncrawl https://www.instagram.com/p/B8n77xEhczF/?igshid=1g3p15yuyi8uy

#dnd #bujangsenang #dungeonsanddragons #rpg #ttrpg #tabletopgames #tabletoproleplayinggame #tabletoproleplayinggames #tabletoprpg #tabletoprpgs #tabletop #monstermanual #dungeoncrawl

[zedecksiew]

Lorn Song of the Bachelor

“Lorn Song of the Bachelor” is a roleplaying-game adventure set on a stretch of upland river, haunted by an enormous undying crocodile -- 

set also inside said crocodile’s belly.

It is inspired by the story of Bujang Senang, the “journalism” of Mastika, and the fact of the candiru.

Out 6th December 2019. Preorder HERE.

+

“Lorn Song” is the first RPG adventure I ever wrote.

I wrote it mainly on Sharon’s laptop, at a table in a largely-empty tom yam restaurant, as she trained for her first muay-thai fight at the gym upstairs.

Work rarely comes so quickly and so clearly to me. And though “Lorn Song” has expanded, since -- its core remains unchanged: a ruined dungeon that is also a crocodile’s belly and also hell.

+

“Lorn Song” is the first RPG thing with my name on the cover, I think!

Nadhir Nor is also on the cover, because his art is so essential to what the book is.

With cartography by Karl Stjernberg, layout by Dai Shugars, editing by Fiona M Geist and Humza Kazmi.

Dedicated to Robertson Sondoh Jr, who helped playtest the module, and made its first hack and fan-art.

Published by Hydra Cooperative in collaboration with Exalted Funeral.

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Come on, then. Take a boat upriver. Come and be eaten.

#lorn song of the bachelor #hydra cooperative #exalted funeral #writing #art #rpgs #adventures #rivers #crocodiles #nadhir nor

[gooberpg]

Play Report: Lorn Song of the Bachelor x Mangayaw (Session 1)

The Binmanwa Party:

Kilala, a ratfolk cook

Malakas, a shamanistic healer

Bantok, a bow hunter

Euminung-gud, an aswang (?)

Dumalapdap, a ratfolk musketeer

Alon, a textile weaver

They are in debt to Oppu Wa Oppu, a veiled princess, because they were responsible for a feast that has gone wrong. The group was dubbed the Party Crashers.

They are in the village of the Gleaming Fins to pay back their debt.

Oppu Wa Oppu

The party asked what they can do for her to pay back their Debt.

Her eyes are unseeing ivory. She glows like faint moonlight. She is the niece of the village chief and a shaman and keeper of village rites, with tattoos of stars and crescent moons.

Aside from driving away her more annoying suitors, she doesn’t care how they get their hands on wealth. She also referred them to Auntie Sati Wa Sati, who is in need of capable Binmanwa for a Labor.

Auntie Sati

Sati Wa Sati is a witchy grandma. Fireflies encircle her.

She tells the party she wants to end the Bachelor’s curse. She tells them of Vung Si Vung’s song.

The Song of Vung Si Vung Once there lived a man called Vung Si Vung, said to be invulnerable—not spear nor shot pierced his bronzed skin. Such was his fame, the chief of that time grew envious, seeing in him a rival. One day, returning home, he found his wife taken. The chief and his soldiers, having subjected her to tortures, wrested from her her husband’s secrets: That he had won his strength from the spirits of the land. But he had failed to appease the spirits of the river. So Vung Si Vung found his wife murdered upon a spike, on a muddy bank, and the chief’s soldiers waiting. Filled with grief, he fought them there. Though he was mighty, they were too many—and, being near running water, near the river, he had no special protection. So he died. The chief, filled with spite, defiled the bodies of husband and wife, leaving them as carrion in red mud, conducting no funerary rites. This, over everything, was a breach of propriety, and greatly offended the spirits. Claiming Vung Si Vung with the tide, taking pity on him, they said: “O warrior, in death you have our blessing, go you now in a terrible form, as an amphibious predator, to visit fear and justice onto your enemies! Let it be so, from this very day!”

Aunti Sati could not give them anything of significant monetary value, but she offers her medical services.

Mahivir Sanna Krau

The party visited the The-Isles-Like-Precious-Ivory Company Office, to hear what they have to offer. The lead merchant Mahivir Sanna Krau offered to pay for most of their Debt in exchange for dealing with the Bachelor.

Mahivir wants him gone. He’s bad for business.

The party took the deal. It is in line with Auntie Sati’s quest. They requested a boat and some rations for this quest, to which Mahivir agreed to give. Dumalapdap tried to borrow a pistol, but Mahivir didn’t allow for it.

Niti Si Niti and Bavu Si Bavu

The party came upon a curious scene while walking through the village. A burly, peg-legged man was chasing a younger man with a machete. “Touch my daughter again, I’ll kill you!“

The peg-legged man is Niti Si Niti. He is a dreaming agaru sniffer, with tattoos of twelve-winged eagles. He is the father of Oppu Wa Oppu.

The party chased after the younger man. He is Bavu Si Bavu, hunter of forest beasts, tattoos of rhinoceroses. He reeked like roadkill. He claims he is in a relationship with Oppu Wa Oppu. The party was inclined to not believe him.

They lightly threatened him not to meet with the princess again, and he went home dejected.

Back to Oppu Wa Oppu

The party returned to the veiled princess’ hut to report on what information they gathered and to tell her about Bavu si Bavu.

The Oppu Wa Oppu let out a disappointed sigh. Bavu Si Bavu was saying truth. The two of them are in love. Her father does not approve of it because of Bavu Si Bavu’s status.

Rather than Bavu Si Bavu, it was Hummu Si Hummu, the village’s most prominent singer who the princess wanted to shoo away.

Realizing their mistake, the party hatched up a plan. What if Bavu Si Bavu accompanied them on their Labor to end the curse of the the Bachelor. If they were successful, surely such a feat would be enough to change Niti Si Niti’s mind?

Vartu Si Vartu

As the party was leaving the princess’ hut, someone else was heading inside.

Vartu Si Vartu, chief of the Gleaming Fins. His body is covered in silver paint. A servant follows him to touch up his makeup.

He is offended, insulted even, that the party met up with so many people in the village, and yet has not paid him a visit. He sternly expects them to be waiting in his longhouse once he has finished his visit with his niece.

AFTERTHOUGHTS

I’m thrilled to finally run this gem of an adventure. The session was really more about meeting the characters and gathering information, but it was still fun.

The whole thing with Oppu Wa Oppu’s romance is not part of the “main quest”. I wanted to tie Mangayaw’s starting Debt to the adventure, so I used the random Gleaming Fins tables to create characters for that. It’s a testament to Zedeck’s writing that I was able to flesh out a small web of relationships with the tables.

#ttrpg #rpg #rpgsea #osr #actual play #play report

[naisaship]

TAG BABY!

I was tagged by beautifuuuuuul @oh-my-drake thank you so much!

Rules: Set your entire playlist to shuffle and then write first 10 songs that pop out.

1. Heartbreker - Justin Bieber 2. That’s All - Michael Buble 3. Jodie’s Suite - Lorne Balfe 4. Trust - Justin Bieber 5. Worship - Brandyn Burnette 6. O Amor não Tem Culpa - Pixote 7. You Don’t Know Me - Michael Buble 8. Call Me - Ashton Traitor 9. Death of a Bachelor - Panic! At The Disco 10. Always - Frank Sinatra

I tag: @blondejustin @samorgan @sam---drake @samuelldrakee-deactivated201707 @samuelmdrake @jaheesvorson @nathamuel @mystoryishere @blind-venerer @skarlettmikaelson yall feel free to ignore this haha♥

[tiarnafrancach-archive-blog]

Tagged by: no one I STOLE it 
Tagging: no one I STOLE it Name: dianait 
Birthday: march 12 !! 
Age: 23 
Sexual Orientation: asexual 
School Status: graduated w/ my bachelors 2015

YES/NO Drink?: not often 
Smoke?: no 
Eat cake?: ofc 
Believe in true love?: good question jamie 
Afraid of the dark?: debatable 
Cat person?: I love all animals

FAVORITES Shampoo: tbh I usually use head n shoulders 
Disney song: too big a question but first to come to mind was go the distance from hercules! Also how far I’ll go from moana (see a pattern?) 
Actress/Actor: there are several but like. My boy jimmy mcavoy 
Car: mmmmm……tbh any with sui cide doors 
Person: my girl K 
Type of Weather: 40f and a lil rainy, maybe the sun comes out for like an hour 
90s Sitcom: was gonna say Malcolm in the middle but that came out in 2000, so friends

QUESTIONS What is your special talent/skill as a roleplayer?: being inconsistent and frequently inactive What is your favorite type of roleplay genre, and why?: i like making Sean cry or bleed bc he’s a Bad Man™ or threads based on songs bc music is my life Why did you pick your muse?: bc he popped into my head about …4 years ago? And refused to leave If you could write any other muse - but know you don’t have the muse for him/her - who would it be?: LORNE FUCKIN MALVO What is one thing you think you need to work on as a partner?: replying to threads way faster and not taking like a month to reply if things are in drafts lmao What would be your warning label to other roleplayers?: be warned, for I have many blogs and will sit on one without replying to our threads for like a month at a time while ignoring my other blogs What is your favorite episode/scene of your muse?: sean is an oc ofc so let’s say one of my fave things that has happened to him on the blog- the time he electrocuted a water spirit (and himself) with a toaster and a fork What crack!ships do you have for your muse?: with sean oh god uh. idk if I have any?? I don’t rly ship him seriously w/ anyone except in aus- What is your senpai blog?: anyone I rp w/ or follow or who follows me. I love you all, rp blog or not you’re all amazing

#ooc #it's close enough to munday

[biofunmy]

Eddie Murphy Returns to ‘Saturday Night Live’

It took 35 years, but Eddie Murphy came back to host “Saturday Night Live.”

The last time Murphy hosted the show, it was Dec. 15, 1984, just a few months after this one-time wunderkind (who joined “S.N.L.” when he was 19 years old) quit the program to focus on his flourishing film career. In the sketches that aired that night, he revisited several of his beloved characters, including Buckwheat, Gumby and Mr. Robinson.

Tonight, in an episode that also featured the musical guest Lizzo, Murphy revisited several of his beloved characters, including Buckwheat, Gumby and Mr. Robinson. But first, in an opening monologue, he updated the audience on the last several years of his life and received tributes from a few surprise guests.

Taking the stage of NBC’s Studio 8H, Murphy told “S.N.L.” viewers: “This is the last episode of 2019. But if you’re black, this is the first episode since I left back in 1984.”

He then showed a photograph of himself when he was still an “S.N.L.” cast member. “Yeah, I look at least five years younger there,” Murphy said. “You know what they always say: Money don’t crack.”

Among the ways that his life has changed since then, Murphy said, is that “I have 10 kids now — 11 if you count Kevin Hart.” He added, “If you had told me 30 years ago that I would be this boring stay-at-home house dad and Bill Cosby would be in jail, even I would have took that bet.” Slipping into his Cosby impersonation, Murphy said, “Who is America’s Dad now?”

Tracy Morgan, a fellow “S.N.L.” alum, joined Murphy onstage and offered him praise. “If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t be here,” Morgan told him. “Like, literally. I was conceived on the ‘Delirious’ tour bus.”

Chris Rock, who was also an “S.N.L.” cast member before becoming a stand-up superstar, said that the show’s creator and executive producer Lorne Michaels had compared him to Murphy when he joined the show.

“When I got hired, Lorne told me, ‘You’re going to be the next Eddie Murphy,” Rock said. “And then a year later he said, ‘No, you’re not.’”

Dave Chappelle, another titan of stand-up, told Murphy he had been an inspiration. “I followed your blueprint for my entire career,” Chappelle said. “I became the biggest star on television and then I quit.”

Looking over the assembled group, Chappelle said, “Right now you’re looking at half of Netflix’s budget, right here onstage.”

Morgan said: “Not me. I made all my millions on the road.”

Murphy asked, “You mean touring?”

Morgan replied, “No, I got hit by a truck.”

Mr. Robinson Sketch of the Week

In the first of several segments in which Murphy reprised his former “S.N.L.” characters, he donned the sweater and sneakers of Mr. Robinson, his Mr. Rogers parody, who told viewers that his neighborhood had changed considerably since the last time they saw him.

As Murphy sang in his opening song:

I was gone for a bit, but now I’m all right. My neighbors was all black, but now they white. The check cashing place turned into a bank. Elevator works and the stairs they don’t stink. The white people came and changed everything, But I am still your neighbor.

He also taught his audience about the word “gentrification”: “It’s like a magic trick,” Murphy said. “White people pay a lot of money and then poof, all the black people are gone.”

Buckwheat Sketch of the Week

What started out looking like a straightforward lampoon of Fox’s reality competition series “The Masked Singer” took a turn when Chris Redd (playing the show’s host, Nick Cannon) introduced a new contestant, dressed in a giant corn-on-the-cob costume, who began crooning “Can’t Help Falling in Love” in an almost unintelligible patois.

It was, of course, Murphy, playing his version of Buckwheat, the old “Our Gang” character, who went onto sing other popular tunes including “Dine, Teal, Dawibba,” “I Chot Da Chariff” and “Tinga Nadies.”

Melissa Villaseñor, playing the panelist Nicole Scherzinger, told Murphy, “We’ve missed you these past 30 years.” He told her not to worry, saying, “Wherever I am, I’m doing o-tay.”

Democratic Debate Sketch of the Week

You know how these celebrity-laden, impression-heavy segments go, so we’ll give you a quick rundown of who played whom and what their best lines were:

Heidi Gardner as the moderator Judy Woodruff: “Just like ‘The Bachelor,’ the further we go, the less diverse it gets.”

Kate McKinnon as Elizabeth Warren: “I’m here and I am in my element. PBS is my safe word. Last debate, I gave you policy T.M.I., and now I am ready to walk it back.”

Colin Jost as Pete Buttigieg: “I’m the only person on this stage who isn’t a millionaire or billionaire. I live on my mayor’s salary plus a $20 a week allowance from my parents, and that’s only if I do my chores.”

Larry David as Bernie Sanders: “Look at me. Are you really surprised that my main concern is the temperature?” He added: “Let me tell you, no matter how hot the earth gets I will not wear shorts. I swim in corduroy.”

Fred Armisen as Michael Bloomberg, explaining his uninvited appearance at the debate: “For $30 million, PBS is now owned by viewers like me.”

Yes, there was also an appearance by Alec Baldwin as President Trump (who said he was there “so you people will actually watch this little freak show”), and McKinnon changed costumes mid-sketch to reappear as House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, whose Christmas gift to Trump was two articles of impeachment.

Weekend Update Jokes of the Week

Over at the Weekend Update desk, the anchors, Colin Jost and Michael Che, made a Christmas joke swap and riffed on the latest impeachment news.

Jost:

On Wednesday, the House voted to impeach President Trump. But Nancy Pelosi refuses to send the articles to the Senate until they guarantee a fair trial. So now we’re all in this weird limbo where no one knows exactly what’s going on, there’s this cast of wild characters making fools of themselves, and everyone is thinking, “Please, God, just let this end.” So basically it’s “Cats.”

Che:

In a letter to Nancy Pelosi, Trump claimed that he has been treated worse than those accused in the Salem witch trials. You know where they set women on fire for, like, wearing pants. Well, according to Donald Trump, impeachment is, like, literally worse than that. I’m a little disappointed in Donald Trump. I knew he would snap but I thought it would be fun like Tupac in ’96. This is more sad like Britney in ’07.

Gumby Sketch of the Week

In another welcome head-fake, Jost began to set up a joke about Mitch McConnell, only to be interrupted by Murphy, playing his dyspeptic version of Gumby, the venerable clay-animated character.

Murphy joined Jost and Che at the Weekend Update desk, mostly to bellow out his famous catchphrase, “I’m Gumby, damn it,” and to roast the two anchors.

“I’ve passed kidney stones with more personality than the two of you,” Murphy told them. “Face it, kid, the two of you together couldn’t Velcro my sneakers.” (Meanwhile, if you were hoping to see Murphy’s old character Velvet Jones, he turned up in a “Black Jeopardy” sketch later in the show.)

Sahred From Source link Arts

from WordPress http://bit.ly/2tJp4nB via IFTTT

#IFTTT #WordPress

[gooberpg]

Play Report: Lorn Song of the Bachelor x Mangayaw (Session 5)

This is a retelling of a game session of Lorn Song of the Bachelor run with Mangayaw.

The Binmanwa Party

Malakas, a shamanistic healer

Bantok, a bow hunter

Eumining-gud, an aswang (?)

Dumalapdap, a ratfolk musketeer

Tusok, a witch’s apprentice

Lost Treasure Hunters

The party decided to push past the Cloth-Packed Belly to see what is beyond it.

They reached the teak log bridge when they hear an incomprehensible muttering. On the other side of the bridge were silhouettes of two men. By throwing a nostalgia wisp towards them and Eumining-gud extending her neck to get a closer look, they observed that these men were milky-eyed, pale and hairless. They sported Gleaming Fins clothing and tattoos.

Deciding they’re not going to converse properly with distance between them, Bantok and Dumalapdap decided to cross the bridge. The men lunged at Dumalapdap immediately, but only bit the wood of his shield. The rest of the party came to his rescue. A flurry of blades, sticks, and projectiles and the two strange men fell.

Bavu Si Bavu recognized one of the men; someone he knew from younger days. A few years ago, he talked about going into the Old Ruin to look for treasure. He was never found again, until now.

The party decided to tie the strange men up, in the hopes they’ll find a cure to their sickness. That is, if this was caused by a sickness.

The Bachelor-Filled Belly

The archway to the Belly looked different from before. It’s still ink-black under the light of their nostalgia wisps but instead of cavorting monkeys, the motifs were of yawning crocodiles.

A strange, moist breeze flows from inside the archway. The sound of waves lapping on a shore and a shrill clicking. There’s a wide lake here, with an island right in the middle. On the island, an ornate-looking stupa.

The party’s investigation of the space was interrupted by an albino crocodile, hugging the wall like a gecko. It emits clicking sounds to navigate the dark ruins. It crawls from the wall to the floor, towards the party.

Bantok grabbed a rock from the ground and threw it behind the crocodile to try to distract it. “Oh please, I’m not that stupid.” the crocodile scoffed, almost offended.

The party was taken aback by the talking crocodile, but quickly got over their surprise to try to talk it down. Unfortunately, the white reptile is intent on getting a “taste test.”

Dumalapdap and Malakas quickly jumped into action. Dumalapdap lodged a rattan stick in between the crocodile’s jaw, while Malakas tried to stab it from behind. With the crocodile’s jaws unable to bite, it used it claws against Dumalapdap. But before any serious damage was done, Bantok’s panabas cut down the lizard.

The crocodile continued the conversation while completely helpless, not really minding that it is under the mercy of the party. It answered the party’s questions about the ruin to the best of its abilities. That is to say, it didn’t have much information for them. Then, the party took out its teeth, as part of the deal with Sikkukurut.

Moving on from the crocodile, the party swam across the lake to the island. The stupa has a brass door, sporting a bas relief of a warrior, regal with feathers, spear and shield. It wouldn’t budge, even with their combined strength.

At the other side of the lake was another archway. It glows white in darkness, so the party spotted it easily. They took that path forward.

The Cloaca and the Catfish Village

The tunnel past the archway led to a flooded space. Faded traffic runes on the floor, sound of thunder periodically ring out. Small stormy clouds float at shoulder level, some fitted with saddles.

Re Wa Re recalls a children’s story, of monkeys using clouds as a means of transportation. The party wanted in on this. Malakas, Eunimining-gud, and Bantok each rode atop some of the clouds with saddles. The clouds buckled and kicked violently, causing Bantok to slam into the wall. They stopped trying after that.

The floodwater drains into a lower level in a rushing stream. Seeing no other way forward, the party rode it downstream.

The stream led to a water basin. Huts, made of trash, human leather, and flesh, line the bank. The villagefolk curiously surround the party. They have partly putrefied skin and catfish attached on their crotches; wet-corpse hosts just like the party encountered before. They give way to a corpse-host in regal pirate wear: Grimkin, the leader of the catfish.

GM COMMENTS

This session has more combat than the first 3 combined hahaha

Minutes after the session were taken to discuss crocodile dicks and how a catfish might attach itself on one. Time well spent, I’d say.

#osr #rpg #rpgsea #ttrpg #actual play #play report #cairn #mangayaw #nsr