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getvalentined · 8 months

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I am so sick of people asserting that Cloud's father is some super special important person like it's some explanation for the fact that he was able to save the world. Superior bloodline stuff never sits well with me in the first place, but in this case it's just so antithetical to the actual thesis of FF7 and does such a huge disservice to multiple characters that it makes me white hot angry.

The most popular contender is President Shinra, because Cloud being a Shinra bastard would (somehow) explain why he's allowed into the company at such a young age (even though enlistment age appears to be 14 and Cloud left Nibelheim to enlist at 14) and how he wound up on so many important missions—because it can't possibly be that he's actually competent, he's so pretty, how could he possibly be competent? It's not as if we see him being staggeringly competent from jump in every title where he's featured, including those that start prior to him being forcibly mako enhanced by Hojo. Clearly this is nepotism.

After all, we know that President Shinra is always so supportive of his bastards! That's why Lazard hid his identity and worked his way up the ranks to become director of SOLDIER at the youngest possible age and then set about trying to orchestrate a hostile takeover of the company by allowing all three of his best operatives to defect in the middle of a war, a process that was only thrown off because one of them passed off every single mission where he would have had an opportunity to go AWOL.

This was clearly the result of nepotism. There's just so much nepotism going on there. Obviously.

The newest contender is Glenn Lodbrok, the lead character from the First SOLDIER section of Ever Crisis, because he's blond-haired and blue-eyed and presumably one of the first people in Project 0 to survive some level of the mako enhancement process. I guess this is supposed to mean that him being Cloud's father would be a perfect explanation for Cloud actually being capable of literally anything, since the only way for him to become the hero that was chosen by the planet to keep it alive would be if it's part of some bloodline destiny.

There are a whole host of issues with Glenn as an option here, not the least of which is the canonical lore about Cloud's father, namely that he was some nobody traveler who kinda passed through and got Claudia pregnant and then left; he may have died up in the mountains, but apparently all that was ever found was his pack, so there's no way to be sure. Further, Claudia was very young at this point—according to her original concept art declaring her to be 33 at the time of her death, she gave birth to Cloud at 16-17 years old.

Glenn is one of two possible age ranges: if he was active in the early stages of Project 0, being a character in the First SOLDIER battle royale game, then he was around 21 in 1985, meaning a 21 year old knocked up Claudia Strife when she was 15 and then walked out on her. If he's 21 during the events of Ever Crisis, which seems likely based on his character design, that would make him 14 at the oldest when Claudia got pregnant.

Okay, I know this kind of thing happens IRL, but I feel pretty confident in the statement that there is absolutely no way that that's the direction SE is taking this timeline and characterization. I'm not even sorry. That's not happening. Either he's giving "predator," or he's Deadbeat Dad: High School Freshman Edition.

But that's honestly not even the worst of it, the math not matching up is entirely irrelevant when the implications of this assertion are applied to the actual thesis of this series as a whole, to the characters we already know, to the actual lore. Claiming that Cloud is only special because of the sperm donation of a man who abandoned him literally removes any concept of his competence as a character, declaring that he's just the newest iteration in a line of "worthy" men. He can't be worth anything unless his father is worth something. He can't be good at anything unless his father is good at something.

Beyond that, it casts Claudia aside entirely, asserting that the fact that she raised Cloud doesn't matter—she may have brought him up entirely on her own, but that doesn't actually matter. She didn't instill values and morals and guidelines into him that would allow him to grow up into a man who could save the world, she was just an incubator, a nursemaid, a nanny, a cook. She was just a servant who kept him alive long enough for his father's bloodline to awaken within him and make him into the hero he was always meant to be.

Insisting that Cloud's value as a character hinges in any way on his father, a person who had no place in his life whatsoever and whom he doesn't even remember, takes away his agency and declares Claudia to be irrelevant. It says that a sperm donation matters more than an upbringing. It says that the place he started is the only thing that defines where Cloud will end up.

This is literally, 100 percent, the opposite of the thesis of this series. The entire concept of these games, of these storylines, is that the way you were made doesn't have to dictate what you can be, who you are, where you're going. Your genetics do not define you, and assumptions to the contrary are literally what make people into monsters. What matters is the people you love, the people who love you, and the person you are now as a result of those people.

And the fact of the matter is that regardless of timelines, regardless of characterizations, regardless of theories, Cloud Shinra and Cloud Lodbrok didn't save the world.

Cloud Strife did.

Claudia Strife's son did.

And I think people could stand to give both of them a hell of a lot more credit.

#fandom rant #fandom ramble #fandom bullshit #long post #cloud strife #claudia strife #FF7 #FF7R #FF7EC

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artofalassa · 8 months

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Really love your art ❤️ the wings you draw looks amazing 👏 how does one draw them? 👀 do you use any references?

Oh my god, this ask is making the circle full fr. ;; Thank you SO MUCH, Anon!! I've had an enormous wing kink most of my life, but scared of drawing and avoiding them for uh.......... most of my life lol. So reading this means A LOT. TLDR - yes, use refs of all sorts of birds! use gradients! don't overdoit with brushstrokes! wings are paperthin!

In 2021 I said fck it and-- asked my partner, @lesoldatmort, who's a wing-master to teach me how to wings. And the answer was simple - use refs. I did! And it looked better than before. But. Uh.

Most of my wings looked like-- pillow sheets? Or. Pillows. Blankets. Puffy and thick. (Rafe from December, 2020)

So the biggest trouble for me personally (and for my partner, who was trying to knock it in my thick skull), was to get the wings as thin as possible. And use refs. And draw a lot of wings.

The biggest and best advice I got from my man, was to think of wings as of paper. Flat and thin. And use gradients for the sections instead of too many brushstrokes for each feather. Actually, save on the brushstrokes where you can.

January 2022 this was the best I could do. And that's after a LOT of interference from my partner, who kept nagging me to get rid of brushstrokes and add. more. gradients.

In June I decided I'm cracking the case. Gave up on trying to paint too much, because I prefer lineart 95% of the time anyway and drew the Howl piece. Still too many brushstrokes, but I used vulture photos as a reference for this one. Adoration is from this time as well. Used a pinned down bald eagle as a ref for Zack's wing.

In summer, I did some more random studies, kept looking at wings very closely. Looked at other artists drawing them. In September I was lucky enough to get cmed to draw safer Sephiroth. And that was probably the final moment I gave up on too many details and brushes and started stylizing the hell out of it. And using gradients. And lasso tool. As my partner's been telling me for almost two years at that point. Thin. Finally.

And then I just kept going. Simplifying the hell out of them............

And here we are. I have a problem. It's called a wink kink. And I'm loving it. <3

A few months ago, due to a gender crisis, lol, I even started using the name "Alas" along with Alassa. Which supposedly means "wing" in latin.

So... Thank you for coming to my ted talk and personal vent and rant. Sorry this got so long! However, seeing somebody asking me specifically about wings in my art... feels like reaching a finish line after years of whining. Thank you so much! ;; <3

#las!talks #las!art

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holocene-sims · 2 months

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next // previous

august 17, 2021 3:00 p.m. yonsei university

[grant] did your dad apologize for being a dick, though?

[henry] of course. he was a good person and realized he was being a bit weird. he just hated noise. i think he'd have been happy to be born with a set of noise-canceling headphones attached to him.

[grant] except maybe he liked your mom’s noise from that day forward!

[henry] he did, but even if he hated it, he was probably glad to have hers back after a while. almost half the time they dated, they didn’t even live in the same country.

[henry] my mom worked at an art shop somewhere in seoul, and my dad had this sweet gig working at a museum in paris while getting a doctorate and doing some traveling, visiting art museums on every continent. he got the doctorate, but gave up the job to come back and marry my mom.

[henry] and she won out, to be honest. him teaching here was a prestigious position, and his family are pretty well off because they're in banking and all, so she got to quit her job after marriage, have me, and just sculpt for fun.

[grant] that’s the dream, right?

[henry] i think so.

[grant] it’s nice to be genuinely in love but also to support each other’s passions, too, whether that's helping them pursue a job or a hobby. i mean, that’s everything. that's the deepest form of connection. oh yeah, definitely the dream.

[henry] for sure. there wasn’t much for my mom to help with because she was never wealthy and her parents weren’t either, but she was a huge moral support. she was my dad’s biggest fan. sometimes getting a doctorate sucked, and he wanted to quit, but it was hard to quit with her on the sidelines cheering.

[henry] that’s like me and soobin. not much i can do on the money front because i'm not rich and i won't take money from my parents, and i couldn’t help with her medical school because i'm a certifiably terrible student, but i can be and am her cheerleader.

[henry] and i may not have been a photographer without her. being an artist is the worst career choice unless someone else has money to throw at the bills. and i make an okay salary! i have solid clientele booking all year long, but i don't charge what i "should" because i feel wrong asking too much money to do wedding photos and all. that shit's expensive - i'll take a small cut off the going rate so they get all they want for the big day.

[henry] besides, the one thing in life that makes me nervous is clients being unhappy. everything else about a wedding goes away except the photos. if they're unhappy, i'd rather the pricing not be an extra issue, you know? at least let it be a cheap mistake.

[grant] but you would have still pursued this, right? i can’t imagine you not at least trying it out. you have always been set on some kind of photography as a career. even when you were having a crisis around college graduation about whether you should pursue high-brow art or something very human and realistic like you do now, you never questioned if photography was your truth.

[henry] i would have. i've always known it was my goal. i just think the financial stress may have worn me down eventually if she wasn’t willing to shoulder an extra share of the burden. like i said, charging people themselves is a strange thing, and you just never know what can happen. sure, i did end up with a good brand through putting myself out there on social media, but that was no guarantee.

[henry] if that hadn't worked out, i'd have been in trouble. and when you don't have a lot of clients or reach, you have to be conservative and sometimes that hurts you on growth. blah blah blah. point is, i owe soobin a lot, both for financial support and her total faith in me.

[grant] well, teamwork makes the dream work and all that!

[henry] hey, you're part of the team, too. there's no one else i'd rather call at 3AM asking to check the red balance on my pictures because everything looks green to me. and as it turns out, having a friend with a massive family who host many events requiring photography is excellent for clientele building.

#ts4 #the sims 4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #sims 4 storytelling #simblr #hlcn: everything the stars promised #LORE DUMP LORE DUMP WOOHOO #also in terms of characterization henry's mom is very new but idc i literally love her!! xoxo #holocene.docx #holocene.png #hlcn: grant #hlcn: henry

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mokutone · 10 months

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your art makes me wanna start testosterone

i can't read tone well, so this is either an incredibly touching ask, or an extremely funny one, and in the absence of confirmation: both!

i'm in a chatty mood, so i'll share some thoughts about testosterone and my art.

i liked being on testosterone a lot. i had an IM injection every two weeks (on tuesdays!) and because that's a sizeable dose every 14 days that slowly disperses, it can cause some mood fluctuations (every other friday i would have a crisis about not feeling like the world had a place for me in it) but even those were far more manageable than the ones that would come with my previous and current monthly hormone cycle (every month i spend a solid week thinking the world will never have a place for me in it)

It gave me a patchy little bit of scruff on my chin and a whispy mustache under my nose that still struggles on, despite adversity!

It redistributed my fat a little bit, but that's long since gone back to pre-T shape.

it lowered my voice! that hasn't changed :^)! even if i never go back on t, that won't change. it was the thing i most wanted, and its the one i'm most grateful for. Pre-T, I didn't speak much. I'm getting better and better at talking and getting more and more comfortable communicating with people because of it.

having been off t now for 3 years, i don't pass anymore—not as a cis man, or a cis woman, certainly not as anything approximating straight. if people look at me and see anything, i'd hazard a guess that they see me as A Queer (the noun—for all it's complicated connotations).

i'm not surprised that my art might make somebody want to start testosterone! a lot of my art was made out of the aching grief that came with being kicked off of testosterone, and how neatly that loss of autonomy over my own body knits in with yamato's loss of autonomy over his own.

how my body started doing things i disliked, how i didn't have the support necessary to access the healthcare i needed—how my inability to give myself what i needed made me feel as though i were trapped inside of myself and abandoned (by both myself and the world at large)

when i write comics about yamato as a trans man, i don't take away his testosterone, because that hits a little too close to home for me. for Ninja War Town Reasons, he has plenty of access to all the HRT he could ever need and nobody questions his need for it—instead, i project my own horrors onto the way Danzō defined his identity for him as a child, the way that Kabuto and Obito dehumanize him as an adult in their war efforts, and reduce him to the thing his body holds (the Mokuton). I give him a kneejerk compulsion to dehumanize himself (out of a feeling that he has a duty to his community to do so) and I give him a slow-growing resistance to that impulse (which comes out of a feeling that the people he loves would frown upon seeing him reduce himself like that)

it's dysphoria! it's not gender dysphoria, but it's a loss of self, and a need to reclaim it. it's a war between the hollow shell of a thing he thinks he has to be, and the vibrant and messy person beneath it that he is. it's a desperate need to say "this is who i am—only i can say it"

I enjoyed HRT a lot. it was a really useful tool in helping me feel like my body was my own, that i didn't have to fight it, that we were the same entity. It's not the only tool, but it was a really good one, and one day I hope to use it again.

(as for the being off of it—it's unpleasant, but i'm enduring! being somebody who now doesn't really pass as anything has put me in a weird and interesting position, where I'm constantly having to declare myself to people, because nobody knows what to make of me on any front. they don't know if i'm a man, a woman, nonbinary, nor even what age i am (Augh!!!!) it forces me to be brave and vulnerable more than I'm comfortable with—if I tell somebody I'm a man, there's no way that they will believe I'm cis, but I'm not about to recloset myself—and I don't think I could at this point anyway.)

(there's something fascinating about the position i find myself in, and while i'd leap back on t the moment that an opportunity presented itself to do so, i do feel like i'm experiencing something interesting and important in this weird zone i find myself in)

#yamswers #anonymous #dysphoria discussion #q slur — only because i literally use it in the noun form most associated w/ dehumanization #i love that u asked this on a tuesday. thank u for asking this on a tuesday #happy testosterone tuesday to all who celebrate #i also got top surgery a while ago—which is responsible for about 50% of my average suicidal idealizations vanishing #because my chest was my second biggest site of dysphoria after my voice #it was far less painful than i dared imagine. and far more satisfying. i had an excellent and lucky recovery #my results aren't perfect but oh man. the joy of being able to press my hand (flat) to my chest (flat).#the way that a binder mimics the exact squeeze around my lungs that a panic attack stimulates—#not feeling that when i'm out in public? thank you modern medicine. thank you. oh my god. no more false flag panic attacks #i had to fight my insurance for two years and all the health providers i contacted told me the hoops i was being made to jump through #seemed utterly ridiculous. and it was still gobs of money but i got it. so grateful u cannot even imagine #a lot of people describe their feelings post op as “relief—finally i could see myself”#but i experience...more delight than relief. joy. is joy the absence of pain or the presence of happiness? can i tell the difference?#on my worst days i can lay a hand on my heart. and i can lay a hand on my heart. and i can lay a hand on my heart. and i can lay a hand on

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ohshy · 9 months

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random punch out headcanons (theyre a little king hippo skewed)

- aran ryan is really good at rhyming. he uses this to annoy people. One time, he wrote a purple prose joke letter to don flamenco which he thought was a genuine exclamation from his lover Carmen, only to find it signed ''(...) my stalwart bullfighting lion, you shine brightly like the mighty orion -> love, aran ryan ♥''. Needless to say, hell broke loose. Aran thought it was worth it though.

- because of aran's rhyming abilities, disco kid has asked him to do a music collab. big mistake, aran only wanted to create sea shanty inspired diss tracks.

- von kaiser is a polyglot !!! he knows almost every language every person speaks in the WVBA. He's not fluent in all of them, but he'll still happily translate for them, if their english is not the best, or if they simply feel more comfortable communicating in their native tongue.

- all the boxers have fanart walls. bear huggers fanart is either wholesome art of him holding or taking care of animals or scribbles of him eating a big raw fish. he thinks the latter r very funny.

- king hippo loves collecting little sea critter trinkets !!! he WILL infodump to you ab them. his favorite fish is the gulper eel, he looked at that fish and thought Hes just like me fr.

- glass joe is a disgruntled fashion snob. he WILL insult his fellow competitors' fashion tastes under his breath. army clothes? in a boxing ring? unfitting! leotards?! out of fashion! Even if other's overhear it, they just leave him be. He's the lowest ranking boxer of the WVBA, hes gotta release his frustration somehow, right?

- great tiger sometimes talks to his own clones if he needs advice or otherwise just wants someone to talk to. It helps him regulate his thoughts and emotions when hes overwhelmed.

- king hippo is the type to unintentionally spit some real wisdom. He even once (unintentionally) gave the materialistic super macho man an existential crisis w/ a pineapple metaphor. Don’t ask macho how, he’ll just spiral again.

- aran ryan, great tiger and piston hondo are in a constant prank war w/ eachother. if things go really awry, either bear hugger or mr sandman step in.

- king hippo's original ring name was ''the human hippo''. he changed it to ''king hippo'' after he became the minor circuit champion though. he, in a way, became king of the ring :)

- bald bull is quite the introverted guy, the press notwithstanding. he has a lot of energy that he can't always release onto a sparring partner. because of this, he's often an emotional mess that outs itself in pent-up aggression. additionally, most social situations are too overwhelming to him, even without the press, and the only opponent he can really equally spar with are his world circuit opponents and his punching bag.

- king hippo, bear hugger, great tiger and bald bull share a companionship for naming themselves after animals. They once tried to get super macho man to change his name to ''super macho shark'' and have mr sandman adopt a sheep gimmick.

- super macho man has ambitions to become the next us president. After he retires boxing, though.

#punch out #king hippo #aran ryan #great tiger #super macho man #bear hugger #disco kid #don flamenco #von kaiser #glass joe #piston hondo #piston honda #mr sandman #monkey brain typing #i am Totally Not projecting w/ some of these hcs #which ones? ill let you figure that one out :)

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stereopticons · 11 months

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An Addendum to Mournful Monday

So I’ve been reading everyone’s posts about their writing struggles and I found myself wanting to say two things: first, nothing you write is ever a waste, and second, your writing matters.

Sometimes you write things that you end up cutting or that don’t fit anywhere. Sometimes you write things that don’t get shared or published. But it’s not a waste. You still wrote! Writing is a skill, and like everything else, the more you do it, the better you’ll be at it. Sometimes, just flexing those muscles is enough. Sometimes it will even help shake loose the words you were hoping to write. I was struggling with getting the words to come out one time and the ever-wise @blackandwhiteandrose gave me a handful of random words and told me write 100 words using some or all of them. I wrote a 400-word ficlet that I’ve never published (maybe I will do that later, idk) but it made it easier to write the fic I was actually trying to work on.

When I was writing my dissertation, I had to cut huge sections because I ended up taking a piece out of the study that changed the background a lot. My advisor recommended that I never delete anything I write because you never know when you’ll need it again. So I created a file called trash (he objected to this title but i ignored him lol) and put everything I deleted in there. I’ve been done with my dissertation for a while but I have gone back to that trash file to use things I previously deleted. I also have a trash file for fic, for those sentences and paragraphs I love but can’t quite make them fit. It’s not a waste. It’s writing.

I think many of us are working with some degree of imposter syndrome. I would venture to say that probably the majority of people you think write the “best” (whatever that means to you!) have at one time or another, looked at something they wrote and said, “man, that is garbage. What is even the point”. For me, it happens at least once per fic. I call it my fic midlife crisis because it usually happens midway through writing. I start to doubt everything. The prose is clunky, the dialogue is out of character, the whole premise is flawed and doesn’t make sense. I usually message my friends and say, “can someone read this and tell me if it’s stupid” and they will usually read it and say something along the lines of “you’re overthinking this again, it’s great” and offer suggestions on where to go.

There are multiple posts floating around tumblr about how you can never see your art the way someone else sees it because you made it. My prose is always going to sound trite and overused to me because I wrote it and I’ve read it a thousand times. That doesn’t mean it’s bad or doesn’t have value. It just means I’ll never be able to experience it for the first time. But despite all of this, I guarantee that your fic has impacted someone somewhere. Maybe it made them laugh when they were having a bad day. Maybe you wrote a line that made them cry at their desk. Maybe you wrote something really hot that helped them discover something about themselves. It all matters.

#this was much longer than i intended #fandom stuff #writing

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pyjamaart · 2 months

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A looming presence... (A piece of fan art for Episode 11 of the Christmas Comeback Crisis)

Read more for an essay on all the memes and references ;)

So here it is. Finally. Only one month too late: This piece of CCC fan art I've worked on since the episode came out.

Sorry for the delay, but I just started at my new job this week and it's been a little stressful, so I didn't have much time to work on this. But now it's finally here!!! I gotta say, the hardest part by far was the background, lol. I didn't mean for it to escalate that much. At the end I was honestly running out of memes to draw.

I bet we can all agree that episode 11 of the Christmas Comeback Crisis was so worth the wait, right???? My god. Peak entertainment. I still can't believe I'm getting all this awesome lore and music for free, feels kinda criminal.

I'm so invested in this story, it's unreal. I can't wait to see how it will end. I can already tell it's gonna be pretty emotional. (And not to alarm anyone, but I have a slight feeling that the Voice is not gonna make it out of this story arc alive. I mean, after everything he's done, it's safe to say that he kinda deserves it. Of course I really don't want him to die, cause that would mean…….. Woodman would also have to die??? Otherwise the Voice will just keep coming back again and again because Woodman is keeping his memory alive…….. Oh man wait a moment….. I don't even want to think about that. Forget I said anything about this.)

Anyway, let's talk about this piece of art for a moment.

In the foreground, we have our brave protagonists. I really really like how Nozomi turned out, so I decided to make her my new icon from now on. Don't get me wrong, I love my old icon, but it's kinda zoomed out and you can't really make out any details when it's really small. So Nozomi it is. Meta Knights sword was shockingly difficult to draw, especially because I had to figure out how to draw it when he's holding it at an angle like that. Otherwise, drawing him was actually one of the easiest things about this whole thing. His design is really just two circles with some arms and armor. Figuring out how the circle tool in Gimp works has never felt this good. (Kinda crazy I can just draw him like this now, considering how obsessed with him I was when I was about 12-13 years old. Back then you had to download official renders of your favorite characters onto your computer, then print them out and hang them on your walls all around your room. Yeah I've always been like this.) Drawing Santa was really fun too, just his right hand was a little difficult. But that's just because I still can't draw hands in general. Maybe I should practice drawing hands more. (Naaaaaah I'm just kidding, I'll never do that.) Now that I'm looking at him again, he's also longingly staring at President Haltmann in the background. Doomed yaoi fr.

Speaking of the background, let's talk about that next. There's obviously the title-giving "looming presence" the Voice. I had his hands completely in the background at first, but I thought it looked cooler when they were hanging threateningly around Santa's shoulders. (You may ask yourself, 'man these hands look kinda alright for my usual hand drawing standards', and that is because I traced over pictures of my own hands. I love "cheating" at art.) I also gave him his stupid little bow tie and the colored buttons on his suit sleeves. Not only is that kinda my trademark for drawing him at this point, it's also supposed to show, that under all the threats and the evil villain persona, he's just kind of a loser. A real (male equivalent of a) girlfailure. That's why I made sure that half of the things shown in the background are there to make fun of him a little. I love the Voice dearly, but that's just what felt right.

And now let's get to the actual main course of this essay. I probably spent half the time working on this on the freaking background. I'm just gonna start in the top left corner and then go down each column and explain what each of these mean or what they reference. (Since there are some quite obscure ones in there.)

Let's start with the two ponies in the very top left. They're actually ponysonas of Nozomi Tojo (left) and Takane Shijou (right). Nozomi is an earth pony and has a tarot card as her cutie mark, specifically the ace of cups. Takane on the other hand is a unicorn and has some musical notes as her cutie mark, which you can't really see. I don't know enough about the Idolmaster to think of something more meaningful for her, sorry. ;)

Under that are Susie Haltmann and her father, President Haltmann. They were (after Woodman) the first characters I wanted to draw into the background. Susie has this black bar covering her face, since she was never really there to begin with. The whole story line with her father wanting to bring her back was actually so freaking sad. And when the Voice killed him in episode 11 and that image of Susie flashed on screen as the last thing he saw before he died….. Oof……… That's also why I drew that cursor looming next to her "window" about to click on the closing button. Haltmann himself is also the only character in the background to actually leave his little window, wanting to reach his daughter. He's also glaring at the Voice for causing him all of this grief and anger in the first place with his false promises.

Then there's…. ahem, "Hot robots in your area". With drawings of a random unnamed robot and Mettaton from Undertale. Which the Voice has apparently bookmarked. This is just a head canon, but I like to think he has a thing for robots, lol. ;)

Oh and on the left next to that on the very first column is Simpleflips' logo. Shoutouts to Simpleflips indeed.

Onto the next column. At the very top is Haruka Amami (also from the Idolmaster), who played a pretty huge role in the CCC, especially in the latest episode. That moment at the very end where she saved Grand Dad from certain death was just fantastic. Absolutely goated scene. She's kinda pressing her face against the window she's trapped in. I hope you can even see that from far away, haha.

Under that is one of the more obscure references. It's from a King for Another Day video, specifically one titled "The Hobart Hootenanny - SiIvaGunner: King for Another Day". It's a slideshow made of beautiful Hobart pictures. One that struck me personally the most was a little family picture of Hobart and the rapper Eminem, who was also a contestant in the KfAD tournament, looking lovingly over their son sitting in a cradle. Eminem is seen saying "Our son is beutiful". A truly touching photograph indeed. In that same slideshow is also another scene of Hobart together with the Voice, but we'll talk about that one later.

The next one is a reference to the CCC side story "I wanna thank me" and shows a pie chart with the election results that were discussed in that episode. Under the pie chart itself is a little box containing all the different parties and showing their respective percentages. On the left is a poster for the "Poké Poké Literature Party", showing Monika's head with the words "Just vote Monika" at the top of the poster. The words (and Misha.) are scribbled on the bottom, lest we forget that she's not running this party alone. This side story was first featured in the Christmas Comeback Crisis Watchalong in 2020, which was actually the first time I watched the CCC in its entirety. It all went downhill from there. ;)

Then there's the Voice's… thing? Object? Weird apparatus where no one really knows what it does or what its purpose is? Every time we see the Voice sitting in his office, this thing is sitting on his desk right next to him. There's been loads of jokes about its purpose. They've all been made before. I'm not going to repeat them. Only the Voice himself truly knows what this thing does. Probably. Could just be a decorative piece of art.

Then we have something veeeery self indulgent on the next column. It's Aquaman from Megaman 8 (With a not so subtle skull right next to him). You should all know by now that I'm the founding father of the Aquawood ship. And I also have the head canon that Woodman and the Voice are very divorced. Interpret into this whatever you want.

Next to Aquaman is the internets' favorite panel from the web comic Tails Gets Trolled. I fucking love that comic. If you haven't read it in its entirety, I highly recommend doing it. (Though be warned that it contains some pretty heavy topics, many many slurs and a plethora of gore.) Okay, maybe I don't recommend reading it. (Just read it with all of that in mind.)

Under that is a personal favorite joke of mine. It's supposed to be Spotify, with a playlist open that I created some time ago. I called it "Die Pizza Playlist" (Remember that die in German is just "the") which I always listen to when I'm baking my own pizza. Highlights include "Pizza" by Antilopen Gang, "Pizza Heroes" by Lemon Demon (You can actually see the album art for Spirit Phone on the left of the playlist.), "Pizza Pizza Pizza" from the Ratatouille musical and so on and so on. The first song in the playlist is obviously "We like pizza" by the Pizza kids, which is even playing in the image. On the side are two more music artists, at the bottom is the image for the Veggie Tales soundtrack, which also featured a song called "Pizza Angel". And over that is Mitski. I just feel like the Voice would listen to her music. Do not question me on this.

The audience laughs at the funny 7.

On the Voice's left shoulder sits a single green bean. It's flashing you a cheeky grin and a peace sign. While I didn't intend for this to happen, I accidentally referenced my own Woodman birthday gallery art from two years ago, where the bean also sits atop the Voice's shoulder. I know that next to "Yankin'", the bean is one of the most hated memes on SiIva, but I think he's just a silly little guy! :D

Let's head on over to the next column. Seems like the Voice has an incoming call from one of his guards, but he's ignoring it as he has more important things to do, like hovering intimidatingly over Santa Claus.

Next to that window on the right are the Voice's messages. I almost wrote "messanges". That would have been embarrassing, thank god I caught that in time. This is also (yet again) a little self indulgent, since the Voice apparently has the last message he sent Woodman pinned to the very top of his messenger app. His big triangular head is blocking most of it, but since I'm the artist, I can tell you exactly what it says: "Please call me back", which was sent on February 1st 2023, the day "The Disappearance of Woodman" was released. Yeah, I'm still very upset, how could you tell? :( Under that is a message to his trusty pizza guy asking for a pizza with extra cheese.

Next we have two of my favorite memes on the SiIvagunner channel (My absolute favorite being "Funny budots", since I never wrote that down anywhere.), one being Frisk Undertale becoming uncanny and the other one being the goat. I don't really know how to describe the goat, but apparently it was crafted by the same artist who made the stoned fox that's also very popular online?? I may just be stupid, but I didn't know about that until I looked up a reference for the goat. Since it often appears alongside Undertale and Deltarune, many have made the assumption that this is what Asriel would look like in real life. That's why Flowey is there next to it with an equal sign. Whoever drew up that calculation wasn't really sure of their work, which is why they drew a question mark right next to it. Between Frisk and the goat is a little Soul, also from Undertale/Deltarune.

Onto the next column, where I'm dropping very subtle hints that a specific character in this image might like pizza. Or might even be a little obsessed with it. On the left is a list with the contact details of three well known pizza chains, on the very top is Sonic the Hedgehog who just recently became a brand ambassador for Totino's and on the bottom right of this section is a flyer for some kind of pizza sale.

The next window contains my favorite joke of any rip on the entire SiIvaGunner Youtube Channel. "Peepoona 5. Let us shart the pants." Just typing this out is making me die of laughter yet again. (The rip in question is "Our Beginning - Persona 5".) But as you all know, I am very into toilet humor. That's why Aquaman is one of my favorite robot masters. And why I'm such a big fan of Youtube Poop. And why I watch Minion fart gun religiously. But enough of that, you get what I'm trying to say. I love funny poop jokes. That's why this is here.

Oh man. This next one is why I wanted to write this very detailed essay in the first place. A reference so obscure, even I can't find its origin anymore. And believe me, I tried. Thankfully, I took a screenshot of the original comment thread this was based on. A user called "The New Guy" commented on a SiIvaGunner rip, something along the lines about how much they enjoyed this specific rip. At the time, the comment had 920 likes, so I'm guessing it must have been a pretty popular video. (The comment should also be about 4 years old now?) Anyway, under that comment, someone asks them what their profile picture was from. They simply answered "wagon", since that was exactly what their profile picture showed. Someone on the SiIvaGunner team must have found this exchange so funny that they commented "wagon" as well. And that's the origin of this joke. If anyone knows which rip this is from pleeeeaaaase tell me. I need to know.

I don't think I need to explain who the next guy is. Just the love of my life. I specifically drew Woodman in his getup from the Nuclear Winter Festival, since that was the last time he appeared on the channel. He's looking kinda concerned in the general direction of the viewer, for obvious reasons. And right under him is his trademarked >:] emoji.

And last but certainly not least, the final column! Now I finally get to talk about this other scene from the Hobart Hootenanny. It shows Hobart and the Voice having a romantic stroll at a beautiful beach, while the sun is slowly setting in the background, making the water shimmer with its breathtaking colors. Okay, the last thing didn't really happen, since it's a shitty MS Paint drawing, but I like to imagine it did. Maybe I should draw a remake of this image one day. Now I'd like to quote the video in question: "A man and Hobart were walking together on the beach. He looked back and saw that in his times of sadness and need, there was only one set of footprints. He asked Hobart why he would leave him in his time of most need. Hobart simply turned to the man and said, VVVVVRRRRR SRRRRR RRRRGGGHHHH--" (Thank you SiIva Wiki for the transcription.) Now I don't think I need to explain why I drew Hobart in a bikini top and fishnets. The question answers itself.

The next image is actually quite easy to explain. It's mm5charge and smol Maki. In another universe, Chargeman and Maki might have been integral to the SiIvaGunner lore. This specific image is just stolen from my piece of fan art called "Megaman 5 Brainrot (featuring Acidman)", which I posted in 2022. I still head canon that Megaman and Love Live take place in the same universe. Just because I think it's funny. And because I want to see funny robot masters interact with the girlies from Love Live. How do I explain this? It's like…. balancing out the world? The robot masters are almost all male (with a few exceptions) and the characters shown in Love Live are all female. How would Thanos say? "Perfectly balanced, as all things should be." Don't question my cool head canons, okay?

After that we have a poster featuring the Jazz Cats! I really really love the little animations that showed their backstory when KfAD2 first came out. I don't know if it's okay for me to say this, but I also really really enjoy the song "But Not You" written (in universe) by Doge and Naxx. The text is veeeeeeery questionable, but man, does it sound good regardless… And shoutouts to wolfman1405 for the heavenly vocals.

On the right of that is a missing poster for Wade L.D.. Nothing much to explain here I guess.

Left of that is the Voices shopping list, which lists flour, oil, yeast… Wait a minute…. All of these are ingredients for pizza dough! Guys, I'm beginning to think that this guy might like pizza.

On the very bottom of this column is Mario 7 Grand Dad himself, who has his hostile gaze directed at the Voice. I would be pissed off too if someone kept me locked in a glass tube for 7 years.

The last little window just shows the Vineshroom with the words "fecal funny" written under it.

And with that, it is done. The entire background thoroughly explained. (I may have gone a little overboard this time.)

It's been a while since I posted new art, huh? In the meantime, a lot has happened. As I said before, I started a new job, got a tattoo of Woodman on my leg (best idea I've ever had btw) and I also started watching MLP, which explains the Love Live / Idolmaster ponysonas, lol.

And that's all I wanted to say. I hope that the next piece of art isn't that far off. Jenny out. (I think this might have been the longest essay I've ever written here. I'm so sorry. By which I mean, I'm not sorry at all. I'm not forcing anyone to read this.)

#welp im one month too late #but better late than never #i put my giant ass essay under the read more this time #open with caution its extremely fucking long because i got a little carried away #siivagunner #the voice inside your head #santa claus #nozomi tojo #smol nozomi #meta knight #president haltmann #susie haltmann #thats it im not tagging all of these guys #christmas comeback crisis #if you saw this posted to the wrong blog no you didnt #jumpscaring kirby fans with siivagunner art is my favorite hobby

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kaelio · 5 months

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DECEPTIVE MOVIE TRAILERS FOR DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE VAMPIRE CHRONICLES IF THEY WERE A CINEMATIC SERIES:

I love imagining misleading movie trailers, it's just a thing I do. If I had infinite money and time and a time machine and the rights to adapt the Anne Rice vampire novels, these are examples of extremely dishonest trailers for those movies I would enjoy:

Devil's Minion: Have it appear to be some kind of psychological thriller, either about a guy who is perceiving his stalker as a literal monster, or a guy who feels some Presence stalking him and envisions it as a mysterious, beautiful young man. He's not really my favorite but we need Christopher Nolan directing, like really hitting that Memento tone. What's real?? What's not real?? Daniel appears to be using drugs and the audience is like ohhh is this about addiction? And then it totally seems like a dark addiction metaphor, like Oscar bait maybe. Even when Daniel gets a handjob it isn't clear because Requiem for a Dream got a lot of awards.

(*Don't try to smoosh in with Queen of the Damned, you have enough going on here.)

Tale of The Body Thief: A romantic drama that doesn't seem to realize its intensely worrisome undercurrents (a la "Passengers"). We see a woman of the cloth ministering to a homeless man who, following a severe medical crisis that lands him in her care, seems to be having spiritual delusions. She connects with him over their shared faith... and their desire for meaningful intimacy. We get a swell of orchestral music... some sort of scene of them kissing in the rain... another scene from which we can infer they're in bed together, but the camera is centered on a crucifix on her wall. "I will find the power to come back to you..." he says.

Tale of The Body Thief (Part 2): Wham! Actually a lot of the audience doesn't realize that last trailer never gave you a title! Maybe they think it's a gimmick! It takes them a moment to realize this old man (Indiana Jones??) racing around the cruise ship is accompanied by the same actor as the homeless man described above. "GET THAT MAN!" David shouts as Raglan does some sort of parkour that isn't quite extreme enough to cue in the audience that he's supposed to be inhuman. We see Lestat-in-body pushing through people in a rave taking place on the cruise ship dance floor. It seems like a cynical tie-in because everyone is young and hot there (not really the primary demographic for cruises). Camera pans over some sort of jacuzzi tub with a bunch of women in bikinis in it. "Excuse me, ladies!" someone says as they jump over the tub and since he has a ripped shirt and he's hot the girls in the tub go "ooooooh!" And maybe they have cocktails so it's supposed to be funny. But really sell it as an action-comedy and then WHANG! "Tale of the Body Thief" appears in huge text onscreen like "COMING THIS SPRING" and Mojo's little head pops up from the bottom of the screen and barks.

The Vampire Lestat: Oh you just shoot it like The Favorite, like the exact same cinematography, or maybe Chevalier, but it's about a sensitive stage actor in pre-Revolutionary France, trying to focus on his art as the world becomes more fraught around him. It invites you into his sensitive artistic soul.... Is there time for gentleness, for optimism, for art, in an era of nascent conflict? What will social forces have in store for him, or for his troubled companion? And then maybe you do give away the game where at the last second you see the window explode and the big evil Nosferatu-Magnus bursts through the door with his big gummy mouth with the two fangs like "Rrrrraarrhg!!"

Memnoch the Devil: Starts with some overplayed song for 45-50 year old men in the background of a scene of Lestat and David stealing the artifacts from the dead Roger. Inter-cut with bits of Lestat dismembering Roger's body. They get into a car (no rooftops, Anne, it would look silly on screen! We can't!) and smirk at each other—apparent heist film. Lestat turns the knob for the radio and then another song for loser guys starts to play. "Dora's gonna get mad," David says, as if we're taking precious seconds of this trailer to no-homo the whole thing and establish regressive attitudes about women all at once. Lestat probably says something like "Chicks, man." The movie promises no actual content or any reason to be interested in it, as with most heist movies.

Memnoch the Devil: Hey? Is that the same guy? They're using the same guy for... what is this, a remake of It's A Wonderful Life? God this is worse than when Chris Pratt started voicing both Mario and Garfield. Find another actor!

Blood & Gold: We see a clawed hand sticking out of a glacier and suddenly... it moves!! Ice cracks around the hand! A huge, mysterious, looming figure bursts out of the ice, covered in rags and holding a giant battle axe!! Thunder and lightening appear in the background suddenly for no reason, and a song from Iron Maiden kicks in. Implies heavily that it's some sort of dark action film that may or may not be trying to lean on the popularity of Marvel's "Thor" movies. Like that Winnie the Pooh movie where he kills people. "THE OLDEST STORY..." the trailer narrator guy says, "... IS REVENGE"

The Vampire Armand: You start off with all of the boys sitting around, having a good time, talking about their futures, all the places they're planning to go, the things they want—like, highschool yearbook signing energy. And then there's this one kid who seems kind of smug and suddenly he's like, "pft, you guys, you think so small. You're focused about what the master can get you with his power... but I want the power 😏". And then you'd cut to him on his way up a big fancy marble staircase and you'd see him puffing himself up, excited, maybe even telling the narrator about the amazing situation he's in, but how since he's totally the favorite he's going to do what his peers are either too humble or doltish to consider: ask to learn the magic itself. And it's building tension and he's just-just-just about to ask and then you hear "No." Or "You're not ready. The magic isn't for you." Gives you this great set-up, like a Sorcerer's Apprentice thing. You're already in this kid's corner. How come he doesn't get the magic? Why would anyone try to keep someone from self-actualizing?? Not very cool. Anyway this would be almost exactly the same energy as the trailer for that new Disney movie Wish.

#the vampire chronicles #tvc #I can't explain why I love to do this but I do #plays on the back of my eyelids when I drive. cars in front of me as well.

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niqhtlord01 · 5 months

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man, i love your writing, but i really dont like the use of ai imagery. i feel like i cant ethically support your stuff if youre gonna tack ai pictures onto it, given ai is all trained on stolen stuff, yknow?

It is understandable given the current climate of AI.

I've made my thoughts about AI related content known with previous posts. To me it is just a fun medium to help expand my stories into a visual perspective. The majority of pictures I posted have either the artist name attached to it or specifically calls out that it is AI generated so there is no confusion. The only art I do claim partial ownership to are the pieces I have paid for with commissions from real artists, who are also then tagged in them as well.

And as always, if an artist stepped forward and gave me proof that a piece I posted used stolen designs from one of their pictures I would credit them as well in the sense of fairness.

That being said the majority of my stories do not include AI generated artwork. Out of the 550+ stories I have written I would wager maybe 40 have an AI image attached to them.

Stories of love an loss, real world social problems, massive scifi battles and duels, and the occasional funny bit of a human having an existential crisis when an Alien thinks that pacman must keep devouring pills to keep the ghosts of his past from getting him and destroying any semblance of a hopeful future.

The pictures may be AI, but the stories they stand for are still all me :)

#humans are insane #humans are space oddities #humans are weird #humans are space orcs #scifi #story #niqhtlord01 #ai generated content discussion

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iiyarada · 2 months

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Okay @hateweasel fine. I will say my thoughts.

Putting this under a cut because it's a LONG post.

Renault has been in Bonnard's house since 7, he says so himself, everybody knows this. He is a victim of Bonnard's grooming just as Gilbert is, he was raised by Bonnard (which is, side note, terrifying to think about!)

It's also commonly known that Renault is the son of a farmer in Southern Italy. In the 1870s, when Renault wouldve been taken by Bonnard, Italy was going through a HUGE Agrarian Crisis, many farmers ended up landless or their plots grew smaller and smaller, causing low income across farming communities throughout Italy. In 1900 many emigrants were actually driven off their own land. Renault's family was dirt poor, RENAULT was dirt poor, and he was taken in by a rich man who gave him a luxurious life even for that of a servant. To a 7 year old, that's everything. Bonnard is not only a father figure (again, terrifying to think about) but is ALSO the man who "saved" Renault from poverty.

On top of that, Renault is canonically described as Bonnard's "favorite disciple" (it says this in an art book), he's complimented and showered with praises by him, he's given attention and is told he's someones favorite, and he has been since 7 years old.

Now for all of that to be taken away because some guy shows up in YOUR house? Suddenly this stranger is the favorite and you're left behind? That's going to hurt! None of this is Gilbert's fault, nor is it Renault's, all of the blame falls on Bonnard. But Renault can't blame Bonnard because, to Renault, he can't be a bad guy, he was that one that saved him! He's not a bad guy, GILBERT is the bad guy here! (He's not, obviously, but Renault has been groomed into the mindset that Bonnard can't do wrong, even though he very much can and very much does).

Okay now, when it comes to this scene! The Renault stabbing scene. I think it's fairly clear that Renault doesn't ACTUALLY want to hurt Gilbert, Gilbert himself says afterward that Renault was scared and that his grip was weak and shakey. The initial thought of stabbing Gilbert with the knife is a thought that Renault DOESN'T want, he wants to get rid of Gilbert, sure, but he doesn't want to hurt him.

He's scared of his own thoughts of hurting Gilbert.

In the actual fight scene between them, Renault puts Gilbert in a chokehold (once again, described by Gilbert as weak and shakey) amd there's some sculpting tool on the ground. Renault's plan is that Gilbert will grab the tool to stab RENAULT in self defense.

In Renault's mind, if HE gets hurt by GILBERT, then Gilbert will have to leave and Renault will get attention from Bonnard again, because he was the one who got hurt. This is a drastic way of thinking but it also makes sense if you're a victim of grooming and believe you're at risk of losing the only person you can trust (Bonnard is not trustworthy at all, please keep in mind that Renault has been manipulated since 7.)

That doesn't work. Obviously. And Gilbert stabs himself in the arm instead, leading Bonnard to believe that Renault really did stab him, which results in Renault being given a bloody nose by Bonnard.

Side Tangent: That scene makes me so so sad not just because it shows how Bonnard is physically abusive to his servants, including the one he deems his "favorite" but also because Renault is still willing to forgive Bonnard afterwards. He still goes out of his way to make sure BONNARD is okay instead of himself even after he was hit by him. It's incredibly sad but also, unfortunately, realistic to how people in similar situations to Renault will act. It's just really sad.

Btw, Bonnard only stops hitting Renault when Gilbert steps in and says thet he was the one who stabbed himself because APPARENTLY one bloody nose wasn't enough.

Renault doesn't hate Gilbert, they actually seem to get along pretty damn well after the stabbing scene. They start planting flowers together and Renault tries to protect Gilbert from Auguste when he shows up, even calling Gilbert a member of the household ("I will not let you take a member of this household by force!"). From the few panels we get to see of Renault and Gilbert's dynamic, WITHOUT Bonnard getting in the way, they act a bit like brothers. (I've made a post on how Renault acts like am older brother before and how he probably picked that hp from his OWN older brothers). We just don't get enough of Renault and Gilbert together for them to actually build upon that relationship, because of course, Bonnard and Auguste get in the way again.

THEY are the villains here, they are the ones that want to hurt people, the ones who made Renault and Gilbert so reliant to the point that they become irrational and scared if their abusers - who happen to be the people that raised them- show signs of leaving.

If the roles were reversed, and Renault was the one to run away and live with Gilbert, and Auguste began doting on Renault and ignoring Gilbert, I 100% believe Gilbert would've reacted in a similar way Renault did. That's why they're parallels to one another.

TL;DR Renault doesn't want to hurt anyone, he just wants to be loved, and the person who "loves" him, just so happens to be an abusive creep who's manipulated Renault in having to rely on him for everything. His actions come from a place of fear, not hatred. Fear of losing his parental figure, fear of losing the place he lives in, fear of losing someone that "loves" him, the fear of losing everything.

This entire rant is kind of messy and I apologize for that, I just wanted to write but I didn't plan in advance I was just winging it, point is:

Renault Agricola I will always defend you 🫡

#I could go on about the implications of Renault being an SA survivor #which i'm 99% sure is the case #and im not just saying that as a random headcanon im saying that as an SA survivor myself #But I was trying to make this post about the stabbing scene specifically #BUT i digress. Maybe I will post that eventually or maybe i will keep it to twitter #Renault is so important to me you guys have no idea #kaze to ki no uta #kazeki #風と木の詩 #renault agricola #muu says shit

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greypetrel · 2 months

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1, 7, 13, and 24 for the fandom asks!

Hi Mo! Quicker than a lightning!

Tis the prompt list

1. List 3 positive things about your current fandom(s)

I know this could all depend on the small bubble I created around me, in the years I grew at least a bit proficient in curating my experience online but... I am surprised and amazed at how active and welcoming this fandom is. And how adult. Speaking of Dragon Age. With my utmost surprise, the fandom is still active and ready to engage after all these years. People are active and producing content, and welcoming and kind enough to comment and compliment. I am not the kind of person that randomly befriends others... But the environment pushed me to produce more and to get in contact with more people, fangirl in tags with less fear of being judged. With more adult people that knew how to disagree in a productive way (on fiction of course, we're not talking of human rights). I am happy to say I made some friends and changed my minds over some characters and things my in-game experiences made me overlook, and without being shamed for thinking otherwise ONCE. it still amazes me. (and it all happened in a very dark year, so if you're here reading: my deepest thank you, really <3)

7. Your favorite tropes to read/write/draw

Bisexual Cullen needs to be first, of course. Many of you are here for those comics. Solas yes could be a villain, but I prefer to think he's a grumpy old man who has absolutely NO idea of how to people, and is just acting out of pure, unadultered panic. Sera is treated WAY better by fandom than by the game, sorry not sorry. I recently discovered that the scout that interrupts the first romance cutscene with Cullen is NOT called Jim in canon and my brains refuse to entertain the idea. Fenris and Merrill being friends. Dad-Bod Cullen.

It all depends on how people build things up.

13. your favorite type of fandom event (gift exchange, ship week, secret santa, prompt meme, etc)

I'm big on weekly events with prompt lists! And I do like gifts exchanges quite a lot with mutuals, without much obligations on both parts. :)

24. how has fandom positively impacted your life?

As above, I entered the fandom in a bad moment of my life, with little time. My original works tend to be heavy on research, and I had little time for that (and I was already in crisis with one). So, I restored to fanart to relax.

Fandom has brought me back to see art as a hobby and something I do for pleasure and not as a job. It had brought me back to write prose, made me meet many lovely people I am so happy to chat with! Which in the end brought me to experiment more on art, learn something new...

It has come in the perfect moment, and I'm happy to say I'm now, thanks to fandom, working on a new original project that doesn't stress me out as much. It's still soon to say something and I have nothing to show but... Eh. :)

It carried me through a difficult year and gave me some joy and some friends, for which I'm extremely grateful for. <3

#love your fandom ask #petrel replies #too sappy? Oh well

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nimilla · 2 months

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My beloveds, Ziance 💝

⁛⁘⁛⁘⁛⁘⁛⁘⁛⁘⁛⁘⁛⁘⁛⁘⁛⁘⁛⁘⁛⁘⁛⁘⁛⁘⁛⁘⁛⁘⁛⁘⁛⁘⁛

I've officially simped for Lance for two years straight! And yesterday was the anniversary of the day I started to simp... I'm very sad that I could not draw anything for the day, and well, time to share some old art of Ziance! Again...

Along with some silly ramblings below! :'))

Lance is the only fictional character that makes me officially simp for a fictional character! I have loved many characters throughout my life and none of them really stuck with me for years. Lots of them come and go while some are just seasons or just a few months. But Lance... He did not go away, he remains. Not a single day where I don't think about him at all, and even if I don't think about him much, he is still there as dust.

Lance has become my comfort character, too, during my artist crisis, and he makes me the artist I am now. He gets me out of my comfort zone often since I don't believe I would EVER draw a muscular man (since I'm not fond of them), but Lance changes that. I also don't think I could do another OC x Canon much until Ziana came. If it wasn't for Lance, I don't think I would ever enjoy drawing my OCs again as I have in the past... (believe me, I used to love drawing my OCs, but when I changed into 'Nimilla'Arts, I never wanted to draw my OCs again due to my past self...) and Lance gave me that confidence again. He made me happy to draw Ziana, and back to being an OC x Canon artist :) (even if it's... cringe...)

I don't know what Lance has on me, but I really love him and I don't think I'll be changing my love for him with the fact that I have simped for two years straight! Every day, I think about him 🥰

He is always my number one fictional hubby! 💍

I love my pink-haired pixel hubby very much...

#➷ thoughts of nimilla #➷ art of nimilla #Ziance #SVE Lance #Farmer Ziana #pretty much it was my anniversary with Lance huehuehue #I LOVE HIM FOREVER!!

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nwarrior777 · 7 months

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life update

tw: vent, sad, life crisis, identity crisis

advice ONLY if you have something really similar. hugs and specific commentary of support (like "giving you some cookies!!! or giving you yellow blanket!!) are encouraged

well i definitely didn't expect to get exsistential crisis by now

i mean i always thought that i know who i am i know what i want but like...

i had conversation with grandma, we talked about why are my bags so big, and i was like, it's just me, i don't have home, i don't have place or furniture. i only have my clothes and fancy little things and art. i only have me, and it's all it that very heavy 2 bags. and i said, but isn't it sad that everything i have at 26 is only 2 bags. i lam just 2 bags.

and she was like, but don't you have you like. in your head?

and. i started thinking about it. and now i an spiraling because i thought i got this question long time ago.

i mean. i have life goal. but it's life goal. it's not the answer to the question "who are you?". my life goal is to try to bring people around love and good and kindness. to try to be good human.

and. it's always "try" so i even can't say that i am a good human. actually i figured out that i am kinda suck on that... i am good with giving kind to strangers but. i think i am not the best person to be close with? i don't know... i am a bad person? again? did i fucked up again? eh.... i thought i was... i don't know. good at least at trying. i don't want to be in that years again... and in that feelings.... but i think i need to dive into that. because that is trying to be good person is about - you should work on yourself. but this is so fckin painfull

also i am artist. well yes but... everyone is an artist? we all have blogs and etc..... we express our visions and takes and opinions. i guess its art

and i am tired of it too... i feel like i am streaming 24/7 like, i am a Content Maker. everything i do is like....... its art art art content content content. i cant live for myself

and then i am trying to its not working. because if i will not make a photo, if i will not make a meme a post or a drawing i wil forget it. because i have bad memory. i cant hold anything in it

and i am obsessed with idea of saving my legacy. my art my. existent. i want it not to be just. dissapered. its kinda done - nobody will take away emotions which i gave you and emotions which you gave me with your feedback. they will not take expirience. and some of my art is already in safe place. see, i am too much on it

i worked so hard to make that "queer bitch gothhhicccc queen cool queer artist and a kind human" """ brand""""

but like. am i like. am i this? what makes a person a person. i don't feel. like a person

i don't feel like a human. i feel like some. poetic. image

and, please not laught, i am serious its not a fucking meme but. i feel so much like Izzy from ofmd now?... and... always feel????

my costume-gothic-bitch era started after seeing him. i opened in me new gender. that my horns - thanks to him, i bought them on festival where i went to in izzy cosplay. and that poetic symbol of a man. a guy with Moral Duty Standarts from some. ballad song. A rock

and how??? how is this. how they posted this season RIGHT in the time. then i cracked. and he too

what to do then you thought you had solid as a rock personality. but it was something different. what is it means to be a human. tell me, izzy

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timecma · 11 months

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i'm curious - when and why did xanthous become your favorite character?

for me it was chapter 8 of atom lol

Oh boy, alright this is where I really start to show my age haha. The Land of Stories: The Wishing Spell came out when I was in middle school. One of my friends recommended it to me and I decided to read it because escapism was my only way to cope (😭). Well, when I got to the chapter where it showed the Fairy Council, I immediately was hooked on Xanthous. Solely for the fact that he was the only guy there. It kind of stood out to me because I was also the only guy in a friend group full of girls. Obviously it was because I was gay but that was back when I was still in denial and didn’t understand myself fully.

Well, I hyperfixated on this guy since it just reflected my own kind of situation. Literally like 2012-2013. Back then. Boy howdy, you wouldn’t even believe how I felt when I realized this guy was gay too. Anyway, as the books kept coming out, I kept requesting them from the library, and boom. Xanthous kept showing up. In book 2 he was there. In book 3 he was there. In 4 too for a bit, and then 5 rolled around and we got Conner’s off-brand, straight-coded, adrenaline junkie version (Blaze), and he came back for a bit in book 6. It was crazy. He had been my favorite character since The Wishing Spell. I thought he was going to die in book 6, but he made it out. When I tell you my heart was beating out of my chest you better believe it.

But, then. Then. A Tale of Magic came out. I was in college by then, going through the motions while having thought The Land of Stories was done until the sequel. When I tell you the amount of excitement I got when I saw my favorite character was getting an origin story sent me through the roof, I mean it. By then, Xanthous was a household name. My sister also loves the series and we had collaborated on a piece for the Book Hugger’s Guide—and it got in! (I tell this to everyone since they all get confused, but the name on it is hers because she’s older than me and if you were of a certain age when submitting it then you didn’t have to get parental permission, so she submitted it and you could only get one name on it so here we are. But you might recognize a bit of the anime/manga style that I’ve now expanded upon and improved. That was a reeeeeally long time ago anyway haha. I also did one for the A Tale of Sorcery Zoom Webinar and got it in there too, and I asked my sister if she wanted to help on it a bit, but all she really did was add some sparkles to what I had already done. Nonetheless, she still contributed a bit like she had the first time around. She doesn’t do much with the series anymore these days—but she and I were always kind of a team when it came to art back then.)

Also when I say that Xanthous is a household name, I mean that literally. Anyone who knows me irl knows Xanthous—especially because he now physically exists in my life. When I tell you this man has been the Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime password star I mean it. Literally. It’s always his name prefaced or followed by some random string of numbers and symbols. It’ll always have Xanthous in there somewhere. My whole entire family knows about this guy—that’s how much of my favorite character he is.

When I realized Xanthous was gay and basically had a version of the childhood I did…my world was flipped upside-down. Suddenly I knew wayyy too much about this man. Suddenly his experiences were my own and I felt kind of weird about it, not going to lie. I think it’s cool though how Chris Colfer actually came out and said he was gay and gave him a boyfriend (we also love Elrik in this house). A part of me always kind of…knew? That he was gay?? Like I could sense it with my gaydar through the books and their pages. You can smell it on this guy. You won’t believe how funny it was when I saw he had that crisis in the antique store scene in A Tale of Sorcery. Ah, that brought back memories for me personally. Except I wasn’t in an antique store, I was sitting down with friends at a get together and someone clocked me as gay and I panicked.

Anyway, Xanthous has been my favorite character for many, many, many years. I’ve got old art of him too, but I’m definitely not going to show it because it’s also art I made back when I was in the closet and trying to not let anyone realize I was a boy who liked to kiss boys lol. It’s a bit embarrassing haha.

But yeah! Xanthous’s character has always been a source of…comfort for me. I think he’s super neat and his character has such a wide arc of growth it’s insane. He’s also more complex than the others—not adhering to a specific style of character between the prequel and the main series. He feels more real. More human. More like how I do kind of haha. At first I liked him because I liked the idea that he was kind of like me.

And then he REALLY became kind of like me.

And the rest is history 😁

#the land of stories #a tale of magic #ask me anything #tlos #xanthous #xanthous hayfield #anon ask #anon answered

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