#me trying to write

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

Okay, hear me out. I can't stop thinking about how hard it would be trying to surprise Izana. So I needed to write something about it!

Headcanon + a little drabble of Izana x gn!reader.

Warnings: it's Izana so... Yandere tendencies (I mean, it's kinda canon that he's possessive as fuck xD)

English is not my first language, be kind please 🙈

HEADCANON:

Usually, you don't mind how clingy Izana can be.

You love spending time with your boyfriend, so even if he can be a little or a lot overprotective and possessive you're okay with it.

Except, when you want to give him a surprise.

Buying a present for Izana in secret it's almost an impossible mission.

Even if you manage to go shopping alone (how? Who knows), he would make some Tenjiku member follow you around.

Well, he would make Kakucho follow you around. He doesn't trust anyone else with you.

Luckily for you, Kakucho realizes what you're doing and ends up helping you to choose the perfect present for Izana (really, Kakucho have too much patient with his king, he deserves the world).

After that, you always ask for Kakucho's help when you are planning any type of surprise for your boyfriend.

Izana wasn't happy.

At all.

He was planning on spending the afternoon with you, cuddleling together. But, apparently, you didn't have time for him.

How dared you? Izana was your boyfriend, why on Earth he couldn't be resting on your lap right now?

So, of course, Izana was raging.

After beating up a few idiots that had the bad luck of existing "too loudly", he was venting to Kakucho.

"I don't get it! What could be more important for them than me, exactly? They are mine!"

Kakucho just sighed, completly used to Izana's tantrums at this point.

"Izana, today is 13th of February."

The scarred boy replied calmly, hoping his king would take the hint.

"So?"

"That means tomorrow is Valentine's Day."

Oh.

Oh.

Just like that, Izana's wrath disappeared completly. A soft smile on his face.

His gang could breathe again.

#izana kurokawa x reader #yandere izana #yandere izana x reader #kurokawa izana #izana headcanons #izana kurokawa #kakucho #poor kakucho #tokyo revengers headcanons #tokyo revengers #me trying to write #me writing🌻

[missluthorwillseeyounow]

What do you do when someone you love is a psychopath and a serial killer? How do you pick up your life and move on from it?

If you're Lionel Luthor, you don't. Your son betrays you and the legacy you built for him, and so your heart betrays you too. You sit at your desk with those damn pills your quack of a doctor prescribed and one too many drinks. You feel a warning twinge on your arm before excruciating pain, red and angry, blooms in your chest, and you never see the morning. 

The only good thing about this is that you never see your son go to trial for killing 47 people over a span of 6 years. People whisper that you are one of Lex Luthor’s victims.

If you���re Lillian Luthor, you don’t either. You clean the damned mess these Luthor men left you. You take over the company that your husband had the gall to leave you, just as he left you with your only daughter. You clean up the tatters of your family’s reputation and legacy that your son left behind. 

In the eyes of the world, you move on. You rise, finally able to flex the muscles so long held back by your husband and the rest of the world's expectations. And you bring Luthor Corp with you. 

The millstone of the trials and scandal hang heavy on your neck, but all your life you have taught yourself to walk gracefully among lesser beings with your back straight and your head held high, just as you did as a young girl with textbooks on your head. This is no different.

But once a month, you make a pilgrimage to Stryker’s Island. To Lex. To the son you loved the best way you knew how, the only way you knew how - with a firm grip and the relentless, uncompromising push to achieve excellence, the intractable determination to make him grow into his fullest potential. That this potential was realized in murder, malice and manipulation was not your intent, but the world is far too quick and vindictive in their judgement because he is a Luthor. The mightiest always fall the farthest, and those beneath them wait hungrily for the chance to pull them down.

Your daughter leaves you too. The daughter who emerged, not from your body, but from your husband's infidelity. The same one who once looked up at you with eyes full of innocent trust that you vowed you would reciprocate in the best way you knew how. And so you did your best to prepare her, to mold her in your own image - into what a Luthor woman should be in this cruel, savage world that both worships and hates Luthors. 

You’ve seen what the world does to Luthors who do or say the smallest wrong thing and you never want her to suffer those whispers and so you tell her yourself. Better she hears it from family than the mouths and forked tongues of strangers.

But she is too hard-headed and too soft-hearted to comply. She rejects your bequest, the ungrateful girl, and tries to escape the Lena Luthor you tried so hard to cultivate all these years. 

As if you don't know. As if you could forget that it was her who brought this down upon all of you. Her, and that detestable Clark Kent. 

And if you are Lena Luthor, you cannot move on. You cannot escape it. No matter how far you stray from your family. No matter how many reparations you make, no matter how hard you strive to separate yourself from the curse it brings -- it always finds you.

It finds you in the dark hours when you’re by yourself without the touch of another woman or the burn of alcohol to distract you - and suddenly you’re a scared little girl again, walking into an ominous house made of grim oak, unforgiving marble and dark shadows. And the only warmth you receive is not from a largely absent and formidable father nor from a condescending and controlling mother, but from a charismatic and mercurial brother who taught you how to play chess and promised you the world.

But it turns out his shadow was the darkest of all, and you didn't see until it was too late.

How could you not see it?

You were just a girl at that time, Agent J'onzz once tried to comfort you with that fact. Back when Lex was arrested.

Just a schoolgirl home for the holidays -- shoes polished as bright as the naivete in your eyes, uniform pressed to Lillian's exact standards, picture perfect but always with just one tiny detail you forgot that was enough to attract notice and invite criticism. This time it was the glasses sitting slightly crooked on your face. 

You were more concerned with weathering the scorching disapproval just long enough until you got back to boarding school that you failed to notice Lex's distance. You failed to recognize the signs. You failed to decode his lies.

You failed.

By the time you got back to boarding school, he would have killed 2 more people.

By the time you caught on, he'd already killed 31. Those lives are all on you, because you were so absorbed by yourself, you didn't see what was happening under your nose. And those 3 agents Lex killed because he refused to come quietly? The judge and jury he poisoned at the trial? That's on you too.

Forty-seven lives taken. Forty seven more than there should have been if you hadn't been so blind. 

If only you hadn't been comforted by the gentle hand holding yours under the table throughout Lillian's litanies of your shortcomings everytime you were home from school. If only you hadn't fallen for the "adventures" he had tricked you into that always ended with you in disgrace or punished, like that time you stole Lionel's prized pen from the King of Jordan, just for him. 

If only you hadn't believed the fairy-tale dream of the two of you escaping to the snow-covered mountain peak, of finally being free of the Luthors’ oppressive presence.

And now he's serving 20 consecutive life sentences, and you've devoted your life to studying and stopping people like him.

Now you have 10 years of experience as a profiler and an undercover operative for both the Interpol and the FBI. Your work has taken you from Toran, to Kaznia, to Corto Maltese, to Metropolis, and now to National City.

You have seen the worst humanity has to offer, from terrorists to human traffickers to serial killers. But you keep looking into the abyss.

Because you looked into it once, you stared it in the face, and you didn't recognize it for what it was. 

_________

Or, a Supercorp Criminal Minds AU

There's actually 3 major plots in this, and they all intersect in varying ways

The first is Lex as a serial killer

The second is about Sam and Reign

The third is the most vague one, which includes Lena’s birth mother and Leviathan

It starts (as the intro says) with Lex being a serial killer who killed 47 people. In one version of this story, Clark is a reporter who, like Lena,  made the connection between Lex and the murders. One night after dinner  with the Luthors, Clark sneaks into Lex’s study to find evidence he can use for his story. 

He’s rummaging in a desk when he hears a voice from the doorway.

“You  won’t find anything there.” Clark whips around to find Lena standing  there, silhouetted against the light coming from the hall. He tenses,  thinking she’s about to tell her brother what Clark was doing. 

“If  Lex really is behind these murders, and I know you think he is, you  won’t find anything there. He’s not foolish enough to hide evidence  here." 

Clark doesn’t say anything, he just stares at her.  Lena pauses, looking away. "I… I didn’t want to believe it. Not Lex… He  wouldn’t…” Steel injects itself into her green gaze. “But the more time I  spend with him, the more clearly I see the truth. You see it too, don’t  you?" 

Clark straightens up and nods gravely. “Yes.”

The FBI eventually becomes involved in the investigation, and the team includes a certain agent on the fast track to becoming the unit chief, J’onn J’onzz.

J’onn meets Lena only briefly, but he’s struck by the young girl’s keen intelligence and remarkable calm. (Eventually, he becomes the one who suggests that Lena consider a career in profiling and criminal psychology).

Fast forward a couple of decades later, Lena is working with the BAU. The other members of the team here are J'onn, Alex, James, Brainy and Winn. Lena is a transfer from Interpol, and she's had years of experience in profiling, suspect and victim identification, as well as infiltration, under her belt (I also hc that she worked briefly with the CIA and the MI6, mostly in intel, profiling and undercover work).

For the sake of her anonymity (and also because it was necessary for her undercover work), she's erased all connections to Lex and the Luthors (including old photographs and newspaper articles until the name Lena Luthor is but a footnote in the Luthor history with nothing to tie her to who she is now). She's also changed her last name. (I'm torn because I just don't know if I can use the name Walsh for Lena, it doesn't sound.. right? Idk So for now, she's Agent Kieran).

Lena is very professional, almost intimidating. She’s revered by the younger agents in the Bureau, well-respected by her colleagues and highly praised by her superiors. But she's very guarded and keeps everyone at arm's length, doesn't go out for after-work drinks with the others, practically sleeps with one eye open — years of working undercover and living with a serial killer will do that to you.

Until a certain promising young recruit comes along.

Kara is new in town — the adopted sister of Alex Danvers, the cousin of one of J'onn's old friends (I don't think teaming family members up is actually allowed in the FBI, so some suspension of disbelief is required here). Lena is assigned to oversee her training and transition into the team herself.

Kara's sunny demeanor couldn't clash more with Lena's icy, professional facade. Lena approaches the task with thinly-veiled impatience and something remarkably close to disdain.

However, Kara quickly proves to be more than a perky attitude and a pretty smile. She squirms at blood, which Lena is quick to exploit at first (What FBI profiler can't stand the sight of a corpse? "We profile serial killers here, not celebrities in high-waisted jeans.").

But Kara displays true empathy to the victims and their families, she's sensitive to other people's emotions and knows just what to say to get a reluctant victim or witness talking. She's extremely dedicated to catching the unsubs, and relentless in her investigation. Not to mention, she's extremely handy to have around in a crisis.

Lena finds this last part out when they're on a case, trying to find a missing girl.

The team is headed to the unsub's apartment, but on a hunch, Lena heads to an abandoned warehouse near the apartment, with only Kara as backup. They enter the warehouse, and just as they're clearing the rooms and checking for the missing girl, the unsub attacks Lena and manages to pin her to the ground, choking her. Kara gets there just in time to shoot the unsub in the leg, saving Lena's life.

Later that evening, Kara and the rest of the team go to the bar to celebrate. Lena is absent, as usual.

Just as Kara is getting another round of drinks at the bar, a low, smoky voice interrupts her. "Didn't profile you as a drinker, Danvers.”

Kara squeaks, nearly dropping the drinks, and turns to see Lena smirking behind her. “I wonder what other surprises you're hiding behind those glasses and cardigans."

"Agent Kieran! I didn’t expect to see you here— No, these aren't all for me, I— " Lena's face softens at Kara's babbling, and she takes a few of the shot glasses from Kara's hands.

"You know, I have a rule..." A wry smile lifts one corner of her lipsticked mouth. "Anyone who saves my life gets to call me Lena."

Kara blushes profusely at the other woman’s arched eyebrow. "Well then, if I'm calling you Lena..."

Lena smirks. "Kara it is, then."

For the first time — much to the gaping surprise of the rest of the team she's worked with for years — Lena joins them for a post-case drink.

To everyone's — and no one's — surprise, the pair quickly become the best of friends.

Two days into their friendship, Lena starts jokingly calling Kara Supergirl. Three weeks later, they start grabbing lunch together. Three months in, Kara sends Lena a video of herself petting a St. Bernard on the street only to be bowled over in a mass of furry paws and puppy licks — and the cadets Lena is training are even more bowled over to hear the "Ice Queen" laugh. Of course, they're later treated with a scorching glare and a sharp reprimand, but it's a revelation just to discover that she's actually physically capable of laughing.

By six months, the whole department is in a secret "will they or won't they" betting pool. A year in, and every other department has stakes in the pool (Alex publicly condemns the pool, but secretly bets a hundred bucks that "they will" by winter).

One time while they're eating lunch together, Kara tells Lena why she became a profiler when her career was in journalism.

"It just felt... too late. I'd be covering these stories about these terrible things, people who were already victims, and I thought... it's too late... Don't get me wrong, I loved being a reporter. Journalism was a way to bring truth out there, to give voices to these victims, but.... I wanted - needed - to do something more. I wanted to stop these things from happening. To keep these people from becoming victims."

But despite their growing closeness, Lena has yet to tell Kara about Lex, or about her life before the BAU.

She doesn't tell Kara about the woman she'd loved once, who hates her now because of the lies Lena told her. She doesn't tell her about Reign. She doesn’t tell Kara about the sweet young girl living far, far away, who plays soccer and loves to sing and read. The little girl Lena loves from afar, but knows only through secret updates from James, because it's for her own good.

Because that sweet little girl that Lena hasn't seen since she was a baby deserves to live a life that's whole and good — away from those who love her, but could hurt her. Whether she's thinking about Sam or herself, Lena doesn't know.

There are too many secrets, Lena decides, as she shoves them all one by one into their little boxes, clamping the lid securely shut. Kara is too good to be tainted by any of them.

Kara, who gets squeamish at the sight of blood, but resolutely hunts each killer like an avenging angel. Kara, who somehow, somehow still believes in the good in people.

And when she realizes that there is very little of that to be found in Lena Kieran or Lena Luthor, Kara will hate her as much as Lena hates herself.

But then the day comes when Lena receives a package in the mail.

She reaches in and pulls out two things: one, a chess piece — the white knight — and the other, a surveillance photo of Kara and Lena having lunch together.

On the back of the photograph are three cryptic little words that fill her with dread: “See you soon, sis.”

Panic overrides logic and years of training, and Lena stashes the package and its cursed contents into her safe. Heart racing, she calls the warden at Strykers. It takes several favors, but she manages to procure video footage confirming that her brother is still incarcerated. Despite the visual confirmation, she doesn’t sleep a wink that night, nor the night after.

Everything is quiet after that, so quiet that Lena is almost lulled, if not into a sense of complacency, then at least a state of less vigilance. Everyone needs a breather, a reprieve from paranoia at some point, and that is exactly what Lex is counting on.

A string of seemingly-unrelated murders heralds Lex's return, luring the BAU — and Lena — closer and closer. Lena knows she should leave, and leave soon. The closer the team gets to figuring out it's Lex, the more danger they're in — not just Kara, but the rest of the team that Lena has now come to care for.

But Kara, being Kara, holds onto Lena and keeps her from leaving.

Kara knows her too well now. She knows that something is wrong. She pushes without pushing, in that earnest yet respectful way, relentless in her concern for the people she cares about, yet still mindful and considerate in her efforts. It's one of the things Lena loves about her.

And then, after coming home from a case one night — Kara is shot by an intruder in her apartment.

The whole team is thrown into chaos trying to find Kara’s assailant. They all agree that the attack cannot be random, but there’s a frustrating lack of evidence anywhere.

But Lena knows.

The lack of clues is a glaring clue in and of itself. She knows this is Lex’s handiwork. Her brother’s way of getting back at her for “telling on him”, just like he used to when they were children. Except the stakes are infinitely higher this time, and he has gone too far.

And Lena — who should've known — didn't prevent it. She was too selfish, too greedy, wanting more time — more time with Kara, more time with her team, her family — and now this is the result.

Lena knows that Lex will go after everything and everyone she loves, because he wants to hurt her. Luthors are not raised on half-measures. Win the game, or burn the board. He will not stop, Lena knows this. Not until either of them is dead.

While half the team is waiting at Kara’s bedside, and the other half is delving into Kara’s case — two people are noticeably missing.

Alex can’t bear to see her sister looking so weak and vulnerable in that hospital bed.

Instead, she goes to Kara's apartment to clean her sister’s blood off the wall before Kara gets home from the hospital.

She's just getting a bucket full of soapy water when she hears movement at the door. Alert, Alex already has her gun out and trained at the door.

When the door opens, all Alex sees is a flash of black hair and wide green eyes before she gets a gun aimed at her too.

"Lena?? What the fuck?! What are you doing here??"

Alex puts her gun down slowly, her heart still hammering. Lena cautiously does the same, her hands held out to her sides.

Alex gestures at the door "How did you—?"

"Kara gave me the key three months ago." Lena's eyes haven't lost their wary edge, but she has the decency to look a bit abashed. "She said I could come over anytime."

"Yeah, but Kara's still in the hospital. What are you doing here?"

"I know that," Lena slants her a light glare as she looks around Kara's apartment. "I just — I wanted to make sure the place is secure, and... well... I didn't want Kara to come home to that."

She gestures at the blood-spattered wall, but looks away quickly. As if she, like Alex, can't bear to stand the sight of Kara's blood.

It's funny. They're both seasoned agents, they deal with horrific things on an almost daily basis. The sight of blood rarely fazes either of them anymore. Except this is Kara's blood.

It seems impossible that Lena could get any paler, but here she is, as white as a ghost and looking just as sick as Alex feels. And yet, she's still here. Out of everyone in Kara's circle of friends and family, only Alex and Lena are here, performing a task that somehow seems more terrible than anything either of them have encountered.

It's in this moment that it begins to dawn on Alex just how special Lena is. How special she may still become.

Alex bends down and drags the bucket of soapy water to the wall. She doesn't look at Lena, and instead focuses on the wall and swallows down bile at the sight of her sister's blood. Over her shoulder, she mutters "Grab a sponge."

"That's not gonna be enough. We, um—" Lena clears her throat and chokes out. "— need bleach."

Alex nods curtly. "Under the kitchen sink."

Lena gets the bleach, and the two of them silently begin scrubbing Kara's blood off her walls, and that's that. Once they're done, Alex gets a couple of beers that Kara keeps especially for Alex in her fridge and offers one to Lena.

Then Alex gives her a mild version of a shovel talk lol

And then, two days before Kara is released from the hospital, the news breaks. Lex Luthor, convicted serial killer, has escaped from prison.

All eyes are focused on the BAU screen, except J’onn’s. He turns to his left. Lena Kieran watches the television without batting an eye.

Lena waits only until after Kara has come back home, to make sure that she's safe, that Alex is staying with her for now.

Looking at the blonde tucked into blankets on the couch, soft and vulnerable, Lena can't bring herself to say goodbye, so instead, she just leans over to kiss Kara on the forehead and says good night.

Then without a word, without even packing a bag, Lena Luthor leaves National City to lure her brother out of the shadows.

Lena makes her exit just as the team is on the cusp of finding out that Lena Kieran is Lena Luthor.

She leaves her apartment intact, knowing that Kara and the rest of the team will eventually search it. She sticks the surveillance photo of her and Kara on the bedroom mirror and writes on the glass in red lipstick: "I'm sorry. I promise I'll make this right."

J'onn is the only one who knows the truth of who Lena really is, and in the end, he's the one who tells them.

With Lena gone, it's clear to J'onn that she's about to do something monumentally stupid, like sacrifice herself for the team. He gathers everyone, and tells them the truth.

The group is gathered around the conference table, staring at pictures of young Lena on the screen.

Tiny Lena, not even 5 years old, just after she was adopted by the Luthors, her wide green eyes sad and confused, her little hands clutching a worn, well-loved teddy bear.

Six year old Lena and a teenaged Lex Luthor standing together in front of Lena's new school. The little girl in her neat uniform, holding onto the older boy's hand, looking at her big brother with an adoring smile.

Fifteen year old Lena on summer vacation, and a now-adult Lex, the young girl perched on the hood of a restored vintage car with Lex's hand on her shoulder. Lena is thinner, more gaunt, and her smile less bright, but Lex is different. He's grinning at the camera, looking every inch the charismatic billionaire playboy. You would never know from Lex Luthor's easy smile that he had already been killing for 5 years at this point.

Finally, the last Luthor family portrait, taken the year Lex was arrested. They're a beautiful family, there's no denying that. Each person in the photograph is regal and proud — but in each set face, there's a private war being waged. Lena looks far older than her sixteen years. Her face shows no emotion in each cut line, but her eyes betray all: a somber intensity that's impossible to look away from. Lex is the exact opposite. His smile is charming and draws the viewer's gaze, but his eyes are cold and dead. Within 8 months, Lex would be in prison, Lionel would be dead, Lillian would be running the company, and Lena would no longer be a Luthor.

Kara feels... she doesn't know how she feels.

There's anger, shock, confusion and... hurt. A lot of hurt, a heavy ball of it resting on the base of her spine, mixed with the ache of a longing she doesn't understand, something broken that only confuses her more. So she decides to settle on the anger.

Yes, anger is good. It gives her a sense of purpose and clarity, and it doesn't threaten to make her curl up into a tiny ball. She's angry that her best friend — one of the most important people in her life, second only to Alex — has been hiding all of this from her for years. She's angry that Lena, who has taught her so many things — not just about being a profiler, but about life and love and friendship — didn't trust her enough to tell her about any of this.

Anger is good, because it keeps the tears stinging the back of her eyes from falling, because... because Kara's always thought she knows Lena better than anyone. Had believed that out of everyone, Lena had trusted her, Kara Danvers, enough to get to know her. But now, it seems she doesn't really know Lena at all.

The screen flickers.

Everyone blinks up at the screen in confusion as it begins to glitch. Suddenly, the photos of Lena disappear from the monitors. It’s replaced by what looks like a grainy video feed. Kara turns to J’onn, who shakes his head, frowning. This was not his doing.

“What the hell?” Alex frowns up at the monitor and nudges Winn, who immediately squints into his computer screen. “Who’s doing that?”

“I have no idea...” Winn mutters. “Gimme a second...”

It looks like feed from a surveillance video, except it’s showing what looks like a cabin. Even from the pixelated image, it looks well-decorated, expensive, like something from a country home magazine. Outside the far window, Kara can see a view of snow-capped mountains. Outlined in the middle is a dark shadow of a man.

“They live soft, luxurious lives, don’t they? Your so-called friends. Oblivious, unencumbered by knowledge, and so pathetically... mortal. Fragile.” A smooth baritone voice cuts through the static, and Kara’s blood chills. That voice is familiar. “You and I, we have been trained in the hard school of danger and war. Haven’t we, sister mine?”

Another figure steps out of the shadows and into view, and Kara gasps. Even in the grainy image, Lena’s smile is sharp and icy. “Comparing yourself to Alexander the Great now, are you? But then again, you always were trying too hard, Lex.”

I don't know exactly how happens, I haven't figured it out yet, but Lena confronts Lex with the intention of killing him, except she's the one who's "killed".

And Lex, being the sadistic ass that he is, had the whole thing captured on a hidden camera and it's being broadcast on every BAU monitor, for Lena's family to see.

The whole team watches Lena "die".

But Lena had a failsafe. She told someone of her location, maybe Andrea or Jack or Jess idk, and had them standby to help her in case something happened.

The whole time Lex streams their confrontation, Kara is frantic. The table suffers under her fury, splintering with the force of her desperate grip.

Every time they get nowhere trying to track Lena and Lex, Kara punches the walls, and Alex has to hold her sister back, afraid of how Kara is losing control.

When the feed broadcasts Lena's death, it seems almost unremarkable. One second, Lena is standing, the next she's on the floor, lifeless and unmoving.

A deadly silence grips the BAU conference room. No one is moving, not even breathing. It's as if when Lena dropped dead on the feed, so did they. They wait. And wait.. and wait.

Lena doesn't move.

On the screen, Lex checks his sister's vitals and satisfied, steps over his sister's body and out of sight. The camera blacks out.

They all stare dumbly at the screen for a long moment, afraid to move, as if moving from their frozen spots would make it true.

It's Alex who stirs first. She jumps into action, frantic, ordering Winn to get the feed back, but it's impossible. The room erupts in a blaze of action, but Kara... Kara's the only one left staring at the screen, frozen in shock and disbelief, as if she can't believe it's real.

It’s not. It’s not.

In the interim between Lena's death and the reveal that she’s alive, Kara spends every waking moment hunting down Lex or secretly looking into Leviathan (which she also uncovers when she digs deeper into Lena’s life before the Luthors and learns more about Lena’s mother).

Kara goes down so deep into the rabbit hole, that Alex is genuinely afraid for her sister. She almost prays that they don't find Lex Luthor. Not because she doesn't want that man brought to justice, but because she's afraid of what Kara can and will do once she sees him.

Kara hasn't mentioned Lena's name in months. But then again, most of their team hasn't.

In the months since Lena’s death, two new members have been brought int the BAU team, William Dey and Nia Nal.

William and Nia know very little about Lena from the team itself, because her name is hardly mentioned. Nia only knows Lena through her reputation, and through what Alex and the other agents outside of their team have told her. 

Alex is the only one in the team who says Lena's name because she hates that everyone tiptoes around it.

Lena was their friend. Her friend, and it's not right that everyone flinches at her name, that they can't look at the plaque of her on the memorial wall. She knows how hard it is to look at Lena's picture there, just as hard as it was to look at Kara's blood on the walls.

But Alex is not gonna be the one to look away. Lena didn't look away when they cleaned Kara's blood off the walls, and Alex will not look away from her either. She's gonna hunt Lex Luthor down like the animal that he is and make him pay for taking Lena from their family.

But Alex is getting worried about Kara.

Her sister doesn’t sleep anymore. Barely eats. Kara doesn't stop — she pores over old files of Lex's murders, goes over the old profile, possible places he might be. Alex is worried about her fixation with Lex. It's not healthy. Kara's grief — or her refusal to grieve — is gonna drive her to the ground.

So she confronts Kara about it.

They're in the BAU conference room when Alex finally speaks up, but Kara meets her gaze head on. With one hand, she points to the empty seat Lena used to favor, right across Kara's. "Lena's chair, Alex. What do you see when you look at it?... Nothing, right? We've left it empty all this time. No one can bear to sit it in. Tell me, what do you see, right now?"

Alex glances over at the chair, then back at her sister "Kara..."

"Tell me what you see, Alex."

Alex sighs. "Nothing."

"Exactly. Nothing." Kara nods, her eyes hard. "Do you wanna know what I see? I see her, Alex. I see Lena sitting across from me, just as clearly as I can see you now.”

Alex swallows at the intensity burning in her sister’s eyes.

“I see her everywhere, Alex. All the time. I see her smile, her eyes, and I—" Kara's voice cuts off with a sob. The agony in her eyes is almost too much for Alex to take. It takes a long moment before Kara can speak again.

"I can't stop, Alex. Whenever I stop and I look at her, I — I know she's - she's gone, but she looks so alive, and I— I know the only way I can get any kind of peace about it is knowing that Lex Luthor has been wiped off the face of the earth."

A frisson of fear shivers down Alex's spine. "Killing Lex won't bring Lena back, Kara."

"I know that, Alex." Kara's eyes are dark as flint. "Believe me. I know."

Sometime after Lena’s “death”, the BAU receives an unannounced visitor.

Lillian Luthor strides into the BAU bullpen, tall and imperial in her furs, her icy glare making everyone it lands on feel small and insignificant.

She strides past the bullpen, past Kara, and comes face to face with J’onn. Her cold blue eyes render everyone in the room silent. She scoffs her hatred into his face.

 "Taking my son away from me wasn't enough for you people, was it? You had to take my daughter away from me too. I warned her. I warned her this would be her undoing, and I was right. And now she's dead." 

They end up having to work with Lillian to find Lex, because as Lillian says "It takes a Luthor to find a Luthor." [And there's gonna be an interrogation lol. I just have this vague idea of Lillian talking about Lex and Lena.]

"The truth is, I lost Lena long before now.” Kara suspects that this is the closest anyone has come to hearing regret in Lillian Luthor’s voice.

“I was.... harsh on her, in a way I never was with Lex. Lex always had a sharp edge to him, but Lena — Lena was too soft, too vulnerable. A Luthor cannot be soft. Not when the world is watching, waiting for you to make the smallest mistake."

It’s not enough. It’s nowhere near enough. Kara slams her hands on the table, unable to believe the nerve of this woman. J'onn grips her arm in warning, but Kara ignores him, snarling at Lillian, her anger plain on her face. "You abused her! You made her feel unworthy of love, unable to trust anyone—"

Lillian lifts her chin. "I made sure my daughter could face a world that's hungry for Luthor blood. I made her a Luthor."

"She was just a little girl when she came to you!" Kara shouts, her fury growing by the second. "A little girl whose mother just died, who was looking for love, and instead she found you. She trusted you—"

Lillian's voice rises, a flash of heat scorching the cool, detached dignified tones. "I made her strong!" 

"She didn't need to be strong!" Kara yells, surging up to her feet, her face inches away from Lillian. J'onn grabs her shoulder, restraining, but Kara presses forward. "She needed someone to love her! And you answered that with nothing but condescension and neglect! The only one in your family who made her feel loved was a psychopath who betrayed her!"

Lillian is struck silent, her eyes wide and her face strained as she stares at Kara. Kara meets the older woman's eyes, staring her down without the fear that a younger Lena must have shown Lillian all those years ago.

Kara wishes she could've been there to hold that young Lena in her arms, wishes she could've taken her away from the family that broke her.

"The Luthor name didn't deserve Lena. You never deserved her."

#supercorp #lena luthor #kara danvers #supergirl #katie mcgrath #melissa benoist #me trying to write #I guess it could also fit with any crime drama not just CM #tbh I haven’t watched the show in I don’t even know how long. I was just watching a crime drama show and I had these in my drafts so #enjoy I guess? or not there’s a truck full of angst in this thing #p.s. this is like my FAVORITE characterization of Lillian. i tried my best 👉👈 please be kind #this is version 2.0 of my Criminal Minds AU cos i had to rework that one. and honestly i think this one is better #more fully realized i guess? idk it's 2am #sorry for the long post 😅

[februairy]

musim panas itu, ace harusnya mati.

acesabo, the summer that hikaru died!au. short.

warning: written in indonesian. spoilers for the summer that hikaru died. character's death

-

seharusnya jantung sabo berdebar setiap kali ia melihat lidah ace yang berputar di es loli, seharusnya. atau seharusnya perut sabo terasa melilit saat ace menyingkirkan rambut sabo yang jatuh menutupi wajahnya, ditambah lagi dengan jemari ace yang betah lebih lama di rambutnya, seharusnya. tapi debaran itu tidak hadir lagi meski iris kelabu ace menggali ke dalam mata sabo.

di bawah teriknya matahari, wajah ace terlihat memerah karena sabo terdiam menatapnya balik, memberikan izin kepada ace untuk menyapu pipi sabo dengan jemarinya. uh, sabo merasakan telapak tangan ace berkeringat.

sabo menggeser wajahnya dari tangan ace, mulai tidak nyaman dengan sentuhan ace, kemudian melangkah lebih cepat ke halte bis yang hanya sesekali beroperasi karena lokasi desa mereka yang antah-berantah ditutupi pegunungan. ace mengekor sabo dan mereka duduk bersama, berteduh di halte.

sabo bisa merasakan ace sesekali melirik kepadanya sambil menghabiskan es loli. kalau, kalau, hal ini terjadi sebulan yang lalu, mungkin lirikan ace akan membuat sabo berusaha menahan senyum dan tersipu sampai telinga, atau mungkin seluruh tubuhnya terasa panas meski mereka mengenakan seragam musim panas tipis mereka.

tapi ace yang sekarang bukanlah ace yang sama dengan ace seminggu yang lalu.

ace di ingatan sabo tidak pernah berusaha menautkan jemarinya dengan sabo, ace tidak peduli dengan pandangan sabo yang terhalang rambutnya, ace tidak pernah memerah melihat badan sabo yang terlihat samar di balik kemeja musim panas yang basah berkeringat.

es loli yang habis di tangannya menyadarkan sabo kembali dari ingatannya terhadap ace dan sabo tersenyum pahit.

suara tonggeret tidak kunjung mereda, sabo pun mengeluarkan keberanian untuk mengatakannya.

“kamu beda banget sama ace.”

omongan sabo membuat ace menoleh, matanya melebar karena terkejut. bibirnya berhenti mengulum es loli. sabo mengeratkan pegangannya pada batang es loli di tangannya, siap berlari.

alih-alih diterjang, sabo malah mendengar ace menghela nafas panjang yang membuat sabo memutar kepala ke arah ace.

mata sabo bertemu kembali dengan mata yang, kali ini, tidak seperti ace.

“aku kira tiruanku udah sempurna.” lanjut ace.

ralat, lanjut ace yang bukan ace. sabo gentar dan ingin lari saat itu juga, tapi sabo kalah cepat dengan lengan ace yang sudah merengkuhnya, erat. erat sekali. tangan ace di punggungnya menahan sabo agar tidak kabur.

kalau ini ace, sabo sudah pingsan karena kegirangan merasakan tubuh mereka sedekat ini. dada bertemu dada di balik katun tipis, paha yang bersentuhan, dan bibir ace yang dekat dengan telinganya. namun saat ini, hanya takut yang sabo rasakan.

belum lagi bisikan ace berikutnya yang membuat tubuh sabo seperti disiram dengan air es saat itu juga;

“jangan bilang siapa-siapa, aku mohon,” sabo bisa merasakan jari ace mengerat di belakang kemeja dan pinggangnya. “ini pertama kalinya aku hidup sebagai manusia, sabo. aku bisa sekolah, punya teman.”

nafas sabo tersengal-sengal. semua cara untuk kabur telah menghilang di pikirannya, digantikan dengan berbagai kemungkinan cara ace untuk membunuhnya sekarang juga.

“identitasku dan tubuhku memang pinjaman,” ace terhenti sesaat. “tapi aku benar-benar cinta kamu.”

sabo ingin muntah.

“sabo, tolong. aku nggak mau membunuh kamu.”

seluruh tubuh sabo bergetar. ia menelan ludah dan balas merengkuh ace dengan tangannya yang gemetaran.

padahal sabo sering sekali berpikir untuk mengakhiri hidupnya sendiri, tapi ketika dia dihadapkan dengan sesosok makhluk menyerupai ace yang bisa membunuh sabo kapan saja, sabo tiba-tiba ingin bisa tetap hidup.

helaan nafas sabo keras dan satu-satu.

“iya–ace… selamat datang kembali…”

jari sabo mencengkram punggung ace, bukan karena rindu.

-

ace seharusnya meninggal seminggu lalu di dalam hutan, sabo melihat mayat ace.

bersih dan cantik, seperti hanya tertidur.

tapi sehari setelahnya, ace kembali di depan pintu rumah sabo seolah-olah tidak pernah mati.

#me trying to write #the summer that hikaru died!au #acesabo #saboace #snowcurtain writing archive

[crowcryptid]

#greatest patch notes of all time? #me trying to write #this is for armored core. a game which I don’t own. but people keep posting this

[anexistingexistence]

>How to enemies to lovers

>What is the stage between enemies and lovers

>How to make character who hates other character want to be friends with other character

>Why does mc have chemistry with love interest's sister

#me trying to write #it's not going #it's not going at all #an existing post #writers on tumblr #writerblr #writeblr

[lacrimae23]

i love how i don't write for a long period of time and then there's that one night or day when i am just like 'well so now i don't live like a normal person i don't eat sleep drink water. nope. i write all day long thank yew'

and then here we go again and i can't write even one sentence ofc

i'm not the master of the writing. the writing is the master of me✨ or smth like that

#writing #on writing #me trying to write

[ri-night]

the romantic scene is going!

I had to scrap everything and write it from the start, and now it's more slowburn than everything, but at least it's sailing :'DD

#me trying to write #wip is eating me alive #i love tender romance so much but who would have known I suck at writing it

[butcherbacterium]

#me trying to write #or work #or live really

[enchantedblackrose]

Story Updates

Hi all! Just checking in. Thanks to everyone who has left feedback or reblogged We Need You and Holding On. I know updates are sporadic at best. I'm sorry to say it's going to keep being that way. With Thanksgiving approaching, I'll be soaking up family time. I appreciate patience! But here's what I'm hoping:

We Need You Part 3 will hopefully be posted sometime before Thursday

Holding On Part 2 has taken on a life on its own. I had much of it written previously then BAM I had a new idea 🙃 I'm thinking maybe this weekend, but more likely part 2 will be ready next week. I'm sorry

I also have an Antonio request that's done! But only in my head hahaha.

Alright that's it from me. Feel free to send me writing vibes or whatever. And uh fyi, comments are oftentimes inspiring. Js js

All my best always (unless you send anon hate or demand things from my friends). Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate. Everyone take care.

‐Ashley

#jay halstead x reader #kelly severide x reader #antonio dawson x reader #me trying to write #we need you series #holding on series #organizing my head a bit #plus accountability

[lovewheeler]

god i want a maine coon

#♡ rambles. #me trying to write

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

I had brain riot with this idea, courtesy of @z3r0aqxa and their TR matchups. I just found this dynamic too adorable for not writing about this!

Edit: Fanart of this here! 💜

Ran Haitani with a s/o that have way too much energy and usually sleeps 5/6 hours top.

(english is not my first language, be nice please!)

Ran doesn't understand how he ended up with you. Not that he's complaining exactly, he loves you. But he also loves sleeping.

This man needs his (at least) 12 hours of sleeping beauty.

The first time that you wake up with him, you were happy to just cuddle on his arms. The first two hours. But it was so boring after a while and your boyfriend was almost in a coma.

So, obviously, you ended up going to the kitchen for some coffee. You need your caffeine!

Where you found Rindou who, as soon as you said you were thinking in waking up Ran after coffee.... Panicks xD

Rindou warned you that you should never wake up his brother. NEVER.

You just made fun of him, obviously. But decided to listen to him anyway. Is not that you were actually scared of Ran, you just felt bad waking him up.

When Ran finally wakes up (hours later), he thought that you just left. Not that he would admit it, but that... Breakes him a little.

Until he finds you outside his bedroom, just spending time doing your own stuff and waiting for him to wake up.

This man doesn't understand how someone is able to have done so many things so early in the morning! (It's actually noon and we all know it)

But you've being waiting for him, you wanna go outside, you wanna walk around the city with him. So, even if he's still sleepy... He can't say no to your puppy eyes.

Now, you're just dragging him around through all Tokyo. Ran have a lazzy smile all the time that you do that. Maybe doing things so early (again, it wasn't early at all) is not such a bad idea if it's with you.

No need to say that after this, Ran gave you a key of his apartment, for you to be able to go in and out while his sleeping. He knows that you can't handle being stuck in bed for so many hours and he trusts you.

Rindou thinks you're a miracle maker when you even manage to wake up Ran without having to face his wrath.

Tenjiku thinks it's hilarious seeing you almost jumping with all your energy, dragging Ran to the meetings.

Even Izana starts calling you when he needs Ran to be punctual somewhere. Everyone knows that if it's with you, Ran will go anywhere. With a sleepy face and a lazzy smile.

Also, be ready for Ran napping in your lap. You don't need to sleep? Perfect, you can just pamper him while he sleeps. He even let you play with his hair!

And of course... Ran is a horny bastard. So, more than once, when you are trying to wake him up and do something together...

Ran huggs you tightly and whispers in your ear "Baby, I can help you to use all this energy without going out of bed."

Obviously, you can't say no to that xD

(I hope someone likes it, it's my first time writing about Ran! 🙈)

And of course, I had to mention Izana, hehehehe

#tokyo revengers #haitani ran #ran haitani #ran haitani headcanons #ran haitani x reader #rindou is traumatized by sleepy ran and we all know it xd #tokyo revengers headcanons #me trying to write #me writing🌻

[missluthorwillseeyounow]

Codename: Red Daughter

Kara is eyeing her purse, it's small but one could fit a handgun in there if one wanted. Lena deliberately sets it down on the sideboard, and Kara's left eyebrow twitches. "What, are you gonna shoot me again?"

Kara looks royally pissed, and Lena can’t help the smirk that pulls on her lips. "Well, the night's not over yet."

Kara glowers at her, but instead of intimidating Lena, she just finds it cute. "You shot me."

Lena shrugs her shawl off. "With a tranquilizer dart."

"Oh, my mistake," Kara scoffs. "You shot me and drugged me."

"Sarcasm is adorable on you, darling." Lena approaches her with a fond smile. "But you had a clear shot. Even your incompetent little DEO friends could see that. You know as well as I do that it would have looked suspicious if I didn't shoot you before you could shoot me."

She straddles Kara, who looks up at her with the cutest pout even as she pulls Lena's hips flush against hers. "That's not the point. I'm still mad at you."

"No, the point is: The half-life of that drug I gave you is 4 hours. It's barely 10 o'clock. You must still be feeling the effects of it." She slips her hand over Kara's collarbone which is unnaturally flushed. "You have exactly 6 hours until the drug I gave you wears off."

Lena gives Kara a wicked, challenging smile. "What do you plan to do about it?"

...

Later, when the aftershocks of her last orgasm finally die down, Kara slumps forward, panting into Lena's shoulder. "What on earth was in that drug you gave me? Stimulants? Some kind of aphrodisiac?"

And then Lena laughs breathlessly, slipping her arms around her. "That was just a mild sedative, it would have worn off before you even got here. This," she gestures at their sweaty, sticky bodies, "was all you, Supergirl."

....

....

....

....

Back at the DEO, Lex Luthor examines the small dart in his hand intently. The knocking on his office door barely registers and he mutters a distracted "Enter."

Alex Danvers, ever efficient, gets straight to the point with her report. "Red Daughter has been cleared by medical, sir. She's sleeping off the drug. I saw her home personally myself."

Lex turns the dart over in his fingers, a small smile pulling at the corner of his mouth "Oh, Lena...." he tuts under his breath in amusement.

Danvers frowns a little in confusion, but she doesn't question him. She's a good little soldier, this one. Lex gives her a beatific smile. "Tell me, Director Danvers. Statistically, how many people are killed by this sedative?"

"In that dose, sir? Likely none."

"Exactly." A grim smile appears on Lex's face. ".... You might want to check on your sister, Director. I think you'll find that whatever drug this is my fool of a sister dosed her with, she's not sleeping it off."

______________

A little supercorp spy AU based on the Earth prime thing where Lex is the head of the DEO. It's a no powers AU, but Alex and Kara are both working with the DEO (and as you probably already figured out, Kara's code name is Red Daughter). Lena is actively working against Lex, but she crosses paths with Kara, who begins to doubt Lex's intentions, and together they team up to expose Lex and bring him down.

Kiiiiiiiinda related to this one, but not really. I just went nuts after seeing The Continental trailer and then I remembered this AU, so here you go.

#supercorp #supergirl #lena luthor #katie mcgrath #melissa benoist #kara danvers #me trying to art #me trying to write #there is literally no other plot in this au. this is all there is

[februairy]

acsb jatuh cinta seperti di film-film!au

an english version of acesabo fanfic based on an indonesian movie; jatuh cinta seperti di film-film (literally translated into falling in love like in the movies)

warning: spoilers for jatuh cinta seperti di film-film, past sabolaw, minor character death, grammar mistake as english isn't my first language (but i did try my best!).

you can find the indonesian version [here]

enjoy!

-

all things fell off from ace’s hold onto the floor right after he opened the door to the producer shanks’ working room. a worried voice coming from outside, offering to help picking up his things. 

“it’s fine, i’m good. just a little bit nervous,” ace replied while reaching out to his water bottle and put it in between his left arm. 

after closing the door, ace's eyes wandered around the room that was already familiar to him; a working space with warm yellowish lights with wallpaper-covered walls on the top half and brown wood panels on the bottom half. ace took a deep breath, then moved to face producer shanks who would be his debate opponent for the next few hours. 

"ace, ace," before ace had fully sat down and prepared himself, shanks had already held out three stacks of manuscript towards him. "i'm already thinking, your next work will be a soap opera adaptation again." 

ace frowned, “uh, shanks? didn't you say that this time you wanted to use my original script?" his voice was a little hopeful; hoping that shanks’ words were just a joke. 

the red-haired man before ace folded his arms over his stomach. "that's how it was. but now that i think about it again, you're really good at making film adaptation of soap operas. it's better to just adjust to market tastes than taking risks, ace." 

ace mustered up half his courage as he removed three stacks of adaptation manuscripts to the side. “shanks, i bring my original manuscript. don’t you want to listen to it first?" this time, it was ace who held out a thick stack of a slightly crumpled manuscript with black paper clips struggling to clamp all the papers at the corner. 

shanks took the manuscript that ace offered, flipping through the pages–but ace was sure, shanks didn’t read a thing. one side of shanks’ eyebrow raised as he looked at ace, giving permission to ace to continue speaking. 

"well, shanks. first, before i start, imagine the film was made in black and white–" 

(the dimly-lighted working room lost its color in ace's eyes, tuning into ace’s imagination which was starting to seep out of the crevices of his brain. the interior wallpaper and wood panels were no longer green and brown, but gray.) 

“black and white? our audience doesn’t like it, ace. only 15 minutes into the film, they will come to the staff, ‘is the film broken?’. how come you came up with an idea as if you didn’t know what our audience was like!” shanks immediately closed ace’s manuscript and put it back on the table. 

ace rolled his eyeballs, “there’s a meaning behind it, shanks. i promise. the colors will be back at the half-end! this is romance, romance!” 

shanks' eyes narrowed. “romance?” ace nodded. romance, suitable for the largest target market in this country. it was also easy to ask for promotions from the cinema side. “this isn't an art film, is it? commercial?” ace nodded again at both questions. "okay, try me." looks like shanks were sold a little bit. 

"this film tells the story of a film writer who wants to get his highschool crush by writing his love story into a script–" shanks looked at ace, starting to get interested. ace gave a little pause to escalate shanks' anticipation. “–but his highschool crush just lost his husband.” 

"don’t tell me, this is a sad story? no way. the audience won’t like it. make it a happy ending, man, so we can make a stunt about someone proposing to his crush after the film ends. it will be viral, for sure.” shanks looked up, already imagining what gimmicks and marketing techniques could be used for this film.

“you’ve already thought too far ahead, sir… but, yeah, it will have happy ending. calm down!” ace chimed in. after making sure shanks was convinced, “shall i continue?” 

shanks nodded, allowing ace to resume his story. 

-

sabo met ace again in the supermarket cashier line.

-

“ace? you use your name as your character’s name?” 

“shanks, this is only draft, and, yes. you want to have a personal story as an original story, right?” 

“so, this is based on your personal experience, huh?” shanks grinned widely and ace was ready to continue while holding his smile shyly. “but, anyway. why supermarket, ace? it’s too ordinary. not romantic.” 

"maybe the first meeting seems too ordinary. but if we look deeply, there is sadness in our main character's eyes, sabo."

-

sabo met ace again in the supermarket cashier line.

the last time sabo met ace, as he remembered, was at sabo and law's wedding. after that, sabo's contacts and meetings with his high school friend faded along with their respective busy lives; sabo with his newlywed life after moving to another city and ace focusing on his filming career in the capital city (sabo didn’t know the details). 

at the front end of the line, ace looked confused. sabo vaguely heard from the cashier that ace’s apples hadn’t been weighed. ace turned around while apologizing to the queueing line that was forced to halt because of him.

the corners of sabo's lips lifted slightly, apparently ace's carelessness hadn't changed either. 

ace, who had stepped aside on the side of the queue line while saying sorry, suddenly stopped and met his gaze with sabo’s. the confusion in ace's eyes turned into a warm glow like greeting an old friend. 

“sabo, right?”

there’s an air of certainty edging around ace’s voice in sabo's ears. as if ace knew, he couldn't be wrong, because there were only a few blonde haired people with a big scar on their face.

"hi," sabo greeted back. the confusion that was shown on ace’s face now had shifted to sabo’s, he didn’t know what he should say to an old friend whom he met again in the middle of a waiting line like this. "hurry and weigh those apples, many people are waiting." 

hearing the familiarity in sabo's voice, ace put the apples randomly on the side display case, as if he didn't want to lose any time with sabo. “i'll just cancel the apples, come, you can check your groceries out with mine.”

before sabo had the chance to refuse, ace already brought sabo's shopping basket. leading sabo to the cashier, cutting the line.

“uh, ace–no need to! really–" sabo gave up on taking back his shopping basket because ace had already arrived in front of the cashier. sabo could feel other’s eyes on his back, staring sharply as he cut the line. “so sorry, yes, excuse me..."

he arrived in front of the cashier whose face was already annoyed. sabo could only apologize once again. "please separate the payment, thank you."

again, before sabo could stop him, ace had brought several of sabo's shopping bags. there was only one shopping bag left for sabo to take with him, which only contained vegetables. the lightest bag. sabo sighed, good-ol'-ace just like back then. 

"ace, let's grab some coffee."

at least sabo should give ace something as a gratitude for saving sabo’s precious twenty minutes, on sunday afternoon, that could be gone in a flash just for queueing on the grocery line.

-

"that's great. i can already imagine deuce as the actor."

shanks' voice disrupted ace's flowing imagination.

"isn’t deuce too handsome? ace, here, is a script-writer... i don’t think there are any script-writers that look like deuce?” ace was half annoyed because shanks interrupted him during the fun part of the story.

"well, we just need to make his co-star no less beautiful. nico robin for example," shanks turned his chair to the left while holding his chin, in his mind there were already several possible suitable actresses and actors. “iconic couple.”

not as sweet as sabo, though. ace thought, but that would be a matter for another time. ace took the opportunity to continue his story while shanks was thinking of any potential candidates. 

-

instead of coffee, sabo took ace to the bubble tea shop (at an age where you should cut back on sugary drinks, it was fine to taste it sometimes). after all, you didn't meet high school friend coincidentally very often. their chat started with the casual pleasantries and life updates such as current business or asking for a new address.

sabo answered with a little bit of hesitation, he’d been back here for four months. without needing ace to ask why sabo was back, he felt like ace already knew the reason; the information had been spread in their high school group chat, which only got active when there was an obituary.

but sabo didn't want to dampen the mood between them, and ace also seemed to catch the look on sabo's face, even though sabo was the first to change the topic of conversation.

"what about you?" sabo asked, folding his hands on the table before continuing, "how's work?" ace looked at sabo, not sensing any bad intentions from the question. ace chuckled, scratching his black hair.

"aw, shit, we are reaching to this topic, huh?" ace leaned his back against the backrest. he felt unable to escape from sabo's curious gaze which, for some reason, ace had never been able to avoid since high school. "yeah, business as usual. write a film script adaptation from a soap opera."

“oh yeah, yeah. i watched it, your film adaptation of that soap opera, through the link that was shared in the group chat. what's the title? reincarnation remake?” very wrong, but sabo was enthusiastic.

“reborn.” ace corrected.

“reincarnation... reborn?”

ace hid his face in his arms which were folded on the table.

"what’s the difference?"

ace raised his head. "yeah, i don't know, my producer said it was catchier." his right hand shook his plastic earl gray milk tea cup. "huh, hang on. did you say you watched it from a shared link? was it a pirated site, sab?"

this time it was sabo who couldn't avoid ace's shocked gaze. “it was an official link, i swear! the quality was HD when i watched it!” sabo panicked, but for some reason, ace laughed even louder at sabo's answer which made sabo smile.

"you're a mess, man! how come you don't support your friend's work." ace shook his head, his hand was holding his left chest, pretending as if sabo's actions were very offensive to his feelings. it was sabo's turn to laugh now.

this was his loosest laugh in the last four months.

"sorry, okay? i don't really understand that kind of thing." sabo replied while taking a sip of his bubble tea drink, an attempt to get rid of the awkwardness after being caught watching a pirated film in front of his friend who worked in the film industry. "next time i'll watch your work at the cinema. what are you working on now?"

ace was pondering his decision, before finally answering.

“this time i was asked to work on an original manuscript. romance, of course. because it is always on high-demand. i'm still in the process of looking for ideas, though. but i'm thinking about making a romance for our age."

“romance? if you want it to be easy, just make it about teenagers school romance, right? at our age, we have a lot of other things to think about," sabo answered, noticing the disapproving look on ace. "isn't it? sweet and cute love belongs to teenagers, ace.”

ace shook his head as he hastily downed his drink, his tongue clicked before wagging his index finger in front of sabo's face, not sharing the same thoughts as sabo. "no, sab. people of our age can also be sweet and romantic."

"god, i can't imagine going into the cinema and watching a romance film where the main characters are already in their thirties like us," sabo raised both of his hands slightly, curling his fingers. "people at our age just need to talk nicely and discuss it if they have a problem, ace. there's no beating around the bush or kissing under the rain, we can’t be sweet and cute like school romance."

sabo saw the man in front of him chuckled, "no, no, i'm going to make a romance story between adults that can beat the sweet romance story of teenagers!"

there was a moment of silence between them before sabo broke it, "people our age can't fall in love like in the movies anymore, ace."

ace was silent, not wanting to reply back anymore. sabo had his own thoughts which he was sure cannot be shaken, but ace also had his own.

-

“you just put the title after TWENTY MINUTES IN? you're crazy, ace. and the first twenty minutes are just casual talking?"

ace smiled.

"that's romantic, shanks. the romance of adults.”

-

they talked for almost two hours until they were interrupted by a call from hack, an employee at sabo's flower shop, which made sabo remember that he had to go home. from the corner of his eyes, sabo saw ace still wanting to catch up. actually sabo did want too, there were still many things that sabo wanted to hear from his old friend. but now that sabo was back living in the capital city, he could meet ace any time again, right?

ace offered to take sabo's groceries to the car, which of course, ace had lifted before sabo could refuse.

after all the shopping bags were stored into his car and sabo said thank you, they were silent for a moment as if they wanted to stretch the time.

and that was when ace spoke up.

"do you really... won't fall in love again? have you ruled out the possibility that there might be someone else in your life?"

sabo was stunned-still. suddenly, it felt like there was a lump stuck in his throat which made sabo unable to speak. his eyes and brain tried to find the meaning behind ace's gaze and question, but to no avail.

"i... i am fine of being alone... because after–" sabo cleared his throat, swallowing the bitter taste that came from nowhere, gathering his strength to answer ace. "after law passed away four months ago, all my love and dreams were buried with law, ace."

sabo closed the door of his car, trying not to see ace's expression at that moment.

“thank you, ace. let's meet again sometimes soon." sabo smiled and waved, before driving off in his car, leaving ace in the parking lot, like the end of the first sequence of a film.

-

ace fiddled with his fingers anxiously, while shanks leaned forward on his desk. ace's anticipation amidst the silence was rewarded with the producer's words;

"i'm waiting for the next development, ace."

ace's eyes widened, he wanted to jump right here right now, but he held back. the celebration can be done any time, at least, the initial stage of the manuscript was finally accepted

"thanks, sir!"

ace withheld his smile, not only because the initial stages of his original manuscript were accepted by the ever-impenetrable shanks, but also because ace was finally able to make a reason to meet sabo again.

at least ace could used 'surveying florist for his new film' as an excuse to visit sabo’s flower shop. because ace needed to understand sabo better and his entire background, including sabo’s feelings and grief. 

#jatuh cinta seperti di film-film!au #acesabo #saboace #sabo #revolutionary sabo #ace x sabo #ace #portgas d. ace #portgas d ace #me trying to write #one piece #snowcurtain writing archive

[catmask]

when u go to write a mentally ill person in ur story you are presented two options. the first option is to write your mental illness realistically as you actually experience it with all the ups and downs and people who are like you will resonate with it and feel seen. except every person who reads instagram infographics on mental health that uses the phrase narcicisst for anyone who does anything that crosses them and unironically call themself a dark empath will call you scary and tell you that youre demonizing mentally ill people

the second option is to lie and write inspiration porn for those people to get hard to

#just kidding the third option is i drive myself insane #trying to find a way to write someone like me in a way i may be respected as a human being #without shaving away the more frightening aspects of my experience or life #challenge level . impossible. i will die. or they will make youtube 3 hour long rant videos about it someday #scratchpost #txt

[dana-is-snax]

istg if i have shit to do for uni, i write and when i have the whole day to write, i just don't.

brain, why?

#me trying to write #the next inesa bit #aaaah #snax writes