#sorry for the long post 😅

[missluthorwillseeyounow]

What do you do when someone you love is a psychopath and a serial killer? How do you pick up your life and move on from it?

If you're Lionel Luthor, you don't. Your son betrays you and the legacy you built for him, and so your heart betrays you too. You sit at your desk with those damn pills your quack of a doctor prescribed and one too many drinks. You feel a warning twinge on your arm before excruciating pain, red and angry, blooms in your chest, and you never see the morning. 

The only good thing about this is that you never see your son go to trial for killing 47 people over a span of 6 years. People whisper that you are one of Lex Luthor’s victims.

If you’re Lillian Luthor, you don’t either. You clean the damned mess these Luthor men left you. You take over the company that your husband had the gall to leave you, just as he left you with your only daughter. You clean up the tatters of your family’s reputation and legacy that your son left behind. 

In the eyes of the world, you move on. You rise, finally able to flex the muscles so long held back by your husband and the rest of the world's expectations. And you bring Luthor Corp with you. 

The millstone of the trials and scandal hang heavy on your neck, but all your life you have taught yourself to walk gracefully among lesser beings with your back straight and your head held high, just as you did as a young girl with textbooks on your head. This is no different.

But once a month, you make a pilgrimage to Stryker’s Island. To Lex. To the son you loved the best way you knew how, the only way you knew how - with a firm grip and the relentless, uncompromising push to achieve excellence, the intractable determination to make him grow into his fullest potential. That this potential was realized in murder, malice and manipulation was not your intent, but the world is far too quick and vindictive in their judgement because he is a Luthor. The mightiest always fall the farthest, and those beneath them wait hungrily for the chance to pull them down.

Your daughter leaves you too. The daughter who emerged, not from your body, but from your husband's infidelity. The same one who once looked up at you with eyes full of innocent trust that you vowed you would reciprocate in the best way you knew how. And so you did your best to prepare her, to mold her in your own image - into what a Luthor woman should be in this cruel, savage world that both worships and hates Luthors. 

You’ve seen what the world does to Luthors who do or say the smallest wrong thing and you never want her to suffer those whispers and so you tell her yourself. Better she hears it from family than the mouths and forked tongues of strangers.

But she is too hard-headed and too soft-hearted to comply. She rejects your bequest, the ungrateful girl, and tries to escape the Lena Luthor you tried so hard to cultivate all these years. 

As if you don't know. As if you could forget that it was her who brought this down upon all of you. Her, and that detestable Clark Kent. 

And if you are Lena Luthor, you cannot move on. You cannot escape it. No matter how far you stray from your family. No matter how many reparations you make, no matter how hard you strive to separate yourself from the curse it brings -- it always finds you.

It finds you in the dark hours when you’re by yourself without the touch of another woman or the burn of alcohol to distract you - and suddenly you’re a scared little girl again, walking into an ominous house made of grim oak, unforgiving marble and dark shadows. And the only warmth you receive is not from a largely absent and formidable father nor from a condescending and controlling mother, but from a charismatic and mercurial brother who taught you how to play chess and promised you the world.

But it turns out his shadow was the darkest of all, and you didn't see until it was too late.

How could you not see it?

You were just a girl at that time, Agent J'onzz once tried to comfort you with that fact. Back when Lex was arrested.

Just a schoolgirl home for the holidays -- shoes polished as bright as the naivete in your eyes, uniform pressed to Lillian's exact standards, picture perfect but always with just one tiny detail you forgot that was enough to attract notice and invite criticism. This time it was the glasses sitting slightly crooked on your face. 

You were more concerned with weathering the scorching disapproval just long enough until you got back to boarding school that you failed to notice Lex's distance. You failed to recognize the signs. You failed to decode his lies.

You failed.

By the time you got back to boarding school, he would have killed 2 more people.

By the time you caught on, he'd already killed 31. Those lives are all on you, because you were so absorbed by yourself, you didn't see what was happening under your nose. And those 3 agents Lex killed because he refused to come quietly? The judge and jury he poisoned at the trial? That's on you too.

Forty-seven lives taken. Forty seven more than there should have been if you hadn't been so blind. 

If only you hadn't been comforted by the gentle hand holding yours under the table throughout Lillian's litanies of your shortcomings everytime you were home from school. If only you hadn't fallen for the "adventures" he had tricked you into that always ended with you in disgrace or punished, like that time you stole Lionel's prized pen from the King of Jordan, just for him. 

If only you hadn't believed the fairy-tale dream of the two of you escaping to the snow-covered mountain peak, of finally being free of the Luthors’ oppressive presence.

And now he's serving 20 consecutive life sentences, and you've devoted your life to studying and stopping people like him.

Now you have 10 years of experience as a profiler and an undercover operative for both the Interpol and the FBI. Your work has taken you from Toran, to Kaznia, to Corto Maltese, to Metropolis, and now to National City.

You have seen the worst humanity has to offer, from terrorists to human traffickers to serial killers. But you keep looking into the abyss.

Because you looked into it once, you stared it in the face, and you didn't recognize it for what it was. 

_________

Or, a Supercorp Criminal Minds AU

There's actually 3 major plots in this, and they all intersect in varying ways

The first is Lex as a serial killer

The second is about Sam and Reign

The third is the most vague one, which includes Lena’s birth mother and Leviathan

It starts (as the intro says) with Lex being a serial killer who killed 47 people. In one version of this story, Clark is a reporter who, like Lena,  made the connection between Lex and the murders. One night after dinner  with the Luthors, Clark sneaks into Lex’s study to find evidence he can use for his story. 

He’s rummaging in a desk when he hears a voice from the doorway.

“You  won’t find anything there.” Clark whips around to find Lena standing  there, silhouetted against the light coming from the hall. He tenses,  thinking she’s about to tell her brother what Clark was doing. 

“If  Lex really is behind these murders, and I know you think he is, you  won’t find anything there. He’s not foolish enough to hide evidence  here." 

Clark doesn’t say anything, he just stares at her.  Lena pauses, looking away. "I… I didn’t want to believe it. Not Lex… He  wouldn’t…” Steel injects itself into her green gaze. “But the more time I  spend with him, the more clearly I see the truth. You see it too, don’t  you?" 

Clark straightens up and nods gravely. “Yes.”

The FBI eventually becomes involved in the investigation, and the team includes a certain agent on the fast track to becoming the unit chief, J’onn J’onzz.

J’onn meets Lena only briefly, but he’s struck by the young girl’s keen intelligence and remarkable calm. (Eventually, he becomes the one who suggests that Lena consider a career in profiling and criminal psychology).

Fast forward a couple of decades later, Lena is working with the BAU. The other members of the team here are J'onn, Alex, James, Brainy and Winn. Lena is a transfer from Interpol, and she's had years of experience in profiling, suspect and victim identification, as well as infiltration, under her belt (I also hc that she worked briefly with the CIA and the MI6, mostly in intel, profiling and undercover work).

For the sake of her anonymity (and also because it was necessary for her undercover work), she's erased all connections to Lex and the Luthors (including old photographs and newspaper articles until the name Lena Luthor is but a footnote in the Luthor history with nothing to tie her to who she is now). She's also changed her last name. (I'm torn because I just don't know if I can use the name Walsh for Lena, it doesn't sound.. right? Idk So for now, she's Agent Kieran).

Lena is very professional, almost intimidating. She’s revered by the younger agents in the Bureau, well-respected by her colleagues and highly praised by her superiors. But she's very guarded and keeps everyone at arm's length, doesn't go out for after-work drinks with the others, practically sleeps with one eye open — years of working undercover and living with a serial killer will do that to you.

Until a certain promising young recruit comes along.

Kara is new in town — the adopted sister of Alex Danvers, the cousin of one of J'onn's old friends (I don't think teaming family members up is actually allowed in the FBI, so some suspension of disbelief is required here). Lena is assigned to oversee her training and transition into the team herself.

Kara's sunny demeanor couldn't clash more with Lena's icy, professional facade. Lena approaches the task with thinly-veiled impatience and something remarkably close to disdain.

However, Kara quickly proves to be more than a perky attitude and a pretty smile. She squirms at blood, which Lena is quick to exploit at first (What FBI profiler can't stand the sight of a corpse? "We profile serial killers here, not celebrities in high-waisted jeans.").

But Kara displays true empathy to the victims and their families, she's sensitive to other people's emotions and knows just what to say to get a reluctant victim or witness talking. She's extremely dedicated to catching the unsubs, and relentless in her investigation. Not to mention, she's extremely handy to have around in a crisis.

Lena finds this last part out when they're on a case, trying to find a missing girl.

The team is headed to the unsub's apartment, but on a hunch, Lena heads to an abandoned warehouse near the apartment, with only Kara as backup. They enter the warehouse, and just as they're clearing the rooms and checking for the missing girl, the unsub attacks Lena and manages to pin her to the ground, choking her. Kara gets there just in time to shoot the unsub in the leg, saving Lena's life.

Later that evening, Kara and the rest of the team go to the bar to celebrate. Lena is absent, as usual.

Just as Kara is getting another round of drinks at the bar, a low, smoky voice interrupts her. "Didn't profile you as a drinker, Danvers.”

Kara squeaks, nearly dropping the drinks, and turns to see Lena smirking behind her. “I wonder what other surprises you're hiding behind those glasses and cardigans."

"Agent Kieran! I didn’t expect to see you here— No, these aren't all for me, I— " Lena's face softens at Kara's babbling, and she takes a few of the shot glasses from Kara's hands.

"You know, I have a rule..." A wry smile lifts one corner of her lipsticked mouth. "Anyone who saves my life gets to call me Lena."

Kara blushes profusely at the other woman’s arched eyebrow. "Well then, if I'm calling you Lena..."

Lena smirks. "Kara it is, then."

For the first time — much to the gaping surprise of the rest of the team she's worked with for years — Lena joins them for a post-case drink.

To everyone's — and no one's — surprise, the pair quickly become the best of friends.

Two days into their friendship, Lena starts jokingly calling Kara Supergirl. Three weeks later, they start grabbing lunch together. Three months in, Kara sends Lena a video of herself petting a St. Bernard on the street only to be bowled over in a mass of furry paws and puppy licks — and the cadets Lena is training are even more bowled over to hear the "Ice Queen" laugh. Of course, they're later treated with a scorching glare and a sharp reprimand, but it's a revelation just to discover that she's actually physically capable of laughing.

By six months, the whole department is in a secret "will they or won't they" betting pool. A year in, and every other department has stakes in the pool (Alex publicly condemns the pool, but secretly bets a hundred bucks that "they will" by winter).

One time while they're eating lunch together, Kara tells Lena why she became a profiler when her career was in journalism.

"It just felt... too late. I'd be covering these stories about these terrible things, people who were already victims, and I thought... it's too late... Don't get me wrong, I loved being a reporter. Journalism was a way to bring truth out there, to give voices to these victims, but.... I wanted - needed - to do something more. I wanted to stop these things from happening. To keep these people from becoming victims."

But despite their growing closeness, Lena has yet to tell Kara about Lex, or about her life before the BAU.

She doesn't tell Kara about the woman she'd loved once, who hates her now because of the lies Lena told her. She doesn't tell her about Reign. She doesn’t tell Kara about the sweet young girl living far, far away, who plays soccer and loves to sing and read. The little girl Lena loves from afar, but knows only through secret updates from James, because it's for her own good.

Because that sweet little girl that Lena hasn't seen since she was a baby deserves to live a life that's whole and good — away from those who love her, but could hurt her. Whether she's thinking about Sam or herself, Lena doesn't know.

There are too many secrets, Lena decides, as she shoves them all one by one into their little boxes, clamping the lid securely shut. Kara is too good to be tainted by any of them.

Kara, who gets squeamish at the sight of blood, but resolutely hunts each killer like an avenging angel. Kara, who somehow, somehow still believes in the good in people.

And when she realizes that there is very little of that to be found in Lena Kieran or Lena Luthor, Kara will hate her as much as Lena hates herself.

But then the day comes when Lena receives a package in the mail.

She reaches in and pulls out two things: one, a chess piece — the white knight — and the other, a surveillance photo of Kara and Lena having lunch together.

On the back of the photograph are three cryptic little words that fill her with dread: “See you soon, sis.”

Panic overrides logic and years of training, and Lena stashes the package and its cursed contents into her safe. Heart racing, she calls the warden at Strykers. It takes several favors, but she manages to procure video footage confirming that her brother is still incarcerated. Despite the visual confirmation, she doesn’t sleep a wink that night, nor the night after.

Everything is quiet after that, so quiet that Lena is almost lulled, if not into a sense of complacency, then at least a state of less vigilance. Everyone needs a breather, a reprieve from paranoia at some point, and that is exactly what Lex is counting on.

A string of seemingly-unrelated murders heralds Lex's return, luring the BAU — and Lena — closer and closer. Lena knows she should leave, and leave soon. The closer the team gets to figuring out it's Lex, the more danger they're in — not just Kara, but the rest of the team that Lena has now come to care for.

But Kara, being Kara, holds onto Lena and keeps her from leaving.

Kara knows her too well now. She knows that something is wrong. She pushes without pushing, in that earnest yet respectful way, relentless in her concern for the people she cares about, yet still mindful and considerate in her efforts. It's one of the things Lena loves about her.

And then, after coming home from a case one night — Kara is shot by an intruder in her apartment.

The whole team is thrown into chaos trying to find Kara’s assailant. They all agree that the attack cannot be random, but there’s a frustrating lack of evidence anywhere.

But Lena knows.

The lack of clues is a glaring clue in and of itself. She knows this is Lex’s handiwork. Her brother’s way of getting back at her for “telling on him”, just like he used to when they were children. Except the stakes are infinitely higher this time, and he has gone too far.

And Lena — who should've known — didn't prevent it. She was too selfish, too greedy, wanting more time — more time with Kara, more time with her team, her family — and now this is the result.

Lena knows that Lex will go after everything and everyone she loves, because he wants to hurt her. Luthors are not raised on half-measures. Win the game, or burn the board. He will not stop, Lena knows this. Not until either of them is dead.

While half the team is waiting at Kara’s bedside, and the other half is delving into Kara’s case — two people are noticeably missing.

Alex can’t bear to see her sister looking so weak and vulnerable in that hospital bed.

Instead, she goes to Kara's apartment to clean her sister’s blood off the wall before Kara gets home from the hospital.

She's just getting a bucket full of soapy water when she hears movement at the door. Alert, Alex already has her gun out and trained at the door.

When the door opens, all Alex sees is a flash of black hair and wide green eyes before she gets a gun aimed at her too.

"Lena?? What the fuck?! What are you doing here??"

Alex puts her gun down slowly, her heart still hammering. Lena cautiously does the same, her hands held out to her sides.

Alex gestures at the door "How did you—?"

"Kara gave me the key three months ago." Lena's eyes haven't lost their wary edge, but she has the decency to look a bit abashed. "She said I could come over anytime."

"Yeah, but Kara's still in the hospital. What are you doing here?"

"I know that," Lena slants her a light glare as she looks around Kara's apartment. "I just — I wanted to make sure the place is secure, and... well... I didn't want Kara to come home to that."

She gestures at the blood-spattered wall, but looks away quickly. As if she, like Alex, can't bear to stand the sight of Kara's blood.

It's funny. They're both seasoned agents, they deal with horrific things on an almost daily basis. The sight of blood rarely fazes either of them anymore. Except this is Kara's blood.

It seems impossible that Lena could get any paler, but here she is, as white as a ghost and looking just as sick as Alex feels. And yet, she's still here. Out of everyone in Kara's circle of friends and family, only Alex and Lena are here, performing a task that somehow seems more terrible than anything either of them have encountered.

It's in this moment that it begins to dawn on Alex just how special Lena is. How special she may still become.

Alex bends down and drags the bucket of soapy water to the wall. She doesn't look at Lena, and instead focuses on the wall and swallows down bile at the sight of her sister's blood. Over her shoulder, she mutters "Grab a sponge."

"That's not gonna be enough. We, um—" Lena clears her throat and chokes out. "— need bleach."

Alex nods curtly. "Under the kitchen sink."

Lena gets the bleach, and the two of them silently begin scrubbing Kara's blood off her walls, and that's that. Once they're done, Alex gets a couple of beers that Kara keeps especially for Alex in her fridge and offers one to Lena.

Then Alex gives her a mild version of a shovel talk lol

And then, two days before Kara is released from the hospital, the news breaks. Lex Luthor, convicted serial killer, has escaped from prison.

All eyes are focused on the BAU screen, except J’onn’s. He turns to his left. Lena Kieran watches the television without batting an eye.

Lena waits only until after Kara has come back home, to make sure that she's safe, that Alex is staying with her for now.

Looking at the blonde tucked into blankets on the couch, soft and vulnerable, Lena can't bring herself to say goodbye, so instead, she just leans over to kiss Kara on the forehead and says good night.

Then without a word, without even packing a bag, Lena Luthor leaves National City to lure her brother out of the shadows.

Lena makes her exit just as the team is on the cusp of finding out that Lena Kieran is Lena Luthor.

She leaves her apartment intact, knowing that Kara and the rest of the team will eventually search it. She sticks the surveillance photo of her and Kara on the bedroom mirror and writes on the glass in red lipstick: "I'm sorry. I promise I'll make this right."

J'onn is the only one who knows the truth of who Lena really is, and in the end, he's the one who tells them.

With Lena gone, it's clear to J'onn that she's about to do something monumentally stupid, like sacrifice herself for the team. He gathers everyone, and tells them the truth.

The group is gathered around the conference table, staring at pictures of young Lena on the screen.

Tiny Lena, not even 5 years old, just after she was adopted by the Luthors, her wide green eyes sad and confused, her little hands clutching a worn, well-loved teddy bear.

Six year old Lena and a teenaged Lex Luthor standing together in front of Lena's new school. The little girl in her neat uniform, holding onto the older boy's hand, looking at her big brother with an adoring smile.

Fifteen year old Lena on summer vacation, and a now-adult Lex, the young girl perched on the hood of a restored vintage car with Lex's hand on her shoulder. Lena is thinner, more gaunt, and her smile less bright, but Lex is different. He's grinning at the camera, looking every inch the charismatic billionaire playboy. You would never know from Lex Luthor's easy smile that he had already been killing for 5 years at this point.

Finally, the last Luthor family portrait, taken the year Lex was arrested. They're a beautiful family, there's no denying that. Each person in the photograph is regal and proud — but in each set face, there's a private war being waged. Lena looks far older than her sixteen years. Her face shows no emotion in each cut line, but her eyes betray all: a somber intensity that's impossible to look away from. Lex is the exact opposite. His smile is charming and draws the viewer's gaze, but his eyes are cold and dead. Within 8 months, Lex would be in prison, Lionel would be dead, Lillian would be running the company, and Lena would no longer be a Luthor.

Kara feels... she doesn't know how she feels.

There's anger, shock, confusion and... hurt. A lot of hurt, a heavy ball of it resting on the base of her spine, mixed with the ache of a longing she doesn't understand, something broken that only confuses her more. So she decides to settle on the anger.

Yes, anger is good. It gives her a sense of purpose and clarity, and it doesn't threaten to make her curl up into a tiny ball. She's angry that her best friend — one of the most important people in her life, second only to Alex — has been hiding all of this from her for years. She's angry that Lena, who has taught her so many things — not just about being a profiler, but about life and love and friendship — didn't trust her enough to tell her about any of this.

Anger is good, because it keeps the tears stinging the back of her eyes from falling, because... because Kara's always thought she knows Lena better than anyone. Had believed that out of everyone, Lena had trusted her, Kara Danvers, enough to get to know her. But now, it seems she doesn't really know Lena at all.

The screen flickers.

Everyone blinks up at the screen in confusion as it begins to glitch. Suddenly, the photos of Lena disappear from the monitors. It’s replaced by what looks like a grainy video feed. Kara turns to J’onn, who shakes his head, frowning. This was not his doing.

“What the hell?” Alex frowns up at the monitor and nudges Winn, who immediately squints into his computer screen. “Who’s doing that?”

“I have no idea...” Winn mutters. “Gimme a second...”

It looks like feed from a surveillance video, except it’s showing what looks like a cabin. Even from the pixelated image, it looks well-decorated, expensive, like something from a country home magazine. Outside the far window, Kara can see a view of snow-capped mountains. Outlined in the middle is a dark shadow of a man.

“They live soft, luxurious lives, don’t they? Your so-called friends. Oblivious, unencumbered by knowledge, and so pathetically... mortal. Fragile.” A smooth baritone voice cuts through the static, and Kara’s blood chills. That voice is familiar. “You and I, we have been trained in the hard school of danger and war. Haven’t we, sister mine?”

Another figure steps out of the shadows and into view, and Kara gasps. Even in the grainy image, Lena’s smile is sharp and icy. “Comparing yourself to Alexander the Great now, are you? But then again, you always were trying too hard, Lex.”

I don't know exactly how happens, I haven't figured it out yet, but Lena confronts Lex with the intention of killing him, except she's the one who's "killed".

And Lex, being the sadistic ass that he is, had the whole thing captured on a hidden camera and it's being broadcast on every BAU monitor, for Lena's family to see.

The whole team watches Lena "die".

But Lena had a failsafe. She told someone of her location, maybe Andrea or Jack or Jess idk, and had them standby to help her in case something happened.

The whole time Lex streams their confrontation, Kara is frantic. The table suffers under her fury, splintering with the force of her desperate grip.

Every time they get nowhere trying to track Lena and Lex, Kara punches the walls, and Alex has to hold her sister back, afraid of how Kara is losing control.

When the feed broadcasts Lena's death, it seems almost unremarkable. One second, Lena is standing, the next she's on the floor, lifeless and unmoving.

A deadly silence grips the BAU conference room. No one is moving, not even breathing. It's as if when Lena dropped dead on the feed, so did they. They wait. And wait.. and wait.

Lena doesn't move.

On the screen, Lex checks his sister's vitals and satisfied, steps over his sister's body and out of sight. The camera blacks out.

They all stare dumbly at the screen for a long moment, afraid to move, as if moving from their frozen spots would make it true.

It's Alex who stirs first. She jumps into action, frantic, ordering Winn to get the feed back, but it's impossible. The room erupts in a blaze of action, but Kara... Kara's the only one left staring at the screen, frozen in shock and disbelief, as if she can't believe it's real.

It’s not. It’s not.

In the interim between Lena's death and the reveal that she’s alive, Kara spends every waking moment hunting down Lex or secretly looking into Leviathan (which she also uncovers when she digs deeper into Lena’s life before the Luthors and learns more about Lena’s mother).

Kara goes down so deep into the rabbit hole, that Alex is genuinely afraid for her sister. She almost prays that they don't find Lex Luthor. Not because she doesn't want that man brought to justice, but because she's afraid of what Kara can and will do once she sees him.

Kara hasn't mentioned Lena's name in months. But then again, most of their team hasn't.

In the months since Lena’s death, two new members have been brought int the BAU team, William Dey and Nia Nal.

William and Nia know very little about Lena from the team itself, because her name is hardly mentioned. Nia only knows Lena through her reputation, and through what Alex and the other agents outside of their team have told her. 

Alex is the only one in the team who says Lena's name because she hates that everyone tiptoes around it.

Lena was their friend. Her friend, and it's not right that everyone flinches at her name, that they can't look at the plaque of her on the memorial wall. She knows how hard it is to look at Lena's picture there, just as hard as it was to look at Kara's blood on the walls.

But Alex is not gonna be the one to look away. Lena didn't look away when they cleaned Kara's blood off the walls, and Alex will not look away from her either. She's gonna hunt Lex Luthor down like the animal that he is and make him pay for taking Lena from their family.

But Alex is getting worried about Kara.

Her sister doesn’t sleep anymore. Barely eats. Kara doesn't stop — she pores over old files of Lex's murders, goes over the old profile, possible places he might be. Alex is worried about her fixation with Lex. It's not healthy. Kara's grief — or her refusal to grieve — is gonna drive her to the ground.

So she confronts Kara about it.

They're in the BAU conference room when Alex finally speaks up, but Kara meets her gaze head on. With one hand, she points to the empty seat Lena used to favor, right across Kara's. "Lena's chair, Alex. What do you see when you look at it?... Nothing, right? We've left it empty all this time. No one can bear to sit it in. Tell me, what do you see, right now?"

Alex glances over at the chair, then back at her sister "Kara..."

"Tell me what you see, Alex."

Alex sighs. "Nothing."

"Exactly. Nothing." Kara nods, her eyes hard. "Do you wanna know what I see? I see her, Alex. I see Lena sitting across from me, just as clearly as I can see you now.”

Alex swallows at the intensity burning in her sister’s eyes.

“I see her everywhere, Alex. All the time. I see her smile, her eyes, and I—" Kara's voice cuts off with a sob. The agony in her eyes is almost too much for Alex to take. It takes a long moment before Kara can speak again.

"I can't stop, Alex. Whenever I stop and I look at her, I — I know she's - she's gone, but she looks so alive, and I— I know the only way I can get any kind of peace about it is knowing that Lex Luthor has been wiped off the face of the earth."

A frisson of fear shivers down Alex's spine. "Killing Lex won't bring Lena back, Kara."

"I know that, Alex." Kara's eyes are dark as flint. "Believe me. I know."

Sometime after Lena’s “death”, the BAU receives an unannounced visitor.

Lillian Luthor strides into the BAU bullpen, tall and imperial in her furs, her icy glare making everyone it lands on feel small and insignificant.

She strides past the bullpen, past Kara, and comes face to face with J’onn. Her cold blue eyes render everyone in the room silent. She scoffs her hatred into his face.

 "Taking my son away from me wasn't enough for you people, was it? You had to take my daughter away from me too. I warned her. I warned her this would be her undoing, and I was right. And now she's dead." 

They end up having to work with Lillian to find Lex, because as Lillian says "It takes a Luthor to find a Luthor." [And there's gonna be an interrogation lol. I just have this vague idea of Lillian talking about Lex and Lena.]

"The truth is, I lost Lena long before now.” Kara suspects that this is the closest anyone has come to hearing regret in Lillian Luthor’s voice.

“I was.... harsh on her, in a way I never was with Lex. Lex always had a sharp edge to him, but Lena — Lena was too soft, too vulnerable. A Luthor cannot be soft. Not when the world is watching, waiting for you to make the smallest mistake."

It’s not enough. It’s nowhere near enough. Kara slams her hands on the table, unable to believe the nerve of this woman. J'onn grips her arm in warning, but Kara ignores him, snarling at Lillian, her anger plain on her face. "You abused her! You made her feel unworthy of love, unable to trust anyone—"

Lillian lifts her chin. "I made sure my daughter could face a world that's hungry for Luthor blood. I made her a Luthor."

"She was just a little girl when she came to you!" Kara shouts, her fury growing by the second. "A little girl whose mother just died, who was looking for love, and instead she found you. She trusted you—"

Lillian's voice rises, a flash of heat scorching the cool, detached dignified tones. "I made her strong!" 

"She didn't need to be strong!" Kara yells, surging up to her feet, her face inches away from Lillian. J'onn grabs her shoulder, restraining, but Kara presses forward. "She needed someone to love her! And you answered that with nothing but condescension and neglect! The only one in your family who made her feel loved was a psychopath who betrayed her!"

Lillian is struck silent, her eyes wide and her face strained as she stares at Kara. Kara meets the older woman's eyes, staring her down without the fear that a younger Lena must have shown Lillian all those years ago.

Kara wishes she could've been there to hold that young Lena in her arms, wishes she could've taken her away from the family that broke her.

"The Luthor name didn't deserve Lena. You never deserved her."

#supercorp #lena luthor #kara danvers #supergirl #katie mcgrath #melissa benoist #me trying to write #I guess it could also fit with any crime drama not just CM #tbh I haven’t watched the show in I don’t even know how long. I was just watching a crime drama show and I had these in my drafts so #enjoy I guess? or not there’s a truck full of angst in this thing #p.s. this is like my FAVORITE characterization of Lillian. i tried my best 👉👈 please be kind #this is version 2.0 of my Criminal Minds AU cos i had to rework that one. and honestly i think this one is better #more fully realized i guess? idk it's 2am #sorry for the long post 😅

[joshdonnas]

In which Ainsley makes an innocent question and gets subjected to The Joshdonna Show ™️ (featuring Sam).

17 PEOPLE (2x18) | The West Wing (1999-2006)

#twwedit #thewestwingedit #the west wing #ainsley hayes #josh lyman #donna moss #sam seaborn #josh x donna #josh x donna x sam #s2 #2.18 #userthing #userbbelcher #usersource #useroptional #tvfilmgifs #chewieblog #smallscreensource #long post tw #GOD THIS GOT SO LONG I'M SORRY 😅😅 #i started and i couldn't stop because this entire dialog is gold. #also this was a nightmare in every single possible way. to make. to color. to size. anyways #and the new post editor gave me a headache

[zabiume]

LOVED your response to the ichihime ask about ichigo's feelings, and i guess i wanted to add to it by asking how you would envision ichigo's crush on her, what kind of thoughts he would think, because he's very hard to read in the romance department lol

i got another ask similar to this one about ichigo's feelings, but my inbox seems to have eaten it up because i don't see it here anymore (even though the number of unread asks it says i have still hasn't changed...), so i guess i'll answer them both here

i mean, we know their first meeting had a big impact on ichigo, even if orihime herself doesn't remember the encounter, and we also know based on what he says to rukia that he'd kind of been keeping an eye on her ever since their paths crossed in high school, so i'd say it began as a kindred soul thing: she lost someone close to her, he lost someone close to him, he knows what it's like, so he can't help but keep an eye out for her, worry about her, etc. he notes that she gets hurt every day, so i'm guessing it was a kind of situation where he'd be minding his own business or going his own way and then out of the corner of his eye, he hears/catches sight of her getting into something clumsy as usual. a dropped book here, a loud crash there.

i'd say his feelings at this time are pretty similar to orihime's feelings in the 'one way sympathies' chapter. he begins to understand her or feel closer to her because of this loss, but they're not necessarily close friends so he can't explain why he feels close to her. he mostly just ignores it all as background noise unless she's directly in front of him. we also know that she told him about her brother and her hairpins some time pre-canon, so maybe she brought it up in casual conversation once ("i never go anywhere without them" etc etc) and ichigo remembered it because he remembers seeing her and sora at the clinic and he knows how much sora meant to her. it's not unreasonable to guess that, having sisters of his own, he could kind of put himself in that situation and feel vehement about that happening to his own sisters. who would take care of them if he died? little sisters need big brothers, and having lost hers, ichigo probably couldn't help but really feel for her.

i think it's important to remember that ichigo ends up caring about people deeply very easily. after orihime encourages him to save rukia, and after she accompanies him with his other friends to help him fight a battle that has nothing to do with her, i think it's safe to say he's touched and he considers her a friend–and a cherished one at that, since she ends the arc by telling him she's sorry she couldn't protect him. ichigo doesn't get to hear people say things like that to him often, because he's....usually the one saying them. so his face in that moment speaks of fondness, tenderness, maybe even a little gratitude as orihime cries about his well-being.

ichihime really gets its push in the HM arc, though, i mean it's no surprise that the amount of ichihime fanfics probably tripled in number after the arc began. and for good reason! it's kind of incredible how many times orihime gets singled out this arc even before she gets kidnapped, like the time ichigo promised to protect her, even though chad and tatsuki were also there and also injured. it's clear that he feels like he's got something to prove in front of her, and i think, at the time, he justifies it to himself as needing to make it up to her because he let his own insecurities about his hollow get in the way of protecting her from yammy. and i don't think he's even lying to himself about it. ichigo was very, very occupied with his own trauma and the plot constantly happening all the time so i think he was satisfied with surface-level reasons of, "she's a pacifist, she has trauma with her brother and THAT'S why i've got to personally make it up to her."

but i do think, deep down, he has this tendency to only ever want to look good and strong and kind in orihime's eyes, because he likes the way she looks at him when she lets some of that love and admiration shine through. he's seen it before and i think he's a little addicted to it, because when he later remembers moments where he was proud to be a shinigami, orihime shows up there twice, both times crying about how much she cares about him lol. he clearly loves it whenever she expresses her feelings for him, though i don't think he's examining it as anything deeper than the simple joy of making his friends happy.

the repeated hand motif is another thing that i think is an important indicator of how ichigo feels at the time. here's a post i made about it a while ago that never came out of the drafts:

all this to say, i think ichigo has a feeling all throughout the HM arc that orihime left her heart with him when she said goodbye. he doesn't know how to justify this feeling, just that it exists and it's strong and he needs to prove to her that he won't be letting her down. the anime surprisingly rounds this out nicely by having ichigo hold her hand after the grimmjow fight, but so much of ichigo's behavior this arc feels like the narrative's response to orihime's insecurities about their bond in chapter 199. ichigo does some pretty balls-to-the-walls crazy things this arc for orihime, so it's kind of like he's responding to her confession with magnanimous action of his own (though he doesn't know that's what he's doing; it's subconscious behavior, coming from the part of him that heard her even when he himself was asleep—his heart. this repeats for a second time when he dies at the tower but his heart hears her again. not the physical, beating thing of course, but the metaphysical thing that transcends physical form). what does orihime mean to him at this point in the story? he would say she's his friend, of course, but to us it's clear that their bond continually reminds him of what he's fighting for. he sealed his promise to her with the kanji that makes up his name. his life's purpose lies in protecting people, and as long as there's someone to protect, someone he promised to protect, he'll never die.

fullbring arc shakes things up by a) having them get closer as friends who share mundane interests, like reading the same manga or sharing mutual friends (esp tatsuki, who he seems to have made up with) or just chilling and hanging out in his room and b) having him actually acknowledge that orihime wants to protect him, too, and is now actually capable of doing that. before, ichigo could easily brush her under the wing of his protection, but it's here that he's got to contend with the fact that he might have an equal soon—a potential battle partner, which is something he's never had before going into horn of salvation.

which brings us to the 10-year-timeskip. i've said it before, but once the surface-level reason of wanting to protect her, just like he wants to protect everyone, is swept away, i do think he's got time and space to consider the fact that he might actually have a crush on her. AKA, this, to me, is the first time he realizes it for what it is and says it out loud to himself. he's always been able to distract himself or justify his feelings to himself using plot events before, but they're in a period of peace now and that's when i think he realizes that he wants to be with her. i don't think he could have ever had that realization if he was still paranoid about her safety, because duty comes first to him, but now that he's not, i think he realizes that he just likes spending time with her and spending hours in his room, with or without their friends, just talking and relaxing. they grew up together and she's seen every side of him—pre-powers, shinigami, hollow, quincy, powerless, what have you—so i think it moves him, knowing that she's been by his side through it all, seeing him up close in all his forms and versions, and maybe he's ready now for her to see what he's like as a lover too. if she'd love that version of him, just like she did with everything else! he's sensitive and protective of his own feelings, so he'd only make that move once he had a guarantee that it would be accepted. that he would be accepted. and orihime has obviously always tried to accept him for who he is, even when he was at his worst, so he feels safe in giving this side to her too!

#sorry this is so long; i just have very specific opinions about ichigo's feelings that i can't summarize with a shorter post😅 #ichihime #asks #to the other older asks in my inbox....i'm sorry but i literally can't see them anymore😭 idk why this is happening #i think most of ichigo having a crush is just him going: i wonder what inoue is doing...i wonder if inoue got home safe... #i wonder if inoue would come over today if i found the right reason to invite her...👉👈 #inoue looks so nice..let me not look at her at all and then scream if uryu or chad make a comment about it #he's very smart but he's also very dumb <3

[burnthatbridge]

— Paige Lewis, “The Terre Haute Planetarium Rejected My Proposal” from Space Struck {insp.}

#evan buckley #911 edit #why is every sad quote i see on this site buckcore??? #i'm sorry for more glitch gifs except i am not at all i love them too much #i know i should wait to post this but i am so happy to have made a gifset after so long that i can't #haven't made one since june #(i wonder what time suck project i started then? 😅) #myedit

[bambeebirdie]

There are two things involving Shockwave and Elita-1 I’d really love to see in a transformers series (they are not compatible):

1. Them being absolutely enemies. Elita and Shockwave hate each other. They got like 4 billion years of extra war between them and they cannot stand even the sight of one another. Optimus and Megatron wish they hated each other as much as Shockwave and Elita do. They should get to be silly, terrible rivals at least once, please <3

2. Shockwave and Elita-1 ending the war on Cybertron and for a more crack version of this getting together too. Genuinely I’d be so into a series where like Optimus and Megatron establish communication back with Cybertron and the war is just over. Even funnier the war is over and their respective romantic partners are now married

#I’m like so sorry if this isn’t coherent I’m a bit eepy #shockwave has gotta be one of my favorite transformers and I always shock people when they learn I’m not much of a wavewave fan #like soundwave and shockwave are a great concept. the fan work is neat. I’m just much more into shockwave/Megatron #and recently the utter crack that is Elita/Shockwave #i am kinda into Elita/Optimus. blame a pal of mine. I just think they’re kinda neat and kinda cute #Optimus/Megatron coming back to Cybertron only to see that the war is over and Elita/SW are now married: ‘What happened!?!?’ #shockwave/Elita: ‘… in our defense you were gone a long time’ #i have like such a terrible mix of crack and very serious ideas for both versions in this post #i may or may not write something for both of these but I’m so bad at finishing content so no promises 😅 #just for the sake of adding more to the terrible enemies idea #Elita: ‘the most terrible man in this war…’ Bee: ‘Megatr-‘ Elita: ’Shockwave’ #shockwave: ‘no one understands my intense rivalry with Elita-1’ Starscream: ‘who?’ #transformers #gen1 transformers #elita one #shockwave #do these two even have a ship tag??? i doubt it #shockwave x elita #idk #optimus prime #megatron #Honestly tho I just wish they could interact like at all #There’s so much potential with them being the ones left behind on Cybertron but no one wants to talk about it

[gideongrovel]

Brook seems like the kind of guy who buys full pajamas sets to sleep in,,,, however Gideon couldn't be bother with all that, it just wears Brook old touring merch tee shirts as his jammies 😴

Taglist; @frankenbridez @goldenshrine @pinkdinkydoon @bobmckenzie @eternally-smitten @cherubdulce @ilovekirei @citrus-selfships @negativespiritapologist @ssozo @taintedloveletter @fates-theysband @sweettoothselfships @dissonantyote @wesleypresleys @keyblade-ships @luaseternal @frozenhi-chews @bioexorcizm @k1ssmeinmydreams @bipocselfship-archive want to be added or removed let me know

#i wanted to draw Brook sleepy time in a bonnet since shipping with him and i finally did... 😌 #no matter how long he stays as a main f/o or wips i never finish.... i did the one that i wanted to do most so i can be at peace... 😌 #f/o #f/o art #self ship art #selfshipping art #fictional other #bipoc selfship #self ship #was gonna give them both the lil sleepy snot bubbles... but i forgor #my post #my art #also sorry taglist is on the main part of the post instead of a reblog... since i wanted to queue this one 😅 and its easier this way #Brook

[druidberries]

a few weeks later...

it's been a while since we've last seen the Stein family and I think an update is in order. when we last saw them it was New years Eve, we'd just found out Elowen is immortal, and at least half of Sebastian's family are vampires. in the time that we've been gone a lot has changed for this family. Sebastian finally got all the answers he's been seeking, about who his mother really was, about her family, and about himself.

this post is pretty long and lore heavy so I've written it in a different style and put it under the cut

-

Sebastian met- more like reunited with- Griffin, his mother's (Rosalie's) best friend. The person who knew all the answers to his questions and was willing to give them. Griffin explained everything to Sebastian, everything his father (Christopher) refused to.

"I grew up with your mother, she was my best friend, my family, hell she even made me your godfather. When I found out your dad wasn't giving you the truth I knew I had to come find you. You deserve to know just what your mother went through."

"As they got closer to your due date...she didn't improve, she knew she had no choice but to try the cure. At this point she knew you were a vampire as well and if the cure did work, she could potentially cure you as well. Only it didn't exactly have the effect she'd hoped for. She was still a vampire and as far as she knew you were too..."

previous // next

#im so sorry this is so long #if you read all of this #i truly love you #also i realized i hadnt said it #but christopher is a human #a few more 'catch up' posts before we get to present time #i dont particularly like the way this looks but it was the easiest way to add SO MUCH into one post #but after the posts talking to griffin we are back to regular looking posts !! #and a lot less lore heavy 😅 #ts4 #ts4 legacy #sims 4 #sims 4 legacy #s4 #s4 legacy #tjolc #save: tjol #tjol: sebastian stein #tjol: griffin kane #tjolgen1

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

How would the SVE adventurers and mages react to the fact that the Farmer gave peace to the shadow people by bringing the souls of their loved ones to them? We see Magnus and Marlon be very confused about why the shadow people are acting so weird (I.E not attacking anymore), so how would they and the others feel about getting the news that the Farmer just... casually brought peace between the shadow people and humans just because they could? (Also, sorry if I'm flooding your inbox too much I just really like your content-)

Please don't ever feel like you're flooding here. I'm always happy to see you and others in my askbox ☺️💕 Thanks so much for the question, hope you enjoy it!

Be warned - this post is so, so long....

_________________________________________

Absolutely everyone has noticed a change in the behavior of the shadow people..... In the mines of the Stardew Valley, in the Highland caves, even in the Crimson Baldlans. Everywhere this civilization resided, great changes had taken place.

A topic that became a furor for all the inhabitants of the magical world. The young monster hunters in the recent reports that the shadow shamans, instead of their usual aggression towards them, had simply... retreated. Where? Why? Mages have been discussing for days now that they have stopped noticing shadow people at all in their raids.

All of this did not go unnoticed, and the Ministry of Magic along with the Order of Pythagoras became very worried because of such a drastic change in the monsters' behavior. The Guild heads and the First wizard and witches already called several secret meetings in a row to find out who or what caused this event.

Farmer's friends and acquaintances were also there, puzzling over whether this was a dark plan by a renegade mage to gather an army of shadow people to storm the Crimson Badlands, or an initiative by the shadow people themselves in retaliation to humanity for past wrongs?

Few people realized later that it was enough to ask a young and chaotic farmer to find out the truth about all this...

_________________________________________

Aside from his complete willingness to protect people at the cost of his own life, Lance admits that all the fuss has sparked a genuine curiosity and desire to capture all the details in his book. He still considers the shadow people to be something more than a bunch of mindless and ruthless monsters and hopes that he won't have to spill anyone else's blood. If the pink-haired adventurer is lucky, maybe he can figure out what's going on with shadow people and finish his book.

Whatever the top wizards and adventurers accept, Alesia prepares for a fight. The battle sniper will start training the young warriors of Castle Village even harder, check all the positions of the main wall protecting the settlement, give orders to replenish the arsenal with all weapons, organize shelters in case of irreparable situation.... All hard work, for the sake of saving the people Alesia swore to defend to the last drop of blood.

If the adventurers under Alesia's command had a hard time with the increased training, then for those with Isaac as their boss, the following days became a living hell. No rest, no indulgences. "The monsters will not give you a second to rest or to be weak. Focus!" - was a phrase that had become imprinted on young minds during the training. But Isaac can be understood: he does everything he can to ensure that his charges can defend themselves and others. He doesn't spare himself either: training - sleep, training - sleep. That's his schedule for now.

Jolyne was serious about training her Guild members not only in the use of weapons, but also in battle magic. She has no doubts about Lance's ability to defend himself, but the wise woman worries for the safety of the younger members of The First Slash Clan. Especially if the source of the threat turns out to be the Gotoro Empire, it will be her Guild that will receive the first and most powerful blow from the enemy on the other side of the Gem Sea... So Jolyne can't afford to relax.

While everyone is making a fuss about the shadow people, Camilla has been using all her connections in the magical and non-magical worlds to find out what happened and where. Since the head witch doesn't want to cause any more panic (and also doesn't want the conservative old farts in the Ministry to get in her way), she has quietly begun her search for the cause of the monsters' behaviour. While her own search for the truth began, Camilla quietly poured herself some tea and snacked on sweets, smiling and pretending to take it lightly again so that she would be left alone.

Jadu will sit in the front rows of the meetings and listen to every word of the magicians of the highest rank. He is excited and intrigued - it has been a long time since such a large-scale event, covered with mystery, has taken place in history. And the young mage promised himself to be the first to solve this mystery! Naturally, people's safety is paramount, but Jadu, if possible, won't miss a chance to learn something new about monster behaviour or maybe even a new spell.

Magnus and Marlon were not as excited as the young Castle Village mage. Old and wise, they know for a fact that none of this can bode well. The one-eyed adventurer has sunk even further into depressed thoughts after the day he discovered in the mines that the behavior of the shadow people has changed drastically. Marlon is also worried about the young Guild member, lest they get into trouble because of all this. Magnus, on the other hand, is fully immersed in theories about what this could mean and who might be involved, but also supporting Marlon's concern for Farmer's safety. They're also worried about Krobus's safety, and wondering how to discreetly hide them from the Order when-

Krobus! Of course! And why didn't they immediately realize to ask their shadow friend?

_________________________________________

Leaving the meeting unnoticed, Marlon and Magnus instantly teleported to the sewers beneath Pelican Town, accidentally scaring poor Krobus in the process. After apologising, the purple-haired wizard and the one-eyed adventurer began to ask about what had happened to the shadow people?

''Oh, didn't the Farmer tell you? We made peace. Can you believe this? Peace, finally... With the humans. I didn't think I'd ever see it, but my people are no longer fighting your people. We have a chance to become friends, all thanks to the kindness and endeavour of our friend Farmer. How happy I am!"

Except that it couldn't be said that after hearing this, the old men's faces directly shone with joy. Of course, they both breathed a sigh of relief at the realization that there was no secret conspiracy here, and peace in general after years of confrontation between humans and shadow people. But the fact that Farmer hadn't told anyone about it made them angry. Very angry.

Oh, here comes the culprit of the celebration and all this chaos! Farmer had deigned to come down to the sewers, wanted to treat Krobus to a pumpkin. Except that the young troublemaker didn't expect to see their mentors.... with furious expression. In a moment, Marlon had grabbed Farmer by the collar of their shirt, while Wizard with a snap of his fingers, had moved all three of them into his tower, leaving a confused Krobus with a pumpkin alone.

When Magnus teleported in the tower, he had time to call all the people he had decided to tell for the outcome of the incident. Marlon let go of the frightened Farmer, and barely suppressed the urge to lightly slap them upside the head. He was proud of his apprentice and fellow Guild member's achievement, but not to tell anyone about the peace while everyone else was pissing themselves from stress and training. Even though Farmer didn't know what was happening in Castle Village and elsewhere, it didn't negate the fact that it was their duty to report such important events.

Farmer's familiars teleported over to them in a little less than a minute: first Camilla, as always the first to learn about the news, followed later by Lance and Jolyne, and then Alesia, Isaac, and Jadu.

Magnus decided not to feel sorry for the Farmer this time:

"Well, young one. Is there anything you want to tell us?"

Everyone turned their eyes to Farmer, who craned their head into his shoulders from the scrutiny. Sighing tiredly, the Farmer began their story..... The only difference, though, was not to mention Krobus, so as not to expose their friend to danger, and Magnus and Marlon were grateful for that. But outwardly they didn't show it.

_________________________________________

When Farmer finished their story, there was a heavy silence. With an indignant half-cry of "What?!" Isaac was the first to break the silence. It didn't take long for the profanity to be hurled in the direction of the careless adventurer who had taken their duties so lightly and failed to report for peace with the shadow people. Isaac was angry, furious. So many days of training to learn such truth? Sure, he wouldn't want unnecessary violence and blood, but what the fuck does the Farmer allow themself!

Alesia was more well mannered, but also spoke out with annoyance at Farmer's lack of seriousness about their duties. They should have immediately reported to the head of the Guild or other senior adventurers first. But they didn't think it was important. A serious lapse in discipline.

To be honest - Jadu wasn't as angry as he was intrigued at what the Farmer had done. Peace? With shadow people? That's so exciting! A whole historical event, and when the others are done with their scolding Farmer, Jadu is sure to ask Farmer so many questions about current event.

Lance breathed a sigh of relief as he realised that there was no dire danger. At least not yet. The only one of them to smile sympathetically at Farmer as they blushed under the onslaught of scolding. He, like Jadu, is very interested in asking Farmer questions about how they were able to accomplish what people in the past couldn't. Farmer is a true peacemaker, and Lance bows to the heroism and bravery of the young adventurer. But praise will come later, now it is scolding, for this could have ended in injury, or even death, for Farmer.

Jolyne, on the other hand, decided to cross her arms and watch Farmer blush with a predatory smile. Camilla joined the head of The First Slash and silently watched this funny situation. What was interesting was that both Jolyne and Camilla had guessed Farmer's involvement even before Magnus and Marlon left the meeting, back then. Camilla's connections pointed to Farmer having become suddenly involved in soul gathering at Crimson Baldlans more recently. While Jolyne had seen Farmer leaving the Mines the day the shadow people's behaviour changed. She had been visiting Marlon then, and hadn't paid much attention to Farmer. She should have. Well, all is well now, and she and Camilla are enjoying the comedic situation.

Magnus and Marlon have the last word, as the official mentors of the most chaotic Farmer in the entire world. Farmer were the most unpleasant to listen to their chastisement, with a face the colour of a tomato.

But after the heavy scolding, both mentors thanked Farmer for their exploit, not forgetting to say how proud they were of them. This made the Farmer's mind go even further into a stupor. Even though Farmer had not intentionally created this chaos, and the fact that it could have ended badly for them, none of the people present dared to deny the fact that Farmer had once again done the impossible and that they were grateful for this peace. Everyone agreed with Marlon and Magnus's words, even the grumpy Isaac, and asked that in the future if anything happened, to let them know.

So much for the life and adventures of the disaster Farmer...

#Holy crap this post is so long..... Wow. #like holy moly did i really write it so long #but the idea inspired me so much #thanks for the ask! #i was so excited to write about SVE people again 💕 #sve #stardew valley expanded #stardew valley #sve jolyne #sve camilla #sve magnus #sdv wizard #sdv marlon #sve lance #sve jadu #sve isaac #sve alesia #sve headcanon #it's midnight again baby! so if you saw grammar error - sorry 😅 #no beta we die like Magnus' and Marlon's hope for one peaceful day without a incidents with chaotic Farmer

[the-converse-high-top]

this is going to sound really fucked up but i just need to say it i think.

I never realized that people could actually care. I always thought that the depictions of friendship in movies and TV shows were over-the-top portrayals, and weren't things that actually happened. This was then exacerbated by the fact that my entire life I always wanted people to just Know How I Was Feeling like they do on TV and I found out that that's Not How It Works. I always thought I was naive for caring so much about my friends and for doing nice things for them out of the blue, and I always resented myself for resenting my parents for not doing more for me as a child.

So when I got to uni, and my friends started caring about me and asking if I was ok when I looked sad and doing nice things for me, I didn't know what to do with myself. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me in a long time. When I was staying with a friend, and she said that she left the window open in the room I was going to be staying in because I liked it to be cold when i sleep, I bluescreened. I didn't know how to respond. It is quite literally one of the nicest things anyone had ever done for me. No one had ever paid that much attention to the things I liked. Every year on my birthday it was either a gamble if I would get something I actually wanted from my parents (spoiler alert: I was often disappointed) or I would just have to straight up tell them what I wanted. I got accustomed to the latter, and now I don't mind, but receiving two gifts from friends about languages this year made me realize that I could have it so much better.

And don't even get me started on online friends. I sort of thought that everyone was lying about them? Or that it was something unattainable, and reserved only for God's Chosen Favorites or something. But no, there are little people in my phone who care about me. They legitimately care about me as much as I care about them. I've been nervous to ask them about their well-being because I'm still nervous about being naive and getting a wake-up call that no one cares again, but after being told that they were worried about me when I overslept, I think i should know that I'm in the clear. And that's not even including all the times they tell me to go to bed when it's late, and when they ping me about things I may enjoy or things I was involved in.

All this is to say I guess that I'm touched that people remember my existence. It makes me feel good to be wanted. I will be eternally grateful to both my irl and online friends who made me realize that just because my parents or my friends from home didn't care enough to remember what I like or to go out of their way to do nice things for me, it doesn't mean that no one will. I need to step up and do more for you guys. I trained myself to push down my desire to help and check in with people because I thought I was betting on something that I'd never get in return, but now I know I can.

Thank you all, and I love you 💚

#uf this is a long one sorry 😅 #i put it under a cut so it wont clog up your dash #btw if you are an online friend and you do something nice for me #what you arent seeing is me squealing and crying and bluescreening before giving your message a heart emoji and possibly the 🥹 emoji #the 🥹 emoji to me is a dear friend #🥹 to me in the context of accepting nice things means that im basically already crying #i am so incredibly appreciative of you all #i will not stop saying it #and i need to say it more to my irls faces #if you know me irl and you see this expect me to tell you very soon that i fucking love you #and if youre an online friend and you have vagueposted about something happening to you since ive met you #you may or may not get a message about it (depending on how chicken i am) because i fucking care about your well-being goddamnit #idk idk idk i just #it still amazes me that this isnt fake #that you actually care #i keep thinking that ill say something wrong or whatever and ill lose it all #but in the back of my mind i know that isnt true #i should probably be telling all this to a therapist but therapy is expensive and posting online is free #there was something else i wanted to say but i forgor so ill edit and add it when i rember #ok to rb #long post #personal

[help-me-find-a-name-please-lol]

CM HOTCH/REID HEADCANONS

My headcanon about Hotch leaving in Season 12, Reid's reaction, and trying to have it make some kind of sense.

Disclaimers:

This is the first rewatch of the later seasons I've done since it aired on TV, and I've only just finished Season 12 episode 4 (I do, however, know the early seasons ridiculously well).

From LDSK onwards, I only ever really watched it for Hotch, Reid, and the Hotch/Reid dynamic. I didn't really watch it after Hotch left, but caught bits and pieces because my roomates did.

Yes I know why Thomas Gibson left the show and why they had to suddenly wrap up his character. No, I don't condone violence in the workplace. I also never dove deeply into the behind-the-scenes lore of this show, cast and crew interviews, etc etc. This will purely be relating to the show as it was depicted on screen, and my love for the characters as their own entities.

I am not going back to fully source which eps all my observations come from, cos I'm supposed to be working on an assignment rn and CM transcripts are a ducking nightmare. I just wanted to put this idea out there cos I think we all need a bit of self-soothing after the crap they fed us to write Hotch out of the show.

Also fun story I just came back to finish writing this after being interrupted by what I though was someone trying to break into my house at 4am (heard a noise, gate wide open, can't see anyone but damn, scary. My town's big on crime, too). SO my thoughts may now be even more disorganised thanks to the adrenaline crash headache I'm currently experiencing.

So anyway like I said, just finished watching S12E04 Keeper, during which Reid gets a call we don't hear, is visibly upset by it, and takes a bit of prodding to discuss it with JJ and Rossi. He then reveals that he was just told his mother left her care facility on her own and was found wandering confused around a casino. He takes minimal convincing to head back to Quantico and lines himself up another couple of days off to visit his mum (yes I'm Australian, this is how we spell it lol).

MY HEADCANON: This is when Hotch called Reid to tell him that he was going into witness protection and wouldn't be coming back. (Exactly how much was discussed on the phone vs possibly being discussed/explained later in person is of course open to interpretation, but enough for Reid to know Hotch wanted to say goodbye and to not tell the rest of the team).

I know that his mum's issues are an ongoing valid storyline. But this is why it was also a plausible excuse for Reid to come up with on the spot as to why he was upset.

Another thing that makes it entirely plausible that the phone call was about Hotch is the long, significant staring Reid did at Prentiss as she walked away after they discuss what supposedly happened with his mum. To me that could scream that Reid was actually dealing with something team-related, and was already grieving how it would affect the other members of his team that he's keeping it from. He could have gazed down or elsewhere to communicate his worry for his mum to the audience, but he specifically turned and watched Prentiss leave, looking all angsty.

What's a heck of a lot less plausible:

His mum, who has been in care since Reid became a legal adult, suddenly escaping her care facility, despite having been in care for well over a decade and who now needs even more supervision due to Alzheimer's on top of her Schizophrenia. Yeah, escapes happen, but to make it all the way into a casino and being found in a confused state? When this didn't happen before Reid flew up and got her diagnosed her with Alzheimers? Even though she'd been getting some increased freedoms for doing well on her new meds prior to her sudden worsening with the Alzheimer's onset?

Hotch leaving without saying something directly to Reid first. Yeah, I'm a shipper, and I know Hotch has his son to think about, but I call BULLSHIT. Hotch knows all about Reid's abandonment issues and there is no way he'd want to end up on the same mental list Reid keeps alongside Reid's father and Gideon. When Gideon went AWOL, Hotch returned from suspension, despite the fight he knew it would cause with his wife, because "the team" needed him. Then Haley stressed "no, they need Gideon". Fully believe this was all just about Reid (I also kinda low-key believe Haley had an inkling about Hotch's thing for Reid but anyway). Hotch, Reid and Morgan functioned as a team while Gideon was on leave after the bomber case, Morgan didn't even really want Gideon to come back and would not have been that thrown by his absence. Reid however we all know was very emotionally-involved. And it's Reid that Hotch pulls aside to get his head back in the game (and who then gives them a breakthrough in the case shortly after, at Hotch's encouragement). When Gideon had officially left and Hotch addressed the team about it, he mostly directed what he was saying towards Reid, when he said that he couldn't explain why he'd left the way he did, etc. And when Hotch was trying to decide whether he'd take over as section chief after Strauss left, again he was addressing the team but pretty much turned and spoke directly to Reid when he said something along the lines of "if I decide to leave the BAU, you'll be the first to know". He also saw how much it killed Reid to be lied to about Prentiss (and you can see he felt like shit about it during Reid's assessment). This man. Would NOT. Have left Reid without saying goodbye. That's the hill I'm dying on. On top of that, Hotch is always the most emotionally-compromised whenever Reid is in danger, and he knows it (he let Gideon know he was currently a terrible example of "handling things emotionally" while Reid was being held by Hankel, resulting in Gideon's weak reassurance of "We'll get him"; when Reid got on that train with Elle he tried to stop it then immediately went to chat with the sniper; when Reid was in the cult compound he had to hand off negotiations to Rossi; when Reid was protecting Owen Savage; heck he practically yeeted Morgan out of the way when Reid was trying to talk down Maeve's stalker and they heard a gunshot. Etc etc.). And whenever Hotch gets emotionally affected by other things (eg that defence attorney for amnesia/coma guy, or regarding his brother), Reid is the one who can break through that and keep him steady. Reid is VERY IMPORTANT to Hotch and I don't see him hurting Reid in what to him is the worst way someone could do it.

Reid being so chill about Hotch suddenly leaving without saying goodbye. Goes without saying, yeah? But I'll say it. I get that they've been trying to paint him as more emotionally-mature and that he was able to handle Morgan leaving, but it is SO not the same relationship or circumstance and Reid would not have taken Hotch's departure in stride like that. I get that they also wanted the show and its characters to move on as quickly and as apparently unaffected as possible, but it still clearly flies in the face of proper characterisation. Reid is brilliant and back when he was being held by Hankel, I'm sure he could have found any number of ways to communicate with a specific team member at that moment, but he chose Hotch. He knew Hotch would be the only one capable of putting his ego aside at being "picked to die" and to listen properly to the rest of Reid's message. Once he confirmed that his message was correct and that he was in a cemetery, Reid was so sure that Hotch understood his message and would be coming to save him that he let his guard down for the first time. I think he only picked up that gun and shot Hankel with it in the end to just superstitiously make sure that the bullet never did reach Hotch (and to "free" Tobias, or whatever. Either way Hankel wasn't going for the gun or to use Reid as a shield when he turned to face off with the FBI and any of them could have taken him down easily). They've only been getting closer and closer over the years, on-screen and off (Fist-bump anyone? Always standing close together? Plus Reid's been teaching Jack magic tricks and was the one to get him smiling and laughing after Hotch got arrested by SWAT, which you know would make Hotch even more gooey for him). They're 100% an army of 2/hyper-competent power couple (take for instance the way Hotch and Reid were mirrored against Garcia and Kevin when she referred to her own pairing as the President and Vice-President after the bank blew up?) who can probably achieve 90% of the team's success level on their own. That super-serial-killer chick may have talked about Reid losing a "protector" in Morgan, but Hotch has always been the one Reid has come to or looked to. He was pretty distraught about the idea of Hotch leaving to be Section Chief, not that long ago, too. Also, constant super-crush behaviour which I could list but this post is already very long. Reid would not just immediately go "Prentiss is our leader now, this'll be great!". FFS.

Anyway we all know the way they wrote Hotch off was bullshit, hence the suuuper-long monologue to explain everything that's apparently happened off-screen, and yeah he'd totally enter WITSEC without even telling the team (until he decided to resign) when Peter Lewis had already hacked it once and killed the person on it before the team figured out who he was after and got there 🙄. All of it is super implausible. But to me, nothing more so than Reid's poor imitation of shock/surprise and almost total lack of emotional reaction. Him knowing beforehand, because Hotch already said goodbye to him, is the only thing that will ever make me be at peace with this crap from an in-universe POV.

This could all be shot to pieces in the next ep lol, but for now I'm just glad my brain has a way to make sense of it.

#criminal minds #hotchreid #hotch/reid #heid #sorry for the super long rant #that hasn't been proofread #and my copy-paste went funny so God only knows if the same phrase I tried to move is somewhere in this post like 10 times #I wouldn't normally share but #there's not a lot of hotch/reid content #so I thought I might as well #I realise I also spewed a whole bunch of my other headcanons out there in a half-developed way #if someone takes issue with them I hope I get to explain before they yell at me that I'm wrong #like don't just assume I have poor media literacy folks. Tonight's idea may be half-formed but I can back the rest of my shit up #at least as well as any other subtextual fan-theory #ok hey it's now 6:30am! #goodnight! #😅😅😅

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

Sonine Prime ... Part 5

Hi, everyone and welcome back to Sonine Prime! The part of the show when I come out and talk about Sonine (and a bit of Sontails) in Sonic Prime!

Last time we just barely started Episode 4, so we'll be starting right back up where we left off and seeing how much of the season we can get through before Part 6.

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<< Part 4 | Part 6 >>

(Essay/thoughts/analysis under the cut)

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I lied!

A bit.

We'll pick up right where we left up in Episode 4 still, I promise. I just still wasn't over the ending of episode 3. So, I've decided to use my allotted video per tumblr post this time around to shove it in your faces because I need people to witness this ending. That I am still not over.

Do you get it do you get it do you get it?

Okay, back to the show.

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It's a tiny thing that makes me laugh more than it's relevant, but the scene where Sonic meets Mangey is funny specifically because Sonic is so desperate to find Tails/a version of Tails to help him in each shatterspace up to this point. In a way, it proves to us just how lost Sonic feels without Tails specifically, and just how much the idea of losing him freaks him out.

Sonic is so incredibly freaked out when he catches Mangey (similar to how he was when he thought Mr. Dr. Eggman was going to kill Rebel, Renegade, and Rusty Rose).

"Tails...? TAILS!"

And yet, there's something a bit different about these scenes.

Let's put something into perspective for a moment.

Imagine being Sonic the Hedgehog. Raw talent, natural speed, badnik busting practice. You're aware that no matter what, everything always turns out fine, so you can afford to be cocky. And when things get too confusing for you and "winging it" won't cut it, you've always got your trusty fox best friend. Perhaps even you're a bit scared (whether you admit it or not), you feel lost, like nothing makes sense. But that's okay, because Tails is here. Tails is smart. You can trust him to comprehend what you cannot, to try to explain it to you. Whether you understand or not, at least Tails knows what's going on. And that's enough, because that means he can come up with a plan, and if he can come up with a plan, you just have to execute it. Simple. Easy. And even if he can't understand, can't come up with a plan, at least you have each other, right?

But Sonic woke up in New Yolk alone, has been struggling thus far to understand what's going on around him (one hedgehog with a spotty memory and not even 5% of the context the audience has). So he went to look for Tails first. Because everything is messed up and wrong and Eggman took over, and Sonic doesn’t know how. He doesn't know what happened. But if he can just find Tails, everything will be all okay. Tails can explain it, work out a plan, and Sonic can execute it. They can fix everything together.

But then "Tails" doesn't remember him, neither do his "other friends". He's lost and trying to understand what's happening because no one else can explain it to him.

Or in short, Sonic in Sonic Prime is just trying to seek out the familiar in the unfamiliar, find the one thing (or person, rather) that will make everything make sense, but he can't. Tails isn't around. He's not here (not in New Yolk, Boscage Maze, or No Place). But each time he seeks him out.

And after being ripped away from Nine, and remembering how he'd lost his all his friends before that, it just... Before he knows who Mangey is, when he sees Mangey falling, he moves without thinking, desperate to have Tails back. Desperate to make sure he (and his friends) never die.

"Am I glad to see you. The world is all blgdyblublu. You gotta figure out what's going–"

Even by this point, when he's realized that there are multiple alternate versions of Green Hill, he still tries to seek out Tails/a version of him, hoping someone can make sense of things for him.

But that's the thing. He never finds Tails. Nine and some of the other residents of the shatterverse are helpful, but Sonic has to spend much of the episodes working things out on his own while just wishing things made sense (or he could find Tails, so Tails could make things make sense)

You feel?

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Did anyone ask for more Sonic & versions of Tails and Sonic & versions of Amy parallels? Cool.

So I don't remember if I said this in a previous part, but here's my personal interpretation of Sonic Prime. In Season 1, Tails/Nine/Other Tails variants are paralleled to Amy/Amy variants in regards to Sonic, while in Season 2, Nine is paralleled to Shadow. Whatever your belief is on the relationships Sonic has to certain characters or how they feel about him (and vice versa) canonically, especially in Sonic prime, it remains that S0namy and Sonadow are two of the most popular Sonic the Hedgehog ships. And this is why these Amy/Tails parallels I've been mentioning since the first part matter to me (in terms of what they mean for each of the characters, AND what they mean for Sonic, as well as what the similarities and differences mean).

So. Let's take a look at Sonic's first meeting with Thorn vs his first meeting with Nine.

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Now, the very first difference. How the first meeting went about.

It's important to note that Sonic was purposely looking for Tails back in New Yolk. So when he saw Nine, thinking he was Tails, he followed him to his lab, excited to have found "Tails" and glad one thing (the code to "Tails'" lab) was the same as before. He'd turned Nine's "chair" as he'd done to Tails in the flashback, expecting, well, anything other than for who he thought to be Tails to be attacking him. The idea that "Tails" would attack him instantly throws him off, leaving him confused and sad. But for Thorn? Sonic went into this fight expecting to fight a "monster". For the first minute of the direct fight, he doesn't see more of Thorn aside from possibly her hammer. You can tell how afraid he his by how the camera switches from the hammer to Sonic's face, and shows him desperately trying to crawl away and break free of the thorns keeping him from running. So in opposition to Sonic seeing glimpses of Nine before he meets him proper (and then starts a fight with him), approaching this initially with peace in mind, Sonic doesn’t see Thorn at all until after being hit around a couple times, until after going into all this initially expecting a fight with a "monster".

"Yes! There's my two-tailed genius friend. Surprise~!"

vs

"Amy? You're the monster? Oh. Oh, those guys up above have really got it– Ughk. —wrong."

And then, after each of these, Nine and Thorn attack Sonic.

"Tails? It's me. Your best–"

"Tails, stop! We're buds—amigos! Best friends!"

vs

"Amy, stop! We're friends! You liked me!...to some extent."

Nine and Thorn continue to attack Sonic. Nine and Sonic have a continuous attack on the underground train in the scareport (where Sonic continues to reason with him, tries to remind him of all they've been through together). Thorn sends Sonic up past the trees with her hammer, intending to end the battle altogether.

Now, a couple things to note here. Except when defending himself, Sonic never intends to actually fight Nine back in episode one. In fact, he spends much of the fight dodging and trying to reason with him. And it's clear that Sonic also never expected "Tails" to fight him. The fact that Nine does fight him, treat him like a stranger, throws Sonic off. But with Thorn? Sure, he never intended to fight her in the first place, at least not knowingly. But now that he does know who the "monster" is, he speeds down the nearest tree with clear intent to hit Thorn back. It's only because he flashes back to Amy and this suddenly makes him feel like he'd be fighting a friend does he decide against dealing that heavy blow. And while it throws him off for "Amy" to be so antagonistic, it's clear to me from the "You liked me!...to some extent", and that his first reaction was to hit Thorn back (rather than try to reason with her like with Nine), that the idea of Amy attacking him in general doesn't throw Sonic off. I'd wager that Prime Sonic has likely been at the mercy of Amy's hammer before, in the same way he'd likely never been attacked by Tails.

Now, after deciding he can't just "smash" (as Sonic puts it) Thorn with a clear conscience, he begins to try to reason with her as he had with Nine.

"Quick recap. I'm not from around here. Violence never solves anything. And where I'm from, you and I are buds. So how about we put down your big hammer and just talk, Amy?"

"My name is Thorn Rose, and you are finished!"

vs

"What did you just call me"

"U-Uh...Tails?"

"The name's...NINE!"

...

"Snap out of it, we go way back! All of my best memories of Green Hill have you in 'em, and you're not punching me! Don't you wanna go home? Blue skies, sunny beaches...palm trees?"

"I don't know what kind of mind games you're playing, but it won't work!"

And here's what's interesting about Sonic's demeanor. While he's hurt, confused, and panicked during the fight with Nine (and this shows when he tries to reason with him), he's much calmer when reasoning with Thorn. You know, it's as if to him "Amy" just got angry/lost herself and it's up to him to de-escalate the situation.

With Nine, it's reminding him what Sonic means to him (means to Tails really), of home, of their adventures. With Thorn, it's reminding her of what Sonic means to her (means to Amy really), and, when that fails, trying to calm her down (as Amy herself might) to get her to just talk instead.

Now here's another interesting tidbit for these two fights. When Sonic and Nine enter the scareport, the two of them are on equal footing for the fight. Neither of them really gains the upper hand as Nine fights and Sonic dodges. However, the fight between Sonic and Thorn mostly consists of Thorn hitting Sonic around. Even when Sonic switches from fight mode to dodge and reason with mode, it's a pretty onesided fight, and it's one that Thorn pretty objectively wins. They're not at all on equal footing here.

Luckily for Sonic, though, he's able to successfully appeal to both Nine and Thorn in the end. He saves Nine from being hit by one of the underground trains, and he saves a flicky from drowning in mud. Nine's first impression of Sonic was of a stranger, a bully, intending to harm him and take from him. Thorn's first impression of Sonic is of a greedy scavenger, one of those who would intend to hurt the forest and drain it of its resources.

The tie in? It's that between both moments (saving Nine and saving the flicky), Sonic convinces Nine and Thorn that he's...an outlier of a person.

After Sonic saves Nine, surprising him, Nine finds who he believes to be the only person who would save someone (him) when there doesn't seem to be any immediately identifiable gain for doing so, the only person who may have protected and helped him back when he was young.

While Thorn isn't fully convinced that Sonic isn't one of the scavengers, those who destroyed the forest originally, it's clear that Sonic’s action of going out of his way to help the flickies surprises her. After all, she finally begrudgingly agrees to help Sonic find his way home.

Although, it is also worth noting that while Nine begins to treat Sonic more like a friend than he's ever treated anyone like a friend (when he fixes Sonic's little problem and goes out with him to get the paradox prism), Sonic is treated more like Thorn's captive in episode 4 (one that she'll release out of the forest when his business is finished).

Finally (I apologize for the length of this section of parallels) we get to the bit where Sonic and Thorn find the green shard. So, final things to note. Yes, Sonic spent more time with Nine over 3 episodes than the small portion of 1 episode with Thorn, but I feel it's also pertinent to recognize that neither were actually particularly long stretches of time in universe. Regardless though, for the sake of the parallel, I'm only noting here that Nine has become at least a bit attached to Sonic in a way Thorn has not. Sonic and Nine marvel over the prism together. In fact, it was Nine who'd asked Sonic to "grab the shard already" so they could escape the coucil's fortress together. However, after Sonic digs up the green shard in Boscage Maze, Thorn doesn't marvel over the green shard for too long before hitting Sonic in the face with her hammer, claiming the shard as hers.

But I suppose this also comes back to one big difference between Thorn and Nine.

Nine cares pretty much only about self preservation and staying away from the general public back in episode 1. Thorn, on the other hand, cares about the forest. Thorn was quick to push aside Sonic for the shard, similar to how Nine decided for leaving Rebel, Renegade, and Rusty behind so he'd have a higher chance of escaping with the shard. Only their goals matter. It's just that Nine very quicky integrated Sonic into his plans, while Thorn had not.

Interesting, no?

Okay okay I'll say the thing. Parallels between a Tails and Amy variant both meeting Sonic for the first time and pursing a shard with him: IIII

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So, Sonic goes for the green shard with a spin dash, yelling that he needs it, Thorn goes "as if I'd give the heart of my jungle to a stranger like you. You're a scavenger like the rest" and moves to attack, and so ends episode 4.

Putting the Sonine interactions from episodes 1-3 in comparison to all this with Thorn...really makes me embarassed on Nine's behalf for how telling his actions are😂

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And now for a moment you've (me) all been waiting for (because I didn't find anything in episode 5 I wanted to talk about)...

Sonic Prime Season 1 Episode 6: Situation: Grim!

I've been excited to touch on this episode since I started this little series about Sonine. Why? Because it's one of the season 1 episodes that gives me a lot of second hand embarrassment about Sonine (in a good way!), and it's just so fun to break down.

So, without further ado, let's return to New Yolk.

So, Sonic drops in, gets roped into the ensuing battle with the rebels versus the Eggforcers, and comments that New Yolk City isn't quite how he remembers it. Then, as he goes about explaining that he met "another you" (refering to Renegade), in another place, fighting another battle and the existence of other shards, he asks Renegade where Nine is.

"Anyway. Super stoked to be back to help with...whatever the heck's going on here. Where's Nine? I gotta pick his brain about this other shard I found."

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Later, after Renegade brings Sonic to Rebel and the resistance's base, Renegade "informs" Sonic that Nine left them (Renegade, Rebel, and Rusty) "high and dry" after getting the shard. Of course, similar to the scene in which Nine attacked him in their first meeting (while Sonic thought him to be Tails, this revelation seems to make Sonic...sad (a bit of an understatement, I know). Like he just can't believe Nine would do such a thing.

"I didn't steal the shard!"

"But your fox friend did, right before he left us high and dry."

"He...did?"

Rebel goes on to explain how she and everyone else had trusted them (Sonic and Nine) as a shortened version of the end of episode 3, as well as a continuation of the scene, play out. The audience watches Nine grab the shard, stop and consider saving Rebel, Renegade, and Rusty, before deciding to escape alone with the shard rather than risk losing it over trying to save the three (but it's important to note that Sonic doesn’t see this scene. All he knows is that Nine took the shard and left). Then, Rebel explains that after the event, the resistance grew "without you or that traitorous fox".

Now, how Sonic acts and what he says next tells us a lot about how he sees Nine (or rather how he wants to).

"If they get that energy crystal back, we're done for."

"Nine won't let that happen!"

After having his life threatened by Renegade and some of the resistance (which I may mention that Sonic never gives up anything he knows about Nine to save his own hide, such as the location of his base, even if it is true that he doesn’t know where Nine is currently), Rebel shows Sonic the palm tree. As of the Boscage Maze section, the palm tree has become a symbol to Sonic of what can be, and what he's lost. It's a symbol of the bonds he has with his friends, the memories he made with them, what he hadn't cherished properly before it was gone, and of hope for fhe future. Rebel showing it to him provides adequate motivation to help the rebels, showing him just what's at stake if they fall.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me...but I'm not a traitor and neither is Nine."

"Let me prove it to you. Let me fight by your side."

Sonic how does– how does you fighting with them also prove Nine isn’t a traitor Mr. "I don't want to believe Nine would leave someone to die"

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In any case, the battle between the Rebels, Sonic, and the Chaos Council begin, and Nine shows up just like Sonic always hoped he would.

"Sonic! Hang on!"

*In Unision* "Nine?!"

"You got a plane!...kinda."

In hindsight, we know Nine came to New Yolk to find Sonic and bring him back to The Grim with him. We know this is likely his intention, given how he yells Sonic's name immediately upon appearing in New Yolk, and then says "hang on!" when he sees him in danger.

Bit of a side note here, I actually almost wonder if Nine has the ability to track Sonic (perhaps through his regulators?). I say this because there is no proof, even by season 2, that Nine had gone looking for Sonic in any other shatterspaces and seen them before (in fact there's more proof he went to Boscage Maze and No Place for the very first time while he and Sonic were trying to make off with the shards towards the end of S2). If he was looking for Sonic specifically and just so happened to know not only what shatterspace he was in but also where he was, it makes sense that Nine would be able to portal to about exactly where Sonic was and to come out of the portal yelling his name.

As for Sonic, while Rebel and Renegade are (understandably) none too happy to see him, Sonic is just...so happy, man.

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Now, for the next bit where Nine participates in battling the Chaos Council, I think the intentions here are so interesting. Because Nine? He came here just to find Sonic and bring him back. He's battling the Council to free up Sonic and give him an opening to join him. We know this because Nine practically portals out New Yolk the moment Sonic is safe in the cockpit. Basically, Nine only "helped" so he could return to the Grim with Sonic.

But Sonic? He's just got done asserting that Nine would never betray anyone. He wants to believe that Nine cares for people and fighting for good like he does (and like he believes Tails does, but how Sonic sees Tails and how Tails actually is is an essay for another time). So when Nine shows up and starts blasting the council, Sonic believes not that Nine showed up just for him, but that Nine came to help. To Sonic, Nine showing up in their hour of need proves that he's not a traitor, proves that Nine cares about spreading good and peace to New Yolk like Sonic wants to believe.

Understanding their differing points of view and stances on everything is integral to understanding the miscommunications to come in this very episode, and in the future. And, so does understanding how each of them badly want to believe in a version of the other that wants everything that they want and is the way they think they should be.

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...And that will be it for part 5 of Sonine Prime, everybody! This was a long one, and it would have been longer if not for the tumblr photo limit, but no matter. Next time we'll be continuing Episode 6, and I'll probably mention a hundred more times how embarrassing Sonic and Nine are about each other (Mr. "I smile as soon as I see you again after time apart and wanted to see you again so bad" and Mr. "We barely knew each other for a day but I want to spend my life alone with you in a world of our own making").

See you in the next one!

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic prime #sonine prime #sonine #nine sonic prime #miles nine prower #nine the fox #thorn rose #thorn rose the hedgehog #thorn sonic prime #sontails #essay time #Random thing but sorry about having just. A long deal of text about episode 4 before returning with picture after picture for episode 6😂 #Honestly if I don't restrain myself picture wise #episode 6 could take more than a few parts to tackle. I'll do my best though. If I have to I'll make it up with a video #And also sorry this post took so long to make😂😅 #I had more to say than I thought I would about episode 6‚ and it took a minute to work myself up to watch ye old comfort show knowing I'd #spend energy and braincells picking it apart to write about instead of just watching for funsies #But yeah anyways. If you've already stuck with me this far I hope you enjoyed. And I hope you enjoy the next part as much as I will enjoy #watching the episode

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

does anyone have any tips on how not to be a crippling perfectionist about your writing?? i have been staring at the same five paragraphs of the next chapter of four walls for a whole week and i've reached the point where i actually want to defenestrate my own laptop

#i've got the later parts of this chapter and a good chunk of the next one basically done #but this particular section is slowly driving me insane #UGH #why do i write characters with complex and conflicted emotions #it makes for a very complex and conflicted writing experience #(which i'm bitching about rn i know but i also wouldn't give it up for the world. it's just. a lot sometimes) #i end up second guessing myself constantly #also i haven't written anything this long for a good five years and i think the challenges of that #and the challenges of making a longer piece all tie together and work as one are really starting to set in #anyway sorry please feel free to ignore this mess of a post #i just needed to have a vent before returning to my keyboard and trying to make sense of alex's foolish little head #thanks to anyone who read their way though all this rambling 😅 #writing stuff #lulu posts

[unhinged-nymph]

A smattering of RandL screenshots from the last month or so presented with no context

#who needs context when you’re overflowing with homoerotic subtext? #this is in fact a #heart eyes alert! #link sans specs #i adore Rhett’s haircut #he saw my post about how I loved this length and he said ok sure say less #now if only he would take my advice on other things #like mythical’s PR and content management #and also how they should smooch for money #but alas #anyway look at these cuties #and hi sorry I’m such a mentally ill chaotic mess lmao and I needed to not go on social media for a couple days #which obviously didn’t last very long 😅 #rhett and link #gmm #good mythical morning #good mythical more #ear biscuits #rhett mclaughlin #link neal #rhink #cuz duh #goog caps

[slytherpuff-conversations]

Hufflepuff: Have you slept yet?

Slytherin: What answer would you prefer?

Hufflepuff: The honest one

Slytherin: …no

#long time no update #how’s everyone doing #first post of the year #in march #whoops 😅 #i know this is a short post #sorry #also realising that most of our conversations i’ve posted are about my fucked up sleep schedule #anyway time for tags #harry potter #harry potter houses #hogwarts #hogwarts house conversations #hogwarts houses #hufflepuff #slytherin #slytherin x hufflepuff #slytherpuff #slytherpuff couple #incorrect harry potter quotes #incorrect hogwarts houses #incorrect hufflepuff quotes #incorrect slytherin quotes #incorrect slytherpuff

[multicolour-ink]

In honor of Mario Day (and the movie 2 hype 🤭) here's a throwback to the first Mario fic I wrote after a long time, just after the movie's release.

#legit just realised it would've made more sense for me to do a link in the first place 😅 #for anyone who wants to skip a long post #I know it's old and flawed #but I still love it #super mario #mario #luigi #mario movie #the super mario bros movie #super mario movie #mario and luigi #mario fanfiction #fanfiction #mario fanfic #fanfic #multicolour ink writes #my writing #sorry I can't schedule stuff for specific days because I'm either too busy or tired #so here's a throwback

[supernovaae]

In-universe explanation of Javid’s esper powers and the Lion’s Heart’s effects on them:

It doesn’t look like he has to say the rule out loud either,

#so he’s like star and stripe from mha #but he can place a rule on a certain area #I wish we knew the specifics of his divine powers tho #like can he enforce a rule that makes him stronger #or can these rules only effect others? #if he can make people lethargic #can he give them an energy rush too? #can he create a rule where people can’t breathe when they get too close? #can he make a rule where no one except him can use their esper powers? #I’m taking this crumb and running with it #sorry😅 #this is just really interesting to me #long post #Javid Dislyte #Dislyte