#why do i write characters with complex and conflicted emotions

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

does anyone have any tips on how not to be a crippling perfectionist about your writing?? i have been staring at the same five paragraphs of the next chapter of four walls for a whole week and i've reached the point where i actually want to defenestrate my own laptop

#i've got the later parts of this chapter and a good chunk of the next one basically done #but this particular section is slowly driving me insane #UGH #why do i write characters with complex and conflicted emotions #it makes for a very complex and conflicted writing experience #(which i'm bitching about rn i know but i also wouldn't give it up for the world. it's just. a lot sometimes) #i end up second guessing myself constantly #also i haven't written anything this long for a good five years and i think the challenges of that #and the challenges of making a longer piece all tie together and work as one are really starting to set in #anyway sorry please feel free to ignore this mess of a post #i just needed to have a vent before returning to my keyboard and trying to make sense of alex's foolish little head #thanks to anyone who read their way though all this rambling 😅 #writing stuff #lulu posts

[keepingupwiththeboltons]

Why do people think characters making emotion based decisions is "stupid" or "unrealistic" bruh why do you want the characters to be worse written? Why do you not want the plot to happen?

#@ the cat haters why do you hate complex women more than rapists #when people criticize sansa for having emotions and not omnipitantly knowing everything about the story the reader knows #i swear 90% of the time when people call characters stupid its cause they forget the reader knows more than the characters #like yall the characters aint omnipotent #they dont know everything #for the plot to be interesting the characters and their internal and external motivations need to drive the plot #you know the only thing worth writing about is the human heart in conflict with itself #what is with like the half of the fandom that hates themes and character motivation #litterally what are you getting out of these books #fandom meta #love yall but also like i swear to god some of yall have got to learn how to read #so anyways this has been an eigth grade book report #hmm i wonder if there could ever be a reason that the two examples i could easily think of that receive unreasonable #levels of hatred are women

[daisyychainssj]

I know the whole Richas and Tallulah conflict happened hours ago and it reached a resolution and stuff but I'm just now catching up with it so I'm gonna write out my feelings about it because I think the whole thing and the way everyone is interpreting it differently is really interesting. I'm probably going to end up saying things that people said like hours ago so sorry if it's a bit repetitive to read!

!THIS IS ALL ABOUT THE CHARACTERS NOT THE CCS!

Richas POV - Okay so firstly, Richas' pov is probably the most complicated because he (obviously) has a much more complex relationship and understanding of the paintings. Not only do they cause him to be distressed because of how they're created but seeing it up on Philza's wall has just shown him that his pai Cellbit betrayed his trust. He didn't get rid of the paintings and instead has been just handing them out behind his back and I can't imagine how gut wrenching that must've been. Tallulah get's defensive about the painting and so she becomes the target of all of his hurt, frustration and fear. He is so worked up over this (understandably) and is getting increasingly frustrated because nobody is listening to him. He didn't agree to the "not be siblings anymore" ultimatum because he truly felt that way, I think he was just blinded by pure desperation. This poor kid NEEDS to be given the opportunity to sit down with someone and open up about this whole Romero Richas situation and he needs to be listened to and his fears taken seriously.

Tallulah POV - Now onto Tallulah's pov. For Tallulah this painting is a cute art piece of her papa phil and her brother Chayanne and suddenly her other brother is demanding that he take it back. Yes it's his painting but also she's a kid, in her eyes this painting was given to them and it's theirs now why would she give it back just so it can be destroyed? Also, Tallulah is the sweet egg! the kind egg! oh she's just so lovely and that's all there is to her!!!!! (sense my sarcasm here) sometimes when that is the way that someone presents themselves it's because they're scared that if they aren't that way they won't be liked/loved and people will leave if they're not prefect. This girl has abandonment issues on top of abandonment issues and Richas agreed to not be her sibling anymore over a painting. So this impacted her HARD. (we ofc know Richas didn't mean it but her character didn't) Tallulah acts out and (from her pov) stands her ground for once and now her brother doesn't want to be her brother anymore. I also think her throwing a tantrum and being a bratty made some of the audience even more shocked and dare I say frustrated at Tallulah behaving like this during this situation because that's not how they're used to her being. She was being stubborn and giving these intense ultimatums but she can be like this I think people just don't see it often because she only really lets her guards down in that way infront of Phil and Chayanne.

So now you have two extremely worked up kids who won't really listen to each other because their emotions are so heightened and that's to be expected! Children can not and should not be expected to regulate their emotions in the same way adults can.

Forever POV - His entire pov of the situation is very interesting to me. I see a lot of people criticising the way he handled this and to a certain extent I do agree. However, I think something that is being overlooked is that Forever perhaps wanting to make sure Tallulah was okay is because that is not his child. He only got permission literally yesterday to look after her after being previously denied. With Richas he can sit with him for HOURS afterwards if needed to try and talk through things. He has to drop Tallulah home in like an hour. It's very obvious to everyone on the island how close she is with Phil, she will tell him everything that happened during her time with the other parents. It makes sense, to me, for Forever to want to try and smooth the situation out as fast as he can and make everything okay. Do I think that makes the way he acted completely fine. No. but I don't think it makes zero sense for him to have acted that way. Also, him being Richas' pai means he's seen Richas have tantrums and be dramatic and bratty, he's never ever seen Tallulah do that so yeah he's going to panic and be like "oh shit I need to calm her down/make sure she's okay because this is unusual". I really do wish he had taken Richas' feelings and concerns more more seriously and hadn't just left him for a bit hopefully in the future he makes sure that he does that. It's a learning curve and he's learning to parent as he goes! He crash landed on an island and then got a child dropped into his lap to take care of so he's kinda just learning on the job.

BBH POV - I don't really have much to say here, I think bad handled the situation well given what he canonically knows about the Romero Richas situation (which is basically nothing) He encouraged Tallulah to talk things through with Richas and kept explaining how important their bond is and idk I just think BBH did a really good job.

Overall, I LOVE that the eggs are getting storylines with each other and are learning and growing. I'm so glad that Richas and Tallulah made up, they both need a warm hug and some hot chocolate or something after that whole ordeal. Little kids feeling big emotions for the first time is tough! but they did great <3

(I apologise if I missed anything important that happened between Richas and Forever when they were alone, I don't speak Portuguese but I tried my best based on the bits and pieces that the wonderful Portuguese speakers on here have translated!)

Anyway that's my long ass essay done! <3

#qsmp #qsmp rambling #qsmp richarlyson #qsmp tallulah #qsmp forever #qsmp bbh

[ourfag]

i think part of the resistance i’ve seen in response to the view of ed as an abuse victim—not just the view of izzy as someone who abused ed, but of ed as someone who was abused by him, as opposed to interpretations that pursue an image of Nuance and Complexity (unnecessarily, because their dynamic has heaps of both, but there seems to be a popular impulse to conflate complexity with shared culpability) by characterizing their relationship as being toxic/unhealthy in equal reciprocity, or as “mutually abusive” (oxymoron)—i definitely see the influence of racism there, but i think the racism is also working to amplify an adjacent issue where we tend to receive very specific cultural messaging about What An Abuse Victim Looks Like, and ed is excluded from a lot of that criteria.

he’s outspoken. he’s boisterous. he’s Very Cool and he Wears Leather. he’s physically bigger and browner than the person mistreating him. he spends the first season with a big grey beard, he’s covered in tattoos, he projects the image of A Man’s Man, to say nothing of his being a man in the first place. we see him get aggressive and we see him get angry (and sometimes we even see both at the same time). we see moments where he’s surly, prickly, insensitive, arrogant. his survival techniques and trauma responses incur collateral damage to other people, and in the second season this extends into affecting people we actually sympathize with. he’s extremely private about expressing fear. without examination, his professional relationship to izzy seems to position him as the one with the power slanted in his favor.

most damningly, we see him react multiple times to izzy’s abuse with physical violence. this is behavior that gets referenced all the time in the construction of narratives condemning subjects of physical abuse, let alone emotional abuse. which is why writing that intends for its audience to interpret a character as being unambiguously A Victim Of Abuse will often, for simplicity’s sake, avoid showing the character regularly engaging in anything of the kind.

and again, all of these departures from the image of The Model Victim are compounded by his being a man of color.

without any of the shorthand designed to point a big flashing arrow at his mistreatment, all we have left to work with are the words and actions we see from ed and izzy onscreen. who instigates conflict, and how does the other respond? how are they able or allowed to respond? how do we see them speak about each other to outside parties? does one go out of their way to control or isolate the other? what consequences does either party stand to face in saying “no” to the other? in acting against the other’s wishes? in trying to leave the relationship? when either of them attempts these things, how do we see the other respond?

i realize and appreciate what people are driving at when they garnish their analysis with disclaimers that they’re not saying ed’s just a poor innocent abuse victim, they’re not saying he’s a perfect angel who’s never done anything wrong, and that’s true, but these are points already contained implicitly in statements like “this show’s protagonists act like human people” and “ed’s emotional struggles are portrayed in a realistic and believable way.” my assumption is that these disclaimers are anticipatory responses to worst-faith interpretations of any discussion that attributes any victim status to ed whatsoever, so i definitely sympathize with their inclusion, but a (very small) part of me still worries about them potentially reflecting or reinforcing a belief that there is any way for someone to behave towards their abuser that imparts a responsibility for them to make right whatever damage the abuser receives, or for that matter any degree of ambiguity over their status as an abuse victim in the first place.

part of what i find so gratifying about ed as a character is that i don’t feel like the show’s writing is pressuring me to consider that ambiguity at all. which was a really nice thing for me to discover!

and tbh—did using ed to deconstruct The Model Victim even factor into the writers’ agenda?? ive got no clue. im guessing no? ??maybe?? probably not?? but if you create a main character whose central premise is that he feels trapped in a performance of exaggerated masculinity that he’s desperate to escape, and then you set him up with a character premised on embodying a tangible obstacle against that escape, then i guess that’s the natural shape your story’s gonna be inclined to take

#man thats a lot of words when i couldve just said ‘im not an ed apologist bc he has nothing to apologize for’ and yalld get the message #had to get it off my chest though #abuse tw #sorry about the verbosity Im Aware. Its An Ongoing Issue #this is actually after i went through and edited to make it as concise as possible #the good news is ive finally managed to limit myself to a mere half dozen commas per sentence #the bad news is all these words are mush in my brain now and i can barely tell if theyre actually saying anything #are any of these paragraphs related to one another? i dont fuckin know #i do know i agreed with them when i wrote them though #am i procrastinating in the tags because im nervous about posting this? maybe. shut up #im gonna go do todays wordle

[olderthannetfic]

I wish more fanfic writers were empathetic to tops and doms. I think a lack of empathy there explains a lot of the fandom discourse around the idea that it’s racist to make characters with darker skin the top or seme or whatever.

Part of why it bothers people, I think, is that in fandom spaces—for a variety of reasons—people have somehow come to a consensus that it’s fine to have submissive and degradation oriented fantasies, but not fantasies about making someone submit or doing the degrading. SOME people don’t let themselves think about the interiority of those that could actually deliver them what they want, sexually. And I don’t even just mean actual sex! I can tell when a fic author actually gets off on topping or domming. Those people are kind of rare in fandom, but their fics really stand out if you know what you’re looking for. Side note—I think there’s a lot of untapped potential in whump writers, who could probably write really wonderful nasty smut, but who are ashamed of writing something sexual and worried about backlash (so they just stick to narrative torture for now).

If you instinctively think that writing a character as a top or dom means they’re incapable of having interiority or complexity because YOU can’t write a compelling top or dom character for shit, then you might also think that any writing of people of color as tops or doms is inherently bad or offensive writing. And this is sad for everyone, but it’s especially sad for the actual tops and doms of color in the real world who have to read people saying that they don’t exist, or that characters who feel like them are offensive and racist.

Ironically, the people who claim that writing a character of color as a top or dom automatically makes that character a racist or brutish stereotype are reenforcing that stereotype. I want to see more compellingly written top and dom characters who have actual wants and conflicts. Give me more woobie, extremely emotional doms. Give me self esteem issues, or the struggles of being mistreated by subs, or feeling reduced to what they can provide sexually but not seen as a good person outside of that, please.

tldr; I wish more people knew that it’s not an insult to write a character as a top or dom, and therefore that it’s not an insult to write a character of color as a top or dom.

--

[mirageofadesert]

So I watched most of Luo Yunxi's (allegedly) mediocre filmography ... here are some thoughts.

⭕️Ashes of Love (dropped it, will come back for it later) ❤️ ✔️Princess Silver ❤️❤️ ✔️ And the Winner is Love ❤️ ✔️ Love is Sweet ❤️❤️❤️ ✔️ Broker ❤️❤️ ✔️Lie to Love ❤️ ✔️Light Chaser Rescue ❤️(❤️) ✔️Till the end of the moon ❤️❤️❤️ ❌ Immortality 🤡🤡🤡

First off, the words (allegedly) mediocre and "TTEOTM" or "Love is Sweet" are not allowed in the same sentence. That's why I wont discuss them here. These dramas are talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique ... next question.

As for the rest... I have some thoughts and I'm willing to share them:

First of all, I enjoyed all of them and that came as a surprise. I had seen fans joke about his filmography with one smiling and one crying eye, voicing that they hope he would soon be a position to pick better scripts. However, on paper I think the scripts weren't bad per se, but the execution is a bit questionable.

The kind of roles he picks ...

... are actually really great. He seem to gravitate towards deeply conflicted and complex characters, that allow emotional and nuanced portrayals. Non of them are perfect, but they try. Sometimes, the script or directing doesn't allow the characters to be as convincing, as they could be. In other cases, the actors he share a scene with, are utterly unconvincing in their performances.

I appreciate that all his chosen dramas have actual plot besides the romantic story and I didn't have to sit through something as boring as a pure romance without any substance (looking at you, Hidden Love). I also would guess, that he chooses his show based on the roles he plays, because those are often considerably better than the script overall.

Trapped by lackluster writing ...

... is a serious problem, especially when it involves cringey lines as well as wattpad level backstories. I think "Lie to Love" had the weakest script, "Broker" had some really over the top and cringe backstories, while "Lightchaser Rescue"'s biggest problem lies with the directing and production. "Princess Silver" was great overall and I wish he played a bigger role. I'm still not sure what went wrong with "And the winner is love", but I guess it's a combination of everything. Kudos to the actors, that pull off these bad or cringe lines with the same level of dedication and passion... I'm sorry, that I had to skip them anyway.

Acting circles around other actors...

... it's not a regular thing, but it tend to happens with some of his FL. It's not even that they are bad actresses per se, but often written with so little character, that there isn't much anyone can bounce off of. Su Xieyi (Cheng Xiao in "Lie to Love") and Chong Xuezhi (Yukee Chen/Chen Yuqi in "And the Winner is Love") are particularly guilty of this. It's also not something that can be blamed on lacking chemistry between the lead actors, as those two did not convey any chemistry with anyone in their perspective shows. A lot of the female characters in cdramas are hard to watch - and it's the main reason I have not been able to watch Ashes of Love yet.

I recently read a reddit post, that pointed out that Luo Yunxi always has good chemistry with his FL, but that those don't necessary give back the same energy. This leads to his characters always seeming more in love with their romantic partners. Luo Yunxi sells every love story... I really wish he would be paired up with more emotive actresses portraying well written characters.

His strengths ...

... lies in costume dramas for sure. He just looks like he came right out of a painting. This is also where his dance background shines the most. His wire and fight scenes are always excellent. However, I do understand that those are strenuous to shoot, particularly in the summer. In addition he excels in portraying suffering and a storm of conflicting emotions. He is a great actor, with exceptional facial expression and good voice acting. As an audience, you can feel his commitment to all of his roles. This becomes even more obvious, once you find out how often he was injured on set and still pulled through. I wont forget that one leaked clip of him doing wire stunts with his wheel chair waiting on the side ...

What I want to see him play in the future....

... is a more comedic costume drama. "Love is Sweet" but with long hair and fight scenes! I also would love to see him as a villain (again), but I guess he has outgrown these roles - at least in dramas. I also need another show similar to TTEOTM, that is more mature than most dramas of this genre and doesn't focus on the romance. Lastly, a 3rd drama with Bai Lu would be great!

What I learned from this going forward ...

... is to give less popular shows a try. So far, some rather popular or loved dramas (Hidden Love, Ashes of Love, Immortal Samsara etc) failed to impress me. I also learned that I need at least one character to latch onto, while starting a show or I will not get into it. A lot of shows sadly lack these convincing and obsession-worthy characters.

#luo yunxi #cdrama #till the end of the moon #love is sweet #lie to love #broker #cdrama review #and the winner is love #princess silver #light chaser rescue

[yellowocaballero]

Styles of Storytelling Structure

OK love of God I'm so embarrassed that every post I make gets insane long. I tried to match this explanation up with the previous ask but it got so long, so this elaboration gets its own post. For reference, these tags are referencing this post. Read that one first if you want.

I hope I can find a way to explain this succinctly and non-judgmentally. I do mean it extremely nonjudgmentally. I write both kinds and they both have their own merits.

For me, there's two kinds of fanfic writing. I call 'em Fic Style and Novel Style. This isn't about tropes or content, but about how the author composes the story.

Novel style is the 'traditional' way of writing a story. It has a three act structure, rising action/climax/falling action, tight pacing, every scene does five plot/character/theme related things. It reads like a published short story or a book.

Fic style is often reliant on the source material to make complete sense, and its plot or characterization is usually scaffolded onto the main material. For many of these stories you use the pre-existing canon structure. The story isn't as structured or tightly written, scenes are more likely to be there for vibes, and there tends to be more worldbuilding and a slower pace in general. It's worth noting that fic style can often really resemble soap opera, comic books, long-running manga, Dr Who, etc. Anything serialized, meant to continue on for a long time with no definite end point.

(If you're a frequent flier, to give you some idea: New Wave and Good Luck Jake were novel style, Hope Etc and Listen 2 Ur Heart were fic style. Twilight on Owl Creek Bridge was novel/short story style, reel to reel was fic style.)

Neither is better or worse than the other. They can be both equally enjoyable. One of my favorite fics is 'a simple thing' by iridan and it's fic style. Case fics are more likely to be novel style [I suck at case fics]. Shortly, fic style is easier to write, more likely to be enjoyable, and harder to make very good. Novel style is really hard to write. Super hard.

This is because novel-style writing just requires more skills. You need to lock down story structure, plotting, tension, connecting physical/emotional/plot/theme, pairing story beats with character beats, and dealing with a lot of different plot threads at once. I think of it as braiding, kind of: weaving three character arcs, a plot arc, growth of character relationships, and development of the themes and messaging. A scene should ideally do all of these things at once. Everything needs to be perfectly matched together so it all moves as one. The longer the story is, the more content of all of this you have to deal with, and the more difficult it is to do well. You're just juggling more balls. I had to write one bad 100k story and another mediocre 100k story before I got to a kinda-good 100k story. Forget about how long it took me to get to a decent freaking 60k story. I wrote really enjoyable 60k fic style stories before an actually good 60k novel style story.

This is why skills have to scaffold. I think a lot of beginner writers are constantly trying to fight those level 60 boss fights at level 20 and they get frustrated when they lose. You have to figure out how to write decent dialogue and decent prose before putting together a good scene. Then you have to figure out how to string a series of scenes together in a way that makes sense. Then you have to figure out how to put those scenes in the right order to make some kind of coherent and interesting story with conflict and character arcs. Then you start tossing one ball in the air and figure out how to write those 20k short stories. Then you add more and more balls as your stories get longer and more complex. You have to develop a lot of different skills individually to put together a well-structured final product that's fun to read.

Stop getting so frustrated when you can't beat out a 60k story that's Barnes & Nobles worthy when you're a beginning writer! Stop dreaming big! I know how frustrating it is not being able to put what's in your head down on paper. It's not going to be perfect. Of course you're having issues writing longer things, you're still figuring out how to put longer things together.

Pick something to work on. Figure out what skills you still need to develop. Figure out how stories work and what makes a good story, and then try and build it yourself. You do not need to write a traditional novel style story to develop your skills in dialogue, prose, characterization, tone, tension, POV, etc. You can get that stuff down first. If you're interested in working on story structure and pacing you'll have to practice doing things traditionally. No, you're not going to be happy with it. Be proud of yourself that you improved and developed a skill. Be proud of yourself that you're writing. Writing is hard. It's fun, but hard. If you aren't having fun then you're just left with the hard.

Writing isn't about the finished product. It's not about if you wrote something that people enjoyed or said was good. It's about enjoying writing. Everything else happens naturally from there.

#i am kind of speaking assuming that you're really invested in skill development and not just vibing and fucking around #the ppl fucking around are more valid than i am tbh #they're the geniuses here. #writing #writing advice #I guess. #i think it's hard to understand that skills need to scaffold if you haven't sat down and parsed out how stories work #so maybe that's step 0?

[what-would-have-happened]

MHA FIC REC LIST

Because apparently this is a thing that people do; so, I’m going to list the best fics I’ve ever read as well as why, exactly, you should read them. It’s a very varied collection, but you’ll find a lot of dimension/time travel, as well as Todoroki-family centric fics here.

Dragonborne — Ojiro/Shinsou. Set in an AU where Ojiro’s quirk isn’t just Tail, but something insane and awesome, actually. This fic has incredible writing and a very compelling plot that gets PERFECT around the middle of the story; if you are someone who likes either Ojiro or Shinsou for no good reason, this is the fic focusing on them that you’ve been looking for. 125k, complete.

Mild-Mannered School Teacher/Adrenaline-Junkie Vigilante — Fuyumi/Miruko. Fuyumi becomes a vigilante and runs around vigilanting with Dabi, without realizing who he is; she gets a girlfriend along the way. Check this one out for a peak f/f ship and lots of Todoroki drama; funny and emotional at the same time. 136k, complete.

Back To Me — no ship. A story about Kurogiri finding Shirakumo, or maybe about Shirakumo finding Kurogiri. Either way, it’s a rollercoaster; mental conflict abounds as the man of mist tries to figure out who he is, and villain-hero conflicts aren’t exactly making doing so easy. 214k, in progress.

Quirked — Erasermic. Izuku travels to a parallel dimension where no quirks exist, and manages to bring a quirk along with him. Despite not having had one before. What else to do than to become a hero? This is the vigilante Izuku story to surpass ALL vigilante Izuku stories, full of fresh and interesting ideas as well as a carefully evolving plot. 133k, in progress.

Cracked Glass — no ship. Essentially a Promised Neverland AU, but it takes place in a dimension parallel to canon; when said dimension collides with canon, it begins the first chapter of a brilliant disaster. Ojiro stans, this is another fic just for you. If you’re not an Ojiro stan, read this anyway and become one. 192k, marked incomplete, but it more or less is finished.

Dermabrasion — Dabihawks. This is a world where Shouto goes looking for Touya, and wouldn’t you believe it, he finds him! Naruto is vaguely involved. No, that wasn’t a typo of Natsuo. SO MANY GOOD TODOFAM FEELS. God, this fic is excellent; really explores the dynamics of everyone in the family in wonderful detail. Yes, everyone. All the Todorokis get screentime here. 410k, complete.

make this feel like home — Tododeku. A story about the three younger Todoroki siblings trying to get along over the holidays; eventually, they drag the oldest brother in too. Short but sweet, funny, and hits you right in the heart. 26k, complete.

Cair Parallel — Shinsou/Kaminari. If you don’t ship them (as I do not) you can simply ignore that part; and it is beyond worth it, for this fic’s magnificent story. It’s gotta be one of the most creative things I’ve ever read. Modern no-quirks AU, but the gang plays dungeons and dragons; so many varied character arcs, all developing with an equal amount of focus, and so much humor alongside the complex relationships. If you’re of the opinion that Iida needs more fics where he’s a main character, well, I am too, so come check this out. 590k, complete.

Artificial Parenthood, Affectionate Brotherhood — no ship. If you read only a single fic on this rec list, read this one. It’s metaphorically every single chaotic Dabi-gets-deaged fic you’ve ever read, but combined into a vaguely coherent narrative that’s glued together by innovative word usage, that good old Todoroki angst, and Bakugou. There’s also time travel. There are so many thoughts in this story, and they’re all condensed tighter than a steel rope. I can read this again and again and again, and I still don’t know if I’ve found everything this has managed to express. Probably not. If I had to say the story was focused on anything, I’d say Dabi, Bakugou, and the escalating terror of existence. 208k, in progress. (the other fics in the series are worth a look, too.)

The World Ended Before It Could Begin (Time Doesn’t Heal All Wounds) — no ship. Shinsou time travels back from the Nomu apocalypse to save the world, and runs directly into a pre-Dabi Touya. Events proceed with a lot of confusion from there as Shinsou tries his best while trying not to rope his friends into danger as well (he does not succeed) and with no intention of gaining a family (he gets one anyway.) Lots of family feels and humor here; Touya goes undercover as Dabi at one point, which is hilarious. Also: duck feet. 72k, complete.

Lost In The Darkness — no ship. Shigaraki kidnaps Bakugou at Kamino, but instead of the events we all know, there’s an earthquake, and they both fall in a pit and die. Okay, they don’t die. They do become besties, though; a hero-villain team up that’s determined to change the world and recruit each other to their respective sides, Bakugou and Shigaraki are like a pinball machine that wrecks everything else around themselves for the better. The League attempts redemption, Midoriya and Kirishima try their best, and the Todoroki brothers get dragged into the situation one after the other. If one thing’s clear, it’s that no one’s life will ever be the same again. 394k, one chapter left.

Ignite to the Call — no ship. The dimension travel is premium here, my friends. A group of UA students wake up in a world that’s both similar and different to their own; where reality could have gone, if one thing had changed. What is that one thing? Surprise, no one knows! Featuring Izuku as Shigaraki’s little brother, Dabi as a guy who wants to know why Shouto froze him in an iceblock, a collection of teenage runaways and dangerous animals, one or quite possibly two ghosts, A Great Escape Plan, and copious amounts of kidnapping. 600k, in progress.

Bakugou Bewitched — no ship. I can think of no better way to describe this fic than the term Platonic Bakudeku; the friendship is strong in this one. In summary, Bakugou is inflicted with the curse of obedience from Ella Enchanted. (I’ve never watched Ella Enchanted.) It makes his life increasing flavors of difficult, and the relationship between him and Midoriya is the most twisted spiked thing, and also stronger than the hardest steel. These two are inseparable—to Bakugou’s great distress. If you want a fic that treats the Bakugou-Izuku relationship like the insane shard of intensity that it is without once touching the line of romantic, this is the one. There’s also lots of neat Bakugou family content, which I don’t see often. 155k, complete.

sunshine in the library — Shinsou/Izuku. A vampire AU with the most beautiful feels, this fic is coming for your heart, and dragging a new OTP along with it. The plot is best described as a bundle of awesomeness with Shindeku the main and magnificent focus. Featuring: Izuku as a guy way in over his head, Shinsou as the brooding vampire who needs some light in his life, and Iida and Uraraka as vampire hunters who are rather unhelpfully misguided. They’re trying their best. The plot that’s planned out for this fic is fifty two forms of brilliant, and I can’t wait to read it all. 46k, in progress.

Where your love has always been enough (for me) — Enji/Rei. Endeavor time travels after his death to twenty years in the past; to a time before he broke his family. He doesn’t break it this time. Endeavor redemption arc, and a Todoroki family where only the father holds the weight of what he had once done. Where sometimes there’s a second chance. I dunno, but maybe the Todorokis need a little less angst inflicted on them, every now and then, and positive emotions, instead. You’ll definitely feel positive emotions reading this. 160k, in progress.

This Is Why We Have The Rules — no ship. Kirishima makes an entire chapter worth of accidental innuendos, Iida almost becomes the overlord of UA out of sheer exasperation plus a lack of sleep, and Ojiro is the only normal student in class 1A. That’s it, that’s the fic, and it’s one of the funniest things I have read in my entire life. 8k, in progress.

Soulmates and Wormholes — Kiribaku, Tododeku. It’s a modern AU featuring the well-loved soulmates trope; but with a twist, and that twist is parallel universes. This fic is consistently hilarious throughout and tells a compelling story that only gets more and more interesting every chapter, and I cannot wait to see where it’s going. It’s excellent. 76k, in progress.

And that’s all for now! Thank you for reading!

#mha fanfiction #mha #bnha #fanfic #todoroki #todoroki family #todoroki shouto #shinsou hitoshi #ojiro mashirao #kurogiri #dabi #touya todoroki #bakugou katsuki #deku x shinso #shindeku #midoriya izuku #fic rec #rec list

[prince-of-elsinore]

might follow this up with more thoughtful meta and less of a vent but I gotta get this out: I finally got around to watching the second half of season 9 for the first time since 2019 and boy do I want answers. namely how did half of fandom (it feels like) get convinced that the season is a rape narrative and that sam's anger and response to the experience have anything to do with the trauma of possession and lacking bodily autonomy. I'll be honest, I was expecting to see where that reading comes from on this rewatch, and instead I realized how objectively inaccurate and misleading an analysis it is. and no, it's not 'open to interpretation'--it's very clear what the conflict is, why Sam reacts the way he does, and what the story arc is; it has everything to do Dean lying to Sam, treating him not like an equal partner but like the little brother that needs to be protected--and here's the crucial part--at the expense of others, and especially at the expense of Kevin's life, and what that means about their priorities and values as hunters. it's got nothing to do with the horrors of possession. it's got everything to do with Sam and Dean's ethical role in the world, their net effect for good or ill. and it's also tied up in Sam's martyr complex. it's a perfectly natural extension of his arc in every season up till now, his struggle with his personal innate nature, and his desire to be and do good.

The cool thing is that when you view season 9 as it's meant to be viewed, you see how perfect a response season 10 is, with its mirror narrative. the idea that season 9 and gadreel are an unhealed trauma hanging over sam and dean is totally false. in 8-10 each brother struggles with his own self-worth, feels they'd be better off dead--and there's situations where the world may be better off with them dead!--and the other brother goes to unethical lengths to save him, because they realize, and ultimately both accept, that they can't lose the other, not under those circumstances. lines like "don't go thinking that's the problem because it's not" and "I lied," that frustrated me before with their opacity, make perfect sense now that my view is no longer clouded by fan-invented discourse. they're linchpins in a cohesive, balanced, multi-season emotional story arc that bring sam and dean to a place of equal footing.

The sort of ironic part is that, I realize now, I never fully understood Sam's perspective in the conflict before. season 9 was stressful for me in the past, because, being a fan first and foremost of the brother bond, I could only really see Dean's perspective and interpret Sam's anger as a rejection of the bond. but I felt that I ought to be able to see Sam's side; I didn't want to just be angry at the character or his writing. so when I came to tumblr in the finale-induced craze of 2020 and read so much meta predicated on the idea of Sam carrying this deep wound over the bodily violation of Gadreel, I more or less thought 'oh I guess that's what I was missing, all these fans who call themselves sam stans repeat it unquestioningly so there must be truth to it, they ought to understand their own favorite character.' How silly of me, to ever trust internet fandom on anything (or stans on the character they stan). I should've returned to the source material ages ago, would've saved me a lot of headache. because I do understand Sam's behavior perfectly now. it doesn't anger me, because I get and sympathize with his values, just as I do with Dean's. turns out when you actually watch the show and don't try to force it to conform to your fan-made narrative, it actually makes sense.

#happy to civilly discuss any of this #but please do not reblog if you're just going to argue or call me a rape apologist #hopefully I've got the folks who would blocked or they've got me blocked tho lol #spn meta #spn season 9 #season 9 meta #spn wank #my meta #spn

[cherryrainn]

I really like the way you write, I don’t know why I can’t like and follow you, I hope I will fix it ssoon.

For the first time I read about a yandere shredder, I thought that NOBODY likes him 😳

𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵

Yandere shredder x brother / sister reader, had a very unpleasant dream

Tmnt 2016

hello!! these shredder asks always get me excited hehe. also, thank you! and thats nonsense, i love shredder sm!

☽ ༚  ༵ ۰ ✧ ۰  ༵ ༚ ༵ ۰ ✧ ۰ 

— nightmares embrace

yandere! shredder x sibling reader (platonic)

the moonlight filtered through the curtains as you tossed and turned in your sleep. in the depths of your subconscious, a sinister force weaved a tapestry of darkness, pulling you deeper into its clutches.

the dream began with a haze of shadows, twisting and contorting like ink spilled in water. gradually, the form of shredder materialized before you, his piercing eyes fixated on you with a dangerous mixture of longing and possessiveness. the atmosphere grew suffocating, the air heavy with a foreboding presence that seeped into your bones.

shredder's voice, laced with a dark obsession, reverberated through the dream. "you are mine, my dear sibling. no one else can understand you like i do, no one else can protect you like i can."

as his words hung in the air, tendrils of darkness enveloped you, ensnaring your limbs and stifling your cries for help. you felt trapped, suffocated by the weight of his possessive love. panic surged through your veins as you desperately fought against the nightmarish hold.

in the depths of your despair, a flicker of light emerged. it was the memory of your bond, the unbreakable connection you shared with shredder. drawing upon your strength, you summoned the courage to resist the suffocating darkness. with a surge of determination, you shattered the chains that bound you, breaking free from shredder's nightmarish grasp.

suddenly, a jolt of terror shot through you, waking you from the nightmare. you found yourself in your room, drenched in sweat, the remnants of the dream clinging to your consciousness. fear clawed at your chest, and your eyes darted around the room, searching for any sign of danger.

as you sat in the darkness, shivering, you became acutely aware of a presence in the room. dread settled in the pit of your stomach as you turned towards the figure standing before you—it was shredder. the very sight of him intensified your fear, and you trembled, unable to tear your gaze away.

shredder's expression softened as he took a step closer, his voice carrying a hint of vulnerability beneath its usual darkness. "i... i know you are afraid of me, and i understand why. the nightmare you just experienced, it's my fault. i never wanted to cause you pain or fear."

his words caught you off guard, conflicting emotions swirling within you. fear warred with confusion as you tried to comprehend his unexpected admission. it was the first time you had seen this side of him, this admission of regret and understanding.

with cautious hesitation, you found your voice, the tremor apparent. "why... why did you appear in my nightmare? why... why do you haunt my dreams?"

shredder's gaze dropped. "i know my actions have been driven by possessiveness, by a twisted sense of love. but i never wanted to cause you harm. you are my sibling, and it pains me to see you frightened because of me."

as his words sank in, you began to glimpse the complexities of his character. beneath the layers of darkness and obsession, there was a shard of remorse and genuine concern. your fear began to waver, replaced by a glimmer of understanding.

"i'm... scared," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

shredder nodded, his eyes reflecting genuine remorse.

with a gentleness you didn't expect, shredder reached out, his hand hovering in the space between you. as usual, he didn't ask you if you wanted a hug. at the end of the day, everything he wanted to do he still did.

you hesitated for a moment, then cautiously extended your trembling hand towards his. as his warm fingers intertwined with yours, a surprising sense of safety washed over you. the fear lingered, but in that moment, you saw a glimmer of hope that perhaps shredder could become the brother you needed.

embracing the vulnerability of the moment, you allowed yourself to lean into his touch. shredder's grip tightened, providing an anchor against the storm of fear and doubt.

#y/n #reader insert #x reader #angst #yandere shredder #shredder #shredder x sibling reader #sibling reader #platonic #yandere #nightmare #tmnt 2014 #tmnt bayverse #tmnt 2016 #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles

[mqfx]

unfortunately my most prominent jyl thoughts start with the soup. & im no expert on ancient chinese kitchens, but given that lotus root & pork soup is something that simmers for hours, i think that as much as the soup is an act of service & a tried and true "we dont have to talk about it" comfort tactic, its also... a great excuse to duck away from everything going on. the kitchen being the safe space, so to speak! and overall jyl seems more avoidant than confrontational? i havent read mdzs for the details in years can you tell but i think theres a good chance under the right circumstances she could have become jfm 2: shijie edition, in which she can read emotional cues fairly well and she doesn't want anyone to be unhappy, but how proactive she might be about resolving a situation is entirely based on how secure she feels. im not forgetting her valiant defence of wwx "i take insults against him seriously" moment! but theres a difference between an eroding stagnant unhappiness & a situation that is more clear cut. im just not confident about how she would raise jin ling in the whole (waves hand) jin situation if she had not been collateral damage. is this making sense 😭

this is all true but let me make clear that my problem with how the fandom conceptualizes jiang yanli is NOT the soup. I'm not mad about the soup and in fact since it's one of basically three things that we even know about her at all, it stands to reason that when we think about her we're Gonna Have To Mention the Soup.

and one can (if one cares enough about her, which I'm sure you do anon) draw reasonable conclusions about her character based on this thing that she does. after all, everything is (supposed to be) important in a given text. I don't disagree with anything you said. she is a careful, conflict-avoidant person due to her tumultuous childhood with abusive/neglectful parents; despite this, she possesses strong morals and protective instincts. I don't think she would've been bad at raising jin ling because unlike her parents, she and her husband actually loved each other and communicate instead of willfully misunderstanding each other then bottling it all up (if she had married someone she didn't love, then yeah she might've been jfm 2. either way we'll never know because guess fucking what mxtx did)

my ISSUE, which fandom can barely acknowledge let alone address, is that "soup" has become a convenient shorthand to refer to her, but it's not a quality. it's a thing that is associated with her, not her personality. this isn't fair! "avoidant" is a trait, "comforting" is a trait, "kind" is a trait, "average" is a trait, soup's not a fucking trait! and some of that is just the general fandom trend of flattening characters in fanon, but the fact that she's a woman and therefore not paid as much attention compared to the ~Complexities~ of the men doesn't help

and I get that sometimes it's not that serious, sometimes it's for Joaks, but why is it that even when joking people can come up with all sorts of qualities for the men but when it's her it's just that she cooks soup? and in more serious discussions, why is her sole purpose apparently to be emotional support or tragic motivation for her brothers? (because mxtx herself wrote her that way!)

why did mxtx not delve into her reactions or point of view (mdzs is the only one of her novels with switching pov, so she could have)? or even just written more scenes with her? (CQL notably gave the women more scenes. the book is abysmal on this regard.....and in others)

tl;dr mxtx did a shit job of developing her character and that of the other women, and fandom makes this problem worse by not giving a shit. the feedback loop continues. your ask and my answer combined are already more words and effort than mxtx spent on writing her

#hewwo #asks #anonymous #mdzs #jiang yanli #jyl #which is why someday im gonna write a book with mostly women so people have no choice but to think about them #but with a couple shippable twinks in the background so i can still grift money from fujos

[theerurishipper]

My theory is that the writers realized at some point deep into the process that they’d given the female protagonist the primary interpersonal conflict of stressing over confessing to a boy along with anxiety and insecurities they never explored deeply, reducing her to comic relief a lot of the time.

Meanwhile they’d given the male deuteragonist the deeper, more serious interpersonal conflict with the main villain with complex emotional responses that used to be blatantly and purposefully linked to his trauma in the first seasons (like in Glaciator or the Christmas Special). It was taken seriously.

So when they realized, they said “oops we did a sexism in our girl centered show and gave all the interesting setup to the boy! We can’t have that.” And scrambled to “fix it” over the last couple of seasons or so by leaning deeper into Marinette’s guardianship and the resulting trauma, her trauma in season 5 and pushing Adrien further and further into the backdrop.

They did a 180 which SURPRISE! Also doesn’t work! The fans are going to want the pay off for all this interesting setup you did with that boy in the first seasons. Why didn’t they flesh out her character WHILE allowing him to complete the interesting arc they gave him? But there can only be one apparently. And yet they somehow managed to still give the atrocious male villain who some of the writers have referred to as being a good dad a respectable end while not allowing him to actually suffer for his crimes and shoving all of that responsibility and blame onto the girl instead.

They just don’t know how to helm a girl centered narrative. If it’s too sexist, they think that means veering off in the other direction and making the dynamic stereotypically female and male but in her favor. While still managing to be traditionally sexist. Even the female villains are over the top evil while the men and boys are downplayed as being controlled and taken advantage of or otherwise redeemable. Sometimes I just wish this show had been in better hands to begin with

You are just spot on, anon.

One thing I will say is that I don't think any of this was malicious or intentional. I do believe they were trying to write a feminist narrative that would empower young girls. What I think they didn't understand is that feminism isn't just about women being girlbosses. In their effort to have Marinette be a girlboss, they just gave her the traits that have been traditionally considered "masculine" in media and reduced their female coded character to a damsel in distress. Not to mention the overt sexism in perpetuating the "crazy and controlling woman" stereotype in Chloe, Audrey and Lila, while the men get to have sympathetic motivations and unearned redemptions, and even get to win in the end.

But I don't have anything else to add to your amazing analysis. Thank you for your ask!

#MLB #Miraculous Ladybug #Adrien Agreste #Marinette Dupain Cheng #Chat Noir #Ladybug #ML Salt #ML Writing Salt #ML Writers Salt #Meta #My meta #Asks

[luna-rainbow]

What draws you to a character? Is it moral conflict or cardboard good people ??

Oooh thanks for the interesting question but why do I get the vague sense this is bait 😅

Very few people with an ounce of writing experience or critical analysis skills likes “cardboard people” regardless of whether they’re good, bad, or anything in between. A cardboard person has not been written into a character. They’re just a collection of traits to serve a certain role in a story. Depending on the genre and their importance, that is not necessarily a writing flaw. When you have a 100 minute movie you cannot possibly develop every character. However, if your main character is a cardboard person that means the writer hasn't done their job and by gods other writers pick up on that. Nat, for example, was not a character in IM2, she was a cardboard femme fatale, because she had no inner world and no inner conflict to speak of.

On the converse, a well-written character will always have conflict , regardless of whether they’re good, bad, or anything in between! And a good conflict, one that has complexity - both ethical and emotional - will reveal layers about a character's value systems and psyche and make them a whole person, and that's what I like.

As I've always said, the first character I liked in the MCU was Tony, because here is a guy who was introduced to us self-centered and has it all, then you realise how little he has in term of human relationships (partly due to his own doing), and in the end he lets go of some of his material possessions and earns human connections. The second character I loved was Loki, because he's not a bad guy by nature, and he's perpetually torn between genuine love for his adoptive family, and anger at the lies they built around him and the identity they took away from him. The third character I loved was T'Challa, who through a fairly small role in Civil War was able to go through an entire conflict around grief, loss, compassion and forgiveness.

I came to like Steve and Bucky after I've gotten some context about 1930s America that the movies didn't give us. Steve's entire existence is a conflict with the world. He starts off the direct opposite of the eugenics ideal (I want to say 'save for the colour of his skin' but eugenicists scoffed at the Irish, so his colour didn't give him an advantage there) then through the serum became the Aryan ideal. He himself continually questions and disobeys the system that has tried to make him into an avatar for their agendas. He yearns of moving forward but the only way he seems to do that is after he finds the piece of his past that he had let slip through his fingers in the alps. And Bucky has a similar arc, how does he marry the identity that was forced upon him to who he once was and who he now wants to be? He is also trying to move forward, but can only do that by reconnecting with the past that was forcefully taken from him. Speaking without the shipping angle, Bucky is Steve's narrative mirror, and very similar conflicts drive their stories (which is why Endgame did the equivalent of narrative suicide by making Steve just...abandon all his conflicts and leaving Bucky to continue on with the same conflicts without his mirror) and there's something delicious in exploring that.

Conflict doesn't have to be just the character choosing between right and wrong, although that is a common conflict. You can have a pure good character forced to be in conflict with people around them and that can still be an interesting conflict (when well-written), and it doesn't mean that the character is "cardboard good".

If this ask is about Peggy -- I might enjoy her character if the story had the self-awareness to recognise the moral conflicts in her character. But it doesn't. It writes her as a series of contradictions and presents her as the perfect model of goodness. She fails at even being a cardboard character.

#writing #anti endgame #bucky barnes #steve rogers #anti peggy carter #asks

[mintacle]

So, I'm not the only one who would like to see more canon content with Talia and Jason working together.

They have all the building blocks you need for an interesting team-up. Starting with the fact that they are both already relevant to each other and have in common that they are bound emotionally to Bruce and can likely understand each other's complex and conflicted emotions about the man better than most, what really draws me to wanting to see them kick ass together, is that both of them are morally gray and not easy to sort into the hero-to-villain spectrum. But they will never be allowed to team up and here's why: the power of numbers is a priviledge DC doesn’t want them to have.

The only people consistently allowed to team up in DC canon are the best and most heroic Goodies. The justice league, the Titans, all the hero "families", and these families kick out a member once they slip from that high moral pedestal. While we do get occasional villain team-ups, these are always doomed to fail, because of the destructive selfishness of the villains. Morally ambiguous characters are kept as lone wolves, because really, political power lies in mobilization. Jason teams up in Task Force Z with Harvey Dent (which is awesome btw, go ahead and read it.), and they are compelling together. The strength of working together lies not so much in the physical or military advantage (though there is that too) but it is most effective in that it gives the other's claims legitimacy. Having someone who understands and agrees in the background, grants the other persuasive influence. Of course this also means that Jason and Dent had to go their seperate ways by the end. Within their own series it is ok for them to briefly have support and legitimacy, but once that run ended, they both had to be put back into their roles as ostracized and isolated threats.

Talia and Jason would be a great team-up. And frankly I would love to see them together. And the fact that they would be so compatible is exactly why we will never see it happen. In real life, minority mobilization is obstructed by emphasizing the differences in their specific interests and keeping strife alive between them. In comics, the anti-heros and/or villains will be stopped in their mobilization by portraying them as too invested in their differences to functionally work together.

So if you want to write fanfiction, draw art or make headcanons about the relationship between these two characters, you are probably right about what sould realistically happen with these two people! The fact that you won’t see it in canon has little to nothing to do with their actual compatibility and this is one example where in particular canon is manipulated to warp around the logic of the medium and is not the necessary measuring stick to assess what you can do with them in fanon (like how characters won’t ever age or usually don’t stay dead.)

#one dynamic I fucking WISH there was more if SO BAD #Like. Talia takes care of Jason for years and then it's just never mentioned again #utterly wasteful. ther is SO MUCH potential with these two!!! #jason todd #talia al ghul #rambling #meta

[suprsingr]

Okay! I came up with a theory for what's going to happen in Nevermore and I want to get it down on paper ahead of time so that I can see if I'm right. Because if I am, I will feel so smart, and if I'm wrong, I can feel that much more satisfied with the superior intellect and planning of the authors.

So, as a quick theory on Annabel's death, I'd like to cite these facts:

💀 Annabel's spectre's dirty bare feet and dress

💀 Annabel's dying emotions being loneliness, sadness and (potentially) doubt, with these feelings manifesting in a gaping void where her heart should be and a flood of tears

💀 Annabel's childhood friend who was determined to marry her, despite her disinterest in him

💀 Annabel's repeated sentiment of there being no point without Lenore and freaking out over the idea of losing her

💀 Her spectre being the Lady in White, a woman left at the altar

Now, I think Lenore was killed before her and Annabel's wedding and Annabel was left at the altar. She had no idea that Lenore was dead, only that she had been abandoned, and in response to this, she ran away. Lost her shoes, dirtied her feet, ruined the ends of her dress, and was left feeling loneliness, sadness, and doubt (didn't Lenore love her? why would she disgrace her like this? what was she going to do without her?).

It's here that she meets Lenore's killer, who is her childhood friend, and he tells her that he saved her from marrying a - gasp! - woman. Annabel's heart is shattered and she's shot with Lenore's gun. End of story.

That story, anyway.

Now, a few more facts:

💀 Annabel assumes, repeatedly, that Lenore is as calculated as she is

💀 Annabel vowed to marry the first man who could beat her in a game of chess

💀 Annabel is remembering her life backward from her death, while Lenore is remembering things from the beginning

So, Annabel has memories that inform her of her decision not to marry anyone who couldn't out-maneuver her. Maybe she had some cheeky conversations with Lenore about it, maybe her dad mentions it, who knows. But it was a major defining aspect of her life, so it makes sense that it would come up frequently. And since Lenore and her were going to be married (on top of the fact Lenore was posing as a man, successfully), she logically assumes that Lenore is a master strategist, cunning and manipulative, just like her.

Here is where the conflict pops up, as we all know at this point: Annabel is strategizing and Lenore is just... being Lenore, and they're getting to know each other again for the first time. Lenore sees Annabel as beautiful and kind, while Annabel sees Lenore as charismatic and ingenious. The complexity of their characters, while excellent writing, makes for some very confusing interactions between them. Because they are in love, they can feel that they have a bond, but they don't actually know each other yet.

So, of course, Lenore is disturbed by how cold Annabel is and will want to save her friends, and Annabel is going to keep playing games because it's all she knows how to do. In time, Annabel will be faced with the fact that Lenore is not any match for her in cunning, strategy, or calculation, and she will be equally disturbed by Lenore's recklessness and loyalty to strangers. This will be when they fight.

But! The way that I see this all ending!!!

Annabel will remember the chess match with Lenore. Lenore, who practiced playing chess for days, weeks, months, whatever, who disguised herself as a man for her, who chased her all the way to London, who wrote her a love song, will be sitting in front of her trying so hard to best her and failing spectacularly, and Annabel...

will throw the game.

Manipulative, cunning, duplicitous Annabel will tip her king over on purpose and let Lenore win, because she loves her.

And she will do the same thing in Nevermore.

That's my theory.

#nevermore #annabel lee #lenore #edgar allan poe #webtoons #my posts #...alternatively: lenore cheats #LMAO #this post brought to you by ''there is absolutely no gotdamn way lenore won a chess match with annabel'' #i don't care how epic the training montage #blast eye of the tiger as loud as you like i will not believe it #also this has been in my drafts for so long lol had to wait until the relevant chapters became free

[mental-about-you-too]

There are a lot of layers to The Kiss, but one is the connection to Crowley’s simplistic conception of what it means for humans to be In Love. He says, when scheming about getting Nina and Maggie together: “one fabulous kiss and we’re good” and “vavoom, sorted”. He’s imagining a romantic movie where a kiss is the be-all-end-all, the solution to all conflict, a magical mode of communication wherein two people automatically understand each other from now on, and a definitive signifier that Love has Happened.

This is how he imagines human love. I think he’s always considered his relationship with Aziraphale much more complex and precious than anything a couple of humans could do, what with their longevity disadvantage and limited understanding of the universe. I think he started falling for Aziraphale at “I gave it away!”, and never stopped; nor did he ever really try to resist that pull. I think he has recognized his feelings for Aziraphale for a long time, even if he hasn’t always acknowledged them outright—largely because he knew Aziraphale had some serious fear-based hang ups and would have been uncomfortable, and because their relationship has always been forbidden and dangerous to them both.

So then we come to that scene where Nina tells him “it certainly looks like that”. I don’t think the part of this interaction that rocks Crowley’s world is a sudden realization of his feelings—he knows he’s got feelings, to a degree that they sometimes get him into trouble—it’s the idea that those feelings could be translated into human terms. It’s that final remark: “other people’s love lives always seem so much more straightforward than our own”. He considers his situation so much more complicated than a human relationship, and in that moment he thinks…what if it isn’t. What if I’ve been rescuing him when he doesn’t strictly need it just for an excuse to be near him, indulging his pretenses of plausible deniability, getting all tangled up worrying about what heaven and hell will think, (and even now continuing to live in my damn car in the hope that he might invite me to move in in his own time), and it could all just be…vavoom, sorted? Could it be that simple?

Now fast-forward to That Scene. Aziraphale thinks he has just told Crowley: “I can restore you to the status you deserve, and now everyone will recognize the goodness I’ve always seen in you.” But Crowley’s just heard, “we can be together, as long as you change into someone else.”

I could write a whole essay on everything that might have been said to make this conversation go differently (and on all the character insight revealed by the way it does go--as many people have already done), but at this point Crowley is absolutely hemorrhaging emotion, and he tries, but he’s failing to reason with Aziraphale or explain why this hurts so much, and he invokes the example of Gabriel and Beelzebub, and it doesn’t work, and they’re talking at cross purposes, and Aziraphale still doesn’t get it, and things are spiraling out of control, and Crowley thinks, desperately: maybe the human way will work.

The timing is completely wrong. The approach is completely wrong. He kisses Aziraphale, and it’s not romantic at all; it’s full of anger and hurt and desperate, desperate hope that this might somehow fix everything, like "in a Richard Curtis film". And Crowley can feel it not working, can feel Aziraphale tense and confused, and they’re not falling into each other’s arms in sudden understanding, but he keeps his grip, holds on tight, trying to insist that this should fix it. He gambled on a human fantasy as a panacea, and he hangs on so long because he knows he’s losing the bet.

I first saw the kiss scene before watching S2 (after the season had been out for several days though; I didn't know about the leak) (I deliberately went looking for spoilers to make sure it was gay enough before I committed—I was a Sherlock fan; don’t @ me), and my initial reaction was: how could Crowley be so cruel. To squander something so precious as their first kiss, and use it to convey hurt rather than love. To know Aziraphale is struggling with a choice, and to try to use how they feel about each other against him. But after watching the show properly, I no longer think it was manipulative (though Aziraphale may have taken it that way)— just misguided. Just inept, and desperate, and so, so ill-advised.

#good omens #good omens season 2 #gos2 spoilers #i finally made a tumblr because this show is taking up so much space in my brain and I needed to indulge the obsession somehow #ineffable husbands #gos2e6 #character analysis #good omens meta