#and the new post editor gave me a headache

[vanwritesfan-fiction]

Defamation of Character

Request: Enemies to lovers. Yn is a sports journalist and she’s never wrote anything favorable about Jalen but they meet at an event and the sexual tension is…there Requested by the beautiful @harlowcomehome

Warnings: language, use of derogatory terms (bitch)

A/N: I think this is the first enemies to lovers fic I've written, and who better for than Jalen?

"Y/N My office, please! Now!"

You'd just put down your lukewarm, breakroom coffee when you heard the croaky voice of your editor, John, behind you. You took a quick sip, the taste of burnt coffee beans lingering on your tongue as you rolled your shoulders back. You knew this was coming, but you thought you'd at least have the week before John would lay down the hammer with you.

You dumped your bag and coat down on top of your desk, careful not to disturb the disheveled piles of ESPN magazine issues you collected over the year, pages turned to your first articles as a sports writer, and the various notes you had scribbled on cocktail napkins and notebook paper. Your journalism methods were unorthodox, but they worked for you, as long as no one touched the piles.

You slowly made your way down the aisles of desks towards John's office, trying to delay the admonishing you knew you were about to get for as long as possible. For every good thing you heard about ESPN, ESPN magazine was exactly the opposite. A lot fewer bright lights and cameras, a lot more skeezy journalism. You passed row after row of other journalists and junior editors, desperate to find their next story, heads down with terrible posture as they frantically searched the web.

With the introduction of smart phones and social media, not only were you competing against every major news network and publication for a juicy story, you also also running against the clock with Henry from Sarasota, Florida, who happened to snap a picture of a Buccaneers player at their local bar and posted it to their Instagram. You had to be cutthroat if you wanted to make publication, and while it had made you a few enemies in the professional sporting industry, it was a risk you were willing to take.

"I swear to God you're trying to send me to an early grave." John let out a huff as he tossed a pile of papers in your direction as you took as seat opposite him. "Jalen Hurts? You just had to go after the NFL's prince, huh?" He pinched the bridge of his nose, but it did nothing to stop the nagging headache at the base of his skull.

"Oh good, you read it. Find any typos?" You gave him a cocky smirk, messing with the Derek Jeter bobble head on his desk. You flicked your fingers against the helmet, making the spring bounce around. Booiinngg "I was afraid it came off a bit speculative, but based on your response, it was right on the nose." Booiinngg

"Would you stop that?!". He snatched the figurine from the desk, tossing it into the trashcan. "When I gave you the editorial slot, it was supposed to be a simple profile on Jalen, not a hit piece!"

"I talked about his upbringing." You shrugged, sitting back in your chair.

"Oh yes", he snapped the paper straight, looking over the top of his glasses. "Its amazing how someone with such a humble upbringing as Jalen can turn into one of the most overrated quarterbacks of the last 10 years with his only claims to fame being the "tush push" and an inability to close out games."

"You hired me to tell a good story, not to kiss ass, John."

"No, I hired you because I owed your father a favor." Your face dropped as John balled up the piece of paper, landing it on top of the bobble head.

Your father was one of the best sports journalists of the last century, and you had done everything to make a name for yourself in an industry that just wouldn't let you forget you were a nepo baby. "Now, you've proved to be a good journalist, but if you keep picking fights with the people who keep us in business, we're gonna have a problem. I don't know if you've noticed, but print is essentially dead in the water. Everyone wants to get their news in 60 characters or less and this art form is quickly dying." You could tell John needed a stiff drink, even if it was only 8 o'clock in the morning.

You sat forward in your chair, resting your elbows on your thighs. You weren't one to be pushed around by a man, even if they did sign your paychecks. "You can't actually be blaming me for the state of this company."

"No, but it does mean that things are going to change around here", John muttered, his voice overpowered by the sound of the Redbull he was cracking open. He poured it into a coffee cup; obviously regular caffeine wasn't going to cut it today. Your heart dropped into your stomach at his confession. You'd heard whispers about layoff around the watercooler, but that's what they were, just rumors, and no one likes to talk like a journalist.

John let out a sigh as he looked at your face, concern evident. "I'm not supposed to tell anyone this, but I'm hoping this lights a fire under you." You perked up a the thought of fire, but he shot you down immediately, wagging a finger in the air. "This doesn't mean I want you to go out there unhinged. We're letting half the team go next week, but I haven't decided which ones are gonna go."

You knew that your seat was hanging in the balance. It wasn't a secret that you weren't the most popular person in the office, and until now, you couldn't have cared less. You're weren't here to make friends, you were here to be the best writer you could me. You'd definitely rubbed some people the wrong way, but honestly, fuck 'em. Connections meant even less to you now that you knew you were going to have less competition for prime spots in the spread.

"Ok, what do I have to do to stay here? I'll rewrite my article, try to make a Hurts a little more likeable. It'll be hard work, but I'll do my best." You were half joking, half serious.

John took a swig from his cup, finishing off his drink with a cough as the medicinal taste hit his taste buds. "No, if you pull another stunt like that, you'll be the first to clean out your desk. I have another assignment for you."

****

You let out a hard sigh as you placed the "PRESS" lanyard around your neck and made your way through the crowded tunnel beneath Lincoln Financial Field. You weren't exaggerating when you said that sideline reporting was beneath you. It's grunt work to put it nicely, and with the added potential for injury if a 300 pound lineman comes careening into the crowd, it was the last assignment you wanted today.

"Welcome fans to Lincoln Financial Field where the Philadelphia Eagles will face off against the Minnesota Vikings", the announcer's voice was muffled through inches of concrete. You pushed past drones of photographers and security as the crowd's roar shook the ground beneath your feet. Finally, you caught the fresh air as you reached the field. Even in your salty mood, you could admit that there was nothing quite as electric as stepping onto a football field. The energy surging through your body was unlike anything you've experienced and it was one of the reasons you stayed in this industry so long.

You slung your camera off your neck and bent down to take a couple of photos of the players stretching on the field. Once you were satisfied with your photos, you took a second to look through them. You took a subconscious step back as you saw a couple of players jogging past you into the tunnel and ended up colliding with a hard body.

"Ow!", you grimaced, rubbing your elbow that collided with hardened plastic. You turned on your heels to see the object of your hit piece standing behind you, his signature blinding white smile on display. "Excuse me, Ms. Nosey", Jalen chuckled as he hung his helmet underneath his arm. If you didn't hate his guts, that southern drawl might have pulled you in.

"Hurts, you planning on choking in the fourth quarter, or is that just something you reserve for playoff games?" You were stunned by your own words, the vitriol firing out before your brain could catch up. You caught the flash of hurt on his face before his features softened, once again, giving you a sincere grin that you really didn't deserve. "You have a nice day now." He left you standing on the sidelines, a pang of guilt hitting you in the chest. You shook it off, raising your camera to snap a picture of him as he reached the middle of the field.

****

The game was uneventful, the Eagles wiping the floor with Minnesota and much to your chagrin, you really didn't have much to write an article about. You knew John was just trying to get you off of his back without actually getting rid of you, at least for now, but it hurt to know that your talent could easily be condensed into a couple of sentences some guy would read to catch up on the game while they were taking their midday bathroom break.

You jotted down a couple of notes in your notebook so you wouldn't forget them while the field cleared out. It was at this point that you'd usually head to the locker rooms for post-game comments, but instead you were just going to head home early and finish your write up before the nights end.

Your focus was on your phone as you walked through the tunnel toward the parking deck. You were texting your friend to see if she wanted to grab drink when you heard the sound of laughter roaring to the right of you. You stopped in your tracks to read the PLAYERS LOCKER ROOM placard.

What could it hurt to sneak in and get a couple of quotes from Jalen? You weren't above editing your article to John's liking, especially when you knew what hung in the balance. You flashed your press badge to the security guard posted at the door and hid in the back of the crowd of journalists and videographers.

Of course they were all huddled around Jalen as he sat at his locker, he had a stellar performance tonight, and still he was as humble as ever, deflecting compliments from the reporters.

"Ya know man, its a testament to my team, they've always got my back", Jalen confessed, his toned body stretching the tight white undershirt he had on. You felt your stomach jump as he shed the tank, his ab muscles flexing as he took in a deep breath.

"But you've gotta admit, Jalen, there's no one with the yardage you've got, and your completions put you in the top 10 quarterbacks of all time." You couldn't tell if it was a reporter speaking, or the president of the Jalen Hurts fan club. "I mean, you're just fantastic."

The chuckle you let out was louder than intended, a hush falling over the room as everyone turned to see who wasn't in agreement.

"There you are. My biggest fan!" Jalen laughed as he stood, the crowd parting as he made his way toward you. He towered over you, the mix of sweat and cologne flooding your senses. He had a way of making it feel like you two were the only two in the room, even though you knew all eyes were on you. "Liked what you saw out there?" The way he spoke, his cadence even and smooth, oozed confidence, and that pissed you off.

"Like I said earlier, you seem to reserve your biggest flops for when you're down to the wire. This was just a regular season game, I'm sure you'll rise to the occasion when the time comes." You could hear the snickers and uncomfortable shuffles around you; it wasn't often you got a front row seat to see a lowly journalist go toe to toe with an NFL great.

One thing you had to admit, was this guy was calm under pressure. Even as the crowd dispersed, his gaze was focused on you, sizing you up of sorts. "Did I do something to piss you off?" She stroked at his jawline, his chest rising and falling evenly with each breath.

"Is it really a surprise that not everyone is a fan of you?" You pulled out your phone to start recording your conversation. Jalen stopped you just as you were about to press the large red button on the screen. "I'm not interested in giving you a soundbite that you can manipulate for your next story. You scoffed, rolling your eyes. "Its not manipulation when you're telling the truth. Maybe its just not what you want to hear."

"Whatever you say", Jalen turned to walk back to his locker. You found yourself staring as he shed his football pants, his toned backside on display. You turned out of embarrassment, closing your eyes as you held your phone of your shoulder towards him. "Listen, if you have a problem with my article, you're welcome to dispute it with the organization. It wouldn't be the first time."

You couldn't see it, but you knew he tensed up at your jab. Jalen had a history of stifling stories that he didn't agree with. He sighed as he pulled his shirt over his head. "If you're talking about the Men's Health spread, I wasn't gonna let them slander my family."

"Whatever you say", you repeated in a mocking tone.

"You don't know nothin' about me, and still you hate me. Why is that?"

"I never said I hated you."

"What'd you call it then?"

"Healthy skepticism." Jalen let out a humorless breath. "You don't even know me."

"Oh I know you. You think that everything belongs to you. That you deserve everything. I know everything I need to know about you." You felt a push at your shoulder, forcing you to turn around and face him. "You're just like every other guy." You avoided eye contact. Even if you didn't care for Jalen Hurts, your vagina wouldn't let you deny he was fuckin' gorgeous.

You tried to remain stoic as he studied your face for a second. "You know what?", the smirk on his face had your head spinning. "I'm throwing a fundraiser this weekend, and I could use a plus one." You scoffed as you pressed stop on your phone. "Are you asking me out on a date?"

"You? Of course not." You felt the sting from his rejection. "But I think that I deserve a chance to show you that I'm not the guy you think I am." You had a hard time believing that a fundraiser full of rich oligarchs was going to change your mind about Jalen, but you had to admit you were interested. "And if I say yes? Purely for the journalism of it all?"

Jalen chuckled as he slung his bag over his shoulder. "Then you'll have a good meal and get to take a break from being such a bitch." You stumbled back as he walked past you, a look of shock on your face. "If you think I'd ever go to an event as your date, you're crazy!" You yelled after him, shoving your equipment into your bag with a huff.

"What an asshole."

****

The next morning you arrived to the office with a raging hangover, the result of two many espresso martinis as you vented to your friend about your interaction with Jalen. He completely rubbed you the wrong way, leaving a nasty feeling you just couldn't shake off. You struggled to get out a bed after staying up late and trying to finish your article on him in a drunken stupor. You didn't even want to think about the editing your work was going to need now.

You barely noticed the whispers and stares as you walked to your desk, nursing a double espresso you picked up on the way in. You felt your phone vibrate in your back pocket, and read the notification that your friend sent you with a link to a TikTok video with a frantic message to "LOOK AT THIS NOW!", but it'd have to wait, you had a briefing in 15 minutes.

You stopped in front of your cubicle at the sigh of the two dozen red roses that were taking most of the space on your desk.

You hadn't been on a date in months, and you weren't the type to garner a secret admirer, so you had no idea who these could have been from. Luckily, the small white card would answer any of your questions pretty quickly.

You unsheathed the card, which was scrawled with prefect calligraphy.

"Jalen Hurts and the KB Foundation invite you to the 2nd Annual Dinner and Gala in support of the foundation's effort to honor the children of Philadelphia. Drinks will start at 6pm followed by Dinner at 8pm. Dress Code is Black Tie."

You bit at your lip as you read the card over a few times. You thought that Jalen was just fucking with you when he extended the invite in person yesterday, and he couldn't seriously think you'd actually attend. You tossed the card and envelope on top of the never ending pile of papers and placed the flowers on a neighboring empty desk.

You were just opening your computer when you heard your name shot from across the office.

"Y/N! Get in my office NOW!" It had to be some sort of personal record, the number of times you'd been called into John's office in the last couple of weeks. You grabbed your notebook and cup of coffee and shuffled to his office with your tail between your legs.

He slammed the door behind you as soon as you stepped foot in the room. "You have some fuckin' explaining to do!"

You sat down, getting comfortable for another one of his lectures. "John, if this is about the flowers, I didn't know he was going to send them. I already got rid of them. I know you don't like joy-"

"Will you stop with the juvenile one-liners?! This isn't about some fuckin' flowers. It's about this." He turned his laptop in your direction. On the screen a video of you and Jalen standing in the middle of the Eagles locker room was playing over and over. You didn't need to hear the sound, you remembered exactly what was said. "I can explain." You swallowed repeatedly to get rid of the lump in your throat to no avail. "I know this doesn't look good."

"You're damn right it doesn't look good!" John huffed and ran a hand through his greasy brown mop. "It looks so bad, we've had our press rights revoked at Lincoln. Turns out they don't take too kindly to press fighting with the players."

"John, there's got to be some way to fix this. I can take an extra assignment, get on my knees and beg." You regretted ever stepping foot in the locker room now.

"You're right, there is a way to fix this." John sat down at his desk, adjusting himself in his seat and closing his laptop. "You're fired."

You thought you were going to pass out. This couldn't be happening. "John, please, I know I can make this right."

"Its too late for that, Y/N. Pack your stuff up and security will escort you to your car."

#jalen hurts #jalenhurts #jalen hurts fan fiction #jalen hurts fan fic #jalen hurts angst #nfl fan fic #nfl imagine #nfl fanfic #nfl fanfiction

[randomgooberness]

WHATS UP. SORRY THIS COMIC IS 15 IMAGES LONG LMAO I HAVEN'T USED THE NEW POST EDITOR YET SO THIS IS FORMATTED BADLY. Here's a scene from the hlvraifm au! It takes place not long after the scene where Mind was mean to Gordon about breaking his knee GFDHFDKSJ

THE BASIC CONTEXT HERE IS: Gordon shot at the skeleton that only He Can See, and Mind was already at his breaking point because his withdrawals were setting him off- so nausea with the sudden rage and screaming meant he got sick. He and Gordon have a talk! It doesn't go well(at first)!

If you want to see this conversation resolve itself, the rest is written by me and @shineyfish under the cut! Just read the warnings lol

WARNING: THE REST OF THIS SCENE CONTAINS SOMEONE TAKING DRUGS. IT IS CONTROLLED BUT STILL UNADVISED! It should be obvious but we do NOT condone it LMAO

"Just- just forget about it."

"No, I-! I-I want to know- I want to help-" Gordon said, scooting closer. "And- and you're sick, too- is that what you're mad at me for? That I- that I didn't notice? I-I don't know what even caused it you and I are the only ones who haven't drank the fucking...gross sewage water- but we can- man, I-I'm sure we can take another rest day if we need- or- or I could try to carry you? Dr. Coomer probably could, too-"

Mind was shaking, shuffling backward a little. His eyes were wide as he stared at Gordon, expression filled with fear.

"I'm, I'm good! Get the- back away, please. I need space."

If he wasn't paralyzed with fear he would run. He would run so far from this place, aliens be damned. He needed to get out of here alive. He needed to get out. 

When he said he wanted more answers about him, he didn't mean like this. This just gave him more questions, and made his teeth hurt. 

"I'm just in pain. A lot of fuckin' pain. I can keep going."

Gordon backed up, looking down guiltily. 

"Shit- sorry," he muttered. "...I... I-I dunno if you're...if you've got like, a fever- or how I'd check right now- but-" 

He paused and furrowed his brows. 

"...no...no your suit would treat you for that. Your suit would give you medicine if you got a virus or something- so you're..." 

He blinked, tilting his head the other way now, looking at Mind again. 

"...The fucks going on with you, man?"

Mind’s breath hitched. Shit.

"What are you, a fuckin' cop? Get off my ass about it, I don't need to tell you anything."

He wheezed again, raising his hand to his mouth. God, he felt horrible. Everything ached. He needed something. Pills, morphine, god he will take getting into a fight with someone just for the adrenaline at this point. 

"God I hate this."

Gordon stared at him, worry in his expression before his brows furrowed, and he huffed out his nose, pursing his lips. 

He looked away and opened his mouth to speak, failing a few times in a row, as if he were trying to say something more calm and nice, before looking right back at Mind, lips drawn back in a snarl. 

"You DO need to tell me!" He snapped. "So I can fucking HELP you! You just THREW UP and you expect me not to fucking do anything!?" 

He made an angry, and pained noise, turning his hands towards the ground so they could push him up onto his feet- which made him hiss in pain, but he stood, staring down at Mind with gritted teeth. 

"You're fucking hiding shit and it's setting us back! If you- if you can't trust me how the fuck am I supposed to trust you!?"

That made Mind shut the fuck up. Very suddenly he was Listening Intently, shoulders raised and curling in on himself.

He felt sick again. How his stupid body could even do that to him after already throwing up was a wonder and a curse.

His voice was very quiet when he answered.

"You wanna fuckin know so badly? Fine. I need Oxy, I haven't had pills in days and was banking on the stash I had here, but someone must have fuckin' snitched, cause I couldn't find shit in my locker. Everything hurts and aches, I feel sick and gross and I have had a killer fuckin headache since the stupid rescas even happened."

He growled at Gordon slightly, defensive.

"I wasn't gonna bring shit up because it doesn't matter. I've dealt with withdrawals before, I'm not useless. I know what I'm doing."

Gordon flinched, and blinked at him. 

"...Ohhh. Oh shit-" He said, looking to the ground. "...Ohhh fuck that's- not good! Okay- well, thanks for telling me-" He paused. "...Your suit has morphine, y'know."

Mind's expression withered.

"I am... I am very aware. I'm apparently not in enough pain for it to give me it."

God, he was not having a good time here.

"...Uh," Gordon played with his hands. "...I...look, I-I've never really- gotten the time to look at the blueprints for the HEV suit other than the uh. medical module- mostly so I could uh- know what the fuck it was doing- I...I can see if I can...trick yours into giving you a little? If it'll help?"

Mind yawned again, but his eyes went wide.

"I don't know if I fully trust you to do that."

He weighed his options though, and man he really needed something.

"... Sure."

"...Alright, cool, uh-" 

Gordon moved to scoot closer, before pausing. 

"...Do you still need space, or?"

Mind didn't answer, instead just moving closer to Gordon himself. Being in the same position was starting to kill his muscles.

Gordon sat there, still playing with his hands. 

"...Uh, y-you need to turn around."

He did so without complaint!... Towards Gordon. He was hissing practically the entire time about his joints.

Gordon let out a small, good-natured chuckle. 

"Thanks," he said, before tilting his head at the module. Four screws...

Ideally, he really, really would've liked a screwdriver right now. But he didn't have one. 

...He did have a combat knife he found off of a soldier, though-! 

Twirling it in his hand a few times, he looked at the screws, lined up the tip of it, and made a noise of triumph when it fit! He didn't fucking expect that! Oh my god- why did it-? Nevermind. Didn't matter, he got right to work unscrewing the cover.

"What is that noise for, what did you do-"

Mind was so incredibly uncomfortable with the position he was in. He did not like having potential enemies out of his line of sight, but he couldn't complain about shit or he wasn't getting that sweet sweet relief.

"Nothing- nothing I just- didn't expect the-" Oh, don't tell Mind you had a knife against his back. "Don't worry about it, we're making progress." 

He took off the cover, and if Mind could see him, his eyes would light up a little at the sight. He stuck his tongue out as he focused, trying to be quick for the guy but genuinely fascinated by the machinery. Black Mesa sucked, but the soldiering of the wires was amazing. 

After a few moments, he found a small screen, and an even smaller keypad- annoyingly small. He made a noise of frustration as he decided to use the tip of the knife instead of pressing them with his gloved, giant fingers. 

"Shit...The manual override is locked with a passcode," he muttered. "Uh...Hmm. Okay, gimme a sec, I'm going hackermode."

Mind snorted, trying to keep himself from shaking too much.

"What the fuck do you mean by that-"

"It means I'm trying to crack the damn passcode. Sorry, this might take a WHILE, it- wait what." 

He paused, before letting out a long, long sigh. 

"Was the passcode SERIOUSLY 1234?"

Mind Cackled.

"THERE IS NO WAY THAT IS THE PASSCODE. YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME."

He was in so much pain. And the number holding him back from pain relief was the easiest to guess thing in the world.

"That doesn't even surprise me! Knowing this place, it's probably the code to other things too."

"Let's- lets use that code for everything, now. Fuck it!" Gordon laughed, a grin on his face. 

There was a few rounds of beeping, before he let out a sigh. 

"...Okay, uh- th-the suit uh, has the automatic amount to um- it's automatically a decently high dosage for uh, your weight, I think? It should be the same amount I was given, but uh, I-I'm worried about...it messing with you too much. Are you sure you'll be alright? I can lower the dosage," 

The expression Mind made at the thought of lowering the dosage was something to behold. It took everything in him to be casual about this.

"I can handle it. I don't think this thing accounts for muscle and joint pain, and if it does the threshold is incredibly fuckin high."

"...Okay, man, but uh- let me know if you need me to- I-I dunno. Lemme know if we need to stop for the day cause you feel too fucked up, okay...?" He said. "...Are you ready?"

"Gordon. Please just give me it."

Mind sounded a little out of it.

Gordon stared at him for a moment. 

"...alright man." 

He pressed the confirm button, and watched Mind carefully, making sure he had no adverse reactions.

Mind let out a shaky breath, honest to god about to cry over this. Finally.

It took a minute for the morphine to kick in, but the second that he could feel it he visibly relaxed, pupils dilated. It wasn't as high as his normal dosage for shit like this, but it was close enough to get rid of the pain, and for that alone he was thankful. If he can get through a bit more of Black Mesa without feeling dizzy or sick, he'd be golden.

"Thank you."

Gordon felt himself swallow and looked at the ground. 

"...Right, yeah, of course-" He said. "...Sorry it took me so long to notice you were going through it, man." 

He started to put the cover back on, screwing everything back into place.

" 's fine, wasn't exactly jumping to tell you 'bout it."

Mind seemed... Chiller, honestly. A little disconcerting from his previous demeanor but that's drugs for you. 

He was tapping against the ground now, mostly just to do something with his hands.

"...I can get why. I-I'm a little worried, but I'm not going to judge you, or anything." 

He let out a sigh once the panel was back on, tight as he could get it, and he rubbed at his face. 

"...Are you still mad at me?"

Mind stretched a little, shoulders popping.

"Nnnope. It's just a clip anyway, we'll probably find like... A million more from the military around here."

"Wh- really?? Just like that??" Gordon blinked a few times, tilting his head. Mind turned to face him, a little confused.

"Yeah? Told you, man, 's just the clip I was pissed off about."

"...Okay, that's...alright." He let out a sigh, before struggling to get up again. He grimaced, still not liking walking on that knee. He took a moment to adjust, before stiffening, staring at something behind Mind, who looked over as well, seeing nothing.

After a few moments, Gordon shook his head and whispered something to himself, something about not questioning your own insanity. 

"Let's try to catch up!" He said, eyeing the pipes the others had walked on, and climbing on.

Mind stood up, shaking his hands out a bit as he did. 

He looked at the pipes with a grimace.

"Y' sure you can climb that with your fucked up leg? Don't think the HEV suit can protect you if you fall into the radiation pit."

“I’ll just take it slow,” Gordon huffed. ”Fuck it, right? We’re both drugged up enough, we can figure it out.”

#doodles #artists on tumblr #hlvrai #freeman's mind #hlvraifm #cw: eye strain #eye strain #cw: emetophobia #cw: vomit #cw: drugs #long post

[shamelesslymkp]

The Cask of -Amontillado- I mean, Destiel

for @newleasemylove!

(this was intended to have more but i'm using the beta post editor and it's giving me a headache, i need to switch back but i already added a bunch and don't want to delete everything i already put.)

(please check out my pinboard for moar.)

N.B. these recs are not in any way comprehensive or exclusionary of any of the other amazing destiel and spn fics in existence; this is quite specifically a list of fics meant to entice the 'i don't even go here' crowd, as tested on my dear friend @arrows-for-pens

Come here, dear reader. I have some lovely and completely non-life-destroying fics to recommend to you.

Let's start off a few universes over from canon.

bendingsignpost - Cinderwings - Supernatural [Archive of Our Own]☑ https://archiveofourown.org/works/12847041

Under the cover of a masquerade ball, Castiel has five nights to recover the key to his people's freedom. The world has changed greatly in the six centuries since their banishment into the void, but the task isn't impossible. Unfortunately for Castiel, this is going to involve talking to people - especially the Knight Prince who has taken an interest in Castiel and his "costume" wings.

bendingsignpost - [SERIES] talk - Supernatural [Archive of Our Own]☑ https://archiveofourown.org/series/1380490

As a grease monkey turned college freshman, Dean's constantly three seconds away from being stressed out of his mind. It hardly helps that he's finally figuring out his sexuality in his thirties. What might help with that stress is a little phone number (and a big credit card bill). If he can't figure out how to be bisexual in person, he can at least give it a go over the phone, right? (It's probably a bad idea, but he really can't help himself.)

And now let's start moving back.

bendingsignpost - Dean Winchester and the Goddamn Kill-Steal - Supernatural [Archive of Our Own]☑ https://archiveofourown.org/works/20837732

Another raid on a hub of demonic activity, another case of Dean finding every last one of the bastards already dead with their eyes burnt out. The new and unnerving trend is royally pissing him off, but at least he's always able to blow off some steam these days too. Hooking up with that traveling business guy was an awesome move.

Amiril - The Mixtape, Or: Six Things You Learn in Thursday School - Supernatural [Archive of Our Own]☑ https://archiveofourown.org/works/30585971

History passes into legend— but without the Winchester Gospels, that legend must be assembled from the notes of Prophets and Hunters. Human society and the English language may take a few wandering turns along the way, but one thing is a constant: people will always argue about Canon. Or: God got beat up and replaced by his grandson. You could make a religion out of that. (Words: 6,240)

sobsicles - according to all known laws of life - Supernatural [Archive of Our Own] https://archiveofourown.org/works/29207901

Cas comes back. It's not exactly the reunion that Dean is expecting. ~~~ Dean stares at him, flummoxed. Cas quite literally poured his heart out to Dean, gave a truly sappy and distressingly romantic speech and everything, then proceeded to give his life so that Dean could live his. And he wants to act like he doesn't want to see Dean, be around him, touch him? Actually, Dean's ninety-nine percent sure that Cas probably wants to fuck him, and while he has no clue how he feels about that, he's pretty goddamn sure that means Cas doesn't get to act like this and make it authentic. It feels strangely real, though, as if Cas wants nothing more than to get as far away from him as possible. This is a blatant contradiction. Even someone as weird as Cas doesn't want to get away from the person they have the desire to fuck five ways to Sunday, that they're in love with. That's not how these things work, so Dean isn't buying it.

adaille - Pray for What You Need☑ https://archiveofourown.org/works/14674776

Asmodeus imprisons and impersonates Castiel, forcing Dean to confront his feelings and figure out what he needs from the angel.It takes him a while.### Cas was angry, Dean knew that. He’d been angry ever since Dean fought with him over his re-involvement with Lucifer. The whole I’m-gonna-go-off-alone-and-search-for-the-fallen-archangel plan seemed ill-advised, and perhaps Dean could’ve toned his protest down, but the sentiment stood. In Dean’s defense, they just got him back. It wasn’t fair that the universe needed saving, again. Always again, and again, and again. Cas was dead not even a month ago, lost to the Empty, and Dean just wanted him to take it easy for a bit. Stay safe. Stay here. With him. With him and Sam, that is. Or you know, just him. Whichever. Either, or. (Words: 26,648)

[bagadew]

The Great Ace Attorney Playthrough: The Case of the Unbreakable Speckled Band (Part 2b)

Last Time: It turned out that my man Hosonaga hadn’t been kidding when he said he’d lay his life on the line for us, and was beaten up by the killer captain for letting us have a look around first class. As if that wasn’t enough, he then stood before us looking like the Knights of Ni, and gave us Kazuma’s autopsy report, revealing that Kazuma died of a broken neck. Now I (Ryunosuke) get ready to inveterate, and I (Eleanor) get ready to take the captain out!

OVER MY DEAD BODY YOU WILL!

So it shall be.

Susato’s pointing out that it might be a while before we’re all back in Japan, to which I say: It will happen, I can wait

Now on with the actual investigation.

Out in the corridor Biff Strogenov the 1 ton sailor has finally left his post, meaning that we’re free to look for cute animals investigate my beloved Kazuma’s death in cabin number 2!

Wait, that voice? Could it be? Has he returned to us?

Yeah boy!

Oh... he’s not in our immediate vicinity and we actually do have to go in cabin number 2, so I guess we’ll see him again later!

THE CASE OPEN!!! THE PET!!! GONE!!!

Ok game, I get it! I have to remember why we’re really here and not get immediately sidetracked by the faintest wiff of an animal.

Wait...... does she finally believe in us?

:D

WHOO LETS GO TEAM!!!

Right we’ve got a saucer on the floor, meaning that whatever Nikolina keeps as a pet eats off of it. This seems to make my snake theory less likely, but it does back up the idea that the ‘speckled band’ Kazuma saw could have been the tail of something like a tabby cat.

The books in the bookshelf have toppled over, just like they had in Kazuma’s cabin. I wonder if the ship made an emergency stop to let Nikolina onboard and that’s why they were all thrown to the left?

Again Susato, I’m pretty sure Strogenov realised Nikolina had a pet with her the second he helped her on the ship and saw her suitcase wiggling.

Everybody comes for Ryunosuke...

Hang about... the bolt pulls to the left, the same direction the books fell in!

If someone new Nikolina was coming on board (*cough*The Captain*cough*) they could have killed Kazuma and left the door unbolted, safe in the knowledge that when the ship stopped the bolt would slide into place!

(This is how I felt when Kazuma bought up Curare in the last trial.)

Ok, due to my being a bad influence on Susato, she gave the cabin bell pull a good tug, but fortunately it seems that none of them work (which is very odd).

Finaly both the teapot and bin are empty, which could mean anything or nothing at all, you never can tell with Ace Attorney.

Other than that, I think that’s it for the cabin. I was expecting to be interrupted or something, but I’m pretty sure I’ve looked at everything. Now let’s go into the corridor and see if there are any Himbo Detectives knocking about out there!

Hell yeah!

I agree Ryunosuke, the man’s a glorious Jack in the Box!

:D

Go an tap his back Ryousuke, I want to see if he jumps!

Come on everybody, clap along!

TAP HIM RYUNOSUKE!!!

HE FELL OVER!!!

(Editor’s Note: AND I MISSED  SCREENSHOTTING IT!)

So tell me Susato, hows that image of the Great Detective holding up?

Because mine’s doing great!

Looks like Herlock’s been looking at the Ships log, and he’s picked up on the fact that it’s practically blank from 2am onwards, which interestingly is just after the time Kazuma’s diary says he was killed. I’d also imagine this is when Nikolina arrived onboard.

Also Ryunosuk actually payed Herlock a complement!

Something’s happening? What’s happening???

HE WAS DRUGGED TO!!!

(Though I don’t know why I’m surprised. I already guessed the rest of the ship was drugged so they wouldn’t see Nikolina while she was being smuggled onboard)

Has Susato realised too?

And off he goes! Singing all the way!

What a wonderous man you are Herlock

I think she’s worked it out!

As expected of the daughter of the Professor of Pathology!

You know I don’t know if I’ve ever really taken the time to appreciate the level of detail Ace Attorney has sometimes. Like this is exactly how I’d describe the sort of headache you get after being knocked out by drugs.

Susato’s left it for now, and I can’t work out if she’s already worked it out, or if she’s still puzzling it out. Either way, I think she’s got this.

(Ok, I’ve clearly missed something here...)

Or no, I haven’t!

The alarm’s going off!!!

ANOTHER SHIP!?!

DAMN NIKOLINA THE BALET COMPANY ARE SERIOUS HUH!??!

(Clinging to each other Susato and I (Ryunosuke) managed to not die when the ship crashed to a halt.)

Now’s the time to see if the bolts slide closed though!

YES YES!!! LOOK IT’S SHUT!!!

LOCKED ROOM MYSTERY SOLVED BABY!!!

HERLOCK SHOLMES EAT YOUR HEART OUT!!! THERE’S A NEW GREATEST DETECTIVE IN TOWN!!!

(I’m talking about me, not Batman)

Shit! We’ve been rumbled!

HOSONAGA!!!

Hosonaga cares for us so much

I care for you to Hosonaga!

(Honestly I’m surprised the sound of me lowering a crown onto my own head didn’t somehow reach the game world.)

Yeah Naruhodo-san, let Hosonaga in so I can show him my unbearably smug face!

That’s not a very nice way to talk about Hosonaga Ryousuke!

(Sorry I couldn’t resist that joke)

So we have indeed been rumbled lads, and with at least one more part of this case to go it’s not going to be plain sailing

(I’ll see myself out...)

#tgaa #tgaa spoilers #the great ace attorney #the adventure of the unbreakable speckled band #ryunosuke naruhodo #susato mikotoba #satoru hosonaga #kazuma asougi #(I am still trying to avenge your death Kazuma)

[harringtonstudios]

dusky pink.

plot: you’re called in for an emergency photoshoot, not really knowing what to expect, things can surprise you. part 2!

A/N: holy moly this is the most i’ve written! glad i got back in a mood. this is for the anon that asked about a model!au earlier, i hope you like it. 

taglist: @iamdorka​ @no-shxt-sherl​ @bakerkells​ @findingmyth​ @rosegoldrichie​

When you had gotten an emergency casting call from Galore Magazine, you hadn’t expected all this. YBeing an established model, you were  known for your unique photoshoots and uprising through runway walks. You had been in the industry for almost a full year now, feeling like a veteran when you were constantly being booked by different agencies. 

Galore Magazine was one of your first employers. They had allowed you to explore your creative side while posing for the camera, launching what the industry called your “brand.” You had developed a strong, personal relationship with the executive assistant of the magazine, and she would always offer you jobs when you felt like you needed something to do in order to keep busy. 

-

The phone call came in at 3am, disrupting a night out. You had immediately picked up, walking to the outside of a club after seeing her name flash on the screen. Within minutes, in a slightly tipsy haze, you had agreed to a two-day long shoot, confirming that you would be able to fly out in a few hours. 

The alcohol had settled into your bloodstream when you rushed to your apartment, throwing clothes into a duffel bag. The flight you were supposed to be on was scheduled to leave soon, and you knew that check-ins were going to be a bitch, so you grabbed a bagel from the 24/7 corner deli before setting off to get to the airport. 

It was only after you had settled into the airplane seat that you realized you weren’t exactly sure what you had said yes to. The alcohol from last night had drained out, leaving you with a pounding headache and you grimaced as the plane started lifting off. Pulling out your phone, you texted the editor of Galore, shamelessly asking what you had signed up for the night before. 

There were a few emojis exchanged and then finally, you got the creative plan for the shoot. It was supposed to be a Romeo-and-Juliet aesthetic, inspired by the 90s Leonardo DiCaprio version. You grinned, remembering how fully obsessed you were with that movie in your teenage years. The vibes had always seemed so beautiful, popping shadows and gold chains, it was something you were eager to emulate. 

As you read through the notes, you realized that they had a rapper coming in to play as Romeo. This threw you off, there was a certain way you modeled and when collaborating with others, you liked to be prepared beforehand. It wasn’t anything bad necessarily, you just liked to know your partners so that you could tweak your methods to their needs better. You took a breath before opening up Google to search up “Machine Gun Kelly.” 

There were a shit-ton of articles to sort through, mostly relating to his new album release, “bloom.” Scrolling through the different new posts, you bit your lip. He seemed nice enough,a few things catching your eye straight off the bat. The tattoos that lined his skin were amazing, creating a tinge of jealousy as you looked at all of them. Tattoos were your weakness, having about ten smaller ones yourself. This was going to be interesting.

-

Landing at the airport, you caught a Lyft straight to the set. Since this was an emergency fill-in, you didn’t have time to do much else, sighing as the Galore studio came into view. You loved being in California, the sun shining down on you, cobbled streets, lazing living and you really wanted to enjoy all of it. 

Right away, the front desk assistant shuffled you off to the hair and make-up room. The team had a very specific vision to execute and you smiled as their creation came to life. Putting on a natural, dewy look, you sat up straight, trying to make this process as easy as possible for everyone.

 Picking up tweezers, they aligned gems under your eyes, making the color pop. Lightly dusting some shimmery powder on your cheek, they moved on to your hair. Straightening it, they applied some sleeking oils before tying it back a little. All of a sudden, one of the top makeup executives came rushing in, holding a swatch of eyeshadow. 

“Put this on her! And make sure her lip color matches. Let’s go, hurry it up,” he clapped, throwing the palate to the artist working on you. You shut your eyes, letting fingers run over your eyelids. The color was a dusky pink and as you looked at yourself in the mirror, you felt good. 

Applying some Vaseline on your lips before the pink gloss, you pursed your mouth together, blowing a kiss at the mirror. Glancing up, you caught the eye of someone standing behind you. 

Turning around, you looked up to see none other than Machine Gun Kelly, leaning against the doorway. His makeup seemed to be already done, matching the glow of yours. His hair was done up, looking soft and sharp at the same time. There was a scar on his cheek, cut open and you saw the eyeshadow shade splotched around it, creating dusky pink on top of his cheekbone. He was smiling at you and you felt a blush start to rise on your cheeks. 

“Promise I’m not that cocky. Ever,” you muttered, trying to avoid his warm gaze. 

“Cockiness is sexy,” he laughed, leaning over to reach out a hand, “I’m Kells.”

“Y/N,” you responded, giving him a loose handshake. 

“Oh c’mon, I know you can shake harder than that,” he grinned, gripping the tips of your fingers in his hand. 

“I mean, I could. But why would I want to?” you responded cheekily. Raising his eyebrows, he smirked, dropping your hand. 

“HEY YOU TWO! GET INTO COSTUME,” the executive assistant shouted as she passed by. Walking behind you, she leaned in to whisper, “Looks like someone’s getting along,” before going on her way. Feeling the blush climb just a little higher, you got up off the chair. 

“Costumes that way,” you murmured, pointing down the hall as Kells followed behind you.

 “So, you know a lot about Galore?” he asked and you smiled thinking of all the memories you had in these very rooms. 

“Yeah, they gave me my first big break yanno? I’ve been eternally indebted to them since,” you explained, letting your fingers trail over the walls covered in autographs. 

“Wow, big ups to you. Most people forget where they come from, glad to see you sticking to your roots,” he spoke as you turned into the room. 

“Mhm,” you whispered, immediately getting distracted by the racks that hung around the room. Colors popped out from every corner, complementing the golden shades on your faces. Reaching out to touch one of the satin shirts, you felt Kells nudge your elbow from behind. 

“I don’t think we’re supposed to touch those,” he murmured, nodding to the sign that the costume designer had hung up. 

“They’re beautiful, I have to. Fuck the rules,” you muttered, picking up one of the hangers off the rack. 

He gave you a look before mumbling, “That’s what I like to hear,” and then both of you were grabbing hangers, pulling clothes off of the racks. 

“Where do we change?” he asked, hands bunching up the expensive silky shirts. You knew the changing stations were next door, but you didn’t want to really walk over. 

Looking up at Kells, you smirked before going, “Right here?”

“Oh? Don’t have to tell me twice,” he said, throwing the shirts on one of the chairs in the room. Reaching to pull over his white t-shirt, he laughed, seeing your gaze on his bare torso. 

“Sorry, I um, haven’t seen so many tattoos on somebody,” you stuttered out, hands itching to reach across and touch. 

“I think that’s what they all say,” he said, running his tongue against his teeth. 

“Shut up, get naked,” you scoffed, turning around to hide the red of your cheeks.

 Pulling off your top, you reached for the first shirt you had grabbed, a deep blue button down. It wasn’t meant for you, reaching down to the tops of your thighs as you closed one of the lower buttons. The shoot was going to be in lingerie anyway, and you knew Kells would see your body, so there wasn’t any reason to hide it right now. Turning around, you presented yourself, throwing up jazz hands. 

He guffawed, palms reaching up to cover his mouth. Widening your eyes, you leaned over, putting your hands on top of his. 

“Stop, are you trying to get caught?” you shushed him, looking at the door for the costume director to walk in at any minute. 

“I’m sorry, you just look great, I. I can’t even come up with words,” he snickered as you moved your hands back. 

Flipping him off, you took a step back, admiring his look. He was wearing a deep pink suit, jacket open to reveal all his tattoos, pants tailored to his exact body shape. Looking him up and down, you wet your lips, tongue reaching out involuntary. 

He opened his mouth to say something, but suddenly a shout came through the door. “What is going ON? Y/N you know better,” came rushing out of the mouth of the director. Snapping at you, she pointed over to a rack filled with satin lingerie. 

“Get the white one on now. Take this shit off,” she said, reaching for the blue shirt you’d done up. Huffing, you shrugged it off, before walking over to the clothes for you. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see her fussing over Colson’s fit, playing around with the buttons on his jacket. 

Shrugging off your sweatpants, you pulled on the white outfit. It fell to the bottom of your legs, slits done meticulously to show off your legs. The lace on it was beautiful, and you hesitated before stepping back around, suddenly getting a little bundle of nerves in your belly. 

“Perfect! Come here,” she muttered, reaching for something on the table. Picking up a set of angel wings, she turned you around, snapping them over your back. 

You saw Kells staring at you from his spot by the door, and the heat in his eyes was unmistakable. The bundle turned into a flutter and you swallowed, trying to calm yourself down. This was just going to be another shoot, nothing special. 

-

Oh how wrong you were. Right off the bat, the director asked you both to go across the street, in the mansion they had booked for the day. This was your first time exploring and you had quietly marveled in the grandeur of it all. There was a high wall, taller than you were, but coming to right around Colson’s chin. The director lifted you up, and then you were posing on top of the wall, bare legs soaking in the sun as Colson played with your hand, standing right below you.

For the first few shots, you looked out in the distance, trying not to catch his eyes. It had gotten intimidating to make eye contact, especially now that you were in the headspace of Juliet. After a couple of takes, you got pulled aside, softly told to “Act like you’re in love, dammit,” and then popped back up on the wall. 

Taking a breath, you steadied yourself as Colson put your palm in his, and made eye contact, softly smiling as he looked up at you. The pose felt like forever, eyes boring into each other, and then the director shouted, “Amazing! Ok next,” and you were being pulled down into the next area. 

-

A few solo photos later, they put you back on the wall. Colson stood in between your bare legs, leaning into you. His arms braced on either side of your hips. The close proximity made you nervous, and you let out a soft laugh as his hair brushed against your cheek.

“Shhh,” he whispered, barely moving his mouth. 

“You shhh,” you whispered back, leaning your shoulder against his.

 Instead of responding, he simply reached his hand over, putting it slightly over yours. Tapping his thumb against the back of your hand, he slowly moved it into a stroke and you pulled your legs together instinctively, forgetting he was in between them. 

You saw the smirk build in his face and you let out a breath, trying to not let him get to you. 

“What’s wrong,” he murmured, still moving his thumb agonizingly slow on your hand. Nudging him with your thigh, you tried to shut him up as the camera flashed. 

“Done. Okay, both of you. Take a break, go change. We need to get a few more shots in before the sun goes down,” the photographer shot out and you pushed Kells back a little, throwing him a grin before sauntering back to the studio. 

-

Switching into the green lingerie suit, you looked at yourself in the mirror. This one was a smaller one-piece and you glanced at your booty, making sure it looked good for the pictures. Pulling the suit up a little, you admired the way the lace cupped your boobs, perfectly covering your nipples. Picking up a towel from nearby, you wrapped it around before crossing back over to the mansion. 

Kells was standing there in the blue shirt from earlier, and you let out a laugh, seeing the perfect way it hung off of him. You reached up, adjusting his collar, smiling as you saw him gulp. 

“I think you look better in this,” you murmured, fingers delicately running right over his neck. 

Stepping back before he could respond, you took off your towel, putting it on the desk nearby. Turning back around, you saw his face, eyes eagerly running up and down your exposed body. 

“I think you’d look better in nothing,” he mumbled, hand rubbing at his chin. You felt yourself get warmer at his comment, and you threw a wink at him, before walking over to the director who was setting up a beautiful red car. 

“Game plan?” you asked, clapping your hands together. 

-

Ten minutes later, you were balancing on Kells’ thigh as he sat on the car’s hood. One leg hitched over him, the other extended as you stood straight. You pressed your torso against his, arching into him, throwing your head back so you could bare your neck. 

Placing both hands on his chest, you laughed as the director yelled at Colson, placing him into position. He wrapped a hand around your back and you felt yourself naturally lean into the touch. His other hand came to rest on your bare thigh, pressing in slightly, fingers barely there. He looked straight at you, and you feel your heartbeat pulse as the camera started clicking. 

“Y/N! Wrap your arms around his neck. Yes, now look right over at the camera,” came the shouts from the director. Colson pulled you closer, bringing the arm around your waist closer. He turned to face the camera too and you watched the director falter for a second before rushing over to take the picture. 

“Holy fuck! That was incredible,” she yelled from behind the screen, and you giggled, letting your head fall on his shoulder. 

-

“Y/n, you’re free to go for tonight,” the executive director said, pointing around the rest of the crew to pick up different set pieces. You nodded, grabbing your duffel bag as you turned to face her real quick, “Uh, what about Kells?” 

He was across the room, getting more eyeshadow dusted onto his cut, typing away on his phone. The director looked over at him, before looking at you, eager to get away with him. 

Rolling her eyes, she went, “Listen, I need him for a few more shots tonight, but he’ll be done in half an hour if you wanna hang around. I know Gina’s been dying to catch up with you.”

Grinning, you dropped your bag on the seat. Pulling your hair up into a ponytail, you walked past Colson to the hair station. Gina had been the first friend you’d made modeling and she was incredible at her job, a creative visionary when it came to not only styling hair, but keeping it protected when crazy things were happening too. 

Leaving the room, you heard Colson go, “Hey, wait where’s Y/N going?” and you smiled, knowing that you weren’t the only one feeling the heat building between the two of you. As you got out of earshot, you could still hear the director yelling, “Don’t get your panties in a twist!” and you almost walked smack into Gina herself, snickering at his panic. 

-

Half an hour later, you were clinging onto Gina’s words as she told you the latest horror story of a terrible famous client. She had broke out a bottle of rosé, sipping on bubbles while you picked at the platter of fruits you had stolen from the front desk. There was a knock on the door, and you hopped off of the counter, pulling it open. Kells stood there, back in his regular clothes, Converse knocking against each other as he stumbled a little. 

“Hey,” he mumbled. 

You lifted your cup up, taking another sip, raising your eyebrows, urging him to continue by nodding slightly. 

“So, I’m kinda stuck in the area for the next two days for this terrible photoshoot I’m doing with this horrible girl -” he started, and you interrupted him, choking on the rosé as it hit the back of your throat, laughing. 

“Sorry, uh, you were talking about this awful girl?” you continued, getting most of it out of your system. 

“Right, yeah. Would you wanna get dinner with me?” he finished, making that eye contact again, creating a warm fuzz in your tummy. 

“Yeah, yes. Yeah,” you blurted out, rosé and nerves rumbling within you. 

“You said that already,” he grinned as you went over to pick up your bag. 

“Shut up,” you grinned back, trying to hide your smile. 

“Bye Gins, I’ll catch you tomorrow,” you said, leaning in for a hug. Kissing your cheek, she whispered in your ear, “Get some please. I need to know, for science,” and you let out a belly-laugh before following Colson out the door as he waved goodbye. 

It was all in the name of science right? No harm, no foul.

#here i go clown x2 #pls dont fail me now #mgk imagine #mgk lyrics #mgk icons #mgk fanfic #mgk fanfiction #mgk x reader #mgk smut #machine gun kelly imagine #machine gun kelly x reader #machine gun kelly fanfiction #machine gun kelly fanfic #machine gun kelly smut #colson baker x reader #colson baker fanfiction #colson baker imagine #colson baker fanfic #colson baker smut #m writes 4 mgk #m-writes-4-mgk #galore #galore magazine #romeo et juliette

[adhdandageminimoon]

my thoughts in the last two hours on tumblr shortened:

“ooh adhd memes i’m in”

“i want to post something on here too” *wanting to open notes app* *instead opening instagram* “what was i doing?™” *back to tumblr*

“wow other people’s brains do the same??” “wow other people’s brains don’t do that??”

“i think i wanted to drink something”

“this is too long i am unable to read that” *scrolls through someone’s feed reading every single post*

“you used too many colours it hurts” *remembering the instruction image my maths teacher made that gave me a headache and it wasn’t even in colour*

“do i even have adhd?” *sees next post* “YES”

*✨Look! A shiny new post editor✨ Try it now*

*still dehydrated*

#adhd #undiagnosed adhd #adhd culture #adhd brain #adhd things #first post #am i even using these correctly?

[pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles]

Wicked Game (Part 2)

Word Count: 20K+ total Team Long Winded Bitch strikes again, this will be posted in multiple parts over the next couple of days. The first part is about 5K, part 2 is 7K

Rating: 18+ Slash fic Strong language, alcohol and drug use, and a misogynistic and racist comment. Sexual scenes including masturbation, toys, voyeurism, oral, and anal sex.

Summary: Ashton is ready to move on with his life after his painful divorce from Luke and the demise of the restaurant they’d built together. With the help of his protegee and sous chef Hima Singh, Ashton is ready to take on opening weekend of his new restaurant Anne-Marie’s. Calum is a reporter filling in on an assignment and is surprised when his past comes back to haunt him. Hima arranges an interview that takes an unexpected turn between the two men.

Ashton grabbed his bag and shut off the lights in the bar. Hima was waiting impatiently by the door, keys in hand. Following the disaster of an afternoon, they'd been packed until closing. He'd been too busy cooking to think about it, something he loved about his job. The rush and the heat combined with the complete focus on his work. You had to keep your eyes on your fingers or you got hurt. The satisfaction of plating an order and sending it out until the next order came in, starting the process over again. 

"Will you come on?" Hima tapped her foot, making her keys jangle. "My brother is waiting for us."  Her twin brother had passed the bar exam a month ago, but everything had been so crazy with the opening they hadn't properly celebrated yet. 

The bouncer recognized Hima and let them in immediately. Tirana was a sleek, neon-lit bar favoring overpriced cocktails, elaborately garnished and meant to be as much of a showpiece as a beverage. Ashton eyed the crowd full of men sporting off the rack Italian suits with egos as inflated as their dates' chests. Kabir was waiting in VIP with his friends and waved them up. Ashton congratulated him and ordered a spiked seltzer, passing on the bottle service Kabir offered. Hima was taking shots with the guys and he joined them in a toast. As he was taking a drink he spotted Calum Hood leaning against the wall, looking bored and maybe a little drunk. Hima must've seen his expression because she whipped around just as Calum looked up and noticed them. Ashton tried to look away and act as if he hadn't noticed the other man. Hima had other ideas and made a beeline for the reporter. 

"Hey Calum, fancy meeting you here," she said relieved when he seemed happy to see her. "Come have a drink with us, or am I interrupting something?"

"If you're buying," Calum replied. "A friend brought me here and then fucked off on a phone call." He laughed, but it died out when he saw Ashton.

"Listen," Hima cut him off before he could speak. "I know this afternoon didn't go well, but what you don't know is just before you came in, my boss had to sit through an interview with Kevin Mackie. It did not go well " 

"Oh God, that insufferable bastard," Calum snorted.

"Exactly, and you know Mackie brought up all that old shit from Lune Rouge," Hima told him "That's in addition to insulting every woman who works there, of course." 

Calum cringed, and his eyes flickered back towards Ashton talking to Kabir and his lawyer friends. He couldn't help but notice the contrast between the intense scowling man he'd encountered this afternoon and the smiling bubbly ray of sunshine he was looking at now. Was that an actual giggle? Calum blamed the tequila for agreeing to join Hima for a quick drink since his date still hadn't come back. He'd allowed his editor, Shamara, to set him up twice now, but there wouldn't be a third time. 

Ashton wiped his sweaty palms on his black jeans as he watched Calum following Hima over towards them. He'd found the reporter attractive this afternoon, but he'd been wearing a long sleeve button up for the interview. Tonight Calum was in all black, and the tank top he wore under the leather jacket showed the ink etched into his skin above his collarbones. Ashton gripped the drink in his hands a bit tighter, trying to keep his nerves steady. He slowly edged his way over to where they were talking just as Calum launched into a story about his magazine sending him on a tour of small mom and pop restaurants up the California coast. 

"The owner's husband was sick that day, so she was doing most of the work herself," Calum was saying as Ashton listened in on the conversation. "Beulah was amazing, but they were getting slammed. I asked if she needed any help, and I spent the next three hours manning a fryer. I cooked the chicken, and she'd toss it in the hot oil and spices before slapping it on a bun with the sauce. You'd get the sandwich, pickle, and fries in a little brown sack. We sold hundreds of them, but I knew why when it slowed down enough that I finally got to eat. It's the best chicken sandwich you'll ever have! Tossing it in that spicy oil gives it a flavor that punches you in the mouth. She taught me most of her secrets over the two days I ended up staying until her husband got over the flu.." 

I could listen to this man talk all day, Ashton thought watching Calum's expressions and hands as he told the story. The way his chest rumbled when he laughed, which was often throughout the tale. He seemed like a genuinely warm person, and Hima seemed to like him. Maybe I was wrong, five years is a long time

"That's so sweet," Hima smiled up at Calum as he finished..  She was smitten despite hearing rumors he played for the other team. 

"Ended up extending my trip for an extra five days which caused all sorts of headaches when I got back. My boss was pissed I'd gone over my expense account," Calum said, shaking his head at the memory, his cheeks flushed from the alcohol now loosening his tongue. He was relieved his date was still MIA. Ashton was standing close enough for Calum to smell his cologne, and it was proving distracting. 

"Is that the same magazine you work for now?" Hima asked.

"Yeah, but I was damn near fired. I paid back the money by throwing cash onto my boss's desk when I turned in my story, and he was not amused. The editor-in-chief, who also owns the publisher,  loved my story, and after that, I was sent on more in-depth character profiles. I wanna get to know the people behind the food." Calum looked directly at Ashton, meeting his eyes as he spoke. His breath caught in his throat at the intensity in Ashton's hazel eyes as he listened. How is he this handsome? Calum thought. This man has no right to be this good looking. That chest hair peeking out from under that pink shirt is teasing me. Wonder what's underneath? Wait, no I don’t. Stop thinking about that or you're gonna get hard.

"So what exactly were you sent to find?" Ashton asked, his tone still guarded but more friendly than before. 

Calum took a deep breath and thought quickly. After the interview bombed this afternoon, he came up with a backup plan if Ashton didn't come through. He made a decision to float both his ideas.

"Look, I know a lot of people are bugging you for gossip about your personal life, but that's not what I'm here for. You opened your first restaurant at 25, and the food at Lune Rouge was fantastic. I know I didn't give you a good review then, but I was trying to be edgy and cool," Calum admitted.

Ashton exhaled and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry about this afternoon. Mackie brought up Luke, and when you mentioned Finn I snapped. I'd like to try again, but I know Hima is more interesting. So what did you have in mind?" Ashton smiled and Calum had butterflies in his stomach. 

"I'd like to watch you cook, and see how you are in the kitchen. Tell me how your philosophy on cooking has evolved and what stayed the same," Calum replied. I hope that didn't sound as cringe to him as it did to me. Turning to Hima, he continued talking, "I'd like to do an extra little feature on you if that's ok. It'll give the article a nice balance I think, what do you say?" 

Ashton saw Hima's face light up and knew he'd have to say yes. He had to admit, the pitch sounded great, even if the idea of Calum watching him work made him nervous. They turned towards him to see what he thought, and Ashton's gaze landed on Calum's mouth just as he licked his lips. Please don't do that, he thought to himself. Don't make me think about how you taste, and how those lips would feel against mine.

"I definitely think Hima deserves her own feature. I'll go along with whatever you want," Ashton told them. 

"You know Calum," Hima turned on the charm. "I'm off tomorrow. I could take you to the best Indian restaurant you've never heard of for lunch." Her eyes got huge and she grabbed Calum's arm. "I'm a genius you guys, listen, the restaurant is hella busy, and the boss man," she nodded towards Ashton, "won't be much fun to interview if there are customers waiting. He just redid the kitchen in his condo, so why don't you do the interview there? That way he's not around us idiots at the restaurant." 

Both men stared at her, and Hima panicked thinking she'd overstepped somehow until Ashton nodded. "Sounds like it could work, what do you think?" He asked looking at Calum who nodded, his smile getting broader. 

“Sure, um, that sounds great. Really just um, great," he fished his phone out of his pocket and unlocked it before handing it over. "Go ahead and put your number in, and I'll text you tomorrow." 

"Is that your little sister?" Hima asked, spotting the picture on his lock screen. 

"That's my daughter, Vanessa Joy. Absolute light of my life," Calum beamed, pulling up another pic.

"Daughter?" Hima and Ashton exchanged shocked looks before quickly regaining their composure.

"We were kids. I hadn't figured things out yet," Calum gave his standard explanation. 

He started to say more, but he spotted his now-forgotten date headed back towards them.  Hima saw his grimace and followed his gaze to the approaching man. She guessed he must be a lawyer who wanted everyone to know it, wearing a double-breasted British tailored suit and gold Submariner watch.

"Sorry about that Cal, that was a client who's a real pain in the ass," the newcomer joined their little group, peering at Ashton with suspicion. "I'm Nick Callahan, a junior partner at Fish, Filbeck, and Greene " Hima almost laughed out loud at this skinny little dude in a fancy suit trying to puff out his chest and put some bass in his voice as he went to shake her boss's hand. Ashton looked amused but Calum not so much. 

"Calum, if you don't mind, there's someone I'd like you to meet," Nick waved at a group who'd just come in. He tried to pull Calum away, but he shook Nick's hand off his arm.

"Give me a second, and I'll be over," Calum said, nodding at someone he recognized in the group. "Tell Teddy to order a round of drinks, I'm buying." When Nick still didn't budge, Calum turned his body towards his date and leaned in to whisper in his ear. "I'm interviewing this young lady tomorrow, and I want to get it set up before I get drunk, ok?" 

Nick swallowed at the warning in Calum's voice and scurried off to meet his friends. 

"Sorry about that," Calum turned back, smiling again. He had them each put their number in and saved the info with a smile.  "I'm so glad I ran into y'all. Hima, I will text you in the morning, and Ashton just let me know when and where." He gave her a quick hug and a peck on the cheek which made her blush furiously. He shook Ashton's hand and everything seemed to pause as they locked eyes, exchanging smiles. The handshake lingered a beat too long before they both pulled back completely flustered. 

"See you guys then," Calum made a hasty retreat towards Nick and his friends. 

"What did you do?" Ashton hissed, feeling dizzy, excited, terrified, and nauseous all at once. 

"We'll just have to see, won't we? You two are obviously into each other," Hima tossed her hair over her shoulder, giving Ashton a pointed look. 

"I'm not trying to start anything, you know that. Since the divorce it's been too hard and-" Ashton stopped when she put her finger to his lips.

"It's an interview. With a very attractive reporter. You'll be in your element, you can hide behind your food and your knives, but you can get through this. I want my feature." She glared at him and stood on her tiptoes trying to go eye to eye with him.

He had to laugh. Hima was impossible to stay cross with. As he glanced back over towards Calum, he couldn't deny he was intrigued. Don't get your hopes up, Irwin. 

Kabir came over to drag them back to his friends. Ashton spent the next hour dancing with Kabir's girlfriend and watching his friends try to hit on Hima without getting caught. Hima's family was overprotective, and her mother was constantly pressuring Kabir to find his sister a good match. As a result, she kept her private life closely guarded, even Ashton didn't know much, although he suspected she had a thing going with one of the servers at Anne-Marie's. 

As the song ended, he realized he had to pee. Ashton excused himself and followed the neon arrows to a dimly lit hallway decorated with glow in the dark graffiti. He made his way past the line for the women's room and around two people noisily making out next to the emergency exit. He reached the men's room door just as it swung open towards him. He stumbled back to avoid being hit and collided with the couple behind him. An arm shot out from the tangled bodies, shoving him forward chest first into the man who'd just come out of the bathroom. Ashton put his hands up to steady himself, inhaling the scent of leather and whiskey with a faint whiff of stale tobacco as he looked at Calum's face inches from his own.

"Sorry, uh, I was pushed," Ashton apologized, unable to stop staring at the other man's lips.

"It's ok," Calum's heart was pounding, and he was sure Ashton could feel it through his jacket. He was tempted to make a move and go in for a kiss. He paused long enough to remember the interview, and not wanting to have another misstep, he let the moment pass. "It's all yours," he said squeezing over so Ashton could pass.

Ashton paused, confused, but remembered he was headed to the bathroom. "Thanks, uh, see ya," he replied trying not to stammer. Yeah, that was smooth, he thought. Before he closed the door, he looked back and caught Calum looking back at him.hey both smiled before the crowd closed in and he lost eye contact. He had to stand and splash cold water on his face to get his pulse back to normal. When he looked in the mirror, he saw that his face was still very pink and he was grinning like a fool. I didn't just imagine that did I? What am I doing? What am I going to cook for him? 

*********

Ashton jumped at the sound of the buzzer even though he was expecting her. He quickly let her up, and within seconds Hima was at his door. 

"How did it go?" He hadn't even fully opened the door before the question was past his lips.

"Eager much? Why don't you get me a drink, and I'll decide what I want to tell you," she said, taking off her jacket and hanging it up. 

"You impertinent bitch," Ashton cracked up and headed to the kitchen to put on the kettle.

"You sound like my mother," Hima settled at the bar facing him.

Ashton had expanded his kitchen so he could install a six top gas range and a convection oven while giving himself extra counter space with a small sink directly across and a small island in between. Instead of a dining room, he had an L-shaped bar where he could serve guests directly from the kitchen. He pulled a pitcher of cold brew out of the fridge and poured himself a glass with a splash of cashew milk adding a splash to her cup of hot chai. 

"It's such a shame you're gay. We'd have such a great marriage," she joked blowing on her tea.

"I love you too much to marry you, darling," Ashton replied as always. 

"Good thing I like my new stepdaddy," she told him, and he choked on his coffee. 

"So what did you guys talk about?" He asked when he'd recovered. 

"Mostly me, but also you. What do you want first, the details about him or what he asked about you?" Hima smirked at him, almost laughing when he glared at her. 

"I'll let you decide, how about that?" Ashton rummaged through the refrigerator before pulling out a loaf of bread. 

"Ooh snack time. When did you go to the market? I thought you opened for Rafi today. What are you gonna make for him?" She fired off, trying to crane her neck to see what he bought.

"Nope, you're gonna talk or you're not getting fed. I went before I went in at ten and I stayed till eight. I've barely got home, and I don't need your attitude, young lady. Now spill it," he told her as he pulled out a couple of onions and some gruyere cheese. 

"I love it when you're pissy. It looks so good on you. So I took him to Parvati's and ordered chana masala on roasted sweet potatoes. It was so good, I wish you liked Indian food more. We talked about my family, and how they're mostly engineers and lawyers but food was my passion. Confessed that when we first met, I had the biggest crush on you because you were so handsome." She giggled and made a show of fluttering her eyelashes at him. Ashton blushed and threw a caper at her. Hima swatted it back at him and kept talking. "Calum agreed you were handsome by the way. So I told him how you'd mentored me, and when you left the Hilton to open Anne-Marie's, you brought me with you. It was very heartwarming, and I promise I made you look good. He asked a few questions about you, but it was mostly professional stuff. What was it like working for you? What kind of collaborative effort went into the menu? Stuff like that," she shrugged watching Ashton heat up some soup as the sandwiches cooked. 

"Well, that's a lot of nothing. I thought you were better than that," Ashton said, pouting his lips at her. 

"I know he asked if you were single, but he was hella smooth about it. He asked what kind of gift he should bring tomorrow, whether it should be a bottle of wine or something you could share if you had a roommate. Don't worry, I let him know you were single, but I was cool about it," Hima grinned at her boss's discomfort. He cut the sandwich in half and poured a cup of soup to go with it. He cut some fresh chives to top off the soup along with some crème Fraiche and fresh cracked pepper. 

She stopped talking to enjoy the food. Ashton introduced her to cream of celery soup and it quickly became a favorite. The sandwich was beyond good yet incredibly simple: sauteed onions on a grilled cheese sandwich made with Ashton's homemade compound shallot-butter. 

"I'm disappointed, I thought you were better than that," Ashton raised his eyebrows at her.

"I'm not done, I'm just enjoying the food. My compliments to the chef." Hima ripped a piece of crust off her sandwich and dipped it in her soup. "I found out some things about Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome," she told him before running her tongue along the edge of the bread and then taking a bite. 

Ashton laughed and flipped her off. He had pastry cream cooking in a double boiler, so he was continuously stirring between bites. 

Watching him work, she never knew if she was completely in awe of him or a little in love with him, but probably both if she was honest with herself. She'd told Calum as much, off the record of course. It always amazed her how his large hands could be so nimble and quick with a knife, yet so delicate and careful when he was garnishing and plating. She'd told Calum how grateful she was that Ashton had given her such a huge opportunity without being patronizing or expecting her to touch his cock. 

People might think cooking would be a natural fit for a woman but professional kitchens were very much a man's world. You had to be physically and mentally tough. She was lucky that she'd gotten out the hotels before she'd been subjected to sexual harassment, but she'd seen enough. Ashton didn't tolerate any kind of physical or verbal harassment, but every cook could curse a blue streak and work through an injury. Most cooks wore their scars like battle wounds. Hima had a jagged thin white line trailing down her left forearm from a staple on a lettuce box that ripped her flesh open while putting away a truck. Ashton had a couple of red welts from the panini grill decorating his arms and a gnarly pink, puckered scar on his left wrist from an accident with molten sugar years ago.

"Ok so, he's a year and a half younger than you, turns 28 in January actually. Aquarius, so that should be fun. Never married, but he's got the kid," Hima informed him.

"That really came out of nowhere the other night. I never would've guessed that," Ashton said over his shoulder, turning his back on her to keep stirring. 

"It happened when he was in high school. His first girlfriend, their senior year of high school. They'd already been broken up for two months when they got the news, just when he'd started to figure out his sexuality. They tried to get back together for the sake of their daughter but quickly realized it wouldn't work in a traditional way. Now they're best friends and co-parents to Vanessa Joy. In fact, when Nicole married her boyfriend, Michael, two years ago Calum walked her down the aisle," Hima told him.

Ashton's jaw dropped. "What the hell, Hima? You guys had lunch one time and you know his life story." 

"My mother's interrogation skills rubbed off I guess. His daughter also happened to call while he was with me. It was so cute; she made the honor roll and he was so proud. He apologized for taking the call during lunch but said he always has to answer if it's his daughter or his mom." 

Ashton turned towards Hima, smiling and blushing, "I can respect that." 

"I'm sure you can, Mama's boy," she replied. "Honestly the two of you are adorable. A pair of smitten kittens. He kept asking questions about what it's like to work with you. What are you like as a boss? And every question he got this funny little smile and couldn't look at me. I really hate that you get the best looking guys. It's bad enough you look like that," Hima gestured at him as she looked him up and down. "First Luke, and now Calum, I'm so jealous. That being said I really hope you hook up with him. You could stand to get laid." 

"Watch it," he cautioned, not wanting to kill the mood.

"Sorry, but the other night y'all had some serious chemistry. You should go for it. Speaking of, I gotta go. Kabir is having a date night so I actually don't have to go home," she checked her phone, and Ashton didn't recognize the gaudy pink glitter case. 

She caught his puzzled expression and laughed, "My mom checks my location, so my iPhone and my car stay at Maisie's. Everything gets forwarded here, and I don't have to answer a million questions." 

"You're 24, how are you still dealing with this? When is your mother going to treat you like an adult?" Ashton shook his head, he never understood how she dealt with her family.

She sighed, "It's impossible to explain unless you have Asian parents. My mom grew up here, but my grandparents were still very much rooted in India. If you think my mom is difficult, you should've met grandma." A text came in, and she wrinkled her nose in annoyance reading it. "Why am I the only person who's punctual?" She muttered to herself before looking back at Ashton. "So what are you making tomorrow for the big date, I mean, interview? Mind if I smoke?" 

He shook his head and followed her onto the balcony. "Stop saying that, I'm nervous enough as it is. I'm starting with a wilted chard salad with figs and goat cheese, and maybe a soup. I haven't decided, but for the main, I'm making mushroom Wellington with my specialty Mac and cheese and whatever vegetables I pick up at the market tomorrow morning. I'm making a sorbet for dessert. I was going to make a pavlova, but I don't have the patience for merengue right now." 

"Calum doesn't stand a chance, he'll be thoroughly seduced. Then I'll get my magazine story and be a star. People will start asking me for photos on the street, they'll learn how to pronounce my name, and I'm only going by Hima. I think I can get away with just one name, like Madonna, Beyonce, and Cher. Don't you? I promise the fame won't go to my head. I'll still be Hima from the block." 

Ashton cracked up. "Ok there, Roxy Hart," he teased. "You are so extra, it's too much for an old gay like myself." 

"You're not even thirty," she protested. Another text came in and her eyes lit up. She stubbed her cigarette out on the bottom of her shoe before wiping it clean with a napkin and stuffed both in her purse to throw away outside. "You've just gotta get back on the horse, and Calum seems like the type who'd be into chaps and spurs." 

"Don't you have places to go, people to do?" He asked, walking her to the door.

"Sure do, good luck tomorrow," she kissed his cheek and was gone.

*********

Calum finished the dishes and popped another antacid in his mouth. Spicy food didn't used to give him heartburn. Getting old I guess. His dog, Brutus, danced around his feet begging for a treat. 

"Not gonna happen, old man," he bent down to scratch the pooch behind his ears, but Brutus immediately flipped over for a belly rub. "Greedy bastard," Calum chuckled but obliged with a ton down and chin scratches. He found a chew stick on the couch and tossed it over by the dog's bed, and soon Brutus was curled up contentedly gnawing himself to sleep. 

Calum watched his little guy for a bit before heading to his desk to type out a rough draft. Hima was a firecracker, full of energy and ideas, and hard to keep up with. She talked a mile a minute, often switching topics mid-thought as she spoke. He'd had his voice recorder on, but he liked to write his first draft from memory. He admired her passion for her work, and her determination to follow her own path. She was fiercely loyal to Ashton and grateful for the opportunity he'd given her. Calum would've suspected she was a bit smitten with her boss, but she openly admitted her crush. She was quick to insist Ashton had never encouraged or entertained the idea, but she didn't need to tell him that. 

Calum knew all about Ashton's history, the cheating, the fights, the messy breakup that brought the restaurant down. He exhaled, nervous about having that conversation. He shut his laptop, now too distracted to write. It's just an interview, calm down. He tried to be rational, but his thoughts kept drifting back to bumping into Ashton at the bar. The pink shirt, the star tattoo begging to be traced with his tongue, those hazel eyes that made his heart jump into his stomach. He tried to focus on his laptop. This article wasn't going to write itself. 

****

Ashton laid on his back, concentrating on his breathing as he pressed his knees to the floor in reclining bound angle pose. He'd had too much coffee, and although his body was tired, his mind was racing. His phone was vibrating on the dresser, but Ashton ignored it, moving into a butterfly pose and touching his forehead to the floor. He exhaled, trying to clear his mind. But all he could think about was Calum Hood. He had a brand new restaurant to run. Now was not a good time to become infatuated with a handsome reporter. So why haven't you stopped smiling all day?  

He breathed deeply, in, out, in, out. But he couldn't concentrate, couldn't calm down. He pushed himself off the floor and grabbed his water off the table. He opened his phone and was surprised to see a notification from the restaurant security system. 

Alarm deactivated at 12:02 AM 

Alarm Panel 2

Code: 4452

Ashton realized Hima was at the restaurant. He knew she usually went there after her accounting class but that definitely wasn't the case tonight. Probably popped in for a bottle of wine, which doesn't sound like a bad idea. 

The kitchen tiles were chilly beneath his bare feet as he headed towards the small wine fridge on his counter. Craving something sweet, he found a Shiraz he'd been saving and poured a small glass. He scrolled through Spotify, picking a playlist at random, and Robyn's  "Dancing on my Own" came over the speakers following him through the apartment back into his bedroom. He caught sight of himself in the mirror and paused. 

He pulled his shirt off and turned around examining the freshly-healed Phoenix tattoo decorating his left side from his hip to the top of his ribs,  covering up the tattoo of Luke's name, birth date, and their wedding date. He trusted his tattoo artist and let him have creative freedom on the brightly-colored feathers and flames. It turned out beautifully. He turned sideways, rubbing his stomach and flexing in the mirror. He was in the best shape he'd been in since he was a teenager. Yoga kept him toned and lean so he was muscled without being bulky.

I'm giving it my all

But I'm not the girl you're taking home

He let the Swedish synth-pop beat take over, his hips swaying as he listened to lyrics about loneliness and feeling left out.

I keep dancing on my own

The irony wasn't lost on him as he kept dancing, moving away from the mirror. The next song was too slow so he quickly scrolled looking for something better. He clicked on Whitney Houston's "How Will I Know," and began to sing along. He saw that Hima hadn't left the restaurant and opened up the security camera feed on his phone to make sure she was ok. 

****

The more Calum stared at the screen the more his concentration drifted. He wondered if Ashton had a type. Cal knew he was decent looking, but he wasn't Luke Hemmings. He snorted at the thought of that simpering pretty boy. Luke was a spoiled child, soft and weak, thinking only of himself. I bet he's selfish in bed, probably a bossy bottom  He was surprised at the surge of jealousy he felt. Don't bring Finn into this. He rubbed his temples at the memory of finding out his then-boyfriend was cheating with Luke.

Finn was always looking for an opportunity, whatever would take him to the next level. His relationship of almost a year with Calum failed to get him noticed in the food press. Finn felt Ashton didn't give him enough credit at Lune Rouge and whined constantly about it. Cal was having his own career struggles at the time and personally thought Finn was acting like a spoiled brat instead of being grateful for the opportunity. They began to spend less time together after Calum's snarky review caused a huge blow up. So when Ashton and Luke's relationship began to fray, Finn had time to lend a sympathetic ear. Calum suspected Finn was cheating, but he bought into the “golden couple” bullshit so Luke never crossed his mind. Calum was shocked and gutted when he walked in on the two of them one afternoon. Finn was supposed to be out of town, and Calum popped by to check on his dogs. The sound of sex greeted him when he opened the door and he should have left right then. His curiosity got the better of him, and he walked towards the bedroom. Their moans masked the sound of his boots as someone had a very loud orgasm. Calum opened the door as they were falling away from each other. He walked in to find them panting for breath, sweaty and beautiful with the afterglow. Luke panicked and tried to hide himself, but Finn didn't flinch. 

"Well, I guess you know now," he said, smirking as his green eyes met Calum's. "If you're down for it, we've been talking about trying a third. You can top us both if you want." He shrugged and Calum physically felt the spell break. Looking back, he knew Finn broke his ego more than his heart. He'd been humiliated when it all came out, but he knew the affair had been worse for Ashton. He could tell Ashton was still damaged but definitely not broken. Wouldn't mind letting him break me, Calum thought, his mind wandering back to that unbuttoned pink shirt, Ashton's chest and neck begging to be marked up. I bet he likes it rough. 

Calum caught himself daydreaming again and blinked the half-filled word document back into focus. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had a crush on someone, and he felt ridiculous. How am I gonna get through this interview?  It didn't help that Hima kept teasing him about it being a date. Calum's last date, with Nick the lawyer, had been a disaster. He'd ended up leaving after Nick disappeared on another phone call.

The truth was, he was excited about this interview and wished it really was a date. He'd scheduled a quick haircut and shave in the morning and carefully picked out an outfit. He figured his short-sleeve, red button-up paired with a black tank underneath would show off his arms while helping to hide his tummy pudge. He rubbed his stomach, still poking out from the leftover Indian food he'd finished off an hour ago, before letting his hand wander down and brushing his fingers across his cock and feeling it twitch in his basketball shorts. He wondered what Ashton would be wearing tomorrow. He pictured Ashton at the club, the ripped black jeans and the pink shirt unbuttoned enough to tease him. His dick twitched in his hand, waking up and demanding attention. 

****

Ashton gasped and almost dropped his phone at the sight of Hima standing in the break room in nothing but her bra and panties. He hadn't recovered from that shock when a male figure crawled into the frame. It took Ashton several seconds to realize the man was nude and covered in tattoos. The tattoos rang a bell, and he realized he was looking at Dakota, model/actor, Maisie's nephew, and a server at Anne Marie's. Dakota was a dark, brooding pretty boy with a perfect pink pout and tousled dark curls that he was always brushing out of his eyes. He was great at his job, but other than that he'd made no impression on Ashton, until now. Ashton watched the younger man on his knees in front of Hima as he sucked on her bright pink cock. What the fuck is happening?

Ashton blinked at his screen, still processing everything when Dakota stood up and bent over the table. Hima lined up behind him and thrust her hips against his ass. Ashton gulped for air and felt beads of sweat break out on his upper lip. He watched for a minute, hypnotized by Dakota writhing in pleasure, his black curls bouncing with every stroke, shoulders hunching over as he gripped the table. Ashton's mind flashed to Calum and what it would look like to have him bent over like that. He realized his dick was getting hard and quickly closed the app, feeling embarrassed for invading her privacy. He fumbled getting his phone into his pocket and accidentally skipped to the next song. "Anytime, Any Place," by Janet Jackson filled the room.  He laughed to himself at the sexy song and took another sip of wine. 

****

Calum squeezed himself through his clothes. He vaguely remembered Finn telling him Ashton was rumored to have a massive cock. He groaned at the thought of Ashton's hazel eyes looking down at him while he was on his knees. He imagined Ashton's cock brushing against his lips, teasing both of them. Calum groaned and gave up any pretense of trying to work. He stood up too quickly and knocked his chair over causing Brutus to wake from a dead sleep and start barking his head off. 

"It's ok, boy," Calum assured him, making sure he laid back down before going into his bedroom and shutting the door. Moments later he was stripped down to his boxers and shirt digging through his top dresser drawer until he found the small bag hiding under his socks. He pulled a bottle of lube and a small silicone sleeve out of the bag and walked back to the bed. He peeled off his shirt, kicked off his underwear and laid on his back on the bed. His cock was flat against his stomach, and as Calum reached for it he wondered what Ashton was doing right now.

****

Ashton felt the plug slip into his ass and shivered at the chill of the stainless steel. He wiped his hands off on a towel and walked out of the bathroom into his bedroom. The music was still playing. Janet's silky smooth voice gave way to Beyonce’s sultry vocals

Baby put your arms around me

Tell me I'm a problem

He walked back into his bedroom, feeling delicious shivers from the pressure on his prostate as he moved. The city lights illuminated the room from the open blinds on the balcony. 

Stop acting so scared, just do what I tell

First go through my legs, go back on your head

And whatever you want, yeah baby I'll bet it comes true

He reached down and squeezed his dick, rubbing his thumb over the tip down to the sensitive underside of the ridge. Pulling the shaft down and away from his body, pushing almost to the point of pain before easing up and giving it a nice slow stroke. He repeated the motion, each time pulling a little harder, edging a little closer to making it hurt, each time when he pulled back the relief was more intense. His fantasies were new visions: dark eyes and black curls still coming into focus in his mind's eye. He squeezed his muscles around the plug as he tapped the remote on the table next to him. The plug began to vibrate on the lowest speed and Ashton hissed at the sensation. He wondered if he'd let Calum fuck him.  Ashton didn't bottom very often. Luke didn't like to do the work, rarely agreed to switch up and whined whenever he did.  Calum looked like he could give as well as he got. 

***

Calum grunted as he pushed his cock, slick and shiny with lube, into the sleeve. His hips jerked upwards into the air as the countless smooth nubby fingers lining the inside of the toy closed around his swollen shaft, gripping and massaging the taut skin with every stroke. He screwed his eyes shut picturing Ashton on his back with his knees pulled up to his chest as he begged for him. Calum bit his lip to stifle a moan, slowing down his speed, not wanting to cum too fast. Hima told him Ashton called himself a “bendy boy” and had a strict yoga routine which just sent Calum's mind spinning, picturing trying different positions until Ashton was screaming for him. Calum moved his hand away, leaving the toy. The scenario in his mind began to switch up. The only thing Calum could think of hotter than fucking Ashton was getting railed by his massive cock. 

****

The combed cotton, high-thread-count pillowcase felt velvety soft and air-conditioned chilled when he bunched the pillow in his fists as he thrust his hips, burying his shaft in the soft folds. It felt amazing but was cold comfort when he was craving Calum's body heat. He turned the remote up a notch and adjusted the settings; a pulse pattern began throbbing against his core. He squeezed down on his dick even harder. He could feel the delicate feathers snapping under his fingers, but he didn't care. Ashton ached for release, longing to have Calum in his bed tonight. Every nerve in his body seemed to come alive as his orgasm began to build. His hips pumped faster trying to match the pulsing rhythm inside him. He wanted Calum, with a craving he’d never felt before. Something in those dark eyes challenged Ashton. There was something about this mysterious reporter that he needed to discover. He was getting closer with every stroke, the fantasy switching to pounding Calum into the mattress, seeing how well he could throw it back. The image was too much and he shuddered, cursing out loud as his climax hit. His hips stuttered and his legs wobbled, forcing him to his knees. The vibrator extended his orgasm, milking him drop by drop as he whimpered and fumbled for the remote. When he finally turned it off, he rolled onto his back and tried to catch his breath, thankful he'd bought a nice fluffy rug to put next to his bed. .  

****

Calum flipped over onto his stomach, grinding down with his hips, the sleeve moving with the friction. He wondered if Ashton was vanilla or if he could get into Calum's slight pain kink. He'd looked for Ashton on FetLife to no avail, but he was fairly sure he'd found Hima so that was a surprise. Calum reached up and tugged his nipple hard as his hips rocked slowly. There was a power to Ashton. He had a dominant side which Calum had clearly seen in his dynamic with Luke, despite Ashton being smaller in size. Calum wanted to see how he'd take charge because he wasn't soft like Luke, but he had no doubt Ashton could handle him. Calum raised himself up on his forearms, pumping his hips furiously. He thought about those arms wrapped around his neck, his teeth grazing Ashton's blood moon tattoos as he bent Cal over and took him hard and fast. He whimpered, biting the pillow, his rhythm starting to stutter as he thought about Ashton looking up at him, eyes wide with Calum's hand at his throat as they reached their high together. Calum was just at the edge when he quickly rolled over, removing the toy and ruining his orgasm. He gasped, his whole body shaking as his release spilled onto his belly. After a moment he reached down, using the sleeve to tease the tip through the aftershocks until it became too sensitive to touch. He was hungry again, so he grabbed a Kleenex and wiped himself off as best he could before walking, still naked, back through his house to turn on the oven. Pizza was always a good snack after sex, and he had an article to work on.

@sublimehood​​ @tea4sykes​​ @be-ready-when-i-say-go​ @scribblesos​​ @kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995​​ @wildmichaelflower​​ @castaway-cashton​​ @damselindistressanu​​ @notinthesameguey​​ @cashtonasfuck​ @irwinkitten​ @mermaidcashton​​ @malumsmermaid​​

#calum hood #ashton irwin #cashton #cashton smut #calum hood imagine #calum hood smut #ashton irwin smut #cashton slash #5sos #5sos smut

[kaiowut99]

5D's Episode 27... with an “Uncut” Dub?! (Re-Edited 4Kids Dub/Japanese OST - Revised)

“A World Without Light -- The Dark Synchro Frozen Fitzgerald!”/”A Web of Deceit (Part 1)″

Everybody listen!

Took long enough to finish up and polish (partly because of work and activism life actually picking up a bit), but here’s a brand-new “dub-uncut” episode! With my first few takes in episodes 23-26 newly revised, I was looking forward to working on 27 and starting fresh again, lol. In case this is the first you’re hearing about my mini-project here, let’s get you up to speed:

So, the official Spanish YGO channel on YouTube flubbed a few uploads of the 5D’s dub such that they ended up uploading a few episodes of the English dub instead of the Latin American dub (21-29)–but with none of 4Kids’s background music! Which meant that I could swoop in and re-insert the original Japanese soundtrack (which I did by matching each track to how it was looped in the episode), but I wanted to do more by also tweaking the dub itself so that not only was it matching the original footage, but the dialogue was more in line with the original dialogue timing-wise (since I couldn’t salvage much of what they changed).  Hence, the “dubbed uncut” gimmick here.  To this end, I’ve also used dialogue from Duel Links where applicable, or even borrowed audio from other episodes with the vocals isolated to lend to that effect.

Check out the masterpost of episodes I’ve done here!

Check out this episode’s WIP videos! WIP #1     WIP #2     WIP #3   WIP #4   WIP #5

So, this one was fun to do particularly because overall, save for the, er... butchering that happened on explaining the Dark Synchro mechanic (4Kids wut) and the rewrite of Carly’s interaction with her Editor-in-Chief (and making Carly a “blogger” lol), the dialogue was already more or less in line with the Japanese version, which meant that I was more or less just removing a lot of the fluff as I added back the OST.  As I did in 22, 24, and 26, I added subs for the scenes where 4Kids rewrote things a bit too much for my taste (so, the scenes I mentioned above, but also the occasional line or a few), but of course these subs will be optional in the MKV I release on NAC for this.  I also added back some SFX and tried to remove the dub’s replacement SFX in most cases, though I had to swap out the SFX as Speed Warrior was tuning with Junk Synchron since 4Kids had a tendency to add some new one over the original SFX and made it too loud to work with the Yusei chant I put there.  And I translated the OP/ED credits in Last Train and CROSS GAME, revamping my singable lyrics a bit for Last Train while drafting new ones for CROSS GAME which I’ll post soon; you can see my Last Train translation in the second WIP video and CROSS GAME’s here. Full process breakdown below the cut.

Also, major thanks to yugidmx5 for providing A+ rips of the “The Day Begins/Tenpei” theme in the Carly/Angela scene, the “Vision of Tragedy” theme as Yusei and Ruka talk about the Satellite’s future, and the alternate “Dark Signers” tune which plays as we first see them and then again between the Dark Signer drones recruiting and Yusei chasing Dark-Signer!Dick down (before it transitions to the OST-released version once Yusei gets to the building under construction); I know that since these came out well, he’s working on better rips for some or most of the unreleased OST, so stay tuned there (I also drafted up a full version of the alternate DS theme, but had to get creative since they didn’t play all of it in this alternate style; will post soon).  And thanks to Tiny Spider Productions, who provided the “shock” SFX playing as Carly sees Yusei’s arm actually glowing in her car, some inspo here/there for dialogue fixes, and provided CurtisH from CastingCallClub’s recording he did voicing a line from Tanner translating the original line about the four Signers they know which 4Kids cut short.

I hope folks enjoy! Just breezing through 28 often for lines to use here, I can tell it’s going to be a headache because they did throw in a lot more jankiness in the dialogue... So, fun. 🙃 Once I handle finalizing my subs for GX 56 (and possibly 57 due to how long this took), I’ll start drafting it out; stay tuned~ 

(And if you're able to reblog for visibility, it’d be appreciated given Tumblr’s suckage with links 🙏🏽)

Breakdown, breakdown~

So, I used Duel Links audio for the twins to handle the Noteworthy/Showcased Cards bit (we’ll see if I still can in 28... And as the twins are voiced by Eileen Stevens in Duel Links but not yet in 5D’s [that happens in 65], bear with me lol), and I also translated the sign for this hardsub in Photoshop, masking in the Fitzgerald card and Rua and Ruka’s heads over it in Sony Vegas.  

Moving to the episode proper, a second was trimmed from the shot of the stadium in the TV Rally/co are using once it tunes in, and I couldn’t properly loop the “Yusei!” shouts to cover it, so I just filled in the audio with the crowd just cheering.  In the Carly/Angela scene, I removed Angela’s extra lines about her makeup and hair while Carly was getting ready, then tweaked Angela’s line on camera to remove her last name (which we never learn originally) and move her lines about “Fusei Yudo” winning to play sooner while removing Carly’s “one journalist to another” as she walks up to correct her (as this scene was rewritten, there are subs to show the original dialogue).  Looped chants of “Yusei!” to remove his internal “pointing out the obvious” monologue before the OP.

After the OP, I used the JP audio to keep the doctors moving Jack quiet (hopefully you don’t notice the chants changing lol), then as Yanagi runs over, I replaced his bit about Yusei having “a brand new enemy” in the media with “we should all get going” from 26.  The Godwin/Lazar scene stays the same since it was accurate, but I did have to put the end of Rex’s “that’s the only thing that matters” line on another track so Lazar’s gasp would play when it should (they added a second to his talking in the dub).  The Yusei/co scene in the tunnel stays mostly the same, just switched to the JP audio as the flashback to the Satellite vision happened, then as Yusei had a quick one before gasping, I recycled a gasp and a “hmm” from elsewhere to cover the commercial-inducing monologue they gave him in the dub.  For the press conference scene, I thought about removing the one “That’s right, Ted” reporter’s line since he’s quiet originally, but thought “whatever,” and then I spaced out Carly’s line as she reads her fortune to match her Japanese line’s pace and remove some of the fluff.  I switched to the JP audio after Carly asked about Yusei’s arm glowing to remove Rex’s comment over it, then stitched up a “Perhaps; still, I didn’t see that” mixing his line there with a “still” from 23.  Carly’s line as she’s excited about Goodwin dodging her question (originally just “I’ll keep moving forward too!” [she references her fortune a lot more]) was longer in the dub, so I cut out the “which means I’m onto something” for use later.  For Carly’s chat with her Editor-in-Chief, I included subs because of the rewrite, but I did shorten Carly’s line just before “bring some dirt and you might still have a job” which was lengthened by 4Kids.  Removed a lot of Carly’s fluff as she began to watch the Yusei duel footage via the JP audio, then stitched together “Goodwin tried to give me that bit but [the whole world will know what Goodwin’s trying to hide]”, the latter bit coming from Carly’s monologue as she’s running at the end of the ep, then switched to the JP audio to remove Carly’s fluff about living in her car.  Then, as we see the Dark Signers looming, because 4Kids removed the commercial break here, I kept only Demak and Kalin’s chuckling and Roman’s “lower the curtains” line over the desk shot, then looped some of his laughing from after the eyecatch to lead into it.

After the eyecatch, I made use of his “Goodwin assembled his Signers” bit, recycled a little chuckling, then cut Roman’s reference to Shakespeare to just the “tangled web” line (thanks to yugidmx5 also providing the SFX for this scene, I was able to move Roman’s laughing to play where it should after he releases his spiders).  Moving to Yanagi drawing the Crimson Dragon, I only kept his “saw it the once” line while using Japanese Rua and Ruka’s interested gasps to fill a fluff gap, then combined two bits of audio to get a [slightly] awkward “t[ail]” to fix 4Kids’s dumb error claiming he had the Head birthmark; accordingly, made Leo say “What about it?” instead of “What about the Head?”.  CurtisH’s line for Tanner comes in here, with a slight tweak or two to match the lip-flaps more, then JP audio as we see all the Signers so far to remove Leo’s dialogue.  Meanwhile, for Jack’s hospital scene, I translated the “No Visitors” sign Mikage walks past (along with fixing “Atlus” to “Atlas”).  The Dark Signer recruitment scene also gets some subs, then I used the JP audio from when we see Dark Signer!Dick walking to Yusei’s birthmark beginning to glow; yugidmx5 providing the SFX was a big help here, too.  Yusei runs out to chase Dick down, and then when he sees him inside the under-construction building, I took “Who are you” from later in the episode, but added a more question-ending “u?” to flesh the sound out a bit (since the line was “Who are you and what’s going on”).  I took “Fine, then” and “What are you planning to do to the Satellite” from 28 (which I’ll likely cut as it was added offscreen dialogue), and TSP provided a vocal-isolated cut of Dick’s line about his master (because 4Kids cut his shot short by a second or two and played it as the SFX for the zoomout as his Disk activated played).  

They begin the duel, and here I just kept “What’s going on?” from the line I noted earlier, recycled some laughing from Dick to match the JP script, then shortened his line about their being offered up “by the light” to work with the new timing.  Dick begins his turn, but I recycled an “It’s my turn now” line from later for accuracy, then his setting-a-card line is cut short at his ending his turn as Yusei looks on.  Carly, driving nearby and seeing lights from the duel off in the distance, gets her reference to the Goodwin “sheen from Yusei’s Runner got in your eye” line that I cut replaced with the “I’m onto something” I noted before.  Yusei gets a recycled “It’s my move!” line from 24 to start his turn, tweaked to remove the drawing SFX that happens in it, then to remove a dub SFX I used a Duel Links line to fill out “I activate the Tuning [Spell Card]”.  “I summon Junk Synchron” comes from 24 (and “Level-2-or-below Monster from my Graveyard” comes from his Graceful Revival explanation in episode 3), then--thanks to Arian over on NAC reuploading some HQ dub episodes--a better-quality vocal rip of his “Level-3 Junk Synchron, tune with Level-2 Speed Warrior!” line from 87, along with a better-quality rip of his “From two come one” chant and “Form the road of light!” from Duel Links.  Yusei shouts “Battle!” from Duel Links, then I slowed down his line at “[Attack his Blizzard Li]zard” to end it there (and remove the “warm Satellite welcome” fluff).  As Blizzard Lizard’s effect activates, I combined an “I activate,” “Blizzard Lizard’s special ability,” and “now” for a better line than “Blizzard Lizard’s special ability is going on.” Yusei’s lines after being damaged and realizing he damaged Dick too are spaced out to match the JP script, then I borrowed Yusei’s line on setting two cards from episode 3.  Then, when Dick plays Ice Mirror, I stitched up an explanation (since the Card Interruption does it for him) combining Call of the Haunted’s explanation with a few other pieces of dialogue (thanks to TSP for the inspo).  I cut Dick’s “Now I’ll play” line there to remove the dub’s zooming-in SFX, and then made Dick’s line about his third Blizzard Lizard end right before the split-screen with all three of them to remove the dub’s split-screen SFX.  I thought about replacing Yusei’s “three’s a crowd” line with “What’s that all about” from later, but couldn’t figure out a way to fill the line in before that, so I left it, but didn’t let Dick acknowledge it by just recycling “With that done” to replace “Well, how about [I release]”, then after Yusei reacts to his Dark Tuner, I recycled some chuckling to match the JP script and trimmed his line about its “power to extinguish;” the Dark Synchro “explanation” gets some subs to actually explain it, then I looped Carly’s panting as she runs to cover the “Goodwin’s trying to hide” line I moved to earlier, and recycled/amplified Dick’s laughing at various points through the ep to remove Yusei’s episode-ending monologue.

In the preview, I just recycled Yusei’s “No way...” and “A Dark Synchro Summon?!” while borrowing Carly’s lines about the Dark Tuner from 28, then Yusei’s line about getting his answers to end it.  I had to speed up the OST version of the preview tune to match the pace here, then trimmed it and ended it with the JP audio for the quick fade-out.

/phew

#yugioh #yugioh 5d's #yugioh 5ds #ygo #ygo 5ds #ygo 5d's #5D's #yu-gi-oh 5ds #yu-gi-oh 5d's #my work #5ds dub uncuts #woot glad this is finally done #now to finish up that edit for GX 56 and then get to working on the script~

[chaoticgoodnoodles]

[WP] depending on which day of the year you are born on, you are ‘super’ gifted at a certain skill; whether it be gymnastics, music, carpentry etc.. You are the first person to be born on a leap day in over 400 years and have yet to discover your special talent

I cracked open a crusty eyelid to see a cupcake on my bedside stool, backlit the red glow of my alarm clock. 6:43AM. ((What on earth am I doing awake at this hour on my...RIGHT. Cupcake. I’m 16 today.))  My phone suddenly glowed with a new message. Squinting, I saw it was Mel. Groaning internally from my body’s indecision over sleeping more or getting up, I thanked her good wishes over text. Not that good wishes would give me the power to neglect sleep completely, like Mel did. Or any super power for that matter. Everyone born after WW3 had special talents, and most people discover their gifts in preschool. I supposed mine was just being disturbingly normal in an abnormal world. Shrugging, I pinched off the 2 ants on my cupcake and read the accompanying post-it note from my baby sister. “Happy 4th Birthday, Euphie! Here’s hoping that you find your talent this year. Sorry I couldn’t say this in person; gotta go save a ship. See ya after school.” Appropriately named Cassandra, my sister used her talent in predicting catastrophic weather to work with the local metrological station and coast guard. It meant a very handsome amount of spending money for a 13 year old. As for me, I had a much humbler side-gig reviewing Young Adult novels and TV series for the local entertainment mag.

Fully awake, I opted to just get up. I could be prettily normal for a change, I thought. So, I slapped on a sheet mask, and creaked down the stairs with my cupcake for a glass of milk. I shut the fridge door in time to hear the morning papers land on the porch.

I picked up the paper and strolled back in. Settling down to demolish the cupcake, I scanned the headlines absently. Blink.

Pollstoopen5thMay.IvankatoRun.ManufacturingSectorSees3.4%GrowthinQ1. NewSundaeSurfBurgeratShakeShack.AntiVaxxersBillPassesInNebraska.ChineseAmbassadorAccusedofBeingResponsibleinPandagateIncident... Blink. As the seemingly neverending torrent of information ended with the scores for yesterday’s local junior league football match, I found myself trembling as my hand lay on the prestine and unflipped newspaper. I stared into the empty kitchen as my racing heart slowed down back to reality. Abandoning my cupcake, I ran for the unopened parcel from my junior editor at the mag. Ripping it open, out spilled a bunch of new sealed paperbacks that were due to hit the shelves next month.

Taking a deep breath, I grabbed one and focused. MeganMetAZombieBoyAtTheIceSkatingRinkNamedGus.SheCheatsOnHerSweetheartAndGetsKnockedUpWithAnUndeadChild.SheDiscoversThatSheCan’tKillAnUndeadFetus,AndWillDieCarrying.... Clutching my head, I tossed the book aside, unsure if it was the bad plot or the rapid intake of information that gave me a headache. Then the horrible reality sank in. ((Is my talent leaping to conclusions?))

#wp #writing prompt #writingprompt

[sloppy-little-witch-bitch26]

My Dirty Little Secret Part 4

Warnings: Swearing, angst, drama

This chapter is quite short, the next chapter is more full on, Previous chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, 

Thank you so so so soooo much for all the love I've received for this series! I love you babes! 

Summary: You’re happy with your boyfriend Duncan Shepherd, until certain events and people start to get in the way…

“And if you could also add something about how they pay off ex-employees so they keep quiet about their dealings”

“Mom”

“They think they’re going to tarnish my campaign?! Well they can think again, no one messes with the Underwood’s”

“Mom!”

“You need to be one step ahead of them, I’ll arrange for a meeting, you and their previous Head of Operations...”

“MOM! Seriously, will you stop! I came by to say hello, not to take part in a he said, she said War you have going on with whoever” you said exasperated.

Your mother was such a handful. You completely understood being the president of the United States was a high profile job, but you always had boundaries. You never needed or wanted her help to get where you were and you weren’t the meddlesome type.

“Well I’m sorry for assuming my own daughter would help towards her mothers campaign” she said, albeit sarcastically.

You sighed, getting impatient with her attitude.

“I’ll see what I can dig up” you mumbled whilst rolling your eyes.

“Great. Now to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I can’t just stop by and say hello to my mother?” You questioned.

“I’m a busy woman, Y/N, you should’ve called” Ever the diplomat was your mom.

“Charming” You retorted.

“Watch your attitude, young lady”

Throwing her a petty smile, you gathered yourself ready to leave her office until she stopped you.

“Wait! How’s it going with Duncan?” She asked.

Not that she really cared.

After her and Annette barged into your apartment and almost caught you both going at it, and dealt with your post-coital blow up, she made it a habit to not enquire about your relationship.

“It’s good” you assured her.

“Don’t forget, we’ve been invited to the Shepherd Foundation Charity auction next weekend” she reminded you.

“Well aware of that mom, I am dating one of the Shepherds” you reminded her.

“Much to my dismay” she mumbled, trying to make it sound as if she said it under her breathe.

You just rolled your eyes again, too exhausted to get into another petty argument with her.

“The limo will pick you at 8, be ready”

“I’m not going with you, I’m going with Duncan” You stated.

“Change of plans” she admitted. “The limo will be picking you up at 8pm sharp and we will arrive together. I expect you to be ready” She told you, so matter of factly.

With no energy to argue, you grabbed your things and made your way out of her office.

“I’ll see you then dear” she said aloud, knowing full well you weren’t paying her any mind.

“Sure, bye mom” you said as you were already half way out the door.

You’d arrived back to your office with yet another headache. Courtesy of your mother no doubt.

“Sooo, how’s it all going in the glamorous life of Miss Underwood?” Came the sing song voice of your Editor, Matthew.

“Hey Matt” you laughed.

“You know as well as I do my life isn’t glamorous”

“Except you’re the daughter of the president, and dating that hunk of man, Duncan Shepherd” he replied theatrically.

You rolled your eyes playfully at him as you gathered yourself to work on one of your articles.

“Any more news on the embezzlement scandal? I want to get that out by tomorrow at the latest before any other outlets do” You told him, technically he was your assistant yet he seemed more involved assisting in your life rather than work.

“Other than what you got the other day from Mr Johnson, we’ve had no other leads. According to him he was promised immunity if he gave up his other clients”

“No new leads then” you murmured

“None as of yet. They did hire an Admin girl for their office who they then tried to use as an undercover ploy but she’s disappeared apparently”

“Disappeared as in ‘sleeping with the fishes’ disappeared or what?” You asked

“Disappeared as in ‘didn’t want anything to do with it’. No conspiracy theory, no underground mafioso murder. She was only an Admin Assistant” Matthew replied as if he thought you were insane for suggesting anything else

You just nodded at his response and went back to typing.

“Soo, can we expect Mr tall dark and handsome to accompany you at the awards event next month?” Matt pried.

“Mmm” You murmured. Not really in the mood to partake in gossip.

“And are you attending the Shepherd Foundation Charity Gala next week”

“I am” You replied

“Do you need a date?” Matthew asked, hopeful.

“I don’t but I can get you an invite”

“I love you, so what are we wearing?”

“I don’t really have time to discuss this right now, Matt”

“Fineee, well then how about we grab a drink after work?” He asked you.

“Okay, I’ll meet you downstairs” You told him, hoping he’d finally leave you alone to get some work done.

This article was taking its toll and there’s still gaps missing that you couldn’t seem to fill.

There was only one person you could think of that would be able to help you with this.

Grabbing your phone, you quickly dialled Duncan’s number.

“Hello, Mr Shepherd’s office, how may I help “

Well that threw you.

“Is there any particular reason as to why you are answering my boyfriend’s phone?”

“Y/N wasn’t it? It’s Tiffany. Duncan is in a meeting, I have diverted his calls so he doesn’t get distracted. Would you like me to let him know you called?” Her faux posh voice was really starting to grate on your nerves.

You scoffed at her tone although not loud enough for her to hear.

“If you could let him know it’s urgent” you ordered.

You weren’t a rude person but this woman set you on edge, you didn’t trust her.

“Of course, Miss Underwood, ta-ta” and then you heard the click.

Sighing, you got back to your article. You couldn’t let your anger get you since you were on a deadline.

*****

Duncan’s POV:

“Who was that?” Duncan asked his secretary as he walked into his office

“Oh no one, just another reporter asking for an interview with you, I told them you were busy” she smiled at him.

“Thanks, I need you to do me a favor. I’ve placed an order with the florist on Wisconsin Ave, can you go and pay for them and make sure they get delivered?” He asked

“Where would you like them delivered?” Tiffany asked, all the while keeping that smile on her face.

“Miller & Wilson Media Group. Make sure they include the name tag for Y/N” He replied while going through a stack of papers on his desk.

“Hmph, flowers for the lady huh? Making up for something are we?” She asked, trying to not sound like she was prying into his love life.

“Not that it’s any of your business but no, just do as I asked” he ordered as he walked out of his office.

“Yes Mr Shepherd” She agreed. She needed to tread carefully if she was going to pull this off.

From the moment she was assigned as his secretary, she knew he would be a tough man to crack. She thought she had finally broken through his tough demeanor yesterday convincing him to allow her to tag along to his business lunch however this morning, he was back to his stone cold, business like persona.

Grabbing the phone, she quickly dialed the florist he had placed the order with.

“Hello, yes this is Alice Coleman, I’m just calling regards the order placed by Mr Duncan Shepherd for YN Underwood at Miller & Wilson Media Group?”

“Yes, those are the ones; there has been a mix-up, see this order was meant for someone else. If you could please change the name on the card? Mr Shepherd has asked for the name to be changed for the attention of Miss Tiffany Turner? Thank you for your help”

Smirking to herself as she hung up the phone.

If she couldn’t get a hold of Duncan’s attention, she was going to make sure it was diverted away from anyone else. One way or another.

@kellysimagines, @tickled--pinkmoodpoisoning, @alexcornerblog, @cotomandra, @frucienlover, @michael-langdon-appreciation, @avesatanormalpeoplescareme, @ccodyfern, @sojournmichael, @gelukstraan, @stupidocupido, @petersfern-fics, @confettucini, @queencocoakimmie, @queenie435, @langdonalien, @sweetlangdon, @dunc-donut, @lovelykhaleesiii, @sassylangdon, @sassyhollandx, @holylangdon, @sodanova, @master-langdon, @1-800-bitchcraft, @langdons-rep, @miss-diamonds, @kaigitana, @athiestangel

#duncan shepherd #house of cards #Cody fern #fanfiction #fan fiction #duncan shepherd drabble #duncan shepherd imagine #duncan shepherd one shot #house of cards fan fiction #duncan shepherd x reader #duncan shepherd smut #duncan shepherd series #michael langdon one shot #michael langdon fan fiction #Michael Langdon fanfic #michael langdon #michael langdon smut #michael langdon imagine #michael langdon drabble #ahs #ahs apocalypse

[clariverse]

Writer In Motion: Week Four

Yesterday I got my feedback from the Editor Jeni Chappelle, which means my little Writer In Motion story is ready for its final draft.

I talked in my last week’s post about positive feedback and accepting it, so today I’ll only sum up the comments as I understood them and get right on with the final draft itself.

As always, if you’d like to skip the talk and get to the story, click here.

What I heard (read) Jeni say, and some of my thoughts:

The opening works: it’s got sense of setting along with moving the plot, plus nice imagery

Some phrasing conflicts with the fairytale-y tone of the story, and/or is vague and bordering on too flowery. I found just cutting these was the best course of action.

The #s as scene separators get a bit jarring when there’s so many in such a short piece

This sentence—On the eve of the equinox, the Spirit fell from her skies by the wish of a lonely child, and concocted a plan to trick her.—could use some more explanation. This is a big one, and one that gave me a bit of a headache. The plan itself is explained in the rest of the story, and I didn’t want to clutter this opening by infodumping that—but the rest, in my mind, just is. So I cheated a bit and sought consult with my writerly friends, and they suggested it was the “tricking her” part that needed clarity—which I can definitely see now that it’s been pointed out, and I hope addressing that helps some of the confusion.

I could cut and tweak some phrasings to lower the wordcount. A couple of these suggestions, I think, are style preferences I’m not too keen on changing, BUT a vast majority had me going “oh, duh” in mild embarrassment. It’s a good thing, though; gives me more words to use elsewhere as needed!

On the note of adding things and elaborating, this sentence—It was the birthday of the giants’ matriarch, an evening festive and alive with colour, and the Spirit feared.—feels incomplete

The styling of italics for dialogue in the past story, while using regular quotes for it in the present story, doesn’t work. I wish, I wish I got more on this. It’s something a CP pointed out last week as well—not seeing the point of it—so I really am seeing it as a thing to address.. This was my second little headache, and at the time of writing this I’m sure of one thing: it’s a matter of consistency. I need to make it consistent. Whether that means making it all regular dialogue OR making it all italics… I’m not sure! There’s something about that italicising approach that I feel adds to the tone and atmosphere, and I think this is me convincing myself to just go with that. Call me whatever you will—it’s calling to me, and where better to experiment than in this story?

Overall it’s a good story, and the way I reveal information as well as emotional connection both work (she even went as far as to use the words “brilliant” and “impressed” respectively—and here I was, genuinely expecting to hear none of it works and none of it is good enough)

Receiving all this feedback, I was inspired to work on the final draft right away. There were a couple of things I definitely needed to think about (looking at you, dialogue formatting), but overall I was happy.

I must stress this: I really appreciate the fact that the comments came from a place genuinely aiming to improve this story, as opposed to aiming to change its core. It’s the approach that I believe distinguishes a good editor, and I’m very grateful for it.

Here’s what came out of it all: the final draft.

Sometimes Our Skies

The Giant climbs the mountain one narrow stair at a time, carrying in her arms a dying spirit of the skies. She pushes against the chilling wind and raindrops swirling before her face, her heart drumming the rhythm, almost there, almost there.

-

On the eve of the equinox, the Spirit fell from the skies by a lonely child’s wish for a companion, and to make way back home concocted a plan to trick her.

-

More-stairs-than-she-can-count up the mountain, the Giant pauses to look back, for the first time since she started the climb. Far below, the stairs disappear in the ocean of white, where islands of smaller mountaintops peek through the clouds and early snowflakes await to flutter upon the giants’ cities. Up ahead, the stairs lead into the quiet mist of further heights, to new, thinner clouds caught against the sharp peaks. She still has ways to go.

-

On their first night, the Spirit asked not for the child’s name, because she wouldn’t be staying long. On their first dawn, the child cried not to be alone, and the Spirit held her hand.

-

Step, step, step. The Giant hums a song, voice hoarse from the cold, a hymn to the adventurers designed to bring spring into one’s step and courage to one’s heart.

We’re almost there, she tells the bundle in her arms, ashen curls sticking out of the wraps of tawny fur.

The Spirit says nothing.

-

On the night of their first year, the Spirit remembered her plan. Make the child wish her back home; let that wish burn the child’s soul in place of the Spirit’s own, and leave her behind cold and still as the Spirit shines back up in her skies. Soon, she told herself.

But to the child she only said, I’m here.

And the child smiled.

-

The Giant reaches the top cold and tired. Her fingers might be blocks of stone, even shielded from the worst cold by the furs around the half-conscious spirit. There’s the tower, up ahead, almost there: on a pier of concrete between the worlds, a structure of metal rises up to meet the sky, built to withstand millennia by the giants of the old. The stories say they lived for hundreds, thousands of years.

The thought makes the Giant’s chest warm with excitement, even through the cold. Oh, how wonderful it would be, to live that long, to live forever. But perhaps so lonely, too.

-

On the last day of their fifteenth spring, the Spirit’s eyes fluttered closed. It was the birthday of the giants’ matriarch, an evening festive and alive with colour, and the Spirit feared: soon enough, she’ll have waited too long.

I am tired, she said.

The child who was growing up held her close, stroked her hair and whispered small poems into her ear, and said, Tell me what I can do.

And the Spirit didn’t even think of seizing her chance.

-

The Giant climbs the tower with the last of her strength. She now carries the Spirit in a makeshift sash across her chest, and if not for the scarf wrapped tight around her face, her lips would brush against the softest curls she’d ever touched.

Quietly, the Spirit stirs. She senses the closeness of her skies, of the home she already thought lost.

We’re almost there, the Giant coos.

I will miss you, the Spirit whimpers.

-

On the morning of summer solstice, when the child was a child no longer and the Spirit had paled to an ashen shade, she told of a plan long discarded and said, I will extinguish like stars before the morning sun. But I will not let you burn in my place.

On the morning of summer solstice, when the leaves on the trees were bright, the child who was no longer a child heard it was too late to wish, and instead declared, I will take you home.

-

The tower pierces the skies. It enters the realm of the spirits with a sharp peak, bright with snow and stardust, but the Giant doesn’t climb that far. She stops when the clouds swirl closer with the wind, the skies excited and concerned to meet their long-lost denizen.

She unwraps the furs and kisses the Spirit’s forehead. And she says to the wind and the cold and the heights, She’s going to be all right.

The winds take hold of the Spirit’s pale curls. They tug at her sweater—the one the Giant made her, purple and blue and silver like the evening—and, finally, lift her up to where the heights chatter in voices of all the others, Welcome back home.

And it’s now, not when her knees had started hurting or the Spirit had been so silent in her arms, not when the elders of the city had warned her no one ever returned from the mountain, that the Giant cries.

She doesn’t speak, because she can’t find her voice. But she holds the Spirit’s hand, and for a moment it’s like holding a torch, like touching a star. The clouds light up with all the shades of autumn and fire, all the pinks of chilly dawns and golds of warm sunsets. And she puts in her touch all she needs to say, a fragile plea upon tear-stained memories: Don’t forget me.

She is ready to start her climb down, only hoping the cold and the exhaustion will catch up with her far enough for the Spirit not to have to witness it.

But the sky lights up again.

-

The Spirit reaches with a hand no longer so pale, lips stretched into a lopsided smile that sends the Giant’s chest fluttering. And as the wind calms and the voices of her family sing a quiet song of gratitude and welcome, the Spirit makes a wish of her own: Stay with me.

#writing #my writing #final draft #short story #writer in motion #violetvineyard #fantasy #writeblr #writers on tumblr #amwriting #ontheporch #wip #draft #original writing

[cielrouge]

Voltron Legendary Defender NYCC 18' Panel Recap

Ahhh okay here’s the recap post I promised! It took a little while to transcribe all the individual videos I had (I think almost 11 in the end? lol). So, normally I’m not a morning person at all, but as soon as I saw NYCC announce the Hammerstein panel and realizing this might very well be the last VLD panel ever, you can betcha that I got up at the crack of dawn to get my ass down to Hammerstein this morning pfftt. I got there around 9ish, and while there was already a line it moved fairly quickly after a quick bag check. Since I was by myself, I managed to get a pretty decent seat, actually much than I anticipated, located in the early middle-ish of the ground floor seating.

The panel began with the moderator (I forgot his name, sorry mod! D:) with introducing the cast and crew: Joaquim Dos Santos & Lauren Montgomery (Executive Producers), Josh Hamilton (Story Editor), and the VA’s for Allura (Kimberly Brooks), Pidge (Bex Taylor-Klaus), Shiro (Josh Keaton), and Lance (Jeremy Shada). Keith’s VA (Steven Yeun) didn’t make it, but I’m assuming maybe this was because he had prior commitments to promote BURNING at the New York Film Festival this weekend?

Joaquim and Lauren started off the panel regarding the Shiro and Adam storyline in S7, and some “understandably hurt reactions to it." Joaquim stated that they emphasize with everyone’s reactions and "really do feel for you,” while Lauren added: “so we clearly can’t change what’s already happened, but this experience has stirred conversation about what meaningful representation is, and we hope that this leads to better representation in the future.”

VLD Show Retrospective & General Fan Appreciation

 Lauren then changed gears to take a moment to say: "how proud we are of our crew who has worked so hard, and our amazing cast who has bought so much life to these characters over these past four years," and a "huge thank you to all of the fans who have just showered us with so much love and support."

Joaquin added that they wanted "our final New York Comic Con, really our final con of the entire series to be a celebration of everyone's hard work. And a really awesome look back at what came before this and an awesome look forward to our final season, of a show that we're so proud to be a part of, and had you guys along for the ride."

The moderator asked what it's been like throughout the years to get to this specific part (season 8) and Joaquim said: "It's amazing for us. It's grown every single year, you guys [the crowd] is the best. It's been an absolute honor working on the show."

Josh H. (VLD's Story Editor) also noted: "It's weird being in the office alone, maybe five of us writers in one room," and they question what will or will not work story-wise, but "then you come to Comic Con and people start to cheer because they love a moment so much."

 "It's so different when you're alone by yourself as a writer, and then when you're with an awesome crowd of people. It invigorates you."

 Josh K. (Shiro's VA) added that it's been amazing for him to meet and work with the cast, but specifically highlighted his appreciation for seeing all the "incredible talent that's been peppered throughout the fandom.

Specifically emphasizing how the cast and crew "see so many amazing cosplay, so much incredible art, videos, everything. You guys [the fans] really dove into this show and we love it. We're just as much fans as all of you, and we love sharing the show with all of you. It's been a fantastic experience and I'm sad it's coming to an end."

Jeremy (Lance's VA) chimed in: "You don't to be part of many shows like Voltron in your career, so it's been a blessing to be a part of this show. Everybody here puts in so much hard work into their craft and what they do, but you never know what's going to do well or not, and this show DEFINITELY did very, very well."  And this was because of the fans, particularly highlighting the passion and dedication, and how "it means the world to us."

 Jeremy then pointed out this was a crowd where there actually seemed to be more cosplayers than non-cosplayers, prompting Josh K. to note: "I love going to these cons and looking at everyone cosplaying, and pretending in my head that Voltron is real and now I'm at Space Mall."

 Bex (Pidge's VA) chimed in to say that she would make things a little more selfish since: "I've always wanted to play a cartoon character so this was very literally a dream come true for me." But not only to play a cartoon character, but to play a powerful female warrior."

Bex additionally noted how amazing how that's what's resonated most is "for young kids to see themselves in Pidge and Allura. It's just been the most heartwarming experience."

Kimberly (Allura's VA) then spoke to the experience among the cast and crew and how they've become good friends with one another, and how it's "bittersweet that this is our last convention, but it's been amazing."

Season 7 Retrospective (General Storytelling  Approach & the VA's Favorite Moments)

Josh H. started off that: "S7 was meant to be putting our paladins at a disadvantage."

 So the writers came up with the concept of a 3 year timeskip and "all these stories about going home, and Hunk with his family kind of sprung up naturally from that."

 "There's also a story about Allura. It's kinda subtle, but Allura lost Altea, and now she has a chance to redeem herself and help save Earth."

"A lot of these personal moments start to pop up when we got this new angle, so starting off with this 3 year time gap really helped us."

Joaquim noted it was cool seeing the fan buildup with getting the paladins back home to their families, and "knowing for us, from a story perspective that it was coming down the line, and seeing everything get to that fever pitch point. It was a really great payoff to see it all play out."

Lauren switched gears to comment on the "insane logistics" of the whole big Galra attack at the end. They had some initial trouble figuring out how the Zaiforge cannons were supposed to work.

 Josh H. chimed in to note that Joaquim kept coming to the writers room to say that something needed to be different about this Galra attack, so he and Mitch Iverson would kind of go on walks and try to figure out how the Zaiforge cannons worked.

While Lauren noted that the logistics was a "massive headache, they were still pretty happy with how it turned out since "it was pretty suspenseful, never a dull moment."

 Josh H. added that plot-wise, he liked how the storytelling perspective got to stay on Earth. "We knew that there were going to be seven, Earth-centric episodes," so that gave a lot of time to "meet some new people and come up with MFE pilots."

The writers really enjoyed cracking who the MFE pilots were individually, particularly with the way that Leifsdottir thinks and speaks, so "having this time to stay in one place and time was really fun."

Jeremy noted that they were really happy to have AJ LoCascio (Lotor's VA) still stick around and voice James Griffin in S7.

Joaquim mentioned that for a show of this nature, with all the focus on action-adventure and big explosions and giant robots, it was unusual to "take two episodes and just focus on the logistics on what's going back on Earth while madness is happening. Essentially you had all these meetings going on for what's ostensibly a kid's show."

 In terms of trying to find a fine balance between the Earth storyline and Paladin storyline, Lauren and Jaoquim did wonder whether they could spend that much time on Earth without "seeing Voltron punch something" (ROFL) but they knew it was the right decision as they were reading the scripts when they came in, and it just felt right, and "that's ultimately been a testament to the show. Just going with your gut."

Favorite, Standout Moments of Season 7

 Bex noted that her favorite episodes of S7 were the Earth-centric ones where "we got to experience what was happening on Earth while we [the paladins] were gone. It was everything I got to see and nothing I got to see in the scripts since we weren't there."

 Kimberly noted that the Hunk love was amazing, since he's so "lovable, and we got to see where he was inspired to cook and do all the things that he does, and why he's such a cool guy."

Josh K. added that Hunk really proved himself as the heart of the team.

Jeremy noted that the VA's knew that the Atlas was going to be a thing through the scripts, but they weren't aware of what it actually looked like beforehand.

 Bex humorously chimed in to offer that "Atlas is thiccc. I needs that workout routine, okay?" (omfg)

Jeremy agreed that it has a "nice big booty. It's a thick robot." (And at that point, everyone in the audience started wheezing, shrieking, or cackling).

Josh K. added that the day the episode aired, there was a group chat among the VA's where someone just texted "Atlas is thiccc" and Bex admitted that she had this saved to her Tweetdeck for a longgg time.

 Josh K. admitted that while he's probably biased, this was still his favorite episode, since Josh wanted Shiro to have everything that he deserves, and he loved how "everything was falling apart and everyone was looking for Shiro to lead."

And in terms of the words and the stage direction, Josh remembered just even reading the script just made him swell up with pride for Shiro and think: "This is amazing. Everybody that didn't believe him in the Garrison came back, those that strapped him to a gunnery, and didn't want to listen to him about Voltron is now looking at him to save them."

Bex added the part where Coran calls Shiro 'Captain' for the first time was one of those moments.

And when Shiro finally makes that connection and is able to transform the ship, Josh knew that while this moment was going to happen, he still had no idea how the Atlas transformation was going to look like beforehand.

Josh fondly recalled that he was hoping to see his wife's reaction to the Atlas transformation for the first time, but he missed her whole reaction since he himself couldn't take his eyes off the scene.

Entire Show Retrospective: Favorite Moments and Why

Jeremy’s Pick (Lance and Keith rescuing Shiro in ep 1): "It's special to me, because I think this may have been one of my audition scenes, but it was really one of the  first scenes where you get to see Lance's personality and I love these little moments where he's just very kinda funny and such a goofball, but he still has this goal and is a loyal person. So, when we were recording this scene, I thought: 'Ok I get the character now and this sets the tone for what I wanna do with his character."

Bex’s Pick (Pidge confessing her true identity as a girl): "I love this part. This was something that was in the very beginning not in the audition side, but the character breakdown of Pidge's masquerade as a boy in order to find her family. And who doesn't want to play Mulan? So, it was something that I was waiting for and I remember going back and forth on whether this scene was going to happen in episode 4 or 7. It was really exciting when we got to that part of the script and how we were doing this, and I loved how easy it is."

Josh K's Pick (Shiro rescues Slav): "The thing we know about Shiro, at least in the beginning, is that it seems like there's nothing wrong with him. He seems perfect, he can do no wrong, he's a nice guy, and can kick butt. So sometimes you think, 'can he do no wrong? What's his deal?' and in S2, Shiro meets somebody named Slav and it's once meeting Slav, you start to see that Shiro is not completely perfect. Shiro can get upset, and there definitely is a crack in that paladin armor.”

Josh H's Pick (The 'Slipperies' Scene): "Tim Hendrick came up with the concept of the slipperies as Coran sweating too much and slipping everywhere. Everytime I watch this scene I still legitimately laugh even though the script went through several rewrites."

Kimberly's Pick (Allura and Coran and the milkshake origin): "I think the clip is self-explanatory in terms of our reaction to it."

Lauren’s Pick (When the Paladins hoot fun-sentry into space): "So my clip isn't any moment in the series, but a moment that embodies what our crew does when it comes together, and everybody brings their own thing to it, so it culminates into something so much more."

How Much of the VA's are like their Actual Characters

Josh K. noted that back in 2014, he had just become an actual dad, so he made that weird transition from "living for yourself to having a life were you hold someone else's life in your hands.

”So, he drew a lot of Shiro's "dedication to his team from that feeling. That's really where it all came from.”

While he confesses to generally being more like Lance in real life, still with age and parenting, Josh admits that he's become more of that "space dad type of guy, having to wrangle kids and all that." 

Likewise, he's always liked telling bad dad jokes and now revels in still being able to tell them as an actual dad.  

Bex admits that for her, she feels that "Pidge is so powerful in her own way and so confident, which is so rare for someone so young." So, while Bex isn't sure if she's entirely become the Pidge that she wants to be, but she's getting there.

Kimberly notes that she strives to be like Allura (Jeremy interrupted to say that Kimberly is a queen and has gotten the queenly wave down). 

What Kimberly finds appealing about Allura is that she's a flawed character, but also beautiful, generous, smart, and strong - "these are all things I strive to be, and I feel like I'm becoming more and more like Allura as the show progresses." 

Kimberly also added that Allura is her favorite character that she's ever had the pleasure to voice. Even after recording many, many sessions, Kimberly still had no idea what Allura physically looked like, so the first time she was shown the character concept artwork, Kimberly was "so choked up and blown away," since she had no idea what her skin tone was going to be and so on.

Jeremy confesses that he kind of leans into Lance's personality in real life, but in a joking manner since he likes making people laugh. He finds Lance to be such a goofball and that 'adorkable' type of person, and "that's definitely me in real life, but Lance also has all that sensitive loyal side to him which I have and relate to as well." 

"He's fun to play, but while Lance tries hard to be very flirty at times, I'm not really like that way. Maybe with my girlfriend, I'll try to say flirty jokes and she'll just laugh and tell me to keep trying."

The Existence of the Voltron Scratch Reel

 Lauren explained the concept of a scratch reel where in between the storyboarding, animating, and voice acting process, sometimes they realize that they might need some additional lines, maybe lines get condensed, change names, and so on.  

But they don't always have time to get the actors back in, so "a lot of times, it falls upon one of us to put in some temporary dialogue and fill that space, they animate to it, and then we get the animation back and the actors replace the dialogue and it sounds great. But in the meantime, we get to watch some ridiculously horrible acting on behalf of the entire staff - editors, assistants, etc."

Bex noted: "It's always breaks my heart a little to dub over the scratch tracks, because it's so beautiful," while Josh added that he'd love to see an episode just entirely of scratch tracks."

Joaquim chimed in that they had two seasons of the 'Scratchy Awards,' where they handed out staff awards for the best scratch tracks produced (hahaha), where Mitch Iverson spraypainted a bunch of backscratchers with 'Scratchy' Awards' on it.

 After they aired the scratch reel, Josh H. noted that there are still some times where scratch ends up being in-screen and it's an unexpected surprise when they're reviewing the editing process.

The most popular scratch reel choice among the VA's is Director Steve Ahn, who had a lot of the 'Ok, calm down' scratch scenes, and Steve Yeun once asked: "Could I get that as my ringtone?"  

Jeremy said his favorite parts of the scratch reel were when half the scene were the actual VA lines, and then it was one non-VA word.

 Benjamin Kaltenecker did all of the 'moo' sounds for Kaltenecker.

Josh K. noted that Joaquim voices a pretty decent Shiro, and "that's why you didn't see any scratch scenes of that because it's not bad."

Bex noted that she loved it when Lauren had to voice some of the Galra men for the scratch scenes.

 Lauren noted that most of the scratch scenes were recorded late at night and the cast & crew weren't really fighting to do a scratch scene, and "we're not usually fighting to voice a character, but it's more like 'who has to do it now? Who hasn't done it in awhile??’

“While we're in shame of our bad acting...poor Rhys [Coran's VA] had to sit through and be insulted since nobody can actually pull off Coran's accent.” Though, Joaquim pointed out that Jeremy does a decent Coran impression which he then demonstrated for the crowd.

Joaquim added: "The hardest thing to do is to record scratch in the booth and it's played back to the actual VA's and we can't hear them because their mics are off, but they're pantomiming the loudest laughter."

Kimberly reassured that the VA's loved hearing the crew's voices for the scratch reel.

Josh K. added that "it's like hearing your friends do an impression of you and makes ADR sessions fun, since they can be so technical at times. It's like getting to watch bloopers."

Getting Some of the Awesome Voltron Guest Stars & Fun VA Recording Moments

Joaquim & Lauren: "We bat around some ideas internally, and couldn't believe when the casting directors were on board with some of our ideas: like getting Vince Shlomi or the ShamWow guy to voice the knife store owner in the Space Mall."

The show's head of casting, Anya's eyes light up this suggestion, and it was kind of a celebrity moment when he came in to record.

Weird Al Yankovic was a fixture of Lauren's childhood, and it certainly helped having a voice director legend like Andrea Romano to fall back on.

 At one point, they had Rhys Darby (Coran) and Paul Rubin sort of 'battling it out in the Space Mall haggling sequence' and it was like 'the Lake House of back-and-forth, like they were on two astral planes' but when it came together, it was 'magical.'

 Since Nolan North voiced both Sam Holt and Commander Iverson, there were literally scenes where he was just literally talking to himself, and Lauren noted that "the guy's such a professional that he does things straight through instead."

 Lauren also noted that Cree Summers is one of those VA's who will sideline an entire session, since she's such a hilarious, big personality.

 Jeremy and the other VA's said that recording with the cast was always the highlight of his week. But one of the coolest things was when they had the entire, locked-in VA cast together for the first time, and they realized that they had picked the right people.

 "I know I'm doing my job right in the recording booth when I'm making my cast mates laugh."

Sometimes the cast would get into fun side conversations catching up that Andrea (the voice director) had to interrupt and remind them that: 'We're literally in a take right now and you're having a full conversation. You can catch up later.'

 Bex once freaked out Josh K. and AJ since they were in the middle of a conversation and they didn't hear the sound beeps, but Bex did and suddenly yelled 'GO!'

Season 8 Plot Teasers

Lauren: "Basically our paladins have freed Earth from Galra rule and all that's left to kind of finish the job and free all the universe."

Joaquim: "We do have this one character that you might have noticed in a clip that becomes pretty pivotal, and she's been gone for a bit..." (Which presumably was Hagger/Honerva since the S8 was then aired) 

Fun Misc. Show Tidbits

Bex apparently came to Pidge's audition in a Batman onsie.

During the 'Slipperies scene', the little side panels of Coran's pants come apart and flap like little tails. This wasn't something that was originally in the design, but the animators added it.

The creators once had an original design where Coran had a tail, and Lauren noted "it was super cute."

Jeremy thought the whole Shiro clone saga was awesome, and he specifically loved the Black Paladins episode. 

Lauren and Joaquim admitted that they were even shocked by that storyline since they had a very different storyline at first - "that's the interesting thing about the creative process, since you'll get notes and have to make some changes, but it then takes you to really unexpected places and make for some unique and interesting storylines."

There wasn't time for a Q&A portion, and the panel ended with the Season 8 teaser/first look. Though, I'd have to say that it was still definitely fun watching the teaser with such a large crowd of fans, and basically shrieking and gasping together at different intervals hahaha.

#voltron legendary defender #voltron nycc #voltron spoilers #vld spoilers #voltron season 8 #vld season 7 #vld s7 spoilers #joaquim dos santos #lauren montgomery #josh hamilton #kimberly brooks #bex taylor klaus #josh keaton #jeremy shada #wow this was a long-ass recap post #as most of my recap posts tend to be #but i hope someone appreciates it? lol #there were 11 individual videos for this hahaha #i do try to be fairly thorough when I'm transcribing everything #and make sure I didn't miss anything too pertinent #but it was fun transcribing since it was literally reliving the panel again hahaha #celeb encounter series

[purpleswans1]

Posting fic on 3 different platforms is hard

That Google doc html converter is a lifesaver since I don't have to reformat everything, but FF doesn't use it so I still need the raw fic. FF is actually a huge headache to add to since you have to upload the text as a doc and then add chapters or new fic. It you're using tags, which you should be, you have to incorporate the same tw, ship, fandom, and event tags it three places. And if you're using line breaks, you're back to scrolling through the whole piece and adding line breaks using a text editor

Tl:dr I spent about an hour uploading 2 oneshots today and I think they gave me a headache. I hope you guys appreciate the effort I put in to make finding my fics easier for you.

#and that isn't even accounting for editing time #writing problems #fanfic writing #personal post #shut up ghillie

[noelclover]

Off The Cuff 07/05/2019

Read a gaming article, want to post about it: It’s about game journalists. So I guess...

Ranty.

As per usual I copy pasta paragraphs and argue against them by typing them out in an attempt to rid myself of the headaches. Moving past the Event Hubs bit:

> EventHubs is just the latest battleground for a much larger and divisive issue: Who gets to be a games journalist? Some players believe the industry’s reporters should be particularly competent (if not masterful) at practically every game they cover. They must be a gamer among gamers, one that lives, breathes, and devours gaming 24 hours a day.

🍀 Not quite true. Particularly competent implies that you have to be good at the game, which isn’t what most gamers expect out of games journalists when they review a game. What is expected is some level of competency that can be considered somewhat “average”. If you play “Prinny Can I Really Be The Hero Dude?” and die 999 times, unable to finish the game and then tell me it’s a really hard game because the fights are a pain in the ass and you couldn’t move your thumb anymore from the button mash, hey, I get you buddy. It’s fine. If you play a shooter but you can’t, say, move and shoot, or move the camera and shoot and then tell me it’s really hard while on the easiest setting, I’m gonna have to doubt you hard. If you pull a Dean Takahashi on me... Well, yeah. Most people don’t expect games journalists to be a “gamers among gamers”, or MLG 1080 no scope gods. But then again, I guess that’s why the term “some players” is used at the start. So if even, say, a miniscule 0.1% of gamers do think like that, they wouldn’t be lying.

> Esports reporter Sabriel Mastin regularly covers Blizzard Entertainment’s first-person shooter Overwatch for Overbuff’s blog. She was surprised by EventHubs’ requirement, in part because she believes there’s a fundamental difference between analyzing a game as a journalist and demonstrating technical skills as a player. “For example, I cover Overwatch from general news to the highest levels of the game with the Overwatch League,” she told the Daily Dot. “I understand it at a very high level, but I’m in the middle of the competitive ladder. […] That doesn’t mean I don’t understand high-level plays and strategies of what the pro players are doing.”

🍀 She’s absolutely right. There’s a difference however in being an analyst and a game reviewer. Look at sports for example. We don’t expect sports journalists to be able to compete with whatever football team is up there right now but we most certainly expect them to be able to tell us what’s going on if we ever get confused. Same with cars. I wouldn’t trust Top Gear to cover a car if they can’t drive and base everything off whatever the specs of the car are. There’s a fundamental difference in watching and doing.

Also middle of the competitive ladder is probably pretty damn good. Or at least a really good indicator that she knows her mechanics really well.

> This is exactly what happened to GamesBeat’s Dean Takahashi. 🍀  Ah, shit. Here we go again.

> In the games industry, Takahashi regularly breaks stories and approaches controversial news with a level head. If you’re a games journalist, he’s a role model for your own career. But if you’re just a regular gamer who doesn’t track the industry’s most important writers, you probably know Takahashi for his abysmal Cuphead gameplay. In a viral video, Takahashi struggles to clear Cuphead’s easiest part by far: its tutorial. One scene shows him unable to clear a tall pillar for over a full minute, despite the fact the game walks the player through how to pass the obstacle. Without context, the video implies Takahashi is a clueless writer who barely knows how to use a controller.

🍀 I don’t know about “most important writers” or being a role model. But then again, I’m a “regular gamer who doesn’t track the industry’s most important writers”. I’m a regular gamer who looks at the end product being marketed to the audience: the articles.

Even with context, he was absolutely horrible at it. So much so that I think there’s going to forever be some doubt about his abilities to actually assess games for consumption. I remember reading that it allegedly wasn’t the first time he did it either. I think it was an RPG or something, but he didn’t realize that there was a menu button and that he could increase his stats or something, making the game easier. Not sure how true that is, but Cuphead most certainly didn’t help his reputation.

> But an explanatory post written by Takahashi paints a different picture. While previewing the game during Germany’s Gamescom trade fair, he “was messing around at first” and “wasn’t focused and serious until I had warmed up,” which means he easily missed clues telling the player how to complete the tutorial. This makes a lot of sense if you’ve ever been to a gaming convention as a member of the press. With so many games to preview, interviews to conduct, and time-sensitive stories to write, it’s impossible to give a game the same undivided attention as you would at home.

🍀 You don’t mess around for a whole minute at a tutorial segment, being a complete idiot who can’t Jump And Dash. It takes a child maybe 30 seconds. Sure, we can miss things in games, but it was pretty spelled out. The camera even gave you all the clues you needed the moment you got into the pit.

You can’t tell me you need to give Cuphead’s tutorial your complete undivided attention. It’s fine that he messed up in the stage itself, I mean, platformers aren’t really everybody’s thing, although the way he played it looked like he was playing platformers for the first time, but a tutorial like that does not require your complete, undivided attention. It requires a bit of it, but not so much that you enter The Zone trying to bloody Jump And Dash.

> Nearly two years later, the controversy echoes a point Mastin made about the EventHubs job listing: In a world with Gamergate, “skill” is used to gatekeep marginalized players and determine who is (or isn’t) a real gamer.

🍀 Except it’s not used to  “ gatekeep marginalized players and determine who is or isn’t a “real gamer”. “Skill” is a mostly arbitary measure people have always had to determine if someone is competing in your bracket, or in the case of games journalists, determine if they know what the hell they’re actually talking about.

I’ve seen people criticize Monster Hunter for not being Devil May Cry. They really didn’t know what the game was about.

You can criticize a game for being clunky, the classic Resident Evil games were pretty darn clunky for example, you can say that their controls didn’t make any sense. You can criticize a game’s gameplay for not feeling rewarding, but to be able to tell, you’d have to be able to play the game, which means having some measure of skill to get through the game in the first place.

In a skill based activity, skill is to some degree linked to understanding. Games like Monster Hunter and Dark Souls work like that. The better understanding you have of your tools (iframes, armour, move set), the better your understanding of game mechanics, the thing you interact with to get through the game.

> “It can certainly feel that the conversation is coming from right-leaning people, especially after being around during [the Gamergate] era,” Mastin said. “The ‘discussion’ has the vestige of that time when we’d hear, ‘Game journalists need to be objective, taking out any emotion from the game.’ I don’t remember the discussion about being ‘good’ popping up before that time.”

🍀 And here it is, one of the myriad things I really, really dislike because it feels dishonest. Do you see it?

“right-leaning people”

I really dislike this because it’s often times done as a smear. What’s that? You don’t care about politics and found Anita Sarkeesian’s video questionable? You must be some skinhead Nazi son-of-a-bitch. What’s that? You think Dean Takahashi was iffy? You must be a right-wing trogdolyte.

I dislike this because it shuts down any conversation to be had and is a very underhanded dodge method. It also pushes people to extremes because they develop a sense of bitterness from being silenced.

But hey, who gives a shit. Criticism of game journalists apparently makes you “right-wing”, whatever the hell that even means.

Rant aside. I don’t know anyone saying that they need to “take any emotion from the game”, back then and now. I remember people saying that they shouldn’t be sleeping with the person who was reviewing their game, much like with every other field, to prevent as much bias as possible. Very different things.

I also remember people saying that you had to be “good”, but the definition of “good” was “decent at the game”.

> But a skilled gamer isn’t necessarily a skilled reporter. Journalism has its own requirements for basic competency: a strong voice, a powerful command of the written word, the people skills necessary to talk to sources, and the humility required to cooperate with an editor and revise a story. These are not necessarily things you can learn from playing Super Smash Bros. Ultimateor Overwatch. On some level, you have to sacrifice in-game time to focus on becoming a better reader, writer, and communicator. If that means you occasionally struggle with a difficult game like Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice or Enter the Gungeon, then so be it. That doesn’t make you any less of a games journalist.

🍀 The article is right in that being a skilled gamer doesn’t make you a skilled journalist. You do have to sacrifice some thing for another. Doesn’t explain Dean’s abysmal performance in the tutorial or when we see game journalists play FPS games and move their character, not the camera, to turn around and shoot something.

Look. You don’t have to be a god at a game to review it. It would be untrue to say that nobody ever said this, but it would also be untrue to say that that’s what people are asking for. It’s like if you were buying that overly hyped cheese tart. You really, really want the cheese tart reviewer to have taste buds. It’d be great if they can tell you if there’s some essence of cheese-flower in the tart or something, but that’s a bonus. You want them to be able to tell you how it generally tastes, the mouth feel, if it’s crumble, etc etc. If that’s the standard for most, if not everything, fields, then why should it be different for gaming?

> But in a world infested with Gamergaters, it’s hard to read a job posting like EventHubs’ in good faith. If you’re not a pro gamer, you’re an SJW charlatan.

🍀 Infested is a strange term to use for people who want ethics in game journalism and don’t want to be hit over the head with some forced SJW aesop or writing which takes the story or setting in a choke hold, like with Andromeda where apparently the Asari, a unisex species has what’s basically gendered pronouns because why the fuck not. (Seriously, it’s a small issue I know, but it would have been great to explore how a unisex species works, if they use different pronouns for the different stages in like, etc etc, and if they do, why? How the hell would they perceive gender anyway? Asari can breed with pretty much whoever they want, genitals be damned.)

Infested is a strange term to use for people who rolled their eyes to Far Cry 5 reviewers that said that the game wasn’t “political enough” (to summarize) because they wanted the game to bash the hell out of Trump and his supporters and gave the game a lower score.

(No, seriously. They expected a French company who wants to make money to alienate a portion of their player base to make some political statement that they most likely do not care about so that some folks who hate Trump can get a hard on for 5 seconds or something.)

I don’t think anyone who plays video games is really against “diversity” in video games. I say it in quotation marks because the definition of diversity is ridiculously loose. I mean, a while ago we got some guy criticizing The Witcher 3, a game based on a nearly mono-European-ethnicity country’s cultural history and mythology, a nation which doesn’t get much spotlight in anything aka Poland because it doesn’t have “people of colour”.

I don’t know about you lot, but I would honestly rather play a game that’s based off of Polish stories, Egyptian mythos than some shooter based in America, even if the character is somehow, super specifically, Malaysian Chinese and likes Nasi Lemak and Ramlee burgers more than he should.

And no. You’re not an SJW charlatan because you’re not a pro-gamer. It’s a false dichotomy to say that. If you’re an SJW charlatan, it’s because you’re an SJW charlatan. It’s almost as bloody stupid as saying that you’re a right-winger because you play games. Or you’re part of the Yang-Gang because you’re Asian because he’s Asian. (For the record, I’m Malaysian, again, but the Yang-Gang thing is pretty cool.)

Stop digging Gamergate back out from it’s grave. You’ve taken the piss on it’s corpse, spat at people who gave too much of a damn about games and repeatedly use it as a boogeyman to further your bullshit instead of, oh, I don’t know, using it as the lesson it should be:

Do your job and tell us if a game is decent, fun or bad, your political standpoint be damned.

Overall, I’m kind of disappointed yet at the same time I’m not. I really want game journalists to do their job and tell me how fun a game was. I mentioned the Diablo 3 PC Gamer Malaysia article a bunch of times, but recently I remembered the article they wrote for Evil Genius. It didn’t question the morality of the game, it didn’t go on about how there could be more inclusion or some shit like that.

It talked about the game and made me wish I could play it.

#don't mind me #off the cuff

[raw-output]

20 Years.

Two-thirds of a lifetime ago, a ten-year-old boy in a scratchy wool sweater sat huddled under an old down blanket. The first proper snow of the season had come the week before, and the boy hadn’t been dressed for building forts. Now here he was - bored, sick and sweaty. His mother entered the room with a mug of undrinkably hot milk with honey and butter. In her other hand was an issue of GAME.EXE, a computer gaming magazine. The words “HALF-LIFE” were plastered across the bottom of the cover. The boy loved reading, and loved computers, and the milk needed time to cool off anyway. He opened the magazine and flipped to page 8 after finding it in the table of contents. The boy grew older and switched languages, countries and continents, but his favorite game never changed.

-

It’s hard to compress two decades into text, but I will attempt to do so when it comes to my relationship with the Half-Life series that began all those years ago, with that preview article in that magazine.

The article  was written in a second-person perspective that really stuck out to me, and was filled with screenshots that would later turn out to be of an unreleased rough beta version of the game. It ran through several dramatized, episodic descriptions of events in the game, then listed out the weapons used in the game, the enemies you would face and the tactics to deal with them. Finally, there was an interview with Marc Laidlaw himself. This single article was sufficient to make me completely insufferable to my parents for the next few months. “I want to play Half-Life,” I would say. At first, this meant asking to go to an Internet cafe a few blocks away from home, and for money to pay by the hour and use one of their beefy gaming PCs. Later on, it meant asking for a copy of the game, and for time on the “main” home computer - the only machine that could run the game at all, in glorious 320x240 resolution that gave me headaches.

-

A couple of years passed. The move to the US threw everything into a pleasant state of disarray, but the one thing that hadn’t changed was having to ask my parents to use the computer to play Half-Life. I had found one of my own soon after arriving in the States, but it had no sound card. It was there, on my mother’s computer, that I finally beat the game. My thirteenth birthday present was a copy of the newly released Opposing Force expansion. My birthday cake featured an edible photo of myself playing in a fountain in downtown Chicago, which my mother doodled over with brightly colored frosting. I was now knee-deep in toxic green sludge, a crowbar in one hand, and a proud Lambda logo on my chest.

Most kids in my 8th and 9th grade classes didn’t share my enthusiasm for Half-Life. They played console games and were rightfully hyped about the Playstation 2 and X-Box. In search of like-minded people, I took to the Internet. My options for getting online in 2001 were limited to libraries - either during lunch at school, or at the Naperville Public Library, which was a hour-long walk from home. I discovered Planet Half-Life, an offshoot of the Gamespy network. Through it, I discovered the fact that my favorite game was designed from the ground up to be moddable. I learned of Counter-Strike, Team Fortress Classic, and Sven Co-op. I discovered the Handy Vandal’s Almanac and The Snarkpit, two communities focused on level design. Having no reliable internet at home, I downloaded the level editor - then called Worldcraft - onto a floppy drive and brought it home to install. For the first time, I wasn’t simply playing the game. My parents looked on as I worked to figure out the obtuse user interface, trying to remember what I’d read earlier in the day. They raised their eyebrows when I finally managed to compile and run my first level - a hollow, unlit concrete box 512 units across with a single prefab trashcan hovering in the center. There wasn’t much more I could do in the limited time I was allowed to use the good computer, but I had caught the bug. My notebooks were filled with doodles of level layouts, my mind filled with cheesy storylines to match.

Eventually my family moved to a house with proper internet access, and I got a set of hardware with enough power under the hood to run both the game and the editor. It could even produce sound! All the things I could only read and salivate about were now within my reach, and I gorged myself on them. Counter-Strike quickly fell by the wayside, but Team Fortress and Sven Co-Op did not. Natural Selection came out and blew me away with how different a Half-Life mod could look and feel from the original game. I stayed up past midnight, playing, building, and playing some more. I learned that projects can die - when the extremely tongue-in-cheek Scientist Slaughterhouse mod went silent.

The release of the Half-Life 2 trailer took everybody by surprise. I had called one of my like-minded friends and we synch-watched it together, pausing every few minutes to let the video buffer and gush about how amazing everything looked and how much we were looking forward to messing with the modding toolkit. The subsequent beta leak and resulting delays taught me to be patient.

The move to California was not long after, and my patience was immediately put to the test as most of my belongings were stuck with the moving company, including my computer. I must have gone through a full pack of printer paper in less than a month, drawing up concepts and layouts for Xen Rebels, a mod centered around a semi-peaceful human colonization of the realm set after the events of Half-Life. Once my computer arrived, it was right back to the late nights and groggy mornings for me. Our home Internet was bad but workable, and I spent countless hours with the new and more creative mods that were being released, including The Specialists - a strong attempt to recreate the gun-fighting and martial arts stylings of Hong-Kong action movies in a multiplayer game. Around the same time I was introduced to the strange new world of anime, and decided that I simply must change the two throwable knives offered by The Specialists into kunai and throwing needles. This of course required me to learn 3D modelling. At the time, this was done with Milkshape 3D, a model editor compatible with most contemporary game formats. Once again, countless hours of figuring out the interface and the workflow followed, set to the calming tones of the Unreal, Deus Ex and Half-Life soundtracks. Creating models felt a lot more freeform than levels as I wasn’t constrained to a unit grid or forced to use convex geometry, and one day the new throwing weapons were in. I published the modified models on a forum to exactly zero fanfare. Around the same time, I began learning the basics of Photoshop in school, so modelling and texturing went hand in hand. To say my early textures were atrocious would be an affront to honest, hard-working atrocious textures the world over, but I continued my studies. My experience with working in 3D even netted me a 2nd place award at the school art contest - money which I immediately put back into upgrading my computer.

Half-Life 2 came out in November of 2004, to universal praise and celebration. I received the collector’s edition as a present for New Year, along with a copy of Raising The Bar. I beat the game the same morning, without a wink of sleep between unwrapping my present and the final darkness of the credits screen. The SDK didn’t ship with the game, but as soon as it was released I dove in. Soon after, the modding community blossomed, bigger and more vibrant than the original game’s, driven by the incredible flexibility of the engine. One of the first mods that appeared was made by a British man named Garry, and was called simply that, “Garry’s Mod”. It let players interact with the physics engine, and slowly sprouted more and more features. Many players used these features to pose character ragdolls, eventually creating entire comic series with storylines ranging from the comedic non-sequitur to dark and serious. Of course I felt the need to try my hand at it. That lead to the creation of The Plane - the story of Beet, a Combine Elite who managed to break free of his overseers’ indoctrination and find friendship, love, and revenge on his old masters. The only redeeming feature of that story was that it taught me how not to write stories.

I began getting more attached to the Gmod community than the expressly level design one at The Snarkpit. The few levels I publicly released were designed specifically as sandboxes to play and build in. The most popular ones were gm_orbit and rp_bahamut, maps set in space and featuring zero gravity for physical objects, allowing players to build smaller spaceships, or roleplay as the crew of a salvage and exploration vessel. Posting teaser images on the forums taught me a valuable lesson - what it felt like to be the one creating hype, instead of experiencing it. The constant demands were overwhelming. Some would simply want more work-in-progress screenshots. Others would drop ultimatums that unless a certain feature was designed a certain way, they would refuse to use the map. Others yet attempted to worm their way into getting the map early, offering to test it and provide feedback. I had almost deleted each project multiple times before finally releasing it.

Life happened, and things with Half-Life slowed down. When the Orange Box came out in 2006, I attempted to get it at a five-finger discount at a local Target. I got caught. Indirectly thought it was, Half-Life taught me that idiocy often leads to consequences. Buying it legitimately later in the year and playing through Episode Two reminded me that some stories aren’t written to end neatly.

It was in 2007 that I bought a membership for the Something Awful forums, and discovered an avid and very exclusive community of Gmod players. Over the course of the following decade, most of these people remained in constant contact with me, and will probably remain so for the foreseeable future. I became an admin once we opened our serves to the public - moderating the newcomers and mentoring the unskilled. One of the people had a project in mind, and I began creating models again. Miraculously, Milkshape 3D remained compatible with the Source engine, so I worked with it until I learned Maya. This project would eventually become known as Armored Combat Framework, and be released to the Gmod community at large. I learned how to iterate designs based on feedback, and how it felt to work in a well organized team.

Frontier happened around 2010, and was another lesson in teamwork - specifically what happens when things break down without role redundancy. Ambitions ran high, and the hype mounted. The programmer eventually left, and all that remains of the project is the very videos and images that were used to hype it in the first place, and a folder full of now-useless models, maps and textures. That was probably what prompted me to start pulling away from Half-Life and Gmod in general.

Black Mesa came out in 2012 and breathed a new life into my old obsession. I played through the original Half-Life again, then through the remake, noting the differences and the tweaks to make the gameplay more palatable to modern-day players. It felt good, like putting on an old but comfortable jacket. I’d fire up the SDK now and then, mostly to help newer, more driven designers. Two of the guys from Team Frontier went on to work in the industry full-time. There were whispers of a new game in the works, minor leaks of file and folder names hidden away in Valve projects. Episode 3 turned into Half-Life 3. A full sequel, rather than another short episode, as originally planned. “HL3 Confirmed” became a meme, but the people at the top remained silent.

Life kept happening, as it does. I lost people, I found people. I left home. Every now and then I’d fire up HL or BM again, or drop by the old Gmod server. I’d build things and model things, and release none of it to the public. I watched as the Dota International became the most widely spectated event in gaming, making players, sponsors, and Valve millions. The realization slowly started settling in. Then Marc Laidlaw retired, and later posted the Epistle. The workers at Valve spoke of a lack of direction and stagnation that comes with a cornered market. Modding for an engine over a decade old, no matter how advanced, slowed down.

It’s a different world now. Unity and Unreal engines rule the scene. Survival and Battle Royale have become the new buzzwords. Microtransactions. Loot boxes. Streaming integration. Freemium. E-Sports. Mobile gaming. Virtual Reality. If a new Half-Life were to appear today, would it be changed by the zeitgeist, or would it stay the course set by its predecessors? I don’t know. But there’s one thing that the escapades of a mute, bespectacled research associate have taught me more than anything else: hope.

#half-life #anniversary #20 years #textwall #nostalgia

[1stnewslink]

Massive Houston hemp facility has its eyes on a cannabis-infused future

A distinct aroma wafts through the offices of Bayou City Hemp, where the skunky smell of cannabis mixes with the sweet smell of optimism.

As one of the first and largest hemp processors in Texas, the two-year-old company is planting the seeds for a legal cannabis industry that the founders say will come. Until then, Bayou City will focus on clean forms of extracting cannabidiol – CBD – oils from the hemp plant and processing them into products such as edible gums, drinkable mixers and inhalable vape pens. Products it makes can help you fall asleep, relieve your pain, and even get you high.

Ben Meggs and Jeromy Sherman were friends and colleagues who worked in the oil and gas industry before founding Bayou City Hemp in 2019. The company aims to fill a void in the emerging Texan market – regulators legalized the industry in 2019 to help farmers squeezed by the U.S. trade war with China. When they started planting and harvesting, the farmers needed a place to process the raw hemp.

On HoustonChronicle.com: Hemp or marijuana? After a year in the dark, Harris County attorneys will finally know.

“We saw that the industry bottleneck would be on the processing side,” said Sherman. “We started the company that we couldn’t find.”

House Bill 1325, enacted two years ago, made it legal to manufacture, distribute, and sell consumable hemp products in Texas in an emerging industry that is now regulated by the Texas Department of State Health Services. The legislation followed the passage of the Federal Farming Act in December 2018, which redefined hemp as a low-THC cannabis product (0.3 percent or less THC) and removed it from the definition of marijuana in the Control Substances Act.

While hemp is legally different from its cousin marijuana in terms of its THC content – it’s the same type of cannabis plant – nature often doesn’t draw a clear line. If hemp has too high a THC content, federal agencies require that it be destroyed.

The legalization of hemp ushered in a new wave of production and ended a gray area in which trade had previously been active. Hemp is now used as an ingredient in everything from drink mixers to shampoos. Hemp Industry Daily magazine predicts US retail hemp sales will reach $ 3.9 billion this year, up from $ 1.6 billion last year. Retail sales are expected to reach nearly $ 6.3 billion in 2022.

But farmers have struggled to start harvesting in Texas, where the climate differs from that of the northern states from which they plant seeds.

Last summer’s harvest was the first in Texas, and since then Bayou City has processed hemp from half a dozen farmers and expected to add to that list to find better seed sourcing and growing in Texan conditions.

Bayou City hemp worker Cameron Gonzales uses the CO2 extractor to pull oil from the hemp plant in Houston on Thursday, June 24, 2021, exiting the oil and gas industry after the law passed and stepping into the growing CBD industry a.

Godofredo A. Vásquez, Houston Chronicle / Staff Photographer

Lift off the ground

Self-funded and with investments from friends and family (they didn’t want to say how much), Sherman and Meggs brought in Karen Trotter, who had previously worked as the company’s chief financial officer, financing oil and gas startups to make sure they if they had the capital they had to hit the ground under their feet. Today the company employs more than two dozen people, from chemists and plant operators to marketing and accounting professionals.

Partners started equipping their Park Row lab last summer and started seeing products in September. “We’re still in start mode,” said Trotter.

To this end, Bayou City is helping Texan farmers to source more successful seeds, advising them on cultivation, and helping them with tests, as well as with any extraction and processing.

“There’s no playbook for that,” said Sherman.

“It’s an industry that didn’t exist before,” said Meggs.

Texas hemp farmers have struggled to achieve full harvests as they cite poor seed genetics and problems with insects and mold. Hemp prices also collapsed in 2019 as farmers loudly demanded to plant the newly legal market crop and overproduction prevailed.

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“The floor fell out when we were ready to hit the market,” said Scott Meiers, co-owner and president of Texas Premium Hemp Producers in Brenham.

Meiers, a rancher, said he almost gave up on hemp last year because it was so difficult to grow and make a profit. His mind changed when he saw how CBD gums were helping his nephew, who was autistic and up to this point non-verbal.

“He came up to me, patted my shoulder and said, ‘Good job,’ while I was barbecuing,” recalls Meiers. “I cried. It really, really changed his life. “

When Meiers decided to try again, Bayou City Hemp helped him source his seeds better and provided him with hemp products that he could sell on the farm to make ends meet until he could sell his own hemp. Meiers said he expected to have his first harvest next month.

Calvin Trostle, an agronomist at Texas A&M, said in a recent university paper that the Texas hemp industry will take time to research and perfect. And costs have to fall so that it can take off as a yielding plant.

“As an alternative crop, the hemp industry in Texas is still in its infancy,” said Trostle. “There’s a lot of education going on, but we’re still trying to figure out which strains are adaptable so we can help producers avoid headaches.”

Karen Trotter, CFO of Bayou City Hemp, opens the rotary evaporator that makes winterized hemp extract extract during a tour of its facilities in Houston on Thursday, June 24, 2021. Bayou City Hemp is one of the largest hemp manufacturing outposts since Texas legalized hemp in 2019. After the law was passed, the founders left the oil and gas industry and entered the growing CBD industry.

Godofredo A. Vásquez, Houston Chronicle / Staff Photographer

The elevated road

When it came to building the lab, Sherman and Meggs said they went out of their way, equipped it to medical industry standards of good manufacturing practice, and created an internal system that scans and scans each batch of CBD oil tracked.

“We wanted to plan for FDA regulation,” said Sherman, who was recruiting an extraction specialist with 40 years experience at Dow Chemical as chief operating officer and a general manager with more than a decade of experience in cannabis extraction in other states.

Bayou City also decided to use a carbon dioxide process to make hemp oil cleaner from the plant. Less expensive ethanol-based methods used in industry result in hazardous waste, while carbon dioxide extraction leaves plant material with a high protein content that – yet to be investigated – could be used as fodder.

“Our COO uses it in his garden and he says his broccoli has never been bigger,” said Trotter.

Growing pains

The extraction of CBD oils from the hemp plant is a multi-step process. The first is to remove the stems from the hemp flower and put them through a grinder, which gives a fine powder. Then Bayou City staff heat it to activate the cannabinoids inside and prepare them for extraction.

Fats and waxes are separated in the laboratory, resulting in an oil that they then distill three times to increase potency and remove impurities, achieving a purity of around 80 percent. They prepare an isolate that is 99 percent pure in a reactor room.

For those who prefer some THC in their CBD, leave it in and refer to it as a full spectrum oil. For others, they remove it and label it as broad spectrum oil. Some want the cannabis-like effects, so they convert it into something called Delta-8-THC, an intoxicating molecule similar to the THC in marijuana, but with a different atomic structure.

On HoustonChronicle.com: The largest expansion of the medical marijuana program in Texas to date is advancing in the legislature

Kristen Nichols, editor of Hemp Industry Daily, said that Delta-8 appears to bind less easily to cannabinoid receptors in the brain, producing milder results than the type of THC that is federally illegal and only regulated by state cannabis laws.

Nichols said she initially viewed Delta-8 as “a cheap knock-off, a loophole that people are taking advantage of”.

“I’ve changed my mind since then,” she said. “There are people who want something in between.”

A full cannabis extraction would be a welcome hub for the business, Meggs said, since the product is cheaper to work with and they can sell it for about three times the amount of CBD. But first, Texas has to go its neighbors’ route and legalize it.

“We’re looking forward to this day,” said Meggs. “But at the moment we live in the CBD world.”

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