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seaweedstarshine · 1 month

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Hi! Long time no yap but I've been really bothered by this thing and I know you're just the person I can go to with this (even if we don't always end up agreeing at times).

I got into a tiff with someone in a comments section of a post that was about Amy (Which character do you think deserved to become a villain? or something similar). They brought up Amy's abuse of her boyfriend. I may have tried to defend Amy (key word is tried. I am officially rubbish at debating) but then I may have said something? Because they said that I (and apparently a lot of other fans) was excusing Amy's abuse because of her trauma. It got me stumped because isn't young Amy's treatment of Rory rooted in her trauma? Did I miss the memo where we separate trauma and abuse? Am I missing something?

That statement bothered me a lot because if there's one thing I never want to do it's defend an abuser. So here I am, humbly asking and hoping to clear the muddy waters.

Your really confused and disturbed moot, Tia 💌

TIA!!!!! Thanks for the ask 💌 , and I send you all the hugs.

Discussion of abuse, trauma, ableism, infidelity, and unhealthy relationship dynamics beneath the cut.

(First off… while I really appreciate your faith in my explaining skills <3 <3 <3 my passion for traumatized characters and mentally ill+neurodivergent rights doesn't make me especially qualified to fully clear muddy waters especially not knowing the full context, but I feel you, and what follows is my informed perspective!)

Speaking generally first, harm done in media is best examined by the impact on the audience, with a different lens than harm done to real people. While relatable experiences in media can be useful and validating and incredibly important, you can’t be “defending an abuser” when the abuse is fictional. It's actually normal for traumatized/ND/mentally ill people to project onto mentally ill villains, when villains are the only significant representation for those stigmatized symptoms in a media landscape that excludes and demonizes us simply for existing. RTD can't stop people who hallucinate from reclaiming the Master's Drums and projecting onto the Master, for example — 90% of the best Doctor Who psychosis fic by psychotic authors is about the Master, whether RTD likes it or not. It's not true crime.

(This is speaking generally. Amy Pond is very much not the Master.)

Abuse is a behavior, and there can be many reasons for it, but reasons based in trauma don’t make it not abuse (some forms of generational trauma can propagate abusive parenting styles, when the parent thinks abusive parenting is normal, or lives entirely vicariously through their child). This absolutely should not be taken to mean trauma correlates with abusive behavior; rather that abusive behaviors from traumatized people are more likely to present in specific ways.

Abuse is also a targeted behavior, based in control — not consistently displayed C-PTSD symptoms as seen in Season 5 Amy Pond through many aspects of her life. Mental health symptoms don't become abuse just because they hinder one partner from meeting the other partner's needs. Any life event can do that.

Without knowing the context of the arguments, this is the aspect of their relationship I've seen you talk about before (which I also feel strongly about), and what I assume is what you were debating? So, here I will talk specifically in regard to Season 5.

We all know Amy — she's never attached to Leadworth because she never wanted to leave Scotland, no steady therapist because none of them stick up for her, can't stick with one job yet her first choice is a job that simulates intimacy because her avoidant behavior (a known trauma response) isn't sustainable to her wellbeing. Rory knows her fears of commitment stem from her repeated abandonments, it’s why he’ll always wait for her, and it's why he blames the Doctor “You make it so they don't want to let you down.”, who apart from having caused a lot of her trauma, has actively taken advantage of her being the “Scottish girl in the English village” who's “still got that accent,” because he wants to feel important, so yeah, I think interpreting Amy's issues (and how Amy and Rory transverse them) as Amy abusing Rory indicates a fundamental misunderstanding of their relationship, as well as a misunderstanding of the (raggedy) Doctor’s role in Amy��s formative self-image (which of course she works through in Season 6, but I am sticking to Season 5).

Abuse is always based in control. That just doesn’t fit here. While Amy's detachment from her real life includes things like calling Rory her “kind of boyfriend” (which she is upfront about to his face; differing commitment levels isn't abuse, though it can be a relationship red flag for both parties IRL) — her Season 5 disregard of Rory’s feelings occurs only in response to the fairytale embodiment of her trauma. It's never a response to Rory; it's a response to the Doctor, who stole her childhood and led her by the hand to her death. She cheats on Rory with the Doctor in her bedroom full of Doctor toys, drawings, models, she made from childhood to early adulthood.

(And yes, like many repeatedly-traumatized people, Amy is prone to being sensitive and reactive. Take her “Well, shut up then!” line in The Big Bang; but given Rory responds to this by hugging her, clearly he doesn’t take it as her actually dismissing him. He knows her better than that.)

And by no means do I meant to imply this is fair to young Rory, poor Rory, who's left struggling with the feeling that his role in her life is in competition with the role of her trauma (aka the Doctor). But not every unhealthy relationship dynamic is unhealthy because of abuse. Labelling Amy's treatment of Rory in Season 5 more accurately isn't the same as excusing her harmful choices — but making mistakes is part of being human, Amy's mistakes are certainly understandable, and she works through them out of love for Rory.

If there's one thing to say about Moffat women, it's that Moffat allows his female characters the same grace that the male characters *coughTENcough* have always had, to hurt and struggle and make realistic mistakes and overcome those mistakes and to heal without being demonized.

Amy isn't perfect, but she is a fully realized character, and her story gives us a resonant depiction of childhood trauma.

#abuse #rtd critical #anti rtd #im NOT really anti rtd but im tagging it that because some people block that tag and uhhhh this post strays into rtd critique #maybe he does regret how he wrote the master! we'll never know because rtd is very anti-admitting-his-own-mistakes #words by seaweed #anyways tia i am. SO relieved you’re not upset with me about our last disagreement?#i high key jumped to conclusions after the lack of reply to the last DM? so thank you for this ask it's great to hear from you #sorry you were in a debate about this! that sounds extremely awful.#anyway i'm gonna WAIT at least a week to tag Amy and Rory to avoid this showing up in the character tags right away haha #because I am KINDA scared the anti-media-literacy ppl will find this (I had to include the first part tho its important)#(lack of distinction between harm to audience *in fiction* and irl harm *to actual ppl* leads to problematic public apologies where-#-public figures apologize to fans they let down *instead* of the people they actually hurt. no it doesn't work like that)#(parasocial relationships are not more important than real victims agency or privacy)#editing to say..... yanno what? ive come to terms with not all the posts with the following tag been about the doctor #and I am planning to make a post at some point about the nd aspects of Amy+the Doctor's connection which this stuff IS relevant to soooooo #(eleventh) doctor is neurodivergent tag #editing again to add character tags:#Amy pond #Rory williams

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bylertruther-moved · 2 years

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will says that el has a book of letters from him because he’s just pointing out that they kept in contact regularly whereas he and mike didn’t but somehow mike interprets that as if will was implying there should be something romantic between them too and it stumps will bc that’s not what he meant at all and he doesn’t realize yet why mike is actually so mad or who he’s mad at, and while we clown mike for being oblivious i think will is oblivious too bc this isn’t the first time mike’s done that and yet. will doesn’t question it. he never does and they never talk about it. he just continues with what he’s saying about how they used to be best friends. they never talk about the fact that when will fights to salvage their friendship mike talks about it as if it was more than what it was and as if continuing as they were would get between his relationship with eleven. which implies that he himself feels that their relationship is inappropriate if he wants to date eleven concurrently and explains why it’s the only friendship within the party that seriously falls apart and why will is the only party member that he completely changes his behavior n actions towards and why he’s the only party member that he no longer touches once he dates eleven. which again also explains why after they start dating it’s only when eleven isn’t around that he allows a softer, more open and present mike to reappear around will. it’s just like. why would he do any of that if he’s not projecting? will is literally the one with a canonically confirmed interest in him and yet he’s mad at the roller rink because will is ignoring him [or so he thought at that point]. he’s not mad that eleven lied. he’s not mad at what those bullies did to her. he’s mad that will didn’t talk to him. he’s so mad and hurt by will that he doesn’t even console his girlfriend who was encircled, taunted, and had a milkshake thrown on her all on tape. he stays by will’s side despite everything, even when she’s fidgeting and crying to the side of them. to top it off he even makes a passive aggressive bitchy little comment at dinner afterward because he’s still. mad. at. will. will is the one that ruined his day. not those bullies being cruel to el, but will. it clouds his vision so much that he can’t even pretend or begin to attempt to entertain the idea of being there for her when she so clearly needs him. how does anyone fucking watch any of that and not get what’s going on. HOW????

#byler #YOUR GIRL JUST GOT BULLIED SEVERELY AND YET YOU'RE MAD AT THE BOY WHO USED TO BE YOUR BEST FRIEND?#WILL IS SAYING THAT YOU NEVER TALKED TO HIM AND SOMEHOW YOU THINK HE'S SAYING YOU NEED TO TREAT HIM LIKE #YOU TREAT ELEVEN? SOMEHOW YOU THINK HE'S TALKING ABOUT WANTING MORE THAN JUST FRIENDSHIP?#WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT IF YOU HAVEN'T BEEN THINKING IT YOURSELF... WHEN WILL HAS NEVER ONCE MADE A MOVE ON HIM #OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT.........#MAKE IT MAKE HETEROSEXUAL SENSE IT JUST DOESN'T IT DOESN'T IT DOESN'T IT DOESN'T 🤯🤯#will NEVER implies anything romantic between them he NEVER does and yet MIKE the one with a girlfriend is the one that ALWAYS #ALWAYS ALWAYS MAKES THAT THE TOPIC OF THEIR CONVERSATION! he's the one that brings it up! he's the one that rejects will #when will isn't even making any kind of offer!!!!!!!!!#why would he do that if that isn't something that he feels! that he thinks about! that he's projecting onto will!#this is such a clusterfuck this is liek . this shit is more complicated than the fucking vecna plot at this point tbh #none of them know where the other is they're literally all in different fucking worlds my GODDDDDDDD #will is oblivious. and if he let himself realize what mike is doing and actually face it he would put mike on the spot about it.#mike's friendship is more than enough for will. it's enough to just have mike in his life. meanwhile mike is the one that refuses to see it.#he refuses to let himself even consider it which is why he puts that onto will and refuses to face the world around him.#he doesn't want things to change. we knew that in season three and we ESPECIALLY know that now. jesus christ..#so much is happening in this show.#it's just insane to me tht mike has such a big heart and he cares abt the people he loves nd would protect them with his everything #and when el gets bullied like that.... he just... he's focused on will. because of-fucking-course he is. he's angry at will because #he doesn't want things to change but will's existence in his life will himself is enough to bring forth change in mike that he's scared #to accept. for whatever reason. because why is he constantly doing that? making things romantic? it's not will. it's HIM.#why can't you be his friend and continue to date eleven when you can do the same with everyone else? why is it JUST will?#why do you think that he's propositioning you whenever he talks to you about your friendship?#i'm telling you: it makes no heterosexual sense.#my thoughts #my posts

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cankersaurus · 6 months

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Little nitpick on the dream nd Nicholas cantu video

When nick said "im like this cuz i got autism, adhd yknow nuerodivergent" nd then dream said "i have adhd too" BRO

Having adhd nd having adhd AND autism r too wildly different experiences

Nd the fucking tone he had like "i have adhd nd i dont act like you so you have no right to say wut ur saying" GRRRRR

#very personally charged #like idgaf abt dream or nicholas cantu or wuteva i just hate that one snippet IT MAKES ME SO IRRATIONALLY FURIOUS #anyways fuck dream he's a groomer #nick shudnt have been saying all that shit in the video yadayada #also i saw alotta ppl try nd excuse Nicholas's use of slurs cuz hes autistic nd pansexual #like the f slur is wutsver but i got sum shit to say on the use of the r slur #cuz like even if ur autistic u r using it as it was intended and r not at all reclaiming it #theres also been talk abt how autistic ppl cant reclaim the r slur anyhow because it doesn't take away their rights #like it might for sumone w down syndrome #but also nicholas's jewish comments ??#anyways prob delete later im aware how goofy this rant is #mostly just for the involvement of dream i probly cudve figured out away to make my same points without tying it back to stupid drama

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sunnykeysmash · 1 year

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Love VS submission, control and freedom/going wild

#iasip #it's always sunny in philadelphia #always sunny #macdennis #macden #analysis #meta #this script whispering will not click as easily i feel like. i still feel like im piecing it together myself #it's a double point. let me explain however i can.#dennis has always been the man on top. the man with the most control. he doesn't want this. he wants mac to fight back #while for mac the appeal is the exact opposite. he likes the idea of submissing another man. taking control #by establishing mac as the subservient one and dennis as the one in control. but them both desiring the exact opposite #when the roles get flipped between them (by love!) you got to watch the process. you know. girls gone wild #dennis losing control and mac taking it. but especially the first... because actually. hes wanted to for a long time #the chop thing is that. like. him going to ND was his attempt to get that feeling he craves somewhere else #because mac wasn't understanding what dennis was going for!!!!! he wants mac to fight back. he provokes him constantly #he wants that old vinegar to boil again #hewants mac to say no. he wants mac to not want it. he wants mac to take it. he doesnt want to admit he wants it. am i painting the picture #it's never gonna ''happen willingly'' but it'll happen when it looks like they both want it the least. during a fight perhaps #theyre complex ok nobody said this would be easy #parallels

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dumb-fictionkin-sideblog · 6 months

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just realised ive been in the system for a year now and was hit with a massive wave of nostalgia

#sunny #🌷#i'd say ''back when maxime was the host'' but he has been there Very often lately #so we might just be going back to that #which... how long has it been? ive been host since march #nd i formed in november of last year soooo...#been host 8 months #maxime 4 #...jesus #well technically he was host before i even formed but #i was dissociating for like two or three of the 8 months at the beginning #and then one month again during the vacations #so i guess it makes sense that it doesn't feel like such a long time to me #bc maxime is *still* upset about not being the host anymore. like he complained about it a week ago #we didnt realize it had been so long #dissociating at the beginning of the host switch makes sense considering it happened for trauma reasons #but it's still a. long ass time i lost there

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bixiaoshi · 2 years

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i think it's interesting ppl complain abt luffy when he does pirate-y stuff like. that is the point he IS a pirate. he won't make the choice because it's the right thing to do. he will make it because it's the thing he feels is the right thing to do

#mostly in marineford like many ppl complain that luffy didn't care about freeing criminals bc he wanted to save ace #and like that is the point!!!!! in all of one piece luffy doesn't think about the consequences he only chooses what _he_ thinks is right at #that time!!! and many times it doesn't allign w the 'good guys' decisions #yeah he has saved countries from corruption nd such but he's still a pirate and he does it because he is a pirate #because the world government won't do shit abt it bc it doesn't affect them. that IS the point #im very passionate abt one piece have u all noticed #PLUS!!!!!!! everytime he does it he says please don't see me as a hero. he isn't a hero. he isn't a good guy. he's a wanted criminal

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uzaydenizanasi · 1 year

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Only my version of pg saiou is canon and i know it

#uzay.txt #it's three in the fucking morning but hear me the fuck out. pg kokichi is a depressed little fuck with zero shits 2 give + roasts everyone #on sight. mf comes 2 class shames ur entire bloodline and goes tf 2 sleep for the rest of the day on his desk #MASSIVE resting bitch face. lowkey fan of dr bc of the psychological aspect + shitty parents have u seen that guy bro he has shit parents #okay pg shuichi. absent parents. massive house 2 himself always. friends with like two people. bros literally just a nd guy #with a dr special interest chill tf out with ur fucky ass pg shuichi hcs thanks xoxo #anyways. calm guy. will threaten u if ur a bitch tho. wdym he can't say he'll tear off ur throat with his teeth he's obviously joking 😞💔#but fr he doesn't mean it he's just rlly good at acting lmfao #anyways pg saiou r like. interesting guy perhaps i will talk 2 him. and then they never do until they're like partnered in a project or smt #accidental friendship 2 lovers my beloved #''do u wanna hear abt the latest ep of dr :-)'' ''go the fuck to therapy. yes.''#pg kokichi hates lying btw i say so. he told me himself he's blunt as fuck. little shit man #anyways. gn my brain hurts #pregame saiouma #pregame shuichi #pregame kokichi #danganronpa #dr

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soryualeksi · 2 years

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Time to inflict my headcanons on everyone again, so.

I just had this lovely conversation in my own head where I was trying to articulate how I’m lying. (Without outing myself as autistic because it’s none of anyone’s business. But basically, I give people disclaimers if something comes up how I’m likely going to go about dealing with it so they won’t be too surpised.)

And after a long long fictional conversation to try and find the right words, my brain kindly spat out the line, “If I’m making a story up whole-cloth there’s just too many details I need to keep track of. It’s far easier and more efficient to tell a PART of the truth and then keep in mind WHICH part of the truth I’m telling.”

Aaand in the next moment my brain added the very helpful “lmao yuan”.

!!!

THINK ABOUT IT

Is he ever telling outright FALSEHOOD to the party? (As starkly opposed to SO MANY OTHER CHARACTERS WHO GET A PASS!!!) The things he IS telling are correct and honest. You get like 90% of your exposition from him, he just DUMPS it all on you like “okay look I made a handy flowchart here’s how Yggdrasill runs the world and here’s the underlying mechanics and here’s how we’re in the grand scheme and by the way I’m a double agent for Cruxis while I’m actually running the resistance no harm from telling that to just any rando btw what you need is that sword at the Tower of Salvation but only half-elves can wield it so that’s a problem bye”.

Yuan is being hmmm not-entirely-truthful (lmao) by not telling PART of the whole truth and frankly? The parts he DOESN’T tell? Are actually mostly personal business. “I’m taking you hostage, Lloyd, to further my goals. WHY is none of your business. I’m trying to get Martel off the machines that keep her body alive. WHY is none of your business. Lloyd, you look JUST like someone I know. WHO is none of your --- for fuck’s sake, Kratos, you WILL tell your own damn kid that you’re his damn bio dad OR I WILL and also, Kratos, I’m 100% planning to kill you for Origin’s Seal and I told you so 2 billion times already AND I’M GOING THROUGH WITH IT ANY MINUTE NOW KRATOS!!!!!”

YUAN isn’t the one who boldly LIES into the party’s face, he doesn’t even really stretch the truth, he just WITHHOLDS parts that uhmmmmm couuuld maybe be worth knowing but ehhh (unbiased lmao).

Anyway, enough rambling. Neurodivergent!Yuan. The character that gets the reputation of being “shifty”, “weird”, “a liar”, “untrustworthy” and whose social mannerisms everyone keeps making fun of (me included tbh because he’s my nerrrd) despite lying FAR LESS than like every other character in the damn game. ;___;

#see me constantly justifying every shitty thing my blorbo ever does #but no honestly i keep thinking and thinking how he is depicted with weird social mannerisms and avoiding eye contact #BUT VERY TRUTHFUL in what he actually SAYS #and somehow a big part of fandom took it as 'look at this shifty shady liar who lies'#and i'm just sad at the discussions i have to have defending him as MANY bad things but NOT a liar #and yes it's my personal thing to fixate on because of people thinking i'm lying to them bc i'm not constantly STARING into their damn eyes #lol #but what is a blorbo but a canvas to project our issues onto hm #anyway #neurodivergent yuan my love #doesn't like eye contact has a large personal space collects weird shit is VERY truthful actually and blows up when pushed too hard #and is surrounded by people who think it's HILARIOUS when he blows up too #if that isn't the ultimate nd mood then what is #and martel actually knew how to deal with his issues in a way that's comfortable to him too #unlike mithos and kratos who tried to 'tough love' him out of his more uncommon behaviours and it didn't work AT ALL #tales of symphonia #yuan ka fai #inflicting my headcanons and projections on all of you #yuan ka fai defense squad #lmao

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master-of-the-opera-house · 2 years

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11 12 20

Thank you darling!!

Archduke Franz Ferdinand:

11. What is your favourite portrayal of them in fiction (e.g. movies, novels etc.)?

My own play

No but really, I don't think I have a favourite fictional portrayal of him bc most media that deal with him are way more focused on, well you know, the assassination and resulting war and all that than on him as an actual person. The only one that comes to mind is that Christopher Plummer movie and they bimboified him which. Literally 0/10 like have u all seen this man he's supposed to look like Taxidermy Fox.

that being said this novel is funny as hell idk if it's my favourite per se because it's SO MEAN to him but the way they were just making up Depressed Bitch thoughts for him..... Iconic. So really, in this media desert I've been stuck with....

12. Let us know the three best books about your favourite historical figure!

a. The Assassination of the Archduke by Greg King and Sue Woolmans was genuinely a great read!! Sensitively written, with a very narrative flow, it was more than a little biased towards him but you know what, it makes up for every other piece of literature out there that is extremely biased //against// him, so I say screw it. Just keep that in mind and take the more flattering bits with a pinch of salt and you'll be grand.

b. Archduke of Sarajevo by Gordon Brook Shepherd - I'm only halfway through it proper, but it seems promising so far & from the skim I've given it, which is why I'm even here reading it in the first place djhdkdkdkdks

c. So this isn't one I've actually read YET, but Alma Hannig's biography is also said to be very gracefully written and I'm dying to get my filthy hands on it. School library i am BEGGING you ((derogatory))

20. What is your favourite possession that refers to your favourite historical figure (e.g. statue, book etc.)?

Ok sorry for the absolute degeneracy but

UHM LOOK AT THIS EXTREMELY LITTLE MEOW MEOW I MADE?????????? 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡 ISN'T HE JUST STUNNING ((listen I don't //own// any ''''official'''"" merch or whatever which is a crying shame, like I couldn't find anything in Vienna even :( not that I'm too surprised, but desperate times call for desperate measures -))

#Notes to the opera populaire #Re the book one ive DEFINITELY read other books but they dont really stand out as books //about him// which is why #I picked a book i havent read over them...... I WILL attain it. I WILL attain it. I w #Anyway other notable mentions are the archduke and the assassin by lavender cassels which is decent #Esp in the first half where shes writing him but it doesnt quite hit after - gets more political abt the pre war situation than biographica #The secret of sarajevo satisfies my sweet tooth but it is VERY airy-fairy so i cant say it's like. Objectively good djnsksbdjkshc #And re the media question i think theres an austrian tv series which hes in???? Im mad curious about that one #Bc the guy playing him looks like he's done comedy from stalking his Instagram page and theres like one (1) photo he looks franzi enough #((i mean not q there ofc bc. Truly 👁️👄👁️ BUT))#he also does look sufficiently awkward in one of the behind the scenes shorts and im optimistic!!1!1!1 i have to be bc there is NOTHING 💀#Anyway. Yeah i am also trying to get my hands on that I'm deadass the let me in!!! Meme @ everything #aLSO..... RE STUFF I ALSO. HAVE UHM. A MASK WITH THE ASSASSINATION ARTICLE ON IT & A GRAPHIC TEE & A STICKER OF MY ICON aka my sisters joke #History #Edit: he doesn't look like franzi would it kill to give ur actors light blue contacts at least or like the right hairstyle ffbfjfjdjdjdjdk #Edit 2: hitler and the habsburgs started out promising and i liked whatever they had to say about franzi!#The author even picked up that he was ND in some way and i was like yeah...... But then the writing got increasingly subjective #And there were no footnotes/in text citations to boot either which :///// anyway i couldn't even finish it just got too annoying sO

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yikez · 2 years

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me : *constantly talks to him* *asks for advice* *shows him exams from other classes* *tries to get his attention* *tries to get him to compliment me* *vaguely tells him about my issues so he asks about it*

also me : surely he doesn't know i see him as a father figure 😋👍

#btw despite trying all this he doesn reciprocate #i mean kinda #i mean it's complicated #like i told him a guy in my class who is very right wing makes me uncomfortable because of the things he says #and when that guy called somone gay as an insult and called someone the r slur my teacher got realllyyyyy mad #cuz he knows I'm a lesbian and I've hinted at thinking i might be nd #and my friend who sits next to me is actually ND soooo that didn't fly well with my teacher and I'm so happy he said something #and he immediately looked at me after!!!! i was having a really bad day that day and it made it so much better #but like whenever i say something mean about myself #like not in a compliment fishing way but rather as a I'm insecure so it just comes out of my mouth way #he doesn't disagree #and i know as a teacher you generally shouldn't be the one person to therapize your student #but like a little don't say that about yourself would be great #also I'm like the best in his class but I'm a perfectionist because of that and i keep being 1 point away from full points #and like he just makes fun of me for it #i know he means it nicely and that's just his humor and why i like him in the first place #but I've never gotten a good job from him #maybe he's just not a complimenting type?? i wish he would say one single nice thing about me though #he DOES recommend me a bunch of stuff and we talk a lot and that's probably how he shows he cares #so I'm trying to get used to that instead of expecting words of affirmations #teacher crush community #tcc #father figure teachers

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justonefeather · 5 months

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Hfhsjjakkak remembered today how I first met NH guy (well, we met before but sort of in passing and we didn't talk at the time) and he was with someone and I remember thinking wow, I really like him, but I can't entertain the idea most people don't do polyamory, I'm probably never gonna see him again but damn I like him a lot. Then we became good friends. And it's like so much "we could have been, if I was different" and I want to SCREAM I knew I should have shut down that feeling the second I recognized it but I didn't and I've truly paid the price 🙃

#The price being pain #Idk look I'm not gonna say anything more to him. I told him how I felt and he said no because I'm poly and he doesn't think it would work #And I'm not going to push anyone into anything. But it definitely hurt #Like . If I could be normal don't u think I would be. If I could cause myself to have LESS issues in life wouldn't I do it??#I thought as a kid I'd grow out of this and I didn't and it hurts being told like yeah just this piece of how u operate and love is(..)#.. bad. It's not just him it's in general like. I'm sorry I can't stop myself from liking people #And just. Not seeing sex and love as being the same circle for me they overlap but are not intertwined #Idk maybe it's just part of being nd the way I see and explain things but I feel alone in this sometimes lol #Anyway ty for coming to my ted talk #🪶.exe

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pixiethoughtsfairyfeelings · 9 months

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#literally kill me #im so fuckin stressed #and she keeps adding to it #nd then #wants to know where my stress is coming from?? doesn't understand why i would be stressed?#and THEN has the audacity to say she doesnt want to add to HIS stress #because he's her little boy #LIKE AS IF WE'RE NOT BOTH ADULTS #AND HE'S PERFECTLY XAPABLE OF DOING SHIT HIMSELD #yeah #i fucking hate it here #i can't get one MINUTE to myself #me and my mommy issues :)))))))

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oscill4te · 11 months

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I honestly tolerate way more weird shit than i should but never realize how bad it is it bc dissociation

#a coworker asked me if another coworker was making me uncomfortable #i told them the truth that yes he does. and i told my coworker what exactly he does to me #and my coworker just looked disgusted. not at me but at the weird coworker. nd #coworker said i should report it to our store manager but i honestly feel scared.#i dissociate so bad i just let stuff happen bc im not all there. im checked out #and talking to a manager about it scares me. ive had creepier coworkers so this guy doesn't bother me #but i realize i should say something bc hes likely doing it to other people... so i should on their behalf #itd be easier to make a case i guess..#its complicated idk..#ok i lied on the tags- he does bother me but dissociation boxes that discomfort away for me #it feels weird for someone to say 'thats fucked up' about the things youve learnt to just tolerate #maybe i need to learn how to feel anger again

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enakane · 1 year

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Just finished watching Sabikui Bisco and i'm definitely feeling some type of way. Dunno what way but im feeling something? Music was banging tho

#personal #was it queerbaiting? it felt like queerbaiting #SPOILER ALERT for the next tags #bisco and milo h*old h*nds then milo says “i love you” in the episode called “i love you” (seemed significant to me???)#the ending song is literally them singing a duet (except while bisco is dead which was a great touch)#bisco comes back to life for milo #then milo's sister calls dibs??? and milo kept telling bisco that he should totally go out with his sister anytime they had a moment #then milo and bisco walk off into the sunset????#so confused #no need to talk about the story. that was even weirder #love the mushrooms i guess? that was cool #the worldbuilding was great too i loved the giant creatures #but the story was honestly a “turn your brain off” situation #apparently the light novels are even weirder so 🤷‍♀️#it's such a shame bc the worldbuilding is actually amazing and it looks gorgeous and the art is beautiful #but the story is convoluted and a lot doesn't make sense (how do they always know where to find each other?)#why didn't they kill kurokawa WAY earlier?? they 100% could have #anyway rant over but the ?queerbait? had me so confused

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shotmrmiller · 17 hours

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Simon doesn't care how he comes. He doesn't care if it's your smaller hand wrapped around his fattened cock, tugging it with a gentle twist, smearing the bead of arousal that's welled up from his slit with your thumb. Doesn't care that he usually fucks his fist roughly after a hard day's work with blood still crusted on his fingernails, hard enough to ache. The way you sit beside him, the soft swell of your breasts pressed against the corded muscle of his arm, murmuring words of praise that have his cheeks alight with a rosy glow—

He doesn't care if you use your mouth (you asked, ofc) your mouth is warm around him, the gummy inside of your cheeks slippery— the constricting back of your throat even more so. He sits still, like a good boy, not bucking his hips up, not pushing your head down to take as much of him as you can.

Doesn't care if you make him fuck your thighs— intercrural, you'd called it. How could he when your soft thighs are so smooth and pliable, enveloping his leaky cock with their warmth? Certainly doesn't mind when he glides his head along your slick folds, occasionally catching your swollen clit, hearing your little sharp intakes of breath.

Simon doesn't care where he comes, either. If it's a hand job, he spurts hot, viscous pleasure onto his pudgy stomach, coating the dark trail of hair below his navel and making a mess of your hand. (If you lick his come off your fingers, he's asking you to grow old with him asap)

If it's a blow job, he'll give you a heads-up with a rumbled, "'m, close, so close—" and that's your cue to either pull away, let him paint your cheeks with his spend, or swallow every single drop. (Or let it drip onto his jeans, none of it matters just don't stop)

He'll slicken your inner thighs with his sticky cum, scoop up some of it with his callused fingers, and slather it over your puffy pussy, using it as lube to rub you to completion.

So, when you casually ask him how he feels about a breeding kink as if you were commenting on the weather, his heart threatens to burst out of his chest. Are you asking him for a kid?

But you don't notice how his pupils dilate a fraction or how the skin around his eyes tightens, the corners forming small creases as you continue. "Because I'd been thinking," a small pause, "to spice things up a little—" before he even gets a word in, you raise your hands up in a calming gesture. "Not like there's anything wrong with what we're doing now."

There's a subtle shake to your hands and the grooves of your palms catch the light. Sweaty. You're nervous. This isn't just about him filling you with his cum. He's already done that before— pressed his tip right into your swollen entrance mere moments before finishing. he lets you gather your thoughts, unsnag the words caught in your throat.

And when you finally steel your nerves and say what you want to say (garble, more like) the shrill ringing in his ears is deafening. "You wan' me to wear a rubber 'nd let you take it off." Had he misheard?

The way your bottom lip is caught between your teeth, gaze lowered to the ground, your fingers twisting and turning, uncertain. So he hadn't. Well. How could he say no? Granted, he doesn't understand it, but for his girl? Anything.

He comes to understand it the very first time it happens.

Rolling on the rubber hadn't been different. nor the way he gently stretched you with one finger, two. The spit he'd used as lube to cause you as little discomfort as possible mingling with your own slick, dripping down his rugged knuckles. He takes his time as always, slipping between your spread thighs, watching your face twist, kiss-swollen lips part as he sinks into your heat. He goes slow, hearing you hiss between your teeth, your blunt nails sinking into his chest. He'll have red, angry welts later alongside his dog tags. Claimed by both duty and his little love. "Marked like property," he'd joked once.

You hadn't found it so funny. (Johnny got it though.)

Even with the very small difference in sensation, you're still the best thing he's ever felt. You take him like you're meant for him and maybe you are, but he smothers that train of thought quickly with a heavy hand lest he finish when the fun's just begun.

He feels you shift, even with his body weight that presses down on you with the gravity of a boulder, and he sinks to the root— like a pebble falling into still waters. Your nails tear skin, draw blood. The biting sting of it sends a shiver that sweeps over his goosepimpled skin, arousal tangling in his spine. He bucks his hips in reflex, hard enough to jolt you upward. The discomfort on your face quickly melts away, the sweetened burn of his thick cock prying your tender walls apart finally bleeding into white-hot pleasure.

Simon thrusts again, this time deliberately. Again. And again. He keeps them shallow, dragging the ribbed edges of the condom along your sensitive nerves, gently trying to coax a lazy orgasm out of you— the ones that always leave you syrupy and warm.

He focuses on you. Swirls your peaked nipples with his thumb, nestles his face in the crook of your neck, warm breath fanning over your heated skin. Simon licks a hot stripe over your fluttering pulse, presses a chaste kiss on it, nips your sensitive skin with a little too much pressure when you squeeze down around him—

Cheeky minx.

He snaps his hips, hard enough to rattle your spine, hard enough to hear the way the oxygen is ripped from your lungs. Simon keeps at it, resolute in getting you to the edge, dragging you with him, taking you over.

And then he hears you slur out a couple of words through your gasps. "C'ndom," you mewl, "the condom, off."

Right. He peels himself off of you. He'd almost forgotten —

You're impatient, pushing him away with your bare feet on his chest until he pulls out with a pop, trembling fingers reaching his twitching cock. The rubber comes off after a moment and while he's distracted by the creamy slick coating it, you're already putting him back in you, and your cunt feels sublime.

Divinity. He feels intoxicated.

The pleasure he felt before feels muted now, in comparison. Dull, almost. You feel hot, almost burning— swallowing him up, wet, so wet. The way your walls flutter around him jumbles his thoughts, tangles his tongue. He grinds down onto you with grit teeth, nostrils flared as he tries to keep the searing coil in his gut from unspooling, but he fears it's a losing battle. Beads of sweat roll down the side of his face as he fucks into your tight cunt with a hunger that borders on desperation.

He can see, and hear, that it's different for you too. Your keens and mewls are loud, nails scoring trails of red down his back. Simon leans back a bit, enough to let you watch his cock split you open, strings of sticky arousal connecting between you two. When he changes angle, aiming for your (and his) favorite spot with precision, the squeal you let out stiffens his spine.

Simon needs to hear it again. He grabs you by the cheeks, forcing you to look at him with those pretty, glassy eyes that glimmer with tears. Saliva pools in his mouth at the thought of tasting salt. "Like tha'?" The delicate strands of your eyelashes are clumped together with overwhelming sensation.

When you don't answer, he gives your hood a gentle tap, striking right above your clit. "I asked you a question." He grunts when your pussy almost strangles his cock at his gravelly tone. Simon will remember that for later.

"Yes," you breathe. "Yes, god, just like that." As a reward, he uses his thumb to draw tight little circles over your pearl, fucking you with his full weight behind every thrust. The blissful expression on your features, spit glistening in the corner of your lips, your hand flat, fingers spread wide over your lower belly as if to feel him from the outside— it's enough to almost toss him over that crumbling edge.

But he takes more. Selfish, greedy. Takes what's his with fervor; wholly, unapologetically. "This," he pushes until he can go no more, his tip meeting a firm resistance, "is better than everythin' I've ever had." Maybe it's a stupid thing to say, right here when he's rearranging your guts around to make room for his fat cock, but he's drunk off of you.

There's no thinking clearly with the slick noises echoing in the stuffy room. There's no seeing clearly when his world has narrowed to a single point of contact.

You're squeezing around him like a vise, tight enough that his nerve endings prick with pain. But he keeps going. He takes, he gives, he yearns to watch you unfurl at the edges forever, on his fingertips, on his tongue, his cock but you—

You are both his ecstasy and ruin. He can see it in the way the corners of your pretty mouth curl upward, teasing, eyes glinting with mischief, with the same kind of trouble that ensnared him into your orbit that one lousy night.

"Come in me."

Bloody fucking trouble.

(He wants all of it. The you who'll complain about the hard surface of the kitchen table he'll bend you over. The purple marks he'll pepper on your neck, your collarbone. The you that fights tooth and nail over him eating beans on toast.)

He watches you with half-lidded eyes as his fingers and his cock toss you overboard into the tumultuous sea of euphoria and then— when you're a drooling, limp mess— only then, does he finally surrender, balls drawn up painfully tight,

and fills you to the brim, until there's no more room left in your swollen, greedy pussy. Until it spills from your hole in thick rivulets, until there's no more of him left to give.

(He doesn't do rings. It'll get the both of you killed should he ever get caught. Maybe a tattoo for him and a band for you? Gotta text Price in the morning.) <- oh what barebacking does to a simple man such as he.

this was supposed to have been a 600 word drabble hello. he's clingy and squishy and so sickeningly in his emotions.

#call of duty #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #cod mw2 #cod mwii #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x f reader #simon ghost riley smut #cod smut #simon ghost riley x you #simon riley smut #simon riley x you

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