#never have been more stressed lmao

[embarrassinglastwords]

JJK 226 SPOILERS

gojo’s eye theory

#not to mention the one eyed cat in the opening #i’m freaking out #never have been more stressed lmao #i’m gonna be sick #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk manga spoilers #jjk spoilers #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #jjk 226 #batposting

[corvidiss]

Fem Noir Detectives Masterpost

Hello people! Been some muddling recently because different versions of posts have been reblogged by different people and things are getting lost. So here's a post with links to all the full versions of every Fem Noir Detectives Universe post I can find!

The Original Thread, including: Both illustrations, IDs for the illustrations, my extended thoughts on the two, and some further discussion involving phoenixian-cluster-amaryllis and tartrazeen. .

The Original Thread, including: Both illustrations, IDs for the illustrations, my extended thoughts on the two, acarillustrated's drawings including both women, naming Emery, and name discussion with casual-owl. .

The Original Thread, including: Both illustrations, IDs for the illustrations, my extended thoughts on the two, acarillustrated's drawings including both women, naming Emery, a couple more thoughts about the characters' relationship and story etc, a bunch of cool scenes written by xbritomartx, acarillustrated's drawings in response to that, and my response to those drawings including time period thoughts. .

The post about unhinged-ness and preferred methods of defence and attack, including casual-owl's addition about noir detective archetypes. .

The post about unhinged-ness and preferred methods of defence and attack, not including casual-owl's addition but with "weapon of choice" addition. .

The post with most of the art, including the original pieces (Emery's portrait updated to look better), acarillustrated's femme and homme fatales, and their art of Emery and Liz interacting. This post does not have IDs. .

Acarillustrated's original post with the femme and homme fatales. This post does not have IDs. .

My post about The Other Side of Paradise fitting Emery. .

My little doodle of Emery holding unconscious Liz. .

Deciding on the tag "webster & nicholson". .

More drawings of the fatales, with a side of more Emery and Liz, by acarillustrated. This does not have an ID. .

The Original Post, including: both illustrations and prismatic-bell's take on my art; Marjorie Franklin. This version does not have IDs. .

The Original Post, including: both illustrations and squareallworthy's take on my art; Slivia Dupré. This version does not have IDs. .

More info on Slivia Dupré by squareallworthy. .

An ask and my response about Emery and children. .

Pathetic meow meow women post. .

Full illustration of Liz and Emery (with probable Yvette cameo) with an ID and my comments.

I will update this as and when I discover more posts or more posts are made. Please let me know if I've missed something!

(Tagging the original gang and everyone who's showed interest since: @elytrians @acarillustrated @casual-owl @mist-the-wannabe-linguist @xbritomartx @tartrazeen @phoenixian-cluster-amaryllis @a-ginger-in-black @prismatic-bell @squareallworthy. Apologies if you didn't want to be tagged, and do let me know if you'd like to avoid that in future, or if you see this and want to be tagged in future posts.)

#webster & nicholson #female noir detectives #emery nicholson #elizabeth webster #man the attention on Emery recently has been Mildly Stressful lmao. i never want to be well-known #i may be making a mistake making this but whatever #accuracy and documentation are more important to me than my mental stability tbh /half-joking #also thank you so very much tartrazeen for your help finding posts; i may have gone mad without it <3

[izzy-b-hands]

im ngl i had a lil breakdown before my shower (which i took just before i went to bed to chill and watch the new eps) abt some thought-id-already-worked-all-thru-it irl stuff that resurfaced on me like trauma tends to and i just

it made everything in the show so. I don't know how to say it right. but i feel seen and understood and emotionally overwhelmed in a safe yet weird way, just like i did with a lot of s1 and I am Feeling So Much akdnfkgb (i cannot stress enough that this is a Good Thing and I'm absolutely thrilled and happy with the new eps and like. Going to be fine mentally I just gotta wrangle this like i have the times before.)

#text post #god i need a therapist that specialises in PTSD when i can afford therapy again #in the meantime recognition of the self thru the admired other while im in this state weirdly helps #makes me feel like im gonna burst out of my skin and I'm blasting metal in my ear buds to deal with that for now #gonna sleep eventually #i think lmao #im fine honestly bc like. this is not my first breakdown by any means but just. the fucking timing could not have been better #that said i both need a hug and absolutely could not handle being touched rn so that's something #no one's gonna read this far so im gonna just let myself have one little extra messy vent in that #my stupid fucking dad triggered part of this last one and I'm so mad abt it #he doesn't give two fucks abt me now (but he'd pretend to if he saw me in person bc jason LOVES keeping up appearances) #and he would just do a little nod and smile and talk over me telling him all that's happened this last year #i moved across the fucking country with help from friends so i wouldn't wind up dead in ND #and that's the thing i keep surviving and I dont understand why when I'm so often stressed and struggling to want to live #that and more has been sitting weighing and i just. want to tell him all of this and for him to be proud of me #he'll never be proud of me the way i want bc even my mum hasn't pulled that off #where they're proud of me as I am with no caveats or hiding parts of myself #if u think this is bad pls know i deleted a maximum tags tag essay/trauma dump just before this on this post lmao #i am In The Soup rn but it's gonna be fine #gonna rewatch s2 eps and be slightly but safely triggered by bits of ed and izzys stuff and get stoned and try to. process feelings #find some ptsd therapy worksheets online like dr. blohm suggested i try #forgive me the long tags and scroll by it fast if u want/need friends ill try to contain my current mess to this post & few others

[todayisafridaynight]

Wanna put your friend in a lil terrarium just to see what wacky things she does stg 😂

i actually Cannot Stress the migraine she gives me every time we hang out. like without fail she'll always say or do something that ranges from mildly questionable or irritating but relatively Whatever to How Have You Survived This Long Without Burning Your House Down Boiling An Egg

#snap chats #and then there's her just forgetting things or being late despite the amount of times ill remind her #and i keep stressing to her i cannot stand it when people are late. and then she shows up to things an hour late anyway #or 'when shes late' by fifteen minutes because she didnt think to text me she's there. and im already stressed and annoyed I. UGH i swear. #LIKE. i have only really had two irl friends and both of them i lowkey had to parent in some way #at least my childhood bestie she's like. she's grown a lot and even if i havent spoken to her in a while im real proud of her right #THIS MOTHERFUCKER THO. OUUUUUGGGH.... youre not supposed to say anythin if you dont got nothin nice to say #which is contradictory to the main body text but point is let me Not be any more mean than how ive been already LMAO #even funnier about her looking at that comic is that LITERALLY masumi says he's talking to jo ☠️☠️☠️☠️ #did i already say i have to remind her who jo is every three seconds #like the entirety of chap 2 when ichi's out of jail she was all 'why doesnt he just say who ACTUALLY killed the guy' #and then when we finally run into the fuckass who 'actually killed the guy' she's just 'wait who's that' #then i tell her and shes like 'oh my god he's so old now' IT'S BEEN 18 YEARS DUMBASS #ngl did wanna make a comic based off that LMAO BUT POINT IS she tests my patience every day and i think its good practice #if im going to work with people in the future like ohh.. my god.... #she told me once she's never been on a date and its like. yeah i wonder why you can't even be assed to show up on time to hangouts ☠️ #like ive never had friends so maybe im just insane.. im not insane for wanting people to be on time tho.... #OK IM BEING TOO MEAN LET ME CAP IT THERE

[sea-buns]

the things my mind will do to NOT have to face the consequences of a traumatic story arc

"oh so and so died last week? and the new episode is tonight? hmm sounds like it'll be a good one...

.....y'know i've really been meaning to get into [absolute rabbit hole of a fandom]"

#it just feels like today should be a break week day #like my guy just passed LAST thursday and you want me to come back? for MORE? of what? that?? #yeah no i need another week to mentally prepare and then ill be right with you please and thank you #i never actually watch the rebroadcast in the mornings cuz it feels weird watching cr with the sun shining #but the thought of locking in for 4 more hours of stress tonight is not for me #so maybe ill catch it on yt and watch while i play sdv or something #yknow balance out the stress with a game that is deceptively stressful but in a different way lmao #plus i still havent finished the fhjy episode so. im busy lol #the fandom that my brain is trying to use as an excuse to miss the live btw is naddpod #ive been keeping up with dnd court cuz its just fun sillies that require none of my attention or brain power #so i havent gotten into a campaign yet but i think about it a lot. i know ill like it and thatll be the end of me #but anyway good luck tonight critters! #the temptation might have me idly popping into stream but heres to hoping no one else perishes! :'D #critical role #sea rambles

[calamitydaze]

long tag ramble below u have been warned

#ok i feel like i should say Something before i start being active again #but i dont want it to be a Statement which is why i’m putting it in the tags #(also bc i procrastinated doing this for weeks so i know this is a very stale topic by now #but i also haven’t been on tumblr literally at all so this is 100% my organic authentic opinion lmao) #so read if you gaf and ignore if you don’t #anyway: george def could’ve done more to ensure she was comfortable #and as someone who has also gotten in over my head with older men and regretted it #her hurt is valid and i’m deeply sorry she feels the way she does about that night #but with that said i see no reason to believe george Should have known how she really felt #or that he deliberately took advantage of either her youth/inexperience or her discomfort #and that’s the most important thing for me— he fucked up and misread a situation but that doesn’t make him an evil person #and i hope they can both move on and grow and heal #as for my future in the fandom: i honestly dunno how active i’ll be going forward #i was already becoming pretty disconnected so this might’ve just sped up the process? i’m tired of being put through the wringer #but i also don’t really have a fandom to replace this so i might just continue casually participating in the way i have been #either way rest assured i will never become a rabid anti. that shits embarrassing #i got HORRIBLE drolo rsd the other day when tommy’s mom needed clout and vagued him so like if nothing else. droloisms are forever #also as a last thing— this feels kinda silly and self centered to say but i will anyway #sorry for not opening up my blog as a forum for discussion again the way i did with the drituation #i know i helped a lot of people sort out their feelings and that was (and is) really really important to me #but it also tanked my mental health (mostly as a result of the fallout and not the act itself but still) #plus my life irl was pretty stressful at the time when everything was first going down #so i just didn’t feel up to putting myself through that again #but i’m sorry if anyone wanted to discuss w me but wasn’t able to #anyway. i think that’s all i have to say! #i don’t want to turn this into a capital D discussion but as always my askbox and dms are open #love you all tons! i hope you’re having a good day 🫂🫶 #bella talks

[tardis--dreams]

God i could have such a chill evening if it wasn't for that doctor's appointment tomorrow morning looming over me

#this wouldn't be so stressful if i didn't have to take a train to get there #the ride is only 4 minutes but i have to walk to the dr's office for 1.8 km which is about 24 minutes #but i haven't really been to this town before and don't know the way so i have to use maps to get there #and the appointment is at 8:30am and the train i would Like to take is scheduled for 7:54 am which would be fine #if the fucking bahn worked and was punctual for once but there's no punctual trains in this godforsaken country #so my anxiety tells me that this train will arrive 8:15 am at the earliest instead of at 7:58am #so i would be late and i can't be late i would just kill myself #but if i want to play it safe i have to take the train 30 minutes earlier which would mean I'd have one hour #to walk there and I'm Really not in the mood of just spending 30 minutes waiting outside like a weirdo because i have too much time left #so my options are either take the risk and be relatively punctual rather than having 35 minutes left to spare #or just waste an hour of my life because I'm too afraid to potentially be late #also the fact i have to wait for a train back home again and cannot plan this at all because idk how long I'll be in the office #is so annoying #and also I've never been to this doctor and i don't know how the whole thing will go and how the rooms and everything look like #and it's stressing me out #also that i have to plan at least 2 hours for an appointment that probably won't take longer than 5 minutes #because of the fucking trains #anyway #i should go to sleep now #40 hours without sleep and not more than 4 hours on average the days before have left me broken lmao #i gotta practice my lines though. i cannot go in without a rehearsed script. gotta be careful around doctors and choose your words wisely #otherwise they won't take you seriously or think you're overdramatic and dismiss any concern as 'anxiety' #yeah no i don't trust them- i hate relying on them- let me be free ahhh #void screams

[trashpremiium]

ough how do you remember how to be a human person

#i need friends lmao #i mean. i have friends #but they’re all so far away rn #and so i can talk to them but not much else #i need people to spend time with #i need to do things #all i do is sleep and sit around #trying to fill time thats otherwise completely void #i need to go outside #but even if i go and do something #it’s always alone #maybe with a family member. but that’s more stressful than just being by myself #i forgot. it’s always been like this #why did i forget this is how i work? #i’ve never been someone that does things with others #i’m always alone. i’ve always been alone. #it was stupid of me to have one person #who actually wanted to spend time around me #and think that suddenly that was how it was supposed to go #people don’t spend time with me. that’s not how this works #zephyr talks

[blabbin]

been lookin thro my folder of months-old art that i only shared with like a handful of people hhhh and i dont hate how they look surprisingly. most of it is Cuno and Annette (shocker ik)

might clean up the doobles and finally post them bc theres just not enough stuff of these two out there !!!

#i so rarely post art publicly im sorry im a coward 😔 #but dang it if i dont post them who will!!! #gotta do everything myself in this damn house #man i havent really been active online ive been so busy and tired #but these lil guys have not left my mind #i wish i could draw more i have way too long a list of ideas that i just never get to lmao and when i do try it never looks good 🥲 #might be fun to redraw/clean some old doodles instead of trying something new. less stressful. idk. we'll see #blabbin

[magnoliamyrrh]

.

#...... i think too its not just that im bony #its all the new cuts too #...this is the first time after uhhh. round 2 of taking things way too far that ive seen myself. alone. naked. in a coldly lit changing #room #like #fuck #we really did a number on this body #ive been joking for a long time that i look like an okapi or a zebra but like... damn #idk they dont bother me. they never have #im not grosses out by them or even ashamed nor do i even think theyre ugly honestly. but #along with all the bones i just had this feeling of like. oh lol this aint normal. again like..... I looked like A Creature #which on one hand kinda sick bc slightly nonhuman looking half dead but still beautiful but kinda scary creature is exactly what i was #going for in my teen years. and w the meds ive achieved it with 0 severe anorexic stress or obsession or even feeling hunger basically at #all. just empty #but im...older now #and. yea idk if that's really the standard i have anymore #.......what i see now is just. wear. i see my pain and trauma and my souls repeted death. in the way this flesh looks #..... i think back then i used to get a lot more enjoyment out of having a physical representation of how bad im doing psychologically #but i just. dont enjoy my own pain and suffering that much anymore lmao. even i managed to get fed up with the masochism past a certain #point #..... and i think its also that. while im definitely not great (i did spend the last weeks to months posting on here abt how i wanna die #every day lmao) ive also been A LOT worse #all the scars are from... a lot worse. all the bones - i usually only saw them like this when i was a lot worse #..... its almost like idk. looking at it (me) with more sober eyes #.....i hate how tired i look too #i really need to quit smokiny #that shits doing me worse than the not eating or the cutting or any other damn thing

[trans-xianxian]

hmm feeling very weird abt my job lately.. I love the kids and it's a very easy and comfortable job for the kind of work that it is but I just always feel kept out of the loop on important stuff that everybody else seems to know. like the program I work with does summer camps and nobody told me that it might not happen this year until it was actually approved to happen. but all of my other coworkers were aware of this and nobody thought that maybe that was important info for me to have?? this itsnt even the only instance of me not being told work stuff that everyone else is made aware of

I'm also just so unclear about the rules? like for the kids? I've worked there since the beginning of the school year and there are Still things I don't know if the kids are allowed to do and not for lack of trying. this has bothered me from the beginning like. it doesn't make me appear to be a very responsible and reliable adult or authority figure to the kids when I'm always having to defer to my boss/co teacher about what is and is not allowed. I've literally never worked in an education/childcare environment where the rules were so unclear and flip floppy or where I have no input on classroom expectations

idk I just don't rlly feel like a respected or valued part of the team which is not only frustrating on a base level of like. that's not how you should feel at your job but also like... the kids pick up on that dynamic and take me and my instructions for them less seriously and I often don't feel listened to by them not because they're disrespectful kids or they don't like me but because they see me as less of an authority figure because thats how I'm treated by my boss. and it's like I Know that I'm not bad at my job. I am a good teacher and have literally never experienced this kind of thing before it's just so weird and uncomfortable

not to mention I always feel left out socially but like. that's true in most places. this sounds kind of pathetic lmao but I am used to not fitting in by now I've spent 21 years this way it would be silly of me to be surprised by it at this point but that doesn't make me feel any less lonely and down when I'm left out of social experiences everybody else gets to be a part of

these aren't recent things but I think w everything else going on in my life at the moment its all weighing on me more, and I definitely feel like my boss has been treating me differently and not as well ever since my mom died and I also get the impression that she's getting tired of me still not being able to do certain things because of my foot. idk it's like I came back from my week off after my mom passed and she's just been so much less friendly? I thought I was maybe making it up in my state of emotional distress but it's Only her being like this

but like... I don't want to make any dramatic career choices while going through a difficult part of my life personally and emotionally. I don't want to decide to not come back next year or work for a different summer camp while I'm Not Having A Good Time, but it's also hard to feel great at a job I don't feel like I fit in at while I'm also Not Having A Good Time. it's all made even harder by the fact that I rlly love my students and would feel sad not to see them again next year

#also like. I would hope that if my boss had a problem with my work #she would talk to me about it #like if there was something wrong w the way I'm doing my job I'd hope she would just discuss it with me? #that is both the fair thing to do and the thing that would get her what she wants #idk the stuff abt me not being in the loop about summer camp esp bothers me #I've truly been told rlly nothing about it and only hear things when my coworkers talk abt it as if its stuff everyone knows #like. am I going to get fired lmao #and like. I'm good at what I do!! I'm a good teacher!!! I've literally never had this before! #and its not because I'm the youngest one there there are two more teachers who are my age #idk maybe I Do need to do the summer camp I worked at last year #come back to this job next school year after taking a little break and being in a more traditional teaching environment for a little while #even tho that job was more stressful and exhausting maybe a more organized environment would actually be good for me #ugh. need to decide by april first tho because thats when I have to get back to the other summer camp by 😭 #sighhh #ghost posts #text

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

#the eddie happened a couple days ago&i keep seeing footage of tourists almost getting dragged out into the ocean. #&-- this cannot be stressed enough-- i find this hilarious bc no one died&also bc i am inherently a bad person lmao. #but also bc like. this is an excellent example of WHY locals cannot fucking stand tourists lmao. #the eddie is a surf competition that is only held when the surf can match the height necessary for the competition. #like this is one of the most dangerous&prestigious surf competitions in the world. the lifeguards they have watching the beach #are seasoned pros who regularly drag ppl out of north shore riptides. which is a good thing bc despite all this #&despite all the lifeguard warnings&despite not one singular local being on the shore #tourists got swept up&there was a mad scramble that STOPPED THE COMPETITION bc they needed to drag whole families out the water. #several lifeguards almost died trying to save someones dog. #this competition is only held when waimea's waves cap 30ft-- they have cancelled the competition before bc #waves were smaller than anticipated. its specifically named to honour Eddie Aikau a surfer who died setting out to sea #to try to save the Hokulea the first time it went out sailing w/ no navigation equipment&got stuck in a calm belt. #all these facts together give me a headache when i think of how much more regulated this stupid competition is going to be #when there have NEVER been issues like this before mostly bc the eddie isnt usually announced so so many tourists show up. #ive never even gotten to GO ppl line up down the north shore for literally a day in advance to be able to see it happen. #chxjjsbxkxbjsxnajxnsj 🙃🙃🙃

[grapejuicegay]

I never do liveblogs but this ep was correctly numbered and definitely a 10/10 and i have thoughts and no solid way of arranging them so

Has anyone been keeping track of when we’ve seen Kim wearing a ring on his left index? If he wasn’t wearing it at the school performance where he first met Chay (and if he’s wearing it when he’s snooping in Korn’s room) then he definitely wears it when he’s Kimlock Holmesing

“I’ve always thought I was very unlucky” Chay’s softness is a CHOICE - likely one he made so that Porsche feels less guilty about the way they grew up. Chay knows all the sacrifices Porsche made for him and he knows that him being unhappy in any way would make Porsche spiral

Holy shit Chay’s reflexes. Porsche trained that boy

Kinn is so upset today he not only isn’t showing titty under his shirt but buttoned up his suit jacket. This is unprecedented sad Kinn

KIM KINN INTERACTION CRUMBS

does vegas work in his kink room? why does he have a hedgehog there? the rest if all fine you do you, just explain your organizational structure to me like ?????

I FUCKING KNEW ITTTTTT AKSJDLFJDS DK FUCK YOU KEN

so that’s the shirt vegas wears while electrocuting who i thought would be pete... but it may be tawan. putting it here just so i can check - LMAO NOPE NEVERMIND

there’s the reckless porsche from ep 2 everybody’s been missing - the fucking bigmouth while he’s tied up, overpowered, his brother tied up and unconscious right in front of him. he gives me so much stress jfc

finally, someone actually shot tawan... nevermind. fuck.

kim went and changed outfits for the shootout.....

poor big. he’s really trying his best

vegas tawan’ed tawan

WHERE are the singed butts? I KNOW their butts are singed and hanging out with the way they’re wearing those coats. we were robbed

anyway rip big you tried your best

korn, tldr: i’m not going to kill you, just your ego

#WHAT A GOOD EPISODE #i love that chay's a little bit more in the fold too now #wanna see how that plays out with kim #wait... does chay know who kim is yet? #i mean he has to have some idea right kim and porsche both showed up to save him and know the same dead bodyguard (rip) #hoooly shit that's going to be fun #AND MAYBE CHAY WASN'T CRYING ABOUT A STOLEN SONG???? POOR BABY #but really i've never been this stressed about someone being kidnapped and hurt as i was with chay #i've imprinted on this child #< is this me speaking or kim lmao #no but what did kinn forget oh no #is this foreshadowing for smth or am i being really dumb #also... lots of thoughts about tankhun that i'm still trying to process but.... interesting. very interesting. #MAN THIS WAS GREAT #thank you uncle tong #kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#i genuinely cant think of anything i want for Christmas. maybe skin tone copics but that's literally the only thing #im like the worst person to do things for honestly. there r so many rules and the things i want r so specific that its really not worth it #like i already have too much stuff. the amount of stuff i have rn in this tiny apartment stresses me out #i dont need more. i only work and draw so like i really dont need anything??? #so i honestly dont kno wtf to tell my family. like idk give me 25 bucks and ill buy a game on steam #except i wanna get games when break starts and now after Christmas so actually dont do that #idk just dont buy me anything. and dont make me buy anything. im already spiraling #and i might b moving across the fucking ocean in the next year so like idk i dont need more stuff #uuuugh im just avoiding doing things. like interview practice. and writing. and lab work #im just tired. maybe ill go to bed at like 9 lmao. avoid my problems until tomorrow #i would like to be excused from Christmas on account of having a breakdown. or just being a whiny brat #i really need to practice for the interview. bc im underqualified so i need to pretend it hasnt been 4 years since itook molecular genetics #and that i totally absolutely know lots about photosynthesis. definitely absolutely know what im doing. can i read? yes absolutely i can #understand words. ive never been sick in the head ever in my life and its a miracle. so pls give me money #uuuuuuuugh y brain? y dont u listen to me??? we have tasks! do them! pls! #unrelated