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#gonna sleep eventually
izzy-b-hands · 7 months
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im ngl i had a lil breakdown before my shower (which i took just before i went to bed to chill and watch the new eps) abt some thought-id-already-worked-all-thru-it irl stuff that resurfaced on me like trauma tends to and i just
it made everything in the show so. I don't know how to say it right. but i feel seen and understood and emotionally overwhelmed in a safe yet weird way, just like i did with a lot of s1 and I am Feeling So Much akdnfkgb (i cannot stress enough that this is a Good Thing and I'm absolutely thrilled and happy with the new eps and like. Going to be fine mentally I just gotta wrangle this like i have the times before.)
#text post#god i need a therapist that specialises in PTSD when i can afford therapy again#in the meantime recognition of the self thru the admired other while im in this state weirdly helps#makes me feel like im gonna burst out of my skin and I'm blasting metal in my ear buds to deal with that for now#gonna sleep eventually#i think lmao#im fine honestly bc like. this is not my first breakdown by any means but just. the fucking timing could not have been better#that said i both need a hug and absolutely could not handle being touched rn so that's something#no one's gonna read this far so im gonna just let myself have one little extra messy vent in that#my stupid fucking dad triggered part of this last one and I'm so mad abt it#he doesn't give two fucks abt me now (but he'd pretend to if he saw me in person bc jason LOVES keeping up appearances)#and he would just do a little nod and smile and talk over me telling him all that's happened this last year#i moved across the fucking country with help from friends so i wouldn't wind up dead in ND#and that's the thing i keep surviving and I dont understand why when I'm so often stressed and struggling to want to live#that and more has been sitting weighing and i just. want to tell him all of this and for him to be proud of me#he'll never be proud of me the way i want bc even my mum hasn't pulled that off#where they're proud of me as I am with no caveats or hiding parts of myself#if u think this is bad pls know i deleted a maximum tags tag essay/trauma dump just before this on this post lmao#i am In The Soup rn but it's gonna be fine#gonna rewatch s2 eps and be slightly but safely triggered by bits of ed and izzys stuff and get stoned and try to. process feelings#find some ptsd therapy worksheets online like dr. blohm suggested i try#forgive me the long tags and scroll by it fast if u want/need friends ill try to contain my current mess to this post & few others
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omg ok so i am listening 2 jrwi now idk how long ill go til i lose focus again and cant get it back BUT i just realised grizzlys wearing a hk shirt JUST as the greenpath track started playing in the bg :3 this is so cool
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lgbtlunaverse · 7 months
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the wangxian + a-yuan "dads with an adopted son" thing is fine and enjoyable in fanfics honestly but I think we as a fandom are really not utilizing the idea of all of them in unconventional familial structures enough. Like, canonically it wasn't so much that wwx was a-yuan's guardian as that a-yuan was being raised collectively by the wens and wwx was adopted INTO the larger wen family. And lwj got attached to him through that. A-yuan just has these very attached weird uncles/older cousin figures that aren't related to him by blood at all but keep sticking around.
Just think of a modern AU with a lot less death where lwj does as he does in canon and keeps showering a-yuan in gifts as much as he can and when wwx is like "aiyah lan zhan you're gonna spoil him. Not everyone is as rich as you! What's his family supposed to say if they can't buy him all the stuff you do?" lwj just goes "Hm". And from then on out every year once a-yuan's birthday is near the extended Wen family members (well. the ones that are invited that is. No one wants wen chao at a birthday party) wakes up to a wechat payment from lwj.
Random wen cousin number 6 texts granny like
cousin 6: i just got 400 yuan????
granny: oh that's just wangji
cousin 6: i've never met this guy in my life???
granny: he wants you to buy a-yuan a nice birthday present!
cousin 6: how does he know my bank account???
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rough day...
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screwpinecaprice · 9 months
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Sunday: Resting
No thoughts, just sleep.
Personal connverse week for an anonymous Ko-fi tipper! Prompts, details, and polaroid border effect also by anon.
And that's the last day of this series! Thank you for the Ko-fi anon! 😊
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camels-pen · 3 months
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the difference between zosopp and sanuso (romantic OR platonic) is that Usopp is Zoro's specialest little guy and Zoro is someone Usopp hangs out with and looks up to and hides behind when things get scary, but Sanji and Usopp are best friends. They horse around, they beat each other up, they confide their worst fears trying to one up each other. Usopp hides behind Sanji sometimes, sure, but idk, Sanji's weaknesses are more obvious (bugs, fighting women, etc) so there are times when Usopp has to stand in front of Sanji too, yknow?
Like, how do I say this, all the crewmates are equal- Usopp and Zoro are equals- but with Sanji it feels like more... comradery? Zoro's a rock in a terrible storm- even rocks tend to get weathered and chipped and worn down, but they overall stay strong and steady. He has trouble being vulnerable and there are times when the burden he's placed on himself to keep the crew safe is crushing his chest. Usopp would help with that and be very understanding, but the point I'm trying to get with that is that those moments are few and far between. So I feel like Usopp, especially after Water 7, would take Zoro's lead on something like that, and keep most of his worries to himself or only talk about them sparingly unless they're really bad and/or he can't hide them.
Sanji is like a tree in a storm; he can be strong, yes, but it feels like he bends and sways with the storm, and has more obvious breaking points. He can relate more to Usopp's struggles rather than resorting to blunt honesty that might border on callous like Zoro. And while, with Zosopp, I tend to think of scenarios with Zoro being blunt like that as a good thing- because sometimes when you're spiraling, it's nice to have someone say exactly what's great about you and shoot down all your worries with straight facts that you can't argue with- I can also see this as being a bad thing. Anxiety can really twist up your brain sometimes, you know? And despite the words, the tone could still mess someone up if they're already feeling like a burden on others in some way.
With Sanuso it's a lot more understanding and thoughtful words. It's distractions and comfort food and patience- the kind reserved for Usopp- until Usopp talks about whatever's troubling him. Compared to Zosopp, it doesn't take as long for Usopp to open up, since he's done the same thing to Sanji at times and it's more familiar to him to talk and commiserate with Sanji about his worries and doubts and such. However, there are times stuff like this has absolutely no effect and Sanji will end up at a loss, no idea what to do or how to help over the course of several days with Usopp being quiet and keeping his distance, and he'll end up working himself up about it which will only serve to make Usopp feel worse and. yeah. bit of a vicious cycle with them.
So it's like. Usopp can be weak with both of them, but since I see Sanji as the type of guy who'd be more open with his worries (at least compared to Zoro), there's less of a need to 'perform' and be his best self around him. He's comfortable around Zoro, yes, but he is constantly wanting to show that he won't be a problem to him. On the other hand, while he's more open with Sanji, and Sanji with him, they tend to relate a bit too much with each other and they both have issues with causing trouble for others and being 'deserving of love' so failed attempts at consoling one hurts the other and creates an unpleasant cycle of misery and avoidance before some other crewmate (Zoro) tells them to quit being stupid and just fucking talk to each other.
#one piece#sanuso#zosopp#long post#nemotime#does this make sense or is this the ramblings of a person who's only got 3 hrs sleep#bc thats me. 3 hrs sleep. ugh#listen okay its like. zosopp has their own growing pains to get through yknow? zoro will eventually get the whole#'oh usopp isnt as open with me bc he wants to seem tough and is also kind of doing the same thing i do. thats bad for him'#and it'll be a whole thing about making a promise between the two of them to try and be more honest with their fears and seeking help#when they need it#the sanuso thing is like. i hope i didnt mean to make it seem like sanuso is 'better' or w/e bc its just a different thing#sanuso got their own problems to sort out. 1. Sanji's everything 2. boundaries on special treatment-#i'm not gonna go seriously into this but both relationships start out not the best and get better over time yknow#also i know usopp's afraid and freaking out a lot but for this post i meant his deeper fears and insecurities#not 'i've got can't-go-on-this-island disease' lmao#the tl;dr of this post is: Usopp is more closed off with Zosopp. Usopp and Sanji have similar issues that cause problems with Sanuso.#also the way i see these ships will probably change at some point. who knows#there was a post i saw recently that was like 'hey sanuso bc romance trio were already chill with each other so sanuso became chill with#each other in an 'alone together' type of way and also they have the same issues' and i thought 'wow so true bestie' and here we are#also. man. usopp taking on / copying the behaviours of his loved ones regardless of his age is just. my jam. in a positive or negative way#maybe i'll make a post about that explaining it more. maybe
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medi-bee · 1 year
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Thirteen Thoughts of Lights Above
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How many times did robespierre get an assassination attempts?
Because I remember his sister Charlotte robespierre says in her memoir maybe? That he had multiple assassination attempts not only Cécile-Aimée Renault who tried her luck.
And who is Cécile Renault and what is her story?
Charlotte speaks of attempts on her brother’s life in chapter four of her memoirs:
Since Maximilien Robespierre perished, a victim of counterrevolutionaries, his enemies’ rage has emerged in calumnies, lies, and furious diatribes against him; but before his death, independent of those means which have always suited them, they had another which was no less worthy of them: the dagger. A great number of assassination attempts were made on him. History has spoken of Cécile Renault and of Ladmiral, but it has said nothing of the many other assassins who came to my unhappy brother’s house in the intention of cutting his throat. We were one day gathered at M. Duplay’s house, when a man came and asked to speak to Maximilien Robespierre. My brother went to him and prayed him to say what he wished. That man replied that he could only speak to him in private; he was then shown into a neighboring room where my brother followed him. Some moments later we heard a violent movement. Right away we suspected the unknown man; we entered the room where he was with Maximilien, and we saw that he had seized my brother around the neck, that he had pushed him against the wall, and that he was strangling him!... the assassin was built like Hercules, and had an easy advantage over Maximilien, who was weak bodily and of a delicate complexion. We cried out piercingly; the assassin then let go his victim and took flight; entirely occupied as we were with succoring my brother, we did not think of cutting off his escape. Another time, two men came likewise to M. Duplay’s house to speak to my brother, who had gone out; we told them that he was absent. They insisted on seeing him. There was something suspicious in their countenances, in their miens, and even in their words; everything about them announced their malevolent designs; they were questioned on the object of their visit, and they cut themselves off, which succeeded in confirming our idea that those two men were nothing but criminals, who wanted to assassinate Maximilien. They said that they absolutely needed to speak to him, and that they would return. They did return, in effect, the next day at dinnertime when we were at the table; they did not enter together; perhaps they had made M. Duplay’s house a meeting-place to execute their crime. The first to arrive seemed embarrassed; he asked to speak to Robespierre in private; we replied that their vile plans had been discovered. At these words, he became troubled, mumbled a few words, and retired in all haste. Only a few minutes passed before his companion of the previous evening arrived. He was not given the same to speak; he was told that his accomplice had preceded him by an instant, that there was nothing more for him to do than to join him, and that their attempt had failed. No more was needed to destroy him; one might have called him a man struck by lightning; he fled as if being pursued. These two events, and many others as well, gave Robespierre the certainty that a gang of assassins had been organized to make attempts on his life.
Lucile Desmoulins also mentions an assassination attempt in a diary entry written December 12 1793, when recounting the events surrounding the Insurrection of August 10th four months earlier — ”On August 8, I returned from the countryside. Already the spirits were strongly aroused, someone had wanted to assassinate Robespierre.” While it’s tempting to assume this is one of the attempts Charlotte is describing above, this sounds unlikely to be true considering she hadn’t arrived in Paris by August 8 1792, yet claims to have been an eyewitness. I think it’s also a bit strange how, aside from the testimonies of the two women, we appear to have no other source for/mention of these three assassination attempts. Especially when we know the Cécile Renault one stirred up so many emotions…
As for her story, as told by Histoire du tribunal révolutionnaire de Paris (1880) by Henri Wallon, she lived on rue de la Lanterne (today Rue de la Cité) in Paris with her father and brothers. Acquaintances would later describe her as ”young, lively and nice, [someone who took] pleasure in conversation and loved finery,” and that her reserved father had a constant concern for  his daughter. On May 23 1794, at nine o’clock in the evening, Renault presented herself at the Duplay house on Rue de la Saint-Honoré, roughly two kilometers away from her home, and asked to see Robespierre, claiming to have been out looking for him for six hours. When Éléonore Duplay, who had received Renault at the door, told her Robespierre wasn’t home, Renault got surprised and responded ”that he is a public official and therefore should respond to all those who came to his house.” This got her arrested (it is unclear to me whether Éléonore was the one who called for it or not) and sent to the Committee of General Security. On her way there, the three men escorting her reported that ”[Renault] told us that during the l’ancien régime, when one presented oneself at the king’s, one could enter straight away. We asked her whether she would rather have a king, she responded that she would shed all her blood in order to have one and that these were her opinions and that we were tyrants.”
Once arrived at the CGS, Renault was interrogated:
What is your name, age, profession and recidence?
My name is Aimée-Cécile Renault, I’m twenty years old, I live with my father, paper merchant, on rue de la Lanterne, close to rue des Marmousets, in the Cité section.
Where were you arrested and by whom?
I was arrested at Robespierre’s house by men I didn’t know.
What was your motive for going home to representative of the people Robespierre?
To talk to him.
What did you plan to talk to him about.
That depended on whether I found him or not.
Had anyone ordered you to go talk to him?
No.
Did you have anything to present him with?
That’s none of your business.
Do you know citizen Robespierre?
No, that’s why I asked to get to know him.
What was it that determined you to get to know him?
To see if he was OK with me (s’il me convenait).
I ask you to clearly explain what you mean by these words: ”to see if he was OK with me.”
I have nothing to respond. Don’t interrogate me more.
When you presented yourself at citizen Robespierre’s house, did you not express anger over the fact he wasn’t there?
Yes.
Do you know of rue de l’Estrapade?
No, I don’t know of it and I’ve never been there.
Do you know someone named Catherine Théos [sic]?
No.
Do you know an individual by the name of Dom Gerle?
No.
Have you ever heard Dom Gerle or Catherine Théos [sic] speak?
I have never heard anyone speak.
Did you tell the citizens who came to arrest you at citizen Robespierre’s house that if needed, you would spill all your blood in order to have a king?
Yes, I said that.
Do you stand by it?
Yes.
What were the motives which determined and still determine you to desire a tyrant?
I desire a king, because I would prefer that over fifty thousand tyrats, and I only went to Robespierre’s house to see what a tyrant looks like.
When the CPG searched Renault, two small knives were found on her. It was also discovered that, before going to visit Robespierre, she had left a package to one citizen Payen. The package was opened before Renault, and was shown to contain a full set of women's clothing. The interrogation then continued as follows:
What were your intention in providing yourself with these various items?
Fully expecting to go to the place where I would surely be taken, I would be happy to have linen for my use.
What place are you talking about?
About prison, to from there be sent to the guillotine.
What usage were you planning to make of the two knives that were found on you?
Nothing, I wasn’t planning to harm anybody.
Signed: Voulland, Dubarran, Amar, David, Moïse Bayle, Vadier, Élie Lacoste, Lavicomterie, Jagot, Louis du Bas-Rhin. As for her, she refused to sign.
After this interrogation, Renault was sent from the Committee of General Security to the Conciergerie prison. The following day, May 24, she was interrogated by the president of the Revolutionary Tribunal, René-François Dumas:
What is your name, age, profession and recidence?
My name is Aimée-Cécile Renault, I’m twenty years old, I live with my father, paper merchant, on rue de la Lanterne, close to rue des Marmousets, section de la Cité. I have three brothers, one of which, a 32 year old, lives in the same house, and the other two have left, one with the battalions sent to the department of Eure, the other with the first requisition.
Do you have any particular liasions or associations?
No.
Who are the people who visit your father’s house with the most frequency?
Nobody.
What are your opinions on the Republic and the government?
I want a king, because I’d prefer the power to be in the hands of a single person rather than of forty or fifty thousand tyrants.
How can you suppose that the power of the people, exercised through itself,  its representatives or its mandataires to be tyrannical?
I don’t want to share my opinions.
Were your opinions inspired by anyone?
No, and I have no accountability.
Have your manifested your opinions in front of anyone?
No.
Have you in the revolution experienced any loss or been forced into any sacrifice that has been able to serve as a pretext for your opinions?
No, I want a king, I don’t have any other motives.
Do you have the hopes of bringing back a king?
Yes, and it doesn’t matter to me which one.
How do you imagiene the royalty could be reestablished?
Through the success of the armed coalition powers.
Do you have any reports or intelligence that put you in a position to base your hopes on the allied powers on something?
No.
Did you intend to contribute to the re-establishment of royalty?
Yes.
How did you intend to contribute?
I would have contributed with financial assistance and by all means that would have been in my power; I would also have contributed, depending on the circumstances, to destroying the government and those who exercise its power.
Have you made any attempt to carry out your plan?
No.
Have you written any anonymous letter against the government, or know anyone who has done so? 
No.
Have you presented yourself at the house of any representative of the people?
I presented myself yesterday at Robespierre’s house, around nine o’clock in the evening.
What was your plan in going to Robespierre’s house.
To talk to him in person.
What did you want to talk to Robespierre about?
I don’t want to give any response or explanation regarding this question.
Do you realize that your answers lead one to believe you had the intention of committing a crime, and that you must explain your intentions?
She does not want to explain further, and adds that she intended to ask him for instructions on the situation and the strengthening of the Republic.
Do you realize that your declarations and obstinacy to not want to explain yourself cannot be reconciled with such a plan, which is why I’m again asking you to explain yourself?
She persists in not wanting to answer.
Did anyone propose to you the plan of going home to Robespierre and did you tell anyone about it?
No.
Did you go to Robespierre’s house several times during day?
No.
When you went to Robespierre, did you have with you knives, and of which sort?
I had in my pocket two folding knives, one in tortoiseshell and the other in ivory, both trimmed in silver: the one made of ivory was given to me by my brother in 89, having found it at Prés-Saint-Gervais. The other was given to me by my grandmother three or four years ago. It was loaded with rust; I cleaned it and tried to remove the rust by scraping the blade with another knife, eight or nine days ago. I rarely use it.
Do you regularly carry two knives?
I carry the tortoiseshell one regularly, the ivory one showed up in my pocket, I didn’t know it was there.
When you went home to Robespierre, did you have the intention of using these knives to kill him?
No; that, moreover, we can judge as we please.
When you yesterday left your father’s house, did you tell anyone?
No.
When you left your house, did you carry with you a package containing clothes, and for what purpose had you brought this package?
I had taken this package containing clothes and linen, because I anticipated that by going to Robespierre I would get arrested.
End of the interrogation.
Renault’s house was searched the night between the 23 and the 24. Suspect things found included two paintings “bearing the effigy of the tyrant and his wife” hidden in a cupboard, ”several papers bearing the signs of feudalism” and two national guard rifles belonging to the father and son. Under the bed in Renault’s room was found a banner on which was crown surrounded by fleur-de-lis printed in large size. In her father’s room was also discovered the following letter to his son:
Paris, January 3, Year II of the Republic. I’ve seen the letter from your good mother, through which you show that the citizens of the province where you find yourself desire that the former king not be condemned to death. As of now, one can’t tell you anything, because nothing is over yet, but I think that, for the sake of the good and calm of the Republic, it would be desired if he was not executed. Renault. To M. Renault, corporal at the depot of the Théâtre-Français battalion, garrisoned in Berlemont.
The father was interrogated on the spot and revealed he had three brothers, two sisters, three sons and one daughter ”who left his house on 4 prairial around six in the evening and who he didn’t know the location of.” Soon, both he, his sister and his youngest son were arrested and seals placed on their belongings. Arrest warrants were also issued against the two oldest sons of the family, but with both away in the armies they escaped the fate of their relatives.
The Renaults’ neighbours were interrogated in order to find out more about them. One femme Papin, who made sure to underline she was not close to Cècile, had the following to say regarding her disappearance:
Citizen Renault, instructed of his daughter’s absence, appeared desolute, and went to his place to check if his daughter hadn’t taken anything with her. He came back saying that the trouble which agitated him robbed him of the ability to see if she had taken anything. Renault then closed his boutique and went to his place. [Femme Papin] went home as well, after having checked, by going home to citoyenne Gentilhomme, citoyenne Bouchot and others, that [Cécile] was not in the neigbourhood. She went to bed, and sometime after having fallen asleep, she was woken up by the son Renault who asked her to look after their cat. She accepted this without thinking about any consequences, without suspecting that in this moment, Renault was being put under arrest. The next day, femme Papin’s oldest daughter learned from citoyenne Besençon, baker, of the arrest of father and son Renault, and it was also said that fille Renault, having learned of the arrest of her brother and father, had fled the house to save herself from the same fate. Six o’clock in the morning, she found herself at the house of citoyenne Julles, talking with her about this arrest, when citoyenne Prévôt entered and told them that fille Renault had been arrested as well, and this while having wanted to kill Robespierre.
Femme Papin’s fifteen year old daughter also came forward, explaining that, on May 23:
Leaving her work and passing by Renault’s boutique, fille Renault knocked on the window, invited her in, and gave her the task of handing over 16 sols to citoyenne Julles. Then she chatted with her for about a quarter of an hour after which she went up to her place. Then she came back down and went out, saying she would not come back. Renault’s brother, not seeing his sister return, was worried to the point that he fell ill.
A girl who had come over to the Renault house to buy a pen declared that Cécile had told her that she had just bought a piece of muslin worth 25 livres from a dressmaker by the name of Sonnet, something which the latter’s wife confirmed to be true. The Renault’s maid declared that she had a bundle of Indian fabrics to redo a taffeta dress for Cécile, and Barbe-Françoise-Antonine Cruel, femme Martin, a different seamstress, reported that Renault had ordered a muslin dress made for her in secret, urging her to get it done as quick as possible since she had to attend the wedding of one of her cousins and because she could get guillotined before it. To that, femme Martin had responded that ”when one does no harm, one should fear nothing.” The revelation Renault possessed several expensive garments, along with information she had had contacts with a young man by the name of Admirat, believed to possibly be related to the Henri Admirat who had made an attempt on Collot d’Herbois’ life a mere day before Renault’s visit to Robespierre, were the main topics for the third interrogation with Renault, held on May 25:
What does your father give you in order to provide for your maintenance?
My dad provides for me, but he only gives me 15 sols per week for personal expenses. 
Is it your father or you yourself who buys your clothes? Does he give you a lot and does it vary between different seasons?
He gives me that which satisfies me, and he was the one who bought them. 
Do you consider that, holding the trust of your father and being the one who keeps the house running, it seems surprising that it was your father who bought your clothes; and that in general, these kinds of purchases are a thing of the past for women?
She persists in her former response.
Did you, a little while ago, buy different outfits, and do you in this moment have different clothes at the seamstresses?
I bought six ells of muslin, 25 livres per ell, from Sonnet, a haberdasher, living opposite my dad, and I owe him the price. I gave an Italian taffeta dress to citoyenne Dematin, seamstress, living on l’Île de la Fraternité, I believe in a street near the barracks, opposite or nearby an apothecary, and whose name I do not know, to make a sheath out of it for me. I also gave her a muslin sheath, and the six ells of muslin already mentioned, with the exception of the portion which was taken from it to make the garnish, by citoyenne Gentilhomme, linen worker, living with my father. I gave a pierrot de taffetas to lengthen my petticoat to my friend citoyenne Petit, living in Marché-Neuf, with a locksmith, on the fourth floor. My dad doesn’t want me to see her often, observing that she since about a year has been married to a chariot adjutant whose name I don’t know.
Do you understand that one cannot be convinced that, receiving only fifteen sols per week from your father, and this according to your own admission, he would provide you with such a big and beautiful wardrobe?
She persists in declaring that it was her father who bought her the various effects, except for the muslin, and adds that she owes citoyenne Petit, from Marché-Neuf, around forty livres.
Can you explain how, having only 15 sols per week to provide for your particular expenses, you intended to pay the six ells of muslin which you just declared to have purchased on credit, without your father's knowledge. Isn’t it obvious that you could not pay the price of this muslin without some other special resources?
The confidence the merchant, or better yet his wife, had in me, determined them to make this supply on credit and have me pay it off when I could, in ten or twenty years. I intended to ask my dad for fifty livres when I found the opportunity and give it to them.
Do you remember that in the interrogation held yesterday you declared that you would provide money to those who would help you in your counter-revolutionary projects to re-establish the monarchy in France?
I remember saying that.
How can you reconcile this offer of relief with the shortage in which you declare yourself to be?
I acknowledge the shortage in which I find myself, but I would have sold my belongings to provide for the expenses of the armies allied against the Republic.
How long has it been since you went to confession?
I have no accountability for this. Moreover, churches and priests were suppressed a long time ago.
Who was your confessor when the priests exercised their functions?
I have never been to confession.
Have you been to the house of any priest after they stopped holding office, and has any priest frequented your father’s house?
No.
Have you, since the supression, been at the house of the priest of la Magdeleine?
No, because I knew he was a firm patriot, and that he didn’t share my opinions.
Have you sometimes gone to the curé of Saint-Landry, or had any relations with him?
No, I don’t know him, I only know his name.
Do you know citizen Admirat, aged 16 or 17, who sometimes came to see the son of widow Joyanvad, marchande épicière, rue de la Lanterne, at the corner of rue des Marmouzets?
I’ve seen him five to six times only, but I have never spoken to him. I’ve seen him at my father’s house, which is next to that of citoyenne Joyanval.
Have you been to café Payen?
I have not gone into the café, but I left my package to citizen Payen and asked him where Robespierre lived. He sent me to the guardhouse of the firefighters, who gave me the adress.
Were you not surprised one wouldn’t give you Robespierre’s adress, and did you tell them you were going to see a man who today was a lot and tomorrow would be no more?
I might have, I don’t remember. But speaking to the fireman, I told him: ”Robespierre is somewhere.” The fireman having answered that he was president of the Committee of Public Safety, I replied ”So a king then?”
Have you considered that the various admissions made by you in the previous interrogations, together with those recorded in this one, announce that your visit to Robespierre had any other aim than that of discussing only government affairs?
She persists in her previous responses in this regard.
Are you on the point of marrying?
No.
When did you become a royalist?
I have always been one.
I ask you again what it was that determined you to go home to Robespierre was and what your plan was.
She persists in her previous responses, and adds that she would not say more about this; that moreover, it is up to us to guess the rest. (6 prairial, 6 o’clock in the morning)
Soon, Renault did however start having a guilty conscience over having denied her faith, and seven o’clock in the evening the very same day she gave the names of the two late priests that had been in charge of her communion to a judge of the tribunal. When asked if she since then had performed any religious act and who the persons who had made her do that were, Renault simply responded that that was a secret and she had nothing more to say.
During the trial of public prosecutor Fouquier-Tinville one year later, the registrar Wolff claimed that Renault was stripped of her own clothes, covered in rags and threatened during her interrogation:
To force her to make the confession that they wanted to extract from her, she was applied to a type of questioning so ridiculous that it should have made the justice system blush. As the taste of this young girl, who was quite pretty, was to be well dressed, she was stripped of her clothes and covered with dirty and disgusting rags, and in this state she was taken up to the council chamber where she underwent a new interrogation and where the same demands and the same threats were made against her; to which she replied the same way she had already done, adding jeers and mockery against the judges who had the pettiness to use such a ridiculous type of question against her. She was threatened with taking her father and her entire family with her if she did not confess to this alleged assassination.
As Renault was being interrogated, the city section where her family lived also carried out an investigation against them, and through it, even more compromising details came floating up to the surface. It was reported that the family, after the overthrow of the monarchy, had had the words ”the nation, the law and the king” on a cartridge box (giberne), words which they at first refused to delete, though they would eventually do so with the ”king” part. Renault’s father, speaking of the murder of Lepeletier in January 1793, was said to have had stated ”Well! One also wants the death of the king, that will cost them dearly,” while his son had openly lamanted the king’s and queen’s imprisonment in the Temple while serving as guard there. His statement had been reported to the rest of the guard unit, but he had ignored it, simply saying that he thought what he thought.
Renault’s three arrested family members — father, brother and aunt — were all interrogated on May 28:
Antoine Renault, 62 years old.
Do you know who the people are that your children frequent and have relations with?
I only know of indifferent relations to neighbors or relatives. A sister of mine, a former nun, called sister gray, came to my house and conferred with my daughter, without me remarking anything in particular between them. Said sister is very attached to religion.
Learning that we were writing down this part of his response, he wanted to cut it out.
Does your daughter have any fanatical prejudices and any passions typical for her age?
I haven’t noticed in my daughter any religious affections, she appears rather indifferent when it comes to this subject. There exists no clue she has any passions, on the contrary, she is watched over and never leaves the house alone, except for when she rarely goes to the market. When she goes out, I always accompany her. I add here that my daughter is very attached to her aunt.
How do you provide maintenance for your daughter?
I myself buy what is necessary for her.
Where were you the fourth (23rd) this month?
I stopped working (j’ai descendu la garde) at two a’clock, I had dinner at my place with my son and daughter. Five o’clock, being on the point of going to bed, my son and daughter engaged me to go out to relax. I did so, carrying with me 25 livres that he owed to a laundress. I returned home at eight o'clock in the evening, where I found my son and the fille Pepin (Papin), both in anguish, and the former troubled because my daughter, who had been gone since six o’clock, had not returned. They told me that before leaving, she had told them to wait for her, that she would return, without saying where she was going. I had as my plan to go see if my daughter was at her aunt’s house, so I left my house, but fearing to meet her on the way, I went inside and went to bed, as did my son, and we got arrested in the night. I don’t know what has become of my daughter since this moment.
He is asked about the small pieces of furniture (petits meubles) that his daughter owned.
I know of scissors, a bad knife with an ivory handle, which was given to her by her brother; another knife with a scale handle, from my dead sister. She does not usually carry them and often has neither.
Do you know what your daughter’s opinion is on the revolution?
She is a good patriot, she loves the republic very much.
Does your daughter miss the tyrant and has she shown that she desires to see a king reestablished in France?
No.
Have you yourself, in your house, sought to inspire your children with dispositions contrary to the Republic and the current government?
No. 
One shows him the letter dated January 3 1793 written by him to his son, the two portraits of the king and the queen found, the two small knives, scissors and a case that he recognizes as belonging to his daughter.
He responds to questions asked regarding the denounciations of which he has been the object. He has never heard his daughter talk about Robespierre or her plan.
Does your daughter know how to read and write?
No, moreover, my daughter has so little inclination towards fanaticism that she has never taken what is called first communion, and has never approached a priest to make what is called confession.
The same day, Antoine-Jacques Renault, 31 years old.
Did you know that the paintings were being kept in a cupboard?
Yes.
Have you served as guard at the Temple? 
Yes, two times.
He denies the conversation attributed to him by a denouncer. He is asked again if priests came to his house and if they declaimed against the Republic?
No.
Do you know Admirat? 
No.
When your sister went out, why were you so worried?
As my sister usually doesn’t go out, I was worried over not seeing her again.
Do you observe that the situation in which you find yourself does not indicate simple concern, but deep affection to dreadful events?
He persists in his answer.
Do you know that your sister planned to assassinate members of the Committee of Public Safety, and were you involved in the plot?
No.
The same day Edme-Jeanne Renault, 60 years, former nun, rue de Babylone, 698. 
Do you often go home to your brother, Antoine Renault?
I go there at least once every décade.
Which priests do you know?
I haven’t seen one in two years. 
Have you had any particular conversations with fille Renault?
I view her as my niece, without particularities.
Do you know someone named Admirat, and do you know that he was known to your niece?
No.
Did you know about your niece’s plan? Were you an accomplice? Do you know who inspired it? Did conversations hostile to the republic take place in your house?
No.
The same day her three relatives were heard, Renault was her too picked in by Dumas for a fourth interrogation:
Eight days before your arrest, did you not strongly press a seamstress to carry out work that you had given her?
Yes, and these works were garments.
Did you say to this worker that you were in a hurry for these clothes, and that you didn't know what could happen, and that you could get guillotined in eight days?
I may have said that.
How is it that eight days before your arrest, you could foresee that you could get guillotined?
I have no idea.
Did your family know that you were preparing for first communions?
Never.
How did you know that Blondeau, priest of Saint-Denis-du-Pas, died last Pentecost?
It is only too true that the good priest is dead, I do not want to say from whom I learned of his death.
Do you want to declare that it was he who suggest to you the plan that you attempted to carry out?
Nobody did.
Do you often see your aunt, the former nun?
About every fortnight, and not as often as I would have desired.
She doesn’t want to make more declarations.
She declares that she doesn’t know how to sign.
Signed only F. Girard.
Renault was not perceived as some ”lone madwoman” by the authorities. Instead, they viewed her alleged assassination attempt as part of a bigger conspiracy, connected first and foremost to Henri Admirat’s attempt on Collot d’Herbois life one day earlier. Admirat and Renault were in their turn believed to be accomplices of Baron de Batz, a royalist and former member of the National Assembly, who had since turned against the revolution and was currently in hiding. According to letter written by the Committee of General Security to the public prosecutor exactly a month before Renault’s visit to Robespierre, de Batz had tried to rescue the royal family from the Temple by pretending to serve a guard there, tried to rally a mob to save the king on the day of his execution, held an Austrian committee directed by Marie-Antoinette, tried to bribe the authorities, and had contacts with both William Pitt, the Vendée, Toulon, Lyon, Marseille and the émigrés, all with the goal ”to assassinate the national representation, the object of his constant rage.” The letter ended by declaring de Batz was officially outlawed and any means were allowed when it came to capturing him.
In the weeks following Renault’s arrest, she would be joined by more people would said to belong to this alleged conspiracy, among them de Batz’ mistress, lodger and secretary, a domestic and seamstress, a former marquis and his son, a banker, a confident of Fabre d’Églantine and Hérault de Séchelles, parisian prisoners de Batz was believed to have influenced, and even several men currently employed in revolutionary administrations believed to benefit the enemy. On June 14, the Convention unanimously decided to immediately send the total of 40 accused before the Revolutionary Tribunal, following a report on the conspiracy read by the Committee of General Security’s Élie Lacoste (the total number would however have been bumped up to 54 once the trial began). The main objective of the conspiracy had according to Lacoste been ”the abduction of Capet's widow, the dissolution of the National Convention, and finally counter-revolution.”
The trial started on June 17 and lasted only for a few hours (I’ve unfortunately not discovered the minutes for it). All of the 54 accused, with the exception of Admirat, denied having been involved in any assassination plan. That was however not enough to stop the tribunal to sentence every single one of them to death. They were executed at four o’clock the very same day, all dressed in red shirts, which the penal code of 1791 had proclaimed all condemned murderers were to wear.
Though Robespierre never so much as saw Renault or Henri Admirat, the assassination attempts are still often seen as a contributing factor to a decline of his mental health in the last months of his life. Already on May 25, he was the author of the following CPS decree, rather panicky in tone, asking Saint-Just, who was currently away with the armies, to return to Paris:
Dear collegue,  Liberty is exposed to new dangers; the factions arise with a character more alarming than ever. The lines to get butter are more numerous and more turbulent than ever when they have the least pretexts, an insurrection in the prisons which was to break out yesterday and the intrigues which manifested themselves in the time of Hébert are combined with assassination attemps on several occasions against members of the Committee of Public Safety; the remnants of the factions, or rather the factions still alive, are redoubled in audacity and perfidy. There is fear of an aristocratic uprising, fatal to liberty. The greatest peril that threatens it is in Paris. The Committee needs to bring together the lights and energy of all its members. Calculate whether the army of the North, which you have powerfully contributed to putting on the path to victory, can do without your presence for a few days. We will replace you, until you return, with a patriotic representative.  The members composing the Committee of Public Safety. Robespierre, Prieur, Carnot, Billaud-Varennes, Barère. 
The next day, May 26, after Barère in the name of the CPS had read a report to the Convention regarding the assassination attemps (calling Renault ”a royalist as fanatical as the most inveterate of couriers”) and using them as a weapon against the English, Robespierre mounted the roatroom and held a fiery speech — ”calumnies, treasons, fires, poisonings, atheism, corruption, famine, assassinations, have all lavished their crimes; there still remains assassination, and then assassination, and then again assassination.” He appeared at the Jacobins the following day but after that he didn’t speak in public again until June 8, the day of the Festival of the Supreme Being. The Convention deputy Joachim Vilate claimed in the pamphlet Causes secrètes de la révolution du 9 au 10 thermidor (1794) that Robespierre during the last months of his life ”spoke only of assassination, again assassination, always assassination. He was frightened his own shadow would assassinate him. One month before his overthrow I had only set foot in his house and was given worried and threatening looks.”
The assassination attemps are also commonly seen as a contributing factor to the creation of to the Law of 22 Prairial, passed by the Convention on June 10, which Renault and the other accused were also judged under.
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theproblemcallednight · 5 months
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freminet. u agree.
istg genshin has me in a chokehold and im here for it. got him recently for the event and now i luv him very much
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parasolemn · 10 months
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Creatures of wet slop. Grins
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edwardpinestar · 1 year
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Emerald Rose [A Sleeping Beauty inspired oneshot]
AO3
Death looked down at the slumbering cat with an indecipherable glint in his eyes. Briars filled the room, thorny and blooming with blood red roses, climbing on the walls, and creeping along the floor to the bed, where the prince was framed by beautiful roses. The beauty the briars held, Death knew, were a veil to hide their own lethality, as the numerous bodies, in varying degrees of decay, all strung up throughout the kingdom said. The prince's beauty, on the other hand, was quite authentic.
Almost three hundred years had passed since he'd fallen into slumber, much longer, Death had heard, than the fairies had intended, but Death could've easily told anyone that- if he had anyone to tell, that is. Expect, he sort of did. In the very pretty, sleeping prince. Death had been stepping into his dream for... hundreds of years, at this point, spending time with the prince, who always insisted Death call him Puss over the name given to him upon birth.
Death did not really remember the first time he'd stepped into Puss' dream, driven by curiousity by the prince so many died trying to save. The prince, Death had found, was... different to what he'd expected. Death hadn't been entirely sue what he'd been expecting, but a brave, adventurous, rebellious young man who dreamed of a life free of expectation, but found himself unable to achieve that even in his sleep, was not it. Death had found himself made... curious by this cat, and had taken to joining his dream more often, stealing Puss away for the 'day' to give him the adventure he so craved.
Puss thought he was another figment of his dream, the cat well aware he wasn't awake. Death was not sure why that stung, why he wanted to grab Puss by the shoulders, shake him, and tell him that 'he's real, he's not a dream!'.
Death was even less sure why he spent so much time staring at the prince's sleeping body when he wasn't in his dreams, or doing his job. The prince was, Death could objectively admit, very beautiful. He was fairly sure one of those infernal fairies had gifted him beauty- though knowing fairies, Death doubted that was actually true. The prince was probably just naturally attractive.
Puss' fur was a plush, fluffy, orange tabby pelt, well groomed and soft- Death had long since given into the urge to see if his fur was as soft in real life as it was his dream, and the deity had to confess, it was softer in real life. His pink, plump lips were parted, and his eyes, green in his dream, were always shut, but still lined in the make-up the tabby had been wearing before he pricked his finger on a spindle. He was dressed in fine chemise, of soft, white silk, that reached his knees, with an off the shoulder ruffle around the top, the sleeves being ruffled bell shapes underneath, and the waist tapered with a white, fabric sash.
It was, all things considered, nice of the fairies to dress him in something comfortable and put him in his plush bed. Unusually nice for fairies. But it mattered little, as no one was coming to rescue the prince. People had stopped trying so much after the hundreth year of his slumber, and now approaching the three hundreth, it was rare if, every few decades, someone would try their hand. Really, there was no reason for Death to come back so frequently.
And yet he did.
And that was how he found himself scrutinising the young prince's slumbering form. It was more interesting to visit Puss in his dream than like this, but time and time again, Death found himself standing at his bedside, looking at him. The briars, usually so proactive against all that got near, never reacted to his presence, so there was no sound other than the distant wind, and if Death were to listen closely, the slow beat of a heart and the puffs of breath past parted lips.
Death found himself staring at Puss' lips a lot, during these moments. He found his eyes drawn to them, his mind going wild with impossibilities. Wild with forbidden thoughts of bending over, and kissing those lips, and watching as green eyes fluttered open for the first time in centuries.
It was not his place, however, that he knew. A young man or woman was meant to ascend the tower, kiss the prince, and wed him soon after. A mortal, was meant to awaken him. And Death was not mortal. So, he made no move to kiss Puss, simply staring, and visiting dreams to keep the ever-lonely cat company.
But it had almost been three centuries since Puss fell asleep, and the last person to try and save him had died fifty years ago. And Death... didn't think anyone else was coming.
Clearly, Puss' true love, whoever they were, were not going to show up, at least not for a long time yet. And, well, the prince was meant to be awakened by true loves kiss, something Death could not give him. But would it really hurt to try? Puss would never know, Death would silence these intrusive thoughts, and the slumber would continue.
Death sighed, clenching his fists, a feeling of guilt filling him at the very idea. Because Death knew in all his non-existent heart, that if Puss knew who he was, that he was real, he would not want Death as his true love, and yet, as Death had eventually come to terms with, he wanted Puss to be his.
Each time Death entered Puss' dreams, he found himself hopelessly enamoured by the silly, and yet genuine cat. Puss was just so... endlessly kind, even in a dream in which he knew was one. Everytime Puss saw him, the cat lit up, and instantly rushed to tell him all about the things he'd 'experienced' in the time between Death's last visit, bouncing beside Death as he exitedly spoke.
And Death knew the cat was... somewhat attracted to him. He'd accidentally dreamed in at a rather... private moment, for Puss, and had almost instant left the moment he realised what was going on, but he had still heard the name he'd given Puss, Hades, being moaned by the tabby.
On top of that, Puss flirted with him. A lot. It was terrible flirting at first, but he'd slowly gotten better with time. It made Death rather... flustered, to remember the cheesy pickup lines, the soft, earnest eyes, and flowery compliments.
The exact thing that had driven Death to stand at his bedside, deeply contemplating kissing the tabby, was the dream he'd walked into. It was, by all accounts, normal. Puss sitting in the garden under a tree, reading a book, was not an unusal thing for him to see. Neither was the prince talking to himself. It was what he said that was unsual.
"Oh, how I wish Hades was my true love."
Puss had sighed the sentence, staring longingly at a rose he'd plucked from a bush somewhere, neatly avoiding the thorns as he held it between two fingers. Death had fled upon realising what the tabby had said.
And now here he was, staring at the slumbering cat.
"I wish Hades was my true love."
The sentence echoed through his skull like a gong.
"Hades was my true love."
Unbiddenly, Death suddenly lurched forward, catching himself before he slammed his face into the tabby's. His paws bracketed each side of the prince's head, and his unnecessary breaths were laboured as he swallowed thickly, mouth suddenly dry. He shouldn't, it was useless, it was forbidden-
Death pressed his lips to Puss', a slow, chaste kiss, and after a few seconds of letting it linger, savouring the plushness of his lips that tasted faintly of leche and mangos, he pulled his head back, ears pinning to his head with retroactive regret.
A soft sound escaped those just kissed lips, and the tabby's face scrunched up. Death found himself unable to move, frozen in shock as he watched eyes move under shut lids, face muscles twitching after centuries of being still.
Black lashes fluttered, old make-up cracking, as bleary, glazed green eyes cracked open, the most beautiful emerald green he'd ever seen, far more beautiful than their dream counterparts.
And Prince Antonio of the Lost Kingdom of Sains, for the first time in two-hundred and ninety-eight years, awoke.
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gothicvanitas · 2 months
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i finished my first playthrough of bbs, i love playin ven iv decided
so i might replay sometime as him but first!!! gotta do aqua an terras stories :3
also hav decided kh3 replay.. maybe just for a certain boss maybe not, since stuff hits different now i hav
knowledge
i also decided (decided this a whilw ago tbh)
vanitas. comfort character. dont ask me HOW but he provides me with comfort he is extremely fucked up but i love him (square make a plushie of him thank u ill sell my soul plsplsplsplsplspls)
bbs has reinforced my vani enjoyment
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houseofache · 8 months
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so… how’s everyone feeling about the messages between vessel and sleep?
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todd-queen · 5 months
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i love my asshole characters. my absolute worsties
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+bonus of my besties
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iknaenmal · 2 months
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what a week
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spiderwarden · 5 months
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Sometimes I want to write Act1 Unhinged Minthara.
Sometimes I want to follow someone’s Tav, or Companions. ( well? OCs, but I don’t like saying the word OC in BG3 it implies they’re not canon. they are canon to me.)
Sometimes I want to playfully send someone asks.
Sometimes I want to send memes.
Sometimes I want to playfully comment.
SOMETIMES-! I JUST -!!! WANT TO WRITE!! MINTHARA CRIME!!!
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