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#no way its this popular. bullshit
nialltlynch · 2 years
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in awe of the energy exuded here
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lunatic-fandom-space · 6 months
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Dont ask why but Ive been spending a lot of time looking at books that are dracula retellings and GOOD GOD do cishets never get tired of how fucking cishet their stupid books are
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typheus · 1 year
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also ngl.... i have been rereading homestuck...., i listened to the homestuck made this world podcast n immediately realized i have like. actually actually forgotten like 99% of homestuck sdkhsdkjss
anyways it kills me when ppl say they hate the inventory shit cause ive always loved it 💀💀💀
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the-lunar-warrior · 1 year
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listen i am VIBING i dont want a lot of followers on this blog, and 400 isnt really much over 9 years on this website. but for some reason void struck me as someone who had around 1k. idk why. just look at him
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genderjester · 1 year
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one fucking post using phrenology incorrectly and suddenly u have ppl believe it bc there was a wikipedia screenshot attached to it and it was worded in typical you stupid tumblr ppl will learn something from me, a smarter and better tumblr user than u today fashion. kill me
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yousaytomato · 2 years
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tumblr will get so close to good textual analysis and discussion and then the next comment will be
"well actually, in an interview/on twitter/in passing on an Instagram Live, they said that's not true so you're wrong actually, end of discussion 🤷‍♂️"
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snekdood · 1 year
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I miss deviantart before it went to shit .-.
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leatherbookmark · 2 years
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i swear to god, jgy being bitchy/prickly as a proof that he's finally opened up to someone is possibly my most disliked fandom treatment of him, because with obvious jgy haters at least I know we have exactly nothing to talk about! aaaaand block! but then people who claim to love him just make him into a total opposite of who he was in the novel and it's just like. sigh
#practically every time i bitch about it i bring up the fact that Yes the perspective of being able to be your worst self with no fear that#the person who sees that will hate you and book it is seductive and heady#but its never about that. or rather: when you read the novel you get the feel that jgy is wearing a smiling mask almost#constantly and it would be nice for him to not have to do that. but often fanworks lack that element and jgy is just a bitch#i mean yes sometimes you get a vague mention of difficult work! or some vague idea of a backstory that hints at jgy being a bitch#because he got hurt in the past and its his armor. and thats nice but its not jin guangyao. whose whole thing in canon was that he was#ALWAYS polite. i guess most fans picture a smile that you can See is fake and murderous but its not the case in the novel at all#and even if there really IS a setting where jgy can let himself be a bitch in front of his partner... it's just. so annoying#like jgy isn't a person but a little chihuahua throwing a little fit hihihi! how funny! have we mentioned he's so short?#I haven't found a fic where jgy genuinely can complain about his work/family/whatever troubles him and the other person reacts in a way#that would be a satisfying and appropriate emotional reaction for him (idk how to put it but for example when i need to vent i also need#the person im venting to to agree that yeah this is shitty/bullshit! which is why i dont really vent to people anymore lol)#it always has this comical undertone and it feels so wrong 4 me#on top of that this bitchy little a-yao is so popular that people dont even think twice about it. just like nmj who's so warm and loving#not to mention endlessly queer and supportive that people forget the original flavour (to borrow the sv term lol)#and again i do understand! one of my past otps was very Quirky and over the top (thats anime 4 u) and i soaked up the rare moments when#they were just people with complex feelings like a fucking sponge. then my fic was all about the complex feelings without any of the#quirkiness because i was tired of its abundance in canon. but in a way because of this they were a complete 180 from their canon selves#so like. i guess i understand. but what i dont understand is that this assumes thay jgy's smiles and kindness are ALL a front and that the#bitch (or gremlin! he and wwx are ~gremlin friends~ uh huh) is the True Self. and i mean. w h a t#people got So hooked up on short bitchy customer service employee forced to hide his oceans of snark behind a smile so fake its cracking at#the edges thay they forgot about the man who would do everything for people he loved + enjoyed making them happy and comfortable#and was kind to his subordinates. there's nothing of that dude in popular fics and im not even sure if authors know he existed#the closest we have is him trying to be the favourite uncle/satisfy his in-laws first/show off which just seems so shallow lmao#and its like Oh God#i know 'these are all fictional characters eli' but ashfhfkflsahfjsgod#shut up shrimp
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weirdmageddon · 8 months
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i love these tags this person is so right
actually, can you imagine if dave was raised by B1 roxy?
i wanna get into this actually
(ok i had to spend a few hours rewriting this because IT DIDNT FUCKING SAVE AFTER FIVE HOURS OF WRITING WHEN MY COMPUTER UPDATED WHILE I WAS AFK so it would mean a lot to show this post some appreciation. i LOVEEE hearing what other people have to say)
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even though these things mom does are presented in an extravagant, kitsch, jokey way, her intentions always came from a place of sincerity. she is simply Funnie
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but rose reads too far into it and assumes things that aren't there, that her mother is passive-aggressively feigning interest in rose's interests simply because the things she does are so extra. "why do all of this if not to mock me"
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im telling you right now if dave lived in this household he wouldn't assume antagonism, he'd go,
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don’t forget who LITERALLY patented tangible jpeg artifacts as their post-scratch adult self and scattered shitty scummed up statue of liberties all over the planet. theres no way some of that overboard artful shit wasnt post-ironic / circling back around to genuine funny sincerity
dave's natural state is funny sincerity like roxy. he's had the natural capacity for this type of humor from the start and this is the direction he goes towards when he grows out of his brother's shadow by the end of the comic. dave and roxy share an earnest “so bad its good” type of humor
(lots more under the cut; the length of this meta analysis just got unwieldly with all the pictures and whatnot)
despite the alcoholism, roxy is a supportive mother. she's not the ideal guardian but hells of a lot more supportive of her kid than bro is. if she knew dave's interests she would totally indulge in them with some over the top silly goofy haha shit as a genuine gesture simply because she loves him
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rose isn't too keen on it though. but she is more similar to dirk in her natural state of thinking of overthinking shit and assuming the worst, like the tags said
and yes dave got the sweet cuddly yet sometimes backhanded ouppy gene from roxy, probably even moreso lol
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roxy's even said rose "sounds like girl dirk"
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side tangent here, but this is something i wanna talk about.
i dont think bro should ever be in custody of children ever but if theres anyone who would be up to the task it's rose probably. i know she'd be able to keep up with him. not only does she have a defined personality (dave is more malleable and absorbs his environment like a sponge), if anyone can pick apart B1 dirk's batshit brain and probably be right on the money it's her. lil cal has been pumping patriarchal nonsense into bro's head and rose would be able to bring the fucking facts to the table without losing her own and being a living example of a badass little girl. i also don't think bro would try to force masculine roles onto rose like he did with dave, seeing as she is a girl, so she would actually have more of a leg up and get some passes that dave was never afforded. and rose wouldn't stand idly and accept any bullshit; she is no doormat. and i think this would earn bro's respect
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but anyway, from this, couldn't we conclude roxy "sounds like girl dave"?
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yeah okay. we havent even gotten into their penchant for funny typos or misspeaks, deliberate or otherwise
so, dave's environment
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the sentiment "god you hope you can be as good as your bro at this some day" might have been genuine at the time when he idolized bro but of course he's not able to express that in any sort of sincere fashion because he's in dirk's fucking household. and this level 10 irony shit isnt doing dave any favors
his role models were the Internet and a vague idea of what Bro was like. So he built up his facade based on irony–not the literary definition of irony, as Rose might be quick to point out, but a popular concept of irony based on the idea that things that didn’t make sense actually made sense in some roundabout way. As a master of irony, Dave probably reasoned, he could see in a way other people couldn’t why a world that was scary and didn’t make sense really did make sense, and could therefore convince those people that he was superior to them. And he would wield his knowledge to maintain the appearance of superiority by calling everything ironic and pretending he didn’t care about things that didn’t make sense, and he would use walls of vaguely rhyming words to keep everyone at arm’s length so they wouldn’t discover his insecurities (source)
roxy's style is the embodiment of post-irony. being raised by mom lalonde would be like being raised by joel vinesauce ok
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what can i say ….. (getting meta about this actually, hussie got these jpeg wizard wallpapers from a spyware website. link takes some time to load because internet archive)
rose is quick to read post-irony as actually being a joke/insincere, which in bro's case would be true. but i believe dave's natural instinct, outside of the influence of bro, is to read post-irony as genuine, which is exactly how mom serves it. we see this as early as act 3 from him; he understands her motives better than rose does herself:
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and in act 6 intermission 2 i think it's pretty clear
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but the thing is, it's always genuine from her. dave wouldn't have to second guess it because he's not one to naturally second guess someone's sincerity; that was learned due to his bro being virtually unassailable
there two types of ironies at play here:
seems like a joke, is actually genuine (roxy)
doesnt seem like a joke, is actually a joke (dirk)
you can make the argument that the second is is more psychologically destructive because it makes you question the reality of what is genuine sentiment and what isn't. dave never knew what was genuine and what was irony so he just sort of existed in this sincerity-ironic limbo and always did the opposite of what he genuinely felt on principle even if it always did originate from a genuine place.
"it just a joke bro i was just being ironic i dont actually x" is so much more trust-breaking and psychologically damaging than "wait are you being serious" / "i am being so fucking fr rn davy gravy" / "ok thats actually pretty fucking awesome. giant ass wizard statue" / "RIGHT"
how much about dave would change do you think? his character arc would be completely different for one thing, i think he'd have it good aside from mom's alcohol issues. he'd be left with the sweet and funny parts of him that we see at the end of the comic. the fake coolguy stuff is out, but this remains. this is dave in his element and we see it as early as act 1
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he'd probably have no shades growing up in the lalonde residence* either cause those were given to him by bro straight out of the crater as an extension of his own cool image. and john gave dave ben stiller’s aviators for his 13th birthday to replace them so he could “spread his wings”
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dave said he was wearing them for the ironies but i kind of doubt it. maybe post-irony but there was some reacharound to it being genuine because dave never put those pointy anime shades on his face again.
*though... it’s kind of hard to imagine him without his shades at all? B2 dave still got stiller’s shades from stiller himself so maybe getting them is a universal constant. i can imagine mom getting him them as a birthday gift cause shes pretty wealthy and probably could buy it out in an auction. but also itd be cool if john still gave him it as a gift
dave is actually a lot more genuine and easy to read than he lets on even when grappling with his upbringing with B1 dirk (again, see this post). this can be seen all throughout he comic but a good example is the evolution of thoughts about his interest in the preserved dead things in his room:
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if B1 roxy was dave's guardian he probably WOULD have pursued paleontology because she wouldve indulged him in it and probably find it cool and worthwhile to pursue, instead of allowing dave to flounder under ironic detachment, being poisoned by irony to the point of gaslighting himself into believing he doesnt actually believe he thinks this shit is cool. even if it was indulged in this such a way; a superficially kitsch and ironic appearing presentation, it comes from a genuine place and inspires genuine interest. just read the comments.
basically, i think if B1 roxy raised dave, their relationship would have a surface level appearance of being bizarre or over-the-top but they’d have an unsaid mutual understanding that it’s completely in earnest and just build on each other's funny and absurd gestures of affection. rather than seeing it as one-upping each other, it'd more like collaboration of some silly bullshit that you take a step back and look at full and just say, "fucking incredible"
speaking of paleontology, mom had the proto-ectobiology lab. maybe they'd be able to use the equipment to appearify paradox ghost imprints of the dead shit to create paradox clones of things from the cambrian era??? sounds like a fun mother son bonding activity. and theyd actually put the sciencey shit in the household to use
oh god i know exactly the kinds of music shed listen too also growing up as a teen in the 80s. she on that (post)-punk/art rock/new wave/new romantic mtv stuff. XTC shit fr. this is a B-52S HOUSEHOLD. maybe the associates for the campy melodramatic flair. so he gets to keep the record on his shirt cause he is an enjoyer of the shit in her vinyl collection. dave would still gravitate towards musical expression and music itself but of more variety outside of just rap, with an 80s-90s, even 70s flavor due to mom’s influence. see this for perhaps a glimpse. ​she probably visited new york city a lot for business trips and because the music scene was cool as hell around that time, imports came straight from jfk airport, she probably got in on that a bit and have remnants in the form of vinyls and cassettes. in this way she could be distributing void to dave (influencing him with forgotten / presently irrelevant music). now he can REALLY rave about bands none of his friends have heard of. “hey davy grvay watcha listenin to” (he holds up vinyl cover) “omg snakefinger”
btw dave lalonde would look like this to me
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k1rishiki · 1 year
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fuck fuck fuck shit
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13ratio · 2 years
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Xenoblade 2 ruined the series for an entire generation of people, it really is sad
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llycaons · 2 years
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these reviewers like the movie way more than I did ansjdj I thought the clichéd inspiring speech was dumb and unnecessary
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luvyunjinxo · 4 months
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merry christmas, nerd. g!pyunjin x fem!reader
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~ a/n note: HI GUYSS its been so long since I wrote a fic and as a Christmas present to you guys I came up with this ‼️
CW: not proofread, bully yunjin, blackmailing, humiliation, spanking, lmk if I missed ,, cuz I probably missed a lot:(
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December 20th, 2023
UGH. how much you hated huh yunjin. the "it" girl of the school.
you hated her with all your life and she was your enemy ever since you transferred schools. the school was a rich neat looking school, but yet not enough to your liking. neither were the students. you thought everyone was just a snobby rich kid so either way, you avoided everyone. you only had one best friend.
kim chaewon ☺️.
she was the sweetest and purest girl. yes friends with everyone, but you both were THE duo. you weren't the most popular in school but you had hidden beauty. chaewon acknowledged that and immediately came your friend.
anyways, it was around the holidays and yes I guess you could say you and chaewon were a thing. it wasn't serious but yet you two were not friends but not lovers. it was more of a situation ship and you both dont know how you ended up like this.
only ONE person knows about you two.
small hints,, they push you around in the halls & pours water on your head
call you a "whore" even if you haven't lost your virginity and even make you do her homework half of the time.
how did this all happen & how did she find out? it happened when one day you and chaewon were making out in the bathroom out in the open like nobody would even enter. yes you guys were still in a situation at the time but who cares????
huh yunjin walked in, in pure shock. before speaking she snapped a few pictures and shouted.
"YAH I KNEW IT." and you two would have to obey yunjin and do whatever she says, because you know damn well shes using that for blackmail. that just made her want to bully you more.
fast forwarding to present day,, December 23rd, 2023. the tormenting, the bullying and the humiliation you kept up with. you were a strong girl and was not gonna give up easily. tonight was the night of the christmas party for seniors. of course yunjin is gonna be there.
you showed up in your red dress with a bow in front and bow ties in your hair giving 🎀. you looked stunning. you got picked up by chaewon and left the house asap.
I thought everyone were joking about about the amount of people coming to the party, BUT OMG they were wrong. it was way more than the amount they expected and the place was packed.
colorful lights beaming from upstairs toward the crowd, the loud speakers draining all the sounds out, and just everyone having a good time in general. you were usually scared by these things but tonight was your own time to shine.
you purposely started to dance next to yunjin and her friends,, whyd you do this? to prove her wrong. to prove you are strong and shes not all that.
grinding up against chaewon, teasing her, and for some reason yunjin was watching all that. it was what you expected but why is she staring at you with lust? she was dancing as well but started to get lost into you and chaewon.
she walked over to you two and cleared her throat. now all the attention was on her, you, and chaewon. her friends were watching and there seemed to be a small little crowd.
"wtf are you guys even doing you look like dumbasses". she lied. she just wants to get a reaction out of you.
"shut the fuck up and mind your own business. if you dont like what me and chaewon are doing then move else where because honestly im so fucking fed up with your bullshit!." you exclaimed.
and that was the first time you stood up for yourself. never did you ever dare to talk back to her. she was in shock too. you were never like this and that made her mad as fuck.
she was frozen. so was chaewon and everyone else in the crowd.
"shut up, come with me." she finally spoke.
"no ew im not going anywhere with you."
"y/n." she said in a stern voice. in her head she was wondering why were you acting like a brat. she was fed up and angry she did not want to lose it in front of the crowd. that would ruin her whole popularity status in general.
she suddenly walked closer to your ear and whispered
"stop acting like a fucking brat,, come with me or ill show the whole school what you and chaewon were doing in the bathroom." she backed away leaving your neck all tingly from her hot breath on your neck. you simply just nodded with tears in your eyes threatening to fall any second now.
she took your wrist forcefully and dragged you out to the nearest room immediately. chaewon stood there and couldn't do anything because yes, she did not forget about the blackmail and was too scared to go. she wished the best for you and tried not to worry so she danced with her other friends. the crowd completely forgot about the two of you and started partying hard again.
"s-shit yunjin! whats your problem!" she locked the door and practically pushed/threw you onto the bed. she was more mad than ever it felt like you should actually stay quiet.
"get on all fours, dont make me repeat myself and just do it."
"no fuck you."
"why are you being so fucking stubborn y/n!" she shouted and forced you on all fours herself.
"it wasn't that hard and this would go more easy for you if you just listened." she flipped up that thin dress of yours and started to drag her fingers along your hole and cunt. "how would chaewon feel about this hm?~ seeing her current situationship about to get fucked by another girl."
you whined by her words and earned one smack to your ass. she tied your hands up with her belt.
"f-fuck you!" you managed to gasp out.
"you wont be saying that once im done with you. your gonna learn to be put in your fucking place y/n."
you earned ten hits to your ass and your already practically begging. for mercy, and for her to stop. she slid two of her fingers in for one second so you could feel what was coming for you. "please .. hngg~ i want m-more." well you werent saying that a minute ago weren't you? ugh how bad yunjin was turned on by the sight of seeing you this fucked out already. you guys haven't even started and your hair is messed up and tears rolling down your eyes.
"arent you ashamed or embarrassed? your bully is fucking you and your begging for her? suddenly you wanna be touched by me yeah?"
she flipped you over aggressively and started to bite on your earlobe whispering dirty little nothings into your ear. "be a good girl for me tonight and maybe ill let you come." the feeling of her breath fanning your neck again, ugh. leaving trails of kisses along your neck and leaving a few marks,, kinda everywhere. fondling with your breasts as she just kisses every little spot.
she started to eat you out. kitten licks on your clit, teasing it in anyway she could and looked at you while doing it. "eyes on me, dont close your eyes." she continued to circle your bundle of nerves with her tongue as two fingers slid into your wet cunt. "y-yunjin! I c-cant .. ughh.. take i-it" you were a virgin. but you knew about all of this because you read fics by yourself at night and watched explicit things when you felt like it. you were a dirty ass girl and you knew it.
"this is a better side of you isn't it? such an obedient girl,, not being all up on chaewon."
"hngg ..!" all you could groan out. you threw your head back in pleasure and tried to cover your mouth but yunjin didn't tolerate it. it felt like you were being overstimulated. the pleasure going all to your clit felt like so much you started to cry again.
"I c-cant hold it in yunjin."
"you can and you will." she says speeding up her fingers as you threw a pillow on your face and screamed. "fuck I really cant take this!" .
it was all too much for you. her pinching your sensitive tits while finger fucking her. she pulled her fingers out and you whined louder than you ever did before cuz of the loss of pleasure. "relax slut you'll get what you want."
she told you to close your eyes so you couldn't see a single thing and you obeyed. you really didn't open your eyes because you cared for the surprise. you just heard unzipping .. and clothing being tossed around. you felt a tip going into you and .. oh my gosh was this her?
she pushed further in and you waited for it to stop but she put her whole into you. fuck she was so deep into you. "you can open your eyes now." oh what a sight. yunjin was fully undressed with her hair up into a ponytail and her thick ass cock inserted into you.
she slowly started to move and you were already whining. "nggh .. faster yunjin~"
she started to trust into you more aggressively as if she wanted it and was desperate asf. beast mode yunjin?! ..
she gave it all and put all her energy in you.
"y/n what if chaewon saw you like this for me .. mmh .. right now? disappointed r-right?"
"your such a fucking obedient for me and only I can make you feel like this."
she smacked your inner thigh as you both were almost there. she was hitting the right spots that got you weak in the knees literally it was impossible to stop making sounds now.
"chaewon cant make you feel like this cant she? she can never be me."
you cried out to her "g-gonna come!~" and thats what you did without no hesitation or no permission, she was okay with it though. your fluids dripping out of your wet cunt and she was still needing to come,, leaving you to be overstimulated.
"fuck y/n! y-your fucking mine remember that. ugh .. im almost there." she threw her head back and came in you.
you both smiled at each other for once and you were so worn out you couldn't even move,, if you even tried to get up you would collapse.
"merry christmas, nerd." she put on her clothes and left. leaving you soaked in your own mess. you hated her so much ugh. you finally checked your phone and read,,
*63 missed calls from chaewon<3*
from that day on you were yunjins. she made you stay away from chaewon at all times.
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A/N: this was not proofread AND IM SORRY IF THIS CRINGED YOU OUT OR THIS WAS JUST NOT IT. im really hungry please spare me bro 😓✊.
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naartjie-hijabi · 4 months
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Can I just say something really quick?
Ever since that damned "Our Flag Means Death" was cancelled, mind you was this show even popular outside of the US because I legitimately have never even heard of it before, a lot of you so called "allies" have been showing your true colours.
The fact that you can raise $20k, create and sign petitions, even go as far as organising a billboard for a freaking show that has KNOWN zionists in its crew, but you couldn't spend even a portion of that energy for people who are actively facing a genocide says a lot about who you are as a person. The fact that you have the nerve to go into Palestinian spaces and try to justify your actions when they call you out, really where do any of you get the audacity?
These people are grieving. They have family and friends dying and fighting for their right to even exist and you have the damn nerve to go to their inboxes and whine about a fucking gay pirate show. If you felt offended by victims calling you out for your bullshit and made statements about reconsidering your stance on the on-going genocide, then guess what? You're not as great a person as you think you are.
Standing in solidarity with Palestine isn't some sort of trend or community project that you can just opt out of. Standing in solidarity with Palestine isn't something you can brag about or hold over the heads of actual Palestinians as if having basic human decency is something to be proud of.
If your allyship is that fragile, you're not actually an ally, you don't actually care about Palestine, all you are is an opportunist looking for some way to show off your white-savior complex.
Your opinions, believe it or not, does not matter more than the opinions of the victims of a 76-year occupation. If they tell you they're uncomfortable, you LISTEN. If they call you out for your bullshit, you LISTEN. No Palestinian owes you any explanation for their pain, so can you please stop looking for validation by leaving your shitty explanations in the inboxes of Palestinians? It's really not that hard to not be an ass.
The world has bigger problems than your pirate show, so get your head out of your ass and actually do something constructive.
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quasi-normalcy · 7 months
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Which Star Trek series should you start with?
The Original Series: Advantages: + The one that started it all + Has some sophisticated and socially conscious science fiction that has held up exceptionally well + The lead characters all have really good chemistry and fun to see play off of one another + It's what most people probably think of when you say Star Trek (together with TNG) Disadvantages: - It can feel very dated and kind of sexist, particularly in its treatment of women - The sci-fi and social commentary may have held up, but damn it, the special effects really haven't - When TOS is bad, it's really, really bad.
The Animated Series: Advantages: + Basically just more TOS. Disadvantages: - Basically just more TOS, but substituting extremely cheap animation for bad special effects
The Next Generation: Advantages: + Probably the most popular one at this point + The crew is full of interesting characters and they're fun to spend time with + Just really smart people solving Space Mysteries + Socialist space utopia + Geordi-And-Data! + Lots of cool sci-fi concepts and social commentary + It's what most people probably think of when you say Star Trek (together with TOS) Disadvantages: - Although not in the same way as TOS, it can feel dated at times, particularly in terms of its treatment of women and it's near complete refusal to acknowledge queerness - Without wanting to bias viewer opinion, the first season is widely considered to be pretty bad - The series makes no bones about the fact that the socialist space utopia is better than every other society that has ever existed and will reiterate this point over and over again
Deep Space Nine: Advantages: + The most popular Trek series on Tumblr + Has a complete story arc, as well as arcs for all of its characters, including the extremely minor ones + Plain, simple, Garak. The humble tailor. + Garashir, if you're into that + Seriously has a really sophisticated treatment of things like post-colonial politics, anthropology, worldbuilding, and the horrors of warfare + Just the characters in general + Is the only Star Trek prior to the 2010s to even look meaningfully at queer representation Disadvantages: - Has an absolutely massive inferiority complex with respect to TNG and this drives a few poor writing decisions that seemingly exist just to poke the Socialist Space Utopia in its eye - Introduces a space religion and then just slowly turns it into Christianity with the numbers filed off - Seems to think that sexual harassment is just a quirky eccentricity - There's no women in its writers' room, and frankly it shows
Voyager: Advantages: + Probably the clearest instance of found family in space + Lots of really good episodes + Lots of fun new characters + Strong female role models + "Set a course...for home." Disadvantages: - Continuity? I never knew her! - Probably about 90% of Trek's reputation for technobabble comes from this one series - Even less queerness than TNG. - Only like...3 characters actually get arcs. - The first few seasons lean very hard into bullshit fake "Native American" spiritualism with one of the characters - How do these guys have warp drive but can't find any water?
Enterprise: Advantages: + Chronologically the first series + 90% less technobabble + The only series to plausibly frame our heroes as astronauts...on some kind of...star trek. + Still has probably the best production values of any series + Makes alien cultures of the week feel somehow richer and deeper than other series + Faith of the Heart is good, fuck you. Disadvantages: - Oh my god, the decon scenes - Seriously, if you've ever wondered what a "sexy" series written by a 14 year old boy who's only ever seen a bit of scrambled softcore porn on late-night cable would be like, this is the show for you - Somehow feels more sexist and racist than the show from the '60s - Seriously, the POC characters mostly exist to fill seats on the bridge; the women constantly have to undress themselves - Hellooooo, Bush II-era political analogies - Scott Bakula is a good actor but you wouldn't know it from this series - In season 3, they add a tambourine beat to Faith of the Heart and ruin it
Discovery: Advantages: + Noticed the lack of queer characters in the first 50 years of Star Trek canon and decided to make up for lost time + Seriously, the "Bury Your Gays" tally for this series is like...negative two + Just incredible representation in general + Some really good science fiction plots, particularly in later series + Some really fun, memorable characters + It's still running, so it has an active fandom on Tumblr Disadvantages: - Makes Elon Musk out to be one of the great visionary geniuses of history - Not really representative of Star Trek as a whole - The series swerves wildly in tone because of constant, behind-the-scenes churn in the writers' room - Offputtingly grimdark first season - Let's be honest, none of the season-long arcs have actually had satisfying conclusions - Half the cast feels like it's just there for exposition and to be killed for cheap drama
Picard: Advantages: + Has the best dramatic acting of any Star Trek series by a fair margin + Has the best musical score of any Star Trek series + Introduces a whole crew of fascinating new characters + Introduces all kinds of fascinating transhumanist concepts + AGNES. JURATI. Disadvantages: - You know all of those fascinating new characters that I mentioned? Yeah, it unceremoniously gets rid of all of them to bring back the old TNG gang. - You know that all of those fascinating transhumanist concepts that I mentioned? Yeah, it gets rid of those too so that to give us some generic action - Oh my god, someone teach the set designers to operate a fucking light switch - Grimdark - Nossssstalgia - Each season is basically unrelated to every other season - Depends so heavily on TNG that its final season is basically unwatchable if you haven't already seen a 30-year-old TV series
Lower Decks: Advantages: + It has probably the most efficient storytelling that I've ever seen; seriously, it's incredible how much it can fit into a half hour episode + It has a bunch of delightful, archetypical characters you get to know and love + You like hanging out with these people + The ship is kind of crap and you will learn to love it that way. + Basically a sitcom version of TNG. + Has a big fandom on Tumblr Disadvantages: - The art style is pretty Rick & Morty-ish - It takes most of its first season to really strike a good balance between being a sitcom and being a Star Trek series - The main character, Mariner, is kind of unlikable for the first season or so (she gets better) - Lots of callbacks to other series (though always either incidental or clearly explained) - Given that it's the first Star Trek sitcom, the comedy is honestly kinda the weakest part? Subjective I know.
Prodigy: Advantages: + Absolutely gorgeous to look at; the most visually stunning Star Trek by quite a ways + Lots of fun new characters on a cool ship + Gives you clear on-boarding notes to the Star Trek franchise if you're watching it for the first time + Can be watched on its own, but also works as a direct sequel to Voyager and a prequel to Picard (making both of them retoractively better, in fact) + Kind of like the Clone Wars or Rebels of the Star Trek universe, I guess? + Found family in space! The next generation! + Soon to be running on Netflix, so if you already have a Netflix subscription, you don't need to pay for another service + Written for a younger audience. Not necessarily an advantage, but nice if you happen to like family friendly animation or YA. Disadvantages: - *sigh* You basically need to pirate it. Thanks, Paramount. - Has a second season that we may or may not ever actually get to see even through piracy. Thanks, Paramount. - Isn't airing on the same streaming service as all of the other ones. Thanks, Paramount
Strange New Worlds: Advantages: + Basically what the original series would be if it were released today, rather than 57 years ago; all of the cool, socially consciousness sci-fi adventure, none of the weird 60s sexism + Fun, awesome characters you get to like spending time with right away + Incredible visuals + Nifty sci-fi concepts, mostly without the 90s-style technobabble Disadvantages: - A huge cast with only ten episodes a season, so many of them feel underdeveloped - Unfortunately, a bunch of its characters are younger versions of the characters from The Original Series, and they hog most of the spotlight; and the characters whose futures aren't locked in stone are kind of treated as disposable - In general, it needs to spend less time being a prequel, and more time being its own thing - "What if Starfleet ran into the Xenomorphs from Alien?" "Well, they'd probably kill them." "Okay, let's spend several episodes on this."
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arcanumofthestars · 2 months
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sorry if its weird- I just got out of a toxic relationship and have been absolutely LIVING! for the Hazbin and Helluva boss boys being sweet! Could you maybe do something like ideal dates they would do with a reader? Anything really- just in the genre of like 'cute little scenarios you'd make up before falling asleep'
ps loved your alastor headcannon <3
Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss boys' ideal dates (part 1)
Sum: Where they would prefer to spend their time with you as a date.
Characters included: Alastor, Lucifer, Angel Dust, Blitzø, Stolas, Moxie
Warnings: none, it's just fluff, except for like, three curse words and Angel Dust's job (I've put a note on where that part starts). Reader is gender neutral, if I have missed a pronoun here or there please let me know.
Alastor
Alastor lived in the 1930s. That’s all that needs to be said. A really classy dinner in the most expensive restaurant there is, with low lights and candles. And live music. Oh, the live music. Hell might be a filthy place, but the songs are… well… heavenly. You chat and laugh and eat with the soft sound of the sax playing in the background, the Imp on the stage singing “Somewhere over the rainbow” in a sensual voice. Once you finish eating, Alastor gets up and goes over to the stage. He says something to the musicians and they start playing a quicker rhythm, which you quickly recognize to be one of the most popular dances in the 30’s, called the jive. And you’re not surprised when your date offers you his hand and guides you to the dancing floor.
After a long night, you two go for a walk outside, chatting mainly about the Hotel. You tell him that you believe in redemption, and he finds it foolish, yet adorable. After that, the conversation gets deeper. You talk about secret hopes and regrets, about your lives on earth, what you would have done differently. It’s the first time Alastor is being this open with someone, and you know it. Your date ends with him walking you back to your hotel room and kissing your hand gently, before he wishes goodnight and walks away with one of his few real smiles.
Lucifer
Lucifer gets easily bored- no, tired with all the “King of Hell” bullshit. After all, he’s just a father whose wife recently dumped him. And at first it was really hard for you two to get close, him being afraid you would leave him like everyone else did. You’re not that kind of person, and he knows that now. Still, going out can sometimes be too much for him. All the Sinners and Hellborn running the moment they see him, it makes him feel more lonely, even with you by his side.
So he prefers to stay at home. You two make something to eat, like pancakes (they’re his favorite, trust me). As you eat, you start talking about anything and everything- except ducks, that’s a sensitive subject. The conversation will most likely end with Lucifer showing you some old album with photos of him playing with Charlie when she was a child. After you finish eating, you cuddle on the couch, watching TV. He ends up falling asleep in your arms (you’re the big spoon and I’m not negotiating over that), your fingers caressing his blonde hair.
Angel Dust
Before you proceed, I would like to note that this work includes mentions of Angel Dust’s job. If this kind of content is triggering for you, I would suggest reading only the second paragraph.
Angel’s job is a great part of his life. He might hate it because of Valentino but it is what he does best. So of course he wants to show you his talent- pole dancing. The best place to do that is a famous club near the Hotel (one that Valentino doesn’t go to often.) The owner is more than happy to have the famous Angel Dust dancing exclusively in their business, even if it is only for one night. The show starts, and Angel dedicates the night to you, making all the sinners turn around to see the one that stole the pornstar’s heart. The Spider Demon doesn’t fail to make you blush repeatedly during the show, teasing you openly, in a way you haven’t seen before, not even in his movies.
After the performance ends, you’re too shy to even talk to him, a situation that ends with huge amounts of laughing from both of you. After that you go for a walk outside, and probably have some takeout, because, well, Charlie decided that four times a week the Hotel will be serving boiled vegetables for dinner, “so everyone can stay healthy”, and it isn’t exactly the ideal food for a day. You two end up dancing in the music of some other club in the city, hidden from all eyes. Angel is amazed with the fact that you can enjoy something as simple as that. When you finally head back to the hotel, he replays the sweet moments over and over again in his head and that’s maybe one of the first times he’s blushed from something like that.
Stolas
When I say Stolas has money, I mean you couldn't spend one milionth of it in this lifetime, even if you wanted. He's used to paying for everything, so he really doesn't mind you choosing where you want to go- even if it is the most expensive place in Hell. He has a small panick attack on what he should wear, poor thing hasn't been to a date since, well, forever. He is extremely nervous when he comes to pick you up, but quickly relaxes when you start a conversation. The place is absolutely adorable after all you chose it, and the food is really delicious. Well, I don't have to say much, it's your typical ideal date.
After you two finish eating, you go to the Owl Demon's house (or castle I don't think something that huge is a house). You stand at the balcony for a long time, gazing at the stars, occasionally making a comment on astronomy (after you found out about Stolas' obsession with celestial objects you made your own research). The moments are truly blissful, and when he takes your hand and guides you inside, it's the most sweet thing you have ever seen- he doesn't want anything but you close to him, to feel you scent as he wraps his hands around your waist, burying his face in your neck, trying to get as much of you as possible. Not in a naughty sort of way. Just you, him, and the stars.
Blitzø
Blitz simply doesn't have the time. Don't mistake me, he loves you, but his job is taking up most his days and even with Moxie and Millie's help, he barely manages. He always finds a way to be with you if not daily, three or four times a week. Sometimes you just visit the I.M.P. "facility" and tidy up a bit while he's away, maybe make lunch for everyone and hang out with Loona, who surprisingly thinks you're a very cool person. Sometimes you join him in his little "adventures" in the human world, after all it's a great workout and you have to keep fit.
If Blitz actually finds some time to spend with you exclusively, it will either be eating snacks, cuddling on the couch with him complaining about work. Or. The most extreme fucking thing you ever imagined, like, extreme sports or something. The Imp loves the adrenaline in his veins, and you do too, once you get used to it. After all you'd do anything to spend time with the man you fell in love with. You're a bit dazed afterwards but for some reason he loves seeing you tripping around.
Moxie
Moxie is what you'd call a lovebird. The stereotype one. He buys you flowers and escorts you to the car, putting a rose in your hair or something like that. His suit is literally perfect and you wonder how many times he must have ironed it before he came to your place. Moxie is nervous. Really really nervous. He wants everything to be perfect, but once you reassure him, telling him that everything will be perfect just because you two are together he finally gets to relax. As he drives you there, you constantly ask where you're going (he only told you to dress classy and he's not disappointed with the results), but he doesn't tell you anything. "It's a surprise, you'll like it, I promise". The place is absolutely gorgeous but you can't help but wonder how much it cost... But Moxie's got you covered.
It's the ideal date. And gosh you have so much to talk about. When it ends (the Imp implies every four seconds that there will be more), the moment finds you standing in front of your house door, starting into each others eyes. Because in Hell, you found a soulmate.
That's all for now! I'm sorry that it's too short, I didn't have more time with my upcoming exams. I promise there will be a lot more though! I'm already working on a part two.
The characters that will be included are: Husker, Vox, Valentino, Adam, Sir Pentious, Fizzarolli, Striker.
If you want me to add any more, feel free to ask.
My requests are closed at the moment, regarding anything else. I will open them again around mid or end of March, though it's not sure yet.
Thanks for reading!
-Selena
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