#nonbinaryphobia

[transunity]

Transunitism was born out of a need to address transmasculine erasure in 21st Century trans politics and stresses the need for explicit transmasc inclusion. It has since developed into an idea which seeks to unite trans people of all kinds against our common oppressions and those we experience for being specific kinds of trans people.

Transunity believes transmisogyny, transandrophobia and nonbinaryphobia are three arms of the same transphobic oppression and that to resist transphobia, you must believe in the fight to eradicate all three arms of transphobia.

Eliminating transmisogyny will not eliminate transandrophobia and nonbinaryphobia.

Eliminating transandrophobia will not eliminate transmisogyny and nonbinaryphobia.

Eliminating nonbinaryphobia will not eliminate transandrophobia and transmisogyny.

All three must be combated and no trans person should be left behind.

It's time to unite around transunity

#transunity #transandrophobia #transmisogyny #nonbinaryphobia

[queerasf4ck]

Stop assuming nonbinary people are okay with you hitting on them if you’re exclusively attracted to women!!! Stop assuming nonbinary people are okay with you hitting on them if you’re exclusively attracted to men!!! Stop assuming nonbinary people are okay with monosexuals hitting on them!!!

#not every nonbinary person also identifies with a binary gender #and some nonbinary people identify with multiple genders #even if you say you’re exclusively attracted to nonbinary people #nonbinary≠equal a third gender #it covers many genders #I’m so tired of people on this site calling me a woman when they’re flirting with me #because the idea of them being attracted to someone who isn’t a woman #makes them uncomfortable #you don’t get to erase my identity for your own comfort #fuck exclusionists #exorsexism #nonbinaryphobia #enbyphobia #transphobia #lgbtq #lgbtqa #lgbtqplus #lgbtqia #queer #monosexual #monosexuals #lgbtqiia+ #lgbt #nonbinary #nb #enby

[betaoctillery]

i dont follow ppl that dont support mspec lesbians btw. not only is it bullshit gender/sexuality policing but its ahistorical as shit when bisexuals & lesbians were almost indisguishable from one another until a very specific point in the 1970s when terfs and political lesbians began dividing the community by excluding anyone who had ANY association to perceived masculinity, which included trans women (bcus terfs thought of them as men), bi women for sleeping with men, butches for expressing masculinity, and women of color for racist reasons which posited that they arent feminine/women bcus many dont look/act/talk exactly like cis/het white women.

at any rate, the current accepted definition for the term lesbian is inherently bisexual! everyone says it means “attraction to women and nonbinary ppl” (which is nb-phobic outright ANYWAYS by lumping ALL nonbinary ppl with women -- this is what ppl are criticizing when they say we’re treated as “women-lite”) so if youre not being a nb-phobic asshat, you then have to acknowledge that woman and nonbinary are different genders, thereby making lesbianism a fundamentally bisexual identity as it includes to attraction to two or more genders. 

like think critically for a moment. what about a bigender lesbian who feels like they are both a man and a woman? do you personally get to decide, do you personally get to have the authority, to choose which identity of theirs to suppress in order to cram them into one specific neat little box? whichever way you try to pigeonhole them, youre promoting gender binarism, which is nb-phobic. trying to cut up and divide ppl’s identities like nations erecting borders is dehumanizing. 

another aspect of this issue ive noticed is that almost every single person ive met who self-identifies as a bi or mspec lesbian is trans or nonbinary. they often have complicated relationships to gender and sexuality that sweeping statements like “lesbians cant like men!!!” end up erasing their experiences. ive seen ppl claim its a term used by cis women to describe sleeping with trans women and i cant stress enough how in all the reading and research ive done on bi lesbianism that ive never once seen that cited as a definition or something having been done in practice. its literally just ignorant teenagers or young adults in their early 20s who know nothing about their community’s culture or history talking straight out of their asses. and if there are ppl who do this, theyre extreme outliers and its disingenous to act like mspec lesbians would defend such a level of transphobia when, again, most mspec lesbians are transgender themselves and are well aware that this division occured bcus of terfs.

read queer history yall. for the love of whatever you consider sacred and holy in this world pls fucking read queer history. dont get all of your information off of social media, random unsourced carrds made by teenagers who obviously dont make an effort to learn about their own community, and bad faith internet debaters who make conclusions drawn off what amounts to nothing more than “vibes” essentially. these people have really big loud mouths, but theyre simply wrong. material history will never agree with them. 

throughout history, bi and lesbian have more or less meant and were treated as the same thing, including both women who exclusively were attracted to other women AS WELL AS women who were attracted to both women and men.

and until a single exclusionist can provide sources that can prove that 70′s lesbian separatism wasn’t a huge, well documented movement that resulted in much of the exclusionary attitudes and its effects we see even today, im just gonna continue to laugh at how childishly they cover their ears and go “la la la la” when presented with verifiable and cited evidence that this happened.

#bi lesbian #mspec lesbian #nonbinary #nonbinaryphobia #queer history

[whatrain]

I just read a post where one person were complaining about their ex, and how they hate all men and will not date any men anymore. They also wrote that their ex indentified as nonbinary, but were ''only out to their friends, which tecnically makes them a man'', and the person also states ''it's ok to call them a man because they were abusive to me''. Like that to me is nonbinaryphobic! It sucks that the person were abusive, but it does not excuse invalidating their gender.

#nonbinaryphobia #nonbinary #enbyphobia

[terrakatten]

TW // Nonbinary-phobia, vent //

My parents have now both expressed contempt for the idea of nonbinary identity due to my aunt calling her newborn baby a 'they'

I'm never gonna get out of this gender closet, man. Even though my dad could perhaps come around to the idea of me being NB over the course of a few years, as he supports me being gay and supports trans rights (though would still be somewhat uncomfy for his own kid to be under the trans umbrella, entirely bc of the homophobic environment he was raised in still somewhat hampering him), my mom would never accept it. She's far too Catholic.

And so this whole 'theybie' situation just makes it all the more uncomfortable. Just. Goddamn it. Sorry for the vent but I wanted to just jot down these frustrations somewhere rq.

Edit: Like if it weren't for the irl friends at college I have who call me Terra and use my pronouns, shit would be so awful rn. At the moment its disconcerting but tolerable, but like. Man. *man.* Why must things be so difficult.

#nonbinaryphobia #cw vent

[system-of-a-feather]

Reminder to the fellow nonbinaries out there that you do not have to put a "trans____" in front of your gender identity or identify in any relation to the binary if said labels don't fit and work for you. Don't force yourself to describe within the binary to feel part of the trans community and/or be taken as more platable to public. Its more than acceptable to just be nonbinary.

Also it is 100% valid and okay to ALSO use those terms and that does not reduce your "nonbinariness" if you feel like said terms help / fit. Both can coexist

#alter: riku #nonbinary #nonbinaryphobia #gender binary #lgbt #lgbtqia #pride #they them #nonbinary pride

[transenbyconfessions]

I don't know how to say this but I need to say it.

I have been questioning my gender for almost three years now, and I think I finally figured out. I don't feel like an specific label is made up for me, the closest I get is being a non binary girl. I kind of like being a girl but I also fricking would love being enby. So that's that.

Early in the day while I was still figuring out this, I was way more open about it. I didn't really got out of the closest, but I allowed myself to experiment with a made up binder (I sometimes look back at that time and think about how idiot I was back then, once I tried to bind with some big hairbands and I didn't even last an hour until I was choking. Another time I tried to use a bandana and got it stuck so I went all my day of school with that thing badly tied around by stomach. Gosh I was so dumb xdd. Don't worry y'all I eventually got my hands on two way-to-small tops that were the safest way to go and I used them responsably.) I allowed myself to put she/they on my social medias (my parents don't usually check my media and they don't really know much english so I was safe). I even dared to draw my flag sometimes and it would make me so happy.

But the things is that, recently, some of my close friends came out as another gender. One is trans and the other is non binary. My parents eventually heard of their thing through different ways.

The thing is that my parents aren't homophobic. They always told my siblings and I that they wouldn't have any kind of problem if we liked girls when we grew up and that, and they seemed really supportive of mtf and ftm trans people.

But when my friends did come out (kinda)...

They say that they believe they are just seeking attention. They laught at my enby friend's gender, they kind of low key mock it off. They say things like the world is going mad and that next thing is someone identifying as an animal or something. I have to laught along. They say they support but that holy cow that sounds invented and things like that.

I also had a problem with my classmates. One of them, somehow found my old twitter account, that I hadn't touched in months and in which I have the pronouns they/them specified. They leaked it to my classmates and they were asking me about it, including some girls that are really mean to me. I freaked out and I made up a story about some old friend of mine that used to be a girl but was now nb and whom I gifted my twitter account, I even logged in to make some fake tweet addressing it. They kind of belived it. But then again, they started mocking that one friend for their gender. I knew they weren't real, but it hurted.

Because of this reasons I decided to make a decision.

I am gonna be a non-binary girl, but no one will know. I am never coming out to anyone ever again.

At this point I came on terms with my boobs, they are small anyway and since I love baggy clothes most of the times they don't show. My parents leave me dress as I want anyway so it's pog on that sense. I can't really use my fake binder atm cuz I had covid and since then I haven't really recovered and it hurts so bad and I can't breathe, but if it ever goes away and I need it, it's there.

It's ok if I can't use they pronouns too, she/hers are also good and I can deal with it. It's not like in spanish we have any that sound good and on the internet most people would call me a she anyway.

I feel it would be easier this way. I will hide the non-binary part of my gender away. The good thing tho is that one day I will live on my own. I wouldn't be able to come out on the public but maybe, one day I will be able to have a little nb flag. I will hide it when people come visit, but I always wanted one and it will be so pog. My little secret.

It's kind of sad that I have to hide it, but I'm trying to find the positives. Less backlash plus I get to be a little spy among the other girls. It sounds so dumb but I like to thing of it like an adventure to not be sad.

I can't not say my name for obvious reasons, but to all of you. I'm here. I can't say hi. I can't reveal who I really am but I'm here, hidden. I'm here. I'm they. Please don't forget about me.

And if you ever come across a blog, talk about them with neutral pronouns in default and I don't correct you... that's cuz you are not wrong.

Maybe one day I get to come out, if the world ever changes enough but for now I will wait here. I'm not giving up I swear.

#trans #transgender #nonbinary #non binary #non-binary #nb #enby #transphobia #nbphobia #enbyphobia #nonbinaryphobia #gender dysphoria #binding #unsafe binding practices

[sorin-sunchild]

Ok last post about this but here's some simple points that it's imperative you read and understand if you genuinely care about trans people especially as one yourself;

A) No sex or gender is virtuous or sinful by default. It's a persons words and actions which determine what kind of person they are. Leave this 'innate sin' Catholic bs at the door and send the pedestal you're forcing trans fems to sit on out with it.

B) Therefore any trans person can be transphobic, transmisogynistic or transandrophobic including if they're amongst the group targeted by the intersectional terms. All of these types of bigotry are unacceptable, regardless of your personal perceived impact on yourself and others. Nobody should be subject to any kind of bigotry.

C) This does not mean ALL members of X group are Y kind of bigots but it also doesn't mean that no X group members are Y kind of bigots. It's good to be careful of these lines of thinking in anyone if we want to get rid of it but see point A.

D) Holding individuals accountable and opposing the general ideology of transmisogyny, transandrophobia and general transphobia (including nonbinaryphobia, exorsexism and transmedicalism) is more affective than demonising a whole group based on their identity. If members are radicalised or bigoted already, they're not changing their minds because you yelled at them to kill themselves nor are they unworthy of redemption.

E) Listening to people directly about the bigotry they face is the key to understanding bigotry you might not face yourself.

F) Trans unity is the tool we need to craft a fortress so strong we can weather any storm but it won't work if we believe that's enemies in our own lines.

G) Using female-orientated insults towards trans mascs is still misogynistic. Using male-orientated insults towards trans women is still transmisogynistic. Telling anyone to kill themselves for existing loudly and in a way you disapprove of, puts you in the wrong automatically. Telling someone or a whole group to kill themselves also invalidates anything else you wish to say before or after said statement.

H) Failure to understand any of this means you are helping no groups, or even yourself, instead you are likely contributing to trans harm. Including harm to the groups you are most personally invested in helping.

Equality doesn't mean making the oppressed the oppressors and it sure as hell doesn't mean the oppressed oppressing each other. Stop doing the TERFs jobs for them.

#trans #trans* #transgender #trans unity #transunity #transmisogny #antitransmasc #anti transmasculinity

[transunity]

(Reupload)

The Transunitism Symbol

This is a symbol/flag for tranunitism that I designed and edited with the suggestions of folks from a transmasc discord server I was in a while back

The symbol has a lot of layered meanings-  

The shape is meant to be reminiscent of the recycle symbol, to show how different, but related, approaches are needed to help a cause work and function. The terminals of the arrows are now the male, female and nonbinary symbols from the trans symbol. With the colours, this is the flag version, which has a white background to represent nonbinary people, and pink and blue for trans women and trans men. The colours specifically come from a trans flag from 1999 first shown on a forum called Adventures in Boyland. 

Here is a plain black version! The 3 ‘arms of transphobia’ as described in the post On Transunitism  are also represented here, showing how each bigotry feeds into other ones, and why we need unity to help combat it. Only stopping one arm of transphobia won’t work. 

[Note: 16/12/2022- This is a repost of an earlier post which I made on an old sideblog where I initially coined transunitism and created the symbol. Reuploading this to better archive the symbol's history and work more on transunitism theory]

#transandrophobia #transmisogyny #transunitism #nonbinaryphobia

[queerasf4ck]

If you think lesbians can be attracted to nonbinary and multigender people but can’t be mspec, you’re transphobic. It’s pretty simple.

#I see so many people who are anti mspec lesbians say mspec lesbians are lesbian erasure #when being anti mspec lesbians is actually nonbinary and multi gender erasure #it’s just more socially acceptable right now to say you’re anti mspec lesbians than saying you’re transphobic biphobic and monosexist #mspec #lgbtq #lgbtqplus #lgbtqia #transphobia #tw transphobia #tw exorsexism #exorsexism #monosexism #nonbinaryphobia #enbyphobia #nonbinary #multigender

[genderkoolaid]

Transandrophobia: A F.A.Q

!! Please see this updated version !!

If you find this FAQ useful and/or you want to help me out, you can donate to me here.

What is transandrophobia?

It is transphobia that targets transmasculinity. Some people also refer to it as transmisandry or anti-transmasculinity.

What are some examples of transandrophobia?

Laws blocking medical transition or puberty blockers, which come from fearmongering about "young girls ruining their bodies to become men"

The idea that AFAB trans people only transition to escape misogyny and gain male privilege

The idea that transmascs are "betraying" womanhood by transitioning, and that it would be more feminist of them to "stay women"

The erasure of transmasculine voices, history, and culture, to the point that many people do not know that transmasculine people exist, or think that transmasculine people do not face violence because they don't hear about it

Being refused important medical exams and treatment because they are only for women (such as pap smears) for transmasculine people who are legally male.

Testosterone being a protected substance which people can be fined or arrested for having without permission from a doctor.

Also see my examples of transandrophobia tag for more, and my experiences with transandrophobia tag for people's real-life accounts, and the Archive of Violence Against Transmasculine People.

Androphobia doesn't exist, though, so how can transphobia intersect with it?

The term "transandrophobia" was made to emphasize the targeting of transmasculinity, not to represent an intersection between transphobia and androphobia; the same goes for "transmisandry". Transunity theory considers misandry to be one of the "three arms of transphobia", along with misogyny and misandrogyny. All forms of transphobia view trans people as having the negative traits of masculinity/manhood and femininity/womanhood, as well as the negative trait of being unable to fit into either binary option (androgyny). This is also why transunitism uses "transmisogyny" to mean transphobia targeting transfemininity and not just as the intersection of transphobia and misogyny it was originally coined as. Alongside exorsexism/ceterophobia/nonbinaryphobia, the use of these three terms to express transphobia targeted towards different groups allows us to discuss the way different groups of trans people are perceived and treated. To quote this article, "Misandry [...] can never reliably be prevented from collapsing into transphobia." Negative traits associated with masculinity (aggression, hypersexuality, dirtiness, being a danger to vulnerable/innocent women, etc.) are used as justification to attack all kinds of trans people based on trans people as a class's unique relationship with gender, as well as intersex people's. These negative traits are also frequently used as justification for the oppression of marginalized men, who are seen as both an opponent of dominant masculinity and a threat to dominant femininity. Cis men do not need to be systematically oppressed in the same way as cis women in order for misandry/androphobia/antimasculism to be an aspect of transphobia and play a role in other forms of oppression.

Does transandrophobia mean transfems oppress transmascs?

No, not at all. Trans people cannot oppress each other for being trans; none of us have the systematic power to do that. Transfems can be transandrophobic, but that is lateral aggression. Transfems do not have any social power over transmascs. Transandrophobia is built and propagated by cis people and they are the ones who have power over us. Anyone who argues that transfems are uniquely/especially transandrophobic, that they have class privilege over transmascs, or that transmascs should separate from the wider trans community are either not arguing in good faith, or are transmisogynistic and should not be listened to.

I've heard some really bad things about the coiner of the word transandrophobia.

Firstly, the accusations at Saint were a part of a smear campaign that heavily distorted the facts to make him seem like an awful person. He also coined "transandrophobia" as an alternative to a pre-existing term, "transmisandry" - he did not create the idea nor did he start the discussion on it, merely the term now most widely used. See this explanation by doberbutts, a black trans man. But regardless of how you feel about Saint, he gets no material benefit from the use of his word. He gets no money from transandrophobia being used, it does not "support" him in any way. The word was coined in good faith to give transmascs a word to describe our experiences with specific forms of transphobia. See the "genetic" and "guilt by association" fallacies.

Why is it important to have this word?

Why is it important to have the word transmisogyny, or exorsexism/nbphobia? Those could also be grouped under "general transphobia", but it's vital that we don't because we need to understand where certain ideas come from. Bathroom bills don't just come from a general hatred of trans people - fearmongering about transfems being sexual predators is what causes them. Ignoring the transmisogyny rooted in these bathroom bills obscures the true motivation behind them. "There are only two genders" is transphobic, but it isn't based in a hatred for binary trans people - it's aimed at nonbinary people specifically. Fears about the destruction of gender come largely from nonbinary existence. Laws against transitioning do not come from fears about trans women, they come from the idea of young girls "corrupting themselves" by cutting their hair, taking testosterone, and getting affirmative surgery. By being able to point out where exactly certain transphobic ideas come from, we can better fight transphobia as a whole; that's the idea behind transunitism.

Additionally, discussing transandrophobia has helped many people (myself included) become more comfortable identifying as transmasc/trans men. Transandrophobic and antimasculist ideas are unfortunately very frequent even in queer spaces, leading many people to avoid identifying as transmasc. Speaking out about transandrophobia helps people realize that the problem exists, and heal from the damage it has caused.

This is meant to be a primer for people who dont know much about transandrophobia, to clear up common misconceptions and introduce some ideas. Please do more research into transandrophobia and the nuances of it when you can.

Further Resources:

""Transandrophobia" Primer" by nothorses

"As a transfem, what's your insight on the way transmascs are treated when talking about their experiences?" by cipheramnesia

"This is just your regular free-of-charge reminder that when people argue that transandrophobia does not exist, or that its not important enough to talk about, they are explicitly saying they don't care about sexual assault victims or victims of suicide (among other things)" by nothorses

"Transandrophobia Posts Masterpost- 2022" by transgentlemanluke

Pinned post with links to discussions about transandrophobia, baeddelism, and other issues by nothorses

"What is transandophobia actually?" by transmasc-pirate, with additions by doberbutts and psychoticallytrans

"Transandrophobic Fundamentals and the Intersections of Trans Masc Marginalization" by none-gender-left-man

"Hello, I apologise if you've already received questions like this, but can you explain why you would say that transmisandry/androphobia is distinct from misogyny?" by transfaguette

"I Am A Transwoman. I Am In The Closet. I Am Not Coming Out." by Jennifer Coates — not transandrophobia related, but a very valuable read.

This conversation between doberbutts and folly-of-alexandria on how transandrophobia differs from general transphobia and why it's important, which lists some further examples of how transandrophobia manifests in life.

Transandrophobia Explained carrd, by myself

Transmisogyny is not the intersection of transphobia and misogyny by luckyladylily

This post on misogyny, misandry, and transandrophobia by thorne1345

"tumblr can make fun of Blizzard’s Oppression Calculator all they want, that’s exactly how people act with discourse poisoned queer discussions" by cardentist

Invisible Men: FTMs and Homelessness in Toronto by the FTM Safer Shelter Project Research Team

On Hating Men (And Becoming One) by Noah Zazanis, an analysis of transmasculinity in feminism & Marxist feminst "unity theory"

#transandrophobia #m. #examples of transandrophobia #antimasculism #experiences with transandrophobia

[rjalker]

"nonbinaryphobia"

it's called exorsexism. People who hate nonbinary and genderqueer people do not have a phobia of us.

if you're going to make new words to describe bigotry the very least you can do is not use the phobia suffix. Especially like this.

#why are these people ignoring the word exorsexism it's right there

[tinyhideoutdragon]

do i have internalized misogyny or internalized lesbophobia or just homophobia or internalized transmasc phobia or internalized nonbinaryphobia (yes) (that's a really weird word i created for my purposes) or do i just need to find myself more and what i want or do i just need to stop believing myself bc it's 1:37 and past my bedtime or just have mental illness or do i

#team internalized #the answer is maybe #but some more than others #but some not at all #some are imaginary #some are a result of others #going to my mind palace #to have another character analysis sesh with myself #will come to no conclusions #will create distress #productive #my lips are chapped #and they hurt

[starlightrosari]

Lately I’ve been struggling with what I believe is dysphoria. My gender is feeling more solidified in masculinity, and I feel very nonbinary. I realized something that once felt uncomfortable was holding onto being recognizably feminine and “girlish”, and I’ve begun putting that to rest as I wish to not be associated in that binary way. I feel separate from my agab, wishing to distance myself from the perceived gender I once was. I feel hurt if I try to hold onto some connection I once had to the cis woman experience and identity, as it’s not connected to how I wish to be perceived and I’m not connected to it. I feel so confused about my dysphoria, but I the thought of looking like a cis woman makes me incredibly uncomfortable and anxious, even giving me a sense of dread because I don’t want to live my entire life looking like a girl. I want to have broad shoulders and an androgynous torso, and I want a wide jawline and toned cheekbones. I’m afraid of transitioning because I don’t know if I’ll be satisfied by it—what if I become to masculine and don’t look androgynous like I want to? There’s comfort in knowing how I look now, and it’s uncomfortable pursuing something that I’m not 100% sure of when I don’t even know how I’ll look. But I realize there are other trans masc people and men like me who like alternative ideas of masculinity that are more “soft,” or “dapper,” “feminine,” etc. You can transition and still partake in feminizing yourself just as cis men and trans fem people can. But I get confused because I don’t feel that knowing tell of feeling awful with the way I look. I can recognize dissatisfaction and feeling like I was supposed to be born androgynous, and I can see the lack of confidence in myself and portrayal of awkwardness when being stared at, but I feel such lack of assurance in who I am or where to go. I don’t know what that’s like to dislike my chest or wish I looked like a cis guy because I don’t recognize those feelings in myself, yet the discontent and weirdness I feel about my body do have me feel like maybe I would feel euphoric if I looked more masculine and just don’t know yet. I think another source of my anxiety over the idea of whether to transition or not to transition is in being nonbinary. My goal for transition would be to look androgynous in a masculine/male connected way, but I would not want to look entirely male. I don’t want facial hair or increase of body hair, and I don’t know how I’d feel if my voice became really masculine. I want to sound and look like a pretty boy. But then again by not transitioning I feel very uncomfortable in the sense where I know I’m always going to be perceived as feminine and girlish no matter how much I do to look like a boy. It feels limiting and dysphoria inducing. Sometimes I wonder if my uncertainty about transition is guided in internalized nonbinaryphobia, as a lingering fear in my mind tells me there’s no place for nonbinary people. I feel a compulsion to be male aligned or female aligned to fit into society better, even though I know I’m more neutral than I am anything else. Sigh, it’s confusing and I don’t know what to do, but maybe some day I’ll understand these thoughts better

[gender-whos-she]

I'm confused by something... why is the oyster post tagged nonbinaryphobia? surely I'm not missing anything 💀

This is from almost a year ago, but probably something to do with oysters being nonbinary.

I'm not sure

#asks

[fowlfederluft]

That moment when you see a tag with a romance between a male and a non binary character tagged as MLM

#disgusting #enbyphobia #nonbinaryphobia #its nblm #not mlm