this fucking twink will die by my hand. i’m going to find the phouse and live in its walls for six months while i slowly add drops of rat poison to everything in the kitchen they never use until one day phil decides to make a sleepless night with phil 3 and he eats one of the long stale vegan handmade kale and sprout biscuits they probably have and he starts choking cough couch blegh dan help me and dan has to suck the stale biscuits out through his mouth because he’s too pretty to know the heimlich all he knows how to do is kiss boys and he’s about to kiss this one and save his life in two ways. he sucks thr poisoned biscuits out of phil and laughs at him as the poison slowly fills his veins and kills him dead he falls over in the kitchen and smashes his head on their stupid fancy stovetop and it turns on and all the dust that’s on top catches fire because they never fucking cook and now the kitchen is on fire dans bleeding out from his head wound and dying of poison phil’s still vlogging and when the paramedics come he forces them to be part of his latest nord vpn sponsorship for while he will earn 20 thousand pounds and use none of it for dans funeral he’s dead by the way he died during the ad he’s going to buy more golden pigs
“is blocking a banner ad really the same as skipping a 30 second segment where a youtuber lies to you about how good nord vpn is” i dunno anubis better get out the weight and feather for this one