#oh my god. I will tag them all later.

[samarecharm]

tiny.

#persona 5 #oh my god. I will tag them all later. #i really regret not making the file bigger. but in my defense #i did not think i was going to color them AT ALL #so i gotta deal #so glad i finally got this done. i wanted some cheebs to use as a point of reference for my relationship chart #(romantic but MOSTLY platonic) #and at some point i was like. hey #i actually DONT have a color palette reference for most of them #so. here they are. lol. #really love how haru and ryuji came out heehee #its like. 8:30 for me as of typing this (and drafting it) #so im not doing the chart today. but i am just glad i got the hard part done <3 #akira #ryuji #ann #shiho #mishima #yusuke #futaba #makoto #haru #goro #i WOULD do the full name to get them in popular tags #but then id have to decide WHO was going in the first 5 tags. and thats too much work #and i dont rlly care to add character tags to something like this. its almost misleading LOL

[haunted-xander]

Do you think Saix' emotional co-dependence started as a Nobody or did it start as human Isa and just grew to an unhealthy degree?

#i like to think it started as a human partially bc that would make the most sense to me #(as xemnas/org xiii likes to use its members established weaknesses against them and saix/isas attatchment to axel/lea would be very easy to #manipulate him) #but also it furthers the parallels between saix' jealousy and rikus arc in kh1 #which i think is fun #obviously it wouldnt have been nearly as big a problem back then as it ended up being later on #partially bc isa wouldnt have been manipulated and gaslit so much but also #bc he wouldnt really have any fuel for it like saix got #no super-important super-secret mission they have to do #no forced emotional distance #and the idea of being 'replaced' would have been much more fueled purely by anxiety than any actual possibility of happening #oh and he also would have at least one other friend (subject x) #even if its one he wouldnt be able to talk to all the time #anyway im rambling. saix/isa got fucked up bad and i hope he gets loads of therapy bc god does he need it #isa #saix #lea #axel #leaisa #akusai #it feels kinda wrong to tag their noboy names when its them as a kids #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts birth by sleep #kh #kh bbs #art #my art #xanders art #digital art #fan art

[lunarharp]

into the deep end - 30k T orufrey fic, focusing on memory trauma, disability, and romance.

the sweet oblivion of the victim, the poisoned freedom of the other.

for one moment - it had felt like two parts returned - the needed reunion of two disparate halves. no more secrets, no more pain.

the moment you get to give back what you never wanted to take. that moment, under the night-blooming flowers, when they had both let out the same single broken sigh of relief.

but they were never whole to begin with, were they?

qifrey swore he wouldn't say 'sorry' to this man any more if he could help it - sorry is cheap now. he didn't want to be in a position ever again where you only have 'sorry' left. so he just looks down into the threads of his blanket, strains his eye until it hurts, feeling his insides - his throat, heart and head - burn with pain. he expects more, but olly says nothing.

olly says nothing.

#witch hat tag #orufrey #sorry i wanted to make a new post for my fic since the first illustration is new. #*stands in the middle of a desolate field in the pouring rain* Please Read My Tale...Blease..Oh god please..*collapses to the ground* #someone asked if there's spoilers in it. Um...yes. Sorry...it's about everything #maybe i should describe it more? it's about qifrey becoming more and more disabled - as i feel is his canon trajectory #and both of them processing the choices that have been made. it was necessary for me to explore this in order to fully understand orufrey #and for them to have the cathartic conclusion-that's why this is important to me for my witch hat fanwork making life. this connects it all #and having dived into qifrey's mind and lived through oru's feelings i was able to get to a place that is possible for them. #the hit/kudos ratio is so pathetic idek what happened. ppl opening it realising its long and saving it for later or just bailing lmfao #idek any more i hate advertising my writing i hate trying to get more ppl to read my long fics it's so hard 🥲 #i'm so much prouder of this than my art...i was able to sink deeply into the orufrey feelings i had always wanted to fully explore #so. it's there lol.........i reread the date/kiss segment today after trying to forget about it thinking maybe the fic is just BAD lol #and like.....nope! i like it very much and this is what i was trying to get across. and it's always there to be read by anyone who wants to #and i will always remember the bliss i felt while writing when i was just lost in their world and living as them. dear GOD i love them. #i'm grateful to myself that i put in the work and love to make this so that i can always come back to it. i wanna illustrate scenes properly #but i'm never satisfied with drawing things i've written because i just can't capture the vivid experience in my mind. maybe one day.

[katabay]

The Annotated Arabian Nights: Tales from 1001 Nights, edited with an introduction and notes by Paulo Lemos Horta, translated by Yasmine Seale

#book club tag #you have no idea how fucking hyped i am about this english translation oh my god #also. ngl. if you were excited about emily wilson's translation of the iliad/odyssey. maybe. spread that hype with yasmine seale's #arabian nights. perhaps. it is DEEPLY important from a cultural-language translation aspect esp wrt to the racist and orientalist #translation choices of earlier translations. also if you've never read any of the actual arabian nights tales. consider. reading them #....i might make a side blog just for this kind of thing. a book club side blog. i just got really excited abt this translation and wanted #to share it with all of you!!! #i will make a sideblog later

[that-was-anticlimactic]

one of the worst feelings ever is wanting to write but your hands hurt too much or the words just don’t want to work so you just sit there staring at a half finished doc with tears in your eyes bc you want to write and you need to write but everything is telling you that you can’t

#and that you’re a terrible writer and that no one cares aaaaaaand imposter syndrome kicks in and you just feel like crap #bc all your friends have been wriying recejtky so why can’t you??? cause they’re bETTER THAN YOU #lol idk why my head is so bad today #the feelings of inferiority and emptiness and idk worthlessness are strong and i hate it but i can’t stop it #i just wanna write!!! and like what i write!!! #but i Can’t and i haven’t liked anything i’ve written in Months and ugh i hate not being able to d something i wanna do #oh and now i’m crying??? why the frick am i cRYING litetally why is typing this making me Worse #sorry guys needed to rant #the inadequacy was strong today #something something students keep telling me how much they dislike me or how i’m whiny for asking them to be respectful and like #i Know i shouldn’t compare myself to my friends but gosh it’s hard when they’re all like. so much better than me. #and i don’t have a lot of time to be on tumblr bc of work so i just feel like i’m watching everything from afar and it’s no one’s fault but #my brain’s like no one is Doing anything it’s just my brain being dumb and i can’t stand it and I want to stop feeling empty and like i’m #missing a part of myself and like the words i write don’t matter gOD why can’t i just feel happy with where i am and not care what the kids #who hate me say or realize that no one cares that i’m not on much like i’m still Here and trying to interact it’s not like everyone hates me #for being busy or for liking side characters more than the main characters and just— #sorry #that felt good actually #idk what came over me #imma just. imma shower. then maybe delete my tags #sorry if anyone got this far aT ALL grace is either asleep or trying to sleep so i don’t wanna bother them since they slept poorly last nigh #okay done now for real sorry delete tags later sorry if you saw this and how freaking messed up ky freaking brain is

[trash-bin-ary]

I have spent nearly 24 hours playing in stars and time and I’ve only had it for 5 days, this is the face of someone who’s sane totally.

#in stars and time #that’s right it’s another I need to get all of my thoughts out there post #I’ve also learned that it’s 6 acts???? not even halfway through damn #I find it funny that they do not get suspicious of the fact that siff is like ridiculously strong compared to them all of a sudden lol #I also just love doing so many suspicious things on purpose like come on odi call me out #also theory time I’m pretty sure that the head housemaiden played apart In disappearing that country #I’m not as sure of it as I am sure that the king and siff came from that country though but that’s not saying much cause I’m 99% sure of #that now #also wooooowwwww so many cockblockers in this party 😔 #this is a post i made #and the obligatory no spoilers tag #oh yeah the other thing I wanted to tell about!!! wtf we just meet the change god #they’re sorta a meanie to siff 😔 like you’re nice to Mira but wdym you’re enjoying watching siff suffer #yoooooooo a day later and they immediately point out the weird boost in power I love this game

[madame-mongoose]

what if he hugged you from behind, groaning your name between pants, and his claws drag across your body? wow wouldn't that break the peace?? oh noooo-

#i um. am going to think about this ask #really hard #screams #oooooh my god #oh my god #anon. you motherfucker #ouughgh #self ship #monnie answers #tagging all of these as self ship so i can save them. for later #dont look #i should use the monnley tag actually i just get embarrassed

[hatterladz]

Every once in awhile I see everyone talking about R!Donnie, 12!Raph and 03!Mikey as a trio together and I just remember this fic I read where 87, 03, 12 and R all get put into a shitty death labyrinth together and one of the teams was 87! Leo and the Trio, I read it specifically bc the description was "HOW DID MIKEY BECOME THE RESPONSIBLE ONE" and I went oh my god what did they do to my boy

#Fic Reader Rambles #I'll find it later I love it sm #Anyway that team is hella dysfunctional and Mikey is judt sitting there like pls don't kill each other oh god what the fuck do I do here #And Leo runs on cartoon logic so NOBODY is listening to his ass #Every team is actually a disaster squad #If they have a tumblr I'll DEF tag them #My fav will always be Mikey Mikey my BELOVED #Once made someone think there was an assload of content on Mikey bc of how I talked about him #No actually all I have is scraps

[falmerbrook]

New TES OC’s???!???!??!

*puts head in hands* Tell me all about them!

EEEEEE I'm glad someone wants to hear about them!!!! Well, they aren't necessarily new, but I haven't talked about most of them here for the most part so they are to most of you :D

Also, little disclaimer, I'm the type to make a whole cast (family, friends, distant cousins, etc.) for like every character I make, so I'll just introduce the major ones.

(also I'll put it under the cut to not clog dashes)

Morrowind

Stellar (Nerevarine)

My Nerevarine. Argonian. 19 years old at the time of the game. Was hatched and grew up in slavery in eastern Vvardenfell before escaping and running away to Cyrodiil when he was about 11 (where he eventually got his name, and tried his best to assimilate and lose his Morrowind-isms). There he settled in a little gang of thieves in the Imperial City, where he eventually went to jail (long term) after he accidently killed a guy. From there he gets sent to Vvardenfell and [PLOT OF MORROWIND]. For obvious reasons he is not happy about that, and only goes along with Caius's schemes so he can get the money to go to Black Marsh. He has the classic teenage boy-ism of acting very hard, aggressive, apathetic, and mean to mask a more genuine curiosity, desire for adventure, and care for others. So while he'd never admit it, he gets very invested in all the mystery around the Nerevarine prophecies. When he eventually does get to Black Marsh, he finds himself equally not welcomed there, and instead accepts his place as the (potential) Nerevarine, returning to Vvardenfell.

I think he's the only character that I've ever gone through a proper deign process with so I'm very proud of his design (even though I'm still struggling to draw it accurately).

Ramshuribani (Stellar's friend/love interest)

22 year old Ashlander of the Urshilaku tribe/Nerevarine Cult. She specializes in textiles, leather working, and making clothing. After Stellar arrives at the tribe and starts hanging around to earn their good graces, she's the first to take an interest in him. She finds his seeming delusions and his earnestness endearing, but eventually becomes the first to take him seriously, becoming his biggest cheerleader and urging him forward in his journey. When Stellar goes around trying to become the Nerevarine and Hortator, she tags along with him and they bond.

Moss/Sleeps-in-Moss (Stellar's friend/love interest)

One of Stellar's childhood friends. 18 year old argonian. As a young teen when he had the chance to flee to Black Marsh, he decided to remain in Vvardenfell and work with the Twin Lamps to help others escape slavery. While at first thrilled to run back into Stellar and learn he was ok, he's put off and frustrated by Stellar essentially being a pawn of the Empire and Ashlanders, and thinks all the Nerevarine bs is just a way to manipulate him.

Skyrim

Elisere Vaelenwyn Faerendal (Last Dragonborn)

21 year old altmer with snow elf ancestry on her mother and grandmother's sides (thus her pale complexion). While most of her family doesn't share her zeal, her and her grandmother are both very passionate about learning and trying to connect with the snow elf history and culture. Her grandmother is a researcher on the topic. She has a very intense personality, but is also sort of a prissy asshole.

So I really like the interpretation of being dragonborn being a sort of allegory for neurodivergence (but more specifically autism/adhd because I have experience with the former) and so I lean into it a lot with her. She struggled a lot growing up and into adulthood with always feeling like she needed to be in complete control/order, black and white thinking, poor socialization skills, and general anger and violence issues. While she tried to pursue an education focusing on destruction magic at a prestigious university, she struggled with control of her magic and felt restricted there. All of this, living in a place with heavy thalmor propaganda, and her passion for the snow elves led to her developing very extreme xenophobic views of humans (particularly nords).

When Elisere's mother and grandmother died in very close proximity to each other, El doesn't really know how to deal with it (losing her family and the two people she felt like she had left of her lost culture) and so she decided to go scorched earth and drops her whole life and head to Skyrim to do... something drastic (she didn't think that far ahead). Once arriving there [SKYRIM INTRO] happens and it slaps a bit of sense into her. Irregardless, she decides to stay in Skyrim. While in Skyrim, over time, she realizes 1) she's dragonborn (worst thing that could happen to her ever), and 2) it might be a better cultural landscape for her. Character development happens (I'm leaving it here for now bc I'm tired and I don't want to seem like I'm rambling, but she's my problematic child whom i love)

Helge Saber-Skin (Eliere's companion? adopted mom? friend??)

Nord woman in her late 60s. Looks at Elisere and goes "I can fix her" [motherly]. A very classic born-and-bred Nord; loud, confident, friendly, and proud. She and her late husband fought in the Great War, moving to Haafingar and raising 4 kids afterwards (I'm still foggy on that timeline though). Generally anti-Imperial and pro-Stormclaok (although willfully ignorant to the Stormcloak's less-noble beliefs), becoming very pro-Stormcloak after her husband was killed by an Imperial soldier and she feels pressured to move out to Eastmarch. As a widowed empty-nester, when she stumbles upon a very injured Elisere, she takes her in and upon hearing El vent, realizes that Elisere probably just needs a surrogate mother figure in her life, and eagerly tries to fill that void and support her while she's in Skyrim and on her journey. This is not something Elisere wants, but if Helge is anything it's stubborn (and it's probably something Elisere needs). They make each other more open minded.

Oblivion

Morvyn (Hero of Kvatch)

Mid to late 20s dunmer (they/she/he btw). Grew up in Ald'ruhn to a single abusive, unstable mother, which led to them running away as a teen and ending up Cyrodiil struggling to get by. They have intense anxiety from their upbringing, and struggle with psychologically-induced selective mutism. They almost never speak, and use sign-language to communicate (when they can. most people don't know it. this just contributes to their asociality and anxiety). They're sensitive, nervous, and a people pleaser, but also very resilient, selfless (to a self destructive degree),a nd empathetic. Their desire to help others is often the only thing to override their other issues. They are a jack-of-all-trades, master of none, and can pick up new skills pretty easily (but struggle to get very good at them). They initially bond with Martin through their shared experiences of being bastards. They're kinda greasy.

I have another major Oblivion character but she's real underdeveloped and needs more time in the oven. Too much brain power goes into morrowind and skyrim, sorry oblivion.

.

Saori

I've already talked about her before (this post) but I will mention her again. My necromancin' ecologist child :D. She kinda exists outside the realm of the games but she meets and becomes acquaintances/friends with Elisere and Stellar.

#sorry if this is too much but you did ask so i happily took the oppurtunity #like i said some of these guys have whole families and stuff but those can be for another day #and i could go on for hours about them and more about these guys but like i said another day #mine #my ocs #tes oc #tes ocs #oh god i have to tag them all #oc: stellar #oc: ramshuribani #oc: moss #oc: elisere #oc: helge #oc: morvyn #oc: saori #i should post moss's ref sheet later (if i havent already i dont remember) since i know people like when i post my argonian designs #ask

[killjoy-prince]

This is the most prsk merch I've seen at my kinokuniya

#prince's talk tag #when I saw those CDs i literally went 'oh my god' at loud #bc they told me they didnt sell cds anymore so i was surprised!! #they're all cds i already own so i didnt get them but still its good to know they sometimes have them #and they were 20.99 which isnt bad when you consider i dont have to pay for shipping if I got them here #but i dont come here often enough to consider only getting them here #ive only been going to bookstores lately bc its nice enough to walk around #once it gets cold again i wont be going to the city as much #that said i did get the second anthology. i cant read it but i like just seeing them in situations #ill be posting my manga haul later as usual. im not done for the day #(one of those cds isnt part of the series but shhhhh dont worry about it)

[rexscanonwife]

Looking at Engie and then looking at Rex like...yeah there's definitely a pattern here > . >

#jane journals #self insert talk #💙 oh captain my captain 💙 #🔧handyman husband 🔧 #thats gonna be my singular tag for engie and ill have a separate one for ship art and stuff #cause wuby inspires me to be more organized u//u #vbut YEAH SHFJG SCREAMING #like we got STURDY. HARDWORKING. GENTLEMANLY. #and diving into appearance theyve both got very close cropped hair that almost looks bald and engie has a beard later TOO JUST LIKE REX #WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN #also screaming cause last night i remembered smth #during the divorce arc for me n rex it drives a wedge between him and our oldest child #AND I HAD SMTH VERY SIMILAR FOR ENGIE TOO I JUST GAVE THEM OLDEST CHILDREN THAT HATE THEM AJFJGKGGK #oh god im actually getting really excited to bring this back 😂😂😂

[kandulce]

Arcane was so pretty the art style was to die for but PLEASE I needed more interaction between Sevika and Silco

#spoilers in the tags #silco talking big abt loyalty thinking sevika was abt to betray him and them when she DOESNT #mf looked like he genuinly thought he was gonna die #and then he DOES???? #but later and not with sevika involved at all youre telling me the best scene jn the show is ther last scene?? #QHAT #anyways sevika was my fave before i watched and she remains unmatched #i hope she takes silcos spot and follows his and vander's Fatal Flaw #that and/or she wins idc just i want more netflix u gotta s #oh yeah jinx was cool i hope her and sevika have like a distant awkward parent relationship or smth #from what others said i thought they'd had a LOT more beef than the show really shows #also ngl the fight scene w/ the blue shit vs the pink shit was kinda less than what i was hoping for from a dhow adapted to a video game #but it was pretty!! #GOD was the show pretty #loved it #misc

[pepprs]

this week has been so fucking horrible. genuinely

#purrs #i think the roe v wade stuff like. Idk. everyone in my house is triggered by it everyone in the country is triggered by it and im not saying #TRIGGEREDDDD like how ppl will yank that word out and be cruel with it im saying it is triggering and putting even heavier weight on trauma #informed dynamics and shit that are already hard to bear. btw my mom told her story to a fucking cnn reporter and now im scared we’ll have a #anti aborti/on protestors at our house lmao. but anyway. everyone is triggered in my house right now. and now no one in my house has counsel #counseling. so when other shit happens outside of the house onto which i project dynamics that happen inside the house (everywhere. #constantly.) i am utterly unable to deal with them and the only thing i can focus on is trying to be quiet and not start sobbing #hysterically. which did just happen btw just not to me and i want to sob like that too. the weight of all this despair and the weight of #having nowhere to put the despair. not to mention redacted redacted redacted unrelated dynamic that ngl has made me a little bit sewerslidal #this week on multiple occasions. i always forget how bad summer is im always like yeah i can work with another clinical intern! and i don’t #regret it while it happens but then they leave and summer comes and redacted redacted dynamic happens THAT I THOUGHT WAS NEVER GONNA HAPPEN #AGAIN BUT ITS HAPPENING DESPITE MY FUCKING PROMOTION AND IT MAKES ME WANT TO *** UNIRONICALLY! happens and im like oh god. right. summer is #a nightmare. so what im trying to say is.. there is a lot going on all at once and it is hard to live a) at all b) in this house and i dont #know what to do about that except finish cleaning the dishes and try to find some nice work clothes and maybe collage if i have time. lole #abortion tw #pregnancy tw #suicide tw #delete later #ask to tag #like the e VISCERAL feeling of wanting to not exist. VISCERAL. ive felt that every day since this happened and im scared. lol #and again i love working with clinical interns and i love the place i go to for counseling it’s just the fucking 3 month hiatus (and the 1 w #week hiatus in february during one of the genuine lowest points of my entire life) is um….. very bad. i understand why they have to do it b #but it is not good and every time we’re in the final few weeks of sessions and my counselor asks if i’ll be ok imwlike yeah totally! school #will be out and i can do it! and then they go and things happen in the ways that things happen and im like oh right the agony. forgot about #that and forgot how it is so much worse to survive it without counseling! lole 🥰

[noxtivagus]

i'm so happy i'll cry so bad when i finally open it 😭😭

#tag later #AAAA IM ACTUALLY SO HAPPY #IM LIKE. RLLY CHILL RN BUT IM SO SO HAPPY #i'll play nier first ofc but oh my god zack. crisis core. i'll cry so bad #im so happy im rlly so happy it's so funny i'm so chill rn but #earlier when i saw data blitz w the poster i jumped n ran to it pointing at it n #I WAS SMILING SM WHEN THEY HAD IT IN STOCK N ALL UWAHH #fun day w my friend hehe we rlly just shopped ngl 🥹 #her. 'friend' ehem (read; basically bf) was low on social bat it seems but it was cool meeting them irl BUT I WAS TOO SHY TO TALK.. #they're usually more extroverted tho n then #i'm sorry i accidentally peeked at my friend's messages n her friend mentioned that like. if another friend of ours (who apollo n i are #closer with) then it wld've been more chill or wtvr I CANT REMEMBER #i miss hanging out w my friends :< I MISS THEM SO MUCH FUCK #I'm so tired from walking tho help i'm sitting down rn finally #torn between really excited for ccr n stressed for the future n really happy from today n #torn too between feeling excited or. idk lonely rn thinking abt all my different kinds of relationships #that flew by too fast.. i wna spend more time w my friends :< #despite how fun it was n everything i can't shake off this certain. emptiness that i can't make sense of #BUT RN I'M DOING FINE DW #technically i'm friends too w the friend of my longtime friend bcs we met (save for me w my longtime friend ofc #like way back early this year. turns out another guy from the other school went bowling w their friends in the same mall #n OH YEAH in this same mall iirc the friend apollo n i are closer w from the guys went to a con here yesterday? #i just realized hi small weird thumb reveal it seems #i just realized if you're filo n know your malls n know a con yesterday then it's very obvious where i was today uh #WAH THAT SAID THOUGH omg i'm rambling but i'm. god i've been feeling rather empty lots lately But i know that i'm happy from today #omg oh yh bcs of all the ppl i mentioned earlier me n longtime friend n apollo joked abt like. reunion of that grp earlier this year hehe #the idea is rlly lovely.. ngl i rlly do have a level of social anxiety even w close friends yeah but that doesn't mean i'm antisocial no #i rlly want to socialize n make friends :< so the idea of it is. rlly wonderful indeed but it seems so far out of my reach #i'll fix tags later i have sm to talk abt oh my god but it's comforting knowing my friend. felt the same way i do abt that earlier hehe #I RLLY WANT A BUCKET HAT N COOL SHADES TO GO W IT HFKSJFKSJFS

[inkybinkyboink]

alright so to all the younger homies (and kind of everyone rlly) out there this is your daily reminder to be careful when you’re online. i know this gets thrown around a lot but please, take my word for it, be careful. take every news article or claim you see with a grain of salt. research it if you’re unsure. make your own opinions and dont take anything for granted. when talking to anyone at all, just be aware, ok? also, don’t feel the need to live up to a certain standard because tumblr decides its cool. you are in control of your own life. you have a right to your own life. you don’t need to follow a certain aesthetic to be a valid human being. you are enough as you are. i promise. the world is an enormous place and i understand that having a presence online helps to find your own spot and helps you to grow and decide who you are as a person. but just be careful, and think critically. you are loved, and if you ever need someone to talk to i’m here. 

#im not trying to be preachy or anything #like i still have a LOT to learn in the world as well #but i just dont want anyone to be oblivious of certain aspects of the internet #and to clarify #i dont mean like predators online liike they certainly exist but im including any and all toxic relationships as well #fuck man the last thing i want is for some 13 year old to be in the same situation i was in because fuck that so hard #like ok kids are gonna be online thats inevitable #so lets make sure to keep an eye out for them and educate them on how to use the tools they have on hand properly #and dont be a fucking creep oh my god #delete later probably #not hunchback of notre dame #this has been a psa #how do i tag this #like if the moots could reblog this that would be AWESOME #can i tag this fandom? #im tagging it fandom #fandom

[coridallasmultipass]

.

#hfffffff okay i spent fucking hours rambling in that ao3 comment lmao i wanted to apologize for that but #i dont wanna give the author a reason to reply or guilt them into reading the whole thing lol #i hate having anxiety #bc it means sometimes i cant be like 'haha that was hot' without feeling like im not doin my job as a reader #but then when i start writing a longer comment i gotta give reasons why i liked something #and before u know it im typing my whole lifes story and thats a book no one wants to read. least of all in the comments on their 50k fic #i took out so many paragraphs and revised it no less than 20 times but probably more i wasnt counting #i dont think ive ever put a comment that long but it required backstory to explain something and also how i was surprised at #...being sold in the first chapter when i was already predisposed to not wanna read the fic in the first place #god its fucking 130am ive been typing for hours #sleep has not occurred to me bc ive been in 'middle of a task' mode since like 8pm #anxiety really is a motherfucker lmao ughhhhhhh #fuckin verbose as hell lmao hate that abt myself no one wants to read my essays lol #shouldve spent at least 3 of those hours workin on my fics but alas i have time blindess and only saw 2 time jumps #anyway gonna hope my sleeping pills kick in fast #lol its probably pain. the reason why im so on edge for the past few days and especially today since i couldnt really relax #i hate being so anxious all the time but what can i do lol nothing has helped me long term #oh here we fucking go lmao im writing another essay in the tags yeah i gotta hit the pen or something to chill or the pills aint gonna help #delete later / / #i swear i dont mean to but i blink and ive written an essay it happens without doing it consciously