#ok listen. here's how it started-

[an-au-blog]

Oh, your love is sunlight

Happy (late) Valentine's Day (version without text ↓ +description in tags)

#east blue asylum wing au #zosan #zoro x sanji #zs #first off if its bad quality - it's a huge canvas and it's more pixelated if i try to export the picture than if I screenshot so... :/ #I sometimes like assigning songs to different dynamics and or characters I play around with and I've been recently listening to #a lot of Hozier again and I'd like to think that Sunlight is how Zoro sees Sanji - he is Icarus flying to the sun and he is willing to get #burned if only to reach the sunlight - it's a deathtrap... because of course it is... all attachments are but Sanji's love is the death tra #that he welcomes like a moth to a flame because even Icarus felt the bliss and freedom before his wax melted #I haven't depicted it here but Sanji's Hozier song for Zoro would probably be NFWMB because in his eyes Zoro is this untouchable force #that would watch the world go up in flames and when the time Sanji wouldn't mind being a tree just to fuel his fire (im well aware how #cheesy that sounds just bare with me... or better yet listen to the song its really good trust me ok?) #the world starts and ends with him and where they lay #and their shared Hozier song is Francesca because if anything in this au zosan are two lovers stuck in Dante's inferno and sprinting back i #only for the chance to get back to their lover and if that meant going back into hell to look for each other then so be it #there's a part of the song that goes “My life was a storm / Since I was born / How could I fear any hurricane?” which is pretty fitting imo #op #fan art #my art

[unnonexistence]

hermann thoughts: if i discredit newton and his approach enough, the martial won't give him the equipment for his kaiju drift, and i can protect him from himself. if he despises me for it, so be it. there is little i wouldn't sacrifice to see him safe.

newt thoughts: this is a Best Science competition and i have to Win

#unscientific aside #newmann #pacific rim #thinking about them again today #it's very easy to read hermann's animosity during the movie as him being pissed off at newt for his 'completely crazy' #theories getting attention + being a massive nuisance in general #that's exactly what it looks like if you just listen to WHAT he's saying #however if you pay attention to WHEN he says it & pay attention to his face when no one is looking it's very clear there's more going on im #like the kaiju entrails comment. newt has all these tables with guts set up right next to the line & has clearly been working there for age #theres a big pile of intestinal-looking tubes over on hermann's side of the floor already! not a peep from hermann! #but then when newt tries to join the conversation he happens to throw another little squidgy bit & suddenly hermann jumps on him about it #brings up in front of the marshall how CONSTANT this unprofessional conduct is while also cutting newt off #he physically puts himself between newt & pentecost #interrupts newt every time he tries to talk #starts making snarky little personal comments AT newt to discourage him - 'don't embarrass yourself' 'yes [just get to the point]' #'this is the point where he goes completely crazy' [significant look at newt] #keeps hovering in the background looking between newt & pentecost #like. ok he is SO MAD that newt is getting pentecost's attention here. obviously #the thing that does it for me though is how sad and resigned he looks when newt finally does get to the point #this is not the face of an angry rival #this is the face of a man with ulterior motives for his animosity #i dont think newt has any ulterior motives hes aware of lol he thinks hes in a movie about 2 geniuses vying for scientific superiority #happens to be in love with hermann but hasnt realized because hes so mad at him all the time #he only realizes how much hermann cares when he offers to drift with him

[feline-evil]

Dick or no dick confirmation Pickles was always going to be trans to me anyways; if he's swingin' somethin that's phallo babes, if he's not then his t-dick fat. What's not to get.

#metalocalypse #jay talkin #I'm sorry they wrote that awful gross little man far too likeable and relatable to on a trans level #for me not to hoot and holler and cheer for the trans pickles agenda #changes nothing about his character arc or any of the show anyone is capable of being the kind of person he is #don't make the mistake of thinking thats exclusive to cis men #his transness wouldnt change that #only adds on an extra layer to him that i think works fantastically. #Listen that dude was rejected by his family driven to drink and drugs young to escape that ran away to be in a band #is called fucking Pickles of all things and refuses to tell anyone his real last name; #over the span of four seasons and two movies he slowly starts to learn to be for others what he never had #he becomes more caring more supportive #it's not a stretch to say he undoes some of the toxic masculinity he's been keeping himself shielded behind #and learns how to be a kinder man. #all of which have no contradictions with him being trans! #In fact it doesn't take much extra thought to find ways a lot of this can line up with some trans masculine experiences #i mean. Did no one else have a younger phase where they swung as far as they could into crass rude and uncaring ways #to try and assert their masculinity only to grow and realise that you can be a man and be more caring. #Did no one else have father issues. 1 800 come on now i know those are both shared experiences a lot of us have had LOL. #at the end of the day this show aired nearly 20 years ago and is finished. we're not getting more of it #so nothing is altered nor changed if pickles is canonically trans or not ok. its fine #i mean hell i dont even need canon confirmation hes trans to me and thats all i care abt #but i think if yr getting suuuuuper weird abt needing him not to be canonically trans you have some issues #and bio essentialist ideals of gender if you think only a cis man can act like he does #again. anyone can be like that. its not exclusive. him being trans would not change him in any way shape or form lol #AND ALSO GODDDUUUGH for once i love getting to see a guy pushing 50 whos depicted as trans #do you have any idea how dire and barren it is out here. we never get to see a trans guy older than 30 and whos not a pristine model #I WANT MORE OLD SHLUBBY SHITHEAD TRANS GUYS IN MEDIA

[lycanr0t]

i feel very frustrated about the trend of giving chil body hair bc if it was any other anime twink i would be thrilled its just that it seems to only be because people are SO afraid of him looking young they have to make him hairy to justify liking him in ships.

meanwhile it does directly go against canon (he literally is supposed to look like a child. this is integral to both his character and his race's lore as a whole and it makes no damn sense that he would be mistaken for a child if he has body hair i mean. cmon.)

and it's like. some men are hairless. some men look young. when youre a trans man in your 20s-30s its especially common to be mistaken for a teenager, even more so if you're not on t. and short. these traits do not make you less of a man or an adult. :/

#rot posts #listen its like. i just wish ppl werent doing it for the reasons they seem to be #you NEVER see tiny little men get body hair in fanart i should know ive been in multiple fandoms where i was the only 1 givin bitches hair #but it also sucks when its like. clearly from a place of discomfort and not wanting him to seem young #rather than actually loving body hair #for example where is laios with body hair. wheres kabru. mithrun. literally any other character #(senshi us a slight exception on account of semi canonically having hair) #it just feels like a performance for no one. ok yeah good job you made chil look like a hairy 30 year old #did you pay attention to how that totally disregards his story and how he canonically looks like a child and that IS an important aspect #half foots face infantilism to an extreme and his appearance is a part of this. the discrimination he faces is partially BECAUSE of looks! #so changing him to erase such a HUGE important aspect of his race's lore just bc ppl seem uncomfortable with him being young looking feels #idk the feeling. its frustrating to me #i just wish there was some self reflection here. i guess. some actual acknowledgement of his canon struggles #do you even like chil if you cant accept one of his core canonical traits... #whew anyways this is HUGELY a limited edition post bc im deleting it as soon as my husband reads it ❤️ #i hate drama i hate discourse so like always if you try to start shit i will ignore + block you soo fast dont try me

[alsojnpie]

since i can't have an autoplay playlist on this site I'll just pin whatever song i wish i could force you to listen to while you look at my page

#tell you hwhat #i miss the days when there were a ton of playlist makers and you could put one together and slap it on your MySpace #and that stuff would autoplay any time someone looked at your page #you have to #I remember putting something from the k pax soundtrack first. do not even remember which but #it starts really slow. and quiet. so maybe you don't notice it right away. then all of a sudden (hopefully your volume is up loud) #the upper octave piano notes screech at you one by one #i was really into that soundtrack for some reason. can't listen to it long enough to remember it now #i was so sad when MySpace stopped being a place people used. i liked it a lot. all the stupid games #oh is it possible to autoplay music here after all? that's ok I'll just pin this anyway #i wish i could figure out how to do that but my brain doesn't want to now #Youtube

[redinthesea]

I'm gonna be honest, I have zero explanation or excuses for this one. Self-indulgent crossover just for the sake of it. If you get it you get it. Posts with a target audience of one person (me).

#trigun #touhou #touhou project #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #meryl stryfe #milly thompson #me art #context for non-touhous for the comic: the character Vash is replacing here is a member of a species with horns #but she hides them to pass as human using hair buns. but it'd look silly with his design so he doesn't have that option lol #also ok listen. the no explanation part was a lie. #just combining 2 out of 3 of my favorite fictional characters of all time (Kasen & Vash) because #the similarities between them are insane. they might as well be the same character. like. the list is endless #something something if I had a penny I'd have two pennies #this started as a silly joke but I literally have thoughts about this au now. can I talk about the flower symbolism I need to ta- #funny how my feelings on komakasen and vashwood are similar too btw. don't ship it but not Not ship it lmao

[rocketbirdie]

i would love to enjoy everything that stardew valley has to offer but unfortunately i approach this game the same way i approach real life: avoid all social interaction and tend to my garden in belligerent silence

#people posting screenshots of their stardew valley spouses and i'm just sitting here like. #y'all have time for relationships in this game?? wtf #i feel every second of every day ticking by. and i must dedicate each and every moment to my beloved potato field. #but seriously it's lowkey distressing. like. goddammit what do you MEAN the autism still happens in-game. #HOW am i supposed to know what gifts to give? WHY do my friendships decay so fucking fast just because we haven't talked in like. two days?? #WHERE are players finding time in their days to interact with the npcs????????? #i can't relate to any of the npcs anyway! nobody shares my unhealthy obsession with agricultural economics!! i literally don't get it. #listen i know there's a wiki but #the problem is that the wiki only applies to stardew valley and not to real life. and i need a cheat sheet for real life. #don't even get me started on the multitasking hell that this game represents. goddang feels like a 50 hour work week playing this game #[I LOVE IT] #ok rant over back to your regularly scheduled pathetic rpg twunks

[todayisafridaynight]

yk in retrospect it really is no surprise that rgg has a lot of queer fans. outside of the games being utterly homosexual of course

#snap chats #sorry i finally finished reading the second volume of yakuza's bias #GREAT manga i cant recommend it enough im already crying waiting for the third one to be translated #i got a stroke when the manga mentioned.. those like. ai-chat character things #like christ i know this is a new series and the japanese version was released in january but my GOD this is still topical #anyway let me. get to my point LMAO #because while i was reading there was a speech given by My Main Man that ive noticed is. p common in yakuza media #yk a speech about how the only people who'll give them (yakuza) worth is themselves #and that they'll forever be casted out by society so their passion is the only thing to turn to and live for. something like that #and of COURSE i remember a similar sentiment from The Clan Heir Is A Trans Woman #and listen..... organized crime is very different from being queer. im pretty sure dont quote me on that-- #HOWEVER when you have messages like that being thrown left and right... yeah its no wonder LMAO #of course its not note-for-note and the contexts are VERY different LMAO but yk what i mean #its like that one post talking abut monsters and monsterfucking being queer or something #dont listen to me i only go here on legality but i think im onto something #ok bye im gonna stare at my ceiling until i pass out. i wanna start working on my dummy comic but alas... #too busy with comms this week... AND im sleepy...

[softshuji]

Any men out there wanna pretend to be my bf to get my parents off my case about marriage? I am so so serious right now.

#my mom gave me a really really lonf lecture and upset me because her and my dad want me to start thinking about settling down ans getting #married. again. cos this comes up all the time. ans I reiterated that i do wanna marry and have kids. i know im 26 years old why do they' #think im also not aware of this??? like i suddenly forgot my own age and have my head in the clouds all the time. and i got so heated cos i #said they only believe in that in theory. in reality neither of them have accepted the idea od my leaving home or the idea of mw being with #a man. and they start freaking out if they even find out i talk to them so to say they want me to get married is so fucking naive #ans when i mentioned this and that they're more than ok w mt brothers talking tp women she said that if i wanted to settle down she could #talk to dad and they could “go about finding someone for me” and I've never been so pissed #i got so upset. why does everyone keep saying this to me. as if anyone my dad knows could ever be a half decent man #and the truth is they don't care if im in a happy marriage they've accepted that i won't be they only care that im gone and saving face in #front of family. that's all. it's always reputation it's always “what will people say?” #not once did love come up. not once did shw even imply that i should marryfor love #or that they hope i love someone and marry them. because they're more happy with the idea of me marrying for the sake of it than #they are at the idea of me finding genuine lovw #im not a fucking broodmare im not here to push out babies for the sake od reputation. #and then i said nor being married isn't the end of the world and she said “it's important that you settle down” #and i said im unwavering in my principles. she can call mw high maintenance like she loves doing but I'm not wavering on the #kind of man i want to be with and when i do marry him i want it to bw genuine. because be loves me and vice versa not because im ticking off #somethin from a damn checklist to appease them. and if being unwavering on my principles means staying unmarried then so be it. #my obligations are to god and myself and that's it #and y'know what??? i am in love with a boy already #and yet they don't care that i wanna be in love at all. no im just a puppet to follow a certain narrative in life live according to evergone #else has and that's it. #im done. #and then she tried to apologise by getting me a slice of cake and that somehow made me feel worse. #i dont want an apology. i want to be heard and actually listened to for once. i want someone to ask what i want. to actually give a shit #and love me cos it's me. not cos im some thing to further an agenda. or some toy or puppet that does your bidding. #is it so much??? to just want to be loved in return? to marry and live according to how i want to?? ans not want anyone to make these #decision's for me? #ruined my whole day.

[luminisvii]

with how the splat 3 fanbase is acting about splatfests, you'd think there's something real and tangible on the line and not like, superficial bragging rights and a few extra snails. idk why people are sitting here and getting angry at shiver as if she's a real person who has any actual will to do anything and not just pixels on a screen, especially when there are legitimate issues with how splatfests are designed and run in splat3, and that's the devs and nintendo's fault, not shiver. she's not real and she can't do anything to you. and i've seen way more complaining about the concept of "toxic shiver stans who always pick shiver and ruin it for everyone" than i have any actual evidence that these kind of people exist on a mass scale. it really feels like that kind of person is a guy that the fanbase made up to be mad at every time they lose. i agree that there are huge problems with splat 3 but the moment someone lays the blame on shiver they throw all credibility out the window. it's not shiver, there's no evil cult of shiver stans manipulating the splatfests, and don't get me started on how people are talking about the asian playerbase with these splatfests.

#luminiscore #splatfest #splatoon 3 #listen guys. ive been playing since splat 1. and let me tell you. even then it wasn't as bad as this #*old man voice* back in my day callie won almost every splatfest and we liked that JUST FINE. ok we didn't #but judging from numbers of past splatfests majority of the player base DOES pick based on what they like best and not the idol #so idk why im seeing people call for idols to be dettached from splatfest thats not gonna change the issues with balance #like i hate to break it to you all but majority of the splatoon player base are casuals who are not deep in the fandom if at all #and they do not care about what your ideas of fairness are. they just wanna play #and its stuff like. i think a lot of you seriously underestimate how popular stuff like vanilla ice cream is. it's not shiver #im just amazed and baffled by all the hatred and vitriol directed at shiver bc ive never seen this before with splatfest discourse #the WAHHH (insert winning team here) IS FULL OF EVIL SPAWN CAMPERS excuse is as old as time and should not be listened to. sorry #and in no world in a pvp game will the enemy roll over and let you win and play “fair” bc you want them to. thats not how it works #and i despise how whinging and screaming from a small and super toxic section of the fandom is poisoning discourse for casuals #touching grass isn't enough some of you guys need to start a garden

[synonymroll648]

the ultimate off-page kotlc love triangle was between brant and jolie and vertina. discuss. 

#i'll start off first #brant and vertina did not have feelings for each other. idk if they tolerated each other or hated each other from the start #but they definitely hated each other at the end #people have been saying bi jolie rights for ages so it's like. ok. what female character was she canonically close with #and that goes to vertina the spectral mirror. which is. interesting. since vertina is only coded. not actually sentient #so it's either: jolie fell for someone that doesn't have romantic attraction coded into them (same here vertina) #or: elvin tech is so advanced that she can develop romantic attraction and that's an extra layer as to why she was so upset about jolie's #passing #OR: they both fell for each other but either wouldn't admit it or couldn't make it work #and brant x jolie is obvious. we don't need to explain there #listen ik jolie x vertina #has crackship vibes but there's POTENTIAL. think about how much we hear that jolie and vertina were close. think about how sophie needs #a bicon to look up to. someone to look at for reference as to where to put her footsteps because we all know sophie foster is bi as fuck #WE HAD THE BEE MOVIE WE CAN HAVE THIS #LET ME HAVE MY ELF X TECHY MIRROR SHIP. I WILL EVENTUALLY WRITE A FIC IF I HAVE TO. IT'S BEEN ON MY MIND FOR WAY TOO LONG OK #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #jolie ruewen #kotlc brant #kotlc vertina #IT'S ABOUT THE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS AND THE ANGST OK

[puppyeared]

uhh. uhhhhh

#realistically i knw that if i went thru with making animatics for all of these songs I think my hand would fall off BUT. i have brainrot #half of these songs are either here bc of the vibe or because i listened to the lyrics and read analyses and put 2 much effort than i had t #ALSO LISTEN. LISTEN BODYBAG IS EXACTLY EVERYTHING I IMAGINE WHENEVER I THINK OF WUKONG AND MACAQUES RELATIONSHIP OK #two birds and baby hotline is also kind of self explanatory. although most of the jack stauber songs are mostly for vibe #bitter water is a very specific flavor of pining / unhealthy outlook. kind of has like an insatiable vibe to it but idk how to name it #i want soap to be a healing song but maybe im just being optimistic. im here for the vibes although i feel like if swk and macaque were #actually to make up i think they would go into it kicking and screaming. and im frustrated because i cant find a song to match that #except maybe bodybag which AGAIN. THEY ARE SO FUCKING STUPID THATS HOW THEYRE GONNA HEALL FLYING BARK PLS #what if it doesnt end well also feels like a doomed narrative to me. like if you think about it from how their relationship might have st #started (and im probably taking from how everyone romanticizes their relationship as something really innocent or sweet at the start which #i am also not immune to that). but knowing them it is also a very good possibility thats not the case at all. what it is i dont know #primadonna also strikes me as a swk song but like msotly because he serves cunt. on that note I like to imagine rose colored boy as swk to #MK.BECAUSEEE i love how MK brings out the best in people AND AND AND!! 5000 year old immortal who has seen some shit come on people 'and i #have taken my glasses off' COME ON LOOK ATIT. you could also argue that could be macaque to MK and it would make sense #Spotify #Lego Monkie kid #lmk #yapping #playlist #monkie kid

[the-furies]

on one hand. loottta ideas 4 sk!llshipping art rn bc system things. on the other hand we r procrastinating on drawing them bc will people be Normal,

#normal as in dont be like 'hey those two together dont make sense' we don't control who gets with who here okay #i wanna sketch a specific couple rn but im worried people r Soooooo going to be like That makes no sense abt them #and I'm like. Listen. if you just hear me Aout abt some headcanons #[read: things tht r just Tru abt them in lur system] it'd make so much ssense #but alas. Anyways #pk;m Electrochemistry🔴 #also to draw them i need to teach myself how to draw mobility aids better. hmmmmmb. this is doable #actually now that i think abt it all tho outside of maybe like One pairing sk!llshipping is just. possibly a mess sorta #in that there's 24 [26? sorta?] of us so it's like mix and match hauve fun w it. what im tryig to say is that #it's not That serious and afaik again outside of One Pairing [iykyk] it's like WHO'S shipping pt with phys instrument?? #who tf is shipping drama and encyclo? etc etc. #and the answer is ME MOTHERFUCKER! BC OF SYSTEM SHIT AUSUSIDJDIDIDIKZ #speaking of wr do have a sketch of shivers & concept in the works. but it was started by HL but it hasn't front3d in a whileeee #perhaps i shall finish the drawing for it bc it's a cute drawing. ok im done rambling #does any of this make sense?? like my point is theres so many of us and we're kinda rlly minor characters in the grand scheme of things #so like. gestures vaguely!! im running out of words. #anyways i judt need people 2 not be weird abt our next drawings ok? ok thank you

[feline-evil]

I can't think of anything that could kill a generative ai system faster than letting it pull from blogs on here, its going to be fed so many erroneous callouts and pointless discourse posts that its gonna generate a way to speedrun offing itself

#jay talkin #im making jokes but fucking hell the internet sucks nowadays #i love witnessing the rot in real time (<--said extremely mentally healthily haha u can trust) #im listening to monkey wrench on repeat. feeling normal #i mean hey yr shits already been jacked by ai if it was gonna be. sorry. it woulda happened like last year at its peak #sites being more open abt it now and adding opt out toggles dont mean its just suddenly gonna start happening #believe me they were all already trawled by little ai fucknuts already. sucks but its the truth #ai bros notably do not care abt legality they have already trawled every site. all u can do is fight back best u can #damage has been done. dont fall into despair via scaremongering and doom posting #do what u can to protect yrself and yr shit snd spread info on how to do that #glaze yr art if yr an artist. opt out of shit when u can. its fucking rough out here #ai is p solely focused on ripping off whatever is most marketable or 'realistic' bc it is a capitalist leach #and nobody involved in it has a soul enough to recognise art if it spat in their face #it fucking sucks that we're still dealing w it but i promise u this capitalist mass-market tendency #is gonna end up w it poisoning itself w its own shite imagery to the point of death so #it WILL fuck off eventually. hold on w the hope of that ok. n protect yr shit. alright #oh and dont share any info u wldnt want stolen but u shldnt be doing that anyway for internet safety reasons #love u all my artists in arms i hope ai dies sooner rather than later and i hope u get to piss on its corpse #love the lawsuit speedruns this place is pulling lately. yall hadnt had yr fill last week huh

[lavender---sunshine]

in all seriousness i 90% sure im going to quit my job tomorrow and for a while i will have just enough money to live on and will have to spruce up my resume and job hunt and stress but MY GOD i need to do something else because this is making me suicidal

#like actively suicidal. wanting to die in a way i have not since highschool. literally woke up and thought 'i dont want to be here anymore' #and then couldnt make myself get out of bed until like 10 minutes before i had to leave the house for job 2 #i know its unprofessional but i pretty much...quiet quit i guess. i worked from home for like a month straight without telling my boss #and she called yesterday wondering about it and the whole time the only thing i could think of was 'you didnt even know for a MONTH #thats how little people communicate around here #the office culture is toxic. the people are self absorbed and shut me out. ive gone through like 6 big life events and no one knows because #no one in that office cares enough to ask. and even if i volunteer the most i get is a 'wow that wild look at this tiktok yeah anyway' #im so burnt out. i have 1 day of rest and i dont get to do that at all. so no like im not going to get up get dressed sit in traffic park #on the street because a year later they still havent given me a clicker for the parking lot and sit in the back of a warehouse for hours #talking to no one. ive literally gone days without talking to anyone there. its so lonely. #theres only so many audiobooks and podcasts and albums you can listen to before you think 'i would be ok getting hit by a truck tomorrow' #im going to hate these next few months but i just need time #and the lord works in mysterious ways because my other boss just started talking about hiring for mon/tues which are the days i work bad jo #so i would at least get those hours until i find something else stable. im going to try very hard not to be mean about it but im like... #hey girl this place sucks ass and you know it. im not negotiating #but thanks for that raise 9 months late #im giving you three weeks for find a replacement and i dont care if you fire me in that time #il work from home or panera or starbucks or library but im not stepping in that office again unless its for my minifridge and heater

[bahrmp3]

.

#personal #now that the new year's has passed I feel like I can talk about it I did not have a good time lmao it started fine I guess? I was going to #play music for the new year but then mum made a comment about me still on laptop so I shut it bc ok fine let's not #then it was down hill from there? like I ignored it and was like let's not make a thing out of it so we are saying what we liked this year #/ what we want to do and mum goes and for my son I want x y z and didn't mention me so joe asks her and for if she has anything to say for #me? any wishes? but she doesn't lmao later on she goes (if only you would say what you want we do not know anything about you) #she didn't even mean it she said just to hurt like I was taking a video of this and lit off frame my face is dropping #later on she goes (and you didn't even say what you wish for us either) as she leaves and later when I'm talking to my brother #and I protest this he goes (welp what can I even say? like I told you before are pretty selfish) and idk what to say I was surprised I #don't think I'm selfish tho? I legit was the one to cook for us and got cake? I try so much but keep being labeled selfish this is the #second time he tells me that in the last two weeks I think and both are unfounded ngl anyway all of this pales in the last thing #so we call dad to say happy new year! Well joe does and I mean ok I was still pretty upset about what happened an hour ago so ofc I wasn't #cheerful when calling dad lmao but like I was saying all the right things anyway? but Joe kept gesturing at me to smile its a phone call #and after the phone call he has like (why are you always so depressed? if I were you and I finally got a laptop I would be flying from joy #why are you always so down? why can't you just be happy?) and I honestly don't know what to say lmao ok so I wasn't flying from joy with #my laptop but idk how to say it here but then like what's worst? being hurt and not a person recognising that you are hurt? and in fact #asking you why aren't you smiling? or idk being too depressed for others?? what's funnier is mum later on was like (don't let anyone words #change you you shouldn't yield to others) in reference to Joe's speech but like hello mama?? not 2 hrs ago??? #anyway so I asked her if I shouldn't be listening to her words then? and she was saying yes with confidence like does she not #see either how she hurts me? how she keeps hurting me voer and over and over??? #God I should have made that pizza and truly be selfish maybe I wouldnt have been hurt like that #tbd