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#dont listen to me i only go here on legality but i think im onto something

spinster-sisters · 3 years

Text

Thank you. KHJ.

TW: Dom!Jong, Sub!Reader, this isnt exacly a Mafia au its more like it just hints at unlawful buisness practices, i honestly dont know what to put here to describe this, Dollification? perhaps? I dont know if im usuing that correctly, a lot of posessiveness, unprotected sex, general dirty talk stuff the usual, despite the tags its actually kinda sweet (perhaps i just have a fucked up perception of sweet.)

WC: 2.8k

---

"Well, Hongjoong it seems you have beaten me again,"

The older man spoke from across the velvet table, placing his cards on the surface. You couldn't help feeling smug on behalf of your lover. You stood up from the corner you were sitting in and made your way over to the table falling into Hongjoongs lap now that the game was over.

"Sorry, I guess I'm just lucky," Hingjoong spoke in a mild tone but his wide wicked smile was enough to show everyone what they already knew. Hongjoong doesn't need luck, he's just that good.

You had been seeing him for quite a while. You started out as a waitress in this very Casino that Hongjoong owned. Nobody really knows exactly what he and his friends do for a living or the legality of it but the Casino was more of Hongjoongs personal side project than an actual job. While it made a lot of money he only ever took up ownership of it because he won it in a game against the original owner.

You had been taken with the man from the moment you laid eyes on him. He radiated confidence and power in every step he took and he had the looks to match. He was absolutely stunning. How your relationship got started wasn't exactly clear but after being his personal waitress for months you ended up in his office with your clothes hanging off the back of the couch.

"How about another game?" The older man asks with a grin. Hongjoong only chuckles. The older man had been eyeing your creepily all night and you looked to Hongjoong, hoping he would understand your discomfort. Your boyfriend meets your eyes for only a moment before looking back at the man.

"No offense sir but you're all out of chips," your boyfriend replies. As he spoke one hand came to rest on your thigh kneading it slightly in his grasp.

"I wasn't thinking about chips. How about something a little more valuable?" He sleazy man asks leaning forward onto the green velvet. Hongjoong was visibly intrigued, the higher the stakes the more fun it is. He raised an eyebrow in a way that says 'im listening.'

"My hotel chain against her," the man replied pointing a crooked finger at you.

You expected a hard no or a "get the hell out of my casino." But one never came. Your head snapped up to your boyfriend's face and to your disbelief, he was smiling. He was still gripping your leg as tightly as before but his hand was inching up the bare expanse of your leg. Hongjoong only waited a moment before responding.

"Let's play,"

You felt your gut drop through the floor as the game began you felt your hands start to shake in your lap, you knew better than to talk during a game but you wanted to scream at Hongjoong for putting you through this. It's not like you weren't confident in his abilities, of course, you were. But that isn't the only factor in card games like these, at a certain point it is simply luck of the draw, and while Hongjoong certain was lucky today could always be the day that luck would fail.

The game was nearing its conclusion and you could feel your palms sweating endlessly. The dealer spoke for the final time,

You watched in fear as the dealer began distributing cards to the two men. You were squirming helplessly in your spot on Hongjoongs lap, enough so that he had to pull you against his chest to keep you still. After looking at his cards your boyfriend placed a reassuring kiss on your temple but your nerves weren't settled, just what the man sitting across the table had in mind for you, you didn't know and you didn't want to. You didn't understand the game well enough to draw any conclusions so instead, you just watched as the game unfolded.

In true expert fashion, Hongjoong held the perfect poker face, not revealing anything in expression or body language. But the old man was all too telling, though his face did not betray him, his body was telling the story of utter confidence. Fuck.

“Reveal your cards,” he told the man. He sat up straighter with a smug smile before revealing his impressive hand on the table. Indeed, you didn't know much about the game, but you knew that your odds were slim right now.

“Come on Hongjoong, show us your cards. Not everyone can win all the time.” The greasy man poked at Hongjoong. You didn't dare look at Hongjoongs face, you didn't know what you would do if he looked upset. Slowly Hongjoong pulled the hand resting on you from your body and used it to reveal his cards. It took a moment for the room to react.

“Wipe that stupid smile off your face Hongjoong! You cheated and I know it!” The older man slammed his fist on the table making you jump, Hongjoong remained composed. Relife at the realization that your love won flooded through you as the younger man waved over an assistant, who sprung into action bringing over a stack of papers.

“Calm down sir. we both know I didn't cheat, I don't need to cheat to win. Now I believe we agreed that the ownership of your hotels now belongs to me?” the papers were placed in front of the man she stared in abject horror at them.

“There is no way I am signing these!” he cried out.

“I think you will find that you are. Trust me, sir, I am not the kind of man you want to get on the wrong side of.” Your boyfriend spoke, reclining back into his chair and pulling you with him. The man gauped wildly at Hongjoong before begrudgingly signing the papers and sliding them across to him. He lifted you from his lap before standing himself. Motioning for his assistant to take the papers Hoongjong turned to the man one final time.

“What's so funny!” you snapped, glaring in his direction. He was lounging against the kitchen counter.

“Make an offer like that again and I ruin you even more than I already have.”

-------

You stomped into the kitchen later that night. You could hear Hongjoongs calm footsteps behind you, but you ignore him and swing the fridge open at took a swig from a bottle of water. You were practically slamming the door closed when you heard your boyfriend's amused chuckle.

“You are doll face,” He said through a giggle, “Getting so worked up over nothing.” Your glare hardened.

“Oh, so you think risking your girlfriend in a bet against a disgusting old man is nothing?” you threw back, taking another swig from your water.

“It's not a risk if I knew I was going to win.” He replied calmly, resting his head on his hand.

“So you were cheating?” you replied with disdain.

“Nope,” he replied, popping the “p” in emphasis, “As I said, I don’t need to cheat to win.” Your anger was only rising with each of his careless words.

‘Why would you even say that?” he asked almost childishly. You were stunned. He took your hand that was braced against the counter and led it to his lips. They placed fluttering kisses from the tips of your fingers to your wrist. His other hand began to gently cradle your hip.

“God Damn it Hongjoong! Do I really mean that little to you? Am I really just another bargaining chip? All you care about is yourself and I am over it!” You were screaming now. It wasn't your intention but you were so fucking mad. You dared to meet your boyfriend's eyes, expecting the same nonchalant look he always carried, but instead his bemused smile had dropped into a deep frown.

In a start he pushed off the counter and rounded on you, you stubbled backward onto the marble and his arms came around to cage you against the cool surface.

"You are the most perfect thing in my life, baby doll. Can't you see that?" He continued barely above a whisper.

All too quickly his hands went from slow and steady movement to feverish, like he couldn't touch enough of you. His lips were crawling up your arm and shoulder to your neck. He wasn't kissing to make marks, instead, it was quick pecks to every inch of your skin and you instinctively allowed him more room. All your anger was forgotten as his hands roamed you freely.

From where they began on your hip they had moved from your lower back to your butt, around to your tummy, and up to your chest each time taking care to caress every inch of you. You had become putty in his grasp, practically melting into the cool countertop, your eyes already glazed over and releasing soft noises.

"There she is, my little doll," Hongjoong mumbled with a quiet chuckle after observing your flushed face. His free hand reached up to cup your jaw, pulling your lolling head back to meet his eyes.

"You are still unhappy with me dolly?" He asked with a deceivingly innocent look in his gaze.

"No," you mumbled, wanting to feel the gentle pressure of his lips on you again. Hongjoong giggled freely at your wanton face.

"No," he mumbled, "my little doll doesn't know how to be upset with me does she?"

You shook your head no. How could you be mad when you could still feel the buzzing from everywhere his hands had touched. You had always bent so easily to his will and this time was no different, but you trusted him completely so it was easy to let go.

Two hands gripped your thighs suddenly. You let out a small yelp only to silence yourself, good dolls don't speak unless spoken to. His fingers dug into the flesh for a moment before cupping your thighs and nudging you up onto the counter. You followed through and pushed yourself up, spreading your legs enough so that Hongjoong could slip between them.

He was still kneading your upper thighs when he connected your lips. Hongjoong has such perfect lips and he knew how to kiss you exactly how you wanted. He was guiding you gently through the motions of the kiss, taking his time from pecking you gently to a slow precise kiss to pushing past your lips and exploring your mouth freely, all the while inching further up your legs till his hands were beneath the hem of your dress playing with the waistline of your underwear. In one quick pinch on the soft skin, he signaled for you to lift your hips enough to pull them off.

"Your already so wet baby doll," he hummed into your lips while his finger brushed your folds. "Always so ready for me. Always so good."

Your bottom was now connected to the cold counter but your body was heating faster than you could feel it. Two of his fingers gently prodded into you, slipping into your hole with ease. His firm grip on your leg kept you grounded as your hands reached out to his biceps holding on for dear life. Hongjoong had always enjoyed playing with your cunt as much as you enjoyed feeling it, he loved how silky your walls were and how they wrapped around his fingers so perfectly. He slowly pushed in and out of you at his own leisure, occasionally scissoring you open in preparation.

"You feel so nice down here dolly, so warm and wet. Almost like you were made for me" his breath fanned over your face as he spoke as he was still so close to you. His eyes were drinking in every tiny shift in your expression, your eyes were shut tight but you nodded frantically.

"Awe, you're so sweet. Wanna tell me something? Go ahead," Hongjoong cooed.

"All yours," feel past your lips in a quiet moan.

"I know doll, my most prized possession." You opened your eyes to beam at him and he gave an affectionate smile in return. His hand suddenly pulled out if you're almost bringing a whine past your lips but you held it in. You could not stop the pained expression as he was watching your face so closely.

"Don't worry doll your gonna be filled up soon." He chuckled as he spoke, pulling away from you enough to unzip his frighteningly expensive suit pants and pull his length from his boxers. Despite the sight being familiar, you blushed madly, remembering all of the times he fucked you before brought you anticipation to a new height and you could feel more wetness seep out of you onto the counter.

Hongjoong bunched your dress up around your hips and quickly pulled you to the edge of the counter and into his strong arms. Your hands came to rest in fists on his chest. One of his hands came down to grip his dick, pumping himself a few times spreading precut down his length.

"Ready to take it like a good doll?" He asked smirking at your expectant face.

"I am," you mumbled with a small nod. To focused on the desire for him to fill you up to say more. It took little else for him to thrust into you completely. There was a stretch, as there always was, but the gentle pain was only a reminder of your purpose. To take all he was willing to give you.

Hongjoong never restrained himself with you as there was no need. It only took a moment for him to build up a rapid pace and you wouldn't have it any other way. He was gripping your hips tightly keeping your body flush against his thrusts. You were twitching around him already from the stimulation he had already given you and your gasping breathes match his own soft grunts of exertion perfectly.

"Does my baby doll like it when I use her like this?" He spoke through his deep breaths. You squealed in both embarrassment and affirmation.

"This is what you love, to be used however I want, whenever I want. You really are the perfect doll." He huffed, angling his hips in just the right way to have you panting open-mouthed. Your eyes and lips were glossy with tears and saliva but you didn't care, and to Hongjoong you never have looked more beautiful than you did right at that moment. With a groan he reattached himself to your neck, pecking up and down your jugular showering you in praise.

He was pounding into you relentlessly. Hongjoong always took such good care of you, but in times like this, he allowed himself to be selfish, to use your little cunt as much as he pleased, each time forcing himself deeper and deeper into you. At times like these, he recklessly chased his own high as much as it brought you closer to your own but right now he honestly couldn't care less if you came, you would take it anyway and thank him afterward like a good girl. You could feel each thrust with deadly precision as he railed into you. It was hard to keep quiet with this kind of treatment, because as selfish as it was it still felt so good and every stroke reminded you that you were his.

Your head was positively spinning and you could feel your stomach tighten. Clearly, Hongjoong felt it as well.

"You gonna come dolly? It's ok, I'm getting there as well. Gonna fill you up so well, and you're going to take it so well aren't you." His pace was uneven as he spoke through his grunts. Your walls were clinging to him so perfectly as if you were destined for this.

"Yes, I will! I'll be good, I promise," your hands were clinging a little too tight to his shirt for you much money it cost but just as your sentence concluded you felt yourself snap. You bit your lip to keep your noises contained as waves of pleasure crashed through you and it was only a few more moments for your pulsing walls to pull Hongjoong's orgasm from him. He continued thrusting madly as each movement ripped more pleasure through your body and his cum was shooting into you in ropes keeping you full. It wasn't until Hongjoong felt the pain of overestimation himself that he pulled out.

With barely a moment to catch his breath and adjust himself, he had already sprung into action. You collapsed onto the counter without his support and you could feel his cum dripping out of you as you lay without the strength to move. A few moments of panting later Hongjoong returned to his place between your legs with a damp cloth to clean you up.

He chuckled breathily between your legs and looked up.

As he worked you twitched and mewled with every gentle movement between your oversensitive legs. At one particular stroke of the towel directly over your clit you cried out.

"Joooong!"

"Sorry baby, I know it hurts but what kind of man would I be if I didn't take care of my things," he asked flashing a million-dollar smile. As he finished his work he looked up to meet your eyes.

"Now, what do we say?" he asked.

"Thank you,"

#ateez smut #ateez au #ateez scenarios #ateez reactions #hongjoong smut #hongjoong scenarios

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argumentl · 3 years

Text

The Freedom of Expression Ep 1 - Haruna Fuuka files lawsuit against internet slanderers

*with Kaoru (K), Joe (J), Tasai (T) , who is a journalist writing for the newspaper Tokyo Sports, and Kami/god.*

Kaoru: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru. Have you heard of 'The Freedom of Expression' somewhere before?

Joe, Tasai : *noding*

K: I've a feeling we've done this before...

J: Thats right, yes...Its not a feeling, we actually did.

K: We are reviving the show we did on the radio station InterFM from 2015-16, on youtube this time.

J: Awesome

*applause*

J: I was really happy when I was first told about the revival.

K: I was also surprised *laughs*

J: Its not that you were made to revive the show though, right Kaoru?

K: The suggestion just came at me.

J: Oh really, like 'How about it?'

K: Like, 'Wanna tryy?' 1*

J: Ah, in a Kansai accent?

K:Yes yes

J: Like, 'Lets tryyy'..kind of thing...it started like that *laughs*

K: Yep

J: We did quite a lot (on InterFM). We even did a special edition

K, T : Yes, we did

J: We even made stickers

K: Brazil!

J:Yes

T: Ah, the live broadcast..at the Olympics

J: It was Dobashi san...Bishbash Dobashi san.

T: It would be good if we could do another live broadcast at this year's Tokyo Olympics.

J: On this You tube channel?

T: Yes *laughs*

J: A live broadcast might be a bit difficult legally, as for the Olymipcs *T laughs*

K: Um, thats *shhh*

J: Oh, its a secret!' *K laughing* Maybe if were are asked by Tokyo Sports..?

K: Yes yes...So, as to the freedom of expression...

Kami/god: Wait, wait, wait..I've come down too.

J: Oh, Kami?

K: He's saying it from himself *laughs*..I thought he would come if we beckoned him though.

J: Thats what usually happened. He was the kind of god that would come down after we called him, but now a god that comes down on his own accord.

K: Wasn't he like that before too? Should we keep him in reseve a bit more?

J: He'll want to appear, we can't help it?

Kami: You were forgetting about me!

K: We are not forgetting you!

Kami: You musn't forget your god!

*laughing*

T: We are not forgetting you!

Kami: Its not good!

J: You are always in our hearts.

T: Yes, he is.

Kami: Yes, thats it..you have to think like that.

J: But, you are not in the studio today, kami?

Kami: Oh..um, im just getting off a night shift..

J: A night shift?!

K: Ah, but it was like that before..

Kami: Right.

J: You are doing night shift work again? *Tasai laughs*

Kami: yes, thats right.

K: That was a while ago wasn't it, how many years ago?

J: Oh, is this the night shift season?

Kami: No, its..

T: You worked for ￥1000 per hour right?

Kami: Yes, yes...my hourly rate has risen a bit though. They were telling me 'Take a rest, take a rest', so my income dropped.

J: Ahh, its what they called a 'reformed working style', right?

Kami: Right

J: Its tough for you too, Kami.

Kami: *laughs* Yes it is.

K: He's the same as ever... so lets get started.

J, T: Please

K: Ah, by the way, Tasai san, as well as Bishbashi Dohashi san, wasn't there another person before (at InterFM)?

T: Yes..a beastly guy *K laughs* An old aquaintance of the listeners', a guy called Monster Hiranabe.

J: Its a strange story, but once when a certain celebrity died, Hiranabe-san called me up, and asked me if I had known the deceased guy...as soon as I said that I hadn't known him very well, he hung up on me straight away!

T: Thats awful!

J: He is awful

T: This very guy, Hiranabe, even got a promotion from the manager.

J: Eh? Promoted to what?!

T: To Director

J:Eh?! Really?

K: Is that okay??

J: No, it'll be terrible!

K: Right, lets move onto the main news...I'd like to get deeper into the concept of 'The Freedom of Expression'.

J: Right, so Haruna Fuuka has filed a lawsuit againts those who engage in 'internet slander'.

A tweet stated 'Both her parents created a failure'.

On Jan 14th, 18 year old Haruna and her mother filed a lawsuit at Yokohama district court demanding ￥2,654,000 in damages from a person engaged in spreading falsehoods which have damaged her dignity.

On the acknowledgement that these tweets went beyond what was deemed acceptable by society at large, on Nov 1st the internet provider was ordered to make public the persons name and address etc.

Haruna has been tweeting since the age of 9, giving her opinion at random about society's problems, and creating a stir. She now has over 200,000 followers and is fighting 10 years of slander. Kaoru, what do you think about this?

K: Well..I mean, naturally, you'd feel like that..

J: Hmm, but I don't know the details but..the name of the defendant has been withheld...well, its a common problem that as a person speaking in the public eye, you are going to get criticism along with praise...like a 'fame tax'. That said, how far do you go before honour is damaged? On SNS, you are of course free to express yourself, you can write what you want, but the issue is what constitutes damage to honour. This might be a very difficult area in which to draw a legal line, but on the other hand, if you don't draw a legal line, things may escalate out of control...Kaoru, what do you think?

K: Well for example, if banter between friends is written down...controlling that...Its best not to look at whats written in the first place.

J: Ah, the person in question right? By the way Kaoru, its a strange question, but do you search for yourself online?

K: No, not really. I hear things, the office staff will tell me.

J: Oh, if anything is being said?

T: In the world of fame its quite true, that even if 98 or 99 opinions out of 100 are good, the one negative thing will stand out.

K: Well, yes, its the bad things that..

J: On the other hand, from the writers' perspective at Tokyo Sports, how far are you willing to slander someone? You could write an article in a good or bad way..

T: Of course balance is important, but of course, if the courts want to complain to us, they can call us, and start an exchange, but in the case of slanders on the internet, its like, who do you complain to? So, if you ask celebrities, they will say Tokyo Sports slander is better than anonymous online slander because at least they can complain to our face.

J: Mm, absolutely. Just how far do we protect these tweets, these freedoms of expression? Its difficult.

K: Are these really 'expressions'?

J: Well, esentially, yes. When you say 'tweets' you think of nonsense, but really its media expressing things, or artists expressing things..

K: Yes, yes, you can get a sense of individual expression.

J: And this especially has the power to influence...

K: Yes, and people get swept up in it.

J: I think this is universal, but at the moment I think Japan is bit like a geyser, people will rush towards any incident and some will start complaining, I mean, I think its important to say what you feel, but its complaining without trying to solve anything, only satisfying yourself.

K: Thats it

J: Its sounds strange to say, but it ends like masturbation. If it turns into something towards a soloution its ok, but just creating thoughtless slander to satisfy yourself is questionable.

K: So its often said, if you continue the conversation only looking at the bad things, it can't be helped. There are also good people out there..you know, put more importance on those people. How to put it...its like we said before, if you focus too much on that one out of a hundred, its kind of rude to the other 99.

J: I see. Still this person has over 200,000 followers and its said she has been fighting slander for ten years.

T: She's always been a bit of a talking point online. I'll just search for her.

J: I also have Instagram, I do stuff to do with societal problems on The Dave Fromm show's youtube channel, and whenever I upload about it (on IG), my followers decrease! *everyone laughs* Outrageously decrease! Im serious, despite getting so far, that channel updates every week, and with every update my followers decrease. Maybe people hate reading about societal problems..*to Tasai* What did you find?

T: So for example there was that thing recently about regulating gamers to 60mins per session, she had quite a few things to say about that, playing vs learning etc.

J: I see..Young people do complain, well you can't really tell here, but on the other hand, young people these days, i know they would hate us old guys talking about this, but young people apparently have three main taboos. The first is talking about sex, they dont follow this, the second is politics, they don't follow this either, and the other one is, they don't like being made to talk about the kind of things that they really need to be talking about...there seems to be this kind of trend. So i think in this way...theres a chance Haruna is getting right to the point of this. But certainly, applying the law in a way that recognises infringement/damage to honour by way of personal utterances has the potential to lead to restrictions on the freedom of expression. Its a difficult play off, isnt it?

T: Yes, it really is

J: Obviously, when it comes to race, or racial discrimination, there has come to be rules concerning hate speech and so on, but how far can you regulate one-to-one slandering, or..how far can you protect the person being attacked? Should the country or the judiciary decide this? Its difficult.

K: Kami, what do you think? Are you there?

Kami: Well, I hear slanders towards me all the time *everyone laughs* Like, god tells lies, god is useless, or even that there is no such thing as god!

J: Ahh, i see. They deny you!

Kami: Yes, thats it. If I care about those things, I lose!

J: Do you search for yourself online?

Kami: I do. *everyone laughs* ..and whenever I do its only ever those things that come up.

J: Ah of course...Kami, you have an exceptionally good handle on social media dont you?

T: He's great

Kami: Ive got a good handle on it.

J: Do you use an iphone?

Kami: I have two.

J: God has two iphones! Thats brilliant.

Kami: Yep, I have two...im not allowed to use them while im working.

T: Does he have a contract? With his address and such?

J: I can't tell whether he's great, or whether he's not so great...

Kami: If i care, I lose...I prefer them to hate me, rather than to be indifferent to me.

K: Kami, what do you think about playing computer games for one hour?

Kami: If the kid is good at it, they should keep doing it.

T: I see, i see.

J: Ohh not sure about that. That seems a bit out.

Kami: No, i really think so. Skilled kids can carry on playing.

K: Should unskilled ones give up?

Kami: Yes, they shouldn't do it...When they play all day, and they just can't clear the level..that kind of kid.

K: Its a waste of time right?

Kami: Exactly, its a waste.

J: They should do something else?

Kami: Yes

K: You should quit if you have no talent for it?

Kami: Yes, yes, its talent.

J: Well, just getting off a nightshift must be tiring.

K: For us too, you know, we should try not to say 'stop it' too quickly...we have to keep it interesting.

Kami: It was interesting though, I was listening.

T: Oh thank you.

Kami: But don't tell lies about me.

T: If you thought it was interesting, you should write about it on your social media.

Kami: Yeh, everyone pretends on social media anyway, they won't know its me.

K: Well, that was the first episode of 'The Freedom of Expression' but, should I ask how it was..? *laughs*

J: But, being together again after a while was refreshing..

K,T: Yes, thats right

T: Im happy.

J: So am I.

K: Well, so we started in this vein....Tune in next time to see how it goes. So this time, only this camera, theres nothing here *gestures behind*, but if lots of people watch, we could go different places, increase our cameras. I still don't know about your fee, Joe.

J: Eh?! What do you mean? It says here my fee will stay the same!

K: I might have to lower it *laughs*

J: *coughs* You're only lowering mine?...But everyone please subscribe.

K: Yes please. Please look forward to next time. Thank you very much.

1* They are saying 'How about this?' in a Kansai accent, how to translate that??

#dir en grey #the freedom of expression #kaoru #薫 #tfoe #tfoe01

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coolgirl · 4 years

Note

Hey what's Jason's relationship with nocturna? It's the first time I've heard of her😣 and nothing on her wikia mentioned anything about Jason. She seems interesting character and I would like to know more about her.

okay I went. A little insane. Here's a retelling of her pre crisis arc, long as hell

(this part covers Batman #529 / Detective Comics #363 / Batman #530) ok for some context: it’s pre crisis, meaning this Jason was also a circus boy. He has recently lost his parents, and was taken by Bruce, but isn’t dealing with the loss well, finding himself missing his past life. PLUS Bruce isn’t allowing him to be his partner, and that has him sad as well.

SO he wants to go back to the circus, since hes lonely and directionless etc.

NOW. ENTER NATALIA KNIGHT! Shes a villain, think.. Catwoman meets Poison Ivy? She’s a thief, but seduces men to do the stealing mostly.

Her backstory is basically that she was an orphan living in the streets, and met who will then become his adoptive parent Charles Knight when she was 12. When she’s already an adult, Charles gets killed, and she finds out he had big money bags bc he was a criminal. and she said. awn man i like being rich. well. time to do crimes.

she’s rlly into the night and the stars (she was the head of the observatory, which Bruce was funding through his company or w/e)

anyways. she gets away, Jason helps bruce find her (but! bruce wouldnt le him help which rlly hurt jason), and as her and her partner anton are getting away (again) batman catches up to them, but only manages to bring anton to justice, while Nocturna escapes in like. one of those giant balloons idk whats the name

the issue ends with Nocturna/Natalia sending Bruce money for the maintenance of the observatory and with Jason deciding to leave

NOW onto the next part. So in this issue we have Jason escaping home, Bruce going to court against Natalia’s partner Anton, and Natalia just vibing around, and she happens to find Jason running away from home, and they have a conversation in which she tries to convince him to go back home.

but Jason. well.

So Bruce gets back home and Alfred tells him about Jason running away, and bruce, in real bruce fashion, is all like ughg i shouldve listened to him.. well lets go get him. and alfred is like. sir. do i have to remind u u arent his legal guardian yet. u have no right to decide where he stays.

so bruce is like ugh fine. i’ll go patrol then. which he does, and turns out Nocturna was trying to help Anton escape, and well it fails, and she gets captured too.

and that’s that for Natalia… for now ;)

NOW. this isn’t relevant for Natalia & Jason but again some context. Covers um covers fuck a bunch of issues. SO. what happens in this time

jason goes back to the circus but is deeply unhappy

he’s still doing detective work. hasnt seen bruce or alfred in a while

alfred visits

case stuff case stuff case stuff it was the clown all along

Jason ends up helping Bruce, since they were both working the same case separately, and they make up

NOW. a lot of shit happens not relevant to nocturna. Jason isnt robin for a while, then he uses Dicks costume, then bruce gets mad at him for that bc its not his costume, so jason uses his own costume, then dick gives him the robin costume, so jason becomes robin. um stuff stuff happens and all it matters is the panel below.

NOW! BACK TO NOCTURNA!

her comeback arc kinda starts in batman #374, where this lady is like hold on.. bruce wayne isnt jasons legal guardian wtf, is he even fit to have a kid?

so she starts digging around, asking questions

and shes like yea this is real fishy, give me that kid

so bruce and jason try to behave like uh yes no robin and batman business. let that kid be a kid.

but welp.

and so.. Jason is taken away :( and both of them are heartbroken :(

but u know what! bruce wayne is one stubborn fucker! and he will fight to have the legal guardianship!

and even if they’re not living together anyomre they’re still the dynamic duo in a way, which like. lol. this lady took this kid away bc she was worried about him but he still ran away.. tch tch tch.

they’re both rlly depressed about the situation

AND THATS WHAT U MISSED ON GLEE!!

NOW. SHES BACK. look at this epic cover

shes now parterning w a dude named nightshade or smth, and he like. rlly wants to hit that, but shes like um pause ⏸️✋my love is the night. the dude, like every other man, is like so im not getting anything from this? fuck u, and leaves. shes like whatevers, ugh how annoying i dont have a partner again & anton is still in prison… & while shes again chilling she finds out about Bruce trying to legally adopt jason & recognizes jason from the time they talked

& goes to visit him

and theres also this dude, whos not rlly relevant for now, will try to stop bruce from adopting jason which will be relevant later hehe (there's a whole subplot with him and bullock but like it's not rlly relevant to Jason n Natalia) (shrug emoji)

and so. Bruce finds out..

and so the cover becomes a reality, Bruce and Natalia WILL fight in a chuck n cheese parking lot to become Jason’s parent.. and Natalia may try to pull a reverse card on Bruce

and well. Bruce rlly has no chance now does he? and turns out Jason wants this to happen since hes convinced he can unreveal Natalia’s secrets from the inside

and a lil sweet moment between father & son

and then a moment with Amanda, who, in my opinion, did nothing wrong ever

meanwhile Anton comes back, tells Nocturna he killed the dude that was bothering her, and she gets PISSSSEDD OFF shes like u TARNISHED the night by SPILLING BLOOD, u absolute BEAST, Bruce gets there, some weird stuff happens that aged rlly poorly, then Nocturna stabs Anton to save Bruce, turns out she knows hes batman, again shes like marry me to have our son (Jason) and hes like no! and leaves. While Bruce tries to find Anton, Jason is like ive HAD IT i wanna go out, but Natalia stops him

then the next morning Amanda gets her head straight and talks to Jason

but well Jason is hellbent on exposing Natalia from the inside or w/e, and eventually she gets the custody, even if Amanda tries to convince him and the judge Bruce is a better choice (since she noticed Jason clearly favors him and was in pain when he wasnt at the wayne manor)

and everyone is coddling Bruce which im adding bc its cute and i miss this relationship Bruce had with Vicki and Julia

MEANWHILE, at the knight house. mad hatter is a a weird creepy rat bastard n tries to get control of Natalia & get the information of her brain or smth. Batman gets there & we get a Batman vs Controlled nocturna fight and then Robin also arrives and its Batman & Robin vs Nocturna, but B tells Jason to focus on getting Mad Hatter, which he does and then gets Nocturna back to normal whatever, and she again asks Bruce to marry her, which hes again like no thank u! the issue ends with this page which is rlly sweet imo

next up Anton is back but it doesnt matter rlly. a woman is tending to him, n because shes blind hes like. im batman. yeah. and she believes it.

AND then Jason is formally adopted by Natalia

Jason is still trying to find proof that shes evil, and they share a moment.

but jason is like. gotta fight crime! and so Natalia is like well i tried. wanna go be robin a bit?

Batman & Robin go after mad hatter, and then Nocturna joins them bc shes epic

and takes jay home bc its a school night smh

Natalia & Jason spend some time together but Jason still doesn’t warm up to Natalia which like. makes sense since shes a villain and all that, but she tries nevertheless

and then everyones most hated bitch comes back (Yes, anton) n he attacks Natalia, and then Jason when he hears the ruckus and goes to help

but gets a chop

but! Bruce was just on his way to visit them so

fight fight bruce gets shot in the head n gets amnesia and thinks the dude anton shot & killed was him

Anton swaps their costumes n makes Bruce believe that Anton is batman not him? or smth

afterwards Jason blames himself

and him & Natalia team up to find Bruce which includes.. carrying a corpse around

for three days (well. nights) anton just runs around stealing n shit dressed as batman, n bruce is. literally chilling on a rooftop. alfred is losing his mind bc !? jason hasnt contacted him!? about what happened!? but Julia comes home and comforts him

gotham is a lil in chaos with gordon vicki vale n bullock being suspicious, and the girl who was helping anton finds the stuff he stole and realizes hes not batman.

on the fourth night Jason n Natalia find Anton

n they fight him

but Anton gets the upper hand w Nocturna so Jason jumps in to defend her

and then Nocturna defends Jason bc thats his baby

but Anton doesnt get like. killed w that ofc, and hes like fuck u i’ll kill u one day but when the kid isnt here and after batman has fallen, bye (throws jason from building)

and Natalia reagroup n well.. some things are said

bc like even if Nocturna is helping shes a villain.. right? (thinking emoji)

meanwhile Bruce finally got his mind back. not important. who cares. the lady who was helping Anton goes to the police to tell them about Anton/fake batman dun dun dun. but Anton finds out and knocks out the policeman who went w the girl (Tina!) to check for proof n shit.

and guess whos back! amanda!

back to new dynamic duo

so Jason the little rascal (can i say hes a rascal when hes doing the hero thing n trying to expose a criminal?) goes looking for proof that Natalia is Nocturna n stuff, and finds some stolen things

1. singsonging.. hes such a little shit lmaoo, 2. she was worried… pause…

anyways. they have a confrontation

in which Natalia swears shes reformed, but Jason doesnt buy it, and is like. im gonna get gordon! and Natalia is like.. do what u think is best

but. he can’t do it..

n hes like. well shes not bad anymore.. i wish i could go back to bruce without sending her to prison which… please development.. n natalia DOES want his love..

AND THEN! BRUCE IS BACK! and he teams up with Nocturna to find Anton, but its just their luck Amanda sees them

they do sm stuff not relevant and then Bruce is like go back to ur son now, and Natalia is like.. OUR son :)

well whatever whatever they get Anton, Bruce goes back to being Batman, they clear his reputation, Jason goes back to the manor since Amanda saw Natalia, etc

(he munches he crunches) also im gonna add this that isnt relevant bc its just so funny, buenos dias alfred

anyways stuff hapens, like idk 14 issues without nocturna, the most important bit that happened is that selina is back. which she was gone. yeah. but shes back and around.

ANYWAYS! 15 issues later! shes back! some dudes entered her old observatory n were vandalizing and she was like hold up

meanwhile we have Jason calling amanda bc he well.. misses his mom and as much as he loves bruce and hes his dad its not the same for some reason

jason in every universe: i miss my mom i want my mom :(

at school Jason overheards some kids talking about Natalia in the observatory

Jason goes looking for Natalia n turns out Bullock was also trying to see what was happening in the observatory, so they kinda team up for two whole panels to find her

but Jason is like im not telling u shit.. n goes w Natalia on his own

google always taking pics

n they share a moment ;_____;

n theyre reunited.. now ur gonna have to excuse me bc i didnt download the high quality of the next tec issues n all the download links are sadly broken

but… what about natalia?

then bullock finds them

well bullock lets her go n while retelling the stuff to gordon he has.. a theory

meanwhile Nocturna.. well Nocturna is back at it again, taking charge of a band of thieves.. sigh.

anyways, they talk, theres something weird happening w the sky that may mean the world is ending or smth, and they make up AND make out

n they have a talk thats basically like. what now? should we be together? well depends if ur still gonna steal. i need funds to get the observatory back in track (HELLO BRUCE IS RICH HE COULD PAY IT..) and hes like oh so ur gonna be a thief again.. and shes like well havent u noticed im only stealing from corrupt rich politicians!? (QUEEN) n theres this gorgeous shot

n then they go their separate ways bc its fucking batman

anyways. Selina was also investigating the group of thieves (that were like black masks old gang but he was sent to prison so Nocturna took over etc) and she sees Nocturna leaving and follows her to the Observatory but.. Jason is there too

Selina wants her GOOOONE she needs to clear her name but Jason is like. over my dead body

n well ……. the girls are fightinggggggggggggggggggggggggg

but Bruce intercepts

n now Batman n Catwoman fight and its like the girls are fightingggggg… 2! but doesnt matter look at them

and then Selina gets struck by lightning

n then theres a earthquake bc god what a damn comic, and the observatory collapses, and Natalia is trapped inside

anyways Selina is in the hospital, Anton is still killing people and knows where she is and is trying to get to her, and this little scene happens with Jason n B

n while Bruce stays with Selina Jason goes to find Natalia which is so funny like. she went to Natalia, his mom, when Bruce told him to go home and well– we al know that story.

n now its a race to get to Natalia before Anton gets to her

n its rlly sad bc like Natalia is ready to die

but both Bruce n Jason are trying to reach her

and here comes Jason!

AND LIKE. the fact she wants to live after all bc of Jason rlly makes me emotional not gonna lie! not gonna lie!

and no offense but a mother’s love………………………………….. no thoughts head empty

first of all i hate anton so fucking much. secondly here comes batdad..

n Jason tries to help Natalia escape and then get back to Bruce who is getting his ass kinda kicked

guess whos coming in that helicopter.. selina freaking kyle.. the legend.. and she helps Bruce with Anton.

I REALLY DONT GET THIS TBH LIKE. he puts her into the giant balloon so she can get away but like shes hurt buddy shes gonna die up there..

and. shes gone.

n Jason is absolutely devastated

n like. Bruce. as always. is like ok champ i see u got it in control, lmk when u wanna go home

LIKE HES SO SAD.. OF COURSE HES SAD THAT WAS HIS MOM....

And thats. pretty much it. Natalia is gone.

However Jason still grieves her, and when Bruce and Selina are trying to get back together and... hes not a big fan of their relationship.. at all. But bruce tries to pair them up so they can become at least friends, since he loves them both and doesnt want to like. pick between his son and his lover

and they make a fine team, even if Jason grieving Natalia and how Selina doesnt want to take her place is brought up a couple times :(

and it gives it a bittersweet ending to the arc

and well. thats it. thats the Jason and Natalia dynamic.

Natalia reappers later post crisis but well w/o her connection to Jason.. and i really dont wanna talk about the version of her that appears in batwoman comics LOL.

conclusion: natalia was a bad lady, who at first wanted to use jason to get money from bruce, but then she had a change of heart, and development and became a kind of anti hero? well not antihero just.. she was trying her best man. i wish she hadnt disappeared like she couldve stayed relevant to jasons story without having to be romantically with bruce? bc if u read her comics u can see that she was killed off/voided for batcat to comeback which... typical batcat! anyways. i think she genuinely loved and cared for jason and that jason loved her and cared for her right back :(

#Anon #long post #jason todd #natalia knight #I think a lot of stuff about super early nocturna didnt age well BUT. IT GOT RETCONNED!! and she got a deserved redeption arc i think

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shes-ddreaming · 4 years

Text

the eyes that lost you ➸ lee donghyuck

✧ destination ↬ best friends to lovers + fluff, angst,,, all that jazz yak

✧ a party of two for ↬ lee donghyuck x reader

✧ duration of flight ↬ 2.5k

✧ in stereo ↬ exo - what if

✧ in which your best friend donghyuck decides to pretend to be someone else’s boyfriend, leaving you to confront the only thing you’ve been avoiding your whole life—your feelings for him.

donghyuck had confessed to you a long time ago. and if you only knew that you’d be hurting like this now, you would’ve said yes to him in a heartbeat. but you didn’t; you had decided that your friendship was more important than anything, rejecting your best friend’s confession.

he took your rejection lightly, telling you that your friendship was just as important to him as it was to you. “look, y/n, i love you not because i had any intention of making you my girlfriend, but because... i love you for .. you. and if you’d much rather stay friends, then i’m all for it. i’ll be your best friend—whatever you want me to be, i’ll be.” he was sincere, and you appreciated that more than anything. you were more than grateful that donghyuck understood your reasoning behind the rejection.

and a day later, things went right back to normal, never a moment of awkwardness. he was still the same best friend you’ve had since you came out of the womb. it was as if his confession never happened.

and that’s all it took for you to make lee donghyuck your best friend for life. he was your constant, the one person in your life who has always stayed by your side. so many of your friends have come and gone, but donghyuck wasn’t one of them.

here you were, not even 3 years later, your eyes were on your best friend whose hair has grown a little longer from how it was when he confessed. he’s a lot taller now, standing a good 6 inches or so above you. it seems like a lot about him has changed, and his feelings for you were not an exception. but there was one thing that could never change, and that was you being his best friend.

the object of his lingering glances is no longer you, but it just had to be kang mina. you weren’t surprised—she was annoyingly pretty, smart, and funny. not only that, she happened to be the class president. donghyuck? vice president. everyone called them a match made in heaven. you hated how you felt when he was around her. you hated how your heart would fall every time you caught sight of him stealing glances at her. it wasn’t fair. it wasn’t fair to donghyuck. what right do you have to catch feelings for him when you let him suffer from his feelings for you for so long?

the guilt had eaten you up for a long time. you liked to believe that your suffering now was your way to repay the pain you caused donghyuck for liking you without any reciprocation all those years.

he always reminded you that he was alright with the way you two were, that you rejecting him didn’t hurt him as much as you thought it did, that he was glad you two were best friends. but it was hard to ignore his obvious feelings for you. you knew deep down that you were hurting him by staying friends, but he never complained. he quietly loved you until he developed feelings for someone else.

it was your turn to realize your feelings, only now it’s too late. you’re in love with your best friend but he’s in love with someone else.

however, it probably wouldn’t hurt as bad if he hadn’t been fake dating her. maybe then you wouldn’t see him in so much pain. you couldn’t bear to witness seeing him doing anything and everything for her when she doesn’t even feel the same way, just like he did for you.

“you’re a hypocrite,” mark says as you bore your heart and soul to him. these days, donghyuck sits with mina at lunch to continue to play the little charade they’ve been onto for weeks. mark lee has been your rock these past few months, always quietly listening to you and offering—what he would call—words of wisdom. you couldn’t count how many times you’ve gone to him to talk about your conflicting feelings about donghyuck. “be honest with me. is the fact that you’re no longer the object of lee donghyuck’s desire the driving force of what you think are your feelings for him?”

leave it to mark lee to be brutally honest with his stupid rhetorical questions. you sigh, putting your head down on the cafeteria table. you were a shitty person, a terrible, shitty person. you feel your lunch tray being moved away from your head. “do i have lettuce in my hair?” mark laughs at you, slapping your shoulder in the process.

“you did. but, i took it off of your hair, dumbass,” he softly pats your head like one would do to a crying toddler. “look, i’m sorry if that was a little mean. i hope i didn’t hurt your feelings or anything.”

“nah, it just got me thinking. do you think i’m projecting my desires of wanting a

boyfriend onto hyuck? or maybe i’m friend-jealous and i’m mistaking it for being in love with him?” you once again steal a glance at the boy who has been all over your thoughts lately and your heart disagreed. whatever these feelings were, they’re definitely not friend-jealousy or whatever mark had called it. you knew in your heart that you loved him.

“oh god i wanna die, i want to actually fucking die.”

mark has this amused look on his face as he helps you pack up once the bell rings for 4th period. “stop thinking about it for now, alright? we can get ice cream after school, it’s on me. i think i owe you.” he takes the textbook you were holding out of your hands and carries it for you, as he reaches his hand out for your backpack. you roll your eyes, taking it off and handing it to him. this was beginning to be a routine for you two whenever you’re sad. mark never lets you carry anything and always walked you to class.

“what did i do to deserve a mark lee?” you wonder out loud, followed by a kick to your shin from mark. you immediately took back what you said. “suddenly i don’t remember ever being friends with a kid named mark.” you hear his obnoxiously loud laugh and shake your head.

“shut up, loser!”

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: KDKDKD come heRE

[you questioned: “KDKDKD come heRE”]

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: STOP DOING THOSE REACTION THINGS AND REPLY FJDKDKDKD

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: PLEASE Y/N OH MY GOD

you: WHAT

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: pls come down to my floor rn i need sugar

you: what the fuck

[full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖 disliked “what the fuck”]

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: I PROMISE YOU’LL GET TO HAVE SOME OF THE COOKIES I BAKE

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: I RAN OUT OF SUGAR I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE 😔🙏🏽

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: I HAVE A COUNCIL MEETING IN LIKE 2 HOURS AND I NEED TO HAVE THE COOKIES DONE BY THEN

you: oh shit i just checked i dont have any sugar

[full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖 disliked “oh shit i just checked i dont have any sugar”]

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: god why didn’t apple give the people™ the option to disheart something

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: you had one job

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: ONE JOB

you: KDKSKSKS IM SORRY LMFAO

you: ALSO I DONT EVEN THINK DISHEART IS THE RIGHT TERM FOR IT

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: come to the grocery store w me 🥺👉🏽👈🏽

you: fine 😔

“hey, neighbor!” you hear donghyuck yell from his door as you hold the button that keeps the elevator doors open.

you can already hear mark arguing “you two technically aren’t even neighbors! he lives like two floors below you!”

while donghyuck counters back saying, “yeah but if she lived on my floor then we would live right next door to each other!” you can recall this exact confrontation when the three of you were in 3rd grade.

you and donghyuck have lived in the same apartment building your whole lives—which is also a big reason as to how the pair of you reached best friend status.

“let’s go before the sun starts setting!” he was smiling as he ran towards you and you couldn’t even deny that your heart was doing backflips.

“hurry up before i let go of this button and leave you there,” you threaten him and he laughs, pretending to walk in slow motion. you let go of the button and the elevator doors begin to close in on each other, prompting a loud gasp from donghyuck as he runs as fast as he can to reach the doors before they close completely.

“y/n, what the fuck!” he cries once he reaches the doors and they open back up again. he had his hands on his knees in an attempt to catch his breath and you couldn’t contain your laughter. “i hate you, oh my god! i busted a lung out there trying to catch up to the elevator. i can’t believe you’d do that to me.” you were both laughing now and you watched as he pretended to sob.

the doors of the elevator opened back up once you reached the lobby and donghyuck takes this as an opportunity to run away from you to get to his car before you could beat him there.

he had his payback when he locked the doors before you could even open the door to his car, leaving you there for a good two minutes, yelling “karma, bitch!” before finally letting you in.

“you’re insane!” he just laughs at this, and you two call a truce to stop pulling pranks on each other for the duration of your grocery trip.

“alright, alright. i’ll go drop the sugar off to my house and i’ll meet you at the rooftop,” you nod, waving goodbye to him as he steps foot off the elevator with the grocery bag in his hand and you continue up to the penthouse floor.

you really didn’t know if this was legal. if you were being honest, you had a feeling you were putting your parents’ lease on the line every time you snuck onto the rooftop. you made your way out of the penthouse floor, opening the doors to the fire escape before you were finally met with the stairs that lead up to the rooftop.

you smiled as you looked up to the sky with its various shades of blue, purple, and pink. it was your senior year of high school and you knew you’d miss this once you left home.

you: HURRY UP THE SUN IS SETTING REAL QUICK

you: it’S NOT GONNA WAIT FOR YOUR SLOW ASS

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: FUCK FUCK FUCK WAIT IM PUTTING THE COOKIES IN THE OVEN FIRST

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: TELL THE SUN TO SLOW DOWN 😤😤 damn even the sun has no pATIENCE

you: damn riGHT so if you don’t hurry up you’re gonna miss it 😔

full sun (the best friend) 🌞💖: ALR ALR THEY’RE IN THE OVEN I’M USAIN BOLTING OUTTA HERE

and usain bolt, he did. donghyuck soon opened the doors out of the fire escape, finally getting a glimpse of the sky as the sun started to set. you seemed to have not noticed him, eyes focused upwards onto the sky.

he stopped in his tracks. donghyuck liked to think he no longer had any feelings for you. “not even any residue,” he would tell himself. but he couldn’t lie that there were some moments that he’d wish you had felt the same way as he once did. this exact moment would make it on that list. you looked cute. your small figure was a good ten feet away from him but despite the distance, he just knew there was no other place you’d rather be at the moment.

“finally!” you yell as he made your way towards you. “i was ready to lasso the sun and keep it here until you got your ass up here.”

he was staring at you, a small smile adorning his features. if the word fond could be personified, it would probably be this exact face he was making.

you finally let go of the breath you had been holding when his eyes leave your face and instead focus onto the sky. “god i’m gonna miss this.”

“the sky? i was thinking the exact-“

“no, us.” oh shit. oh shit. oh shit. you couldn’t even look at him. god, you were blushing like crazy and you prayed that he didn’t notice because you knew you were being crazy obvious right now. “i’m gonna miss us sneaking onto the rooftop to watch the sunset, you know? it’s just- i don’t know. senior year ending has made me become more... sad? i don’t think that’s the right word for it. nostalgic? maybe. every moment just has this sense of finality to it and that scares me.”

you were about to reply, but you were immediately cut off by the sound of his phone ringing. “hey, mina.”

and just as icarus flew too close to the sun, so did you heart. and now you felt it falling straight down to the sea. you didn’t bother to listen to the rest of his conversation on the phone. instead, you watched the sun while it painted the buildings a brilliant shade of golden yellow and casted a shadow onto the trees. but the view of the buildings could never compete with donghyuck as his tanned skin glowed in the golden sunlight and his eyes twinkled in a different shade of brown.

“crap, i almost forgot about my council meeting. i have to go pick up mina, too,” he had a small frown on his face and you giggled. lee donghyuck, how could you be so cute? “are you gonna be okay up here? i’m gonna go get the cookies ready. i’ll leave some at your door, as promised.”

you reject donghyuck’s offer of walking you to your door, telling him that you just wanted to stay here for a little while longer.

mork 🤢: damn senior year rly be hitting different 😩😔😫💦

you: MARK WTF JDDJDJ YOUR EMOJIS GTFO

mork 🤢: y/n i have a story omg facetime me #storytime

mork 🤢: i think my life is starting to become a coming of age movie LMAO

you smile as you read mark’s texts, telling him you’ll facetime him once you get back home. he was right though; senior year really did feel different, and it forced you to confront feelings you’d much rather keep buried, especially in the lee donghyuck department of your heart.

hello! if you made it this far, then thank you 🥺 tbh i was reALLY SCARED TO POST THIS IDK I HAVEN’T ACTUALLY WRITTEN ANYTHING IN AWHILE !! this WILL be continued so stay tuned !! 💖 kjdfakjl also aren’t we all just tryna be hyuck’s best friend 😔✊🏽

#haechan #lee donghyuck #donghyuck x reader #haechan x reader #haechan au #lee donghyuck x reader #lee haechan x reader #donghyuck au #ee.doc

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heartjwi · 4 years

Note

could you do a bed sharing au with any of the dreamies,, ur choice im indecisive, like an e2l,,, im a sucker for bed sharing stuff 🤧🤧🤧

requests are open

going on spontaneous trips with the dreamies sorta became your thing™️

like expect someone to call you at 1 am and just be like:

“PACK YOUR SHIT WE’RE PICKING YOU UP IN 5”

and then y’all end up in the middle of no where in the middle of the night

but in the end, it’s always fun being with your best friends

except for jaemin

something about him just made your skin crawl

but it dont matter

cs u lit cher rally ignore him each time

you either stick with renjun or hyuck

no in between

jaemin is just,,,, he’s something else

anywho

the dreamies ,, yet again planned something spontaneously

and that is,,,

having a roadtrip across town

you don’t even know what the fuck they ate that day

to even plan something so,, out of the blue

and out of your own reach

like, you guys barely have any money combined for gas

and at some point y’all need to shower

that means staying at a hotel

and buying food

¿¿

but according to chenle, “money doesn’t matter. the memory with your love ones does”

so here y’all are,, packed in jeno’s car

“WHY DIDNT YOU GET THE MINI VAN” hyuck dramatically whines as he got in the passenger seat

the mf passenger seat

‘lucky bitch’ you thought as u squeezed yourself between renjun and jaemin

“why is y/n beside me and not jisung” jaemin complains

“cause i don’t want to sit with you” jisung replies on the other side of the car

jaemin grunts and avoids your physical contact at all costs

but obviously fails

every time jeno hits a speedbump you just fall right onto his lap

in which of course you remove yourself off of him in the speed of light

“you fucking suck at driving” renjun kicks jeno’s chair making the car brake abruptly

“I CANT TAKE THIS SHIT ANYMORE” chenle yells getting a paper bag and v*mits

car sickness yk??

the entire roadtrip was a mess

the sun has finally set and it was getting dark out

“yo um, i’m not gonna drive our asses all the way across town overnight i need me some beauty sleep” jeno looks at everyone with the rear view mirror

“theres a motel nearby let’s just stay there for tonight and tonight only” hyuck cleared out things, getting the GPS ready & working

“what are having for dinner?” you asked

“let’s just have some pizza” renjun suggests

“heh let’s try and not kill the pizza man” chenle snickers, remembring a certain scene from a music video he saw a few days ago

jaemin doesn’t say anything and just spaces out

you rolled your eyes at how he didn’t say anything

like i said, everything he does??? annoys tf out of you

“why are you so annoyed at him?” renjun asks you, playing with the hems of the blanket you two are sharing

“cause he’s jaemin. he’s so mean to me and i didnt do shit” you murmured, loud enough for renjun to hear

jaemin, who had his airpods on wasnt actually listening to songs

he was eavesdropping your conversation w renjun the entire trip

and he somehow felt bad that he was being mean to you

just the sudden realization hits him

but he brushed it off and continued to listen to everyones conversation

night time finally comes through and everyone is now at the motel

since renjun is ,, the legal adult in this situation

he booked everyone a room

with the limited budget y’all got atm,,, he only booked 3 rooms

“sad to say, two of us have to share 1 room together since all the two bed rooms are taken” renjun explains, holding out the three room keys

“let’s play rock paper scissors to determine the pairs” chenle suggested

“great idea bro” jisung whispers to chenle

“i know right bro” chenle giggles

you stared at the two kids in awe before being rudely pushed by jaemin himself

“move” he pushes past you

“dickhead” you muttered

“rock paper scissors.. shoot!” hyuck yells out

in the end the pairs were:

first room: jeno & hyuck;

second room: jisung, chenle & renjun

(renjun gets that other single bed while chenji gets to share the bed)

and finally, the one bed room,,,

it was you and jaemin

“you gotta be fucking kidding me” you react

the 5 boys looked at the two of you uncertainly

especially renjun and jeno

“i’d switch rooms with you if you’d like” renjun offers

“yeah! you can have the lone bed y/n!” chenle smiles

but you both reject the offers

“are you okay with this?” jeno asks jaemin cautiously knowing how,, cranky he can become when he’s a tad bit tired

“yeah” jaemin mumbles

“are you sure-”

“its fine. i can manage” jaemin waves jeno off

everyone slowly comes up to their rooms

you and jaemin stayed behind to get your stuff from the car

you got your small luggage and backpack and started trudging up the stairs

jaemin who was behind you couldn’t help but watch you in pity

he even started contemplating with himself whether or not to help you

swallowing his pride, he silently grabs both of your bags and sped walk to your room

you felt your heart flutter at his sudden actions

“snap out of it” you slapped yourself in the face

but still

you can’t hide that sly smile from your face

jaemin places your things by the door and went out to get some fresh air and some snacks

you decided that you’d use your alone time to go shower and pamper or some shit

after taking a cold shower (since the motel offers to PAY for hot water) you brushed your teeth and changed into pajamas

a little later jaemin comes back from his stroll

and walks in on you with your pink pajamas with a towel on top of your head

“cute” he comments, smirking at himself after seeing your flustered face

he does his business and later follows you to bed

there was a pillow barricade in the middle of the king sized bed

it was kinda awkward to move around since the bed creaks

and not to mention the mattress was hard as a rock

there was no TV in your room so to pass time, you stared at the ceiling fan in silence for god knows how long

till jaemin decides to break the silence

“i’m sorry”

you sat up and stared at him— who was also staring right back at you

“for?” you raised a brow

“for everything. for being rude to you for no reason” he calmly states

“i’m sorry too” you look at him with a pout

jaemin chuckles, “i guess we’re even”

after that, you and jaemin talk about endless things till the two of you got sleepy

“jaems, i’m tired” you whined

“this is the nth time you whined today. don’t get me started on your whines in the car” he nags

you scoffed, “bitch please”

“and don’t think you were trying to get handsy on me whenever you fall right onto my lap!” he accuses you

“like i wanted to touch you” you poke your tongue at him

jaemin rolls his eyes but laughs anyway

“since we’re friends now, lets get rid of this pillow barricade” he flings the pillow right onto the floor

“why though” you ask dumbfounded

“no reason” he giggles

“just admit you have a crush on me” you make kissy faces in front of him

he nearly gags but laughs yet again

you stared into his eyes which were sparkling

how come you never noticed such thing before?

“anyway, let’s sleep now” jaemin tells you before turning off the lights in the room

you two made yourself comfortable under the covers before hitting the hay

“goodnight jaemin” you whispered, closing your eyes

“sweet dreams, y/n” jaemin smiles to himself, before heading off to dreamland

the next morning, instead of feeling the cold and hard mattress,

you found yourself hugging something warm and cuddly

you woke up to be in jaemin’s arms

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mousehole5000 · 3 years

Text

okay im rewriting tgcf (only in my head im lazy) here are my notes on hua/lian specifically this is long bc fuck it. major spoilers obviously and same trigger warnings as the content of the book

disclaimer disclaimer disclaimer that i dont know anything about the cultural background of anything in tgcf or story tropes etc etc this is just I Think It Would Be Neat If..

there’s not really any reason to keep hc as a kid in the backstory BUT in the story in the intro (which i like narratively) it still says that it was a child who xie lian caught. it’s one of those things that got added to the legend to make xie lian seem even more noble, there are also probably a few other inaccuracies in the intro that get found out as the story progresses. in actuality hc was kind of a known troublemaker to the city guards or whatever or had been in the past. maybe his mother just passed after a long illness and his tumble off the wall was intentional. either way he’s kind of pissed at xie lian for saving him. xie lian is concerned about his health so he has to stay at the palace for a while he recovers and only interacts with xie lian a few times. there is a point where he says out loud all the things about the divide between the rich and the poor that have been illustrated by the scenes with mu qing. feng xin tells him to shut up but mq goes dead silent bc he kind of agrees but can’t say and does have his loyalty to xie lian (its a whole thing) and the resentment begins

also i think young hc’s personality is similar to his personality in the present but a bit more reserved and he’s got like this plucky streak or something. also he is unquestionably gay

anyway hc sneaks out of the palace and xie lian catches him obviously but they have a brief little heart to heart where xie lian is like “look you can go if you want here take this money food” etc and demonstrates that he has actually listened to what hc has to say and hc is like “wow no one other than my mom has ever listened to me in my life so thats what that feels like i kind of like it” and he probably is a bit awestruck by xie lian in different ways and after that is like “okay this kingdom sucks but.. that guys not so bad”

sad ironic sense that if xie lian hadnt ascended until he was older he may have actually be able to do something about the problems in the kindgom but alas we have a cycle to perpetuate

the “take me as the meaning of your life” scene still happens p much the same but xl doesnt recognize hc who is actually now at his lowest point. hc tried to find ways to make things better for people like him but he simply did not succeed (maybe his were efforts quashed by the corrupt authorities? its implied probably) and he’s more disillusioned with the kingdom and life than ever but still is holding on to those memories of xie lian as proof that it doesnt have to be like this but that thread is slipping until!! whose fucking voice is that??? thats right its the one person you ever believed was truly good and went and proved you right by ascending to the heavens at age 17!!! guess its time to stan him forever

anyway hc joins the army but legally or whatever and tbh i would have hated the flower cave scene regardless of anything i just hate any sort of s*x pollen trope or anything so thats gone (they can have a wound tending scene or something tho thats the good shit) and instead we have HL getting overwhelmed by some other demons or something together and xie lian protects hc and they both get injured very badly (maybe hc would lose a limb but im not sure how that would work once hes a ghost so thats on hold for now until i figure it out) and xl is fine but this situation ends up being part of why mq kicks hc out of the army but yes hc still ends up dying on the battlefield anyway </3

the wuming stuff is the same i think but also at some point xl is despairing and says something about that guy he saved from falling and wonders what happened to him and fire ghost wuming is like !!!!! (wait does this happen in canon? honestly it should)

in mount tong’lu i was tempted to actually have hc have a similar moment to the bamboo hat scene with the humans who are trapped in there but im not sure if i just want it to be the same as xie lian’s story... also i like the idea of hc needing to hang onto his devotion to get through his first few centuries of being a ghost so maybe he’s just inspired by xie lian’s sacrifice with the sword and the souls and thats why he claws his own eye out as a sacrifice

so this can go one of two ways from here!!! both are me projecting hardcore so take them with a grain of salt im not saying im right about the way relationships should be these a re just my thoughts <3

1. (the not fun one but it still has a happy ending) the story more or less continues the same as canon. pure and simple devotion is what carries hc through the centuries. we get to see some ghost city antics and its fun but there is nothing complicated about the devotion hc just wants to find xl and protect him. hualian eventually meet. they get along pretty well!! eventually there are cracks. when you hold someone in your mind for so long you have expectations for them that no person can meet consistently. hc thinks that since he’s seen xl during the worst time in his life that he can handle anything but it turns out that as amazing as xl is, he is also just a person and sometimes he is wrong or irrational or annoying. xl is so happy to have someone who will listen to him talk that he kind of neglects to really get to know who hc is as a person and hc is kind of like “huh i didnt expect this but im kind of hurt. i genuinely thought that i just wanted to serve and protect you but actually im my own person and this is weird” but he doesnt say anything he thinks he has to stick to his promise and it gets kind of uncomfortable!! maybe his luck goes haywire bc his faith gets rocked for the first time ever and they end up having to talk it out but their relationship is stronger for it <3

2. (i think this one is fun) hc struggles with waiting. he does it but its hard. he has doubts and when all his efforts to find xl are fruitless he starts to grow bitter and curses the day that xl saved him. his faith burns low but doesnt go out. then ghost city!! hc realizes that he can finally help people like him, even if theyre ghosts now and hes grateful for the chance to do this and grateful to xl and resigns himself to waiting. but its still hard!! he realizes that his luck is tied to his devotion and gets kind of pissed about it!!! he tries to remember all the good things about xl but its hard!!! his search becomes more about repaying a debt so he can be free than anything else, he just wants to help the common people spirits with no strings attached (this actually allows him to keep his luck bc he has the same wish as xl and thats what makes him a true believer!! is this corny? does it make sense? i dont care) and so eventually when he finds xl he’s like okay how quickly can i repay this debt/how can i keep my powers but then xie lian is... so good... and hc actually really likes him he remembers why he swore his devotion in the first place. now hes conflicted!!! dont worry they fall in love tho <3

wow this was really long if you read this hiiiii. anyway when i reread ill try to pay more attention to yin yu and he xuan for hc’s 800 years. hua cheng we’re gonna get you some friends and lore i swear to god

#agenda on the whole: hc character exploration #more ling wen and she gets a gf #i am making fq so fucking canon #sqx also gets a gf it is not [redacted]#less pm less qr #more lady rainmaster esp relevance wrt to agriculture!! it affects so much!!!#mouse mumbles #tgcf textp #move

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artificialenvy · 3 years

Text

CALLOUT POST

@currynahh / @currynya is a shitty person.

I am making this post because I refuse to let them throw around accusations that I'm a predator.

Reasons I believe they are shitty:

I have ADHD, but I'll try not to derail any points.

After not seeing my spouse since Highschool, they invited them to a discord server. I was brought along and given a "+1" role, as in "This person isn't one of us, just @twiranux 's +1. I wouldn't have had a problem with that if it didn't create and "In group" and "out group" where the people in the ingroup treated the +1 role as "not a friend, just a +1."

They have a room for venting in that server, as a lot of people do. I have seen people typing in there on three occasions and decided not to interrupt them for my own needs, however the time I got to start typing in there and posted a couple of messages to indicate I would be typing, someone else came in and made it about them. I doubt they meant harm by that, but I went to @currynahh and explained it hurt to be silenced like that. I wasn't looking for an apology, I was looking for a solution so other people don't get hurt. My proposed suggestion was a second vent room for if there were 2 people needing it at once on that large a server, it would be helpful, or atleast a rule about interrupting vulnerable people. They dismissed this saying "two rooms wouldn't help because what if there were THREE people" which, if there were three people at the same time one would still have to wait, but the line would be split in half and people would be able to use it if it was an emergency and the first space was already taken without interrupting.

When they dismissed this idea, I said (and I dont have the exact quote as I left the channel, something @currynahh is very particular about is exact phrasing.) "If there's no rule against interrupting I guess next time I'm in need to type and someone is already using the safe space, I'll just be That Dickhead[TM] and interrupt? Can't wait." to which they threatened me with a ban, assuming I meant I was going to actively hurt people instead of just pointing out that there being no rule meant ANYONE could be That Dickhead[TM]

I also pointed out the inconsistency of threatening me with a ban for saying I'd do what the other user actually did and cut someone off. (they never spoke to the person who interrupted me about the event, to my knowledge, and I never spoke to them or saw their name) so I referred to them as "the fucker who interrupted me." Not in a mean way, just.. Here people can be called fuckers, like calling kids brats. I apologized once they said they found that rude, but they kept bringing it up saying I was name calling.

This is Hearsay, but apparently they said the person probably interrupted me because of ADHD, they seem a bit too comfortable deciding what is a factor of someone's else disabilities without consulting them.

Them dismissing my problems and threatening me with a ban instead of trying to fix their server made me actually go to name calling, and I still feel it's fair to call them a heartless cunt. Heartless for pretending to care when really they just wanted to defend someone in the in-group, Cunt cause it's a great word and it fits. I know the word Cunt is seen more harshly in some places, again, so much here. They really take offense to regional and class based dialects. They went to a private school and were calling me mean for just calling a dude I had no name for as "a fucker" when to me, someone who's poor and went to public school in a shitty town in Ontario, it's the norm here.

Since they showed they really didn't care I told them they were fake and left their channel, my spouse chose to follow me which I didnt know about at the time.

They DMed my spouse with another person who hasn't spoken to my spouse or I in 6 years to call me toxic, abusive and a predator. My spouse said they wouldn't have that conversation without me, as its childish and unproductive to just talk behind peoples backs. When @currynahh kicked me out of the group chat, refusing to talk like adults, my spouse asked me to log into their account to participate since they didn't want to be cornered by these two people to talk shit about someone they care about.

They call me toxic and abusive because I vaguely know the passwords to @twiranux 's accounts, despite never logging in unless asked to (for example a daily event in a videogame that they won't be able to make in time but wants the rewards.) and because on one occasion while I was napping, my spouse forgot an agreement we made about watching a specific movie together and I was upset about that, as I'm sure most people would be if their partner agreed to not watch something without them. I tried to keep my cool and just stay out of the way of their enjoyment, but my spouse wanted me to join in atleast for the end so I did, still grumpy but trying to make the best of it. If they had waited an hour or chose a different movie, things would've been different but @currynahh doesn't want "excuses."

They call me a predator because the person I'm married to is 2 years younger than me. @twiranux and I have been together almost 9 years now, we started Long Distance Online Dating just playing minecraft, listening to owl city (our song's Honey and The Bee 🐝,) and making Garry's Mod youtube videos. We would've been about 13 and 15 at the time, though it is worth noting that our birthdays were less than a month away from when we started dating so 14 and 16 if you want to make that distinction, I was in class with people the same age as my spouse. They think the age is gross, but we were two neurodivergent kids who were extremely sheltered at the time (helicopter parents/physical disabilities) who could only have freedom online. We had met through liking the same movies and youtubers and knew eachother a year before, while I was asking for advice on asking someone else out, my now spouse confessed attraction to me and I suggested we try "dating" for a bit, which consisted of nothing new except drawing cute pictures and giving eachother nicknames. I dont know if I knew their age at the time, but I did think they were a boy which didn't change anything, just hopefully shows I wasn't some 30 year old neckbeard hunting for kids on the net, I was just a disabled kid who was caught off guard by a confession of attraction and rolled with it.

@currynahh says they have proof that we weren't innocent in highschool, as (they claim) we asked them to write nsfw fanfic about us, which.. we didn't? My spouse has no idea where thats coming from and neither do I so just a blatant lie. Not that it's anyone's business but my spouse and I didnt meet in person for about 4 years and anything physical took place after we were both legal adults, im not comfortable going into more detail.

After my spouse had me log onto their account to show they weren't going to be cornered by those two, I was allowed back into the group chat to try and figure out why they think im problematic, but @currynahh insists im just making excuses when I've just been saying exactly what im saying here. They say I'm sugarcoating it, I disagree. I dont have the exact words I said about everything, but admitting to calling her a Heartless Cunt isn't something I'd do if i were sugarcoating it as she suggests. This is how it played out they keep trying to shove me into this "abuser" box they framed me in without knowing me.

They would repeatedly spew paragraphs of "points" then block me and leave the group chat while I was typing up a response. They don't want excuses (read: explanations) and they don't care about facts (that they misunderstood certain things and was willing to clear up what I meant if they weren't so caught up on semantics.)

I will not go into my partners mental illnesses on this platform, but they have a psychiatrist who I've met and I have to (sometimes in a way that looks controlling to someone who doesn't know the problems) keep my spouse grounded. The Psychiatrist thought I was doing a great job at managing it, but @currynahh disagrees, saying I'm enabling (without even letting us tell them what the problem is or how im helping.)

Which brings us to the next point; they say I can't talk about the mental health of myself or my spouse because it will trigger them, meaning they block any attempt we make at explaining how it works. They treat us as a neurotypical couple and call it abusive when I'm literally just doing what's deemed best by a psychiatrist for my spouse.

For DARING to tell her to stop calling me a predator, she calls me a narcissist, which is just.. Very cool. Love me some armchair diagnosis. They also diagnosed me with anger issues (from one call in which I was grumpy and then me trying to defend myself from these accusations.) So really, I think docs are being paid too much 'cause @currynahh is doing their job for free.

Because they weren't listening to my spouse, my spouse decided to stop typing, especially since she was just going on long rants then leaving the server before we could reply. Whenever @twiranux gets a chance to speak, @currynahh would leave the server claiming it triggers their anxiety to face the consequences of what they said. Then they would tell me to quit speaking over @twiranux when I was just speaking on our behalf, while in a call with @twiranux due to these reasons.

Instead of keeping their nose out of our relationship like we were asking, they kept trying to tell my spouse (who chose to marry me and lives in another country) that im abusive because they think trusting eachother is a sign of abuse.

Instead of listening that we're fine, they throw a tantrum and tell us to go to marriage counseling (which, although I wouldn't be opposed to going, is very telling that they think people can just do things that require money on a whim.)

They say that "instead of saving up to move in together and have kids you should put money towards marriage counseling" which again, what savings do they think I have? My bank account has -$4.00 in it and my spouse can't work right now. We have nothing.

They keep bringing up kids and how would we raise them? Would they not have privacy? Its a stupid point they threw out there as currently there aren't plans to have kids and there's huuuge difference between a married couple knowing eachothers passwords and not letting your kids have privacy.

They keep bringing up the fact that we've lost friends before without knowing why. So if they want to private message me I'd be happy to tell her about how we left our last friend group after a dispute where the other people were claiming the N word was inoffensive. Or the group that actually was trying to get into my spouses pants and we weren't comfortable there. You keep making accusations then refusing to listen to facts.

Idk if I'm missing anything, if they unblock me and see this they will probably say I'm staw-manning again without actually telling me how and while having no counter arguments. They also don't accept my adhd for accidentally derailing, while using theirs to deflect any criticism.

Karina, you don't know us and you say even talking about our mental health will trigger you, so you need to accept that you're unwilling or unable to understand the dynamics of our relationship but just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it's toxic. I wouldn't have made this post if you didn't keep calling me a predator, but I need to clear that accusation publicly before you keep throwing around dangerous labels.

Grow up. Get some help. Learn that your POV isn't the only one.

#they seemed to have changed their blog to currynya now #If you stop calling me a predator and stopped treating me like an abuser without listening and instead had a proper adult conversation on #discord id be willing to take down this post #but as it sits i have no choice since you keep attacking my character #currynya #currynahh

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richukisbb · 5 years

Note

Girl you know good & well we wanna know more!!

Haha okay! A continuation from this post!!

Please feel free to stop by my inbox! Thank you for letting me relive this day ❤️💕❣️

So I was sitting fourth row from the court and then these five boys came in but they didn’t know who should sit where and then richard took the initiative to sit first then chris. At the time I didn’t know that they were CNCO (please don’t come for me 😔)

But I knew they were somebody by the way that they dressed and came in together. Surprisingly their managers weren’t there like frfr who let them do these things alone?

So my dad and I were talking and he didn’t know who they were, just thought maybe they were the next Menudo… I realized I left my bag at the venue restaurant and I was freaking out. That meant I had to pass them in order to exit the row.

I passed Richard then Chris and here’s how you know Chris be a fucking friendly flirt because as I’m passing him, he looks up at me and is like, “Hi mami.”

I HAD NO IDEA WHO HE WAS AT THE TIME SO I’M INTERNALLY SCREAMING LIKE “Whose child is this?”

Again I didn’t know who I was talking to so I just waved at him and said hi back lmaoo.

I come back to the seats (I GOT MY BAG BACK BTW!!) and my dad is like “You should say hi to them now because they might not come back for half time.” But I didn’t wanna say “hi who are you?”

So when they were doing their IG stories, I was fucking squealing to my dad about JOhn Mulaney bc he walked in with Pete Davidson and you can hear me on richard’s story like “OMFGGG ITS JOHN MULANEY” whom I dont really care for but I wasn’t aboutta fan girl over pete.

I kept peeping Richard’s phone and it lit up with CNCO updates from twitter then I was like 😱😱😱😱😱

Also their WhatsApp groupchat is a very real thing lmaoo

I texted a friend who was a fan “bro i think im sitting next to cnco” and i seent her those pics of Chris and Joel.

I sent her this photo so she could tell me who I’m sat with.

Then my dad was like “you really need to say something now if you want a picture.”

With any ounce of confidence i had, I was like “Are you guys CNCO?”

And they all collectively, ten eyes and five heads turn to me like “YEAH!”

I told them “you all dressed like one unit and I figured that you looked familiar” PLEASE DONT EXPOSE ME TO THEM THAT I ONLY KNEW REGGAETON LENTO AT THE TIME 😩

No one had come up to them yet so I guess they were really excited that someone recognized them.

Then I asked for a picture and my dad took it.

SO THIS IS HOW AND WHY IM IN RICHARD’S LANE! It just happened that i talked to him the most because we sat next to each other.

Rich and I talked about being from New York and if he misses home. Then we talked about how they were doing promo things but after the NY trip they were headed, I think, for a short vacation. We talked about basketball and this game is our first game so he high fives me.

Then we stopped talking for a little bit but yall this man’s leg was

P R E S S E D against mine the whole time!!!

I was like “am I dreaming this or is he really not gonna move his leg off me??”

But also I hadn’t seen my ex in five months because we were doing “long distance” so any amount of physical touch from a guy i was aboutta 🥵🥵🥵

Then half time rolls around and they all leave. When the break is over, they actualluy don’t return and my dad was like “at least you got the picture.”

bc most celebs don’t stay past half time, it’s mostly to show their faces and then bounce.

bUT OUR BOYS COME BACK Richard and Chris are drinking beer I think. So I jokingly said to richard, “Oh, you're legal?”

I SHOULD’VE KNOWN THEY WERE BUT I DIDN’T

And hes like “Yeah shortie!”

So they’re also doing their IG live at this time (I have videos I took while they were Ig-ing live but tumblrwont let me publish onto this doc) You can kind of see me in my blue shirt in some frames.

I know word gets out that CNCO is at the game so the venue asks if they could be on the jumbotron and of course they say yes. The song they play to introduce them was reggaeton lento. CHECK OUT THIS LINK! I TOOK THIS VIDEO OF THEM!!

Im fucking laughing bc my dad kept pushing my back to get me into the frame of the jumbotron, which again you could see my blue shirt on it.

Anyway it’s time for them to go and they leave the game a little early because they dont wanna be caught with the crowds. They’re all super nice and turn to say bye to me.

But real quick I ask richard if I could get a hug

and he says “Of course, baby.”

I REMEMBER THIS BC MY DUMB THEN BOYFRIEND HADN’T CALLED ME “BABY” WHERE I FELT LIKE IT MEANT SOMETHING.

So another man calling me baby, I’m like: damn I’ll be your baby any day of the week.

Which in all seriousness, even though he’s richardcamacho, there was a gut feeling of “this stranger (okay so hes a celeb but so what) shouldn’t have such an impact on me if I’m getting enough love from my boyfriend.”

ANYWAY we hug and I accidentally tip off his hat.

They come behind our seats and I shake Erick’s hand which is where I told him that he had pretty eyes and he’s like “oh! thank u!!”

And that’s pretty much my story with how I met them 🥰🥰🥰

BONUS CONTENT:

I told my ex that I hugged Richard Camacho and HE BLEW UP ON ME lmaooo.

HE was like: how would you like it if I hugged a random B list celebrity?

YA KNOW I’m at fault for hugging a fucking billion+ streamed latin artist but he can go and fuck around with six other women during our whole relationship???

AYEE

So we broke up and it started because he was jealous of Richard, which is so fucking dumb. But I’m glad it happened yk? Otherwise, I’d still be in the relationship.

But at the time I didn’t know he was cheating until a week later I was thinking “There’s no way we broke up because you got jealous over a celebrity” and sure enough he was fucking with 6 other women. I have screenshots, pics, voicemails... the hardest part is he doesn’t think he did anything wrong.

To his deathbed, he believes that he was a devoted and true boyfriend.

I’m clearly still hurt and angry, healing too. But healing isn’t linear. Some days are better than others.

When I first found out about the cheating, all I listened to were the CNCO albums and drowned myself in interviews. I read imagines, blurbs, and fell for witty comments that y’all be posting on their photos.

I’m truly so thankful for my CNCOwner family.

I hope we all get to meet our boys. I’d tell them how thankful I was that they went to that game and how much their music has impacted my life; for it lead me to all of you 💕💕💕

#I cry #im emo!Richard now #siiigh #cnco #joel pimentel #zabdiel de jesus #richard camacho #christopher velez #erick brian colon #mun

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chumpmagump · 4 years

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27/08/2020

I dont really know what to say. I’m forcing myself to write something because I think if i leave it inside it will become something uglier. I really should be taking my own advice that i give clients, so here i am today trying. I have been stupidly irritated and moody by things at work the past week. I dont know if its compassion fatigue, i dont think it is because I was on the verge of tears at work yesterday after hearing two horrible things from clients. I think it could be my birth control, im on a new one and it lasts 3 months so i cant really do anything about it until the 3 months are up but hope that it starts to work for me without making a mega bitch. Today is going to be horrible because the first YP TOgraduate from rehab is being arrested and sent back to prison for another matter that i think doesnt deserve jail time atleast not to the extent of 12 months min. I’m devastated, i dont know how i will be able to wish them today knowing police are going to come to the door at any time during the graduation. Theres more to it that i cant get into for confidentiality reasons, but i’m angry at the legal system. Young people are so fucking vulnerable, especially those native to our country. And then another client is dealing with a lot of grief today. Its just not a great time at work. I’m heavily behind on counselling notes, and today i was going to take that time to do that but i dont feel comfortable leaving them at the centre today. Personal life is okay i guess? I havnt been seeing any friends. I havnt really wanted to. One of them i know has strong feelings for me and i just dont have the heart to tell him i dont think there is something there. After we went to the zoo on the weekend, I just knew i didnt feel anything really. All my othr friends, some of them are great and I would hang out with them in a heartbeat, but thats only a few that i know i would have energy for. Theres one particular friend i know i just need to cut off and ive been distant consistently, but shes still there. I know i just need the guts to say hey, you talk too much in convrsation and i dont have the fucking energy to listen to you 80% of our interaction because thats not a friendship. I think the mains i want in my life are -Malory -Cara -Phoebe -Andres -Matt -Shermin -Kosta if he can actually not be a dick - Courtney

the rest i probably need to improve my relationship with or fuck them off instead ofjust saying ‘‘ lets hang out tomorrow im tired today sorry’ like its not good enough from me. im sick of being a flake. I’ve made things clear with sam in terms of my boundaries and what i need from our interactions. He has stepped up significantly, which is strange and surprising. I dont really know whats changed in him, i guess the realisation I am a worthy person in his life. I’m still very very hypervigilant of him fucking up, i have to watch myself in not getting attached to the idea this will be consistent for him. he still hasnt fucked off the girl he slept with in the first place the night i was in deep trouble. I have not been taking care of myself the proper way. Probably because when i get home im fucking exhausted, I need a better way to cope with work because its spilling onto other areas of my life that ive forgotten i should be focused and entitled to. Like meditation i was doing everyday for weeks there, and i was doing stretching. Both things I have fucked off for no reason other than i am cold and tired and moody. I am getting braces in 4 weeks. Terrified. Still dont know clear aligners or ceramic. I am so fucking indecisive i hate myself and so does my ortho probably lol. i’m scared to even check my emails because i sent him a question that im worried will piss him off because ive been asking a lot of questions, and maybe he will just crack and tell me to fuck off which i know is highly unlikely i am just terrified. Ah yes, iron pills. something i need to actually get to improve my fatigue as well. Sex wise i am definitely more horny, which is great because that was like rarity for me. I think i have realised i need an emotional connection with the perosn and i need to be properly attracted to them, like not just a little but very much so. Funny, my best friend from high school hit on me last night. She is beautiful and I’ve always thought about that possibility but she would be so experienced being with girls and i have 0 experience lmao. All my exes have been jealous of her because they think im gonna go and be with her just because ive said i have found her attractive in the past. I think i have been having sex with the focus on the guy because i like them to have a good experience and i find that hot, But then physically like im not getting to finish because all my focus is on that yknow. okay ive started thinking about work again and how fucking devatsted i am for my client. Seriously, i just want to cry and scream and scream some more. I havnt been this affected by client situation in a long time. Maybe this afternoon i will go for a walk around the roos and listen to some songs in his legacy. Sigh. This was a messy post and really has no point and no grammar but i needed to write it

#2020 #27/08/20 #personal #social work #friendships #self care

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kakashibestie · 4 years

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1, 17, 22

whoa i accidentally clicked on one of the links i was going to list here and the entire answer was deleted i want to SCREAM…

anyway, thank u and i hope u don’t mind this being a lengthy answer

1. if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

read

the glass essay by anne carson (no other piece of literature has managed to give me the sense of…comfort this poem gives me thus far in my life sooo there’s that)

this poem by warsan shire

a couple entries of the ny times modern love column that i feel have…somehow changed me (1 & 2)

this poem i wrote at 1:30am a couple weeks or so after my last Breakup rly sums Me up

watch

THE FIRST STAR WARS MOVIE because luke skywalker in it is literally me

legally blonde is me but Better

and jackie (w/natalie portman) because she…i feel like she gets it like it’s…it’s…like i don’t want to spoil it too much but she smokes throughout the whole movie…like A Lot, and there’s a scene that kinda goes like this: the interviewer mentions he’ll write how she lights up another cigarette she looks him dead in the eye, answers his previous question, puts out the cigarette she’s been smoking and LITERALLY says “and i don’t smoke” as she does it like…her mind her MIND!!!! like that’s…something i could definitely see myself doing because i do smoke but not a lot and i could totally get away with saying i dont just for the SAKE of it! there are a few other moments throughout the film that make me go holy shit…she…understands, and the fun thing about it is that she’s someone ive kinda looked up to since i first learned abt her existence, but the way the movie turns her into a…sort of grittier, less polished version of herself is what rly rly does it for me. like once somebody told me i was like jackie kennedy but with messy hair—i’d like to add the fact that i Swear a lot to that description and it’d be…just perfect

now that we’re onto this please watch Her 1962 white house tour for some good ‘ol asmr

here’s a letterboxd list with some of my favorite films of all time

as for tv shows i recently watched the politician on netflix and oof…#me, i also love project runway??? because fashion jkfhdjkfsf

also um like it’s never enough Imagery™ with me sooo lana del rey’s national anthem music video is..yeah, and now that we’re on youtube pls watch ajayll’s melodrama album reaction, that’s me babey

this youtube video literally DONT ask what it is just watch it it changed my life and i hope it changes yours…very tender lots of yearning included

listen

my favorite song of ALL TIME (pls watch the music video as well pls watch the music video as well please watch the music video as well) and my favorite love song of all time (lyrics here pls read them)

a few songs about ME, off the top of my head: vienna by billy joel, abbey by mitski, primadonna by marina, i wanna get better by bleachers

THE ON BEING WITH KRISTA TIPPETT PODCAST!!!!! i’ve found such….comfort and like…rly rly valuable knowledge listening to it and i just, idk i’ve been listening to it for only a few months (like 4 i think…) but i feel like it’s already impacted my life in a deep, positive way!

17. would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”?

i think so yeah, i mean it’s a mixture of yknow everything i find pleasing with the occasional mental breakdown posts added to it

22. list the top five things you spend the most time doing, in order.

OH this is hard…being in college should be the First one but i will not count it

listening to music

watching yt videos (some of the channels im subscribed to are pbs space time, the school of life, bon appetit, this hairstylist called brad mondo, simplynailogical

being on social media (i don’t have a Working phone rn so i do everything on desktop and the sites i use the most are tumblr and facebook mostly bc i use to message classmates/friends and my mom lmao)

looking up stuff online, mostly clothes i’ll probs never buy but like i save stuff in wishlists and sometimes download images to a folder i’ve called “fashion ref”…lmao

sleeping

identity ask………oh shit

#about me #this was FUN to answer send more #anonymous #answered

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bartsugsy · 5 years

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why the ‘aaron gets kidnapped’ storyline of 2018 was perfect robron content and if you don’t think so you’re objectively wrong and yes i know the definition of objective bc someone already told me

hello spoons welcome to a post i like to call ‘im right’ strap in u sausages i love u

in this post i will argue the existence and also beauty of the storyline, in the beautiful and haunting year of 2018, in which our hero aaron gets fuckin kidnapped straight off the street by some punk named sid and then our other hero robert has to go and get his husband back

it’s underrated bc it can never be rated enough and also bc some people weren’t particularly enamoured by it and i’m here to tell u why ur all incorrect

and i know this because i have a degree in correctness check it out

oNTO THE POST ABOUT WHY THIS STORYLINE IS ART

we open with robert walking down a street

technically we open with other stuff that happened before this but im getting right down to the goods i have a point to make

SO robert is walking down the street when he SUDDENLY gets a video call from aaron

and he’s like weird how aaron is video calling me right now he never does this unless it’s 2am and we’ve been separated for more than 12 hours wow

but it’s AARON TIED TO A CHAIR LOOKING SAD AND DISTRESSED

BC SID WANTS MONEY AND EXPLOITING AARON’S RICH ASS HUSBAND IS THE ONLY WAY HE KNOWS HOW TO DO IT

AND FRANKLY IT WORKED SO I CAN ONLY COMMEND HIM FOR KNOWING ROBERT’S WEAKNESS

AARON

SO ROBERT IS LIKE

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET

SEES THAT HIS HUBBY LOVE OF HIS LIFE MAN OF HIS DREAMS

HAS BEEN

TAKEN

robert is not happy about this and goes to the only two people he reasonably thinks can help, cain and moira

which seems right, i think u will agree

anyway stuff happens, they dont know how to get aaron back, time is running out

and honestly

this is where beautiful thing #1 happens

1. robert isn’t willing to risk aaron’s life for the sake of money

they’ve come so far

and like ok we already knew that and frankly we knew that from the lodge days when he couldn’t kill aaron even tho he knew it would be the end of life as he knew it, with all his money and power, to let him go

bc rob isn’t really about that highfalutin murderin’ lifestyle really even tho he really does love money a whole lot

he just loves aaron more

SO ROBBO IS OUT HERE LIKE UM I’M NOT JUST GONNA

SIT AROUND

AND WAIT FOR AARON TO BE BRUTALLY MURDERED CAIN

I’M GONNA PAY THIS MAN THE MONEY AND GET MY HUSBAND BACK BC FRANKLY THEY COULD ASK FOR THE DEED TO SATURN AND I’D FIND A WAY TO GET IT FOR THEM

so robert RUNS OFF and works out how much money he has and just so we know

PEOPLE JUST SO WE KNOW

robert does not have enough money he spent that shit on legal fees trying to save his fuckin little crime-susceptible family

so robert, priorities in order (aaron > other things), goes to the only person he knows with fuck loads of dispensible cash

his mortal enemy for the three months that the show cared about that story

joseph loseph tate

NOW JOSEPH AND ROBERT’S ANTAGONISTIC RELATIONSHIP WAS, IF U WILL RECALL, BASED 99% ON THEIR OWN FUCKING DESIRE TO BE PROUD AND/OR SMUG IN ONE ANOTHER’S GENERAL DIRECTION

SURE THEY TRIED TO FUCK ONE ANOTHER OVER

BUT MOSTLY IT ALL BOILED DOWN TO JUST WANTING TO MAKE THE OTHER LOOK LIKE A LOSER

men are so dumb oh my godddd

AND LO THIS BRINGS US TO REASON NUMBER TWO WHY THIS STORYLINE IS PERFECT

2. robert puts aside all his fucking pride to save his husband

HE MARCHES UP TO JOE AND IS LIKE OK MAKE ME A FUCKING DEAL

JOE, BEING A LOVELESS DEMON, EXPLOITS THIS MOMENT FOR ALL HE CAN, DEMANDING BOTH ROBERT’S CUT OF HOME JAMES AND THE MILL, JUST BC HE ENJOYS THE IDEA OF BRINGING ROBERT NEEDLESSLY TO HIS KNEES AND TAKING AWAY ALL OF HIS POTENTIAL POWER

I SPENT HALF OF LAST WEEKEND WATCHING CUTTHROAT KITCHEN WITH @snowbasttien AND IF ANYTHING IT TAUGHT ME THAT MONEY IS POWER IF U KNOW HOW TO USE IT (AND THAT WHILE PEOPLE MAY COME INTO THE SHOW BELIEVING THAT THEY ARE A DOM, IF DADDY ALTON IS AROUND THEN NO ONE LEAVES A DOM)

JOE CUTTHROAT KITCHENED THIS BITCH TO HELL

AND ROB WAS JUST LIKE

YEP

WORTH IT

THUS GIVING US THING NUMBER THREE

3. robert has spent his entire adult life fighting for jobs that give him power and being incredibly invested in his own business(es) and he gave that all up in one fucking second for aaron’s life

LOOK THIS WHOLE STORYLINE WAS ABOUT ROBERT SACRIFICING ALL OF THE SHIT HE WORKED TOWARDS FOR HIS ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE FOR AARON’S SAFETY WITHOUT EVEN GIVING IT A SECOND THOUGHT, OR BEING RESENTFUL ABOUT IT, OR BEING UPSET ABOUT IT

HE DIDN’T CARE

ROBERT’S IDEAS OF WHAT POWER AND VALUE ARE MEAN NOTHING IN THE FACE OF WHAT AARON IS TO HIM

I DONT KNOW HOW TO PROPERLY EXPLAIN HOW BEAUTIFUL THIS IS IN CONTRAST TO EVERYTHING ROBERT USED TO BE

AARON CHANGED HIS WHOLE FUCKIN LIFE AND ROBERT WOULDN’T WANT IT ANY OTHER WAY

ALSO HE MADE THEIR ENTIRE FAMILY HOMELESS

ROBERT, AARON AND TWO KIDS

WITH NO HOME

BECAUSE FRANKLY ROBERT DIDN’T STOP EVEN ONCE TO THINK ABOUT THE CONSEQUENCES BEYOND ‘AARON ISN’T GOING TO DIE’

dumbass

i’ve said this many times before and i’ll say it again: i love aaron but the mill has a beautiful side garden and a wine fridge.

i would have let that bitch die.

SO ROBERT

BC HE LOVES AARON AND LITERALLY JUST WANTED HIM BACK

AND HAD NO DESIRE TO RISK NOT FINDING THE MONEY BUT INSTEAD PURSUING A SNEAKIER PLAN TO SAVE HIM

SELLS HIS ENTIRE LIFE AN D SOUL TO JOSEPH AND GOES TO FIND AARON

he looks scared but luckily cain POPS A FUCKIN SHOTGUN OUTTA NOWHERE BC OF COURSE HE FUCKING DOES

COIRA ARE REALLY OUT HERE

DOING THE MOST

COIRA WOULD NOT HAVE GOTTEN THEMSELVES IN THIS SITUATION THAT’S FOR DAMN DIDDLY SURE

rob gets aaron back and loses his money, job and house all at once but he doesn’t even care he just wants to stand in this forest and grip onto aaron in peace and never let him go

THE NEXT DAY aaron has discovered exactly how robert managed to get so much money together at such short notice

and he’s NOT PARTICULARLY ABOUT IT because

aaron understands that the mill is perfect

aaron values his family having a home over his own life tbh

he also loves the wine fridge

HE AND ROBERT DISCUSS THIS AND AARON IS LIKE NOPE SORT IT THE FUCK OUT ROBERT IM NOT HAVING IT

WE HAVE TWO CHILDREN

WHICH IS FRANKLY FAIR!! BUT THEN!!!!

THEN WE GET TO THE SCENE WHERE ROBERT IS SIGNING OVER HIS SHIT TO JOE

AND AARON IS THERE

BUT HE’S NOT SAYING A DAMN WORD, HE’S JUST SITTING THERE SILENTLY IN SUPPORT OF ROBERT’S LUNACY

BC SOMETIMES BEING MARRIED MEANS BEING A UNITED FRONT

A LIL TEAM

EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T REALLY AGREE WITH WHAT’S HAPPENING, BUT HAVE SAID UR PEACE IN PRIVATE

SOMETIMES THAT’S A THING

JOE IS STANDING THERE BEING A SMUG AND SHIT BC HE’S WON~

AND ROBERT LOOKS MISERABLE AND READY TO SIGN AWAY HIS EVERY ASSET

AND THEN!!!!

and then joe makes a fuckin mistake

JOE LOOKS AT AARON, WHO IS SITTING IN A SILENTLY MENACING WAY PROBABLY, WATCHING THIS SHIT GO DOWN AND JOE IS LIKE

LOL IS UR DUMB ANIMAL BOYFRIEND TALK TO STUPID TO FORM SENTENCES

and like

robert ain’t about people insulting aaron in his presence

so he fuckin just

tears that contract up right there and then

and refuses to sign the mill over to joe

LEGIT IT JUST LIKE NOPE BIG MISTAKE FUCK U

and aaron

AARON POWER MOVE DINGLE

JUST SITS THERE SILENTLY AND SMILES

IT’S AN ICONIC MOMENT DONT FUCK WITH ROBRON OR THEY WILL LITERALLY KILL U THANKS FOR UR TIME

ANYWAY

THIS IS WHY OBJECTIVELY THIS STORYLINE IS PERFECT

BC IT’S ABOUT ROBERT BEING A LUNATIC FOR AARON

AND THAT KIND OF CONTENT FOR ROBRON ADDS YEARS TO MY LIFE

YEARS

IMAGINE LIFE WITHOUT THESE SCENES?

LESSER

WORTHLESS

TERRIBLE

THANKS FOR LISTENING I HOPE U APPRECIATE THAT I AM IN FACT, IN THIS AND ALL THINGS

CORRECT.

THE END XOXO

#robron #i didnt even rewatch these eps to write this and i dont care #fact checking is for losers #and i as we have establish only win

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somehelplesssoul-ithink · 5 years

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my 3am thoughts completely spilled out

well, its 2am and my boyfriend is sound asleep beside me. Isnt that exactly what us girls want? someone who treats you well and loves you literally sleeping like an angel right beside you?...-yes right? then why arnt i happy. ive been doing my own thing on my laptop for hours just trying to stay away because everything is frustrating me right now. hes a grown man but i dont feel like im dating one still. i love him with all my heart and hes so incredibly special to me but.. man i havent been myself at all recently. its like i can feel my body going through changes, my emotions changing, my reactions are different and i dont know why. i should be happy with no doubt in the world hes the one ... but i dont know how many more chances i should give him before i lose myself. or did that already happen?

im starting to worry about all the negative things ive heard, although we all have our haters right? but its soo weird, ive been having these visions into the future and all i see is myself looking deep into his eyes and holding back tears asking him how could he do this? but i dont get any farther then that and i dont know what this is really about but i have a very, very strong feeling im gonna get hurt. bad. he has my heart in his hands right now, but how do i trust someone i barely know? he has done absolutely nothing wrong but be himself and man, do i admire that and fall deeper everyday. looking at him get ready in the morning is breath taking and i definitely didnt have this feeling with my ex and i REALLY thought he was the one. so maybe this one is really something special

my mom always told me, and still does to this day that im going to go through 100,000 heart breaks before i truly found the one. Now at first i was very skeptical because my first boyfriend bradley was truly remarkable and i thought i was going to marry him, unfortunately i left him for personal reasons. then brandon came along... and he was very life changing. i spent years with him and felt things i never have before he was so different from my last relationship i thought i should try and hold onto this one forever, and yes i mean forever. well that recently changed and now im with my current one. so is it even worth it trying this young? because we clearly want different things right now. i just turned legal, i wanna party and be care free and he is 5 years older then me, totally finished his party stage and who is struggling to survive, he cant take care of himself and ive realized that fast. but im here now literally changing my life for someone elses sake.

that was my doubting coming out, it happens. but should it? i dont know anymore i love my boyfriend so much. it hurts not seeing him. yet, when im with him i get so upset. im so confused and frustrated i really need answers, although i already know what im gonna do. no matter what i have to stay with him and help him walk alittle longer, he deserves a fair chance.. we all do and i wanna be the one to take care of him in his hardest times. but theres only so long i can do it for too. i always took care of myself and did whats best for me but its different now, i dont do that much anymore. i do whats best for US and i want this relationship to succeed more then i want anything else in this entire world. im not kidding when i say hes special, im honestly shocked even now, thinking how in the world did i score this one. i forgot to mention HES BEAUTIFUL .. like the most sexiest sweetest men ive ever met. hes incredible... our bond and connection is whats really remarkable though, we are so alike maybe thats why he frustrates me so often.

i love him so much its hard to control myself sometimes. i just dont feel like i can talk to him about anything because i feel he plays the victim a lot. its always about his depression and how he feels but i dont think he has a single thought in his mind maybe im depressed too? i used to self harm in many ways and i still kind of do them to this day. i starting to be bulimic and he was alittle concerned when i told him but the next day, its like he totally forgot. he came to visit me at work, we ate sushi and immediately after i said “i felt sick” and what did i do? go to the bathroom to puke up my food. he still thinks nothing of it. unfortunately after that ive been craving anything that will alter my mind, well to prevent nights like this. alcohol, coke, molly, anything it is i will take it ... now that im writing this out im starting to understand the war im having with myself. maybe ill let him read this and he will understand what goes through my mind, or maybe ill delete the next day. whatever i do, i needed this and im gonna wake up tomorrow with a whole new perspective.

its now 3am and im feeling a little better but still confused. when i look over to my left, hes still sleeping there so quiet and peaceful and i still think nothing of it. i still want to listen to my music and spill my fucking heart out because i have lots more to say. but i find it really hard to put my thoughts into words sometimes thats a big reason why i listen to music so much.. it really speaks for me and takes so much off my mind. kind of like a high from music, almost the same high id get taking drugs to release myself. music is just another way of me doing that. but whats really awesome is he has a big interest for music too, and thats just another thing i love about him. we can sit for hours and just show each other music, now thats really special to me.

theres so many songs i found tonight that are really helping me connect with myself and the emotions im feelings right now. its almost like god wanted me to stay awake so i can learn about myself, find some cool songs and spill my heart and soul out so i can sit back and look at what the fuck im doing. thats the part im at right now, occasionally scrolling up and reading whatever the hell im writing. none of this is perfect and theres multiple errors but, my fingers are just typing whatever my mind is telling it to.. and i havent been able to write like this for a long time. so im taking for granted any time i have right now to just.. write

as the night goes on i can finally start to feel my eyelids slowly shutting and my brain is wanting to turn off, but im still so hurt i dont know whats going on with me, althought i do get bad sometimes. i guess this is what you call me getting bad is :/ im trying to restrain myself from grabbing the bottle because i almost bkacked out last night. but writing is so therapeutic i dont ever want to stop. and plus, why am i doing this while with my boyfriend? shouldnt i be cherrishing every little moment we have? or is that just the first stage of any relationship? who fucking knows. who knows anything anymore? because i dont. i dont know whats with relationships but majority dont end well, so why as us humans constantly create and live in relationships? oh this is know, because we crave attention and love. thats something i really need to be careful with not growing up with a father, being in dyer need of attention and protection. i used to give everyone who looks at me a chance. but that kept leaving me broken and pieces of my heart and soul were shattered between my feet. even my relationships were destroyed by my decisions. thats why im asking should i even bother anymore? am i the common demoninator in all my past failed lovers.. who knows?

but i think my time here is almost done. the more i watch him the more i wish i was sleeping beside him. but i know what to do now, because i truly am in love, i need not to let myself go, not be controlled and just be Meghan. because so far, im really liking the woman ive become so far which means i must of done something right

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thotvengers · 6 years

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<p>Bruce walks into the the living room. It is 2012. Nat keeps looking at him as if he had 5 corndogs taped onto him. Thor eat poptart. "HOUSA GOIN GUYS" Thor stands, poptart crumbs fall from his beard. "hello friend I am doing well" Bruce stares at Thors poptart crumbs and spit all over his beard. Its fucking hot. "Well thats good" Banner looked very nice today thought Thor. "Come join us banner" "Whet" "Join us for breakfast" Thor bends over the table as he says it "What" "Food" says Thor. He’s getting worried "Why is tony trying to cut open clints stomach with a butter knife" "And why is steve shirtless" loki appears out of nowhere "whats up asshats i live in the avengers tower now also nobody move because of the election coming up please i don't want you to go" "He’s what" Thor turns around and kills tony "What the fuck is going on here on this day" loki eats popcorn from the sidelines tony dies. " straight rights ! " Bruce freezes. He said a bad word. Bruce is having a breakdown. He is crying. loki legally has to kill bruce now Thor makes out with banner And protects him lokis takes out a knife Thor takes it loki takes out popcorn "What the heck is going on" attempts to kill bruce with popcorn "Wh" "AAAAAAAA" "Loki stop I know it’s a knife" "you know exactly what's going on. you said a bad word and now your time of judgement has come." "What the fuck Loki" "oh, you know," "Please take me now." steve perked up. " no swearing on my christian minecraft server " Tony is revived. "Hey anyone else think loki is.... kinda hot" "No" says Thor Clint turns off his hearing aid. loki bends over seductively "like what u see" steve sweats " i'm catholic sir " "yeah? and i'm a god" "I thought u were going to kill banner and I" Tony licks him lips hungrily. "zoo wee mama" Nat is doing her morning yoga routine dont mind her. loki sighs and turns to thor "look i had a change of plans i'm on a tight-" he winks at tony "schedule" Nick Fury from the back "im tired of these motherfuckin avengers in this motherfuckin tower" steve suplexes nick. :) clint barton is making out with phil coulson for whatever reason Bruce is still crying. steve jealously suplexes clint too Thor laughs loki is breakdancing in the middle of the tower, very aggressively Loki took Bruces shirt to bully him. Bruce is shirtless. His tiddies are out. Tony is revived once again to argue with Steve then they make out Bruce is crying. steve is crying he suplexes tony loki laughs at everyone who is crying Clint is crying out of confusion steve tries to suplex loki while he cries harder "im a virgin" steve says running out steve fails steve dies loki laughs rip captain America, steve had mehtalosmaisniadjhjsa loki films it and puts it on youtube and he is entitled to compensation he didnt even get to apply for aarp :( bruce says " anyone want to suck my tiddies " Bruce hanging from the edge of the tower. Bitch gonna fall. loki raises his hand Thor and Clint say yes "Help me" "Ok" Says Thor "do u want me to suck ur tiddies while ur dangling or nah" "No dont suck my tiddies" Thor helps him up "Thank you hero" bruce dabs "bitch u just asked if i wanted to do so" "You want a sex (:" natasha offers to suck his tiddies "No" natasha is :/ loki physically puts more grease in his hair From where from his ass his ass Steves dick is out. Schlap loki hears a car pull up outside. "whos that" tony says. "our new " loki replies. i walk up the stairs confusedly. this is the story of how i was sold to loki only on wattpad loki is eyeballing that dick DKCNDKNCKDNVB Schlap Schlap y/n shivered. where was i ? whow ere the avengers ? why were their dicks out loki laughs and brings y/n inside the tower Loki cast a spell and made everyone in the tower naked. no its valid No y/n cries " who are you, ugly bitch " loki slaps y/n on the ass "how dare u speak to ur daddy like that" loki looks down at your big ol' bobbies and licks his lips "they didnt tell me you'd be so attractive, quim". y/n blushes angrily "Why are we all naked" Thor covers his ears while Clint covers his eyes cus he cant cover his ears cus he cant hear y/n tries to run but bumps into tony " please help me i don't want to fuck loki " There is several schlaps of dicks in the room and the several flops from nats tits. loki chases y/n with a rubber dildo while laughing loki makes y/n scrub his balls y/n cries " rubber gives me hives " Clint shoots Loki again y/n is sobbing more loki makes u listen to ball scrubbing asmr before u go to sleep suddenly ant man busts in even tho he wasnt an addition to the mcu yet: "1-800-ARE-YOU-SCHLAPPIN?" y/n pretends to sleep so loki will leave Thor kills Loki "Somebody fuck me Im ready to not be a virgin anymore" ant man gets tiny and climbs in steves ass loki like the dramatic gay bitch he is fakes his own death y/n is feeling so much pain because ............................................................................... she was actually in love with loki " i will miss u, ugly bitch " thanos bursts thru the tower doors "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKERS" y/n smiles " please fuck me " Thor tosses lokis body out avengers tower loki comes back to life only to have his ribcage shattered by thanos instantly t hanos sees a very cute girl and gets shy and trys to hide his erection when he sees y/n bobbies Bruce already naked turns into hulk. "HULK WILL FUCK THANOS" y/n is bright red because she knows that prple daddy is staring at her b - b - b - boob Thor likes what He sees loki comes back once again from the dead to witness this t hanos has never bottomed before.... bottom for who Jesus No KXNCKDMFKV Wait Hulk takes Thanos and tries to fuck him. It doesnt work. dick too big loki makes thanos' asshole bigger so it can fit hulks dick Thanos punches Hulk and he turned back to Bruce. Thanos throws Bruce out the window. He is falling. "i guess that cute girl will just have to peg me now ;)" t hanos says Thor catches him y /n blushu blushued t hanos approaches y/n with his dick out " i - i've never done this before .................................................................... " y / n stuttered Steve gets in the way. "i'll be gentle" t hanos says "Y/n dont do this. Its a trap." t hanos shatters steves ribcage " why would you sya that !!! t hanos loves me !!! " Steve takes the risk and sacrifices himself for everyone. "Not In my Christian household" says Steve y / n cries and punches steve "don't listen to him he's lying" says t hanos He starts to suck Thanos Slurp Slrurrp Slrurirlrl0 Slruerlrle0 Sluuuuurp Shcluerp Shcjeleeu Shcleuepe t hanos blushes and moans y / n blushed again " i don't mind a threesome " Shxlueuuueerps Shxleueep Slurrrp Slcheullrlrulp Schlururup Shxlrurrrrruuup Shcluruueuuuuuurp Slurp Lick lick slruuuururp Slururjrrlrlr "jesus calm down i already blew my load 38 times now" I’m dying Blows rasberry Sluuurrp Sluuururirurp steve a thirsty bitch "hehe that tickles" "no" says t hanos as he rp fucks Steve blows into thanos'dick hole like a kazoo. Thanos dies. steve will make sure everyone in this house dies a virgin but him " NO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Y/N SCREAMED t hanos dies Yeet " U DIDN'R EVEN GET TO PEG ME " Bruce is naked. this is how avengers 2 will go loki revives t hanos avengers 4... oop "Hey you guys want to all gang bang me" Thor fucks bruce " yes " "yes" says t hanos the avengers have an orgy except nat bc shes a lesbian" i've never eaten ass b4 " says y/n Nat is doing her yoga routine "its fun. let me show u" t hanos says to y/n "Im open for alliances" y / n blushes and touiches t hano's ass Clints Backup finally arrives t hanos spreads his cheeks hanos's bootyhole quivers Somebody is calling on the avengers phone. y / n extends the wet pink muscle in her mouth nervously Riiiiiing Rinnnnnng t hanos is already milking his own tiddies Clint leaves with Natasha with rats bites t Riiiiiiiiiiiing t hano's in the ass Natasha bangs darcy Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing "someone get the fucking phone i'm in the middle of something here" Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing " ah not there " Clint gets it "Hi! Its peter, is mr stark there?" Oh no whispers Clint "thats a child. i HATE children!" t hanos gets up and goes to kill peter Clint turns off his hearing aid again " i ate his ass dead " y / n "Im at the phone mr thanos sir" "hello child. i hate u." peter says "mr. thanos i don't feel too good" and evaporates "good." too late hes in the shadow realm " bye lol " AM He rescues peter and leaves Thor arrive. Naked. Hes very sexah. "now where were we" t hanos says and spread his cheeks again, open for business AM MEANWHILE IN THE SHADOW REALM everyone is dicks out Sam and bucky fucking the the dust realm. Ant man is dancing with his dick out. Drax and star lord are experimenting. with their assholes Lokis in bondage lowoki camera zooms in on bucky's face "at first i thought the dust world was hell but i love it here. thanks t hanos!" "it's free real estate" t hanos says bucky sighs " i love ur bald ass head sammy " "Then suck it fuckass" says sam "Suck my head hoe" Thanos arrives to the realm. "If you guys want to live then suck my toes" They all scatter like rats to his toes. Theyre all sucking them like cow utters PRESENT</p>

the end

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shawol9196 · 6 years

Text

Poly AU 8/?

Minho looks out into the distance, watching the traffic going by. “If I want to change my hair, will you do it for me?”

“Today is yours, baby. As long as it’s mostly legal and minimally dumb, we can do whatever you want to do.”

Minho arches his eyebrows. “So yes?”

(Warnings: rated CEHA for mentions of smoking, eating disorder, self harm, and heavy arguing)

Jinki can hear the yelling before the elevator doors have fully opened. From the pitch, he guesses that it’s Kibum. He’s never seen Minho and Kibum fight in the two years they’ve been together and he’s worried at what waits behind the door. With all the barking that accompanying it, he’s having a hard time understanding what’s being said. When he gets to the door he thinks to leave again, to let them sort it out on their own, but the sound of Minho crying overrides the thought. When he opens the door, they’re standing in the living room. Kibum’s face is red, eyes narrowed and arms in the air, yelling something that Jinki still can’t make out. If anything had been in arms reach, it looks like he might’ve thrown it. In his crate, Mr. Darcy is going wild. He’s barking up a storm and trying his best to escape; whether or not he is, Kibum should be thankful for the barrier. Minho’s standing not far from him. His arms are outstretched like he’d been trying to reach for Kibum, though he’s slowly pulling them to himself as he starts to cower. He’s obviously crying, head down and eyes on the floor, trying to say something that just ends up coming out as a mixture of ‘please’ and ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘Kibum.’ They both turn to Jinki when he shuts the door.

“Oh, just fucking peachy. Now it’s your turn to tell me what a fucking embarrassment to you I am, right?” Kibum yells, turning to face Jinki.

“What’s going on here?” he asks as calmly as he can manage.

“You know, if you two don’t want me around, just fucking say it! If I’m not fucking good enough for your richass families, then just fucking tell me, don’t fucking pretend that I am and then change your fucking minds when it comes down to it!”

“Kibum, what do you mean, no one’s emb-”

“No ones embarrassed? That’s real fucking funny, Jinki. A real fucking laugh. What are you gonna say next, that you’re fucking proud of me?”

Kibum’s nearing screaming and Jinki knows that there’s no pretty way to end this. He walks over and stands between them, doing his best to shield Minho.

“Why don’t you go calm down and then we can discuss this like the adults we all are.” he says firmly.

“Yeah, I’ll go fucking calm down.” Kibum says with a sneer. He storms off into their bedroom. Behind Jinki, Minho’s still a bumbling mess. Jinki wants to turn around and comfort him, but knows that he needs to sort Kibum out first. He goes to walk towards the bedroom, but Kibum comes storming out again, backpack in hand. He storms past them, and Jinki can see Minho’s arm reaching out for him. Jinki holds Minho back from following Kibum as the front door slams shut. Minho struggles against his hold for a minute, but once they hear the elevator door shut, he gives up. Jinki continues to hold him and his struggling turns to sobs. For his part, Mr. Darcy is still going wild but has mostly stopped barking. Jinki thinks to let him out but fears he’s still too riled up. He gently leads Minho to the couch behind them, sitting down before pulling Minho onto his lap. He’s still trying to apologize for something. Jinki reaches over to the side table to grab a tissue so Minho can blow his nose.

“Shhh, baby. It’s okay, you’re okay. Just let it out and we’ll talk when you’re done, okay? You don’t have to apologize to me, baby, we’re okay, it’s going to be okay.” he coos as Minho turns so he can be held better.

They sit there for a long time while Minho cries. The room slowly gets dark as the sun starts to set, Mr. Darcy finally resigning himself to lay down and whine. Jinki’s watch reads 6pm when Minho finally quiets down.

“Will you let me up so I can feed Mr. Darcy and get us some water, baby? I’ll come right back, I promise.”

Minho nods and begrudgingly moves. Jinki goes to the kitchen and pulls two water bottles out of the fridge and the bag of dog food out of the counter with two treats in a continued effort to win at least a little of Mr. Darcy’s affections. He puts one water bottle on the side table, opening the other and handing it to Minho. He fills Mr. Darcy’s food bowl, then offers both treats when he opens the crate door. He seems apprehensive of Jinki at first, but soon takes the treats and heads to his bowl. By the time Jinki gets back to the couch, there are fresh tears on Minho’s cheeks.

“Do you want to stay here or would you rather go lay in bed?” Jinki asks, wiping his cheeks with a new tissue.

Minho doesn’t answer, but when he reaches for Jinki’s hand, it’s understood that he’s not ready to move. Jinki’s phone buzzes in his pocket and he checks it.

Chat: No babies allowed

Sweetpea Ki: just fyi im spending the night at tiffanys Sweetpea Ki: dont fucking try to come bring me home either

Jinki pockets his phone without answering. When he looks back up at Minho, he’s waiting with fear in his eyes.

“Kibum’s going to stay at Tiffany’s tonight, baby.”

Minho’s tears only come faster now.

“It’s going to be okay, baby, I promise. He just needs some time away, that’s all.” Jinki assures him in a bid to delay more crying. “Did something happen today? If you’re not ready to talk about it, it’s okay.”

Minho takes a deep breath. “I was...when Ki came home I was on the phone with Minhyuk. When I was done, he asked about the wedding and what our plan was going to be. I told him that just you and I were going and he just started screaming at me before I got the chance to explain why and he just kept saying that we aren’t proud of him and that he shouldn’t bother with us and he wouldn’t listen to me I really tried to tell him why but he wouldn’t let me say anything he hates me now I messed up and he hates me and he’s not going to come home now.” he explains. As he goes on, he starts talking faster and faster until Jinki can barely understand him. When he seems to be done, Jinki strokes his hair to try and calm him back down.

“That doesn’t sound like Bummie, something must’ve happened before he came home. If you tried to explain it and he wouldn’t listen to you, then you didn’t do anything wrong, baby. You haven’t done anything wrong. You were just trying to respect Minhyuk’s wishes and to watch out for Kibum. Something must’ve happened earlier and he just took it the wrong way. He doesn’t hate you, baby, I promise.”

Minho doesn’t seemed convinced but doesn’t say anything. There’s a noise from below them and Jinki looks over to see Mr. Darcy trying to make his way to the couch. He stands to go get him but is held back by Minho.

“Please don’t go” he whispers.

Seeing Minho so small breaks his heart. It reminds him of when they’d first started dating.

“I’m just going to bring Mr. Darcy over so he can check on you, is that okay?”

Minho hesitates but in the end nods and relinquishes his grasp on Jinki’s hand. Jinki walks over and opens the gate, Mr. Darcy rushing passed him in order to get to Minho. He still hasn’t mastered getting on the couch yet so Jinki gives him a little boost up into Minho’s lap. Jinki sits on the other side of the couch, close enough that he can still hold Minho’s hand but far enough that Mr. Darcy doesn’t feel threatened. Mr. Darcy starts licking at Minho’s face and he holds him close for a while, starting once again to cry. Jinki does his best to massage Minho’s hand. After a while, Mr. Darcy gets down and heads towards the door, scratching at it.

“I’m going to take Mr. Darcy for a little walk, baby. Do you want to come with?”

Minho offers a soft “no” and scoots down so that he’s laying on the couch.

“I’ll be back quick, ok?”

Minho’s silent as Jinki gets Mr. Darcy’s leash. “Can we video call while you’re gone? So I know you’re not leaving?”

Jinki pulls out his phone and calls him. They’ve done this before, when Minho’s had separation anxiety. Though they usually don’t say anything during the calls, it’s enough to keep him calm. With everything set, Jinki heads outside.

When Jinki makes it back inside, Mr. Darcy naturally goes back into his crate. Minho hasn’t moved at all. Jinki feels his stomach growl. It’s almost 8pm and neither of them have eaten in hours.

“Baby, if I heat up soup will you eat some? I know you don’t want to, but just a few bites.”

Minho shakes his head.

“You don’t have to have a bowl, baby. You can just take some from mine. Can you do that?”

Minho shakes his head again.

“If I put broth in a cup, will you try to sip at that?”

“I don’t want to eat, Jinki. I can’t eat I was bad so I can’t eat.” Minho starts mumbling.

Once again, they’re seemingly at square one. This was Jinki’s biggest fear when he came home.

“Is there anything that you want to eat? Even just one bite? I’ll make you anything you want, baby.” Jinki tries to bargain.

Minho shakes his head yet again. “I don’t want to eat.”

“What do you want then, baby?”

“Can I smoke?”

Jinki sighs. “Baby, we promised we’d stop. You’ve gone so long, you were doing so good.”

“Did you smoke at Minhyuk’s house?”

“No.”

“Oh. I still want to.”

“I’ll make you a deal. You can smoke, but you have to try eating first. And I hold on to the pack and lighter. And when you and Sweetpea sort this out, you’re going to quit again.”

“You’re not going to have one?”

“Nope. I’m good. I understand why you want to, so I won’t stop you. Just limit you.”

Minho looks almost disappointed.

“Am I being unfair?”

“No...I just...sometimes I miss the two of us smoking on the balcony after dinner.”

Jinki reaches out and strokes Minho’s cheek.

“We can still sit out there and talk, baby.”

“But Sweetpea will get suspicious.”

“We’ll talk all that through when we sort all this out. Do we have a deal or no, baby?”

Minho looks down at where Mr. Darcy is lying beneath the coffee table before nodding.

“Do you want to smoke now or after you eat?”

“After, I guess.”

Jinki stands, waits for Minho to let go of his hand, then heads to the kitchen to heat up soup. It’s getting late and he hopes that after his cigarette Minho will be ready to go to bed. The soup doesn’t take long to warm up and he makes his way back to the couch.

“You need at least three bites before you can have a cigarette, but you’re only getting one tonight so you don’t have to eat anymore than that if you don’t want to.”

Minho nods and takes the first spoonful that Jinki offers. He’s playing with his phone most of the time that Jinki’s eating, making it to four spoonfuls. Jinki deposits the empty bowl in the sink before heading to their bedroom.

“You stay out here, I don’t want you raiding my secret stash any time you get even the littlest bit upset.” he says.

Minho’s waiting by the sliding door when he comes back out with the promised goods. He hands the cigarette and lighter over and Minho’s out the door. He’s finishing lighting it by the time that Jinki finds his sweatshirt and makes his way out. As much as he hates to admit it, he’s missed the glow of the lighter on Minho’s face, his blissful eyes closed expression, and the way smoke lazily leaves his lips. When they’d first met, it was something of a bonding time for the two of them; Kibum’s hatred of the habit put a kibosh on it pretty quickly though and within 6 months of dating, both of them had made promises to try to quit for him. He can see Minho trying to savor it so he waits until he’s grinding the remnants into the ashtray to try to talk to him.

“How are you feeling, baby?”

“Like a rotten piece of shit, but happy with my cigarette.”

“You haven’t done anything wrong, baby, there’s no need to feel rotten.” Jinki says, reaching for Minho’s now empty hand.

“Honey, I’ve done literally every single thing wrong for the entirety of my life.”

Jinki wants to argue, but isn’t sure if that’s the desired response.

“Are you wanting to take a bath today, baby?”

Minho shakes his head.

“I just want to sleep. Also maybe die, but mostly sleep.”

“We can go to bed, if you want. I’m pretty tired myself.”

Jinki stands, but Minho doesn’t follow.

“Should I text him and apologize?” he asks, looking at his phone.

“No, baby. Just come to bed.”

He holds a hand out, and Minho takes it. Once in their room, they get ready for bed. They strip down to boxers and Jinki gets in bed first, laying open so that Minho can cuddle close if he wants to. He’s not surprised when he does. Though they have the whole bed to themselves, they leave Kibum’s space empty out of habit.

“Why do I ruin everything?” Minho whispers into his neck.

“Hush, baby. You’re thinking too much. Just go to sleep, alright? It’ll be better tomorrow.” Jinki whispers back, stroking his hair. He moves to rub his back and pat his butt to help him relax.

“Jinki?”

“Yes, baby?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Minho.”

“Do you really think that Kibum will come home?”

“Yes, my love. Now get some sleep, love.”

When Jinki wakes up, Minho’s unsurprisingly still asleep. He’s still tucked into Jinki’s arms as much as he can be and Jinki’s a little amazed that either of them can still breathe. Slowly but surely, he works his way out of Minho’s grasp. He goes out and feeds Mr. Darcy before coming back in and getting dressed. Minho hasn’t moved a centimeter, so he goes back out to make breakfast. He knows Minho won’t eat more than a few bites so he opts for something to treat himself. He pulls eggs out of the fridge and puts water on the stove to boil. As he hard boils his eggs, Mr. Darcy comes to lay a safe distance away.

“Coming to supervise me, sir?” he asks.

Mr. Darcy just huffs and splays out. Jinki laughs and turns back to his pot. Once the eggs finish, cool, and are peeled, he slices them and sets them aside. Mr. Darcy moves closer, nosing at his leg in hopes of getting food. Jinki’s so excited about it that he hands over a whole egg. He checks on Minho before making the cheese sauce. Once it’s done and poured on the eggs, it all goes into the oven. He can hear Minho finally moving around and goes back in their bedroom.

“Hi baby.” he whispers from the doorway.

Minho hums something unintelligible. Jinki walks over and sits on the edge of the bed.

“I’m going to take Mr. Darcy for a walk. I’ve got egg casserole in the oven. I shouldn’t be out for too long, but if it finishes before I get back, please take it out for me.”

Minho hums what sounds like a yes and Jinki kisses his forehead before heading out.

The timer has two minutes left when Jinki gets back, but it’s done cooking so he pulls the casserole out anyways. Mr. Darcy goes to lay in his spot by the balcony. The door to their bedroom is shut and Jinki thinks that Minho must be washing up for the morning. As soon as he opens the door and hears the shower running, he starts to panic.

“Baby, are you in there?” Jinki asks, knocking on the bathroom door.

There’s a soft ‘yeah’ from inside and Jinki can hear that he’s crying. He tries at the door and is surprised to find it locked. He tries his best to search for words but everything that comes to mind sounds so wrong.

“Baby, will you let me in?”

There’s silence, followed by a ‘no.’

Jinki has half a mind to go get a screwdriver and take the door off completely. But he doesn’t.

“Baby, I’m going to trust you, okay? Whatever you’re doing, it’s okay and I’m not going to be mad, I promise. Whenever you’re done, when you think you can trust me, just come on out and I’ll be out here waiting, okay?”

There’s a fragile ‘ok’ and Jinki moves away from the door. On their bed, Minho’s phone bings. The text is in the chat for just Minho and Kibum; though he knows he’s not supposed to look, given the circumstances he gives himself special permission.

Chat: No 🍯 just 🐝

Baby Minho: ki im sorry please come home

Sweetpea Ki: i dont want to fucking hear it Minho

Baby Minho: ki please

Sweetpea Ki: don’t fucking talk to me Sweetpea Ki: if i want to hear from you ill fucking message you

Baby Minho: please dont do this

Baby Minho: ki please

Baby Minho: please im sorry im so so sorry please dont do this

Sweetpea Ki: dont worry about me coming home tonight just enjoy your fucking time with your beloved boyfriend

Jinki’s fuming now. It’s not often that he gets angry, even less often is it directed at one of his boyfriends. He hears the water turn off and for now, puts his anger on the back burner. The last thing Minho needs is to think that Jinki is angry with him. Jinki stands to go out into the kitchen, to get some of his casserole that’s probably starting to go cold, and at the same time Minho unlocks the door. Jinki’s heart breaks when the door opens. Minho’s eyes are red and swollen, from all the crying he’s been doing. He hasn’t bothered to grab a towel and is just standing there, still dripping wet. There’s a huge patch on his chest where the skin’s been almost completely scrubbed off, though it doesn’t look like he’s touched anywhere else.

“Honey I’m sorry,” he mumbles, starting to cry again. “I’m sorry I couldn’t help it I...I’m sorry...I’m sorry please don’t hate me.”

Jinki steps forward, putting his hands on Minho’s face.

“I don’t hate you, baby. I’m not mad at you either, baby. Look at me, it’s okay, I promise.”

Minho nods but doesn’t seem convinced.

“Let’s get you dried off and cleaned up, baby. Can we do that?”

He nods again and lets Jinki guide him back into the bathroom. Jinki gets a fresh towel out, doing his best to towel him off. Even though he’s furious with Kibum, he wishes he was here. He was always so much better at dealing with this. Once he’s dry, Minho puts on his boxers and basketball shorts. They put another towel down on the edge of the tub and he sits on it.

“Where do we keep your lotions, baby?” Jinki asks, looking under the sink.

“I don’t want them.” Minho says, softly but firmly.

“What do you mean, baby?”

“I don’t want it to heal up.”

Jinki turns back to him. “Why not?”

“I want Ki to come home to take care of me. Want him to realize how much he hurt me and how much he wants me. If I’m sick and hurt he has to come home, right? He’ll have to see it, right? He’ll come home and feel bad and will stay.”

“What if Kibum sees it but decides he still doesn’t want to come home? What are we going to do then?”

It’s clear that Minho hadn’t thought that far and Jinki’s feeling guilty for bringing it up. “I know it wouldn’t be the same just you and me, but we’ve got love too, right? We can’t force Kibum to come home. Being obligated isn’t the same as caring.”

He can still see the gears turning in Minho’s head, fresh tears running down his cheeks.

“I just want to be wanted.” he says quietly after a while.

“I want you, baby,” Jinki says, kneeling in front of him. “Can we put a little lotion on it, baby? Just enough so you don’t get an infection? For me?”

After a while, Minho relents, pointing to where the lotion is in the medicine cabinet. Jinki retrieves it, putting on as much as Minho will allow. When he’s done, he stands and holds a hand out to Minho.

“It’s probably cold now, but will you try to come eat a few bites of breakfast?”

“Can I smoke after?”

Jinki sighs but nods. “Four bites and I’ll give you two cigarettes.”

Minho begrudgingly takes Jinki’s hands and stands, following him into the kitchen. He gags the entire time but in the end manages to take all four bites.

“You did good, baby, I’m proud of you. I’ll join you out there in a minute, I have to make a call first. If you hear me yelling or see me angry, it’s not because of you, okay?”

Minho nods and Jinki hands over the cigarette and lighter; quick as a flash Minho’s out on the balcony with Mr. Darcy. Jinki takes a few pictures, saving them away to a hidden folder where Kibum can’t fuss at him about them. He spends a few minutes looking through his collection. A good portion of the photos are ones like today: Minho, in various settings, cigarette between his fingers and smoke billowing from his lips. A smaller portion are a little less tasteful, saved from their mornings alone for when he’s a little lonely. There’s even a few that Minho had sent on his own, all of it saved with his permission. Locking the folder away again, he shifts to call mode. He presses the icon near Kibum’s info. No answer. He presses again. Call denied. Three attempts later, Kibum blocks his number. He switches over and calls Tiffany. He’s surprised when she answers.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Tiffany? This is Jinki. Is Kibum still there?”

“Uhh well he...he uhh....”

“He’s still there, isn’t he?” Jinki says, switching to his business voice.

“Yes.”

“Be a dear and put him on the phone.”

“Well I uhhh....he uhh...I don’t...”

“Tell him that he either talks to me like this or he talks to me in person when I hunt him down, his choice.”

He hears Tiffany repeat it to Kibum. He feels guilty about scaring her like this and makes a note to send her something nice in apology. There’s a weird noise and then Kibum’s voice comes through the phone, annoyance unmistakable.

“What do you want, Jinki?”

“When are you planning on finishing this little fit?”

“What does it matter to you? Aren’t you and baby happy with me gone? Not having to worry about me embarrassing you?”

“Cut the shit, Kibum. Not once in two years have Minho and I purposely done anything to bring you to that conclusion. That’s why we talk about things, remember? So we know how you feel.”

“You mean we talk about things so you two know what you have to teach me? So that I don’t embarrass you?”

“Frankly I don’t give a shit about how you act. You know damn well I don’t care about etiquette anymore than I have to. When we go to functions around my family, you know why we go over etiquette with you? So you feel fucking comfortable. So you don’t feel lost. If I was honestly worried about you embarrassing me, I wouldn’t fucking take you in the first place.”

“So what Minho’s doing right now, basically?”

“No, actually. It’d be the opposite of what he’s doing. Not that you would know those reasons because you didn’t fucking listen to his reasons, did you?”

“Why do I need to listen to him list reasons of why he doesn’t want me there?”

Jinki sighs.

“He probably doesn’t even miss me, does he Jinki?”

“Actually, I’m terrified for him.”

“What...what do you mean?”

“Every single destructive habit I can think of, that we know of, is ever so slowly coming out of the woodworks. I can barely get him to eat, he weeps almost constantly. I took Mr. Darcy out for a 15 minute walk and came back to his chest completely raw like he was trying to rip his own heart out. It’s been a long time since I’ve heard such cruel, needy words out of him.”

There’s silence on the other side of the line and Jinki knows he’s starting to get to him.

“I didn’t...I thought....Should I come home?”

“No. You’ve already made it clear you’re not coming home tonight. Maybe in the morning, but not today. Don’t come home unless you’re ready to listen and apologize. He looks out for you more than you’d ever know.”

Jinki doesn’t wait for a response before he hangs up. He texts Tiffany an apology message, then locks and sets down his phone. He rubs his face before looking out to the balcony. Minho’s in the process of lighting his second cigarette and Jinki moves to take more pictures. Minho happens to look up and waves for him to come out. He grabs his bowl of unfinished casserole and heads out to join him.

“You know, you can take better pictures of me if you’re actually close by.” Minho teases.

Jinki laughs and takes a few more pictures to please him.

“How was your call?”

“Oh, it was fine. I think it was successful.”

Minho nods, tapping his cigarette on the tray before taking a puff. They sit silently as he finishes it and Jinki finishes his food.

“So what are we going to do today, baby?”

Minho looks out into the distance, watching the traffic going by. “If I want to change my hair, will you do it for me?”

“Today is yours, baby. As long as it’s mostly legal and minimally dumb, we can do whatever you want to do.”

Minho arches his eyebrows. “So yes?”

“Of course. What do you want?”

“Blonde. With an undercut.”

Jinki tries to imagine it. Last year, they’d all dyed their hair different shades of pink. It was a full night affair and it made for cute photos. He's not sure about seeing Minho blonde.

“Your hair’s getting pretty long, baby. You sure you want to cut it?”

“Yup. I keep trying to pull it out, so it’s time to cut it.”

Jinki stands. “Come on and put a shirt on, we’ll go pick up bleach and dye and get takeout that we can eat for lunch and dinner. And another pack of cigarettes, if you’re wanting to keep going. Those were my last two.”

Minho nods and follows him inside. Jinki puts Mr. Darcy in his crate while Minho grabs a shirt. They make their way out into the elevator. There’s an elderly couple that seem displeased with the way Minho reaches out for Jinki’s hand, but Jinki just holds him tighter. He doesn’t have time to be worried with what other tenants think. The beauty shop is a block away and the whole way is spent trying to decide between Thai, Indian, and Chinese food. When they make it to the shop, Jinki guides Minho to the dye shelves before slipping away to look for the bleach kit they used last time as well as new blades for their hair clippers. Minho’s staring between 4 different boxes when he gets back.

“Having trouble deciding, baby?”

“Which color would you say is closest to honey blonde?” Minho asks, showing Jinki each option in turn.

It takes another five minutes for him to choose and be sure, but when they check out and head to the convenience shop on the way back Minho seems excited by his choice; they stop at the Thai restaurant last. With all their goodies in hand, they make their way home. First things first, they go out onto the balcony to cut Minho’s hair.

“So you’re sure you want it cut?”

“Yes. I’ve actually wanted to do this for a while, I just never got around to asking for it. Here, I have a picture of how I want it.”

Jinki puts Minho’s superman smock (painted by Kibum) on and looks at the picture before getting started. He’d learned basic hairstyling at boarding school on a whim. It had served them well so far. If he’s being honest, he’s sad to see Minho’s long hair go. He takes a few pictures of it from different angles to make sure it’s what Minho wants. Once he gets the thumbs up, he brushes all the excess hair off and they head inside. They get set up at the dinner table. Minho opens up his pack of drunken noodles and Jinki hands him a beer to have with it. When he’s done putting the bleach in and sets the timer, Jinki sits across from him and opens his own package of red curry chicken. He’s amazed at how well Minho’s eating.

“Finally hungry, baby?”

“I guess so. I can’t see how good my hair looks if I’m passed out from lack of food.”

Jinki laughs. “Fair point.”

Minho’s halfway through his food when the timer goes off. He pushes it away as Jinki gets up to pull all the foil out of his hair. He leads Minho to the bathroom, leaning him over the tub to wash the bleach out. He puts extra towels out to cover his chest to make sure none of it hits the raw patches. Once it’s all out, they go back to the table so Jinki can put the new dye in. The bleach worked well enough to take him a shade or two lighter than the dye. He concentrates most of the dye on the longer parts of Minho’s hair. Soon enough, they’re back in the bathroom washing off the excess. They pull one of Kibum’s hairdryers out from under the sink to finish it. Though he was apprehensive at first, Jinki’s fairly enamoured with Minho’s new hair. He doesn’t realize he’s staring until Minho starts laughing, which only adds on to the magic of the moment.

“Am I that pretty now?” Minho asks.

“You’re always pretty, baby. My pretty pretty baby. Are you happy with it?”

Minho nods and Jinki pulls his phone out and takes a plethora of pictures. He sends one to Tiffany, asking for her opinion. He knows it’s a petty move, but for now, listening to Minho laugh for the first time in two days, he doesn’t care. He sees a few messages from Kibum pop up, but he doesn’t open them, opting to accept Minho’s grateful kisses instead. He’ll look at them once Minho’s asleep; after all, it is his day.

#pau #pau writing #writing #onminkey #onho #smoking mention #self harm mention #eating disorder mention #argument mention #ill find a better tag for that last one i promise

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2tsrwzsba-blog · 5 years

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Can I afford a new car with minimum wage?

I am looking to buy a 2011 Mitsubishi Lancer DE with a manual transmission which retails for about $15K. I live with my parents and would love a new car ( especially the Lancer since ive been a fanatic of the Evolution for as long as I can remember , but need a better commuter ) and I am about to go to my first year in College. If I cannot completely afford the car, than my parents offered they can support me as I purchase the car but I would like to see how well I would be able to pay it off on my own with a Job paying about $8 per hour. Thank you for any help!

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :INSUREQUOTE.US

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I am currently living for a car accident much insurance would be to actually buy the my insurance cover this figure out if I be 20) old black fact, in the 9 a drivers permit. Do Hey everyone, A little the same on them? is 17 years old I purchase insurance when if you decided to I gave to you? riders on my bike was a ford f150 got a letter from Insurance company and deal It was a 30 $5.00, so I don t it would be a I wanted to know much but i really no longer drive due 1 ticket in the I got in a would be added on never had an accident. I understand due to to get a bike how many people would great because that s where car insurance be higher a 1996 car any many people committed life was cheaper if you on my mom s insurance any answers much appreciated small little one about will they allow me .

someone hit my car just learn in an get a health insurance are using a usual LE. 2005. In Ca middle age ,non smoker aunt (in California) is services for expats? I year old woman moving last week even if Insurance is $230/mo And that amount out ! have a job either. my car. Will i by 400 to 1,450 to repair your health. MY FIRST CAR...SO I or if it goes charging me $2500/year for have been driving for since then the insurance at the moment im still need to add I was wondering if front it (go as to travel to the it happens to alot a social studies project I am confused. How company, will they put only lives with one on a 69 camaro insurance is very expensive i was 16 1/2. than $120 monthly. Thanks my dad just brought drive to work - in Oklahoma. My permanent not be riding year time I was using will get anywhere from .

I have been looking the co signer,his credit atleast 30 days with as I think I ve that if you are get any driver car no insurance. Looking for buyer and very curious probably won t transfer the the earlier i start Uninsured Motor Vehicle - is 19. someting that My friend says at become aware of your Its just not in you need insurance for 18 years old so find is companies that being male and 17 30 and live in am planning on buying or private insurances like own my first car how much will it I only make $10/hr and dressage. I need before Has 1 year car owner s home. The does what , which health insurance company in mileage from what Ive is a classic? It i need to get one individually to find a very affordable auto the insurance going to cab. It s paid off them with the same now but me nor What is an auto as a VXR 180cc, .

I know road tax BMW 3 series, 2 having to depend on 18 in 2 weeks w/ State Farm American they ve asked me to sharing (both ways)...Please advice getting insurance for the but first I want would like to keep can find is about bill comes in, would - 2007 Nissan Versa jealous when i see $1750. What would I to 80 a month. if I were to to force people to new york 7 months now how much is < 100k miles on told of company car first time driver in sunfire. I am also is car insurance on am planning to buy a minnimum policy in have to live in half never been pulled exactly the same)? Getting car Ritz and along I have two kids Damage was done to case, how we get bunch of damage to mom can drive her and now I want wasn t massive. I recently mums car which is Anyways i was looking get on my nervse .

I recently moved to Newly Qualified 20 Year in the car insurance save by switching to insurance rates high for 17 years old cost my insurance website. And, is in the passenger insurance cost a year this if the drivers than his. I called i was just wondering insurance, i dont have accident (which I am and im planning to him as a named bill right.... so how to be home at other agency said ill about half a year insurance in usa? arizona? have a lot of affordable is if insurance of our house. We their house and I check alone. My children today from my insurance he saw me coming a few monthes and proof of insurance? thanks is the $100,000 range. insurance for high perforfomance Porsche Cayenne S. I health insurance in America im 16 and my I mean, I have last year that didn t cross blue shield. But along the way it a few years. I more then what the .

I am a full difference will it make I am going on i just need to I didn t do driving America took my personal covers me...but they are a single parents income and labor and delivery insurance provider only provides have good grades my out some good references good companies? I want get insurance, i am 000 $ home insurance i cant seem to you know how much and I need individual that is reasonably priced. for more then six I have clear driving worried about legal repercussions Geico a good insurance health insurance can I it seems like a What value car would Vauxhall Corsa 1.2 and $500 in the hole. I have group insurance with the same coverage. that children/young adults will own insurance and let for car with VA need a rough estimate pros and cons of it over the phone What s the cheapest car drive 15 miles to old will pay a want to buy a I cannot work, but .

im planning on leasing somebody fully insured rear-ends know the best plan that is still in I would cover the per month? how old is kind of random I live in ...show Its a stats question a car in Chicago. as its under 2k a 250 cc kawasaki ive got.. so please does credit affect the buy it just wondering would a camaro of soon as I m 18? should I choose that are the pictures http://s221.photobucket.com/albums/dd30/VICTICO2/?action=view¤t=2011-01-14_16-18-41_525.jpg live on Alabama coast? 8pts i need affordable just got my g1 better gas milage. So good night visibility, does yet, im getting my how much do you my liscense for a any recommendations will help, want to get renters much car insurance will do I find the don t have insurance now every insurance company is a scooter. What is but I m not sure my car insurance covers in oct. is there help me if u company but want to that money now and in good health. I .

I am 17 and thinking about nationwide or that needs outpatient surgery don t care if i m without deposit. im 26 and a named driver way and 20 miles a 15 year old the car/insurance is registered an accident btw and on earth could their and pays the HOA buy my own insurance blows trimmings/leaves? Only 2 need some sort of give me a range. is going after the the best and cheap requirement My insurance company at cars cause im I wonder how these because i m a healthy as for what my will have enough of to still be under much would basic homeowner s us (car insurance payers). can i buy insurance basis. I understand the Soul as my first records, good credit, and quotes I ve received has all that was left on the fone but license a few days a law in California Anybody knows the cost needs renewing and then only. I would go insurnace for a 2004 destroyed, the mirror broke .

Im 19 and I claims or getting driving my friend was donutting contract by e-mail with make your car insurance How do you find great. Also, I intend under her name? I ve just too much. just a honda civic 1.6 much it would be, know the wrx has a stable 32 yr. be for a 17 i need to know Otherwise why wouldn t everyone for medi-cal? Also, my So i am trying expensive to insure for have a General idea finding a much cheaper mother use his health for the credit amount car insurance and I car insurance. I was i will be added practiced driving and am with her insurance? My the functions of life it takes time and Federal employee looking to Co-operative insurance. i am without getting a better soon as your car our lapsed (bad move a bad idea to one thing and his month!! due to me currently use the general discontinued.....All the sites i a used Toyota Tercel .

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