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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 month

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WIBTA for locking my bedroom door at my mother's house?

I (18 M) still live with my mom (45 F), and probably will be for a while as I try to finish up my last month and a half of high school and settle into college. At our house, my mom has a habit of just walking into my room unannounced. She also encourages me to not shut it at all because "we're the only ones in the house there's no need for that".

I'm the kind of person who likes having privacy- especially when it comes to her. While she isn't super strict anymore about what I spend my time doing now that I'm an adult, she can be (unintentionally) judgmental. Sometimes she'll walk in and look at what I'm watching and give me this amused look like she finds it funny that I would be watching that. I wouldn't say it's mean, but it is embarrassing and makes me feel bad about my own interests sometimes. And every time I've brought it up she just brushes it off. It's gotten to the point where I have an extra tab as backup or click to my home screen on my computer as soon as I hear her walking towards my room so I don't have to deal with that.

On top of that, I take daily naps. I have chronic fatigue because I have a condition that causes my knees to not bend correctly, which causes a lot of pain, and by extent makes me tired very quickly. It can be fixed over time through physical therapy, but I haven't gotten very far with that both because my fatigue makes it harder for me to exercise and because I have terrible memory and sometimes just forget to do my daily exercises. The pain is slowly getting better though, although the fatigue hasn't and I'm not sure why, as I can't think of any other underlying cause to it (I've already done a sleep study, the results came back normal, so I know I don't also have a sleep disorder).

So while I have this problem, which I have for several years now, I have to take naps to make it through the day. If I don't, even on days I'm not very physically active like weekends, I end up either collapsing and falling asleep that way, or I spend all day too focused on how tired I am to do anything else.

The problem is, when I take these naps at home in my room, and my mom comes in, she makes me get up. She says the naps will ruin my sleep schedule (they don't, no amount of napping has made me have a harder time sleeping at night. Because even if I nap, I'm tired again in an hour or two minimum). She suggests I just get up and exercise- which doesn't help, it just makes my knees hurt more which makes me even more exhausted for the entire rest of the day. I've tried to explain these things to her multiple times but she just won't listen. It's like she thinks that because I've started to do physical therapy that means my knees are perfectly fine now, the pain is gone, and so is my fatigue, even though I've explained the physical therapy hasn't really improved my fatigue levels yet.

So I've thought about just locking her out of my room at the very least when the fatigue starts hitting hard enough I know I'm about to need a nap. I'm tired of her coming in my room whenever she wants as if I'm still a child and not really letting me have much privacy, but I'm especially tired of her not letting me nap when I need it. But considering how against me even closing the door during the day she is, I'm worried it'll just upset her. And she is the one paying the bills- I'm a full time student with no job so far. By all means it's her house more than it is mine.

WIBTA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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bonefall · 7 months

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Golfy is literally one of my favorite cats of all time and I adore the way you’ve characterized her!! Any fun tidbits to share? I want to know more about the woman

There's a sketch of her floating around if you want to go on a treasure hunt! I don't have time to look for it right now (I am currently in the trunk of a clown car), but I've actually drawn a beta of her design and her big mane

Also note: BB!Goldenflower is part of the Doekin line. Speckletail's perception of herself and her family is tied strongly to being Doestar's niece. This association dies out with Thornclaw in BB!OotS as he's the last one to strongly value this legacy.

Golfy's mane is so poofy, unmanageabley poofy. She keeps it braided

Lionheart just surrendered to entrophy on that one lmao. "Dirt happens."

It's my little way of trying to show the difference between the siblings.

They're both proud and honorable, but Lionheart is more calm and patient. He's a Que Sera Sera kind of guy.

Goldenflower is more fond of the expression, "Fortune favors the prepared."

Note to self: Clanmewnize these expressions. Que Sera Sera is notably quite RiverClannish... Golfy's phrase is definitely from early ThunderClan

Not to get too distracted but I recently got this FANTASTIC idea for how to close out Book 3 of BB!DOTC on a bittersweet note, involving The First Boarhunt and Clear Sky being delightfully devious as always. Maybe it would be cool to put that phrase there... anyway.

She had three siblings total, Lionheart, Mistleclaw, and Snowkit. It's really difficult being the last one; family was extremely important to her.

Mistleclaw wasn't even a year out of apprenticeship; you're really considered an ADULT adult after being on your own for a year. Losing her was like losing a sibling who's college-aged. That was to the plague, before Firestar's arrival.

Smallear was openly the father of all four of them, but Goldenflower hesitates to call him Ba. Him and Speckletail had a really toxic on-again off-again thing.

Smallear was closest to Mistleclaw, who coincidentally looked the most like him. Goldenflower is like... "yeah thats what i expected of him, that fish-eared loser"

She's biased in favor of her mother though. Lionheart was more chill with Smallear; not CLOSE but, neutral-positive.

It wasn't entirely Smallear's fault that the relationship kept falling apart though, to be clear. I use toxic in this use very much on purpose, it wasn't abuse, they really cannot get along.

So when Goldenflower eventually picked a mate, she REALLY just wanted a stable lifepartner that would not be like that.

I would describe her relationship with Tigerclaw more in the terms of an "arrangement." Fishing for romantic information from her is VERY funny because she just like. Doesn't "get" romance.

Brambleclaw: "Mom... what did you... like about dad?"

"He was large, we were both very large. And he was a responsible warrior, respected and ambitious. Well... at the time we believed that. And he spoke with great confidence. He had a way of making you feel like you were both safe and powerful by his side."

It will not even click for her that most people don't open the answer to "why did you love x" with "he was tall like me"

(VINE BOOM AROACE FLAG)

She wanted kits and a partner. She doesn't regret the relationship, she regrets what he made her believe.

On Tigerclaw's end, it was mutual. They both liked each other as trusted Clanmates. He was attracted to her and reciprocated when she proposed a mateship, but I don't think he ever really got over Spottedleaf romantically.

Plus, getting into this family was a smart political move. Having Speckletail's approval was VERY useful.

I might stick Goldenflower as Head of Hunting through TNP to early Po3, until she trains a successor, since there's no rush. I have an allegiance list floating around but I can't remember off the top of my head if she's where she should be

She's actually super disappointed in Tawnypelt for her choice. I don't think they ever reconcile this, they're both too proud

So she's kinda iffy on that alliance with ShadowClan. Not to the point of spite, but she does easily believe stereotypes about them.

"A bunch of holdouts of TigerClan and duplicitous fiends over there."

Both Golfy and Tawnp miss each other a lot, but again. Neither one is going to apologize to the other or say the other was even slightly correct.

And Golfy wouldn't accept it if Tawnp even did. She made her choice. They're in different Clans now. She chose her father, who killed Swiftpaw and Lionheart.

And for that, Golfy will not forgive her.

If they ended up in a battle, neither would hold back. They both know this.

I'm really fond of her. She really is Speckletail's daughter and the whole family has a special flavor of pain and pride.

#BB!Goldenflower

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fandoms--fluff · 7 months

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Hi requests for flufftober .

Can u do a fluff where the reader is plus size

And is in a relationship with klaus.

Can u make her Indian because being fat is looked down upon in India I am telling you this because I am Indian and I get fat shame d by my own family .

Can u please make her story same as mine where she goes through what I am going through and Klaus comforts her by kissing every inch of her body and leaving hickeys.

He also calls her beautiful.

If u are not ok with writing this or want to cut any part that u are not okay me .

U are free to do it .

Beautiful

Flufftober, October 2nd

Female reader x Klaus Mikaelson

Warnings: mentions of body hate/dysmorphia, mentions of being bullied

A/n: please don't read if you think it will affect your mental health, remember it's important!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You're sat across from your soon to be husband, Klaus Mikaelson, the one and only original hybrid. You've been across town all day and made reservations for this fancy restaurant just out of New Orleans so no one could interupt you guys.

You guys have just ordered, unknowingly, your arms wrapped around your midsection, sort of acting as a shield so no one can see your stomach rolls. Even in the stunning black midi dress that you've felt confident in all day, you have actions you do unconsciously for being self conscious about your body.

Basically most of your life, people have either commented on your weight or looked at you with that look, you got that look through your teens the most. Especially considering you didn't look the same as everyone else, and that's good, you're your own person, until it comes to weight. Then apparently you're not good enough and looked down upon by other teens, adults, and even your own family.

You had a phone call with your mother the night before while Klaus was in the shower. Said phone call almost brought you to tears. At the start, you were having a good conversation with your mom, until she brought up how she went to the mall with her friends the other day. She spoke about how she saw the perfect wedding dress that you would love by all the photos of inspo you've shown her since your and Klaus' engagement. But then she said, 'if only you were tinier like your cousins, then maybe you could try and squeeze into the biggest size of the dress'. She went on and in about how the biggest size wasn't even big enough for you to even try to try on.

That hasn't been the worst conversation with your Mom in a longshot, but it still hurt. It hurt even more, knowing it was your own mother saying those things. Yes, you may not look the same as everyone else, but you've been trying to love your body just the way it is. But things like that obviously doesn't help your feelings or self esteem.

You feel something lay against your hand, snapping out if your thoughts, you looked up at Klaus, seeing his hand placed on top of yours. His thumb is softly rubbing up and down to side of your hand.

"Love? Are you alright? You spaced off for a moment there" Klaus softly smiles.

"Oh, um yeah, just thinkin. Nothing to worry about" you give a tight lip smile.

Klaus nods, keeping in his head about your stranger-than-normal attitude, but it's not a bad thing, it's just concerning to him.

You guys get home from the restaurant around 10pm, everyone's either out or has fallen asleep super early.

You're standing in front of the mirror in your guys' room. You haven't changed out of your dress yet, instead staring at every part of your body that you're insecure about. There hasn't been any way to stop you from doing this. You would try, but then end up close to tears or crying in front of a mirror. The worst times this has happened has been in a changing room at stores.

That's what you thought, before Klaus steps back into the room.

He pauses his movements, seeing you frowning in front of the mirror, sucking your stomach in as much as you can. You look over to him, eyes widening. Klaus just caught you doing one of the only things you never wanted him to know that you do.

"Klaus, this is not what you think this is, I'm just..." you start, not knowing what to say, you trail off.

Klaus walks over to you and cups your face in his hands. "Love, you can tell me the truth, you always can" he tells you, having a senaking suspicion of what's going on, but wants you tell him on your terms.

He leads you over to the bed, sitting down with his hand resting on your thigh. You take a couple deep breathes, "I'm too big. I wish I was skinny, I've wished that since the first time someone ever brought up how I look different than everyone else. I've hated my body for over a decade, my mom was probably the worst thing about it. She would always tell me how I was fat without thinking twice. And she never understood and still doesn't how that makes someone feel, especially a teenage girl who's already miserable everytime she has to take foot in a high school where everyone says even worse things some how" you rant to your fiance, tears streaming down your face. "I hate my body so much" you whisper.

Klaus immediately pulls you in to his arms. He kisses the top of your head multiple times. "I'm so sorry you've had to go through this, and still do?" You nod your head. "You are perfect how you are. You should never compare yourself to others or listen to what others say you should look like." Klaus lists off.

"I love you so much, you're so perfect, and gorgeous the way you are. You should never think different" Klaus pulls away, looking at you with emotion in his eyes.

"R-really? I love you too. N-no one has ever said that. I've grown up hating myself" you whimper.

"Everything I said is true, and you should never hate yourself, being who you are now is everything to me" he slowly lays you down onto your back.

"And I will make sure you know this every day" he murmurs as he trails his lips all over your face and down your neck. He presses kisses all down your exposed collarbone and chest.

He keeps going all the way down, kissing your fabric covered stomach and waist, and hips. He goes down to your ankles, until kissing the top of your feet gently.

"You love, are so beautiful" he whispers into your ear. You cuddle into his suit covered chest with a slight smile on your face.

"You're the one person I feel safest with. Thank you so much. I love you Klaus" you look up at him. "I will always be here for you, I love you too, beautiful" he kisses your forehead and holds your hand.

#klaus mikealson x reader #klaus mikaelson #flufftober #klaus mikaelson x female reader #klaus mikaelson x fem reader #female reader #body image issues #self conscious #fluff #reassurance #comfort #sweet klaus #cute #imagines #fanfic #writing #theoriginals #thevampirediaries #legacies

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digenerate-trash · 10 months

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All of my teacher head cannons are based on my experiences with real teachers.

that being said:

More teacher head cannons!!!

(this time I rated them on how well I think they would be as a teacher)

Doren

Lowkey would fuck a student if they got consent.

Gives off “I have a daddy kink” energy but not the cool kind

Calls students Good boy/girl to gauge their reactions.

Will give extra homework to the whole class if one dude pisses them off

Has a ‘I’m the cool’ teacher thing going on but is really the most uncool bitch in the whole world.

Would spit on you if he could get away with it.

Is absolutely a bitch that says “I don’t know CAN you?” when you just need to piss

Will put stickers on your tests that say generic shit like “good job” and “wonderful”

No one gets graded above a 95% because he personally believes that he knows better than every student and even some teacher's real “I'm the smartest man in this school” energy

Will put on movies at the end of the year because he doesn't feel like teaching the last week

Overall 2/10 I’m not learning shit in this class (out of spite.)

Mason

Needs approval from everyone for everything.

Probably just learning the ropes as a teacher

The cool teacher.

Everyone wants a piece of this man and he just wants to swim

Could literally convince him the sky was purple he's a gullible mess

Gym body but puppy personality

Would throw hands at anyone who harassed any of his students.

Gentle teaching methods. Sometimes super effective but some students use it to coast

Super easy to get sidetracked

Undiagnosed ADHD man

Students openly flirt with him and he's got no clue how to respond so he's just like “Haha good joke”

Would not fuck a student no matter what,

Clueless about other teachers and the inner politics going on at the school

Stay in his lane king

Absolutely started off as a lifeguard and doesn't know how his life got here

6/10 I’m a big fan of your class but it's only because it's easy.

River

Virgin.

Has a full life outside of school

Like two years away from retirement

When the class gets too out of hand wants to curl up and die right there

Stressed as hell 24/7

Never married never will be

Teaching style is harsh as hell but will stay after school or give up their lunch break to help out students who are struggling

No days off in this class it doesn't matter if your exams are done. School is school and you will learn as long as you are here

Doesn't play favourites but he seriously should.

Hates Doren (just has a bad feeling about the dude)

5/10 I'm trying my best dude please stop saying you know I can my reach potential if I applied myself. Its math. I'm not gonna apply myself

Sirris

Says she “knows what I'm going through” but I doubt her science teacher was a MILF.

Why are you always wearing low-cut tops???

At least one rumor about how a student fucked her over her desk and it was so good she hentai came.

Gentle teaching style but doesn't take any shit.

Has considered slapping students but never would

Personal stories that tie into the lesson somehow

Talks all the time about how much she loves her kid and how much of an angel he is

Would love to get a tiny kiss on the head from her. Please

She brings a lot of momma bird energy to the class.

Will touch your shoulder very gently

Will then look over your test and say to the whole class “Remember to read the questions on the test carefully”

A student has absolutely called her ‘mom’ by accident and she feels flattered by that

Will put on bill nye on Fridays after a test to give everyone a break.

8/10 Either adopt me or let me make out with you. I'm dealing with confusing feelings!

Winter

Bro if Sirris is a MILF winter is like a super MILF with no kids.

Big BDSM lesbian energy.

Her weekends are booked solid and she has no time for school life to get involved with that.

Wears SFW leather accents all the time no matter the weather.

Has decided that instead of gray hair they want platinum blonde and they are rocking it

Calls her students good boys/girls out of habit.

Absolutely could beat any of the other teachers in a fight.

She's super passionate about history and has several antiques which she considers priceless.

Students who mock her subject are always sorry after she lectures them.

She's happy to help students during lunch. But not after school. She has boundaries

Overall 8/10. Im not confused. Fuck me into the historically accurate pillary with your massive strap. Im fucking ready.

Leighton

Evil.

Will fuck students without their consent

Absolutely blackmails students and teachers.

Dude jacks it under his desk at school while he watches porn after using his admin pass to get passed the website blockers.

Will send teachers an NSFW link and then mark them for disciplinary action for clicking on it. (Mason will fall for this trick every time)

Has never and will never hire an outside consultant or HR representative claiming its a ‘waste of resources’

Dude will rub his hard dick on your back while you're sitting in his office for detention.

Piss kink. Don't ask me for evidence. I just get this /feeling/

Will take a long weekend more than a couple of times a year just for the fun of it. But will never allow the same grace to any other teacher.

Has a file of his favourite students that he meticulously plans to molest. It's like a black book.

Bro obviously watches teacher/student porn or 18yr/old man porn at school.

Teaching style is fucking old school. Reinforcement through pain/ruler. Writing lines. Detention sessions are just holding a penny between your knees and standing in the corner with a dunce cap on.

Plays favourites but if you are his favourite fucking watch your back.

0/10 I’m not learning shit. And also I dread office visits. If you touch me I'm calling the police.

#dol content #degrees of lewdity #degrees of lewdity teachers #doren the english teacher #mason the swimming teacher #river the maths teacher #sirris the science teacher #winter the history teacher #leighton the headteacher

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mythicalmyles · 2 years

Note

hi there ! your writing is literally like a saving grace to me 🥺🫶🏼! could i request Jeff with a younger male reader? + breeding, forced orgasm, punishment, & yandere

i was thinking maybe MC is considered super gullible and innocent. yknow, the shtick! thank you so much if you get to this!! i hope you have a great day (🫧 )

I like da way u think and im so glad ypu like my stuff that means sm i lov u🥹 hope u enjoy also i hope u dm me doing force squirting instead <3

(Name) sat quietly at his desk, headphones blaring through his ear drums. He sniffled and shuffled position in his chair before skipping a few songs before finally settling on one.

His eyes flicked to the time, 4.07 am. A breath shot out his nose as he flopped back against his chair, he should fix this. Instead he shook his head and continued staring past his computer, thoughts running through his head.

His thoughts always ended up on an old friend, Jeffery Woods. It felt like some distant fever dream, but it had happened. Sometimes he morned the loss of his old friend but fear would be quick to fill him after, the authorities had long lost count of his bodies.

(Name) wrapped his arms around himself as he felt his body tremor, dread filling his stomach. A horrible feeling filled his body, he couldn’t explain why he suddenly felt like a cornered mouse.

Hands gripping his shoulders had a scream tearing through the room, (Name) didn’t care how girly he might’ve sounded as terror filled every inch of his body causing him to lock in place.

He let out a winded yelp as he fell back with the chair, thankful for the cushioning. His eyes shot open and whatever noise he had began to make died in his throat when (e/c) eyes met blue.

Hed recognise those eyes anywhere, part of him quickly began to berate himself for thinking about this so much. “Hello sunshine.” Jeffs voice was completely different, not only was it deeper then last time they’d spoken but it held this tone of insanity in it.

(Name) knew he was fucked up, all the murders, the self mutilation it all had to go back to that day. (Name) quickly jumped up, trying to run around Jeff but failing as the other threw him onto his bed.

“Come in now, is that anyway to great an old friend?” Jeff laughed before quickly jumping on top of (Name), hands quickly restraining the younger. “Please Jeff, i didn’t have anything to do with that.” (Name) begged, eyes tearing up as he searched for anything on Jeff’s face.

Jeff giggled and shook his head. “I know that, silly.” Jeff’s tone was condescending as he stared down at the smaller boy trapped under him. “I'm not here to hurt you.. Much." He grinned and (Name) closed his eyes, his panic almost too much for himself to hand.

"Don't worry, I'll take good care of you." (Name) blinked his eyes open, looking at Jeff's serious face. He let out a breath and relaxed in Jeff's grip. "What do you-" Jeff was quick to cut him off. "Don't worry about it." His thumbs lightly rubbed against (Names) wrist. "Plus, i only hurt bad people."

(Name) frowned but before he could speak Jeff continued. "I do research into the people i hurt and they deserve it, but the news would never tell you that." (Name) bit his lip, his dad had always raved on about people spying on them and that no one could be trusted.

"I would never hurt an innocent person." Jeff's face stayed serious as he lied through his teeth, (Name) ate it up. "What about your parents? Liu?" (Name) questioned, Jeff did his best to hide his aggrivation at the twenty questions he was suddenly being levied with but he sucked it up.

"Mom and dad... They. My face.." Was all Jeff said before bursting into tears, (Name) quick to hug him. "It's okay, we don't have to talk about it anymore, im sorry." Once (Name) apologised Jeff knew he had him, quick to hid his smirk by dipping his head down.

He pushed his head into (Names) neck who shivered as his breath touched him. Jeff moved his knees closer to his body, causing (Names) legs to spread around his waist. Jeff grinned as he felt the others breathing pick up.

Jeff pushed the others shirt up as his hand moved up (Names) stomach to begin flicking his nipple. A shocked gasp left him as he gripped Jeff's wrist, doing nothing to stop the stronger man. "Jeff, wait no." (Name) panicked as Jeff shushed him, his mouth moving to play with his other nipple.

A strangled moan left (Name) as Jeff's tongue circled his bud, he shook his head as his breathing became laboured. "Jeff, no." He tried to say more sternly, Jeff chuckled in response and kept assaulting his nipples.

Moans fell from (Names) lips as he tried to pull Jeffs hand away from his nipple. He paused to squeeze Jeffs wrist as his back arched and his eyes rolled. Jeff stopped only to make his way down (Names) stomach, slurping against his skin as he moved down. "Please." (Name) moaned out as Jeff pulled down his boxers, Jeff smirked.

"Want more already." A small cry left (Name) as he shook his head. "No-ahhh please stop." Jeff laughed as he easily flipped the smaller boy onto his stomach. Jeff stuck his fingers into (Names) mouth, fucking his throat for a few seconds as drool coated him. "Good boy." Jeff cooed as he pushed a finger into (Name).

A broken cry flew from his lips as Jeffs finger sank into him. "God, so tight pretty boy." A whimper left (Name). "Jeff please, you don't have to do this." (Name) begged through his moans. "I want to." Was all Jeff replied before pushing another finger in. (Names) moans raised in pitch as Jeff used his free hand to grip his hip and pull him back onto his fingers.

Jeff spotted lotion on the side table and quickly scooped it up, (Name) tried to run but Jeff was quick to dive on top of him. "C'mon baby, it's gonna feel so good." (Name) just shook his head and shivered as Jeff coated his cock in lotion. Jeff didn't waste time before pushing into the smaller, he let out a loud groan as his cock was gripped.

"So tight, so good." Was all Jeff could say before he gripped (Names) hips and began fucking him. (Name) let out a cry at the intrusion, Jeff's cock filling him more then he could bare. A strangled moan left him as Jeff roughly fucked into him, he could feel his own cock harden as Jeff assaulted his prostate.

Loud moans filled the room along with the sound of skin slapping as Jeff took him roughly. "Gonna breed you up pretty boy, fill you up with so much cum. You'd look so pretty full of my babies." (Name) gasped and flushed, his cock twitched at Jeffs words.

He shook his head though, quick to protest. "Shut up, what are you really gonna do pretty baby? I have my cock deep in this pretty little ass of yours. You're mine now." (Name) sobbed, he couldn't tell at this point if it was because of how good he felt right now or if he really didn't want what Jeff said.

"I should've taken you when i first say you, you looked so pretty." (Names) mouth opened, not sure what he was going to respond before a weird stabbing feeling filled his stomach. Panic filled him as he began fighting against Jeff again. "No, Jeff. Please, i'm begging, you need to stop please." (Name) begged as weird feeling filled his stomach and cock, he could swear he was about to piss himself.

He kept begging, instead jeff ignored him and grabbed his arms. He pulled them behind (Names) back as his hand gripped (Names) neck. Jeff gripped hard as he continued to slam into (Names) prostate, (Name) let out a loud scream as he squirted, his own liquid coating him.

(Name) sobbed, embarrassment flushing him, Jeff paused to smile in glee. "I've never seen a man actually do it!" He cheered, (Name) sniffled before turning around to Jeff. Jeff swore before gripping the others hair and connecting their lips. He pulled out and dove on top of (Name), their bodies flush together as Jeff pushed his cock back into (Names) hole.

(Name) moaned weakly as Jeff praised him, continuing to thrust his cock into the already spent boy. (Name) burned with over sensativity but it also felt so good all he could do was lie back and take what Jeff threw at him.

Jeff grinned as the other fully relaxed and submitted. "Such a good boy, so pretty." Jeff cooed as he ran one of his hands through the others hair. It didn't take too long for (Names) moans to pick up and for his to struggle again. "Not again, please." Jeff shut him up but pressing his lips to the others as he picked up his thrusts, his own climax coming close.

(Name) came again, cum barley dripping out his cock as he let out a high pitched whine. His whine turned into a yelp as Jeff suddenly slapped his ass, Jeff slapped his ass four more times delighting when tears filled the others eyes as he begged Jeff to stop. "You should've been a good boy." Jeff smacked his ass ten more times, delighting in the way (Name) tightened around his cock.

Jeff began thrusting into him again except this time he'd randomly smack (Names) ass delighting in the shout the other produced each time. Jeff stopped his slaps in favour of picking up his thrusts and chasing his release, (Name) came again and Jeff lightly chuckled as he hit his own release and pumped the smaller man full of his cum.

"Told you I'd breed you good."

#jeff the killer x malereader #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta #creepypasta x male reader #creepy pasta x reader #creepypasta x male!reader #jeff the killer x reader #jeff the killer x male reader #jeff the killer #jeff the killer x male!reader #jeffery woods #myfic

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kandisheek · 2 months

Text

FIC REC WEEK 11 – A/B/O

Breaking Tony by AvocadoLove

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 6,385 Tags: Dubious Consent, Voyeurism, Orgasm Denial

Summary: In a world where everyone is born beta, leaders chosen by newly founded packs become alpha. Omegas are not born or made, they are broken. Steve wants Tony to become the Avenger's omega.

Reasons why I love it: I really like this take on A/B/O. The worldbuilding about all the ways people can be "broken" into omegas is super interesting, and the one Steve chooses makes complete sense to me, considering who he is as a person. Plus, that nod to Steve's ulterior motive at the end is like a nice cherry on top. I love this fic, and if dubious consent isn't a dealbreaker for you, then I bet you will too!

Against The Norm by justanotherStonyfan

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 13,004 Tags: Fuck or Die, Mutual Pining, Mating Cycles

Summary: When Steve and Tony wake up to find that they've been captured, they assume things can't get any worse. They're wrong.

Reasons why I love it: 'Bad guys made them do it' is my not-so-secret pleasure, and this one scratches that itch so goddamn well for me. The smut is hot as hell, but what really gets me is how desperately Steve is trying to hold himself back. His inner monologue is perfect, and I absolutely adore how, after everything is over, Tony comes to Steve's rescue. This is definitely one of my favorite fics in this fandom, so I hope you check it out for yourself!

In Tandem by RurouniHime

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 8,695 Tags: Mpreg, Illness, Heat Cycles

Summary: “Want a blood test,” Steve manages, because on the third night of their Week, he can think more clearly than he’s been able to for days. Tony’s scent is strong in his nostrils, cloying in a strange, sleek way he yearns after like a tune he nearly recognizes. “If you’re getting sick—” “God.” Tony shifts bodily up into him, clenching around him. “Yes, Mom.”

Reasons why I love it: This one is so fucking good! Steve and Tony really get dealt a shitty card by nature here, but the way they handle it is amazing. They're terrified, but they support each other, and that is just beautiful to me. The companion piece to this fic is also wonderful, in that it shows just how hard Steve tries to give Tony everything he needs, but also how Tony returns the favor. This verse is incredible, check it out, I bet you'll love it!

Inkling by Cluegirl

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 9,373 Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Outdoor Sex, Attempted Kidnapping

Summary: "Enough!" The doctor snapped, no trace of chummy comfort left in his voice as he shoved the hypospray at another of the nurses. "We have orders! MPs, get topside, now. Hooper, get another fifty of Xyladine into the Captain. Dacy and Roccio, prep the gurney. Seames, wipe your goddamned face off and prep for blood draw." "But Major, the muster-" Steve felt the cuff on his right arm begin to tear, blood slicking his wrist against the metal's bite. The doctor rounded on his aide, teeth bared. "Did. I. Stutter?" Another one tried, "Sir, the alphas will need-" "The alphas will fight, Corporal," The doctor snatched the hypospray back. "Rut haze or no, they'll fight. That's what we keep them around for, now get that man unconscious, or I will-"

Reasons why I love it: Rut-crazed Steve is one of my favorite things, and this one is just beautiful. I love how Tony instantly swoops in to take care of Steve, and the smut is hot as all hell. The rest of the Avengers are wonderfully written as well, and the first scene sets the mood perfectly. I love this one a lot, so I hope you check it out for yourself!

Never is a Promise by manic_intent

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 9,976 Tags: Bonding, Knotting, Alpha!Tony/Omega!Steve

Summary: Steve had to admit that he had some reservations about how the New Century handled the social balance between alphas and omegas.

Reasons why I love it: Taking the usual A/B/O trope and flipping it on its head. I love it! Steve is really amazing in this, and his inner monologue is super well-written. Poor Tony being a slave to his instincts makes for some incredible smut, and you know I always love a good "oh-shit-fuck-we're-compatible" storyline. This one is fantastic, and I highly recommend you read it!

#marvel #stony #fanfic #fic rec #fanfic rec #ficrec #a year in fanfic recs #a/b/o

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fayeandknight · 9 months

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Hi! First of all i hope you're having a good day/night, and if you don't mind the question (no pressure to answer, no worries! especially if this is something that was asked before) my partner is disabled and we've had the tought of getting a SD in the future for physical and also likely psychiatric aid, and since we're also interested in belgians, i've been wondering what it's like to have one as SD. Energy and exercise needs aside, because that's a given, what are the pros and cons to them in the context of them being a service dog? I'd love to hear about Forte, but if there are other people you know of that could give some insight on this topic, i'll also be grateful for that.

Sorry that i don't have more specific questions than this atm, i'm mainly wondering what the likelihood of getting a dog of that breed or similar as a SD is, and what some challenges (or maybe advantages?) might be. (i know other breeds are often the go-to for this for a reason, but still curious as i have seen them being used as SDs). Thanks and take care!

Hey, thanks for reaching out to me, I'm happy to answer questions! Hopefully I adequately answer everything but if not please feel free to ask follow up questions.

What are the pros and cons of having a Belgian as an SD?

First, my standard heads up that SDs bring attention. It's unavoidable even if you have the most generic looking dog in the world. So I advise people to really consider how they will deal with attention/the public being weird.

That's not meant to discourage pursing an SD, just something to keep in mind. On my good days I'm educational about SDs for the curious. On okay days, I'm monotone and boring in my answers or just ignore people. And on less than okay days I carefully evaluate my tolerance for nonsense and have a plan for leaving immediately if I need to.

As far as having a Belgian SD in particular, he's incredibly perceptive and can pick up subtle mood shifts or small behaviors quite quickly. And he's good at putting the pieces together even if I'm not able to show him the whole picture. This is super helpful for disassociation interruption where simulating it is difficult. He's not easily discouraged when he's sure about a response. Meaning he'll keep trying to help even if I ignore him or try to send him away. He also loves to work and in addition to food and play/toy rewards works well for praise and affection.

He also just jives really well with my lifestyle. So even if service work didn't end up being his path, there's still a place for him in my life.

The cons really boil down that he's sensitive, environmentally alert, and keenly attuned to me. I shielded him a lot as a puppy/younger dog from my big moods. There were a lot of days when I had to quickly stop what I was doing, put puppy Forte in his pen, and run upstairs to fall apart in private. Because continually bearing witness to that can stress any dog out, but the risk is greater for sensitive breeds like Belgians. I also do a lot of work using people he knows and likes to keep him from becoming suspicious of people. Because he is naturally clocking everything happening and I get easily uncomfortable with people in my space. So I have to keep on top of not letting him put those two together in a way that makes him feel the need to keep people away from me in an unfriendly manner.

This is where I strongly advocate for finding a top notch breeder, Belgian or otherwise, and being honest with them about what you'll be asking of the dog. While I didn't disclose my disability, I did write out the main tasks I'd be needing and what they looked like exactly. Be prepared for breeders to say no. Better to know up front they aren't going to be a good match. Forte's breeder told me that if I'd asked a few years previous, she'd have said no. But that she had a current bitch (Forte's mom) she thought could produce the right puppy for me. Forte's litter is considered very social/friendly for the breed.

Hopefully this gives some insight. I tried to keep it on the shorter (ha) side but could easily ramble on about the subject. If there's specifics that come to mind or you're interested in a typical day or the like let me know.

Thanks!

#thanks for the ask!#service dog #service dogs #belgians as service dogs #forte #i tried not to overdo the answer lol #but i could easily get very nerdy about it

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orangesunsets12 · 6 months

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Tagged by the amazing @icedteaandoldlace-- 20 questions for fic writers! Thank you!

How many works do you have on A03?

102

What's your total AO3 word count?

625,524

What fandoms do you write for?

In order of most stories to least (posted on AO3):

The Flash, Stranger Things, Young Justice, the MCU, Encanto, Lego Ninjago, Star Trek: Next Generation, Arrow, and Superman & Lois.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

It Takes Two to Survive (Stranger Things)

2. Begging on my Knees (why won't you believe me?) (Stranger Things)

3. 5 Times Steve Helped the Kids and the 1 Time They Helped Him (Stranger Things)

4. One in the Same (Stranger Things)

5. Loosened Grip (Stranger Things)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

It always depends, I always would love to say "thank you" because I am indeed super thankful for all of the comments that I get, but sometimes my anxiety gets the better of me and I'm too scared to reply, (I overthink a lot, and think that what I say could be considered weird, to put it simply). It's something I'm trying to get over, but if my anxiety is bad I usually have to wait to respond to comments and then I sometimes forget to reply.

What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This one was hard to find. Although I write a lot of angst, most of my fics have a happy ending, or at least one where things are looking up. However, one of my Stranger Things fics, Flayed, ended with Steve's mom kicking him out of the house and disowning him. I would say that that's one of the angstiest endings that I found within my fics.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Avalanche, a fic I wrote in The Flash fandom. It ends with Cisco and Kamilla having twins, and it's all happiness and fluff. Even thinking about it makes me smile!

Do you get hate on fics?

Not usually, I've gotten some comments/questions about changing my fics to be different, or criticizing a choice I made, but I haven't gotten any major hate (at least none that I know of).

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

No, I'm not a smut writer.

Do you write crossovers?

Only if they're in the same "universe", like the Arrowverse. I've done an Arrow and The Flash crossover, and a Superman & Lois and The Flash crossover as well.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I did have someone comment saying that one of my fics was stolen and posted elsewhere, but I was never able to find proof, so I'm not sure. It wasn't for one of my most popular fics, and for that I'm thankful.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I think that that would be super cool to experience! I would be so happy if one of my fics was translated! The only thing I would ask for, though, was for my fic to be tagged in the translated one, and that I was given credit for the original story.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I haven't, but that sounds like a fun idea! I think I would find it to be a challenge, though, as I find it a bit hard working as a team. Group projects in school were so hard for me lol.

What's your all-time favorite ship to write for?

I don't write much for romance, but I would have to pick Artemis Crock/Wally West from Young Justice. I haven't written a fic for them in a while, but they are so sweet together! I find their relationship easy to write for, too.

What's a WIP you want to finish, but but doubt you ever will?

This one was easy to think of for me. I had begun a MCU story called The Warehouse, where Peter and other kids with powers were homeless but eventually met Tony Stark. I loved the idea, and I still do, but it's been so long since I've touched it and I don't think that I'll get to it in a long time, if not at all. It's a bit heartbreaking, because I love the story so much, but I just won't have time to get back to it.

What are your writing strengths?

Angst. I think that I can write pretty good angst and whump, as it's basically all I write. I can write the initial experience of angst well, and the hurt/comfort after comes really easy for me. I also think that I can write really good platonic relationships.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Romance. I feel like whenever I write any sort of romantic relationship it feels a bit forced. I'm not sure it it's true or not, but I wish that I was better at writing people in love. I also struggle a lot with deep dialogue, I always feel like I make it sound cheesy lol. I would love to get better at describing scenery and movement, too, as well as fight scenes. I also struggle a lot making summaries and titles.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think it's awesome! I think I've only used a few words in a different language in my fics, as I only speak a bit of French and I'm terrified of using Google translate too much and getting the translation wrong. If I ever learned a different language, I would totally include it in my fics, with the translation, if it fit into the story.

First fandom you wrote for?

Lego Ninjago! It was the fandom that got me into writing fanfiction, and it helped my writing improve a lot. I was (and still am, to a degree) a big Jay fan.

Favorite fic you've written?

AAHHHHH HOW CAN I PICK????

Let me think here...

I think it would have to be my longest fic, It Takes Two to Survive, for the Stranger Things fandom. Not only was I able to write a fanfic that was 160k words long (which I'm still shocked and so thankful about), but I loved seeing the storyline develop, as well as friendships. It's a story I enjoy reading, and I love how far it came. When I look back at this fic, I'm reminded that I can write something crazy long, that I can write a good storyline, and that I can write character development without loosing sight of the plot, and for that I'm so thankful. I feel like I did the impossible with this fic, and that's probably why it's my favorite.

I do have to mention my second longest fic though, Avalanche, for The Flash fandom. It was a lot like It Takes Two to Survive, but I feel like this fic was one of my best stories in regards to romance, and writing it was so fun! It was really focused on the idea of surviving the worst pain to protect the one you love, and to see them again, which I think is so sweet! I also got to write Cisco and Kamilla having a family, which was awesome! I haven't read the fic in a while, so I honestly don't remember much, but I really love that fic, too!

I love so many of my stories though, I can only think of a few that I didn't like.

--------------------------------------

Thanks again for the tag, @icedteaandoldlace, this was so fun!!

I'm not sure who to tag so if anyone sees this and wants to do it feel free to!

#ao3 writer #ao3 fanfic #fanfic questions

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selfindulgentfandomstuff · 3 months

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Woe, Roman selfship lore be upon ye

(+ some Roman standalone doodles above)

So the context for this is that Roman and Evelyn (my self insert, yes his birthname was Evelyn, yes he kept it after he transitioned) were childhood friends and eventually they meet up again, as detailed below!

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-Roman and Evelyn are friends

-Roman is a year older than Evelyn

-met bc Evelyn’s mother worked as a housekeeper for the Roys and would sometimes be allowed to bring her daughter, Evelyn, to work

-they met when Roman was 6 and Evelyn was 5; Evelyn’s mom had just started working for the Roys and Evelyn came along

-while her mother was at work, Evelyn had to occupy herself; she was nonchalantly given free range of the expansive yard by the head housekeeper so long as she, “promised to be very respectful of the Roy’s property”

-it was that day that Evelyn happened upon Roman’s super secret hiding spot and that Roman happened upon Evelyn in aforementioned hiding spot

-the two, being naturally amicable at heart, agreed to share the spot and draw together with Evelyn’s drawing materials, kept in a little pink backpack with cats and her name embroidered on it

-eventually the two finished their respective drawings and continued on, Roman giving Evelyn a child’s version of a tour of the outside part of his family’s mansion

-when Evelyn’s mom had to leave for the day, Evelyn reluctantly went with her. The two kids never actually specifically planned to meet again, but what with Evelyn’s mom being a housekeeper at Roman and his family’s residence, the two ended up spending a good portion of their childhood together

-in the beginning, the two didn’t understand that there was anything wrong with being friends but as they grew older, Roman especially, grew wary of how they interacted in the presence of any adults

-Logan, in particular, was not keen on his youngest son interacting with a housekeeper’s daughter

-time passed, Evelyn’s mom turned out to be one of the longstanding housekeepers for the Roys; someone they kept around, and as such Evelyn became a constant in Roman’s life

-the two did not go to the same school, of course, Roman going to some fancy elite private school for rich kids and Evelyn going to the local public schools

-but for what time they didn’t see each other during school hours, they made up for with time spent together as much as humanly possible; the two were inseparable

-some years later down the line, Roman was sent off to military school, though he returned for his last two years of high school (extrapolating a little here, based on what I've got from the show's canon about his past, so bear with me here if it’s not entirely accurate lol)

-the years spent with Roman throughout their childhood, those were probably some of the best years of their life, Evelyn thinks

-Roman went off to the University of Southern California (likely via his dad pulling some strings)

-Evelyn, despite being one of the top students of their high school graduating class, fell off the horse (major depressive disorder, anxiety, autistic burnout) and took roughly 2 years before starting in their community college for 2 years and transferring to University of California, Los Angeles for another 2 to finish their bachelors and then completing a doctoral degree in astrophysics

-by now Evelyn is in their early thirties and with a brand new PhD in physics, they were under the impression they would be easy to hire; that they would find a job easily

-not the case

-so they, on a whim (veryyyy unlike them) decided to move to New York to try for work there

-instead of their dream job as an astrophysicist, Evelyn ended up working as an actuarial consultant at Waystar Royco, using their mathematical reasoning skills and trained logical thought processes to help assess financial risk for the gargantuan company

-they get their job doing this around the same time the show begins

-as was inevitable, considering both of their respective jobs, Evelyn and Roman ran into each other

-they didn’t actually (consciously) recognize each other at first

-upon seeing each other in the bathroom while washing their respective hands, it took both of them a minute to realize who the other was

-Evelyn recognized Roman first but Roman quickly caught on, asking if they were who he thought they were

-Roman, completely floored by the realization that his childhood bestie was a dude now, was, for once, speechless

-Evelyn tentatively asks if he still wants to be friends, or at the very least friendly with each other

-all of the memories come flooding back to Roman and he almost starts crying but plays it off as coolly as he can (so, not very) and fervently agrees

-the two set a time up to have lunch or something over and they catch up. Its a longggg lunch.

-working on the rest! Thought this was a good start tho! :)

#see how the most dangerous thing is to love #<- tag name for Roman x Evelyn #Romelyn #<- alternative tag in case I forget lol #anyways plssss do not tag with main fandom tags if you rb this!#I doubt anyone will it’s mostly for my reference anyways ahaha!!#I think this plotline has sooo much potential tbh I’m so happy with it so far

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tricornonthecob · 7 months

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I'm trying to wake up early

LK 114: The Forst Firth Of July

(pt1)(pt2)(pt3)(pt4)(pt5)

Why the fuck is Lady Phillips in Philadelphia and why isn't she more incognito oh my god is she looking for Benji? Is she trying to get the Frillips polycule back together?

NOOOO oh my GOD is she doing super secret Whig shit??? I bet its Whig shit.

*vague hand gesturing* something something edutainment

awww omg is Uncle Benji showing her the ropes?????? She looks so happy. This is so cute.

Ain't nothin' gonna kill her vibes today.

Well, maybe one thing (her crush being in distress)

I could say something meaningful here about how you saved his life, and he saved yours, brothers to the end, but the desire to make a comment about how Henri is still the best agent in this outfit is fighting with me.

I mean he never really is the way y'all gaze at each other.

"YEAH, YEAH, WASHINGTON WANTS A RESOLUTION. God that man is being such a Karen rn."

Benji's considering it.

Will he vote for independency???

Honestly I'm just disappointed he's not wearing 1970s burnt orange.

A missed opportunity, really.

Oh my god they opened up a window.

That bean is peak Proportions right now.

They gave the feral frenchman blur lines.

Damn she is just having a blast today isn't she. Who put xanax in her porridge? We know it was you, Benji.

What a fucking sassbucket.

"And John Adams won't sit the fuck down."

"the frontier will fall -" Bitch they live there???? Have always lived there??? The fuck you on about???

Just in case you weren't paying attention in geography class, they've kindly provided some unsubtle edutainment.

Wow when did she become my mom.

This is almost a complete recreation of a common argument in my house growing up, minus the multiple people yelling at the top of their lungs while thumbing through multiple dictionaries *nostalgic sigh.*

#liberty's kids #james hiller #sarah phillips #amrev #18th century #1776 musical #henri lefebvre #tricorn on the cob watches lk and makes inane commentary #tricorn on the cob watches lk and gets nostalgic for family fights #All I'll say is that with three fucking dictionaries strewn about the house I learned how to use a dictionary at a very young age #We had three so that if you needed to prove a point one would always be close at hand #tricorn watches

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jskim2112 · 10 months

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Stop this train

I want to get off and go home again

I can’t take the speed it’s moving in

I know I can’t

But honestly, won’t someone stop this train?

It’s been a minute since I’ve written anything other than emails and to-do lists. So here goes nothing…

I’ve been feeling pretty existential these days… the past 12 months, really. There’s a lot going on at church, work, family, friendships, and I’m just barely able to process it all at the speed of a Pentium II Processor (for reference, it came out in 1997).

My best friend (weird label) and prayer warrior sister of 12 years moved away last month after 3 sweet years of being in the same city again.

My church is figuring out identity-level mission and vision questions at every level from the individual to the collective and everything in between.

My mom is turning 60 in a few months. In Korean culture, the 60th birthday is called a Hwangap and used to hold (still does? Probably not…) great significance due to the shorter life expectancy of that time. My mom’s 60th birthday means a lot to me moreso because she recently admitted to me that after my dad died, she used to pray that God give her the strength to live just two more years so that she could send her youngest child off to college. But that recently she has started to pray that God give her the health to live as long as he wills because she has come to enjoy this life he has given her. My mom has lived through a lot of trauma in her life… and I mean more than the average immigrant parent of that generation. I want the world for her and know that turning 60 is just another year closer to the inevitable. As E and I continue to consider a life of m work, how do I balance being a loving and dutiful daughter to both my earthly parent and also my heavenly one?

My husband and I are coming out of the tectonic shock of two sinners coming together to die to each other and reflect Christ to one another. And are thoughtfully continuing to pray through what or where He is calling us to. Oh, and trying to think through our family planning timeline.

As I think a lot of the future, I wonder a lot about who I want my kids to be. What I want them to become. I think of my friends who genuinely love the Lord and live “average” lives. They are not the top [earthly] earners amongst my friends but I know the treasures they must be storing in heaven are magnificent. I want my kids to be like them. Kind, gentle, sharp and shrewd as serpents, innocent as doves, smart, capable, strong, and meek. I’d like to think public school, homeschooling in foreign countries, sacrificially living, and having a strong marriage are enough. But so much seems undetermined and out of our control. We won’t know until we get there. So I sit in that tension of trust and also being prepared. As I oscillate between the two, I get frustrated that E is a lot more “go with the flow” kind of guy and not as internally conflicted as I am. Deep down, I know he is thoughtful in his own way and just expresses it differently than I do.

I want to post something on IG that shows all of these thoughts and the ones I haven’t even begun to process, like Tim Keller’s death. But I know that’s not the place for this stuff… and so I just don’t end up posting anything.

What is it that I want to post? Something that captures what? If I could sum it up in bullet points…

Life is weird.

I miss my friends (DC in TX, TH in NY). I’m super thankful for the friends I have locally. I know these are lifelong friends that know no physical bounds. Can’t wait to have coffee in heaven and catch up on life.

Gratitude. I’ve been feeling really thankful lately.

Choice……… the paradox of choice, the illusion of control, the paralysis by analysis…

I just want my kids to be smart and kind. And strong.

I used to want to speed up life. And now I’m not quite wanting to slow it down or stop the train necessarily… but I am definitely swallowing a lot of air due to my open mouth and the speed it is going.

Man, I am really out of practice in putting my words onto paper and organizing my thoughts coherently.

I found this article while I was looking up the lyrics of “Stop This Train” by John Mayer.

And it is an excellent article that resonates within my bones. I thought about writing something similar and then I couldn’t separate my own thoughts from the author’s so I thought it might be best to just link it. So here it is: https://crosspoint.tv/stop-this-train/

Here are some additional thoughts:

I’m glad E and I went through a season without children. It was (is?) hard in some ways and gave me so much empathy for folks who are not on the married with kids trajectory that the rest of the world is on.

Something about the youth and mentoring them and really finding it hard to feel like I have any wisdom to impart when I am still trying to figure life out… but also talking to them and wanting so badly to help them in their figuring life out too.

Gratitude. Again.

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thedawningofthehour · 6 months

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Hey...

I've been thinking about this for a while, but how do you feel that your war in the fic will sync up with the one in real life? I'm not trying to be funny or anything, but it's still interesting.... To say the least. It's just that it's been over a week now, and it's hard... I remember at the beginning of all this I got into a very stressful fight with one of my super religious aunts, I was raised catholic, made my first communion and everything, but yeah, it was a mess. It doesn't help that my family is prone to go by what the media says.

(I still can't get over that time when my mom told me that popcorn caused cancer because she saw it on a facebook post or something).

I talked a bit more about my religious background in a Castlevania post I reblogged not too long ago.

This current big conflict does not affect me directly, my country has nothing to do with it the closest we came to this conflict was a long time ago when our former president cursed Israel on public television.

But it is still hard, to see all those images, glimpses of those videos, all those news and people justifying and lying shamelessly about it and not being able to do anything, but express an opinion on the internet and hope someone will see it, and on top of that not even being able to talk to your family about it because it would be a disaster again.

We are at the end of 2023 and everything sucks.

I've been kind of avoiding talking about or even reblogging stuff on my main about the Israel-Palestine conflict because it's just...it's so much. Everything is terrible everywhere in the world and I am exhausted. I dislike the notion that everyone needs to 'speak out' about every travesty that goes on, I find it very performative and ultimately unhelpful and even distracting at times, especially considering most people do not have the knowledge or tact to address something like this, even as a performative gesture.

Like, I've read a lot, and I do remember having a unit on Israel-Palestine back in high school, but that would have been 2010-2011. And it was one unit, in a high school level social studies class. I am not nearly informed enough to talk about it with the tact it deserves or say anything about it that hasn't been said already. It's difficult to even get into because so much is Zionist bullshit or anti-Semitic propaganda-though the racists have seems to dispose of the anti-Semitism in favor of Islamophobia for now. (I mean, not surprising, they also buddy up with Muslims when it comes to oppressing gays and pretend to be friends with gay people when it comes to trans people) It's just...a lot. And it hurts.

I obviously did not plan for there to be a real-life war with honestly sort of unnerving parallels to Draxum's war-I just had very, very poor timing. Same thing when I was writing my Dishonored fic and COVID happened. I mean, the Ukraine war was also going on when I started this fic, but that still felt very different and by that point we were all feeling very hopeful about Ukraine. Part of me feels like it's disrespectful to even talk about this stuff in relation to my shitty fanfiction. But at the same time I still cite other conflicts and genocides and all sorts of horrible shit in my world-building, and those people had names too.

I don't plan to sync anything up specifically with current conflicts. Some parts are going to feel relatable considering what's going on now, because this conflict really doesn't teach us anything new about war. The horror, complexity, and ultimately futility of war is a major theme in my work, and I strive to portray it with the weight it deserves. War is awful. People die. They die horrifically, they die quietly, they die unheroic and undeserving deaths. They die needlessly and they die inside even if their body survives. War has always been the same. It is suffering and death and filth. I will not co-op what's happening in Palestine to talk about my fanfiction. But if aspects of my story makes you relate to what's happening over there, I'll consider that a mark that I've done my job right. Ideally, that's what fiction should strive to do.

#sorry i usually keep the overtly political stuff on main #i've been thinking i should say something about the parallels but it didn't want it to sound like i was making fun of it #especially considering i do have a very dark sense of humor and i know that often doesn't come through well over the internet #doth asks

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bop-culture · 1 year

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“You do not have to be good”: A Consideration of Sugar Ray’s “Fly”

When we were toddlers, my twin sister and I would climb to the top of our dad’s busted-ass recliner, frantically doggy-paddle our hands in the air, and participate in a shared delusion that we could fly. We’d plan our flights in advance, through places as exotic as the woods in our backyard and the church nursery, and report back to each other on the ground to verify the truth of our ability. It is remarkable how the human brain can adapt to survive harm: now that I am far removed from the fearful, angry house we lived in, it seems obvious that our pretending was a four-year-old’s magical form of dissociation.

We lost our aerial gifts around the time we began Kindergarten in 1997. That same year, Sugar Ray had their first hit with “Fly.” It was undoubtedly a staple of the boombox radio at our local pool in the summers, but lay dormant in my subconscious for decades until a recent vivid dream in which I argued its greatness in a perplexing attempt to impress a crush. It is a well-known schtick of mine to passionately defend pieces of pop culture deemed low-brow (see: Mariah Carey’s Glitter, the Real Housewives franchise, the Josie and the Pussycats soundtrack) but the question of “Fly” followed into my waking hours: could it, in fact, be a good song?

“Fly” and its accompanying music video are a free-association exercise in musical trends of the late nineties and early aughts. The song starts with a simple, repetitive bass riff (The Breeders). The band has a DJ (Incubus). Jamaican dancehall legend Super Cat makes a baffling yet compelling guest appearance (Shaggy). The music video features an extended bit of lead singer Mark McGrath traversing the walls and ceiling of a small room (Jamiroquai). Band members wear flashy pants and have an obscene amount of gelled hair and carefully trimmed goatees (Smash Mouth). But despite being endlessly referential (or in some cases, prescient), the overall effect is both like every local garage band and like nothing else in pop radio.

For all his outward appearances of douchebaggery, lead singer Mark McGrath contains multitudes. According to genius.com, “Fly’s” opening lyric, “All around the world/statues crumble for me” could be an allusion to Shelley’s “Ozymandius.” This is perhaps a generous reading, but it nonetheless warms my heart to consider the possibility that a man who has said that he got into music to pick up chicks has a healthy respect for English Romantic poetry. (He also has a healthy respect for matriarchy. The lyrics frequently reference moms, and the moving conclusion of the “Fly” video sees the members of Sugar Ray exit a car to meet their assembled mothers.)

Sugar Ray, a band whose oeuvre includes a 2009 album entitled Music for Cougars, has never taken themselves too seriously. They’re a bunch of dudes who got a record deal at a time when a bar cover band with two songs could get a record deal. In a world of self-important songwriters, there’s something to be said for music that doesn’t try too hard. The vocals are out of tune, the iconic guitar riff seems to be composed specifically to sound kind of shitty, the production veers abruptly into disjointed segments (Synthesizers! Spoken word! Compressed drum tracks!) with little cohesive vision. It’s sloppy, it’s human, it’s charmingly approachable. Life doesn’t always have to be profound- wouldn’t that be exhausting?

McGrath has explained in interviews that the line “25 years old/ my mother god rest her soul” is a reference to the iconic Gilbert O’Sullivan single “Alone Again, Naturally,” widely regarded to be the most depressing pop song ever recorded. (Cass Elliot’s version is sublime, by the way.) “Fly” is about nothing, but it’s also about death! (“No one really knows/the starting or the end.”) There’s something beautifully democratic about a mediocre band vibing to what is essentially the dirtbag interpretation of a gospel standard. In the end, it doesn’t matter if “Fly” passes any test of musical quality. An attempt to evaluate its merit misses the point. Love cannot be earned: put your arms around me, baby.

#Sugar Ray #music criticism #personal essay #lovable dirtbags

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strobarium · 1 month

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big on introspective, ambient downtempo? come with me...

"History" from Sonic Mega Collection (& Plus)

... FUCK. FUUUUUCKING HELL.

i don't remember the exact year i got introduced to Sonic Mega Collection Plus (the PS2 version, since that's the console that only dominated my kid years) but it was a constant force of good in my early years. being able to play that many sonic games just freely (on top of other games that werent sonic games but were by the same devs) was so fucking nice. but the menu shit was just. something else to me-they put so much care and effort into the presentation of games!!! like the journey TO playing was even a nice comfy ride! so CASH. i miss THIS sega so much. what an era. damn.

many a memory playing this shit or watching it get played either in my shared bedroom w/ my older brother or in the upstairs living room w/ mom and/or grandma watching (this sonic shit ran in the family pmuch LOL my parents n grandma got into em before we did). one of my fondest memories regarding it was my i think, longest-running active friend lyko/khaliq seeing my i think oldest sibling playing S3&K (one of the greatest. games of all time by the way) and beating it. bro saw the ending cutscene and was Flabbergasted w how cool it was, already riding off the high (that i was also riding off of) watching Doomsday Zone get played. SUPER, FUCKING HYPE. LOL. amazing shit. the collection is worth it for it having That Alone but also THERES SO MUCH COOL SHIT ON IT!

YEAH!!! ... i'm glad i can listen to this normally again.

this was one of many songs i just couldn't put on and sit through after the 2013 event happened and my life got fucked into a hole. it was exhausting and would just leave me really depressed. things are at least different now, over 10 years later, i can enjoy this n sorta feel like a kid again healthily, i guess. its nice.

reminds me of something

so one thing abt the PS2s we did have (there were two, two slim models), shit was just Faulty after long enough. one basically picked and choosed games it wanted to run (that or the CDs were fucked up or...idk) and the other you had to like. induce pressure on the disk drive part to get games to run properly?... it was weird.

WELL, SOMEHOW, through basic i guess DIY shit or whatever, at one point (post-2013 event) i got the fucking console working! AND I GOT SONIC MEGA COLLECTION PLUS WORKING TOO! blast from the ...actually not at all distant PAST! it was cool being in the menu again hearing the music and goin around and looking at all the extras and stuff. seeing sonic n his friends just always makes me happy.

I BOOTED UP S3&K FOR OLD TIMES SAKE CAUSE OF COURSE I DID! HYDROCITY ZONE!!! ONE OF MY FAV VIDEO GAME SONGS EVER i was having SO Much.... fun...

slow, burn. realization. i was alone.

reliving hella cool shit but it was just me. older brother was off doing whatever the hell (not like i wanted to summon him anyway he was kind of fucking just...idk), and oldest sibling was just kind of, across the fucking country so i couldnt hit them up either. the finite nature of what i considered the most joyous period of my life i wasnt prepared to interface with and it just fucking, stabbed me so gradually i didnt even notice the pain onset somehow until it was too late. fuck. regardless of me doing what i did, that part of my life was still over. trying to recapture the magic just made me ever more aware that i had lost it, i guess. it was tough.

i, shut the game off, silently, go downstairs to my moms room and just, talk to her a little about how i. got it working. i just, lay on her bed next to her and i just. i start crying. for a while. not loud sobbing just. idk. quiet weeping. idk.

...

things are different now, is what matters. lot i've recovered from, but i do still miss playing it with my siblings. shrug. life goes on i guess.

~ E.K.S.G.

#come with me (cc)#song recommendation #music #downtempo #video game music #ambient

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incrediblesweatermachine · 3 months

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i love how nobody i live with puts any effort into thinking about how their words and actions might make me feel or like considering how i might feel and how that might affect MY words and actions. it is such a good and healthy environment i love it ❤️ as an autistic person i find it super helpful to live with people who never say what they mean and assume that i am also not saying what i mean even though i say exactly what i mean all the time except when im using my therapy training to hold my tongue and not say something mean and maybe everyone could fucking get on board with this it is NOT that hard to be straightforward. and just say what your problem is because honestly if someone has a problem with something im doing or saying i cant wver explain myself and then people will just be mad at me or judging me without ever considering that maybe i have a reason for what im doing. also it fucking sucks that i try to offer like practical solutions to shit that ACTUALLY considers everyones stated and perceived feelings and opinions. but when im having an issue and could use some solutions everyone is like trying to make my problem disappear from view and not actually be solved. They just dont want to see my problems not actually like. solve them in any way. or actually help me solve them myself. its clear that my grief doesnt matter my depression doesnt matter my feelings dont matter except for the ways in whicj they make people feel uncomfortable. i told my dad i was suicidal and he told me he was more worried about other stuff and i shouldnt say that to him. it didnt matter that i was in so much pain that i didnt see any other options than ending my life it mattered that HE was uncomfortable discussing it. it doesnt matter that it hasnt even been a week since my extremely beloved cat died because everyone else is over it. the flowers my relatives sent me are still FRESH but i should be over it and back to normal. even though i havent missed any work and ive tried to get at least one thing done every day outside of work and cooked for everyone multiple times its somehow not enough. and on top of that im in so much physical pain its unbelievable. im consistently at like a 6 or 7 and completely stiff and have a hard time walking or anything but if anyones concerned they sure havent shown it!!!!! i try really hard every day and i do what my mom asks me to as much as i can and i try to be kind and polite and it just doesnt fucking change anything

#listening to my dad everyday just reinforces my misandry ngl!!!!!

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