my lorax au once-ler (Drug-Ler/Junk-Ler/Weed-Ler/Addict-Ler or just Torchalkins)
translation of the interview 1997:
Jane: We haven't been able to contact You for a long time. Are You always so busy, or is there some other reason?
Once-ler: Yes, I work all the time. The corporation isn't standing still. I'm directly involved in the development of new and more advanced 'drugs' .
Jane: Is 'Dr.' Moore after all?
Once-ler: (laughs) You could say that.
Jane: The our article title is 'Sweet 16x2'. How do You feel at 32?
Once-ler: I feel great. I can't believe it's been so long! This age was always seemed unattainable and very far away to me. Especially at the 16.
Jane: The article should have been called 'Sweet 16'!
Once-ler: (laughs) maybe!
Jane: You haven't changed much. What's the secret?
Once-ler: There are no secrets. I just don't drink or get drugs.
Jane: That's good. Now many people are addicted. Especially teenagers.
Once-ler: It scares me.
Jane: Is Your company RSGS MED CORP aimed at combating teenage alcoholism and drug addiction?
Once-ler: Yes, that's right. It needs to be eradicated.
Jane: I like Your attitude!
Once-ler: Likewise, Jane.
Jane: It's great that You took the time for a little interview. You haven't appeared on TV since the 1990s. What is the reason?
Once-ler: I try to exclude TV from my life. It spoils the nerves. There are no promising shows for me at the moment where I would like to appear.
Jane: Mr. Moore, You have become a sex symbol of the 80s. It's already the 97th year, and You still remain the idol for teens. Tell us about Your views on life.
Once-ler: I think everyone should appreciate the time that God has given us. Every second should be spent usefully. Communication gives us a lot. You need to strive to get to know new people in order to gain experience from them. Of course, the most important thing in life is mental balance, career and family.
Jane: (laughs) arranged in decreasing order of importance for You?
Once-ler: (laughs) Almost.
Jane: My newspaper has received a lot of questions from fans about what You're listening to. Tell us about Your favorite musicians.
Once-ler: I really like Prince!
Jane: Exactly, how could I forget. You have his guitar?
Once-ler: Yes, yes!
Jane: A gift?
Once-ler: Yes, we contacted.
Jane: Which his song do You like the most?
Once-ler: 'Soft and Wet'.
Jane: (laughs) Exotic and sexy!
Jane: In '89 You released Your album under the label 'Crystal', and in '91 You starred in the musical 'Go Billy Gox3'. What was the reason to stop trying to enter a musical career?
Once-ler: Perhaps a criticism. You know, I've always loved funk and rhythm-and-blues more, but my voice is too low to compete with Sly & the Family Stone or Talking Heads.
Jane: I think You'll find Your genre!
Once-ler: (laughs) No, no, I'm not into music.
Jane: You've been in three films. Are You planning to shoot more?
Once-ler: I would like to. So far, there are no scripts that I like.
Jane: Really?!
Once-ler: Alas!
Jane: Tell us about Your favorite actors and films.
Once-ler: Audrey and Ted Wiggins definitely!
Jane: Such a quick response. What kind of paintings do you like with them?
Once-ler: 'Sweet Blood'. All the parts.
Jane: Wow!
Once-ler: I like the theme of inquisitions and steampunk... and vampires, of course! (laughs)
Jane: What do You think about the progressive-anarchic views of life of young people?
Once-ler: I think this is maximalism.
Jane: Were you like that?
Once-ler: Perhaps! It's just that my environment is enviably full of aggressive fanatics. I know you're going to read this, American!
Jane: (laughs) Is there a problem with your cousin?
Once-ler: Conflicts of worldviews.
Jane: You have a direct influence on American politics. Why haven't You been running for president yet?
Once-ler: I'm a pharmacist. I doubt that I can make America strong if I become president.
Jane: Are You a patriot?
Once-ler: True. I protect my homeland from people like me. (laughs)
Jane: Tell readers Your favorite books.
Once-ler: Read McDonagh.
Jane: The Scotsman?
Once-ler: The Irishman. But it seems to me that these are familiar problems for our country.
Jane: You've written two books about finding yourself. Is this an important issue for You?
Once-ler: Very much. As I said before, balance in the soul is a balance in life.
Jane: It's inspiring!
Jane: Are You still single? Or have You got a partner?
Once-ler: I haven't found the right person for me yet.
Jane: In the future, can I leave you my number? (laughs)
Once-ler: I'm yours! (laughs)
Jane: We don't know much about Your personal life outside of the media amplua. Why is that?
Once-ler: I prefer to be in the circle of friends and family without prying eyes.
Jane: Do You like being alone?
Once-ler: Perhaps…
Jane: Thank You, Mr. Moore!
Once-ler: It was a pleasure to answer Your questions!
Jane: You're very sweet. You seem so serious on TV!
Once-ler: Really?! How embarrassing…
Jane: It's even entertaining!
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