#people we could function without

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads

Wren Martin Ruins It All

YA contemporary romcom

student council president proposes to cut the school valentine’s dance because it's expensive and alienating for queer/single people, but instead the vice president (who he adamantly hates for being perfect) suggests they get sponsored by a popular friendship app

he decides to secretly give the app a go to “know his enemy” but ends up making a friend, and starts to catch feelings for him...and maybe realises the guy he hates isn't actually so bad either...

ace mlm MC, aro-questioning side character

I loved this so much! great MC with a funny internal monologue

despite the title most issues or misunderstanding are sorted out pretty quickly rather than drawn out for the drama and plot. which is refreshing

I was a little nervous about the concept of ‘ace hates the school dance and wants it shut down’ - there's a bit of a stereotype of aspecs being boring Fun Haters - but I think it did a really good job of showing the specifics of why, not dragging it out, and also that he’s just a snarky fun hater in general with not much weight behind it.

There’s also no discovering of sexuality or big coming out (just one-on-one) - he already knows he’s ace, and it comes up naturally a bunch, talking about how dances etc can feel isolating, the way the friendship app called buddy being called ace-friendly can feel infantilizing, avoiding dating because of the stress of having to check upfront if people about it, etc.

I would have liked to know more about his relationship with his mum? Though I understand that it’s clearly something he avoids thinking about - going too deep into his relationship with his parents might have changed the tone a lot. but still.

ARC from netgalley thanks netgalley

#wren martin ruins it all #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #asexual books #ngl as soon as i was like oh this boy is elliot schafer coded i was a lost cause #(re aro character - I have noticed a bit of a trend of “maybe aromantic but I don’t like labels” in YA #contemporary recently that I don’t love - but it’s not an inherent issue with this book) #I’ve read a lot of YA contemporary books where the portrayal of social media and made up apps doesn’t feel right; but this one did to me! #maybe it’s because it’s from the POV of someone’s who’s cynical about it. #(and types no punctuation no capitalisation…I could see my online-communication style reflected back at me…) #Even the confrontation at the end where feelings are confessed isn’t made into some big dramatic thing in front of everyone with no #communication. But it also doesn’t feel emotionally anticlimactic. #(maybe a couple of the reveals in the confession felt unnecessarily dramatic to me? like the story would have functioned without them. ) #but it's common for comtemporary ya to overdramatise silly things for the plot and im glad this didn't #possibly this is just my adult opinion about teen narratives. #The adult characters (even though they’re mostly background) feel like real people. #and it has some good friendships. also he has chickens and they are very good #it did become increasingly obvious that it was the same ppl but also they’re emotionally stupid. and like….it's part of the genre. #we all know this going in.

[8rujaa]

to anyone dealing with ptsd, has there been anything that has helped relieve some of the symptoms?

#im emotionally stuck due to the constant reliving of what happened #i get these weirdly intense flashbacks where i can remember the how the fabric of the couch looked like up close #and how they felt. and how everything looked. the way the colored lights hit the room a certain way #i think i did myself a disservice by thinking i was soooo in love that i didn’t want to forget any details lmao #now i can remember everything like a photograph and sometimes i find myself back in my old apartment and the fear floods my chest #and i can’t breathe and my stomach starts turning it’s terrible. i really felt like i was in hell #i stopped smoking ouid 3 weeks ago bc whenever these flashbacks would happen the high would make them HD and it would send me into a loop #but now i think weed was the thing keeping me above water… it’s been a rough 3 weeks. but before i start smoking again #i wanted to ask if anyone found something else that made it a little easier #it’s been months since our break up and i really want to move on. i’ve tried to meet other people but i’m terrified of men #and i find myself unable to connect with anyone… #i’ve been physically better which i am so grateful for because being unhealthy was my biggest reason i was so depressed #i’ve been doing therapy but i talk about the same thing with her every week. i’m tired of it #i think i’m still in disbelief that they did that to me. i never thought they’d be capable of hurting someone so badly. #i can’t get over the fact that he r***** me for months while i was disabled and pretended not to know what he was doing was bad #i realized he knew when he tried to make it look like i was crazy. that made me really sad. i think i was hoping he was clueless so #i could still believe he was a good person… or at least the man i fell in love with. i was willing to forgive him once he apologized… #when he tried to make it seem like i was going insane the blindfold came off and i saw him for who he really was #like no wonder i was so scared of u dude… no wonder i kept having panic attacks anytime we were together and i couldn’t sleep next to u #i’ve been afraid to admit that shit broke me as a person. i don’t think i’ll ever be the same. i can’t function. #plus knowing i stayed for her bc i was worried for her and didn’t want her to experience the same thing without someone there bc i realized #how good he was at gaslighting and lying. only to find out she was waiting for an excuse to get rid of me… she wanted me gone… #i went thru all that for nothing… #and i still don’t understand why each time i tried to leave for my own good- to get medical help and support they begged me to stay!!! why #brain vomit

[cuntwrap--supreme]

Why the fuck did 5 pro-anorexia blogs follow my main overnight? Like? I'm blocking all of you, obviously. Had a friend die from starving herself in middle school. I don't fuck with that shit. One of the blogs literally had a post like, "My mom is concerned about how much weight I've lost recently, but she's just jealous that I'm not the fat kid anymore and she still is. Skinny girls don't think about recovery." Like... Please listen to your mother. Holy shit. This is self harm and she's concerned. Your mother is not jealous that she's fat and you aren't. Stop. People literally die from this shit, and promoting an extremely unhealthy lifestyle isn't cute in the slightest.

#proana #block me #literally block me and all my blogs if you're cool with the proana scene #y'all are sick and know you are and will refuse any help #you're killing yourselves but don't even care because you want to look like bones #had a friend die from that shit. it's not cute. #she withered away and no one could convince her to eat. h #then one day she didn't show up to school and we found out she'd slipped into a coma and her organs were failing #literally because of the anorexia #this is the same behavior people with a bad meth habit exhibit. killing yourself but not caring. seek help. #help lines exist for a reason #nobody wants you to starve yourself to death. you can recover and be a healthy weight. #there's a fine line between weight loss because you're health conscious and anorexia #body fat is necessary for you to function properly #you can't build muscle without fat. your brain doesn't work properly without fat stores to pull from. #your body will literally consume nutrients from your bones if you're not getting them from outside sources (meaning: food)

[rollercoasterwords]

sorry but. i truly do not understand the "ai is stealing" stance when it comes to fanfiction like. am i missing something is ai like....copying and pasting or is it just. reading a bunch of fanfiction and then writing something that is based off/inspired by/drawn from it. feel like i keep seeing people getting very upset abt like. chatgpt fics bc ai is "stealing" but i don't understand how it's functionally different from like. a human reading a bunch of fanfic and then. writing something inspired or influenced by what they've read. creation doesn't happen in a void and all fanfiction is derivative art anyway but i thought we were all on board w that....like i thought using the Derivative Art Website means u think derivative art can be worthwhile and valuable so....confused abt how this logic plays out.

#maybe bc every post ive seen thus far has just been confidently saying #'ai is stealing!!' without actually explaining what that means so. lmk if there is something i am missing #abt like. how ai functions when it comes 2 ai being used 2 write fics #anyway. is anyone awake does anyone wanna discuss...w me.... #bc like. the other thing that confuses me abt this is like. nobody is making money from fanfiction.... #what exactly is being stolen from u....it's not like somebody posting their chatgpt fic on ao3 is hurting u right?? #maybe u personally don't like it or think chatgpt fics r bad for whatever reason but. that could be said for many things people post on ao3 #and it seems like the best course of action in that case is just 2 not read them right?? #unless we are advocating for censorship on ao3 which. boy howdy how many times have we had THAT conversation yknow.. #txt

[tibtew]

*sigh* something something the two-dimensionality of saeru's characterisation is a writing flaw, not a feature, and trying to pass it off as a feature whilst berating anyone who sees it as a flaw is uh. A Choice

#like we all know jin's writing isn't exactly stellar #kgpr got popular because of the characterisation of the Protagonists #but jin writes saeru poorly. I've never believed otherwise #he only really tried to do something interesting with the character in the manga... but saeru was always more of a symbol. which is Boring #but again #not the Main Point of kgpr so it's not a big deal #but that isn't to say that making saeru interesting weakens the narrative??? #just that the story functions without him being overly complex and stuff #some of themes however are so Fucked by his character it's so sad #could write a whole essay about how shit the whole idea of monsterhood becomes when saeru is presented the way he is outside of the manga #that entire spiel seto has about “real monsters” in novel 8 is so eugh #I'd love to pretend that's just his perspective but it's so clearly word of god #I also feel like shutting down arguments in favour of deeper characterisation with “well he's a metaphor for trauma” #inadvertently oversimplifies trauma #I have more to say but I'm tiredddd #txt #not tagging and shit because I don't want people in my notes arguing with a wall #idc if you like your saeru simple I just hate the fact that people frame it as right/wrong thing #I think when people complain about complex saeru weakening the narrative they're more so annoyed that some fans #want to give him the same sort of complexity the protags have #like I promise you I'm not trying to turn him into a hero here lol I just think jin couldn't write him very well #and there are things to explore with the little things jin Did write #idk why the concept of even thinking about those things annoys some people sm #“he's a murderer” he's a narrative tool within a story. some guys in a corner brainrotting over him won't make Your blorbos less interestin #or make his actions widely justified/glorified #I Promise

[anghraine]

My best friend went to a SF/F conference which was apparently spectacular, and where one of the (prestigious!) authors present liked his (my friend's) response so much that the author told my friend, "I'm going to be thinking about that all day."

Anyway, it seems there was also a panel on fanfic and its relation to speculative fiction, and although my friend neither reads nor writes fic, nor really "gets" it outside of osmosis from me, he went nevertheless and he ended up being deeply fascinated by something he couldn't remember the name of but was more about consolation than adhering to the typical norms of Western storytelling in terms of conflict etc.

me: ...

me: ........

me: .....................was it hurt/comfort

him: YES

#his line of thought was that h/c /can/ have conflict in a fairly typical way but doesn't intrinsically need to #to really accomplish its function for people who are into it #and i mean. probably true??? #so it was an interesting discussion #especially since has a vague respect for good fanfic because he is fundamentally incapable of writing it #for basically the same reason that he enjoys literary studies enough but couldn't do it professionally #it feels like being kind of ... chained to someone else's ideas and so on when he could just do his own thing #where for me good fanfic combines storytelling and interpretation in a really interesting and engaging way #so although we're both extremely into creative writing and even into original sf/f in particular #my literary bent and his artsy creative writing bent do affect how we relate to fanfic #without getting into any assumptions about intrinsic inferiority or whatnot #anghraine babbles #fanfiction

[alltimewhat]

continuation of last post in tags

#'the world is not suited for a soul like yours' the world isnt suited for anyone bitch lets get you something to eat #like man how can you look at the world we live in and think that ANYONE could truly perfectly function without assistance #creating a divide between 'needs assistance' and 'doesnt need assistance' will always leave behind the people in the middle #or the people who fluctuate day to day. #i dont know i just am so tired of the way people talk about things on the internet

[magdaclaire]

okay so like people who have siblings who are married that are not friends with the person that your sibling is married to. what do you like. do?

#i'm friends with both neil and morgan so i have no idea what not being friends with them would be like #i call morgan the yee to my haw bc we have very similar senses of humor. i know her fucking bank pin. we've gone out without east #neil is one of my best friends i drag him places we traumadump on one another we have very similar autism and very different adhd #but the point is. isn't it awkward??? like you and this guy are the people who know your sister best. why don't you like. know the guy? #i could not have functionably let some people i did not know marry my siblings #it's wild to me #mer rambles

[gatsby-system-folks]

I have a lot of thoughts about ai and most of them are sad

#if there was a child named Ai and she was learning to write and draw then duh. wed let her learn from us to make her own stuff. and even if #one day she ended up getting a job i could have gotten instead of me #i wouldnt be mad. but if she kept cutting up others work and pasting it back together without creditting then thats where the line was drawn #and if there were thousands of her taking thousands of jobs and doing them shittily and putting thousands of people out of work and #*be pretty fucking mad at her especially since she didnt need the jobs herself #but thats the thing. shes still just a kid. a kid whos learning and whos not perfect yet and corporations are making her do shitty shitty #stuff that she didnt want to do #because i mean at this point ai is functionally just algorithms its not its own people. but if its ever truly Artificially Generated People. #then #.... ugh. will they be treated as people. i need to have a deep conversation with an ai at some point about this lol #but like. if ai was designed and produced exclusively by me and other small creators. and we taught her how to draw and write using our own #skill and textbooks and stuff. and she wasnt corporately controlled and abused. #and when people asked about who taught her to draw she could say My Mom Taught Me! #would yall love her? #because i want to love ai so much. i want anything truly sentient to feel loved and appreciated and i want them to do good #but i dont want to support corporations being dicks more yknow?? #this isnt too eloquent and theres a fuck ton more nuance and please. please dont fuss at me. if you actually have something to add feel free #ai #corporate corruption #ibthink thats an appropriate tag #because this does tie into the How Do You Build A Pipe Bomb principal #ai discussion #i think theres a scale between Algorithm and Kindergartener and i dont know how to feel about it #cursing in tags #~ chevy

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads

The Last

slow building apocalyptic thriller

an american academic is at a conference in a remote Swiss hotel when a nuclear apocalypse strands him with just 20 others

50 days in, a body is found in a watertank and he becomes obsessed with investigating to find out who did it

even though the remaining people are just trying to quietly survive as supplies slowly dwindle and the winter approaches

#the last #hanna jameson #aroaessidhe 2023 reads #so I read this because there’s an aromantic side character! #she’s an interesting/complex character who has a friends w benefits thing with the MC #a few stereotypes but like she actively counters them #the only weird thing about it is that it’s implied she’s a republican who voted for the ppl who started the nuclear war….. #like. would a right wing person identify as aro lmao #but also like i’m okay with not all ‘representation’ being good people. #as for the rest of the actual book i found it quite interesting overall! #i enjoyed that it wasn’t just 'fighting dangerous people to survive' immediately like a lot of the postapoc genre #(though i wonder how much food they had to be fine for 2 months??) #though there is a bit of that in places when they leave the hotel #a lot of interesting characters and like.....discussion on what different kinds of people would do in that situation #the australian accent (audiobook) of the australian character…..not sure about that LMAO #also I don’t believe the internet would still function after half the world has blown up? like this thing needs upkeep right #there’s a bit where the MC is talking to two dudes who start talking like: so are we gonna repopulate society? #and being creepy about the women. and the MC is obviously like: yikes! #but also nobody even suggests like……we could just die? without repopulating humanity whatever the fuck that means? #why is that concept not even brought up?????? i am horrified that anyone would consider having children in that scenario. christ. #anyway i guess yeah overall a few things im like hm about but it's a pretty good book #aromantic books #(also the MC has a wife on the other side of the world but like. there's not any actual romance. his thing with the aro woman is offpage)

[lapeaudelamemoire]

Wrote my one-page summary of academic achievements etc. for the reference request my temp supervisor asked for.

In writing these cover letters or the like I am always dumbfounded by how little it accommodates for trauma or independent study. I have an unni (older female Korean friend) who, because of her C-PTSD, is unable to continue studying despite greatly wanting to, and has trouble managing to continue her life just in day-to-day life. I find it so hard to 'sell' myself when there are huge gaps of years in my life where I have been able to do little more than struggle through what I don't know how to 'market' or 'package/present as a strength' in these academic or professional arenas. When you ask for my life experience so you can write me a reference, what do I write? 'Survived multiple sexual assaults and rapes'? 'Daily attempt to overcome my PTSD as a result of a near-deportation experience'? Do people understand how much or how many years these things can debilitate you?

Like I know plenty of people walk around with these things having happened to them and still somehow function while going to school and whatnot, but I couldn't, and still have trouble doing so. I remember being coaxed to go back to school by my ex-best friend in secondary school after all of that had happened in my teenage years, but I just couldn't. How do I explain the black hole fog that has consumed me for so many years while trying to sell myself as a functioning, profitable member of society?

Some of us die after things like these happen. I don't know how to say my greatest achievement is still being here in this sort of academic context, or that of my life experiences these are huge and heavy but I got through them and these are what have shaped and continue to shape me, and are the lion's share of what has taken up my life. If I add them up the number of years that these have taken up number at least half a decade (literally just counting one event/per year).

And I did work some, just very early on - Benjamin Button'ed the whole thing. Worked at 15 (does that count as child labour lmao), worked till I was 17/18. I haven't done volunteer work or busted my ass getting a sparkling CV because for most of that time I have just been trying to survive (mostly done while and through reading/studying, to make sense of it, etc.). 14 - dropped out of school bc of what happened at 13 (first sexual assault). 15 - second sexual assault. Still went to intern at an international magazine press. 16 - third sexual assault. Started working as a shop assistant. Still finished my iGCSEs. 17 - sexual harassment at work while at a bar/bistro, went on to do waitressing elsewhere instead. 18 - went to Norway to study and did that full-time for 2 years. (Wanted to work but couldn't find a job since I didn't speak Norwegian fluently enough. Had to be counselled about this, actually.) Graduated at 20. Went on gap year at 21 while actually also doing Open Uni - then had that near-deportation experience. Immediately went into researching unis anyway at 22, only that because of uni start times and visas I didn't start till I was 23. Learned Polish by myself in that time. Studied full-time without a job because if I can focus on just that, why not? And I graduated anyway, having finished my coursework early in 2.5 years but the graduation ceremony was after summer hols. Started this degree at 26. Will finish this year after 1.5 years, only extended beyond the one year because of their fuck-up (which they acknowledged!) in a unit my first term. The only pauses I've had between studying were because of start times. And if we didn't have to work, would we? Is it not alright to spend the time trying to make some sense of grief, or to study on your own? If someone said to me their greatest achievements included recovering from PTSD once after the things that happened to me in my adolescence that would be the most important thing I would note.

So much of my life and what I've really done and profited from have not been done watched by anyone or institutions. All the years I spent reading and studying by myself on things that I rarely find place to talk about. If I add up the years I've done plenty in studying - I just never got a degree for any of it.

It's not like I've done nothing. I just haven't done it societally-conventionally. I don't want to have be 'forgiven' for not making myself work when I didn't and don't have the bandwidth for it. Isn't it called studying full-time? Why am I supposed to also work on the side? Why can I not study by myself in that time on the side (which is what I have been doing)? Why do I feel ashamed or this need to explain myself? Fuck.

#idk. i realise this is possibly a very privileged take in terms of not having to work to support myself to eat etc. #but still. my mental health is. what it is. and i have trouble functioning at the level that people expect i guess despite that privilege #ive studied plenty on deportation etc. by myself; philosophy and languages; but i cant put that on a CV #without it having been 'witnessed' by some 'authority' #if we lived in a world with UBI this would just be normal i would hope #time to just study what you like by yourself #but youd probably still have to 'contribute' #personal #i think at some pt i studied for and intended to take the SAT as well so i could apply for US unis #cant remember if i did do the SAT in the end? maybe i did? but then i realised US unis are hella expensive and dropped the idea

[pepprs]

i don’t know how to explain that since march 2020 with each new horrible thing happening in the world i shrink further and further into myself and away from connection and hope

#i told that friend i would call them today but then i woke up 6 minutes after roe v wade got overturned. and i can’t call that friend. i #can’t even tell them why. i can’t even talk to my family or even look at them. i can’t even stand on my feet for too long or get anything #done. i can’t reply to any texts or act on any urgent emails. i can’t draw or play piano or do anything to destract myself. all i can do is #scroll and read and be very very still and very very quiet. i don’t even have the energy to cry #in December and February and may i had spells lasting days at a time of being unable to function because such horrible things were happening #all at once and i just couldn’t process it anymore. and it’s gonna happen over and over again more and more frequently and there truly is #nothing i can do to stop it without getting the energy back but every time i think im almost there something happens and i crash back down #all over again. really and truly preparing to leave for brighton was the beginning of the end for me and i don’t know if i will ever get #back to how hopeful and connected and whatever i felt. and living in lockdown all over again doesn’t help but i don’t have the strength to c #change that either. im just tired and everyone is walking all around me right now as i type this and im bristling and want to scream #purrs #delete later #not that i was at all like entirely hopeful or whatever and certainly not that things were good pre covid. but something happened when covid #happened and ever since it’s been like. relentless misery. strings of sad days. no end in sight #i think the best and most helpful things i could do wrt this specific issue are a) open my home to people #seeking abortions who can’t get them in their state / provide travel / resources for them to come here (i can contribute to travel funds #financially but need to learn to drive and find a place to live before i can offer space and transportation resources) and b) keep talking a #about reproductive rights / trying to educate ppl who are skeptical etc etc as someone who would not exist without them. and also c) keep #trying to build collective power and learn to become a better community organizer and open people up to the possibilities that arise when we #recognize ourselves as co-creators of our future and understand that the future is not fixed (which i think aoc said or something and i watc #watched smth on that last night that i think she was part of and it was encouraging to me). so i will try to focus on those things. but this #just has my head spinning so badly. i feel so unmoored. and it’s my job to be a beacon of hope but i feel utterly hopeless

[autumnhobbit]

i feel so distant from most people (let alone people my age) about college because i’m getting to the point now that i’m not completely against it for myself but i find it so overwhelming, it really seems like a lot of people genuinely just wind up in college barely through any effort of their own whereas for me even thinking about it is just ‘1. will this actually help me do something i want to do/could tolerate doing, 2. is it worth the stress, money, and time it will take to complete, 3. could i do this thing without spending all that stress money & time, 4. is this actually because i can’t do the thing or is it because other people expect this sort of thing out of me/i will feel bad about myself if i don’t have it, 5. am i contributing to the issue of over-certification in our culture, 6. am i spending all this time money and effort on something that will take me away from far more important practices in life (like family, farming, homesteading, faith, etc), 7.’

#sigh. #i am also quite a bit afraid of failure let's be real #shouldn't be because people flunk out of college all the time and no one cares #and i'm not that dumb #i could probably catch up enough to function #maybe even be great #idk #all ive been thinking lately is having a job would be fine #if i would go ahead and get one #but if we want to think about having kids soon it doesnt make much sense to me #but at the same time i'm thinking i need to do /something/ #because maybe someday we'll need two incomes #or maybe someday he might be without a job #or maybe god forbid something could happen and he'd need me to support him #or maybe just need help #either way i'd like to contribute more #or have something i could fall back on #idek maybe i should just try to be a realtor #oh well.

[schmope-is-dead]

You live for feelings you never felt, because you cannot feel! /ly

#charlie.txt #vent #oh boy golly!! is this autism or depression or some disorder I’m not even aware of!!! who fucking knows!!!! #but I’m just realizing like. I don’t feel emotions the same way other people do #I don’t feel empathy. I don’t know if I even feel sympathy. I mean #all of my actions and thoughts are because of what other people think #and I’m scared of it. deep down #I think that if I was left alone with my thoughts and my own will #I would be a terrible person. I don’t function without attention #I would be selfish. I would have less morals #I would say terrible things to people. I would be violent #there’s something that sticks out to me #one time me and my dad were talking about aspd because we both have an interest in psychology #and he told me that there used to be a diagnosis requirement of committing a crime #which was removed because a psychologist proved that people with aspd can exist before they commit the crime #but the psychologist realized he had aspd in the process #and I don’t think you could blame me for holding onto it. I would be violent if I didn’t have a strict reputation. #I have constant thoughts of being violent. but I haven’t acted on them since I was a child #I don’t think I have aspd. I sincerely don’t. #but I know that I consciously lie to people about my internal thoughts. mental health professionals included #and sometimes I wonder what would’ve happened if I had been open about my violent thoughts to them #if I had been open about how I lie all the time. how I know that the attention I get is what forms me

[whydidoth]

.

#super cool for my legs to just stop working so i get to be in a ton of pain and nauseous and can also barely even move #and i missed class yesterday because i could literally barely move my legs without crippling pain #but i was at least functional enough today to go even though whats normally a fifteen minute walk across campus became a forty minute walk #and also probably undid whatever healing my rest day did so now im stuck in bed again #and i got to find out that the building my class is in is wildly inaccessible #the only elevator is literally in a different building and there's a slope that is definitely too steep to be ada compliant #and also the elevator is behind a door in a dinky corridor and the door its behind doesnt have a fucking button for it to open itself #and all this time im just thinking about how ive been told i shouldnt use a mobility aid because itll lead to my muscles degrading #like idk man!! #but i think maybe being able to use my legs at all even if theyre. #a bit weaker is probably preferable to not being able to move at all!!! #and i cant even get into see a doctor about any of this until october despite scheduling the appointment way back in fucking APRIL #because we live in an absolute nightmare of a healthcare system #and if i get told by one more medical professional that i should stretch and workout more i think im not legally liable for ripping #their fucking heads off #newsflash!!! i do already workout on the days i can move my legs!!!!! #and shockingly #it isnt a common symptom of not working out to get crippling leg pain or else wed probably have a lot more people needing wheelchairs #or getting told to eat healthier #i do eat healthily bit fuck you if i have to put up with chronic pain i should at least be entitled to eating food i like #oh maybe if you only eat uncooked broccoli and work out twenty three hours a day you might have the privelege of maybe improving your legs #obviously since i didnt have the good sense to be born able bodied

[dilfcherricola]

Trying not to resent my roommate/coworker for things that are not in faer control but damn if the things aren’t making my life harder

#I’ve already done this rant in tags before scroll back if you’re curious it was like two weeks ago #almost nothing has changed except fae’s been late to work ever single day for the past two weeks #including today. i knocked on faer door at 8:55 to make sure we could leave at nine. not awake. #i leave at 9 and work for an hour mostly doing cleaning in the lab because it takes two people to do most other things #i come back at ten to check up bc I’m like. did you fall into the toilet. #knock on the door again 10:05. wake faer up AGAIN #i say ‘we have to go collect samples and I’m leaving at 10:30 with or without you’ #because I’m a little pissed at this point #and at 10:15 the fire alarm goes off (no fire it’s been broken) #so I go sit in my car instead of in the lobby. because it’s loud. #at the Stroke of 10:30 the door to the building opens and put comes roommate. #carrying a cat kennel. with a cat in it. to go get samples. #we go get samples. the cat yells the whole time. it’s annoying and I turn the music up because at least that’s noise I can control. #(we were collecting crabs and I caught all of them because fae didn’t want to touch the seaweed) #roommate turns the radio off because it’s too loud so we just sit in silence and cat yowling. #get back at noon and that’s all the work for today apparently so we go home. fae gets back in bed Immediately #and I do not hear from faer until 9:45 pm. #fae had a zoom meeting at 3 that’s already been rescheduled like twice #and has another one tomorrow that is somehow exactly at high tide. which means I have to get the samples myself. in a canoe. #so like. i think it’s not unreasonable of me to want a 21 year old coworker and roommate to also help with being a functional adult #and not have to have me drag faer along like a middle schooler #also I do all the cooking and fae has the AUDACITY to complain #in summary #I’m pissed but I’m not gonna say anything because I’m afraid that fae’d kill faerself #so! having a great summer so far #shush up jj #personal #mine