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bettsfic · 2 years

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today is my birthday! i’m 33 today and i have done an ungodly amount of stupid shit in my life that honestly probably should have gotten me killed. so here are 33 hard-won things i’ve learned that i wish someone had told me sooner.

whenever you buy an object, you are going to own that object for your entire life unless you make the conscious decision to throw it away or give it a new home. maybe other people don’t struggle with this as much as i do, but i’ve grown to become a little exhausted by finding a thing and realizing i don’t want it anymore, but i don’t have the energy or motivation to do anything with it. signed, a woman with a packed 10x10 storage unit who is now extremely hesitant to buy new things.

food, and by that i mean good food (and by that i don’t necessarily mean healthy food, but food of good quality that you love), is necessary to live, and buying it, preparing it, and eating it is not a chore. the sooner you accept this and make food a priority in your life, the healthier you’ll be.

speaking of food, not everything you buy should be the cheapest version of it. personally i’ve found it’s always worth it to splurge on good olive oil, butter, and canned tomatoes. for years i thought i was an awful cook because i was cooking with cheap, disgusting olive oil that made my food taste like shit.

speaking of food part 2, i can’t BELIEVE how long this took me to figure out, but mise en place is the real real. get your shit out and organized and prepped *before* you start cooking, even if it makes things take longer. and yes, it is always worth it to do the dishes as you go, which pisses me off.

when i was teaching myself how to cook and feeling daunted about it, the best advice i ever got was to aim to learn 15 recipes and then put them in rotation.

this is the most horrific and awful truth i have forced myself to accept: there may come a day you can no longer digest your favorite foods, and you will either have to stop eating them, or remain very close to a toilet. i’m sorry.

other people are always going to misperceive you and misunderstand you, sometimes willfully. other people’s opinions of you don’t actually have anything to do with you. they’re not your business, and you don’t have to worry about it or change yourself.

when innocuous or neutral things make you irrationally angry or upset, step back, realize you’re having a big reaction, and then when you’re ready, pay very close attention to the thing that upset you, because you’re about to learn something important about yourself.

a pill sorter can save your life. i don’t know how i managed my meds without one.

sometimes college is about learning stuff, and not about becoming something.

no matter how many perfectionist tendencies you have, it’s worth it to remind yourself that no matter how much of a mess you actually are, you deserve to be loved.

if you’re always forgetting to do important but tedious things, set an alarm and set aside one hour of each week, not to do the important tedious things, but to assess what needs to be done, and *schedule* the important tedious things for the following week. this literally changed my life.

during that hour, make a meal plan too. the point of doing this is condense the time in which you’re making decisions (what to do, what to eat, etc) so you don’t have to burden yourself with them throughout the week. decision fatigue is real. any way you can alleviate that is a good thing.

learn the difference between aggressive, passive, passive-aggressive, and assertive behavior. recognize when you’re being one of the first three, re-assess and aim for being assertive, even if it’s hard.

you can tell you’ve processed trauma, not when the traumatic thing stops upsetting you to think about, but when the traumatic thing takes up the same size in your brain as all your other memories.

if you’re one of those people who never seems to finish projects or follow through with things, there’s a chance you may just grow out of it naturally. until then, follow your interests and don’t feel bad about putting down a hobby to pick up another.

if you love stickers but have sticker anxiety, buy vinyl stickers. you can re-stick them.

there are only a few careers i can think of that you have to commit to early in life because getting the undergraduate credentials is a pain in the ass (teachers, doctors, and engineers, from my research). nearly everything else you can switch to later, which takes a LOT of pressure off having to figure out what you want to do with your life.

people say there’s no money in becoming an artist, writer, musician, etc. actually there’s a ton of money in all of those things, it’s just in the stuff other people want you to make and never what you want to make. it’s still worth it to develop the creative skill and not force yourself into business school because it’s more “practical” or whatever.

sleep when you’re tired. SLEEP WHEN YOU’RE TIRED. don’t beat yourself up about it, don’t tell yourself you shouldn’t be tired or that you’ve already slept too much, just take a fucking nap. you would never say “hm i’ve already had enough water today, therefore i should not be thirsty” so don’t treat sleep the same way.

when you build a piece of furniture from target or ikea or whatever, the first thing you should do is count all the little screws and things to make sure everything’s there that should be. it sucks to get halfway into putting something together only to find there’s a piece missing and you have to go buy it.

learn to travel by yourself, go out to eat by yourself, see a movie by yourself. in my early 20s i was scared to do these things, but i do them so often now i don’t even think about it. it’s the most fulfilling skill i’ve ever learned.

adding to the above, if you’re a people-pleaser, being alone is especially important, because you’ve probably developed the habit of making the people you’re with more comfortable and happy than yourself, and you’re missing a lot of the beautiful and interesting things around you. when you’re by yourself, you can focus on what *you* want without guilt.

sometimes you’ll want to break things off with a friend for reasons that are no one’s fault, and you don’t want it to be volatile or make a big thing of it, in which case the goal is to simply fade out of their life. it is okay to let people go.

shame is useless. get rid of it.

no matter how much of yourself you put into your art (or writing, or music, or whatever), when people criticize it, they are not criticizing you. they are having a reaction colored by their own tastes and perspectives. their opinion of your work has nothing to do with you. you don’t have to take everyone’s feedback. in fact you don’t have to take anyone’s feedback. the other side to this coin unfortunately is that compliments don’t have anything to do with you either. it’s good to accept this because it means you’ll stop seeking validation from other people and won’t let anyone else’s perspectives impact your work. anything nice anyone says about your work is merely a bonus to an already good thing.

if you’re an artist of any kind, take one day a year to look up opportunities like grants, funding, residencies, workshops, whatever. put the due dates of all of them on a calendar for the year following and get into the habit of applying for stuff. getting rejected sucks, application fees suck, but in all the years i’ve been doing this, it has always, always been worth it. these things give you a chance not only to help fund and support what you’re passionate about, but they force you to take your own work seriously, and that is something that’s absolutely necessary in order to be successful.

you must become your own greatest advocate. in all respects--in health, in love, in happiness, in freedom, you must. no one will ever fight as hard for you as you will. this in turn will give you the strength and motivation to help others fight for themselves too. the only way the world will ever get better is if every person on this planet learns to see themselves as equals to everyone around them.

brag about yourself as often as you can. for one, people develop their perceptions of you based on how you treat yourself and speak about yourself. but for two, it’s the fastest way to figure out which people to keep in your life, because they’re the ones who are going “oh hell yeah, you’re awesome.”

be the person other people want to brag to.

at some point in your life, someone is going to hurt you, and it’s going to be willful and intentional. it is not worth it to waste brain space figuring out why they did it or why you think you deserved it. all you have to do is let yourself feel that pain, acknowledge it, and try to move on.

no matter how bad off you think you are, recovery is possible. the first and hardest step is to learn you’re worth the time and effort it takes to recover from the awful things that have happened to you.

developing an expertise does not mean you’re getting objectively better at something. becoming an expert is only the process of seeing your mistakes and having the patience to sit in the discomfort of not knowing how to fix them.

#writing advice

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jabathegut · 12 days

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How's gaining going?

I know people only care if Im gaining buh here is an update.

My AC1 (blood sugar stuff) aka diabetes shit was dangerously high at 6.0. So unfortunately gaining is over completely until further notice! It’s been fun and unfortunately I’m not gonna mess with diabetes cause I don’t want it and unfortunately I can’t just eat loads of pasta cheesecake, candy pizza, and drink gallons and gallons of soda and not have my body breaking down.

this is the ugly truth of this community because while I don’t want to quit, I’m forced to because I don’t want to reap the repercussions of having diabetes the rest of my life and unfortunately, I always told myself if I came to it and I needed to change I would change for the better of my health, but unfortunately no one’s going to get their rocks off to that tonight.

It’s saddens my heart because I never got to experience fully this side of myself and share it with somebody at the wonderful and beautiful size that I was, but unfortunately this is life. This is the ugly side of the community not everybody gets what they want and people deserve the best. They don’t always get what they deserve.

I was probably around 334 at my fattest and I was eating a lot of junk food. I’ve since cut back I cut soda out completely and I’ve been doing sugar-free candy where I can and I am around 306 to 309 pounds after three months of consistent dietary choices.

my A1c was at 6.0 and now I’m at 5.9 and I’m severely prediabetic and I’m working on lifestyle choices that are more healthier and fit in the lines of longevity.

#bhm #male feedee #bhm belly #ask jaba #weight gain #fat belly #belly kink #female feeder #make me fatter #fat

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oneforthemunny · 1 year

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baby, I'm yours |older!dilf!eddie munson x pregnant!reader|

prompt: the older!dilf!eddie pregnancy smut you've been waiting for.

older!eddie edit credit to @eddiemunsons-missingnipple go say thank you!!!!!!!!!!!

contains: pregnancy, age gap relationship, reader is thirty, Eddie is forty-six, mentions of lactation play, pregnancy sex, oral fem receiving, p in v sex, 18+, MINORS DNI

Eddie fumbled around the kitchen, timer on the stove blaring as he jammed his fingers into the random buttons on the screen. He looked down his nose, eyes squinting to desperately make out the letters, but without his glasses (the ones he refused to wear because you teased him) he couldn't see anything. Wayne was right, once you hit forty-five, everything goes to shit.

A manicured finger snaked around him, hitting the button with a resounding 'beep!', ending the incessant chirping of the stove. Eddie huffed, looking at you with an irritated glare. "I told you I had it." He crossed his arms looking down at you. "You are supposed to be in the living room, relaxing."

You scoffed, rolling your eyes as you went to peek in the oven, Eddie's inked hand slapping over the stove before you could see. "Eddie, I'm bored." You whined, rubbing your neck. "And I'm starving. We are starving." Your hand moved down to your growing stomach, twenty-eight weeks now and already huge.

The pregnancy hadn't been an easier one. Your mom told you it was because you were having a girl, and "girls take all your beauty, steal it for themselves". She'd told you that at the gender reveal before you'd even actually revealed the gender, during a game about old wive's tales- you were nauseous, sore, tired, and didn't have the 'glow' everyone seemed to drone on about. As the weeks progressed, it only got worse.

The morning sickness dried up around your fifth month, just in time for everything to swell. For you to have hot flashes, mood swing, and acne like you hadn't had since junior high. Plus, on top of it all, Eddie couldn't keep his hands off you.

Under any other circumstances, you would have loved the extra attention. How he was constantly was pressing up against you, tender and possessive, hands on your belly, thighs, ass, anywhere really. It would have been paradise.

If you weren't so uncomfortable in your own body.

Skin that stretched uncomfortably and foreign around your own body, accommodating for the little miracle you were growing inside you. Breasts so swollen and sore where your milk was coming in. If Eddie even looked at your nippled the wrong way they pulsed, aching and sore already- you couldn't imagine how breast feeding would go, that was still up in the air if you'd do it. Ankles doubled in size, fingers too. Your back ached, low and deep in your spine.

And you were so fucking horny.

But you couldn't let Eddie know. You were sure he wouldn't ever get out of you if he knew. You'd been this way the last few weeks, whenever the morning sickness left you, and insatiable need took over you. You'd been able to use your vibrator for a while, but now with the ever growing and protruding bump, it was proving to be very difficult.

The last time you and Eddie had sex was a little over two weeks ago, and you'd still been hesitant. Your thirtieth birthday, and Eddie spent it spoiling you. Your birthday and you were carrying his baby? He went all out. Well, as much as you would let him.

"It's almost done, bunny, I promise." Eddie sighed peeking into the oven carefully. "I have a snack in the fridge. It's carrots and that weird tazinini-

"-Taziki-"

"Right that." Eddie huffed with a small eye roll. Brielle had been on him about eating healthier now that he was older. Wayne's recent heart scare had terrified her, and she was on a giant health kick- much against both of their wills.

Eddie moved to the fridge, opening it slowly and rummaging through it. "You want that? Or I could get you some of your cravings. Is Pickles wanting anything special?"

You giggled at the nickname. 'Pickles' is what you took to calling baby girl Munson for now, until you agreed on a name. You grew tired of calling her 'it' before you knew the gender, upset and emotional with how impersonal it was, so you and Eddie settled on calling her your number one pregnancy craving- Pickles.

"The carrots and dip is fine, baby, thank you." You grinned, sitting at the island. You knew Eddie would tell you to anyways, so cautious about you standing for too long.

You watched him as he made dinner, cooking and stirring, while chatting with you about his day. Things at the shop, how he went to check up on Wayne, when he talked to Brielle and when she was coming to visit, potential baby names.

You watched the way his sweat pants hung low, curly tendrils pulled back into a low pony tail with your spiraled hair tie, his salt and pepper slicks of hair by his hair line and on his temples. The sag of his sweat pants, low on his hip, soft, inked skin peeking out from his old faded t-shirt when he bent down to pick something up. Your name tatted on his rib cage, your signature with his last name.

You rolled your bottom lip between your teeth, mouth salivating at the sight of him. Your thighs clenched together, rubbing them softly, mind wandering back to just a few weeks ago. How filthy the two of you had been. When he sucked on your tits, teasing and flicking you, until he sucked a little too hard and your milk came in. It was debaucherous, filthy; you'd cum almost instantly from the shock and sensation of it alone.

"God, you must really be hungry." Eddie chuckled, snapping you out of your haze. You looked up at him, wide eyed and confused. He put the plated food in front of you with a grin. "Eyeing that food like you were gonna snatch it out of my hand." He teased, smacking a kiss to your cheek, hand rubbing over your belly. "Baby girl must be hungry, hm?"

You swallowed thickly, looking down at the food. It did look delicious. You were actually hungry, too. "She's starved." You grinned, moaning slightly at the warm food heating you from the inside out. "But she's so happy Daddy's taking care of us, aren't you?" You cooed down at your bump, voice lilting and rubbing a hand down your swollen abdomen.

You groaned slightly, face pinching in pain as she kicked your bladder. Somehow it was worse than the ribs she was favoring a few days ago. "She kicking?" Eddie asked, sitting next to you with his own plate.

Your face scrunched, rubbing to attempt to soothe the spot she was nailing repeatedly. "Yeah," You huffed. "I feel like this is your fault." You pouted dramatically at him.

"Me?" Eddie scoffed with a playful laugh. "What did I do? Takes two to tango, bunny."

You rolled your eyes, spearing your chicken with your fork. "I mean the kicking." You gave him an unamused glare. "Seems like a very Munson trait."

"Well, you're very Munson last I checked." Eddie teased, ticking your side gently, making you squirm. "But, you might be right." He admitted, taking a swig of his drink. "Brielle did the same thing."

You laughed, shaking your head. "Shocking." You smirked.

The dinner had continued on, small chatting, gentle touches and stolen kisses. So domestic and intimate, everything you ever dreamed of. While you watched Eddie clean up, because he insisted you sit, one hand lazily tucked away under your chin, you stared dreamily at him.

You applied your cocoa butter and bio oil mix to your stomach and back- your mom had insisted it was the best remedy for stretching skin- rolling your neck and kneading the tense skin. Eddie sat propped against the headboard when you emerged out of the bathroom, in just his boxers, reading his phone, glasses perched on his nose.

His hair was wild, unruly like it always was before bed because he'd brush out the tangles of the day. His skin on his belly was soft, tattoos faded some fresh with ink, his stubble was more outgrown these days- he'd been working more between days at the shop, taking care of Wayne, and helping you nest. You drooled at the sight of him, eyes focusing on the bulge in his faded, green briefs. He wasn't hard, but you could still see the outline of his cock, resting against his thigh, lazily.

"Hey, bunny, did you see what Brie sent?" Eddie wasn't looking up from his phone as you padded closer. "She said 'bffr'? What does that- oof!" Eddie grunted softly, surprised when you climbed into his lap, straddling his hips with your thighs.

Your swollen bump pressed up against his soft tummy, your heated core over his bulge, grinding down in slow, circles. Eddie's eyes lit up, hands on your waist as he tossed his phone, ripping off his glasses and throwing them on his bedside table. "Really? Yeah?" He asked eagerly. "You want to? Really?"

You huffed, heat flickering and building between your legs as you felt him harden, nails gripping his shoulders. "Just... Just shut up before I change my mind." You gasped, leaning down to kiss him.

His lips met yours, scruff rubbing over your face, surely leaving you red and raw. You moaned, hand on the back of his curly head, gripping and pressing him deeper and deeper into you, tongues swirling and exploring each other.

You whimpered when Eddie started kissing down your jaw, neck, sucking the spot below your ear that had you crying out, eyes rolled back. Everything was heightened with the pregnancy- cravings, pains, but most importantly, sensitivities of every kind. Eddie swore up and down that's why he couldn't keep his hands off you, because you were so sensitive, so reactive to his touch.

Eddie's hands worked quickly, pushing down the straps of your cotton, maternity, sleep tank, your breasts presented to him, his hands cupping them firmly, mouth watering at the sight. Swollen and full, he squeezed then lightly.

“Careful, Ed, easy.” You whined, high pitched and breathy. “They're sensitive."

Eddie nodded, but you were sure he didn’t heart you, eyes glued on your nipples, already hardened, rolling the pads of his thumbs over them. “Jesus fuck, bunny.” Eddie groaned. “I don’t think you’ve ever looked so perfect.”

You scoffed, grinding down into his touch for friction. “I’m huge.” You rolled your eyes. “I can’t even shave my legs, my vagina, anymore.”

Eddie scoffed, nearly offended, looking up at you. “Like I give a shit.” He cocked his head to the side, hands moving down your ribs to your hips, which had widened as the baby started to grow more and more, filled out and full.

"I think you've never looked better." Eddie pressed a kiss into your jaw, scruff of his beard nuzzling into the nape of your neck, sucking and nipping at the sensitive skin.

Eddie shifted, moving you carefully, laying you down on to the turned down pillows, his hands gripping the fat of your hips, soft and subtle flesh kneading between his fingers. Eddie took his time kissing down your neck, sloppy smooches wet and peppering every inch of your exposed skin. One hand pushing down your pajama shorts, flinging them onto the floor next to your discarded top.

You whined, shifting as your stomach settled, flat against the mattress. "Ed, wait," You sighed, pushing up on your forearms. "I can't." You shook your head, watching his face fall. His eyes were filled with concern, rounding carefully to look from you to your bump.

"No, I mean," You huffed, grabbing his pillows and piling them against the headboard, shimmying up the bed so you rested against the headboard, sighing with relief at the relieved pressure off your abdomen.

"Is that better?" Eddie asked, groaning as he sat on his knees, leaning over you to adjust the pillows. "That comfortable?"

You nodded, grinning widely before cupping your hand against his cheek, wedding bands cool on his stubble and flesh, pulling him back in to you, lips tangling to his. Eddie groaned into your mouth, shifting himself between your legs. His hands went to your neck, hands tangled in your hair.

He made his way down your body, lips ghosting over your stretched skin, peppering every inch of you with a sloppy kiss until you were covered, skin hot and sticky, squirming against the pillows, hands in his hair.

Eddie dipped closer to your core, kissing the delicate inner parts of your thighs, arm nudging your thighs apart encouragingly. You blushed slightly under his gaze. You really hadn't been able to shave. You'd been meaning to book a waxing appointment, just some sort of maintenance, but it had fallen on the back burner, too wrapped up with names, nesting, maternity leave, and the million others things that were hurdled at you every single day.

Eddie's eyes were trained on your core, peering at him from over your bump. You felt exposed, in a way you hadn't felt since the two of you had first started dating- when everything was still new.

"I told you I hadn't shaved." You giggled nervously, legs squirming to move up further on the pillows, closing your legs.

Eddie's eyes flicked up to you, brow furrowed, deep creases itching into his features. "Bunny, I-" He shook his head with a laugh. Your back arched slightly, strangled gasp leaving your throat when he swiped your slick heat without warning, circling your sopping hole, thumb lightly pressing into your clit.

He pulled his hand back and you burned, flesh molting and hot at the absences of his touch and your slick coating his fingers. He pressed his index and thumb together, a vulgar clicking sound filling the quiet space when he separated them.

"You think I give a shit about you shaving, when I've got this?" Eddie's mouth watered, wicked grin on his face when he looked at you. You bit your lip, clenching around nothing. Eddie scoffed, swiping his fingers in you again, leaving you grabbling for purchase on the sheets.

Eddie's fingers teased you, one finger pushing into your drooling hole without warning, smirking when you clamped around the digit. "You're so wet, baby." He grinned, pulling his finger out.

His eyes were on you, brown eyes dark and salacious. He didn't look away, didn't blink, putting his index finger in his mouth. A filthy moan tore from the back of his throat, eyes rolling back when he removed his finger.

"Fuck, and so sweet." Eddie moved closer to you. He put this thumb on your bottom lip, finger still coated in your arousal. "Taste, bunny. Taste how fuckin' good you are." He pressed his thumb past your mouth, dick twitching when you swirled your tongue around the finger obediently.

Eddie's head was spinning, searing heat pooling in his belly, cock pressed uncomfortably against the fabric of his boxers. He pulled his spit soaked fingers from you, your eyes on him when he did, round and obedient, waiting for his sweet, syrupy praise you knew would follow.

Eddie grinned, lopsided and smug. "Good girl, bunny. Very good." His chest swelled with obnoxious pride when you blistered under his words, biting back a little smile that had him throbbing.

"Oh!" Gasping cry caught in your throat when Eddie pushed you lightly back into the pillows, climbing back down to your spread legs.

Your eyes clenched, hips grinding down onto Eddie's face, his lips latching onto your sensitive bud, suckling on it lightly, just enough pressure to have your eyes rolling back, grabbing onto his hair, pulling him closer and closer into your heat until he was suffocating. Eddie was more than happy with it, nose smushed against your coarse hair, drowning in your tangy scent. He'd happily let his lungs give out, more than content to go out smothered in your delicious pussy.

Your head was thrown back onto the headboard, thighs clenching and tightening. You were close with just Eddie's tongue alone. That was the beauty of pregnancy, so sensitive and reactive he could have you coming undone with the slightest touch, unraveling and hazy in no time.

Eddie's chin was sopping, scruff wet and sticky against his skin. His tongue swirled your clit, kitten licks lapping against the sensitive bundles of nerves, scruff tickling and scraping it haphazardly.

Your hips rose, belly shifting on your chest. "Fuck, Ed, 'm- holy fucking shit- I'm so fucking close, don't stop." You babbled, vision blurring as you felt the pressure deep in your belly, in your core teeter close and closer towards the edge of blinding, overwhelming pleasure.

Eddie's hand smoothed gently up your skin, over the swell of your belly in a feather light touch until he found your breasts, rolling your pebbled nipples between his calloused fingers, mouth still attached to your core.

Hands smacking his head, a little harder than you meant to, gripping his hair in tight fists around the curly, thick strands of hair, pulling them at the scalp. You cried out, so overwhelmed with pleasure and sensation you were sure you'd burst in ecstasy...and you did, in a way, gushing around Eddie's mouth and chin, soaking him in your wake while he licked you up. Cleaning your drenched pussy with his tongue, like the true gentleman he was.

Eddie's beard glistened, wet with the sticky release of you on his mouth. He wore it like a prize, grinning and shining in the low light of the room.

"You ready, bunny?" Eddie asked, nuzzling his nose into your cheek, pulling himself out of his boxers. You could see the weeping, angry tip of his cock from his fist, watching his pre-cum dribble down his veiny shaft. Your mouth salivated, eyes dreamy and fixated on his delicious cock.

Eddie smirked, hand cupping your face gently, a little squeeze to bring your attention back to him. Your eyes lifted, distant and wanton, rounded in anticipation. "How you wanna do this?" He asked, running the pad of his thumb over your bottom lips.

"Hm?" You hummed, foggy minded and still reeling from his tongue on your aching core.

Eddie laughed. "You wanna be on top?" Eddie snorted at your snarling expression. "How about all fours? I'll get you on your hands and knees, how's that sound?"

You nodded slowly, accepting his help off your cloud of pillows, crawling towards the other end of the bed. Eddie's eyes fixated on you with an intense glare, taking in every curve and arch of your body. He took his cock lazily in his hand, pumping himself, thumb gliding over the sensitive tip when you dropped onto your forearms. Back arched, legs apart so your glistening pussy peeked out, enticing him deliciously, your bump hanging low.

"Ed, can you hand me a pillow to put under me, please?" Eddie wasn't sure why you ever bothered to say please. To even ask him. He'd walk through fire for you if you asked, especially now that you were carrying his baby. Pregnant, sacrificing and embracing every change that came with your body, good or bad- for him.

Eddie pushed the pillow under your bump, body folding on top of yours, curls ticking your shoulder blades, leaving feather light kisses in your wake. "You ready?" He asked, breath tickling the shell of your ear. He laughed, darkly when you wiggled your ass, pressing it against his pelvis desperately. "You'll let me know if I hurt you?"

You nodded, dropping down into a deeper, further arch. "I will, promise." You sighed, pressing your face into the mattress, sneaking a glance at him.

Eddie sunk into you easily, audible, loud groan filling the room when he bottomed out. You were soaked, clenching and wetting his cock in the most delicious way. "Goddamit, bunny." Eddie groaned, one hand gripping your hip.

His eyes were trained on the recoil of your ass and hips, meaty and filled out like the rest of you, jumping with ever snap of his hips on you. "You- fuck- I swear, I'd keep you pregnant for the rest of my life if I could." Eddie rasped, free hand circling around you to cup your belly, fingers splayed out protectively over the swell of your abdomen that grew your baby.

You cried out with a particularly hard snap of his hips, feeling Eddie hesitate behind you slightly. He knew he had to be careful with how deep he went, especially this far along. He watched you for a moment, eyes scanning for any signs of displeasure or discomfort.

Eddie found his pace, steady and deep enough to have you drooling, cock stretching you out in the most delicious way, walls burning and adjusting against his thickness. "You'd like that wouldn't you?" Eddie growled. "Like it if I kept you pregnant like this? Keep you filled up, and- oh, fuck bunny- and sensitive like this. Would you let me, huh? Let me keep you barefoot and pregnant."

You were too fucked out, eyes glazed and mind spacey, drooling and dumb on his cock. "Mmm." You drooled into he duvet.

"Yeah? Would you?" Eddie grit his teeth, grip on your hip tightening with every thrust building closer and closer to his own release. He looked down at his cock, watching the creamy spend coat his base thickly.

He took a sharp breath, head tilting back to try and contain himself, keep himself from slamming into you, finishing by pounding you out hard until you were a puddle in the mattress. "You'd let me keep you like this forever, wouldn't you, bunny?" Eddie shuddered out, hand around your belly moving down to your puffy lips, finding your slit easily.

You squealed and cried out, clenching around him tightly, white knuckled grasp on the duvet, gushing over his cock that relentlessly pounded you. Eddie felt himself twitch deep within you. "Say it." Eddie growled. "Say you're gonna be my little pregnant wife. Just my little woman that lets me breed this pussy over and over and- fuck!" Eddie's strangled breath caught in his throat, tearing through a low groan and a cry.

Hot, thick ropes of his release filling you. He finished deep inside of you, bottoming out, hips against your ass, bumping into your gently with every squeeze of your walls around him, milking his cock.

Eddie's bangs were sweaty and puffy when they fell against your shoulder, breath hot against your sticky, flushed skin. He could feel you slack against the bed, bump protected by the pillows, but hips still lifted to keep the extra weight off.

You could feel his spend spill out of you when he pulled out, his own fingers catching it before it hit the pillow, pushing it back inside of you. You whined at the feeling, too sensitive and overwhelmed with sensation. "Ed, please." You whined.

Eddie's eyes stayed trained on your leaking cunt, spilling out his creamy release slowly down your mound towards the blankets. Eddie's breathing heaved, shoulders rounding and slouching, fixated on the vision in front of him.

"Can you get a washcloth please?" You whimpered, looking back over your shoulder at him. "I don't want to stain the covers again."

Eddie didn't move, eyes still trained on the trail of cum that was trickling through your hair, down your slit, out as you pulsated with the aftershocks of your orgasms.

"Eddie," You sighed, pushing up, flat palms in the mattress. You shifted carefully, trying to keep from spilling out and onto the bed. His eyes were distant, glazed when they met yours, wide and awaiting. "Please. Get something to clean me up, baby, my back is starting to hurt." You pouted.

Eddie worked quickly, warm cloth between your legs, cleaning you up delicately and sweetly, soft nuzzles into your cheek, hand petting your damp hair. He adjusted the bed, fixing it back for you, helping you back into your pajamas before pulling on a fresh pair of boxers.

You didn't have to ask for your pillow, he placed it between your legs when you turned on your side, adjusting it so you rocked your hips in the feeling of relief on your lower back. Eddie's body contorted into yours, pulling you close into him so you fused together- one body, one mold, the same.

His large, inked hand splayed over your tummy, rubbing it gently in soft, soothing circles. "I can't wait for the baby to get here." Eddie whispered to you, eyes closed and breath tickling your ear. "You're gonna be the best mama."

You blushed under his praise, lashes fluttering, snuggling further into his hold, your hand folding on top of his, holding him closely against your swollen belly.

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too-much-tma-stuff · 8 days

Text

Finally Getting Help (pt 13)

Masterpost

Danny was holding Jason’s hand so tight he felt like his fingers were creaking but Jason wasn’t about to say anything. They were waiting in the doctor's office for Danny’s first ultrasound and Jason was accompanying him as promised, if Danny needed to squeeze his hand that was what Danny needed to do then so be it, it was better the bolting, which it looked like he was considering. Leslie didn’t usually make people wait long but when she had an emergency she had an emergency, it didn’t matter that Bruce funded her clinic, and was sitting awkwardly in one corner, they could wait.

It had been decided that as Danny’s guardian and maybe boyfriend? Bruce and Jason would be the ones to go in with him, with Danny’s agreement of course. Jazz and Dick had both wanted to come too but they didn’t want to crowd the room or overwhelm Danny so it was decided they would stay close by but not come In. Just then they were waiting together at a cafe across the road in case they were needed.

“Alright, I’m sorry to keep you both waiting but you know how Gotham is,” Leslie said a little grim-faced and still stripping off bloody gloves as she walked into their room and tossed them into the trash can. “So, Danny right,” Danny nodded. “Will you come with me into a private room for your examination?” She asked, because of course she did, the phrasing too was carefully worded to not put him on the spot so if Danny was feeling at all threatened or uncomfortable about Jason and Bruce being there he wouldn’t be blamed for following her.

“You don’t have to,” She added quickly when Danny looked panicked and clung to Jason so tight Jason couldn’t help wincing. “We can move forward with the appointment if them being here makes you more comfortable?”

Danny nodded quickly so she nodded as well and sat down at her desk, opening a file on her computer. “So, you’re here for an ultrasound right?” She glanced over and Danny nodded again, he seemed to be feeling really shy, Jason had never seen him so nervous, Bruce looked worried. “But it says here you haven’t had a check up in years so would you mind if we do a general exam first? I would like to make sure that You are healthy before we move on to the babies.”

“Yes that’s fine, but you know I’m not fully human right?” Danny asked, she paused for barely a moment.

“I was told you had some differences,” she confirmed gingerly. “What should I expect?”

“Well, my heart rate is naturally slower than it used to be, and my body temperature is lower. Like I get to ‘healthy human’ temperatures when I have a bad fever. I don’t know what else has changed, honestly. I’ve been avoiding the doctor ever since my accident because I knew how my parents would react,” he said sounding tired and resigned.

“Well then we’ll take today as a paceline and monitor changes. If you’re feeling well today?” She suggested, she probably would have liked to get a baseline before Danny was pregnant but obviously that was impossible.

“Ya that’s fine, my heartrate is probably a bit fast because I’m nervous but I’m probably healthier then I’ve been in a while. I haven’t been getting into fights and I’ve been eating regularly after all!”

“Alright. I understand but there’s no need to be nervous. This is a safe environment, I won’t do anything that’s not medically necessary.”

“I know, if Bruce and Jason didn’t speak so highly of you I wouldn’t be here. They don’t seem to see eye to eye on much so if they both trust and like you you must be good,” Danny said with a little smile though he was still tense and pale. That anxiety wasn’t going anywhere fast. In the corner Brace gave a sort of strangled cough that had Jason glaring at him even though he didn’t really know what it meant.

“Alright, then let’s get started,” She said before she started Danny’s check-up, all of the normal things a doctor would do if a bit more thorough. Checking eyes, mouth, ears, heart and lungs, and reflexes, circulation and blood pressure. His heartbeat was slow and his blood pressure was low but Danny thought that was probably normal for him? She gave an unconvinced hum. “We’ll have weekly check ups and check it again then. If it’s sustained and doesn’t affect you then we can say it’s normal for you.” She agreed.

“Alright, well based on the information you’ve told me I think we’ve established a baseline and you’re healthy. Are you ready for your ultrasound?” She asked and Danny took a deep breath, Jason, still standing next to Danny, squeezed his hand gently.

“Ya, as ready as I’ll ever be,” Danny agreed.

“Thank you, just lay back and pull up your shirt please,” Dr. Leslie requested and Danny did as she’d asked as she pulled up the little monitor and set things up. In the background Bruce shifted so he could see the screen better. “There won’t be much to see,” Leslie warned, shooting Bruce a look as she applied the ultrasound gel. “It’s still too early.”

She put on a fresh pair of gloves and grabbed the wand, “Alright, let's have a look.” She said, pressing it carefully against Danny’s stomach.

Danny had let go of Jason’s hand while he lay down but now he grabbed around for Jason again, without looking away from the screen now showing inside his abdomen. Jason stepped closer and grabbed Danny’s hand, looking at his face rather than anything else, monitoring for signs the trepidation there might be getting to be too much. He knew Danny was nervous, but they didn’t want this to progress into a panic attack.

“There they are. Oh! Two, twins. You’re further along than I expected, 10 weeks by the looks of it?” She asked glancing at Danny who nodded.

“Ya, I’ve only been carrying them for 6 but they’re test tube babies,” he confirmed, his eyes fixed on the screen.

“Ah,” She sounded, nodding her understanding. “The little round things below their hearts are odd. Do they have two hearts? No, those ones aren’t beating…”

“Those are their cores,” Danny murmured before it seemed to hit him and he looked at Jason, his eyes wide with panic. “Oh my god I AM actually pregnant, it’s not just the cores, I’m pregnant, oh my god I’m pregnant,” he was starting to hyperventilate.

Dr. Leslie pulled back and Danny practically threw himself into Jason’s arm who held him tight as Danny hid against his chest and trembled. “Do you want us to call Jazz?” Jason offered softly as he held Danny and let him cry.

“No don’t go,” Danny hiccuped against Jason’s chest.

“I’ll call Jazz,” Bruce added, of course. He would want to help, he did care, but he never had any actual idea how to help. The emotionally unavailable bastard.

“Do you want me to leave?” Dr. Leslie asked gently. “I would like to have a better look at the twins to check on their development but if you need time I can come back later, or even another day.”

“Just-just give me a minute, please,” Danny sniffled as Jason rubbed his back.

“Of course. I know this is overwhelming,” Leslie said gently.

Jazz barged into the room and immediately hugged Danny a well, sandwiched safely between her and Jason. “Scruff him, it’ll help,” she told Jason, who nodded and squeezed the back of Danny’s neck.

He shuddered and then started to relax between the two of them, basically letting the two taller, and trusted, people hold him up. His sobs turned into sniffles and then a few deep breaths. “Okay, okay I think I’m ready. I want to know that they’re okay too. I know their cores are developing well but if they have human bodies, we need to make sure those are healthy too right?”

“Right. Do you want me to stay, or do you want Bruce to come back in?” Jazz asked gently.

“No, you and Jason stay please,” Danny said softly. He had thought it was right for Bruce to come in as his guardian, but it was Jazz who had really been looking after him for years. “There’s not much to see right now, just little blobs. We’ll tell him how it goes.”

Danny took another breath and then squirmed out of both of their arms and went to lay back on the table, pulling up his shirt again. Jason stood next to the examination table, taking Danny’s hand again, Jazz went and sat on the table by Danny’s head and stroked his hair while Dr. Leslie applied fresh jelly to his stomach since it had been worn off during his panic attack. Jason might have to change his shirt after this.

“Alright, let’s have another look shall we?” She said with a warm smile as she pressed the wand against his stomach again. She found the babies again fairly easily. “They seem to be sticking pretty close together,” She said with a little smile. “They’re active little things! It’s far too early to tell anything else about them but from what you’ve told me they seem to be on track and developing properly,” She said, pulling back and offering Danny a cloth to clean the gel off his stomach.

“Do you mind if we call Bruce back in? As your guardian I’d like him to be here for you treatment plan?” She asked.

“Sure, makes sense,” Danny agreed with a nod.

She nodded back and looked at Jazz, who nodded as well and ducked out to get Bruce. “While we’re mostly alone I want to know, do you know all your options Danny? You know you don’t have to carry them. They’re just embryos right now, not even conscious. Your health and safety comes first,” Dr. Leslie told him gently. She knew Jason was firmly pro-choice.

“No, I know,” Danny said with a little smile and a nod, looking down at his stomach and gently caressing it. “I know I don’t Have to do this. But I do want them. I’m already attached to them, you know?” He said looking up at her, worried that she would judge him. He hoped he was making the right choice, that he wasn’t ruining his life at 16 or something. Fuck he could be on that trashy tv show!

“I understand,” She assured, no hint of judgment on her face. Of course not, if she could treat rogues without judgment she sure as hell wasn’t going to judge a teen parent. She glanced up as the door opened again and Bruce and Jazz entered. “Right,” Leslie said, sitting down at her computer and starting to type. “You’re still a little malnourished so I’d like to get you taking prenatal vitamins immediately,” she said, glancing up to see Danny nod. “With your unique condition I’d like to see you more often than usual, weekly visits would be best for now. Once we’re sure you and the babies are okay we can go down to every other week.”

“I don’t think we need to do that,” Danny said, shifting nervously. “I mean you say the human side is looking good, and my ghost doctor says they’re developing well on that side, if slower than usual. I don’t need to come in every week,” He said looking hopeful.

She hesitated for a moment, organizing her thoughts and considering his words. “Even so, there’s clearly some bleed over that makes it hard to tell how healthy you are. I would feel better if you came weekly, at least for the first month so we can establish a true baseline.”

“Alright,” Danny said, drooping again, looking back at Bruce. “Can you make the appointment? I want to go home.”

“Sure Danny,” Bruce agreed, pulling out his planner to check their schedule.

“I’ll take you back to the manor,” Jason assured, using his grip on Danny’s hand to help him up.

“I’ll go back to the cafe with Dick, we were having a good conversation, I wouldn’t mind continuing it,” She said, giving Danny a smile. “Unless you want me to come?”

“No, that’s alright. Have fun Jazz,” Danny said, leaning against Jason and letting him usher Danny out of the clinic. Jazz waved as she crossed to the cafe where Dick was waiting, looking worried till he noticed them, then he smiled and waved. Jazz waved back and jogged across, about to tell Dick all about the twins no doubt.

Jason led Danny to his bike, and got on first, pulling Danny onto the seat behind him. Danny wrapped his arms around Jason and pressed against his back, half hiding from the world. Jason didn’t try to talk to him, he needed time to process. He would talk when he was ready to.

#dc x dp #danny phantom #jason todd #fanfiction #trans!danny #trans pregnancy #teen pregnancy #dead on main #bruce wayne #jazz fenton #dick grayson #eldest daughter syndrome #that's what Dick and Jazz are called as a ship right?#finally getting help AU #Danny is pregnant #tw dysphoria

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coconutdays · 7 months

Text

drunk

s. my attempt at a mutual pining ??? slowburn??? with the Honored One, Gojo. obviously there will be other parts hehe

w.c. 3.4k

w. fem! reader , gojo! x reader , fluff! , angst! , slowburn! , ( I think the slowburn is lowk angsty in my opinion) I also didn't really proofread this, did this as my day went. also y/n’a cursed technique is basically like Wanda from marvels abilities, thought it would be cool

You're restless.

The soft bedsheets encircling you do nothing to soothe your itchy skin. there's pillows thrown everywhere across your room in hopes that less pillows mean more sleep. Your legs and arms have been sprawled in different angles and directions to try and cater to your sleep, but it's all useless--your head won't let you get a wink of rest.

Your heart rate rises the moment you feel any sort of sleep try to overcome you. It beats furiously to take away your breath and forces you to jump up for relief before your eyes close for those oh so peaceful hours you yearn for.

It's annoying,

Like satoru gojo.

And there you feel that annoying flutter in your heart again.

This was not how he was supposed to keep you up at night.

no, what--

fuck fuck fuck fuck

You flip onto your stomach, fisting at the bedsheets and screaming into the mattress, your body movement similar to that of a fish out of water.

it came out of nowhere one day, that itch for him.

He had popped up during one of your missions, mid-battle, might you add. He was seated in a tree, watching you do your work, adding witty commentary on the fight every now and then while he mostly talked about his plans for dinner. Whether feta cheese would be healthier than greek yogurt or if squid really tasted different than octopus.

It was offensive to your opponent--a quite special grade curse--that Gojo never deemed it necessary to enter the confines of your shared arena and even further when you started responding back to your white haired friend.

"Why don't you just leave that up to your chef, Satoru."

Unbeknownst to you, you were listening to him not looking, he smirked when the sentence left your mouth.

"Yeah, but I feel like making the decisions over my palette today. Feeling frisky, y'know?"

He always says stuff like that, it's been one of his trademarks for as long as you've known him, but for some reason it had your face heating up as you pulverized your special grade out of existence with one closing of your fist.

You had turned around after the fact, trying your best in those milliseconds to get rid of that random feverish symptoms before he popped up behind you.

Lo and behold, he's right next to you before you can speak again.

He's wearing his uniform, along with his ever so interesting choice of headwear, his blindfold. He towers over you, effortlessly, with his hands in his pockets and that stupid light lipped smile he always has.

You almost want to take a step back when those mere details cause your heart to race. It's extremely off-putting to you when it happens.

"Or should I just tell my chef to go ahead and make that wagyu steak he set aside for me yesterday? It's supposed to taste divine with some wine." He cocks his head to side, smile growing a bit wider.

You give him half-assed eye roll, resorting to flicking his forehead when you respond, "Completely up to you Chosen On-."

He had grabbed you by the wrist of the arm you used to poke at him, lifting up over your head and towards him, pulling you a little to him in the aftermath of the action.

"But that's why I'm asking you." He fake sighs, "I'm asking my friend for advice."

You in return, actually sigh, "If you let go of me, I'll tell you what to eat."

You should've told him to eat-

stop.

why why why why why why why why why

You've known him for so long without this feeling grabbing and pulling at you. It's so bothersome when you're alone, the temptation to reach out to him and send him a text for a singular smidge of interaction with him is debilitating.

And it's a whole other beast when you can interact with him.

The god-strength you pull off to act as if you don't want to hold hands with him and listen to him talk all day is exhausting.

Because it has to fade away soon right?

When you get up after failing to get a satisfactory amount of sleep that morning, there's a text from your anti-melatonin on your phone.

Satoru

you want some croissants?

And before you can even think of a response, your doorbell rings.

Classic.

You run to the door as you hastily put on your robe, the pajamas underneath are not something you'd want him to see you in.

One peek through the peephole and you see his silky white hair standing up, it makes you open the door without hesitance.

"Oh, " He smirks, a brown fancy bag in hand, "who kept you up?"

Gojo is wearing at the moment one of his slutty long sleeves, the ones where his collarbones and shoulders make an appearance, along with those shaded in glasses of his.

This time you actually do give him a good roll of your eyes and chuck the bag out of his grasp, "Nobody. I just didn't sleep well."

He follows behind you as you walk into your apartment and to your dining table.

"That'll explain the eyes. Then why the skimpy pjs?"

You jump up a little, rushing to flatten your robe near your ass.

"How did you see?!"

"I didn't, just a little guess is all."

The urge to kick him in the shins seems more appealing than your everlasting urge to kiss him the moment he blabbers that.

You siphon two plates from your cupboards with a small movement of your hand and set them on the table, all with an annoyed look on your face.

"You can start eating, I'm going to change so my privacy isn't invaded by you again." You huff, stomping all the way to your bedroom.

"Won't start without ya." Satoru chides, leaning back in the chair he was in.

He did, in fact, see your ass peeking out from your robe, the little twirl you did after you took the bag from him lifted the skirt of it up a little. It was just enough to see a bit of lace clinging to your skin. It was a pretty color on you.

But he wanted to save you the embarrassment and stray away from the acknowledgment between the both of you that he's seen you like that, even if it was a smidge of-

You were naked.

Not directly in front of him, no, you'd never do that.

Your door was slightly ajar, but even though it was behind him, the mirror across from him and within his line of sight was all exposing of you.

You were topless, your back completely bare to him as you hauled up your jeans and buttoned them up.

He stopped breathing and felt something get stuck in his throat.

The entirety of skin felt like it was on fire, from his scalp to the pads of his toes. You should have completely closed your door. he can't help but stare until he drags his eyes away from the sight.

He won't even allow himself to touch the thoughts or feelings again, forcing himself to look out the window instead of through the mirror while he waits for you to change.

"What kind of croissants did you get?"

You're walking across the room and starting towards the seat next to him.

"Chocolate and pistachio." He exhales through a smile, as if he'd been thinking of something else before you asked him.

"But you like almond better." You cock your head to the side in curiosity as you start to open the bag. Chocolate and pistachio were only your favorites, and although he could eat them, you knew he loved his almond croissants.

"What can I say, I felt like switching it up today." He leaned forward, clasping his hands together and laying his head on them before he took the croissant you were offering him.

You gulped down the bite you had just taken and proceeded to ask him another question.

"So what brought you to be near my place?"

You wish you could see beyond his glasses when he turns his head to you and shrugs, "Looking for buildings with adequate cursed spirits for my students. Thought I'd pass by and get breakfast with you on my way."

"Yeah thanks for the heads up." You grumble a little, a little smile and a shake of your head following up.

"Wanna come with?" He speaks through a mouthful of croissant

You start to snark a little, "Do my job without any pay? Sounds like-"

"I'll get you lunch from the onigiri place you said was only for special occasions and then dinner at the restaurant you said had entrees pricier than your electricity bill." He smiled

You blinked up at him, it being cute to him a fact that he chose to brush over by waving his card in front of you, "Being the Chosen One has its benefits."

Which is why you found yourself walking through Tokyo with Satoru the entire day.

You'll admit, you wanted to say yes even if there were no financial benefits to it. He was a benefit enough, time with him was, but it wasn't within your best interest of hiding your feelings to say yes without missing a beat.

On the other hand, it hurt a little, to know you'd be spending the entire day with someone who makes your heart flutter and your eyes unable of holding eye contact. It hurt more that you knew the time together with him would strengthen the feelings your heart held for him.

Fuck it though. At least you get to be with him today.

He let you walk a bit in front of him the moment the both of you left the apartment. It was his best bet of keeping his eyes on you, knowing you were there with him in the swarm of people as opposed to the alternative of receiving that reassurance through the warmth of your hand on his. His six eyes do prevent any mishaps either way, but the domesticity of it was calming for him.

But your back was to him.

It gave him flashback thoughts to this morning, your body practically bare to him, the underwear you had on leaving little to the imagination.

He had to force his heart to beat normally.

"Hey Satoru, that building over there has loads of cursed energy. Wanna check it out."

"Yeah." He smiles nonchalantly, making sure his eyes only look at the top of your head and nothing else.

Both of you don't even need to enter the building when you get in front of it. A simple lift of Satoru's shades and he smiles knowingly.

"Now that one's gonna be fun for Makki."

"Yea?"

"Absolutely." He confirms confidently, placing the frames over his eyes again.

After marking down the address of the building, the two of you proceeded to look around for more spots within the city. And not that either of you two knew, but Satoru was scaring off every male within a 20 feet radius during the time spent looking. His eyes were hidden by the specs perched on his nose, but the animosity of an aura he held towards any ogling eyes at you were enough to frighten them off.

He wasn't aware of it, if it weren't any obvious to him after doing it countless other times while hanging out with you. Had he been self aware, he would've muted that part of his feelings too. If any, it gave him more peace. He didn't know it gave him peace, but what he was sure of was that the hairs on the back of his neck would stand up if a guy came up to you.

You, on the other hand, couldn't really notice when you only cared about the guy walking right behind you. All other eyes were white noise to you.

To the eyes of those around you, the both of you looked like any other couple walking around Tokyo together. Satoru was never a step too far behind you and followed you as you walked without never looking back, as if you knew he'd never leave your side as you guided the path.

But you weren't a couple, you were just friends.

The former statement needing a reminder when dinner came around.

Your waiter had just taken down both of your orders at the dimly lit restaurant Satoru had mentioned in the morning. It was on the top floor of a skyscraper and the sun had just set, setting a slightly tense ambience for you--and Satoru, but he couldn't confront that thought for himself. Satoru was very good at remaining neutral for his own benefit.

"Ah and what wine will you and the missus be enjoying tonight?"

"Giacomo Conterno Monfortino please." Gojo smiled politely as he closed his menu and picked up yours to hand it to the waiter.

Right.

It was a simple mistake of an assumption from the waiter, it didn't need the attention of either of you. You had to tell yourself that.

"You like this place so far?" Satoru asks with a cocky smile, leaning forward and resting his head on his palm.

"It's beautiful." You say stifling a small smile, "worth all my hard work today."

For a second, Gojo takes a small second too long to respond to you. He seems stuck in a thought during that time before he acts like he normally does.

"Definitely. I could tell you were about to break out in a sweat when you checked if Zara had any cursed spirits in their clothes after my eyes said otherwise."

"Sometimes flukes happen. I thought you knew that." You raised your hands up in defense, winking at him in the process.

His breath hitched milliseconds within you doing that and he started to say something when-

"And here is your Giacomo Conterno Monfortino."

Your waiter had come around with the wine Gojo ordered, serving it in both of your glasses before leaving the bottle there for the both of you to serve yourselves again if necessary.

You took a sip immediately after the waiter left and gestured the glass at Satoru, "You should take a sip, it's really good. But what were you going to say?"

Satoru leaned back in his seat, making it look as classy as possible considering the status of the restaurant you were in, and cradled the glass to his chest.

"Nothing really. Just banter."

After taking two sips, Gojo didn't care to drink anymore. He called for a glass of water when your dishes came around. It was nothing new to you, he wasn't much of a drinker. Being the strongest meant never saving space for vulnerability and the inhibitions of the drink would subdue his abilities to being low quality.

You, however, had already been two glasses in by the time you had finished your small bowl of soup and started cutting your steak into bite sized pieces.

"Someone's hungry." A teasing voice poked at you

You looked up from your chewing on the steak while cutting up another piece to eat and made eye contact with bright blue irises, lips curving upwards beneath them.

"And drunk."

You sat up straight in your seat, having accidentally been hunched over to devour your food. Unfortunately the quick movement cause your head to spin a little.

You couldn't say you weren't drunk, when in fact you were.

"I didn't think it through when I served myself that second glass." You lightly groaned, looking at the ceiling because looking at the former would make the wine further bring you down. Satoru's eyes would make the dizziness worse and get rid of all your inhibitions.

You had to calm yourself down.

"Why didn't you stop me?" You tried to deadpan at him when you gathered enough courage to face him again.

Tried.

You did deadpan at him, but it felt as if someone dipped your face in flames the moment he kept the eye contact with you.

"I wasn't going to tell you what to do." He shrugged, haughtily putting a bite of his chicken into his mouth.

"Ass." You murmur as you sadly take another bite of your steak.

It didn't take much longer for that second glass of wine to hit you even further. Satoru had asked the waiter for some water for you too after expressing your distress for him not stopping you any sooner, so you weren't going to get any worse--too much. Both of you had been quiet, more so you, the alcohol had made you oddly focus on finishing your dinner, until the waiter brought around the dessert.

It was a shared bowl of some fancy peach cobbler and vanilla ice cream, two spoons on either sides for either of you to take.

"This is huge Toru."

"What?"

"This is huge. I don't know if I'll be able to even eat half. You were right about the steak being too much earlier." You pouted, gathering a spoonful of peach cobbler and ice cream to feed yourself before you looked at Satoru with the biggest doe eyes he's seen from you.

He stares at you while getting his own spoonful.

"I'll help you. And even if we don't finish we could probably ask to take it to go, they probably have small coolers for something like this."

"Yea and then they'll think we're dating or married or something. Like a couple saving it to eat together later."

"Come again?"

You were slouched in your seat, trying your best to keep eating. The alcohol obviously lowering your guard both physically and mentally.

"When the waiter called me missus." Your lips curving downwards

"It doesn't matter if they think we're dating." He reassures, concentrated on swirling around his piece of peach and ice cream too much "It's just to go."

There were no worries in finishing the peach cobbler and ice cream you soon found out. Gojo, although not drunk, ate the dessert as if he was intoxicated. You stared at him throughout all of it, admiring how cute he looked even though he shared the same appearance you did when you stress ate.

The only worry that existed after, was the walk to your apartment. You two were obviously safe, more so you, it was Satoru Gojo walking you home after all, but it didn't mean that the space between you two was.

You hugged his arm to you the moment you felt a slight gust of wind. An action you didn't overanalyze because you weren't really thinking much at all. You knew you had feelings for him, but he didn't and clinging onto his arm because you were cold wouldn't let him know that. At least drunk you was simple enough to think that way. Had sober you been here, she would have flung you away from him.

He hadn't done or said anything to let you know it bothered him the entire walk to your place. He was oddly calm, not to say that he never was, he was always calm, but witty about it. He wasn't being witty right now. He only really spoke to tell you to watch your step when needed and to answer your question on how much time there was left to get to your place.

When you got to your apartment, you easily swiped your key card on the door and unlocked it.

"Thank you, Satoru." You gave him a close lipped smile with sleepy eyes.

"It's what I'm here for." He answers without a thought, shrugging like its second nature to be this nonchalant.

"Yeah?"

The second Satoru looks back to you after letting his eyes wander to your lips, your eyes look different.

"What." He breathes.

You keep looking at him, as if you hadn't heard him. Your only response being your breathing.

He steps forward without knowing, subconsciously trying to close the space between you. It's when he's about to lean into you that you speak up again, taking a step back.

"I think it's time for me to sleep." You bite your lip awkwardly, looking between the wall behind him and his eyes because the thought of enduring his gaze on you for more than two seconds was agonizing.

"Right." He straightens up

"I'll see you later." Your eyes get watery from holding back a small yawn, "Have a good night Satoru."

"Sleep well y/n"

#gojo satoru #gojo x reader #gojo slowburn #gojo fluff #gojo angst #gojo saturo #jjk gojo #jujutsu kaisen satoru #gojo satoru x reader

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strawberrynightmare · 7 months

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Mikey, Mitsuya, Koko & Izana with foodie s/o

Content warning: Just Izana being a little bit... extreme

Koko

~It all started when he took you birthday shopping. The two of you went to a mall and he told you to take anything you want and not look at the price, to which you hesitantly agreed. He expected to be dragged into a clothing or electronics shop. Whatever you wanted; jackets, shoes, bags, perfumes, headphones, games, or maybe, once you get more confident, a phone, tablet, laptop? Or even a tv?

~He got so lost in his fantasies it took him a few minutes to comprehend your current whereabouts.

~...A grocery store.

~Well, that’s fine. It’s completely reasonable that you’d want to do groceries. Duties first, pleasures second. Although he had to assure you that he’s more than happy to pay for your overflowing shopping cart full of sweets, snacks, cheese and other stuff. He didn’t let you carry everything yourself, either. He insisted he carries at least 3/4 of them.

~Then the two of you went to get pizza. For that, he paid without even asking. Of course, it wouldn’t be good to shop hungry. And then a sweet dessert - ice cream!

~And when he thought that this is where the actual shopping trip starts, you said that you were done and thanked him. He looked at you as if you were insane. Surely, you must have been joking.

~But instead of saying “just kidding”, you asked him if there’s anywhere he wants to go. This man was so flabbergasted that he just shook his head and silently walked you home.

~It didn’t take him long to accept his fate and change his strategy, though.

~Instead of more “classic” gifts, he began to buy you food. And rather than to the shopping malls, he took you to some of the most recommended restaurants. Pretty chill about it too. Although only for as long as he gets to pay. He can get petty when you don’t let him. The two of you literally race to the checkpoint

~And no, you are not visiting McDonald's, KFC or such things. He’s willing to (respectfully) argue with you about that. Why would you even look at their trash-quality food, when he’s more than willing to pay for something healthier and tastier? *proceeds to wave his credit card in front of your face until you give up*

~If there’s a specific food you crave out of the blue, all you have to do is text him. He’ll order it for you. Hell, he’ll even order anything he sees advertised on the internet that he thought you might like, so don’t get surprised when you get random parcels delivered to your door.

~If you’re worried about your eating habits, he’ll suggest visiting a dietician and will even accompany you there. Won’t force you or stick his nose into your eating habits unless it’s clearly dangerous for your health, though. Most of the time he just supports every decision you make.

~Literally the definition of “Eat whatever you want, I can pay.”

Izana

~Okay this guy 100% loves to watch you eat. You can’t convince me otherwise.

~Like, imagine you’re casually enjoying your waffles and he sits right in front of you, staring at you, drilling holes into your soul with his gaze. Like this ◉_◉. He doesn’t even order anything for himself no matter how many times you ask him if he’s sure that he’s not hungry.

~Your boyfriend literally can get high on dopamine from watching you eat something you like. He doesn’t get bored. Each time the two of you meet, he just kinda gives you some kind of a snack and at this point, you don’t even question it, cause he’s gonna do it either way. The two of you start talking, he automatically extends his hand with a snack towards you and you automatically take it without missing a beat.

~The moment you split your food in half and offered it to him, he was so moved. In his mind, he swore to protect you forever. I’ve seen memes about girlfriends saying they don’t want anything to eat and then eat their boyfriend’s food. Which kind of resembles him because he’ll only eat if it’s from your plate. Can’t get his own for his life.

~I can clearly imagine a scenario where a gang fight occurs and all of the enemies get heavily beaten up except for that one guy who’s captured at the very beginning and then, at the end, they let him go with no more than a scratch, simply because he’s the son of the owner of your favourite sushi restaurant.

~At the same time, imagine what happens to the people whose food you dislike. Without a blink, he’d watch you eat something, and instead of the usual bliss he sees on your face, you frown and begin to slow down before hesitantly putting down the eating utensils. He’d ask you if anything’s wrong and after you reply that this dish is not really to your liking, he’d just smile and offer that you eat somewhere else. Then, the next day, you heard in the news that the very same restaurant burned to ashes during the night. The cause of the fire was unknown.

~Another time, he accidentally saw you out in the town with a friend. He just happened to be nearby and considered saying hello when he heard your friend complaining about you eating way too much. You didn’t seem to take it seriously, but a dark glint in his eyes appeared at that time.

~”I never had a problem with how much they eat…”

~Hopefully, you weren’t very close with that friend (._.)

~Lowkey the devil on your shoulder. He only means good, but he never really tells you no. If you’re thinking about whether to get something to eat, you don’t even have to look at him to know his advice. And if you can’t decide between two things, he’ll just get you both no big deal. Even if he’s aware that it might not be the best for you, it’s not like an additional portion of ice cream will harm you, right?

~He’ll even go as far as to rob a grocery store with his gang to get you a good supply of snacks. You might want to establish some boundaries with him. Just saying.

~Overall, wants the best, but tends to take things to the extremes.

Mitsuya

~Say no more.

~Actually, he’d cook for you almost each time you come to visit him even before he learns about your fondness for good food. And when he does? You got yourself a personal chef and no amount of insisting and resisting will get you out of this.

~Legit gets offended if you refuse to let him make you food and suggest eating in the town instead.

“Haaa? You’d rather pay for some stranger’s stuff rather than eat what your boyfriend prepared for you with love?”

~And it doesn’t matter that you only have the best intentions in mind and you don’t want to overwork him. He’s having none of that. If you really insist that you want to eat at some restaurant or worse- a fast food restaurant (!) he has no power to stop you. He’ll go with you, but he’ll be silent most of the time and will be glaring at you as you eat.

“I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.”

~But the moment you finally break, and promise to always choose his food over others, he’s momentarily back to himself, apologising and cuddling the hell out of you. Overbearing, but he does it out of care.

~That’s where it ends though. He invites you to eat dinner with him every few days and sometimes makes you snacks, but the rest is up to you. He doesn’t really stick his nose into your eating habits. And he doesn’t forbid you from eating in restaurants either. He’ll straight out encourage you to try out new places, but that’s only as long as he’s not able to cook for you himself, probably due to lack of time.

~If he sees some occasional food trucks or other kinds of time-limited food stalls, he’s absolutely getting you stuff from there. He’ll probably get a little bit of everything so that the two of you can go back there and eat whatever you liked the most.

~And if he sees someone bothering you for your eating habits, he won’t hesitate to pull them aside and scold them or even start a fight if necessary.

~Will ask his friends and fellow gang members if they’ve been to any good restaurants/bars/cafes/food stalls or anything recently so that he can take you there later.

~Also, will try out even more new recipes and even has a little notebook where he writes down your favourite ones. Then, on some grand dates like anniversaries, your birthday or valentines, he’ll prepare little feasts entirely made out of your favourites.

~HOLD HIM FROM BEHIND AS HE COOKS. The first time you did it he froze and started blushing like crazy. He’d pin you to the wall and make out with you if he didn’t have milk on the stove.

~From there on, he usually demands that you do it each time you ask if he needs any help or feel guilty with how much effort he puts in for you. This is it, this is the payment. Bonus points if you nuzzle your face into his shoulder. It’s his favourite thing to make him relax.

~Compliment his cooking and he’ll be genuinely thrown off. It’s something which always manages to make his mind all hazy and the butterflies in his stomach spring to life. Don’t let him brush it off! Keep going to witness the great mitsuya takashi embarrassed and shy.

~All in all, LET HIM COOK

Mikey

I came up w/ this one while taking a shit

~I can literally see a whole love story forming there.

~Imagine you decided on a study break, went to some shop nearby and bought some snacks. Let’s say, a croissant or two. A full ass croissant with chocolate inside and stuff. And you go to the park to enjoy it. It’s late afternoon, you find a bench hidden in the shadow of some old maple and bon appetit!

~You were halfway in, when you noticed that someone sat at the opposite side of the bench. You glanced that way and saw a blonde who looked to be about your age. He was also eating, but it was dorayaki. Without thinking much about it, your attention shifted back to your treat. After you were done, you quietly left.

~Then, a whole week later, it was also around that time that you decided to have some air, went to the same store and this time, bought a box of cookies. Once again, you ventured into the park and soon noticed that the bench you occupied last time was once again empty. So you sat there and enjoyed your break.

~And again, the very same blonde appeared and sat nearby but with a different snack.

You were suddenly pulled out of your blissful state by the stranger’s voice.

“Can I have one cookie?” You turned to look at him. “I’ll give you pocky in exchange,” he noticed the slight surprise on your face and sent you a reassuring smile. “Is it too sudden? Sorry, but they just smell so good. Seriously, what flavour is this?”

“I think it’s because of the orange filling,“ you extended the box towards him as he moved closer to you. He took one cookie and offered you his pocky.

“Thank you! Now try this, it’s green tea flavoured.”

“Nice, thanks.”

~No more words were spoken and as you finished, you simply said your goodbye and left. But the next time you went there, he was on the bench already. When he noticed you, he waved you in greeting and another exchange took place, this time, you also had a little small talk. Then, the same situation kept repeating until the two of you sat right next to each other and chatted casually.

~Every few days, you headed to the bench, hoping to see him there. But after some time, it didn’t simply end on the bench hangouts. He’d ask you to go with him to that cafe you spoke so fondly about. Or the ramen restaurant he recommended.

~As you began to spend more time together, you exchanged numbers, began to text each other and even developed feelings. None of you could point out the exact time when you fell in love. It just felt so right when you were together, you soon began to officially date.

~Which brings us to this point. Seriously, you’re like twin souls. It is now a common occurrence for the two of you to exchange food or even steal each other’s. Literally imagine you and a few of his friends hanging out at his place and he looks through his drawers frowning for a while and finally asks “who took my limited edition strawberry taiyaki?” with a death voice. No one dares to breathe, but there you are, head peeking from the bathroom. “Oh, I ate it”.

~Everyone gets ready to hold Mikey down to at least give you a few minutes to run, but he just gets back to his normal mode and smiles. “Did you like it? I’ll buy more for you next time then.” And they’re absolutely bewildered. No, I will never get tired of this trope

~Food dates all of the time. Cafe, restaurant, bar, grocery store, name it and you’ll be going there. Especially if you’re too shy to go on your own. There is no such thing as ‘too much food’ in his dictionary. Eat to your heart’s content and if anyone dares to comment, we all know what happens.

~Totally the type to bring you some sweets and ask for cuddles, kisses and letting him sleep on your lap in exchange. But hey! You can do the same. Actually, you don’t even have to get him anything. He’s physically unable to say no to you even if he sometimes gets a little bit pouty, a few minutes later he doesn’t even remember why he was mad in the first place.

~Once you have dated for some time, he’s the type to ask you how does your food taste while you’re eating, and as you’re moving your plate towards him, it’s 50/50 whether he demands you to feed him or steals a kiss and then licks his lips and says, “it’s good.”

~The spoon feeding though. He wants you to feed him just as much as he wants to feed you. It makes everyone in the 10 metre radius look away. Especially if you happen to be hanging out with his friends. The moment you start, various groans and sighs can be heard all around you. But at the same time, they all have those little smirks on their lips.

~Their leader is smitten. Good for him.

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caeqey · 16 days

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‎♡‧₊˚࿐ the little things — 엔하이픈 thoughts

or — things my suitor does, that i think en- members would do too

#wc 1k+ pairing ⟢ highschool bf!en- members x gn!reader ⸝⸝ genre : fluffㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ , angst if you squint warnings .ᐟ mentions an argument, food/ed (reader forces themself to not eat)

이희승 : messages you after every round

early in your relationship with heeseung, you quickly caught onto the fact that he loves gaming. you didn't mind it of course, it was nice that he had his own thing. it only became a problem when it started feeling like he cared more about his games than he did you. not wanting to assume the worst, you decided to talked to him about it. heeseung was honestly upset, not because he thought you were being selfish, but because his actions made you feel that way. since then, he loves to text you in between rounds, updating you about the silliest things like —

“baby look! i ranked up 😁” , “I GOT BATTLE ROYALE BABY YIPEE” and often, you'd see notifications like “sorry baby, i was in game. can you play with me next time, please?”

박종성 : brings you food for lunch

jay was aware that you had a bad habit of not eating your food. often times, you'd give your lunch to your friends. it hurt him, seeing you not eat, forcing yourself not to. he took note of your behaviour and then had the bright idea that he should make you your lunch. he never forced you to eat his cooking though, but he did encourage you. as time passed, you grew a healthier relationship with not only food, but with jay as well. the delicious meals he made daily were truly the highlight of your day. every now and then, he also likes to slip in notes that say —

“eat well, you deserve it dear :)” . “i know this is your fav, so i hope i did it justice ( ._. )” , “ sorry if it tastes burnt, making tanghulu is harder than it seems :(“

심재윤 : asks you to go to his games

volleyball season has finally arrived at your school, and that meant only one thing for you. watching your dear boyfriend's games on the daily. being the libero of the senior volleyball team was not a light task, but jake seemed to enjoy it nonetheless. whether it was a regular game or a tournament, he would always ask you to go. you didn't really have much of a choice though, since you are part of the school's photography club. this meant that attending games was mandatory for you. but, mandated or not, you wouldn't dare miss any of his games. it's delightful to see jake in his element, it's as if his aura changes the moment he's on the court. but of course, your boyfriend being the guy he is, jake always reminds you to —

“take pictures of me please !” , “cmonn you're a photographer, you have to take pictures of me” with a pout. however he seems to always say “WOAH THESE LOOK SO GOOD!!! i knew you were amazing sweetheart” in the end.

박성훈 : likes to watch you make art

as one of the school's most prominent artists, you are very well known for the art that you create. sometimes you art would be submitted in national competitions and you'd often get complimented on your skills during your school's art shows. and sunghoon is no different from those who admired your art. in fact, your boyfriend is "your number #1 fan" (as he likes to put it). he loves to go to your house, just sitting there and watching you work with the medium you chose. one day, you asked him why he loves to watch you every time to made art. he thought about what to say for a moment before stating —

“well, i find it odd how you're constantly told that your artwork is stunning, but you're never told that it looks even better as you're working on it. it's like you're an extension of the piece, my darling, you're abeautiful work of art as well.” tearing up at his words, you engulfed him in a tight hug.

김선우 : sends you pictures of the sunset/sunrise

your boyfriend knows how fond you are of the sunset and sunrise. even before you had gotten together, you two would always stay up all night to watch it rise when morning came. ironically, the day (or night ?) you two had gotten together, was when you were once again waiting for dawn. so, whenever sunoo had the chance to, he would always try to send pictures of the lovely sun rising and setting. it became your thing, something only you two did with each other. those pictures would often come with texts like —

“goodmorning honey! isn’t the sunset so pretty?” , “i was out walking and noticed the sun was setting hehe”, “hiii are you uppp? look what i saw :)”

양정원 - loves to build legos with you

both you and jungwon have always been interested in legos, and there was no exception to that.even when you two go to the mall. often entering the lego store to browse for any sets that you liked. so it did not come to you as a surprise when your lovely boyfriend gifted you a set of lego roses for your birthday. he knows how much you’ve wanted to build these types of things with him, it was practically the best gift he could’ve ever thought of! now sitting across from each each other, crossed legged and giggling. things were going as planned until —

“love it’s the other way around!” you exclaimed, “wait, huh ???” despite his experience in lego set building, flowers were not his thing. “the petal, i mean. it’s upside” you chuckled. the night of your birthday went on smoothly as you two continued creating the plastic flower arrangement.

西村力 — is the miles to your gwen

riki is actually the reason why you had taken an interest in the famous spider hero. he would often talk about the movies and the comics with you, which interested you the more he talked about it. you adored it when he geeked out about his interests, it was the side of him that no one really saw. soon, you were just as addicted as he was. and when the across the spiderverse movie had come out, you two did not miss the opportunity to watch it together. by the time his birthday rolled in, you thought about the perfect birthday present. matching bracelets that were impressed by miles and gwen. you were undeniably anxious though, even spending all night pondering about how he’d feel about the gift. but upon opening your gift he said —

“woah!! it's so cool, thank you!!” riki smiled, genuinely. “wait, hey, are you alright?” he asked, sensing your anxiousness. “i’m glad you like it. and uhm, i know that miles and gwen don't exactly end up on good terms by the end of the movie… but don't worry riks. we're gonna do our own thing”

note ᝰ.ᐟ please tell me someone got the atsv reference in riki's part (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞ anyways i hope you guys enjoyed this !! please leave feedback, it would really help me out :)

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wosoamazing · 3 months

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Negative Thoughts & Beach Days

Summary: Based of this request.

Warnings: Eating Disorders, R calling themselves fat, RED-S syndrome.

A/N: This took longer than I expected sorry. I hope you like it, might do a part two where R talks to Leah and Jonas etc. I took forever to come up with the title - don't be surprised if I change it.

“She’s so fat” “She’s ugly” “Literal definition of nepotism, search it up in the dictionary and you would find her, she is so unfit and a bad player, screams nepotism.”

Leah had always told you there are two main rules to being a professional sports person. Number one do not read the comments on any posts about you, and number two if you don’t listen to number one and do read the comments don’t let them get to you. But these three comments weren’t alone, they were three of millions, it had been going on for a month, its hard not to let them get to you, you open social media, and they were plastered all over your screen. You tried to ignore them, block them out of your head, but they always managed to find a way to wiggle in and eventually they were all consuming thoughts.

The girls first noticed an odd change in your eating habits one morning at breakfast, you didn’t stop at your routine stop in front of the cereal instead you continued over to the fruit picking up a fruit salad, you also had decided to have wholemeal bread instead of white bread this morning for your toast, these decisions received a few confused looks from the girls as you sat down, no one knew why, they just thought maybe you wanted to try and be healthier, so no one thought much of it and just shrugged it off.

You were 16, turning 17 in 2 months and had never had your period. Leah said you were lucky, that you didn’t have to deal with it. RED-S syndrome was what every single doctor you ever spoke too yapped on about, along with exercising less, which they all regretted saying the second after, exercising was your job, you couldn’t really stop it, plus it kept you skinny. You didn’t really listen to what anyone said, nor did you care, in your mind not having a period meant that you were skinny enough, you were thin enough, you were fit enough. This was far from the truth but in your distorted reality it was the truth. So, the day you got your first ever period your whole world collapsed, in your reality you were now classed as fat. In reality you weren’t, you were insanely skinny. But you weren’t in reality. You stopped eating snacks, you thrived off snacks or at least that’s what the girls said, but you had stopped eating them, that did concern them, but you were still eating your three full meals a day so no one was too concerned, well except for Alessia, she would always ask “You sure you don’t want some?” in regards to popcorn on movie nights, or “What happened to your snacks?” you knew somewhere deep down that she was concerned and just trying to help but you didn’t take the comments that way, it felt like she was having a go at you, and one day you snaped, “Alessia, why do you even care, it’s not like you’re in charge of me, you’re not my Mum, my Dad, you’re not Leah, you don’t fucking get to constantly nag me about food, you have no fucking idea what is going on. Just leave me alone” she stood there in shock that day and so did you, before you ran up to your room and locked it, she did know what was going on which is why she was trying to say things lightly, however she forgot that you wouldn’t have taken them lightly she had been in your position a few years ago and felt so bad that she forgot what it felt like when someone said something like that, so she stepped back.

You also started to wear obviously baggier clothes after your first period, you loved to wear anything with spaghetti straps that’s coverage stopped at your ribs, Leah referred to your clothes as ‘non-clothes’ saying you may as well just wear your underwear. But now you would always be found in a baggy overside hoodie or shirt and a pair of sweats, to be fair it was winter, however even in winter you would wear your Nike Pros and a cropped hoddie or cropped rugby jumpers, so the girls were confused and they didn’t really understand why you started wearing trackies and hoodies but the one day they had discussed it Alessia told them to just leave it be and she would deal with it. She wasn’t sure how she would deal with it, however the moment arrived on your team trip to Ibiza.

_____

It was the fourth day of your holiday trip with the team and today it was decided that you were all going to the beach, you had managed to suggest other activities, and avoided the beach for the previous three days. The girls were slightly confused as to why you were avoiding the beach as usually you were the one to suggest it and you always jumped at the idea. You loved to wear the skimpiest bikini Leah (or your Mum – depending on whether it was a team or family trip) would let you get away with, lounging on the sand for half of the day getting a good tan before turning into a four-year-old and splashing everyone in the ocean. You even once filled up a bucket of water and tipped it over Katie’s head when she was sleeping on the beach, it was safe to say you regretted that one.

“Come-on, Y/N lets go to the beach.” Alessia said as she pounded on your door, she waited a bit “If you don’t come out in the next minute, I will assume you’re sick and I’ll come in, whether you are dressed or not”.

“I’m still getting ready” you told her.

“How? Just choose the aquamarine bikini set, the side tie and triangle bikini ones, as I’ve told you before it definitely has the least coverage and Leah lets you wear it, and you always wear it, it’s your favourite, every time after I tell you to put it on you thank me, just chuck it on and let’s go” for some reason these words caused a tear to roll down your cheek, as you stared down at the bikini set that was laid out on your bed in front of you, the exact set Alessia said to put on, however there was one problem, it didn’t fit anymore, you tried it on last night and it didn’t fit, you had developed slightly since the last time you wore it and now it would be considered inappropriate to wear, you didn’t see it that way though in your mind you were too fat to fit into your own bikini.

“Less, just go down and meet the girls I’ll be like 5 minutes, I promise,” you said trying to get Alessia off your back, you felt as though you would break any second and you didn’t want Alessia there when you did.

“No, I’m waiting, why aren’t you ready yet though? You’ve had all morning, quite literally. Are you okay?” Alessia said back, she had some idea of what might be happening behind that door, she could feel it in the air, you were going to break, and she promised the girls she would help you and that they didn’t need to worry.

“I just can’t find them, I-I’m fine ” You said whilst your voice broke a little, ‘shit’ you thought to yourself, she will know something is not right and she won’t leave.

“Well, I hope you have pants on because I’m coming in,” she said half-jokingly, half seriously, whilst flinging your door open. “Um… what are these?” She said as she picked up the bikini set off the bed. Tears started streaming down your face as she looked over to you, you were caught. “Hey, what’s up?” She asked in a soft tone, you didn’t reply and slid down the wall, your knees were up near your chest as you hugged your legs, your head placed on your knees, your body started shaking from your sobs.

You heard Alessia’s footsteps, and then the creek of the door, then her footsteps stopped, maybe everyone was right, maybe no one actually liked you, Alessia just saw you start sobbing and left, maybe you were just a burden, maybe no one cared about you, maybe they wanted you gone, maybe …. “Y/N” your thought train was interrupted, Alessia was back, she sat down next to you and pulled you into her lap, at first you resisted but you gave up, she lightly pushed your head into her neck, and immediately you let your body relax against hers, you were still shaking from your crying and Alessia just let you sit there while she held you tightly rubbing your back. “Hey, can you drink some water for me?” Alessia said, her voice laced with concern, it had been at least five minutes, and you hadn’t calmed down, reluctantly you took the water bottle of her and took some small sips. “Thank you, now I think we both know what is going on here, but I would like to hear it from you,” she said, you knew this was coming honestly you expected this conversation weeks ago when you snapped at her but it didn’t mean you were prepared for it at all, you let out a sigh, “I promise I’m here for you, I won’t leave you alone, I’ll be here for you every step of the way, I’ll help you, your like my little sister, I care about you and I want to help, but I need you to tell me what’s up,” she said, a tear rolled down her check she knew the pain you were feeling and wished she could make it magically disappear but she couldn’t.

“I’m f-fat,” you cried out.

“That’s not true, you know that”.

“Yes, it is, I got my period, I don’t fit into my bikini and I-”

“Oh baby girl,” Alessia cuts you off pulling you in tighter, she didn’t need the rest, she had seen it, they girls had seen it, but they had hoped you hadn’t but obviously you had, “I promise you, you are most definitely not fat, getting your period just means that you’re getting healthy, and maturing and every girl grew out of their clothes at one stage, I grew out of multiple bikinis at your age and I still do but that doesn’t mean I’m fat does it? I promise none of us think that your fat, or unfit and I swear on my life that every single girl in this team would do anything for you, we all care about you so much and we all love you so much,”

“Okay, I-I’m sorry” you replied to her, you had slightly calmed down but tears were still streaming down your face.

“For what?” Alessia asked confused, “Being a burden”.

“Baby, you know you’re not a burden, this isn’t your fault, we will get you help okay, I can talk to the girls, to Leah but you will also have to talk to her yourself, I’ll help you, I can come with you to see Jonas, we can make a plan with Leah, and I promise every single girl on the team will also be with you every step of the way okay?”

“Okay, can we stay here for a bit?” You ask.

“Well, I think the girls are getting a little worried, what if we go down to the swimwear store and I buy you some new swimmers, whatever you like and then we can go to the beach, and you don’t have to swim if you don’t want to, I can stay with you if you want, but I think we should at least go down to the beach.” Alessia said as she dragged you up, she grabbed you both towels, hats and she grabbed her sunnies. You followed her down to the swim store and bought a nice set of bathers.

You made your way to the beach, Leah stood up and walked over to you, “Are you okay?” she asked as she gave you a hug, looking at Alessia for an answer as to why your face was puffy and tear stained, “She will be okay, we’ll talk about it later, let’s just enjoy our beach day first” Leah’s brow furrowed but she nodded her head, Leah trusted Alessia, so she decided to leave it until the end of the day. You were nervous for the conversation that was to be had at the end of the day but for now you decided to enjoy your beach day, but it was a bit more relaxed today you sat and talked with the older girls rather than messing about with the younger girls, you even fell asleep while tanning, you woke up to Leah reapplying your sunscreen and as promised Alessia stayed with you all day.

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