#pet death for ts

[kedreeva]

The last photos of Stan Lee, the Cameo peacock.

I like to think he had a decent last day. We tube fed him early this morning so he would not feel hungry or thirsty despite that he could no longer find food or water. He spent the rest of the day loafing in the sunlight, surrounded by hens that liked him a great deal because he was always super gentle and sweet to his ladies. He always loved babies, and Aurora's 2023 kids were no exception, and I caught both of them cuddled up to Stan at one point as well. Even though he couldn't see them, I hope he knew he was not alone. I hope that they feel they got to say their goodbyes- I haven't heard anyone calling for him, so that's a good sign.

As the sun began to set, I came out to get him, and he was by himself for the first time, sleeping along the wall in the sun. He didn't fuss when I picked him up, and rode quietly in the car to the vet. He laid quietly in my lap in the waiting room, and I watched a rainbow crawl across his wing and back while we waited. As he fell asleep from the initial sedation, some of the vet staff that had seen him often the last 7 years for his many issues came to say goodbye quietly. They let me stay with him through the Final Sleep, as well, and he went just as quickly and quietly. Perhaps he thought it was time as well.

I am going to miss him like crazy. I never wanted a cameo bird, partly because I know they are prone to carrying health issues and blindness in particular, but he wobbled his way right into my heart once he was in my hands.

I set aside his final train of feathers, along with a good deal of his saddle and some of his neck feathers, as keepsakes. One primary from each wing, some of his actual tail feathers. I will make myself a feather vase from it when I am up to it.

Sark helped me to bury Stan's body beneath the weeping willow sapling we planted last summer. It's near the coops, rather than in the death orchard, as he never particularly liked sleeping near other birds at night, only by day.

It has not been an easy two days, but I know once I have some distance, his memory will certainly be a blessing for me, and for everyone whose lives he touched along the way. His train was always full of hearts from all the love.

#stan the peachick #animal death for ts #pet death for ts #my pets #peafowl #peacocks #pet death #animal death

[nutmegnautilus]

When Tyler and I first moved in together back in August, I wanted to draw a family portrait of us and our cat, Sullivan. Unfortunately, between the move and my nightjob becoming quite busy, I was unable to find the time. Then, Sullivan suddenly fell ill and left us in November. For weeks I drove home from work thinking about that portrait, wondering if it was too late. But then I figured it might be nice to make family portraits for both of the cats I’ve had, as a little dedication. It felt nice to visit with both of my cats again. I got to capture what I love about both of them!

Elliott liked being held upside down like a baby, and he’d stroke my cheek with his paw. He had a squeaky meow and a tendency to get up on my piano while I practiced. He liked the smell of strawberries, and would nuzzle up to anything that smelled like them. Oddly enough, he loved curling up next to the vacuum cleaner, and batting tennis balls around the house.

Sullivan was a snuggle bug -- literally climbing into my arms at the shelter and rubbing my face, and loved being held. When I came home from work, he would wake up, stretch out of his cat tree cubby, and climb onto my shoulders -- whether I was ready for it or not. We would both walk around our home with him on our shoulders. He’d also curl up between us at night. He had a little black heart on his back toe beans. He never figured out where the sound of his mealtime alarm came from.

#cat #self portrait #original #friend art #digital #2023 #nutmeg art #sullivan #elliott #pet death cw / #animal death cw / #also yeah it was elliott with 2 Ts. I didn't know how to spell it at the time and it kind of stuck lol / #anyways. I miss my cats and I love my darling very much /

[sysig]

Come back as a flower, spring Baby

Tala took it pretty hard. Makes sense

Hopefully, anyway. Live food that has the opportunity to hide can be hard to keep track of, so it’s possible they were stressed too... But at least that would be something familiar, not a big scary shadow to run away from

Even selfish, childish thoughts deserve a place to be recognized. There’s no utility in piling shame on top of grief

It felt really strange to logically know that they were gone but still believing so hard that I could somehow undo it, that they’d start moving again if I just did the right thing. Death really does strange things to the brain

#Doodles #Spider #Nhandu Chromatus #Tala #Vent #TW animal death #I haven't had a pet all of my own since I was very small - about Tala's age - and this was the first one that I was 100% responsible for #Bought and fed and cleaned and made their enclosure - everything mine for the first time #So it's also the hardest I've ever taken a pet death - at least in the past two decades so it might as well be forever haha #I was blaming myself pretty hard the day I found them - I'd been away for a couple days and when I finally checked they were gone #Gave me the kind of vibe of someone who's so alone that no one finds their body until [x reason] - as if no one cared enough to look #But mostly I felt bad because it looked like they had attempted a molt but hadn't even flipped over #Like they'd just given up - like they knew that it wasn't even worth putting in the effort #I think now that I've looked it up I know what happened - spiders get a lot of their fluid intake from their prey #And because they'd been in premolt they'd been refusing food - and while I spritz their enclosure it's not a very reliable water source #I'd been wanting to wait until they were a bit bigger before I put in a water dish because I was very paranoid about them drowning #I'd heard horror stories of people waking up to their Ts submerged as if they'd fallen in and couldn't pull themselves back out #I hadn't considered that the opposite was even a possibility - that was my mistake and I feel guilty about it #But it is at least the minorest of comforts to know it wasn't a lack of space to molt - maybe - that killed them #I still want to ask seasoned spider people but it hurts to think about telling them what happened #It didn't feel real at first. It took a while for it to sink in and the entire time I just kept waiting for them to move again #I really didn't want the first time holding them to be to bury them #I could think selfishly and hope that they were a male after all - that they wouldn't've had very long #But they should've been here for years #I really wanted to do better by them #In some ways it feels silly to cry so much over a spider haha but I really wanted to do right by them and to not be able to...

[squirrelwrangler]

sad news- my mom had to put down her old whippet today- had a little over a week/two weeks learned that the old guy had bladder cancer and the tumor had spread to over 90% of said bladder. She had him on chemo pill to see if it'd help- dog too old and tumor way too big for a surgery option. Dog was twelve, and she tends to have them die on her to health issues around 11-12, sometimes earlier if freak accidents (Previous male whippet more than ten years before was lost due to a succession of strokes at 9) and heart problems. (Breed average lifespan can be more than that but she's had a decades long streak of losing them before 13/14). Old dog had an extreme heart murmur so that it was bladder cancer of all things out of the blue. But his kidneys were starting to go too on Sunday and by last night that he was in pain was obvious. Due to history with her first male whippet, my mom doesn't like to keep terminally ill dogs past the point she feels the pain versus quality of life is more about the owner's grief. So this morning she took him in and the vet immediately agreed. Still it's hard even if my mom is outwardly very accepting, especially that the old dog had a relatively long life full of sporting events and achievements and that she was here with him.

And of course that this summer my sister's old male pom died of what was probably heart failure and she's still grieving. But the irony is that the other old whippet - the one that's my dad's as the rest of the whippets are my mom's- is the aunt of the old male dog. And that old bitch - she also has cancer. The type that's usually in the spleen but is this large tumor on the dog's shoulder, the one that this same vet estimated would kill her in months at the most because this is the time of also aggressive cancer that has an expectancy of weeks... And it's been almost two whole years and the old bitch mostly ignores the tumor lump and it seems to not effect her at all. Also the first exception to that 12 year cut off date in twenty years as she's I think 14. The joke is that the old bitch will outlive everyone, including the two yo twin puppy boys (sons of the old male dog, very much the same in personalities). Grantie is cranky about her stupid grand-nephews if she's trying to nap, but otherwise tolerates them fine.

It's a bit rough having this happen so soon relatively after the death of the other old male dog (the pom), and that both happened after the diagnosis of the old bitch, and does dredge up my lingering sadness of losing my goober hound. And just like the weekend after my sister lost her pom, she and my mom are going to a UKC dog show event, which will be good to hang around several dog show world friends and sympathetic ears doing things with the living dogs in a separate location. Hopefully the twin terrors behave themselves.

#ts: pet death #cancer #animal death #personal silly woes

[teyamsatan]

Illicit Affairs | Chapter IX: Seven

Pairing: Neteyam x Human/Avatar!Reader

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter X

Synopsis: As your life comes to an end, someone you never thought you'd see again helps both you and Neteyam navigate your past and future.

Warnings: pure angst, mentions of death, mental illness, addiction, self-injury, no mentions of Y/N, cursing, some fluff, a lot of crying, like too much crying honestly

Word Count: 9,3k words

A/N: The second to last chapter is here, and with it also comes the beginning of the end. I am honestly so sad at the thought of this series finishing, I have spent every minute of my life thinking and living in it, and I am not ready for it to end (wink wink). This chapter was the most emotionally draining piece of writing I have ever done, but I am so happy with the way it turned out. I hope you like it, and that you find some comfort in this story, the way I found comfort in writing it and sharing it with you. I am so so excited about the last chapter, and I will start writing it right away. As always, thank you so much for engaging with my work and for all the support, I loved reading your comments and asks so so much, they make my life honestly. (Pls listen to seven by TS when reading this, I think it will enhance the experience x also jake saying babygirl does things to me ok byee x )

“Please, picture me in the trees, I hit my peak at seven Feet, in the swing over the creek, I was too scared to jump in Please picture me in the weeds, before I learnt civility I used to scream ferociously any time I wanted ...Are there still beautiful things?”

Neteyam left the clearing with so much anger it could be mined as a new energy source. He couldn’t believe this, couldn’t believe you. He was losing you, over and over, and now will lose you permanently. His heart bled so much, he didn’t think he could make it back to the village in the state he was in. He spent the last month of his life, the last month of your life, training you, ignoring his feelings for you, having dinner with another woman, when he should have been loving you, helping you heal and checking in on your human form, that he spent his whole life with and then abandoned for your Avatar. You took everything from him by keeping this a secret. His whole life, his future, the chance at any happiness or hope or trust in loved ones. He would never forgive you for this. You robbed him of everything and your death will bring his own, maybe not physical, but spiritual and emotional. 

He didn’t want to go back to the village, couldn’t go back to the village. He couldn’t hear it, couldn’t hear them talking about you, about your death, he couldn’t see them cry and mourn, for the woman he will love as long as his beating heart was still pumping blood, and not die, not collapse due to the overbearing weight of his broken soul. There was only one place he thought to go, only one place he might find any semblance of peace: Vitraya Ramunong, the Tree of Souls.

Norm and the Sullys were still in the tent, discussing ways to get you to accept the consciousness transfer, brainstorming every possible idea, even thinking of literally tying you to a bed and pumping you with the drugs that they knew would buy you, buy them some more time to change your mind. They all jumped at the screech that came from just outside their tent, and Jake got his gun resting by his side and saw the rest of his family arming themselves with bows and knives at the ominous sound. When they made it outside, they were shocked to see your ikran, a beautiful beast, batting her wings aggressively and hissing in their direction. 

“What is it, girl?” Jake said, approaching her carefully and petting her head gently. The ikran opened her mouth and took Jake’s hand in hers, which elicited a furious reaction from Neytiri, to which Jake raised his other hand in a calming gesture.

“She’s not hurting me, she’s pulling me away, towards the lab. I think she’s trying to tell us something.” 

His heart dropped at the thought of what could your ikran be wanting to show them so ardently, so urgently. He has never seen such behaviour from a banshee, and he realises painfully how much of an imprint you have made on this world, on life all around you. He wishes this world would have made as much of an impact on you, maybe if it had, you wouldn’t want to leave it so soon. 

Jake got on the banshee without making the bond, and she immediately took off. 

“Take the Ikrans or Pa’li and hurry to the lab, I have a really bad feeling.”

The last thing he saw is his entire family calling for their animals, the hurry and desperation enveloping all of them like a warm, suffocating blanket. 

The banshee landed in a small clearing with a river source in the middle of it. It was a beautiful place that Jake has somehow never stumbled through before, but he couldn’t think about it too much when another, more urgent matter caught his eye. A small and fragile frame, motionless on the ground. 

“KID!” He jumped from the back of the ikran like it was lava, and ran as quickly as he possibly could, kneeling on the ground next to you. His face immediately went to your masked one, trying to see if he could spot breathing. Two fingers rushed to your throat, looking for a pulse he couldn’t feel. 

“Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck, don’t do this to me, baby girl. Come on, please.” 

He removed your mask and starting giving you CPR, his two hands wrapped around each other in firsts as he rhythmically compressed your chest in the spot right on top of your heart. Thirty compressions, two breaths, thirty compressions, two breaths. He was trying so hard to remain calm and collected, but his mind was screaming with the image of you on the ground, dead or dying, he still didn’t know, alone, and he felt tears pool in his eyes. You have been alone for such a long time, and he was right: he never tried to understand what you must have been going through, how hard this life must have been for you on this planet your body didn’t belong on, with a soul so bright and wild that was continuously tamed by the fury of your own destiny, with which you battled your whole existence. Losing your mum changed you, finding your dad in the woods broke your spirit, and losing Neteyam took away the last shred of happiness you had, and they watched. He watched, unknowing and ignorant. He will never forgive himself if you died here, in his arms. 

He was continuing the CPR when his eyes snapped at something moving above his head. Jake stopped the chest compressions at the sight. Atokirina, dozens of them, floating down gently and peacefully until they reached your body, where they settled for a few seconds, before they all took flight again concomitantly. Jake thought that was a good sign, and, in a desperate attempt to add on to Eywa’s efforts, he brought up his fingers together in a fist, and with all his might, hit your unmoving chest, saying a silent prayer in his mind as he did so. 

With wide eyes and laboured breaths, Jake saw the small girl he’s known since she was born come back to life with a violent gasp. You immediately started coughing breathlessly, and Jake put your mask back over your face. He pressed a button and allowed you to take a few short, pained breaths. He felt relief wash all over him, but he knew he needed to go; you weren’t breathing properly, and he saw your face slowly turning purple. 

“It’s okay, baby girl. You’re going to be okay.”

With very little effort, Jake lifted you from the ground and carried you in his arms, running as fast as he could do without disturbing you even further. He couldn’t help wince as he was looking at your body, so weak and feeble, so different than the one he remembered. How did this happen? How did Norm and Max allow this? 

He made it to the lab shortly, and saw the whole family waiting for him there. Lo’ak, Kiri and Tuk all let out a shocked gasp at your lifeless form residing in Jake’s arms, but he couldn’t think about that now, he couldn’t worry about anything other than making sure you will survive this. 

Norm and Max let him in with their keycards and motioned hurriedly in the direction of the medical ward. He knew where to go, having been there a few times with soldiers who were sick, as well with his own kids when they got illnesses the Tsahik couldn’t cure. He hurried past all the hallways and entered and put you down as gently as he possibly could. Norm and Max burst through the door, getting all sorts of instruments and machines ready that Jake couldn’t name with a gun to his head. He silently got out of the way, and let them do what they did best. 

He got out of the room and grabbed Tuk in his arms, holding her tightly when she nuzzled her head in his neck and started silently sobbing. 

“What is going on?” Kiri, one of your best friends in the whole world, your sister, asked through shaky breaths and hushed cries. 

“Ma 'ite…” Neytiri said softly, hugging her kids close to her chest. 

“She’s sick, isn’t she? Like the people in the village?” 

“Yes, my sweet child.”

“But those people died.” Tuk said in between high pitched whimpers. 

Jake and Neytiri exchanged a knowing, sorrowful look, and tightened their grip on their children. 

Neteyam found the Tree of Souls to be deserted, as most Na’vi would be gone hunting or preparing for the upcoming war this time of day, or just taking shelter from the rain that has been pouring for days with no seeming intention of stopping. He knelt on the ground and peered up at the bright pink and purple tendrils of the sacred willow, taking in the beauty that he is yet to get over, even after coming here his whole entire life. A pained cry escaped his lips at the realisation he will never be able to show this to you. From the second he saw your Avatar body, dreams invaded his subconscious mind, dreams of when you would finally become one of the people, dreams of your soft hair bouncing on your beautiful back while you ran beneath the tree, dreams of his finally being able to make you his, the way he has wanted for so long. You were supposed to become one of the people, you were supposed to be his, his mate and the mother of his children, his Tsahik, the best Tsahik this clan had ever seen. How the fuck was he supposed to come to terms with this heartbreak, how was he ever supposed to be the same person again? You were in his life from the moment you were born. You were born just a couple of months apart, as if Eywa couldn’t wait any longer to join two souls who were meant to be. He couldn’t remember a day in his life when you weren’t there - even if not physically, you were always in his life, in his mind, your light forever permeated through every cell in his body. You were the only fact of life he was sure of, how was he supposed to live without you?

“I have another quote that reminds me of you, though.” 

Patting the spot next to you, you signalled for him to lie down. He did, although his legs were completely off the bed, the tiny contraption barely able to accommodate his torso. You let out a small laugh, but seemed happy to have him so close. 

You placed your head on his chest, and he prayed you couldn’t hear the way his heart felt like it was trying to escape his chest at your proximity and warmth. You opened the book and looked for the quote. 

“Ah, there is it.” You cleared your throat, then continued. “He is more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” 

“I like that.” He felt bashful at your admission of how you viewed him. You were always braver than him when it comes to your feelings. You never said them out right, but you always gave enough proof through moments like these, when you would sing a song, or read him a section of a book you thought resonated with you.

“Read more. Is there anything else in that book that reminds you of us?” 

You blushed, but flipped through more pages. You have him a knowing look, and read from the book you gripped on so tightly your knuckles turned white.

“My great miseries in this world have been Heathcliff's miseries, and I watched and felt each from the beginning: my great thought in living is himself. If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger: I should not seem a part of it. My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods: time will change it, I'm well aware, as winter changes the trees. My love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath: a source of little visible delight, but necessary.”

He couldn’t help think of that quote, and how deeply you both felt for each other, how this world is dull and senseless, meaningless and bleak without the other. “If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger”. He never quite understood the magnitude of this quote until today, when he stared at your dying body, until he was here, kneeling under the Tree of Souls, knowing soon you might not be part of his universe anymore, willing to beg Eywa until his knees bleed for another chance, for one more try. 

“Great Mother,” he starts as he reaches for the queue and brings it to one of the tendrils he was softly grasping in his hand, “I need your help. I’m begging you for help.” 

His queue wraps around the mauve willow branch and he inhales faintly at the bond, as he is transported across dimensions, to another plane of being, higher than any living thing had access to except in this way.

He woke up in the last place he thought he would, the lab. The damn lab, with its white, too-white walls and a smell that always burned his nostrils and a coldness that he would never get used to, no matter how many days he has spent here in his life. Without you in it, it was unnatural and unwelcoming, and he didn’t want to be here a second longer than he needed to.

“Ma 'itan.” he heard a voice call out to him from inside one of the rooms, and he made his way slowly towards it, feet hurting from the biting temperature of the smooth tiles. He passed a mirror that was hung on one of the walls, and was startled to see himself in it, only it appeared more like a window to the past, as the face looking back at him was young, no older than 10. 

He continued on, and eventually reached it. It was dark, except the light from a computer screen and one desk lamp gently illuminating the room. Sat on a chair was a woman, beautiful and elegant, with light curly hair that reached her torso and kind features, that reminded him so much of her daughter, so much so that it made his heart constrict in pain. 

“Neteyam, my boy, it’s so good to see you!”

“Auntie Jo?” 

“You’ve grown so much, ma 'itan. You’ve become a handsome young man.”

“Auntie Jo, what’s going on? Why am I here?” 

“You’ve come to ask for help from the Great Mother. The Great Mother doesn’t take sides, son, you know that. She protects only the balance of life.”

“Yes, and her life hangs in the balance. I need Eywa to help, I need Eywa to save her, because her life has never been balanced. There’s never been anything fair about her life, and this second chance is the balance. It’s what she deserves, a lifetime of happiness to make up for all the hurt the Universe has put her through.”

“I see you are still my daughter’s angel, even after all this time. You always took care of her, from when you were both babies. We used to put you in the same crib and you would go to sleep holding hands. You both used to cry whenever it was time for us to return to the lab. Eventually, we had to give you a piece of clothing of the other, so you could sleep peacefully through the night. I always knew you were supposed to end up together. It’s part of the reason I worked so hard to decode the Avatar for her.” 

“She’s dying. She’s dying and there’s nothing I can do! I need you to help me save her, I need to do something, I need something to stop the way it feels like I’m being ripped apart at every seam in my body. I have never known such pain, I never knew it was possible for a body to hurt so badly from a wound that doesn’t even exist.” 

The woman rose from the chair and took Neteyam in her arms, allowing him to place his head on her shoulders and cry. Neteyam tightened his arms around her and held her, crying, releasing all the grief he was feeling for his love, for his future, for her.

“If you feel it, son, then it exists. If you feel her, then she exists, and she will exist forever. In truth, there is nothing any of us can do, except love her and be there for her. My daughter has grown so much, and so much grief grew along with her. And she learnt how to let grief grow until it is so big it cannot be contained within her body from me. But there’s still time for her to grow, too. Grow bigger than the grief. She needs you, Neteyam. She needs you to be her light one last time. She needs you right now. You should go before it’s too late.”

Neteyam woke up like from a dream and removed his queue from the tree so quickly it hurt him and he felt the pain travel all the way to the tip of his toes. It didn’t matter, he thought. He could be scalped right now and he would still be calling his ikran with enough might to wake up the entire forest. As soon as she arrived at the foot of the tree, he got on her and motioned for her to take off, no other thoughts than the words your mother uttered echoing in his ears. I need to get to the lab, fuck, I hope I’m not too late. I can’t be too late. It can’t be too late.

He completely spaced out until he reached the lab, so it was like he blinked and he was there. He saw your ikran next to the entrance of the lab and felt his pulse quicken so fast he almost fell off his own with how faint it made him. He knocked on the door forcefully and incessantly until Lo’ak came and opened it. His baby brother’s eyes were red and damp and he looked sick and tired; Neteyam couldn’t remember the last time he has ever seen Lo’ak in this state - he didn’t think he ever had. The lump that formed in Neteyam’s throat stopped him from speaking, and he looked at his brother with desperation laced on every feature, silently pleading to be put out of his misery.

“She collapsed outside the lab. She was in a clearing a few minutes from here. Her ikran came to the village and took dad to where she was, and he brought her here.”

Lo’ak started crying again, bringing a hand to his face to hide himself, and Neteyam took him in his arms and hugged him. 

“She was dead, bro. Dad said she was dead. Her heart stopped and he managed to start it back up again, but she has been in the room with Norm and Max for a while, she won’t wake up. She’s been sick for a month and we didn’t know. I didn’t know!”

Neteyam let Lo’ak cry it out, feeling his own hurt being pushed aside at the sight of his baby brother needing a shoulder to cry on. He couldn’t be weak when his family needed him. 

Eventually they made their way down the corridor until they reached the rest of their family, and he saw it, saw you, and it immediately made his sick. He’s struggled to keep down whatever food he still had in his system at the terrorising sight - you, lying on a white framed bed, unconscious, with tubes coming in and out of you, so many tubes he was losing count. He saw the tubes coming out of machines that were beeping, and one of them was removing blood from your body and then pushing it back in, and Neteyam felt weak in the knees taking it all in. 

FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF STAGE IV: BARGAINING

You woke up in a daze, feeling heavy and numb, like that one time you were 16 and you took one too many sleeping pills and you needed 3 days to ride out the consequences. You frowned deeply at the bright artificial lights that were bearing down on you, and you realised you were in the medical ward of the hub. You faintly heard the ECG machine beeping, and you knew at least you weren’t dead yet. You don’t know how much time it’s been, the last thing you remember is Neteyam turning his back on you in the clearing.

“You’re a coward…”

You felt your heart hurt, although the pain was not physical, it wasn’t an arrhythmia or fibrillation or asystole, it was worse. It was a kind of pain you can’t fix with some pills or a defibrillator or some epinephrine to restart the heart. It didn’t work that way. This pain you would have to ride out, have to hope it will pass in time. 

He was right. You were a coward, have been your whole life. There was no point denying it any longer, no point hiding behind a facade of eye rolls and straight faces. You killed yourself slowly and painfully, for years - taking pills, taking too many pills, ignoring the pleas from your mind that told you it was slowly losing focus, that couldn’t handle pain as well anymore, that couldn’t sleep unless it was practically mush by the time your head hit the pillow. You told yourself it was unfortunate that you got the virus, that you hated it and that you were working for cure, but in reality you were kind of relieved when it happened. Because now you had an excuse, and you didn’t have to do any of the heavy lifting yourself. 

You were a coward, refusing to get help or let yourself be loved, let yourself be mourned, because you didn’t want to deal with it. You refused to tell Neteyam, the man who has loved you and been your rock your whole life, who, despite everything that went on between you, would always be yours, and who you knew would suffer immensely because of your passing, because you didn’t want to suffer with him. You didn’t tell Norm and Max, because you knew they would make you get help, and try to get you to heal and stay alive longer, and you didn’t want that. You didn’t tell Jake or Neytiri, or the kids, because no parent or sibling should have to watch their kid, their sister die, and you thought by pushing them away and blaming them for Neteyam’s indiscretion, you would be able to soften the blow. But most of all, you didn’t tell them because you didn’t want to know that people do love you, would suffer because of you, that your death impacted lives around you. You didn’t need the guilt. 

Nobody was paying attention to you, you realised. You briefly saw Norm and Max hurrying around you out of the corner of your eye, and saw a dialysis machine retrieving your blood through a tube coming from your neck. You were going into multiple organ failure, you deduced. Your heart and lungs were shot, your kidneys were shot, you didn’t have much time left.

You wanted to speak, you wanted to scream for Neteyam, for all of them, and apologise. You knew what it meant to lose people, better than most. You were sorry for knowing you will put these people you loved so much through so much pain. You were sorry things turned out like this, that you weren’t stronger, that your heart was so broken it found comfort in the pain and was too scared to heal. The tube coming out of your mouth didn’t allow for that. You felt tears falling from your eyes and then slowly the heaviness taking over, pushing your eyelids shut, and the last thing you heard was the unmistakable sound of a flatline, and screams all around you. 

You woke up dazed, needing a few second to take in your surroundings. You had no idea where you were, it isn’t a place you have ever seen before. You looked, trying to accommodate to the light shining brightly from an orb in the sky, and when you couldn’t see Polyphemus and its moons in the sky, you knew you were no longer on Pandora. It took a while, but you eventually realised you were on Earth. You turned around, taking in all of your surroundings, and felt amazed at the unfamiliar new sights. In front of you stood a house. On the smaller side (you thought, based on all the Hollywood movies you’ve seen), with a blue paintcoat and surrounded by a short brown fence, it had flowers you were fascinated by and shrubbery surrounding it, giving it an unkept look - you loved it. It was not like the houses you have seen in the movies, perfect and artificial, with human precision to ruin what Mother Earth put there for a reason. Behind you were paved roads, but nobody was around. There were no other houses, the one in front of you solitary and quiet, except for a rhythmic sound you could hear from somewhere behind it, although you could not place it, as the house was on a little hill. 

You made your way towards the entrance quietly, and were pleasantly surprised when the little fence opened at your slightest push, so you continued through the cobblestone path, until you were standing face to face with a white door. You felt yourself curiously knocking on it, hoping someone could let you in and explain to you what was going on, why were you here, what was this place? Was this the afterlife? Were you in heaven? 

After waiting a few minutes at the door with no answer, you touched the handle and pressed gently, surprised again when it opened to you. You felt a strange smell envelop you, it was a completely new olfactory experience than you have ever had, and you realised you loved it -  it was a rich and warm smell, and you had to swallow as it seemed to trigger hunger in your system. The room you were in was a little claustrophobic, but you couldn’t help thinking if was homely and snug and felt a strange familiarity as you walked through the dimly lit narrow hallway. Right by the entrance to the right was a brighter, doorless room that probably served as a library once - the walls were covered in thick mahogany shelves filled to the brim with colourful books, and a beautiful dark brown desk was placed in the middle of it, with a fuzzy looking carpet adorning the wooden floors. Further in the hallway, frames with photos of people you couldn’t really place were decorating the blue walls and you smiled taking them all in. A photo of 3 people at the beach, a family, you noted, a photo in a beautiful location somewhere in the mountains, a photo of a dad carrying a small girl on his back, both of them laughing widely - all so beautiful, so intimate. On one of the images was scribbled something that caught your attention. It was an image of a girl, young and beautiful, with light and wavy hair and holding what you knew from movies to be a graduation gown, throwing her cap in the air. The handwritten note on it said “Our little Marj graduating summa cum laude at only 18! - Johns Hopkins, June 2123.” 

Shocked, you removed the frame from the wall and looked at it closer. Your mum. This was your mum’s house, the house she grew up in as a child. What were you doing here? What was happening to you? You held on to the picture as you moved through the house that eventually opened into a big and brightly lit room, that served as both the kitchen and the living room. In the corner of the room lay a beautiful grand piano and a few guitars, all on stands. Through the big windows and the door that opened to the backyard, you saw a large body of water, and you realised the noises you were hearing earlier were waves, crashing on the sandy beach. You have never seen anything like it and couldn’t help stare for a while, just taking in the beauty of this world you never thought you would be able to experience for yourself. You found yourself picking up one of the guitars on the stand that you knew was your mum’s, since it was the same one you have…. had on Pandora, and opened the door to the outside, slowly walking towards the open sea. 

You frowned as you made your way through the fine warm sand at all these new experiences and sensations you have never had before, and the frown deepened at a blanket on the ground, almost inviting you to sit down, almost as if it was laid out for you. Feeling safe and blissful in this new world you now inhabited, you allowed yourself to do as you were silently bid. 

You loved the malleable feeling of the sand as you stretched your legs and noticed it moved to accommodate your body. The blanket was soft, and you felt inspired to pick up the guitar and tune it, strumming it gently. You couldn’t believe what was happening to you, the fact that you were here, on Earth, in your mum’s childhood home. You didn’t know what to think, but you thought that if this is death, maybe it wasn’t so bad after all. 

“My love.” 

That voice. Your breathing and hands both stopped to bring you to a dead still. Your eyes immediately filled with tears that spilled like effortless waterfalls, a visceral reaction to a voice you never thought you’d ever hear again. Your head snapped in the direction of the voice so quickly it gave you whiplash, but you didn’t care. Nothing else mattered in this life but this voice. 

“Mum??” You got up to your feet as rapidly as your human body could handle and ran in the arms of the woman you loved more than anything in this world, more than life itself. You were sobbing as you removed yourself form her arms, touching her face with your hands, touching her arms, making sure she was real, that she was here. 

“Oh my God, baby, it’s ok, I’m right here.” 

She was trying to calm you down enough so you could utter a word, but you couldn’t, you couldn’t stop wailing, couldn’t stop your body expelling so many tears you completely soaked the top of her t-shirt. 

Slowly, she moved you to where you were sat just a few minutes ago, and you were a blubbering mess, unable to utter a single syllable to this woman you have spoken enough to fill out novels in your dreams, in your thoughts, in your soul. 

“You’re alright, my love. Everything’s alright.” She was removing tears as they fell from your eyes with her palm, gently cupping your face and smiling at you, with enough warmth you knew it could power up this whole world if she let it. 

Eventually, you found your voice. “Mum, what is this? How are you here? Am I dead?”

She laughed at your barrage of questioning, remembering fondly how you have always been such a curious cat, always had so many questions for her, relentless in your quest for knowledge. 

“You’re with Eywa, my love. We’re with Eywa. And no, you are not dead yet.”

“Yet?”

“Yes, baby. It seems Eywa is not quite done with you yet.”

“What does the Great Mother want from me?”

“I think she wants you to make a choice, baby.”

“I’ve already made my choice.” 

“I don’t think you have, my love.” 

You thought about her words for a while. You thought you made your choice. I mean, you were here, weren’t you? Dead. Or in purgatory, one of the two, but still, not alive. You thought about your life. About your beautiful mother sitting in front of you, and the moment she gave her last breath to the world. Her funeral, rain pouring over you like the endless sorrow that hasn’t left you since. You thought about how hard it was to sleep at night, how the nightmares never stopped, how the sadness became a confidant you knew you could never shake - you knew you didn’t want to shake. You thought about your dad - the guilt you felt because of him, his actions, his murders, how they haunted you in dark corridors, how the Na’vi people cursed you in your dreams and told you you were a demon, just like he was. You thought about his body in the woods, his exo-suit that he left a few steps behind, and how you couldn’t walk barefoot after that. You thought about the pills, your only friends, the only cure for your debilitating insomnia. You thought about your sleep paralysis demons, crawling on top of you and sitting on your chest until you couldn’t breathe anymore, watching you scream and laughing at you mockingly, how they always looked like you, how they were just a dark, cursed version of yourself, the you you knew you looked like in your soul. You thought about Neteyam leaving - the last straw, the one that left you irreparably broken, the one that skinned you alive and left you for dead. 

You thought you made your choice. 

“I miss you, ma. So much.” The crying never stopped, but you held her hand and tried to revel in the feeling, in knowing she was here and you were with her. Even if you weren’t sure about your choice before, you were when you looked into her bright and caring eyes. “I just found you, I can’t lose you again.”

“I miss you, too, bunny. I have kept an eye on you for almost 9 years, everyday regretting not fighting harder to be in your life.”

You frowned at her words. “You fought hard, ma. Your death was a tragedy, but it was unavoidable.”

“Maybe.”

“What do you mean maybe?”

“I mean I fell in the same bad patterns as you did, bunny. I could have asked Mo’at for the transfer, but I didn’t. Just like you didn’t. It hurts me so much to see you make the same mistakes as I did. I love you so much, and I wish I could have healed enough in life to not bestow on you this grief. I wish I could have been braver and stronger, I wish I could have asked for help when I felt like the world was caving in on itself on top of me. Maybe if I did, then you wouldn’t be here.

When your dad died, most of me died along with him. Having to have and raise you by myself was the toughest thing I have ever had to brave. And I’d like to think I did a good job, and it was easy enough, because you were the best baby anyone’s ever had, but inside I was screaming. Every night was hell and I struggled with surviving for the rest of my life. When the cancer came, I was terrified to leave you, I was terrified of knowing you would have to be in this world alone, but selfishly, I was relieved. Because the hurt would finally stop. Mo’at, Jake, Neytiri, Norm, Max, everyone tried to get me to accept the consciousness transfer, but I didn’t. Because it was my consciousness that was killing me slowly. A new body wasn’t going to change that.”

You were reeling at the confession, finding it hard to keep breathing, hard to keep going, even in death. Was there no peace? Were you never going to be at peace? You felt so sad at her words, so angry at her admitting she didn’t let you in, that she abandoned you without fighting as hard as she possibly could to heal, to stay alive for you. She lied about being happy, about you being everything she ever needed, she died without even trying the consciousness transfer. How could she ever d-

You gasped in shock at the realisation. 

“What, was I supposed to find you dead one day and that was it? That was what I deserved from you, after all the blood, sweat and tears I gave you? You said I took your choice away. You wouldn’t have even given me a choice to say goodbye to the love of my life before you fucking died!”

“You had a choice. You could have come to the many people who love you, love you unconditionally, and told us, and let us in, and let us help you. You could have gotten help, taken the pills, fight your damn hardest to make this work, to find a cure, for the life your mum gave you, the life she would have to watch you throw away. You have a choice now. To want to live, to want to fight through this and come out the other side a new, better person. To let me love you, let people love you. To do the consciousness transfer and be with me, and be happy, forever. And you’re choosing this.“

“Baby, are you still with me?”

All of a sudden, all new thoughts entered your mind from the ones before. You thought you made your choice. But then you thought about Pandora, the beautiful world you loved so much, that despite not being born for, you climbed its trees and ran its grounds like you had. You thought about how happy laying on the grass made you, just feeling how each blade tickled your skin and brought a laughter that was so pure, so unassuming - so real. You thought about your guitar, and the guitar Neteyam gave you, and the peace you felt when you played them, when you sang your feelings, like a litany to cleanse your soul.

You thought about Kiri - your beautiful sister who you scoured the woods with, finding rocks and flowers and watching her crafting necklaces while the light shone brightly on your faces. You thought about Lo’ak. Your movie marathons, the endless laughter and the warmth he brought to your soul, that felt forever childlike when around him. You thought about Spider, the monkey boy who was the only one who could truly understand what you were going through as a human child growing on a different planet.

You thought about Norm and Max, how they raised you without ever asking for anything in return, how they kept you in their lab and bestowed upon you all of their knowledge and skill and the look they gave you whenever you put anything they taught you to good use. You thought about Jake and Neytiri, your surrogate parents that you always pushed away, and they always came back, loving you unconditionally despite all your emotional shortcomings. You thought about Tuk, how she looked at you like you were the most amazing sister she had, how you used to be the only one who could put her to sleep when she was a fussy infant, how she loved your voice and clung to your every word.

You thought about your mum, who despite being gone for almost a decade, you still felt in you every day, whenever you touched a book you know she loved, whenever you were in the lab, whenever you looked in the mirror and the eyes that greeted you might as well be hers. Finally, you thought about Neteyam. The person you loved more than life itself, more than the sun and the moon, more than every star in the sky. The person who has been here all your life, who stood by you no matter what, who only left so you didn’t have to suffer further. You thought about his smile, his eyes which were like the lighthouse that would always guide you home, his touch that brought life back into you, his love for you, that shone bright and eternal. 

You realised then you weren’t ready to say goodbye to all of those things, you wanted more, needed more. You wanted to know what it was like to live, fully live, you wanted to know what it felt like to have a proper family, you wanted to give yourself fully to the man you loved, you wanted to know if your kids would have your mum’s eyes and their dad’s kindness and patience. You wanted to experience Pandora’s sky with Neyn, and you wanted to find a cure for the virus that killed you. You wanted to help the Na’vi fight the Sky People, and you wanted to show them there are good humans out there, and you come from one, and are one. You needed more time. 

You were crying so hard you felt your hand going and grasping at your heart, trying to somehow claw through your chest and grasp it in your palms and hold it, trying to stop it from hurting. “I need to go back. I have to go back, I need more time.”  

As soon as you said that, you heard a sound coming from the sky, almost like far away thunder. You didn’t know what it was, but you didn’t have time to think about it. 

“Ma, I have to go back. I have to make it right. I’m not ready, mum. I’m not ready to go yet.” 

“I know, baby. It seems you finally made your choice.” 

You saw far into the distance, and saw the edges of the world dissipate slowly, leaving behind a white glow in their wake. You knew what was coming, you knew the one thing you still had to do before it happened.

“Mum, I forgive you. I’m so sorry life took so much from you and I am sorry I couldn’t help more. I’m sorry you had to hurt alone. I love you so much, I will always love you. You will always be a part of me. I forgive you.” 

You saw your beautiful mum take a deep breath in, and her body started glowing with the same glow that was gently overtaking the world. 

“I have roamed this world for almost 10 years, unable to move on. I am finally free, my love. I can rest now. Thank you.” 

Before she would inevitably leave you again, you needed to know one more thing.

“Mum, was my dad evil?”

“Oh, baby. Your dad was a beautiful soul, and although he had many flaws, he was not evil. When you are ready to open your bottom desk drawer, make sure you look around you as well. All will be revealed in time, my love. And listen to Kiri more when she talks to you about plants, you might be surprised what could come of it.” She smiled kindly and gave you a mischievous wink, and with that, she vanished. 

“MUM!” You screamed, anguished at losing her again. 

You heard her voice echo in the sky. 

“Do not go gentle into that good night, 

Old age should burn and rave at close of day

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”

You smiled through tears at the poem she used to read you at least once a week when you were a baby. Once it was done, her voice was replaced with another, and you realised what the previous sounds in the sky were. The only voice in the world that mattered.

“Atan! Please come back, please come back. You can’t leave me, please!”

I’m coming, my light. 

“Push another round of Epi.” 

Neteyam watched as the two humans were working tirelessly to try to bring you back to life. He thought he knew what pain was, what grief and sorrow were, but realised he didn’t - not until the last 30 minutes, as he saw you die in front of him, not until he saw your body being electrocuted and needles going in your heart, not until not any of this torture worked, not until you were still dead, not until his worst fear in life materialised like a bad magic trick. 

“We’ve been doing this for too long, Norm. Even if she comes back now, her brain was without oxygen for 30 minutes and I-“

“Just fucking do it, Max!” 

Neteyam saw Norm get the machine with the two pads that shocked your body ready again, and he felt himself hope, just a little hope, for the last time. He heard himself talk over the noise, over the constant flat tone of the machine that was connected to your heart.

“Atan! Please come back, please come back. You can’t leave me, please!”

Norm put the pads on your body as soon as Max injected you with what they called Epi. 

“CLEAR!” He screamed and pressed the handles of the pads, and your body convulsed violently at the shock they administered. 

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.  

The room went completely quiet. He saw Norm and Max look at you with mouths agape and then look at each other. Then they started crying. 

“We have sinus rhythm.”

Neteyam felt his heartbeat thump in his chest, felt dizzy and confused. The beeping was different than the tone he heard before. Why were they crying? He turned around to face his family and noticed them hugging, and laughing wildly, screaming and crying at the sight, and he let himself believe, for a second, that this was not bad news.

“What is sinus rhythm?” He said, voice hoarse from the amount of crying he had lived through. 

“She’s alive.” Norm says through panted breaths and muted tears. 

She’s alive. She’s alive. She’s alive. She’s alive. 

It felt like Neteyam took his first breath, like he was born again. They say every Na’vi is born twice, and although the second one was technically when he became a man, he would argue the second time was right now. Those words brought him back to life, in an instant and he felt like he could finally breathe. He could finally live.

“Neteyam”, Max puts a hand on his shoulder, “She’s been dead for 30 minutes. She is alive, but we don’t know what state she will be in when and if she wakes.”

No, you will be fine. He had no doubt in his mind anymore. Eywa has spoken. Eywa brought you back for a reason. 

Hours passed, and you didn’t wake. The two scientists gave you pills and liquids that were going in you through various tubes in your body. Neteyam was tortured at the sight, but was consoled with knowing these were keeping you alive. Eventually, they left you to rest, not being able to do anything more until you would wake up… if you woke up. His parents and siblings, and Spider also left, not too far, as they decided to sleep in the hub. Neteyam stood by your side the whole time. He held your hand which felt so small in his much bigger one, and found himself tracing every hair, blemish and vein on your arm. His gaze then shifted onto your face, which looked peaceful, a deep contrast to the one he saw just half a day ago, although it felt like a different life ago. Your beautiful lips were slightly parted as you were breathing with the help with a transparent mask that covered half your face. Your cheeks had a rosy tint to it, and were marked by shadows given by your eyelashes that were resting on them. Your forehead was finally free of the scowl or frown that seemed to plague it most days, giving you a serene look about you. Angel.

Neteyam’s gaze fell around the room, taking in all the equipment that was required to keep you alive. He learned that the beeping machine was called an electrocardiogram, and through the little sensors on your chest, it could feel your heartbeat. He learned that the machine that was pumping your blood was called a dialysis machine, and it was helping you clear your blood of waste since your body couldn’t do that by itself anymore. He learned the mask was helping you breathe, since you body couldn’t that by itself either. He was eternally grateful to these machines, and the men wielding them, for the part they were playing in you not being taken away from him. He has never liked humans, but more and more, he could understand their beauty, and that, in their own way, they were just doing their best - isn’t that the only thing one can hope for? 

Neteyam was pulled out of his musings by the tiniest movement of your hand that was rested in his. He immediately snapped his eyes to your hand, and gasped loudly when you moved again - just a small twitch, nothing more, but it was enough to electrify his entire body, deep shockwaves running through him from where you touched him to each extremity. His gaze shifted on to your face, and his breath stopped when his eyes met yours. You looked tired, so tired, but alive. Your eyes crinkled at the sides as you gave him a smile, and his world shifted on its axis, never to be the same again. Your hand slowly and shakily made its way to the mask rested on your face, and you pulled on it until it came off, looking like the movement hurt, like it took all the effort you had. He could see your smile properly now, the most beautiful sight he has ever laid his eyes on - this world, the sky, this entire universe could not hold a candle to this smile. 

“Hi.” You said through shallow panted breaths. 

Neteyam cried, his tears flowing freely, the weight of this day bearing down on him heavily, even as he was watching you, feeling you, seeing you alive. He smiled as he brought his big hand to your face, and cupped it as gently as he knew how. You put your hand over his slowly and deliberately, and continued smiling even with the tears that were making their way down your cheeks and into your smile. 

“Hi.” That’s all he could say, and he knew it was enough. 

It was insane - the thought of having to leave your side for even the split of a second, but he knew his family would never forgive him if he didn’t tell them you were awake. So he went, running through the corridors of the labs and hub, trying to find his way, screaming for them at the top of his lungs, hoping he wouldn’t have to waste time searching. Eventually, they came out panicked, praying they won’t have to hear the worst. They were exalted when that wasn’t the case, and Neteyam saw his three younger siblings, as well as his honorary brother, run as fast as the lab allowed towards the room you were in. He followed suit, sending a glowing, relieved, happy smile towards their parents, which they returned with the same enthusiasm. Norm and Max were already in the room when they arrived, alerted by all the commotion. They were checking in on you, adjusted medicines and slowly removing the mask from around your face. 

You were in a lot of pain, that you could feel even with the morphine you knew was supposed to keep your body nice and numb, although you suspected you were the reason it wasn’t working as well as it should. You felt every breath, every heartbeat, like it was a shot to the chest, but you didn’t complain, and stood there as your two favourite humans were working hard trying to make sure you were going to be alive for longer than a few minutes this time. You felt an immense sense of gratitude at their help and their incessant need to keep you safe and healthy, despite how horribly you treated both of them. You hoped you can earn their forgiveness in time. In time… you smiled softly at the thought. You had time. 

FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF STAGE V: ACCEPTANCE

You were startled at all the sounds and voices coming from the corridors, and you jumped out of your skin when you saw four figures rushing towards you smiling and crying, laughing at you and approaching your body and the bed without concern for all the equipment or the tubes, or Norm and Max. You tried laughing at the endearing sight, but could only manage a forced exhale.

“You’re alive!” Tuk’s soft sobs brought you to tears again, all the events of the last few days quickly taking a toll on your already jagged body.

You nodded softly at her, giving her the biggest smile you could muster. You looked up at Lo’ak and Kiri and felt them taking each of your hand in theirs and tugging at them, holding you with whatever they could without inconveniencing you too much. Lo’ak was tugging at the IV going in your vein, making it hurt, but you couldn’t care less. You were so happy to see him, see them, so happy they found it in their infinite hearts to forgive you. You didn’t know how you still had enough fluid in you to produce even more tears, but there they were, falling again. 

Neteyam walked into the room with his parents, who both brought their hands to their face at the sight of you, and looked at you with so much love your heart tugged painfully. You couldn’t speak, there were no words to convey the love and appreciation you had for them, for this family you gained, the family you would never leave again. Instead, you weakly, with all the power you had, brought your curled finger to your forehead and motioned towards them. I see you, I’m sorry. I see you. 

Neytiri let out a cry and approach your legs, which she grabbed with her hands and held them softly, giving you a small squeeze. 

Neteyam made his way to your side again, and pushed Lo’ak out of the way so he could be close to you, and took your hand in his again, holding to you tightly. You have never seen him like this, so possessive, so desperate to hold you, and you thought you would probably be the same if you watched him die in front of you. You brought his hand to your lips slowly and kissed it. Thank you.

You would have a lifetime to catch up and tell them everything you have wanted to say out loud your whole life but were too afraid to, but in order to do that, you had one thing to do first. You turned your attention to Kiri, who was still holding on to the arm Neteyam wasn’t. 

Finally, you found your voice. It was raw and guttural, and cracked every other word, but it was there. You would learn to use it again in time. 

“What do you say you and me kill this virus, forever?” 

Passed down like folk songs, Our love lasts so long

Tag list (thank you thank you thank you x): @nuhteyam @eywas-heir @fanboyluvr @mashiromochi @puffb4ll @sassy-persona @simp4ff @mommyneytiri @inomoikawa @jackiehollanderr @jaysarchiv3 @meivap @dakotali @hlhl99 @eskamybeloved @erenjaegerwifee @winchestertitties @mommyneytiri @ultimatebluff @elizarikaallen @yeosxxx @ssc7514 @lolcaca @jackiehollanderr @bunnyrose01 @therealbloom @neteyams-queue @ @r1dd1kulus

#neteyam #neteyam x human!reader #neteyam x reader #neteyam fanfic #neteyam reader #neteyam sully #avatar #avatar twow #avatar fanfic #neteyam x avatar!reader #neteyam sully fanfiction #neteyam angst #awow #awow neteyam #loak reader #avatar loak #jake sully #dilf jake sully #sully!reader #sully family x reader #sully family x sully!reader

[winterwhisperz-blog]

Hello!! I don't know if your TS head-canons still open (sorry if not) but can you make TS head-canons about MC almost dying? Like almost killed by souless, the curse is getting worse, almost died because someone stab them? Is your choice btw~ if you can't do it it's fine~ and sorry for my bad grammar, English is not my first language 🙂

(been craving come ANGST this day-)

Hi hi !!! They’re still open yes! I’ll have em open for awhile since I love doing these 😭 tysm for the ask !!

(I’m sorry for taking so long btw, writer’s block has been beating my butt)

I was only able to do three of the Li for now, since I was writing so much my tumblr was beginning to glitch so UHMMMM I’ll have to do a part two !! :,)

ALR LES GET INTO IT

The Lis Reacting To Mc Almost dying (P1)

Warnings: Angst,mentions of death, blood, violence, please proceed carefully if any of these may trigger you !!

Notes: GN MC, creative liberty, not proofread

Ais

Oh dear, NOW THIS WOULD BE SAD

Let’s say you were out at night, just heading back after spending time with Ais. Your head still humming with thoughts of his smile, his voice, and how he always makes you feel.

You get lost in the thoughts for a bit, forgetting your surroundings as you pet Princess goodbye.

The streets are foggy and cold, masking anything in the dark as harmless silhouettes.

You don’t notice until it’s too late—

Hot breath on the back of your neck, the growl of some unearthly shadow

A soulless, large and already dripping with blood—you leap forward just as its jaws slam shut

You’ve been in this situation before, you know what to do— you run

But it’s dark, and the moon, as if she’s just as afraid, flees fully into the horizon. Freezing you in pitch black.

You don’t see the rock in front of you, and fall face first into the bloody swamp of the wasteland.

You reach out, trying to both get up, to escape— to fight.

But it’s pointless, you’re trapped. There is no way out.

There’s pain, a scream, and you drown in the dry, suffocating dark.

The last thing you hear is a blood-curdling roar before ice encases your body, forcing you still.

….

Hesitant red light splashes across the lids of your closed eyes, a dullness like a soaked blanket over your form.

A low hum reaches for your ears, sounding faintly familiar. Comforting in a way that urges your chest to loosen, for your mouth to release sharp breath after breath.

But while the hum sharpens into a voice, so does the dullness into pain

The ice that had been embracing your body bursts into scathing fire, burning through your skin and sending a scream from your lips.

Something soft envelopes your legs and sides, a warmth that slowly soothes the pain. Something smooth comes to rest over your brow, a palm—a thumb gently caressing your skin.

“You’re going to be alright, Sparrow, breathe.”

You know that voice, and something about it makes you rest. Allowing the pain to slowly be smothered.

Opening your eyes, your vision clears to see a pair of red eyes and horns. Ais.

He’s the one caressing your forehead, the other wiping blood and sweat from your neck. There’s another figure working beside him, tall with sparkling eyes. Kuras.

You can see he’s bandaging you up, a bucket of blood-touched water sitting on the faraway counter. You’re laying down on a table—the same table from your first time in Eridia.

When the pain has finally vanished completely, and you’re fully awake, Kuras checks up once more on you before leaving you with Ais.

“What happened?” You mutter, trying to sit up and having Ais’ arms hold your back as you stumble.

“You were attacked by a soulless. Princess tugged you back—and I brought you to Kuras.”

The way he’s speaking is a little odd. It’s stiff, like he’s holding something back. His eyes darker, skin pale with lingering fear. “Ais?”

At your words, he brings you into an embrace. Taking a deep breath as you fall against his chest. You wince a little, and he loosens his grip. Though refusing to let go.

He doesn’t say anything for a long time, and neither do you.

Next time you spend the day with Ais, you’re also spending the night. He’s never letting this happen again.

I like writing angst >:]

I wanted to make it a bit longer but I don’t want to make these too too long

Leander

Hehehehe okay okay >:) so so so

You’re out in the middle of the day, the streets bustling and loud

The Sun, surprisingly, is out and showering the city with light and heat

Your bandages mixed with sweat ??? Not good not good

You weren’t prepared for it being hot today, especially with how cold and dreary Eridia usually is. And seems like, no one else was either. But the vendors are not letting it go to waste

They reach out for passersby’s, shouting and presenting the catches of today, along with an array of different trinkets and materials

You can’t help be a little curious, but once you stop in the road, people crowd by, bumping into you and sending whirls of panic each time.

You don’t notice that one particular shove scrunches up the bandages on your left arm.

Annoyed at the contact, you huff, preparing to just forget it and come back tomorrow—

“Ah, you there!” One of the vendors have spotted you, and without a care, they reach for your hand. Your left hand.

“Care for a… a…” they trail off, eyes losing their energetic glow. You know that look—and you look down to see their hand clasped around your bandages, palm brushing a cut in the protection, skin on your curse.

Your whole body goes numb in panic, and you quickly wretch your hand away, hiding both under your cloak. But it’s too late, it always is.

The vendor ducks their head, bangs obscuring their eyes as they clench the sides of their booth— veins pulsing under the skin. Then they start to laugh.

Your world comes crashing down.

Strangers don’t notice anything amiss, even as the laughing becomes maniacal. Or if they do notice, they only walk along faster.

The Vender lunches for your neck, taking you to the ground in a puff of dust. You slam hard against the road, hands clawing your throat.

If you how to fight, you manage to get them off, if you don’t, you shout for help, slamming your hands against the vendor in an attempt to shove them off.

The heat of the day blares against your eyes as you struggle.

(If you got him off thanks to your ability to fight, you knock into a few others, accidentally brushing against enough that you UHHH get outnumbered by people inflicted by your curse)

Things start to blur, limbs begin to weaken, and no one dares to help.

Of course, until someone does.

“Hey, get off of them!”

Bursts of air flood back into your lungs, hands coming to lift you up and drag you away.

“Die, die, die die die die!”

(This is really creepy if you fought him off at first and got outnumbered- just a bunch of crazy people chanting at you like this what the heck 😭)

You want to cover your ears, to block out the noise, the familiar, gut-wrenching voices that have followed you everywhere and refuses to leave.

Tears stream down before you can stop them as you run, barely noticing it was Leander who saved you.

You don’t take in the comforting coolness of the Wet Wick as Leander leads you inside, closing the door behind you. You barely hear his voice as he guides you back into your room. You only distantly feel the brush of his hands wiping away your tears.

“Mc… Mc? Can you hear me?”

You don’t answer for a long time, and only do along with a weakened sob.

“I’m a monster.”

There’s a silence before Leander gently starts to unwrap your bandages— you pull back instinctively.

“No, no- I can’t. I can’t.”

He pauses momentarily, fingers lifting your chin so you can look at him. “Mc, you aren’t going to hurt me. I told you I would be there for you, and I am.”

Something about how he says it makes you nearly believe it. You stay still, allowing him to continue unwrapping your bandages. He lifts your palm to his cheek, leaning into you.

His free hand coming to softly caress the golden lines on your skin.

“You aren’t a monster, to me.”

Afterward, the crazed person(s) were silently taken care of. Those who witnessed too closely, bribed to turn the other way.

Kuras

OKAY OKAY SO

I think it’d fun going off of that Kuras tour thingy where we spot him coming back from the wastes

We know he goes there, and now you’re determined to find out exactly why

So one day, without his knowledge, you venture out there, following him.

He’s fast, even more so than usual since he thinks there’s no one he needs to keep pace with

The day is quickly fleeing, your energy slumping entirely on the boost of curiosity

Your feet are becoming heavy, eyes collecting the dust of the waste so you occasionally wipe at them. But the second time you do so, you look ahead— seeing nothing but emptiness in front of you. Only the thin line of the fading light falling on the horizon.

Kuras has disappeared.

You’re alone—too far from Eridia to make it home before night

The cold can sense fear, gripping onto your throat and making your heart shiver under the skin. Shadows are watching you, whether they be soulless or…something else

You don’t want to call out, not exactly ready to face Kuras’ disappointed stare.

And still…you came out here to find out where he was going. Why stop now?

Swallowing your nerves, you plow forward.

Kuras couldn’t have gotten too far—you would spot him again soon. And once you figure out what he’s doing, you’ll never venture out here again. You’ll go home and put your curiosity to bed.

But the more you stride, the more the stars look like eyes, the cold becoming bites of teeth on your face, the wind a voice warning you to go back.

You start running without meaning to, the wind becoming a howl on your back.

Before you can stop yourself— you shout.

“Kuras!”

Something morphs in front of you, something dark and wicked

A soulless, you think. A foul, horrible soulless that doesn’t scream like the others. It stares at you, watching. Knowing you can’t go back now.

You reach hurriedly for a weapon, you know well enough to bring one always, but something stops you from using it. There’s something about this soulless—it has a mind of its own.

You heard of these types before, the ones that weren’t just mindless monsters. But you weren’t prepared to come across one—alone.

Shivering with panic, you watch as it prowls closer—and opens its mouth to swallow you whole.

The cold wraps itself around you, and just then you snap out of your daze to use your weapon. You didn’t expect the beast to be stronger.

It takes you down, forcing you to stare up at the hollow, but knowing eyes.

It opens it’s mouth, and laughs.

It lowers to rip into your throat— but it never reaches you.

A flash of golden light shakes the night, a blaze of warmth that burns your eyes and forces you to turn away.

Waves of heat pulses like an army of heartbeats, the wind turns into the mighty flapping of wings. Fear, joy, terror, elation— it all floods into your veins as you’re bathed with holy light.

There’s a screech, then a bang

You turn your face to gaze into the glow, seeing only a silhouette of something large and ancient before it all fades into a man you know well.

“Kuras?” You weakly mutter as he kneels beside you, cradling your thrumming head onto his lap.

“Be still, MC.”

You expected those words from him, the polite comfort of a doctor. But what you don’t expect is a kiss on your forehead, the voice of someone so calm to shiver with slight fear, longing.

“I have you now.”

If it was said by anyone else, it would sound like a generic word of support, but said by Kuras, it was an oath. A prayer of a priest who promised themselves to God.

OKAY THAT WAS RLLY LONG- I apologize- I just love Kuras a lot

Anyway !! That’s the first batch :] ! I hope you enjoyed !!!

I hope you have an amazing day, see a butterfly, eat lots of good food and have your favorite song play first in shuffle !! 🫶

#virtual novel #touchstarved x reader #Touchstarved #touchstarved game #touchstarved ais #touchstarved leander #touchstarved kuras #answered asks #thanks for the ask! #leander #kuras #ais

[smoothie03]

Do the "understand my ship in 5 mins" template with TeuTemp

I'm glad you asked since I've had that one in my drafts for years

Big/Little Spoon:

Idk both give me little spoon vibes if they're together. So they switch with being the big/little spoon.

Lends/Borrows Clothes:

As teens they are around the same height, so they'd be able to borrow or lend clothes equally. Once they're older (IF KT would be alive) Gabriel would tend to borrow clothes since he's shorter.

P.S. I made him shorter as an adult since he was in a dark and unfriendly place during the time he would have had a proper growth spurt.

(Also a correction: canon adult!Gilbert is 178cm, back when I wrote this chart the updates from Hetalia-Collezione didn't exist yet)

Pet Names:

There's no way Gilbert wouldn't call Gabriel a pet name. In fact he'd more likely call him a pet name instead of his actual name.

Suggestions made by my friend (a Prussia kinnie who I created my version of TeuTemp with; so yeah if I need info about Gilbert I just ask them):

-Goldie (bc of his golden-blonde hair and him being a golden child)

-Ghosty (after his death, Gabriel HATES that name and definitely hit him softly on the head for that one)

(If anyone has more suggestions for pet names, I wanna hear them!)

Introverted/Extroverted:

Actually I headcanon it like this:

Gabriel - extraverted introvert

Gilbert - introverted extrovert

Affection through words/actions:

Gabriel is 100% a man of words and songs (yet has difficulties to explain his feelings due to his upringing) and Gilbert isn't. Gilbert is a man of actions. He would brag about YOU surely missing HIM while actually he wants to say that HE misses YOU but god forbid if he said that this directly, ts ts... So yeah, Gilbert is more of an actions guy.

Confession:

Honestly, it depends on whether they already understand their feelings or not. I think it is complicated for them, since they are experiencing their first ever love in an environment that is horrible for gaining such experiences in a time where they would be judged heavily. Gilbert might say that he likes Gabriel at first but without knowing the full context of his "liking" while Gabriel would only tell him once he's sure he loves him but even if he properly confessed first (which is more likely) he'd be a bit more mysterious about it. Aka "Music transcends language and speaks to the heart. If you would like to, we can sing together."

You can't tell me that wasn't KT being hesitant about slowly telling him how he feels. The subtext with his face in that panel tells everything.

Bugs:

Yeah, I think the chart says enough.

Car:

Gabriel, my dude, doesn't even understand what a car is. And even if he knew, he wouldn't want to learn how to drive. He is a passenger princess.

But tbh I think Gilbert prefers being driven around too so if they need to go anywhere, Ludwig drives them. (Also, he might know how to drive but it's honestly a risk even as a "former" personification, since it's apparently common for albinos like him to have struggles with their sight.)

Cooking:

Gabriel grew up with quite a healthy diet, so he would maintain that and cook a lot BUT Gilbert has to introduce him to MORE spices. (I read sth about the Templars' diet but I am not sure how believable my source is)

PDA:

It is self explanatory that Gabriel wouldn't like public displays of affection since it is sth that unalived him once. If Gilbert would ever drag him to a pride parade in modern times, my poor child would still suffer from so much anxiety at the first time because he still feels watched and scared around others.

Protectiveness:

I would say both are very protective towards one another (in a stilll acceptable, healthy way. It isn't a possessive/controlling protectiveness but more like a protectiveness filled by worries due to their dangerous past but they're working on it)

But after Gabriel "d!ed" and if he ever met Gilbert again in modern times you cannot tell me that Gilbert wouldn't be the clingiest and most protective fuck ever and never wants to leave his side again in fear, someone takes his Gabriel away once again.

Meanwhile Gabriel will share a glare of death if he hears that someone tried to hurt/bully Gilbert. His OG reason for living was to protect pilgrims so I'm pretty sure he has a huge protection instinct for his loved ones.

Relationship experience:

They are each other's first love. They have none. But Gabriel is more socially skilled than Gilbert, so he isn't as inexperienced as Gilbert. (Also, he is Francis' cousin. I bet he taught him basic relationship 101.)

Cuddle Level:

They are both cuddly dorks <3 But Gilbert is clingier.

Awkwardness Level:

Both are fucking awkward when it comes to love but Gilbert is less awkward because he either doesn't UNDERSTAND what was going on in one situation or he simply ACTS like he isn't awkward at all (he is. He would even pray and cry around in shame when he touched Hungary before he knew she was a girl)

Meanwhile Gabriel is an overthinker and shows his awkwardness even more visibly than Gilbert. Also he is more aware of the atmosphere around him compared to Gilbert who is a stupid fuck sometimes. (Sorry, sometimes I still have to bully him)

Jealousy Level:

Okay, when I tried making up Gabriel's personality, I tought of flaws and I wanted to make jealousy his main flaw - ironically for him being considered a golden child that has everything but at the same time nothing- but somehow, in the making of the whole TeuTemp dynamic with my friend, Gilbert ended up being the more jealous one, especially in post-KT-"death" AUs.

Probably, because he is also the clingier one.

#teutemp #aph teutonic knights #aph knights templar #aph #hetalia #hetalia knights templar #hws #hws knights templar #hws teutonic knights #prutemp

[whumpster-dumpster]

To be fair a lot of people don't like to be associated with whump or liking it because there's quite a lot of very creepy people in this community. When the most popular blogs in this community either write graphic sexual abuse of young children and/or openly say they think writing pedphilic p0rn fic of kids is okay, and/or have rapi$ts date their victims, it doesn't look good and no one wants to be associated with that. There's also a lot of people here into very violent gore and death which isn't separated from the rest, I've seen a lot of people who think whump means gore. There's always the assholes who think things like writing pet whump makes you evil (even within the whump community this happens a lot, there's tons of assholes here) but there's far more that just think whump automatically = supporting/doing gross things. And then when all this community does (not you but others) is attack them instead of explaining not everyone's like that they just think everyone here is assholes. And again having the first blogs people see or hear about be those people I mentioned isn't a good look.

I don't know what parts of the community you're looking at but I haven't seen any endorsement of child p*rn here. A lot of blogs I've come in contact with avoid making content for underage whumpees completely, sexual or otherwise. In some cases, those who make NSFW whump content are abuse victims themselves who use it as a coping mechanism. It’s not my cup of tea, but most of them are good about tagging and giving warnings. It should be easy to blacklist and avoid -- and if you do stumble across it, you don’t have to stick around. Block them and move on with your life.

As for gore, it is a part of whump. We deal in content that describes injury, which naturally includes blood, which leads to gore. And death, well, that's just a part of life. No getting around it. That was my point about the “whump vs. squick” post. If whump makes you uncomfortable, if you find us “creepy”, don’t interact with the community. Curate your own experience. Feel free to blacklist us, block us and go to a different corner of the internet. 

People need to realize that creating whump content does not mean endorsement of it in real life. Drawing someone with a broken bone doesn’t mean you’re telling people to go out and break their own bones. Writing about a killer doesn’t make you a killer. That logic just doesn’t work.

#whump #whump community #tw abuse #answered ask #anonymous #discourse

[warcats-cat]

human interaction!!

what's your favorite thing to write? what's your favorite part of the writing process? your least favorite?

what other fandoms, besides the ones you've written, would you want to write for in the future? If you were forced to write something about a fandom you knew very little about (let's say you get a summary of the plot and characters, plus whatever you might've absorbed via fandom posts from your mutuals), what fandom do you think you'd have the most luck with and why?

if you create OCs, what's your favorite OC that you've created? have you created any villain OCs? do you prefer Gen fics or romantic fics (both to read and to write)? who's your favorite comfort character? who's a character that probably shouldn't be comforting, but is anyway? who's a character that other people seem to love, but you just don't get the hype?

I hope this helps a little!! I'm always down to chat and trade asks!

20 questions 🤣🤣🤣 ok:

1) my favorite thing to write is also my favorite thing to read! Hurt/Comfort!!!!!

2) Most favorite part - Daydreaming about the characters/storyline while pretending to be mentally present at work!

3) Least favorite part - Making the words go 😢

4) I usually write what I know best at any moment - I've been eyeing some of the art/fic in the FNAF fandom lately but just kinda dipping my hands in, not really ready to dive in. I just love my Sanders Boys, ya know?

5) I think I could BS something from one of the classic animes, like Death Note or Naruto. I did watch Ouran Highschool Host Club and a few other sillier animes but my fandom experiences with those ended at looking at fanart. ((Wait, can Pokemon count? Can I do Pokemon? I know some Pokemon 👀👀👀))

6) my OC's are my DND characters and by far my favorite is Ink of Dreams, my cat-person thief 😍😍. Also Thistle, who isn't really an OC so much as my OC's pet 😅😅😅 If anything I guess HE would be my "favorite" because I talk about him all the time and he's in three dnd campaigns and I had a plushie made and I'm trying to have a movable puppet made...

7) RN I have a villain OC for a WIP I'm working on (read: poking with a stick like a dead animal) and I do enjoy writing her very much. She is an agent of chaos and I hate her so much, it's great 💜 I don't have a lot of experience doing the just straight up ridiculously depraved, but writing her is also giving me practice for writing future LRH adjacent fics involving Gabriel 👀👀👀

8) uuuuhhhhhh I like cuddles 😅😅😅😅 I'm fine with both, just not big on smut. I think I'm a little bit romantically starved tbh because sometimes I pull up a comfort fic that I know is gonna make me cry because I just kinda *need* to cry if that makes sense? I'm asexual and finding a romantic partner is hard 🥲 But anyway yeah I'm fine with both! RN I'm on a baby fic kick so send me babies 💜💜

9) My current comfort character is Patton from Sanders Sides, and no one is surprised. 😅 I just vibe with him a lot because in also a very emotionally-open and emotionally-invested person, I tend to be a caretaker and I like to be prepared in case someone around me needs help. And RN with fandom drama especially, I just feel connected with Patton. I also experienced a period of my life where I tried to help but made some mistakes and then was demonized and called an abuser, manipulative, gaslighter, horrible person and then I found out I was autistic so the things I was doing (like leaving a party to sit outside and decompress when I was overwhelmed and crying) weren't as common-sense and understood as I thought (aka said behavior was called me going off and crying to isolate people and make them come take care of me) ANYWAY. It's kinda funny because I've always bounced between Patton and Virgil for TS; it was mostly Virgil at first and then I had a gap where Good Omens took over, and then it was back to TS but now more vibing with Patton

10) I can't really think of a comfort character that would be considered "not good" besides like. The characters I call my "Anime Boyfriends", Jake English and Dirk Strider from Homestuck, but that's more because like,,, the creator of Homestuck kinda uses a *lot* of slurs,,,, but also I only read like 1/4 of the whole comic,,,, and I go off of fanon interpretations,,,, from ask blogs c2012,,, so.........

11) I do not understand the obsession with Janus and Remus. I'm gonna admit - I don't like them in canon. At all. I am ok with most fanon interpretations, but I just don't like them. I like the "Core Four" (Logan, Virgil, Patton, Roman) and that's it. And I do NOT look forward to the "orange side". And to be 100%, I get frustrated because I want to read poly fic of just the core four and so many people are tossing Janus and Remus in the mix and I just want to find the ones that don't and it takes *forever* to filter out all of the different variants of ships. 🥲 obv I'm not going to tell anyone else to stop enjoying their ships and characters, but I'm not gonna go searching for the stuff that I don't enjoy, either.

Thank you for the ask friend!! 💜💜 it's very much appreciated lol, and a lot of your questions really made me think 😅😅

#warcats answers #xman friend #ask the author #author 20 questions #lol #sorry it took so long #i really had to think for some of these 😅

[kedreeva]

When I first got Stan, I wasn't sure he'd make it more than a few days, but he did. When I first took him to the vet as a baby, they told me not to expect him to make it to maturity, but he did. The last time I took him to the vet, a different vet from his usual vet saw him and had to sort through the list of known health issues to get to what was wrong this time, and was impressed he was even alive, and that was over a year ago. He's beaten a lot of odds, he's gone farther than even the most hopeful of speculation.

Unfortunately, a line in the sand comes for any animal Time doesn't take. For us, that line was him losing his ability to walk, or his ability to see, and both have been slowly worsening over the last year. Today, it has finally come down to the latter, as his vision has gone completely in his remaining good eye. For peafowl, that's a hard-line quality of life factor- it affects their ability to get food and water (which would mean stressful and uncomfortable tube feeding sessions 3x a day), as well as their ability to move into or out of shelter, and their ability to socialize. As they are HIGHLY social creatures, feeling like he's constantly alone would be absolutely miserable for him. I can't put him through that and still call myself a responsible owner, so he'll be going in for his final vet appointment tomorrow afternoon.

I know a lot of you have loved Stan over the past 7 years, and I know you're going to miss him nearly as much as I will. He's been a Very Good Boy, and this place is just not going to be the same without him.

#stan the peachick #animal death for ts #pet death for ts #pet death #animal death #my pets #i moved him into the sun for now to warm up #but he's clearly not doing well #2024 can fuck off right now #it has not been kind to me #peafowl #peacocks #i HATE people that don't give a shit about the genetic health of animals they breed #i hate people that perpetuate health problems because a mutation is pretty #this is a direct result of poor breeding #and I'm furious about it

[chuuyrr]

ur CRAZYYYY for the song related abilities, i love them smsmsm🥹 lavander haze sounds so cool. what’s ur fav ts song btw? and what song based ability would u give urself?

tysm dear anon !! ˃̵ᴗ˂̵

my favorite ts song as of the moment is cornelia street, followed by death by a thousand cuts, haunted, and king of my heart <3 but my top five fave albums are actually reputation, lover, fearless, speak now and midnights. ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)

i guess a song based ability i would give myself would be karma is a cat (karma) because when i was writing that to the stray cats fic of dazai, i actually based reader on me hehe.

i really like feeding and petting stray cats wherever i can, and i am a strong believer of karma—what goes around, comes around

and i actually have never been the kind of person to seek revenge either. i just let karma do its thing, because just like what i wrote in my future upcoming post, karma bides it time and it will come to you, one way or another !! ˶‘ ᵕ ‘˶

i forgot to mention it, but i took inspo from the lines of the song, the "i feel the lavender haze creepin' up on me," and,"surreal, i'm damned if i do give a damn what people say," was where i got the idea of making lavender haze as an illusion based-ability.

#📨 ⸝⸝﹕mail #from anon ! #AAAA i think rambled too much hehe #tysm for the ask and dropping by <3

[our-flag-means-death-ao3feed]

Good vibes only

by reverseratatouille

"Not a peep Iz", Ed had whispered to him, smoothening his sweater before moving lower to press the vibe against Izzy's cock through the fabric of the underwear, rubbing it against the sensitive skin, " 'ts not even there".

 Domestic steddyhands modern au where Izzy has two vibrators in/on him and he doesn’t know who's in control of which.

Words: 2430, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Characters: Israel Hands, Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Stede Bonnet

Relationships: Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet/Israel Hands

Additional Tags: Dom/sub, Sub Israel Hands, Dom Stede Bonnet, Dom Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Vibrators, Butt Plugs, Remote Vibrators, Overstimulation, Coming In Pants, Blindfolds, Gags, domestic husbands, but also Ed and Stede are Izzy's Sirs, Izzy's called kitten as a pet name like once but no petplay im sad to confirm, Modern Era, Service Submission, Author is Open to Hearing about Dead Batteries, izzys wont run out tho, (un)luckily for him

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/43798981

#Our flag means death #ofmd

[squirrelwrangler]

In my defense i cry easily and a documentary about homo naledi and that they buried their dead and probably with a grave good was going to make me tear up but sunday having to bury the pet dog and the impulse to bury him with his food bowl and yeah this shit is deeply ingrained in our genus

#ts: death/pet death #let's not watch the animal documentary in my emotional state right n-ooh new human anthropology documentary can't resist

[cyberghost-scout]

Oc information Fedelis

Name: Fedelis

Rank: Medic

Continuity Origins: Animated (2007) {Willingly go for multi-verse. A fun story for that one.}

Faction: Decepticon (ex)

Gender: Mech

Height: 35 ft 6 in/ 10.8204 m

Sexuality: Demiaroromatic gay

Family unit: Phantasma (Adopted Daughter) 

Ghostwire (Adopted Daughter)

Flow (A young bird whose daughter is BFF lives with them.)

Buster (Friend and also idiot)

Bolt (Friend and also idiot 2)

Lunarbreaker (Buster's Conjunx. Fellow brain cell owner)

Function: Before defection- Army Medic

Post defection- Medic, brain cell to keep the clan alive. And rebuilding Phantasma's new frame.

Frame-Type: War/Gladiator Frame

Alt mode: TS-54 tank

His construction is unknown, even for Fedelis himself. But given he was a street urchin for the first few million stellar cycles of his life in Kaon, it's safe to assume it was not high on Fedelis' needs, even today at the ripe age of 27 million stellar cycles (In his mid-fifties in human terms).

After a good 8 million in the inner city, Fedelis's decided to get a stable way to have the fuel to live another day. So he went to the city's gladiator pit. Initially wanting to be a warrior, he's fit and survived for a long time- until he witnessed that many bots were warriors to the point of being comical. Many faceless rookies to the astonishing amount of famous visage. He was not that educated, but even a street rat desperate for income could see he did not have a chance. But he wasn't going to give up the pit. He noticed an opportunity, a shocking lack of doctors for the wounded warriors. He took the chance and never looked back. Worked as a Gladiator medic for an impressive 10 million cycles before being recruited as a war medic.

Despite the bright red medic symbol on his shoulder and the bright yellow visor, this mech is not a flashy dude. A muscular but not pageant muscle build, a tan, grey, and black color scheme. And a mask covering the lower half of his face. He's practical, telling folks he's a medic from a glance, firm but cushioned from adrenaline-induced fight response from patients, preventing his face from getting stabbed again. He only removes the mask when he's absolutely pissed. The medic's dodgy knee won't save you.

Despite his simple looks, he's still good-looking, and everyone recognizes him because this mech is blunt as hell, reputable for keeping Gladiators alive, and he has time deceleration. He fires a blue electric blast from his cannons that slows a medium-range area's time to a crawl for ten minutes, with everything affected but him. He primarily uses this ability to help extremely critical patients and, in the time of war, help with the evacuation.

During his time in the war, he has seen the worse. Even with being used to the wounds the bots he repaired from the gladiator pits. And it was hard to keep the younger member of his team (Flow) grounded and focused. Then one day, Ghostwire came into the picture.

Fedelis is not the kind of mech who would not stay silent about how poorly the Decepticons or Autobots handle things. He proudly punched a scummy councilman once, and he'll gladly do it again. But he was rightfully upset that someone in the Decepticon hierarchy allowed a TEENAGER to join during the twilight years of a long grueling war. He does not care that this young femme has an impressive mod or is willing to join. They should know that recruiting someone this young during this time of the war is a death sentence!

Despite his evident concern, the scrappy femme was still on time, and fast forwards with the rest of the team almost killed off. Fedelis is very over how Decepticons' deviated from their beginning goals. And now, with the Allspark gone, all cybertronians will suffer. The old medic, by now, adopted Ghostwire and then decided enough is enough.

With what's last of the squad and later a few pets and Ghostwire's sister, somehow alive after all these vons, the clan traveled across the universe and occasionally Alternate Universe. Thanks for a fascinating quirk with old space bridges Flow exploits. 

#OC Fedelis #(two down. three more to go) #rules #Geist's Truth (headcanons) #The Pillar (Fedelis)

[shrikefria]

I lost one of my axolotls today I don’t even know why I feel so bad I feel like I killed her she was fine last night she was swimming around she had ate and I just feel so hopeless

#pet death #pet death for ts #ooc :: lets mc fucking lose it #she was my first one too :(

[voidwife]

we very unexpectedly had to say goodbye to our sweet little orange boy tonight. he was only 11. i am absolutely sick with grief. we both loved him dearly, but he was definitely my husband’s best little buddy.

#pet death for ts #tbd //adsf