#phanmindpalace

[dapg-otmebytheballs]

What are your favorite Dan and Phil fics?

I've been meaning to respond to this for ages but I had to compile the list first, sorry this is late!

I haven't read a lot of phanfic yet but I'm making my way through it on ao3! Here are ones that I loved so far:

They fade to nothing when I look at him by phasamtasie : (General) fluffy winter oneshot with sledging!

Come On Down To The Lavender Luck Lounge by thelezbrarian : (Mature) work in progress but it's a casino au where Phil is the casino owner and Dan is the accountant and I love this concept tons you should check it out!

again and again, even though we know love’s landscape by JudeAraya : (Mature) migraine hurt/comfort fic!! Very sweet and lovely

After the Storm (orphaned fic) : (Teens and Up) car accidents, ptsd, hurt/comfort, this one might be my favourite yet

The Edge by Japhan2024 : (General) Very sweet fic where they talk about the gaming channel return

CTRL+ALT+DELETE by ahappyphil : (General) DnP having to comb through social media and delete some memories, it's very sweet and intimate though

Of mistakes and fuck-ups by elusive_eventuality : (Explicit) post-vday vid, fight, happy ending, warning in this for self-harm and ed, but fics like these help me as someone who has similar issues so I hope it helps someone else out there too!

Leap of Faith by phanmindpalace : (Mature) another one with a warning for a suicide attempt, I think it's handled so well, especially how things are in the aftermath, and I'm sure there's others like me who need stories like this to find themselves in so this is for all of us fucked up readers hehe. happy ending tho!

after all that by cityofphanchester : (Teen and Up) another that's possibly my favourite so far, it's when Dan gets news from youtube about all his efforts being for naught. I think the very grounded but harsh facts of rejection are handled so well here, and how deeply it can hurt in a way that's all too big to make sense of. 10/10 would recommend

That's all from me for now! Thanks for the ask, I hope people find something to their tastes in this list 🌸

#asks #if you see your fic up there hi!! 👋🏼 #thanks for writing it! #fic #fic rec #phanfic #phan

[phanfictioncatalogue]

(TW) Mental Health (2) Masterlist

part one

boys they wanna paint me (ao3) - chickenfree

Summary: It’s not like Phil’s never had a boy stay over, but they’ve never done this.

catatonia (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: Some days Dan just can't move.

Don't Leave Me (ao3) - phanmindpalace

Summary: Dan suffers from PTSD. He has a flashback whilst at Phil’s apartment and Phil finds him on the bathroom floor shaking and sobbing. Comfort and fluff ensues.

Equilibrium (ao3) - breatherepeat

Summary: During the process of living his truth, Dan and his brother develop a new understanding of one another.

From the Passenger Seat (ao3) - Allthephils

Summary: Sometimes clarity hovers just beyond reach and you have to get in the car and drive till you find it.

Going Forward (ao3) - softiejace

Summary: When Phil Lester signs his students up for a mental health workshop, no scenario he's prepared for includes running into his ex...

invincible (ao3) - jestbee

Summary: the first day after is like a breath of fresh air

I wonder if I'll ever let go (ao3) - thesassykels66

Summary: Dan comes home from a long day of speeches and talks, putting on brave faces and shuffling through his cue-cards. Feeling all that weight of trying so hard, and succeeding, wash away when he finds Phil wearing a face mask.

Let the Human In - rainbowchristy

Summary: It’s just a regular workday for Phil. Doing rounds with his patients, helping out with the occasional emergency department case. The only difference? He has one new patient in the ED. One found unconscious on the street. One who starts throwing up from seemingly nothing. One, with a very dark backstory and no hope for the future.

Life's a Beach (ao3) - thewakeless

Summary: A year in the life of Dan and Phil, and their mental health.

Monochrome (ao3) - intoapuddle

Summary: When you build your life out of fear that your mental illness could worsen, it leaves little room for excitement. Luckily, Dan has found a space online where he feels comfortable.

One Thousand Midnights or More (ao3) - JudeAraya

Summary: A decade of love told in moments.

picture imperfect (ao3) - intoapuddle, jestbee

Summary: He knows Dan hates to be patient. What he wants is for Phil to get on with it, to overwhelm him with sensation so much that he can no longer think about all the expectations he's failing to fulfill. But Phil knows better.

restless (ao3) - overwhelmedbysonder

Summary: Breathe. Just breathe.

In. Out. In. Out. In.

It’s not that I don’t try. I see my family, my friends, visiting with their faked smiles and forced laughter, desperately trying to pretend that things are fine, that nothing’s changed. I see them and I want to reach out, I want to look at them and smile and reassure them that I’m here and I’m fine and I’m here, but I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.

Or, the one where Phil struggles with depression, PTSD and being mute, and Dan just wants to hug him.

Sutures (ao3) - jerseker

Summary: Phil returns to the forever home after a week away, just in time to pull Dan out of his negative thought spiral.

they just don't get it (ao3) - jestbee

Summary: Dan sometimes jokes about things that aren't a joke

Unraveling (ao3) - princejoohoney

Summary: Dan knew he was different from other children very early on. He never lost his 'imaginary friends', they only became a more integral part of his life. Living with his illness is never easy and with a secret as large as his, cracks are bound to appear. While he isn't ashamed of his DID, he knows the consequences of telling the wrong people.

when we need the truth (ao3) - wrongbed

Summary: Phil falls in love with Dan and everything is perfect, until it’s not.

(this is my take on the glorious 2009-2012 phan period, featuring Phil “Everything Is Fine” Lester and Dan “Prince of Angst” Howell)

#phanfictioncatalogue #phanfiction #phanfic #phan #masterlists #mentalhealth #mentalhealth masterlist

[phannie]

I'm not disliking the URL change. I laugh at myself whenever I mistake it for Dan. It's all good. (It saves my internal dilemma of 'is it softest wink or softest twink')

following me sounds like such a mind strain idk how u do it

#answered #phanmindpalace

[theforeverhiatus]

Don’t Leave Me || oneshot

Hi, this is my first phanfiction I'm uploading to this Tumblr, though not my first phanfiction written! I apologise for any typos. I've just bought a new laptop and the keyboard is a different size to my old keyboard.. If anyone wants to beta read for me, just let me know! 

Read on AO3

Words: 3979

SUMMARY 

Dan suffers from PTSD. He has a flashback whilst at Phil’s apartment and Phil finds him on the bathroom floor shaking and sobbing. Comfort and fluff ensues. 

Rating: 17+

Warnings: PTSD, moderately detailed mentions of sexual assault, swearing, v fluff, vomiting

Notes: I am writing this fic based on my own experiences with PTSD. PTSD is different for everyone and can be expressed in different ways. In case you aren't familiar with what a flashback entails, this is a definition given by RAINN: 

"A flashback is when memories of a past trauma feel as if they are taking place in the current moment. That means it’s possible to feel like the experience of sexual violence is happening all over again. During a flashback it can be difficult to connect with reality. It may even feel like the perpetrator is physically present." 

A flashback can be relating to any trauma, not just that of sexual violence.  If you require any help with this topic, you can message me and I'll be more than happy to help you find a helpline for your country or direct you to information.

Don't Leave Me 

It was 2am. Dan had just arrived at his friend, Phil's house after trailing through Manchester in the dark with a bag of laundry and an ever-growing feeling of dread rising through his body from his toes to the tip of his wavy hair. He wasn’t entirely sure what had triggered him to slip his shoes on and head for Phil’s, but he figured that if he shoved his dirty clothes into a bag and brought them along too, then he had an excuse regardless of how weak an excuse it was. Manchester was quite intimidating so early in the morning given how empty and isolating it was, so Dan walked quickly and with purpose in the direction of Phil’s apartment block. It was only a 40 minute walk, but it felt like much, much longer. He daren’t even put his earphones in his ears for the fear of someone creeping up on him. His chest felt tight, and his throat constricted as he tried to take in deep breaths, but he tried hard to push away his anxiety, telling himself it was just because of how unfit he was. He was fine. He just wanted to do laundry.

By the time he arrived, the adrenaline was racing through his veins as he tried to reason with himself for the fourth time that day that he wasn’t actually having a heart attack. He hated the dark, and he had known before he left that getting a taxi was probably the more sensible option, but what student has enough money to spare for a taxi across Manchester on a Friday evening/Saturday morning? Not Dan.

As he rang the buzzer for Phil's flat, he suddenly realised that he hadn't actually warned Phil he was about to turn up on his doorstep in the middle of the night. After several minutes and no sign of Phil, Dan's anxiety began to sky-rocket. He was going to be stuck out here, in Manchester City Centre all alone, and cold, and he was certain there was a giant rain cloud looming above him. His heart pounded in his chest, and he felt tears gathering in his eyes. He blinked and tried to pull himself together. He was 18 for God’s sake, and he was acting like a child. Suddenly, the intercom let out a long beep and Dan heard Phil's tired voice. He could listen to that voice all day; the sound of kindness, reason, and love. "Hello?"  Dan blinked rapidly to hold back his tears and cleared his throat. "Phil, it's me, Dan."  "Dan?" Phil repeated, concern evident in his voice. "Umm, okay. I'll let you up. Hang on." Phil went silent as he tried to decipher the buttons on his intercom panel. Finally selecting the button to open the door, he clicked off, leaving Dan standing waiting, with small drops of rain beginning to fall onto him. The door began to open and the intercom fell silent. Dan began to drag his laundry bag up the 6 flights of stairs, reluctant to use the lift at this time of night. He trudged along the hall to Phil's door, careful to keep his footsteps as quiet as possible for the sake of the neighbours who were all no doubt sleeping by now. Dan crept along until he reached the right number, where he was greeted by a bleary eyed Phil, dressed in cookie monster pyjama bottoms and a red hoodie. "Are you moving in?" Phil asked. His tone was serious, brow furrowed with worry.  "No, you spork. I came to do laundry," Dan replied quietly, walking past Phil and into the apartment. He dumped his bag next to the washing machine in the kitchen and began to kick off his shoes. He’d grown accustomed to treating Phil’s apartment as a second home, because it practically was. Phil told him that he needn’t knock, and had even given him the spare key. Too bad he couldn’t give him a spare fob for the main entrance so that he didn’t have to stand in the rain at 2am waiting for Phil to work out how to use the control panel. "At 2am?" Phil followed Dan through to the lounge and motioned for him to pass his coat which he then went to hang up in the cupboard. Busted. "Yeah. Laundry."  "Dan..." Phil raised his eyebrows and looked into the boy's eyes, searching for the truth. He was met by slightly wet, brown eyes staring back at him, dark rings encircled beneath them. "You having a bad night?"  "Maybe...” Dan muttered, defeated. If he couldn’t be truthful with Phil, then who could he be truthful with?  Phil nodded and went to switch the kettle on. "Tea?"  "That's so fucking British, Phil," Dan smirked. "Yeah, go on then." He went to sit down on the sofa, watching Phil as he drew his knees up to his chest and rested his head there. He sniffed, and Phil turned around to check that Dan wasn't crying.   "Do you want to talk about it?" Phil yawned. "Sorry, I'm not bored, I'm just tired." The kettle came to a boil and Phil set out two mugs on the countertop.  "Not really," answered Dan with a shrug. "I kind of just want to forget about it for now." Truth was, Dan wasn’t quite sure what exactly had brought him here in the first place, and until he had mulled it over in a safe space with Phil by his side, he had no idea what it was he was even meant to be talking about. "That's okay." The wind howled outside and Dan was thankful he'd set off when he had. The weather was worsening, just like Dan's emotional state. He smirked to himself at the pathetic fallacy and accepted a mug from Phil with a topless anime character on the front. "I only give Haru to people I really like," Phil smiled, "You're lucky." He sat himself down next to Dan, wondering what he could do to help. He settled for switching on the TV to try and help Dan distract his thoughts from whatever was going on in his mind. Tomorrow, they'd probably have a good chat about it, but for now, Phil knew that wasn't what Dan needed. He was also fully aware that Dan may not actually know himself what was bothering him, and that was okay too. Feeling low didn’t have to have a reason. The TV switched on to BBC1, and began to run through the news. A suspected terrorist had been identified in London, an outbreak of Norovirus was threatening to close an A&E department in Bristol, and a man had been sexually assaulted in Manchester; a third in a string of attacks. Phil flicked through the TV guide looking for something to watch, but the news played in a small box in the corner until he selected E4 which was showing reruns of the Big Bang Theory.  

Dan flinched beside Phil, who didn't seem to notice. It crept up slow, burning in the pit of his stomach as the nausea began to rise, threatening to make him puke all over Phil’s cream rug. His mind slowly began swirling with a thick, black fog and he was filled with that all too familiar sinking feeling. Dan suddenly found himself having to exert extra effort in a bid to keep his vision focused; his mind was pulling him deep into the depths of his worst memories. He knew what was likely about to happen, and he had to protect himself.

"Uhh, I'm just going to the toilet," Dan muttered, quickly getting up off the sofa and rushing down the hall with urgency. No, not now. Please, not now. Dan's face began to burn up, and his cheeks flushed a bright red. Thankfully, Phil didn’t turn away from the TV as he mumbled his acknowledgement, sipping his tea slowly. As Dan walked into the bathroom, he was forced to steady himself against the radiator in order to stay upright. He tried to breathe just like his counsellor had taught him; in for 7, out for 11. He even opened Tumblr and searched for the GIF of the pentagon that helped you to breathe during a panic attack. He loved that GIF, and sometimes even found comfort in the slowly expanding pattern that moved rhythmically before him, counting his breaths when all he could focus on was filling his lungs with air. He tried grounding techniques; he counted the spots on the bathmat, and he counted how many shades of blue he could see in the room. Slowly, slowly, his focus faded. He lost grip of the radiator as he hit himself on the side of his head in frustration. Sliding down the wall, Dan curled tight into a ball and brought his knees to his chin. Why am I like this? His plan was to just sit tight and ride out the flashback as quietly and subtly as possible. The trouble was, Dan was an expert in judging the severity of his flashbacks by now; he knew this was going to be one of the worst ones, and he couldn't guarantee what he'd be like during it or who long it would last. For a long time, his counsellor had told him you can control this, Dan. You have the power to take back control of your thoughts. And Dan had tried, he really had, but it was just so disheartening each time to fight and fight against his memories, all the while being consumed by fear and despair until he was shaking uncontrollably on the floor. He squeezed his eyes closed as tight as he could, willing away the images that were flashing through his brain. He felt a soft, breathy whisper against his ear. Keep still. Dan let out a moan as it all came thundering back in full force. You're not going to try to run are you? No, Dan thought. He was firmly fixed to the spot, his legs like jelly. He couldn’t run even if he tried. Rough hands were pressing against him, tearing at his clothes as he sobbed. He held himself tightly, and cried out in terror. "GET OFF ME! STOP!" Angry eyes flashed him, and all he could smell was the bitter scent of whisky. And strawberries. Strawberries?   A soft handed rested on his shoulder, shaking him slightly. "Dan. Dan. Dan!" This voice was different from before, and not as forcibly in his personal space. It was a softer voice. Huh? This isn't right. This isn't how it goes. Dan was sharply tugged back to the present, and his every atom was suddenly filled with embarrassment as he stared up at the black haired man standing before him. "Where are you?" Dan croaked out in a whisper. He could see Phil, but he couldn’t comprehend how the man was standing before him as he was hurled through this memory. Phil wasn’t meant to be here.

Phil didn’t quite understand what Dan was asking, but from what he had just witnessed, Dan wasn’t entirely in the same room as Phil. "Can I come closer again?" Phil spoke softly. "I think I frightened you a minute ago." When Dan didn't reply, Phil slowly edged toward him. "It's just me, it's Phil," he murmured, watching Dan carefully for any sign of discomfort. When Dan didn't flinch this time, and didn't continue to scream, Phil slowly lowered himself onto the ground beside him until he was sitting flush against him, their backs to the wall. Dan was watching Phil intently, his eyes still somewhat glazed over, but more focused than they had been moments earlier.

"Dan?" Phil whispered. "It's just me, Phil. I’m here." Dan remained silent, but slowly lowered his head onto Phil's chest, and he was quickly engulfed in warmth, and the very certain scent of strawberries. This was Phil. Phil was a safe person. He began to run through a list of things he knew about Phil; another grounding technique. Phil has black hair. Phil is 6ft 2. Phil hates cheese. Phil's birthday is January 30th. Phil wouldn't hurt me. He began to let out small, shaky sobs, which soon turned into loud, ugly wails. Just as he thought it was all over, the panic and terror returned all at once, and Dan promptly threw up all over Phil’s bathroom floor, narrowly missing Phil by inches. This only caused him to cry harder. If Phil was repulsed, or at all bothered by the smell, he didn’t give anything away. He gently directed Dan to the toilet where he continued to throw up until he was just retching, and his throat felt like it was on fire. Phil sat behind him rubbing small circles into his shoulder blades, whispering reassurance. “I’m here,” he soothed, “Just here, right behind you. Get it all out.”

Dan flopped onto the cold tile and Phil took this as a sign that Dan was done. He reached over him and flushed the toilet, pulling some toilet roll from the holder and wiping Dan’s mouth. “I’m about to take your shirt off, Dan. You just tell me if you want me to stop and I will, but it’s covered in sick.” Dan just sighed and continued to lie on the floor. He closed his eyes in exhaustion. Everything hurt; his chest, his throat, his head, his eyes, his heart. Though he remained fuzzy and distant, he was finally returning to the real world. Phil gently encouraged Dan’s arms out of the sleeves, and then pulled the t-shirt gently over his head, all whilst consoling Dan in hushed tones. He tossed the t-shirt into the corner and made a mental note to wash that as soon as he’d sorted Dan out. Standing up, and making his way to the door, Phil heard Dan whisper so quietly that he barely heard him. “Don’t leave me.” ”I’m just going to my bedroom, just across the hall to grab you another shirt and I’ll be right back.” Dan groaned, but Phil was concerned about how much the boy was shaking with fear and cold, so he quickly walked over to his dresser where he chose a pacman t-shirt and brought it back to the bathroom. He took a flannel from the side of the bath and began to fill the sink with soapy water. “Here’s a wet cloth,” Phil explained, holding it out to his friend. “Just give yourself a quick wash if you can, just to get the sick off. I’ll turn around if you want.” Dan whimpered softly. “You.” He opened his eyes, still lying on the floor shaking. ”Me? You want me to do it?” Phil asked. He was eager to have Dan’s explicit consent to engage in this intimate act, especially following what had just happened. The last thing he wanted was to scare Dan, or to make him feel uncomfortable. Dan’s head nodded ever so slightly, and Phil knelt down and gently encouraged Dan into a sitting position. He slowly wiped Dan’s torso, and then dipped the cloth into the sink, squeezing out the excess water and tossing it into the wash pile alongside Dan’s shirt. Tears continued to run down Dan’s face, and Phil felt a surge of sadness. His friend was suffering, and there was nothing he could do but be there. He had so many questions, none of which would help right now, so he pushed his thoughts away from everything he wanted to do to the bastard who’d damaged Dan, and focussed himself on just simply being there. Towelling Dan off felt strange; not because of the intimacy, but because Phil had never done this to anyone before and it just felt unnatural. Once he was convinced Dan was dry, he tugged the pacman shirt over Dan’s head. “There you go. Do you want pyjama bottoms or do you want to sleep in your boxers?” ”Pyjamas,” Dan whispered. He wasn’t sure he could handle wearing so little clothing right now, even though he trusted Phil with his life. He wanted to cover as much of his skin as possible; create a barrier between him and the world. Every touch lingered on Dan’s skin, and though Phil had stopped wiping him down, Dan could still feel the memory of it against him as though it were still happening. That’s how he knew he was beginning to come back to reality; he could reason with himself that Phil’s touch was gentle and kind. He wanted Phil’s touch. “Okay. I’m just going to have to go and get some, but I’ll be straight back.”

Phil returned moments later holding some Star Wars bottoms to find that Dan had already shuffled out of his trousers…an improvement, thought Phil. At least Dan was managing to co-ordinate his limbs slightly better than he had minutes earlier when he’d lashed out at Phil, apparently unaware of who was nearby. Dan’s eyes were watching Phil intently rather than being fixed absent-mindedly ahead, and Phil noted the progress, however small. Phil passed over the pyjama bottoms, and Dan slipped them on quietly. Though he seemed calmer than he previously had, he was still shaking hard.

”Dan, I think it’s best we get you all comfy. You don’t have to go to sleep, and I’ll leave the light on. I’ll be right behind you, but I need to clean up,” Phil spoke softly, holding his hand out encouragingly. Dan grabbed it, and Phil pulled him up, slowly leading him into his bedroom. He flicked the bedside lamp on, and settled Dan under the covers, tucking them around him. “I’m just cleaning up. Nothing else. Then I’ll be right back and we can talk about it, or we can just lie here. It’s all your decision.” Dan nodded slowly and reached out for Phil’s hand, which Phil took immediately. Dan squeezed, and Phil leant down to stroke Dan’s fringe from his face. “Two minutes, okay?” Dan nodded again, and Phil left to grab his cleaning bucket from the kitchen. He hated sick. Usually, the very sound of someone being sick made Phil gag, but something about the urgency of the situation meant that he had successfully stayed by Dan’s side. He wondered if that was what being a parent was like; if that’s how his Mum coped when he and Martyn were sick - because you had to. The stench hit him as soon as he returned to the bathroom. Man up, he thought. He crouched down and began to clean his floor, spraying it with disinfectant that smelled like lemon and lime. He’d never seen Dan in this state before. Sure, Dan had come round to his apartment before, sometimes with an extremely anxious demeanour about him, and he’d even cried into Phil’s chest, but he’d never been like he had been tonight. Phil knew that it was some sort of intrusive memory, and he knew that Dan must have been through some sort of trauma that he hadn’t yet disclosed to him; the very thought almost making him throw up as well. His friend was suffering, and he felt an intense urge to help in any way he could, no matter what it took. Suddenly, he heard soft sobs coming from his bedroom. Dan was crying again. Phil sped up with his cleaning, and within a minute or two had finished; his floor looked cleaner than it had before Dan arrived. Quickly throwing some toilet cleaner down the toilet and setting his washing machine away on a hot wash, he rushed back to Dan’s side with a glass of water. “Hey, hey hey hey…I’m back. Dan, can you hear me?” Dan looked up in acknowledgement, his head rested on the pillows. He looked exhausted, and Phil knew he wouldn’t take long to fall asleep. He was prepared to sleep on the sofa if Dan needed space, but he thought he’d ask if he could join him in the bed anyway in case he needed the safety of having someone nearby.”Please,” Dan whispered. Phil lifted the covers and joined Dan under them, reaching out to find his hand. “Shhhh,” he soothed, “It’s okay, I’m here. I’ve got you.”

Dan’s cries lessened, and his breathing slowed until he was taking deep breaths. Phil knew he shouldn’t ask questions, but he couldn’t help himself. He had to know who. If Dan didn’t want to answer, that was fine, but Phil really needed to know if Dan was safe now or not. ”Who was it, Dan?” Phil murmured, so quietly that for a moment, he didn’t think Dan had heard him. Dan’s eyes stayed closed tight. ”Eric” Phil knew Eric. Phil knew that Dan still knew Eric. This was going to need to be dealt with, but it would have to wait. “From Reading? The one I met at the reunion we went to?” Eric was Dan’s ex-boyfriend, who’d been with Dan through some of high school. Phil knew the break up was messy, but that’s all Dan had told him. He felt Dan’s head move up and down beside him on the pillow. ”Before I left for uni. Every time I saw him...he would...make me...” Dan’s tears began to flow again, and Phil pulled Dan closer, enveloping him in a warm hug. He held him close and whispered reassurances to him soothingly, running his fingers through his fringe. The sobs continued to rack through Dan’s body and Phil’s neck quickly became wet with tears. “Every damn time.” ”We don’t have to talk about it now, but listen to me; I will hold you for as long as you need, and I will be right by your side wiping away your tears.” He hushed Dan, and continued to thumb his fingers through the boys fringe, until he quietened once more. ”I’m sorry,” Dan muttered. “For turning up so late. And being sick. And pushing you away. And-” ”Dan. Stop.” Phil interrupted him urgently. “You have nothing - nothing to be sorry about. I am here for you always. You aren’t alone. Dan, I love you with all my heart and I will do anything for you.” His love for Dan, regardless of whether platonic or romantic, soared through him, and he needed Dan to know he wasn’t on his own anymore; that he would never be on his own ever again. The two of them lay there in silence for a long time, before Dan’s breathing began to slow, and he let out a little snore, relaxing into Phil’s embrace. Phil only hugged him tighter, quietly vowing to never ever let anyone hurt Dan again. He would protect him, hold him tightly, and most importantly, he would never ever leave him.

 ~fin~

 If you’ve been affected by any of the topics raised in this fic, please feel free to message me. Also, I really welcome feedback/prompts, as it’s so hard starting out a new tumblr and I’d appreciate it so, so much!

#danielhowell #danisnotonfire #amazingphil #phillester #phanfiction #phanfic #phanmindpalace

[riteofashkente]

Some things that happened at II

- Dan dabbed for the pie chart

- Phil dab-sneezed

- Dan did some other dabs as well, plus people were dabbing to the Final Countdown in the interval

- Phil threw the orange at Dan after Dan got off the wheel and Dan threw his glasses at Phil for that, then commented that “This won’t turn into a glasses-throwing contest”

- also Phil in that apron and those gloves is a vision

- Dan had to help Phil untie his apron (of course to whoops from the audience at that)

- Dan then got his white protective suit off, with no help from Phil “no need for Phil to help Dan undress” (or something to that effect), but he kept losing his balance so everyone looked at him and laughed, including Phil who wasn’t able to continue with his bit

- “Dan distracting Phil” ah yes that got a lot of noise from us

- honestly Phil ‘broke character’ so many times

- e.g I’m pretty sure his giggles at Dan referencing that ‘light’ was his first word (with a high voice) were entirely him just laughing (during the simulation bit)

- Phil was so tired during the evening m&g, I guess the irn bru did it’s work, he was pretty zazzed onstage

- Phil apparently had had like four or five irn bru’s that day, the consensus on the taste was caramel with a few pennies dropped in

- oh yeah, @all of you who don’t believe that Dan has stubble - I met them. I hugged them. That boi 100% had some stubble, it was very sparse, but it was there.

- speaking of the m&g, I got them to sign and answer two truth bomb cards (credit of idea to @phanmindpalace)

- (this is the bit where my memory fails because I was meeting them agahshsgagah) I think Dan commented to Phil “it’s true” or smth like that about his answer and they laughed together

- hands down the cutest moment of meeting them, it was clearly between them two and I can’t believe I was there to witness it

- yes Dan hugs while holding you away from him, Phil has the best hugs!

- Dan is a fricking selfie wizard or smth, all the pics he took are so good!!!

- like an iPhone SE front camera? The absolute worst. His pics? I mean, I’ve peaked. I’ll never look better. It’s a fact

- also Marianne is so nice! She asked how we (I went with @robin-mood) were doing and when I asked how many photos we were allowed, she said the boys are the bosses themselves and to ask them (we got one together, Phil was tired, bless them for meeting so many people and doing two shows in one day!)

- also like I wanted the cards signed and I brought my plushies along since I wanted them to just hold them during the photo (they are my good luck charm for exams, I have them in my bag with me), but I guess since Robin got their plushies signed (on the butt, prompting Dan to say “I’d be honoured to sign the butt”. I’m-), they signed mine as well! Which, like, uhhh, thank you so much!!!!! They are the nicest people ever, I love them so much! (Dan had to sign the butt, Phil signed his foot for my plushies (they’re the original ones, Robin has the pastel ones))

- also when we first met them and I’d hugged them, they noticed my bubble bobble player 1 and 2 earrings!!! Aah they are so nice!

- okay back to the show

- Phil with his innuendos. Like, mate, you totally know what you’re doing

- also he had a go at a scottish accent

- ashsjhags Dan sidled up to Phil with his back nearly touching him at the best friends, soulmates speech bit

- I think he wanted them to lean their bodies together like some spy film double act, but Phil didn’t realise/play along

- oooh the rant Dan had at Phil stealing cereal

- “You know it says on the package that it’s a family-sized package? Well, you’d think that one man shouldn’t be able to eat all of that! And the worst bit is that he doesn’t throw the empty box away! So I’ll go to have breakfast and all that pours out of the box is some dust!”

- Phil commenting on the fact that Dan guessed that a rat’s picture was his picture “well, technically it is you”, at which Dan took his shocker thing off and nearly whacked Phil with that aagajagsksj

- okay this is probably my imagination, but it looked like they were constantly trying to put space between the two of them, at points Dan crossed the stage to be next to Phil and it looked like he wanted to lean into Phil, but he just hovered a small distance away

- aah Dan being so proud of being Phil Trash #1 and then commenting how his brain is so full of useless facts

- and then he called Phil a “fake fan/phake phan” for not knowing what five of Dan’s reasons why he’s a fail are (we all got to do the intro song bit for that)

- also Phil yeeeed, so we all did the yeeee meme with Dan doing the first bit and all of us doing the yeeee

- then Phil yeeeed again, but more sadly

- ohhh, Phil sang “come in my lady door” on stage since “The Lady Door Tour” was one of the suggested names for the tour

- which prompted Dan to say that Phil actually suggested that as a tour name, Dan then had asked if he meant it for a second actually seriously, and apparently Phil had actually seriously suggested that the tour be named that

- ok but them making us listen to that before the show started

- like what even, but also Phil, wtf

- also everyone obvs recognised Welcome to the Black Parade from the first note (heh) and sang along

- honestly Phil Lester is a force of chaos to be feared and we must all be thankful to Dan for keeping him (somewhat) in reign

- they talked about snokoplasm video and that it was just “three minutes of Phil, with no shirt, rubbing shower gel on his face”

- in the dilemmas bit Dan would rather let Phil dangle above a volcano than watch Hello Internet for 24 hours

- and Phil would rather be able to eat cereal than for Dan to never have an existential crisis again “I’ll have an existential crisis if I can’t have cereal!” “Think of this seriously for a second, this is my happiness we’re talking about! I would be able to create so much more content!” “Honestly, I think it’s the existential crises that provide you inspiration.” One savage boy has been detected

- they spent a lot of time looking at each other, especially when Dan was playing the piano

- uhh btw does anyone have the full lyrics to Phil’s rap? Once the lyrics disappeared it was somewhat hard to understand what he was saying, second row is great for seeing them up close, but not for hearing what is going on

- yeah, pls lower the volume next time, it hurt my ears

- the three things we though were in Dan’s secret box were Dan’s shrine to Phil, the stress mushroom (they referenced the PINOF video at that point) and a key to Phil’s Lady Door. Also Phil commented that Dan’s key holder thing is “50 shades of grey-esque”

- one of the inaccurate predictions was “kinky things that will make my cousing not talk to me any more”, to which they apologised ahsjshaags

- their expressions at the dog video, aah, so good

- while they had the remote thing Phil kept pressing the air horn sound and then pressed the bomb sound while squatting. Dan felt compelled to comment at this (“are you sure that sound was a good decision with squatting? Okay, whatever”)

- Dan mimicked punching Phil while pressing the breaking glass sound at one point (can’t remember why anymore ://)

- everyone clapped and cheered when Dan said that gender roles shouldn’t exist (when his simulation had to go to the female toilet)

- the fact that the option was to do body shots off an otter. Hmm. Interstitches. 🤔🤔🤔

- I really liked the deep question bit, you could tell they were actually invested in the topics and actually trying to help

- they were asked what they liked most in Edi and they said the castle at first, but then complained that they were tricked into doing exercise, because no one told them it was on a hill

- Dan said it was the people in his sickly sweet sarcastic voice, they then agreed on something else, but I can’t remember what, oops

- Dan’s naruto run to retrive the box of stuff they won’t do from offstage was adorable as hell!

- there’s probably so much more I’m not remembering rn, but it was such a great show and I wish I could go to all of the shows, they are so amazing! Also they looked so good, their current hairstyles suit them so well, I never want to see them go back!

- that line in the rap that Phil is a ‘ginge’ though

- anyway I might add stuff if I remember more

#ii spoilers #spoilers #interactive introverts #dan #phil #daniel howell #phil lester #amazingphil #dnp #dan and phil #interactive introverts edinburgh #long post

[phansprings]

Yo, I just joined tumblr. 1. Whats a mutual? 2. Difference between reblog and repost? 3. Good/unproblematic phan accounts? 4. Some phan shitpost accounts? 5. Whats the tea? ☕☕☕

yo! welcome friend!!!

1. a mutual is someone who you follow that follows you back!

2. a reblog, is when you reblog the post on your dash using the reblog button. a repost is when you save the image/gif/copy the text post and post it on your own blog crediting it as your own when it’s not!

3. hmmm I have a lot of friends and mutuals on here n love them all but here are the people I enjoy talking to and LOVE the content from!!

@legdabs @manchester-memories @cleverphil@thoughtfullightcollectionii @dinosaurnerdhowell @happylittlephilussy@jumpsuitphil @dorky-hufflepuff @laddyplester@phantasieslide @linguisticswithlester @neondnp @h-owllslide @infinitylester @phanmindpalace @moleculester @shutup-rat @squishmp3 @adorabledaniel @coffeemandan @punchmedanny

(These are my main friends so don’t feel badly if you aren’t in it it probably means we just don’t talk as much as I would LIKE TO) (I’m gonna be doing a follow forever this week maybe bc i have 7 asks that just say “blog reCs!/?!:!???!/“)

4. My fav shitposters (slash fav just original content posters that I didn’t mention in the last part) are

@manchester-memories is my literal best friend on this whole earth she’s so funny always in for a t r e a t

@rodants really ur just in for great content from Alexa 24/7

@dqnielhowell (not my mutual but you’re going to find a ton of really great original content from Taylor! She’s also just super duper sweet to everyone so that’s a nice thing)

@domphil for just QUALITY tea, they aren’t a phan blog tho! Don’t expect phan content! And don’t follow if you aren’t 18

@knlalla writing my fav fic at the moment currently also really kind blogger who’s asks about dnp are heartwarming

@dayphil super aesthetic blog I often go for just a nice scroll

5. The tea is I love the tumblr community as it makes me the most comfy out of all the phandom. rn the tea is that there isn’t much tea! but if you follow me and my pals you’ll see the tea as it comes and goes and I hope you enjoy the community you’re being welcomed into!

(If you send me ur @ I can help you out pal)

#ask.fm #don’t rn this bc i mentioned you pls #I only did the @‘s so this nonnie can find you #but I love u all

[shookethbrooketh]

Brook I need your help! My dash is dead and I trust our opinion! Any recs for active dnp blogs that are in your notifs, (good) pals of yours or just mutuals, make quality content/reblog quality content, are generally nice and welcoming, blogs you find yourself scrolling through, etc. etc. Thank you love❤️❤️

ahh yes ofc i love blog recs!!! here are some of my favorite phan blogs :) some mutuals some not, but super long bc i’m an absolute mess. (if u know ily but i didn’t mention u it’s bc u don’t have a phan blog) 

@sorta-phantastic @justphantastic @itsmydanpheelings @cosmicphanmemes @peanut-phan @ninapons @philester @lightphilly @cherryscentedlube @ribenaflip @hellspawnhowell @curlsanddimples @rosypatchdaniel @turquoisespace @phanmoosage @alloutofamortentia @phanmindpalace @demonphannie @phanpunsarephun @phan1315 @ohfuckphil @rwdaf @pseudophan @ithurtsnotolaugh @manchester-macchiatos @danslawdegree @dansucc @dnpsuck @astronomy-rats  @interactivelntroverts @fin-flora @soyoudonthavetobebrave @datgurlmacs @pinofnine @ailiyah @cakescenes @philsextendedbday @the-phantastic-plan @linguisticswithlester @existingcourage @flyingstarshowell @thisguydan @xmagicpenguinx @moossage @rodants @introvert-say-what @phancuffs @dpnielhowell @orchestralester @dinosaurnerdhowell @awrfhi @itstotallynotphiloclock @manilovedan @interruptedbyfjreworks @dqnielhowell @youregonnahavesex @plantboy-lester @wildflower-lester @angelphannie @unorthodoxsavvy @martynandcornelia @daytonwentupinflames @blooperphan @phandomsub @floppy-ding-dong @whatthepeoplewant @dip-and-pip-trash @amazingphiw @phantrashhowlter @legdabs @lilacskylester @mylivingphantasy @golddustphan @iihappydaysii @moonchair @radical-flaar-queen @die-child-peck-peck-peck @marigoldan @oddpyromaniac @moleculester @theyremarried @infinitylester @claireisamaz @cosyhowell @boncasphan @pajama-phil @martisun @p-hantasticpheels @comfortphan @itsmyfuckingcrunchynut @mrandmrlesterhowell @asterphil @astroidphil @dailyboothdan @manchester-memories @angeryphil @analester @fireicelapis @phanwithdogs @breakfastbants @deathclassic @fondan @corgisocks @cosmos-dan @phantasticlizzy @phansterdam @softgolftechniques @waveydnp @moonbeamphan @octoberninteenth @rippedjeanz @fireworksphil @orlandophan @languagedaniel @botanistlester @akilahthegreat @perhaps-trees-and-tea @othersentencesbyphil @adorkablephil @huphilpuffs @phaddy @phils-quotation-marks @mollieblackwrites @deadlester @phloridas @teatime-phan @copyright2009 @instarbuckswithdan @dorky-hufflepuff @aforeverhome @melodanmatic @wispyphil 

#mutuals #pallios #not ph*n #answered #anon #ask

[paradisobound]

This is my second art for the PRB based off from this prompt that I thought of:

Dan runs an aesthetic punk Tumblr blog but in real life is actually a pastel boy. Between trying to maintain both of his personas, he soon finds himself talking with a punk boy online named Phil. They form a relationship but how far can they actually go before Dan’s persona is given away?

Once again, I’m super excited to see what all of my amazing authors create!

FIC 1  (unorthodoxsavvy) | FIC 2 (phanwillbemydeath) | FIC 3 (phanmindpalace)

#phandomreversebang #edit #my edit #phanart #phan #I’ll link the fics when I have a chance

[unorthodoxsavvy]

Hi I know you reblogged an ask similar to this one but what are some unproblematic blogs like YOU like?

Oh wow you’re uuuuh really putting me on the spot here (not that I totally wanted this or anything smh) (not like I looooove reccing my friends or anything)@the-cass-meow @itsmydanpheelings @golddustphan @phanmindpalace @the-phantastic-ravenpuff @seaflowerlester @deafbcofdaniel @cosyhowell @danitsphils @dead-nightingale @chemicxlphxn @teensy-tiny-flowers @perhaps-trees-and-tea @solardanstem @solarphilstem @asterphil @blamethebutterflies

These are picked mostly from my most recent followers or from the top of my head. These blogs contain little to no posts about the discourse. I’m not saying anyone who posted about the discourse is problematic in any way, and I actually appreciate the movement behind it, and I myself have reblogged a few things I agree with. I encourage anyone to add on to this because there are soooo many blogs I love that I just can’t fit them all. These are also just Phan ones, as I follow so many other wonderful blogs too. Thank you so much.

#anon #blog recs

[phanfeed-ao3]

Now that I see you

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2sw6b3b

by phanmindpalace

Theatre student Dan creates an online persona as part of a university production he's working on. As he struggles with his identity, Dan becomes gripped in a spiral of lies that threaten to destroy a relationship before it's even begun.

Words: 2353, Chapters: 2/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Dan Howell, Phil Lester

Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester

Additional Tags: Phandom Reverse Bang 2018, phandom reverse, Phan - Freeform, Phandom - Freeform, Daniel Howell - Freeform, Phil Lester - Freeform, Alternate Universe, Pastel Dan and Punk Phil, Punk Phil, Pastel Dan, Anxiety, theatre dan, Strangers to Lovers, Romance

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2sw6b3b

#phanfic #phanfiction #phan #danisnotonfire/amazingphil #dan howell/phil lester

[me-and-phil]

The 10 Song Challenge

I was tagged by the lovely @pocoinquieto (I'm so sorry it took me so long to do this, I love you, I swear). Basically you put your music on shuffle and list off the first 10 songs that come up. Time to be exposed by my weird music tastes. Let's go!

1. End Game-Taylor Swfit

2. Galveston-Glen Campbell

3. Delicate-Taylor Swift

4. Superlative Heroes-Samsa

5.DONTTRUSTME-3OH!3

6. Why Worry-Set It Off

7. When We Were Young-Andy Black (Pop Goes Punk version)

8. Greek Tragedy-The Wombats

9. Skid Row-Broadway cast of Little Shop of Horrors

10. Fire Escape- Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness

This was fun! I tag @dorky-hufflepuff @hannn03 @bury @phanmindpalace @danandphilinvr and @diaryofphil

#10 Song Challenge

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Flashbacks (TW) Masterlist

Links Last Checked: March 24th, 2022

2009, 2012, 2019, 2022 (ao3) - OliveTheHobbit

Summary: “Most people have like yearly photo books, we have this weird ass videos” - Daniel Howell, some bloopers from phil is not on fire 10.

Some of the memories they gathered along the way got fresh in their minds at the moment they decided to buy a photo album.

In celebration to Dan and Phil’s 10th anniversary.

A Spark Is All It Takes (ao3) - Carryonmywaywardlester

Summary: It’s the summer of 2018 and Dan and Phil are visiting a very pregnant Louise. Their interactions with Darcy cause a chain reaction that lead to a revelation.

Dan and Phil versus the World (ao3) - Susannah (realismandromance)

Summary: In an alternate universe (where Poe the cactus survived), Dan and Phil revisited Japan after TATINOF. Now they’re back in London, but something's changed, leaving Dan tense and restless. Maybe they’ve been so busy selling Dan and Phil™ all these years that they’ve forgotten how to be themselves. Storytelling has a way of seeping into real life, but it only confounds things when you start to believe it.

Degradation (ao3) - theshyauthor

Summary: Phil calls Dan a slut during sex and Dan doesn’t like it.

Don't Leave Me (ao3) - phanmindpalace

Summary: Dan suffers from PTSD. He has a flashback whilst at Phil’s apartment and Phil finds him on the bathroom floor shaking and sobbing. Comfort and fluff ensues.

Everything Was Phil And Nothing Hurt (ao3) - firebadtreepretty

Summary: Dan and Phil visit the Isle of Man for Phil’s 30th birthday. Seaside walks, fluff, flashbacks. Dan’s pov.

Forever Together (ao3) - chaiclouds

Summary: (TW) Its the anniversary of PINOF, and Dan decides to visit his best friend and partner.

Let Me Help You Be Okay - contentedlyconfused

Summary: Phil can handle the panic, it’s just a part of living with Dan.

Let Me Live In A Daydream With You - phanqueray

Summary: In a long bittersweet flashback, Dan relives his memories for the last 8 years. In real life, Phil feels like he’s drowning.

lost in your paradise (ao3) - lestered

Summary: It’s been six years of surreal friendship, and an even surrealer crush. Six years of traveling all around the world, and wanting to kiss him in every place.

Six years of chickening out every time.

Dan has no reason to believe that Japan will be any different, but anything can happen when you get lost under the Tokyo lights.

Misunderstanding (ao3) - irphanfic

Summary: after PJ invites Phil to the cinema with him and encounters his ex-boyfriend there, what will happen between the two?

O (ao3) - nokomisfics

Summary: dan and phil stopped talking in 2009. by a twist of fate, five years later, they meet.

Please Don’t Hit Me - danhowellsfringe

Summary: Dan has a flashback to when he was in an abusive relationship and explains it to Phil after it happens in front of him.

Someday (ao3) - philsdrill

Summary: “Everyone had a link with their soulmates, some could hear some of their partners thoughts, some had a tattoo that would appear with their partners name; for me, I knew when they got sick.” For a while Phil has thought that his soulmate might have an eating disorder and doesn’t expect to meet him in the restaurant where he works.

The Fear of Falling Apart (ao3) - kcanwrite

Summary: Straight up angst, served cold. The undoing of Dan and Phil's marriage.

The Rooftop - jilliancares

Summary: Phil’s been best friends with Dan all his life, and it seems like every night they were up to another adventure. Just when did that platonic, best friend love, turn into something more?

Those Who Trust (ao3) - theshyauthor

Summary: Dan used to be a submissive and now he’s just a broken shell of a man.

You're Here Now (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Phil gets angry with Dan and triggers a flashback. I don't know how to write summaries but I promise it's less shit than this summary is.

#phanfictioncatalogue #phanfiction #phanfic #phan #masterlists #tw #flashback #flashback masterlist

[fandom-games]

Submitting for @phanmindpalace

-

36 points! Your team has completed this challenge! -haru

#round 1 #challenge 4 #team e #submission

[ao3feedphan]

Now that I see you

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2sw6b3b

by phanmindpalace

Theatre student Dan creates an online persona as part of a university production he's working on. As he struggles with his identity, Dan becomes gripped in a spiral of lies that threaten to destroy a relationship before it's even begun.

Words: 2353, Chapters: 2/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Dan Howell, Phil Lester

Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester

Additional Tags: Phandom Reverse Bang 2018, phandom reverse, Phan - Freeform, Phandom - Freeform, Daniel Howell - Freeform, Phil Lester - Freeform, Alternate Universe, Pastel Dan and Punk Phil, Punk Phil, Pastel Dan, Anxiety, theatre dan, Strangers to Lovers, Romance

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2sw6b3b

#IFTTT #ao3feed #fanfic #phan

[theforeverhiatus]

fluffyfelineroleplay >> phanmindpalace

too many people were asking if I was a furry and also gamingmas is over sad times :( no more changes now though!

[glittergradient]

phanmindpalace ha risposto al tuo post “I’m curious, what is your favorite movie? or just a movie you love in...”

I recommend the Prestige if you like twist endings and Hugh Jackman, Les Mis if you like musicals, Deadpool is dark humour and Trolls is a super cute animation? ��

oh thank you! I love Les Mis and I’ve been curious to watch Deadpool!

#phanmindpalace