Roommates AU: It was a Mash
The belated Halloween fic for the Roommates verse that @incendiaglacies and I have which she has been so patient with me about.
AO3
Gideon blinked a few times as the contact lens slipped into place. Felicity had made sure she knew how to this a week ago with personal instruction instead of relying on a YouTube tutorial. Despite having practiced a few times, it still felt strange to be putting something right on her eye. Glancing up in the mirror, she shuddered a little at the bright green irises of her reflection. Creepy as it was, the contacts were what she needed to sell her Halloween costume.
“Wow.”
Gideon turned around to see Felicity, already decked out as Daenerys Targaryen, standing in the hallway. “You like it?”
“Yeah,” her friend nodded. “I knew what you were going for, but it’s a little freaky.”
“I’m sorry to frighten you,” Gideon replied, tilting her head as robotically as she could.
Felicity shuddered. “Now it’s freakier.”
“Perfect.”
The two walked out to the living room where the others were waiting for them. Caitlin was sitting on the couch, Schrodinger purring and stretched across her lap. Cisco was perched on the other end of the couch, trying not to look at Lily. Gideon didn’t blame him for that. This year, her friend had decided to dress up as Medusa and looked about as terrifying as the mythological woman herself.
“You’re definitely going to scare someone with that,” Gideon told her as she walked past her.
“This is not the scariest thing someone could see tonight.”
“It’s up there though,” Felicity told her. “You actually look scarier than Gideon.”
Caitlin shook her head. “Gideon doesn’t look very scary. It’s just the contacts that are unnerving.”
“They are,” Lily agreed.
“I just appreciate that Caitlin, Felicity, and myself are not out to terrify the children tonight,” Cisco chimed in, crossing his hands over his puffy vest.
“Halloween is allowed to be spooky,” Lily defended. “I might have gone sweet last year, but this year I will not let you guilt me about being scary.”
“I already got my scary in last year,” Caitlin shuddered, smoothing out the blue gingham material of her dress. “I thought I was going to have to walk around with white hair until it grew out. Plus, I can bring Schrodinger with me.”
“You can’t bring animals to the museum,” Gideon told her. “Sorry, Caitlin. I already told Felicity she couldn’t put him in the dragon costume.”
Caitlin’s face fell. Schrodinger batted a paw at the basket next to Caitlin as Felicity patted her shoulder. “Dorothy had a dog anyways, not a cat. And he was all black, not black and white.”
“Well, this Dorothy will have a cat until she has to leave,” Caitlin cooed, lifting the cat up to place in her basket. “How long until Rip and Jonas come over?”
A knock on the door answered her question, and Gideon got up to answer it. “Come in.”
“Hi, Gideon,” Jonas chirped as he bounded in wearing red and gold plastic armor, followed by Rip wearing a suit.
“Hey, Iron Man,” Gideon smiled down at him as Jonas lifted the mask. “I’m glad you could make it.”
“Yeah. Oh, and thanks for letting us come to the museum tonight!”
Rip smiled. “He’s excited. It’s all he’s talked about this week.”
“Well, everyone’s happy to be putting it on,” Gideon replied. “And what are you supposed to be?”
“The secret agent accompanying Iron Man,” Rip told her. “How about you? And what did you do to your eyes?”
“A Synth, and they’re just contacts.”
“She went on a binge watch of Humans a while ago,” Felicity told him.
“It was a rewatch, Felicity.”
“I haven’t watched that in a while,” Rip remarked.
“Well, I bet Gideon wouldn’t mind watching it with you-hey!” Cisco winced as Caitlin stood up and stepped on his foot.
“And the rest of you…” Rip looked at the other occupants of the apartment. “Dorothy, Marty McFly, the one lady with the dragons, and…Medusa.”
“Daenerys Targaryen,” Felicity corrected as she stood up. “Are we ready to head out? Ray and Oliver are going to be meeting us there.”
“Great,” Caitlin let Schrodinger out of the basket. “We’ll be home too, kitty.”
Schrodinger meowed and made a beeline for Felicity’s room as the girls, Cisco, Rip, and Jonas left the apartment. The museum Gideon worked at was having a Halloween event on the weekend open to the public. Gideon had to work a few shifts and managed to talk the others into going. There would be kids’ activities for Jonas to do and things that would keep the adults interested. Plus, the entry fees were going to help fund a new exhibit angled around STEM for kids, so it would be worth it.
On the way down in the elevator, they stopped at the floor beneath theirs. The doors opened to reveal a mother and her son, who was dressed as Spider-Man. He looked nervously at Gideon but let out a scream when he saw Lily’s snake-filled hair and makeup. The mother pushed him behind her back, sending a murderous look at Lily. Felicity quickly shot out her hand and pressed the button to close the doors.
“Well, you’re definitely scary,” Cisco remarked to her as they kept going down.
“Thanks,” Lily nodded slowly, but looked less happy than she had a moment before the doors had opened.
~
When they all arrived at the museum, Ray and Oliver were waiting outside the front entrance for them. Ray was wearing a sort of toga, a necklace of shells, and had a trident in his hand. Felicity smiled happily when she saw Lily relax, glad that she had told Ray about her costume a few days ago and suggested he find away to coordinate. Then her eyes turned to her boyfriend, who was dressed in a suit and bow tie. He looked extremely dapper and more like he was going to the red carpet than a museum event.
Felicity lifted the hem of her dress a little to hurry up the last set of stairs to him. “Hey, you.”
“Hey,” Oliver grinned and kissed her. “You look amazing, Mother of Dragons.”
Felicity smiled, glad the plush dragon she’d attached to her shoulder was staying in place. “Thanks. You do too as…”
“Bond, James Bond,” Oliver replied in a British accent. “Thanks for inviting me.”
“No problem. You’re part of the friend circle now that you’re dating me.”
“Hey, Oliver,” Cisco waved from beside Caitlin. “Nice to see you again.”
“Indeed,” Gideon nodded as they all walked together inside. “I have to go and work the trivia booth, but I’ll try to meet up with the rest of you later. Have fun, guys.”
She took off in another direction as the group admired the museum. All of them had been in there at least once before, but not during Halloween. Huge spiderwebs were strung up in the corners and high up in pillars. Orange pumpkin-shaped lights were positioned all over. A fog machine was spilling out smoke that created a spooky vibe in the place. It was spooky, but not spooky enough to scare any of the little kids too badly.
“Wow,” Ray exhaled as they all took maps of the booths offered for the Halloween event. “This is awesome.”
“Daddy, look! I can put a skeleton together!”
With that, Jonas was running off with Rip on his heels. Cisco slipped off towards a table about the history of Halloween films while Caitlin headed to the bathroom. Ray and Lily ended up following Rip, curious to get a good look of what else the event had to offer. Felicity and Oliver were the last two left, both still unsure of where to go first.
“Want to just walk around and see what’s fun?” she asked him after they’d been standing there for a few moments.
“Sure,” Oliver smiled down at her as they started walking. “This is a lot different from last year’s Halloween.”
“Well, we are still having a party for Cisco after work on his birthday,” Felicity told him. “And you’re welcome to come along. After all, you’re officially part of the friend group.”
“And to think last year I’d only met you a few times,” Oliver said.
“Now we’re dating,” Felicity stepped around a boy wearing a horse head. “Did you expect that when we first met when I came into Verdant to get Caitlin’s earrings back?”
“I wasn’t sure I’d see you again,” Oliver admitted. “Caitlin was already pretty mortified by the time Rip brought her home. I figured she’d never go back again and you’d stick with her on that.”
Felicity chuckled. “That was a bad night for them. They decided to take all those years they didn’t party in college and put it as much of it into that night. Caitlin wanted to distract Lily from ever finding out I had been set up on a date with Ray, which neither of us really wanted to go on but coworkers happened.”
Oliver looked relieved. “Well, if it wasn’t for her, then I would never have met and fallen in love with my girlfriend.”
She stopped in front of a station with a dartboard covered in balloons. Felicity had to replay the conversation over in her head twice. She and Oliver had been going out for a while, but he hadn’t used the ‘l’ word yet. For a while, Felicity knew she loved Oliver, but she wasn’t sure he was ready to hear it.
“Did you just say you loved me?” she asked as they each picked up three darts handed to them by the lady working the booth.
“I did.” He threw one of the darts at the board. A balloon in the dead center of the board popped.
“You love me?”
Another dart popped the balloon next to the first. “I do.”
Felicity smiled. “I love you too, Oliver.”
Oliver’s final dart hit a third balloon right below the second. Felicity set her darts down and kissed him as long as she could.
“Happy Halloween, Oliver.”
“Happy Halloween, Felicity.”
~
Nate was smirking at her again, and Gideon had finally had it. “What’s so funny?”
“You seem eager to get out of this,” he told her.
“No, I’m not,” she denied as she passed the pint-sized Peter Pan his prize for completing the trivia game she was monitoring. “I’m just seeing how much time I’ve been here for.”
“Uh huh,” Nate nodded. “Gideon, I know that look. You want to go see someone.”
Gideon flashed him a glare. “That’s preposterous, Nathaniel.”
“Now you’re getting extra British. Definitely a sign that you brought a date.”
“You all are so certain that I’m British,” she said in an Australian accent. “And it’s not a date. I just came here with my friends and my neighbor and his kid.”
“That kid who you once brought in because you were watching him and his dad was busy, right? Not a lot of people would do that. Is he the one you like?”
Gideon didn’t say anything.
“It is, isn’t it?” Nate sounded overjoyed. “Aw, Gideon, that’s great. Look, how about you take off early? You’ve only got three more minutes anyway. That’s nothing.”
“No, Nathaniel, it’s fine,” Gideon tried to assure him. “You don’t-”
“Nope,” Nate shook his head. “You work hard enough the rest of the year. Now go have some Halloween fun. I can finish up the shift. Go find that guy, Gideon.”
As annoying as Nate could be, he could have his moments of pure kindness. Gideon grinned at him and walked out from behind the trivia booth. “Thank you, Nathaniel. I’ll see you later.”
It took a little while to track down Rip in the throng of parents and children in the museum. She ran into Oliver and Felicity, thankful she wasn’t interrupting a moment, and managed to find out where Rip and Jonas had last been seen. Finally, she found them in the main atrium of the museum where Jonas was being unwrapped from toilet paper by a little Moana under the watchful eye of Rip and one of Gideon’s coworkers. Ray and Lily were nearby, chatting away about plans for Cisco’s birthday party in a few days.
Rip was the first one to notice her. “Gideon, you’re off work?”
“Three minutes early,” Gideon shrugged. “Nate convinced me to take off early to enjoy some time with the people I brought here.”
Lily overheard that and winked at her. Gideon decided to ignore her as Jonas came over, now free of toilet paper.
“Gideon, you’re back!” he cheered, hugging her legs. “We didn’t get to see your booth.”
“Well, I’m sure your dad will still take you to the trivia booth,” Gideon told him. “I’m glad to see that you’re having fun here.”
“It’s all fantastic,” Rip told her. “You’ve helped create something for the people who live in the city and are promoting the museum at the same time.”
Gideon grinned. Ever since the custody battle over Jonas had ended, both father and son had seemed much happier. “I’ll have to tell everyone else that. This has been such a success that I’m hoping we have a repeat next year.”
Over to the Latin America wing, there was a stand with colored lighting shining up at the ceiling and a DJ working music. A few adults were dancing together in the space of the atrium. There were also some other children dancing or weaving through the adults. Gideon found herself starting to sway back and forth to the music a little. She didn’t notice Rip start smiling at her.
“Daddy?” Jonas asked. “Are you going to dance with Gideon?”
Gideon jolted in place a little as Rip looked down at his son. “Jonas?”
“Gideon’s dancing alone,” Jonas pointed out. “I’m too short to dance with her. She’s closer to your height than mine.”
“Well, you might be her height in a few years,” Rip teased.
Gideon rolled her eyes. “Yes, I know I’m short. But that just means I’m more down to earth.”
Lily laughed while Ray cracked a big smile. “Hey, you two can go dance for a little while. We can watch Jonas for you.”
Rip looked over at Gideon. “Well, if Gideon wants to…”
“I mean, if you want to.”
“Oh, just go,” Lily scooted Gideon closer to Rip. “At least for one song.”
Rip looked over at Gideon and extended a hand. She smiled and took it, letting him lead the both of them out to the middle of atrium.
“I haven’t done a lot of dancing before,” Gideon told him. The last time she’d ever done this was a ballroom dance class offered in college, which had been miserable with a six-foot three partner who had two left feet.
“It’s been a while for me,” Rip admitted. “But I can still remember the steps enough. Just follow my lead.”
“Yes, sir, Agent Hunter,” Gideon smirked as she mirrored him.
Rip shook his head. “Last year, it was Captain Hunter. This year, it’s Agent Hunter. Are you going to have a title for me very Halloween, Gideon?”
“Perhaps,” Gideon shrugged before he spun her around. “It all depends on what you’re wearing next year.”
She was going to have to find a way to thank Jonas for this. If he ever wanted a birthday party here, she could pull the strings to make it happen.
~
“Daddy and Gideon are good at dancing,” Jonas said when he looked up from the pumpkin he was painting. “Maybe he can teach me how to dance.”
“I’m sure he could,” Lily said. “And Cisco knows some really good dance moves too. You’d be the hit of the party with them.”
“Yeah, I want to know how to dance with Sara,” Jonas sighed.
“Sara Lance?” Ray frowned, twirling his foam trident. “I think she’s a little old for you, buddy.”
“No, Sara Diggle,” Jonas smiled before picking up another paintbrush. “We can’t go to school dances until middle school, but when we get there, I want to ask her to a dance. Sara’s the fastest girl in my class. She’s really smart and funny and she sits next to me at lunch.”
Lily put her hands over her heart. “That’s so sweet, Jonas! She sounds really great.”
“Thanks, Lily!”
Ray smiled at her before a round of shrieks came from behind them. She and Lily whirled around to see a cluster of children shielding their eyes.
“It’s Medusa!” a princess cried out. “Don’t look at her!”
“You’ll turn to stone!” an astronaut added.
“Run away!”
The kids took off in another direction. Lily’s shoulders sunk down and she stared at her sandals. This costume has been a horrible idea. All night long, kids had been covering their eyes to avoid looking at her and running off screaming. She’d had at least three mothers approach her and tell her off for choosing such a horrible costume. It had brought her spirit down quite a bit.
“Don’t listen to them, Lily,” Ray told her. “It’s not like you’re actually Medusa.”
“I might as well be with the way I’m scaring all the children,” she sighed. “I just wanted to do something scary for once, and I went too far. I’m terrifying people.”
Ray shook his head. “You haven’t terrified me.”
“Well, you actually know me, Ray. But even the rest of the girls were freaked out at first.”
“That didn’t change how they thought of you though. They still see you as Lily, their brilliant and creative roommate.”
Lily’s lips turned upwards a little bit. “Thanks, Ray. And despite all the crappy things Poseidon did in Greek mythology, I’m glad we’re kind of a matching set again.”
“Yeah, about that…” Ray scratched the back of his head. “This is the first time I purposefully coordinated with you.”
“What?”
“Felicity talked with me a few days ago and might have told me who you were going as. She also decided to mention that I try to find a way to match with you in the event of your costume not getting well received.”
“Okay,” Lily nodded. “So this is the one year you matched with me and meant to do it? Every other year-”
“Pure serendipity,” Ray told her. “But I’ve always been happy to come over and see that we coordinated with each other somehow.”
“Same,” Lily looked back at Rip and Gideon dancing. “They look happy out there.”
“Yeah,” Ray murmured, following her gaze. “They really do.”
Lily straightened back up. “So, have you gotten Cisco’s present finished yet?”
“Almost. Can you meet me tomorrow at Palmer Tech to help work out the last few bugs?”
“Absolutely. And I’ll bring Jitters.”
~
Caitlin had lost track of Cisco for a while after they arrived at the museum. All of them in their group had splintered off at various points during the night. However, she’d spotted Felicity and Oliver sticking close together for most of the night. Not to mention that she’d caught Rip and Gideon dancing together while Lily and Ray kept an eye on Jonas. Only now did Caitlin realize she hadn’t seen Cisco in a while and began to look for him.
It took some time before Caitlin was finally able to pick out his orange puffy vest on the second floor. She made her way over to him and leaned on the banister beside him. For a while, they watched the crowd below, picking out Rip dancing with Gideon.
“Everything okay?” she asked as Cisco turned towards her.
He nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. You?”
“I’m great,” Caitlin smiled. “I lost track of you for a while.”
“We all branched off. Don’t worry about it.”
He might have been fine about everyone separating over the course off the night, but there was still something wrong with Cisco. Caitlin knew all too well about hiding things that were bothering her. It had started after her father died and peaked when she was with Hunter. Right now, Cisco needed to know that she was someone he could trust with whatever was bothering him, and that she would take the appropriate steps to deal with the information. That was what Lily had told her that night when Caitlin hadn’t been able to get on her jacket soon enough.
“Something’s bothering you,” she said. “Cisco, you can tell me anything, no matter what. You know that, right?”
“Yeah,” he sighed. “But it’s going to sound really stupid.”
“Then we’ll go somewhere private,” Caitlin told him, taking him by the hand and leading him around the corner where no guests were milling about.
“You can’t tell anyone about this.”
“I swear not to,” Caitlin vowed. “Now, what’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing wrong,” Cisco explained, pushing his hair back. “You know that puzzle box that I got from the renaissance faire a while ago?”
“You got as a stress relief thing,” Caitlin smiled at the memory.
He nodded. “It’s been sitting next to the television lately with the Stargate model lately. A few days ago, I got home from work and decided to mess around with the box while waiting for Barry to come home. So I decided to solve it and then put it back together. But when I finished the last step to open it, a ring fell out.”
Caitlin’s jaw dropped. “Like an engagement ring?”
“Exactly. And then I remembered that Barry was fiddling with it the other day. Only one of us is dating someone seriously right now, and based on the evidence, it can only mean one thing.”
“Barry’s going to propose to Iris soon,” Caitlin smiled happily. “Good for him.”
“Yeah,” Cisco agreed, but he still looked sad. “I’m happy for him. Except it means that I’m going to lose a roommate and I’ll be on my own. Which is fine, I can make rent and everything. But I always hoped I’d have found someone like that by now.”
“Oh, Cisco,” Caitlin put her arm around his shoulder and hugged him sideways for a moment. “You’ll find someone.”
“What if I don’t? Look down there! Felicity’s found Oliver. Sooner or later, Gideon and Lily will realize they’ve met their soulmates. And me? I don’t know if I’ll ever find someone like that.”
“I know you will.”
“And if I don’t.”
“Well, I think you will,” Caitlin twisted a braid. “Tell you what, if ten years pass and both of us are still single, how about you and I give it a shot?”
Cisco looked at her. “Are you for real?”
Caitlin nodded. “You’re not the only single person in doubt they’ll find love. Besides, ten years is plenty of time to still have hope for both of us.”
“Yeah,” Cisco chuckled. “I mean, ten years. Oliver and Felicity will definitely have tied the knot by then.”
“Not to mention Ray and Lily.”
“And of course, Rip and Gideon. Leaving us.”
“Yup,” Caitlin nodded. “But if we don’t find anyone else, if in ten years we don’t find our soulmates, then I’d be happy to spend my life with you.”
Cisco’s smile spread slowly across his face and gave Caitlin a warm feeling. “I would too. Shall we shake on it?”
Caitlin pulled her arm off his shoulder so she could shake his hand. “Ten years.”
“Ten years,” he repeated. “Thanks for listening to me, Caitlin.”
“You’re my friend, Cisco. I’m always going to be there for you.”
Cisco shrugged his shoulders, as if pushing off the weight of knowing his roommate would be moving out soon. “Want to go rejoin the crowd? There’s a contest to see how many lollipops are in a jar that I think I might be able to win.”
“Not if I win it,” Caitlin teased as they walked back to the festivities. “But if I do, then I promise to share.”
~
Half an hour later, the nine were making their way out of the museum. Oliver had his arm around Felicity’s shoulder as she asked where he’d gotten so good at darts. Ray was twirling his trident as Lily walked next to him and set a reminder on her phone to meet Ray to finish Cisco’s gift. Rip was staying back with Jonas, the little boy tired from all the fun he’d had tonight. Gideon stuck with them, talking to Jonas to make sure he remained awake. Cisco and Caitlin each had a lollipop in their mouth, ones that Jonas had given them after winning the lollipop contest.
“So is the museum going to do this next year?” Ray asked Gideon as they approached their cars.
Gideon shrugged. “I don’t know yet. Maybe we’ll go next year if things work out.”
“I wouldn’t mind going back,” Felicity told her. “It was a good night.”
“Yeah,” Caitlin agreed as she looked over at Cisco. “It really was.”
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Some of the DA Inquisition Crew discuss Assassin’s Creed
(Modern-ish AU. Just something that came out of my brain while both Fandoms were knocking around in there at the same time. Enjoy!)
Aurora threw back the last of her rum and coke and lurched forward over the table. “I just don’t get the whole Connor thing. I mean, apparently so many of those ‘confessions’ are about him pinning them to a tree, but I just don’t see the appeal. I mean, he’s an idiot. He spends the whole game fighting Western Progress only for it to steamroll his own tribe anyway. He strives for freedom - kills the entire Templar chapter to do it - but completely overlooks the fact that freedom does not equal security. And his people pay for it.” She looked desperately up and down the table for support. “Tell me I’m not the only one who sees that. Please.”
Dorian took a sip of his mojito, shamelessly toying with the little umbrella under his pinky, “It’s not that we don’t see it, my dear. It’s that that isn’t the point.”
The woman across from him slammed the heel of her cup onto the table, demanding, “Then what is the point, then?!”
“The point,” he stated, extending his pinky finger in her direction, “is those broad shoulders and that Native American motif.” His hand swayed just slightly atop his resting elbow, evidence of the previous three drinks he’d imbibed in rapid succession.
“It’s not a motif; it’s his culture!”
A dismissive gesture from the Vint. “When it comes to kinks, the difference is negligible.”
“No, it’s not!” Aurora yelled, slamming her cup down a second time. She was far too worked up about this topic for a Friday night.
Blackwall avoided eye-contact, strategically excusing himself to get another drink. Which gave The Iron Bull a few seconds to lean in and ask, “So you want me to wear some war-paint next time?”
Down the table, Sera blew a massive raspberry at the debate. “Ass-in-creed don’t have near enough of the right ass. Needs more tits.”
“It has tits, darling,” Dorian pointed out. “Did you even play Ezio’s first game?”
“Not tha’ rite tits! I mean ass’kickin’ tits. Evie tits! I want ta’ see Evie’s tits!” More than a few heads turned in the direction of Sera’s shrieking. Not all of them at the group’s actual table.
Dorian took a breath...and found his original thought veering off on faulty evidence. “Alright, I’ll give you that. Not nearly enough female protagonists for the series. But that’s the fault of the medium at large. You can hardly single out the Creed as the ur-example.” His hand shot up to cut off Aurora’s tirade before it could start. If he let her start off on Feminist representation or equal opportunity depictions, they would be here all night. “We’re getting off topic. This is not about fatal character flaws. This is about white-hot-sex-appeal. Which of these darling creatures you feel compelled to seize by their sculpted packages and posteriors, and have your way with.”
Another violent raspberry from down the table, as Sera slid down off the front of her seat, landing somewhere at their feet. They’d need to remember to pick her up later before they left.
“And you think character flaws don’t factor into that?” Aurora demanded. She made to take another drag from her glass - only to find it empty. Right; that had happened. “Varric, help me out here,” she pleaded. He was their resident author. This was practically his job.
“Sorry, Bright Eyes. I don’t do Sci-Fi.” Apparently not.
“It’s not Sci-Fi!”
The man cocked a well-practiced eyebrow at her. “A machine allowed people to explore memories stored in their DNA, which reveals the existence of ancient, highly advanced beings who created humans and whose remnants gave rise to biblical depictions of god and miracles, which actually turn out to be technological artifacts that survived the disaster that wiped out the race in the first place.” He snorted softly. “Yeah, that’s Sci-Fi.”
Aurora scowled at him, “Traitor.”
Blackwall reappeared with drinks in hand: two beers - the one for Bull in a pint-sized glass -, and another rum and coke. Which Dorian snatched up before Aurora could get her hands on it.
“Dorian!”
“Ah-ah,” he teased, holding it above his head and well out of her reach. “I’ll have your prefered Assassin ass, and I’ll have it now.”
“You’re an ass!” she yelled, climbing half onto the table after her drink. Dorian only leaned further back, grinning like a jackal.
“And a fine one. But that doesn’t answer my question.”
“Dorian.”
“Spill it.”
“Give! It!” She flailed forward, and the kick he was getting out of this was obvious.
“Ass! Whose!”
“Shay Cormac!” Dorian gave a faux gasp of shock, but with enough dramatic zeel that his companion managed to snatch her drink from his hand, splashing soda and rum on his cuff in the process.
“Well, well, well,” Dorian schmoozed, shaking off what drops he could. “A Templar? You naughty girl.”
“Shut up!” He wasn’t even phased by the accompanying death glare.
“Now Haytham I could understand. I always suspected you might have a ‘daddy’ kink-” He narrowly avoided the spray as Aurora choked on her drink and continued on, undeterred. “-But a traitor?” He tutted, gazing off at a far wall while smoothing out his mustache. “I’m not sure we can remain friends. Disparaging Connor and fantasizing after a turn-coat. Your allegiance is clear as day. Am I to suspect a dagger in the back? Are you hiding a red cross somewhere on your person?”
Aurora clutched her drink with both hands and wailed plaintively, “He’s hot!”
And there it was.
Dorian practically squealed - how did he make even that seem suave? - and surged up onto the table, leaning heavily on his elbows, all up in Aurora’s personal space and absolutely latching onto her admission. “So there is some sexual desire buried under all that character analysis mumbo-jumbo.”
Aurora cast around. “Varric?” she whined, pleading for some kind of support.
He snickered, “Did you notice she said ‘Shay Cormac’. Not just ‘Shay’.”
“Oo!” Dorian’s glee surmounted itself. “First and last name on an impulse declaration. There is something here.”
Aurora shot a glare at Varric before zeroing it in on Dorian. “You’re a menace.”
“Ah-ah. Back on track. Shay. Hot. Explain.” This man was not going to be deterred.
And with no visible means of avoidance, “Well, he’s a good man.” When Dorian’s eyes rolled into the back of his head, she redoubled, “That’s important! He’s principled. Honorable.”
“Aurora, darling, honorable assassins make up over half the cast -”
“But how many of the Assassins put their morals above the Order?”
Dorian gave her a long, level look, followed by an elegant cocking of eyebrow.
Aurora’s brain caught up with her statement and she flapped her hand around dismissively, “Okay, okay. Evie and Jacob and Arno do, fine. But the Fryes go behind the Council’s back and go to London, and Arno pursues missions getting clearance first. But those are both still within the Order. And, yeah, Arno gets kicked out. But the Fryes don’t receive any negative repercussions within the Order for going off on their own. At least not that we see. Shay straight up turns his back on the Order when they’re methods go against his own moral code. With full knowledge of what he’s doing. He knows it will turn the Order completely against him. And he does it anyway. Because it’s what he believes is right. Even if it means betraying the organization he’s been apart of and loyal to for years.”
Her best friend blinked at her from across the table. He gave his head a sharp shake. “I’m sorry. I don’t believe I heard the world ‘hot’ even once during that whole monologue.”
“Dorian!”
He threw his arms out, dramatically, “Is it really so hard to discuss attractive physical attributes of fictional characters in public? Truly?”
Aurora jabbed a finger at him. “The character of a character is what makes them attractive.”
“But give me something!” Dorian pleaded. “Some indication that my best friend has a sex drive!”
She rolled her eyes, but acquiesced. “Fine. His haircut.”
Dorian’s head cocked like a confused dog. “Scruffy? Maker, I think that’s worse than the ‘daddy’ kink.”
“Post-Lisbon,” she clarified sharply, at last lifting her glass to her lips. “After his make-over.”
Dorian got a wistful look, completely with a dreamy ‘into the distance’ gaze. “Ah yes, that’s more like it. Proof-positive a good haircut can take you from ‘meh’ to ‘fuck me, please’. And those shoulders!”
Aurora swallowed a mouthful quickly to agree, “Oh yeah. That coat does wonders for his physique. He’s all sharp angles and broad. And that accent…” Aurora let a pleasant shudder run visibly up her spine for effect, making most of those still listening laugh.
Bull took a swig from his own mug, getting a gleam in his eye. “So you like the moral pillar, tall with broad shoulders, a smooth accent, good hair and a choice coat.” His grin broadened and he didn’t even bother hiding it. “Add some survivor’s guilt, and a military history with the organization he dumps on principle, and I’d say we’ve found your type, Boss.”
This time it was Aurora cocking her head in confusion. That was a little on the nose for Shay’s ‘type’. “I guess.”
Then The Iron Bull’s eyes ticked up over her head, the gleam in his eye turning at once innocent and diabolical. “Hey, Cullen.”
Aurora swiveled around to see the man take the last few steps to reach them. “I hope I’m not interrupting.”
“No, no,” Dorian assured him. “Just discussing our sexual preferences as applied to the cast of a fictional setting based around assassination.
Cullen froze halfway down onto Sera’s former seat, looking like a deer in the headlamps. Aurora grabbed a handful of his fur collar and gave him a good tug. “We can change the subject.” The relief on his face was near-comical. “Watch your feet. Sera’s still under there.”
He had a couple minutes to arrange himself while Bull made the next run for drinks, getting one for Cullen and refilling his own mug. Aurora settled comfortably in place. Sera’s seat stayed where it was. But with Cullen having a wider frame than her, that meant Aurora and Cullen sat close enough together their shoulders brushed occasionally when they shifted. She made a point to pick a position and get comfortable. Which was, in fact, quite easy with the given company.
Dorian gave them about fifteen seconds of said comfort. Long enough for Cullen to take a drink from his cup before the other man picked things back up with, “I can’t remember: did we actually establish you have a ‘daddy’ kink, or not?”
Cullen sent a spray of beer across the table and proceeded to start choking. Aurora pounded on his back while yelling across the table at Dorian, who had burst out laughing alongside The Iron Bull. Even Blackwall had a hand curled over his mouth, trying desperately not to give his chuckle away. Sera kicked the underside of the table, demanding they ‘keep it down up there’ so she could sleep. And Varric scribbled hurriedly in his notebook with tears in his eyes, and the declaration that ‘You can’t make this shit up’.
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