#please dont hurt me its a joke | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fourdancingmoths · 6 months

Text

"Find yourself a corrupt pathetic man to call babygirl" no find yourself a corrupt pathetic woman to call babyboy too my god is feminism even real anymore

#/j this is a joke please dont hurt me #this post was originally going to be about alice daisy tonner but yknow now its for everybody everywhere

6 notes · View notes

sonknuxadow · 1 year

Text

new rule: people who arent sonic fans have to learn the basics of sonic lore and the characters relationships with eachother before they are allowed to say anything about sonic characters. especially if it is about sonic and tails

#this is a joke but the things im seeing people say about sonic and tails in the notes of those sibling polls are annoying me #''sonic and tails arent siblings!!'' ''dont let sonic and tails beat a pair of ACTUAL siblings guys''#''sonic and tails arent even related by blood !!!'' biting killing scratching maiming #they are CANONICALLY adopted siblings and this isnt a recent development either Please shut up #well im assuming a lot of the people being annoying just dont know anything about sonic #but some of them just seem to not think adopted siblings are real siblings which is even worse #people being annoying about sonic and tails isnt even a thing exclusive to this poll #the amount of times ive seen someone who knows nothing about sonic or has only watched like one singular sonic thing #make jokes about sonic and tails being in love. biting killing maiming scratching exploding #actually lets add ''or shadow'' to the end of this post the things ive seen non sonic fans say about shadow make my head hurt #also its kinda funny i feel like if the pokemon people werent saying sonic and tails arent siblings #then sonic fans wouldnt have been fighting so hard to get sonic and tails to win and it would have been a much more even number of votes #because sonic and tails were actually losing at first. then people started saying they arent real siblings and now look where we are

26 notes · View notes

silverislander · 5 months

Text

got through another church service :) (people wouldn't stop touching me without asking) (got guilt tripped abt not coming around anymore twice) (extremely aware i was being watched and judged the whole time) (everyone only seems to remember my brothers accomplishments) (they still fucking do gendered call and responses in 2023)

#but fuck it! i got through it #the guilt tripping doesnt work anymore anyway so i just kinda. roll w it #theyll be like 'wow its been such a Long Time... we miss you...' and then hit me with the boomer stare. jokes on you bc i just smile + nod #now were both staring at each other in silence and you made it awkward. who feels guilty now pamela #levi.txt #seriously tho im so fucking tense my shoulders hurt. i hate how everyone feels the right to fucking touch me at church so much #i KNOW you want to say hi and thats fine just PLEASE dont come up behind me and clap your hands on my shoulders #i will gladly shake your hand or whatever. you dont need to physically grab me we can be normal abt this i promise #unfortunately i have a really bad freeze response so i usually cant manage 'please dont do that' or 'stop' if startled #and the womens/mens call and responses? how are we still. doing that #idk i didnt expect them to be trans affirming all of a sudden or whatever ik theyre transphobic im just. ugh. bad surprise #and watching people try to 'subtly' look and see which lines im reading or why i sound Like That. it makes me feel like a zoo animal #i forget how much church is an anxiety trigger for me. fuck #glad its over. i only have to go on christmas eve and easter while im living at home and thats fair enough for me

2 notes · View notes

todayisafridaynight · 11 months

Note

LISTEN I KNOW HOW IT SOUNDS BUT I SWEAR HE WAS DISTINCT FROM RGGJO STILL 😭😭😭 HIS DESIGN WAS LOUD IN A DIFFERENT WAY 😭😭😭😭😭 though As A Whole it was probably the result of someone saying he should go full RGGJo in 8 several months prior to when I had the dream, so not wrong. But it would be fun to see a shift from "Nothing in life matters...😞" to "Nothing in life matters! 😎" would it not...

I've always thought Drink Link was meant to evoke Social Link? Because in Japan it was called #DRAMA. I was never the biggest fan because it's one of many "translations" in Y7 that are just changing something that was already in English and doesn't require cultural context to understand. Like IMO whether it's seen as an improvement or not, it's just not the localizers' job to "improve on" the original; let them be cringe and let them be free...

And also it gave ammunition to Persona fans who refuse to experience anything but P5 and decided to go "wow! it's just like P5!" at every little thing Y7 did from the VERY FIRST trailers onward (including BE AN RPG) And That Shit Got Old Fast </3 Sorry </3 But I do think this one's very much on purpose, localization-wise. So I forgive you :)

RANTING ASIDE. OR. SEGUEING INTO MORE RANTING. Literally like I don't even care if it's as part of the Kasugang or Kiryu's Geezer Squad... Give Jo five minutes with Tendo or hand him over to me so I can make sure he's enriched and well-nourished... these are my demands... that man is my everything......

Because it would be SO funny both ways. We don't know who all will be in each party, so either he's stuck with Adachi (Definitely A Character) (Affectionate) (Also Has Already Told Him He'd Rather Kill Him Than Send Him To Jail So. Awkward) or maybe with Kiryu's he'd have more people around his agw, But if not, The Inherent Comedy of two bitches called Jo and Joryu who have almost the same haircut 💀💀

Exactly though, nobody in the Arakawa Family is neurotypical and I FULLY believe Jo would be at his best when put into Situations, like Mine is. It's something I reeeally miss from RGGO because of the pre-finale scene with RGGJo and Mitsu having a drink at their favorite bar... they haven't been there in a while, and RGGJo doesn't wanna spoil the mood, so he's not hostile in the slightest... and when he gets up to leave he says he "forgot his wallet" and makes Mitsu foot the bill (ICONIC for completely different reasons depending on whether he's telling the truth or not)... whereas in Y7 I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THE ARAKAWAS HAVE A FAVORITE BAR

it could be funny- whiplash inducing, but that'd undoubtedly be why it'd be funny wouldn't it ♪(´▽｀) he could've been some sacred third thing- just more RGGJo influence injected in Y7Jo mayhaps..

anyhow it dont sound like you forgive me when you just got mad at persona players for makin comparisons and here ive gone and done such a thing LMAO（；´д｀）（；´д｀）in any case, i know how you feel about translations so i wont press the topic: if it aint broke etc etc, i understand how you feel so it's ok (❁´◡`❁;;)

double 'jo' def woulda been funny, if not has always been a small thing worth jokin bout that ive had in the back of my mind (though ive already said that: i have a broken record of a brain at this point, if not that it just points out how silly i find the idea) LMAO. i've always enjoyed antag-turned-party member anyhow, so it wouldve been fun to me regardless of what it brought ♪(´▽｀)

#long post #snap chats #i say unnecessary things a lot so its easy for me to say something upsetting oops (´▽｀;;;)#its a habit im trying to break- to speak concisely instead of without aim. though if im realistic im not sure i can do that #i can only ask please be patient with me for saying annoying things in the future (❁´◡`❁)#im sure it'll happen a lot by accident and has already happened (❁´◡`❁ ;; ) so ill make sure to remember whats most bothersome (❁´◡`❁)#before my organs shut down on me let me move on OWOWOW #i remember the bit in rggo where jo forgot his wallet i truly couldnt stop myself from sayin My Guy Cmon 😭 ☠️☠️#in the case of rggjo its fun to imagine his forgetfulness as ambiguous cause Truly Did He Mean To Forget Or 🤨#in the case of y7jo its harder to believe hed do it on purpose so in the case where he does its just ☠️☠️#bros Truly losin it.... his mind AND his wallet... i know ichi gon make a joke 😔#aside from that though maybe jo would benefit from having friends his age <- saying this as if he's in grade school ☠️☠️#in the case of the arakawas having a personal favorite bar tho... i couldnt say #ive already made an assessment of jo's sociability through his office so i wanna make a half-confident bet he doesnt like to get out much #lest it's required for Whatever Reason- but what about arakawa then ? much to consider..#i honestly couldnt wager what he'd prefer.. i dont know what atmosphere he'd like... he's too mysterious for me (´▽｀;;)#for some reason i can only ever imagine him drinking at home or at quaint restaurants...#idk cant explain it... thats just the vibe... very likely im wrong though..#my organs truly hurt now- i think i gave myself a headache by mistake so ill have to stop my pondering before i explode (´▽｀;;)

3 notes · View notes

semercury · 1 year

Text

Every time I have an awkward interaction I want to die.

#stuff sarah says #and every time we kiss i swear i could fly #jokes aside i really hate it #like can i not be in agony every time something is a little awkward?#all it was was me saying it was time for me to leave and waiting for an affirmative so i knew it was okay #like its not the end of the world but i feel like i can see it from here #anyway when i was like 13 i started hanging out with the friend group i was with through high school #bc one of the girls (the leader in the way friend groups often have them?) asked me to a sleepover bc she felt sorry for me #and she later like literally told me that #and idk ive been thinking about that a lot lately bc of the music ive been listening to bc im listening to it for the first time #but they all really liked the band back then and were pretty adamant that i wouldnt and idk it made me feel like i didn't belong #which like i guess i didnt in a way? and i never really belonged anywhere #but anyway like. can you really blame me for being afraid of social interaction and always thinking people will hate me #when most of my formative years were spent with people who either wanted to take advantage of me and thats why they liked me #or with people who felt sorry for me. i remember another friend group. this one more in elementary school. likr late. 6th grade.#saying i was like a lost puppy and that comparison still hurts so bad to this day #so just like i dont get what people would ever like about me so i have to act perfect to make up for it bc apparently im pretty undesirable #and this isnt me asking for compliments in fact please dont bc ill feel bad about it #i just like. please understand i am still unlearning a lot of this and some days are easier #and rn im emotional and want to cry or scratch my face off bc i felt awkward at work and i just have to live like this #sorry im weird in friendships. i mostly assume people dont actually want me around #bc the alternative is that they want to hurt me and at least tolerating me out of pity is neutral?#fuck idk

2 notes · View notes

yourfriendphoenix · 2 years

Text

Hey just another friendly reminder from me! Please do not turn IBS into a joke. I was bullied in high school for having IBS even though it's a serious condition that causes me to be unable to live a normal life. I am unable to take care of myself some days because it gets so bad.

#phoenix speaks #i had a flare up today and wanted to talk about how i am going to adopt the label of disabled #but i deleted what i said because i was worried someone would make fun of me since I see it literally everywhere #especially in the notes of those evilmario666 posts #please dont turn it into a joke its really hurtful :(

5 notes · View notes

thewickerking · 2 years

Text

OK SO. EPIC WIN! SOUND HAS CEASED!! its on and off and idk if ill hear it again tonight (please i hope not) but it is GONE i am COMFY in BED. my phone DIED but thats ok shes at 3$ now and plugged in so shes going up :)

#updates on my last posts tags: i dont like actually see spiders i just see movement out of the corner of my eye that isnt there and then my #brain always categorizes it as spiders and its nearly never spiders but it makes me rlly on edge and scared 4 no reason #itll just like be a little black blur out of focus (when theres genuinely nothing there other than like. my white sink or bathtub) and my #brain is like 'ah oh no spider' and my pulse quickens and i get scared and think its gonna kill me cause im sooo normal btw #i joke abt being scared of spiders n stuff but theres genuinely terrifying to me and have given me super bad panic attacls :#anyways.#erm abt the last thing abt Bad Sounds ik its probably a symptom of something but i havent heard of anything that sounds right except maybe #overstimulation but very rarely feel overstimulated im usually very understimulated and its not that theres too many sounds its just theres #one really bad one that sets me off like weird random things like snoring and certain dripping faucets and breathing and like. certain ways #people brush their hands together when they have something on them but they do it for too long and the sound is horrible but subtle #and also certain times people are tapping against fabric like. stuff that ppl overlook and u can barely hear but it drives me off the walls #like idk what common thread they have other than NORMAL EXISTING HUMAN SOUNDS but like. idk if pain is the right word to describe it but #its genuinely something physically pain adjacent like. tension. like when u pull a rubber band super far apart and it cant fucking #stay like that like cmon it hurts it needs to snap please let it out. but letting it out is like. erm. not good and if the sound doesnt end #after u let it out like it didnt do anything it just goes back. ough idk idk idk. i used to not tell anyone this stuff cause i mostly did l #it at night and i think ppl will say im exaggerating and faking cause they dont witness it and my mother doesnt do it i think so its not an #acceptable form of mental illness /s but like genuinely i dont feel like im allowed to mention it but whatever!!!#anyways this is rlly long if u read it. hi. i love u. i hope u have a good day/#night also hmu if u know what whatever this is called i wanna talk about it in therapy and i think my words dont feel professional enough #ik u shouldnt have to act professional in therapy bur erm. i feel like i need to in some ways its complicated #.ares

4 notes · View notes

bambles · 3 months

Text

warning for references to sexual abuse!!!! and UH metaphorical death i guess

im at the combination 'little death' as in orgasm and as in the sweet lil bitch that died on that couch i love you dude. theres no one id rather have come back wrong as/from.

#i dont talk very much about this ever but i do have a track record of giving up secrets to make jokes #not that this is exactly haha funny #its like (interesting) funny #highkey dont know how to tag this i just rlly dont want anyone to be hurt cause i remember when iwas like a goddamn fabrige egg #idk how to spell that #very delicate #tw sex abuse #tw sa implied #could the girl (me) give me back my memory though please #BUT NOT ALL OF IT . PLEASE

1 note · View note

toberlonetrombone · 9 months

Text

I love telling people I legitimately want to die and have since I was 11 bc they look terrified

#like buddy its okay im used to this dont worry #literally my coworker was like ah yeah do your dishes immediately and i was like bro i cannot #the thought of doing them immediately makes me want to shoot myself #and he was like well that could change and im like uhh probably not buddy its the anxiety depression combo #and him and the other coworker i was talking to was like uhh #and still they were like it could change and im like well considering i spent most of yesterday in bed actively wanting to die probably not #and one of them was like were you sick????#and i just laughed i was like no im just chronically depressed buddy ive been wanting to die since i was 11 in fact almost tried to #and they just stared at me 😂#i told them to not worry i wont actually do anything i have too many people i dont want to hurt so alas im stuck here #and one of them was like well stay for us to please #and the other one in character for him was just silent #and then i made a joke about meds and he was like wait youre doung all this unmedicated???#i said yeah and then we started joking about doing cocaine so ya know work conversations

0 notes

takasgf · 1 year

Text

oh he is so dreamy.... (*￣▽￣)ノ~~ ♪

#I adore my raccoon husband and i cant wait to be done with homework today so i can daydream about him #i have the biggest littlest crush on him and its embarassing #dont worry😁 taka is my number one forever so please dont take my posts as me not liking him anymore.#i find jokes about that very upsetting so please dont make them (hi mom!!!!)#she did it two times already because i havent been paying much attention to my plushie these days and it hurts hurts HURTS #LET ME EXPRESS MY LOVE HOWEVER I WANT. MY LOVE FOR ROCKY DOES NOT EXCLUDE MY LOVE FOR ISHI!!! especially since there are so many parallels-#-in between the two ships #ok rant done SOWWY😆😆😆#ratonel🦝🧡

1 note · View note

strawberri-syrup · 1 year

Text

mmmmmmm i am going to explode if one more person belittles the things im passionate about and makes fun of me for it

#does one of my friends do it as a joke?#yes #does it still genuinly upset me?#yep #love her but also please dont tell me u hate the things i care about #even if its a joke #like #that hurts #i need to tell her that #i will #soon #also i fucking hate how often i talk abt an extracurricular im passionate about #and one of my teammates says ew dont do that #like ????????#im sorry??????????????????????//#shut the fuck up??????????

0 notes

farewell-in-veil · 1 year

Text

need everypne who draws me when my horns got cut off to die immediately

#slash joke. or whatever #but its not enjoyable 2 see !! pls do not draw that....#makes me feel sick. that hurt and was awful and traumatizing please #i dont remember it well but i remember the affect it had on me #please please just. what if we didnt draw that

0 notes

pedge-page · 3 months

Text

Joel Dealing with Preggo Wife # 8- Drama Queen

Joel Miller x F!Reader

Can be read with others in series or alone

Warnings: allusions to sex, mostly fluff and comedy

- - - -

Its been a pretty quiet evening, and with you home, thats saying something. Joel's minding his business watching Tv when you come plopping down next to him on the couch. He doesn't acknowledge you.

So you scoot over and sigh heavily. Still No reaction from the male.

You feint a yawn and snuggle your head on his shoulder. He smiles a little, but doesn't look at you. You rub affectionately like a kitten.

Nothing.

Take the hint, you stupid hunk.

Your pretty manicured hand creeps on his thigh, stroking up and down senually with delicate fingertips.

He knows where this is going, but he won't entertain you. He coughs a little, bored, and continues scrolling channels. Wants to see how far you'll go to get what you want.

As if on cue, you persist. Wrapping your arm over his broad shoulders, hitching your knee awkwardly on his thigh despite the baby in your belly squirming at the uncomfortable angle. You playfully boop his nose, giggling like a flirt. He purses his lips, but nothing else.

You stare at his profile, that unique Joel Miller look of concentration. Handsome and stoic—that little shithead.

You're teasingly rubbing your fingers through his scruff, twisting gently as a massage.

You bring your lips and kiss him kindly on the cheek. Something sweet. Innocent. Then again, but a little longer. Then some more, peppered down his jaw, along his pulse. Heated and wetter. Growing more needy and nipping his ear, making little happy moans as your hand continues to wander over his legs, tip toeing to his crotch.

Joel sighs, finally looking at you. "There a reason you're trying to get me turned on, ma'am?"

"Mmm," you hum, biting your lip and staring his plump ones. You crawl closer, breasts smashed against his bicep as you lick your lips, tongue peaking out with lusty eyes trying to put him under your best charm. Yesyesyes give it to me, Fucker!

"I want a Big—" you kiss his nose "—Messy—" teeth nip at his lower lip "—Hot—" you peck him teasingly, sucking his flesh in your mouth so he knows you mean business. Then you stare down at him with your serious eyes, foreheads pressing,

"—Fudge Cookie Dough Chocolate Gooey Fantasy Milkshake with extra Rainbow Sprinkles from Clyde's Creamery."

Yeah. He knew exactly this is where this was going.

He cracks a warm smile, cupping your jaw and parting your lips with his thumb. You suck it into your mouth, hoping to please him. Just as hes about to kiss you, he leans in and says, "No. Its 11pm. Bedtime."

You get off his lap with a cold shoulder and a scoff, proceeding to ignore him for the rest of the night.

Hes evens surprised when you go to bed still silent, facing away from him without a kiss goodnight when you turn off your lamp.

Until it's 2am when he's startled awake by the sound of the the front door opening. He's storming downstairs trying not to trip, and haphazardly throwing a shirt on backwards while in his boxers, only to see you with a packed bag, hand dramatically caressing your bump with fake ass tears down your cheek going outside to the car.

"Where the FUCK are you going??" He asks, rubbing his eyes. Aggravation and rough exhaustion evident in his tone.

"You said you didn't love me, so I'm leaving," you huff. There's no hint of a joke in your words. Genuine pain. Hurt. Quiet and walking away. You dont wait to see his reaction and without another word, you turn to leave.

Hes so whiplashed, wracking his brain trying to remember any time he even remotely could have said something like that and you interpret it—

"I SAID YOU COULDN'T HAVE A HOT FUDGE COOKIE DOUGH CHOCOLATE GOOEY FANTASY MILKSHAKE because it was FUCKING 11PM AND CLOSED! Now get your fat beautiful ass and our baby back in here and dont ever pull this stupid stunt again!"

You scowl at him, preventing any physical reaction of your internal swooning he thinks my ass is pretty. You hold your ground and refuse to move from your position, defiant, in flip flops and a long nightgown on the front porch at 2am.

Joel furrows his brows and closes his eyes, soothing over the wrinkles you've caused to grow on his forehead. "Fuck. I'll get you one tomorrow morning for breakfast. Okay?"

You smile giddily and skip back inside "Okie!" You step past him drop your shit on the couch, kissing him on the cheek. "Dont forget the extra rainbow sprinkles."

He grunts, glad that it's dark enough in the house you can't see how exhausted and annoyed he is.

"Oh and close the door, Joel! You'll wake the neighbors with your unnecessary shouting bit. Dramatic much?" You scoff, and waddle up the stairs and right to bed like nothing happened.

-

Tommy also has access to your ring camera notifications and sees Joel and you out there and the whole conversation, and he's laughing so hard when he watches the playback. He teases grumpy exhausted Joel the next morning, conveniently with a to-go milkshake in his hand at 8am.

"Softy for your girl?"

"Shut up."

"And when you have the baby, then there's gonna be two of her!" Tommy wheezes.

Joel's saggy and wrinkled eyes manage to open wider than ever as that particular horror sets over him.

- - - -

Permanent Taglist

@harriedandharassed @lola8888673 @its-nebuleuse @zliteraturehoe @merz-8 @joeldjarin @pascalscoffin @pedroshotwifey @ghostslillady @innerpersonunknown @missladym1981 @mrs-oharaxx @survivingandenduring @milla-frenchy @cockykookiee @fairytale07 @daddy-din @pedropascalsbbg @spookyxsam @somehopeatlast @millercontracting @pedrostories @mishala005 @theoraekenslover @animez96

#pedro pascal smut #joel miller fan fiction #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #last of us fanfiction #last of us smut #joel miller fic #joel miller #joel miller fluff #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us fic #tlou fanfiction #tlou fic #tlou fluff #the last of us #last of us fic #joel dealing with preggo wife

696 notes · View notes

gogomatthew · 6 months

Note

Request: (Smut)

Hotch gives Spencer the lead on a new case. And when Y/N doesn’t do what Spencer said to do- well let’s say when they get home she gets punished.

Just you wait

SPENCER REID X FEM!READER

summary: being from a different department and working with your fiancé was always great except but things change when you don’t seem to obey his orders

warnings: choking • punishment • spanking • sub!dom dynamics • cursing • arguing • bj • PV •

a/n: english isn’t my first language so I apologize for any gramatical errors! I don’t really see Spencer as a dom tbh so this was a little difficult for me to write sorry if its not exactly what you wanted honestly it was rushed :/

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DNI!! 18+ SMUT AHEAD

“I dont feel great about this just so you know” Emily says as you both enter the DCPD. “You think I do? but we can’t prioritize feelings over case right now” Emily sighs as you squeeze the orange envelope filled with new pictures of the crime scene between your fingers subconsciously releasing your stress onto it with a deep breath.

You see a lanky figure make his way towards both of you with a glare of disbelief plastered on his face. “You went behind my back?” though his tone is angry theres hurt laced between his words. “Im sorry but we found new evidence that-” he cuts you off “I dont care right now! Im leading this case and I told everyone to stay away from the scene until further notice. You cant just ignore my authority!” his eyes switch back and forth between you and Emily

“I work for a different department” Emily just sighs and throws her hands up in surrender as she walk away past Spencer after realizing the conflict just got a little personal. Spencer runs his hands down his face in defeated frustration causing his words to come out slightly muffled “Am I joke to you? seriously am I? I know you work for a different department but you never seem to have a problem obeying Hotch..” his hands fall back to his sides as he grabs the envelope from you and storms off leaving you there with your thoughts.

For some cases your department sent you out as the traveling detective to help out the BAU and you never had a problem working along side your fiancé I mean this job is what brought you both together but having him as your acting boss was slightly different. Its not that you didn’t respect his authority you just didn’t understand his judgment at this moment. He knew how your job functioned and always did his best to help you with whatever you needed but right now he was stopping you from doing your job and you were worried about him but there were victims at risk.

Hypothetically he would’ve been fine if..

If Hotch wasn’t hovering

If the geographical range wasnt so large

If the building wasnt so loud

If the PD didn’t see him as joke

if it wasn’t dangerous for his agents to leave the building alone

ect,, there were too many thoughts taking over and none of them were good.

Thankfully the evidence you and Emily found was crucial to the investigation and even though he was still under immense stress you felt as if at least you took a little weight off Spencers shoulders although that didint mean he was pleased with your actions. He avoided you throughout the day even after the unsub was caught not even breaking the silence on the car ride home. Before you can even finish parking Spencer is stepping out of the car and entering your shared apartment before you.

You make your way inside not too long after him with tears of pent up frustration brimming your eyes and threatening to fall only for those thoughts to be forgotten as your head gently hits the wall. Spencer has you pinned by his large hand lightly squeezing your neck the way he knows you love as his other hand holds both of your wrists between his fingers. “what was that today? first you ignore my authority..” a squeeze to your neck as his raspy voice lingers closer to your slightly open mouth “and then you humiliate me?” another squeeze and the tears fall alongside a whimper “why’re you crying baby? you know I just wanna keep you safe and thats why I couldn’t let you go to the scene” his tone is genuine care mixed with condensation as he looks you up and down hungrily “but you just had to ignore me and im gonna have to make you learn your lesson” his grip on your throat loosens as his hand gently strokes your face wiping away your tears “m- sorry” you choke out as he ghosts his lips over yours, his hot breath makes your thighs clench.

“I know you are but its too late now” his grip on you loosens and he pushes you down harshly to your knees as he undoes his belt without a word. As he frees his cock from his boxers he gives it 2 slow strokes “open” he simply says and you obey, taking him into your mouth eagerly. What you cant fit into your mouth you pump with you hand causing his breath to hitch at the stimulation. Spencer strokes his finger through your hair before fisting it and thrusting his hips into your mouth. He’s vocal and hes not shy about it, his moans come out strained and loud as you feel his dick twitch on your tongue getting ready to have your throat welcome in his load despite your gagging until he pushes you away “d-dont wanna cum yet.. gonna make you beg for it first” he says out of breath as he lifts you off the ground and into the bedroom.

“take it off.. I want a show” with a gulp you start unbuttoning your blouse slowly trying not to seem to desperate and take your pants off as he eyes you lustfuly. You are completely nude to him as his shirt and boxers remain “come here” you walk over to him cautiously and he sits you down on his thigh resting his hands on your hips slowly rocking you back and forth causing a moan to drop from your parted lips. “mm” you start rocking yourself faster as he removes his touch from you depriving you “please” he fake pouts “please what? I need to hear it” a desperate cry leaves your mouth knowing you wont be able to cum just from his thigh “I need you” he chuckles “need what? my fingers?” his hand cups your dripping cunt teasing your entrance with his fingers “n-no your-” a whimper leaves your throat “your cock”

one last look at you and he’s flipping you over so hes caging your body under his own. He grabs his dick in his hand and pushes it into your entrance without warning or giving you time to adjust. His hand finds its way back to your throat making your sounds of pain and pleasure sound strained. His thrusts dont have a rhythm theyre just ruthless and fast. “hah- ah you crying? im just correcting your behavior” his cock brushes your g spot so good it makes you forget how to talk “you know that right baby?” now this is condescending but you cant find it in you to care right now, the pleasure taking over “say it.. say you deserve this” his hold on your throat releasing so he can hold onto the bed frame to go deeper against your sensitive spot “ahh say it” with a yelp you manage to push the words out “I-I deserve t-this” his thrust dont let up it just fuels him on even more “wasnt gonna let you c-cum tonight but I think id rather fuck you stupid ah- what’d you think about that?” he knows you’re already seconds away from your orgasm as your eyes start rolling to the back of your head and you cant provide any actual words. His free hand makes its way down to your clit desperate to make you his own little fuck toy. Your legs start shaking erratically and without a warning you cum all over spencers aching cock with him hot on your heels. You pant but before you have time to catch your breath you’re roughly flipped over onto your stomach as a rough slap lands on your ass

“im not done with you yet”

#spencer reid x reader #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid smut #dom spencer reid

501 notes · View notes

the-californicationist · 4 months

Text

The Simple Mistake (Ghoap)

Ghoap fluff, hurt/comfort (please be nice i dont write ghoap)

Johnny wasn’t often the smaller man. In most situations, he was the aggressor, or at least the larger of the pairing. But, he felt himself being lifted as if his body were mostly air. He was being carried like a sack of flour, hoisted over a huge, mountainous shoulder, and tossed into arms that cradled him with ease. The sergeant could feel the way his captor’s muscles bent and twisted, even under all his black gear, and although the gunfire and the flashbangs were deafening, he could hear the hollow, steady swell of the man’s breathing as it filled his wide chest.

“C’mon, Sergeant. Just a few minutes and you’ll be right as rain. Hold on,” the dark, muffled voice told him.

The man had been making these threats the whole time, promising him freedom and safety, telling him he’d be alright. Johnny didn’t much care either way, not anymore. Right now, all he wanted to feel was more of the same, more of these shoulders, more of this expansive back whose lats were pulled wide like spread wings. A great bird of prey, or a vulture come to claim its carrion.

Bullet wounds were always a fucking mess, that was for sure. Luckily, the pain of it was being covered by an immense layer of shock. Johnny could feel the symptoms; chills, loss of sensation, trembling… it was all there. But, he was thankfully lucid, so they may not have hit him in a vital spot. Because of the vest and all of his gear, he hadn’t been sure exactly which bullet had landed the blow, but he felt the punch of the projectiles in his leg and chest, so something was bleeding… that much was clear.

It wasn’t his symptoms that concerned him; it was the tone of his Lieutenant’s voice as he reassured him over and over and over again, killing Makarov’s men as he made his way out of the warehouse with a series of pistols that he procured from the piles of dead terrorists. Having to stop and murder more Konni operatives made their journey a slow one, and Johnny could tell Ghost was becoming more and more frustrated.

“Where are these fuckin’ bastards all comin’ from?” The strong English accent was a comfort to the Scot, as much as it was an annoyance.

He didn’t reply to the question, not even with a snarky jab, and he stayed as still as he could, trying to make it easy on his carrier.

“You alive, Sergeant?” The concern had increased by an octave.

“Solid,” Johnny managed to respond, but it was getting a little hard to breathe.

“Almost there, mate. Almost… there,” Ghost rushed into a heavy, lockdown facility and shut the door behind him.

There were three inches of steel between them and their enemies and absolutely no communication service. The silence of the safe room settled around the two men like a dark blanket, shielding them from the outside world. The light was dim, the floor was mostly sand, and there was a marked lack of furniture.

Johnny felt himself being gingerly laid down on a desk, all of its contents fiercely strewn on the floor of the room, and Ghost began to remove the sergeant’s gear.

“Jesus, LT,” Johnny panted, “Feels like you didnae even break a wee sweat, sir. I wanna be just like you when I grow up.”

The lieutenant was too focused for his jokes, his voice flat and cold, focused on ripping Johnny’s gear from him piece by piece,

“You’ll be better than me, Johnny.”

Johnny felt like he was being mauled by a bear. His body was jostled around like a ragdoll as Ghost pulled plate after plate from his chest. Eventually, his vest was ripped away, and then Johnny saw the glint of a huge knife. He barely had time to gasp when Ghost sliced up through his shirt and sleeves, yanking it off of his body, revealing his chest, sweaty and hairy, tanned in odd lines where his tank top and tee shirt had been. The sergeant chuckled a bit, nervous, smiling up at his commander,

“Maybe I already am, sir.”

Ghost didn’t reply. He was too focused on the task at hand. His eyes were wild, checking and rechecking Johnny’s body for the source of his blood. Finally, the sergeant was turned, lifted with ease from the desk, so that Ghost could inspect his leg.

“Trousers have to come off, Sergeant,” the lieutenant explained.

It was barely a warning. In one swift rip, Ghost shucked Johnny’s pants down to reveal… all of him.

Johnny wasn’t really one for underwear, but he was kicking himself for that habit today.

“LT! Christ!”

“You’re hit in the side of this leg. Need an XStat here. Deep breath.”

Johnny didn’t have time to breathe at all. The searing pain from the insertion of the wound-sealing device made his face twist into a wild grimace, and he shivered from the hot flash of agony.

“Fuuuuckkk…” Johnny moaned, writhing and fully naked on the shitty desk.

Ghost was on the ground, digging in his gear bag, and he produced a foil shock blanket. He unwrapped it, ripping through the packaging, and lay it over his sergeant, tucking it around him.

Johnny was shuddering, and his voice shook, but he tried to smile,

“Th-thanks, LT… Wish I had a wee bit more warmth, though. Cannae seem to stop shakin’.”

Ghost pulled off his gloves, and then, to his shock, Johnny watched as he removed his mask. He didn’t see Simon’s face often, but when he did, he tried not to stare. It was just a face, after all. There were no odd deformities, but it was as if some version of Zeus had just revealed himself through a swan or a bull; it was meant to be witnessed.

The lieutenant didn’t meet his eyes, but he scooped him up, his huge arms curled under his back and in the crook of his knees, and brought him down to the ground. Then, he just… held him there.

Johnny tried to remember the last time he had been held. A wee lass from high school, perhaps? But, she had not cradled him like a bairn. Perhaps it was his ma, when he drug his knee climbing through nettle at his uncle’s farm, burning up like the idiot he was, sniffling about the sting.

Now, here he was, a grown man, cradled again in the same way. The bulk of Simon was warm against him, but the gear dug into his naked flesh. Ghost could sense his discomfort and moved him aside for a moment, shrugging out of his vest, and replacing Johnny right back into his arms.

“Are you warm?” Simon asked quietly, a little under his breath.

“Aye, sir, thanks for tha’.”

“Are you in pain?” This question came out like a prayer, and it unsettled the younger man.

“Aye… but, it’s better now, sir.”

“Good. Help’s comin’. Sent Laswell a ping before we got locked in.”

Johnny chuckled, resting his head on Simon’s shoulder,

“She’ll find us in a right state.”

Simon shifted a bit, and there was a long pause before he muttered,

“I’m sorry, Sergeant. When they arrive, we can —”

“Haud yer wheesht,” Johnny interrupted him, pressing his forehead into Simon’s warm, bare neck, “It’s a fine state.”

“Aye.”

“Aye?” Johnny’s blood rushed through his veins, “So, you have taken a shine to me, then.”

“Aye,” Simon said, finally turning to meet Johnny’s eyes as he lay in his arms. He pressed his nose into Johnny’s space, close enough for a kiss but speaking to him instead,

“I’ve taken a bloody shine. It’s bright enough to keep me awake at night, and it’s blindin’ me now. Everything in me says that I should leave you alone. Your rank, your future… you rely on me. But, I can’t stop staring at the shine of you. So bright. All the time.”

Johnny’s arm crinkled through the foil blanket as he reached a hand up to touch the coarse shadow on Simon’s jaw, drawing those full lips into his, petting his cheek, tasting the cigarette smoke on his tongue. He moved against him, feeling Simon’s enormous strength respond in a generous outpouring of affection, like a statue once frozen now come to life. They sank into each other, melding together, melted like hot wax, fusing, tumbling until there was only the shine of love between them.

302 notes · View notes

chrolloluvr · 2 months

Note

May I request Mammon angst HCs please? Like the reader is possibly breaking up with him or something? (i love your HCs for mammon<3)

Mammon Breaking Up Hcs

note: Thank you i'm so glad you like them pookie!! also yes i love this idea ❤️❤️

warnings: Cursing, creepy behavior, unbalanced power dynamic, killing. Not proofread!

Female!Reader, (no specific gender, so can be GenderNeutral!Reader)

It would be best to tell him over text, since he is guaranteed to throw a toddler like temper tantrum if you ever told him in person.

So you text him over text, what happens? He 100% thinks you're joking at first. He thinks you aren't being serious at all, and that wow babe, you might even be a bigger clown than I am.

But when he realized that you were being serious, he gets angry. How dare you? Why would you ever break up with him? He is the king of greed, he has trillions of dollars in the bank, so why don't you want to stay by his side? Did he do something? Did he hurt you? What happened? Baby, we can sort this out-

In a way, still doesn't think you are being serious, which is what he tries to tell himself. So he will let you leave, and will act like he doesn't need you.

Another author said this already, but he will 100% go through the stages of grief, (he will never go through acceptance, because in his mind, you will always come crawling back to him.)

He will be in denial for a very long time. Let's say you move out, and even start residing in another ring. He will send you texts. All. The. Time.

Your phone will mods likely have 103 Missed Calls, 986 Messages, and 37 Voicemails. He is crazy, and especially crazy for you. So when you don't respond to him, he does not understand why. He likes to think that you were just going on vacation for a while. He genuinely thinks you two are still together.

Anger- Once he sees that you have indeed moved on, and that he is no longer living in fantasy land, he gets extremely angry. His general mood spikes, he lashes out (wayyy more than he used to), and a-lot of his servants are scared to talk to him. Will absolutely keep bombarding you with texts every day. He will even get his servants to start texting you on his 100's of extra HellPhones.

Mamm 🕸️💚 11:34

Come hone ygu little cungt

Mamm 🕸️💚 11:35

ANSWERF ME.

Mamm 🕸️💚 11:35

Do ygu knoe how easily i can replaece yu

Mamm🕸️💚 11:36

Fine go shack uo with sorm dirty hoboes you little slut

Mamm 🕸️💚 11:36

I dont kneed u and youir mediocar holes

So yeah... thats just one example. He has so many spelling mistakes because he is typing so fast, and practically brekaing his phone from how angry he is.

But in reality he does need you. You are. the one thing that keeps him running. However he will never, over his dead body, ever admit that.

Bargaining- He will send things to your... new home... in gift baskets. Fizzarolli plushies, flowers, tickets to his live events, expensive jewelry, the list goes on. It gets to a point where (if you live in an apartment complex) People start stealing his gifts and start putting them up online to sell. (And they go for 10s of thousands of dollars.)

He send these to you so that you can hopefully come crawling back into his life, so that he can control you again.

At this point, you have most likely made it public about your distance between you and the sin. Your relationship was extremely public, and known by everybody.

He refuses to speak publicly, because he wants people to think he still controls you. And when i say your relationship was big, it was definitely the most talked about relationship in all of Hell. People will go nuts about you two breaking up. Another author said this as well, but people will go crazy with the comments.

"L Mammon fumbled so bad its actually wild."

"Bros got plenty other options 💀"

"Why tf would she/they break up w/ HIM???🤰"

"Now that hes single I call dibs 🙌"

You try your best to ignore the comments, but eventually you cant, its not just online, but in real life you feel cornered as well. You might even start to reconsider your departure with him. Which is exactly where he wants you.

Depression- He spirals into somewhat of an insecure man. He strives to be better. He ups his game for his big pageants, soon to be bigger, just to impress you.

He maaaay or may not have killed people in your favor. This is known, obviously, but his obsession along with his newfound insecurity has left him no choice but to show that if you dont want to come home, he will show you its safer than anywhere else.

Overall, if you do end up coming back to him, he is overjoyed with happiness, and will take extra precautions to ensure you wont ever walk out on him and his warm embrace again.

However if you end up never wanting anything to do with him, he will be devastated, but he will force himself to get over it. He is Mammon, he truly does not need you. In reality, you were somebody he felt an unexplainable feeling to protect. He absolutely can live without you, but for some reason, he feels like he cant. If somebody were to ever bring you up, he would lash out, and make his anger everybody's problem. He may get over you after a while, but he will never fully accept the fact that you left him.

244 notes · View notes