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mqsi · 1 year

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This wasn’t in your sketches

part 1

welcome to my first longer story, I don’t know how many parts it will have but it’s safe to say I have the whole fic planned out. I’m going to work on requests between uploading this, don’t worry.that’s all, enjoy :)

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You woke up one morning with a call from your manager, informing you about a job opportunity you could only dream of. You always had passion for creating ,pulling together different supplies and materials, sketching stuff. That’s how you ended up applying for a Nike designing contest at 18 years old and actually winning it, earning yourself a job at Nike. You were put under your loving manager, Carla. She was in her 30s and had a very bubbly personality. But she could be too much at times. Like right now.

“Buen día beautiful, i assumed you were up so I called!” her voice echoed trough your phone. It was only 8am and you had a free day today.

“Yeah I’m up” you said without even opening you eyes.

“Awesome! You won’t believe what a deal I got for you. I’ve managed to get a famous footballer to model the new spring collection pieces that YOU will design!”

Your eyes snapped open and you jumped up in bed.

“How come? Why me? Isn’t there a lot of other, more experienced designers here?”

“Oh honey please, I wanted to make an opportunity for you. Plus Gavi is already a Nike athlete so his manager was happy to let him do this!”

“Gavi? Like Pablo Gavi?”

“We will have a first meeting with him tomorrow, so you can get to know him a bit and see what prefrences he has! Have a good day!” and she hung up. You were sitting in bed for another 15 minutes, just thinking about what just happened. Suddenly, your stomach started doing flips, what if you screw up?

Tomorrow came fast, you woke up, got ready and met up with Carla so you can go together. You were meeting up in your studio. As you entered the room behind Carla, Gavi was already there with his manager.

“Hello, I’m glad you two could make it today!” She yelled, greeting both men.

“Hi Carla, nice to finally meet you in person” Gavi’s manager said. Carla started chattering about the project before finishing with presenting you.

“I put her in charge of this project, cause she’s young and I wanna see her rise in this job. She has a lot of potential” she said, her arms pointing at your direction. You took a step forward and introduced yourself. Before you could say anything else, Carla inturrupted you once again.

“Okay! How about we grab some coffee in the cafeteria outside, while they finish everything up?” she said, grabbing Gavi’s manager by the arm and practically pulling him away.

“Are you sure? We should-“

“Oh of course I’m sure! You two will work great” she said,looking at you, before dragging the man outside. You let out a sigh before nervously turning to Gavi who sat in the chair, manspreading with his arms crossed against his chest. He was wearing a white hoodie and some black cargos.

“I’m sorry, she’s a handful” you said, trying to read Gavi’s expression.

“I can see that” he said, letting out a breathy laugh before making eye contact with you.

“Alright, let me just check the information I have” you said, opening some files on your computer so you can escape his intense gaze “I don’t have your measurements so-“

“How old are you?” Gavi cut you off.

With a confused look you turned your head around to look at him

“Why?”

“Cause you look younger than me”

“I just turned 19”

“How are you 19 and work as a main designer for Nike?” he said, making a face.

You put down some papers you were rummaging trough and faced him with your whole body, while leaning against the table.

“You’re 18 and cost 90 million, do you really want to talk about this?” you asked sarcastically.

“Do you only see me as a price tag?” he asked now obviously irritated by your statement.

“Me personally, no. But half of the football world does”

“What are you now, a football expert?” Gavi said, irritation more evident in every sentence he said. For the first time today you were glad Carla inturruped the conevrsation by opening the door slightly.

“Is everything okay?” she asked, smiling like usual.

You composed yourself and turned to her with a loving expression on your face.

“Yes, everything is perfect” you replied, relaxing your face as soon as she left.

Turning your attention back to Gavi who was looking at you with his signature frown.

“Can you get up so I can measure you?”

Without a word, he got up from his seat and you walked over to him. You knew he wasn’t tall but the fact that your faces were so close to each other made you swallow, before returning to the task. You instructed him to hold one end of the measuring tape as you bent down. While you were trying to read the number accurately, Gavi spoke up.

“Do you do this often?”

You looked up at him, confused.

“Excuse me?”

Gavi was looking down at you, trying to keep a straight face.

“Get on your knees for men you meet for the first time?”

There was a few seconds of you two just staring down at each other, before you stood up. Your faces were now even closer than before but you didn’t care. Gavi was looking straight at you, lips curving into a smirk.

“If my job wasn’t hanging on this, I would slap the shit out of you right now” you said in his face. Before he could say anything else, you finished what you were doing and turned around to write down the numbers.

“Anything else?” he asked.

You looked back at him for a second before leaving the studio. Yes, there was something else, there was a lot of things to discuss but you were not capable of doing that today, not after that comment. The golden boy will have to make time for an extra meeting. As you were about to cross the street to reach Carla, Gavi came rushing to you.

“Hey it was a joke. I thought you have a sense of humor like that, that’s all”

“I saw enough of your temper on the field to expect such behaviour but not like this” you replied.

“Well good thing this isn’t a football pitch and I don’t act like that in everyday situations”

You turned around to face him.

“In that case I also don’t forgive with a pat on the shoulder”. Gavi was trying to form a sentance but you stopped him “I’m a big coffee lover” you said before crossing the street.

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part 2

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quibbs126 · 10 months

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Heck I don’t actually remember if Pure Vanilla/Dark Cacao was a request or if it was something I just planned to do on my own. I know it started out as my own idea, but sometimes that happens and then before I get to doing it, someone requests it and I just make it a request, and I don’t remember if that happened here

But regardless, this was a drawing I made of the idea for a purecacao fankid on it’s own, and I’m posting it as such

Now you’ll notice that this isn’t my usual format. This is because this isn’t her official design, it’s just that last night, I had this idea for a design of her as a young child with Dark Cacaoian clothing, and so I just wanted to make a quick doodle to show you

It was just going to be that picture in the middle, as it’s more sketchy and rough, and clearly not how I usually do these fankid requests. However when I finished, I realized that I made her too small. See, if I may explain some things, for my poorly drawn comics and other things that use that particular brush (it’s the Narinder Pencil if you want to know), and I don’t like enlarging pictures drawn with it because the lines get all blurry and it loses its texture. Prior to the Charcoal Cheese comic, for my poorly drawn comics I tended to enlarge the sketch to fit the screen, and then I’d completely redraw the lines. But here, I had already colored the whole thing, plus it was multiple layers to redraw, so I didn’t want to. But I couldn’t just crop down the canvas to fit it because my square canvases are already 500x500 pixels, they’re very small (and also I think the small size might account for why they may not show up in the best quality, but I’ve been using this size for over 2 years and I’m set with it, and I feel like changing would be too much effort). And I feel like making it even smaller would just tank the quality even more

Though to be honest, I’m glad I made a second version with my proper sketching process, as I was better able to figure out her colors and design

Speaking of her design, yeah this is sort of what I’m thinking for her look, at least in terms of hair, dough and eye color. She’s not gonna keep the braid though, that’s just a kid thing

I feel like maybe I should give her streaks, but I’m not sure where to put them or what color

Also I realize that I forgot to put KitKats on her design. I wasn’t planning to originally since this is a little kid’s outfit, but also in some of the artbook drawings, young Dark Choco had small Oreo shoulderpads, so maybe she should have something similar. I had an idea for her wearing tiny KitKat shoulderpads, but I forgot them. Ah well

Hmm, does she look like a purecacao kid? I’m looking at her and I feel like she looks more like her own character than related to them. Maybe it’s the lack of streaks

Oh yeah, and one more thing I want to add, I’ve decided she’s a post-canon kid, as in Pure Vanilla and Dark Cacao got together after the events of the Dark Flour War and canon in general. The story in my head goes that Dark Cacao developed feelings for Pure Vanilla, but was hesitant to tell him about it, maybe because he’s socially awkward and wasn’t sure how to, maybe because Pure Vanilla and White Lily had something going on and he didn’t want to stir up drama between them. But regardless, Dark Cacao felt that it wasn’t so much of a big deal since they were immortal, he could tell him when he felt it was right. But then the Dark Flour War happened and Pure Vanilla seemingly died, with Dark Cacao never telling him how he felt. But then years later, Pure Vanilla came back, and while Dark Cacao was of course overjoyed, it also caused him to realize that even being immortal, they don’t have all the time in the world, and he needed to tell Pure Vanilla how he felt, and so during the events of Odyssey, he confessed to Pure Vanilla, and then likely sometime after Dark Enchantress’s defeat, they got together, and later had this girl

Also this means she has a (probably) 30+ year older brother in Dark Choco, but it’s all good

I feel bad just keeping her unnamed, but I don’t know what to call her. *sigh*

Any suggestions?

But yeah, I just wanted to show y’all this idea. Don’t know when I’ll be finishing her, but I’ll draw her officially at some point

#cookie run #cookie run kingdom #purecacao #pure vanilla cookie #dark cacao cookie #cookie run oc #fankid #fanchild #my art #my ocs

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weatheredleatherhat · 2 years

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Inked (Karl Heisenberg x gender neutral reader)

Alright, so basically I should be asleep, but I’m too excited about the fact that I’m FINALLY getting my half sleeve tomorrow. Like I’ve got like eleven tattoos now (I constantly forget some because I can’t see them daily like the ones behind my ears and the one on my lower back), but I still get that little thrill whenever my appointment date comes around. I already know it’s gonna be fuckin’ spicy, I can practically feel it already.

But then I got to thinking about Heisenberg (as you do), and how I’d want nothing more than for him to gimme some ink 👀 Remember kids, do your research, think your designs through and go to someone reputable! Not gonna lie I’m real tempted to get the tattoo described in this fic lmao. Or I was thinking about getting his key on my arm to keep filling in the slowly growing lower sleeve? Anyway, if I do it, I’ll be sharing it on here.

Sorry, enough rambling on. Enjoy!!

“You sure about this?”

His eyebrow raised as he looked up towards your face, searching for any clue that you wanted to back out. You huffed a little, impatient to get started as you repositioned on the metal table to get yourself as comfortable as you could be. “I’m sure,” you promised. “Just get started when you’re ready, and don’t worry about me. I can handle it.”

Karl had always been fascinated with your tattoos. Considering he’d never left the village, the act of pushing ink into skin was pretty much unheard of, and he’d only ever seen a couple in pictures. But when you’d showed up, when you started to become closer and platonic had become romantic, you could feel his fingertips brush over them occasionally during an intimate moment. He’d asked about them; what they were or what they meant to you, and you answered with a smile on your face. Your tattoos meant a lot to you; you had suffered hours of pain to get them, had babied them as they healed and put up with the itchiness that drove you up the wall a couple of days into the healing.

You knew that he was good with machines, and that he knew how to keep things sterile and clean. Plus, he had this knack for art that not many knew about. Soldat designs, schematics, even a couple of portraits, you’d seen dextrous fingers sketch things out with a look of concentration plain on his face. It was your favourite thing; sitting on his lap as he worked and watching plain paper turn into a work of art over the passage of time. You’d lamented wanting another tattoo occasionally, and finally asked directly if he wanted to try it out some time. He’d told you that he would do some research and come back to you.

Duke had been happy to get some books on the subject for the right price, and you’d seen him reading them in his spare time. He’d also been slightly amused at Karl’s order for body safe inks, but like the brilliant merchant he was, sure enough they were in the crate with your next supply drop. Karl had designed his own tattoo machine from what he’d seen in the books, making sure that it worked like a charm before starting to practice on his creations. After that, a handful of soldats could be seen roaming the factory halls with his first designs covering their arms and legs. Finally, he’d asked what you wanted to have on your skin forever. And you didn’t give it much time before answering.

You were aware that getting tattoos of a partner’s name was usually the kiss of death in a relationship, but the concept was flimsy around symbolism. You’d come to this backwards village not expecting to find love, but here you were. And you wanted to have that forever written onto your skin. So, your mind had been made up. You were sure.

The design had gone through a couple of changes until you were both satisfied with it, but you’d fallen in love with the one that was now stencilled on you. Heisenberg’s crest, horse head looking to the left and framed with an upturned horseshoe, with delicate buttercup flowers adorning the crest. You’d decided to have it on your upper thigh, near to the hip. “So it can be for our eyes only,” you had told Karl, making his eyes light up with happiness.

Karl gently rubbed your waist with a latex gloved hand, offering a small smile as he stretched his back before he started. “Alright, darlin’. Lemme know if we need a break, and we’ll stop. You ready?”

You nodded, and you bit the inside of your cheek as the familiar sting was dragged across your sting. Just because you liked tattoos didn’t mean that they were exactly a pleasant feeling. A couple of parts on the more sensitive areas made you suck in a breath, and Karl’s eyes quickly darted to your face as he paused to make sure you were okay. But once in the swing of things, you could see that he was pretty into the process. The way his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, the small bite of his lower lip as he focused on getting every part perfect. For someone who’d never done this on a live person, you were pretty impressed on how it was looking so far. The fact that you were safe in the knowledge that he’d made sure everything was satanised and as clean as humanly possible aided your relaxation about the whole thing.

With a final wipe down of the design, he sat up with a large grin on his face as he put the machine down on the table beside him. “We’re all finished,” he announced with a flourish, picking up a hand mirror and handing it to you so you could view his handiwork. “How’d you like it?”

Your smile matched his in it’s intensity as you stared at the newest addition to your body art. It was everything you wanted; clean lines, well shaded and coloured, and more importantly it would be a permanent reminder of Karl. “I love it,” you enthused, enraptured in looking at it from different angles. “Thank you.”

“Glad to be of service, Buttercup,” he chuckled, grabbing the small roll of cling film from the table. “We’ll get it wrapped up, and Duke promised to send over some cocoa butter with our delivery later today.”

You practically flew off the table as he finished wrapping up your thigh, pressing a loving kiss onto his lips as your arms looped around his neck. He made a hum of approval at your action, kissing you back with fervour as his arms coiled around your waist. “Is that my reward for a job well done?”

“I’ve got other things in mind for that,” you smirked, his brow arching at the implication.

In truth, there wasn’t really a way to make it up to him. He’d done something for you, something to make you happy, having to learn a whole new skill to do so. And now, you’d always have him nearby, whenever you brushed your hand against your leg in the future. And the thought made your heart fill until it threatened to spill over with adoration.

#does this break canon? yeah probably fite me lmao #Karl Heisenberg #karl heisenburg x reader #karl heisenberg x you #karl heisenberg headcanon #re8 x reader #resident evil village #resident evil 8 x reader #resident evil x reader #resident evil 8 x you

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bvannn · 4 months

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Weekly Update January 26, 2024

I am still very sick. I just took my second increased dose of the medicine, hoping it will help. Whatever stomach issue I was having a bit ago appears to have returned as well, or it could be more side effects from the surgery. Or something else. I don’t know. I tried fasting on Wednesday and felt physically better but also guilty, and I don’t want to keep doing it because I know it’s dangerous. I’m still a healthy weight for my height so I can probably get away with doing it like, once a week, but I don’t want to accidentally lose too much weight either because I’m already a 22 year old adult who buys clothes in the kids section I don’t need to be any smaller. I’ll figure it out, I’m trying to focus what I am eating on fruits and nuts, hoping it’ll detox me a bit.

I did a couple drawings this week. Kinda. The one I posted was actually sketched back before the surgery I just hadn’t digitized it yet. I only posted the one drawing because I want to hold on to the other for a bit because it’s part of that epithet prompt set I made. I’m fully not expecting to do every one of those prompts, but I figured hey since I missed a few I can do a batch of the missed prompts and release them at once. I sketched the one for this week and planned on finishing it on Wednesday but I got sick again. Once I’m feeling better I’ll try to focus more on drawings. I think I gotta scrap the big animation project I was working on due to circumstances beyond my control, which sucks but theoretically I can try other animation things too. I’ve been sitting on an idea for a short Detective Conan animation, maybe I’ll do that. Or maybe I’ll stay sick. Idk. I kinda want to figure out how I would animate Shaun, since he’s a ghost so I’d have to deal with both transparency and glow effects, plus certain aspects of his design that were meant to be more flowy, like his shirt-tail-thing. I could poke after effects again but it seems a lot more tedious than I had hoped.

I did review over comic stuff this week too, although I haven’t made any progress since I really started getting the surgery after effects. I like how it’s flowing for the most part, but I’m probably going to have to do second drafts of a few pages. Kinda sucks that everything feels so rushed, since I want to fit the whole introductory chapter into ~32 pages, which I’m totally able to do but I have to hold off on some little dialogue exposition conversations that I think people would like. Any story with ghosts is going to have people wanting to fully understand how the ghosts physically work, especially when it becomes relevant, but some of that can be put off until later because character moments are more important. Whatever, I can always keep going.

I feel super bad about not being able to do anything but I’m still so screwed up. I want to take another stab at music, and maybe I will, but I need to sit upright to play piano which screws with my stomach, and in order to pick out VSTs I want on a song I need to be able to have a midi that resembles what the final will sound like and I need to be in the headspace to listen to music without going into sensory overload. I’m pretty sure all of this is sleep related, I have the weekend to hopefully catch up on sleep, but I need to do some homework as well. And I need to stop waking up in the middle of the night. I’m afraid to double dose on sleep medicine because even though I know it’s safe after 6 or so hours, I don’t want to be reliant on sleep medicine because that’s how Michael Jackson died. Might have to wait for my surgery bs to subside before I can try to detox though.

I don’t know what to do with myself right now. I feel awful, I feel like my insides are rotting, but I know they’re not since I’m not in pain from it (or at least not enough pain to really believe that). Plus surgeon looked at me before I moved back to Uni and seemed really impressed with how quickly I was healing. Even though I probably disobeyed her ‘don’t lift more than 20 pounds’ rule. Like a lot. I did feel better this week than I did last, so I’m hoping I can bounce back pretty quick. I’ll give it another week or two before I ask my primary if I need another medicine. I’m hesitant right now because both she and the surgeon seemed to agree beforehand that I wouldn’t, and I want to trust them. I don’t know. Time providing I’ll try to do more drawings this week.

#weekly update

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artofrengin · 2 years

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Here's a sneak peek of content that's normally not for the general public! For every illustration I made for Netherrealms, I did a write-up of how I made the piece and release that exclusively for ρatrons.

This is an illustration I’ve been looking forward to painting again with my skill having progressed after 5 years. Here’s the first version I painted back in 2016:

This was my starting point when I started figuring out a way to remake this illustration. I didn’t want to change the composition, but I did want to add a lot of things I learned about lighting, costume design and giving direction to the composition.

As usual, I started with a moodboard to gather reference for lighting, the costume etc.

I then started setting up a scene to create reference for for Than’s pose. I loved the pose in one of the reference images (the mannequin in Cersei’s dress at the top left of the ref board, for the experts) so I decided to emulate that, with some adaptations to have Than look down at us all (as she does).

Eventually, I had a scene set up, but no real idea how I was going to approach the new version of her dress. For a quick mock-up, I just made a screenshot from Blender of the scene I already had and sketched on top of that in Photoshop:

Now that I’ve got the basic shapes down, I have a little fun and recreate the dress in Marvelous Designer. I took the dress I made in Marvelous for Nergui earlier as a base and adapted that to fit Than’s frame, and looked up some really basic puffy sleeves patterns to emulate those, plus her overcoat.

(I actually understand sewing so much better after making a few of these - not that I’d actually be able to sew a dress after this though)

Since her collar would be a hard surface thing, I modeled that in Blender, imported the cloth from Marvelous and voilá, we have some reference:

Her collar didn’t have the shape I wanted exactly and the fabric of her overcoat wasn’t as thick as I wanted it to be, but this gives me a good idea of where I want to take the piece. So now I could go on to the actual drawing!

After the initial sketch I begin to lay in some colors, and make selections to fill them with the gradient tool. After a while, the painting looks like this:

I decided at this point I hadn’t taken Native’s anatomy into account enough: their necks are very elongated and their shoulders rest really low. I ended up adapting my sketch with the liquify tool to emphasise that a bit more, though I realized the collar would cover up a lot of that effect.

What I’ve also done at this point is create a design for the overcoat. To keep it consistent, I used the symmetry tool with different shapes to create designs, and clipped those to the blue square I’d created. I then made a smart object out of that whole design. That way, I could duplicate it, use it on the other side of her overcoat, and then change the design without having to redo it twice.

I used the same technique on the ribbons hanging from her collar as the rest of the patterned fabric: I created a design within a smart object, and then duplicated that smart object to fit other spaces where I wanted them to fit. I also decided at this point (after looking up some extra reference) that the gold embossing wasn’t looking like it should, so I made it a lot darker.

When I was almost finished I realized that the image was incredibly dark (in a bad way), so I upped the contrast a bit in the whole image, but also brightened up Than a bit to bring her more to the foreground.

I like to let a piece rest for a while after I’ve worked on it. Sometimes I even come back to a piece after a week with new insights. This one went through the same process. After a week of vacation I came back to the piece and made some final color adjustments and brightened everything up a bit more. And that’s how I ended up with the final piece!

I’m happy to have tackled this piece, because I now have a worthy piece to display next to Time. Now I only need a version of Tallulah where she doesn’t have her head in the clouds and I’ll have the full triptych. :)

If you found that interesting, I have about 19 more articles like this on my patreon, for just $2 a month! And with pledging, you help me create more Netherrealms to boot :)

#netherrealmscomic #tutorial #tutorials #walkthrough #illustration #fantasyart

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ashtrayfloors · 2 years

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What I Did on My Summer Staycation, a list:

1. I mentioned in my last entry that I had enough money to treat myself to a few small things. I think that some of my personality and current interests can be well summed up by what I treated myself to: a pack of multicolored Sharpie markers, some pins for my leather and denim jackets (mostly ‘Mats-related, cuz I’m kinda obsessed), a jug of cold brew coffee, and a visit to the local art museum.

2. I’ve gotten back into visual art. Not that I ever really got out of it; I make collages and Xerox art and pages in my art journals all the time. I just mean—well, I started a new canvas last week and it just burst out of me; I painted for hours a day until I’d finished. And since then I’ve been working with oil pastels in my art journal, plus sketching out ideas for some other, larger pieces.

3. It took me years to consider myself a ‘real’ visual artist, or to think that I might have any talent for visual art. Even when people—people whose opinions I respected, people whom I considered ‘real’ artists, even!—complimented my stuff, I’d downplay it; assume they were just saying those things to be nice. Even when I was part of art shows, and complete strangers paid money to take something I painted or drew or photographed or collaged home with them, I’d somehow find a way to talk myself out of feeling like it meant I might actually have talent. And I think a lot of it had to do with how badly I did in art class in elementary and middle school. And just the other day I thought…huh, I wonder how many well-respected, awesome artists did terribly in grade school art class? Probably quite a few! Because in my experience, those art classes had nothing to do with encouraging kids’ artistic abilities, or even teaching us much of anything…except how to follow the rules. Most of the teachers I had in grade school art class were looking for very specific results for each project, and if we couldn’t, or didn’t want to, reproduce them, we got in trouble or got a bad grade. They acted like we were in Warhol’s Factory, where every piece had to be damn near identical to the example they’d shown us. I don’t mean that we were expected to learn the fundamentals of different kinds of art; there was very little actual instruction designed to make us better skilled. I mean…oh, here’s but one example among many: in third grade, we had to make clay sculptures of dinosaurs. I made a dragon instead. I got a bad grade on that project.

3.5. I often got in trouble for not following rules. I got in trouble or got bad grades in Language Arts sometimes, because I got weird with my writing and didn’t do exactly what was asked. Yet that never made me think I was a bad writer! So why did grade school art classes make me think I sucked as a visual artist? Maybe because I had enough writing teachers who encouraged me to balance out the sucky ones? Who knows.

4. Last Thursday I took myself on a date to the art museum. I hadn’t been there since last November. I fell in love with so much of the art, discovered a bunch of new-to-me artists as well as seeing works by artists I was already well familiar with. They have a Paula Rego in one of the current exhibits, and I nearly cried seeing her work in person. (I did cry in front of the Franz Gertsch.) I stopped by the gift shop before I left, to buy a couple postcards and check out the used book rack, where I found a copy of a 1969 book called Pop Art Redefined for two bucks! When I went to pay, the woman behind the counter told me she loved my necklace (I was wearing the blackbird + rosary bead necklace an old Milwaukee friend of mine made for me years ago) and my tattoos. Then she noticed the paint on my fingers and said: “Oh, you must be an artist, too!” And she handed me some info about the museum’s upcoming community art show. It’s free submission, everyone is eligible, it’ll all be up online, and the community gets to vote—and the three top-voted artists will receive a voucher for a studio art class! And it’s zodiac themed!

4.5. I just loved being recognized as an artist, okay?

5. Friday was the start of our house and dog-sitting job. C. insisted we go to the beach pretty much right away, so he and I went while P. and D. stayed with the dog. We looked for rocks and beach glass, built a sandcastle, walked in the water; I drew for a while while he ran in and out of the water and squealed with glee anytime a big wave came up. Later, back at the house, I sketched out some ideas for the zodiac-themed art show. I have two ideas, but it’s limited to one submission per artist; I think I’m going to make both and then decide which one to submit once they’re both done.

6. None of us slept well that first night, so the next day was a little rough in some regards. But there were good things, too. I talked to the neighborhood crows. I made a batch of pie crust while listening to La Traviata and Django Reinhardt. I worked on some poems, and some pieces for my zine. I did some more sketching in my art journal. I saw the proofs for LOTD, and oh wow did the publisher ever get the aesthetic exactly right. We went to the beach again, all four of us this time. D. brought a bag to pick up trash, his idea, and he thoroughly cleaned up the beach, and I was so full of love and pride for my budding environmentalist. I picked up more rocks, felt their energy, gave most of them back to the lake, except for one that wanted to come home with me. We all slept better that night.

7. Sunday was probably the best day. I did a tarot and oracle spread about what the upcoming week had in store for me; a lot of it involved transformation, healing, breakthroughs. I did yoga. I wrote postcards to some friends as though I were on a real vacation. We took a long walk. The storms rolled in, I made a nectarine and blueberry galette, wrote some. Cooked a delicious Provençal-inspired salmon dish for dinner, drank some vodka rocks with a twist of lemon, watched the rain. But then I barely slept again that night.

8. I woke up Monday feeling completely wrecked, both from lack of sleep (I used to stay up all night on purpose, for fun?!) and allergies (fall allergy season is starting, yay!). The first half of the day was really rough. I found a dead mouse on the front walk, poor little gray fuzzball, and it made me cry. Then C. had a huge tantrum, and I reacted very poorly. But it turned out okay in the end. I have a tendency to let a bad moment or bad mood ruin my entire day, but I’m trying not to do that. P. took C. on a little outing, I took a long bath with some stress-relief bubble bath, when they got back I apologized to C. and we hugged it out and things were fine the rest of the day. We grilled out, listened to the howls of the coyotes that walk along the lakeshore, then watched a movie as a family, all cuddled up on the same couch (along with the dog we were dog-sitting). And I slept well, finally.

9. Yesterday, we cleaned the house we’d been staying in, then packed up our stuff, and waited for the owners to get home. They got home late afternoon, paid us, and we came home to our house. Then my parents stopped by. They just got back from a trip to Michigan to visit family, and wanted to give us some things they’d brought back. I got a series of paintings done by my dad’s cousin (who is actually a quite well-known and respected artist, and also pretty much the only cool weirdo on my dad’s side of the family), a piece of pottery made by one of my mom’s sisters, and a pair of earrings made by another of her sisters. But before that could happen, my mom immediately started in on me. I had off-handedly mentioned how rough a lot of the weekend was for me & P. & the kiddos, and because I said that rather than asking how her trip was, well, there was hell to pay. It’s exhausting, sometimes, that I never seem to be able to do anything right in her eyes.

9.5. When I freaked out during C.’s tantrum on Monday, I noticed that some of the things I said/the way I said them was very, very like my mom, and I was horrified. (They fuck you up, your mum & dad…) But at least I apologized to C. For all my failings, I admit when I’m in the wrong. I can count on one hand the number of times in my life my mom has apologized to me. Usually, even when it’s something she started, I’m the one who has to apologize, otherwise she’ll send me passive aggressive text messages until the end of time.

10. After that blew over, everything was fine for a while. It was good to be back at our own house. The kids seemed mellower than they’d been in days. P. and I had some drinks in the backyard and watched the dragonflies swarm overhead. But then, after the kids were asleep…some rough stuff got brought up, and we were maybe not sober enough to talk about it calmly, and it turned into a big argument where we both yelled and I cried. He slept on the couch and I got in bed and cried some more.

11. But we talked again this morning, and things are better. I thought again of my tarot spread for the week, and thought: oh. Healing, transformation, breakthroughs. Sometimes those things aren’t pretty, and they’re seldom ever easy. The truth is, my mental health has been…not great…for the past month. I’m in kind of a scary place that I’m not sure how to get out of, but as of this morning I feel like I can. I also got on Facebook for the first time in a while, only to discover that a lot of my friends are going through some similar hard times. I want us all to make it, and be even stronger and happier on the other side of whatever this is. I still don’t fully know how to get out of my dark place, but I’m trying some things. Cutting way back on caffeine and alcohol. Making sure to exercise every day, depending on physical ability. Continuing to make art and seek out things that bring me joy.

12. Today was pretty good, overall. Took a long walk with C., wrote some, got my favorite chicken tagine simmering in the slow cooker. LOTD came out, and I think at least half the copies have already sold. Tomorrow, we are taking the day trip we were originally going to take last week. Backroads & burgers & Big Foot Beach, here I come.

13. Sometimes I feel like I get weirder & wilder as I get older, not less. Certainly, my life is more staid than it was in my younger days, and even my appearance isn’t always as outlandish. I think I need fewer outward exhibitions of weirdness and wildness now that my internal life is so much richer. Not saying my internal life was totally dull when I was younger, but…to paraphrase Patti Smith, I’m better able to live my life with balance and stealth now that I proceed with abandon in art and dream.

#ashtrayfloors #dear livejournal #i don't feel like tagging this all obsessively like i normally do #so #proceed at your own risk #there's nothing too graphically awful in here #but there is some talk of mental illness and familial dysfunction

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talysalankil · 2 years

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In Which Talys Rants About His Latest (resurgent) Hyperfixation Instead Of Going To Sleep

;It’s exactly what it says in the title. The past week and a half have been a spiral of anxiety depression and ADHD and that has somehow led me into rediscovering my hyperfixation for mapmaking, using the world of FTEITS as a case study.

Mostly it’s an excuse to show my progress and go

(shout-out to the useless tumblr GIF keyboard that forced me to leave tumblr and google the gif)

Methodology and Tools

I’m using Artifexian’s excellent worldbuilding and atlas mapping series, plus supplemental research whenever he doesn’t provide enough information for my specific case.

As for tools, aside from GPlates from Artifexian, I use Affinity Designer, because it’s a single purchase instead of Adobe’s hell subscription and I find the free vector programs like Inkscape too limiting.

Step One: Get your old shit together

So, I’ve drawn the world of FTEITS (I refer to it as “world of four” internally, a moniker which loses meaning the further I stop treating four as my arc number, but whatever) on paper years ago. Here’s an almost-up-to-date scan (the one I used as reference for all this)

A year ago I already tried doing this exact process I’m doing it now: basically using GPlates to project that on a sphere, then drawing continents to adjust the shape directly on a globe, which got me here

Step Two: Adjust that shit and get some climates

Climate zones are one of the things I wanted to do this whole thing for. Basically I’m fine drawing whatever shape, but I thought it would be easier to flesh out the world with a more systematic approach.

I technically started this last year too, including the tectonic plates (basically I already knew where I wanted mountains, so I added plates to justify their existence). I also adjusted the shape of the continent known as Aarde (name subject to change as 2022 me is a lot keener than 2012 me that maybe using Dutch as the basis for the language of your majority black continent “because Afrikaans” is actually a bad idea) because I realized it was too small and my southern hemisphere too empty.

I also decided to add a couple islands in the southeast, adjusted the shape of that continent since I wanted a monsoon circulation there and it turns out you need an equatorial ocean for that to happen.

Step Three: Fill in more shit like resources, then realize you completely messed up ocean circulation

Basically what that says. Ocean currents dictate a lot (including climates, but also stuff like fishing hotspots). And I completely misunderstood the way ocean currents work.

So I decided to add what is essentially a submerged continent to the south pole to create some fishing hotspots near the (still needs to be renamed) Moeder Eiland, and also made shitty annotations on the map before I went back to the drawing board.

Basically marking ocean ridges and trenches, and a sketch of that continent knowing that I’d go back to GPlates to make it look okay on a sphere.

Step Four: Actually execute concept

The only thing I actually did in gplates was redo my tectonic plates and draw that submerged continent. Oh, and also, I added a mountain range to the southeast of Eogua. Which, ironically, I then found my paper map for an unrelated thing (I forgot what the other mountain range was named) and found that at some point in the past, I independently had already decided to add a mountain range there. So. I did that.

I also started doing an elevation map in more details (this one is incompete; i focused on getting the mountains done first since they also influenced climates which, again, were my primary goal here). With my tablet and pencil, this actually starts to look like, you know, a map? Madness.

Step Five: Work, work, work

So it turns out that an elevation map takes a ton of work. No wonder I never finished the first one. If the brain worms hadn’t dictated it now I don’t know how I would have done it.

Oh, also I adjusted some shit near the poles since distortions and all that. So that was another round in GPlates too.

Oh hey, this is finished, right? Right???

Step Six: Realize you fucked up ocean currents again

In my defense, I’d say the artifexian guide on that is just. not great.

Anyway between that and a first iteration on climate zones I realized it was time to adjust some shapes again. Which. Maybe I should have checked my climates before I finished the elevation map so these changes didn’t have to cascade across a bunch of different layers.

So I adjusted the landmasses for my main setting, shifting it north…

And then finally I redid the currents to get something that I think is more or less correct, or as close to correct as I’m bothered getting anyway

Oh, and I added more islands. I don’t even know if they’re visible in this file size lmao

Step Seven: Realize If You Want To Export Many Maps You’re Gonna Be In Trouble

Okay so Affinity programs have this “Persona” feature which lets you essentially switch modes. One of them is the Export persona that lets you say “these are the outputs I want from my file”

Problem is (and this is a feature people have asked but hasn’t come yet) all you can do there is slice your file. I would have liked if instead my slices were like “this and that layer for the elevation map, this and that layer for the climate map” but i guess that’s not in the cards right now

So…I cut my file into a bunch of artboards, and used the Symbol feature to ensure that each artboard was synced (a symbol basically flags a layer so that every duplicate of that layer will be edited at the same time, and you can even scale them differently, etc etc). For now I have three artboards, but I can already tell I’ll probably need to split them up further, for instance if I want an export for the tectonic map.

But for now it’s a topograhy map, a climate zone map, and a sociopolitical map. The first two are complete (you know, barring potential changes and iterations, but I consider them done). The third is just a sketch where I plopped down the major cities, I’ll be adding more stuff as I figure out how to do it.

Needless to say, it’s not great to look at but whatever.

Step Eight: Waste Almost An Hour Writing A Tumblr Post About All This

In my defense, the beta post editor did decide to crash on me. It does not handle moving pictures around well. I’m writing this using the old, non-beta editor now.

And so, finally, the higher-quality files (higher because i did have to add an export to JPEG just so tumblr would accept the goddamn files)

And once again:

#talysnovel: fteits #this is probably the most in depth i've gotten about the world on tumblr #talys makes maps

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weloveliving · 2 months

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Dear diary,

These are my original characters, I’m quite upset with my artstyle lately and since I haven’t drawn in ages the recovery from the break is always hard . Anyway I’ve been trying to work on my ocs and my 1st project ever , I honestly feel not confident at all to start my comic, I want to self-publish it in a paper like mode (I’m a software engineer I can easily learn how to create a website with these requirements) but it will be less accessible than a comic or webtoon or else, plus I know my project is quite heavy and I’m trying to reduce it and simplify it but it’s still gonna be heavy , and I’m not sure I have the time for it , I for sure do not have the right skills but i don’t know if I have the time , I’m still a student so I just need to get my degree first (it’s already too stressful).

Plus I feel like I have the skills of a beginner which I’m but I hate it .

Anyway these are just sketches , nothing too crazy, but I’m focusing on chara design even if it does not look like a character design sheet at all, I’m aware of it and of the mistakes but I have no energy to do anything more complicated than this hahaha or to fix anything. I hate this no unique, too much done , “cute” and “cringe” compo but I’m not trying to stand out at all, nor that I think I can or ever will hahaha .

I like tumblr it’s like a personal journal , I can write down my worries without having anyone reading me and I feel a sort of liberty , and also with it upsetting anyone , I know I’m quite pessimistic and I hate everything I do and that’s could be annoying to read and even giving off some bad vibes which everyone hates but my heart is heavy and I have no one to talk to abt it hahaha

19/03/2024

#portfolio #original character #digital illustration

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longing-for-rain · 9 months

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Your art is so great! What program do you use? Curious because I would love to know how to replicate that water color vibe. Unless it's traditional art, in which case- wow!

Hi! Thank you very much! It isn’t traditional art (I’d be amazed too lol) and I want to be up front about that. This is going to be a long answer but I hope the explanation helps!

I played around with a variety of programs, but the combination I found worked best was these two:

Sketchbook: Free iPad app that allows you to upload reference images and freehand anything in a variety of styles. The layering feature also makes line art and colors a lot more convenient.

MidJourney: This is a discord plug-in that does a wide variety of things ranging from fully AI generated images to image editing. I use it for editing, because as I’ll explain in more detail below, 100% text prompt based image generation does not work if you’re trying to create a specific character. It costs a subscription fee, but I was already using it for a side job of mine so I thought I’d try applying it to this.

To basically summarize the process I use, I first create line art with flat color in Sketchbook, then upload these images to MidJourney and play around with settings until I’ve created something I like. I’ll explain in more detail below because it’s a little complicated.

The Sketchbook part is pretty basic, but for this purpose the most important thing is to make basic art (flat color works best) that emphasizes specific features you want. This can be the character’s hairstyle, clothing, pose, or distinct facial features. Flat color and basic background elements will also help establish the vibe.

And once you start playing with MidJourney, the need for this part becomes apparent. For example, if you just open up MidJourney and type “Katara sketch” you get something like this:

Which really doesn’t look like her at all, and looks pretty whitewashed. So, reference images are very necessary if you actually want something resembling the exact characters and scene you’re trying to draw.

You can somewhat narrow in on features with text, but the more text inputs you give MidJourney, the more confused it gets and you get some wacky stuff. Especially if the picture includes more than one character. For example, I tried using pure text for some Yue x Mai art, and got things like this:

Even though I was specifying a dark haired woman with pale skin and a white haired woman with dark skin, it switched around the traits and got them confused. Plus, no iconic Mai hair (unacceptable). So again, it really needs image input for specific characters.

It definitely takes some playing around with too, but here are more tips:

Use a combination of text and image prompts. Reiterate key features of your image inputs in text. You can also use text inputs to specify the style you want.

Use variation tools. MidJourney will give you 4 different variations with each prompt, and will allow you to choose one of these variations to either slightly or majorly vary for even more options to help narrow in on the right design. There is even an option to select a certain region of the image you want to vary while leaving everything else the same.

Play around with other settings (still figuring all these out). Probably the most useful one for fan art is reducing the amount of “stylization” MidJourney does to the image. --style raw gives you an output that draws most literally from your inputs, but there was an update recently that I believe allows even more fine tuning.

I hope that helps! I also want to reiterate that I never claimed to be a great artist and that this is a hobby I’m not profiting from, so I don’t want any more speeches about how I’m cheating or whatever. I’m an engineer, not an artist, and I’m applying my skills to something I love, to create things I enjoy. And I’ll be completely open about how I do it too, because if someone else wants to use the same method to make art of their favorite characters, please do! I would love to see what you create.

#ask #midjourney #art

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shirecorn · 3 years

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scuze me i wanna learn to sketch creatures like you do, how would I go about learning that?

Draw from life! Here’s my tips on drawing horses

For other creatures.. well... The one thing that isn’t a tip is just that I grew up obsessed with drawing animals. I’ve been drawing since I could hold a pencil, but only started drawing humans five years ago when I was 20 (which is a WHOLE other story)

The thing that helped the most was studying bones, so if you have access to skulls/skeletons or replicas, get some. Pictures are cool but nothing beats holding the real thing. You can also study 3d models in the calacademy skull gallery

Ok I deleted a page and a half of rambling to get to the Big Tip. There’s something that bothers me a lot in creature design, which I will call “splicing”

Splicing vs blending! Using this handy Minotaur who volunteered his time for us

This is spliced! It’s just an animal head on a human body. Sometimes I will splice things like this but only if it makes sense in the story. My manticores are spliced rather than blended because in my head they’re more of a cursed/magicked mash of creatures than something that developed on its own.

Manny here is going to get another piece spliced on

I chopped off his legs and put bull ones in their place. This adds a little more cohesion and I see it as more believable and less “magical accident.” I don’t like stopping here but I see a lot of horny furries that prefer this, so it definitely has its applications. This is still thoroughly spliced with just two cuts between the two lifeforms.

Here’s where things get less Spliced and more Blended. In a blender, everything gets mixed together and spit out in a smooth concoction. This blender gave him fur all over instead of just on the bull parts. I also changed up his hands and gave him hoof-fingers, but not just straight up bull-feet-for-hands. This is pretty good but still solidly a furry.

This is much closer to blend than splice, now. This is definitely not cow limbs grafted onto a human. The Minotaur was not a human with a bull glued to him, but he was conceived, carried, and born as a half human, half bovine child. His mother was a human and his sire was a bull and his origin was greek mythology so things tend to get Messed Up. Hybridizing animal species/breeds is generally not “Copy of one parent with the body part the other” with the exception of corgi crosses.

Shoulders are one of the last things I see people changing on the splice to blend scale, but it really adds SO much monsterness to your designs. Plus, with lower more animal shoulders, Manny can drop on all fours and sprint more comfortably than Hu-Manny.

While the minotaur is literally described as “head and tail of a bull on the body of a man” I don’t see why that has to be the end of it. Describing a creature with all the detail and care of a field guide is not terribly important when it’s trying to kill you. Bull-man is enough for a warning. Blended, this guy looks a lot more monstery and I can see it charging headfirst to impale me, which is what really counts here.

Now there’s a monster boy! I actually drew this one second after drawing splice stage 1, and can you tell which one was faster, easier, and more fun?

My process is not to slowly add creature parts like above, but to blend them up in my head and put them on the page already blended. But I have a lot of practice so that comes more easily to me!

This doesn’t only work on human + animal, but on any number of combinations with any number of ingredients. Let’s take the fabled Questing Beast, an Arthurian legend from the middle ages described as having

“the head and neck of a snake, the body of a leopard, the haunches of a lion, and the feet of a hart [deer]”

Here’s a spliced version where I cut and glued animals together

This is definitely fun but it doesn’t look like an actual animal, its very obviously a mashed creature. Trying to run with hooves AND paws? Is it predator or prey? Whats with all the clashing patterns?

So let’s turn this splice into a blend. Giving it deer hooves on all four feet because we need some dangerous hoofed animals. The head and neck is gonna be a hybrid of snake and deer with added spots. In fact let’s hybrid the spots themselves to look more like the snake pattern, but spotted and furred all over. The lion haunches are cool but we’ll just take their powerful muscles and keep the lion tail, but put some spots on it. Finally, we’ll make the legs really long so the snake neck doesn’t look out of proportion. Might as well add some little yearling antler nubs from the deer and give it a tiny mane from a juvenile lion.

Now we have a blended Questing Beast

Doesn’t that look nicer and more cohesive? You could even believe it’s a real animal if it wasn’t so absurd.

Spliced creature design is valid and has its place, but to me it always adds an element of uncanny unnaturalness, which is great as a story element!

So have fun! Splice, blend, and invent your own techniques! Try a lot of variety and you’ll eventually find a style that speaks to you.

Creature Design | Patreon | Ko-fi

#splice vs blend #creature design #monster design #minotaur #fantasy biology #questing beast #fantasy evolution #giraffe #shire screams #shire draws #ask #art tips

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the-martyrfication-of-the-matron · 3 years

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I’ve been thinking about what I’m gonna do when I rewrite mystreet (won’t be for a while, but I like to preplan) and I don’t know whether or not to cut out s1-3.

I know for many people those are the best three seasons, they’re goofy people doing goofy things, but I prefer s4-6. I like darker undertones, and that’s what those three seasons have (s5 less than the others, but it’s still there). It seems odd to have a lighthearted funny series, and then have it randomly switch to cold-hearted murder, and so I obviously need to remove one. And I chose the light hearted ness.

It’s not a definite decision, but if I were to go through with it, it would probably go something like:

-Emerald Secret, with an episode or two added onto the start to introduce the characters and the situation. Hinting at the whole Ein being Aphmau’s brother thing. Because it could have been a genuinely okay twist if properly built up.

-Aphmau’s year as it’s own season. I think it would be pretty important to focus on Aphmau’s response to ES, and how it changes her interactions with people as she recovers emotionally from it. Plus, I’m sure many people would be happy to be Aaron-less for a season. Im not one of them, I love him, but… gotta cater to my audience.

-Starlight Wonderland. Develops Aaron’s relationship with his dad a bit more. Aaron and Derek get along, Aaron knows why his dad treated him poorly growing up. But that doesn’t mean he’s forgiven him completely. He thinks Derek should’ve tried to find some other way to control his son than abusing him, and he doesn’t exactly keep that opinion to himself. Want to go further in depth about Derek working with Michael and the others, mostly through Melissa doing her own research after getting doubts about how her family got it’s wealth. Other than that, pretty much the same as the original season. Oh, and get rid of Aphmau’s weirdness to Aaron being a werewolf. Her calling him Alpha and stuff made my skin crawl.

-When Angels fall. DEVELOP THE INCEST TWIST MORE. I feel like Aaron wasn’t made out to be badass enough in this season, oddly enough, so gotta bump that up a bit. A bit more push on Aphmau and her connection to Irene. Reference to Hyria because she’s severely underrated.

-Her wish. A smaller season than the others, but a season none the less. Aphmau and Aaron spend an entire month with ‘Renee’, just a bit longer than the original. We get to see ‘Renee’ being a bit of a badass, we develop on her iffiness around certain people, and the shit she almost gets caught for but doesn’t because Aaron is blind And can’t exactly catch her doing shit If he can’t see shit. Also some hints that Aphmau is pregnant, but nothing too out there. Because we can’t reveal that until Aaron is dead. Which will happen in the hypothetical 6th season of my rewrite. Because ✨drama✨

Another thing: what should I replace Christmas with? This takes place in a fictional world, they would have different holidays… so like… need some suggestions for that. If Yall could be so kind.

Also, heres a bad sketch I did of the original MCD designs for characters

And here’s me redesigning the original designs. Two of the designs I already had but I like drawing them so. (Ignore the poses, I was being lazy)

#aphmau #minecraft diaries #aphverse #mcd #rewrite

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triptuckers · 3 years

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Two Homes (part 5/7) - Nikolai Lantsov

Request: no Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x reader Summary: even though you were determined to leave the palace as soon as you could, you now find yourself waking up in a luxurious room of the palace months later Warnings: angst Word count: 4.7K..... yea A/N: for the sake of this series, nikolai never gave alina the lantsov emerald lol also this turned out longer than I planned it to be but do I regret it? maybe a bit not in the slightest, enjoy reading! :) (also I know I posted part 4 like yesterday but I want this one out there cause a lot happens & I want to post part 6 & 7 so bad) PREVIOUS PART | NEXT PART TAG LIST (two homes and/or all grishaverse fics): @godsofwriting@im-constantly-fangirling @ayushmitadutta @mrs-brekker15@dancingwith-sunflowers @thegirlwiththeimpala @parker-natasha @story-scribbler @romanoffstarkovs @daliareads @meiitanoia @itsnotquimey (if your name is in bold it means I couldn't tag you) @sanktaesperanza @whymyparentscheckmyphone @aleksanderwh0r3 @ilovemarvelanne1 add yourself to my tag lists here

For someone who had dreaded going to Os Alta, you find yourself starting to actually like it. After pulling you aside, out of earshot of your father, Nikolai explained to you why he told your father he’d picked you as his bride.

When he told you it was to ensure he couldn’t control your life any longer, you got confused, asking him why he would do such thing. In response, he recalled the conversation you had at the gardens, when you told him your father had been controlling your entire life, and how people had made decisions for him his entire life as well.

Nikolai merely said he thought you deserved to make your own choices for once. Even if it meant living at the palace, far away from Ketterdam.

You had agreed to stay at the palace. You knew you couldn’t go back to Ketterdam now. The news of Nikolai picking you as his bride would probably travel faster than you’d like to.

While you did like Nikolai, and you enjoyed the little time you had spent with him, you made it clear you still didn’t want to marry him. That a part of still longed for Ketterdam.

Nikolai listened to you explaining your choices, and respected them. While both of you knew all eyes would be on you after announcing the engagement, you also knew you couldn’t push it back any further. Not after all the rumours.

He did agree to wait with picking an actual wedding date, giving you enough time to get used to your new life. You had told him you had no intention of marrying him, but over time you found yourself thinking more and more about it.

You’re amazed by the palace, and the life you live now. Every day, you walk around the palace, finding new routes and rooms. You start to think you might never see all of it in one lifetime. And you visit the gardens as well.

You keep the yellow flower Nikolai had given you next to the mirror in your room. But you’d never tell him that, he’d tease you endlessly about it.

As more weeks pass by, you spend more time with Nikolai, as well as his triumvirate. He’d invited you to few of their meetings, telling you if you ever did get married, you’d have to attend them as well. And the sooner you got used to it, the better.

At first, it felt a little weird. You walk around with Nikolai and everyone knows you as his future bride. While it feels odd, Nikolai’s presence is a comforting one. And the more you get to know him, the more you actually start to like him. Maybe staying at the palace wouldn’t be so bad as you thought it would be.

He spends a lot of time getting to know you. You have long conversations about your life in Ketterdam and his time in the army. About both of your dreams for the future, and what you want to achieve. But you also talk about small and simple things such as your favourite dish, or a book you love.

Most of the talks take place in the gardens or your room. You like getting to know the Nikolai beneath the mantle of king. You start to realise the two of you aren’t so different. If you had been born in a different city, you might have been childhood friends.

On a particularly sunny spring morning, the two of you walk around the gardens again. Nikolai doesn’t even have to offer his arm to you, you already place your hand on it. After some time, you’ve slipped into an easy morning routine, which sometimes includes a walk through the gardens.

‘How long until the Summers Week blooms again?’ you ask him as you walk past the familiar bush.

Nikolai glances at the same bush. ‘Probably a couple of months.’ he says. ‘Why do you ask?’

‘I think they’re beautiful.’ you as the two of you sit down on the same bench you sat on so many months ago, when you had escaped the ball. ‘It really is a shame they only bloom for such a short period of time.’

‘Do you still have that one flower I gave you when we met?’ asks Nikolai.

You glare at him. You just know he’d never let you forget it if he knew you kept it. ‘Yes.’ you say. ‘I wouldn’t throw it away.’

And indeed, a smug look appears on Nikolai’s face. ‘I’m delighted you didn’t throw it away.’ he says.

You playfully roll your eyes. ‘I expect a new one when they bloom again.’ you say.

‘I’ll make sure to give you one, sweetheart.’ he says with a smile.

You feel your cheeks heat up at the mention of the nickname. He’d called you nicknames on more than one occasion. You still weren’t used to it. Maybe it had to do something with the fact that Nikolai seems to always look good.

You look at the bush again, getting lost in your thoughts. Nikolai seems to notice. After a while of silence, he speaks up.

‘What’s on your mind?’ he asks you.

You wonder when get got so good at reading your face. ‘I’ve been thinking about, well, all of this.’ you say, gesturing to the gardens and the palace behind you.

Nikolai turns so he can properly look at you. ‘And?’ he says.

‘I have to admit, life at the grand palace isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. And it has been nice not to have my father following me around all day long. I still miss Ketterdam, but maybe not as much as I used to.’ you say.

You briefly look at Nikolai and notice a faint smile on his lips as he’s listening to you.

‘Plus, the company isn’t so bad.’ you say. ‘I know I made it clear I didn’t want this. But the time I've spent here has been very nice. Everyone is so kind, and I love the walks around the palace.’

‘What exactly are you saying, Y/N?’ says Nikolai, though the look on his face tells you he already knows.

You take a deep breath. ‘I’m saying I’m willing to do this. I think I could be happy here. I’m willing to marry you. Even it it’s just for the sake of Ravka. I’d rather marry you than some old merchant back in Kerch.’ you say.

Nikolai smiles. ‘That’s good to hear.’ he says. ‘Was it my dashing smile or charming personality that made you decide to stay?’

‘Don’t get cocky now, Nikolai.’ you chuckle.

‘Sweetheart, have you actually met me? I’ll always be cocky.’ he says.

You laugh and Nikolai reaches out to take one of your hands in his.

‘But on a more serious note, I really am glad you decided to stay. I didn’t lie when I said you’re nice company.’ he says. ‘And now I can finally give you this.’

He gets something out of his pocket and holds it in his closed fist.

‘Close your eyes.’ he says.

You slightly raise your eyebrows. ‘Really?’ you say.

‘Really.’ says Nikolai, smirking at you.

You do as he says and close your eyes. You feel how Nikolai lifts your hand and slides something on your finger. You feel the weight of it on your finger and can tell what it is before Nikolai tells you to open your eyes.

A ring with a beautiful green emerald sits on your finger. Your lips part in surprise. He doesn’t even have to say it, you know this ring.

‘This is the Lantsov emerald.’ you say as you look at him.

‘It’s really just an emerald like any others.’ says Nikolai, looking at your hand which is still in his. ‘But that is what most people call it, yes.’

You admire the ring on your finger. ‘It’s beautiful.’ you say. When you look up, you see Nikolai looking at you with an odd expression on his face.

‘What is it?’ you say.

He simply smiles at you and shakes his head. ‘Nothing.’ he says. He gets up and offers you his arm again. ‘Shall we go back to the palace? It’s almost lunch time.’

You nod and get up as well but instead of laying your hand on his arm, you grab his hand and intertwine your fingers with his instead. The two of you walk back to the palace, and you try to ignore the way people look at your left hand, clearly eyeing the emerald ring.

This would be yet another rumour that would spread impossibly fast. You had to write another letter to the Crow Club soon. You’d rather have your friends find out through you, than because of rumours.

You’d been writing letters to the Crows since you decided you stay at the palace. You told them about your life at the palace, and in return they told you what was going on in Ketterdam.

You loved receiving letters from them. They each took turns writing you, and all of them signed the letter.

Once you had lunch, Nikolai got called away to another meeting, and you went to your room to write a letter to Ketterdam. As usual, you started off by asking them how they were doing, if any jobs went wrong, and a new prediction on how many card games Jesper had lost.

You then wrote about finally accepting the fact you’d marry Nikolai. Despite the chances being low they could attend, you invited them to the wedding anyway. You told them you’d send them a formal invitation with the date as soon as you picked a date.

And then the chaos started. Genya insisted on being in charge of the planning, and she also sketched you a few designs for your wedding dress. They were all equally stunning, and you couldn’t pick one. Eventually, Nikolai picked the one he thought would suit you best.

Zoya was in charge of putting together the guest list. When she asked you who you wanted to invite, you gave her the names of the Crows. She seemed a bit taken aback you’d invite them because after all, they were criminals. You hadn’t yet told her you’d been part of the Crows for many years as well.

When you looked at the list she was writing, you noticed your father’s name on it as well. He’d sent you many letters, which you ignored. You took the pen from Zoya’s hand and crossed his name off the list without a word.

Time seemed to fly by at an alarmingly speed. Before you know it, you wake up on the morning of your wedding. Until this day, it seemed like a strange concept somehow. As if you couldn’t fully realise it.

But when your eyes land on your wedding dress, you feel like for the first time, the realisation of what’s about to happen finally sinks in. You would marry Nikolai. You would take his name and you would become a queen. Of a country that’s not even your own.

A knock on your door catches you off guard and you call for them to come in. Genya enters, followed by a few servants. She’s beaming at you, clearly excited about today.

‘Are you ready?’ she says.

‘More like the most nervous I’ve ever been.’ you say.

Genya smiles at you as she sits down on the bed next to you. ‘I understand you’re nervous.’ she says. ‘But I promise you it’ll be alright. We’ll all be here right beside you. And it’s just one day.’

‘One day of ceremonies and traditions and then I’m a queen.’ you say, having an uneasy feeling in your stomach.

‘Nikolai will be there by your side. And we will be there as well.’ says Genya. ‘Now let’s get you in that dress.’

She rises to her feet and motions for you to get up as well. You hesitate.

‘Could you, um, go and get Nikolai?’ you ask her, avoiding her eyes. ‘I want to talk to him.’

‘Of course.’ she says and she immediately leaves the room. You get up and start to pace the room, ignoring the servants who are patiently waiting for you. It doesn’t take long for Genya to return with Nikolai.

Nikolai smiles at you and asks the servants and Genya to leave the room, which they do.

By the looks of it, Genya caught him while he was getting dressed. His hair is still messy and his shirt is hastily tucked into his pants. He walks up to you, looking at you.

‘What can I do for you?’ he says.

‘I’m nervous.’ you say.

‘If it helps, I’m nervous too.’ he says.

‘But you always manage to hide it behind a curtain of flirty comments and confidence.’ you say. ‘I wish I could do that.’

‘Y/N, just because I always know what to say, doesn’t mean I don’t get nervous.’ says Nikolai.

He reaches out to take your hand in his and walks you back to your bed, where you sit down.

‘Listen, it’s completely normal to be nervous. It’s a big day. A lot of important people are going to be present. But I want you to be okay with this, so do you still want to do this?’ he says.

You look at him and frown. ‘Yes, of course!’ you say. ‘We’re not going to cancel this whole thing because I’m nervous. I just hope I won’t throw up because of the nerves.’

Nikolai chuckles. ‘I’m sure you’ll be fine.’ he says. ‘If it makes you feel better, we could practice.’

You frown again. ‘Practice what? I know how weddings work, Nikolai.’ you say.

‘It wasn’t the entire wedding I was talking about.’ says Nikolai.

You look at him, waiting for him to continue. He looks at your lips instead.

‘Oh.’ you say softly. That was what he meant.

Nikolai slowly inches closer to you, leaning in. His eyes switch from your lips to your eyes, silently asking permission. You give the barest of nods and Nikolai closes the remaining space between you, softly pressing his lips against yours.

You close your eyes and focus on the feeling of his lips on yours. All of the nerves seem to leave your body as you easy into him. When he pulls away, your faces are still close to each other.

‘Well if that’s what you call practicing, I wonder what the real thing is going to do to top that.’ you say.

Nikolai laughs at your words. ‘You’re getting better at your comebacks with every passing day, sweetheart.’ he says.

‘I learn from the best.’ you say, smiling at him.

‘Are you ready for this?’ says Nikolai.

‘I am now.’ you say with a hint of newfound confidence.

Nikolai nods and gets up. ‘I’ll call Genya back.’ he says.

You get up as well and walk with him to the door. Before opening it, Nikolai takes your hand in his and presses a kiss to your knuckles. With a wink, he opens the door and steps out into the hallway.

Once Genya and the servants enter, she immediately drags you over and pushes you into a chair to do your hair.

‘You don’t seem nervous anymore.’ she says.

‘I’m not.’ you say. ‘Nikola and I, uh, talked about it.’ you say, unable to stop your cheeks from turning red.

Genya smiles knowingly at you. ‘I’m sure it was a good talk then.’ she says, emphasising the word “talk”.

‘It was.’ you say, avoiding her eyes.

The smile never leaves Genya’s face as she finishes with doing your hair. The servants help you to get in the dress, and you finally look at yourself in the mirror. Genya had really outdone herself with the dress. It looks beautiful on you, as if it was meant to be.

You turn to look at her. ‘Thank you.’ you say. ‘Truly. It’s perfect.’

‘Don’t thank me. Nikolai is the one who picked the dress.’ she says. ‘Are you ready to go?’

You take a deep breath and nod. Genya links her arm through yours and you start walking toward the small chapel on the palace grounds. The guests had already arrived and were gathered inside. You can hear them talking and chatting excitedly even outside the chapel.

Genya hugs you tightly and disappears inside the chapel. After a few deep breaths to calm yourself again, you firmly plant your feet on the ground. No going back now.

The doors to the chapel open and you watch as the guests all rise. A last deep breath, and you start walking. Were there really this many people on the list Zoya had put together?

You start to feel nervous again, but then you see Nikolai looking at you. He’s smiling brightly, and looks very handsome. You remember the feeling of his lips on yours, and find your confidence once more.

You slowly walk down the aisle, smiling as well, and your eyes are fixed on Nikolai. When you finally make it to the front of the chapel, Nikolai smiles as you stop walking.

‘Still nervous?’ he whispers softly, so only you can hear it.

‘Not anymore, thanks to you.’ you whisper back.

You take a quick look at the crowd. You only recognise the people that lived at the palace as well. Thankfully, you don’t see your father in the crowd. But your heart sinks as you don’t spot your Crows either. They didn’t come.

You had invited them. Maybe they feared being captured if they risked coming to Os Alta? Whatever their reason was, you’re sure it was a good one. You’d send them a letter after the wedding, asking them if maybe an important job had come up. But still, it hurt a little they wouldn’t attend your wedding.

The wedding itself seems to last minutes. You’re only focused on Nikolai. He holds your hand and you’re grateful he does. It helps keep you grounded. You had expected the wedding to be grand because after all, it is a royal one. But once you leave the chapel, hand in hand with Nikolai, you realise it turned out to be even better than you expected.

The two of you are silent as you walk through the halls of the palace. You see the door to your room in the distance, but Nikolai walks right past it. When you raise your eyebrows in question at him, he points at the door to his room in the distance.

‘They’d expect us to share a room. It’d be a bit weird if we got married but sleep in separate rooms.’ he says. ‘Don’t worry, the bed is large enough to fit both of us without having to cuddle close. Not that I would mind if you did.’

You chuckle at his words as he opens the door to his room. You’re thankful to be away from all the guests. You appreciated that they all came to attend the wedding, but you got tired of listening to their congratulations over and over again.

Once the door closes behind you, you immediately bend down to take off your heels. You watch as Nikolai shrugs off his suit jacket and runs a hand through his hair.

‘That wasn’t so bad, was it?’ he says.

‘It wasn’t bad at all.’ you say.

Nikolai studies your face. ‘But there’s something on your mind.’ he says.

‘I just...’ your voice trails off as you try to find the best way to voice your thoughts. Nikolai takes your hand and pulls you down to sit on the bed with him.

‘I thought they would come.’ you say softly. ‘I invited them, and I know I haven’t seen them in a while, but I thought they’d at least come to my wedding. I spent years with them.’

‘Maybe something else got in the way? Maybe something came up and they simply couldn’t make it?’ suggest Nikolai.

You shake your head. ‘Even if Kaz would plan a job, Jesper and Nina would burn down all of Ketterdam if a job prevented them from attending my wedding.’ you say. ‘I can’t think of a single reason why they wouldn’t come. I thought I meant more to them.’

‘What if you write them another letter? I’m sure if you just ask them, they’ll explain why they couldn’t be there.’ says Nikolai.

‘I was going to write them about it anyway.’ you say. ‘But first I want to change. As beautiful as this dress is, it’s incredibly heavy.’

‘I had a servant move some of your belongings here already.’ says Nikolai. ‘A part of the closet is now yours.’

‘Thank you.’ you say and you walk over to the closet, opening it. You pick one of your comfortable dresses and go to the bathroom to change. When you get back, you see Nikolai hasn’t changed yet. You didn't mind. He really looked good in a formal suit.

You move to sit behind Nikolai’s desk to write a letter to Ketterdam. You try to sound polite, but a part of you wants to just write what you’re actually thinking. But the Crows mean the world to you, and you don’t want to hurt them or piss them off.

Once you finish the letter, you seal it and hand it to a servant, telling them it’s urgent.

When you get back to the room, you find Nikolai sitting at his desk, fidgeting with something in his hands. Curiously, you walk over to him.

‘What are you doing?’ you say.

Nikolai looks up and holds out his hand to you. On his palm is a small boat, made out of a piece of rope. You carefully take it from his hand to examine it.

‘How did you learn how to make this?’ you as him.

He shrugs. ‘A lot of practicing.’ he says.

You smile and hand the little boat back to him. ‘It’s nice.’ you say. ‘Could you teach me how to make one?’

Nikolai nods and pulls out a second chair for you. He spends the rest of the evening trying to teach you how to make a boat out of a piece of rope. While his fingers move smoothly and create the boats with ease, you struggle with it. After all, he had probably done it for many years, whereas you’re only trying it out for the first time.

When you successfully finish your first boat, you decide to call it a night and go to sleep. Nikolai hadn’t been lying; the bed was big enough to fit the both of you comfortably without invading each other’s personal space.

Your usual routines don’t change much. Except for the fact you know share a room and a bed. And you notice there are more lingering glances between the two of you.

Like Nikolai had said, you’re expected to attend important meetings as well. You try to listen to it, but sometimes the meetings just aren’t interesting in your eyes. Luckily you always sit next to Nikolai, who is able to nudge your leg with his boot if he thinks you’re starting to zone out.

You have breakfast together every morning, expect for the mornings when Nikolai isn’t at the palace. You practice making boats out of rope, and you’re improving. Nikolai’s still turn out better than yours, but you’re getting there.

Every day, you ask if there’s mail for you. But somehow the Crows don’t send letters as frequently as they used to. And they had never given you a proper explanation as to why they didn’t attend your wedding.

Most of the times when you’re lost in thought, you’re thinking about Ketterdam. You hadn’t been there in months, not since the ball. It’s as if the longer you stay at the palace, the more you miss Ketterdam.

The city had always felt like home. And no matter how much you like spending time at the palace with Nikolai, you can’t help but to feel guilty for being away from Ketterdam for so long. You miss the city, and you miss your Crows.

Nikolai must have noticed something is bothering you, but you dodge his questions. You try to come up with excuses, but eventually, he pulls you aside and stands in front of the door, preventing you from slipping away.

‘Out with it.’ he says. ‘What is going on?’

You look at him, not sure what to say.

‘Is it our marriage? Do you regret it? Is that why you’re avoiding talking with me?’ says Nikolai.

‘Of course not!’ you quickly say. ‘Nikolai, I do not regret our marriage. I happen like you a lot.’

‘Then what is it?’ says Nikolai. ‘You’re not yourself and I can tell something is bothering you. Let me help you.’

‘I don’t know where to start.’ you say softly, lowering your head and looking at your feet. It all seemed so childish now.

‘I miss Ketterdam.’ you say softly. You feel tears burning behind your eyes. ‘I miss the harbour, and the tourists flooding the docks. I miss playing card games with Jesper, and going out with Nina. I miss talking with Inej and going over Kaz’ plans with him. I even miss reading to Wylan and trying to win a drinking contest from Matthias. I miss the Crow Club, and their laughter. I miss all of it.’

You see how Nikolai’s feet step closer to you and his hands cup your face, tilting it upward so you look at him. He brushes a tear away with his thumb.

‘It’s alright to miss Ketterdam.’ he says. ‘You left everything behind, I understand it if you miss it. It’s been your home for so long.’

‘But this is my home now.’ you say, your voice trembling slightly. ‘Here in Os Alta, with you. I shouldn’t long to go back to Ketterdam as much as I do.’

Nikolai smiles at you, but there’s a hint of sadness in his eyes. ‘I told you a long time ago I won’t let anyone else control the choices you make in life, sweetheart. If you want to go to Ketterdam, I think you should go.’ he says.

You stare up at him, letting his words sink in. ‘But I’m your wife. You’d let me go just like that?’ you say.

‘You are indeed my wife. But I’m not going to tell you how to live your life. If you think you’re happier in Ketterdam than you are at the palace, then you should go. Go and be happy.’ he says.

‘But I'm happy with you too.’ you say. ‘I just miss my home, that’s all.’

He smiles again. ‘Then you should go home. This is not goodbye forever, you know.’ he says.

‘Not goodbye forever.’ you say, repeating his words.

You stand on your toes and lean up to kiss him. Nikolai pulls you closer and you wrap your arms around his waist in response. When you pull back, he rests his forehead against yours.

‘Go.’ he says softly. ‘Go to your Ketterdam, go to your Crows. I’m sure they’d love to see you again.’

You nod and pull yourself out of his embrace. Nikolai watches you as you quickly pack a bag with some essentials. You can’t bear to look at him again as you walk past him, out of the room.

You didn’t know Nikolai followed you from a distance, to see you off. As soon as you got on a horse and left the gates, he stands at the top of the stairs that lead to the entrance of the palace.

He watches you as you become a smaller and smaller dot on the horizon. The triumvirate, who had seen the two of you leave, joins him on the steps, wondering what Nikolai is looking at.

‘Was that Y/N? says Zoya. ‘Where is she going?’

‘Back to Ketterdam.’ says Nikolai.

Zoya turns to Nikolai. ‘You let her go?’ she says. ‘Saints, Nikolai, why did you let her go?’

Nikolai doesn’t say anything and continues to look at the horizon. Genya is studying Nikolai’s face as he looks at you in the distance. Her lips part in surprise, but her eyes are sad.

‘Because he loves her.’ says Genya.

A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rules Here’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Marit

#HA 😌#me writing this & knowing what's gonna happen: hehe #nikolai lantsov #shadow and bone #grishaverse #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov fanfiction #nikolai lantsov fanfic #nikolai lantsov fanfics #nikolai lantsov fic #nikolai lantsov fics #shadow and bone fanfiction #shadow and bone fanfic #shadow and bone fanfics #shadow and bone fic #shadow and bone fics #two homes series

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janamelie · 3 years

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Dimension Jump XXI Report

I suppose I’m a DJ veteran now as this was my fifth consecutive one and the fourth at the Nottingham Crowne Plaza which is an expensive four-star hotel. Sharing with a friend helps keep the cost reasonable and honestly, it’s worth it for the sheer convenience of being right there in the hotel and being able to nip back to your room as required. (To be clear, you don’t have to stay in the hotel to attend the con. There are plenty of other hotels nearby.)

Plus there is always the chance that you’ll see a guest at breakfast as I did Danny once. He picked out a few pieces of fruit and nibbled at them before wandering over late to his photoshoot. What else would you expect from a cat though?

Friday

Myself and @downonthepharm-red-dwarf (Amy) had arrived the previous day so had plenty of time to be near the front of the queue for registration. Which meant we saw Hattie Hayridge arrive in a stunning designer coat and with smart luggage. She really brought her outfit A-game and looked great the whole weekend.

Once we’d presented our respective proofs of full Covid vaccination or a recent negative test, we were given our DJ passes and booklets. The latter has spaces for signatures from guests, an Order Of Events and various handy tips for the weekend.

The con kicks off at 5pm with an hour of gradual build-up in the Main Hall - they show videos from previous events, specially made titbits with various guests past and present such as Mark Dexter doing a mock guide to DJ and Rebecca Blackstone voicing Pree. It all helps with the atmosphere, as do the numerous RD posters dotted around the hotel.

Then it was time for the Opening Ceremony featuring various Fan Club team members and an overcrowded stage full of cardboard boxes - the joke was that they’d had too much time on their hands during lockdowns and bought loads of stuff online. It was obviously also a nod to Lister’s hoarding in “The Promised Land”.

The sketch featured a specially made shot of the AA adverts’ Starbug model landing outside the Crowne Plaza and an 80s computerised version of the lovely convention logo. You could tell a lot of loving effort had gone into the whole thing.

Once the guest line-up had been announced (I’ll get to that not-really-a-surprise-guest shortly), we went straight into the RD Pub Quiz, hosted by Hattie. DOTP and I had been joined at our table by Lapsang and Barbs from our Discord (No Kind Of Atmosphere) plus various other attendees we’d befriended.

Someone in the crowd yelled “I love you, Hattie!” to which she quipped “I’ve pulled already!” Another bloke shouted “Fuck off, she’s mine!” which led to a few shouts of “Fight!” When neither seemed keen to do so, Hattie joked: “Only two? That’s a bit pathetic!” and then we got started.

The quiz is hard, by design, but I’m good at quizzes and my team - No Kind Of Atmosphere after our Discord - came joint third which was gratifying. (I was on the winning team a few DJs ago, to blow my own trumpet for a moment. This is my report, after all.)

And then it was time for the first guest Q&A with - surprise, surprise - Johnny Vegas aka the Crit Cop in “Timewave”. Not a great episode but he more than made up for that with an appearance I can only describe as chaotic. Warning - DO NOT attempt to heckle him unless you want to be singled out and humiliated in front of the entire audience in a “Can’t look away” fashion which was nonetheless entertaining. The man in question tweeted about it afterwards and seems to have taken it in good spirit.

Once we’d moved on from encouraging people to leave unpleasant things in room 429, it turned out Johnny’s a big fan of the show and owned it on VHS (so did I). He thinks of the main characters, Holly would win at “Taskmaster” and had good reasons for that conclusion.

He was dubious about the pink costume he wore in “Timewave” as he thought it might take away from the character but said he eventually decided he needed to get over what he was wearing and just go for it. He also said one of his worst working moments was on “Benidorm” when he had to hold his breath underwater in a freezing swimming pool and his co-star kept forgetting her two lines so they had over 30 takes. Ouch.

Johnny left commenting that he got less love at his 50th birthday party. But we hadn’t seen the last of him by any means as people kept buying him drinks during the Auction, leading to him successfully bidding for one of the items on offer.

And then he was back for the Karaoke. Now if you - as he informed us - had to undergo emergency dental surgery in the morning and had practically lost your voice, would you sing karaoke? And not only that, would you sing a version of “Love On The Rocks” which lasted 11 minutes according to someone on Twitter (I wasn’t timing it, but I can believe it), followed by the full-length version of “American Pie”?

If you answered no, you’re clearly not Johnny Vegas. He went to bed so late that the unfortunate Fan Club team member assigned to look after him got a grand total of 90 minutes’ sleep.

Saturday

DOTP and I had paid for the Photoshoot with Mr Vegas, Danny John-Jules and Ray Fearon. We got in the queue at 9am which was when it was supposed to start. An hour later we were still waiting. Yep, Danny was late.

Once he made it to the hotel, I got my photo in front of a Science Room backdrop. You might think Mr Vegas would be hungover and rushing through it, but on the contrary, he was still enjoying the hell out of proceedings which was refreshing to see. Since he’d been added to the line-up too late to be in the souvenir booklet, he signed extra inserts for the Fan Club which they handed out to everyone at the later Autograph sessions so attendees got his autograph after all even though he’d finally left. That’s what I call throwing yourself into an event.

Next up was a combined Q&A with Danny and Ray (originally separate but Danny’s lateness meant they were teamed up). This wasn’t a problem at all though - on the contrary, it worked really well as the chumminess between them added to the vibe. Also it was Ray’s first convention so he probably preferred to have Danny backing him up, especially since the poor man tripped on his way to the stage and almost fell. I don’t think he was hurt but I cringed with secondhand embarrassment and empathy. He wasn’t the only one to fall foul of the edge of the stage that weekend; I think it was the slightly raised dancefloor in front of it.

As is usual for Danny, we were treated to over half an hour of what you can only really describe as a stream of consciousness as he pontificated about various things. He and Ray did also talk about working together on “Death In Paradise” and Ray described his worst working experience there - he had to play a scene in a club in 45 degree heat with a live snake wrapped around his neck!

Ray is attractive in a “Hollywood hunk” way and Danny was clearly conscious of this, joking that he’d “brought his own security with him” and muttering “I’m better-looking anyway!” But all in a jokey way as they’re clearly friends.

Danny had come from filming and dropped a heavy hint that he’s appearing in a Dickens adaptation which I imagine will be shown at Christmas as they generally are. He also complained that Craig Charles never answers his phone: “You send him a message and he answers it on Twitter a month later!” (Interestingly, Chris Barrie later mentioned a recent phone conversation with Craig so make of that what you will.)

Ray was quieter but happy to talk about the vagaries of showbiz and typecasting - he said that due to his Shakespearean background he gets a lot of serious roles so people were genuinely surprised that he could also do comedy but “I was always funny!” He also gently teased Danny about the age of some of his references before admitting he still finds Tommy Cooper funny.

Danny usually performs “Tongue-tied” with a good grace when inevitably asked to by an audience member but perhaps it’s finally starting to pall as this time he did it in the style of Oliver Reed’s Bill Sykes and included a lot of X-rated references to cunnilingus etc. It was entertaining though.

Next up was a live Q&A (over Zoom) with Chris Barrie. Danny decided to stick around as he wanted to show Chris something he’d ordered online. It took a while to get the cameras in the right position for Chris to be able to see it and Danny needed a knife to open the parcel, leading Chris to quip “Is this a good time for me to step out for some lunch?”

However, it turned out to be worth it as it was a custom-made Ace Rimmer doll which impressed Chris with its quality and he complimented the maker.

Danny and Ray then departed for their lunch and to take part in the Coffee Lounge which this year had reduced its numbers for Covid-related reasons and held a ballot for entry in the interests of fairness. Amy and I didn’t get in but happily stayed for the rest of Chris’s Q&A.

In the “working from home” spirit, Chris was in a hoodie in his living room as opposed to his more usual smart suit. He was suitably relaxed and revealed he got through lockdown by concentrating on the things which make him happy, such as his hobbies, his garden and his family. His favourite episodes are “Marooned”, “Dimension Jump” and - less predictably - “Twentica”. He also referred to a recent “mannerly, as he would call it” phone conversation with Craig. No details but it had clearly been a positive experience.

Amy decided to liven up the ending of his Q&A by asking a vitally important, “TPL”-related question. Whom would Rimmer find more attractive, a female version of Lister or a female version of Cat?

Once the laughter had died down and Chris had bought some time by pointing out that “neither of them are women”, he gave the question appropriate consideration. He pondered whether Rimmer would be more taken by the “simple charms” of Lister or the “feline grace” of Cat. This next bit is courtesy of Amy as my memory isn’t infallible: He said it’d be a choice between a feline form or a rounder, a bit more slovenly woman - he wouldn’t want the perfectly feline woman because she might not like his imperfections, but he also wouldn’t want someone who ate curry three times a day. “Basically, a balance would be ideal.”

That was the last question but Chris provided a little more entertainment as he had a “How do you turn this off then?” moment a la Gordon the computer in “Better Than Life” and made amusing faces as he figured it out. If it was anyone but Chris I’d think it was a deliberate reference to that but I think he was genuinely befuddled.

We then broke for lunch, followed by Autographs with Hattie, Danny, Ray and Norman Lovett. I got the latter three to sign the “TPL” poster I’d brought with me but gave Hattie the booklet instead as it seemed more tactful. She complimented the dress I was wearing and I returned the compliment, telling her how much the fans appreciate the effort she makes with her DJ outfits.

Norman commented how there’s a version of the “TPL” poster he isn’t on, bemusedly. Fortunately mine was the version including him.

I spent the rest of the afternoon chilling in the bar with Amy, Lapsang and Barbs, chatting to other attendees. Graphic Designer Matthew Clark was now in the Merchandise Room with various props from Series XII and “TPL” including the Starbug manual used onscreen. I got his autograph on my poster but it’s an incomprehensible squiggle. Oh well. He was very friendly and easy to talk to.

After a break for dinner, the Main Hall reopened for the Costume Competition. This seems to get better every DJ, with an amazing “Greyscale Rimmer” who was discomfiting to be around due to the corpse-like makeup, a Natalina Pushkin, a Nirvanah Crane who could almost have been Jane Horrocks herself and a Diving Suit Cat from “BTE”. Other entries included Rimmer’s Mum, “Giraffes who were armed and dangerous” and a Confidence And Paranoia who were later pictured at the bar chatting to Paranoia himself, Lee Cornes.

We then had a special video message from Doug Naylor which I won’t go into as I’m sure everyone’s already heard the details. Suffice to say, his tone was positive.

The second Auction was hosted by Ian Boldsworth who made it more entertaining by adding his own commentary to each item. This was followed by a stand-up set from Norman. It was amusing but he misjudged the mood a bit, I feel. When you’re waiting for a disco to start and it’s already hours late due to Danny’s tardiness, you don’t particularly want to contemplate your own mortality. We were here to get away from all that, as much as possible.

Anyway, the Disco was a lot of fun even if Dave Benson Phillips’ presence as host was sorely missed. Hattie danced for the best part of an hour alongside everyone else. The stand-in DJs did their job and I stayed until the end. The final two songs were “Bohemian Rhapsody” and … “Tongue-tied”.

Sunday

Not being in the Sunday Photoshoot, Amy and I had a nice leisurely breakfast and got over last night’s festivities before the first Q&A, live over Zoom with Robert Llewellyn.

This was hosted by Ian Boldsworth who in his capacity as Dave era audience warm-up knows Robert well. Clearly well enough to get away with teasing him relentlessly about not being at the con in person until poor Robert was a mess of Krytenesque guilt.

His protestations that he’d been scheduled to be in Munich this weekend but no longer was (he was at home) only made things worse. Ian: “Oh, so that’s two sets of people you’ve disappointed now! Stop saying yes to things!” It was hilarious and Robert took it in its intended spirit. Also Ian was getting a measure of revenge for Robert - in character as Kryten - dry humping him at recordings. One attendee asked “With the groinal attachment?!”

Robert admitted that he finds Kryten’s various groinal attachments hilarious and if he was writing the show they’d be in every episode. He praised Doug’s restraint.

He also admitted that in “TPL” he had an earpiece to have his lines fed to him. Since it’s controlled by an iPad, certain unscrupulous cast members took great delight in feeding him rude ones.

He still intends to update “The Man In The Rubber Mask” but atm “Fully Charged” is consuming a lot of his time as it’s become much more successful than he anticipated and he’s in charge of several people.

Surprisingly, he would hate appearing in RD without the Kryten makeup, both because it’s become much quicker to apply and because it provides him with a shield and he becomes Kryten and forgets stagefright. He still can’t watch “DNA” for that reason.

Lapsang, who played Kryten in “Into The Gloop”, asked Robert if he’d seen it. He hadn’t but said he was now very curious and would find a way to.

Next up was Lee Cornes aka Paranoia who said he originally auditioned for the lead roles and like the other unsuccessful actors got the consolation prize of a guest appearance. Upon being asked if he’d gone out for a drink with Craig Ferguson’s Confidence, he said no because at the time they had a frosty relationship due to rumours that Craig was plagiarising other comics’ jokes. Lee said it was all very silly and he’s since apologised.

Interestingly, Lee is a qualified science teacher and carried on with that career alongside his media one, leading to surreal situations where his pupils would ask: “Sir? Were you on the telly last night?” “Yes.” “Are we on the telly now, sir?”

Someone asked a good question - what would Lister’s Paranoia be like now 33 years later? Lee would be willing to reprise the role but isn’t sure it would work as the original had a childish quality whereas he feels now the character would be a lot darker and less funny. Lee was both thoughtful and entertaining in his responses.

He was followed onstage by Hattie and Norman, who resolutely refused to rise to the bait of an audience member attempting to stir up a rivalry between them. That only works when one isn’t the nicest person you could meet.

A tactless audience member asked both if they’d watched “TPL” instead of directing the question at Norman. Luckily Hattie had seen it and particularly enjoyed the cat flap joke although she felt there was a little too much focus on the guest cast.

Norman didn’t really watch RD after he left but Hattie has seen Norman’s early episodes as he lent them to her back when she was originally cast as Hilly for research purposes. Bear in mind this was 1988 when they weren’t even available on VHS so presumably he recorded them off the TV.

Hattie confirmed with a sigh that she’s simply never been asked to return in any capacity: “That’s the short answer.” What the hell, I’ll say it one more time - Bring Back Hattie! One episode, that’s all I ask. As it stands, it’s starting to look like a pointed and deliberate snub which mystifies me.

We then broke for lunch, followed by Rob Grant and Paul Jackson. For obvious reasons they didn’t go into the current legal mess, opting instead to entertain the fans with the story of how they met and their early pre-RD work (Rob and Doug as freelance writers for Paul’s producer).

We saw some clips from their early shows including “Three Of A Kind” with Lenny Henry, Tracy Ullman and … later magician David Copperfield; apparently they all had the same agent and Paul took on David as a favour. For a 40 year old show it held up pretty well and was in much better sound and picture quality than older shows often are. “Carrott’s Lib” was just as funny.

It’s a bit hard to summarise but this session was entertaining and gripping. Rob still wants to write another RD novel and I believe there’s nothing actually stopping him as both he and Doug had an option to write a second solo novel. So we’ll see.

The final Q&A was Matthew Clark who was very informative and interesting, showing us numerous production stills from Series XII and “TPL” and talking us through them. There was a groan when time was called before he was finished.

By now time was running short and Amy and I went back to the room to pack and leave our luggage with reception before watching the start of “Dibbley Family Fortunes”. Since I knew I wouldn’t have time to watch it all, I instead nipped upstairs to Autographs with Lee and Ian, timing it perfectly as the queue had almost vanished.

Ian was still performing, drawing scornful attention to the fact that Lee had a longer queue: “Can you imagine all these people queueing to see Lee Cornes?!” It sounds rude out of context but he was clearly joking.

I decided to ask Lee what flavour the yogurt Paranoia eats was. He said it didn’t really taste of anything as it was the cheapest, nastiest canteen yogurt available and was also starting to curdle under the studio lights so eating it can’t have been much fun.

Since I now had about 15 minutes before I had to go, I caught a bit of Dibbley Family Fortunes, said goodbye to Amy, Lapsang and Barbs and then dashed off to catch the tram to the train station. Another great DJ.

#red dwarf

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