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horreurscopes · 6 months

Note

So, I could be out-of-bounds here since I think you meant it as dark humor, but what did you mean in the tags of that 'israel-hamas war' post? I suspect you(and op) are criticizing that framing because Israel is obviously demolishing much more than 'Hamas'(and probably doing a terrible job of actually targeting terrorists- they seem content to reduce Gaza to rubble even if the brass of Hamas escapes). I'm guessing that by saying "joining the Israel-Hamas war on the side of Hamas" you mean, if they're going to conflate Palestinians with Hamas unilaterally, then you're saying, whatever the media wants to call Palestinian civilians- you still support them. I am asking anyways though bc, given reports of increasing antisemitic activity in the US and Europe, I am worried about the potential for blurring lines between the cause of Palestinian civilians and the alt-right individuals who are likely masking their antisemitism in the context of being anti-Zionist. Although Israel's government has been the source of Palestinian loss for decades, (it seems to me that) even joking about supporting terrorism is enough to reinforce the persuasion that Israeli/Palestinian Jews and Palestinian Arabs must be mutually-exclusive peoples. I don't think it's fully rational per se(tho I'm not claiming to have all the relevant information myself, and I'm white US American goyim so like- grain of salt-), but I think that existential fear is the incredible hurdle facing Zionist Jews. (Idc too much about the opinions of non-Jewish Zionists bc I don't grant that they are dealing with the same emotional complications at this time, although that doesn't stop me from arguing w my acquaintances abt their callous acceptance of US/Israeli propaganda.) I just think..... isn't it overall harmful to allow anti-semitic rhetoric, even used sarcastically, to enter the genuine humanist cause for Palestinian liberation? Or, have I misunderstood, and you actually are not in opposition to Hamas, or something else I didn't think of?

hi! thank you for approaching the question thoughtfully and with curiosity, i really appreciate it. i was being kind of flippant with that meme, but this is the only ask i'm going to reply to on the matter given that i am neither jewish nor arab, so i'm going to answer in earnest:

hamas is a political resistance movement with an armed wing, much like the black panthers party was, and like the bpp, a large part of the organization is dedicated to social welfare and civic restoration.

they have stated that they are not against judaism, but against the zionist project. they openly support political solutions.

labeling hamas a terrorist group is a propaganda tactic used by the united states and israel to justify the horrors of settler colonization.

hamas is palestine, a part of it, even if palestinians like any other demographic on earth, are not a unified, single-minded people. to declare hamas a separate entity falls prey to the imperialist lie that there is an enemy to fight "fairly" within the people they are displacing and exterminating.

am i rejoicing in the deaths of israelis? of course not. killing civilians and taking civilian hostages is a war crime, whether it is committed by the opresor or the oppressed. the israeli government is not its people, and many jews, within israel as well as in the US, are bravely risking their lives to publicly dissent the criminal acts of the israeli government. all loss of human life is a tragedy.

no one should ever be faced with the choice between annihilation and murderous violence after exhausting all other forms of peaceful protest and being massacred like animals.

but why is it that we consider a resistance group formed within a population with a median age of eighteen a terrorist group, and not the IDF, a US-backed military force with an annual budget of twenty billion dollars?

i am currently reading hamas and civil society in gaza by sara roy to learn more about hamas and the history of israel in palestine. i'll remember to post more excerpts which i am admittedly terrible at.

but all of the information above can be found by reading wikipedia. investigating with duckduckgo searches (not gonna pretend google isn't prioritizing propaganda, to be fair), and reading reliable news coverage like aljazeera and the many journalists who are at risk of, or have lost their lives, reporting on the ground.

i have also appreciated reading posts from @determinate-negation @opencommunion @fairuzfan @ibtisams and @bloglikeanegyptian amongst others

in conclusion:

#palestine

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crimeronan · 8 months

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guys. okay. rubs my temples.

i have blacklisted every word u can Possibly think of to block posts i do not want to see and somehow keep seeing them. so Please know that this is not a shit-starting post. hence why it's unrebloggable. because i legitimately just want to communicate to people in my immediate sphere.

it is... Not Acceptable Or Appropriate... to make/reblog posts referring to a collective of "jews" or "jewish people" in response to israel's genocide of palestine.

what i mean by this are posts along the lines of "what jews don't realize is-" "i wish american jews knew-" "can't wait to watch jewish bloggers come up with the worst takes imaginable-" etc etc etc.

it is similarly Not Acceptable Or Appropriate to refer to rabbis, synagogues, jewish practice, and other aspects of judaism/jewish culture as a monolithic hivemind that's loyal to israel. this includes "you're all being brainwashed by your rabbis/synagogues" "synagogues are zionist institutions" "stop speaking hebrew until your people stop committing war crimes" etc etc etc.

your kneejerk reaction (if u are a leftist goy) will likely be along the lines of: but it's simply like referring to a collective of british people or american people wrt imperialism, colonialism, and war crimes. you don't mean LITERALLY all jews, just like you don't mean literally all brits or americans.

this is unfortunately a false equivalence because of the antisemitic history and violence behind the idea of Monolithic Jews and Dual Loyalties. there is a quick overview of some of The Problems here; jewish scholarship and discussion of this is incredibly broad and varied... because jewish people are incredibly broad and varied.

like i'm fucking begging. you have Got to knock it off. i was gonna say something snide about how it's telling that i'm seeing a lot more posts About The Jews than about the fundamentalist christians who fanatically support israel's right-wing fascist govt, but like.... god i don't care i don't care i don't want to be writing this. It Just Sucks.

That's It. It Just Sucks

while i'm here, since i don't plan to talk about this anymore unless i have important resources to share: ACTUAL helpful things you can do are to keep an eye on the news and communicate with your own governments. for americans (just bc i am american) -- the biden administration has pledged to work with israel to allow humanitarian aid into gaza. it's important that the public pressure for that to happen continues & that the documentation of what's happening in palestine continues.

the more you guys turn your issue into an issue with "the jews" or "jewish people," the more time we're going to waste explaining why this is not acceptable or appropriate. which is frustrating because there is shit out there that Matters A Whole Lot Fucking More Right Now.

so keep talking about what matters. and please please PLEASE think for two seconds before you make any posts referencing jewish people.

#if u did not know about the dual loyalty history. i would recommend that u not make/reblog any posts about jewish people at all period.#given that like. u do not know enough to recognize and stop dogwhistles from proliferating in ur stuff. u know.#antisemitism #israel #palestine #current events #long post #i am a goy my jewish partner of 8 years HAS read this over and approved it prior to posting tho.

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babyjakes · 11 months

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if this was a movie.

〈 disclaimer: this blog posts content not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. minors are strictly prohibited from viewing, sharing, or interacting with this blog. for more information on this blog's commitment to protecting minors, read our full statement here. 〉

summary | your nerdy best friend is gonna make you a star.

pairing | nerd!best friend!jake jensen x reader

warnings | jakey is lowkey a perv but that's exactly how we love him. best friend!jakey except he's so down bad for reader. reader is nervous/inexperienced. filming/making porn. fingering (both holes >:^)). heavy clit focus, my beloved <3. clit slapping. squirting. praise and humiliation. so many petnames (it's jakey, duh.) me again picking a taylor title bc i have no impulse control.

word count | 1,165

an | hehe well :^) i've been thinking about nerdy bestie jakey for a while and i just thought i'd write a little something for him, i've been thinking a LOT about pornstar/director au's lately and this felt like a cute little way to enter the genre. hope you guys enjoy, please help me spread my love for jakey by reblogging!!! <3

"A-Are you sure about this, Jakey?" you ask, wide-eyed as you lean back carefully against your best friend's second-hand leather sofa. In front of you, the blonde-haired boy fiddles with his camera, trying to get the angle of the tripod just right.

Jake looks up at you through the round frames of his glasses, giving you a confident smile. "'Course I am, sweetcheeks," he promises as he finally finds a shot he likes. "Remember all those filming classes I took in high school? Looks like they're finally gonna pay off," he chuckles.

"I-I just, I don't know," you admit shyly as your friend hits record, a small red light shining to the side of the camera's wide lens. "Will people even wanna watch this sort of thing?"

Jake furrows his brow as he crouches down in front of you on the floor, reaching out a hand to rub your knee as you hug your legs up to your chest nervously. "Of course they will, cutie. You're gonna be a hit, just wait and see. Guys online will go crazy over a sweet little thing like you." He gently places a large hand over each of your knees, easing them to either side of the couch to give the camera a full view of your sheer lace panties. "These are so pretty, honey," Jake murmurs as he carefully runs a few fingers over your clothed pussy, causing heat to rise up in your cheeks as you let out a soft whimper. "Don't be nervous, sweetie. Try to forget the camera's even there, yeah? S'just you and me, I got you."

You turn your head to the side, too embarrassed to watch as your best friend continues petting you lightly over the thin strip of fabric covering your most sensitive places. "Mmm," you can hear the smile in Jake's voice as he notes, "you're already getting wet, sweetheart. Look so sweet like this, doing so good for me." He focuses a single finger to rub against the small damp patch in the center of your panties. "Right there," he sighs happily as he takes his time teasing you. "What do you say, pretty girl? Should we give your adoring audience a closer look?"

His hands come up to hook under the waistline of the undies as he gently eases them off of you. Your legs instinctually close again, but he's quick to open you back up for the camera, spreading you nice and wide as your cheeks only burn more with humiliation and uncertainty. "There," Jake coos, giving the viewers the exact shot he knows they've been waiting for. "There she is, oh my," he chuckles as he drags a finger through your leaking folds, stringing out your arousal for you and everyone watching to see. "Look at how excited you are, baby. Here, why don't we just-" his voice lulls a bit as he uses both of his large hands to spread your dripping cunt further open, his mouth practically watering at the sight. "Oh honey," he murmurs. "You've been keeping this all to yourself? What a shame, s'the prettiest little pussy I've ever seen."

Your muscles twitch as the man keeps you suspended in anticipation, just lightly manipulating your flesh this way and that to give the camera an array of angles and views, with all of you spread out so helplessly, of course. "Wanna make sure they can see everything, sweetie," he explains in a soothing manner as he pulls back the hood around your hardened bundle of nerves, giving the exposed head a quick few swipes with his finger. You gasp, jerking at the sudden burning pleasure. "Mhmm, just as I thought," the blonde observes aloud. "Already so sensitive, aren't you, cutie? You're very swollen down here, guess I'm not surprised."

Jake brings the pads of two of his digits down to begin circling over your drenched hole. "Easy, sweet thing. M'gonna stretch you open now, okay? Wanna let your fans see how tight this little baby pussy is." You let out a fluttering sigh as he coaxes his fingers into you. "That's it," he encourages you, "fuck, so fucking tight, pretty girl." He takes a moment with his fingers fully inserted, spreading them apart to let your viewers see your poor little hole being stretched as far as it can manage.

Once he's satisfied with the spectacle he's given, he begins working his fingers in and out of you, his pace gradually increasing as your legs fall further apart while you hum and moan softly to yourself. "Good, that's my good girl," he smiles as he surprises you by spitting down on your puckered asshole, earning a gasp from you as your knees tremble.

He begins teasing the entrance to your virgin bottom with the pad of his thumb, biting his tongue in concentration as you begin falling apart beneath his touch. "J-Jakey," you groan softly in humiliation, "please, I- oh!" Your protests are cut off by a strained whine escaping your lips, his thick digit having forced its way past the tight outer ring of your poor rosebud. "Jakey, Jakey," you whimper, your eyes rolling back on their own as your head falls to the side, the pressure in your tummy becoming more and more urgent.

"C'mon, cutie. Keep making those pretty sounds for me. You gonna be a good girl and cum for the camera?" All you can manage in response is a string of incoherent whimpers and whines. Jake chuckles almost cruelly at the pathetic state he's brought you to. "I'll take that as a yes. Almost there, baby. Here, let's help you out a little, huh?"

His free hand finds your clit, tugging back on the surrounding skin to expose the poor bundle of nerves as he again swipes mercilessly at it, reducing you nearly to tears as an unbearable tightness forms in your gut. "Please, please!" you pant, your hands scrambling to grip at the couch beneath you as you hurtle to the edge of your climax, well past the point of no return.

"Come on, sweetheart. Give us a big one," Jake cheers as you cry out in euphoria, your body convulsing violently as your orgasm tears through you. "That's it, that's my girl," Jake beams proudly as he rips his fingers out of you, smacking his drenched digits down against your poor exposed button to force you to squirt. Across your entire body, your skin is ablaze. Your high feels like it lasts for entire minutes before finally beginning to cease, tiny shocks and tingles shooting through your limbs as you float down, struggling to catch your breath.

Through half-closed lids, you can barely look out at the blonde-haired boy kneeling before you. He smiles gently, easing his fingers out of you as you let out a final set of jumbled whimpers. "That's my girl," he says again, reaching up to cup your cheek softly. "I just knew it. My girl's gonna be a star."

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chrissv4mp · 2 months

Text

tornado warnings 🌪⚠️

warnings: vulgar language, maybe gets a little sexual but not real smut, getting back with an ex (don't do this seriously its the WORST decision you'll ever make)

author's note: GUYS i am so obsessed with sabrina carpenter so i js HADDDDD to make a matt oneshot based on one of her songs!!

edit: yall are getting this early bc i couldn't wait to post it & i also just hate having stuff in my drafts!!

_____________

"matt," you laughed, stumbling over your own feet as you tried to make your way to him.

"c'mon, just a few more steps. don't fall now, darling." he joked, and you swear you felt nauseous at the thought of it.

your eyes glanced to the ground, and you forgot how high up you were. was the alcohol just making it seem higher?

you took the last few steps with caution, and right at the last one, you stepped on your shoelace, causing you to stumble forward.

"shit," matt gasped, grabbing your forearm tight but gentle enough that it wouldn't hurt. he pulled you back, the both of you falling on your asses on the roof.

matt laughed at your shocked expression, acting as if you hadn't almost broken bones. he was always like this, never feeling anything. and even if he did, he would just find it funny.

"what the fuck?" you gasped, and before you could even yell at him, you started to laugh. his laughter was contagious, everyone would agree.

his hold on you didn't last long, quickly pushing you out of his arms and getting to his feet.

your smile faded as you watches him crawl back into the house through the window, leaving you by yourself.

what kind of boyfriend does that?

you shook your head, fending off the bad thoughts and quickly thinking of how many other guys were worse. matt wasn't even a bad boyfriend.

he just... was a little scared of relationships. it was the commitment, he always said.

_____________

sighing, you stared up at the ceiling of the office, the only sound in the room being a pen writing on paper and your quiet breaths.

"so, back to what we talked about last session, your boyfriend?--"

"ex." you corrected, looking back in your therapists direction.

"oh, i'm sorry ms. y/l/n. uhm, you said you felt unwanted, but that you still believed he had a good heart, is that correct?" the man asked, looking down at the paper in his clipboard.

"yeah, yes, that's right." you breathed, fidgeting with your hands as you looked around the room.

"you also said that you planned to breakup with him, cut off all communication. have you spoken to him since said breakup?" he tilted his head, looking up from his clipboard.

shit.

"no, no i haven't. never saw him. never kissed him." you said, your voice growing quiet as you said the last words.

if he didn't see it, it doesn't exist. he doesn't have to know.

the man sighed, taking his glasses off before placing them on a table to the side, "ms. y/l/n, this is a safe space, you know that. we've been doing these sessions for a little over 7 months now, and i'm sure that you know everything you tell me in here is private and is never spoken of outside this office."

"i know, i do feel that this is a safe space. and i swear to you i'm telling the truth. im over that son of a bitch. he's the worst." your lips curved into a reassuring smile, and unsurprisingly it hadn't helped your case.

"okay," he sighed.

_____________

you glanced at the clock on the wall, sitting at the island in your kitchen as you finished up some work on your computer.

your phone was left untouched next to your mouse pad and you silently prayed that it remained silent.

the screen lit up, and an array of messages suddenly blew up your phone.

great, just what you wanted!

you didn't take your eyes off the computer screen, but as soon as you saw matts contact name in the corner of your eye, you couldn't help but grab the phone.

matt🫀: 'can i come over???'

matt🫀: 'nvm im already On my way!'

matt🫀: 'bringing snacks btw, we should watch a movie if ur down'

matt🫀: 'was gonna ask what u wanted but u take centuries to reply soooo coke and kit-kats it is :)

"what?" you whispered, chuckling quietly at his texts.

no, you can't laugh. none of this was funny, and he knows that he's crossing your boundaries right now. why does he always do this?

you: you js keep gaining red flags every day, we're not playing capture the flag, ykw that right?🚩

matt🫀: we're always playing capture the flag, the only flags i collect r green tho!💋

he couldn't be serious. was he even real?

you: sassy man apocalypse has started yet again😱

matt🫀: you take the man out of the sassy apocalypse, not the sassy out the man🤷‍♀️

you: your the worst

matt🫀: you're*

your thumb hit the power button, and not even a minute later, the doorbell rung.

having forgotten about your laptop, you quickly jumped to your feet and ran to the door. a smile was plastered on your lips, and you couldn't seem to get rid of it.

why must you always fall for his tricks. he's such a dick.

"hey, darling," he smiled, his backpack hanging off one shoulder and a plastic grocery bag hanging off the other.

his pet name caught you off guard, and you swore your knees almost gave out. no man has ever made you as weak as matt has.

who does he think he is?

"hi, matt." you smiled, and he didn't hesitate when he leaned down to kiss you.

your hand went to his chest, pushing him back and moving your head to the side even if your hand kept him back.

he scoffed in fake offense, pulling away, "you're no fun, y'know?"

"i'm fully aware." you laughed before moving to the side to let him in.

he went straight to your room, having known your house so well since he had been living with you for a while before.

all doubtful thoughts were thrown out the window as you made your way to the bedroom. you caught matts eye as you made you walked in.

"c'mere," he smiled, gesturing you over with a wave of his hand, "what movie should we watch?"

you couldn't help but smile, almost forgetting all the prominent red flags that he had. he was the worst.

or maybe he wasn't as bad as you thought. maybe it was just you.

he was good for you. he kept you on your feet, kept you grounded.

"baby." he said, his voice breaking you out of your thoughts, "come here,"

matt smiled as he patted the empty spot next to him, and you wasted no time in getting on the bed and situating yourself beside him.

his hand grazes your thigh as he reaches over you for the remote, turning the TV on before scrolling through endless amounts of movies.

"superhero movie?" he asked quietly, looking over at you as you shook your head.

"wow, surprising." he joked, clicking through some more movies that didn't catch either of your eyes.

matt ditched the remote on what used to be his nightstand before he rolled over to face you.

his eyes were still that deep blue that you loved, and the smirk on his face didn't help as you tried to look away.

"i missed you," matt muttered, his voice soft as his fingers danced along the skin of your arm.

your breath hitched as his hand found the hem of your shirt and went under it, that stupid smirk on his face making it impossible for you to deny him.

"matt, we can't--"

"shh," his lips were dangerously close to yours now, and you didn't even want to question how he got so close to you in just a few seconds.

"there's not a rule that we can't, and we both know you need this. just let me relieve your stress, yeah?"

what the fuck is matthew sturniolos secret.

his hand traveled further up your shirt until it landed on your breast, and you couldn't help the gasp that escapes your lips as he squeezed it.

with his free hand, he propped himself on top of you, knees on either side of your body as he leaned down to your lips.

you couldn't resist him, not now that he was corrupting all your senses. all you knew was him now.

"no, matt." you muttered against his lips, your hand gentle against his chest as you tried but failed to push him away.

you couldn't do this anymore. it was killing you. he didn't want anything more than just a fuck-buddy and you both knew that.

so why was it so hard to push him away?

"matt," you gasped as you felt his lips on your neck, his smell intoxicating as your eyes fluttered shut.

no, you wouldn't do this anymore.

"matt, get off." your gentleness was gone now as you pushed him with real strength, he didn't give a single fuck about you, really.

the boy didn't hesitate to stop, quickly climbing off you before plopping right back next to you on the bed.

"shit, i'm sorry, baby." he muttered, real worry in his voice.

you shook your head, sitting up as you covered you face with your hands.

"please, just leave. we can't do this anymore. seriously." you sighed, tears pricking in your eyes.

"but--" matt tried, but you cut him off just as he was about to start begging.

"get out, matt." your hands went back to your sides, but you didn't dare look at him.

he would only reel you back in.

the boy sighed, frowning as he collected his stuff slowly.

he stopped when he reached the doorway of your bedroom, turning back to look at you, and this time you looked back.

"i do love you, y/n." he said quietly before leaving, shutting the door gently.

your lips parted as you took in the words that had just left his mouth.

no, it was a lie. it always was.

it wasn't true, right?

this was just another red flag to add to the list. all the lies he'd say.

fuck, he drives you crazy.

. . .

#sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo fluff #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo imagine #matthew sturniolo #matt sturniolo angst #sturniolo #sturniolo imagine #the sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo fanfic

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clemswinecorner-socials · 7 months

Text

Anthem of the Post [BC]

previous part

yourusername

liked by krisgusti, janpeteh and others

yourusername bo, you've done so incredible these past months. so much passion went into writing this song and performing it and you gave so much love to everyone involved, and to those who weren't. the dedication I have seen from you was simply incredible. and my god, the performance you put on! I fall in love over and over and over again. You've been such a character around the arena, just by being your handsome charismatic self, and it has been so beautiful to see you build all these incredible connections through your love for music. I'm so incredibly proud of you and to be with you, words can't explain (I tried my best). I can't believe I get the same commitment from you that you gave this, because I've never seen anyone as involved, committed and dedicated as you. I love you, I'm proud of you and I really, really treasure you. tagged bojan_cvjeticanin

Posted May 19th, 2023

yourusername the anthem of the post is "home" krisgusti 💙💙 jokeroutfan i will cryyy omg you truly deserve each other paidatonriehuja we 💚 bojan randomfanacc WHAT how did we not realize they were dating bye yourbestie excuse me while I just jump on the highway bojan_cvjeticanin Hvala, ljuba. I don't know how I would have done it without you, I appreciate your support so, so, so much <3

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yourusername

Monaco

liked by janpeteh, arthur_leclerc and others

yourusername and now... time for one of the most iconic raceweeks of the year, Monaco I am ready!!! tagged f1, charles_leclerc, bojan_cvjeticanin

posted May 24th, 2023

lauracwinter good to have you back! randomfan you might be ready but i don't think bojan is 😭😭😭

bojan_cvjeticanin i was not ready for a train ride from London to Nice, i am ready for monaco 😂

ferrarifan let's pray for a good home race 🙏🏼 yourfriend oh i am SO jealous yourfan no anthem of the day?!

yourusername i'ts going to be "anthem of the weekend" for work-related posts from now on, since i post a lot during race weekends :)) personal posts will deffo have aotd though!!

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yourusername

liked by pierregasly, juremacek and others

yourusername take your rockstar boyfriend to work vacation💛 (Anthem of the post is Rich Girl by Gwen Stefani) tagged bojan_cvjeticanin

posted May 30th, 2023

nace_jordan next time can we come too? randomfollower such a banger familymember looks lovely y/n! enjoy 🤗🤗 jokeroutfan bojan looks so good in these oh em gee motorsportsfan omg i LOVE those cards and posters, i neeeeed anotherfollower WHERE. do i find a bojan that will look at me like the first pic because 🫠🫠 friend hope the the well-deserved break is treating you well bojan!

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yourusername

liked by janpeteh, paidatonriehuja and others

yourusername first 12h of Barcelona <33 Anthem of the post is EAEA - Blanca Paloma (As per Bojan's request) tagged bojan_cvjeticanin

posted May 31st, 2023

wbuxtonofficial that paella looks fantastic, i'm going to need the adress of that one randomfollower looks like it's been a rollercoaster😭😭 jokeroutfan omg girl i'm so sorry, how many times did bojan sing eaea

yourusername (as much as i love blanca) too much for a short flight. and he continued when we landed.

motorsportsfan why isnt she with drivers? its media day soon bojan_cvjeticanin bebeeee did you have to with that last one :(

yourusername yes i have to show you ur just a lil guy bojan_cvjeticanin how am i supposed to project you from scary people like this

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yourusername

liked by krisgusti, lauracwinter and others

yourusername barca with boja (n) post-race edition Anthem of the post: La camisa negra - Juanes (Bojan's version) tagged bojan_cvjeticanin

posted June 6th, 2023

lilymhe girl slayed the dump 🤝🏼🤝🏼 jokeroutlover BOJAN WITH THE DOG?? randomfollower ahhh how have you been enjoying Spain?

yourusername i love it here so much!! I did a gap year in valencia before and I just love being back surrounded by the spanish language and good weather :)) also Bojan speaking lots of spanish is a big plus ;) randomfollower i can imagine 🤪🤪 hope to have you back soon!

jokeroutfan i can't with the selfie bojan is so yourfriend you need to come back to valencia asappp i miss you over here amor

yourusername i knowww, i'm so busy 🥲🥲 but i'll text u!!

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yourusername

liked by liamlawson, bojan_cvjeticanin and others

yourusername some unseen eurovision bts 🫶🏼🫶🏼 (Anthem of the post; cha cha cha) tagged maemuller, bojan_cvjeticanin, paidatonriehuja

posted June 11th, 2023

jokeroutfan OHMYGOD randomfollower omg thanks for posting these icon 👑 motorsportfollower idk who these ppl are but theyre HOT maemuller omg i miss you queenie :( can't wait for you to be back eurovisionfan bojan and mae omggg😭😭 krisgusti y/n always providing the bts content

yourusername just you wait until tour

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continuation will be posted soon.

#bojan cvjetićanin #bojan cvjetićanin x reader #joker out #joker out x reader #joker out fanfic #bojan joker out #bojan #f1 #f1 x reader

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j-almori · 5 months

Text

m6 as greek gods

(or other important figures in greek mythology)

note: this is more of a ramble than a proper headcanon/au post. and i must say that i am not that sure about all the comparisons — for some of the m6, it was harder to find characters of greek mythology that would resemble them well, and for others i found several characters that are comparable to them in some ways. and i just wanted to indulge in both these interests of mine so here it is

lucio:

ares, the god of violence in war and courage. besides lucio having a violent mindset by default ('kill or be killed', yknow) and most of the time trying to show bravado, which clearly ties to ares' main traits, there is another similarity which lies in how other people perceive lucio and ares: the fact that ares represented all the horrors of war didn't do well for his popularity among the greeks. majority of people didn't like him at all, and he had little respect as a god, often ending up humiliated in myths. it reminds me of how lucio wasn't actually liked nor respected among the people of vesuvia

cronos, the god of time. tbh i myself think this comparison isn't very fitting, but i like the fact that they have some specific parallels in their stories: 1) patricide :); 2) acting selfish and committing atrocities simply out of extreme fear of death; 3) being locked in one place after being defeated (cronos was defeated in war, lucio was.. metaphorically defeated by death. or you can see it as him being defeated by asra when they sabotaged the ritual) without an ability to escape the imprisonment (yes, lucio is again metaphorically imprisoned in the palace as a ghost before receiving external help) (i know the last point is forced but i'll keep it anyways :p)

another character that could resemble lucio is narcissus, but i think the parallels between them are a bit superficial

nadia: athena, the goddess of wisdom, strategy in war, craft. i don't think there's any other more suitable option for her, since they both possess and represent very similar traits. for nadia, war strategy could represent her rational approach to being a leader of vesuvia and her skill for battle and war tactics that are shown in the confrontation with the devil. besides, one of the main symbols of athena is an owl, much like in nadia's case

//about lucio and nadia being ares and athena: ares and athena's contrast in what they're representing in war is, i think, very similar to differences in lucio and nadia's view of leadership, what kind of rulers they wanted to be, and how they used their power to achieve their goals. lucio wanted to affirm his power by brute force and domination above all, punishing even those who help him (e.g. asra's parents), without thinking of long-term consequences. nadia sees that true power comes from strategy, maintaining balance, and a way of thinking that equally considers everyone's well-being.

muriel:

hades, the god of the dead. honestly my first reason for associating muriel with hades is hades' helm of invisibility, which instantly reminded me of muriel's gift-curse. another thing about hades that reminds me of muriel is how hades isn't often depicted in ancient greek art bc of people's fear of him, making his overall image very hazy, much like muriel doesn't leave any tangible memories of himself bc of his curse. they also resemble each other in how they are disconnected from the rest of the 'cast': in hades' case, it's how he's obliged to stay in the underworld to carry out his duty as the god of the dead, making it difficult for him to interact with other gods (besides, he himself doesn't show much interest in the affairs of the overworld); in muriel's case, it's how he also willingly chooses a solitary life in the woods, staying isolated from others

artemis, the goddess of wilderness, healing, purity. (she's also the goddess of hunt but that doesn't connect well with muriel so ignore that). she, like hades, is also a much more reserved goddess who prefers to stay in the forests surrounded only by animals and her nymphs (who are basically personified nature) than to participate in the olympians' drama. i would say that this comparison relies more on the importance of wild nature in relation to both artemis and muriel than on their character traits, since artemis doesn't hesitate to show her wrath and cruelty when punishing someone, unlike muriel

asra:

orpheus. i don't think it's really necessary to explain this choice if you're familiar with the myth

among the olympians, i would say that he resembles hermes the most — the god of roads, travelers, wit, humor, and too many other things to list them all. he has a unique role of a soul guide, who helps souls travel to the afterlife (well let's say that asra would be a soul guide for one particular soul and that he helped them travel back to life than vice versa). i'd say that hermes is a bit too mischevious and trickster-ish for asra, but i like how hermes' function of a traveler between realms fits to asra's magical abilities and frequent travels outside vesuvia.

ok i just realised that there's also hecate, the goddess of magic (!), crossroads, necromancy (!!) and ghosts — all things that asra is connected with, in some way. she, too, is a goddess who travels between realms. besides, people were placing shrines to hecate at the entrance of homes/temples to keep the dead spirits away, which reminds me of asra's protective spells against lucio's ghost. one of hecate's many symbols is a serpent, and, well... asra has faust, so...

julian: it was difficult to find a resembling enough figure for him, but here's what i decided:

dionysus, the god of wine, fertility, festivity, theatre. he's also referred to as a god of resurrection (!), and sometimes is said to be a foreigner (and i think the motif of being a foreigner is mostly present in julian's image, even though most of the m6 aren't native to vesuvia). despite dionysus being a popular god, there's a lot of uncertainty surrounding his origins and true identity, which could be tied to how julian likes to keep a mysterious external image of himself (imo) (and regarding dionysus' identity: he's sometimes said to be hades or zagreus, hades' son, both of which have death motifs, and, well, julian does have some deathly symbolism too)

note: i also thought of some similarities between julian and eros, but ultimately i didn't find this comparison fitting enough

portia:

hestia, the goddess of hearth, sacred fire, family. she is the youngest among children of cronus (after they were freed by zeus). she doesn't have much representation in mythology, being a non-confrontational and kind goddess who couldn't leave her duty of keeping the olympian hearth (therefore not taking part in any godly drama). still, she was very important to the greeks due to her being a keeper of the home and sacred fire: "among all mortals, she was chief of the goddesses." to say shortly, i think all these traits resemble portia very well, with her greatest assets being her caring, considerate and dutiful nature (she's literally responsible for the entire palace!!). and, like hestia, portia carries great importance in lives of the others without causing any drama or creating some aggrandized persona for herself: her sincere friendliness and attentiveness to others are enough for her to be greatly valued.

persephone, the goddess of spring, vegetation, nature (and the underworld but that's not really relevant in portia's case (afaik)). tbh this association is the least supported by facts, i just think portia and persephone have similar vibes

note: i must say that the arcana character whom i haven't gotten to know in much depth is portia, so i'm sorry if her description wasn't accurate enough

✦✦✦

that's all for my rambling today. thank you for reading! honestly this is the first time i'm writing smth like this, sorry if it's a bit all over the place (which it probably is). just wanted to finally write down these associations that have been plaguing my brain for some time now. (and i would be happy to read your thoughts on this too!)

last note: i definitely wouldn't call myself an expert on greek mythology, i mostly relied on my not-that-deep knowledge of it which i got from a bunch of different sources over the years + fact-checked some things while writing this. overall, don't take this too seriously

#the arcana #rambling #count lucio #lucio morgasson #julian devorak #portia devorak #muriel of the kokhuri #nadia satrinava #also i'm kinda anxious about misphrasing something bc i'm not a native english speaker so i'm sorry if smth sounds weird to you 💀💀#AND this probably has been done before but idc :p #the arcana game #the arcana mystic romance #the arcana m6

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kindlespice · 5 months

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🍉 actual hiatus 🍉

hi hi! so... it's been a while! *checks notes* i have not posted since august... of last year x.x i've been lurking around a bit occasionally dropping likes here and there, but for the most part been entirely absent. i feel like it's wayyyy past time for me to check-in, let everybody know i'm okay and all that jazz. but i am declaring this an actual hiatus now

tl;dr

i lost the simblr itch, i thought "surely it will come back" but it never came back and now i'm hyperfixating on other things.

i'm gonna put specifics under a read more if anyone's that interested in what i've been doing, what i will be doing, where i'll be hanging out now, etc. but it's really nothing big or major--just interests changing.

⭐ my content + patreon

(since it's kinda important and i want everyone to be able to see this) i'm not deleting this account and i'm still keeping my content up both on patreon and sfs! you will still be able to download things for free!!! i will be deleting my patreon tier! even though it was basically a donation tier, i feel bad keeping it up knowing i'm consciously not making more sims content (or being really active in the community) for the foreseeable future i'll be reaching out to existing patrons and making a similar post over there as well about the tier change!

i also wanna say thank you to everyone who's ever followed, donated, liked, commented, messaged, lurked or just been sweet and kind to me ❤️! simblr will always have a special place in my heart, so i don't think i'll ever leave leave, but i owe it to you guys to let you know that i'm making the conscious decision to be inactive for some time.

as a closing statement, fk isr*el and i am absolutely 100% without a doubt full stop

AGAINST GENOCIDE AND FOR A 🍉 FREE PALESTINE 🍉

you should be too if you're any kind of decent human being :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

⭐what will happen to my account?

nothing really. or at least nothing different from how it's been for the last year and some change XD like i said, i'm still keeping my blogs up, downloads won't move, etc. i am just committing to not actively posting content or really being on simblr that much. maybe i'll drop some likes or comments when the mood hits (like i have been), but not really much else. i guess if there's any questions about this i'll answer them since my active attention will be back on simblr for at least a few days while i clean some things up. i would like to do one last thing as a kind of parting gift at some point... i never did end up cleaning up my downloads page or organize the thumbs/sorting for my cc like i said i would so maybe i'll do that before it gets away from me again but i'm not making any promises

⭐why am i on hiatus?

nothing bad happened or anything, i just.... lost interest. I already wasn't really playing the game that much even when i was super active; i mostly just took pictures and did edits. but i just wasn't having as much fun as i used to, opening the game started feeling like a chore, i wasn't all that inspired to make content, etc. i've burnt out on simblr on many an occasion so i just took a break like i always do but it kept going...and going.......and going.........until i realized it had been FOREVER and i hadn't really felt the itch to create here during that time, it wasn't coming back, and i was having much more fun doing other stuff. the times i did consider coming back it was more bc i felt bad about not creating rather than any actual desire to create. so i had to think long and hard about whether or not i even really wanted to come back. and i flip-flopped for probably 6 months--trying to drum up creative projects and never committing--before coming to the conclusion that i think i just need to call it a hiatus XD

⭐what have i been up to?

annoying my family with boycott lists and making them buy alternatively :D bouncing back and forth between many different hyperfixations... i fell back down the skyrim rabbithole several times, genshin, stardew, acnh, made a million notion pages i'll never use--the usual suspects. BUT BG3! at one point i swore i was gonna come back end of july/early aug but then BG3 dropped early and it was over... i definitely did A LOT of heavy lurking here when the girlies were all posting GORGEOUS tavs omg... i spent a while getting ts3 up and running, even made a sideblog thinking "maybe i'll come back with ts3 content that would be cool!"... just to not end up playing and not using the sideblog and not coming back -.- 4LIENS were supposed to have a comeback like... 4 separate times and it just did not happen... i've been making a concerted effort to get back into drawing and art. i've been in a kind of... depression? slump? with it for years now; always feeling like it wasn't good enough, that i should be better since i'm so "gifted and talented", i should be monetizing it and not "wasting" all that skill, blah blah imposter syndrome blah blah getting frustrated when i'm not 100% perfect all the time blah blah feeling like a disappointment to my family blah blah... but i am HELLA sick and tired of having all this anxiety and fear surrounding something i used to love so much so i'm pushing through! i've been trying out lots of different mediums and actually using my sketchbooks and just generally trying to introduce more fun into the process and stop being so hard on myself all the time. i picked up crocheting for a bit. at this point i haven't touched it in so long i probably forgot how to do it but... maybe one day i'll make a blanket or smth I started journalling (relatively) regularly for a bit. i was feeling really down at several points throughout the year and i thought having daily entries would help combat the feeling like every day was just absolute shit. on the contrary, the majority of days are good--at worst mundane--the bad ones just tend to stick out more. trying to get back into reading again... i miss doing it for leisure and taking notes bc i want to and not because i have a 300 annotation school assignment :P and a whole bunch of other stuff probably but it's hard to remember every single thing that's been on my mind for 16 months lol

⭐what will i be doing / where can you find me now?

i'm hoping to start a webtoon/build up art socials in the new year as a part of my "reconnecting to art" process. i made some art socials @kbearie-art here and @/kbearie_art on insta, youtube, tiktok, and twitter; they're empty for now though bc i got scared the minute i made them and never posted anything -.- but i'll be real with you... twitter is a cesspool, and im not fond of tiktok so i think tumblr, insta and youtube will probably be where i'll dedicate my time i've been thinking about getting back into posting videos on youtube again just in general. in fact this thought was the final push for me to make this post bc i was like... if i post a video out of the blue with no word to simblr that would be fked up XD i play games all the time and i had such a fun time recording, learning to edit and stuff that i think i'd like to pursue that further. i wouldn't be doing sims related stuff though bc...well... i don't play anymore XD but other games ya know. my other youtube is kspice (the same place with my tutorials, speed edits, the acnh vid, etc.) if you'd be interested in that

and i guess that's pretty much it!

again, for at least the next couple of days i'll probably actively have my eyes on this post/simblr in general (and i am gonna clear out my inbox hopefully) so if you have questions i'd ask em quickly before i go back into hiding XD

thanks again, i love you guys, free palestine, and have a good new year! 🍉⭐💖

#now...#is it extra if i change my theme right before i leave for an indefinite period of time?#...#it's never stopped me before!#also i hate this knock-off twitter layout i wanna burn it all down #why can't i put a real line in my text posts anymore i--#i take it all back #the tumblr changes are the reason i'm on hiatus #>:|#kspice.text

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antirepurp · 1 year

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time for me to be obnoxious about an april fool's game at almost may wahoo ft. an unexpected moment of character analysis because i have no chill

TRAIN.

i hope this game is canon because rouge doing petty pickpocketing is my favorite thing actually

he has a wallet? and a home?

i could go on about how much i love these kids being unhinged and chaotic but unless i want to reblog this post a million times i have to cut it down. let it be known that i adore the kids and their antics tho

you know what i also adore? blaze committing crimes in the chaos dimension because she can get away with it. i think i need more of that in my life actually

although right after he says he doesn't wanna do more crimes i'd like to think he grows out of that opinion eventually. let the little guy steal stuff i want him to hang with rouge and have her make him worse actually

look here shadow's had it rough in the writing department for a while but i very much appreciated this plot point of him going out of his way to get concert tickets for amy and even (reluctantly) agreeing to go with her to said concert even if it isn't his cup of tea. i know it's more presented as him trying to y'know be polite and considerate and he's going about it in an edgy way but i'd like to think it's just his way of presenting things if you will? like he know what amy's favorite band is and sees how hard the tickets are to get so he goes out of his way to get them because he cares about his friend and knows how much attending a concert like that would mean to amy. and in terms of this screenshot in particular i also appreciate amy appreciating her friends' presence at her party even if they hadn't gotten her anything! sure it does kinda come across as her being bummed about not getting gifts from them and maybe she is but i think that's okay? like she's 12 (or 13 now i guess?) getting excited about presents is pretty normal, and it's not like she's super upset about it anyway. i think she genuinely appreciates her friends attending her party more than anything

i also found this a lovely little detail lol and it does kinda make sense! the bitch has been in stasis for 50 years and computer technology has taken leaps in that time, of course he'd be a lil rustier with them compared to his peers

more on shadow, this guy's brain goes overdrive the second he realizes he fucked up and needs to get something nice for his friend now. like i don't have the brain power to form it into words atm but i just love what this all says about him as a character!!

i could flail about the art in this game the whole evening honestly it's so lovely and colorful and pretty and i love how this scene is composed and shadow being seated on the windowsill idk this just put a big smile on my face when i saw it :)

frankly obsessed with amy's unhinged energy can we please get more of this bc i live for it

the fucking blowdart. i cannot tell you how fucking off the walls these teens are like espio's instructed to use a blowdart on sonic with non-lethal poison and he's like yeah that checks out and sonic's just like wow cool guess i'll snooze for a bit then like this shit is exactly why teenagers should be given superpowers and be put into Situations(TM) i love it

not an april fools game making me emotional over trains

and why yes i am obsessed obviously

it was a fun game! like tbh with a bit more content i would've been happy to pay a bit for this honestly (like. when im not broke lmao) like it's so charming and there were a lot of fun details and the jokes were enjoyable too. i just think it's neat :)

but yea that is all im glad sonic the hedgehog got murdered it was a great time

#soda offers you a can #the murder of sonic the hedgehog #also the minigames were banges actually i loved the vibes in them they were rad

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imperiuswrecked · 1 year

Note

The main difference i think is the justice systems of the us and mexico. Not that the u.s. is good, i just heard mexico does things differently?

It's very late, I'm very tired, and I've been trying to stay offline because the sheer amount of racism, misogyny, and hate I've seen directed to both Tenoch and Elena is honestly horrible and I've been feeling very burned out from people in general but I assume this ask is about the recent statement Elena released, which I had to translate and piece together so if I'm wrong please let me know.

Tw: sexual abuse discussion

Elena released this as a response to Tenoch's statement:

Basically what I understood is that Tenoch is a flirter, a womanizer, and has had lots of flings, casual consensual sex with women with no promise of commitment and often ghosts them after sex, or sometimes hooks up with them again later.

Elena felt used because this happened to her. Ghosting after sex isn't a crime, it might make Tenoch a cad, and it's a shitty thing to do, but its not a crime, flirting/making you feel loved isn't a crime either. Again it seemed like even after they broke up last year things were fine between them up until sometime this year.

Then she goes on to say that Tenoch abused her because one time during (consensual) sex he removed the condom, and she says that even if sex acts start off as consensual they can turn non consensual and removing a condom is what changed it to abuse. That's the issue here, and she goes on to claim that other women have told her he does this, but she doesn't name or reveal any information about the others, the one other woman (an actress) who posted a public tweet about Tenoch saying she had a bad experience with Tenoch once (7 years ago) has gone private on twitter after deleting that tweet.

Elena accuses Tenoch of Stealthing, which isn't a crime in Mexico, but in the U.S. only California recognizes Stealthing and the guilty party can face fines or up to 6 months in jail, and yeah I googled it for this answer bc I'm not a lawyer.

Stealthing is when someone removes a condom (known or unknown) without consent from the other person.

Which brings me to your question, yes the way Justice Systems work are different and not all things that are registered crimes/civil offenses in the U.S. are recognized in Mexico. Which is probably why Elena did not file a police report because they do not recognize it as a crime or abuse.

This is once again a "He said, She said", and when/if other women speak up then there nothing else to say, because again, we don't know what happened between them in the bedroom. Speculation about whether Elena was ok with it then and later changed her mind or that she wants to extort money from Tenoch which is why he hired lawyers or if she's lying or if he's lying or anything else is just that, speculation. It doesn't mean anything.

I will say personally I think there could be truth in her words but I wasn't in the room with them to know so I do not know if this is truth or if she decided to exaggerate what happened, but if more of his past partners come out affirm this then it's likely true.

However I will say that the way Elena handled this, tacking the accusation on during a dispute about money, leading people to believe that Tenoch is a huge rapist who assaults and preys on women in the worst way (I'm not downplaying or ignoring her experiences with him or questioning if she was abused) and not stating things clearly from the start have created a super toxic environment that could have been lessened if she had just posted that statement or done an interview outright. I'm not victim blaming here, but I am pointing out that her handling of this made it worse because it gave people time to speculate, create wilder accusations, and go on a near week long harassment spree directed not just at her but also at Tenoch, if she wants to claim cyber bullying from Tenoch's "fans" (I don't doubt that Tenoch fans harassed her but I'm pretty sure a huge chunk of those vile people don't even like Tenoch, they just hate women) then it's only fair to point out that he is also cyber bullied because of the racists who hate Tenoch and thats not either of their faults because people suck. What's also sad is many people who are nice people in the Namor/Tenoch fandom also got harassed because of this, mostly on the Spanish speaking side of things. I don't think that all of this hate wouldn't have happened even if she had come out with a clear statement from the beginning but I do think that it was worse because of how it played out.

I tried to keep up with what's going on but it's actually super depressing to see so much gross hate from all directions.

Anways I'm done with this whole thing and this is the last I'll be talking about it.

#tenoch huerta #elena rios #current events #imp answers

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bxngthedoldrums · 1 year

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a petekey reading of so much (for) stardust

aka you knew i'd do this aka i didnt take four literature classes in college for nothing aka make sure your tinfoil hat is SECURED to your noggin aka dear lord forgive me for committing sins of petekey in the year of 2023

look. i have to do this or i don't deserve this blog. amen

~ love from the other side

okay. yea, immediately the "you were the sunshine of my lifetime" thing is sort of sus, because we all know pete wentz and anytime sun or summer is involved it's Something. this is solidified in "summer falling through our fingers again" in verse 2, but it's interesting that he uses "ours" in this lyric bc i feel like recently most of pete's summer lyrics have been pretty self-inflicted. it's impossible to not note the whole "inscribed like stone and faded by the rain" in the bridge v. "the tombstones were waiting" line in bang the doldrums. i shant even elaborate u can pick up what i'm laying down!

~ heartbreak feels so good

i think this song is pretty light on petekey imagery but "light from a screen of messages unsent" kinda reminds me of "some nights it gets so bad i almost pick up the phone" in ginasfs but i could be reaching for Sure. let's be real that's all i do

~ hold me like a grudge

honestly i think this is one of the worst petekey offenders on the album. this one had me gawking at my screen as i read the lyrics. "thaw out my freezer burn feelings for twenty summers" ??? be SERIOUS pete... "part-time soulmate, full-time problem" yeah I GET IT I GET IT !!! the whole thing reeks of 2005 summertime fling

~ fake out

"do you laugh about me whenever i leave?" bonkers ass line,,this reminds me of pete's lj writing in those years after 2005,,,"my mood board is just pictures of you, but i'm not sad anymore" YEAH. this is SO pete holy fuck. that classic wentz obsession,,"we did for futures that never came and for pasts that we're never gonna change" this line's got me on the fuckin FLOOR. also classic pete!!! his perchance for nostalgia is just insane and he really feels it huh

~ heaven, iowa

i dont even know how to get into this one. "kiss my cheek, baby, please/would you read my eulogy?" SICK and TWISTED evil!!! evil!!! "i will never ask you for anything except to dream sweet of me" jesus h christ the melancholy is off the charts but holy fuck this song is so,,,tender? i dont know wht to say but i know this was written w summer of love intention. i know this in my heart. "scar-crossed lovers, forever" OKAY I KNOW !!! this song is DEVASTATING verse 2 is fucked UP and the bridge is too!!! "closed my eyes inside your darkness and found your glow"???? i cantr og on

~ so good right now

i can't really discern any particularly petekey lyrics in this one right away but the whole "i cut myself down to be whatever you need me to be" is pretty fucking wild

~ i am my own muse

there's some really sad lyrics in this one ab the whole future-not-going-as-planned thing that comes up so frequently in pete's writing but honestly the whole "let's twist the knife again, twist the knife again like we did last summer" thing made my head explode. every lover's got a lil dagger in their hands!!!

~ flu game

im not gonna sit here and type out ths whole fucking song but oh my GOD bro. this song to me is a really nice callback to pete's older style of lyricism but that comes with the self-deprecation and all the other really sad shit. it's beautiful! it's horrible! i love it!!! its about mikey i cant even pul out a few lyrics just LISTEN

~ baby annihilation

another fucked up one that literally anyone else in fob should have vetoed but OKAY?? "time is luck and i wish ours overlapped more or for longer" MAN SHUT UP. "self sabotage at best, under your spell/but you know what they say, if you want a job done right, you gotta do it yourself" ..........dude. if you're like me and you've poured over pete's oooold lj posts from the mid 2000s you already get it, but if you havent,,,go do it and get back to me bc this is TOO MUHC im unwell. "what is there between us if not a little annihilation?" i think i hauve covid

~ the kintsugi kid (ten years)

this song is really fucking sad actually. there's so much fear of being forgotten on this album and it's showcased really beautifully in this song,,,mayhaps not the most obviously petekey song but god damn

~ what a time to be alive

this song's about covid and quarantine n it's pretty easy on the whole suffering from a fling in 2005 thing! good job pete and fob

~ so much (for) stardust

this song is kinda suspicious but there's very few lines that really solidify it as a petekey song,,, altho "i think i've been going through it, and ive been putting your name through it" is a really interesting lyric. and OF COURSE, "in another life, you were my babe/in another life, you were the sunshine of my lifetime" happy xmas war is over

#petekey #had to do it to em #man what the FUCK goes on

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spacedustmantis · 2 years

Text

so... episode 73, huh?

I've been having a lot of thoughts about gillion and his approach to emotions, and it's all been kickstarted by the last episode

(spoilers for the just roll with it riptide campaign up to ep. 73 below, also discussions of multiple not so nice topics, such as self-hatred, lack of parental figures / abandonment, atlas personality, physical and emotional abuse, isolation, neglect and indoctrination. be safe.

also i am very aware that most of what I'm gonna say is not necessarily new to a lot of people and it's by no means a revelation, this is supposed to be more of a getting-my-thoughts-in-order kind of post. I don't really have a structure planned for this one, so get ready for a lot of rambling and don't expect a conclusion or anything of the sorts

also every english teacher on earth is gonna hate me for this, but I'm not providing any context. this analysis is not gonna do you any good if you aren't familiar with the rough plot of riptide. I'll do my best to make it clear which scenes I'm referencing in case you want to watch / listen to them to refresh.)

basically this whole thing started bc I thought that gillion was behaving quite strangely this episode (ep 73). of course, considering his situation (everything he's learned about his "purpose" in the episodes before the feywild, being in a phase of change and finding himself etc.) and the catalyst being the kidnapping of pretzel, it's not surprising to see him act differently, but what threw me off was that he was hugely inconsistent in his behavior.

now if I wasn't aware that charlie is an absolute improv and acting genius, I might have waved this off as the player being unsure of the best approach, but charlie doesn't only know how to be in character, he also knows said character impossibly well. he's proven again and again that he understands gillion's situation and the effects of his life on him to a tee.

and so I took a closer look at the inconsistencies to figure out a pattern. surprise, surprise! I did!

most instances I found have to do with his projected intent and mood, and his actual intent and mood.

after pretzel got kidnapped, gillion took an oath of vengeance and, very in line with that oath, started acting scary, forward to the point of aggression and very, very angry.

yet despite his demeanor he does not resist when asked to cooperate by the staff (who as far as he knows works with the very people he suspects took pretzel), offers dirla his help with their stolen cub and shows genuine interest in helping everyone who's lost someone to the pig girl, and goes out of his way to save the pixie that fell off of the flying pug. and even though it might not come across that way because of the weird mix of behaviors, he still tries his best to be as polite and well-mannered as possible. these are all things that gillion would have done before, but now contrasted by this sinister act, that he seems to only half commit to, they feel weird.

one instance I wanted to highlight was the conversation he and jay had with the pixie in the big tent. here is where gillion gets really upfront and explicitly aggressive (even though his attempt at kidnapping failed) for the first time, and he immediately gets interrupted by a sudden outpour of emotions when the pixie tells him that her pet weasel is called peanutbutter. charlie tells us ooc that gillion broke out in tears because he saw himself in her. what that means is that he saw a person who clearly loved their pet a lot and gave them a food related name, and the resemblance to him and his own pet was enough to break through his normally very strong emotional barrier (we'll come back to this) In Front Of Other People!

this reaction could be due to the pixie and her weasel reminding him that he very much misses his own beloved pet, or because he gets hit with the realization that this pixie could also lose her pet, or, most likely, it's a mixture of both. normally both of these would act as a motivator to get going and fix things, but gillion instead just kinda falls down sobbing.

the way he talks to the pixie shortly after he broke down, also shows a weird juxtaposition between his tone of speaking, which is extremely childlike and sounds very vulnerable for once, and the words that he says (talk about murder and torture) which again ties into the previously established inconsistency.

all of this leads me to the most obvious hint at what is going on with gillion and why he behaves the way he behaves: the fact that he breaks down crying the second he's by himself. it's like a big, red, sparkly, blinking arrow that points us to the source of everything.

gillion is putting on a facade. one that crumbles the moment he is alone.

and sure this is pretty obvious - we've known that he isn't really one to be vulnerable - but the moment I actually sat down to think about what this facade would mean for gillion, all of the above listed inconsistencies (and more) started making perfect sense.

to understand we need to take a look at what we know about his upbringing.

what we know of course is the whole deal with being raised as a weapon for the elders, being taken from his family, his training etc. but we actually know shockingly little about his relationship to the elders and his day to day life. all we have are implications and speculations. however, even though not much has been confirmed, most things we learn about gillions childhood work together to create a picture and we can fill in the blanks with relative ease.

we aren't given a specific age that gillion was taken by the elders but we know that he was already in training by age eight (gillion's first secret in the meat room ep. 52) and I think it's safe to assume he was taken way earlier, seeing as the prophecy and the incidents surrounding his birth (allegedly) lined up perfectly and the elders would have been informed immediately, since the whole prophecy thing is a huge deal to them. (Edit: as of ep. 79 we know that he was taken at age five or younger)

we also know, thanks to the description of young gillion in ep. 72, that he was bruised and wearing "clothes and armor that's a little too big for him". so the elders clearly had no issue harming a small child (even if it was due to the training, you don't just hurt a kid like that) and the not-fitting clothes indicate serious neglect. even form-fitted armor would not have been a huge trouble for the elders, the literal highest authority in the undersea, to get.

the isolation from any friends or family (except edyn) gillion experienced while in training isn't even just implied, it's outright stated multiple times, most notably during the conversation with edyn in ep. 58, when she is talking about pretzel being intended to help with his loneliness. the elders even held control over how much he was allowed to see his sister and restricted the frequency more and more the older he got.

in that conversation gillion talks about how he was not the best student and had to take "extra lessons" (Edit: we now know that these extra lessons stem from the elders refusal to explain their expectations to gillion, ep. 77), and how he did not get much time (if any at all) for hobbies, which leads me to believe that any deviation from the intended path (such as misbehaving or interests in non chosen one stuff) was punished and beaten out of him, figuratively, or even literally.

the elders made gillion do stuff he did not want to do (also ep. 58, same conversation) (Edit: also ep. 75) and did not let him do stuff he did want to do, and still he holds an unwavering trust in them for a very long time even after he was exiled, a clear sign that his perception of the elders as rightful authority has been really deeply ingrained in his brain. not once would he question the elders since to him they are infallible.

and of course we are all quite familiar with the very core of gillion's story; the ideals instilled within him by years and years of influence by the elders and the prophecy: the very black-and-white view on morality, the "greater good" being much more important than his own life, the undersea being superior to any other faction and the clear correct choice once gillion's destiny rolls around, the idea that he carries all of the responsibility for literally every creature of the undersea and also every other person or creature (in that order of priority), the justification of murder (as long as they're "evil" of course) and the notion that he is only of any worth if he can be a weapon for someone to use, or a shield for someone to take refuge behind. (all of this is displayed in his behavioral patterns over the course of the campaign and I won't be digging out any scenes for you to go back to. if you aren't familiar with these patterns why are you here? /lh)

all of this paints a picture of abuse, neglect, isolation (and the distance from actual society that comes with it, which in turn results in easier manipulation), control and indoctrination, not to mention the absolute abandonment from his biological parents.

the amount of psychological issues that stem from this is enough to fill a whole book:

a lack of self-worth bordering on self-hatred and a very self-sacrificial nature, abandonment issues, an atlas personality (if you can't infer what that means through context clues, google it, it should be the very first result) and trauma from the elders' abuse.

the following part will only really talk about the last two, since they are the most relevant to how gillion approaches his emotions.

the whole facade that gillion puts on again and again is essentially one big trauma response. as many have already observed, gillion has two very strongly contrasting sides to him. one is his more "true" self which shows more and more as he stays with the riptide pirates. he starts finding joy in otherwise "useless" activities such as joking around and even pulling pranks (ep. 42), he stands up for himself instead of just others, and he begins very slowly and cautiously opening up to his friends.

certain situations (his friends being in danger, a village in need of saving, an insult to his honor) tend to trigger the other side of him (which used to be the only side that ever saw the light of day) to show: heroic, righteous, strong, but also closed off, self-sacrificial, and afraid of failure. part of this side, or this trauma response, is this facade. he falls back into old habits, habits that used to keep him alive: do the right thing even if it means the death of yourself or an enemy, if in doubt the undersea is superior, be on your best behavior, and whatever you do Do Not show weakness.

on top of all that comes the atlas thing, the idea that the world is resting on his shoulders and it's his job to fix everything.

so he restrains any show of emotions not just because back in the undersea that was dangerous, could get him in trouble, but just as importantly he was taught that his own emotions come last and being emotional could harm others. and it's his job to help everyone else no matter the cost.

and this explains pretty much all of gillions behavior this episode, especially if one considers that he is very emotionally affected by pretzels disappearance, which means that it is much harder for him to keep up the act. the mix of threatening and weirdly polite, his oath to get vengeance and yet not hurting anyone who might have been involved with the kidnapping, the stark contrast between cornering the pixie and collapsing on top of her sobbing, are all a result of all of his different pre-established patterns and systems of how to function clashing, and so of course it's a mess. he's angry at the pig-girl, rightfully so, but that also triggers the anger towards the entire world he's in that isn't intrinsic but has been instilled in him by the elders. he wants to be threatening but his instincts tell him to be well-behaved. he feels like he cannot let anyone see how he's actually feeling but he's so strung up that it only takes the name of the pet of a stranger to make him cry. and he expresses the most amount of emotion he probably ever has in front of others while talking about harming and killing people.

even the very fact that he made the oath of vengeance points us to his childhood; the moment something happens which he does not know how to solve otherwise, something that he cannot deal with in the same way he deals with other things, he makes an oath, or a deal, or a bargain. it's a pattern that's wormed it's way through the entire campaign ever since his talk with niklaus hendrix (ep. 8) and found it's beginning in his original paladin oath, one he took due to the conditioning and expectations of the elders. (my theory is that he finds something comforting in making a deal with someone higher up in the food chain than him. fucking freak.)

another interesting aspect to look at under this new light is his initial reaction to finding pretzels bowl empty. first thing he does is scream. multiple times. to me that is a very clear very vulnerable expression of emotion. and then - he does nothing. until he's prompted to break the mirror by jay. and it's only until after that plan fails that gillion starts his whole vengeance spiel, which we now know is most likely an attempt at fixing things the way he should as instructed by the elders. in that short period of time before that he is aimless. he's just gillion and he lost his pet and he doesn't know what to do. in that moment his initial reaction is utter despair, pure emotion, and once he had time to gather himself that's when he doesn't see any other way than to do something painfully familiar. and with that also comes the whole barrage of old behavioral patterns that lead to him acting the way he does.

so that's this episode, but of course, similar, less obvious cases are sprinkled all throughout the campaign.

the one that immediately comes to mind is the fight for honor between him and chip (ep. 15), where the moment his honor is wounded, he opts for a fight to the death, even though at this point he already considers chip his friend.

or in ep. 8, insisting on a fight with niklaus and even going for a second round after getting downed by niklaus in one hit, and then accepting a deal that he knows is bad news, all because it would save the mayor and his daughter (because, quick refresher, they could have just let the mayor die and that would have lifted the curse). and "what is one more burden" right?

or the fact that he still sees having fun with his friends as an actual literal sin!! (ep. 71)

or letting jay down him willingly, even removing his armor (ep. 53)

and so on and so forth. there's probably a lot of subtle one-liners or passing ooc remarks, that I can't remember, but you get the gist.

the gist being that gillion grew up not being gillion, but The Chosen One instead. and now that he has the freedom to be both, there are some really messy consequences, and it's actually incredible what a grip charlie has on all of these layers and behaviors and I get more and more fascinated by him the deeper I dig.

we have not even touched certain aspects of gillion's character and journey, there's his fish out of water issue, very subtle hints that he might have been suicidal at one point, not to mention what his banishment from the undersea did to him. but all of that is another conversation entirely.

anyway! I hope you enjoyed this very all over the place, rambly analysis post, even though there's not many new thoughts or revelations in here and I basically winged it! the moment I started this train of thought on saturday I just couldn't get to rest until I put this whole thing together.

now I finally know peace.

can't wait for the next episode on friday to disprove all of what I said

(also please feel free to add onto this, tell me how I got it wrong, derail the post etc. I love reading other people's thoughts on stuff I say)

(@wrinklemcdinkle

@snails-in-spaceships

@keenscribbles

@poly-pirates-my-beloved

@enby-ralsei

@littlefoxwithbighat

@burning-sol)

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torchickentacos · 3 months

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3, 6, & 21 for Drew, our beloved

THANK YOU ANON! Love the usage of 'our' here. We all have joint custody of this weirdo.

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

OOOOOOH. Okay. This is going to sound like an early April Fool's joke coming from me specifically, but STAY WITH ME. My least favorite thing is that he literally only ever talks to May. Which, okay, kind of my favorite thing too, but he just has such INTERESTING interactions with others when pokeani lets him, but they just never really do. On one hand, I seriously love the tunnel-vision. He literally will ignore a room full of people if she's in it. Like. Canonically. It's all he ever does. But when he DOES interact with others, it's FUN! We get so much about him from those interactions but they just happen so rarely.

Anyways, incomplete list of characters that Drew should TOTALLY have gotten to interact with: Gary. Tracey. Misty. Brock (Brock has HILARIOUS one-sided beef with Drew by the way lmao, calls him nails on a chalkboard). Paul. I know Paul came after Drew but IMAGINE. What would that even look like?????

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

Honestly, not much. At all. I'm extroverted, heart-on-my-sleeve, nonconfrontational, spontaneous, unorganized, forgetful- things he is absolutely not. But I am a hopeless romantic who will get stuck pining for years on end, so that's something lol??? But honestly, veeeery little lol.

Rest under cut bc this is getting long.

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

this is also under cut because I'm incredibly touchy/quiet about my fic stuff here, but anyone who actually wants to read this and clicks the read more is someone who I'm fine with reading this answer lol. Mostly just don't want non-mutuals skimming my fic thoughts. I wish there were tumblr circles like twitter had- it would stir some bullshit, yeah, but there's... kind of a lot of you guys here and only a select few are pokeani, lol, and it's intimidating. I wish I could post for a smaller audience but alas. If you're bothering to read this then you're probably fine. I've had bad experiences with judgmental people, so fic stuff is something I only talk about to a really tiny group, but I think I can answer this. Feeling brave.

Okay. Something I like to do is lean into his overthinking. So, technically we have no idea if he overthinks or not in canon, but it seems to be a pretty unanimous fandom decision that he's someone who gets stuck in his own head a bit. He thinks too much for his own good, and I try to play into that. Not that most of it ever leaves google docs, but lol. So it goes. I think, in stark contrast to specific other characters lol, he's someone who has the next ten steps planned if he can help it, and that's fun to mess with.

Something I dislike doing... hmm. I usually leave his backstory pretty up to interpretation. I'll add details where I see fit, but overall I just leave it blank. It's not that I don't have headcanons! But I really can't settle on just one, so I never write much of any at all. I love reading other people's ideas so much! I just can't commit to my own and I leave it as-is, pretty barebones. I also don't really lean into his arrogance as hard as other writers. Not that I dislike it! I just think, for me, I tend to enjoy writing other aspects of his personality more. Him being kind of a jackass is an undeniable part of him kjdfhskdjfhbdkj but there's different ways to go about it and I leave the brunt of it to people who can write it better than I can.

#thank god tumblr's actually letting me post this one lmao. sorry other taylor. will get to yours soon ksfjhskdfhjg #alternately. sorry that tumblr's letting me post this one lmao #/j i was mostly normal and hinged here. for better or worse.#taylor's tag #taylor talks

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canmom · 5 months

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I would love to hear your takes on ratfic if at some point you are interested in sharing!

i've read very little of it because HPMOR was bad and well, my relationship with the rat subculture has historically been... mostly wanting as much distance as possible lmao, though I've chilled out a degree on that front these days. the time I got into LessWrong was not a good time in my life, let's put it that way.

nevertheless, I read Worth The Candle a year ago and enjoyed it a lot more than I expected, that had some meat on its bones, though honestly more bc it was a well-written therapyfic and played around in fun ways with TTRPG stuff than because of the 'rationalist' elements. and accordingly, the epilogues is where it lost me.

I read WtC while in a pretty terrible place (combo of a lot of bad things including quitting SSRIs cold turkey), so it was honestly the perfect time to have a ginormous serial fiction to throw myself into to distract from all that. I wrote about it at the time. calling it 'Baru Cormorant: When They Cry' was a pretty corny description lmao, but I think what I said back then wouldn't change much!

otherwise, I only hear about it over @azdoine's shoulder from time to time! I might give The Flower That Bloomed Nowhere a shot at some point? I have it sitting in an open tab. The title makes me think of The Flowers of Evil - I admit I haven't read the poems in that collection, but they did serve as inspiration for the criminally unrelated anime Aku no Hana. ...which, well, I doubt this other Flower has anything whatsoever to do with that, but it's a good excuse to post the ED...

youtube

anyway I'm afraid that's most of what I have to say about ratfic! I'm not sure if it's intrinsically a genre I am interested in, a lot of it seems to kind of require you to be a singularitarian true believer on some level and if you don't buy into that it can leave you pretty cold, but it does evidently have potential if it's treated as an interesting set of ideas and aspirations to examine critically, rather than just wish-fulfilment propaganda for lesswrongism. if I read any more of the rat canon I'll post about it on here no doubt, it's just... quite a commitment as far as reading goes to take on one of these millions of words long webserials ^^'

#i don't really have an idea what the boundary of ratfic is #like is worm a ratfic? honestly couldn't tell you

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felixravinstills · 10 days

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do u have any headcanons of felix ravinstill ? (who doesnt die!!!!!)

like his best friends, who he would marry, his kids, etc. etc.

A lot of people (2 whole people) have been telling me that Felix doesn't die lately, and my uno reverse card to you is that I actually believe that all of Snow's classmates probably die of untimely deaths so... It's not like Felix is getting preferential treatment just because he's my favorite!

Anyway, here's my attempt at walking around the grim reaper shaped elephant in the room:

Okay, in my oc fics (non-oc fic hc stuff in next paragraph), I do have him best friends with Festus and my oc, Artemisia whom he also marries. They have a kid named Diana whose character ranges from grumpy, passive defeatist (probably complicit in lesbian situationship's war crimes), realist trying to be an optimist (who poisons her lesbian situationship for attempting to commit war crimes), and future dictator of Panem (who wants to avenge her lesbian situationship) depending on the fic. Somehow, that last one is the result of a universe where Felix Ravinstill lives, so be careful what you wish for with me!

In my weird attempt to make my oc's canon complaint universe's fate mean something (RIP Artemisia Click dead before her time at age 4 in the tbosas canon according to me), Felix is probably friends with Festus still, but I don't think they become that close until later in the Academy unlike in my other verse.

Instead, Hilarius gets to be friends with Felix, because they can bond over being from very prestigious families. (I headcanon that a Heavensbee is the actual first president of Panem). This probably makes Felix tangentially friends with Pup Harrington and Vipsania Sickle (although they don't hang out as much bc I hc that Vipsania is friends with Livia, and Livia and Felix didn't get along as much as kids). I imagine that all the Academy kids are at least friendly acquaintances/school friends to some degree, so there's that too.

He's also friends with Arachne, because in my mind, everyone loves to talk shit with Arachne. You know you can always go to her to vent. Like, she's definitely also talking shit about you behind your back, but she's not really trying to hide it.

Um, marriage and kids, huh? Wow, it looks like I can't see you past this giant elephant with a scythe that's in the middle of the room. Oh no! It looks like my cursor is creeping towards the "Post now" button!

(In all honesty, having the entire Ravinstill family get absolutely destroyed from the War (that keeps the Districts under the Capitol), assassination attempts either directed at them or the President, or as collateral in Snow's rise to power, speaks to me in showing that all the privilege that the Capitol enjoys within their corrupt system won't protect them in any real way. It compels me, and I can't remove myself from it without forcing Felix to probably endure other horrors to prove this point.)

Anyway, someone else asked for more Felix hcs in another ask, so I have to get to that! Thanks for this ask! Unfortunately, I am an angsty writer

#my fic its still you was truly the monkey's paw curling as I explored a world where felix lives #abyssal stuff #abyssal rambles #ask response #anon asks #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #the hunger games #tbosas #felix ravinstill #thg series #festus creed #hilarius heavensbee #oc: artemisia click #oc: diana ravinstill #livia cardew #vipsania sickle #pup harrington #arachne crane #headcanons

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