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thyme-in-a-bubble · 5 months

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the wood

lilac, chapter twelve

a/n: *the author's note equivalent of just ✨moaning✨*

summary: the sight that beheld you once you stepped out onto the porch had all of the air slip out of your lungs all at once.

warnings: lumberjack!frank castle x reader, smut, lumberjack AU, past domestic violence, crazy ex trope, chopping wood, kissing, dirty talk, size kink, manhandling, belly bulge, outdoor sex, oral, multiple orgasms, cockwarming, squirting, mirror sex, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (because this is just porn. no one is getting pregnant, I’m just craving the intimacy. let them be hoes and live out the fantasy)

word count: 5200

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Stirring awake with a gentle groan, your arm extended in search of the body beside you. Finding nothing but linens, your eyes groggily blinked open to discover that no one else was in the bed but yourself.

Tugging your arm back under your frame, you sighed and let your front sink further into the mattress, your cheek buried itself deeper into the pillow just a moment longer before you pushed yourself up to a sitting position.

Swinging your legs over the side, you reached for the grey woollen socks you’d kicked off in the middle of the night. As you slipped them back onto your feet, your gaze caught your reflection in the round rattan-framed mirror hanging on the opposing wall.

Letting your eyes linger, turning your head from side to side, you made sure that the recently faded bruises hadn’t somehow returned to haunt you of what had occurred. But thankfully, all you saw was skin. No marks, no scrapes, no bruises, nothing physical to remind you of Preston.

Getting up, you caught the muted dark brown flannel that hung by the collar from one of the dresser’s knobs, and shrugged it on, doing up the buttons so the borrowed shirt covered you further.

Pitter-pattering out into the small kitchen, you turned on the tap and reached for a glass, swiftly filling it up for a refreshing sip.

As you lowered the drink from your lips, a satisfying cracking noise from somewhere outside found your ears and your gaze flickered to the cabin’s front door.

The sight that beheld you once you stepped out onto the porch had all of the air slip out of your lungs all at once.

Just a little ways off from the hut stood Frank by a wide and sturdy stump, split wood littering around his feet as he repeatedly let the long axe in his grasp come down upon the piece balanced on the reliable base.

Utterly hypnotised, your feet hazily carried you across the porch till your fingers were gripping onto the railing. Clad in a simple grey undershirt, the sight of the prominent veins in his arms bulging, straining at every violent hack till the thick log split, caused your brain to melt, and the fact that the hem slightly rose every time as well didn’t help matters either.

Each one of his precise swings conjured a laboured huff that sounded way too close to how he had been panting in your ear just last night. Occasionally, small curses too slipped through his puffs whenever the wood he worked on got particularly stubborn, and every time, without a doubt, you felt your cunt clench.

As one log split, forcefully crashing to either side, he picked up a new one, but before he could crack it open, he rested the axe a second against his leg while he let a dollop of spit fall from his panting lips to his calloused palms, rubbing it in for better traction before he picked up the axe once more.

Tingles pricked and tickled every nerve in your body as his sinful display eventually came to a close. The soft sunlight that streamed through the treetops caught a glint of the sweat gleaming on the part of his rapidly rising and falling chest that peaked out of the neckline of his tank, dabbling his skin like diamonds.

Wedging his axe into the base stump, you continued to stare as Frank caught his breath and bent over to gather up the wood into the wide woven basket that too was at his feet, his gaze swiftly spotting your dazed form, nearly drooling at this point.

“Oh, hey,” he smiled, offering you a small wave as he tossed a few pieces of firewood into the crate.

“Huh?” still in a trance, you blinked, your teeth digging into your bottom lip as your thighs squeezed together in an attempt at soothing the persistent pulse that now throbbed between them.

“You’re up.”

“Yep, I–, uhm, I am,” you shook your head, trying and failing to clear it, “morning.”

“I’m sorry,” he picked up the heavy basket, “did I wake you?”

“Nope, no, you didn’t,” you let a sinful exhale as he climbed the steps of the porch. Redirecting your gaze elsewhere as he set the firewood down, you stared out at the forest and coughed, “there, uh, sure are a lot of birds out today.”

“Hm,” the porch creaked beneath his boots as he neared where you stood, “is that what you were staring at?”

“Yeah, why, did you not think I was? Was there something else going on here in the forest that could possibly capture my attention other than mother nature herself?” you joked, knowing full well how obvious the truth was, “I am Dunbrook’s resident birdwatcher after all.”

“Sure, you are,” a shiver ran down your spine as his deep voice rumbled in your ear. Wrapping his burly arms around your waist, you leaned back into his warmth as he gently checked, “how are you feeling today?”

“I’m alright, pretty good actually,” you answered the question he had formed a habit of asking you every morning you’d stayed here, “I slept quite well, so that always helps things,” turning in his embrace to face him, you wrapped your arms around his neck and wondered, “how long have you been up?”

“Not long,” his gaze traced yours, following as it yearningly flickered down to his mouth.

“You hungry?”

Drawing you in closer, you heard him utter, “fucking starving…” before he captured your lips in a kiss.

A little dazed from how rapidly the simple peck escalated, you pulled back to politely pant, “oh, yeah? What are you in the mood for?”

Flashing you a smirk, he cocked his head and said, “what do you think I wanna eat?” and if his tone didn’t manage to squash any ounce of doubt you had that he wasn’t in fact talking about food, the sensation of his hands sinking down to palm your bottom though the flannel made it crystal clear.

“Frank,” you giggled as his fingertips discovered your lack of underwear.

“What?” you watched as he slowly sank down onto his knees before you, “is what a no?” his eyes stayed glued to yours as his beard tickled your thigh.

“No,” your legs gently wiggled further apart, letting him spot the glint of your want that had dripped down your inner thighs.

“No, it’s not a no, or no, you’re in the mood for something else?” you sucked in a sharp breath as his ghosting touch teased your goosebump-ridden legs, “because I think we still have a bit of bread left or there might be some leftovers in the fridge.”

Losing track of all of the metaphors through the fuzzy haze his teasing touch set you in, you mumbled, “I–, what?” and a small whine then fell from your lips, “fuck… Frank, I–… can you just–, please?”

“I can do a lot of things, sweetheart,” he pressed a peck to the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, “what do you want me to do?”

“Oh my god,” you sighed, an airy chuckle flowing from your lips as you threw you head back and gazed up at the fluffy clouds visible above the rusty roof, “you’re such an ass.”

“Ah, I can be a lot worse, don’t you worry,” his devilish hands slithered up to your bottom and lightly raked his short fingernails over each cheek.

You sounded downright pathetic as you pleaded, “can you please–,“ but his playful tone cut you off before it flourished into a full sentence.

“Yeah?”

Blinking down at him, you desperately hiked the oversized shirt further up and asked, “…eat me out?”

Grin growing wider, he didn’t hesitate before diving in. Cracking you further open for him, he hoisted your left thigh up onto his broad shoulder and buried his face in your want. Holding you steady with one hand digging into your ass and the other firm at your hip, he zealously parted your petals and felt your pulse pound against his eager tongue.

As he then brazenly sucked down on your clit, your fingers sought out his dark hair, gripping it tight as your eyes fluttered, “oh my god, tha-that feels so good!”

With your brows tightly knitted together, as your eyes blinked down to meet his ever-unwavering gaze, you couldn’t stop yourself from letting go at a record-breaking time, the show you had imbibed in earlier not aiding in drawing your conclusion out. Trembling above, your legs tried to close around him, but the sensation of your thighs pressing against his thick skull didn’t face him one bit as he only held you tighter and kept up his keen kisses.

Back arched against the railing, your chest rose and fell rapidly as Frank twisted his head to place pecks along your inner thigh, the soft flutter only issued a stubborn clench to your cunt in desire for more.

Hooking your grip in the fabric of his shirt, you pulled him back up and desperately crashed your lips against his, feeling your desire sodden in his beard and tasting your adoration on his tongue.

“Alright,” he dreamily disconnected from your needy kiss, “but seriously now,” he drew in a methodical breath through his nose as if in an attempt to calm his own desires down enough before he asked, “what do you want for breakfast?” clearly assuming that the morrow coitus wouldn’t go any further.

Puffing out a hazy grin, you simply let your palm drop to the tent in his trousers and leaned back in to utter against his lips, “I don’t care what’s for breakfast,” your touch tightened insistently over the clear imprint of his desire, “just shut up and fuck me.”

A silent and amazed laugh slipped out past his lips as you tugged at his waistband, “yes, ma’am,” stealing one last kiss before he spun you back around. Grasping onto the railing, your hazy gaze washed over the idyllic scenery as you felt Frank free his length and sweep it through your dripping folds, nudging persistently against your pearl before gliding down to catch your entrance with his tip.

The morning sunlight dazzled in the lake beyond, glittering and flickering just like the sparks that buzzed inside of you.

Giving you just an inch, you felt your forms sigh in unison, your breaths harmoniously synced in satisfaction.

“Did I tell you how good you look in my shirt?” his low timbre crackled in your ear like a warm fire as he slowly rolled his hips, deliberately taking his time, letting you worship every maddening detail of his cock, “because you do,” you felt his palms snake up to squeeze your tits through the flannel, “feel free to steal them any time you want.”

Mouth agape, your head fell back against his chest as shaky moans slipped out at every unhurried rock to his hips.

“You sure it’s not the lack of anything underneath that you like so much?” you grinned, your hips rolling back against his deliberate efforts.

“Well, I’m certainly not complaining about that part,” he chuckled and pressed his lips to your neck, “I think you might be able to get me to do anything you wish dressed exactly like this.”

“Oh yeah?” your giggle broke up your moans, “anything I wish?”

“Mhm,” he hummed gravelly, his fingers nimbly undoing a few of the buttons and granting his grasp access to slip in and seep across your tingly flesh, “fucking anything…”

Sinking in deeper with every gentle thrust, your left hand lowered and began to draw tight circles over your clit as the other’s grip tightened around the railing, your nails leaving crescent-shaped imprints in the raw wood.

But when his lips began to wander across the side of your neck in a way that made you feel as if he was kissing every millimetre of your body, that’s when you felt your legs begin to tremble once more. The intensity of his slow pace began to grow within you, nearly being too much for you to take, so when his fingers sought out your pebbly nipples in a dizzying pinch, that’s when your frame jerked, Frank’s throbbing girth sliding out of you from just how hard you were squeezing down on him, and as your front collided with the fence, your fingertips furiously kept up their pace and kept your orgasm going, convulsing for all of the flora and fauna to see.

Leaning with your folded-up arms against the top of the banister, Frank’s burly arms, which were still enveloped around you, tightened as you felt the warmth of his front melt against your curved spine. Letting one of your hands drop, it swiftly found his and weaved itself with it as you drew it up higher to press it against your thumping heart. Though when your pulse began to calm, you raised your tangled fingers further, all the way up so that your lips could press against the back of his palm.

As you slowly unfurled your form, your fluttery kisses gently danced up his arm till you found yourself facing him once more with your lips attached to his collarbone.

His bulbous tip leaked against the few buttons that were still fastened on the shirt you wore and his wide palms slid down past your waist to knead your bottom and draw you that much closer.

Shuffling your feet, you gently pushed against his brick house of a frame for him to shift as well. Backing up, you crossed the short width of the porch till the back of Frank’s knees bumped into the solid bench that sat flush against the exterior wall. As he buckled and planted himself on it, it only took half a second for you to curl into his lap.

Grabbing the sides of your face and bringing you into a sloppy kiss, you snaked a hand down between your frames and seized his dick. A low moan vibrated against your tongue as you raised up your hips and rubbed his hardness against your slick a moment before slowly sinking down, his lips falling from yours as you did so. Gazing back at him through your lashes, you saw as his eyes stayed shut, his mouth hung agape and his head gently fell back against the wall, the sensation of your warmth enveloping him evidently rocking him to his very core.

Gliding your grasp into place over his broad shoulders, you slowly drew your hips up before easing back down, all the while taking in every little micro-reaction you stirred on your partner's face.

“Christ, you feel so good,” he groaned, hazily peeling his eyelids open to blink back at you with a stary gaze, “so fucking warm,” he leaned back in a murmured against your lips, “and wet...”

One of your elbows bent and curled the remainder of the limb over his head, your fingers weaving into his short waves as you slowly nuzzled your nose against his, gently sweeping from side to side and sharing his hot breath as you leisurely bounced in his lap.

Keeping one of his palms glued to your hot cheek, the other one drifted down to undo the last remaining buttons, freeing your tits completely. His gaze lowered to watch them sway with your slow movements, the open flannel now akin to a curtain flowing next to the soft peaks.

“Fuck,” he moaned, holding you close as his dark brows knitted together, “if you keep going like that, you’ll make me cum.”

“Good,” you panted as you too felt the end near once more. With your forehead pressed to his, you shakily rode him, keeping up the same leisurely pace, feeling every single part of him intoxicatingly stretch you out, till his groans grew louder and his eyes screwed shut, digging his fingers into your hair as his length twitched inside of you and you creamed all over his cock, your amalgamation mingling and becoming indistinguishable from one another’s euphoric juices.

Burying your features in the crook of his neck, your breaths came in ragged as you felt how tightly your cunt was clenching around him. But nevertheless, you simply stayed there, frozen atop of him and with his softening girth still embedded deep within you.

“Oh my god,” you groaned light-heartedly into his skin, “you fucking dick.”

“What?” he chuckled warmly in your ear.

“No, it’s just,” you huffed out laboured breaths as you hazily explained, “you made me cum so hard and now I feel like a fucking virgin…” but when his reaction was to try and pluck you off of him, a sharp hiss escaped your lips, “no, no!” your arms tightened around his neck, “stay, stay,” your alarming tone was softened by a shuttering whimper.

Seizing your cheek, he gingerly drew you back for him to take in your fuzzy expression, “oh, you want me to stay?” he smiled at the pout that had formed on your lips, and a sluggish nod tipped your head at his playful tone, “alright,” he tilted his chin and pressed a kiss to the edge of your hairline, “I can stay.”

“It’s dumb,” you murmured as you felt his pecks flutter down your face, “but I’m just kinda scared that if you pull out I’ll just somehow close up completely.”

“You won’t,” a soft chuckle rumbled within his chest as he neared your lips, “don’t worry, I’ll help you if it ever comes to that.”

Tilting your chin, you pressed your lips to his, your tongue swiftly swooping in to dance lazily against his own.

Goosebumps erupted across your skin as you felt his touch lightly ghost all along your spine, caressing up and down the length of you as your kiss grew sloppy.

As you noticed your sensitive pussy begin to relax, so too did you sense when Frank’s cock, which previously hadn’t gone completely soft yet, began to swell within you, the sensation making your hips instinctively grind down against him as the sensation consumed you.

And with his lips never leaving yours, a light squeak escaped your lungs as Frank suddenly rose to his feet, scooping you with him, his fat cock all the while still staying warm within you.

As his slow stride carried you back inside, your gaze was hazy as his kisses migrated down your neck, but when you passed the kitchen, your eyes snapped back open, “wait,” you stopped him and his lips detached from your pounding pulse, a string of saliva still keeping him connected to where a lavender love mark had begun to bloom, “I’m thirsty! I still–,” keeping one arm hooked around his neck, you carefully pointed to the half-full glass still on the counter, “my water is right over there.”

With one hand under your bottom and the other clasped at your waist, he redirected his steps and walked over to the small open kitchen. Once he reached the counters, a sly smirk seeped across his features as he commanded, “hold on tighter,” and as you did, his grip then shifted and let go of your side to grasp the glass of water.

“You know, you could just put me down,” you chuckled as he lifted the drink up to your lips, carefully tilting it and granting you a sip.

“Now where’s the fun in that?” his coffee gaze stayed fast on your lips as you drank. When you tipped your head back to halt the flow, a little droplet escaped the corner of your mouth, rolled down your chin and all the way to your exposed chest. Setting the glass back down, he swiftly dragged the back of his index finger along the glistening stripe and wiped it up, “making a fucking mess,” briefly leaning in to clean up the rest with his tongue.

Giggling fleetingly at his comment, you asked, “do you want a sip?” but he only gazed back at you and gently shook his head, other desires more prevalent in his mind.

Biting down on your bottom lip, you felt his girth throb inside of you.

As his stride slowly began to return towards the bedroom, it only took you letting your arms hang at your sides a moment for the flannel to cascade off of you and drop to the floorboards.

Craning his neck, he buried his face in your boobs, nipping and nuzzling gently against the soft flesh as you insistently tugged at his grey tank, one of your socked feet also shifted and nudged at his waistband in an attempt at getting him to the same level of undress as you were at. But unfortunately, none of your efforts yielded much success as his grip on you halted the fabric from exposing too much of his warm flesh.

You hadn’t truly comprehended that you’d reached your destination before your spine pressed against the doorframe, Frank momentarily using it as leverage as he carefully lifted you off him, shifting his hold on you as you felt his previous load begin to drip out.

Gingerly plopping you down onto the bed, you expected him to melt down atop of you and bury himself so deep inside of you that you wouldn’t be able to walk for a whole week, instead his warmth disappeared as he took a few steps back, his dark eyes glued to you and the mess between your lazily fallen open thighs, as he stripped off the clothes that clung to his bulky physique.

Raising yourself up onto your elbows, your teeth snatched up your bottom lip as you spotted the lewd stain on the front of his pants, completely sodden with your essence.

He was surely taking his time with it, putting on a show and letting you drool over every sliver of skin he revealed, but perhaps it was just your impatience getting the best of you, because when the last bit of fabric finally dropped to the floor and he stood there a second in all of his jaw-dropping glory, you heard your whine resonate within the cabin, “Frank, my legs feel like jello,” a breathy laugh slipped out past your pout as you feared he’d ask you to come crawling to him, “please get back over here.”

Choking down a laugh of his own, he painfully slowly stepped closer to you, your thighs splitting wider as he neared.

“You sure?” he playfully cocked his brow as his fist closed in around his fat base, stroking himself agonisingly close to your puffy pussy, “I thought you said I made you come so hard that now you can’t take it anymore,” smiling as you attempted to wiggle closer without any success, “you sure you can handle more?”

“Yes,” flowed from your lips as you stared at the way his grip slid up and down his intimidating length, the lingering gloss making his movements go molten, “yes, I can take it, please, I want more.”

Finally granting you a tad of contact, he tapped the hefty weight against your swollen pearl, “yeah?” gliding his free palm down your inner thigh to fight it as it jerked in response, “this what you want?” he repeated the action, the lewd soppy smack resonating within the room, “or was it more something like this,” you gasped as he suddenly slid the entirety of his length inside of you.

“H-holy shit!” you felt all of the air get pushed out of your lungs as his tip nudged against the deepest part of you, a sensation that caused your limbs to tremble at his sides.

“What?” he smirked, pulling back out completely, and gliding his weight through your soppy folds, parting them with his girth as he rubbed against your clit, “I didn’t quite catch that,” your hazy gaze fluttered down to see how far up your stomach his length rested, the staggering image efficiently causing your brain to melt out of your ear.

“Yo-you, you, yes!” you blubbered incoherently, “that–, yes!”

“What? This?” he bullied your clit further.

“Ah!” you moaned sharply, “no, no–”

“Oh, you mean this?” he slammed back inside of you so fiercely that tears formed in the corners of your eyes, “is this what you want? Would this make you happy?” he slowly eased back out, just halfway, before burying himself once more, “because you know that’s all I want, is just to make my girl happy.”

Mouth agape, you watched as he fucked you, still standing tall next to where to laid melted against the mattress, but when you noticed the dull bulge that rhythmically appeared in the lower part of your stomach, your eyes grew wide, and the tangible proof made your pussy threaten to flutter around his girth.

“F-Frank!” you whimpered as he gazed down at you, admiring the way you took his entirety, “I think I'm gonna–”

“What?” he offered you one last thrust before retracting completely, leaving you squirming as he dropped down to his knees before you, “you’re gonna what?”

Both of his thumbs briefly came up to spread your puff apart for him, granting him a great view of your collected mess that still oozed out of you. redirecting his gaze to stare up at you, he placed a few teasing pecks along your glistening petals, his prominent nose nudging against your puffy clit as he teased you, making his way up to lap a cruelly light lick to your sensitive pearl.

“I am waiting patiently here,” two of his fingers came to fill you up, hooking inside of you and swiftly initiating a rocking rhythm against that spot that conjured the lewdest of squelching melodies, “what are you gonna do, huh?” and as he sucked down on your clit, he only did so for what felt like a second before it all became too intense and your pussy gushed around his determined digits, a display he had obviously hoped for as he bellowed gravelly, “there it is,” a feral look glazing over his intense gaze as he tickled out as much of your nectar as you’d grant him, “fuck!”

As you laid there quivering and shaking on the crumbled sheets, the last thing you’d expected after a high so paralysing was for you to crave more, and you did. In a deep and primal way that you couldn’t quite wrap your head around. In a way that caused you to sluggishly yank him up onto the bed and feel his weight on top of you, a sensation you didn’t get to savour long before he rolled around, taking you with him as he planted his head upon the pillows still at the top of the bed and manhandling you on top of him.

Body melted and plastered atop of his, you uttered into his skin, “you’re being so mean.”

Digging his grip into your hips, he grinded you down against him and checked, “too mean?”

“I–…” you thought about it a second before the corners of your lips began to tip upwards, “no… I like it, but you’re just still mean.”

Manoeuvring your molten frame, he lifted your pelvis up far enough for him to slip back inside.

“Yeah, well, what else is new,” you felt his low chuckle rumble in his burly chest beneath your cheek, “we can’t all be a ray of sunshine like you.”

Keeping his grasp glued to your hips, you swiftly discovered that your exhausted limbs weren’t up to the task of doing all of the work independently and became ever so grateful when you didn’t even have to ask for help as Frank began to rock your frame for you, moving you like a toy on top of him.

Arms curling up and retracting in against your form, you smooshed your cheek further down against his chest as you drooled on his pecks, the rocking motion nearly lulling you off into a dream, but before you could fade away completely, Frank’s voice washed over you once more.

“Hey, sweetheart?”

“Mhm?” you mewled as he fucked you down upon him.

“Can you open your eyes for me?”

And when you did, it took your fuzzy gaze a moment before you spotted the mirror on the far side wall and the reflection in it, but when you did notice it, the shuttering moan you let out left no doubt in Frank’s mind if you had or not.

“Look at how fucking pretty you are when you’re all fucked out,” you felt him shift his hold so that he kept your hips stagnant and bucked his own up into you in such a way that caused your head to levitate just a centimetre off his pecks as his balls slapped against you from the force of his efforts, “can you keep your beautiful eyes right there on the mirror? I want you to see how cute you look when you cum…”

You weren’t sure that cute was the specific word you would have used to describe how it looked when he once again made you squirt all over his cock. But sure, you could see how in Frank’s eyes you must have looked utterly adorable gushing around him from just how good he made you feel.

Rolling over, you both now laid on your sides with your limp leg flung over his hip and his flush face clutched in your palms as you held him close in the silky embrace.

“Frank,” your woollen-socked foot caressed his lower back as it methodically moved beneath it with every lavish thrust, “I don’t think I can cum again.”

“Is that a challenge?” his warm palm slid down your frame and he pressed his middlemost fingers down upon your overly sensitive clit, “because I think you can. I even think you can squirt some more for me,” and as he angled his molten motions, he didn’t quit till your face screwed up and squelching noises echoed at every zealous plunge, “such a fucking good girl, you can do it, just let go, I’ve got you,” he talked you through your high as it crashed into you, nearly knocking you out completely as your body fulfilled his wish and his own peak swiftly followed suit as your clambering pussy milked him dry.

With sweet sweat glistening up your skin, you felt utterly boneless as you laid there in Frank’s arms. Placing a few slow pecks all along the length of his nose, he hummed contentedly and a soft smile warmth up his features.

After nearly falling back asleep in the safe cocoon that was the post-coital bliss, you heard yourself ask after you both landed on not slumbering the day away.

“You wanna take a shower before we actually figure something real out for breakfast?”

“Wow, okay,” he jokingly scoffed as he began to drag himself out of the bed, “but don’t think this is gonna work a third time.”

“What?” you chuckled as he got up to his feet and pulled open the top dresser drawer for a few fresh towels, “no, I seriously just mean cleaning up before we eat!”

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thefunkfactory · 16 days

Text

Preston’s Putrescence Permutation

Preston was coming home from a long night at school, he had just left his 6 hour long study session and was heading up the stairs to his apartment, Preston was praying that his roommate was already asleep. Preston’s roommate was notoriously gassy, day and night he would let massive, stinking farts fly out of his ass wherever he was, and given that he didn’t have a job he was always in the apartment. Preston wished he could just move out but his roommate, Carlos, paid more than half of the rent and bills via the money his parents gave him. As Preston unlocked the door he was hit with the stench of stale farts, obviously Carlos was especially gassy today given the fact that the stench floating around the room was even more noxious than usual. Covering his nose with the collar of his crewneck Preston entered the apartment and saw his roommate passed out face down on the couch. Being relieved that Carlos wouldn’t purposefully torment him with his farts, Preston set his things down and made his way to the kitchen to make dinner.

Preston is being extra careful not to make any loud noises so as not to disturb the gassy giant slumbering on the couch. Preston was whipping up a really simple meal, just a peanut butter jelly sandwich, so at least he could get something in his belly before he went to bed. He finished putting the jelly on a slice of bread, he dropped the butter knife he was using onto the floor. Crossing his fingers that he didn’t wake up Carlos, Preston bent down and picked up the knife. As he stood up he could hear Carlos groggily groan “Don’t make so much noise loser”, pissed at himself that he managed to wake up Carlos Preston picked up the knife and responded by saying “Sorry Carlos I’ll try to be quieter”. Carlos mumbled to him “Yea yea you better”, and with that Carlos put his head back down and Preston finished up making his sandwich. As Preston was cleaning up he clumsily knocked his plate onto the ground breaking it into a handful of pieces of cheap plastic. Quickly scattering to pick up the pieces, Preston was really praying hard that Carlos somehow didn’t hear that. As he looked up from his position on the floor he came face to face with Carlos’ crotch. Carlos said with an air of annoyance in his voice “What did I tell you about being quieter?! I thought you were smart enough to heed my warning…”, “Im so sorry Carlos I-.” Carlos cut Preston off and said “You know the punishment…don’t move”. Preston got up quickly and blurted out “No! I'm not letting you fart in my face again just because I dropped a plate!”, Carlos looked at him with a look of shock that quickly turned into a look of irritation. “Oh is that so?” taunted Carlos “What are you gonna do to stop me?”. Preston, not thinking this far ahead, responded with “Well I…uhhh” but before he could finish his sentence Carlos threw Preston down onto the floor. “OW WHAT THE HELL CARLOS?!” Preston yelled getting up, Carlos said nothing but pushed Preston’s rising body back down so he was resting on his knees. Preston watched as a terrifying grin grew across Carlos’ face, “What are you-?” Preston began to ask but was cut off as Carlos, looking into Preston’s confused eyes, let out a massive fart. Preston watched as an almost cartoonish green fog began to shoot out from behind Carlos. As the fart cloud began to fill the room Preston, more confused than ever, watched as Carlos took a deep breath, letting the green cloud funnel up his own nostrils, and let out a satisfied sigh as his eyes rolled back for just a moment. Preston tried to hold his breath but couldn’t hold it forever, running out of air Preston tried to get up but was met with Carlos pushing him down by his shoulders. As Preston struggled he involuntarily took a breath of air as his body needed to get some oxygen. Preston’s lungs were not met with fresh air but were met with a rush of methane, practically smelling like one of Yellowstone's Sulfuric pools.

Carlos watched as Preston’s eyes unfocused and his body stopped struggling, knowing it had begun, Carlos felt like speeding up the process of creating an obedient roommate who would be incapable of challenging Carlos. Carlos let another sulfur smelling cloud rip right out of his rank ass, adding to the green haze filling the room. Watching Preston breathe in more of his butt funk, Carlos proudly laid his eyes upon his soon to be obedient roommate and proclaimed “Soon my super-human flatulence will begin to make you feel much better about living together with me”. Preston, being overtaken by the stench, thought one last thought, “What is he talking about?”, and then Preston felt the cloud of farts wafting around him reach his brain. He felt the thought he just had evaporate into the cloud making its way through his head. Everything Preston had ever thought was being corrupted and concocted into his very own stinkbomb, swirling in his gut. At random thoughts about how much he despised his roommate’s childish behavior, how he wished he could just leave, and how Carlos’ stink is probably fused into everything in the apartment, all were wiped straight out of his mind and transformed into a fart cloud developing in his gut. Next to go was Preston’s intelligence, his knowledge of complex math formulas disappeared, his ability to remember specific historical events…gone, all knowledge about science, art, etc. all gone straight to his gut to be churned into one massive cloud of growing flatulence. Finally Preston’s memory was changed by Carlos’ funky fumes. All of Preston’s memories of growing up an only child, being a proper and polite member of society, and his memories of being a good kid, never capable of mischief or mean spirited pranks, were altered into memories of growing up with his older brother Carlos, not ever learning manners as a kid, and using his noxious fart funk to daze and control all of his friends minds as a prank. Not a single intelligent thought or uncorrupted memory was left floating around, all that was floating around his mind now was the stinky fart his brother Carlos just blasted into the room.

Feeling the pressure in his gut become impossible to stop, Preston let out a massive billowing cloud of green vapors blast out of his ass and into the room. Taking a deep sniff Carlos knew that Preston’s mind was no more, patting him on the shoulder Carlos said “How you feeling lil bro?”. Preston still a little dazed looked at Carlos dumbfounded before taking in a breath of his recently eradicated old life, Preston took in a deep breath and let out a satisfied sigh just like his big bro Carlos and dumbly said “Brooo I feel so light headed and uhhhh gassy”. Carlos responded with “Good that's how you should feel Pedro!”, “Pedro?” questioned Preston, “Who is Pedro? Im uhhh Preston”. Realizing his corrupting farts must have missed a spot Carlos said “Stay right there lil bro” and took a step back. Preston, not wanting to ever go against his big bro, complied and stayed sat on his knees. Taking a second to allow a new mind shattering fart to ripen, squatted and concentrated really hard. Preston, after thinking really hard, had a burgeoning thought barely come together. Preston thought to himself “Who…who is Pedro?” and as he completed that thought after a good solid minute of unbridled concentration, Carlos was ready. Without warning Carlos quickly shifted over to Preston and let out a newly ripened puff of putrid air that would correct the last kink in Preston’s mind. Carlos backed off and waved the malodorous fart towards his little brother, proudly looking upon his little brother filled to the brim with both obedience and the mind altering flatulence that Carlos possesses. Preston would forget all about that name, he would be left with the knowledge that his name is and always has been…Pedro.

#farts #dumber #stink #face farts #latino

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dangerehrenn · 1 year

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duddddeeee okay so imagine reader is put in a kinda sexy outfit for a prank and the members are all just flustered as fuck while talking and teasing her

i LOVE this

fem!reader, kinda went off track lol sorryyyy

when you fluster (?) the guys

you’re wearing a nurse outfit you found in your trailer

but the skirt is far too short and the shirt is a tad bit too tight

you know you were put in this outfit to be a ‘distraction’

you don’t mind it though

all eyes are on you and you’re loving it

you’re not sure who’s idea it was, your bet is on spike

regardless of who’s idea it was, it’s getting lots of positive reactions

you casually walk up to the boys who are all sat in an almost circle, talking about stunts they have to do or have done in the past

knoxville is speaking as you walk towards them but he instantly loses his train of thought

not seeing you, bam starts to make fun of johnny for it while taking a sip of his beer

but chokes slightly as he notices you, cheeks going red as you give him a knowing look

“where’s this little get up from?” chris says

“dunno, it was in my trailer with a note saying for me to put it on”

“ok, who’s idea was this?” dave says after looking you up and down, trying his hardest to avoid eye contact

steveo wolf whistles you, telling you to spin

“yeah y/n, spin” wee man says

you do a spin and you hear murmurs of “damn” and “holy shit”

suddenly ehren has to excuse himself, causing the boys to erupt into laughter

“where you going ehren?” bam shouts

“no where!! it- it’s unrelated!”

you take a seat next to preston and ryan

and you fully realise that all your friends have a staring problem

and they all have slight blushes on their faces

it boosts your ego though, so you cant really complain

“you ever find out who left you that outfit? tell me, i wanna thank them personally” knoxville says with a smirk and a laugh

#jackass #jackass hcs #jackass headcanons #jackass x reader #johnny knoxville headcanons #chris pontius headcanons #ryan dunn headcanons #bam margera headcanons #danger ehren x reader #ehren mcghehey headcanons #dave england x reader #johnny knoxville x reader #bam margera x reader #ryan dunn x reader #steveo x reader

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minuteminx · 1 year

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I’m probably late to the party, but TIL that Preston’s artists drew influence from several characters in media, most notably Myles Dyson from Terminator, so now I’m looking at pictures of Joe Morton like 👀. The similarities!

#fallout 4 #preston garvey #preston positive

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bellonathedragonborn · 8 months

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A cute photo of Preston, Gabby, and Dogmeat.

#Dogmeat #preston garvey #Preston positive #fallout #fallout 4 #sole survivor #Gabriella Odiha

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neil-gaiman · 1 year

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Hi there, I recently finally got around to watching The Sandman and while I overall enjoyed the episodes and the show.... I do have a genuine question. I'm a plus size woman and it was quite disheartening for me, to see Despair being portrayed in that way. She's only seen as frumpy, depressed and not really loved by anyone. Is there any chance we'll ever see some positive plus size representation for someone who looks like me in the series? It would be nice to see more of that in media for women my size.

Mostly, what I hope is that the next time you see Despair on the screen you won't think. of her as frumpy, depressed and unloved. She isn't in the comics, and I think we missed what we were aiming for in Sandman Season 1.

But yes, as well, on casting.

(You'll see Donna Preston in Season 2 of Good Omens, as well, playing Mrs Sandwich, a part a long way from Despair.)

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datura-tea · 3 days

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i noticed something. there's a trend in fandom where people dismiss black characters as boring and useless no matter how much they enrich the narrative, right? we've seen it with preston garvey, with wyll ravengard, with maximus in the fallout show, with countless other characters... but as a years-long ulysses enthusiast i've never seen anyone call him boring. he's been called many things, of course: obnoxious, annoying, difficult to understand, confusing, insufferable, a bitch, to name a few. people have come into my askbox to tell me they kill him every time, someone replied once that they want to set him on fire, etc etc. in short, people hate him

what i'm wondering now is... why is that? what is it about ulysses that makes him not boring but rage-inducing instead? is it because he's not a main companion (who you can simply leave at camp), and you can't ignore him if you want to know the whole story? is it because he, as a character, dares you, the player, to confront your actions? is it because he's pivotal to the dlcs, arguably the main game, and you have no choice but to engage with him, and on his own terms?

and anyway, why is the fandom fate of a black character either ambivalence and dismissal or straight-up hate and violence? sure there are small and vocal pockets of love for these characters, but those are small islands in a sea of negativity. i mean, we had to make a separate "preston positive" tag, for god's sake. what gives

#i mean i know the answer but yknow #shh peri shhh #ive seen more love for ulysses growing now tho :) but a few years ago it was a different story #ulysses meta

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lokisprettygirl · 1 month

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Utopia (Modern! Daemon Targaryen x female reader) (Non Canon AU) (18+)

Read chapter 8 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 9

Summary: Daemon gives you the gift of a lifetime.

Warning: 18+ sex ,period sex (if it bothers you skip the scene) death and destruction that comes from a ship wreckage, smut, sex, menstrual sex, unprotected sex. Some inconsistency with ship sinking, i researched as much as I could

You were sitting in the office of the hiring manager of Casatopia, a popular five star hotel just outside London, it was closer to your house though and that's what you liked. Emma had asked Dalton to give your name for the vacant sous chef position so you decided to give it a try.

You couldn't just stay at home and miss Daemon like crazy when he wasn't around you, being at home all day long was driving you bonkers. The topia in the name made you feel slightly uneasy but you ignored the thought and decided to focus on the interview.

“So how was it at night ..over there?” Preston, the manager, asked you so you gave him a confused look, hoping that he would be able to provide you with a bit more context.

“I apologize I don't understand” you mumbled politely so he gave you a small smile.

“On the island I meant, I hope I'm not stepping on your boundaries, I'm just absolutely fascinated by your survival story” he said to you, his tone was gentle and filled with genuine curiosity.

Of Course he was curious. As soon as people recognised you this was how it went, perhaps you should consider scraping 'Worked as a sous chef on Queen Utopia' from your resume. You couldn't help but feel that it may not be the most professional topic to discuss at a job interview.

“It was tough but atleast I wasn't alone, I had someone who kept me sane there, there are people on this earth who have survived months with no one by their side so I'm grateful to not be alone in that situation” you mumbled politely as you understood where he was coming from.

Prior to your experiences on the ship and the island, you were one of those people who would read about survival stories and be amazed at what the survivors had accomplished. You always found it impossible to imagine yourself in such a situation and couldn't comprehend how someone could have the resilience and to make it through something like that.

That was, until you found yourself in a similar situation on the island, and your survival instincts began to kick in.

“Yeah I know..Daemon Targaryen, you lot are famous” You gave him a tight lipped smile as he said that.

A news article had picked up Lily's reddit post which had then reached the mainstream media. The backlash was brutal, but you and Daemon stood firm and refused to get caught up in the drama. You both knew that your love and appreciation for each other shouldn't have needed any justification after the traumatic event you both had been through. It should have been self-explanatory,

“Alright you're hired” he said to you so you furrowed your brows as he didn't really ask anything about your work experiences.

“You don't want to know anything about my capabilities or -” he interrupted you before you could even finish your sentence.

“Dalton told me enough..i just wanted to meet you if I'm being honest”

Were you getting some sort of hero privilege because of your suffering? You weren't sure if you enjoyed being favored like this or not. The attention you received was overwhelming and at times made you feel uncomfortable, especially when it seemed like people were looking at you as some kind of hero rather than a regular human being who just happened to have survived a traumatic experience when there really wasn't any other option.

“Our live band quit on us a few days ago and we are looking for a band again, though i have connected with the manager already, i hope The Dragonriders would accept the job”

You sighed as he said that and you were going to politely decline the job offer but then he passed you the salary slip and you accepted it almost immediately, it was more than you could have ever imagined.

Later that day as you reached home after that weird interview session, there was a text from Daemon, he was supposed to meet you at your place..

You grabbed a few things and called a cab to make way to his place. He had given you a key to his house for emergencies purposes and normally you'd just knock but you decided to make use of the key this time, as you knew that Daemon was in pain and likely resting in bed.

As you entered his bedroom he was laying on the bed with his head squished into the pillow so you climbed into the bed and wrapped your arm around him, as soon as he felt your touch his arm circled around your waist and he placed his head between the crook of your neck. His eyes were bloodshot red, his face was warm to the touch as well, he seemed flushed and even though he was in misery at the moment you couldn't help but notice how pretty he looked like this.

“Let me take care of you ok..did you take your pill?” You asked him softly as you scratched his scalp so he barely groaned in response.

“I'll be right back okay?” you got up from the bed, turning off all the lights in the room, as you knew how sensitive Daemon was to bright lights. You brought out the candles you had packed with you and began lighting them, casting a warm soft glow around the room. You then made your way to the kitchen to fetch a bowl of ice water and a wet cloth. Once everything was ready, you returned to Daemon's room and gently tapped his shoulder to get his attention so he scooted closer and placed his head on your lap.

Dipping the cloth in the icy cold water you placed it on his forehead and he sighed as he felt the cooling sensation, he opened his eyes to look at you for a moment, his lips curved into a faint smile before he closed his eyes again and allowed you to do your thing.

He had never had anyone caring about him like this, this was one of those things that made him feel closer to you on the island and he had come to realize how precious you actually were inside out.

And now your value in his life was something nobody else would ever be able to replicate or replace.

During his migraine attacks the most Lily ever did for him was that she'd sing at times and not that he was going to compare you two, he appreciated her efforts too but you just did it differently, you took care of him in ways he always wanted to be cared for.

He laid there quite for what felt like hours and as the burning pain gradually subsided, he took your hand and kissed it lovingly before he asked you to stop, he just wanted to hold you now and cuddle the night away.

“Emma found us a gig” he mumbled so you sighed in response. You were well aware of the gig.

“She found me a job as well at Casatopia” you said to him so nodded in acknowledgement. He already knew about that.

“Fate” he muttered softly so you pecked on his lips.

“It's giving me deja vu.. doesn't it feel weird to you that we'd be working again at the same place, in the hospitality industry no less? And there's literally topia in the name?”

He pulled away a little as you said that, he wasn't really thinking about it until you pointed it out.

“Are you worried something awful is going to happen again?” he asked you with concern evident in his voice.

“Yeah..what if the hotel burns down or explodes? Or something” you mumbled, your voice held a sense of foreboding.

“That's not going to happen sweetheart..you can't go about your life living in such fear but that is not to say that your fears are not valid, they truly are ..but no matter what happens I'll find you like you have found me..i promise okay?” he reassured you gently and you couldn't help but smile at that. The trauma was indented into you so deeply but with him by your side life was so much easier to deal with.

“Are you feeling okay now?” You asked him so he hummed in response,

“I'd feel much better if you'd ride me right about now” he gave you a mischievous smirk so you tapped on his cheek lightly.

“Dirty boy” you mumbled as you climbed on top of him and immediately unbuttoned his pants. Sometimes you both needed this quick raw fuck where no foreplay was a necessity or required, you just wanted to feel him inside you and he was more than eager to spill into you as fast as you could make him.

“Would you keep your schedule clear for the next week?” he asked you so you looked at him curiously.

“The whole week? I'm starting that job..”

“Can you talk to them and start a week later?” He mumbled as his breath hitched in his chest when you sunk down on him,

“Normally it would have seemed impossible but considering that manager is such a fan of ours I think I can manage” you chuckled softly and that made him smile too.

“Mmmm the trauma has its perks huh?”

You rode him very slowly at first as you just wanted to feel him in there, your fingers worked the buttons of his shirt and then you leaned down to suck on his neck before you lowered your mouth and pressed kisses on his bare chest.

“What are you planning?” You whispered in his ear so he gave you a smile.

“I'm taking you somewhere sweetheart”

“I can't ask where?”

He shook his head as you said that.

“It's a surprise”

“Alrighty”

Next day while Daemon was rehearsing with the band you sat down in front of the tv and received a surprising albeit not really shocking news, you had a feeling that Danny had something to do with the ship sinking incident and you were proven right.

He had come out in the open to tell that he had inadvertently left the cargo hatch open on the lower deck because he was distracted by something and someone, which allowed water to enter and resulted in the sinking, when he had realised it was too late to fix it. His video had received a million views where he was seen crying and apologizing because he couldn't bear the guilt of it anymore.

Even though Danny hadn't directly implicated Lily in his statement, you couldn't shake the feeling that her involvement was still tied to the tragedy because she had sent that voicemail that night to Daemon mentioning Danny and you had seen Danny at her house that night.

As you watched the news, you found yourself at a loss for words. How could Danny have made such a devastating mistake, especially when so much was at stake? The consequences of his actions were unfathomable, and you couldn't help but feel a mixture of anger, sadness, and frustration bubbling up inside you.

People had lost their lives, families had been torn apart, and all because of one person's negligence.

You felt enraged because he was the reason why you had to suffer for so long on that Island, all of this for what?

All you felt in that moment was resentment and anger towards Lily and Danny, that night when he looked into your eyes you didn't understand that look he gave you but now you knew it was probably guilt.

Given the severity of the situation, it was likely that he was going to get charged with manslaughter and his life was ruined, that was given.

When you saw Daemon that day he seemed lost too so you just wrapped your arms around him and hugged him tightly to comfort him.

“Did she ever tell you about this?”

You asked him as you pulled away so he shook his head lightly,

“I can't make sense of it…how could you be involved in something like that and then..she must have known that ship would sink and she didn't even try to warn us or— i -” you rubbed his shoulders with your fingers to comfort him as you heard his voice breaking, he was at loss of words as well, same as you but it was more difficult for him because Lily was involved.

“You spend years with someone and you think you know who they are but I.. didn't know her ..at all. How could I have been in love with her if I didn't know her like that?” his eyes teared up as he questioned you so you cupped his cheeks and kissed his forehead.

“It's not that easy.. love is complex..you can't put it in a box like that Daemon..you loved her but honestly she never deserved your love”

He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you closer as you said that, until now he had never heard you saying anything against Lily even when she gave you every reason to do so but now he understood your resentment as he felt the same way about it. He resented her now especially because ever since he had returned all she had tried to do was possess him again, she didn't care what he had gone through and she definitely didn't care that she was one of the reasons why that had happened to him.

He really thought that perhaps with time a friendship could develop between them again but this revelation had changed that for him. He didn't want her in her life anymore, he didn't want to be around her in any form.

A week later you were packing for that surprise trip and Emma offered to help you with that,

“Where is he taking you?” She asked you so you shrugged in response as you didn't know yourself where he was taking you. This was his big surprise.

“He won't say anything..I was hoping he had spilled something to Aemond or Cole-”

“Nahh Aemond would have told me”

You nodded as she said that, the next morning he picked you up in the earliest and as you reached the dock with him your blood ran cold so he took his seat belt off and grabbed your hand.

“I need you to trust me, okay? Can you?” he asked you softly so you gulped in nervousness.

“Are we.. going on a boat ride?” your voice shook as you spoke so he nodded,

“It's going to be ok..I'll take care of you I promise.. I just ..just trust me please”

You cupped his cheeks as he said that. The ocean terrified you, anything to do with ships or boats scared you but you wanted to trust him because you had a feeling this was something really important to him and you had a feeling wherever he was taking you would only bring you happiness because he was certain of it.

As you boarded the high-speed boat, the churning waters and the speed at which the vessel was traveling brought back memories so you spent most of the time being in the deck with Daemon,

Apart from you two there were two trained operators who were going to drive you both towards the destination, you noticed how the boat was equipped with everything you'd ever need in the case of an emergency. Plenty of rations, clothes and other necessities were available.

“How much did you spend on this?” You asked him softly as you both were cuddling on the bed so he gave you a smirk.

“You don't have to worry about that..I wanted to do this for both of us”

He was being so cryptic and mysterious and perhaps you'd have felt wary of a man's intentions but it was Daemon, your cavemon and if there was something you knew about that man then it was the fact that he'd never hurt you or harm you in anyways.

With Daemon by your side the time always seemed to race so approx two days later as you finally reached your destination he put a blindfold over your eyes and asked you to not try to peek until he said so.

You couldn't help but giggle, his excitement was infectious.

He wrapped his arms around your waist as he guided you off the boat and as soon as he put you down you felt the warm sand beneath your feet and let out a literal gasp.

“Daemon–” your voice came out in a whisper and as you inhaled the air, your eyes widened.

You didn't even have to guess anymore as you recognized the scent of your surroundings immediately. You had spent six months here after all.

You were back on the island, the island that had saved your life in a way and brought the love of your life closer to you.

The uninhabited island that was now owned by Daemon Targaryen and had a name now. Utopia- a place where everything was perfect.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Note: There will be an epilogue for this to sum it up. But this was all I had to tell about Mr Cavemon and his brave girl that risked everything for him. Hope my lovely few readers had enjoyed this story 🥺

Taglist

@mcufan72 @123forgottherest @shuichiakainx @stupidthoughtsinwriting @tmlbdv

@ammo23 @anukulee @ajthefujoshi

#daemon targaryen #daemon targaryen x female reader #daemon targaryen x reader smut #daemon targaryen x reader angst #daemon targaryen x reader fluff #non canon au #modern day au #modern daemon targaryen

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