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kyouka-supremacy · 11 months

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Hey! I was summoned by the tags you put under my post bc I also very much enjoy discussing ethics. I might make this into its own post so I'll try to not elaborate too much...

I think that I can't just decide for everyone if the difference between doing good for the sake of goodness or in order to save oneself matters, but for me, in most cases, including Dazai's case, it doesn't.

I like to believe that morality is a choice one can decide to make, and I don't think it's fair to take that away from them, regardless on how they might feel on the inside. It's a wonderful thing to act morally because it's your "natural" tendency, but I think people also have the right to do so deliberately, for a reason that they choose, without their choice being minimised. They're two different processes for sure, but if the outcome is good, then the action is a good action, and, if being moral is a choice, then I don't think I have the right to decide that only one intention or emotion that will lead there is good enough.

Also, doing good for your own sake and for the sake of others are mutually exclusive at all. One feeds the other, and if we were to put every person's actions under such scrutiny, we would ultimately run in circles.

So, for people outside the story, I would say that the debate does matter, but for the sake of the people involved, it doesn't, because the outcome is the same, especially since Dazai is so opaque as a character, and what he really feels about the things he does is so hard to read, so at the end of the day all most of them experience is his actions.

[Post this is referring to] Thank you for your elaboration, I loved hearing your opinion on the matter!!! That's close to consequentialism, isn't it? The consequences of one's actions, how much good they produced, are telling of it being morally right or wrong. I don't necessarily agree, but that's definitely a valid way to see it!!! I personally believe one's intentions are the most relevant aspect to take into account when judging whether and action is ethically rightful or not. Note that that is judging the moral of the action itself, and not giving a judgement on the person; people can have a million reasons to act selfishly, and in my very “humans are always inherently good” worldview more often than not it's caused by society rather than an actual preference to not be altruistic. But that doesn't change the fact that even a good action, if it isn't moved by good intentions, won't ever be passable of being morally right to me. Besides, then, wouldn't the other way round work to? Someone well intentioned, who's however incompetent, and ends up with their actions putting more bad in the world– as long as they're acting with a true desire to help others for the sake of it, their actions can't be considered morally wrong for me.

To clarify, with reference to your ask; I don't think people who do something for selfish reasons, and end up doing good, are morally rightful; but if they decide to do good, well, isn't that a well-intentioned aim itself? Then I think they stop being selfish to the extension that they consciously decide they're going to do good. That's not morally reprinandable at all.

Now, regarding Dazai... Honestly, I don't think Dazai is a good person. Because he never meant to do good for the sake of it. But now, the thing is, I don't think anyone in bsd is meant to be interpreted as good or evil– nobody, not Atsushi, not Mori, no one. When it comes to bsd– I do think bsd expresses a more or less nihilist worldview. And I know pretty much everyone else disagrees with me on this, I know, I'm sorry. But I do think there lies an undergoing message that good and bad are ultimately the same, and equally meaningless– it's there in Oda saying “Neither good nor evil mean much to you”, it's there in the way it makes you root for mafiosi like they were the good guys, it's there in the way Dazai never even considered to make amends for the bad things he's done (because they were never bad to begin with, because good and bad mean nothing anyway), it's there in the way it constantly shows good people doing bad and bad people doing good in a way that basically equalises them. To me there's really no point in discussing whether Dazai is good, because he is most evidently not, but that's only because he was never meant to be interpreted as such to begin with. Please refer to this post for further details; it's not surprising at all that Dazai switching over to the “good side” didn't come with a radical change of heart, and that he basically stayed the same, because how could he become good when that's no different than being evil, and those both mean nothing anyway?

And I know most people see bsd's core theme as finding a reason to live, and maybe it is, but even then I think that wouldn't be by denying its nihilism, but rather accepting it and finding a reason to live in spite of it: to me all of bsd really sums up in “that, at least, is a little more beautiful”.

#Average Tumblr user reading this post: Wow Op really doesn't get anything about bsd's message #I know it's an unpopular opinion. I'm sorry. Sometimes it happens and you're fully entitled to think my takes are terrible #osamu dazai #bsd #bsd analysis #mine #people asks me stuff #Peoples I know every time I am prompted to say something of this kind I get ten different asks elaborating on why I'm wrong‚#and I truly appreciate them– without irony‚ I do‚ I dearly cherish getting to see things from a different perspective!#I just haven't gotten around to answering them because. It's just that there's only this much hours in the day–#and although I'm sure it'd open for extremely interesting dialogues‚ there's other things I'd rather be doing than discussing over–#whether bsd as a story is good or bad– I never signed up to talk about anything that wasn't ss/kk to begin with anyways.#I hope you understand!!!!#If I ever was to finish my infinite list of planned posts you can be sure I'll get back to them asks #but in the meantime they're probably going to lie at the bottom of my inbox.#Still I do immensely appreciate people's kindness in attempting to make me see things from a different angle!!!

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radioactivepeasant · 2 years

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Fic Prompts: Free Day Thursday

This is another piece of my Sons of Spargus au that involves The Game We Don't Acknowledge. Because for all its faults, I did like the homage to the Edge Chronicles, and it did corroborate a theory about dark eco I had lol

The edge of the world was strangely peaceful at night. If Jak closed his eyes, the distant thunder of the myriad waterfalls almost sounded like the ocean. Funny that, past or present, home to him meant the sea. That knife's edge between refuge and danger, ever shifting, bringing both life and death. Much like the two mass forms of eco, as his father often had to remind him.

"Dark eco is unstable, aye, but evil?" Damas shook his head scornfully. "It has no mind of it's own. How can it have a morality? It is no more evil than the sea. Unpredictable, dangerous, but not evil."

"You don't have it stuck inside you," Jak had argued, "It didn't make you an eco freak!"

His father had looked both stern and somehow sad at that. "Did you know that long ago it was not unheard of for the House of Mar to have two heirs? It was so that one could study dark eco, and the other would study light. Both sides in balance, in accordance with our House's symbol."

When Jak had given him an incredulous look, he'd smirked. "No, it's not something we advertise anymore. It doesn't generally go over well in polite conversation, as I'm sure you guessed. But people weren't always so...paranoid about the darkness, you know. You may be the first of our line in generations to have mastered both eco in its primordial form and its harmonized form without the use of a prism."

And now they had a prism. Now he understood what Damas and the monks' ancient scrolls meant by "primordial" and "harmonized". Dark eco was no more than the unregulated mixture of all forms of eco at once. He could guess then that light eco must be the same components, but in equal measure to balance themselves out. The difference between coal and a diamond, perhaps?

Jak flexed his fingers slowly, watching a bright yellow spark dance from fingertip to fingertip. He had been so certain that what the Baron did was irreversible. And in a way, it was. The transformation would always be there, waiting, in his darkest moments. But eco wasn't a chain anymore.

For the first time in four years, eco responded to him the way it had during his childhood. It was wild, and exuberant, and full of limitless possibility. It made him feel...renewed. Free.

I wish Father could see this.

Jak leaned back against the rigging with a bittersweet smile.

He was a long way from home.

"Orb for your thoughts?"

Phobos strolled to the railing, flipping her folding knife across her knuckles. She glanced up at him, feigning disinterest. "You've been out here most of the night, kiddo. Worried about your friend? Don't be. Phoenix is liable to talk her ear off, but he won't hurt her."

Jak cracked a smile. "Nah. I'm not worried about Keira. I mean, I reserve the right to hold this stunt over her head the next time she yells at me for being reckless, but I'm not worried."

The captain raised an eyebrow and leaned on the railing beside him. "Then why the long face?"

Because I know who you are and you'll never believe who I am-

Because I'm finally exploring the ends of the earth like I always wanted, but I can’t enjoy it until the eco storms stop-

Because I worry that without access to light eco crystals, Father's old injuries will start hurting him again-

Unable to put his thoughts into the words he wanted, Jak only shrugged and turned to face the stars. "I miss home," he said simply.

Phobos studied him for an uncomfortably long couple of seconds. "Missing Damas too?" she asked shrewdly.

Perhaps he should have been more discreet about his family, but Jak didn't want to lie to her.

"...yeah. Never really got to know what it felt like to actually be a kid until he took me in. Which is messed up, because I was somewhere around seventeen-ish at the time."

"Rough start in life, huh?" Phobos asked.

Jak snorted bitterly. "That's putting it mildly."

The sky pirate digested this in silence. Then she pulled herself up to sit in the rigging beside Jak. "Damas teach you how to find the lighthouse?" she asked.

"Yeah." A self-conscious smile flitted across Jak's face. "Yeah, I know how to get around the desert."

It was one of the only memories from before Haven that Jak had gotten back: being taken into the desert and shown the beacon at the top of the palace. The "lighthouse" all Spargans used as a compass to navigate the Wastelands. The really experienced Wastelanders didn't even need goggles. They could just look to the horizon and judge time and distance by where the beacon showed beyond their fingertips.

"Hm." Phobos raised a hand out in front of her as though she could touch the sky. "You can find Spargus with the stars, too."

Jak craned his neck in an attempt to see which star his mother was looking at.

"How? Where is it?"

With a half smile, Phobos grasped Jak’s hand and raised it up. "Here, look for the green star. The one that's brighter than the others. That's Corvus. It's part of what we call the Polaris galaxy."

"The Polaris galaxy?" Jak repeated, a little breathlessly, "How many planets are in it?"

"Dunno." Phobos shrugged. "But someday we'll figure out how to get up there, like the Precursors. Heck, maybe there's life out there that doesn't want to eat us for lunch. Precursors had to come from somewhere, right?"

She pointed to another speck of light in the sky. "There. Remember that one?"

Jak perked up. "The North Star. You can't see this one from Spargus."

"Wrong hemisphere," Phobos agreed. "But, put your hand up so that your trigger finger looks like it's touching the North Star. Now splay out your fingers until your pinky touches Corvus."

Bemused, Jak did as he was told. Phobos tapped his middle finger over until it touched his ring finger and threw an arm around his shoulders.

"Now say you're at the helm. Instruments are dead, and you've got nothin' but the stars. As long as you can find the midpoint between North and Corvus, you can chart a course straight across to Spargus. That's your lighthouse."

Warmth filled Jak's chest, threatening to sting his eyes. Phobos didn't know he was her son. She probably thought it was weird that her ex had adopted a couple of teenagers out of nowhere. Maybe she even thought it was an attempt to cope with Mar's loss. But here she was all the same, teaching him to find a path to Spargus in the night sky, just because she knew he was homesick. It spoke well of her character, this random act of kindness.

"Thank you, Captain," he said, and meant it.

There was a softness in Phobos's eyes that Jak was beginning to recognize from Damas and Sig. It seemed a little soon for his unknowing mother to already be a little fond of him -- which Jak didn't really understand. He didn't think he was all that lovable. But...it turned out his birth mother was actually a pretty cool person, and one heck of a pilot. There were far worse things than an expert captain and racer thinking you were kind of neat.

"Get some rest, kiddo." Phobos thumped his arm and hopped down from the rigging. "We'll be catching up with the Phantom Blade before too long. You'll have to launch your plane. I don't fire on other sky pirates as a professional courtesy."

Jak took one last look at the stars, then dropped back to the deck. "Aye, Captain."

Phobos nodded approvingly. "We'll make a pirate of you yet."

The idea made Jak snort. "I don't think Damas would like that very much."

"I'll blackmail him to get summer custody, it's fine," Phobos joked.

At least, Jak thought she was joking.

#jak and daxter #jnd #jak and daxter au #fic prompts #writing prompts #free day thursday #we dont talk about tlf no no no #but I'd headcanoned that you could separate dark eco into components and the game did lean into that #so it can stay for now as worldbuilding fodder but its on thin ice #jak's mother #captain phobos: we still don't know if thats a first name or surname and she's still not telling #mother-son bonding #a la Jim and Silver in Treasure Planet #meanwhile Keira is finally realizing that she's just jumped aboard with essentially British Daxter and is questioning her taste in men #sons of Spargus au

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inkstaindusk · 1 year

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Knocking on doors does anyone wanna send me drabble prompts, it can just be a fandom and a word idc, I need some new enrichment in my habitat

#ive been writing the same fic all month #which dont get me wrong i love it SO much none of you even know #but it's all still 35k and counting in the span of like three weeks .#i'd like es or khr prompts but as always im open to whatever #chit chattery

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barbieb0y · 2 years

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guess who's questioning their attraction again that's right it's me baby bc life is a neverending cycle of pain amd confusion

#sometimes im like probably okay with the idea of a partner #and then im not and it's like #is it bc most of the people i know irl are a bunch of jackasses #or is it bc i actually lack any sort of attraction that would prompt me to desire a relationship #i was in a qpr for 6 months and it was like. okay i guess #but idk if it's bc i actually lacked attraction to my ex or bc i didnt put in the effort to do anything #or maybe it's bc we're long-distance #but if you asked me if there's a real person i'd genuinely like to be in a qpr with #i'd probably say...yes but actually no?#there's this person but like we aren't that close and i don't like them as much as i used to #but the thought of it is still nice #I DONT KNOW OKAY #i just know i cant fucking relate to allos #shut up safar #queerplatonic #qpr #qpp #aspec #aromantic #aro #aromanticism

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dameronalone · 1 year

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I think what the "write for yourself" crowd are missing out on is that I DO write for myself, and often. there's shit that's going to sit in documents forever and never be posted because it's for me. but since when did wanting to interact with people become a bad thing?

I used to get more prompts sent to me or even reblogs and interaction when I did post fanfiction on tumblr/ao3 and I promise you my writing was worse then than it is now so it can't be that. I DO write for myself but sometimes I want to share what I write or write what someone wants to read because it's fun and I like that!

but that's not enough these days. the only people who consistently get a lot of interaction are the "popular" blogs (and I'm not saying that's bad or anything because there are always going to be popular blogs) and if you aren't in with that crowd, good luck getting more than 30 notes

especially in the reader x fanfiction circles. it's horrible there, ESPECIALLY if you aren't writing for the popular character of the month. I don't know what changed but something did change significantly. if you aren't writing smut and if you aren't writing for the hottest character around the notes you're going to get are minimal. I posted a poe dameron x reader fic the other day that was dealing with canon stuff and it got like. two notes on tumblr, and a very small amount of kudos/hits on ao3. even the last smut reader fic with a fairly popular oscar osaac character I wrote didn't go far

its just really frustrating as a writer to try so often and get nothing. I reblog prompts and get nothing, I post fic and get nothing, I try to interact with the fandom and get nothing. I DO write for myself but sometimes I want to write for others. but not so much anymore

#ok to reblog I guess just don't be a dick or I'm blocking you #it's more of a vent post than anything #it's depressing as hell because I like writing for other people it gives me a goal it gives me #something to DO and something of a purpose #writing for my close friends is still good but it's not the same #when I ask for prompts or requests I'm doing it because I want to know what yall want #if I wanted to write for myself I would if I wanted to write for my friends I'd just ask them #since when was it a bad thing to want to write for others and get attention from it #like good god #it's like what is even the point of posting fic anywhere because no one will read it and if they do no one #cares enough to let you know they liked it anymore #if the fandom had been like this when I first started writing I never would have kept it up #the biggest reason I wrote so much was because the fandom was so supportive and interactive #it used to be FUN #five six seven years ago #it was GREAT #but all the fun has been sucked out and there's no point in posting something and coming back and finding that #it has 5 likes and 1 reblog and no comments #it's like thanks guys. feeling super appreciated #it just makes me want to stop posting or stop writing fanfictikn at all #not that anyone would notice apparently #negativity #fandom wank #fandom negativity #writing community

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windfighter · 2 years

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The Nono-virus

”Where’s Kouji?” was the first thing Takuya asked when he arrived at the classroom.

Kouichi glanced at the empty desk next to him and shrugged. Takuya sat down in his usual seat behind Kouji’s.

”Might be taking a mental health day.”

Takuya considered that and shook his head.

”He usually lets us know.”

”Only because he knows how obsessed you are with him. He’s probably sleeping, don’t worry.”

Kouichi returned to the book he was reading. Takuya glanced at Kouji’s desk before grabbing his own book in order to get some last minute studying in.

”I’m heading over there after school”, he decided out loud. ”Gonna make sure he’s fine.”

”If it’s a mental health day he wants to be alone.”

”I’m not planning on staying, just gonna pop in, say hi, give him his homework and leave again.”

Kouichi rolled his eyes and made a perfect exasperated Kouji-impression. Sometimes it was really clear that they were twins.

”Don’t complain to me when he doesn’t want to speak with you for a week.”

”I won’t”, Takuya said with a grin and finally turned to his book.

----------

Takuya rang the doorbell and waited. Wolf leaned against him for pets and Takuya obeyed. The door remained shut and Takuya rang the doorbell again. Wolf barked and scratched at the door. No one opened. Takuya pulled at the door handle and the door slid open. Wolf bolted through it and up the stairs while Takuya took a careful step inside.

”Kouji?”

He thought he heard something on the upper floor and took off his shoes before walking over to the stairs.

”I’m not here to disturb you”, he called out. ”Yell if you want me to leave.”

Wolf barked, but no one yelled. Takuya climbed the stairs, listening for any sounds on the upper floor.

”Can you take him outside again?”, a weak voice asked as he passed the bathroom.

Takuya stopped, peeked inside it. Kouji was sitting on the floor, leaned against the bathtub and his face pale. Wolf was trying to climb into his lap and Kouji held a hand on his head to stop him.

”Are you okay?” Takuya asked.

Kouji looked at Takuya, but didn’t quite manage his normal glare.

”Wolf”, he said, voice raspy and filled with pain. ”Out.”

”Okay, okay”, Takuya said and lifted his hands in a placating gesture. ”Wolf, come here.”

Wolf looked at him, but didn’t move. At least he stopped pressing into Kouji, whose face got slightly less tense. Takuya walked inside, grabbed Wolf’s collar and pulled at it. Wolf started moving and Takuya let him out into the yard again before returning to Kouji.

”This does not look like a mental health day”, he said and leaned against the door frame.

Kouji sent him another ineffective glare before lifting a hand to his mouth and grabbing the toilet with the other, leaning over it in the process. He retched, but nothing came up.

”That sounds disgusting.”

”You can leave.”

”When you’re looking like that? No way. You’ve been like this the whole day?”

Kouji shook his head before retching again.

”That might work better if you had something to throw up.”

”Why are you here?”

”To lift your spirits!”

Takuya grinned and Kouji shook his head before resting it against his arms on the toilet seat. He closed his eyes and Takuya took a step closer.

”Spirit’s fine”, Kouji said and his voice broke a little. ”Stomach’s not.”

”Is it the… uh….” Takuya tried to remember the name he had seen on his dad’s newspaper that morning. ”...no way-virus?”

Kouji opened an eye.

”What?”

”The… nono-virus?”

Kouji snorted, which clearly upset something in his stomach because his face got paler and he leaned over the toilet again. Nothing happened and he leaned against the tub instead after a minute.

”Can I help?” Takuya asked hesitantly.

”Doesn’t seem like it.”

Kouji closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around himself. Takuya shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

”Do your parents know?”

Kouji shook his head.

”They left early.”

”Did you call them?”

”I probably just ate something bad, no need to worry them.”

”Do you have a fever?”

”Takuya, please. Just let me die in peace.”

Takuya shifted his weight again. He knew Kouji was just being overdramatic but those were not a combination of words he wanted to hear. He let out a sigh and decided to let it slide.

”Wouldn’t that be more comfortable in your bed?”

Kouji groaned, then reached for the toilet. He didn’t move to it and let his arm fall down again.

”Why…”, he swallowed to get his voice to sound less broken, ”...are you here?”

”You weren’t in school, I got worried.”

Kouji didn’t answer and Takuya shifted his weight another time.

”Are you sure there’s nothing I can do?”

”Do you know how to care for a sick person?”

”uh…”

Kouji glanced at Takuya, then closed his eyes again.

”I’m just gonna sleep here until it passes. You don’t need to stay.”

”Let me at least help you to the bed.”

”I’m…”

Kouji didn’t finish the sentence. He leaned over the toilet as his body made another attempt at throwing up and failing at it. Kouji’s face scrunched up in pain and he coughed. He pulled a hand across his eyes and Takuya sank down next to him, put a hand on his forehead before helping him lean against the bathtub again.

”You feel hot. I could call someone who knows what to do?”

”Don’t call mom”, Kouji whispered and pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.

”I don’t even know her number”, Takuya laughed. ”I was thinking my mom.”

Kouji shook his head.

”No parents. I’m fine.”

Kouji neither looked nor sounded fine. Takuya pulled a hand across his face in exasperation.

”I’m getting you to bed at least.”

He pulled his feet under himself before wrapping an arm around Kouji’s back. Kouji made himself as heavy as possible to stop Takuya from pulling him up, but Takuya was stronger than Kouji even on his good days and it was easy to pull him to his feet. Kouji’s eyes widened.

”Out”, he hissed.

”Yeah, we’re going.”

”You, out. Now.”

Kouji pulled away from Takuya, only because Takuya hadn’t been expecting it. Takuya looked at Kouji. He didn’t look angry, just… stressed?

”Out”, Kouji hissed again and Takuya backed out from the bathroom.

The door slammed shut and locked the moment he got out and he stared at it.

”Do you want me to leave?”

He feared getting a yes for answer because he really didn’t want to just leave Kouji. The door answered with silence and he took that as an ’I don’t care’. Takuya grabbed the phone in his pocket and bit his lip before finding Kouichi’s number.

”Told you he’d be angry”, Kouichi answered the phone with.

”Do YOU know how to care for a sick person?” Takuya asked and sounded a lot more panicked than he had planned.

”...what?”

”Kouji has the No good-virus and I don’t know what to do.”

”The… the what now?”

”I don’t remember the name, the stomach-thing.”

”The Norovirus?” Kouichi laughed. ”Is that what you’re trying to say?”

”Yeah, probably.” Takuya let out a heavy sigh. ”He asked if I knew how to care for a sick person and I think I’ve only made it worse because he just threw me out and I honestly don’t know how to do that. Mom takes care of us when we’re sick.”

”Okay. And why do you think it’s the norovirus?”

”He keeps trying to vomit, but nothing’s coming up. Also I think the paper said it was time for it?”

”Not for another month or two”, Kouichi said and moved around on the other end. ”Is he drinking?”

”Not that I’ve seen?”

”Try getting him to drink, and maybe eat something. Does he have a fever?”

”How should I know?”

”They should have a thermometer somewhere.”

”...and I’m supposed to know how those work?”

”Wow, okay. Just try to get some water into him.”

Takuya knocked on the locked door.

”Kouichi says you should drink!”

Kouji retched on the other side of the door and it sounded like something came up this time because Takuya could have sworn he heard a quiet ’oh ew’ from Kouji.

”You okay in there?” Takuya asked.

Kouji didn’t answer. Takuya let out a sigh and focused on the phone again.

”I think he hates me.”

”At least he’s awake”, Kouichi answered and it sounded too much like a question. ”If it’s the norovirus you probably shouldn’t go home tonight.”

”What? Why? Is he gonna die?”

”No, it’s just spreads easily. Did you call dad or Satomi?”

”Kouji vetoed calling any kind of parents.”

”...so you called the mom-friend”, Kouichi laughed again. ”Tell him I’m vetoing his veto and am calling dad right this moment.”

”Kouichi’s calling your dad!” Takuya called through the door.

”No one’s calling dad”, Kouji called back, but his voice lacked its usual bite.

”He’s vetoing your veto of his veto”, Takuya told the phone and lost absolute track of what he was even saying. ”Veto no longer sounds like a word.”

”uhu”, Kouichi answered and Takuya could tell he was no longer listening. ”Try to get some water into him, I’ll talk to you in an hour.”

Kouichi ended the call and Takuya was left staring at the closed and locked door. He knocked at it.

”Everything alright?”

”Bleh”, Kouji’s voice answered.

Takuya waited another few minutes. The toilet flushed and the door unlocked and opened just a tiny bit and Kouji looked at Takuya through it.

”...can you get me a pyjamas?”

Kouji looked somehow even worse than he had before. Takuya nodded and disappeared to Kouji’s room, searching through the closet and drawers until he found something resembling a pyjamas. He handed them to Kouji and Kouji disappeared behind the door again, leaving the door slightly ajar but not opening it completely.

”Do you need help?”

”No…”

”I’m getting you a glass of water.”

He went downstairs, grabbed a glass in the kitchen and filled it with water before returning upstairs. He knocked on the door.

”Coming in~”

Kouji was lying on the floor, curled up with an arm under his head. Takuya held the glass against Kouji’s cheek.

”Drink up or else Kouichi’s calling your dad.”

Kouji didn’t move. Takuya put the glass on the floor and sat down.

”You’d be more comfortable in bed.”

”Probably”, Kouji admitted. ”’s fine.”

”I’ve never heard Anyone sound that sick”, Takuya said with a laugh. ”How’d you even get like this?”

”Ate something?” Kouji suggested and curled up further. ”cold.”

”Your bed is warmer.”

Kouji shook his head and pushed the glass away. Takuya pushed it closer to Kouji again.

”Kouichi says you have to drink. I dunno why.”

”You’re such a kid”, Kouji said and shivered. ”I’m not dehydrated.”

”Can you at least sit up again? I’m feeling really silly talking with you on the floor like this.��

”Why are you still here?”

”Kouichi told me to stay the night in case it’s the stomach virus thing.”

Kouji curled up a little more and his body shook with a short laugh.

”Say the name”, he requested.

”The nonsense-virus.”

Kouji laughed again, then pressed a hand to his mouth and wrapped the other around his stomach. Nothing happened.

”I’m gonna…” Kouji’s voice was frail and Takuya didn’t know what to do. ”...gonna sleep now. You don’t need to stay.”

”You sure you don’t want to move to the bed? I’ll even carry you.”

Kouji shook his head before putting his arm under it again. He closed his eyes and Takuya sat silently as Kouji fell asleep next to him. He let out a sigh, got to his feet and fetched a blanket from Kouji’s room. He put it over Kouji before sitting down by the door and waiting for Kouichi to call again.

-----------

The doorbell rang and Kouji blinked awake. Takuya got up, ran downstairs to open it before it rang a second time. Kouichi smiled awkwardly at him.

”Did you get him to drink or eat?”

Takuya shook his head and pulled a hand over his face.

”He fell asleep on the floor. I couldn’t even get him to bed.”

Kouichi let out a sigh and pressed himself past Takuya. He kicked off his shoes and disappeared up the stairs. Takuya closed the door and followed him.

”I know, but you’re already dehydrated”, Kouichi said, obviously trying to get Kouji to drink.

Takuya stopped in the doorway and watched the twins. Kouji shook his head and turned his back towards Kouichi, who just grabbed his shoulder and rolled Kouji over to his back instead.

”You have to go to the hospital if you can’t keep fluids down.”

”Big brothers knows best”, Takuya said and grinned towards Kouji.

Kouji looked at him and raised an eyebrow and Takuya’s grin got wider. Kouichi sighed again.

”Can you get the thermometer? It should be in the medicine cabinet in the closet in the hallway.”

”Usually they’re in the bathroom”, Takuya said. ”I’ll get it.”

He left again. The medicine cabinet was easy enough to find and the thermometer was in it, just as Kouichi said. He also grabbed a fresh glass of water and a package of crackers from the kitchen before heading upstairs again.

”Supply-delivery”, he said as he entered the bathroom again.

Kouji was sitting up at least, leaned against the bathtub. He was still pale, a slight flush over his cheeks. Takuya handed Kouichi the supplies and Kouichi put the thermometer in Kouji’s mouth.

”Have you been washing your hands?” he asked Takuya and Takuya shook his head. ”You should, if it’s the norovirus…”

”Don’t teach him the name”, Kouji mumbled.

Kouichi rolled his eyes and ignored Kouji.

”Washing your hands is the best way to not spread it.”

Takuya nodded and washed his hands. Kouji closed his eyes and leaned his head back.

”How do you even know all this stuff?” Takuya asked.

”Mom’s a nurse, I’ve picked up a thing or five from her”, Kouichi answered.

”Mom’s the same”, Kouji said despite the thermometer, ”but I learned from books instead.”

”No talking while taking the temperature”, Kouichi scolded and Kouji closed his mouth.

Takuya sat down on the edge of the bathtub and they waited in silence. The thermometer beeped and Kouichi grabbed it.

”38.9”, he read out loud.

”Sounds about right”, Kouji said.

His voice was still raspy and Takuya put a hand on his shoulder.

”My offer to carry you to bed still stands.”

Kouji shook his head and Kouichi held the fresh glass of water infront of him.

”Take a sip or I’m calling dad.”

Kouji reluctantly took a sip and Kouichi put the glass on the sink before washing his hands. He sat down on the floor and leaned against the wall.

”Was it this bad the whole day?”

”Worse”, Kouji said and rubbed his eyes. ”This is the best I’ve felt the whole day.”

”Your voice is terrible though”, Takuya said with a laugh.

”Sleep won’t help that”, Kouji complained.

He slid sideways, rested his head against Takuya’s leg. Takuya ruffled Kouji’s hair.

”Still tired?” he asked and Kouji nodded. ”Bed’s more comfy than my leg, I promise.”

”M...maybe?”

”We’ll wait a few minutes”, Kouichi suggested. ”Give you time to see if you’ll throw up.”

Kouji didn’t. He got to his feet after the few minutes were up, his body trembled and he looked so utterly unstable that Takuya swooped him up. Kouji’s face got pale again and he buried it in Takuya’s shoulder. Kouichi got up from the floor as well, washed his hands and grabbed his backpack before following Takuya to the bedroom. Takuya put Kouji on the bed and wrapped the cover around him and Kouichi put a trash can next to the bed if Kouji needed to throw up after all.

”Do you want us to leave?” Kouichi asked.

”I’m fine”, Kouji mumbled, already half asleep. ”’s not the nono-virus.”

Takuya grinned and Kouichi glared at him.

”Are you sure?”

”...90% maybe? I’m gonna sleep now.”

”You do that”, Kouichi said.

He squeezed Kouji’s shoulder before gesturing towards the door. Takuya went outside and Kouichi follwed him, closed the door behind them.

”If he says 90% sure, it’s probably not”, he said. ”You don’t need to stay, but… try to stay away from your family tonight, just to be on the safe side.”

Takuya’s eyes widened.

”I forgot to tell mom I was here! I’m gonna get grounded so hard.”

Kouichi laughed.

”Better to head home directly then. I’m sure she’ll understand if you explain.”

”Are you staying?”

”At least until dad or Satomi comes home, then I’ll see what Kouji wants. Thanks for taking care of him.”

”I didn’t do much”, Takuya admitted and Kouichi shrugged.

”You did what you could.”

Kouichi pulled a hand through his hair. They both knew Kouji could be absolutely impossible to deal with when he was sick, so maybe sitting next to him was all Takuya could have done even if he knew more about what was going on. Takuya nodded.

”Aight, I’ll head home. See you in school tomorrow?”

Kouji let out a whimper in the bedroom, and Kouichi scratched the back of his neck.

”Probably. I better head back there to see what’s wrong. See you.”

Kouichi disappeared through the bedroom door again and Takuya pulled his hands over his face with a sigh. Today had not turned out how he had planned for it. He went back downstairs, put on his shoes and grabbed his backpack before heading outside again. Wolf ran up to him and and demanded pets again, and Takuya obeyed.

”You take care of him now, okay?” he said and patted Wolf’s head. ”He’s gonna need a lot of cuddles tomorrow.”

Wolf barked and Takuya waved goodbye and headed home.

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