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warehouseorphandanvers · 2 years

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I hope this man shits himself to death and dies in poverty and disgrace. The entire interview is fucking disgusting. I have never seen a man with such disdain for the subject of something they’ve made. Who the fuck let this man near this thing. Every word out of his mouth is an insult to not only her memory but to women in general. What the fuck what the actual fuck. This is so fucking gross.

Just some choice outtakes from one of the worst interviews I’ve ever seen. Bless this woman for being able to sit there and be professional I fucking couldn’t.

#marilyn monroe #fuck blonde #andrew dominik #should fucking die in a fire #rip you fucking waste of air and time #tell me you should never be left alone with a woman without telling me #I’d say tell me you have no respect for women without telling me but he basically said it right here #I wish you a terrible horrid life and an even worse death #rott in hell #suicide mention #mysogyny

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melaclintbartoncorner · 3 months

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People who create AI porn pictures of Actresses and Actors, well real people in general, are the biggest scum of the earth. I wish you the worst and some big misery in your whole life.

#ai generated #ai image #you are the problem #i despise you #rott in hell #real people are not your puppets #i wish karma on you #sunday vent

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thoughtsbeewild · 8 months

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Karma is real- Evil queen director has been removed from her evil throne

Alot of former leaders supervisors, managers , employees who this director all the power/title to fire them. Manipulated lies of documentation to help her supervisor best friend and employees.

Will they do an investigation on her? How corrupt she was? How she was smiling taking shameless selfies on getting tenure long time leaders, employees to resign to help her fucking friends. If your director, your job is to make the company successful not HELP GET BONUS TO HIRE YOUR FRIENDS, GET INTEL ON EACH DEPARTMENT TO DEEM WHO YOU CAN FUCKING FIRE AND GET RID OF, SINCE THEY DID NOT KISS YOUR ASS OR HAVE FEAR TO QUESTION YOUR TERRIBLE HORRIBLE LEADERSHIP. TO PROTECT YOUR EMPLOYEE FRIENDS WHO HAVE BEEN DOING A SHITY JOB THATS WHY THE COMPANY IS AT A LOW PERCENT BECAUSE OF YOUR SELFISH CORRUPT HATEFUL LEADERSHIP, THAT NOT ONE TENURE MANAGER, OR GOOD SUPERVISORS LEADERS OR GOOD EMPLOYEES WANTED TO HELP THIS FEMALE DIRECTOR BITCH BE SUCCESSFUL. WE ALL WANT SEE THAT BITCH FALL FIRED. THATS HOW RUTHLESS EVIL OF A SELFIE MOM DIRECTOR BITCH SHE WAS. SHE WOULD POST EMOJI LAUGH HEART ON FACEBOOK BECAUSE SHE HAD TITLE/POWER TO DESTROY YOUR HARD WORK, LIFE OF LIVING FOR MANY FUCKING PEOPLE. SO HEARTLESS DIVORCED BITCH , HOPE THIS GIVES YOU THE SLAP IN THE FUCKING FACE YOU NEED. HOPE YOUR LITTLE FUCKING SUPERVISOR BEST FRIEND AND EMPLOYEE BEST FRIENDS REVEAL WITH HIGH EXECUTIVE LEADERSHIP COMPANY HOW YOU DAMAGED THE COMPANY WITH YOUR HATEFUL DECISIONS TO REMOVE GOOD PEOPLE SO YOUR FRIENDS BE THERE.

#FIRE DIRECTOR FRIEND SUPERVISOR #FIRE THE DIRECTOR FRIENDS EMPLOYEES AND THIER FRIENDS #KARMA #PRAYING FOR KARMA #THESE BITCHES SHUT THE FUCK UP #EVIL BITCHES STOP SMILING #GO TO HELL #ROTT IN HELL #YOUR THE WORST HUMAN BEING EVER

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speaknowtaylor · 7 months

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Taylor Swift: in the middle of rerecording her albums to reclaim her art and have the power to decide what happens to it and what not, spreading awareness about how important it is to support art and the artist behind the art

Her fans: look at this amazing AI of Taylor Swift

#rott in hell ai

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dreamcrow · 1 year

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@falling-hand-in-unlovable-hand + @babblish, from (this fic author meta meme)

here's the thing tho: you're both right.

wizards introduced a trio of the tightest, coolest antagonist concepts in the entire toa franchise. it then proceeded to run them directly into the ground through a combination of 1.) rushed writing (wizards) and 2.) bad writing (rott). it's late and i'm not particularly interested in beating this crumbling horse skeleton for the nth time in public, but i'm on my soapbox and the editor has already eaten one version of this post.

the order should be scary. these are the things merlin is afraid of, or at least that he doesn't want to tangle with head-on. they made morgana. but that means nari is scary, too. which is borne out! in her very first appearance, she's the one merlin (!) turns to for help; she's the one who boosts camelot, singlehandedly, to stand against bellroc and skrael. her second appearance introduces her as a necromancer, one, again, powerful enough to accomplish (as if in play) what bellroc and skrael cannot, even working together. she also straight up kills humans at killahead, handily, and never once uses magic to do it. most importantly: her dialogue consistently places her as "one of the order," even if she's currently apart from the other two.

but wizards fails to take its own premises seriously. nari should be terrifying; but the narrative presents her as charming, sweet, having done terrible things but ultimately "heroic," concerned with setting things right. but by her own definition, she's still one third of the arcane order. gdt's entire brand is monster apology. more importantly, we have MULTIPLE on-screen attempts to reach out to "villains" in both trollhunters and 3 below. jim tries to make a connection with fucking bular, of all people! so what's stopping us from extending the same gracious assessment to bellroc and skrael?

"uh, they can't be three-dimensional, they're the bad guys."

a lazy, flimsy justification. and one that doesn't hold up if you've watched even one (1) season of the previous franchise installments.

#trollhunters #toa wizards #arcane order #nari of the eternal forest #skrael of the north wind #i also am deliriously tired so i completely forgot to mention here that. y'know. yeah skrael actually definitely shows affection #tldr #wizards forgot the entire point of trollhunters #namely: what makes a hero was never 'killing the monster.'#judge jim in rott—hell. even in wizards—and you will NOT find the flawed but sympathetic protagonist of trollhunters #which i say not to be like 'jim bad' but 'maybe we should let the baddies be more than cardboard evil cutouts...?'#radical concept.#mine

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that-gt-and-vore-stuffs · 1 year

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The turtles nomming Casey to comfort him, kid's been thru a lot

I HAVE TYPED THIS OUT THREE TIMES NOW TUMBLR SO HELP ME GOD-

Yes yes yes Anon I love how you think. I can totally see L/eo being the first one to offer, once he’s healed and all. So maybe he’s gained a soft spot for the kid. Sue him. From there it doesn’t take his brothers long at all to hop on the wagon, so to speak. Boom, 4 comfy sleeping bags for the boy

Poor poor Cas/ey, he’s just enjoying every moment he gets. You have to when it’s the only semblance of normal you have left. Definitely helps him handle the whole “my universe and family are gone forever” he’s dealing with. Someone hug this kid please

#soft vore #safe vore #j rambles #rott/mnt #CAS/EY JR MY BELOVED #SOMEONE GIVE THIS BOY A HUG OR EXTREME CUDDLES NOW #also I do believe he’d make one hell of a Pred #having grown up in the apocalypse as the son of Cassa/ndra Jon/es and all #because you can’t tell me she isn’t one hell of a pred herself #look at her

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thoughtsbeewild · 8 months

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BEST NEWS EVER: UPDATE LEAVE OF ABSENCE SELFIE MOM DIRECTOR IS FIRED! JUSTICE HAS BEEN SERVED YESSS! NOW FIRE HER FRIEND THE SUPERVISOR...

KARMA DOES WORK IN WAYS WE DONT EXPECT.

TIME AND PATIENCE , KARMA WILL FLY THERE WAY..

THIRSTY DIRECTOR MOM POSTING SHAMELESS SELFIES GETS WHAT SHE DESERVES.

NOW THE QUEEN EVIL BITCH HAS BEEN KNOCKED OUT OF CHESS. YOU KNOW LIKE HOUSE OF CARDS.

I HOPE MY FORMER COMPANY CONTINUES TO MOVE IN DIRECTION TO FIRE HER FUCKING FRIEND THE SUPERVISOR. SHE IS A REAL TWO FACE BITCH. I WOULD LOVE TO SPILL THE TEA ON HER NAME, NOT GOING GO THERE. BECAUSE KARMA WILL CONTINUE FUCK THAT BITCH UP , LIKE HOW SHE TRIES TO RUIN ALOT LEADERS AND EMPLOYEES EMPLOYMENT CAREER.

NOW FIRE THE SUPERVISOR AND HER FUCKING EMPLOYEES SHE PROTECTED IN HER EVIL WAYS. THESE SUPERVISOR AND EMPLOYEES GOT AWAY WITH MURDER, LIKE THEY WERE ABLE GET DOCTORS NOTES. COME IN AT 4AM TO WHEN THEY PLEASE, THEY GOT TO BULLSHIT AT 7AM TO PULL THE FUCKING WEEDS, GO ON PLAY DATES WITH THERE DAUGHTER WHILES OTHER EMPLOYEES WERE FORBIDDEN TO DO THAT SHIT. WE COULDNT COME IN EARLY, WE HAD HELP CLEAN UP THIER FUCKING WORK AND JOB, WHILE THEY TOOK THE MOTHERFUCKING CREDIT .

I WAS TELLING A OLD COWORKER OF MINE TODAY, THESE ARE EVIL PIECE OF SHIT PEOPLE. THEY ACT LIKE A SWEET INNOCENT BULLSHIT BABY TO YOU ON OUTSIDE TO YOUR FACE, BUT ON INSIDE WOW THEY GET AWAY WITH ALOT OF SHIT. WHEN I SPOKE UP TO DIRECTOR AND SUPERVISOR ABOUT IT, THEY PROTECTED THESE FUCKING BITCHES AS IF THEY WERE WORTH KEEPING IN THE COMPANY. KARMA IS GOING COME FOR TWO J, J, S, S.

#FIRE THE SUPERVISOR #FIRE HER EMPLOYEE FRIENDS #KEEP KARMA COMING #EVIL BITCHES DESERVE TO ROTT IN HELL

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sweetsinnerangel · 2 years

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= •𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐔𝐍𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐇 𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄

Hate fucking, rival!reader, former archon!reader, eating out, exhibitionism.

Both of you morax always been a rivaly on each other almost like cat and dog when they met. Randomly fighting with each other almost destory the nation at the point others archons have to stop both of your 'pointless' battle. He still remembers it, the way you attack him out of nowhere everytime you sees him and him can sense you from afar.

"One day, we will find eachother and I make sure I will fucking end you like in a last rott pit of hell."

yup. He still remembers it. Hows the table turns? You didnt expect to reunion with him all of sudden and now...your back is now lying on the ground in the forest where anyone past by could hear you with him spreading apart your thighs with his hands licking you off with his dragon tougue around nub clit.

"𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊 𝐈 𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐄𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐋𝐘 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐎𝐔𝐑 '𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐄' 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍 𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐄 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐄𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐋𝐘?" he said while his golden brown colored eyes glaring at you with full of twisted of lust. "Well, look at the God who is crying over some pathetic promise-GAH!" his actions cutting you off as he starts to pushing his tongue deeper inside you.

You raise your hips to make his tongue goes deeper inside gripping his brown tipsy golden hair tight closing his head with your thighs. He grab both of them separate them even further and lift them up your chest "𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐀𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔. 𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒𝐍𝐓 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄, 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐀 𝐁𝐈𝐆 𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊 𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐃 𝐒𝐋𝐔𝐓 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐒 𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐃𝐈𝐃𝐍𝐓 𝐅𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐘 𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐘 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐄" his eyes are glaring at you and you glare at him back.

You about to kick him but he manage to to grab your ankle and grip them continue to sucking your pussy harshly you didnt realises a drop of the exhausting tear fall from your eyes your mind is nothing besides then thinking his tongue only. He finally let go his tongue with full of your wet drips "𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋, 𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋, 𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋. 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓...𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐖𝐀𝐘, 𝐈 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐒𝐓". He flip your back and your chest is now pressing the ground he didnt even warns you and harshly enters three fingers inside of you pulling your hair as he whisper towards your ears with his gentle voice.

"𝐈 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐈𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐌𝐄".

#angel_.'s 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 #yandere genshin impact #genshin impact smut #genshin impact x reader #morax x reader #morax #morax smut #yandere morax #yandere zhongli #zhongli smut #zhongli x reader #yandere zhongli x reader #zhongli x reader smut #oneshot #smut

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scaranation · 1 year

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I saw that requests were still open and I crawled back from the firey pits of hell to offer you Scaramouche brain rott along with a personal AU that hit me like a foking brick like two days ago.

So first off. Imagine if you will. That Mr. McGrump wasn't actually just one entity but actually a trio of twin brothers that wandered around Teyvat known as the "the trio of eccentrics". They despise each other (cuz of course they do) but decide to travel together cuz no matter how hard they try to NOT bump into each other, the world is just so big for a trio of dumbasses that are chaotic on their own right.

They cannot get along to save their lives. The amount of times Scaramouche and Wanderer have gotten smacked on the face with Kabukimono's smithing hammer are just too many to count. Not to mention that as feeble as he appears to be he has a scarily good aim much to his brother's previous dismay as they have been greeted with a flying hammer to the back of the head multiple times when they have run into each other "by chance" before.

People tend just get confused when one of them randomly spawns on a town and seemingly sprout two other clones like some kind of mitosis type shit until they realize it's just a trio of siblings.

I also low-key feel y/n would accidentally bump and help all of them separatedly by chance only for them to all either think of them fondly or straight up have a little crush on them. I can just see Kabuki rambling to wanderer how some sweet person saved him from a hoard of electro slimes only for him to remember how someone offered to invite him to some food in one of his travels similar to the one his brother mentioned. Only for Scara to interrupt demanding if they were talking about this one very specific person that offered him shelter that one time he was injured after some misión or something. Cue y/n casually walking by and all of them losing their collective shit cuz HOLY SHIT THAT'S THEM- WAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU KNOW THEM TOO????? And thus the quest of winning over the kind stranger begins.

Idk if this was even mildly entertaining but this idea has been eating my brain for days and needed to spew it somewhere. Love your work! ✨✨✨

OMLL HOWW YOUR BRAINROTS ARE SO GOOD I CANT 😭😭 this took me a while to write but i had to get everything out to even do this idea some justice it’s got me giggling fr

༊*·˚ 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐁𝐋𝐄

ft. Scaramouche, Kabukimono, Wanderer

Content: fluff, crack (but treated seriously)

a/n - innocent Kabukimono just lives rent free in my heart omlll like just imagine a less traumatised Scara <33

The trio of short haired, violet-eyed wanderers (also known as “the trio of eccentrics” by the local children) were a common sight in Teyvat. Prior to the revelation that they were, in fact, siblings, people had believed that they were either a teleporting ghost or some human aphid with miraculous cloning abilities. That was until someone saw two of the them in the same room, and connected the dots.

Scaramouche, the Wanderer, and Kabukimono were inseparable - not of their own will, of course. On their erratic, impulsive routes across Sumeru, they’d somehow cross paths more often than they wanted. In fact, they’d made an effort to avoid each other. The Wanderer had retreated all the way to the Hypostyle Desert, cackling at his own genius. Unfortunately, he also found Scaramouche and Kabukimono at the desert too - both dumbfounded at the ridiculous situation. Somehow, all three of them had simultaneously decided that hiding in the desert to not see each other was a great idea.

“What are you doing here?” the Wanderer had blurted.

“No, what are you doing here? I had this idea yesterday!” Kabukimono cried.

“Both of you, get out of my sight. I hatched this plan two weeks ago.” Scaramouche grumbled.

“Oh, how diabolical and calculating you are,” the Wanderer rolled his eyes, as though he wasn’t just praising himself for what he thought was the most intelligent idea to ever exist.

“Fine, I’ll leave first.” Kabukimono sighed. Perhaps it was because he was the youngest, but he was always ended up giving in to his brothers.

“Pushover,” the Wanderer smirked.

“Says the unemployed one,” Scaramouche scoffed.

“At least I have a vision.”

“Shut up.”

The many other times the trio convened by accident, two of them weren’t even conscious to fully process their irritation. The moment Kabukimono spotted Scaramouche or the Wanderer at his favourite resting place, he’d let loose his hammer - striking them on the back of the head with scary aim. He’d congratulate himself if he managed to score a concussion, too. It wasn’t as though the others didn’t defend themselves equally vigorously. If they couldn’t settle things with words, the brothers would just break out into fighting.

Things were especially bad when the Wanderer got ahold of Kabukimono’s hammer. Upon wrestling it out of the blacksmith’s grip, the Wanderer would flit into the air, gleefully holding the hammer out of reach until Scaramouche had enough and struck him down with a bolt of lightning.

“You look like a fly when you do that, you know?”

“You’re just jealous.”

Somehow, you were always at the centre of the trio’s unpredictable paths of destruction across Teyvat. You never really guessed at the connection between them, only dismissing it as a mere coincidence that you’d developed a fondness for three purple haired, short-tempered travellers.

As an adventurer, you’d first met Kabukimono on one of your errands.

“Stay away!”

You heard the clanging of something heavy on your inspection in Guyun, turning around to locate the source of the voice.

You followed the commotion around past the domain you’d just exited from, finding a crevice tucked away into a small beach-like area. Clumps of electro crystals clung to the stone walls of the cove, the lapping of the waves only perpetuating the intense elemental reactions. At the centre of it all was a strangely dressed man, being attacked by a hoard of electro slimes. He flailed around with a blacksmith’s hammer, presumably caught in his own attempt to mine valuable ores for a project.

His clothes looked to be of Inazuman attire, too - what was an Inazuman doing, looking for electro crystals all the way out in Liyue?

“Do you need help?” You crouched down, a little hesitant over whether or not it was obligatory for you to jump into the electro-charged mess.

“It… certainly looks like it, doesn’t it?” The man flashed you a defeated smile. Luckily, as a pyro vision holder, it wasn’t too difficult for you to deal with the slimes. With a brief flash of your vision, you also mined the ores for the stranger as well.

“Ah! So they require elemental triggers to be mined. No wonder it was taking me so long. Thank you, by the way - I’m Kabukimono.” The stranger extended a hand. You took it, but he didn’t shake it. The two of you stood there awkwardly for a moment, before he released your hand.

“Ah, sorry… That’s what I see people at the workshop do when they meet someone new. Is it strange?”

“No, of course not! You usually shake the hand after holding it, though.” You quipped helpfully.

“Oh.” A flush spread across his cheeks. He thanked you vehemently once again, insisting on offering you some spare iron in exchange for your help.

“Travel safe!” You called after Kabukimono, as he hurried off. He was a little strange, but his awkwardness was rather endearing. You smiled and shook your head, before resuming work and thinking nothing more of the entire ordeal.

Unlike Kabukimono, the second of the trio you met was a lot more irritable. You met the Wanderer at some food stalls in Sumeru city, almost mistaking him for the acquaintance you’d met in Guyun - only to be quickly corrected by his vastly different attitude.

“Watch it.” The stranger that looked suspiciously like Kabukimono (but with a remarkably more hostile, pointed gaze) shoved past you.

“These lavender melons. How much do they cost?” Not-Kabukimono asked the vendor, tapping his foot impatiently.

“Uh, 200 mora-”

“What? Who sells trash like this so expensively? Forget it, I didn’t want them anyway.” The Wanderer scoffed, turning to leave before you quickly grabbed him.

“If you’re hungry, you can eat at my place. I have some leftovers,” you offered. He narrowed his eyes at you suspiciously.

“Why are you helping me? Is this a poisoning attempt?”

“No… You just remind me of an acquaintance of mine, so I thought I’d look out for you.”

“Pfft, I don’t need your baseless concern.”

At that moment, the man’s stomach grumbled. The two of you made eye contact, before reaching a silent agreement.

“My house is that way,” you pointed, as the stranger begrudgingly followed you.

Even if he didn’t say so, the stranger most definitely enjoyed your cooking. After introducing himself as the Wanderer, he was quick to open up - always stopping by to visit (claiming that you were a convenient dining place for his travels).

Whenever he stopped by, you’d laugh and cook him a warm meal - it almost felt like home to him, or at least what he thought a home was. He never really had one, nor did he care for the notion, but this arrangement was quite pleasant for him. If the Wanderer was in a good mood, he’d even share some of his travelling stories with you. He’d boast about the enemies he defeated in the wilderness, complain about the stupidity of mortals, before giving you the rare piece of acknowledgement (“you know, your cooking is edible,” or “it’s definitely not poisoned,” etc.).

You quickly grew to anticipate his sporadic visits, getting an understanding of what kind of food he preferred. You weren’t sad when he didn’t arrive, and the two of you thrived off a mutual relationship. The Wanderer was surely different from your other companion, but that didn’t make him any less welcome.

Lastly, you’d met Scaramouche on an ominous rainy day. Or, rather, he’d been deposited on your doorstep.

“I don’t remember ordering a parcel…” You peered out into your doorway, squinting through the lashing rain - before realising that this ‘parcel’ was very much human-shaped.

With a surprised gasp, you dragged the figure inside as carefully as you could, wincing at the blood mixed with rainwater that swirled across his smooth skin. Peeling back the heavy layers of his outer coat, you took off the man’s hat to gape again in shock.

“Kabukimono?” You spluttered.

“Who are you calling Kabukimono?” The stranger snapped, sitting up slowly.

“Wanderer?” You tried again, guessing based on the man’s furious expression.

“Hah, you dare to…”

Before the stranger (that was neither Kabukimono nor the Wanderer) could finish his sentence, he passed out again in a haze of dizzying unconsciousness.

The man’s deep indigo eyes fluttered open a while later to the sight of you tending his wounds. He immediately flinched away, looking at you incredulously.

“Who are you? Why am I here?”

“You quite literally passed out on my porch, then again in my house. Don’t you remember?” You quirked an eyebrow.

“You dare gaslight a Fatui Harbinger? Try as hard as you want, but I won’t be giving you financial compensation for this.”

“You’re… a Harbinger…?” You frowned. He sure acted and looked a lot like the Wanderer - perhaps he’d hit his head a little too hard.

“Yes, Scaramouche. I’m better known as the Balladeer, of course.”

“I’ve never heard of you.”

“Well, then that just means we’re doing a great job of maintaining confidentiality.” Scaramouche huffed, allowing you to continue wrapping bandages around the deep gashes on his body. You chuckled at his demeanour.

“I’m not expecting anything in return for this.” You offered, leaning back to scrutinise your medical work. Years of adventuring had given you experience in this sort of thing, but your expertise was still lacking.

“Then why? Don’t tell me, you believe in kindness?”

“Anyone would do this if they found a stranger half-dead at their door in the pouring rain.” You rolled your eyes.

“I was not half-dead, and I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.” Scaramouche huffed, and you almost gawked at how similar he was to the Wanderer.

“Um, do you happen to know anyone named… Uh…” You hesitated under your new acquaintance’s fierce gaze.

“Named what? Do I look like an Akasha terminal to you?”

“Never mind.” You quickly shut your mouth. Perhaps it was just a coincidence.

It took a few months before the trio finally figured out they had a mutual connection. They’d all visited you countless times, and yet were lucky enough not to encounter each other - that was, until they finally began talking about their latest travel experiences upon having a chance meeting in Sumeru.

“Hm, perhaps this is what mortals call… comradeship…” Kabukimono mused to his brothers one day.

“Feeling a little amicable, Kabukimono?” Scaramouche sneered. He eyed the glimmering purple blade Kabukimono flipped over in his hands.

“There was this adventurer who saved me from some electro slimes once. It was because of them that I could fashion this dagger… Humans really are compassionate.” Kabukimono mused. He happily smiled to himself at the reminder of you.

“You’re so naive, brother. After all, mortals are only driven by fair exchange. Nobody would help without expecting it return - ah, there is one exception. There was this person I met who offered me food. I’ve been having free meals with them for months, and they don’t even know how I’m taking advantage of them! How immature they are, selflessly acting like that. It almost makes me concerned for their well-being,” the Wanderer chuckled.

“I don’t think you’re taking advantage of them if you’re… just accepting the free meals they give you. It almost seems they have you wrapped around their finger.” Scaramouche snickered.

“You wouldn’t understand the idea of a mutually beneficial relationship. In fact, have you even talked to a living being other than your colleagues in the last week?”

“Yes, you, and a certain traveller who took me in after I was injured in a mission-”

“You got injured? How pathetic.”

“It was a calculated risk. Anyway, they gave me shelter and treated all my wounds without asking for mora once. And they even let me stay over long after I’d healed, too. Mortals are so foolish, to be blindly trusting. I could’ve snapped their throat in a second.”

The three brothers agreed on the extremely rare and (questionably naive) selflessness of humans.

Then, a beat of silence passed before a revelation dawned on them.

“Isn’t it weird that we’ve all met a strange, helpful adventurer?” Kabukimono murmured.

“Exactly what I was thinking. Surely not all humans are like this.” Scaramouche nodded.

“Maybe foolishness is more common than we thought…?” The Wanderer suggested, but an uneasy feeling was dawning on him as he began to connect the dots.

“Say, does the traveller you two met live near the Grand Bazaar?” Scaramouche prodded.

“Yes.” Kabukimono and the Wanderer responded simultaneously.

“And they have an adventurer’s bandana? With a Mondstadtian clock in the front room of their house?”

“Yes- YOU TWO KNOW THEM AS WELL?” Kabukimono spluttered.

The Wanderer only heaved a large sigh. He was so close to showing off that he had a new friend, only to realise that the new friend was also acquainted with both his brothers.

“How bothersome, it seems you’re already close with them.” Scaramouche raised an eyebrow.

“Of course I am! I met them first, after all.” Kabukimono insisted.

“Both of you, be quiet. I’m going to their place now.” The Wanderer pushed back his chair.

“Hey! I was planning to visit them too!”

The scraping of chairs resounded as the remaining two brothers hurriedly rushed to get to your house.

Any other person would probably pass out from fear at seeing all three of the notorious trio appear at their door. You, however, only shot them a bemused look and ushered them in.

Once the three realised they had competition, Scaramouche, the Wanderer, and Kabukimono would be unrelenting in competing for your attention.

It was quite comical at times - you’d barely have to say anything and one of them would appear, diligently doing tasks for you and looking back at you eagerly for praise. It seemed almost strange to consider that these three had been marvelling at your profound naiveness only a few days ago, and were now basically at your beck and call.

Scaramouche would definitely be the most demanding. Whether it was a hand on your elbow or a risky grip on your wrist, he made sure you were close to him and sought your undivided attention. He’d recklessly snap out searing insults at anyone else, before getting ahold of himself and stating that he was merely defending a poor, foolish soul from being taken advantage of by some calculating purple-haired villain. Not him though, he’d never do anything like that.

The Wanderer (like his name) was more relaxed - he could go without your eyes on him at all times, and he’d drift in and out as he pleased. However, he did see himself as being entitled to your energy whenever he did happen to stop by. Occasionally, he’d even offer to take you on a scenic flight across Teyvat. After you’d tried it once, you were quick to refuse his latter offers - zooming across rooftops at breakneck speed was not your forte. The Wanderer huffed at your reluctance and accused you of denying his altruistic favour, but made an effort to do things you liked regardless.

Kabukimono was fiercely shy. He’d always bring you trinkets - small mechanisms or self-defends tools he’d fashioned from spare parts during his work as a blacksmith. He’d press them into your hands self-consciously, unable to bite back a smile when you praised his handiwork. He wouldn’t hesitate to stand up against his much fiercer brothers if it was for you, holding you in a tight embrace whenever you’d let him.

And so, as it happened, it seemed as though “the eccentric trio” simply couldn’t escape each other. As if by some ill-humoured joke, they all ended up liking the same person. The only issue was, being that person, you now had to deal with all three of them at once.

As if one wasn’t enough, you now had triple the trouble.

༊*·˚

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