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riality-check · 10 months

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More roadie shenanigans, keeping feedback from this post in mind! part 1, part 2

ao3

It’s before the second show, and they’re already fighting.

“You can’t chicken out,” Gareth says.

“I’m not gonna chicken out!”

“Good, because I’ll tell Wayne if you do,” Jeff says.

Eddie glares at him. “You’re an asshole.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“Shut up and get out of here!” Archie says, pushing Eddie toward the tech booth. He complies, but not without another scathing look over his shoulder.

His friends laugh because of course they do. They’re assholes, but, luckily, they’re the same kind of asshole that Eddie is.

He straightens out his shoulders, breathes, and prepares to grovel.

Robin and Steve are setting up just like they were at the last venue. It looks like a mess of cables and boxes from Eddie’s perspective, but Steve and Robin work with ruthless efficiency, alternately talking and signing when their hands aren’t full.

“Um,” Eddie says. G-d, he’s never been this awkward in his life. But this matters, like, really matters to him, and he’s gotta do right.

Neither of them pay him any attention.

“Excuse me?” he says a little louder.

Robin turns around. When she sees him, her expression instantly sours.

“Hello?” she drawls, sounding bored out of her mind.

Steve turns around, too. When he sees Eddie, his face-

Well, Eddie isn’t sure what that expression is supposed to mean. If he had to guess, he’d say mild annoyance.

Mild annoyance shouldn’t look that hot.

“I just wanted to say again that I’m really sorry,” he says, making sure to talk clearly and loud enough to be understood. He’s not an idiot, he knows that shouting is rude, but he makes sure he can be heard over the general chaos of setting up for a new show. “It wasn’t any of my business, and even if I meant well, it’s not an excuse.”

Steve’s face softens a whole lot as Eddie stumbles through his apology, and then he reaches up to his ears to take out ear plugs.

Huh?

“Mind saying that again?” Steve says with a smile.

Eddie is. So confused.

But then Steve laughs. “You should see your face, dude. I got the gist. Apology accepted, we’re cool.”

Okay, that makes Eddie feel better. A lot better. But he’s still confused.

And his mouth always moves faster than his brain.

“Why are you- why do you have- what-”

Robin rolls her eyes fondly. “This idiot,” she says, pointing at Steve, “always tries to do the first show without the ear plugs he needs-”

“Not this shit again,” Steve mumbles.

“-because, as it turns out, your ears do a lot more than just hear. Like balance-”

“You’re one to talk about balance, Buckley,” Steve says, giving her a light shove. She nearly topples over if not for the fact that he immediately grabs her arm to steady her.

Eddie thinks he might know even less than he thought.

“I want to make it up to you,” he says, and Steve and Robin stop bickering.

“You don’t have to do that,” Steve says, and Robin elbows him.

“I want to,” Eddie insists. “What’s your favorite song? We’ll play it at the end of our set.”

Naïvely and terribly optimistically, Eddie hopes Steve might say something that’s already in their set list, or maybe another one of their songs.

From the way that Robin and Steve are looking at each other conspiratorially, he doesn’t think that’s the case.

“No,” Steve says, laughing and shaking his head.

Robin sneaks a glance at Eddie, smirks, and starts signing at Steve.

The only thing Eddie understands about the conversation as their hands move is their facial expressions: Robin with a smirk, and Steve trying desperately not to laugh.

He’s so cute. He gets this little crease on the side of his mouth that Eddie wants to smooth out with his thumb.

Slow the hell down, buddy.

“Fine,” Steve says, throwing his hands up in the air. He turns back to Eddie. “Pretty Fly.”

“Are you fucking kidding me,” Eddie blurts.

Steve’s eyes narrow. “Didn’t you just apologize to me?”

“Sorry,” Eddie says. “It’s just that my bassist and lead singer have been gunning for this song for, like, 6 months. Archie chomps at the bit for fun bass lines, and Jeff just thinks it’s funny as-”

“Slow down,” Steve interrupts.

Right. He talks too fast.

“I’ll play it, but it means caving to my asshole friends,” Eddie says.

Robin cackles. “Told you it was a good idea.”

“Yeah, I love a good bass line,” Steve says. His face is softer again, and Eddie thinks he loves that expression.

He checks his watch. “Soundcheck is soon, so I’m gonna head back. Sorry again.”

“Eddie,” Steve says, and oh.

Eddie loves how Steve says his name.

“We’re good, okay?” he continues, small smile on his face.

“Well,” Robin chimes in. “After the apology song you will be.”

Eddie laughs. He really likes her now that she’s warmed up to him.

“Noted,” he says.

He heads back with a final wave and ducks backstage, where the band is tuning their instruments.

“Well?” Gareth asks, tightening his snare.

Eddie grabs his guitar, closes his eyes, and sighs. “He wants us to play Pretty Fly as an apology.”

“Let’s fucking go!” Archie roars, and Jeff gives him a high five.

“No way-”

“Gareth, I know-”

“You dick-hungry traitor.”

“Hey!”

“The fucking Offspring, Eddie? Punk? Are you shitting me? Punk just because you want a shot with a hot guy?”

Archie starts plucking out the bass line. Gareth throws a drum stick at his head. Jeff beams it back at him and misses.

“It’s one time,” Eddie says.

“Unless your cute roadie likes it enough,” Jeff teases.

“He’s not my anything.”

“Not yet,” Archie adds.

“Not ever.”

“Fucking pessimist,” Jeff says.

A tiny crashing sound makes them all turn toward the drum set, where Gareth is lightly thumping his head into the hi-hat.

“I’m gonna have to do the backing vocals for Pretty Fly,” he mutters.

“Your fault for sounding like a pre-pubescent chihuahua.”

Gareth throws his other drumstick at Jeff. “I’m not begging you for shit.”

“Do it for the bit,” Archie says. “You love doing it for the bit.”

Gareth picks his head up. “I do love doing anything for the bit.”

“Soundcheck in five!” someone calls.

“Thank you five!” Eddie yells back. Shit, he’s gotta tune his guitar.

Soundcheck is a breeze, and, after that, the time flies. Before he knows it, they’re out onstage, playing their usual set list.

Eddie doesn’t think he’ll ever get enough of this. The energy, the lights, the sounds, G-d, all of it. There’s nothing like being onstage and playing until his fingers hurt, nothing like joining in on the backup vocals, nothing like hearing the crowd roar with them.

It’s perfect. Touring is everything he dreamed of and more.

Eddie wants to do this for the rest of his life. They’re gonna headline one day, he knows it, but this is an amazing start.

What Eddie doesn’t want to do is talk, at Jeff’s request.

“Okay, okay,” he says, getting the crowd to quiet down. “We’ve got two more songs. The first one is one we’re playing because I fucked up.”

“And because he finally caved to us,” Jeff adds.

The crowd laughs, but it doesn’t feel mocking. Eddie laughs with them.

“So, Steve, consider this the final part of my apology-”

“And my peak embarrassment!” Gareth adds.

The crowd laughs again, and Eddie sighs, fondly long-suffering. “Let’s do it.”

The backing vocals are fucking embarrassing. Eddie’s with Gareth on that one. They suck, and he feels himself flush for reasons other than the heat.

But he imagines Steve smiling as he watches the show, and Archie is clearly having the best G-ddamn time on the bass, and Jeff is basically cackling his way through the song, so it’s worth it.

They get through it and then their closer without a hitch.

“We’re Corroded Coffin!” Jeff tells the crowd. “Y’all were amazing, so keep that energy up for the other opener and for the main act!”

The crowd roars, the lights black out, and they make their way backstage.

In the green room, on Eddie’s guitar case, is a note.

Apology more than accepted. Here’s my number in case you want to apologize again. Or maybe grab a coffee.

Text, don’t call. In case you haven’t noticed, my ears don’t work.

-Steve.

Eddie has never added a contact faster in his life.

I think I saw a 24 hour diner down the road. Hopefully they have good coffee.

Steve’s response is immediate.

Do you really think I care about the quality of the coffee?

You could be a coffee connoisseur for all I know, Eddie types back.

I don’t know a lot. Hence the date.

Date.

Woah.

Eddie tries to get his heart rate under control and text Steve back. He’s never been good at multitasking though, so by the time he’s able to formulate words again, the lights have gone down and the second opener is on. Steve’s working, and he shouldn’t be bothered.

Besides, Eddie should probably use the time between now and the end of the show to think before he speaks for once in his life.

Yeah fuck it I’ll keep the tag list (or you can follow the shiny new tag #gi;pe au): @vampireinthesun @paperbackribs @littlewildflowerkitten @estrellami-1 @messrs-weasley @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @omgshesinsane @bestwifehaver @marklee-blackmore @gleek4twd @steddiestains @chaoticvictorianspirit @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @alienace @7shrewsinatrenchcoat @punctualhowell @pluto-pepsi @voidpacifist @sunfloweringstories @anaibis @evillitteguy @hallucinatedjosten @avi17 @b-u-g-g-y @shinekocreator @l0st-strawberry @brassreign @abbiecadabi-blog @rainbow-freckle @gregre369 @rehfan @just-a-tiny-void @weirdandabsurd42 @satan-is-obsessed @honeysucklesinger @coyotepup345 @gayafmermaid @thegingerrapunzel

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saltpepperbeard · 6 months

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Poison into Positivity: A List of What I Liked in OFMD S2

Hello hello everyone! Things have been a little rough around here. Even away from the more heated takes, I've still seen a few "down in the dumps" murmurs. To which, I'm giving y'all big hugs, but also offering up some little bits of warmth! I wanted to share quite a few bullets of the things I enjoyed about this season. Maybe it'll serve as a reminder, or maybe it'll just serve as a chaotic, silly little read as per usual PFFF.

But I invite you to read along, and even add some of your own points should you feel inclined! Also, this might not even be my full list; these are just the ones that came to me quickly/off the top of my head. Still, let's dive on down like a fantastical, dazzling goldfish, shall we?

All the callbacks/parallels. My goodness. When I tell you I'm a SLUT for metaphors/parallels/callbacks/etc etc. Seeing so many things and being able to just *Leonardo Dicaprio pointing meme.* I know people might not share that same opinion because some might view it to be excessive, but I personally LOVED being able to point at my screen and be like "oH EYYYYYYY!!!" Maybe because it makes for such immaculate gifset/meta material <3 SJKJDLHSK

The costuming and makeup. WHEN THEY TALKED AT ECCC ABOUT EVERYONE GETTING HOTTER, THEY WERE NOT KIDDING LMAO. EVERYONE LOOKED SO, SO GOOD. and listen, i am on my knees begging for them to give ed with his hair up back to us. i need Her back,,,ALSO, SOMETHING SOMETHING COMPLICATED EMOTIONS TOWARDS STEDE'S LATTER HALF LOOK, BUT ALSO...GOD DAMN, MR. DARBY,,,,,,

Speaking of Mr. Darby, the acting in this season. The ACTTTINNNGG. Everyone acted their ASSES off. Everyone put their entire piratussies into this season. Though, I'm PARTICULARLY impressed with Taika and Rhys, because again with their "oh we're comedians lol so idk drama can be Difficult Difficult Lemon Difficult." MMMM I THINK THE FUCK NOT, MY GUYS LMAO??? They both did SO well with all the drama and painful moments. The acting in episodes 2, 3, 6, and 7 in particular like...God. GOD!!!

I loved so many characters in this season, and I'll of course have to give two individual shoutouts to my two favorite new ladies, but man. LET'S GO FRENCHIE!!! ALWAYS A DELIGHT!!! FANG/KEVIN MY ABSOLUTE SWEETHEART. JIM SERVING ABSOLUTE FUCKING GENDER THIS SEASON. OLU OLU DARLING OLU. PETE NEVER MISSING WITH HIS ONELINERS. LUCIUS BEING SO THEATRICAL AHDJKSDK LIKE NATHAN PLEASE YOU KILL ME. ROACH MAKING ME LAUGH OUT LOUD NUMEROUS TIMES AS HE DOES. WEE JOHN AND HIS KNITTING AND DRAG!!! AND THEN OF COURSE MY DEARLY BELOVEDS, ED AND STEDE. I JUST LOVE THEMMMMM!!! But okay okay okay-

Zheng my beloved. I just love this badass pirate queen with her sweet little pigtails and her IMMACULATE LINE DELIVERIES SDHJKSKL. A lot of my favorite deliveries from the entire season came from her quite honestly. Please see: "Girl, how ARE you?" and "Hiiiiiii. I KNOWWW it's been a day" and "I've killed mediocre men. I've killed exceptional men. But you're the worst kind: a mediocre man who thinks he's exceptional."

AND ARCHIE MY BELOVED. She kills me because I remember seeing like, those ~*~audition tape whispers~*~ WAY back in the day, and subsequently thinking she was going to be quite a different character. Only for this silly goofy bubbly energetic darling to pop up and snag my heart. HER deliveries kill me also, like when she goes "Like...STEDE Stede?" and the whole "I was IN the fuckin' snake!" also hhngngngngnershkfhslkds tattooed ladies Hot :(

Speaking of which, the comedy. THE DELIVERIES. THE WAY I LAUGHED OUT LOUD NUMEROUS TIMES THROUGHOUT, EVEN WITH THE DEEP UNDERCURRENT OF DRAMA/ANGST. The whole bit where Stede is in hysterics over his cursed coat is just hsjkdhsklds; it will NEVER not make me wheeze. And then, like I said, almost EVERYTHING Pete says this season kills me; another thing that will never not make me laugh is "a doggie...?" weird little pirate show with weird little humor my beloved

The ROMANCE??? I genuinely was going into the season with the expectation of getting maybe like, one or two Gentlebeard kisses. Imagine my shock and utter delight when we ended up with FOUR, AS WELL AS AN INTIMATE SCENE, THE LETTER SCENES, AND THE LOVE PROFESSIONS. Like, one of them dropping a legitimate "I love you" felt like an unrealistic expectation--the HIGHEST dream tier really. And then wouldn't you know it. And that doesn't even account for all the rest of the couples either! The murder wives having their chaotic little moments of fucked up affection??? LUCIUS AND PETE GETTING ENGAGED AND THEN MARRIED??? HELLO??????

The sets! I know people have pointed out that the world felt a bit simplified this time around, due to budget restraints and what have you. But I still loved what they did with the world even with the various constraints. The market in episode 6 is a PARTICULAR favorite of mine; it's just so lush and colorful. I also love what they did with The Revenge during episode 6 too!

Also, this might be an unpopular opinion, but I really actually liked that they filmed on location. First of all, love that the Kiwis got to be right at home in Aotearoa. Love that they have an even more special connection to the show now. But second of all, I just like when scenery is...actually THERE? It feels way more TANGIBLE. Don't get me wrong; that hugeass wraparound screen that they use to film a lot of sets is a technological marvel. But I'm a sucker for practical.

The deeper and more complex dives into character motivations/trauma. Like, homie lol...When I tell you episodes 6 and 7 utterly set my brain alight in the best way possible. I was CHUGGING through thoughts. You know those gifs where someone is walking around and ranting/passionately talking,,, yeah. Yeah. Maybe because a lot of it "struck a chord" with me indeed, but I love love LOVE getting brain food like that.

Speaking of brain food, in PARTICULAR, the deeper dives into Ed's self-loathing and into Stede's troubles with confidence and masculinity. A lot of Stede's choices were fueled by those two things, and it was SO friggin fun to catch all of them, put them in a jar, and shake them around. I've seen a lot of people fearing his actions in the latter half were out of character, but to me, I don't see it that way. I just see a man who has been so spurned, so left behind, and SO deprived, a man who is stuck thinking he has to be someone else to mean something. And I think that plays a lot into even the EARLIEST developments we saw in season 1, so it was just so intriguing to watch everything messily play out.

THE INNKEEPER. THE INNKEEPER MY BELOVED. SO much about that episode absolutely has my heart. All the different developments, the stakes, the pacing, and the payoff at the end. Not to mention that I had a FEELING that mysterious figure in the trailers was Hornigold, so it was so SO validating to see him pop up PFFF. And also, all those dream/gravy basket sequences were so so good too. I don't know if it's the chemistry between Taika and Mark, or the deeper symbolism, or the lines that have become vocal stims for me SJKDLS (please see: ooOOoooO eddie eddie eddie...you're laying some heavy shit on me, bro), but man. MAN.

And this one gets its own bullet because of course it does: the fucking mermaid scene. Like, are we kidding. ARE WE KIDDING. THE ROMANCE OF IT ALL? THE FANTASTICAL-NESS INDEED?? THE WAY IT WAS ALL FUCKING PRACTICAL AND RHYS SWAM DOWN TO TAIKA AS A BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GOLDFISH AND THEY HAD TO THROW HEART EYES AT EACH OTHER UNDERWATER??? WHAT THE FUCK!!! And don't even get me started on Kate Bush lol. This Woman's Work might easily be one of my favorite songs, if not my FAVORITE song from the season. And man. Man. The whole meaning behind Ed seeing Stede as this beautiful, sparkly being, and not some hypermasculine/extraordinary thing. He fell in love with Stede for who Stede really is. And so I ADORE that acknowledgement.

Speaking of songs, the MUSIC!!! Absolute bangers all throughout. And I loved how there seemed to be even more intermixed within the episodes. Like God... "These are the kids..." 🗣️ HELLO MY LOVE I HEARD A KISS FROM YOU 🦗🦟🦗🦟🦗🦟 . And all the beautiful classic piano pieces and NINA SIMONE AND JUST HSJKDHSFJKLHSKD????

Okay, I've always had and STILL have complicated thoughts and opinions on Izzy, but man, seeing him interact with the Revenge Crew was really something. Seeing Stede's influence come over the lot of them like a warm blanket, extending its welcoming and familial hands...It was just lovely. I love seeing our little sea family care for each other so much. They've probably all hurt so so much in different ways, so to see them all being a collective heart is just so nice.

Speaking of which, the queerness of it all, the queer celebration of it all. The way the whole crew is just...a representation of queer people finding each other, and subsequently finding love and family in each other. Like, when the whole world wants to cast you out, you pull each other in. When no one else wants you, you take refuge in each other. And just...the joy, beauty, and wonder that can be found in that.

And speaking of which x2, the overall care that was put into the entire thing, the effort that was put into the entire thing. I know Max fucked us over with the budget, which subsequently fucked things like the intricacy, the amount of characters, and especially the pacing. But, I don't know; I personally could still tell everyone involved was trying so so hard to deliver for us. Based on the little details, the little callbacks, and the little moments that felt so catered to us, it just seemed so...gifted to us. Not to mention of course, the way they so deliberately chose to end on a hopeful note in case we never get a third season. They care about us. They've always cherished our excitement and passion, so it just...idk; it feels so special to have a bit more of an intimate connection like that. I've never been involved with a piece of media that so avidly SEES its audience, and celebrates along with us. So, despite everything, despite any sort of troubles, despite any sort of lows, that's a big part of what has me clutching all of this so closely to my chest. And I really hope they can still see that love, because I want nothing more than for them to see this beautiful story through.

Also, getting to enjoy this with everyone. Getting to ride the wave from the beginning of filming, all the way through the finale. Getting to see all the excitement, all the theories, all the art, all the fanfiction, all the gif sets, all the meta, and everything in between. It has carried me through some nastiness in my personal life, and has subsequently served as a very welcomed distraction. It's been such a pleasure getting to delight in this new content with you all, and I hope we get to do so into the future. <3

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blueteller · 11 months

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So, I discovered the "random incorrect quotes generator" and had some fun with it. Here you go 😂

Alberu: So. Choi Han and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us Cale: *sighs* …What did Choi Han do? Alberu: He chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and… Choi Han: *smiles innocently* Do you need a steering wheel, Cale-nim?

Cale: We need to get through this locked door. Bud, give me your money Bud: …Ok, here? Cale: *pockets it* Thanks. Choi Han, kick down the door Bud: …

Eruhaben: While I'm gone - Raon, you're in charge. Raon: Yes!!! Eruhaben: *whispers* On, you're the one actually in charge. On: *whispers back* Obviously.

Basen: Where's Lily? She isn't answering Violan: I'll call Basen: Father and I have both tried six times ea- Violan: Lily! Lily: *in distance* Yes?

Cale: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'? Choi Han: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated- Raon: Smad! Cale & Choi Han: … (How can he be so cute)

Tasha: Alberu, tell Mary about the birds and the bees Mary: *stares silently* Alberu: *sweats* Alberu: …They're disappearing at an alarming rate

Cale: What doesn't kill me should run, because now I'm f***ing pissed Gods: *shiver* (Why do I hear boss music-?)

On: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life Raon: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind? On: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die. Hong: …edible! Cale: *shivers in the distance*

Cale: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 billion gallons? Choi Han: *thinks carefully* If you stabbed me, you could just heal me with a potion, and then we could buy another big-a** villa somewhere Clopeh: *enthusiastic* You could stab me too, and then you'd have 20 billion! Choi Han: *pulls out his sword with a smile* …Good thinking

*Archie and Paseton sitting in jail together* Paseton: So, who should we call for help? Archie: …I'd call Cale, but I think I feel safer in jail

Rasheel: *sarcastic* How petty can you get? Mila: *smiling* I once edited historical documents to win an argument I was wrong about Rasheel: *scared* What the f-

Alberu: ...You know those things will kill you, right? Eruhaben: *pouring himself a glass of vodka* That's the point. Choi Han: *smoking 10 cigarettes at once* We're trying to speed up the process. Cale: *nods while eating raw cookie dough*

Witira: You have to apologize to Paseton Archie: …Fine. Archie: 'Unf*** you', or whatever

Cale: Looking left cause you don't treat me right Choi Han: Looking right because you left Raon: Looking up cause you let me down Alberu: Looking down cause you f***ed up White Star: *bleeding from having his arm ripped off* …What is wrong with you guys??

Alberu: *walks into his bedroom* …Hello, people who do not live here. Cale: Hey. Choi Han: Hello. Raon: Hi cookie prince! Hong: *chewing* Alberu: You know I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only, right? On: *shrugs* We were out of cookies

Cale: I've come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than 'f***' Raon: Human, you poopy dumbo!! Cale: … Cale: …that works, I guess

Alberu: Instructor-nim, why do you always wear black? Choi Han: So that when someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'Haven't decided yet' is a valid response. Alberu: *thoughtfully* Hm. I should try that at the next nobles meeting

Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Eruhaben* Eruhaben: *hairflips* Fool, are you blind? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived. Also, if you could drag comb through that hair you would be a 7 at most, everyone knows I'm a constant 10-

Raon: Human, you'll have a hard time believing this because it never happens - but it seems I made a mistake! Cale: *sighs* ...What did you do this time?

Deruth: You see, children, nothing in life is free- Lily: Love is free! Basen: Knowledge is free Violan: Artistic inspiration is free Cale: *smirks* Everything is free if you simply loot it

White Star: I learned some very valuable lessons from this. Sheritt: I'm guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should've taken away. White Star: Death isn't real, and I'm basically God.

(Cage remix) Cage: *drinking* I learned some very valuable lessons from this. Taylor: ...I'm guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should've taken away? Cage: Death isn't real, and neither is God God of Death: *sobbing in the distance*

Deruth: Cale… just how many kids do you have? Cale: …Biologically, emotionally, or legally? Deruth: 0_0

#tcf #trash of the count's family #lcf #lout of the count’s family #humor #tcf humor #incorrect quotes #incorrect tcf #crack #tcf crack

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mercurytojupiter · 3 months

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the labyrinth - prologue

a/n: i'm going through an archie madekwe phase no one look at me

warnings: farleigh being farleigh, which includes underage drugs, drinking, cigarettes and sex 18+

fic summary: ariadne gavin and her childhood best friend turned enemy return to saltburn for the last time

Ariadne Gavin wishes she could say the first Catton she met was Felix or even Venetia. She would have loved to explain to people how she had tripped into Venetia at the airport when she first landed in England, or how she had been greeted by Felix's already tall, grinning face.

Instead, the truth was, the only reason the Cattons held their arms open to her as they did was because of Farleigh fucking Start.

Ariadne had met Farleigh when she was seven. Her father, Laurence Gavin, was a new money tech mogul who was making a name for himself selling computers. He had dragged her along to a fundraising gala, and it was there that Ariadne found herself forever enamoured with the Cattons.

Ariadne had never met another child before. Her upbringing was limited to her Nanny, Lilian, the house staff, Douglas, Marcus, and Tyrone, and her mother, Vienna. Ariadne had only even known that white people existed because of her storybooks.

"Hello," She whispers politely. "My name is Ariadne Marie Gavin."

"I'm Farleigh." The little boy shrugs.

Ariadne tilts her head. "How old are you?"

Farleigh looks at her strangely. "Seven and a half."

Ariadne pouts. "Oh. I'm just seven."

Farleigh's eyes widen in panic. "That's okay! Don't be upset! It's okay to be smaller than me! Normally I'm the smallest person."

"Youngest." Ariadne corrects.

"M'kay," Farleigh says, but makes no move to say the sentence correctly. He jumps down from his chair and squishes her cheeks. "Do you want to play hide and seek?"

"Won't the grown-ups be mad we're gone?"

"They never notice." Farleigh smiles.

That smile got Ariadne in more trouble than she could count over the next thirteen years.

At some point between seven and a half and fourteen, Farleigh stopped being her only friend. Or, more accurately, Farleigh began to make friends and it meant that Ariadne was going to be alone unless she made some of hers.

Or, that was, until Saltburn.

Ariadne didn't like the person Farleigh was becoming ever since they'd become teenagers. He'd been mean, and flaky, and worst of all, he kept hitting on her friends.

And yes, perhaps she was a little jealous, but she had always been territorial, and Farleigh was hers, not Ashley's or Jessica's. Besides, Farleigh grew like a beanstalk, and all her friends only liked him because he was tall. They didn't spend Sunday evenings conditioning his hair or laugh at his terrible -and slightly mean- jokes.

Overall, they had begun to drift a tad, but a crack was not a canyon, as her father liked to say.

But that didn't mean Farleigh wasn't still the only person her age she truly trusted, so he still came over to her house every Sunday to do homework and complain.

"Did I tell you my mom's family wants me to come to England over the summer?" He sighs, stretched out on her floor.

Ariadne has her nose tucked into her copy of Pride and Prejudice for her book report and looks up suddenly. "Excuse me?"

"I know, right? Like, why would I waste my summer-" Farleigh starts.

Ariadne shushes him. "Shut up, Far. Doesn't your mom's family pay for all your mom's shit? And yours, for that matter?"

"I mean, yeah, but they always said I'm out after eighteen." He shrugs.

Ariadne grins. "Because they don't know you. But if, say, you went to England in the summers, made connections with them, flashed some puppy dog eyes," she trails off.

Farleigh raises a brow. "You want me to go to them like some kind of homeless kid asking for spare change on Alameda Street?"

Ariadne kicks him. "No, I want you to use your brain. You're going to be my business partner once I inherit, obviously, but it's going to be obvious that we're only working together because we're friends if you don't at least have a college degree. Now, imagine, we get into some fancy British university, we network with like a billion people, and suddenly we have investors lining up at graduation."

"All it'll cost me is my pride." Farleigh grumbles.

Ariadne purses her lips. "Not if I come with. Then, it's just going to be us, two rich kids, going and being rich on a different continent over the summers."

Farleigh sits up. "I'm going to hate this, aren't I?"

"Not in the long run." Ariadne grins.

Ariadne wishes she'd never suggested going to Saltburn. She and Farleigh were one change in conversation away from escaping the Cattons and she'd never forgive herself for it.

Maybe it's the new money, manifest destiny, red-blooded American in her, but she never liked the look of Saltburn. She missed her modern, sleek home in Bel-Air, and from a single look, she knew Farleigh did too.

Saltburn was cold and ancient. There was no carpet, only million-year-old Persian rugs. No many-buttoned showers, only antiquated tubs. They didn't even have a bidet, which Ariadne thought was borderline uncivilized.

But they adjusted, slowly but surely, to the famous, trademark brand of Catton Madness that had sent his mother running for the hills all those years before.

Farleigh hadn't known that Felix and Venetia were their age, but they certainly were, and they were wilder and more English than anyone Ariadne had ever met.

She also found that they took to calling her demeaning, patronizing pet names like "Pet" or "Girlie." Farleigh got about the same treatment, only, in her opinion, worse, because there was no way to spin "Boy" or "Dog" as respectful.

Vee liked to call her "Newmo", short for "New Money" and Ariadne knew this was an insult, but bit her tongue.

She did that a lot, after Saltburn.

She starts at St. Mary Magdelene's Secondary Academy for Girls with Venetia that year, and Farleigh attends St. John's Secondary Academy for Boys with Felix. Twice a year, the adjoined schools have huge dances and dinners where they exercise their best manners.

The Gala is poorly chaperoned, as it is also the only time the faculty gets to mix and mingle. The dinner is mostly manner-based, but by the time the dance begins, most adults turn their heads away from the teenage drama and illegal activity.

When their first Fall Gala comes around, Ariadne looks around excitedly for Farleigh, peering through the crowd of white faces. She wants to tell him everything that's happened since they separated at the start of the school year.

Unfortunately, all she gets is Felix's stupid face. "Where's Farleigh?"

Felix rolls his eyes grinningly. "Smoking outside. Again."

Ariadne blinks, takes a step back, and laughs disbelievingly. Farleigh had gotten more rebellious since they'd become teenagers, sure, and maybe England was rubbing off on him, but he never smoked. "Are you kidding?"

Felix snickers. "He said you'd be pissed off."

That was another thing Ariadne hated about the Cattons. Everything was a fucking joke to them.

"No fucking shit!" She whisper-shouts. "He can't- He's going to ruin his lungs! This is my fault, I knew it was a bad idea for us to go to different schools!" She bites her lip, flicking her wrists in and out.

It was a terrible nervous tick. Lilian had always said it was unbecoming. Ariadne couldn't shake it.

Felix steadies her by the arms, charming doe eyes staring right into hers. "Farleigh will be fine, everyone smokes once in a while. Besides, he's finally letting loose, isn't that worth something?"

Ariadne wants to spit that it is not something, because Farleigh doesn't need to let loose, he needs more structure. He'd already been let loose his whole life and Ariadne had spent most of hers cleaning up the debris.

She doesn't yell at Felix, just shakes her head mutely.

"Well, maybe you need to let loose too. Vee's got weed or shrooms or something in the bathroom, go try that."

And, shockingly, Ariadne lets Felix lead her to the door of the Girl's bathroom, where a small puff of fogged-up air escapes.

"Have fun, Pet!"

He shoves her inside and lets the door swing closed.

Vee offers her a joint, grinning, and for the first time, Ariadne's thoughts cease.

After Ariadne is introduced to weed for the first time, she no longer worries about Farleigh. Still, the worst does not come until the Spring Gala, when she walks in on him losing his virginity to Arabella Vaillancourt.

All the jealousy she had felt in middle school hit a breaking point then. This wasn't flirting or even a kiss on the cheek. Arabella had claimed Farleigh in a way Ariadne would never be able to compensate for.

Ariadne turns her head away from the sight of them, sweating and naked and wholly consumed by each other and goes back to her dorm.

Vee sees her tears and offers her a line of coke, and from that point on, Ariadne and Farleigh are no longer friends or even allies.

When the summer break retrieves them again, she hardly looks at him in favour of making jokes with Venetia and walking Felix through the process of getting girls to like him. While Felix was pretty, most of the girls their age couldn't stand him because he was so boring to talk to. She pierces his eyebrow so he has something interesting to talk about. Felix is horrible at flirting, too. Not like Farleigh, she thinks, recalling the many girls he had wooed bitterly.

Soon, everyone at Saltburn forgets that Ariadne and Farleigh were ever even a pair. Or, in their respective cases, at least pretend to forget.

#saltburn smut #farleigh start x reader #farleigh start #farleigh start smut #farleigh saltburn #saltburn x reader #farleigh start x oc #farleigh start x original female character #farleigh start x black!oc #farleigh start x black!reader #black reader #poc!reader

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archie-sunshine · 4 months

Text

Survey Says-! (18+ Rodimus/EVERYONE)

Chapter 5: Software Update (Rodimus/Brainstorm/Perceptor)

Rodimus is NOT bitter about the results of the crew satisfaction survey, in fact, he’s fully prepared to change! He’s determined to change his crew’s minds, and what better way to do so than to get to know them- in the carnal sense that is.

There are no problems with this plan in Rodimus’s mind. There are many in Ultra Magnus’s. Magnus engages in some unfortunate(for Rodimus) damage control as head of Cybertronian Resources. Rodimus is not easily deterred.

Other Chapters Here! Read On AO3 Here!

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FIC TAGS: Rodimus/Everyone(But y’know, not like. EVERYONE. Just a lot of various background characters and also more specifically with some others), Takes place post dark cybertron, but pre the whole ship disappearing thing and the mutiny, smut, Chastity, denial, Rodimus is a slut, Ongoing humiliation, HR Violations as comedy, Ultra Magnus is clueless, sticky sexual interfacing, comedy, sexual comedy, dubious consent (if you squint and tilt your head), contains illustrations

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Authors notes: Okay you guys simply MUST hear me out on this one okay? this one was the fun chapter for archie to have fun writing. okay? okay. btw this chapter is extra long bc it kinda got away from me

CHAPTER TAGS: Plug n play, brain fuckery, submission, bondage, brief loss of bodily control, threesome, throatfucking, thigh fucking, rodimus is ignored in favour of whatever the fuck percey and brainstorm have going on

The broken dataslug felt like it was a thousand tons bouncing around in Rodimus’s subspace. He could keep kicking himself about his fuck up, and probably would be for the forseeable future, but he was on the way to fix things. He could faintly hear the sounds of work down the hallway from the lab, the fizzle of sparks and the whirr of machinery. Rodimus prayed that he’d catch Perceptor alone again.

He tried not to feel too upset when he heard the sounds of conversation floating from the laboratory.

“-mit its impressive, certainly, but the scale is a bit much for our current facilities, wouldn’t you think?” Perceptor’s voice reached Rodimus first, even and calm even slightly shouted over the sound of the power tools working.

“You lack vision, dear Percey, I think we could absolutely handle it!!” Brainstorm called back.

Rodimus paused, waiting for something from Nautica before approaching the door. He started as the door swung open on its own, the aforementioned femme jolting at the sight of him. “Oh! Hello captain.” She greeted, offering a cheery little smile.

“Nautica.” Rodimus smiled back politely. His finials twitched a bit as he felt her field tense back against her just a bit too late to hide the knowingness in it. He attempted to retain a cool demeanor. “Where are you off to?”

“Just on my way out!” she chirped, averting optic contact. “Going to Swerve’s, maybe I’ll see you there later, bye!” The bot scooted around him, ducking under his spoiler and trotting off down the hallway.

“Rodimus?” Perceptor called from within.

Slag. He could already hear the sound of work halting as his presence became fully known. The speedster stepped into the lab, the door closing behind him with a pneumatic hiss. “Yes, hi, sorry for dropping by unexpectedly.”

“...Again?” Perceptor added, biting back a smirk. He was sitting at one of his work stations, in the process of putting something together that Rodimus had no hope of understanding. Brainstorm was similarly engaged, though as Rodimus had entered he’d taken the time to spin lazily around in his seat, resting his cheek knowingly in his palm with a suggestive look in his eyes.

“... Yes. Again.” Rodimus muttered.

“And how could us two geniuses be of help, Rodimus?” Brainstorm prompted, amusement clear in his tone. A flare of heat churned in Rodimus’ tanks, his optics flicking back and forth between the other two mech’s faceplates. “... What’s with these looks, what’s going on here?” Rodimus snapped out, crossing his arms.

Brainstorm snorted involuntarily, quickly resetting his vocalizer. “WELL, Perceptor was just recently telling us about a very interesting project he worked on-”

“YOU TOLD??” Rodimus blurted out incredulously, mortification washing over his frame. It wasn’t as if he was mad at Perceptor for kissing and telling, in fact he hoped most of his partners were inclined to do so. It was more… the whole vulnerability of the matter, that someone else knew he’d been desperate enough to ask for help.

Perceptor shrugged a bit. “I talk about my projects with Brainstorm most of the time we work in the lab.” Projects. Rodimus fought off a shiver. That was what he was in his eyes, then, a project… that should have been insulting, probably.

“Good for morale.” Brainstorm agreed, beaming at his lab partner. He then turned back to Rodimus, all affection in his expression melting out in favour of a mocking smile. “You’d know all about morale, wouldn’t you, captain?”

If he weren’t already in enough trouble with cybertronian resources, Rodimus might have throttled him. “Yep.” He gritted out instead. “Look- I just need a new copy of the… project you gave me.”

Perceptor cocked his head in confusion. “A new copy? Is there something wrong with the last one I gave you, Rodimus?”

Rodimus shriveled. It was embarrassing enough to come crawling back, it was embarrassing enough to ask for a new one, but now with someone else- someone else not sworn to secrecy(with some apparent caveats)- in the lab? This was torture.

He sheepishly reached into his subspace, pawing around for a moment as he approached Perceptor’s desk. He daintily set the crushed dataslug on the table there, offlining his optics in preparation for the reaction.

Rodimus was right to do so, clearly, as Brainstorm burst into laughter. Perceptor cleared his vocalizer, clearly covering up a snicker of his own as he prodded at the shattered circuitry with a stylus. “... You broke it already?”

Rodimus looked away, fidgeting uncomfortably under the two scientists' gazes. “... I actually broke it the same night you gave it to me-”

“THE SAME NIGHT??!” Brainstorm gawked, now peering over Rodimus’ shoulder. “Oh you poor thing.” He crooned mockingly, patting him on his back plating gently.

Perceptor reached into a drawer of his desk, absently picking out a new dataslug and placing it on the table. “Alright, you have a seat Rodimus, I’ll get you a new one.”

Rodimus blinked. “Oh- You don’t need me back on the-” He gestured at the table he’d been on during his last visit.

Perceptor finally glanced up from his work, raising a brow ridge at him. “... No? I have all my work backed up here.” He said, wiggling a datapad in his hand.

“Oh. Okay.” Rodimus blushed a bit, feeling stupid for assuming. It wasn’t as if he’d wanted to spend another half hour getting toyed with and experimented on like some sort of science project… He’d just come to get a new copy of his magic overload stick, that was all.

This was a good thing.

Rodimus wasn’t disappointed even a bit.

Brainstorm brushed past him, now leaning over Perceptor’s shoulder to read the datapad. He mouthed the glyphs on the screen, brows knitting together as he squinted at the lines of code.

“Feh.” Brainstorm sniffed finally, rolling his optics.

Perceptor paused, turning to face the other with a pointed look. “What?”

“... I don’t know, I just feel like you played it a bit safe, Percey.” Brainstorm said. He had that tone to his voice that he only seemed to get when he was trying to play it cool while also silently begging you to ask him what he meant by that.

“What do you mean by that?” Perceptor scoffed.

“I don’t know, I just…” He leaned back, arranging his frame into a haughtier, annoyingly smug pose. He examined his digits nonchalantly. “... Expected it to be a little bit more interesting.”

Rodimus swallowed, optics bouncing between the two of them. “Interesting…?” He mumbled out.

“Well, the client in question didn’t ASK for interesting, he asked for some help, and I gave it to him, and he was happy with it!” Perceptor huffed, spinning in his chair to further face Brainstorm.

“And I’m sure he was! I’m only saying that there are a lot more interesting ways one could have solved the problem, and your methods of efficiency are always very admirable, Percey.” Brainstorm put his servos up placatively, his tone infuriatingly condescending.

Perceptor scoffed again, standing up from his seat. “Well, if you’re so certain you could have done a better job, why don’t you prove it, Brainstorm?” He sneered, jabbing an accusatory digit into Brainstorm’s chest. How Perceptor managed to remain oblivious to the giddiness in Brainstorm’s field was a mystery to Rodimus, it was nearly bowling him over.

“I’d be happy to!” Brainstorm grinned, swinging his helm around to face Rodimus. “What do you say, Captain?”

Rodimus thought for a long few klikks. Brainstorm was just as smart as Perceptor, he could likely play Rodimus’s processor like an instrument just like him too, but his disposition was generally more… unpredictable… in a way that might not have been conducive to his goals.

“... Fine, but I don’t want to hear about anyone else hearing about this, okay?” Rodimus conceded. It was only when he saw the look in Brainstorm’s optics go from excited to elated that Rodimus considered he might have made the wrong choice.

Rodimus was beginning to feel like a bit of a third wheel. Which was odd, because it was him who was currently laying on an examination slab, tilted just a bit upright, while the two scientists bickered over him. He could see his own diagnostics and files brought up on a myriad of screens and datapads that Brainstorm had hooked up around him. Rodimus wriggled uncomfortably on the slab, itching a bit at Brainstorm’s plug in his diagnostic port. He felt less like a mech and more like a missile the scientist was working on. The thought made Rodimus’ plating feel hot and uncomfortable.

“Well see, there’s the problem-” Brainstorm tsked, snapping Rodimus from his thoughts as his servo came down to grip the crest of his helm and tip it to show Perceptor the interfacing port on it’s back. “Who puts an interfacing port at the back of someone’s head?”

“H-hey!” Rodimus started, giving Brainstorm a pointed glare.

“Ahh… I see, that definitely could pose an issue then.” Perceptor nodded a bit.

“Not if you use a topical patch instead of a plug.” Brainstorm waved his servo dismissively, releasing Rodimus’s helm to return to his work.

“But then that makes it harder to take off if you want to stop.” Perceptor said, as if it were an obvious problem.

Brainstorm just laughed, “I have many doubts that Rodimus would worry about stopping.”

“I can- I’m still here you know!” Rodimus snapped.

“Well then you can answer our query then, would you feel more comfortable with a datastick or a topical patch?” Perceptor asked, holding up either one in his servos. Rodimus turned his helm to consider them.

“Uhh-” He began, cut off quickly when he felt the shiver of a command being typed into his processor.

[Action input- Test- Tactile sensors]

Rodimus felt a shudder ripple over his body, each of his sensory inputs warming up briefly before turning off, showing each one was in proper working order. The mech rolled his digits into fists, letting out a shaky vent. “E-either one is fine- I don’t- I don’t care.” He offered helpfully.

Perceptor frowned and sighed. “Fine then.” He broke his attention off from Rodimus when he heard another chuckle from Brainstorm, his frown sharpening.

“Ahh, Perceptor… Really, this code is just adorable, it’s like you didn’t even think of all the ways one can manipulate a sexual code.” Brainstorm mused, mostly to himself.

[Action input- Stimulus reaction- Anterior node- 50%]

Going from zero sensory input to fifty directly on his node was not what Rodimus would describe as ‘cool’ or ‘fun’. A sudden shout punched itself from Rodimus’ chest, his hips jumping off the table as if his valve were attempting to escape the pressure. His pedes came down with a clang, his body arched up in a quivering bridge. “A-AH- FRAG- Brainstorm-!” Rodimus gritted out, waiting for the stimulation to go as he squirmed.

“See, you probably noticed a big amount of his pleasure based coding centers around his valve, right, but-” Brainstorm started to explain, gesturing with his stylus at one of the screens for Perceptor’s benefit. Rodimus blearily noted the diagram was some quick three dimensional mockup of his array. “You know even if a majority of the frame’s favoured stimulant nodes are in one place, it doesn’t mean you-”

“BRAINSTORM!!” Rodimus wailed out, still writhing. The pleasure was burning, his body alight with charge demanding a place to go.

[Cease action input]

Brainstorm sighed and rolled his optics as Rodimus went limp on the table. The whole situation would be sexy if Rodimus were more into the blatant negligence the two of them were clearly treating him to. He tried to focus on steadying his fans as they kicked on.

“As I was saying, I think there are more interesting nodes you could stimulate, in addition to those in the array, to give a more interesting experience.” Brainstorm finished. “At least for a project as boring as ‘data stick that makes you overload’ anyway.”

“B-boring? Primus, Brainstorm, I should’ve considered how scientifically stimulating my own problems were for you before coming here, that’s on me.” Rodimus huffed out indignantly, pinning the jet with a glare.

“Oh, your problems are incredibly scientifically stimulating Rodimus, I can think of a dozen ways to solve your whole panels plight off the top of my head, but Perceptor chose the most boring solution-” Brainstorm rambled exasperatedly, going through a few more codes before hitting the enter button on his datapad.

[Action input- test- oral tactile sensitivity]

[Action input- test- audial sensitivity]

[Action input- test- tactile sensitivity- thigh and hip plating]

Rodimus squirmed. His optics flickered a bit as his processor fought to follow all commands at once. A fuzzy, tingly wash came over his glossa and dentas, then the same over his thigh and hip plating, as if someone were stroking over each bit of plating very lightly. Finally, his audials became suddenly more sensitive, taking in each minute whirr and buzz of the room around him. The sensations came to a slow, easing stop after only a few seconds, leaving Rodimus with an odd feeling in his tanks.

“Boring?” Rodimus finally breathed out, glancing at Brainstorm.

Brainstorm didn’t make optic contact with him, he was too busy inputting commands. “Yes, boring.”

“Would you mind enlightening us then, Brainstorm, on what the dozen other ideas you had are?” Perceptor prompted, folding his arms and leaning back in his seat.

[Action input- Sensory stimulus reaction- valve calipers(1-10) 15%]

[Action input- Sensory stimulus reaction- valve nodes(1-6, 10-18) 10%]

Rodimus moaned lowly, offlining his optics and gritting his dentas. That felt more familiar, his valve squeezing around a phantom sensation, more akin to digits than a full sized spike.

“Well if we wanted to go closer to brute force, there’s technically nothing in the statement ‘crew members are not allowed to remove the magnetizer until the period of punishment is over’ doesn’t extend to one… applying a local anesthetic and removing the lower modesty panels entirely.” Brainstorm started.

“N-no- thats- I don’t want that thanks-” Rodimus’s tanks squeezed uncomfortably. His legs instinctively came together around his panels, earning him a tap from Brainstorm’s stylus.

“Keep those open please, I need to keep an eye on your panels. In fact you could do with squirming a lot less- Ah, don’t worry.” Brainstorm was speaking a thousand miles a minute, leaving Rodimus’s already foggy head spinning.

[Action input- disengage automotive directives from user: Rodimus- neck down]

Rodimus’s entire body went slack with a thud as his legs hit the slab. He let out a choked off cry, willing his frame to move and finding himself limp as a ragdoll.

“W-wait!” Rodimus squeaked out.

“Don’t panic, your body is in good servos, Roddy.” Brainstorm cooed, patting his leg briefly before going back to his work. “Now, I know you’re still keeping up those one on ones, right, Captain?”

“Y-yeah- Hey, listen, I know I move a lot but this is-” Rodimus began to protest, trying his hardest to ignore the ongoing sensation in his valve.

“Relax. I’ve got a way to make those more fun for you if you’re going to be using your intake…~” Brainstorm sing songed, his optics scrunching in an impish little smile. “Here, hold on, I’ll give you your body back in a second, just-” He began, rolling his seat away out of Rodimus’s view and returning with a few yellow painted metal loops. He handed two of them to Perceptor, who seemed to understand the idea just fine as the two of them arranged Rodimus’s limp form into a wide, spread out X shape.

Rodimus dimly felt the familiar sensation of four magnetizer cuffs activating and latching to the metal of the table. “W-why the frag do you even have those in your lab-?” Rodimus asked.

“Don’t ask.” Brainstorm answered, “They’ll just keep you in place for me while I work alright? Do I have your consent to mess with your mouth?” He made a show of asking, clearly more for Perceptor’s benefit than Rodimus’

[Action input- previous input disengaged]

Rodimus was quiet for a moment, the ongoing feelings in his array making him feel like he was about to start leaking. He gave his restraints a testing wiggle, finding himself stuck, but still able to squirm, to a more controlled degree. He cleared his vocalizer, his intake feeling dry as he spoke. “... Yeah okay.”

Brainstorm’s optics flashed just long enough for Rodimus to feel regret before the data inputs came through.

[Action input- cease all inputs- area:Valve]

[Action input- reduce gag reflex- 100%]

[Action input- increase tactile sensitivity- Glossa-60%]

[Action input- increase tactile sensitivity- Dermas-60%]

[Action input- increase tactile sensitivity- Intake- 40%]

[Action input- increase oral lubricant production- 50%]

[Action input- sensory link- tactile oral sensation = pleasure center activation]

Rodimus was overwhelmed for a moment, letting out a glitchy, confused grunt as his intake tingled with sudden sensation. He ran his glossa over his dentas experimentally, turning more pink at the shudder of pleasure that ran down his spinal strut at the feeling. “Oh- Brainst- ah-” Rodimus wheezed. Even just moving his mouth to speak felt oddly good, every brush of his tongue over the expanse of his palate suddenly feeling charged with arousal.

“A brief look at your more recent updated data in your pleasure centers shows general intake sensitivity has already had some spikes on its own, I’ve just..” Brainstorm trailed off, reaching out to playfully tap Rodimus’ lip with his stylus. The feeling sent tingles down Rodimus’ frame directly to his panels. “Heightened the effect. You can call me a genius now.”

Rodimus groaned weakly, too busy squirming in his bindings to pay the scientist much mind. The feeling was weird, good, but weird. He appreciated the thought but it wasn’t like he wanted to go around getting a reputation for finishing just from oral. He had some semblance of dignity to uphold.

A semblance of dignity he was apparently giving up for the time being as he greedily ran his glossa against the roof of his intake, sending sparks skittering across his plating. Rodimus keened, optics flickering and going dim with want.

“Really, this is just gratuitous.” Perceptor scoffed, his faceplate bright pink from Rodimus’ lascivious display. He turned his vision away from him to Brainstorm. “When do you have the time to think of this kind of… thing?”

“Unimportant,” Brainstorm dismissed, standing up and setting his datapad aside. “I have more tests I’d like to run! Rodimus, be a dear and open wide for me?” The scientist patted Rodimus’ cheek, holding his stylus up and wiggling it between two fingers.

The captain complied, letting his jaw drop open and his tongue hang out.

“Very good, Rodimus.” Brainstorm cooed, running the edge of his stylus slowly down the flat of the other mech’s glossa. Rodimus’s valve cycled and squeezed around nothing, his spike twitching and stirring in its housing.

“Nnghhuhuuuhh…” Rodimus answered intelligently. He dimly heard Perceptor clear his vocalizer, but chose not to care, instead opting to curl his glossa around the edge of the stylus and stroke against it.

Brainstorm chuckled, freeing his stylus and running it along Rodimus’s top derma. “It’s very easy to remap pleasure centers to elsewhere in someone’s frame, I could do this to anywhere you liked, but I figured this would be the most advantageous, yes?”

“Y-yeahh…” Rodimus mumbled breathlessly, trying to keep himself as under control as possible. He shook his helm to try and clear the fogginess in it, only to let out a wanton moan when Brainstorm’s free servo came down on his helm crest to hold him still.

“Try not to thrash so much, or I’ll have to take your bodily control away again, and we don’t want that, do we?” Brainstorm hissed, before letting go of his stylus in favour of gripping Rodimus’ tongue between his middle and index digit. Rodimus’ squirmed, trying to hold his helm still as his back arched up off the table. He felt like his whole frame was on fire in the strangest way. He fought to keep from making a further fool of himself, but it was a losing battle. Brainstorm released his glossa, instead shifting his servo to pet his digits over the surface of it.

Rodimus moaned dumbly and began to suck at them on reflex, letting his optics fully go offline as Brainstorm worked his digits gently in his mouth.

Brainstorm leaned down, chuckling as he murmured hotly in Rodimus’ audial. “And I could go further than this, too, I could increase some more of your priorities, make every bit of these ‘apologies’ make you-”

“Alright, I think that’s- that’s quite enough, Brainstorm.” Perceptor interjected. Brainstorm drew his digits from the captain’s mouth with a wet pop, standing back up straight. Rodimus definitely didn’t crane his neck after his servo, and absolutely did not let out an embarrassing noise at having his mouth empty.

“Oh not at all!! We haven’t even tested his throat’s responses!” Brainstorm feigned ignorance at the lewdness of it all, putting his still wet servo on his hip as he gestured across Rodimus’ coolant slick frame. “I’m going to put my spike in his mouth and see-”

Perceptor sputtered for a moment. “This is hardly scientific-”

“Well sure, but it’s more fun if you pretend it is, isn’t it?” Brainstorm chirped, stepping around the side of the table to stand by Rodimus’ head. He hit a button on a nearby console and the slab tilted back until Rodimus’ helm was level with Brainstorm’s modesty panel, at which point Brainstorm carefully rearranged the other bot so that his head was hanging languidly over the edge of the table. “How are you doing down there, Roddy?”

“F-feels weird… good…” Rodimus panted. Had he been more eloquent at the time he might have said something like ‘it feels like my panels are going to fall off’ or ‘please put something in me’, but Rodimus’ foggy mind somehow spared him that added embarrassment. He simply stared at Brainstorm’s panels hopefully, letting out a relieved whine as he saw them transform away.

“Yeah… thats good, I’m glad. Percey, if you wouldn’t mind monitoring the datascreens while I test?” Brainstorm asked, absently petting over Rodimus’ jaw and neck as he coaxed his spike from it’s housing.

“Er- Of course, thats just fine.” Perceptor agreed, turning to watch the readouts with his faceplate almost entirely pink.

Rodimus craned his neck out to Brainstorm’s slowly extending spike, hungry for it in a way he’d never felt before. The first brush of the tip against his dermas sent shivers down his back strut, his engines revving involuntarily as he rolled his tongue against the slit. All this teasing and excess charge couldn’t be good for him, but by this point, Rodimus hardly cared.

He let out a grateful moan as Brainstorm slid his spike carefully into Rodimus’ intake. The captain was vaguely aware at this point that he was salivating more than usual as a ribbon of oral solvent slid headily down his cheeks. Rodimus was startled at the ease with which Brainstorm managed to press his spike into his throat, but any untoward feelings about the matter melted away, replaced with arousal and desperation as his body blazed with charge. He sucked greedily at the intrusion in his mouth, laving his tongue over the topside of Brainstorm’s spike.

“Aaahh, that’s just wonderful-” Brainstorm sighed out, leaning over Rodimus’ body to stroke his servos over the speedster’s overcharged chassis. “I’m so good it scares me sometimes.”

Perceptor chuckled dryly. “All vitals look to be reacting normally. Though, the lack of gag reflex could pose some worries couldn’t it?”

“Oh, you’re too cautious.” Brainstorm dismissed him, beginning to pump his hips into Rodimus’ throat. He disregarded the muffled groans Rodimus was making in favour of teasing his digits along the sensitive edges of the other mech’s spoiler.

“Hardly! I just think things through longer than you do.” Perceptor chuckled again, but there was a note of breathlessness to his voice.

Again, that was probably lost on Rodimus, who was too busy straining his wrists against his restraints in an attempt to grab Brainstorm and press his spike even further into his mouth. He needed it, needed it in a way the other mech couldn’t hope to understand. He swallowed his own drool uselessly, mewling at the feeling of his throat tightening and rippling against the scientist’s spike. He thought he might die if he didn’t keep using him. Every intrusion was getting to him, the feeling of his digits groping at his prone form, the weight of the spike in his mouth, the burning connection of the plug in his diagnostic port. He was helpless. The feeling was so alien, so wrong, so frightening, and yet all Rodimus could do was moan for more.

“Mm-muh-!” He moaned out, gurgling in mindless ecstasy as Brainstorm redoubled his efforts of pounding into his mouth.

“You seem a little bothered, Percey~...” Brainstorm cooed to his partner mockingly. “Is something wrong?”

Perceptor reset his vocalizer with a meaningful click. “No- Nothing, its uhm… only a very… unprofessional display…”

“Well… I’m sure he wouldn’t mind helping you out as well, if all this… unprofessionalism is making it hard for you to focus…!” Brainstorm’s words were heavy with implication and lust, each snap of his hips rocking Rodimus’ frame. The meaning behind his retort finally dawned on Rodimus’ groggy mind, and the bound mech writhed and squirmed, drool bubbling from his lips as he whimpered in need. “See?” Brainstorm chuckled darkly, thumbing lightly at the bulge his spike left in Rodimus’ throat.

It was hard for Rodimus to focus on much other than the weight in his mouth, so he continued to worship, rolling his glossa over each node and biolight and ridge, drinking in each involuntary twitch and gasp Brainstorm let out. He hardly noticed when the magnets on his ankles came away, barely gave any mind as the table below his lower half bowed out, only really giving the movement any mind when he felt Perceptors delicate servos grasping his thighs. His digits seared against Rodimus’ leaking, overcharged panels, making the captain buck and squirm and squeal around Brainstorm’s spike.

“R-Rodimus, is this alright with you?” Perceptor asked, voice heavy with need. Rodimus nearly cried out when Brainstorm pulled his hips back to allow him to respond.

He coughed and swallowed, his mouth drowned in oral solvent and prefluid. “G-hhahh- Go f-for it, please- f-frag- anything-” Rodimus babbled, leaning out to try and get the spike back into his mouth. He whined low in his vocalizer as Brainstorm slipped his spike back home, soothingly petting over Rodimus’ chassis and neck. Rodimus went slack under the two mechs’ ministrations, luxuriating in the rolling sensation crashing over his frame. He felt Perceptor’s spike pressurize between his slick thighs, drinking in the gasp he let out as it slid against the charged heat of his modesty panel.

Rodimus could hardly tell the magnetizer was there anymore, the ache of his array was negligible when compared to the heat of the spikes in and against him and the servos gripping at his dewy plating. His mind went blank, arcs of charge rippling over his body with each thrust, both of the other mecha grounding their own lust through him. Rodimus was lost in it, swallowing intakefuls of solvent and fluid, face growing sticky and messy as his mouth hummed with perverse delight.

He could feel every bit of his plating vibrating, every inch of metal and protoform alight with need. Pleasure gathered heavy in his tanks, drawing him closer and closer to the edge. He couldn’t get enough, squirming between the two scientists, puffs of hot air filling the room with steam. He swallowed around Brainstorm’s spike and felt his valve clench under his panels. Perceptor’s spike between his thighs sped up with a punched out moan from the microscope, his digits digging into Rodimus’ plating and threatening to leave scratches there.

Rodimus felt Brainstorm’s rhythm begin to stutter, his servos coming down to grip the table as he chased after his overload desperately. “O-Oh- Perceptor-” Brainstorm huffed out, steam billowing from the slits in his mask.

Rodimus might have been offended. He should have been offended. The blatant way with which the scientist ignored him, even as he spent his overload down Rodimus’ throat should have made the captain bitter. But instead that heat just gripped him deeper, his engines roaring with lust as Rodimus himself tumbled over into his own climax. His body was strung out taught, writhing and groaning in ecstasy. Transfluid spilled from his dermas and over his face, spurting in equal measure around the seams of his modesty panels and magnetizer. He dimly heard Perceptor gasp and moan at the display, and keened as he felt jets of fluid paint lewdly up his abdomen and across his chassis.

Rodimus laid bare, steaming, panting as Brainstorm slowly dragged his spike out of his intake. Rodimus’ head swirled. He barely recognized the feeling of Brainstorm unplugging his diagnostic cable, hardly noted the stickiness coating the better part of his faceplate and crotch. He allowed himself to bask, savouring the afterglow of his much needed overload as it hung cloyingly to his frame.

Rodimus couldn’t help but feel like he was being rushed out. By the time he was being ushered to the door, he was still a bit out of sorts, a topical patch containing the affectionately named ‘intake interface initiative’ code in his servo.

“Let me know if there are any bugs even though I know there won’t be! And happy trails, take care, buh-bye!” Brainstorm said hurriedly, offering a slightly breathless grin as he shoved Rodimus through the door of the laboratory.

“Uh- Yeah, thanks for-” Rodimus was only able to get the sentence halfway out before the door slid closed behind him. He let out a long, tired sigh, massaging his vocalizer lightly. It was a little bit raw, for good reason. “... Cool.” He muttered, beginning his trek back to his office.

Rodimus eyed the topical patch in its casing, flipping it between his fingers casually. He wouldn’t admit this to Brainstorm or Perceptor(or probably anyone else), but the thing kind of scared him. He was certain there had to be some other bug in there that made his processor work wrong, otherwise he wouldn’t have… well he wouldn’t have gotten so into whatever that was.

He reminded himself frequently what these meetings were: a means to an end. He was getting to know his crew better, he was making a connection, he was showing them he was dependable and generous. What was more generous than sucking spike? Not much, from Rodimus’ point of view.

It was weird to let himself get so lost in the whole matter, like that code had made him do. Yeah, made him. That was it. It wasn’t so bad to let himself enjoy the attention now and then, especially when he’d actually been able to use his array during, but if he got that carried away… just from sucking someone off? That was a bit embarrassing.

Some part of him considered the situation- prone, experimented upon, disregarded but praised, teased… used. It couldn’t have been any of those feelings that had made him act that way.

It was the code!

It must have been.

Rodimus shook his helm, tucking the patch into his subspace delicately. Some parts of his plating still felt sticky, his jaw ached, his vocalizer was raw, there were black paint transfers around his thighs and hips from Perceptor’s groping. He looked like a cheap shareware whore.

…

Rodimus closed out the prompt in his processor to open his panels for what felt like the thousandth time. He let the door to his office close behind him and sat uncomfortably at his desk.

He eyed the fresh stack of datapads and the order his workspace had been brought to and frowned. Ultra Magnus had been there while he was away. Again.

Rodimus took a long, deep vent in.

Just 5 more cycles until his midway meeting with Ultra Magnus. He’d lie his aft off about how much he’d changed, he’d get that magnetizer off, and then things would go back to normal. He’d get through the list once and for all, and everyone would finally recognize how much he did for his crew.

Rodimus briefly considered what it would look like having to endure another 16 cycles if he was unable to convince him.

He swallowed thickly and did the unthinkable to keep his mind off that grim idea.

Rodimus started working on his datapads.

#valveplug #transformers #mtmte #transformers mtmte #/nsfw #my fic #my art #rodimus #brainstorm #perceptor #brainrodceptor #?? is that the ship name? idk #maccadam

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dangerousstrawberryshark · 1 year

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You'll Never Be Alone

Pairings: Archie Andrews x male reader

Summary: It started with him protecting you but changed as time passed. He now harbors feelings for you.

WARNINGS: F slurs. homophobia, and bullying. MAJOR: ⚠ Sexual Assault ⚠

(Hello, my little strawberries! I'm back after a long time! I'll be posting more requests like this. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this. The Headcanon format is from @marilynmonroefanfics. And I wanna thank everyone on my discord server!)

You didn't understand why you were treated like this. Why were you subjugated to this abuse?

Every day at school was hell. The ones that tormented you the most were the bulldogs, Riverdale's football team.

They would tease and mock. Verbal, but that changed when news of you being gay was exposed.

The Bullying went from verbal to physical. They would give you regular beatings every day.

"Well, look at what we have here. It's the little faggot. I bet you wanna suck my fucking cock." One of them said as he punched you right in the stomach. Pain shooting through you.

"Bet the faggot wants us to fuck his ass," Reggie said, getting his own kicks in. You were left on the ground in pain as the bulldogs left. Leaving you and Moose alone.

(SEXUAL ASSAULT AHEAD! SKIP THIS PART IF YOU WANT!)

"It's just us now, faggot." Moose said, picking you up and slamming you against the wall.

"God, your body turns me." Moose groans as he grinds his erect cock against your thighs. "This ass and thighs."

Moose latches his dirty mouth onto your neck. "How about you be my cumdump?" you cried harder as he continued.

(IT ENDS HERE!)

Suddenly, you felt Moose get thrown followed by a loud thud. You looked to see a redheaded boy beating the shit out of him.

You stayed in your position, shocked before you felt someone pick up and carry you away.

He was wearing the Riverdale football team jacket, meaning he was a bulldog, but he wasn't like the others. His voice took you out of your mind.

"Hey, are you okay? Any injuries?" The boy said as he looked over your body. Only seeing some bruises and marks.

The redheaded boy really cared about you. He wasn't like the other bulldogs. He didn't insult nor place his hands on you. Only to take you away to safety.

He kept talking to you, asking if you were hurt in any way. You responded with a no. He then introduced himself.

"If you say so... but anyway, my name is Archie. Archie Andrews," he said, smiling at you. There was no malicious intent.

"I'm... m/n," you replied.

After that day, Archie would always be by your side. The other bulldogs did little to no harm. Archie became your bodyguard and friend.

You never realized how many classes you had with him or how you both shared the same interests. Everything was becoming better, but you may have developed a crush on your new friend.

The more time Archie spends with you, the more his crush grows. Being around you made him feel comfortable and happy.

He would dream of marrying and sleeping with you.

It was now or never. You told Archie to meet you after school/practice.

"So, you wanted to speak with me?" Archie said, sitting down beside you on the bed.

"Yes, I wanted to say that..."

You started to freeze. Your brain was in panicking and telling you to back down, but your heart was saying to go with it.

"Archie, I like you! It's okay if you don't feel the same way. I-" Suddenly, you felt a soft pair of lips press against yours. Archie's hands pulled you closer.

You melted into the kiss. Forgetting everything around you as you wrapped your arms around his neck. Archie pulled back, breathing heavily.

"M/n... I like you- no, I love you! I wanted to confess first, but it looks like you beat me to it." Archie chuckled. Tears roll down your face. Tears of joy.

"M/n. Do I have the honor of being your boyfriend?"

"Yes! Of course!" you replied. Crying into his chest. He lifted your head and kissed you again.

You both then laid down together. Archie's ching resting on your head with you buried in his chest.

THE END!

(I hope you all enjoy this! I have a goal of completing 5 to 10 fics before the new year. Goodbye, my little strawberries!)

TAGLIST: @spnfanboy777 @meyocoko @sluttyhusband @zamfam4272 @ghostking4m

#male reader #x male reader #male reader imagine #male reader insert #archie andrews #archie andrews x male reader #riverdale fandom #riverdale x male reader #archie andrews x reader #archie andrews x male reader imagine #archie andrews x reader imagine

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yelenasdiary · 19 days

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I want to give the worlds BIGGEST thank you & an even bigger hug to my wonderful, talented, hard working & out of this world amazing friend @tonbelova25 !

This morning the post man knocked on my door with a parcel, a very, very cheeky parcel! & although my birthday is on Monday, I was naughty & couldn’t wait to open it (forgive me!!!)

Inside, I found many amazing goodies! A jar of friendship bracelets because of how big of a swiftie I am 🙈 (each and every braclet was themed with Florence, Yelena & my IG usernames! There was a cute little mug that said tell your pet I said hi, Douglass, Tony & Archie all say hello!! There was snacks! Can’t go wrong with red frogs and mini m&ms! Then there was the Tina from Bobs Burgers Funko! The ADORABLE baby groot fabric! The amazing birthday card, the funny little socks & 2 amazing shirts (one which I will be wearing today)

& then we have this!

Can we please take a moment to appreciate this?! SHE MADE ME A MIDSOMMAR FUNKO!!! This is by far the BEST Dani Funko I’ve ever seen & it was made by Ton 🥹😍 it’s fucking adorable!!

Thank you thank you thank you thank you xmillion!!!

You’re an Angel! & I’m so beyond thankful for you! 💜

#im CRYING

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saphira5 · 9 months

Text

141 x (Platonic) Reader Finale Short Part 2

Everyone in the room looks to the door, y/n shuts the door behind you. Y/n looks at everyone in the room with a smile, but when you get to Kyle you smile even bigger. Y/n then walks up to the Captain, Price rises from his chair and extends his hand to you. Y/n shakes it "Hello, Captain Price, I am Captain y/n y/n/m. But please call me y/n. A pleasure to meet you Captain". Price was a bit shocked but smiles and shakes your hand, "nice to meet you Captain y/n, I am Captain Price. The rest of the 141 stands up and salutes you. Y/n lets go of Price's hands, you look at them and say, "At ease", each member nods and takes a seat. You pull out the chair and sits, y/n sits beside Ghost. Y/n looks at him and smiles, then y/n looks at Kyle who is sitting on the right. "How have you been, honey", Kyle smiles ay you "very good, Archie". You chuckle, y/n hasn't heard that name in a long time, y/n then nods at Kyle, you then look in front of you and smile at soap. Y/n then looks to the captain Price. "Ms. Laswell had asked me to join your team because you'll needed a medic. And I quote, y/n doing an impression of Laswell's voice. "Since the task force was created, they can't go a day without getting hurt and going to the med bay". Soap and Gaz started laughing, price let out a chuckle. The only one that didn't make a sound was Ghost. Laswell had mention him a bit, on how he didn't like Americans or their accents. Y/n wasn't mad but understood, you had gone through the same thing when you were a lieutenant. Y/n didn't like New Orleans accents due a mission that went very wrong. But in time y/n got over it, you won't let one bad apple ruin a enter tree. "I would prefer blowing things up rather than patching people up, but oh well baggers can't be choosers". "BONNIE ME AND YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SO MUCH FUN." Y/n looks to Soap and smiles "tell me how much C4 you got on you". Soap goes into his cargo pant and pulls out one C4 and the detonator. Y/n chuckles, you dig into your cargo pants and pulls out four C4 and a detonator. "You never know, Soap", he begins laughing, you do too. "Alright you to", y/n and Soap look at the captain "don't blow up the base know, I well be showing you around base Captain y/n." Price smiles at you, y/n nods, "Dismissed". Everyone nods and stands up, Soap grabs the C4 and the detonator, y/n does the same. Soap walks quickly to the door and opens it, "mind if I tag along", you look at Soap "of course you can, honey. Y/n looks at Kyle "You coming too sweets", he chuckles "of course, can't let Soap have all the fun". You have Captain Price leading the way, Soap is on your left talking your ear off and on the right Kyle is smiling at you. Y/n couldn't have it any other way, but the only that didn't tag along was Ghost, you well have to give him a lot of one-on-one time.

Backstory for more 141 shorts!!!!!!

#simon riley x reader #john price x reader #captain price x reader #simon ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #john soap mactavish x reader #john mactavish x reader #soap x reader #task force 141 #141 x reader #kyle garrick x reader #gaz x reader

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winter-leftovers · 4 months

Text

Til The End Of Eternity || Chapter twenty: We Need To Talk About Mom’s Paintings (20/?)

(Douxie Casperan x f!reader)

Summary: Y/n is trying to figure her life out but is going to be hard since her brother is the new trollhunter and she is plagued by dreams and feelings she doesn’t understand.

Chapter Summary: Morgana possesses Claire. Douxie and Y/n have a moment. Y/n needs her father.

Word count: 2568

Warnings: we have everything. We have angst, we have comfort, we have some I would say +16 stuff

(Season 3 Episodes 2,3,4,5)

Song?: The Night We Met by Lord Huron and Phoebe Bridgers

Previous - Next

Masterlist

Y/n looked around the room, the once dark and colorless basement was now an art gallery full of colorful paintings of creatures that shouldn’t exist against vibrants backgrounds.

She observed her mother paint a portrait the size of the wall of her ex-boyfriend's troll from with an intensity she had never seen before. She didn’t even know her mother could paint.

“Mom, I packed you lunch!” Jim screamed from the kitchen.

“Down here honey!” Screamed back Barbara without taking her eyes from the painting.

Jim slowly walked down stairs and saw her sister sitting in a stool observing the spectacle.

“What’s going on?” He mouthed.

Y/n shrugged, she was just as confused, with her head she pointed at the big Mr. Strickler’s painting.

Jim’s eyes opened like plates.

“So, what do you think? I call it “Goodbye, Walt” You warned me he was bad news, but I didn’t listen. Then he vanished without a goodbye. What kind of man does that? Hence the horns. They’re symbolic” Barbara proudly showed off her painting.

“Wow, mom. Quite the imagination” Jim turned to Y/n.

“Yeah” Y/n is lost for words. She didn’t know what to do “Now, I know where I got my artistic side is from”

“Aw, thank you sweety” Barbara pinched Y/n’s cheek “First your father, and now him. I swear, if I ever see Walt again…”

“On that note,” Jim nervously chuckled, starting to go upstairs “gotta run”

“Coward” Y/n whispered.

—

“Hello” Y/n announced her arrival at the bookstore.

“Hello, love” Douxie emerged from under the counter mirroring the smile in Y/n’s face “You’re early. I thought you were coming for lunch. We were going to the park”

Y/n walked to Douxie and kissed his cheek.

“Are you kicking me out?” She chuckled against his cheek.

“What?! No?!” He screamed. For a moment, fear creeped on Douxie's spine. Did he make Y/n feel rejected?

“Relax” Y/n rested her head on his shoulders, and patted his chest “I just wanted to see you. Is that such a crime?” It wasn’t a complete lie. Y/n wanted to see Douxie, she always wanted to see him. But today, she needed to get out of her house, stay away from her mother’s art.

“Stop toying with the kid. He only slept two hours” Archie jumped on top of the counter.

“Hi to you too, Arch” Y/n scratched the cat’s chin.

“Yeah, sorry. I’m a little bit on edge. It was a long night. Too many trolls in Arcadia wreaking havoc” Douxie let himself fall on the chair “Do you know what’s up with that?”

Y/n nodded. She doesn’t want to lie to Douxie but if she told him the truth she knew he would want to help and that would open a can of worms that she doesn’t want to deal with just yet.

“No idea” she shook her head “that’s weird” she observed Douxie’s dark eyebags “Hey, why don’t you go lay down until lunch and I stay here?”

“No. No. I’m okay” he straightened himself in the chair, dropping a cup with pens with his elbow.

Y/n and Archie shared a look.

“You’re not” Y/n gently push him from the shoulders of the chair “you’re missing a cat and you didn’t notice it”

“No, Al is…” Douxie started to look everywhere as Y/n guided him to the stairs.

“See? Go to sleep. See you at lunch” Y/n waved until Douxie disappeared into the distance. She turned to Arch “Where’s Al, anyway?”

“Who knows. He said something about a meeting with a duck and then something about a dandelion and tacos” Archie rolled his eyes.

“Don’t laugh at him. Is always important to have connections”

Y/n helped out a few regulars and a few not so regulars during the afternoon. Time moved slowly, the dog outside the bookstore sniffed the tree comically slow until he found a spot, the traffic lights wouldn’t change colors, everything seemed to move so painfully slow. She looked back at Archie to see if he was also affected by this strange phenomenon but he was belly up under a ray of sunshine. She smiled and walked the small store coming back to the spot where Douxie had given her her old book. She couldn’t see it back then but now, with this piece of the puzzle back in its place she could recognise that Douxie had reconstructed her old bookshelf from their time in Camelot.

“Lady Y/n” Hisirdoux shyly knocked on the door.

“Come on in” Y/n answered, her voice almost above a whisper. She was laying on the floor with her back against the bookshelf, her nose buried in a red leather bound book and her bare feet were covered by her faithful friend, Alfred.

“Where…?” Hisirdoux looked around the room until he saw the cat’s brown tail coming from under the bed “Y/n?” He called.

“Mmmh?” She lifted her view from the book, her hair was in a perfect braid but she was still in her nightgown.

“Master M…”

“Y/n?” Morgana pushed the door wide open.

Hisirdoux jumped back like a cat.

“Why aren't you wearing your dress?” The woman grabbed the dress from the bed and ran next to the girl.

“I thought I had time” Y/n looked at Hisirdoux her eyes filling with tears “I…I…”

From the hallway, they could hear the echo of the steps followed by a staff hitting the stone covered floor.

Hisirdoux’s heart fell to his stomach when he saw Y/n’s red eyes.

“Hisirdoux, can you distract him?” Asked Morgana as she prepared the girl’s dress.

Hisirdoux pursed his lips and nodded before running down the hallway.

Y/n smiled while the tears fell as she heard Hisirdoux’s insanes complain about his lack of staff.

“He is nice” Morgana whispered .

Y/n’s cheeks redden as her bracelet, she lowered her head and played with it while Morgana tightened her corset.

The woman chuckled, “He could be a nice friend… Like in the book”

“But…”

“And, don’t…but mater me”

“Y/n?! Y/n?!” Douxie screamed.

Y/n blinked a couple times and came back to the floor of the bookstore. Her knees red from supporting her weight on the floor. She looked around. She doesn’t remember getting to the ground, she doesn’t remember grabbing the book.

“Love?!” Douxie asked, voice laced with desperation.

“Doux? When did you wake up?” Y/n tried to get up but her legs failed her, luckily, Douxie caught her before she could hit the floor.

“A couple minutes ago. What happened?” He guided her to the small couch and crouched in front of her.

“I..I was looking at the books and then…I had a vision?” She frowned.

“A vision?” He repeated.

“From the past…remember the morning after Morgana gave me the anthology?”

Douxie smiled at the memory, that was the beginning of their friendship.

“I was ten and you were nine and deadly afraid of angering your father” he said a little absent minded.

“Yeah…I almost remembered him” she looked at him, her eyes full of tears like that morning.

“You’ll remember him” Douxie’s heart fell to his stomach just like that morning.

Y/n looked deeply into Douxie's hazel eyes, the only eyes that she ever wanted to look at in moments like this and closed the distance kissing him, her hands quickly finding their home amongst his hair. Douxie instantly returned the kiss with the same sweetness but more desperation. Everytime they would touch, he needed to taste every drop of it, even if it was an accidental graze of hands during the day.

His hands lifted her from the couch and her legs quickly snaked around his waist.

“Doux” Y/n panted, holding his cheeks “people can see us”

“I don’t care” he whispered, his eyes full of lust going back and forth between her eyes and her lips.

“Doux…”Y/n whispered. She was shocked. Douxie was a little more shy than that.

“Let’s go upstairs” he said into her ear before biting her earlobe.

“Mmmh” she laughed.

As Douxie’s feet would step each step of the stairwell, Y/n’s heart would pound faster, stronger. She hid her face on Douxie’s neck but the familiar smell did nothing to calm the tremors in her hands, in her torso.

Douxie laid both of them on the couch of the second floor where they would usually nap and started to kiss Y/n’s neck, his hands slowly feeling her stomach up to her sides. Y/n instinctively opened her legs to give him space, her hips moved against his, her hands went to his chest, her body reacted to his but a part of her mind was confused.

“You’re so pretty” Douxie's voice brought her to the present. His shirt was missing, his toned chest exposed for Y/n to see.

“Look who’s talking” she put a hand on his now red chest and pushed him back.

“So pretty” he repeated as he observed her while she sat on top of him.

Y/n kissed him again and again and slowly went down from his mouth, to his chin, to his neck, to the spot under his jaw where she could feel his pulse. Douxie groaned making Y/n smile but it quickly got erased from her face when her hands started to shake again while Douxie took out her shirt leaving her with her bra exposed.

Y/n put her hands on Douxie’s shoulders and moved her hips, maybe if her hands felt him they would remember him.

“Y/n?” Douxie’s hand caressed Y/n cheek “are you alright?”

She looked down at him, at his eyes full of worry and smiled.

“Of course” she kissed him but this time he didn’t return it as passionately as before, this time was sweet, understanding.

With a swift move he was on top of her again and could inspectionate her face more clearly.

“No, you’re not” he furrowed “we don’t have to do this, love” he started to pull back.

“No, I want this” she put her hand on his shoulder “it just…” she felt the blood rush to her cheeks. To Y/n Ambrosius it isn’t a big deal but to Y/n Lake it is “You know…”

But Douxie’s big eyes told her he didn’t know.

“I know that you and I…you know but…Y/n Lake hasn’t” she explained.

“I don’t follow” he whispered.

“You’re gonna make me say it” she whispered to herself “Y/n Lake is still part of me, right?”

He nodded.

“Y/n Lake is a…virgin”

Douxie’s blood drained from his face and came back in a rush.

“Oh. Oh” he sat on his heels “I see”

Y/n sat up, her body warming up from the shyness “I want this”

Douxie chuckled and kissed her cheek.

“Me too but…” he grabbed both cheeks with his hands “this time has to be special too” kissing her nose.

The butterflies ruptured Y/n’s stomach traveling through her body. She nodded, a lovesick smile plastered on her face.

—

“I was falling asleep. Was it necessary to call me sixty five times?” Y/n screamed as she opened Claire’s bedroom door.

Claire was floating in the middle of the room. The boys had tied her up chains that her magic seemed unable to break.

“I’ll wear your spine as my crown, peasants!” Claire screamed in anger.

“That’s a new one” said Jim pointing his bat to Claire.

“Her creativity knows no bounds” added Toby.

Claire screamed, throwing Jim and Toby threw the air with her magic. Y/n was able to stay put on the door. She had been more thrown out by the familiarity of the magic than the magic itself. She took a step forward, her eyes focused on the changed Claire, her voice was different and so was her magic.

“Apologies for my delay” Blinky barged into the room and was able to set the chair back into the ground and with a quick move of a stone set the chains back into place.

The troll explained the why of his delay but Y/n couldn’t hear. She was consumed by the weight in her throat, by the burning in her eyes, something in Claire’s eyes was pulling her to the ground.

“Does the name Morgana mean anything to you?” Jim asked Blinky.

Y/n mouth hung open. The memory of the red haired woman holding her hand through the woods, braiding her hair, teaching her magic, being slayed by a sword, all came back like a stab to the heart. The myth was true. Morgana was alive.

“Morgan Le Fay, Merlin’s apprentice” explained Blinky, scared of naming the monster.

“Like Merlin who made my amulet?” asked Jim

“No” whispered Y/n and took a step back.

“I spit on his name as I spit on his grave” Morgana chuckles “Don’t we, Birdie?” She looked directly at Y/n.

“Sounds like they didn’t get along” Toby hid behind Jim.

Y/n kept walking backwards until her legs hit the bed and sat down, too afraid to make a sound.

“He thinks he can be rid of me? The fool” she laughs and turns to the guys in front of her “I will erase his name and all of his creations”

Y/n looked down at her hands and saw the tears falling down. She wasn’t sure of what she was more afraid of: the ghost in front of her or what the ghost could do to her friends.

She turned to the door and ran. Afraid that the grief and the nostalgia would bend her will. Ran far from Claire’s house, from Douxie’s library, she ran until her feet ached, until her knees gave up and then, she fell to the ground, her hands softening the blow.

A broken sob escaped her throat, her body gave out, falling to the side on top of the grass. She pulled her knees to her chest and prayed that the darkness of the night was enough to hide her from the world.

One last sob abandoned her lips before closing her eyes:

“I want my father”

—

“Good morning” whispered a familiar raspy voice.

Y/n felt a familiar hand caressing her hair. Without opening her eyes she leaned into the touch, she knew that feeling before she was even born. She stretched her hand and grabbed the familiar robe, an old habit she hadn’t shaken.

“Come one, Birdie, open your eyes” the man insisted, moving the final strand of hair from her face.

“No” she clutched the robe tighter and moved closer to the warmth that the man’s body provided.

“Why?” The man chuckled.

“I’m afraid” she cried.

“What?” The man grabbed Y/n and cradled her “Why?”

“I’m afraid you won’t be there when I open my eyes” she grabbed the closest piece of fabric she could feel.

“Oh, Birdie” the man rocked her “Of course I’ll be here”

Y/n slowly opened her eyes and under the light of the sun she saw a man with crystalline blue eyes.

“Father?” She asked before the weight of reality brought her back and made her realize that she was alone and that her father was laying on a tomb waiting to be awakened.

A/n: was that a lot?

-Yes -No

Did you expect the revelation?

-Yes -No -Why would you do that to a child?

Can you tell I have daddy issues by my choice of father?

-Yes -Yes

#tales of arcadia #douxie x reader #douxie #toa #trollhunters #hisirdoux casperan #hisirdoux x reader #my writing #Til The End Of Eternity

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justanamesstuff · 8 months

Text

Okay, another blurb… (me: multiple blurbs one day; also me: *doesn’t upload a single thing for weeks/months* lol)

So, I’ve been thinking about the kids —Amelia and Arthur— obsessed with the idea of having a little sister. But before that they were stunned by the idea of baby kicking Y/n from the inside (lol). Closer to Ruth’s arrival, Amelia was 6 and Arthur 4…they love each other but as any couple of siblings they bicker a lot haha.

One day, Y/n is very exhausted and goes to take a nap on her bed. Matty tried his best keeping the kids entertained, busy, so they let her rest but up to a moment they want mommy. The kids father couldn’t complain because he did want to see Y/n too (simp).

Matty convinced them with the idea of making her a tea and crackers, so they helped him.

Once everything is ready, Arthur took the plate and Amelia the steaming mug. Matty checked first if Y/n was awake, making them wait at the door.

Matty took a peak first, watching how Y/n’s face was illuminated by the light coming from her phone screen. Y/n boyfriend pushed his entire body inside, closing the door behind him taking her attention.

“Hey.”

“Hi, my love.” Matty took a sit beside her on the bed, while she left her phone closer on the side table. “How are you feeling?”

“Better.” Y/n lifted her hand towards his forehead showing a slight frown. “Where are the kids?” She worried about.

“Outside.” Matty said. Y/n was showing a lot of confusion so he clarified, “they made you tea with crackers.”

“Oh my god…” she brought a hand towards her chest. “Did you make them wait outside?!” Y/n scolded him.

“I wanted to check first how you were doin’, alright?” Matty explained. “We had a chat today and they’re a bit worried something might happened to mommy.” His words made her pout and Matty leaned forwards kissing it away.

“Please bring them in.”

Matty did as she told him and the kids walked slowly into the room. Y/n’s heart melting seeing her babies so worried.

“Hello.”

A chorus of hello’s falling from their lips filled the room.

“That’s for me?” She asked them, pushing her body up so she could rest her back into the headboard of the big bed. The kids moved their faces saying yes.

“Get in bed with mommy, guys.” Matty let them know they could, taking the mug and the plate from their hands.

Arthur took place by Y/n’s right side and Mel pushed her body closer towards the left. Y/n rounded them with her arms.

“What’s wrong, my loves?” She asked them.

Arthur could begin to speak his worry thoughts, so Amelia helped as the big sister.

“I’m scared.”

“Why?”

“That something might happen you.” Amelia said.

Y/n moved her head looking at Arthur, asking, “Are you scared too, Archie?” and he nodded.

Y/n couldn’t help to look first at Matty before speaking again. “My loves?” She asked and they replied with a quiet “yes” so she continued, “I’m okay, I’m very tired because the baby is making me feel tired but I promise nothing is going to happen to me, okay?”

“Ask mommy what you asked me earlier.” Matty encouraged them.

Y/n gave them the space and time, being Arthur the one asking this time, “Does it hurts?”

“What, baby?”

“When the baby pushes…”

“Not really.”

Amelia looked at her mother with a puzzled look, “But she’s pushing from the inside.” Which made their parents to chuckled.

“Well, yes…but it doesn’t hurt baby. Here, give me your hand.” Y/n took Amelia’s hand softly, under the attention of both Arthur and Matty. Y/n pushed with her fingers agains Amelia’s palm. “It’s similar to this sensation. She’s just moving around and stretching.”

Mel took her hand away, cringing, “Feels weird.”

“The first time is weird. I’m used to it now. You two kicked a lot too.”

“Did I?”

“She just said both of us.” Amelia looked at her brother, who showed her his tongue mocking her sister.

Y/n took the opportunity to look at Matty who was admiring his little family even when the bickering between the kids was escalating slowly. Their family was everything he needed and welcoming a new baby into it made his heart swelled.

#don’t worry played when I was writing this #I’ll shut up now #I promise haha #all I need #matty healy fic

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generalallxsanjishipper · 2 months

Text

Some incorrect\extremely correct quotes for my EXTREMELY FAR AWAY IN THE FUTURE ADP FIC (and in part in TIALAMYDK LMAO)

***

Alice *after entering Douxie's mind for several minutes, on the floor*: Oh, wow. Your brain is a disaster

Douxie *also on the floor*: Yeah, I know

Alice : Ever thought about doing drugs?

——

Zoe: Casperan.

Douxie: Ashildr.

Zoe: Clumsy dumbass.

Douxie: Angry Chiwawa.

Claire: *confused* What are they doing?

Archie: Insulting contest.

Claire: Ah.

Zoe: Old Man.

Douxie: Dwarf.

Zoe: Flat ass.

Douxie: Useless Half Lesbian

Zoe: Knucklehead

Douxie: Mosquito

Zoe: Peter Pan

Douxie: *Suddenly grinning* Pinky pie.

Zoe: EXCUSE ME?

Douxie: HA! *Claps hands with a smug face* I WON!

Zoe: HOW DID YOU JUST CALL ME?! I'M GONNA FUCKING END YOU!

Alice: Now, now…

——

Douxie: Hello, my name is Failure, and you're watching my life crumble into pieces.

Douxie: *waves his fingers and sings like he is in a Disney Channel intro*

——

Simon: Why are you on fire?

Douxie: This is just how my day is going.

——

Douxie: Everybody shut up, please! I'm thinking.

Zoe, patting him on the back: Well, don’t think too hard. I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.

Douxie: Oh, for the bloody sake, Ashildr!

——

Jim: I’m here for the cult stuff.

Alice: How did you find us?

Jim: I saw your ad on craigslist.

——

Alice: To be honest, I'm kinda pissed that I'm not asleep in bed next to the love of my life in a cottage with no obligations other than watering my vegetable garden.

——

Archie, looking at Douxie, Alice, Simon and Zoe: Okay, so I need to become a therapist faster.

——

Simon, on the phone: Oh, hey man… Sorry for accusing you of murder last week.

——

Alice: Someone take me to art museums and make out with me.

Zoe: But they said not to touch the masterpieces.

Alice: Well somebody's got to pin the artwork to the wall.

Douxie, on a mic that he brought by himself: This is Douxie, those idiots are fucking around in the East wing again.

Douxie:*drops the mic on the floor and leaves, muttering about being a third wheel*

——

Zoe: Mom liked to say ‘you can be part of the problem or part of the solution,’ but I happen to believe you can be both.

——

Jim: Who's in charge here?

Zoe, shrugging: Usually whoever yells the loudest. So, me.

——

Barbara, seeing both Douxie and Alice on wheelchairs: I hope you have an explanation for this.

Alice: We have three, actually! :D

Douxie: Pick your favorite.

——

Alice: *venting endlessly to Simon about her week*

Simon, every once in a while: *in a monotone* Wow, that is so wild.

——

Alice: Yeah, well I've never died so how do I know that Gods or... God are real.

Nari:*appears*

Alice: WHAT THE FLIP

Athena:*appears too*

Alice:*looses her flipping mind*

——

Zoe, to Claire: Well, one of us has to be wrong and it’s not going to be me.

Claire:

Claire: Yes, it's you, actually.

——

Alice, *talking about Zoe*: She's the girl of my dreams!

Douxie: You say to most of the girls that they are the girl of your dreams.

Alice: I have a lot of dreams.

——

Douxie: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be my autopsy.

——

Simon: Sorry I can’t be emotionally vulnerable with you, it'd ruin the mystery.

——

Zoe, *talking about one of her first meeting with Douxie*: And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife several times.

Jim: You mean you stabbed him?

Zoe: He ran into my knife.

Douxie: She ran into my knife, too.

——

Zoe: I don’t even have time to tell you how wrong you are.

Jim: Okay?

Zoe: …

Zoe: Actually it’s gonna bug me if I don’t, so...

——

*Zoe and Alice are texting*

Zoe: Your ass is like…

Zoe: Spacious

Alice: WHAT

Zoe: Sorry, I didn’t want to say fat because it might trigger your ED

——

Bastard number 1:*sarcastically, while leaving* I hope you all make it to adulthood.

Jim: That’s... a great prayer.

Simon: A needed one.

Douxie: A needed one indeed.

——

Simon: I will send my army to attack!

Simon: *makes roaring noises*

Simon: *releases a dumpster of raccoons*

Jim, next to his Vespa: WHOA

Jim: THEY WERE YOURS????

——

Zoe, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it-

Douxie, whispering: Should we call the exorcist?

Alice, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick.

Simon, appalled, but looking apathetic: Call the exorcist.

——

Zoe: Alice and I are no longer dating.

Alice: Zoe, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.

——

Zoe: Hey, quick question. How petty am I allowed to be?

——

Alice: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?

Alice: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies.

Toby: Socks are Feetie Heaties.

Jim: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties.

Douxie: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies.

Claire: Stamps are Lickie Stickies.

Zoe: I hate you guys so much.

——

Alice, looking through their clothes: Has anyone seen my top?

Simon, grabbing his mint gums without looking at her: Zoe's in the kitchen.

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the-sinful-voice-witch · 2 years

Text

Here I am, I'm going to talk about one of the most wholesome potential sibling relationships in my opinion along with Shadow and Rouge 🥰🥰🥰:

Amy Rose 🌹 and Knuckles the echidna 🍇:

This 2 got really deep inside my heart as a really sweet brother and little sister relationship and unlike with Shadow and Rouge that despite consider them completely as siblings (big sis and little brother in that case, even with Shadow being 50 he is mentally 15 and Rouge is the one in the big sis role after all XD) i don't mind read and see fanart or fanfictions of them being a couple but for Knuckles and Amy is physically impossible to me 😂😂 i simply can't, feels so wrongly incestuos to me, and now my points:

1. First of all I just love that they have matching designs and in addition they both match Sonic's shoes 🤣🤣🤣 what do I mean? You see Amy first appearance had the same hairstyle as Sonic but the modern look she has her hair down like knuckles but shorter and also she wears red decorated with white like knuckles is completely red with a white waning moon in his chest that it's similar to the white collar of Amy's dress. This just makes me see them more intensely as siblings due that Amy's modern looks makes her looks like him.

2. Power characters: Amy in my pov should be seen as a power like character if she isn't seen as one already, i mean... She uses a damn huge hammer bigger than her head to fight, this shouldn't be even questioned. I really hated how in Sonic x her skill with the hammer was over all used as a funny gag of: ow look that crazy mad stalker whiny girl swinging a hammer like a psycho because she got mad sonic isn't paying attention to her how scary....🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 I like the scary woman with a weapon gag but no If that mean making her look childish and obnoxious, and of course she wasn't allowed to fight big battles 😡😡, her childish personality in that show didn't make enjoyable her relationship with knuckles... Well sometimes, when she was normal and teased him but damn it that show didn't make her justice 😑😑.

Fortunaly things change with time and her current portrayal is a lot better! Starting with her classic self:

Come on, this was totally on purpose! SEGA sees them as siblings too!!! And look at her!! Smashing things with Knuckles YASSSS POWER SIBLINGS 😁😁😁 they are family your honor.

Also her love for boxing 🥊🥊 hello?

Whoever draw this, bless you. And you're so right 👌👌👌👌👌 ITS CANON, SHE LIKES BOXING another thing in common with Knuckles onichan 🧐🧐🧐 and recently and more important:

HE. FUCKING. TRUSTED. HER. THE. MASTER. EMERALD. 👌👌👌😖😖😖😖 , Of course he would trust that task to his worthy warrior little sister.

3. Dynamic: i can't say I'm satisfied with the portrayal of their relationship in the shows they appear together, Sonic X and Sonic Boom in one Amy was childish and obnoxious and in the other she treats Knuckles too condescending and critical of his lack of intelligence 😔😔 and no sorry no... With Sonic and Tails they manage to make it... Fun but with Amy is just mean... AND AMY SHOULDN'T BE MEAN! (Also they fucking flirt in the show! Joke or not Joke is a BIG NO🥲🥲)

I HATE THIS!!!

I'll talk about Sonic Boom another time... Fortunaly Archie fed me with what I needed and gifted us with this:

Amy being what she's meant to be: supportive, sweet and affectionate and I love his protectiveness with her 😭😭😭😭😭👌👌👌👌

Final thoughs... Wouldn't it be marvelous if Knuckles was like a protective big bro who doesn't approve any potential sister boyfriend?😏😏😏

Anyway I need more of this 2, in a way when they are separated from Sonic and Tails... They are just like Sonic and tails 🤣🤣🤣 i mean isn't Tails like a little brother to sonic?🤔😉

So SEGA please be kind and feed us with more POWER SIBLINGS scenes, wherever you want, videogame, comic, tv show I'll take anything.

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic #sonic idw #sonic movie 2 #amy rose #sonamy #knuckles the echidna #sonic prime #sonic frontiers #rouge the bat #love post

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phatm0th · 3 months

Text

Archie the Painslut

18+

heyy so i recently started the show The Great on hulu and even though i haven’t finished it yet (not even on season three yet) i really wanted to write about Archie. This was meant to be much shorter but i kept coming up with new ideas and it snowballed into this.

this is a plus size reader fic because im plus size and i say there aren’t enough of those out there. this is like, the second fic ive ever shared with the first one being on ao3. (i’ll post this one on ao3 soon) i feel like it could’ve been better but im still quite happy with the results. hope you enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it!

tags: plus size!reader, priest kink, femdom, overstimulation, oral sex, nuns, riding, slapping, choking

You were enjoying your gig as a nun in the empress’s court so far. A month prior, Russia’s new ruler sent out a pamphlet encouraging women to join the church. Other parts of the world required quite a bit of work for a woman to become a nun, but this was Russia. You jumped at the opportunity, not wanting to be married off to one of the men in your village. All you had was a brief interview with Catherine The Great herself and secured your position as a nun. You truly enjoyed it, too. Food was nice, you had made a few friends, and it was quite a simple job. Celibacy got a little difficult, but self pleasure always helped. There was one thing though, one man, rather, that annoyed you to your core.

Well, most men of the court annoyed you, always either undressing you with their eyes or making jokes about your size. This particular man annoyed you in another way, though. Archie, the patriarch of Russia, wanted absolutely nothing to do with you. He regularly interacted with other members of the clergy, but you might as well have been invisible to him. He seemed pretty high strung the first time you met him. He offered you a curt, “Hello, pleasure to serve the lord with you,” or something, and not much else. When you passed in the halls, he looked straight ahead. If there was a risk of brushing up against you, he would walk in the opposite direction. There were plenty of people in the court that didn’t interact with you and you didn’t give a shit. The truth was, you really, really wanted him.

One night, at a party, you saw your friend, Marial, drinking and speaking with someone you couldn’t see. She saw you walking towards her and beckoned you forward, smiling. “There’s my favorite nun! Are you enjoying yourself?” she greeted. You nodded, slightly tipsy. Then you noticed, directly to Marial’s left was a stone cold sober Archie. “Oh. Hello Archie,” you mumbled. He stood up abruptly, “Hello. Must go,” he said, then quickly walked off. You sighed heavily, and plopped down onto the spot he was sitting. “What’s his fucking problem with me? You know, he’s barely said a word to me since I got here!” you slurred. Marial smirked and asked, “Is it not obvious?” She paused and stared at you as if waiting for you to give her your best guess. You lifted your shoulders in confusion. “He wants to fuck you!” she said with a laugh. “Very funny jape, Marial,” you lightly elbowed her. Her face became as serious as you had ever seen it. “I’m serious! And it is quite fucking obvious,” she gestured with her hand holding a drink to Archie, stood in a dark corner by himself, staring at you intensely. You locked eyes for a brief moment then he left his corner, disappearing into the crowd of drunk nobles.

Marial confided one other thing in you regarding Archie before the party ended. That being, he was very easy to tempt. He was slipping into his “old ways”, she said. And the only way he prevented himself from fucking his way through 70% of the court was self-flagellation. With that information, you hatched a plan.

Your plan commenced the very next morning and you woke much earlier than usual, hoping to catch him before the court grounds filled with people. On some mornings, Archie would have his too small breakfast in the garden on a bench. You managed to get your hands on an especially juicy peach, and you followed Archie to his place in the garden, careful to not be discovered. You waited a few moments for him to get comfortable and take a few bites of his food. “Beautiful day, Archie!” you said as you walked towards him. He choked on a mouthful of slightly burnt and very under-seasoned eggs. He swallowed thickly, trying to regain his composure. “Yes. As all things made by God are. Must you be so… energetic?” the irritation in his voice was apparent, but you didn’t miss the way his eyes drank you in, looking up and down your curvaceous form. You brought one arm up under your breasts, lifting them in a way you hoped was subtle but still seductive. You rested the other arm on top of that and brought the juicy peach to your lips.

“Do you like peaches, Archie?”

Before he could reply, you took a large bite of it, sighing in satisfaction as if it was the best peach you’d ever eaten. (it was) A bit of juice from it ran down your chin and onto your large breasts, staining your habit. Archie averted his eyes from your body, focused entirely on his food. You tossed the peach aside. “Oh, I have to do something about the mess I made,” you said, feigning concern. “Enjoy your morning!” You walked off, swaying your hips much more than necessary.

Phase two of your plan was to occur that afternoon. You watched Archie’s every move for the second time that day, and found yourself lying in wait like a predator hunting its prey. You stuck your head out of an empty room watching Archie walk down the hallway with one of his notebooks in hand. You waited until he got close enough and rushed right into him, “accidentally” knocking his notebook out of his hand. Several sheets of paper spilled out, one landing right under an end table next to the both of you. “I’m so sorry, Archie! Let me get that for you!” You got down on your hands and knees and arched your back, sticking your ass out as you reached under the table. You collected all the papers that had fallen around his feet and picked those up too, then presented them to him, still on your knees and staring up at him through your eyelashes. He shuddered quite violently and let out a harsh breath. Without a word, he snatched the papers from you and quickly walked off.

The third and final phase of your plan was that same evening. Catherine had planned a celebratory dinner for one successful month of introducing nuns in her court. You got there as early as possible, securing your seat right next to Archie. Before dinner began, Archie said a prayer to bless the food and you looked up at him from your seat, squeezing your thick thighs together. It was both meant to tease him and provide yourself with some much needed relief. You weren’t entirely sure if your plan would even work, but just the thought of finally fucking him was enough to make you wet and needy. He noticed and began stumbling over his words, clearing his throat. He managed to get through it though, and sat back down. A few minutes into the dinner, you rubbed your leg against Archie, lifting his robes slightly. He stopped eating and looked at you with a pathetic look in his eyes. He opened his mouth shakily but before he could say anything you stood up quickly and excused yourself from the table. Nobody seemed to give a fuck as everyone continued eating and having their hushed conversations. The only one that seemed to notice you spoke at all was Marial, giving you a knowing look.

You made your way to a completely empty room pretending to look busy with a vase of flowers. You were counting on Archie following you into it, but after a few minutes of waiting, you were beginning to believe he wouldn’t show. Maybe you should’ve explicitly said what you wanted. Maybe he just wasn’t attracted to you. Maybe he just really wanted to stay celibate. As your mind wandered, you didn’t notice the door close behind you.

You felt his presence when he was just a few inches behind you. His hands rested on your shoulders then slowly moved them to your tits as he started kneading them through your habit. “I want to fuck you,” he whispered harshly. Any other man would’ve gotten stabbed right in his cock for such a bold move but a wave of heat overtook you as you felt his breath hot against your ear. He sank his long fingers into your thick waist and gripped you roughly. You hoped it would bruise.

“Fucking finally, Archie.” You grabbed his forearms and ground your wide hips back onto his clothed, impossibly hard cock.

He started licking your ear and panting like a fucking dog. But before you could really get started you heard the empress call his name, likely wondering why he had disappeared from the dinner.

His perfect hands stopped groping you and he gasped as if waking from a trance. “This cannot happen!” he hissed, quickly prying himself from you. “Disgusting!” Before you could reply, he left you in the empty room. You weren’t sure if he was disgusted with himself or with you.

The next day was slow. You slept past breakfast and when you finally emerged from the bedroom you shared with another nun, the first thing you heard was some guard joking about you finally going on a diet. Any other day you would’ve had a comeback. Or a slap. Nothing today, though. You couldn’t even give him a dirty look. You just walked off.

You roamed the grounds, trying to find something to keep yourself busy but you to no avail. Archie found you disgusting. You faced rejection before but nothing ever stung this badly. Maybe it was because you had your hopes up this time? Marial herself told you how he felt about you, and she knew him better than anyone else did. Marial saw you walking alone, eyes downcast. She looked concerned as she walked towards you. You noticed and quickly walked off randomly turning corners of the palace until you believed you lost her.

You stood still, trying to catch your breath when you heard something strange. A shaky groan, muffled by the door you were standing in front of. Archie’s door. You held your breath and listened hard, thinking it might’ve been a groan of pain. He panted heavily, and let out a strained exhale of your name. You acted on impulse and discreetly opened the door.

There sat Archie at his desk, chair turned to the side so he could stretch out his legs. Cock in one hand, and a peach with one bite taken out of it in the other. He didn’t even notice you when he brought the peach to his mouth, licking into it as if it were a wet cunt. You thought he must’ve swiped it right after you tossed it yesterday.

A wave of heat overtook you and you slammed the door behind you and locked it. “I thought you found me disgusting,” you said, voice even. Archie jumped violently, but notably did not let go of himself. He looked at you guiltily and gave his cock a tight squeeze. His chest heaved as he worked his mouth, trying to speak. “It - it was not you I was disgusted with. It was me. I should not give in to my urges so easily, but every time I am around you I cannot control myself!” his voice rose on that last sentence as he broke away from your gaze, staring at the floor.

“Archie…” You didn’t know what to say. You decided instead that words wouldn’t be very effective anyway and decided to walk towards him. Your breasts heaved as you tried to even your breathing. You had never been this horny before, not even yesterday when you had Archie pressed against you. Before you realized it, you were looming directly above him, watching him subtly pulse his fist on his cock. Archie said, “As the patriarch, I really should not-“ SMACK. He let out a startled noise as your hand made a quickly brightening red mark on his face.

He looked up at you, panting, mouth agape as he wrenched his hand away from his cock. He dug his fingertips into the arms of his chair and furrowed his brow. You were worried you had taken it too far before he shot up out of his seat and pushed you backwards against the nearest wall. He gave you no time to speak - not that you were complaining - as he pressed his lips against yours. His tongue wormed its way into your mouth and you savored the taste of each other. You felt one of his long legs jam its way in between your thick thighs. He ground his leg onto your clothed pussy, feeling your wetness through three layers of clothing. His hands roamed every inch of you he could reach without breaking away from the kiss, as if he was trying to commit your shape to memory. You buried a fist in his long hair, yanking his head away from yours. He moaned harshly and dropped to his knees rather violently. His hands caressed your calves as he inched his nose closer and closer to your heat. He buried his face between your thighs, almost suffocating himself as he sniffed you through the thick fabric of your habit.

You pushed his head back and lifted the hem of the habit to your mouth, unwilling to wait another second. He gasped harshly and shook as he finally got a full view of what he had been fantasizing about for weeks. He lunged forward and sank his fingers into your plush thighs, trying to pull them apart so he could have his fill. He kissed your mons first, savoring the feel of the hair against his lips. He pushed his head even further, licking and biting at your already wet inner thighs like a man starved. You supposed he was starved in that regard. As much as you enjoyed his exploration of your lower half, he wasn’t licking where you needed it the most, and you were starting to get desperate. You decided to take matters into your own hands - there’d be time for his perverted licking and sniffing another day. “Archie!” you said with the fabric still clenched between your teeth. You roughly grabbed his hair and angled his head exactly where you wanted it. His mouth was right against your clit and he immediately put it to good use, licking one slow stripe along the sensitive bundle of nerves.

You heaved a breath of relief as he finally, finally started giving you what you needed. Archie moaned as he sucked your clit, the vibrations only doubling your pleasure. “It feels so good to finally give in, right Archie?” He pulled back to reply but you roughly shoved his face back where it belonged. He made a sound between a gasp and a whimper before going right back to servicing you. He moved his tongue from your clit to your pussy. His nose bumped your clit each time he moved his head, making you feel better than you thought possible. Your hips bucked, and you curled your fingers in his hair once again, trying to ground yourself.

After a bit of tonguefucking you, he replaced his tongue with one of his long, perfect fingers, and his mouth took its rightful place against your clit yet again. Pleasure shot through you like lightning as you felt his finger brush up against something you hadn’t known was there before. His assault on your gspot in combination with his relentless sucking of your clit made you dizzy almost. The sight of him almost made you cum. On his knees, one hand wrapped around his long cock and the other pleasuring you. His eyes were closed in bliss as he devoured you. You gripped his hair, forcing his head still as you ground your hips into his face. His eyes shot open and met yours. They were watery, and dilated. He somehow looked completely serene, but enraptured at the same time.

You had seen that look only once before. You followed him into the woods one day and watched him eat a berry. You watched him talk to God, watched him partake in the purest, most sacred form of worship he knew.

That was it. Once the realization dawned on you, you were cumming all over his hand and face before you knew it. You were loud and shaky, the hem of the robes shoved in your mouth did very little to muffle your voice. You pulled his hair so hard he was sure to have a headache in a few hours. He let out a few short grunts himself, eyes rolled into the back of his head and the hand on his cock finally stilled.

You let go of his hair and managed to relax the tense muscles in your body. He stood up on shaky legs, eyes wide as he watched you collect yourself. When your vision finally cleared you saw that he was still hard. “What the fuck?” you asked, panting. “I still want to fuck you. It took a great deal of effort to not cum just then but I managed to stave it off. I wanted to save it for something special.” You were still buzzing with oversensitivity, but you couldn’t deny that you wanted to fuck him too.

You both made your way into his more than humble bedroom and you were finally able to take off your now dirty clothes. You faced each other, just admiring each other’s bodies for a few moments. You were finally able to take a good look at his cock. It was long and leaky, protruding around 7.5 inches from his skinny frame. Archie himself looked almost frightening. His head was tilted slightly downward, pupils blown, chest heaving from excitement. (?) He wore a wide grin as he drank you in, eyes lingering on your tits. You almost wanted to ask him if he was okay, but then he embraced you, jamming his tongue in your mouth and groping you yet again. He broke the kiss just as fast as he started it, saying, “I want you on top. Please.”

Archie was much taller than you, but you weren’t sure how strong he was. What if you hurt him?

Oh. Right.

You lightly pushed his chest, encouraging him to get on his bed. He quickly sat on the bed and you followed, climbing into his lap. You stood on your knees, slightly towering over him as you leaned down to kiss him again. “Sit,” he all but demanded. You could not deny him. And you were eager to see his reaction to your weight on top of him.

You sat in his lap, finally resting your weight on top of him in the way he’d been so eager for since he first laid eyes on you. Well, not quite. He wanted you on his face, but he was too eager to fuck you, so this would have to do. He placed his hands on your ass, kneading the cheeks apart, admiring your softness. You moaned and ground down onto his cock impatiently. Archie wouldn’t budge, too focused on kissing you and feeling you up. You lifted your hips, much to his chagrin, to guide his cock inside your eager cunt yourself. He let out a harsh exhale as if he had been punched in the gut. You breathed shakily, surprised at yourself for taking all of him at once like that.

Archie buried his face into your neck, whimpering. You didn’t move just yet, trying to adjust to the stretch of him. You occasionally clenched, liking the effect it had on a desperate Archie. You were ready to move after a bit, and you lifted your hips just once to test the waters, pulling him out almost completely before slamming back down onto his lap. You leaned back so you could get a good look at his face as you began grinding yourself on his cock. He was biting his bottom lip so hard he drew a bit of blood. His eyes rolled back in his head as shaky, high-pitched noises escaped him.

“Archie,” you said, an idea forming. He didn’t notice. “Archie.” you said again. Your hips stilled, and that seemed to rouse him from whatever high he was chasing, but then you slapped him. Hard. To make sure he was paying attention. You felt him throb inside you. “What?” he asked, confused as to why you had stopped moving, but grateful for the slap. “Do you want me to hurt you?” you asked, hand still lingering on his cheek. He throbbed again. “Yes. I will not last long.” Neither would you. You slapped him again, enjoying it almost as much as he was. “Lay down then,” you said as you rose off him.

He guided himself back into your wet heat as he laid flat on his back. His hands made their way to your lower back as you immediately began riding him again. You wanted to slap him again but decided instead to curl your fingers into his hair, pulling his head back onto the under-stuffed pillow it rested on. “Ooooh,” he moaned weakly, enjoying the dull burn in his scalp. “Open your mouth,” you demanded. He obeyed, sticking his tongue out for good measure. You spat in his mouth and he swallowed gratefully. You moved both of your hands to his chest and scraped your nails across it. “Yes!” Archie shouted. You pinched his nipples roughly, twisting and flicking them. Archie’s legs shook and he dug his nails into your lower back as he moaned. You liked the sting of it more than you thought you would, and your orgasm was approaching quickly.

You decided you wanted him to cum first. You rose your hips and slammed them down harder than necessary, feeling his balls and thighs slap against your ass loudly. He gasped, startled by the change in pace. “Close!” he shouted. Your right hand shot to his neck, closing off his airflow as you moved at a punishing pace. All Archie could manage like this was “c- c- c-“ You assumed he was trying to say “cumming,” as his entire body became stiff. You felt him pulse inside you a few times, each pulse followed by a spurt of cum.

Your hand around his neck loosened. You stopped moving your hips. He gasped for breath, savoring every bit of air that made it into his lungs. After he was breathing normally, you angled your hips so that his cock would hit your gspot on each stroke, and began riding him again at your relentless pace. The air he had just gotten back was knocked out of his lungs as he gasped from oversensitivity. You watched him writhe, unsure if he wanted to get away from you or drive himself even deeper. High, undignified noises left his mouth as you overstimulated him. Your orgasm hit you suddenly, and began grinding into him again, enjoying the feel of his pubic bone grinding against your clit. He laughed madly as he watched you take your pleasure from him, uncaring of his pain.

“Fuck,” you whimpered as you collapsed next to him. You were both sweaty and in need of baths, but that could wait until later. You stared at the ceiling, wondering what to do next in regard to Archie. You turned to face him and saw that he was staring at you intensely as if he saw God himself, and all his infinite love and wisdom, in you.

#the great hulu #the great #priest kink #plus size reader #fat reader #smut #archie the great #fanfic #body worship

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