#seagulls are a menace to society | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jungle-angel · 10 months

Text

Menaces to Society (Rhett Abbott x Reader)

Summary: You thought your boys were feral as children......wait until they turn twenty one

Warnings: Perry slander, Tillerson slander, taking a leak on somebody’s truck for revenge, drunken shenanigans etc.

Tagging: @sebsxphia @lewmagoo @bradleybeachbabe @nobody7102 @creativitybeware @rhettabbotts

The group of boys had all gathered at the Handsome Gambler, crowding around the bar as their favorite music blasted from the jukebox in the corner. After weeks spent on midterms and constant studying, the boys of the Delta Tau Epsilon Fraternity were more than happy to be blowing of steam, among them, Tatum and Tanner Abbott and Colt Tillerson.

“CHUG IT!!!! CHUG IT!!!! CHUG IT!!!” the boys chanted as they lifted Tanner up by his legs for the kegstand challenge.

Tanner took in as much as he could, the bar owner timing him as his frat brothers cheered him on. Finally, he swallowed the last little bit before Jimmy Peterson, the bar owner, clocked him in and put his time record up on the chalkboard.

“You my man,” Tate Dutton said, clapping a hand on Tanner’s shoulder. “Are the fucking kegstand CHAMP!”

Tanner and the other frat brothers cheered loudly as Bo Andreola, one of the football players, lifted him up onto his broad, husky shoulders. Around 1:30, Jimmy announced it was closing time, only to be cued by the playing of Luke Bryan’s “Time To Take My Drunk Ass Home”, the boys and all the bar patrons singing along like a bunch of screeching seagulls.

Out of the bar they stumbled, Tatum, Tanner, Colt, Tate and Jake Dutton, Joey Wheeler and a few others heading to the parking lot. “Alright fuckers,” Tatum slurred. “Let’s get us home, I’m drivin.”

“Uh the fuck you are!” Danny Gonzales told him. “You’re drunker’n I am. I’ll call my brother.”

Danny luckily had his brother, Antonio, on speed dial. Antonio never really drank and thus had become the designated driver along with three others. Unfortunately for them, Antonio was across town and wouldn’t be able to pick them up for at least a half hour.

They wandered up and down the streets, looking for a place to wait it out, when they spied two familiar vehicles parked on the curb. “Oh shit,” Tatum muttered after letting out a rather rude burp.

“Wassup?” Joey asked him.

“You know who’s trucks those are, right?”

“Aw shit,” Joey answered when he came to the realization. “That’s Trevor and Perry’s trucks.”

“What are those fuckin assholes doin in our neck of the woods?” Jake questioned.

“Probably doin each other in an alley somewhere,” Tate chuckled.

Tatum and Tanner gave each other a look as soon as an evil little germ of a thought began to bloom in the back of their heads. Even Colt could tell what they were thinking without even saying a word. “You know what we gotta do right?” Tatum said.

“Better do it now while we’re loaded,” Tanner told him.

Tatum readily instructed for him, Tanner and Colt to take Trevor’s truck while the others could have at Perry’s. “Alright boys,” Tatum announced. “This one’s for Dad.”

All at once the boys unzipped their flies and relieved themselves right there on the horrible men’s dirt spattered trucks, laughing the whole entire time. Too bad Jaime’s car hadn’t been nearby. Tate, Jake and Joey would have absolutely loved the thought of taking that one on as well. Bo and Danny held up their phones, taking a video of the drunken frat boys for later. It wasn’t long either before they were taking photos of their little graffitied creation, the words “Fuck you Perry” and “Fuck you Trevor” having been inscribed in the dirt with their own streams while the boys pointed at it and made stupid faces or stupid poses with it.

The sudden blurt of police sirens and the flash of lights made them all straighten right up. Sheriff Joy hopped out onto the curb and shut the doors to the cruiser, sighing and laughing all at once when she saw the culprits.

“Oh God, not you idiots again,” she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“HEY AUNT JOY!!!!!!” Tatum and Tanner greeted loudly and happily.

**************

“Rhett can you get the door?!” you called from upstairs.

Rhett groaned and rose from the couch, straightening his reader glasses on his nose before making his way to the door. When he opened it, he was a little less than pleased to find Joy on the porch.

“Hey Rhett,” she greeted. “I just picked up your little miscreants outside the bar and came to drop them off.”

“Oh God, what’d they do now?” Rhett groaned.

“Check their phones, I guarantee you there’s photos,” Joy laughed before heading back to the cruiser.

“Oh damnit,” Rhett muttered. “Darlin, ya’ll better come down here, it happened again!”

***************

The boys were absolutely silent as Rhett scrolled through Tatum’s phone and his camera roll, his face contorting into confused and wide-eyed expressions every so often.

“So let me get this straight,” Rhett said, breaking the long, pregnant pause that had come over the kitchen. “You idiots were loaded beyond all human reasoning, were waiting for a ride home and decided to take a leak on a vehicle?”

Tatum burped again. “Yep.”

Rhett bit his lip, trying hard not to laugh, looking at you as if you’d break first. “Alright, you jackasses go upstairs and make yourselves cozy, I’ll discuss this with your mother.”

The boys all stumbled up the stairs, trying their best not to wake Amy and Jeff’s baby who had just fallen asleep in yours and Rhett’s room. “Are they in trouble?” you asked him.

“I’ll be nice and let’em off the hook this time,” Rhett chuckled. “Tomorrow when they’re all hungover is a completely different story.”

#rhett abbott #rhett abbott x reader #amy abbott #tate dutton #perry abbott #billy tillerson #outer range #yellowstone

116 notes · View notes

rubydoowhereru · 8 months

Note

Chelsea and Ruby headcanons!

Chelsea has a fear of thunderstorms and would hide under something (Ruby's desk) to avoid getting struck by lightning and because of trauma. Also it's very dangerous for Mermaid's to swim in stormy weather.

Mermaid's are probably the biological cousins to cat's and it shows that Chelsea sleeps in odd catlike poses, purrs and does the whole sad puppy/kitten eyes to get what she wants. Also I think I remember cats having scent glands so Chelsea has one and is very territorial towards other potential rivals.

Chelsea digs around to look for seashells in the ocean.... No reason btw, she just does it.

Chelsea would kill a sea creature and bring it to Ruby, like all cats usually do. (Chelsea: Behold! Your dinner has arrived! Ruby: Aaaah! I'm a vegetarian! Chelsea: aww! )

Ruby is the biggest theorist to ever exist in Oceanside and it shows! She watches a simple show and goes into in-depth of it's lore and everything.

Ruby probably writes fanfics in her spare down and is too embarrassed for what she wrote. (It's fics about her dating Connor and Chelsea)

Ruby was once afraid of seagulls when she was young.

Ruby has zero idea that she holds the title for oceanside's biggest sweetheart award.

Ruby probably makes math equations to help calm her nerves.

Ruby actually has impressive upper body strength.

There's more but that's all I got, what do you think?

Thunderstorms not being a thing that they experience because they live decently deep under the water and as a result are terrified of them is a hilarious idea that I love.

The only iffy part for me is the cat-aspects but that's entirely me. I think it'd be better if merfolk were akin to seals. Like that one meme of the seal yawning but that causes it to roll down the hill it was one but for mermaids.

Seashells could be like a status symbol of some kind in merfolk society. That'd be pretty neato!

Absolutely agree with all the Ruby stuff though. It wouldn't hit her often but when she finds that show, Ruby goes all in and watches every single theory and lore video there is. Writes fanfic of it when she has the time and probably has a decent amount of followers for whatever story she wrote.

I wouldn't blame Ruby for being terrified of seagulls. They're a menace. I think her next enemy should be a giant seagull monster so she can punch it in the face.

She's an absolute bean shaped sweetheart and deserves all the awards!! Chelsea gets the you're the nastiest award.

They're really neat headcanons yea.

#ruby gillman teenage kraken #ruby gillman

15 notes · View notes

halfstack-smp · 1 year

Text

Ahba

Oh, Corvo silently realizes. I missed you.

Content: Even more sons, Corvo's 5 canon raven parents, accidentally speccing into polyamory, county fair turkey legs, lots of talk about The Past, borth

TW: Past character death, discussions of grief, past death of partners, past death of parents

Screen reader’s note: Contains passages in Hokkien english. Use of gender neutral it/they pronouns.

Read from the beginning

Read Halfstack stories

Read other Halfstack writings

Support the Halfstack SMP

A lot can happen in thirty years.

Turning fifty. Learning what a house is. Turning sixty. Getting dragged, kicking and screaming, towards the abstract concept of becoming literate, and picking up a swear or ten along the way. Turning seventy, realizing that not only are you still young, you're not even halfway done yet, and you’re ten years away from living twice as long as most wulvers.

Your parents can die, and one of them can come back with a gimp leg, two extra limbs, and a brain stuck out of time.

A lot can happen in thirty years.

A lot can happen in one.

Corvo Ravenslove tries to visit when he can.

Slovenguard is used to him by now. What little residents make their stay here have been here far too long to blink at the sight of a full grown draconis and his flying island appearing in their skyline. Besides, he always parks it off to the side. It would be rude to scare the chickens.

Ravenslove Tower has a few more rickety floors than the last time Corvo saw it, but the door is still tall enough for him to walk through.

It’s funny. Corvo never even lived here. Never needed to, never planned to. But when Fadir built this house, it thought of him anyway.

A lot can happen in thirty years. But when Corvo sticks his head under the house, antlers threatening to scratch the roof of the little porch that’s been built into the foundations, Fadir is still just barely large enough to use Corvo’s wrist as a perch. Somehow, the father-son ratio of Corvo’s childhood years has stayed exactly the same.

“You’re lucky Lynel is at school right now,” Fadir tiredly smiles. “I told them you come over, but-” It makes a vague noise.

“Kiasi, le,” Corvo finishes for it. “I get it. The landing always looks way scarier than it actually is.”

“And be-sides,” Fadir continues, “I want to take care of your shopping before you an’ them start fightin’ over scraps.”

Corvo sputters. “Ahba- ahba, I wouldn’t throw hands with a child!”

“After last year, I don’t believe you.”

There is a silence.

“The seagulls deserved it,” Corvo quickly says.

“County fair turkey leg, le,” Fadir deadpans.

“I would fight a seagull in the back alley of a taotie buffet,” Corvo insists. “Those birds are a menace to society.”

To this day, Corvo doesn’t know how Fadir manages to look so concernedly done with his shit while wearing the most perfectly gentle smile on its face. Which is absolutely unfair. Corvo has seen this old man’s raven body size up a bear in defense of a tossed bag of fries.

“You look like Talon when you make that face,” Corvo says instead. “And it managed that with half its beak missing.”

Fadir snorts. “Xylem always translated for it well enough.” Fadir’s head casts to the side. “Did I ever tell you how we met? Th’ five of us, le. Ravens don’t have big pairs like that.”

“The other ravens would always look at you a little funny when you were all together,” Corvo recalls. “But only those horny teenagers would be shitty about it.”

Fadir scoffs to itself as it stands and stretches, walking off towards the garden. The cane by its seat stays at its simple perch- Fadir doesn't need to be told the lay of its own land, not anymore.

“No one knew what t’ do with your egg when we first found you,” Fadir starts. “Xylem an’ Talon, ah- vo-lun-teered t’ take what-ever was going t’ hatch. They raised most o’ their last children already, ne? All the time in the world.” Fadir smiles sharply. “Morrow took that personally.”

Corvo ducks his head low as they pass the wisteria tree, as if this time his face wouldn’t get pelted with flowers. “Morrow took everything personally, ahba.”

Fadir shrugs. “We didn’t know how long you would be a child. Morrow wanted younger mates t’ see to it. I said such a big egg would need more than two mates watchin’ it if either of us wanted t’ see our children next spring.” Its foot grabs at a cuttlebone in the ground and tosses it towards the chickens grazing by the glowberries. “Suppose I won out, ‘cus that’s what we did. We waited for you t’ hatch. An’ by the time your second spring came, we- we were nestin’ our chicks to-gether.”

Its face softens.

“Fry was young. Tried t’ court all four of us at once, le!” A small laugh. “But it was always good to th’ chicks, and… it would fly out to the sea, every year, just to bring back pretty stones. Crazy bird.” A pause. “Course, I only know that ‘cus I did the same thing.”

“And then Xylem died,” Corvo gently continues. “Foraging accident, ne?”

“Dui. Morrow an’ I did our best t’ take care o’ Talon after, but…” Fadir sighs. “It couldn’t live with that. Not without Xylem.”

“And then Morrow died.”

“And then I… died.” Fadir’s voice trails quiet. “And then I didn’t.”

Corvo remembers those days. Him and Fry had barely even processed being unable to find Fadir’s body before something stumbled out of the woods- skin like silver, talons like blood, a prophet’s ravensign swallowing its face like a solar fucking eclipse, only recognizable by the stilted voice of a dead raven that could barely stutter its own name out of a forcibly restructured syrinx.

Fadir died with Morrow that spring afternoon. The Sunraven that walked out of Pando in the summer was never quite the same, and it and Corvo both know that.

“Never stopped Fry from visiting,” Corvo allows. “It’d bring you those stones until you could fly to the ocean again.”

“Every year on my birthday.” Fadir stops by a carved stone in the garden. “Every year.”

Corvo doesn’t ask about the writing on the stone. He already knows what’s buried there.

(He donated that headstone itself.)

“I know why y’ don’t visit,” Fadir quietly admits. “I know it’s hard.”

Corvo’s wings snap shut like a tarp as his body stiffens. “I- I try when I can-”

“No,” Fadir softly corrects. “Y’ don’t.” It tilts its head towards Corvo’s eyes, bone-deep weariness locked into its gently frozen smile. “It’s alright, le. You were still very young. I think- I think it was not fair, that you were still so young.”

Corvo looks off to the side. “Plenty of people lost their parents younger than I did.”

“An’ you waited every day for twenty years before y’ gave up on wonderin’ if I would die all over again,” Fadir bluntly says.

“Because you’re not going to die, ahba,” Corvo insists. “You- you basically can’t.”

“May-be so. I think I want t’ live for a very long time. Or not. I just want to live!” Fadir kneels against the ground, body turning towards the headstone in its garden. “But sometimes, I think- I think it is because this body is so far away from these terrible things. I died. And you didn’t. It’s okay, I think, if that makes you sad.” Its knobbled hand hovers around the stone, never quite touching. “It just means you were still alive.”

And maybe it’s twenty years too late to realize for every slip and fall and painstakingly relearned word, Fadir had been just as there and aware and done with it all as Corvo was. But Fadir lived anyway, and so did he.

That will have to be enough.

“Let’s go out to eat this time,” Corvo decides. “Forget the shopping trip, le.”

Fadir’s smoldering black wings puff up with surprise. “I like to cook for you!”

“I keep destroying your entire pantry in a day!” Corvo nearly wheezes. “I feel so bad! I don’t want to scare the new kid!”

“Maybe we call up the taotie buf-fet,” Fadir sarcastically offers. “So your new ahdi can watch you fight a seagull.”

Corvo chuffs loudly enough to stir a light breeze. “Jokes on you, I’d pay to make that happen. And I probably will. I’ll-” He raises a single defiant claw. “I’ll fight you.”

“And I would let you win because I missed my son ve-ry much,” Fadir sweetly croons. It starts to walk back to the house. “I go text Lynel about dinner. They always buy snacks after school, le.”

Oh, Corvo silently realizes. I missed you.

“Hey,” he softly calls out, stopping Fadir just short of the porch stairs. “Happy birthday.”

Fadir’s eyes widen for a second, almost turning pitch black. It blinks, and squints to itself.

“That’s the first time you called it my birthday,” it whispers. “Kamsia.”

It’s head snaps away, and it stiffly walks up the stairs. Bit of an awkward response, really. Corvo wasn’t sure what he expected.

(It’s a start.)

#ravenslove #fadir ravenslove #corvo ravenslove #lynel ravenslove #halfstack stories #halfstack smp #aenor-llelo #thipuh

12 notes · View notes

my-apollo-gies · 2 years

Note

if nico is a crow than percy is a seagull

yes he is a menace to society (affectionate)

#but honestly if youve ever been within like 100 miles of the sea yk what i mean #percy jackson

13 notes · View notes

key-lime-soda · 1 year

Note

Top 5 favourite creatures?

:0 oh hello!!! an unexpected surprise, but a welcome one! Top 5 fav creatures

Pigeon

Hamster

Crabs

Squid

Turtles

honorable mention goes to Seagulls which are aesthetically cool but a menace to society in reality

#ask game #seagulls are like sky rats

6 notes · View notes

raccoonzinspace · 2 years

Text

Shadowbugs and Seagulls

You know a bird doesn't fear anything when they try to steal food from a large, powerful, intelligent apex predator that can swallow them whole.

Even though Shadowbugs are known to murk and eat seagulls, it doesn't stop the pesky birds from trying to steal and eat these creatures' meals. Even if the seagulls peck and claw at the Shadowbugs, the Shadowbugs just swat them away like flies or even eat them if they persist. Since Shadowbugs aren't technically bound by the law, they don't get in trouble for fighting these annoying creatures off.

There have been a few incidents in which seagulls have actually tried to murk and eat Shadowbabies AND adult Shadowbugs but were unsuccessful. The parents of the babies always fought the skyrats off, using their large girths to act as a shield for their children and using their claws to knock the winged menaces down from the sky. The debacles do provide a good meal for the Shadowbug family, though.

So yeah. Shadowbugs kind of hate seagulls for the same reason humans do:

They're seaside menaces to society and I think it's time to make hunting them legal again.

#invader zim #fan creations #fan concept #rats with wings #i don't like seagulls #at all #there's only a few seagulls i like #the others can just get yeeted into oblivion

3 notes · View notes

18shadesofmay · 10 days

Note

another ask because im annoying and i love making friends and not giving them a single second to breathe but am introverted enough to keep off the DMs (unless approached first, wink wink.) :

if max verstappen wasn't such a menace to society (love him, though) which f1 driver would be taking home the chinese grand prix win? and why is it charles leclerc if ferrari wasn't an ass?

(i saw you reblog a f1 post and am currently praying to god you're interested in overpriced uncomfortable cars going vroom vroom in weird shaped circles.)

KEEP EM COMING i absoultely love this. human interaction. this is basically much needed rehearsal for real life situations.

YES i'm totally into f1. and you are too, i've observed, CRAZY good coincidence :)

alright, so whatever i'm going to say here, is going to be primarily based on what i've seen in quali and the sprint, but also i do expect the general pattern of this season to continue. at least until monaco or silverstone or spa.

as the son of a part-time f1 elitist, i must say i'm praying to all gods, even those who don't exist, that alonso performs. as a fan of the sport in general, i can't write a prediction post and not say that. the guy is still legendary. we saw that today.

that said, taking the recent and not-so-recent past into account, my expectations are different. unfortunately what i want to happen and what i think will happen are alag alag:

it's a battle for third place, basically. and THAT battle i'd love alonso to win, of course. but he's been showing signs of exhaustion in the final third of the race, and i'm not very optimistic this time round either. top performer, but i think he'll lose pace in the ultimate moments.

q3 today was that one scene in finding nemo where all the seagulls say "MINE MINE MINE MINE" for the fish except the fish is P2. gave me hope. there is chaos. there is excitement. checo will finish P2 though.

stroll was doing so well in the beginning, he was like 0.2 off of fernando at one point, iirc. of course, this isn't a podium shout but im going to keep an eye on lance, he looks exciting. impressive drive from bottas, btw. and nico. i have a soft spot for hulky.

let's address the elephant in the room, yeah? what the fuck was that from ferrari. as a self-aware ferrari fan, i'll cut this off before it turns into a rant, but i was optimistic about our chances in the sprint format. ANYWAY (youre welcome)

alonso got a 10 second penalty for his incident with sainz. if you go watch what actually happened, it's SO clearly excessive from the stewards.

okay so FINALLY, i talked a whole lot about nando and my THOUGHTS on the gp but didn't actually answer your question lmao. sorry for nerding out DAMN that's a big paragraph.

i think if max wasn't a maniac, we'd hear a lot more talk about lando. who will WIN the chinese gp if not for max? i'm sorry to be boring but honestly, checo.

the guy is consistent, no doubt about that. but the reason i say checo is (apart from the OBVIOUS monster car) his mentality and the way the season's shaping up for him. he's obviously confident, but also his greatest rival for the driver's standings, his PARTNER, is max. when you have that kind of competition, you're automatically a better you.

feel sorry for lewis.

god, i should shut up now.

#asks #ishani #i get talkative with kuch log #f1 #chinese grand prix #nerding out is fun

1 note · View note

bamf-jaskier · 3 years

Text

Who the Fuck is Eskel?

If you have ever gone on The Witcher tag on Tumblr, I’m sure you’ve seen dozens of blogs dedicated to this guy named Eskel and for people who have just seen the show you might be wondering - who the fuck is this guy?

Hi, I’m Aaliyah, and this is Part 5 of my WTF Series - a crash course in subjects from The Witcher Books.

Post under the cut

Let’s jump in by talking about what books Eskel is in. He’s only mentioned in one line in The Last Wish, The Tower of Swallows and The Time of Contempt. He has a flashback scene in Lady of the Lake and the only book where he plays a heavy role in is Blood of Elves.

For all you Eskel Stans out there, this is good news, because it looks like S2 of the show is going to be taking some cues from Blood of Elves and we do know Eskel is going to be appearing so these scenes might be showing up in some form or another in the show.

We first meet Eskel in Blood of Elves when Geralt is first bringing Ciri to the keep:

“Who comes?” Ciri heard a menacing, metallic voice which sounded like a dog’s bark. “Geralt?”

“Yes, Eskel. It’s me.”

“Come in.”

The witcher dismounted, took Ciri from the saddle, stood her on the ground and pressed a bundle into her little hands which she grabbed tightly, only regretting that it was too small for her to hide behind completely.

“Wait here with Eskel,” he said. “I’ll take Roach to the stables.”

“Come into the light, laddie,” growled the man called Eskel. “Don’t lurk in the dark.”

Ciri looked up into his face and barely restrained her frightened scream. He wasn’t human. Although he stood on two legs, although he smelled of sweat and smoke, although he wore ordinary human clothes, he was not human. No human can have a face like that, she thought.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” repeated Eskel.

She didn’t move. In the darkness she heard the clatter of Roach’s horseshoes grow fainter. Something soft and squeaking ran over her foot. She jumped. “Don’t loiter in the dark, or the rats will eat your boots.”

Still clinging to her bundle Ciri moved briskly towards the light. The rats bolted out from beneath her feet with a squeak. Eskel leaned over, took the package from her and pulled back her hood.

“A plague on it,” he muttered. “A girl. That’s all we need.”

She glanced at him, frightened. Eskel was smiling. She saw that he was human after all, that he had an entirely human face, deformed by a long, ugly, semi-circular scar running from the corner of his mouth across the length of his cheek up to the ear.

“Since you’re here, welcome to Kaer Morhen,” he said. “What do they call you?”

“Ciri,” Geralt replied for her, silently emerging from the darkness. Eskel turned around. Suddenly, quickly, wordlessly, the witchers fell into each other’s arms and wound their shoulders around each other tight and hard. For one brief moment.

“Wolf, you’re alive.”

“I am.”

“All right.” Eskel took a torch from its bracket. “Come on. I’m closing the inner gates to stop the heat escaping.”

Couple things here. First, for all the game fans out there, Eskel’s scar in the books is VERY different. It’s not the lightening-like claw marks that go over his eye but instead it goes from the corner of his mouth to his ear. This is interesting because it really parallels in my mind Ciri’s scar she gets later on that extends from under her eye to her ear.

Also, the little reunion between Geralt and Eskel, so sweet. The line about Eskel in Last Wish establishes that they were close friends so here is the snippet just to give more backstory to the two of them:

“Once, years ago, when a little snot-faced brat following his studies in Kaer Morhen, the Witchers’ Settlement, he and a friend, Eskel, had captured a huge forest bumblebee and tied it to a jug with a thread. They were in fits of laughter watching the antics of the tied bumblebee, until Vesemir, their tutor, caught them at it and tanned their hides with a leather strap.”

Childhood friends and brothers is just so damn great. Actually, speaking of brothers, it is stated in Blood of Elves that Geralt and Eskel actually look very similar and are often mistaken for brothers such as in this scene from Triss’s POV.

Eskel stood next to Geralt, resembling the Wolf like a brother apart from the colour of his hair and the long scar which disfigured his cheek. And the youngest of the Kaer Morhen witchers, Lambert, was there with his usual ugly, mocking expression. Vesemir was not there.

“Welcome and come in,” said Eskel. “It is as cold and blustery as if someone has hung themselves. Ciri, where are you off to? The invitation does not apply to you. The sun is still high, even if it is obscured. You can still train.”

“Hey.” The Enchantress tossed her hair. “Politeness comes cheap in Witchers’ Keep now, I see. Ciri was the first to greet me, and brought me to the castle. She ought to keep me company—”

This really interests me because Ciri is very young child when she meets Eskel and she is very terrified of him and intimidated. Which makes sense, she is very traumatized. But, when Triss meets Eskel she only makes a short note of his scar and focuses more on his resemblance to Geralt and commenting on the lack of politeness. It just goes to show how different characters perceive people differently. A child’s perspective of a warrior is not going to be the same as a Mage’s.

“You didn’t even know.” She nodded in what was now a calm, concerned and gentle reproach. “You’re pathetic guardians. She’s ashamed to tell you because she was taught not to mention such complaints to men. And she’s ashamed of the weakness, the pain and the fact that she is less fit. Has any one of you thought about that? Taken any interest in it? Or tried to guess what might be the matter with her? Maybe her very first bleed happened here, in Kaer Morhen? And she cried to herself at night, unable to find any sympathy, consolation or even understanding from anyone? Has any one of you given it any thought whatsoever?”

“Stop it, Triss,” moaned Geralt quietly. “That’s enough. You’ve achieved what you wanted. And maybe even more.”

“The devil take it,” cursed Coën. “We’ve turned out to be right idiots, there’s no two ways about it, eh, Vesemir, and you—”

“Silence,” growled the old witcher. “Not a word.”

It was Eskel’s behaviour which was most unlikely; he got up, approached the enchantress, bent down low, took her hand and kissed it respectfully. She swiftly withdrew her hand. Not so as to demonstrate her anger and annoyance but to break the pleasant, piercing vibration triggered by the witcher’s touch. Eskel emanated powerfully. More powerfully than Geralt.

“Triss,” he said, rubbing the hideous scar on his cheek with embarrassment, “help us. We ask you. Help us, Triss.”

Now, if you can’t tell, Triss’ favorite is Eskel. This scene is also implies that Eskel is more magically powerful than Geralt which Is very interesting. But Triss is an Eskel stan, in fact a couple lines later Triss thinks to herself:

Vesemir hawked again. But Eskel, dear Eskel, kept his head and once more behaved as was fitting.

“Of course,” he said casually, smiling. “We understand and clearly we will postpone your exercises until your indisposition has passed. We will also cut the theory short and, if you feel unwell, we will put it aside for the time being, too. If you need any medication or—”

Eskel definitely has the older sibling energy where he ends up in charge sometimes and knows how to keep a cool head. He’s also the most aware of societal norms of behavior which is why Triss likes his so much. She really respects people who know how to move in society.

There’s also this scene in Blood of Elves where Eskel is drinking and offers Triss some:

“White Seagull.”

“What?”

“A mild remedy,” Eskel smiled, “for pleasant dreams.”

“Damn it! A witcher hallucinogenic? That’s why your eyes shine like that in the evenings!”

“White Seagull is very gentle. It’s Black Seagull that is hallucinogenic.”

“If there’s magic in this liquid I’m not allowed to take it!”

“Exclusively natural ingredients,” Geralt reassured her but he looked, she noticed, disconcerted. He was clearly afraid she would question them about the elixir’s ingredients. “And diluted with a great deal of water. We would not offer you anything that could harm you.”

I think it’s very funny how secret The Witcher keeps all their potions and elixirs. Whether it’s mushrooms or potions, they gotta keep those secret drugs locked down tight. Also the fact that Eskel is the fantasy equivalent of high every night? Love that for him.

Eskel really is the peace-maker of the group. He’s not a push-over by any means but he is definitely more willing to play along that any of the others. When Triss is talking at night, Eskel is really the only one listening and engaging, even if it’s very half-hearted.

In the evenings, consistently and determinedly, Triss guided the long conversations held in the dark hall, lit only by the bursts of flames in the great hearth, towards politics. The witchers’ reactions were always the same. Geralt, a hand on his forehead, did not say a word.

Vesemir nodded, from time to time throwing in comments which amounted to little more than that “in his day” everything had been better, more logical, more honest and healthier.

Eskel pretended to be polite, and neither smiled nor made eye contact, and even managed, very occasionally, to be interested in some issue or question of little importance. Coën yawned openly and looked at the ceiling, and Lambert did nothing to hide his disdain.

And he is really the only sort-of listener to Triss’ stories and retellings of events:

This time it was Triss who began to yawn and stare at the ceiling. This time she was the one who remained silent – until Eskel turned to her with a question. A question which she had anticipated.

“And what is it really like in the south, on the Yaruga? Is it worth going there? We wouldn’t like to find ourselves in the middle of any trouble.”

“What do you mean by trouble?”

“Well, you know…” he stammered, “you keep telling us about the possibility of a new war… About constant fighting on the borders, about rebellions in the lands invaded by Nilfgaard. You said they’re saying the Nilfgaardians might cross the Yaruga again—”

“So what?” said Lambert. “They’ve been hitting, killing and striking against each other constantly for hundreds of years. It’s nothing to worry about. I’ve already decided – I’m going to the far South, to Sodden, Mahakam and Angren. It’s well known that monsters abound wherever armies have passed. The most money is always made in places like that.”

“True,” Coën acknowledged. “The neighbourhood grows deserted, only women who can’t fend for themselves remain in the villages… scores of children with no home or care, roaming around… Easy prey attracts monsters.”

“And the lord barons and village elders,” added Eskel, “have their heads full of the war and don’t have the time to defend their subjects. They have to hire us. It’s true. But from what Triss has been telling us all these evenings, it seems the conflict with Nilfgaard is more serious than that, not just some local little war. Is that right, Triss?”

Once more, Eskel is the peace-maker of the conversation and he brings it back around to what Triss originally said and also points to her expertise. Basically, Eskel is not really a fan of verbal conflict.

This is actually the last line we see Eskel in a scene outside of the flashback in Lady of the Lake. After this, Triss, Geralt and Ciri head off. It is important to note that near the end of Blood of Elves Ciri says this about Yennefer:

The lady magician knew a surprising amount about a witcher’s sword and “dance.” She knew a great deal about the secrets of Kaer Morhen; there was no doubt she had visited the Keep. She knew Vesemir and Eskel. Although not Lambert and Coën.

Yennefer used to visit Kaer Morhen. Ciri guessed why – when they spoke of the Keep – the eyes of the enchantress grew warm, lost their angry gleam and their cold, indifferent, wise depth. If the words had befitted Yennefer’s person, Ciri would have called her dreamy, lost in memories.

So clearly Yennefer is also friendly with Eskel and knows him. I love the idea that Yennefer regularly visited Kaer Morhen before Ciri came into Geralt’s care and I would literally cry if they did a flashback sequence in S2 of Yennefer visiting Geralt in Kaer Morhen.

The flashback sequence in Lady of the Lake with Eskel goes like this:

The fire in the huge fireplace went out. A gust of wind from the mountains whistled through the crevices of the walls and screamed through the improperly closed shutters of Kaer Morhen, Home of the Witchers.

“Damn it!” Eskel said, standing up and going to the cupboard. “Seagull or vodka?”

“Vodka,” Geralt and Coen said with one voice.

“Sure,” interjected Vesemir, hidden in the shadows, “Yes, of course! Drown your stupidity in vodka. Damn fools!”

“It was an accident…” muttered Lambert. “She had already mastered the comb…”

“Shut your big mouth, you idiot! I don’t want to hear any more! I warned you, if something happened to that little girl…”

“Enough,” Coen interrupted him, softly. “She sleeps peacefully. Deep and healthy. She will wake up a bit sore, but that’s it. About the trance, and what happened, she will not even remember it.”

“As long as you remember,” said Vesemir, panting angrily. “Cabbage heads! Pour for me too, Eskel.”

They were silent for a long time, listening intently to the howling gale.

“We will need to call someone,” Eskel finally said. “We will need to bring a sorcerer here. What is happening to the girl, it is not normal.”

Eskel is one of The Witcher who really pushes to call Triss in order to help with Ciri’s trances. Also, once again this guy is hitting the drinks.

So yeah! That’s Eskel in the books. Based on how in the non-canon wedding short Asaps wrote where he ended up having Triss and Eskel get together, I think his hints of them having a connection in the books is very intentional and if The Witcher wasn’t such a god damn tragedy and Triss wasn’t mooning over Geralt, I’m willing to bet they would have gotten together at some point.

Eskel is the peace-maker of the family and is the best at recognizing the norms of “polite society” (or at least noble society) and while Ciri might have been scared of his appearance, it isn’t enough to phase Triss who is considered rather vain. In fact, she seems to respect Eskel the most out of the Witchers. Just imagine a dark-haired, scarred Geralt and BOOM, you got yourself an Eskel.

158 notes · View notes

bearotonin-international · 1 year

Text

boink

#seagulls are a menace to society #and polar bears #Coral did not deserve to be attacked like this #very rude #very very rude

352 notes · View notes

atomicblasphemy · 2 years

Text

The Pidgeon shennanigans’ post in one place... yay

Just like putting all the stuff i put on that thread into one singular post because why not?

Very important and well thought out concept:

When Lilith went to the market they had run out of owl related curses. And she was tired and more than a little upset about it so she picked the first one she saw and didn’t really look into it.

The result is Eda: The Pidgeon Beast.

Essentially nothing of the canon changes, the only main difference is that Owlbert can’t help feeling out of place from time to time and that Eda herself finds a little more difficulty in boasting.

@pizzaboat ‘s input

All I can hear is feed the birds, now.

Back to my ramblings:

I mean, I know pidgeons are technically not birds of prey. But can you imagine how terrifying the beast would be?

And you’re right about how scary the food intake would be, but both ends of her digestive system would be a menace to the powers that be.

I mean… think about…

Pidgeon Beast Eda’s bowels alone would pretty much be a factory of bio weapons. Add to that Eda’s ability to potion making and blam… The emperor is royally fucked… by a pidgeon (which surprisingly enough would make him a much more relatable villain to many people).

And on the intruder episode there would be an ominous pruuu throughout the owl house. (Yes, it is still called that because of Hooty. Him being an owl is correlation, not causation)

Oh, and Harpy Eda... Yeah... She’s no Harpy in this nascent AU that I will absolutely not write...

No, instead she digivolves into a different kind of scavenging bird, famous for it’s intelligence: the crow.

Her relationship with Lilith gets a tad (more) awkward due to that. But it’s not like Lilith has any way of holding that against Eda, be it in her witch, pidgeon or crow forms.

By the way, the grand finale would pretty much be a crossover with that most thematically appropriate Hitchcock film. Except instead of seagulls and sea hawks it’s only pidgeons. And they not so much attack everything as they just stand there ominously pruuuing and shitting on everything to the point that the Boiling Isles’ whole infrastructure and society just flat out collapses. Sure, a bit anti-climatic but it is what it is: the nature of pidgeons is one that cannot be subverted. And one the pidgeons themselves do not wish to subvert. They are enlightened enough to rejoice even at their own inherent limitations.

Truly, we all ought to learn more from such creatures.

The end.

Bonus:

“Urgh... HUMAN! Do you see me going to the owl shack and bothering you while you fry up pidgeons? Just leave me alone.”

“What? Why would we...? Do you have any idea how unsanitary that would be? All the pidgeons around our house are from the city, they all eat sewer.”

“... Doesn’t your mentor eat literal garbage all the time when she’s in her beast form though?”

“Yeah... But she’s been doing that for twice as long as we’ve been alive. That woman’s immune system is a medical miracle. Like seriously, at least twice a week the Healing Coven knocks on our door on their knees asking to study her. And it’s not even like their interns or something like that. I’m on first name basis with their head witch already.”

“Really?”

“Of course. I mean, come to think of it those guys are better at tracking her down than the Emperor’s Coven. Weird... Anyway, see you around school then cutie pie.”

#THE OWL HOUSE #edalyn clawthorne #lilith clawthorne #emperor belos #phillip wittebane #Luz Noceda #amity blight #alfred hitchcock #Pidgeons #Trust the pidgeons

10 notes · View notes

passionate-reply · 3 years

Video

youtube

This week on Great Albums: a fresh look at quite possibly the 80s’ most hated band, A Flock of Seagulls! Spoiler: their music is good, people in the 90s and 00s were just mean. If you want to find out more about how having the absolute best hair in the business ended up backfiring on these poor sods, look no further than my latest video. Or the transcript of it, which follows below the break!

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! Today, I’m going to be diving into a discussion of quite possibly the most derided and lambasted music group of the 1980s: A Flock of Seagulls. With a strange name, a perhaps painfully stylish aesthetic, and equally trendy and of-the-moment music, that was, for a time, inescapable in popular culture, their legacy forms a perfect target for the ridicule all popular things must face in due time. But even moreso than that, I think A Flock of Seagulls have become not only a punchline in and of themselves, but also a summation of everything that was dreadful and excessive about the early 1980s, with its “Second British Invasion” of synthesiser-driven New Wave. I can think of no better example of this kind of abuse than a famous line from the 1999 comedy film, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me. The film is largely a love letter to the 1960s and its Mod aesthetics, and the protagonist, a super-spy unfrozen from this era in time, dismisses the history and culture of the 1970s and 80s as nothing more than “a gas shortage, and A Flock of Seagulls.” But at the time of this writing, we’re about as far away from Austin Powers as the film was from the release of this album, the band’s 1982 debut LP, so I think it’s been long enough that we can start to re-evaluate A Flock of Seagulls’ rightful place in music history.

While this self-titled album was the group’s first long-player, their first release was the 1981 single “It’s Not Me Talking.” Notably, this track was actually produced by the legendary Bill Nelson, who also released it on their behalf via his personal label, Cocteau Records. Ever since discovering this for myself, I’ve found the connection between Nelson and A Flock of Seagulls fascinating, and also satisfying. Despite the gulf between their respective reputations, I do think their work has a lot in common, at the end of the day: swirling washes of synth disrupted by screaming guitars, not to mention that shared interest in Midcentury rock and roll aesthetics.

Music: “It’s Not Me Talking”

These two acts would, of course, go their separate ways shortly after, and they ended up in completely opposite camps, with Nelson becoming a cult favourite with little crossover success, and A Flock of Seagulls going on to create what is, undoubtedly, one of the most iconic songs of the entire decade.

Music: “I Ran”

What does one even say about a song like “I Ran”? Over the years, it’s certainly gotten somewhat overplayed, but I can’t really hold that against it. It’s just a damn good song. Both ethereally menacing as well as catchy and rather accessible, “I Ran” takes the atmosphere suggested by “It’s Not Me Talking” and kicks it into another gear, with a harder-hitting hook and the introduction of that highly distinctive and of-the-moment echoing guitar effect. Some will hear it as little more than evidence that the song is hopelessly dated, but I’ve never thought of it as anything other than satisfying to listen to. If you ask me, I figure all art that exists is essentially “a product of its time”--nobody ever said Michelangelo Buonarroti’s David was a lousy sculpture, just because you can easily tell it was made during the Italian Renaissance. At any rate, I’d encourage everyone reading to go back and listen to it again, trying to maintain a little neutrality. I’d recommend the album cut of it, which is significantly longer than the single version, and features a rich intro that sets the scene before that famous guitar ever makes an appearance, which I think really adds to the experience. By some reckonings, A Flock of Seagulls are sometimes considered a “one-hit wonder,” but while they certainly are remembered chiefly for “I Ran,” this album’s other singles were moderately successful as well.

Music: “Space Age Love Song”

“Space Age Love Song” is perhaps the band’s second best-remembered single, and takes their sound in a markedly different direction than that of “I Ran.” “I Ran” won popular acclaim by finding a new home for the guitar, in the midst of a sea of synth, and pushed A Flock of Seagulls into a similar space as acts like the Cars and Duran Duran, who had enough mainstream rock sensibilities to sneak a lot of synthesiser usage onto American rock radio...much as one might sneak spinach into tomato sauce when feeding picky children. But I think “Space Age Love Song” is much more palatable to listeners of pop, synth- or otherwise. It’s softer in texture, and really almost dreamy, capturing the hazy, buoyant feeling of limerence as well as any pop song ever has. I’m tempted to compare it to another synth-driven classic, whose influence towers over this period in electronic music: the great Giorgio Moroder’s “I Feel Love.” Much like “I Feel Love,” “Space Age Love Song” combines simple, almost banal love lyrics with an evocative electronic soundscape, painting a picture of an enchanting, high-tech future where human feelings like love have remained comfortably recognizable across centuries or millennia. A similar theme of futuristic love pervades the album’s second single, “Modern Love Is Automatic.”

Music: “Modern Love Is Automatic”

While “Space Age Love Song” uses simplistic lyricism to portray the relatable universality of falling in love, “Modern Love Is Automatic” gives us the album’s most complex narrative. In a world where “young love’s forbidden,” we meet a pair of star-crossed lovers prevented from being together by some sort of dystopian authority. The male member of this union, introduced as the “cosmic man,” is apparently imprisoned for the crime of loving, but the text suggests that he may escape from this prison--or, perhaps, even be freed from it. The title, repeated quite frequently throughout the track, is perhaps the mantra of this anti-love society, a piece of propaganda being drilled into us as thoroughly as it is into these subjects: Modern love is automatic, with no need for messy, unpredictable human input.

It’s also worth noting that the song is consciously set in “old Japan,” deliberately locating it in the “exotic” East. While East Asia was strongly associated with refined, perhaps futuristic culture, I can’t help but think there’s a more pejorative sentiment operating here, rooted in stereotypes of Asian cultures unduly policing sexual freedom, and other forms of personal expression and self-determination. Ultimately, despite its futuristic trappings, “Modern Love Is Automatic” isn’t really a song about technology at all, but rather authoritarianism. “Telecommunication,” on the other hand, engages more directly with that theme.

Music: “Telecommunication”

“Telecommunication” was also released prior to the self-titled album proper, and was also produced by Bill Nelson. While structurally similar to “Modern Love Is Automatic,” with an oft-repeated title, brief verses, and a generally repetitive musical structure full of meandering guitar, its text quite plainly discusses the titular field of technology, in a seemingly non-judgmental fashion--though it could be argued that the fairly upbeat music suggests a positive outlook on things like radio and TV. The one hitch in all of it is the very end of the last verse, which sets the song in the “nuclear age”--a nod, perhaps, to the darker applications of 20th Century technology. “Telecommunication” is perhaps indebted less to figures like Moroder, and moreso to Kraftwerk, who first solidified the rich tradition of stoic synth thumpers about everyday machines like cars, trains, and, of course, nuclear energy. I’m also tempted to compare it to an earlier work of Bill Nelson’s group Be-Bop Deluxe, “Electrical Language,” another bubbly number that playfully bats this concept back and forth.

The theme of “quotidian technology” is also present on the cover of this album, which features an interior shot of a living room, centered around a television set. The TV displays a figure playing guitar--perhaps one of those heroic rock pioneers of the Midcentury like Buddy Holly, whom Nelson was so keen to imitate. But what’s most immediately striking about this cover is its beautiful colour palette, full of deep, saturated jewel tones, treated softly with an “airbrush” style effect. Despite being a somewhat mundane scene, the image also features fanciful, imaginative touches: the floor of this room is actually a miniature beach landscape, with the “floor” beneath the TV actually being the surface of the ocean, and the TV appears to be surrounded by a colourful, glowing group of birds. Given the beachy surroundings, we could perhaps interpret them as the titular seagulls. It’s tempting to think of this scene as a representation of how technology can sweep us away, out of our everyday existence and into something richer and more exciting.

But perhaps it’s not so simple--note also the open window in the top left, whose curtain appears to be agitated by some sort of motion in the air. Perhaps these birds are not the products of television fantasy, but rather have flown in from the window, and hence hail from the “real world?” Given how tracks like “Space Age Love Song” and “Modern Love Is Automatic” tackle the theme of the mundane meeting the fantastical, I think this complex and arresting image is a great fit for the album.

While their self-titled debut spawned multiple recognizable hits, A Flock of Seagulls never came anywhere close to recapturing its success. For the most part, they struggled to remain relevant as time wore on, largely abandoning the sonic footprint of their first album, and chasing after new trends in music technology such as digital synthesisers. They would eventually break up during the mid-1980s, and though they’ve reunited in order to perform live several times, the book is probably closed on A Flock of Seagulls. Personally, I can’t help but wonder what might have been if they had stuck to their musical roots a bit more. You get a bit of that on their third LP, 1984’s The Story of a Young Heart, which thankfully brings back that iconic echoing guitar, and does so without sounding too much like a simple retread of “I Ran.” Out of all their other work, it’s the album I would most recommend to admirers of this debut LP.

Music: “Remember David”

My favourite track on A Flock of Seagulls’ debut LP is “Messages”--not to be confused with the track of the same name by Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark! Moreso than anything else on the album, “Messages” has this aggressive, insistent, driving quality, and feels less like yacht rock, and more like punk rock. Despite not being released as a single, I think it’s a very strong track that’s quite easy to get into. That’s everything for today--thanks for listening!

Music: “Messages”

#music #album review #album reviews #great albums #a flock of seagulls #flock of seagulls

16 notes · View notes

lamiralami · 4 years

Text

TMA Retro 4: Page Turner

I was touched to see some tag commentary on yesterday’s post! Honestly, it gave me an emotion - I am traditionally very anxious about engaging online, it speaks to my immense love of TMA that it brought me to Make A Post At Last. It’s very affirming and reassuring to get some response to my lunatic treatises. Y’all are all right. 💜

Anyway, grab some lighter fluid and a sturdy wastepaper basket, time to torch your haunted novel in MAG 4: Page Turner

It’s ironic that this statement is about the Vast when it is one dense motherfucker. so many dangling plot threads are introduced here, each ready to hook you and start reeling. we’ve been into the meta plot since episode one but this episode is the first time the audience is made aware of such.

seriously: Jurgen Leitner and his library, Gerard Keay and Mary Keay, Michael Crew. the figures introduced in this one thirty-minute installment loom large over the rest of the entire run

you could, your first time through, even file this away as a one-off scary story if not for the fact that Jon knows what’s going on (enjoy it while it lasts, my son). He’s heard of Jurgen Leitner. He alludes to an incident with his library in 1994. Deeper than that, he immediately takes the statement at face value and treats the claims within it as authentic, which is a complete 180° on the first three episodes

and this is such a smart story choice? Jon shapes our perspective into this universe and up until now he’s been utterly dismissive of the validity of the stories he’s telling. To go from practically rolling his eyes to scheduling a meeting with his boss about tracking down more haunted books - that tells us that Jon takes this seriously as a threat. And that makes us take it seriously too, makes us take note that strange books are dangerous things in this world. Any offhand mention of books in future statements will be enough to make us sweat

And! It starts winding the narrative tension on a character level. Why and what does Jon know about Jurgen Leitner and his library? Why does he say his name with such venom? And if he’s so sure about the supernatural nature of these books, why is he so loath to believe the other statements?

(and then it takes 80 + episodes to fully answer these initial questions. Jonny enjoys a slow roasted torment)

love that the statement giver presents, as proof of his iron-clad sanity, the fact that he works as a theatre technician. speaking as someone with an unfinished theatre degree: theatre people are feral my good buddy, try again. I mean, we refuse to say the name of one of the most famous plays in the English language because we think a ghost will trip us for the indiscretion. this is not the trump card you think it is.

a quick sidebar for the Red String Brigade: The Trojan Women is an ancient Greek tragedy that involves a baby being thrown off a city wall. The Seagull’s first published English translation was done by Marian Fell, and also a seagull is a bird and birds can fly. Much Ado About Nothing is very good and you should all watch the version from 2011 with David Tennant and Catherine Tate.

it’s interesting that these early episodes seem to take a cue from urban legends in some respects. Nathan Watts gets extremely drunk at a party and then is almost skinned by a monster while having a smoke. Joshua Gillespie is approached while engaging in a whirlwind of debauchery and has to take care of a cursed coffin after accepting money for what he thinks is a drug trafficking gig. Amy Patel regularly spies on her neighbour for her own entertainment and then has to watch him be replaced by a malevolent entity only she can perceive. and now Dominic Swain pushes past his guilty conscience to score a valuable book off an unknowing charity shop and...gets a bit dizzy and haunted by a phantom stink for a few days then gets ‎£5,000, well anyway, the point is he got spooked! spooked after doing something kind of iffy! that is pure urban legend procedure; modern day fairy tales imparting dire consequences onto societal transgressions. in a horror story this structure offers a false sense of safety - if you’re a good person, the monster won’t come for you. I can’t recall which upcoming statement yanks the rug out from under us with the first completely random victim.

cannot comprehend how this guy didn’t start plugging the book into google translate the second he got home. that probably saved him from being taken by the book but I am still judging him for not even trying it. yeah you’d be sucked into some sort of sky hell but at least you’d know what’s in the book!! could never be me

(yes I am aware in this universe I would have been eaten years ago. I’ve made my peace with that)

grbookworm1818 slays me. I don’t know which is better, the idea of Gertude carefully curating the most sixty-five-year-old-on-goodreads username she could as a cover for her cursed purchase history, or her actual sixty-five-year-old brain just expressing itself naturally because Gertrude is a very busy woman who doesn’t have time to immerse herself in the ins and outs of internet culture, she just wants to buy the demonic tomes she’s selected for destruction and get on with her day thanks.

did Gertrude know what a meme was? which Archivist could convincingly pose as a millennial best, Gertrude Robinson or Jonathan Sims?

The Key of Solomon and its former keeper, Samuel Liddell MacGregor Mathers, are both real historical figures. the book is basically Renaissance-era magical au fanfic of the Bible, and the man was a 19th century British occultist (and likely drinking buddy of Jonah Magnus) who founded a Very Serious Secret Society. this is a picture of him whiiiiiich rather dispels any sense of menace he’s meant to invoke. what kind of cosplaying nonsense

Mary Keay is such a striking figure. “She was very old and painfully thin, but her head was completely clean shaven, and every square inch of skin I could see was tattooed over with closely-written words in a script I didn’t recognise.” a Look, a vision!

I’m guessing that Our Gerard was blasting heavy metal at 2 am to try to drown out his undead mother while waiting for her manifestation to dissipate. I like to imagine him frequenting Reddit advice posts about dealing with toxic family members, poor lad

oh my gosh Mary refers to Gerard as “her Gerard” is that where Jon got “our Gerard” from?? I feel betrayed??

whatever, I’m reclaiming it. Our Gerard is meant with affection now babey!

the eye portrait is a bit puzzling. the inscription - ‘“Grant us the sight that we may not know. Grant us the scent that we may not catch. Grant us the sound that we may not call.”’ - could almost be read as an invocation against the Eye? But in general Gerry is fairly Eye-aligned, so...shrug emoji

(honestly my main takeaway from the eye portrait is that it’s finely detailed and near photorealistic so we can add “tortured artist” to our list of Gerard Keay traits and is it any wonder that he’s so Fandom Beloved?)

Mary is Not Good at negotiating sales. her main technique involves terrible tea, bringing up repressed childhood trauma, and getting her magic book to drop animal bones onto customer’s shoes. I’m guessing Pinhole Books was in bad shape even before the police investigation and murder charges.

hahaha, the Vast pushes Dominic down the stairs. classic. you gotta grab what opportunities are available

so did Gerard have to follow Dominic back to his flat and wait awkwardly on the doorstep at like 3 in the morning, hoping none of his neighbours would notice and call the cops

the revelation that Mary’s been dead the whole time! this episode may be more intent on world building and plot set-up but damn if it isn’t still a good little ghost story.

kind of rude of Gerry to just burn a book in this guy’s flat without asking and then steal his wastepaper basket.

Jon may not call the statement giver a liar for once, but never fear, he’s still our petty bastard man. accuses Gertrude of filing statements without reading them, has Sasha double-check Martin’s research, grumps about his general misfortune . he’s stressed from the Archives’ disorder and having flashbacks to a certain picture book but by Jove, that won’t stop him making snide comments on what’s supposed to be an official audio transcription!

#tma retro #the magnus archives #tma spoilers #tma meta #I love love love all the little dominos being set into place in this episode #but I am looking forward to an episode about the Vast that really dives in deep #(pun absofuckinglutely intended)

16 notes · View notes

wallysbestie · 6 years

Text

Question Tag

So I was tagged by both @felegs and @stayuwu to do the 11 Question tag and a different one but ill probably make that its own post as well so minimize the size on these but yeah im gonna go ahead and just answer their question together and then,,, i dont know if ill be tagging people ill decide at the end lmao

but yeah ill put it under a read more because i dont want yall to deal with my long ramblings. if you just want my questions and want to ignore all my answer than just scroll to the very bottom!

Stayuwu’s Questions:

Are you a daydreamer? If so, what do you dream about?

I am~ I typically day dream about fic ideas like how I would imagine them to pan out or if I’m in class then I’ll typically day dream about this is nerdy as hell let me be how like the psych topics were learning about could be panned out in a story like we learned about this specific condition in my cog class and i just immediately wrote the concept into a fic story lmao

What’s your favorite place in the world?

mmm depends. at home its the beach but specifically this beach by my house because its a very calm beach that also has a super cute little center with small local shops and stuff and minimal seagulls hate those fuckers but here at school its my departments building because every floor has a big staircase thats dark and quiet and has huge windows facing the forest and the other side has a balcony facing the campus and you can see the ocean if youre high enough and its just hgvfsd i love

What’s home to you?

not be like,,, cliche i guess but like,,, i dont? think i have one? i dont like feeling tied down so i dont typically think of anywhere as “home”

This is not a question but quote a vine.

shawty i dont... mind

Grey’s anatomy or House?

House hands down i watched grey’s for a while growing up and its just,,, too much lmao house is so dark and unapologetic and i love it

Do you have any pets?

i have one (1) dumb dog that i love so much and can never stop talking about to showing off photos about

What kind of friend are you? (You know, the mom friend, the meme friend, etc).

the distant mom friend

Do you hate someone? If so, why?

nah i dont have the energy to give someone that type of passion. im more of the if you fuck me over ill completely cut you out of my life within a blink of an eye type of cap not the ill hold a grudge against you type of cap

What’s your dream job?

working in a hospital with kids with mental disorders and terminal illnesses

What MCU character resembles you the most? (not physically, more like mentally and emotionally).

i,,,, dont know??? i know mayhaps 3 characters from MCU and thats only through like 1 or 2 movies lmao

I won’t use this eleven question as an actual question, use your right to answer to this to talk about whatever the fuck you want. Rant, fangirl, talk about what you did today or yesterday or whatever. Just talk.

last night i went to sleep at like 1 am which is the earliest ive slept in so damn long and yet my body still decided it needed 12 hours of sleep. 12 hours? in this economy? please we dont have time for that i have articles to read

My Moon’s Questions:

what’s one thing that helps you relax?

being cold and listening to music helps me a lot so if im like freaking out or super upset ill usually go outside and either sit on the stair case or go walk around especially at night

what’s your favorite novel and author?

mmm its not a novel but my favorite short story that I’ve ever read is What We Talk About When We Talk About Love (but the original version) by Raymond Carver

are you an affectionate person? if so, how do you show affection?

kinda? I’m not a big fan of pda so the most I’ll do is like give hugs or if its something real special like my sun or my ex roommate then I’ll give them kisses on the cheek or forehead but aside from that I’m more of a silent affectionate person who will just like,,, pat your arm or bring you some water when I know you need it

are you an early bird or a night owl?

oh definitely a night owl whether I want to be or not lmao

if you’re comfortable with it, do you have a song you connect to something or someone, and if so, what is it?

mmm I have a lullaby that when my best friend moved back to their home state, they had me listen to it because they knew I was going through a really hard time and wasn’t not like,, in the safest of spots and I remember crying for like a solid 30 minutes and like even now to this day if I’m in a really bad spot I’ll listen to that song and just think about my best friend and like it just gives a small hope that things will be okay again

if you could go back to a place you’ve been to before, where would it be?

Florence, Italy the only place I’ve actually felt safe ironically considering its hours away from anything I could ever consider home

what does your favorite piece of clothing - that you own yourself - look like?

i have a shirt from this show that i love so much to the point my aunt stole it and hid it somewhere so now i have no idea where it is and will likely never get it back :’)

who’s your bias and why?

hgfds i have too many biases this is hard but uh honestly most of my biases are such for the same reason that being that they’re very strong capable people who have been through hell and back adn yet still always find a reason to bounce back and give life their all (ex: Yongguk, Young K, Taeyong, Bang Chan, Hanbin, Amber)

do you believe in luck and miracles?

finding you was a miracle but aside from that not really? i like the concept of them but i dont actually believe in them. i believe things happen for a reason yknow

what’s your favorite type of decorations?

christmas lightssss i own so many omg i think i have like,,, 8 strands with me currently?? with only 2 not being put up on some wall??

do you prefer being outside or inside?

definitely outside which is funny because I’m inside so much but I love going out adventuring and just being a menace to society tbh

My Questions:

What’s the “weirdest” song that stands out from your library?

Do you have a piece of clothing or jewelry that you hold dearly?

Have you ever gotten something autographed? How’d you get it?

What concert/festival did you really want to go to this year but had to miss?

What’s the hardest thing for you to do alone?

Would you rather stay in your hometown for the rest of your life but have everyone you love and appreciate live near you or move to your dream location and have a stable life but leave everyone you know behind?

Favorite thing to do during this lovely month of Halloween?

Are you a trick or treating kind of person or someone who would rather hand out the candy?

Do you have any crazy Halloween stories? Break into anything? Throw an insane party? Spill.

What’s the craziest thing you’ve done that when you look back you;re just like “wow who possessed me and made me do that?”

If you could spend a date night on Halloween and just eat candy and watch horror movies, which idol would you want to do it with?

Can you tell I’m excited for Halloween? it was hard to not make all 11 of these spooky themed lmao but anyways let’s get to tagging

@newkids-thefinal @gayforjiwon @tangerine-jinani @taecheeks @devilji @kxmwoojxn @junheeart @kuromatoki @minhosgf @shen-anakins @minbebee @mias97

#kjhbiunoji this took so damn long #i almost just closed the tab and said fuck this tag #who wouldve thought 22 questiosn would take almsot a full hour #im bad at putting my thoughts into words lmao #this post was also so fucking long i had to go back an edit a lot of it #oops #tagged

6 notes · View notes