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em-writes-stuff-sometimes · 5 months

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It's been a while. Sorry.

Hi, all.

I've had a couple people in my inbox asking where I am, if I'm okay, what's going on. And I just wanted to say I'm alright! At first, I wasn't online because I had a work project to do, which was taking up all my time.

At first.

Honestly, being offline has been great for me. Every single time I've thought about going back, I've gone into my Tumblr to find a new hate anon in my inbox (mostly centred around wanting me to KMS, etc.) or someone else in the fandom venting about cliques, bullies, hate anons or the like, and I've immediately been turned off. I'm so, so exhausted by all this.

I think it's fairly obvious to state that I don't like some people on here. That's fine, isn't it? Sometimes people just don't like each other, and everyone is entitled to their reasons for that. I've not brought those users up, not said a single word about any of them for ages, and I'd really like to keep it that way. Part of that has involved my choosing to disengage from users who frequently interact with them, and that's not because I hate those users or want to punish them for their friendships - I'd just prefer not to be reminded of anyone I've felt uncomfy with while on here, and I feel like that's a fair boundary to set? I would never ask anyone to stop being friends with people because that's a different bag of crazy than I am, but I also feel it's unfair to have to force myself to be okay with the names of users who I've had negative experiences with pop up on my dashboard all the time. It doesn't make for a healthy environment.

I guess the reason I bring that up is because I can't really fathom who else is sending me all this hate; I have to assume it's people who are upset that I've chosen to unfollow or stop engaging with, because I've blocked all the rest.

I'm honestly struggling to figure out why I'm so hated. I've only ever stood up for myself and for my friends. That's what friends do, isn't it? Stick up for each other? And sure, I've been unkind a couple times. It's human to not always be capable of rising above the shit that gets flung your way. But I don't know why that makes it okay to tell me that I'm so fat that I'm going to die, that people hope I die soon, that I must be ugly IRL which is why I'm clearly such a bitch, that I'm going to die alone with no one who cares about me, that I should be SA'ed, that I deserve to get beaten up and left for dead. I don't know why people want to say these things to me. I've never ever felt that strongly about someone, let alone angry enough to actually send them that kind of message. The worst message I've sent on here was actually to ewanmitchellcrumbs - spoiler, it's related to crackfics. All of those messages were cursed, lol. Who the fuck sends death threats on Tumblr anon?

That's on top of the constant vague-posting others do. I've been so offline that I barely check Tumblr, and it's not because I don't want to come back. I do. I just wish I wasn't slapped in the face by some new uprising of hate and toxicity every time I've tried. I'm paranoid. I don't know who to trust on here. I don't know who's being nice to my face and calling me shit behind my back. I don't know if people want me as a friend or think I have some sort of 'clout' they can piggyback off. To be clear, I don't. I doubt people care about any of my opinions, or my thoughts/feelings outside my writing. That's fine. I don't want to be a part of whatever cliquey shit people are always claiming there is. I don't know if people are talking about me when they're saying these things, because there's been one or two people I've fallen out with to go ahead and accuse me of it. I'm a person? Not a community? This isn't Mean Girls. I'm not Regina George. I'm not even Karen. The Plastics aren't real. I like what I like and who I like and it's just insane to me that there are people who think that's problematic. If they do, of course. Again, I'm really paranoid right now so dunno if people mean me by this or not. Point is, I don't know why people think others owe them engagement.

I can't keep doing the same thing over and over and wishing things would turn out differently. I think a certain scientist with frizzy hair said that's the definition of insanity. I'm tired of thinking I've found friends only to have them decide that I'm inherently unlikeable or worthless to them because I won't invest my all in promoting them like I'm a brand deal. I'm tired of people viewing this community like it's some sort of race to the top. I'm tired of the gaslighting. I'm tired of the insincerity. I'm tired of the rumours and the anons and the vent posts. I'm tired of people making sweeping statements about shit but never specifying anything, leaving everyone to wonder who the fuck is 'in' or 'out'.

I've been transparent on here. You can literally read accounts I wrote of ALL the quote-unquote "drama" I've been involved in. Who else can say the same? I'm not interested in hiding behind my words, or pointing my finger at the room but never at any ONE person, no, because who wants anyone to tell the truth ever? What you see is what you get with me. If I like you, I talk to you. If I don't, you've been blocked. Everyone else is neutral, either because of limited crossover or because we simply haven't had the chance to interact yet. There.

Anyway. I'm in a pretty negative headspace, but most of this has nothing to do with the people who read my stuff. Sorry if you followed for fic and got this. Yikes, right?

Dunno. This might be my last post for a while. This might be my last post ever. Or, this might be my return. I haven't decided yet. Hm. I'm feeling really bitter and alone and just ugh about fandom. Not writing, though. I want to write. Which is why I've decided that, if I do end up returning, I'm going to stick to my own bubble. Write fic. Post fic. Reblog gifs. Get out. Limit interaction outside my inbox where I can. Stick to fic. I've been burned too many damn times to do anything else.

So, yeah. That's what's on my mind, I think. Sorry if you were hoping for something a little less bleh.

Whatever I decide - for those of you that are following me, thank you. I've been so incredibly enriched by my experience here. I love HotD. I love my work. I'm proud. And I love you all.

#bit of a vent post honestly #soz #em writes stuff sometimes personal

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johaerys-writes · 12 days

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What inspired you to write Disasters?

Hi anon 💙 I've been trying to think of an answer to this ask since I got it and the truth is I'm really not sure? This story has been in my head in some shape or form for so long that I don't even know what started it in the first place. I guess it all started with the first modern AU I wrote, Like Friends Do, a one shot where Patroclus and Achilles grow up in modern Phthia and catch feelings for each other. The visuals in that story were so clear in my head and I found myself wanting to go back to that world somehow. I kept thinking of possible follow up fics and it never quite worked out, but as I kept imagining more scenes and situations Patroclus and Achilles might find themselves in, the background and plot kept getting richer and more detailed, until I almost had a full story of its own? But even when I finally started posting disasters I still didn't know how long or involved I wanted it to be, and it took me almost a year to make up my mind whether I wanted to actually write it out, so it was.... a process to say the least haha.

Another thing that inspired me was that I'd been craving a messy as hell coming of age story, one that would take place in a setting that's familiar to me, and I knew it was something I'd never be able to find until I wrote it for myself. In a way, disasters is a sort of love/hate letter to my own country and the culture I grew up in lol. Like there are many things I like about Greece and many more things I'm critical of and it felt good to have them in story form, ykwim? (A lot of people have told me that Phthia and Athens seem so dreamy when we see them through Patroclus' eyes in the story, and while I'm really happy about that, I also hope that the absolute misery of Pat going up Zografou hill on a packed 608 bus with no A/C in the middle of summer shines through as well LMAO)

Also it's like... every story I've written is personal in some way, but disasters was even more so because of how close to home it was I guess. Without even realising it I sort of found myself processing a lot of stuff re: having a weird childhood and an even more messed up adolescence, growing up autistic in a place/time where there was no recognition or support for it, losing a parent, dealing with trauma, trying to figure yourself out and making a royal mess of it, absolutely nothing making sense for years lol. I think a lot of us have been there or are still there, and it's such a gift to see the story resonate with others. That also inspired me a lot while I was writing it btw, the people from thousands of miles away who would comment after each chapter to tell me that they've had experiences that were similar to what they were reading and how much it touched them, like that's just wild to me 🥹 We all share a single braincell fr 🫶

Thank you so much for this ask!! I hope I answered somewhat cohesively haha.

#here's to processing the shit show that were your teenage years in your 30s 🫠#like i can't be the only one right #ALSO also. this fic like every fic is my love letter to those insane codependent messes #they're my no1 source of inspo for real. i am NEVER getting over them #they make me unwell #patrochilles #disasters au

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justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms · 6 months

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HIIII I see that u hv a match up goin on and Id like to try! Would u mind doing one for me with Obey Me?

Pronouns : She/they

Sexuality: Im not sure exactly??... still discovering but I know that I like both sexes

Infp 4w5 / Cancer sun Taurus moon n Scorpio rising (I saw some doing not just the sun sign so i think it would be fun if i include all 3 lol)

Appearance: Im South East Asian. Around 5'2. I hv shoulder length black hair, black eyes and olive toned skin. My hairstyle is akin to the jellyfish hair. I rarely wear makeup and would just hv my bare face out due to its sensitivity to breakouts. And my clothing, its mostly modest/covering for academic places or just comfy and quick with any cool baggy tees i hv. Its my current closet, since i dont hv much occasions to go grand and i just wanna blend in with everyone around me lookin like an npc. But id love to wear more self expressing stuff in the future, to my desire. More accessories, colorful makeups and fashions like dark couquette/gyaru or so!

Personality: My personality, id say its two sided. I guess hv an open mind and easy going (to some degree ofc). A dream chaser and a listener. Sometimes (just sometimes), i can get my mind through a problem and stay grounded. Im also empathic? I like consoling with people and I appreciate the smallest details. I feel for people's struggle and I hold hopes in them. However, i can get moody, its so unexpected and intense that even im scared of it. I can be very quiet then, and dissociative. Id just want to be alone by that time to figure out my situation. Ive been said to appear gloomy or hard to approach too :cry: If im pissed, im venomous. And im actually an anxious person, of all sorts of things. Self deprecating too, i almost forgot abt that. But if i feel suitable, i get funky and enjoy myself hehe.

Likes/Dislikes : I like visual novels, rhythm games and those with good storytelling; a variety of music genres that focus on melody, instrument, composing; local asian food; sleeping with plushies; arts n crafts; esoteric things; philosophy study; my friends; solitude and continuation; aesthetic or hidden values and uhhh nice, mannered intriguing people.

I dont like smelly people doe. People who are narrow minded icks me oops. Pls dont tryna barge in on me when im busy unless it helps. I hate the sun... And not getting myself tented after a long day. I dislike my parents as well, yikes. Worst of all, being opressed.

Hobbies : doll, bracelet making; drawing, online shopping, rhythm game arcade, reading philosophy works, uhh getting invested in random medias...

Anyways, thats my submission! If u do reply, tysm for the matchup!!!

Hi Anon! Thank you for the request! I hope you like your matchup!

In Obey Me, I match you with...

Asmo is the best person to hype you up about wearing more self-expressing things. He’s great at putting outfits together and will give you honest and genuine feedback.

Doesn’t mind your personality changes. He knows what mood swings are like so he’s very understanding.

Please go online shopping with him! But set a budget because you’re both liable to get caught up in the energy and spend too much. But online shopping with Asmo would be so much fun.

Not great at giving you alone time but if you say you need some space, he’ll respect your wishes. While you’re enjoying your alone time, he’ll do a spa day or hang out with some of his friends.

Asmo loves your plushies. He thinks they’re really cute and, if you’re okay with it, would love to borrow some of them to sleep with as well. He’ll take good care of them and swaps them out occasionally so you’ve got a constantly rotating roster of plushies in your room.

#writing #fanfic #matchup #matchup request #request #obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me nightbringer #asmodeus

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alphacrone · 6 months

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20 questions game!

thanks for the tag @displayheartcode ~

tagging @eskildit @ghosthorse @injustspring and whomstever else

How many works do you have on AO3?

119! but i also used to have a livejournal and three different ff.net accounts so....there's definitely a lot more floating around out there.............

2. What's your total AO3 words count?

598,242

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently only Lockwood & Co., but I used to write a lot of Check, Please! back in the day.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

lol they're all OMGCP. like a handprint on my heart (2,880 kudos), i'll see you with your laughter lines (2 412 kudos), until your father's at the table (1 702), smaller than dust on this map (1 222), Blue-Eyed Jack (1 051)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes! i want people to know how much I appreciate their feedback, and i enjoy interacting with the community. if i didn't, i wouldn't publish my fic i would just hoard it for myself haha

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

hmmmmm well i do like to kill main characters for the angst so probably either rage, rage against the dying of the light (lockwood fic written I think right after Whispering Skull came out? god what a cheesy title) or anything for one more hour of light (written for the check please heartbreak 2017 fest)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i tend towards happy endings in fic so that's a lot of them lol. maybe like a handprint on my heart?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i get occassionally rude comments on ao3 itself but never anything really bad. i used to get quite a few nasty anons on here though. some people will REALLY go out of their way to tell you exactly why your writing is cringe.

9. Do you write smut. If so what kind?

i did during my stint in the check, please! fandom but i don't really write it anymore. i would definitely call my past smut messy (in many ways).

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i like to do crossover AUs -- harry potter aus, hunger games aus, etc. -- but I cannot remember the last time I did a proper crossover. it might've been back in my twilight days, if ever.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i'm aware of! i honestly haven't even heard of fic stealing since the days of ff.net but i guess it's not surprising it's still rampant

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! at least one in russian, i want to say another in mandarin. i would have to go back and find them, and some might be gone.

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

not fully cowritten, but @ghosthorse and i like to plot out stories together. we have a couple original stories half-baked in google docs from when we were living in different states and got REALLY bored at work.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

my ships change with the tides. i'm a pretty big sucker for locklyle, though, and zimbits. i tend towards rare-pairs and non-canon pairings though.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

every WIP i've ever started lol. but i would like to get back to for it's better to burn out than to fade out of sight (fruits basket) though i doubt i will.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I tend to capture the voices of characters decently well. I love writing dialogue and banter.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

EVERYTHING ELSE HAHAHAHAHHA (crying). I've been told my writing is very cringy and I tend to agree. I struggle with plot and pacing, I don't spend enough time on setting or building up to important scenes/moments, I almost never edit before I post, I'm very bad about contradicting myself between chapters or creating plot holes, I overuse adjectives and adverbs and commas and em-dashes and semicolons, I love a run-on sentence, I misuse big words, and I have a tendency to rely too heavily on the same couple of phrases -- e.g. taken aback, testament to, gave them pause, blood ran cold, face grew hot, etc.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I generally don't do it, but if you do, run it by a native speaker first.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

First wrote for Harry Potter or Bartimaeus, first published for Twilight. (Okay not QUITE accurate. I technically published HP fic but on my own shitty HTML website. My dad wouldn't let me join any fic site because I was too young, but he saw it as a great chance to get my to learn HTML. It was called "Visions of Red and Gold" and I posted my shitty fanfiction and mine and my friends' fanart.) This was the image on the home page that you had to select to get into the site:

Yikes!

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

oh this is hard. i'm currently very fond of Jessica Lockwood’s Home for Misfit Ghost Hunters, it's been a delight to work on. but my all-time fave is probably until your father's at the table. it was incredibly cathartic to write.

#anna writes things

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slytherinshua · 9 months

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How long does it usually take you to write fics ? I feel like whenever I try to write one it takes months to even get an idea 😭 Do you have any tips on how to work on motivations ? It’s like I’ve had writer’s block for the last 2 years.

anon 😭 i feel honored that you wanted to ask me for advice 😭 so i'll try my best 😭 for me it really depends on the fic. usually if i get an idea for a fic or i get a request that i really really like, i'll rush to write the fic immediately. sometimes i'll finish a fic in one or two sittings (a couple hours of writing probably depending on the length), and sometimes i'll write a bit for the fic and then sort of abandon it because i've lost motivation. i have around 50 or more unfinished fics in my drafts, some of which will probably never get finished??

writer's block rly is the worst and whenever i'm struggling with it even for a day, it feels like weeks of not being able to write. sometimes its because none of the ideas i have are inspiring me, and i guess sometimes its just cause the words aren't coming out easily. but when this happens i try to think of something to small to write, like a timestamp for example. the task of writing a couple hundred words vs a couple thousand is a lot more doable when you're already struggling with writing. so i would definitely suggest starting small.

for inspiration or ideas for fics, i get a lot of them just by looking at pictures of who i'm writing for. if i really really want to write a soobin fic for example, but i don't have an idea, i'll almost always go to pinterest and just look. a lot of the time an idea will come from just looking at a particular photo.

another thing that helps is trying to write a new trope or au. having the loose plot or basis of a fic can help you think of how to write it. lets say i found this picture on pinterest of soobin:

and this picture gave me the idea to write a royalty au for him. so now we know we're going to do a royal setting. the next thing i would think about is whether i want it to be modern or more medieval, and for now i'm going to pick medieval. so let's say soobin is the personal guard for the princess (y/n) and we'll add in forbidden love as a trope to add conflict. so now we have the basis of the fic and the setting the trope to include etc etc, so now we can start writing.

using this process is really really helpful for me. start out with a photo, find an idea you like based on that photo and build it up from there. it can be really simple and small as well, it doesn't have to be as complicated as an entire royalty au with soobin lol

another thing i will say is the fics i post are so varied. for example yesterday i posted 3 fics: jeonghan, woojin, and sejun.

the jeonghan fic was from a request i had gotten recently and i only just started writing it and finished it in one sitting. it was a shorter fic and was just short and fluffy.

the woojin fic wasn't from a request, it was just something i wanted to write for myself. it ended up being longer and even though i started and finished it in one sitting, there was ideas i pulled from a lot of different places. the basis of the fic was inspired by woojin's song purple sky, the beginning part was slightly inspired by true beauty, and the ending came to me while writing. i think once you start writing, the fic can sometimes just come to you and flow easily until you finish it.

lastly the sejun fic was from an old request. like months old request if i remember correctly. it was half written and i had kinda abandoned it for a while, waiting for when i would get motivation to write it again. and sometimes you just have to wait until you are ready to write a certain fic again. sometimes trying to force out the words doesn't work and you end up with a result that you really hate and are frustrated with (this has happened to me a lot).

i know this was really long, but i hope it helped you even just a bit (idk whether i was actually giving solid advice or just bullshitting my way through this????) but ig the main takeaways are:

it's normal for some fics to take a long time to finish, it really just depends on the fic

start out small when you are struggling with writer's block as you are more likely to end up with a fic you are happy with (and finishing a fic and being proud of what you've written can snowball into more writing motivation!!)

if you are struggling for inspiration, try to find ideas from photos or just anything around you

it might seem like all these blogs are so active and have no problem producing fic after fic *cough yena/fairyhaos how tf do u do it cough*, but we all have our struggles and we ALL experience writer's block and have to overcome it. so don't give up and power through it, anon 🫶

#zanna answers the inbox!!#anon ⌦ .｡.:*♡#i tried to be thorough #but tbh idk what this is #but i rly hope it helps!!

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viscountessevie · 2 years

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Part 2: What The Cast Should Have Done

READ PART 1 FIRST - IT’S THE MAIN FOCUS

First off, I would like to say I’m disappointed at myself for prematurely bringing up Jonny’s name before I had these two posts written up. I shouldn’t have done that at all. Clarifying my point again too early made it worse. Suddenly, even though my original post asked about what you all thought of Regé posting his story and his POV, my ask box was just either flooded with defending/being curious about what Jonny did or being against him for this. It completely ended up centring the conversation on Regé’s white cast mates.

This was on me for prematurely bringing up Jonny’s name and not thinking it through, and I deeply regret that. Also definitely time for us to check our bias & blindspots as always, to think about how and why we quickly started talking more about Jonny.

That being said, here's my points along with the takeaways I’ve gotten after hearing my friends (the same ones tagged in Part 1!) out on this. A special shoutout to Triv @hptriviachamp who pretty much co-wrote this with me since she provided her thoughts/answers to my asks so I’ll be quoting her most of them time below.

Okay so I’ve said this a couple times before but going to reiterate it one last time. I only placed importance on Jonny before because I don’t expect shit from the rest of them and Phoebe is already pretty much being written out of the show at this point. However that aside, the onus is not just on Jonny or Phoebe to protect their onscreen partners but the whole cast and crew could have done what ROP and Kenobi did.

ROP made the solidarity statement seen in Regé’s story which can be found here. With Kenobi, they had Ewan McGregor, a representative of the show aka the face/star of the show, to speak out for everyone.

From the chronically online NC to no social media Luke T/Claudia: all these people, especially white people, have the power to do/say something. Luke could find another way to communicate this. Nicola could learn and stop saying bullshit. They have interviews and live events they always do. Yt people don't know how to be allies or even what an ally is - this is very apparent in our own fandom as well.

Now I’m bringing in my anons to further illustrate these points and expand on them! So I've gotten a couple of different anons with conflicting views. I think it's one of those situations where both things can be true so I am putting all of them here to let them speak for themselves before elaborating:

Triv: It’s upsetting that "they'd never do it" but we should try to hold them to a higher standard anyway

Yeah we know this, that the Production side especially the higher ups you listed along with JQ and some cast members - we all know who - perpetuate this. However, if they really wanted sell this ‘great’ “diversity is why we are set apart from other media” lie to us even more, a solidarity statement when #NotMyDuke was trending or racist hate at Simone and Charithra was being thrown, would have definitely shown the cast of colour they had the support of their show.

Production can pretend not to perpetuate it all they want, but showing that kind of solidarity and support against racist 'fans' would have gone a long way and made the cast of colour feel safer. Like Triv said it's about holding them to a higher and better standard and honestly it's THE LEAST Regé deserved especially as a lead and draw of S1. [Of course goes without saying this applies to Simone in S2 as well.]

(Also Anon I’m guessing you may have sent this ask to Mimi? We don’t have to agree with everything and that’s okay! I have friends on both sides of the Kathony subfandom and I never fully agree with any of them lol. Some like Showina a little more than I do and some dislike (putting it lightly oop) Showina a little more than I do. It’s our difference is what makes us unique and the important thing is grounding ourselves, respecting and putting each other first - anyways if this not you nor about me oops ignore this but a good side lesson for everyone nonetheless)

With this ask in particular, I understand your frustration but we really need to look at this situation through the lens of intersectionality which I can provide as a queer POC. While it's no oppression Olympics, I will say growing up I did get more racially charged abuse swung my way than I did for being queer. Then again, this is my personal experience.

I think we can all respect Jonny, his sexuality and acknowledge that he does get hate for it and call it out. At the same time, we can point out that he along with the rest of the white cast could have done more especially given their position of power with production and the fans compared to their cast of colour counterparts. I don't think these points are mutually exclusive.

Triv's take: Marginalized groups should uplift one another. I think it's wrong to expect more from Johnny specifically (it applies to everyone regardless of race or sexual orientation and white people should be allies regardless) but we should expect more from the entire cast, crew, and especially the people at the top who set the standard for the cast culture. I wasn't a big believer on the importance of "culture" in a work environment until I started mock my freshman year and the team was getting out of a very toxic era (in terms of hazing, no solidarity, and lack of diversity) and over the past 4 years I've seen that transition to a better culture because my coaches and captains are very explicit about team culture and literally make ppts about it. Culture matters.

Putting these two together because they are similar in calling out the ‘main/flagship’ actors of the show and I’ve talked about how we should be putting it on everyone already so just going to let these anons say their piece and close it off with Trivia’s take:

That's a very interesting point about the "main people" like Coughlan and Jonny having more of a duty to uplift people of color... I'm unsure if I agree (as opposed to all of them having that duty) but I guess... it depends on how much power they actually have within the show and whether we think they inherently have more power as white people (which they do) to the extent where we should put more of an onus on them. Real change comes in the form of the people at the top supporting them and ensuring they get promo and interviews and whatnot. It's not about the individual (Jonny, Coughlan, whatever) but about the group

Triv is absolutely right and she pretty much said it all so I don’t have anything to add on this front.

In conclusion, I think despite Production perpetrating it, the show still should have protected Regé when the ‘fans’ were being shitty. If the cast didn’t want to bite the hand that puts them on the payroll, again they could have just called out the so-called fans. That way, it was still a show of public support and standing up for their cast mates.

It would also have shut down the hate to a certain extent for those yts to know that their bigotry is frowned upon by their white faves. After all, they only listen to each other it seems. Maybe it may have even curbed how a lot of the fandom bigots behave on here and it would actually feel like a safer space for minority fans. However, none of that happened and we all have to live with the landscape we have now. Living with it obviously doesn’t mean we just take it lying down - we should never ever stop calling these people out. They feel uncomfortable? Good. They don’t even feel the half of what we all go through seeing them post racially ignorant bullshit ‘thinly veiled’ in their posts.

Finally, I just sincerely hope that Regé got the support and love he deserved behind the scenes with his own circle of friends and loved ones. I hope Simone and every other future POC lead and ensemble character gets the same from their own circle since no one is publicly standing up for them - definitely not in the explicit way it needs to be done to get people to back off.

Final note: Thank you all so much for reading and I hope the wait was worth it. This being said, writing this up took a lot out of me. I knew I was going to press pause on discourse asks for a while after posting this as I expanded on the type of posts I wanted to blog on here. However, taking about half a week to write all this and kind of stressing about it at times, made me realise I do need the break. Don’t worry I’ll still be in the drama loop reblogging asks and posts from my other friends, just won’t be making my own discussion posts for a while. Hope yall understand!

#Bridgerton #Regé Jean Page #Bridgerton Cast #Bridgerton Racism #Bridgerton Fandom Racism #Jonathan Bailey #Simone Ashley #I wanna tag you know who but not worth having her stans in my comments #Also asks are still closed til I can finish clearing most of them #I'm not afraid of the hate I just don't like the number 62 staring at me lmao #Bridgerton Asks

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snellyfish · 2 years

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oh good lord--

To preface, it’s impossible to keep this as short as possible while still getting my point across clear enough, because if there’s one thing I’ve learned from the Danganronpa fandom it’s that people love misinterpreting the Hell out of each other. This is not meant to be the public’s issue, I wanted to keep this quiet because it literally does not concern anyone else in the slightest, but I’ve been hearing more and more instances for the past few months of me being repeatedly slandered and shit-talked in both servers AND in public posts (vague or not), and my refusal to feed into the terminally online community’s craving for niche fandom discourse is not helping my case, since no one’s getting a chance to hear my side. But my desire to keep personal issues personal does not equal blind racism. Lol.

To put this into context for anyone who’s unaware:

AS FAR AS I’M AWARE-- The only claim of racism towards me is about me feeding into Angie’s islander stereotype in the content I have made about her in the past. Which I understand, I see, I’ve heard people with islander ancestry’s take on it and I hear them, I’ve heard both sides from islanders and I don’t know what to think in the end. It’s a much greyer area than one white internet activist would think.

Ultimately, Angie is not a character I want to make in-depth content for anymore, (been that way for a while, honestly, dunno how obvious that’s been) I don’t know how to properly handle her but some people seem very confident they’re doing it perfectly right, so I’ll just let them do their thing I guess lmao. I’ve heard out one islander, who said that her entire character in general is bad, making content for her character is bad, liking her in any form is bad, to them she is entirely irredeemable. And I respect that. The white person who started this spiel about me is an avid creator for content of her, (last I saw? I personally don’t hatestalk them back so idk) but they do it in what they deem a more acceptable way. Are they right to still make content about a character that islanders are horrendously uncomfortable with? I don’t care at this point, I really don’t have a say in this, I am white, too, afterall! But if I’m gonna be put down for my portrayal, I only hope they’ve listened to actual islanders too.

I entirely stopped making blood sacrifice/ritual stuff with Angie for almost a year at this point and people still aren’t happy. I have avoided the word Atua for most of my time in the fandom and people still aren’t happy. Who am I making happy at this point? Literally just myself? The handful of people who tell me so? My followers who only care that I’m drawing their blorbos and will happily skip over a post like this?

Angie is a sensitive character. Characters representing any harmful stereotypes are sensitive. POC characters in general are sensitive--especially if they’re dark skinned and foreign to their setting.* I understand this, and I don’t wish to try and portray these characters beyond a simple drawing because I like their designs, personalities, ships, or whatever else.

*Sensitive as in they HAVE to be handled by the right person who understands all the nuances and good representation, not to mention some cultures should exclusively be written by those who live(d) that life. I don’t think I’m fit for that as of now but I’m learning, (Only took a LOT of vagueposts, anon hate as well as direct hate, and no one trying to Actually listen to me or explain to me what I’m doing wrong before having it dramatically blow up but...alas) I only ask people to have patience with me (and anyone for that matter!) trying to better themselves, and let the past be the past.

I have trans friends who are entirely uncomfortable with any mention of Chihiro or Mondo. I have trans friends who embrace both of them.

I have lesbian friends who are uncomfortable with Tenko. I have lesbian friends who embrace her.

I’ve listened to an islander talk about how they’re entirely uncomfortable with any mention of Angie. I’ve seen islanders embrace her.

I understand now that my attachment to Angie and lack of public acknowledgement of the clear racism in her character that I somehow overlooked for a long time is...well... kinda bad. To be as honest as possible, I feel obligated to admit the first thing that made me love Angie when I first played V3 was that she was a quirky sacrificial freak, because I LOVE that in fictional characters. I LOVE weird characters who stand out like that with taboo themes. So...after realizing how harmful that is, being informed it’s a stereotype, and coming to terms with the fact my favorite thing about her ended up being something racist, it’s very difficult for me to actively enjoy her because sometimes people even get upset at the portrayal of her literally just being a “weird girl.” Hell, I’ve seen people completely erase religion from her character in an attempt to “fix” her even more!

I’ve had people of color inform me my Angie portrayal is their favorite they’ve seen. I’ve had white people inform me my Angie portrayal is racist. And without cherry picking, I’ve heard it the other way around for both sides, too. I know I’m a broken record at this point so I’ll wind this down, but I don’t think anyone is anymore right than the other, no matter how much each party vehemently believes otherwise. I just don’t like how elitist this fandom can be, man. I’ve always tried to portray Angie in a significantly brighter light than most anyone else I see, so I think my initial stubbornness with this whole situation was caused by how everyone just sees her as an evil antagonist, and I thought that they thought I was doing the same? I dunno. Maybe that’s unrelated at this point. Either way--

I am sorry.

I apologize to anyone who might be personally offended by my portrayal of an islander, if anyone wants to talk to me about it and help me see any clearer, please do! That being said, I do NOT apologize to the non-islanders (mostly white people) who attack me for this and won’t accept someone trying to move on from their wrongdoings. Thank you for reading.

TLDR;; Is Angie’s character inherently racist? Yes. Have I drawn and written into that stereotype ignorantly? Yes. Did I initially handle this wrong but have now realized my mistakes? Yes. Have I apologized for this already and acknowledge what I’ve done? Yes! Am I free from this year-long hell yet? No, but hopefully soon. 🥴

Also...

I appreciate the apology, thank you, this ask honestly gave me a chuckle because I read it before the first ask LOL. I only pray next time you come to anyone with super serious claims you have something to back it up, or any context. And to keep it in a DM where it’s less hostile. I don’t think anyone’s going to get mad at you for genuinely wanting their input on something wrong they may or may not be doing. Doing it anonymously feels aggressive and careless, it forces it to be public discourse.

Hatestalkers if you’re reading this, can you PLEASE leave me alone, you already blocked me man, let me go,, the crash was 9+ months ago 😭😭😭 if you guys aren’t letting go of this I can’t really either

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lanterne · 2 years

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(anon who replied to your post) just now saw the edits plus the rbs and yeah i totally agree! again i do think it's always prefaced with that "yes he's nuanced not perfect" bc of that common perception and it sucks bc like you pointed out it's always him contrasted w more moderate danton/more idolized napoleon/more pitied louis xvi... and i qlso super agree w the replier who mentioned how it's bc robespierre (as well as marat, who in my experience is even more reduced to a thermidorian caricature) really represents revolution, more so than danton (a bit of an opportunist, shall we say) and napoleon (needs no explanation). it really is a shame.

honestly i think my perspective's skewed, i may have curated my consumption a bit Too much HDHHS, since i think i personally encounter more criticism of these more popular figures than is pop culture and ofc that alters my perception of them. but overall i do agree with all of y'all's points and really appreciate all your insights :)))

No no I agree, I think my perspective is skewed too, so I've been thinking maybe I should let myself romantize him a little since in the grand scheme of things, he's still seen as literally Satan lmao 🙃 I just get worried that i make him sound like he's too good and im setting ppl up for disappointment if they research more, but lol anything questionable he did isn't as bad as what everyone else thinks he did so... I guess we can have some idealized robespierre as a treat 🤷🏽

But yeah, I hang out with people that mostly hate napoleon, so it always comes as a shock to see people openly admire him lmao

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torchickentacos · 2 years

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would you ever consider writing the events that led up to morning after melancholy?

Hi anon! I'm glad you liked it but here's a long answer because I want to be really careful with this. Discussion of NSFW themes below, but in a serious discussion way and not a hot way, unless complex discourse gets you going I guess.

Assuming you're asking if I would write the spicy stuff the night before and not, like, a prequel, then here's the thing about Morning After Melancholy. I was incredibly deliberate in how I wrote it-I wanted it to be clear that the morning after situation was instrumental to the character study, since that's basically what that was-an exploration of Drew's worries and overthinking, and how that coexists with tenderness and intimacy. I tried to edge around the nsfw context as much as I could while still setting up that intimacy. Because the core issue here is, I write mostly contestshipping in this space. That ship requires aging up and I have seen some opinions lately that see aging up as, like, a cop-out or as an excuse to write weird stuff in some people's eyes? While I disagree, some people say aging up is not valid if characters are minors in canon and that it's just an excuse creeps use to write about minors. Which, obviously I do NOT do because fucking ew, but I don't want people to put me in the same box as weirdos if I age up. I also see a lot of discomfort with adult works in fandoms right now in general, whether it's appropriately tagged or not. Now, I don't think anyone is about to accuse me of pedophilic condent or whatever if I did age them up and write nsfw works-I sure hope not, anyways. However, that's not a chance I'm sure I want to take. And not just because of my 'reputation' or whatever, but because I want the things I make to have a positive effect on people, not to make them uncomfortable. I would HATE if someone liked some of my stuff, realized I also wrote nsfw of aged up characters, and then couldn't enjoy my writing anymore. And I have pushed the rating a bit before with some old works on old accounts-I've been publishing fic since I was around fourteen, I've been in the gave for a while now. But I've always tried to show a sense of restraint since I don't want to make others uncomfortable (even if it was properly tagged and they still slicked into it), and I also, perhaps selfishly, don't want to make myself a target for discourse around whether or not aging up is valid.

So, my conclusion is... maybe? If people want me to provide spicier content I could, theoretically, but not if it's at the expense of someone's perspective on my works. So, if anyone else wants that (assuming I can even finish a fic, you're putting a lot of faith in me anon lol), then feel free to comment your viewpoints or to also go in anon and I PROMISE I will provide a safe and calm, nice discussion space for it. I will never make someone feel bad for their opinions unless it's like, obviously icky. So, yeah. If I get feedback from people with their opinions I can consider it but until then I'm afraid I wouldn't do that, anon.

Side note. I'm also, like, hella a virgin and not sure I can even write what people really want in the nsfw sense lol. I wrote smut aproximately ONCE, orphaned it immediately because it SUCKED (no pun intended), and never looked back lol. I know two mutuals have read it and to that I say one, HOW since I'm almost certain I never advertised that damn thing and two thank you for still supporting me after reading that goddamn experimental mess lmao.

#serious #ask #thank you anon!#fic #let's keep it civil please #my inbox is ALWAYS open but please respect eachother #and me hopefully

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jeonqkooks · 1 year

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Hi Jen! It’s 🎭 anon! Have you been to NYC? It’s one of my favourite cities in the world and my future home because of my career.

I have a love hate relationship with NYC, but if your dreaming of the city, I feel that it’s a place you need to experience in person (if you haven’t already!) — nothing you see on video will compare with what it’s like IRL! However, it’s truly a city that never sleeps and it’s exciting everyday.

I used to dream of living in NYC too, so I only wanted to attend university there (Im not from the US), but now I feel much more at home moving to NYC after college instead of going to school there! I feel like I personally need thicker skin and more gumption to survive and thrive there!

hi!! i’ve never been to nyc, so i guess it’s kinda silly of me to be obsessed with it while having never set foot there lol 😭 but yes! i know nothing i see onscreen will ever prepare me for the real thing, and i know that a lot of people are gonna think pfffft i’m so naive for glamorizing and romanticizing new york, concrete jungle where dreams are made of and going there to “find myself” and whatnot, but sue me!! 😭 when i was in uni i did used to fantasize about going to school in nyc a lot (parsons is my dream school 🥹🥹 and i do still sometimes think about going to grad school at nyu), and now someone from my major in uni is doing her master’s at nyu so y’know………. Big Sad whenever i watch her insta stories lol, but i reckon i wouldn’t have survived being a broke college student in nyc lmao 😵‍💫 but omg, your future home?! that’s so exciting babe !! ideally i wanna pursue a career in media/publishing so i feel like it’s also a good city for that, omg isn’t it so thrilling to think that we could some day be in the same city 🥹 so yeah, currently the plan is to just save up a ton and in a few years, find a good job there so i could move 🥹🥹

#🎭 anon #answered

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salsdemise · 3 years

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Can I request a Sally face x reader fic? Possibly a confession and first kiss an da party or something like that, thank you!

Hey anon, sorry if this is bad, I'm assuming you meant sal, and if not just lmk and I'll re-write this for another character if you want.

Warnings: Underage drinking, underaged smoking, parties, y/n used in place of your name, really awkward with the confession part? idk how to write those

word count: 1479

other: gender neutral terms used, sal's speech is in blue bc sometimes its unclear whos talking bc i didn't know what to put between the words spoken lol playlist listened to while writing: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5SMv6Go27KIcbfL07wkQ4m

This party wasn’t where you wanted to be right now. Hell, you’d rather be at school, getting pushed around by the kids in the hall right now. Anywhere was better than this loud, flashy,party filled with the smell of cigs, weed, alcohol and sex wafting off of every teen you passed.

Why you had come to this party in the first place had slipped your mind, as now you were more focused on not getting backed into a corner with a potted plant by a group of your peers. Maybe it was because your friend Larry wouldn’t shut up about how fun it was going to be, maybe it was because you would have felt bad saying no, or maybe it was because you certainly weren’t going to pass up on an opportunity to potentially hang out with Sal Fisher, your long time crush and close friend.

Holding your now empty red cup, you navigated your way through the crowd of drunken and dancing teens, most who were nice and giggly as you passed, slurring apologies at you if they bumped you.

While you weren’t all sober yourself, you had enough remaining cognitive ability to form full thoughts, and the only one on your mind was finding one of two people; Sal or Larry. You had no doubt Larry was off smoking with gods know who, so that left one option, and if your brain wasn’t mistaking you, you had seen the electric-bluenette near the door to the backyard in the kitchen not too long ago. So that’s where you set your sights.

When you arrived at the kitchen, you were happy to know that you were indeed correct on where you had last seen Sal, just outside on the patio, sitting hunched over a cup, the bottom straps of his prosthetic undone and dangling. Murmuring a few ‘excuse me’s at the teens you passed on the way, you made your way out to the back, opening and exiting the door and catching the bluenette’s attention. Seating yourself next to him, you said nothing, not sure of what to say.

“Didn’t think you’d actually show. Lar said you were coming, but I thought he was bluffing again,” Sal spoke, sipping on his drink.

You laughed at this, “yea, no, he actually convinced me to come. Not sure how, but he did. Honestly, I didn’t think I’d see you here either. You always talk about how much you hate parties, especially ones that have inebriating drinks,” you set your cup down next to you, and a small breeze knocked it over as soon as your hand left it.

“I don’t, hate em. Managed to get someone to get me something non-alcoholic, though. What have you had to drink?” He motioned to your, now rolling, red cup to emphasize.

“Oh, nothing too strong. They had a punch bowl in there so I took some of that,” thinking back to it as you spoke, it was odd the hosts of this party put a punch bowl out at a party with no need for it. However, you and Sal both seemingly shrugged it off and continued talking.

Conversation between the two of you had always come so naturally, switching between topics and tones, talking about people, your home state, his home state, and the likes.

“Man, I cannot believe he did that! It was like, super awkward between us for a week,“ you laughed, finishing a story about how Larry had tried to ask you out when high. Luckily the guy wasn’t too upset and took no for an answer.

“Hey, y/n, about asking people out...have you ever done it?” Sal questioned, messing with his sweater sleeves now that his drink was gone and his cup had also flown off.

“Oh, uh, not like, here at Nockfell, but in the past I asked a guy in my grade to go to a valentine’s day dance with me. Why?” you responded, tilting your head at him.

“I want to ask this person out, but I’m not sure how.”

“Oh. Well, what do they like? How long have you known them? And how close are you two? You can’t just ask out a random person you barely know, it won’t go well.”

“Well, they like a lot so it’s...kinda hard to put into words. I’ve known them for years now, and I’d like to say we’re pretty close.”

Thinking, you went quiet. As much as it hurt you to know your crush liked someone else, you were going to help him as best you could.

“Well, I’d give them a note, personally. I’d probably piss myself if I tried to tell them upfront. But it depends on how you wanna do it.”

Sal quietly thinks for a few seconds before standing up and fixing his mask, “Thanks for your help dude. We should get going, I’ll go find Larry and we can get out of here.”

You nod, standing and following Sal back into the house, heading for the front door while Sal went off to find Larry. With your mutual friend acquired, you all left for home, depositing Larry at his place and heading to your own beds, tired now that the social buzz had worn off.

Over the next week, you and Sal talked less and less, notes popped up in your locker, and small things like patches, stickers, pins and snacks appeared with them. You were confused to say the least. You loved everything this admirer gave you, and the notes were adorable, even if they were typed and printed rather than hand written, but you wondered why Sal had stopped talking to you as often as he did.

As the weeks progressed, you had started to like the secret admirer that was leaving you small gifts and notes reminding you how much they liked you. But the most recent note, which you had gotten on a sunny and warm Wednesday, really caught your attention. This time, it was handwritten in blue pen ink, the handwriting surprisingly neat, completely eliminating who you thought it was.

The note read: “y/n, meet me in the courtyard during lunch/break time. -<3”, and not wanting to disappoint, you waited with an uneasy shake until lunch came around where you went straight to the courtyard. Seeing no one, you sat on the ground by a tree to wait until your secret admirer got there.

10 minutes later, the heavy doors opened and closed with a thud, catching your attention and causing you to look up where you saw Sal, mask in hands, and looking down.

“Sal? Are you the one that wanted to meet me here?” You were..puzzled to say the least. Sal had hardly talked to you in weeks, and you thought he liked someone else like Ash, but it seems you were mistaken.

“Uh, yea, I am. I know you’re..probably upset at me for not talking to you in the past few weeks, but I didn’t want to say something stupid too soon. I hope you’re not too mad..”

“Sal, I’m not mad. I thought you were busy trying to get your mystery person to like you..and I guess I was right, but I didn’t think it’d be me..”

“Who else would it have been? You and I are as close as Larry and I are, we like the same things and I’ve known you since you got here. Hell, I’ve been pining over you for years now, but last year when Lar told me he was gonna try and shoot his shot, I tried to get myself to like Ash so I wouldn’t feel like shit if you said yes.”

“Oh, Sal. I thought it was Ash, you talk so much about her sometimes, I thought you actually liked her.”

“Oh, no, I don’t. She helped me with this, actually. Which reminds me, if its not obvious already, I really fucking like you. Like, you make me feel happy and just thinking about you makes me feel like I’m on cloud nine.”

Smiling at his words you stood to go over to him, putting your hands on his shoulders so he would look up at you, “I like you too, Sal. Like, a lot. I have for a while, and when you asked how to ask someone out,I..it hurt a little bit.”

Saying nothing at your words, Sal moved forward and wrapped you in a hug, his mask landing in the grass behind you two. Before you could return the hug, Sal backed up and his hands grabbed your face pulling you in for a kiss. Giving you time to react this time, you kissed back, your hands placing themselves over his.

Now, sitting at a college party with your boyfriend, you think to yourself, ‘Maybe parties aren’t so bad after all.’

#sally face #sal fisher #sally face x reader #sally face game #sal fisher x y/n #gn!reader

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sketching-shark · 3 years

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LMK fandom: Oh, what do we do about this guy who has nothing but hurt Xiaotian, tried to replace Sun Wukong and his crew, hurt Tripitaka and ordered servants to cannibalize a monkey? Oh I know! We’ll turn him into our little meow meow~ he’s so innocent and Sun Wukong is obviously the villain!

What doesn’t help is this idea is perpetuated by multiple fan fic writers and artists for some reason. Especially some aus they make that turn SWK into a bastard for the sake of the story rather than considering cultural context and thinking they should be respectful.

And almost everyone lets them get away with it just because the art or fanfic is good and they get so popular that no one can point what is actually wrong without feeling like they’re going to get attacked.

I'm starting to feel like my blog is the one anons go to specifically to vent their frustrations about the Six Eared Macaque in his lego monkey show form & the associated fandom lmao. But I guess this makes sense, as I’ve had fun quasi-dragging him before & will in fact use this anon submission as an opportunity to have my own, to put it academically, bitch fest about not just this fandom's favorite protagonist-traumatizing meow meow, but about the way villains are often treated in not just fanon, but increasingly in canon works as well. But same policy as with the last anon; I'll post my opinions below the cut, and as fandoms love to say, don’t like don't read if you don't want to see me dunking on the six eared simian & common fandom tendencies towards villains.

Oh man I would say where would you even begin with this but anon you’ve pretty much started yourself with my main gripe with a lot of ways that the Six-Eared Macaque is portrayed in fandom; there seems to be this unspoken agreement that his acts of violence towards Sun Wukong, Qi Xioatian, and Qi Xioatian’s loved ones are either to be framed as somewhat or totally justified, to be immediately forgiven/excused, or to simply & completely be ignored. Like friends maybe this is just me not seeing the proper posts but while the fandom is inundated with art and fanfics of Macaque as a generally decent individual & a true member of team good guy, I have yet to see one person address the fact that this monkey literally kidnapped & mind-controlled Xiaotian’s best friend and father figures & forced them to brutalize Xiaotian while ol’ Six Ear looked on and laughed (X_X). Like this kind of fandom villain treatment is definitely not something that’s solely at work for Monkie Kid, but it is kind of nutty how fandoms will swing between yelling that people should be allowed to like villains without even mild critique, and then will just flat-out not address the villainous behavior, and will even bend over backwards to frame even characters who committed genocide as just poor innocent widdle victims who need a hug. At its worst, I’ve even seen tons of people in a fandom get really angry at other people who don’t like a villain, and will even start accusing those people of hating real-life mentally disabled or abused individuals all because they don’t like the fandom’s favorite literal war criminal. The Monkie Kid fandom is FAR more chill & better than a lot of other fandoms I’ve come across in that regard, but that is an exceedingly low bar, & the tendency to woobify certain kinds of villains-- as with Macaque and the extreme emphasis on his bad boy/sad boy thing--is very much at work.

I’ve also talked before about a kind of monoculturalization of certain character interpretations and story beats in fandoms, and one of the more popular ones that seems to be applied to Macaque a lot is the “hero actually bad, villain actually good” cliche, as observable from the general fandom assumption that Mr. Six-Ears he wasn’t even slightly lying or remembering things through a rose-tinted or skewed lens when he gave his version of his and Sun Wukong’s past. Like at this point it seems the possibility that people WILL NOT even consider is that Sun Wukong never did & still doesn't care that much about the Six Eared Macaque (in JTTW they weren’t sworn brothers & in Monkie Kid the only thing the monkey king really said to Macaque before attacking him was a pretty contemptuous "Aren't you ever going to get sick of living under my shadow?," & responds to his "beloved friend" getting blown up with "You did good, bud" to Qi Xiaotian, who did the exploding), or that their original fight may in fact have mostly been instigated by Macaque. After all, to repeat what this anon summarized & what I've said before about their original JTTW context (& in an example of the things that do feel like it's often lost in translation) is that the Six Ear Macaque was a villain not just because he beat up the Tang Monk, but because he wanted to take over Sun Wukong's entire life and identity so he could have all that glory, prestige, and power for himself. To quote the macaque himself from the Anthony C. Yu translation, "I struck the T'ang monk and I took the luggage...precisely because I want to go to the West all by myself to ask Buddha for the scriptures. When I deliver them to the Land of the East, it will be my success and no one else's. Those people of the South Jambudvipa Continent will honor me then as their patriarch and my fame will last for all posterity." And in order to do this, the Six Eared Macaque had apparently made Sun Wukong's "little ones," his monkey family, his captives through either trickery or force, and gotten a number of them to take on the appearance of Tang Sanzang and the other pilgrims. It's also made clear that in very direct contrast to Sun Wukong, he doesn't care about these monkeys beyond how they might serve him. In fact, after Sha Wujing kills the monkey posing as him the Six Eared Macaque not only all but immediately replaces him with another, but also "told his little ones to have the dead monkey skinned. Then his meat was taken to be fried and served as food along with coconut and grape wines." So this monkey is not only willing to risk the lives of a lot of other monkeys for his own personal benefit, but is also a literal cannibal. And yes yes, I know a lot of people have argued that Monkie Kid shouldn't be considered a direct sequel to JTTW & that's fair enough (for example, Sun Wukong probably shouldn't be smashing anyone into a meat patty in a children's cartoon lol). And of course, it needs to be noted that there are a buttload of really out there & really cursed pieces of media based on JTTW & that were created in China. Yet the above description is the oft-ignored in the west original facet of the Six Eared Macaque's character. And it is this selfishness, entitlement, and treatment of other individuals as tools for his own self-serving ends that is, from where I’m standing, still very much present in Monkie Kid. Like besides repeatedly going out of his way to physically and psychologically traumatize Xioatian, with the last episode Macaque seemed to be going right back to his manipulative ways. I’ve seen people frame their last conversation as Macaque softening to Xioatian a little bit, but personally that read a lot more like that common tactic among abusers where even after they’ve hurt you they’ll dangle something you want or need over your head (in Macaque’s case, the promise of desperately needed training and information about a serious looming threat), with the implication that you’ll only get it if you do what they want you to, such as, in this case, Xioatian going back to Macaque as his student even after having been so terribly hurt by this monkey, which would give Macaque power over Xiaotian and probably Sun Wukong as a result. And it is this violence and manipulation that it seems the fandom at large has tacitly decided shouldn’t even be addressed, instead leaning more towards a (and this is an exaggeration) “Six-Eared Macaque my poor meow meow Sun Wukong has always been bad & has always been wrong about literally everything” reading.

And while it is the case that I am not Chinese and feel that as such it would be best left to someone who actually comes from that background to provide more context into how common interpretations of the Six Eared Macaque from China may clash really badly with the stuff the western fandom creates, it also must be noted that, as much as we all want to have fun in fandom & in spite of all the out-there versions of JTTW from China, we westerners should recognize that there is a very long and very ugly history of western countries stripping other cultures’ important religious and literary works for parts & mashing them into their own thing while implying or even insisting that what they present provides a true understanding of the original piece. And while I trust most individuals in regards to Monkie Kid are able to step back and think “this is a lego cartoon and not a set guide for how I should understand JTTW” (especially given the insistence that JTTW and Monkie Kid should be considered there own separate works) there does nevertheless seem to be something of a tendency to take the conclusions people come to, for example, about Sun Wukong’s characteristic in his lego form & then assume that’s just reflective to Sun Wukong as a totality. I imagine a good portion of this is due to people not reading JTTW & especially to not having easy access to solid information or answers about JTTW’s many different facets (like geez awhile ago I was trying to get a clear answer on what is considered the most accurate translation of the names of Sun Wukong’s six sworn brothers & got like 5 different responses lmao), but that tendency to take a western fandom interpretation & run with it instead of doing any background research or questioning said interpretation is still very much at play. As such, & as made prominent in the way people have been interpreting the dynamic between Sun Wukong and the Six Eared Macaque in the lego monkey show, tbh it does seem kind of shitty for western creators & audience to sometimes go really out of their way to ignore all of this original cultural & narrative context for the sake of Angst (TM) in Macaque's favor, demonizing Sun Wukong, and shipping the monkey king with his evil twin (X_X).

And speaking of which, even beyond the potential inherent creepiness & revulsion that can be inspired by this specific ship given common interpretations of the og classic's original meaning (again, it's my understanding, given both summaries of translated Chinese academic texts I've been kindly provided with, my own reading of the Anthony C. Yu translation of JTTW, & vents from a number of Chinese people I've seen on this site, that the Six-Eared Macaque is commonly interpreted in China as having originated from Sun Wukong himself as a living embodiment of his worst traits, hence why only Buddha can tell the difference between them & why the monkey king is much more slow to violence after he kills the macaque), I'd argue that in the face of all the uwu poor widdle meow meow portrayals lego show Macaque is, especially if you include JTTW's events, still in the role of “Sun Wukong but worse” as he is very much a violent & selfish creep. Like he was basically running around in JTTW wearing a Sun Wukong fursuit, but there he had the sole reason of wanting to replace Sun Wukong wholesale so he could have all the good things in the monkey king's life without actually having to work as hard for them. But if you combine that with Macaque now claiming that he used to be best friend with Sun Wukong in his pre-journey days (something that's made funny from a JTTW context given that that status actually belongs to the Demon Bull King lol), his original violence has now blown into this centuries long and really unhealthy obsession with the monkey king. Like he's apparently gone from wanting to literally be Sun Wukong to being so obsessed with getting revenge on Sun Wukong that he's got basically nothing else going on in his life. Like he's only appeared in two episodes but...does he have any friends? Any family? A career or even a hobby that DOESN'T center the monkey king? Anything at all outside of his "get revenge on and/or kill Sun Wukong/use his successor as my personal punching bag” thing? Like dude! That is extremely creepy and extremely bad for everyone all around! As I’ve said before, this seeming refusal to see beyond the past or to do something that doesn’t involve Sun Wukong in some capacity is a trait that makes Macaque an interesting and somewhat tragic villain--he even seems to be working as Sun Wukong’s reflection in a mirror darkly, with lego show Sun Wukong pretty clearly not being able to heal from his own past which is hinted to be defined by one loss after another, and with Monkie Kid even kind of having these two characters somewhat follow their JTTW characterizations in that in the latter half of the journey Sun Wukong often gets sad & starts crying in the face of what seems insurmountable odds (& Monkie Kid Sun Wukong does seem to be hiding some serious depression behind a cheerful facade), whereas the Six-Eared Macaque retains a worse version of Sun Wukong’s pre-journey characteristic of getting pissed and lashing out if things don’t go his way--but it’s also what would make any current friendship or romantic relationship between these monkeys horrific. Although to be fair even the fandom seems to recognize this in an unconscious way, in that a lot of the art & fanfic seems to swing erratically between them kissing & screaming at each other in yet another example of bog-standard fandom adulation of romanticized toxic relationships lol.

At the end of the day, of course, this is nothing new. You'll find versions of this dynamic across a ton of fandoms and now even canonical work. And as such, I can only look at this kind of popularized relationship dynamic with a kind of resigned weariness whenever it pops up, & my frustrated question with the popularity of this kind of pairing is the exact same one that I have for a multitude of blatantly toxic villain/hero ships, given common fandom discourse & the tendency to either ignore or justify the villain's actions & demonize the hero: if you're THAT convinced that everything is the hero's fault, if you believe THAT much that the hero is the one in the wrong for the villain's pain and their subsequent actions, then why are you so set on them not only becoming a romantic pair, but framing this get-together as a good thing? Like I know we contain multitudes but that's waaay too many contradictions for me to wrap my head around. And it definitely doesn’t help that one branch of underlying reasoning behind this kind of pairing seems to be the ever-present “you break it, you fix it” mentality, where the assumption is that if you’re in a failing, abusive, and/or generally toxic relationship (platonically or romantically), if you put in enough time and effort & attempts to compromise, you’ll be able to restore/have the relationship you dreamed of, even with someone who hurt you really badly. And this assumption isn’t limited to fandom: I’d even argue that it’s everywhere in the culture, hence why a lot of people feel like they “failed” if they have to get a divorce or make the choice to leave an unhealthy friendship. Personally, I feel like people could really benefit from more stories about how it is not only the case that the people you hurt don’t owe you their forgiveness & you can still become a better and happier person without the one you hurt in your life, & that while it can be really hard it can also be a good thing to leave a relationship, even if it’s one that once meant a lot to you.

But in all honestly, from my own perspective this kind of pairing is starting to read far less like enemies to lovers and far more like a horrible fantasy where you can pull whatever shit you want, even on the people you "love," & never be held accountable for your terrible behavior or even have to consider that maybe you were in the wrong. It's another facet that makes me larf every time I see people insist that fandom is an inherently "transformative" or "progressive" form of storytelling like friends you are literally just taking status quo toxic monogamy & rebranding it as somehow beneficial & romantic (X_X).

But as to anon’s last frustration, it is hard to know what is the appropriate response with this kind of thing...like for my own part I’m keeping my frustrations to my blog & now increasingly to posts that you would have to click on the “read more” button to see what I have to say, but I totally get the hesitation to give even a mild critique to big names in a fandom. Like I've now seen it happen repeatedly where someone who has a big name in a fandom will make something that's kind of shitty for one reason or another, someone will message them with some version of "hey, that's kind of shitty, you shouldn't do that," and the typical response is either to blatantly ignore the issue completely, or more popularly to make a giant crying circus that seems deliberately geared towards stoking emotions on both sides of the, for example, fiction does/doesn't affect reality issue so that something that didn't even have to be that big a deal gets blown out of all proportion, with the big name often framing what often started out as a very mild critique into a long crying jag about how the initial response to their kind of shitty thing was so mean/cruel and they're just a poor innocent & that YOU'RE the true racist/sexist/bigot etc. if you don't agree with their opinion. It must of course be noted that there have also been numerous instances of people taking it too far the other way & sending not just big names but smaller creators literal deaths threats over stuff like innocuous ships which like holy hell bells people that’s a horrible thing to do. But for the big names at least, the end result of all this fighting is usually that once the dust has settled they have more attention/fame/money/power in the fandom than before, and with anyone who might have a problem with their stuff feeling afraid to voice their opinion lest they be swarmed by that person's fans. In that way fandom does often seem to increasingly be geared towards presenting an “official” fandom perspective about various facets of a piece of media instead of allowing for a multitude of interpretations, and with criticism, no matter its shape or form or how genuinely warranted it may be, being hounded out of existence. I feel like a lot of this could be made less bad if there wasn’t this constant assumption & even drive to think that a different interpretation of or criticism of your favorite work of fiction or your fanwork isn’t a direct claim that you are a thoroughly loathsome individual (& maybe also if people cultivated an enjoyment of learning things about important works from a culture outside their own, even if what you learn clashes with your own initial understandings), but I guess we’ll see if that ever happens.

So these are my general thinks about the Six Eared Macaque’s current fandom meow meow status & some of my bigger gripes with fandom tendencies as a whole. I stand by my idea that the most interesting & beneficial route for Macaque moving forward would be a kind of “redemption without forgiveness from the ones you hurt” arc--as I think was done pretty excellently with the character Grace in Infinity Train--and if for no other reason than gosh dern this monkey really needs to cultivate some sort of identity beyond his “Sun Wukong but worse” persona.

#lmk macaque #monkie kid macaque #6 eared macaque #monkie kid #lmk sun wukong #qi xiaotian #lmk monkey king #sun wukong #monkey king #journey to the west #jttw #fandom criticism #lmk

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drabbles-mc · 3 years

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Comfort Zone

Chibs Telford x F!Reader

Request from Anon: Can I have some Chibs? I don’t care how you do it, but I want me some Chibs. But just a happy ending, yo girl loves happy endings ❤️

Warnings: language, alcohol

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: Two fics in one day because today has been rough and writing is my number one coping mechanism haha. This is my first time writing for Chibs! Writing the accent was new so please extend a little extra grace there lol. Sorry if it’s clunky at all in that regard. But have a nice little dose of fluffy feelings with our Filip xo

SOA Taglist: @masterlistforimagines @adela-topaz-caelon @garbinge @chibsytelford @mijop @everyhowlmarksthedead (If you want to be tagged in future fics don’t hesitate to let me know!)

Chibs was making his way back towards his dorm when he heard someone scuffling around inside. He sighed—the day had been long enough, the last thing he wanted to do was go toe-to-toe with whoever was rummaging through all of his things.

He pulled his gun out from his kutte as he pushed his door open, “Ye got about ten seconds to get the fuck out before I—” he stopped short when he saw you standing by his dresser.

You chuckled, motioning for him to finish his sentence, “Before you what? C’mon, I’m invested in this now.”

Despite his exhaustion he had to chuckle. He shook his head slightly, “Nevermind. What’re you doin’ here, lass? Haven’t you got a home of yer own?”

You laughed as you walked up to him, “Yea but you’re not there.”

The two of you were standing close enough to touch, to hold each other, but you didn’t. It was the same song and dance the two of you had been doing for weeks, now. There was no denying that there was chemistry between the two of you. You’d never made any attempt to hide the fact that you were attracted to him, and he wasn’t exactly a person you would describe as subtle. But despite all of that, neither of you had ever really pushed things to the next level. You couldn’t speak for what was going on inside Chibs’ head, but you knew that he wasn’t someone that you could afford to lose. If playing this game in limbo with him was how you got to have him, then so be it.

“What’s goin’ on, love?” he ran his hand back through his hair.

The smile faded away slightly from your face, “I…I’ve just had a really rough day. And honestly? All I want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with.”

He laughed, not at your exhaustion or distress, but at the plain and simple honesty of your statement. He’d never been someone who was good at saying no to you. He reached out and pulled you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug.

“Alright then. Sounds like I can help with both those things,” he pulled away and stepped back towards the door, “Let me go grab a bottle.”

You chuckled, “You really expect me to believe that you don’t have at least one stashed in here somewhere?”

He smiled, shaking his head, “Course I do. But if yer looking for a full bottle, you won’t find that here.”

He disappeared out the door and you couldn’t help but to laugh quietly to yourself. You sat down on his bed, curling your toes into the worn-out throw rug that was on the floor beside his bed. Your hands smoothed out the blanket next to you while you waited. You’d popped into his dorm countless times to talk to him. He’d even let you crash a few times if you got too drunk to drive home after a party, not that he would ever share the bed with you. It was the first time the two of you were really sharing the space together this way.

A few minutes later he reappeared in the doorway. He walked in, shaking his head slightly as he shut and locked the door behind himself. You looked at him, head cocked slightly to the side.

“You okay?”

He nodded, “They’re afraid I’m gonna drink myself into oblivion in here,” he lifted the fresh bottle of whiskey to prove his point.

You laughed, “Tell them you were at least sharing?”

He shook his head, “You wouldn’t get a moment’s peace if they knew you were in ‘ere.”

You smiled but didn’t say anything. You knew that he was right, if the guys knew that it was the two of you back here sharing a room and a bottle of whiskey, you’d never hear the end of it. They gave you a hard enough time as it was and nothing had ever even happened between you and Chibs. This might be just enough to make all their heads explode.

He shrugged his kutte off, draping it over the lone chair in his room. He tossed the bottle onto the mattress and you laughed as you picked it up, unscrewing the cap. You were about to press the bottle to your lips when you heard the sound of his belt buckle being undone. You froze, eyes automatically darting over to look at him.

He saw the look on your face and chuckled, “Don’ let me stop you. Drink up.”

You felt your cheeks get hot and you let out a nervous laugh as you took a swig from the bottle. Hopefully it would help to calm your nerves. The other possible side effect was that you were going to lose what little resolve you had left that was keeping you from attempting to climb him like a tree.

He was down to just his t-shirt and boxers as he made his way over to the bed. He stopped just before he reached it, taking a moment to really look at you. His brows furrowed for a moment as he looked you up and down.

“You wearing my shirt?”

You bit at your bottom lip, the heat in your face intensifying with every passing moment, “Um. Yea. Wanted something more comfortable. That alright?”

He chuckled and nodded, “Glad yer so comfortable here,” he sat down on the edge of the bed, “G’won, scoot over. Make some room.”

You laughed as you crawled to the far side of the bed, getting yourself underneath the covers as you did. Chibs slid in beside you and held his arm out, gesturing for you to come and tuck yourself up against his side. You did so gladly, reveling in the way his arm wrapped around your shoulders.

The two of you sat in silence for a few minutes, just passing the bottle back and forth to each other. You felt the steady rise and fall of his chest and it made all of the stress that you had previously been battling with melt away. Every now and then he would lightly run his fingers up and down your arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

While he was still holding onto the bottle, you turned so that you were laying more completely onto his chest, one of your arms slung across his stomach. It earned a chuckle from Chibs, who then used the hand not holding the whiskey to lightly massage your temples.

“You gonna tell me what’s going on, love?” he kept his voice quiet.

You sighed, drumming your fingers on his chest as you thought about whether or not you really wanted to get into everything that was bothering you. You didn’t really want to bore him with your work and family drama—you knew that he had enough to worry about with everything that had been going on with the club.

“Just a shitty day,” you looked up at him, “You okay? You usually don’t walk into your dorm swinging your gun around.”

He chuckled before taking another drink from the whiskey bottle. He handed it to you before leaning his head back against the wall behind his bed. “Don’t usually have people goin’ through my shit, either,” he pulled lightly at the sleeve of his shirt that you were wearing, “Thief.”

You laughed, “I guess that’s fair,” you sat upright so that you could take a swig from the bottle, the burn bothering you less and less as the night wore on.

You reached over him so that you could set the bottle on his nightstand. His breath hit your neck as you leaned across him and it almost caused the bottle to slip from your fingers. You tried to keep yourself composed as you leaned back, pulling your legs so that they were tucked up underneath you.

“Somethin’ on yer mind?” there was a hint of a smirk playing at his lips as he asked, and you had the feeling that he knew exactly what was on your mind.

“Why don’t we do this all the time?” you asked.

It wasn’t what he had been expecting you to say. He thought about his response for a moment, “Prob’ly because I’d run out of shirts for you to wear.”

You laughed, giving him a playful shove, “You know what I mean. Wh-why do we always have to pretend that we like each other less than we really do?”

“You tell me, darlin’,” the expression on his face was soft, knowing, “’Cos I’ve seen you backpedal about a dozen times just tonight.”

You wanted to sink into the mattress, hating how well he could read you, “Do you even like me?”

He couldn’t help his laughter, “Nah, can’t stand ye. That’s why I keep lettin’ you come around.”

You playfully slapped his chest, “You know what I mean.”

He rested his hand over yours, fingers tracing along your knuckles, “Course I like you. But I’m too old for games. I’m not lookin’ to convince anyone into anythin’.”

You mulled his words over for a few moments. You weren’t sure if it was the exhaustion, the alcohol, or a mixture of the two that made it so difficult for you to believe what he was telling you. It seemed too easy that he might feel the same way as you.

“So if I kissed you right now, you’d…just…”

He chuckled, eyes crinkling slightly at the edges, “G’won. Find out.”

You were hardly able to believe your own level of confidence as you leaned in and pressed your lips to his. He instantly leaned into you, lips moving perfectly in sync with yours. You could taste the whiskey off his lips and tongue and it was everything that you imagined it would be. His hand came up and cradled the back of your head, keeping you pressed against him.

When you finally pulled away to catch your breath, you could see the smile on Chibs’ face. “See?” his hand slid down to rest on the back of your neck, “Wasn’ so bad, was it?”

“Not bad at all.”

He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to your lips, “Alright then. C’mere,” he reached and shut his bedside lamp off, “you had your drink. Come a little closer so I can give you a proper cuddle fer yer bad day.”

You laughed as he slid down so that he was lying on his side, facing you and waiting for you to do the same thing. You shimmied down farther underneath the covers. His arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you so that your chest was flush against his. Your hands came to rest lightly on either side of his neck, thumbs tracing idly along his jawline. Every few minutes he’d lean in and kiss you—on the lips, on the cheek, on the forehead. He never tried to drag it out. You found yourself settling into him, your legs involuntarily tangling themselves up with his.

“Goodnight,” you mumbled sleepily against his chest.

You felt his chest vibrate with quiet laughter. He pressed a kiss to the edge of your forehead, “Goodnight, love.”

#soa #sons of anarchy #chibs telford #filip telford #chibs telford x reader #chibs telford x you #sons of anarchy imagine #chibs telford fanfic #chibs telford fluff #my writing #fanfiction #drabblesmc

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lochnessies · 3 years

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ok here’s a dissection of a post an anon sent me the link to and bc i have the worst time management possible and i completely forgot i had it lol so sorry anon here you go ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

I am constantly thinking about how Edelgard just doesn’t seem designed to appeal to cishet men.

i hate to be the one to break this news to you op but just because a character doesn’t show skin like charlotte fire emblem doesn’t mean she isn’t designed to pander to men. she’s very much designed to pander to the (majority straight male) player base with her ‘uwu i only trust you professor omg did u see that rat? pls don’t look at my painting of you uwu’.

then there’s the whole edelgard c support in japanese where byleth makes reference to having come to her room for ‘yobi’ which is

there’s also the scene where byleth can make an unsolicited comment about edelgard’s breast size. which is… uhh… gross.

edelgard also has cipher cards that go from slightly fanserviceie to full on suggestive

and also her breast armor that my sister relentlessly mocked lol

and here’s a chart from the 3h subreddit about gender/sexually in regards to edelgard and edeleth. it’s extremely straight male. op might have just overlooked this since they probably don’t go on reddit and stay on tumblr (which unlike reddit is mostly female and has a high lgbt demographic).

Like the joke is that Bleagles is the Gay House, but everything about her feels deliberately non-hetero.

i don’t like where this is going…

She’s dressed in sharp outfits covering her upper body, with proportions that don’t seem exaggerated.

so women who cover up must be lgbt because straight women are naturally more revealing? oh y i k e s

Her poise and the way she effortlessly flourishes her axe exhibits an air of coolness. While titties out =/= character of no substance, Edelgard being dressed more modestly suggests that she wasn’t designed with male-centred fanservice in mind.

“titties don’t equal no substance but here’s my post on how she has more substance because she doesn’t show titties” ok

And she still looks absolutely stunning in her more modest attire (like seriously, I haven’t felt the need to return to cosplay in years but I want to do her academy look so bad).

yes she does. amazing design 10/10. i have a feeling this is the only part i’m going to agree with

Edelgard is intense. She does not mince her words and she is constantly evaluating you. Though she tries, she has a difficult time understanding her peers initially. Early on, she talks about how she would sacrifice herself and others in the name of some greater good. She is terrible at communicating with her peers. She has to be seen as infallible. Her heart has been hardened for years and she assumes she has to stay that way. She also assumes everyone mourns the same way she does - which is why she (kind of insensitively) insists you move on when Jeralt dies. Because to her, grief has to be channeled towards action, or else you’ll get lost in it. This attitude is demonstrated time and time again as she presses on. It can make her come off as cold and unfeeling - but look closer, and she’s anything but.

don’t really have anything to say at this part. it is pretty on the nose though i would slightly disagree with that last sentence a bit. i wouldn’t say she’s as i feeling as hubert is but all of her talks of the war boil down to how she feels and never her victims.

Her story is ultimately about her realizing that to achieve her goals, she needs to let people in and allow herself to want things like cakes and tea parties and lazy days in peace.

????? what ????? her goals include imperialism, ethnic and religious targeting. her story is about having a set of beliefs and mowing down anybody who stands in her way. that has nothing to do with tea, friends, and lazy days. also am i supposed to be sad that she has to get up everyday and work? i do that and i didn’t start a war and only throw a pity party for myself

The game leaves the player guessing as to how involved the Flame Emperor was in each Part I event, makes you feel hurt by her betrayal, and leaves you with a choice: do you follow the orders of the woman who tried to make you a god without your consent, or a young girl with questionable morals about to throw the world into upheaval?

this isn’t an ideal situation but i think i’m going to stick with the woman who tried to make me a god since i’m not selfish and i know it’s not only my desires and life at stake here. plus the green hair slaps ngl

Choosing her of your own volition (not for completionist reasons) requires the basic ability to sympathize with a woman’s pain. It also requires the player to read beyond her unwavering will and dubious methods to get a sense of how deep that pain goes and how the theme of humanity relates to her differently in each route.

i’m not going to touch this since @nilsh13 made a post on it that i’ll link here. i agree with everything he said so to repeat it would be redundant.

The player must be able to see a young woman’s desperate resolve to change the world so it stops exploiting people and ruining lives. They must be able to accept the fact that women can make the same morally wrong and ambivalent decisions that complicated male characters get to make all the time and still be the one to root for.

literally the same reason i love rhea lol her goddess experiments are dubious at best but her reasons are the same you mentioned. i would say that i like this quality in edelgard too if her ending, while bloody, actually ended in a good outcome for fodlan.

This is not unique to LGBT+ people, but this population is likely to understand why Edelgard feels so strongly about why she has to change the system.

i understand wanting to change a system, i really do. like edelgard, i’m an opinionated bisexual woman (who’s also physically disabled) so yeah i get it. and change can be good but it can also be terrible. even if the church was the boogeyman edelgard treats it as she still replaces it with her own shit regime. so it’s the same circus just with a new conductor.

I don’t think “Edelgard gets undue criticism because she’s a woman” captures the full picture. An important aspect of her treatment by certain parts of the fandom is that she’s a radical woman.

or maybe she does some pretty fucked up shit and it goes unacknowledged in her own route. and yeah she’s radical but in all the worst ways.

Her hatred of the Church and the Crest system resonates way harder with people who have been hurt by institutions that are deeply engrained in our society.

and what about people who have been hurt by systems where their ‘merit’ didn’t measure up and they were left behind? what about people from nations that experienced imperialism?

Siding with her means siding against the Church - which, while different from real world religious institutions, still invokes language about “sin” and “punishment.

yeah the ‘sins’ and ‘punishments’ are used in relation to attempted murders which i think everybody can agree is a bad thing that needs to be condemned.

Choosing Edelgard will likely hit different if homophobic and transphobic Christians used that rhetoric against you.

it has literally nothing to do with ‘sins’ and ‘punishments’ in regards to being gay or trans. that’s you projecting. especially since the church has 2 canon gay characters and two coded ones.

like i can understand why having a church condemn you can be uncomfortable but i’m begging you to please look at the context of what’s happening.

I’m willing to go out on a limb and say that the reason F/F Edeleth is the more popular iteration of that ship because most people who would choose to S-support Edelgard are LGBT+ themselves. This is not a revelation. To anyone in the community, it’s fairly obvious.

i was talking to nilish and he said

so yeah… while there is definitely sapphic femleth shippers out there, there’s still a whole lot of weird fetishizing going on from straight men about edelgard.

Crimson Flower was my first route. I went into the game knowing absolutely nothing. I played it during the last week of 2020 and hoo boy was it cathartic.

i can tell. this wasn’t supposed to be a dig but it came out that way and i’m not taking it out.

I felt like I was living out a gay revolution power fantasy, where I could truly change systems of oppression while fighting alongside a group of troubled students I’d shaped the lives of.

so a gay revolution power fantasy (cringe) goes hand in hand with imperialism and installing a dictatorship? also the war had nothing to do with sexuality.

Through your unwavering support, Edelgard learns that she needs to be human, that she must listen to her friends, and that she’s allowed to enjoy the world she’s creating.

edelgard gets to learn how to be human all while hunting those who don’t. and she doesn’t listen fo her friends. she doesn’t even trust them. she’s willing to talk to byleth but keep the people who’s been by her side for five years in the dark about everything. and yeah she gets to enjoy her new words since she’s on top. hate to be a commoner under her rule after she burned down my village in her war.

I love this character so much.

clearly. and i honestly don’t care if somebody likes her. i do as well even if my sometimes scathing words can make it seem otherwise.

It has been six months since I first played and I am still analyzing her,

me too. please help me escape i’m losing my mind

because there’s so much depth. Yet so many people fail to see that depth and dismiss her as evil,

i mean, she does some fucked up shit that goes beyond any of the less than desirable actions of the other main characters and does an extremely poor job in trying to make herself seem innocent. i personally don’t think she’s pure evil but i completely understand where the people who say she is are coming from.

because they never had the will to understand complicated women in the first place.

that’s big talk from somebody who implies that a gay pope is comparable to homophobic and transphobic irl religions and that leads an oppressive regime all because she uses the vague terms of sin and punishments that you have to gay power fantasy your way out of

#i finished this at 1am so sorry if i’m incoherent #mine

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delaber · 3 years

Text

Chipped

Rafael Casal x Reader

Note: I love when you send me prompts 😭 I asked for angst and you delivered! Thanks to all the lovely anons and to @theatrenerd86 of course!

Words: 3K

Warnings: fist fight 🙃

Tagging: @exrthangel @theatrenerd86 @lonelydance @ohsoverykeri @summerofsnowflakes @ramp-it-up @alexander-hamilhoe @honeysucklechocolatedrippin @riiyy @mysearchforgratification @janthony-stan @sillyteecup @biafbunny @einfachniemand @cashskid (Imma keep tagging you unless you say something lol).

The minute you stepped in the door, everything changed. Time seemed to slow down. The music became distorted. Rafa could've sworn that the lights dimmed considerably. The billiard ball rolling in slow motion in front of him suddenly wasn't as exciting anymore. All he could focus on was you and the heavy heartbeat in his chest.

You looked around the room, shot him a small wave from afar and headed straight for the bar as his senses seemed to return to normal, time speeding up again.

You'd shown up to the party late and even though Rafa had only seen you from a distance, it was obvious to him that something was wrong - again. Even though you had held your head up high, your confident body language was outshone by the fake smile and the sadness in your eyes. Rafa watched your squared shoulders as you poured yourself a drink while trying to look brave. And although you were doing a splendid job pretending everything was alright, he didn't believe a second of it. You had never been able to keep anything from him. He knew you too well.

"Are you seeing this too?" Diggs mumbled as he had also noticed the way you were carrying yourself.

"Yeah," Rafa breathed as he looked at you wipe away a small tear, the smile still broad on your lips. His heart was aching in his chest. It hurt seeing you hurt.

"What are we guessing?" Diggs continued in a quiet mumble, "Rob?"

"Definitely Rob," Rafa said darkly. Of course you were crying because of your asshole fuckboy of a boyfriend. The biggest fucking clown to ever walk the face of the earth. Mr Dickbag himself. Rafa's nemesis.

Rafa and Diggs had absolutely hated Rob from the minute you had introduced him to them - not only because the man was absolutely no good, but also because he had come out of nowhere, pulling you away from Rafa at the worst possible time. Before Rob, you and Rafa had - much to Rafa's satisfaction - flirted quite heavily. Hell, on special occasions, Rafa had even been granted access to your bed! But from the moment you had met Rob, everything had been about him, and Rafa had been degraded to being your old buddy again. ...And he absolutely fucking hated it! And he hated fucking Rob for stealing you away. Fucking Rob with his fucking stupid hipster haircut and his fucking badass Michael K Williams scar.

"We should go talk to her," Diggs said quietly, and put down the billiard cue without looking away from you.

"Yeah, I'll see what I can do," Rafa answered without really paying attention to Diggs.

"You? Alone?" Diggs arched an eyebrow at Rafa, "are you sure that's a good idea? Last time you nearly broke them up."

"That's still the plan," Rafa sent his friend a challenging look, "or do you want him to continue breaking her heart?"

"Of course not. You're just... partial," Diggs sent Rafa an equally challenging look. He was all for you and Rafa getting together, but he also knew that Rafa was in neck-deep water.

"Shut up, dude. I know what I'm doing," Rafa mumbled and started walking towards you with determined footsteps before Diggs could stop him.

"Don't stir shit up!" He heard Diggs yell behind him.

Rafa ignored his best friend and took a few brisk steps towards you before he was standing by your side. You were pouring yourself half a glass of tequila, downing it in one go.

"Hey..." he smiled when he caught your eye.

"Rafa!" You jumped a little at the surprise of suddenly having him in your face, "hey. How are you?" You poured yourself another tequila, your fake smile still broad on your lips. You hoped he hadn't noticed your rather weird mood.

"Better than you it seems..." Rafa eyed the contents of your plastic cup.

"Is it that obvious?" You shot him a look.

"You're drinking tequila as if it was water..." He leaned in close and spoke quietly so only you could hear, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," you lied, "I wouldn't want to ruin your night," you said quietly. The truth was that you actually did want to talk about it. Maybe with Jasmine or Emmy - but definitely not with Rafa of all people! You already knew how he would react; he hated Rob and would go absolutely ballistic.

"You could never ruin my night," Rafa smiled softly. "Come," he said and grabbed your hand, tugging you along. You followed him hesitantly but ended up sitting down next to him on a small bench outside the house, determined not to tell him a thing. However, as he immediately put his arm around you and pulled you close, the treacherous tears started welling up in your eyes the second you felt his hand caressing you.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked softly.

"Yes. I'm just having a really shit night," you mumbled while wiping away an annoying tear.

"What happened?"

"Nothing, I'm okay," you croaked, trying to keep him away.

Of course Rafa didn't believe you, and in a matter of seconds, his expression changed dramatically, "Did Rob hurt you? If he hurt you, I swear to God I will kill him!"

You looked over at Rafa whose nostrils were flared, clearly already angry at the scene he had set in his own mind without even knowing if Rob was involved or not.

"He didn't hurt me, Rafa. Stop jumping to conclusions just because you don't like him..."

"So this has nothing to do with Rob?" Rafa arched an eyebrow at you.

There was no way back now. You knew that Rafa would do absolutely anything in his power to get you to tell him about what had happened. You shot him a sideways glance, trying to determine how angry he was before you admitted to Rob's deeds. "It's Rob, alright - but he didn't do anything on purpose."

Rafa clenched his jaws shut and curtly said, "just tell me what happened."

"Promise me you won't hate him..." you whispered while biting your lip.

"No. What did he do?!" Rafa demanded through gritted teeth.

"He - uhm -" you considered shooting Rafa a lie but knew that he would see right through you immediately. Eventually, you decided to tell him the truth even though you knew nothing good would come of it; "Rob - uh - accidentally kissed someone else last night," you mumbled quietly while carefully examining Rafa's face. He looked as if he could punch something so to diffuse the situation, you quickly added, "- but he feels really bad about it and he told me everything straight away!"

"He cheated on you?" Rafa tried to say as calmly as he possibly could although he was doing a horrendous job. Of all the terrible things Rob had ever done to you, this one definitely took the cake.

"He didn't do it on purpose!" You added quickly, "Please don't be mad at him!"

"Why are you defending him?" Rafa said desperately. His face was distorted, his eyes livid, "He cheated on you! Tell me you broke it off with him!"

"He didn't do it on purpose. He's been going through some stuff lately and he told me that he feels terrible about it..."

"Good!" Rafa said angrily and gritted his teeth, "fucking suits him right. Say the word and I'll deck him in his smug face!"

"Stop trying to save me, I can handle myself! This has absolutely nothing to do with you..."

"I'm the one who has to see you like this," he said softly.

You shot Rafa a look, "you pulled me aside!"

"Yes! Because I see right through your fake smile - and it hurts to see you like this!"

"Rafa, I didn't ask for you to take care of it."

"You'd do the same for any of your friends. I don't know why you can't see that he's bad for you!"

"It's just a rough patch! I know he loves me, he's just been stressed lately."

"Are you not listening to what you're saying right now?" Rafa desperately pulled at his hair, "The guy made out with another girl and you're excusing it? You should be livid!"

"I am livid," you shot Rafa a hard look, "why else do you think I'm sitting out here, talking to you about it? If I didn't care that he kissed someone else, I would obviously be inside right now, enjoying myself!"

"If you're truly upset about it, don't excuse his behaviour! Break up with him! He's toxic as fuck!"

"Would you stop that?!" You said sternly, "I know you aren't his biggest fan but he's my boyfriend."

"Why are you even with him? He's a fucking low life!"

"He's a low life?" You said in a shrill voice, not able to hold back anymore, "as opposed to whom, Rafa? To you?"

"As opposed to anyone!" Rafa spat, "why can't you see that there are so many guys out there who are a million times better than fucking Robert Havert?!"

Rafa's words hit a little too close to home and you got really angry with him, "you really want to go there?" You couldn't help yourself.

"Go where?" Rafa shot you an irritated look

"Riddle me this, Rafa; do you by any chance consider Rob competition?"

"No," Rafa said curtly, looking away from you.

You crossed your arms and tapped your foot, "really? Because you've been sending me some weird fucking signals lately while trying to break me and Rob up."

Rafa's feelings were bubbling inside him and before he could stop himself, he spat, "Of course I consider him competition! Isn't it obvious that I'm in love with you?! You and I had something special before he came along and corrupted you!"

"He didn't corrupt me!" You answered through gritted teeth.

"Why did you turn your back on me then?" Rafa said loudly, his voice breaking. He instantly looked ashamed of himself. He obviously hadn't meant to show you so much of his emotions.

"Because I fell in love with Rob! ...What you and I had was a mistake..." you desperately cried out, "sleeping together was obviously a mistake!"

"If it was a mistake, why did it happen three times?" Rafa spat angrily before his eyes became glossy. He was panting hard, his face all screwed up, "please don't regret me," he croaked, his chest aching horribly, "you can't be serious..."

"Of course I don't regret you, Rafa. But we would've never worked out."

"...Because of him?" He shot you a dark look, his chest heaving up and down.

"No, Rafa," you desperately put your hands on him trying to calm him down, "Because you're you and I'm me. We've been friends for ages."

"I don't want to be friends," Rafa whispered before he angrily looked away from you.

"Rafa, honey," you whispered while searching his face, "I love you - but not like that..." you put your forehead to his. Your hands were now on his chest and you could feel the heavy heartbeat through his shirt. "I'm sorry if I-" Your words were drowned by a car door slamming hard and a voice behind you yelling loudly; "Step away before I punch you in fucking the face, Casal!"

Rob was coming at you and Rafa at full speed, an aggressive look in his eyes. You let go of Rafa as if you'd been scorched by fire and ran to your boyfriend, trying to stop him from beating up your friend. You hadn't told Rob about you and Rafa's escapade but Rob had long ago figured out that Rafa was into you - and you knew that he had been looking for every excuse to fight it out with him.

"Everything's fine, baby," you tried, "Rafa didn't do anything. We were just talking. Everything's fine, I swear!"

Rob's eyes were huge, his nostrils flared as he gently pushed you aside and went head to head with Rafa, "what the fuck are you doing, Casal?! Are you trying to get with my girl?"

"I'm protecting her from you."

"And you plan on doing that by hooking up with her?"

Rafa stood up straight, trying to make himself a few inches taller, "I plan on doing that by actually showing her some emotional support!"

"Don't fucking touch what isn't yours!" Rob was snarling angrily.

"Rich coming from you," Rafa said calmly with a small growl, "do you feel like a big man when you cheat on your girl?"

Rafa's choice of words had Rob shooting him a sickening smile, "that's right, Casal," Rob smiled humourlessly "she's my girl. Not yours. And you know what? She never will be yours. You will never get to touch her, to kiss her, to fuck her. She will never want you. I know you've been dying to experience it but you will never get to see her with your cock in her mouth," he said devilishly.

"Rob!" You interjected, disgusted with how your boyfriend was talking.

Rafa couldn't help himself. He knew he would be disloyal to you and that it would escalate the situation immensely, but he was desperate to wipe away Rob's stupid grin so he too smiled before he calmly said, "oh, you don't think I know what she looks like with my cock in her mouth?"

"Rafa!" You hissed loudly from behind your boyfriend.

Rob's smug face fell considerably and although Rafa could hear the disappointment in your voice, he continued, "what? She didn't tell you?"

In a matter of seconds, Rob's face went from red to purple. He took a firm grip in the collar of Rafa's shirt and plunged his head forwards. Rob's forehead hit Rafa's face with a sickening crunch, and Rafa staggered backwards but was on his feet not long after, decking Rob in the face with his closed fist.

"Please stop!" you pleaded them and tried to pull them apart, but Rob punched Rafa in the stomach, causing him to fall to the ground with a thud when all the air was knocked out of his lungs.

Rob plunged forward, put a leg on either side of Rafa and started hitting him repeatedly.

Rafa was desperately trying to defend himself against the rain of fists that were coming at him, but was so busy trying to avert Rob, that he didn't have the ability to fight back. Luckily, Rob was grabbed from behind by two guys that hurled him backwards and off of Rafa. Rob unsuccessfully fought to wrestle himself free from Oak and Anthony'a grips while yelling, "I'm going to break your fucking skull!"

Meanwhile Rafa, who was now back on his feet, was trying to wrestle himself out of Diggs' grip, responding with a "I'd like to see you try, you fucking pussy!"

As Rob and Rafa were trying to fight the men off of them, you stepped in, "what the hell is the matter with you two?" you bellowed.

Rob looked as if he had almost forgotten you were there, the sound of your voice immediately making him stop squirming in Anthony and Oak's arms as he looked at you. Ant and Oak released their grip on him, and instead of flying towards Rafa, Rob took a few deep breaths, his eyes piercing through you as he tried to calm himself down.

"How about breaking my skull now?" Rafa yelled at him while squirming around in Diggs arms hoping to break free.

Rob's gaze flew towards Rafa, while Oak and Anthony took a step closer, ready to punch him to the ground if he tried anything. Rob felt the two men nearing him and looked as if he had only just realised that if he jumped Rafa again, he would have to deal with Oak, Ant, and Diggs too. He took an ultimate decision and with a last look at you, he huffed, turned on his heel and angrily walked away with balled up fists.

Diggs loosened his grip on Rafa who immediately ran to you, "are you okay?" He almost yelled, his voice laced with concern, "I'm so, so sorry you had to see that!"

You looked up at him with a dark expression, "how fucking dare you!" You started out in a whisper but your voice gradually became louder as your tone changed to anger, "how dare you talk about me like that! As if I'm some conquest that you brag about to your mates!"

"I know I'm sorry," Rafa panted, avoiding your gaze, "Heat of the moment."

"Rafa look at me," you searched his face, "this is over," you said slowly, painfully aware that you were breaking his heart in front of his friends.

"It's over?" He looked as if he didn't understand what you were saying.

"We can't see each other anymore. It's over!"

"What? You're choosing that clown over me? What does he have that I don't?"

"Rafa why can't you see that you're just as big of a clown as he is!"

"...what the fuck are you talking about?!" He panted desperately, "I'm just trying to make you realise that he's a dick! I'm helping you. He's treating you like shit!"

"I don't need or want your help. What I want is for you to stay the fuck away from me," you said angrily giving him a small shove. With one last look back at Rafa, you turned on your heel and desperately ran towards your boyfriend who had almost reached his car.

Rafa watched you chase after Rob. He watched you desperately explain the situation to him. Watched you apologise of all people. Watched Rob take you in his arms as if he was the one who had to forgive you. He watched you kiss Rob's cheek before you started crying. Rafa's heart was aching horribly. He almost couldn't stand still.

He watched you get in Rob's car, kiss the man passionately before he pumped the speeder, sending Rafa a smirk as you once again kissed his cheek. Rafa painfully watched you drive away and all he was left behind with was a black eye, a chipped tooth, and a broken heart.

#rafael casal x reader #rafael casal #daveed diggs #blindspotting #rafael casal imagine #rafael casal fanfiction #bay boys #they gon fight #heartbreak

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