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jtl-fics · 10 months

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Fluent Freshman - Part 32

He had the first week back from Thanksgiving break off from both classes and practice.

The week off of classes leaves FF feeling like getting stabbed has been a net positive experience for him.

First he feels like it really cemented the apparent friendship he had with at least Andrew and Neil. Second, he technically had a job offer in his Freshman year. Third, and most important, his language professor who had wanted him to come and speak to his gen-ed Latin class of over 100 students told him not to worry about it and that he had gotten one of FF’s friends to agree to the presentation instead.

His relief was so immediate and all-consuming that he hadn’t even had the energy to pretend he was upset that he had been replaced. Thankfully his teacher just chalked it up to relief that he wouldn’t have to stand up and present when his stomach was healing from the surgery.

Coach Wymack and Abby wouldn’t even let him go to the Court. Kevin had tried to argue quite a few times on Sunday when that decision had been made. Argued that he could sit in and watch for strategy purposes if nothing else.

However, even Kevin couldn’t guarantee that FF wouldn’t get accidentally run into / knocked against considering his complete lack of presence.

Matt had rushed into Abby’s house having made a bee-line for it upon reaching the airport. “Smiths! You got stabbed!” Matt yelled as if informing him of his own predicament.

“Yeah.” FF agreed as if it were something that could have been debated.

“What happened?! Nicky just sent a pic of the flowers he got you and the card?” Matt had asked pulling his backpack off his shoulder and to his front as he unzipped it and rooted around for something before pulling out an orange envelope. “This is from me and Dan, you remember her right?” Matt had asked.

FF thought of quiet conversations he has overheard over the phone and not so quiet noises Matt makes when engaging in some phone sex with his girlfriend.

“Yes, I remember Dan.” FF had said diplomatically and accepted the card.

The card was sitting on the nightstand at Abby’s house next to the card the Monsters, his grandma, other teammates, and some cards from friends he had made outside of Exy. It feels nice to look at the multiple cards all wishing him well.

His Grandma was going to stay for two weeks and Abby was being incredibly kind to put them up

He spent most of that week sleeping, spending time with his grandma, getting yelled at by Abby for trying to do chores, and spending time with the Foxes that came to visit him.

Nicky had come over to hang out every day without fail. Most of the upperclassmen who were on the original ‘miracle’ team of the Foxes stopped in to see him regularly. Even Jack stopped in to complain about how Captain Neil presented a danger to the rest of them before giving him a Get Well Soon card and leaving.

It was a strangely thoughtful card that he’s near positive Jack’s girlfriend picked out for him. When the end of the week and the first game that FF would need to sit out from approached Coach Wymack asked if he wanted to come.

“You can’t play, but you’re still a Fox.” Wymack had said and his grandma had encouraged him to go and spend time with his friends. She’d hold down the fort for Abby, cook up a bunch of food for the the team to enjoy when they got back late.

So FF climbed onto the bus and sat next to Nicky who had declared himself FF’s bodyguard for the evening who’s safety he would only pass off to Coach Wymack during the game proper.

***

They’ve come so damn far from the worst team in the Division. His kids are thriving and because of that he’s gotten a larger budget. A larger budget to better help his kids with. David would be lying if he said he didn’t spend some nights wishing he could tell himself of a few years ago just how good it would get.

Still, the match is a lot closer than it should be.

He looks to his side and sees FF sitting there watching the game with rapt attention.

He looks as Sheena fumbles a pass that his newest problem child had mastered the timing of a month before. He sees Kevin’s shoulders go up in anger but Neil’s quick reflexes save it before the play is fully fumbled.

Neil makes a feint to pass to Kevin and the goal lights up putting them in the lead by 2 goals. David thinks of the numerous plays that would have gone smoother with the kid next to him playing instead of Sheena but there was no point in wishing for things that couldn’t be.

FF wouldn’t be playing until the Spring Championships started up and David would need to address FF’s medical hiatus and Lisa’s ‘family emergency’ that had her leaving the team.

It always stung when a Fox left but it hurt less when it was of their own volition instead of in a body bag.

He looks to the side again and thinks of the numerous decisions he had needed to make as Kevin slept in the car on the way to the hospital. Honestly, if he still was thinking about going after the hospital.

How the fuck did the hospital just leave the damn kid in a hallway for over an hour? He hates the thought of FF laying there in pain and bleeding watching as people went by.

He’s grateful that the kid didn’t seem to remember it.

He wasn’t going to mention it to any of the other Foxes, not even FF if he could swing it. He has no doubt that at the very least Andrew and Neil would go on a rampage and he’s near positive that Kevin would take special delight in it considering a week on he was still bitching about what he had seen in the Nutritionist office.

He’s not sure what Nicky would do but he knows it’d give him a headache.

Nicky takes a hard hit that has him subbed out for one of the freshman backliners. Nicky’s a little woozy and Abby confirms a very slight concussion that she’ll keep an eye on during the trip back.

They win by slimmer margins than they should but it’s to be expected.

“Coach Wymack?” FF asks.

“What’s up?” David asks.

“I’m going to go to the bathroom. It...uh...well it takes a while now.” FF says and David can read the embarrassment.

“Meet us at the bus. Be careful.” he orders.

FF nods and heads off.

Neil and Matt are on press duty and David preps the press to let them know about FF and Lisa. There are some questions about what kind of medical hiatus but David declined to answer knowing that Neil and Matt wouldn’t let it slip either.

His last two players get showered and on the bus.

He does a count and gets the correct number and starts the bus.

They’re just about to get on the highway when there’s a shout, “Wait! Where’s Smithy?!” Nicky exclaims full volume over the general conversation that had been going on throughout the bus.

David frowns, he had counted-

Abby. He had counted Abby’s head next to Nicky.

“Oh god dammit.” he says.

***

FF looked at where the bus should have been waiting for him.

He closes his eyes and hopes that the bus will appear between blinks.

He opens his eyes again and finds...nope just fans milling about heading to their own cars and home. He gives a hopeful look across the parking lot wondering if the bus maybe just got moved back somewhere so that they could get out easier after he went and made them wait?

A lot of people. Some kids. Some disappointed Belmonte fans. Some excited Fox fans. Some general Exy fanatics who were discussing what the Belmonte team would need to do to stay in for the Spring Championships.

No Palmetto State Fox team bus.

He swallows a bit of disappointment and moves past it.

He pulled up his phone to plug in Abby’s house and saw that it would be a 4 day hike from Belmonte. He looked down at his shoes contemplating if they’d make the over 300 miles of walking. The doctors and Abby had been very clear not to do too much exercise but surely it wouldn’t count since he was just going to walk? They said walking was fine right?

FF sighed at the thought.

Yeah, it wasn’t going to work.

His stomach hurts at the thought of a 5 hour car ride. Maybe there was a bus station nearby and he could make his way back via greyhound.

He was looking at his phone again when it started to ring and Nicky’s face was on his screen to let him know who the caller was.

He hit the answer button, “Hello-“

There was an inhale and FF had been on the receiving end of this quite a few times at this point so he held his phone the entire length of his arm away from his ear, “SMITHY, ARE YOU ON THE BUS OR DID WE FORGET YOU?!” Nicky screeches and it hurts his ears even from an entire arms length away. He wonders how in the world Nicky can stand being that loud with his minor concussion.

He stares at his phone dubiously for a few moments, worried that Nicky may shout again.

“Smithy?! Smithy?” He hears Nicky’s not quite as loud but very concerned voice. FF decides to bite the bullet.

“Hello Nicky, I am not on the bus.” He says.

“We fucking LEFT SMITHY!” Nicky yells and FF can hear a collective groan from across the line.

He may even hear Coach Wymack yelling something about ‘again’ and feels shame burn in his stomach. He should have just held in his pee. He hadn’t really needed to go that badly and it’s not like Coach Wymack doesn’t take bathroom breaks.

“It’s okay.” He rushes to assure Nicky. “I can…grab a bus or something. You don’t need to come back, I’m-“

“Young man, if you say that you’re fine I can not be held responsible for what I will do when I see you in the next 20 minutes.” Nicky threatens. “I also can’t be held responsible for what I’ll do to Neil since I feel like he’s infected you somehow.” He says.

He hears a distant “Hey” followed by an even more distant “Man, I hate to say it but I think he’s right.”

“I don’t want to bother you.” He says.

“Smithy, you are so far from a bother it is insane. How about I stay on the line with you okay?” Nicky asks but something has caught his eye.

Two kids haven’t moved as the rest of the world continued to. He watched as they clung to one another and no one seemed to take notice of them. He doesn’t understand how anyone could miss them with the bright orange children’s jerseys they had on. One sporting 01 - Josten and the other 10 - Josten on the backs.

“That’s okay Nicky. Call me when you’re close.” He says and makes his way over.

He can see the little boy’s hand holding the little girl’s hand tightly and is careful to walk around them in a way so that he wouldn’t appear out of nowhere. “Hey,” he squatted down to their height and the little boy still jumped slightly, dropping a small book to the ground, and the little girl hid her face in his shoulder. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I just noticed you looked a little lost.” He says and his muscles won’t pull in a way to offer a reassuring smile but he hopes he can convey it through his tone.

The little boy visibly swallows down nervous spit, “I’m not supposed to talk to strangers.” He says holding on tighter to the little girl.

“Smart, continue to do that.” He says immediately, “Can you just nod yes or no for me?” He asks instead.

The boy thinks for a long moment before nodding affirmatively.

“Great, good job.” He says, “Did you come to the stadium with your parents?” He asks

A nod in the affirmative.

“Do your parents know where you are?” He asks.

He shakes his head in a negative.

“Are you lost?” He asks.

Another negative.

“So you mean to be right here?” He wants to clarify.

A nod in the affirmative this time.

FF takes a moment to piece together what he knows and looks down at the book.

An autograph book. “Oh, you wanted to get an autograph from Captain Neil?” he asks.

The little boy looks up but it’s the little girl who answers. She finally takes her face out from his shoulder. FF’s eyes can’t help but see the large burn scar on her cheek but also see how her eyes sparkle with delight, “You know Captain Josten?!” she exclaims in delight.

“Millie!” The young boy says. “He’s a stranger!” he hisses.

“Nu-uh!” she shakes her head, “Number 14!” she points at his jersey he had worn in solidarity. “He passes to Captain Josten!” she says brightly. “See Brandon?” she smiles.

It could just be a fan jersey though FF highly doubts that anyone would buy fan merch for him. He is no Kevin Day, Captain Neil Josten, or Andrew Minyard.

Still the little boy, Brandon, looks at him with wide eyes, “You’re Smith?” he asks.

“Yeah.” FF nods, “Captain Neil is my Captain.” he says.

“I love Captain Josten! I wanna marry him!” Millie says and FF can’t help but wonder if Andrew would squash such adorable competition. “His face is like mine!” she giggles.

“Yeah, your face is as cool as Captain Neil’s is.” FF agrees with completely sincerity.

“We came out here to get Captain Josten’s signature” Brandon says with a pout, “All the adults were in the way and it was...kind of scary.” he admits with a flush.

A thought occurs to him. He doesn’t want to leave these kids and brave the crowds to find someone to announce the lost kids. It would only be about 12 more minutes before the bus comes. Coach Wymack would be able to help and...

“They’re coming to pick me up pretty soon. How about we stay right here and we can get Captain Neil’s autograph together?” he asks.

Both kids light up at the idea. “Really?” they both ask.

“Yeah, I also want Captain Neil’s autograph.” he says because he does. He’s wanted Captain Neil’s autograph for AGES but had been too awkward to ask. Then Greg had come and made it seem like FF would want it just to sell it or something.

Now he has the perfect excuse.

***

David pulled into the spot he had left almost half an hour ago and barely managed to put the bus into park before most of his more senior players were prying the door open to go look for FF.

Nicky had called but FF hadn’t picked up and it had set his more paranoid players’ teeth on edge.

The only one that stayed on the bus was Nicky since Abby had a firm grip on him.

David sighed and told everyone else to stay put before exiting the bus and began the herculean effort of trying to spot FF in a crowd.

It actually wasn’t too hard as he found his players standing and watching as FF crouched with his back to them as two little kids in orange Fox jerseys were re-enacting something for him.

He’d be tempted to let them keep going if he didn’t remember Abby’s list of specific things FF shouldn’t do with his still healing stomach and squatting like that was definitely on the list.

“Smith.” he says and watches as the Freshman jolts and tips over, thankfully onto his side, from his squatted position.

The kids get nervous when they see him but then their eyes both lock on Neil’s face. For a moment his heart aches for his player, plenty of kids have cried about Neil’s scars but then his eyes land on the little girl’s face more properly and...

Oh...

Those are stars in her eyes. David looks at the two different Josten kids jerseys that the Palmetto store had released.

FF recovers from his tumble admirably, “Coach Wymack,” he says getting up onto his feet. “These two are lost, can you see if there’s a way to contact their parents?” he asks.

David nods and pulls out his phone and steps away slightly.

He watches over the interaction that happens next.

As promised, FF had taken the awkward lead of asking for it and had them form a line. It had been weird but he watched as understanding dawned in Captain Neil’s eyes as he saw the two Josten jerseys. It had felt even less weird to get Captain Neil’s autograph when Matt had jokingly gotten in line behind Brandon because he too wanted Captain Neil’s autograph.

FF felt a little bad that Captain Neil had been so flustered by the requests but at least he finally had the Captain Neil autograph he’d wanted since last March. It also felt nice when Captain Neil had smiled the way he did at Millie when she babbled about how they matched.

Andrew had bumped into him in the way that FF was learning meant that he was pleased with whatever FF had just done. Kevin and Aaron had been the ones to ask if his stitches were okay after his startled tumble.

Millie and Brandon’s parents were incredibly grateful and swore to continue to be lifelong fans of the Foxes. Millie and Brandon themselves had been more excited about their Captain Neil Josten autographs than being reunited with their parents. They had waved goodbye with Millie loudly proclaiming that her and Captain Neil would get married someday.

Climbing onto the bus he was subjected to a check over by Abby when both Kevin and Aaron dragged him to her. Then he was sat down next to Nicky who shoved him into the window seat and cuddled up. “I won’t lose track of you if I’m on you.” was his logic.

The bus ride resumed.

“I didn’t know you liked kids.” Nicky says head on FF’s shoulder. “I’ve watched you go to the other side of the street to avoid middle school kids.” he adds.

FF feels ice in his stomach.

“Middle school kids are mean.” FF says and doesn’t properly answer the question but Nicky is just concussed enough to not call him on it.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

Like I said in my last part I will be tagging people separate from the actual update going forward. Still any requests to be added to the tag list feel free to put in the replies here.

#Fluent Freshman AU #Nicky was getting ready to call any and all local dairy farmers #to start the 'have you seen me?' campaign #Nicky was also trying to figure out how to tell Aras that he lost her entire grandson #He may have been freaking out in the bus with Abby #'I'm gonna lose GRANDSON PRIVILEGES ALL OVER AGAIN #Thankfully FF wasn't far and now Nicky knows to just truly superglue himself to FF. Buddy system for life #Yeah so you may have caught it in the previous bit #part 27 #Andrew and Neil's concern about FF getting forgotten in a hallway did actually happen #and FF passed out there #Only Wymack's call for an update galvanized them to find him and start helping him #The Foxes get back and GS has a bunch of Tupperwear #full of delicious food for them since it's so late #Nicky and Matt are halfway through getting her a custom 'Foxy Grandma' Jersey #She's discovered quite a bit more knitting to be done for FF's friends #That sweet boy Matt deserves a knitted present too #Maybe even that brash young man Jack should get in on the GS knitted presents train #Well now it's out there in the world that FF is on a medical Hiatus #I'm sure nothing will happen #this is a lie I know the chain of events that are to follow #AFTG #AFTG AU #AFTG OC #Andreil #FF - Part 32

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introspectivememories · 8 months

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roger who's nickname for buggy was "junebug" cause they found him in june and his hair is the same color.... buggy who hates it at first until he's climbing into his captain's bed at night bc of a nightmare and his captain says ever so softly, "oh junebug, c'mere"..... the nickname getting adopted by everyone on the crew until nobody calls him buggy anymore..... them meeting up with thr whitebeard pirates and getting irrationally jealous when the whitebeards use the nickname bc that's their nickname and who the fuck do these people think they are getting so close to their junebug.... rouge who has never met buggy calling him junebug in her head.... roger whose last words to buggy that fateful day before loguetown was "you shine like the sun, junebug. never stop"..... buggy who waits for years after the execution for a call from one of his former crew members, hoping every time the den-den one day it'll be rayleigh or seagull or gaban or sunbell on the other side with a familiar "hey junebug", except no one ever calls and the years go by and buggy slowly learns to stop waits, and gives on being the roger's junebug and learns how to be buggy the clown, buggy the genius jester, buggy the immortal, everything and anything other than junebug

#the thing about buggy is that he is always loved but never enough yknow?#and he'll never be his dad's junebug again and it kills him some days #he'll never argue with shanks again and have rayleigh come and break them apart with a 'junebug! shanks! enough you're both dumbasses'#toki-neesan will never let him curl up with momo and hiyori again #those days are over and yet somedays he looks in the mirror and he is still 14 wtching his captain's head hit the ground with a splat #he is still 12 watching his dad walk away from them and knowing in his heart that this was the end #he is still 8 and climbing onto his new home and when his captain asks for his name he says 'buggy sir' and capt laughs and says #'what an ordinary name for a boy like you!' as shanks look ready to well shank capt for the perceived slight against buggy #he is still 8 and sitting on captain's shoulders as his dad says 'do you see how beautiful she is junebug? you carry her with you'#he'll never be junebug again but by god he wants it so badly he thinks he'll die from the ache of it #(junebug is dead and has been dead for a long time but smtimes when he sits by shanks and they're sharing a drink as they carefully tiptoe #around certain topics; shanks'll just Look at him and for one soft gut-wrenching moment junebug is alive again #and then the moment passes and they're back to being buggy and shanks: two broken men desperately trying to make sense of the cards #gave them)#op buggy #buggy the clown #buggy one piece #gol d. roger #roger pirates #anyway how y'all doin?

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twpsyn-who · 1 month

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Today on "Another JeanMarco Soulmate AU absolutely no one asked for" I present to you -

Soulmate AU in which you stop seeing colors when your soulmate dies, the only exception being your soulmate. Now cue to Jean who just found Marco's, his best friend's, body. And you know, there's the shock of finding out Marco's dead. The pain and confusion and guilt. But there's also the revelation, because despite everything he can still see Marco like nothing took place at all- yes, half of his face is missing and his body is straight up lifeless, but Jean can still make out the color of his eye ; see that light shade of brown perfectly, remember all the times he has found himself looking at them while listening to Marco talk. He can still make out the colors of his uniform, see the same shade of black his hair has always had, practically see. Despite being dead, Marco was the only piece of color left in his life.

And there's denial for a moment because there's no way Marco was his soulmate. But that goes away fast, getting replaced by guilt. By the fact that he hasn't been there to save him, that Marco has to die all alone without anyone being there for him.

And that was worse than the simple fact that he could no longer see colors ; because Marco was there when Jean needed him, but he failed to do the same. And not only he lost his best friend that day, but his other half too.

#Anyway this fucker doesn't tell anyone about the whole soulmate thing. Not of shame of anything but because he's mourning man and also is no #One's business. Anyway the first one to find out is Armin because he notices and ever since he makes sure to mention colors as often as he #can. Like 'These flowers are a nice shade of red' or 'Green suits you well Jean! You should wear this shirt' stuff like that #Jean does appreciates it once he gets over his ego and pain and lets other people get closer to him #Funny enough Jean is the only one in that situation loool. Well I don't know about Reiner and Historia is getting there soon enough but #everyone else??? Colors everywhere man #Is both funny and sad #'Since when..?' Jean expected that question yet he wasn't truly ready to answer it. Deep down he knew he was never going to be ready for it #'Trost' his voice stains sightly while naming the city. His own city. The place he grew up in all his life. The others say nothing else #after that confession. They were all aware many has died during Trost. It wasn't that far fetched for Jean's soulmate to be some civilian #lost during the evacuations or something. But then Connie's eyes widen ever so sightly the realization sitting in. He doesn't even register #when he says 'It was Marco right?' and regrets it immediately. Jean's painful face is all the answer they needed #Also Historia ready the letter and the world losing colors while she's doing that??? Her tearing up a little but not letting herself cry #until she gets alone???? Her going to Jean once that happens and them comforting each other?????#They starts seeing colors again once Eren dies. Poor Jean is trying his best to not have a breakdown because Connie needed him more in that #moment #Reading* wtf my tags make no sens sorry guys I'm lowkey tired #aot #jean kirstein #jeanmarco #aot jean #marco bodt #marco bott #aot marco #jean kirschstein #snk #JeanMarco Soulmate AU #soulmates au #I'm not sad you are

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quietwingsinthesky · 9 months

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what if. Amy “fix-it” because hallucifer makes sam so paranoid about dean leaving for no reason that sam gives in and follows him and is witness to the whole thing

#hallucifer: wow. big brother really trusts us. (beat) so something’s up right? we know it’s never this easy.#sam: (visibly restraining himself from saying shut up. about to grab his scar.)#hallucifer: (aware he’s about to be banished) don’t listen to me if you want but. I’m just trying to help.#don’t blame me if you look in the papers tomorrow and find a obit for your brain-eating girlfriend. and… what was her kid’s name again?#sam: (touching the scar. not pressing down. face all screwed up.) || hallucifer: :3 it’s not like it’ll hurt anyone #if he really does trust you he doesn’t even have to know we’re following him. *and* you’ll know your brother still trusts you.#even when I’m here. maybe he won’t even punch you again. that still hurting?#sam: (grimace. because yeah. it does.) || hallucifer: door number two - he thinks you’ve lost it and he’s going to stab that woman to death.#so what’s it gonna be Sam? ready to gamble your friend’s life on if Dean gives a shit about your opinion?#[and that’s the point where sam goes to follow dean. still doesn’t talk to Lucifer. not there yet. but oh hallucifer is sooo pleased with #himself about this. because he’s Sam. and he picks up on what Sam doesn’t. and he could see all of Dean’s little giveaways that Sam was #turning a blind eye to. and now here’s the perfect opportunity to put a wedge between them and get sam to trust him more <3)#GOD. FUCK. IM UPSET NOW. WHY WASNT HALLUCIFER IN THAT EPISODE. MOST OF THE EPISODES?#such a good fucking concept. squandered.#anyway. idk if sam saves Amy but he DEFINITELY here’s Dean’s little speech to her about how she can’t change.#hallucifer with faux sympathy like (sigh) damn. well. i always told you what he was like. Michael. Michael-sword. no difference.#both of them want us dead the moment we step out of line.#and Sam just frozen there in horror with Lucifer’s voice sinking in. and he believes him. how can he not. with dean proving him right #hallucifer #spn #sam winchester #amy pond

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captsharonstark · 1 year

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“You look…”

“You look incredible.”

#00swann #james bond #madeleine swann #daniel Craig #Léa Seydoux #THIS SCENE MAKES MY HEART SO FULL #how they get closer and closer #how he’s being an absolute dork trying to make her laugh #trying to get her to crack a smile #and her little ‘don’t’#but she can’t resist him #he can’t resist her #they’ve missed each other so much #missed out on so much time together and they were ready to fix that #you can hear it in their voice #how desperate they are to have each other again #and you can see it in their eyes and the way they kiss one another

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musubiki · 10 months

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Comedy gold if just before the end of the time skip Lime has an open and honest conversation with himself saying that yes he did love mochi and she means the world to him but she’s gone now maybe it’s time we moved on in life and he’s finally able to say goodbye to her out loud while by himself in some tent he’s made himself for the night. And then the next morning Mochi comes back and he’s just “fuck all that my GIRL IS BAAAAACK!!! :DDDD”

HONESTLY HE DOES GO THROUGH SOMETHING LIKE THIS DURING THE TIMESKIP!!!!! (over a much longer period of acceptance, and honestly, good for him he needed to learn how to let go and not have an unhealthy obsession)

BUT HE WENT THROUGH ALL THE STAGES OF GRIEF JUST TO HAVE HER COME BACK AND NOW HES LIKE "well fuck i already emotionally told myself i would let her go and now shes here and shes wonderful and beautiful as ever, do I stick to my convictions of letting it go or let myself fall in love with her again?!" -- he says to himself but really fighting against it is so impossible for him. he claims "No I'm over her, I swear to god. I'm grown and matured as a person and I don't like how much she influences how I feel, I won't let myself fall in love with her AGAIN." and then she pops in like "Do you want to get pancakes? They have a blueberry swirl frosting special this week!! 👉👈 " and hes like "Fuck. Yes. God damn it I love her so much."

#mochi just missing him an insane amount and trying to spend time with him #shes so confused because sometimes he seems so distant from her but when she asks him to do something/go somewhere with her #all of a sudden hes so down and ready #its so easy to tell yourself (im over my crush) when theyre not around #but as soon as you see them/hear from them again...#really hes mad at himself cuz he thought he was so much stronger than this #like if he resolves to something hes going to stick to it #but when it comes to this he just crumbles instantly

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bumblingbabooshka · 2 years

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I will walk down to the end with you / If you will come all the way down with me.

#B'Elanna Torres #B'Elanna art #B'Elanna #-thinks so hard about B'Elanna's self image issues and about how Tom Paris could be baked into an apple pie he oozes so much All American #Charm and about how B'Elanna was literally ready to break up with Tom because she felt he wasn't committed to her emotionally #and didn't prioritize her needs/wants and when she tried to bring it up he didn't address any of that and instead just asked her to marry #him and she said yes bc it's what she wanted wasn't it? But also thinks about how getting married solves literally 0 of their problems bc #that wasn't the issue - and how they never REALLY talked about the issue she had and the proposal seemed more like a desperate attempt to #hold onto her and B'Elanna's acceptance was her tightening her grip as well and thinks about how the solution to Tom not prioritizing #B'Elanna was framed as B'Elanna trying to do what Tom wanted and about how B'Elanna blames her mother entirely for her father abandoning #them - how she blames SPECIFICALLY the fact that her mother was too Klingon and about how Tom blames the fact that he never showed how much #he cares about/is committed to B'Elanna on the fact that she has 'that tough Klingon exterior' and how her response is #'do I look that tough right now?' and about how B'Elanna associates Klingon features so strongly with negativity - unloveability - rejection #that she tries to erase her features from her daughter's face and make her Human which to her means Good and Beautiful and Loveable and #about how she STILL after all this time only wants her father to love her again. Thinks about fear of abandonment which makes you hold onto #something which doesn't work bc you can't bear to be alone or fail. If she said no to Tom's proposal who else would she have? And #doesn't it feel like a prize? Like you finally WON. The Human Prince wants to marry you - you're FINALLY good enough for someone to sign #a contract saying they'll never leave you. Even if they don't pay attention to you - even if they abandon you to pursue their own interests #every time something shinier comes up they'll never LEAVE and that's what you're the most afraid of. Thinks about the fear of being too much #and too klingon and about how B'Elanna told Tom it was okay he forgot their romantic getaway even though she took so much time to plan it #and was so excited for it because she didn't want to spoil his fun (is being with her work?) and about how she still remembers that little #human boy who pointed at her forehead ridges and called her 'turtlehead' until she beat him so viciously they had to pull her off him #Thinks about all of those things VERY hard and EXPLODES-#bea art tag #st voyager #st voyager art #CHARACTER. OF. ALL. TIME.

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the-yearning-astronaut · 7 months

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#☉#already getting stress induced nose bleeds again lmao #bro's not even back in the house yet but him and dad were going at it tonight #yelling at each other in the kitchen and i could hear them from my room in the basement #im so tired of it all #especially since my mom and i get to listen to them bitch about each other afterwards #before he moves back in im setting a firm boundary: unless i ask about something specifically *i don't want to hear about it*#ive hit minute 22 with this nose bleed now #i thought it was gonna be a short one (10-15 mins) but nooooo #i can feel it getting worse #based off my experience last summer im pretty sure that if i could just....#get out of this fuckin house #80% of my health problems will improve on their own #since all of them are triggered/aggravated by stress #too bad im fuckin stuck here for the foreseeable future #tbd #edit: 25 mins in and i think it's stopped for the time being...#i can hear my dad bitching about my brother to my mom rn while she's trying to get ready for bed #because she just got home with working her second job #and has to be up in 7hrs for her first one 😭#i want to yell at him to shut up or yell at my mom to tell him to shut up #neither of us will do such things tho #and so it goes

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avisisisis · 11 months

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Oh my god they were gonna move to England together

#just watched TASM 2 again #i have. feelings.#peter was going to leave new york to be with gwen #he was actually going to do it #and i would've loved it so much bc #it was so well-written and so in character for both of them #i love how gwen was written to be an actual person instead of only a love interest #she had her own dreams and wishes and she was her own person #and she wasn't going to stop trying to make them come true just for peter no matter how much she loved him #she was a person #her life didn't revolve around peter's #and she was so ready to leave but she also subconsciously knew that she wouldn't have to do it alone bc she just knows peter so well #and he wrote “i love you” with his webs #and she was his path #and she died before they got to live together #and she died and took all her dreams with her #spider-man #gwen stacy #peter parker #gwen x peter #what's their ship name #peter x gwen #the amazing spider man #tasm #tasm 2 #tasm peter parker #tasm gwen stacy #was it england? i'm pretty sure it was england

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sashimiyas · 1 year

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reina i beg 🙇‍♀️ can i ask if the reader and osamu gets back together/him remembers their past in the burden of being fic (i think that’s the name 🥲) cause like… my brain is remembering how reader mentioned that being with him in this state would only be a heartbreak for them since reader will remember all the past but osamu doesn’t… and and!!! that would be too sadge even if they do get together 🥲

god minnie, i’m so happy you brought up the burden of being. i’ve been sad bc i’ve missed being caught up in a story the way that the burden of being had me.

but you can rest easy. they do get back together :) i actually don’t imagine osamu gaining back all his memories to be honest. there are some things that come back to him, i think the bavo-kun memory is one of them because it’s one of the most recent ones but for the most part, he does navigate reconnecting with reader and all the members of hyogo ward instinctually.

it’s kind of like when you show up to a family reunion and you have all these aunties and uncles saying they knew you when you were this tall. that kind of thing. like he knows these people have been involved in his life some way or another and that he’s meant to be kind and receptive to their generosity. but truly, he cannot place them in his mind prior to remeeting them again.

osamu initially loves her like it is second nature. he cannot explicitly say why he does. he just knows, deep down, in his heart and soul and body, that he does. he loves her. it does make for difficult courtship in the beginning but they are able to restart their relationship as two absolutely different people. because reader from the beginning of the burden of being is absolutely different than the one from the end. the same, obviously goes for osamu.

osamu also never goes back to cooking for a living! he does enjoy it as a side hobby, but he ends up staying on his pro volleyball path. he does leave msby after his falling out with atsumu and i think he finds himself on a division 2 league. he’s still good but a lot of time had passed since he’d taken a break and part of the reason he got a position of a division 1 team is because of atsumu.

akaashi ends up owning o.mo.ide all on his own. reader eventually hands over the restaurant solely to him and she does find her cushy it job so she can continue to spoil osamu just like she wished.

#reina.receives #i hope this answers your question #if not. i’ll try again! i do have this particular scene in my head #osamu’s still hesitant in stepping inside reader’s apartment when he finds out they used to live in it together. they’ve gone on some dates #already and the two of them awkwardly stands outside her door. akaashi is peeping through the eyehole as they speak lmfao. but the dates #have been good. they both know this. and this one was extra spectacular. they’re getting it down. allowing themselves the moment rather than #being latched onto by the past. and she offers if he wants to come inside. osamu has his hands in his jacket pockets and he waves them about #as he sways on his heel. he wants to. but is he ready? he doesn’t want to ruin already what they’ve had. but he decides to. and so he goes #inside. you’re opening the door as akaashi scrambles to act nonchalant. bokuto is there as well to lessen the awkwardness #and mumu has shown to hate every man that has walked through your doors. but at the sight of osamu. he gives him a stare that lasts minutes #and then he curls himself between osamu’s ankles before ricocheting off to cause some mayhem in akaashi’s room. mimi was never a cat that #*mumu #osamu fed. but it just goes to show. how osamu’s scent has stayed in your bed and in your sheets despite that fact that you can no longer #smell them. he’s been there. he always has even if you could no longer find him.

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alchemania · 6 months

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Fractured Mirror.

Inazuma was not a place he haunted often, but Tetsuya found himself roaming here again, as Furina had wanted to get out and about seeing the world in her long journey to self discovery. Everything felt familiar - the maple trees, the sakura blossoms, the dendrobiums dotted across the beaches in silent testimony - but it did not feel like home; though it was the land of his birth.

Being slightly taller, it was easy to fall in stride with his friend, taking in everything around him in silence - he wasn't one to talk much, which was nice at times considering Furina was a chatterbox and a half. “It's so pretty here,” she breathed, eyes wide with wonder, and he nodded, noncommittally. That was one thing he would not disagree with - despite everything, Inazuma WAS beautiful. All of a sudden, the chatter and hustle and bustle around them seemed to stop, and Wanderer snapped to attention, eyes guarded.

“What's going on.”

“I'm not sure,” his friend replied nervously, walking up to a resident. “Um .. excuse me, what's happening???”

“She's coming!”

“Who is???”

But the woman took off in an excited dash, leaving a very confused former Hydro Archon in the dust, and she turned to Tetsuya, eyebrows raising all the way to her hairline. He shrugged in answer, shaking his head. “Looks like people around here are useless, as always. Guess we have no choice but to see for ourselves.” There turned out to be no need for that though, the crowd parted like a river a moment after that as a tall woman with violet hair pulled back in a braid that practically swept the floor made her way through, her very presence demanding respect. The duo froze, though for very different reasons, and Furina's jaw practically hit the ground.

“Is- is that-”

“The Raiden Shogun,” Tetsuya finished for her, eyes narrowing almost imperceptibly. “Yes.” Turning to his companion, he frowned. “Close your mouth. You're going to let flies in.” The girl hastily did so, staring up in awe as the other archon approached, while Wanderer merely glowered. Raiden practically towered over them both, her eyes curious as she sized them up.

“I know you,” she said, in greeting, and Tetsuya seemed as pale as the moon, throat closing up. No, no, that was impossible, there was no way she should - but then she moved closer to Furina, and he belatedly realized Ei was only speaking to her. “The Traveler has told me much of your endeavors. I must say, I have only the utmost respect, knowing all that has happened.”

“Ah- um,” the girl stammered, eyes very, very wide. “Thank you. It's nice to meet you, too-” and she extended a hand, which Ei stared at for a brief moment before taking it and squeezing firmly.

“You must be tired from your journey. Would you like to come and rest for a while in my home?”

“Ah, w- well-” Furina turned and looked to Tetsuya, who waved a hand nonchalantly.

“Go on, if you wish.”

“Wait - please, hold on a second,” the girl implored, turning to the braided woman for a moment before taking her friend by the hand and rushing around the corner. “You have to come with me. You must!”

“I never agreed to visit anyone,” he frowned, eyes dark, and she grabbed his other hand, fear swimming in her expression.

“Please?? I- well, she's -”

“An archon, yes. And what of it?”

“I'm nervous, okay?”

“And you'd feel better if I was there?”

“Yes!”

Wanderer averted his gaze, conflict swimming in his eyes. Of all times…why did she have to be here, now?? He thought he would never see her again, and he had resigned himself to that fact, but now she was here and of course she didn't remember him, of course she didn't, and it had so many emotions running through him-

“.. please?” Furina almost whispered, and Tetsuya sighed, all the way from the pit of his soul.

“Fine. But don't expect me to be all buddy buddy.”

The girl's relief was palpable, and Wanderer let himself be pulled back to his mother, sullen. “We'll come!”

“Excellent,” Ei nodded - though she did not smile, her eyes seemed softer, and she turned on her heel, beginning to move. “Let's be on our way, then.” Turning her head, she looked to Wanderer, and Furina looked between the two, gears turning in her head now that the initial shock was over.

…wait a minute -

“I'm sorry, I did not address you earlier. I do not think that I know you, but I hope your stay here is pleasant.”

Wanderer averted his gaze, an unreadable emotion flickering in his eyes. “..no. You don't know me,” he replied, after a beat. Looking up, his eyebrows furrowed. “And I don't know you, either.”

“You are angry with me.”

“And the sky is blue. Anything else you wanna point out, Captain Obvious?” Tetsuya huffed, pushing past her roughly. “If you thought everyone would be worshiping at your feet after what's went down these past couple of years, think again. I'm only coming along because she begged me to. Let's get this over with.”

Ei and Furina exchanged glances, blinking twice, and then the older one sighed, looking weary. “..he seems quite troubled.”

“Yeah ..”

You don't know the half of it ..

“Despite not knowing him, I feel as if-” the woman shook her head then, cutting herself off. “No, never mind. It couldn't be. Come, Furina. Let's be going.” All the way, the shorter young lady looked between her two companions, an unspoken question in her eyes. The way these two carried themselves, their expressions, their mannerisms, they felt so…. similar. Wanderer had mentioned his mother before, though he hadn't told her much besides the fact that she had abandoned him when he was younger; but it didn't take much to put the two and two together.

..so then, why didn't Raiden recognize him??

The trio sat on couches, each one holding a cup of tea (in Wanderer's case, no sugar, while his mother and Furina added at least 3 cubes each); and Raiden began to make conversation. “Have you been faring alright after everything?” she asked the younger woman, and the girl hummed thoughtfully, looking to the floor.

“.. I'm…I'm getting there. As well as I can be, I guess."

“I understand. These things take time.”

“What would you know of human suffering?” Tetsuya countered, gaze resentful as he glowered above the rim of his cup. “How could you ever dream of wrapping your head around it after all-"

“Tetsuya,” Furina interrupted, and he closed his mouth into a thin, angry line. “It's alright.” Taking a breath, she went on. “..the prophecy was averted, but not without loss…it's.. difficult. To process, and to talk about. I'm sorry."

“I see. I am no stranger to loss, either. I've lost my friends, my sister…” Ei’s features marred with sorrow, and Furina nodded, sadly. “I wish I could tell you that it gets easier with time, but I find each loss to be a fresh wound within my soul. I'd say I've lost a creation, too,” and at that, Tetsuya gripped his cup so hard his knuckles turned white. This reaction did not escape Furina's gaze, and she looked to Raiden, suspicions rising. "But the scars ache less, over time.."

“You did..?”

“Long ago, yes. He was…very emotional, and I thought that he would not be able to bear the task I made him for. So I set him free. I felt as if- I at least owed him his own life. I didn't want him to be weighed down by that burden, or intervene wrongly in his fate.”

A dull but loud thunk sounded as a mug was almost slammed into the table.

“And what if the child wanted to stay?” Tetsuya suddenly butt in again before Furina could reply, head bowed so his face was not visible as both women turned to him. “What if it was not freedom for him? You- you set him free?? Don't make me laugh,” he scoffed, shoulders shaking with bitter chuckles. “You abandoned your child and left him alone in a world that he did not understand and yet you would fix your mouth to try and call it doing him a favor??? For all you know, he could be dead. He needed you, and you-”

Ei’s brow furrowed, and Furina could not help but notice how uncannily familiar it looked on her face- she had seen Tetsuya make the same expression thousands of times in confusion or frustration, or just plain anger.

“Your child needed you,” he repeated, trembling. “And you left him. What if he just wanted a mother. You couldn't even give him that. What if he-”

“You speak as if you know him,” Ei chimed in, and Furina was close enough to see a streak of pain fly across Tetsuya’s face as his chest heaved. Violet eyes fell to the Vision on Wanderer's chest, and suddenly, Raiden seemed to stop breathing. “...wait.”

“What,” Wanderer asked hollowly, voice cutting off when the goddess almost fell over herself to cross the room. “H- hey?”

“You,” she said, pointing to the golden feather on the casing of Tetsuya's Vision. “Where did- where did you get that. That's the emblem I gave to my-” A tense silence filled the air, and it was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop as things began to click. Ei blinked once, twice, three times, and then her pupils dilated so large they seemed to almost swallow up her irises. “...you don't - you don't know him, you- you are-”

“..your son,” Wanderer ventured, finally looking up, and as he did, tears splashed down his cheeks. “Yes. But you never saw me that way, did you?"

“You …needed me?”

“I did,” he whispered, finding the floor interesting. “But you were never there.”

“I'm so-”

“Stop,” he choked, shaking his head. “Don't - don't say you're sorry. It's hundreds of years too late for apologies. You can't - you can't fix anything,” and he stood up, scrubbing at his eyes furiously. “I hate you. And I always will,” Tetsuya finished, the markings on his bodysuit glowing as he beelined to the door and fled.

“Wait!!” Raiden called, outstretching a hand, and Furina stood, finding the strength to stand somehow.

“I'll - I'll go talk to him -”

“I'm coming with you,” Ei replied, in a tone that left no room for arguments, and the girl nodded, slowly. "We have to find him."

He wasn't not sure how long he flew for, just that everything was blurred and he could barely make heads or tails of anything around him. Eventually, Tetsuya came to a stop and clutched his chest, using his free hand to balance himself against a tree.

Hurts….

Though he didn't need to breathe, he found himself struggling to around his sobs anyway, little drops of water falling into the dirt and staining it. He hated this - hated feeling so vulnerable, so weak, so childish. “Stop that,” he chided himself, voice wobbly. “Stop crying, stop crying!” He didn't - need her, he'd been fine without her so why ..why???

…I don't hate her... I don't. I'm angry and I'm sad and confused but I -

“Why the hell is everything so confusing,” Tetsuya barely managed, putting a hand to his temple. His head hurt, and he grimaced in discomfort, dizzy. I. I need to sit down. . . Finding a pool of water, he sat by the riverbank, hugging his knees. “Why do I care so much,” he muttered, glowering into the horizon.

Just because she hurt you doesn't mean you can't miss her, Furina had told him some time ago, and he sighed, clutching his chest again. “.. I shouldn't. It would make things easier.”

Hours passed, and movement nearby startled him into alertness- when - when did the sun go down? Did he cry himself to sleep??? Why. .why was everything so warm???

“I found him!! He's over here,” Furina called, appearing through the underbrush, and Tetsuya stiffened as Raiden popped up not even a second later, eyes wide. Before he could speak, she bolted over, like lightning, and his eyes got wider and wider, looking fit to pop out of his head as she threw her arms around him and pulled him into her chest.

“..Ah - what -”

“I didn't know,” she was saying, tumbling over her words. “I wasn't aware, you saw me that way. I never - I never wanted to hurt you, I- but I did. I'm a warrior, not a mother. I don't know how to- I wouldn't have been-” Ei took a breath, shaky and shallow. “I am not asking for your forgiveness. But I want to tell you I'm sorry for the pain I unwittingly caused you. I can't fix it, or make it go away. But I'm sorry."

He'd often turned over situations like this playing out in his head, but now that it was actually happening, it felt unreal; and he felt hollow, anger draining away - at this point, he was just tired, and Tetsuya made no attempt to move, chest heaving. “Stop acting like you care,” he choked, hands trembling.

“I'm not,” she frowned, lifting his head so she would look at him. “I have many faults, but being a liar is not one of them.” He looked away sharply, tears threatening, and she brushed them away with her thumbs. “You don't have to forgive me, or trust me, or let me back in. But I need you to know that I - I didn't get rid of you because you were weak, or anything of that sort. I was afraid the world would hurt you, I was afraid you would crumble under the weight of everything -”

"And a lot of good that did,” he snapped, though there was much less venom behind it. “The world did hurt me, time and over again. And it all started with you, it all goes back to you, I -”

“You hate me.”

“No.”

“...No?”

“Yes?” Tetsuya went on, eyebrows knitting in distress. “I don't - I don't know, okay? I'm angry at you and I'm hurt you weren't around! But I - I also - I missed you, and I don't understand why. I don't - I don't need you,” he muttered. “I survived without you, but there's -” he clutched his chest then, tears flooding his eyes again. “It's like there's a hole, and no matter what I do, it won't go away,” and his shoulders shook. “And you did that to me. And then you - after what I said earlier, you still came to find me and - none of this makes any sense. .it would be so much easier to just hate you but I don't, and I hate this, I hate it so much,” he finished. A part of him wanted so badly to pull away, but another part wanted to be held and comforted, and that side was winning, to his chagrin.

Furina put a hand to his shoulder, and he looked to her before looking away, drained. After a moment, Ei frowned. “Tetsuya. You're burning up,” she noted, eyebrows furrowed with worry, and it was true; he was warm, much too warm. Tetsuya was never, ever warm- on the contrary, he almost always ran cool, hauntingly so. In response, he clutched his shirt so hard it wrinkled, chest heaving as he sobbed- and to both the others’ shock, his breaths came out in little visible puffs of air, though the night was warm. “What is the matter?”

“It hurts,” was all he could manage, eyes squeezing shut.

“Where? Where does it hurt? Just your chest?”

“I- I can't pinpoint a place,” Tetsuya replied, vexed. “It's just - it's everywhere. It's fine, I'll be alright -” and he wiggled out of her arms, attempting to stand. “Stop worrying.”

“If you're feverish, I don't think you should walk,” Furina worried, rushing over, and he weakly brushed her off. “Tetsuya, stop being stubborn and let us help-”

"Leave me alone," he growled, walking away. "I don't - I don't need-" And then he abruptly stopped talking, swaying where he stood before putting a hand to his temple. Tetsuya's eyelashes fluttered for just a moment, and then the next thing they knew, he was crumpling over, legs giving out.

"Tetsuya!!!"

Ei thankfully managed to catch the boy before he hit the ground, and he groaned in distress, clinging to her arm. "Mother-"

"I'm right here, I'm right here," she assured. "We- we can talk more later. Right now, we have to take care of you," and she scooped up the startled boy, Wanderer squawking in shock.

"What? Where are we -"

"Home," she stated, hurrying back to the estate. "Hold on."

(To be continued :) I'm thinking this will be a 2 partner, I didn't want this to be too long and figured this was a good stopping point.)

#genshin impact #wanderer #furina #ei #raiden shogun #canon be like we don't know if raiden and wanderer will ever meet again and i am like fine. i will do it myself!!#so this first part was like build up to the conflict and everything and i think next part will go into wanderer being taken care of #and explaining why raiden didn't remember him to furina #also trying to figure out a resolution #because one part of me wants them to reconcile so badly #but the other also knows that wanderer is very much aching and resentful and like. he's Not Ready. not yet.#but he's turning things in his head now that ei has told him straight up that hurting him was never her intention #he has to come to terms with the fact that she didn't think he was weak in a way that was shameful #she took pity on him because of it and wanted to protect him. now she did it in like. THE worst way; but she did have good intentions #and he's reeling with that.#im not sure where they'll go from here but they are going to talk more and clear the air.#usually things have to get worse before they get better so!! yeah.#i hope y'all also enjoyed furina figuring things out Extremely quickly #but she was also like naw there's no way and then tetsuya confirmed it AKSHSJS #i think it says a lot he still refers to her as his mother. he misses her a lot.#i hope i did okay characterizing ei btw #as well as wanderer #looking back on some of my other stuff i often worry that he's too soft so i tried making him a little pricklier this time #it feels a bit closer to canon but idk sjajsj lemme know how y'all feel about it #okay i go to write part ii now #oh yeah i am also throwing in my hc that when wanderer gets especially overwhelmed emotionally he starts overheating #like after you beat him in shouki no kami if you watch closely while he's like. huffing and puffing literal steam comes out of his mouth.#he was LIVID #and if it gets too bad he gets fever-like symptoms and has to recuperate #like i don't think he catches illnesses like people do but he can feel pain. he feels it very deeply actually.

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theinfinitedivides · 1 year

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rewatching KHNH snippets on YouTube bc once again i have a growing list of films i cannot get over and i,,,,,,, i just realized that Aman may or may not have made a d*ck joke??? in front of Kantaben??? the first time they met??? and i am sitting here trying not to scream bc look at this f*cker (affectionate)

#film: kal ho naa ho #kal ho naa ho #khnh #srk #shah rukh khan #bollywood #local gay watches Bollywood.txt #no but think about it for a sec #Kantaben comes in and loses almost every braincell she had functioning up to that point after seeing the Gay ™#mostly Aman being the most bisexual little sh*t in existence and causing the Gay ™ but still #she asks Rohit what she's supposed to serve the guest after informing him that his breakfast is ready #and Aman says he'll have a banana??? a f*cking banana???#which we all know look like d*cks if you're trying to have a head in the gutter moment???#last Kantaben braincell rip bc you can see her go into full body shock after that #and Aman's smile is such a sh*t-eating grin you cannot f*cking tell me he didn't mean it #i have to laugh bc if i don't i'll start thinking about what they did to him and then i'll start crying again #will also most likely be pressured into a rewatch before the scheduled one

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soft-serve-soymilk · 25 days

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Gaslighting? In MY household? It’s more likely than you think

#sad pav hours #<- ‘tis my new vent tag. filter as needed #just pav things #I have experienced so many levels of Confusion today #I mean most of it just boils down to my dad being a dick for no good reason #what do I even do to him????? I yet again ask him this and he’s like #‘I live with you’. My mere existence causes him misery apparently #He says that I’m unlikeable. I say that people generally enjoy my whimsical disposition or just don’t care and ignore me #or in the case of [redacted] try to pacify me in neurotypical ways that only ended up hurting when I found out #instead of communicating that she didn’t want to be friends. Actually that was what my first vent post on here in 2021 was about #and very ironically it was the reason me and Dolphin became friends (random skribbl game my beloved ^^)#But I digress #Also I’ve already accounted for the fact of my future bosses probably disliking me and some people out there just by virtue of being human #but i’d like to believe I’m generally likeable??? I have so much evidence to prove this that the put-down just ends up confusing #Also the amount of name-calling is insane once you stop filtering it out #I can just casually be called stupid. again without any reason #and then people wonder why I have such low self-esteem sometimes #I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m the family scapegoat. I live with 3 blood relatives who hate me.#Also ffs I’M NOT A FREELOADER!!!! STOP sAYING THAT #I understand the real world will be brutal I see the real effects of the cost-of-living crisis every day #I’m prepared to live frugally to survive so stop saying i will be shook 😭 i’m fuckign ready to leave as soon as I have enough savings #and a place to stay. I’m done here. Except for the dogs I will always love and miss them 😭😭😭

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todayisafridaynight · 1 year

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Kiryu's trying so hard to be a good dad for all of his kids while Kazama very clearly only favored Kiryu. Do I think this was an intentional writing decision? Probably not but it's interesting

intentional or not, its a good perspective and helps explain why kiryu Is Like That. especially if we want to look at the case of nishiki who was given too much power before he was ready to handle it (and around the same age as daigo too if not a little younger), kiryu wants to make sure daigo doesnt similarly crumble under that pressure that nishiki did. we know nishiki's death haunts him for at least five games after the fact- it's no wonder he's so hyperfocused on making sure it doesn't happen again

the problem lies in that, just like kazama to nishiki, kiryu was the reason why daigo got that much power in such a short amount of time anyway. we know he acknowledges this, which is probably why he tries so hard for the tojo despite wanting to distance himself from the yakuza world. kazama did the bare minimum- if anything- for nishiki. and while we know kiryu respected kazama immensely, i want to hope over the years he's realized that leaving a young man in a powerful position unprepared isn't a good idea, esp after mine rubbed salt in the wound and called him out for abandoning the tojo- ergo daigo, so now he especially feels like he has to make it up to him.

if he couldn't help nishiki, then the next best thing he can do is help someone he considers his son- as if trying to right the wrong kazama did and be a better father, whether he can admit or not to kazama failing to take care of nishiki

but the follow up problem to THAT is he's neglecting his other kids when he does go to help. it wouldnt be a problem if RGG remembered the ryudo family and they could watch the kids while he's gone or something, but since they don't we just have to assume haruka's unfortunately been left to act as big sister to all these kids, and THAT has undoubtedly bred a great burden of feeling responsible when she's only a kid. it's really unfortunate that while kiryu apologizes to daigo repeatedly, he never apologizes to haruka for leaving her alone and in charge so many times (i actually thought kiryu's letter in Y6 was supposed to go to haruka at first). it's made her feel as though she has to take care of everyone and she has to be the strong one for the family when kiryu's away, and because of that we get problems like Y5 and Y6

in all of this, and in a terrible twist of irony, in trying to prevent one of his loved ones from enduring a similar fate as nishiki, he's now jeopardizing his relationship with his other kids- he's now unintentionally putting haruka on the back burner because he's so traumatized over what happened to his brother. he might have prevented another nishiki situation, but haruka had to be collateral as a result

#snap chats #of couse it wasnt just kazama giving power to nishiki that was the problem he was obvi dealing with his sister too #but we get what im saying right #honestly i hadnt even considered all of this until you pointed it out anon and im really glad you did #it really helped shine a light and explain things to me #again i dont think kiryus doing these things with bad faith- hes doing it for the exact opposite actually #he's just so wrapped up on preventing the past from happening again he's not focused on everything else around him #like poor haruka i feel so bad for her but i also cant hate kiryu because i know hes trying #again its a complicated situation no one's 'evil' here- irresponsible and neglectful sure #but it's not like kiryu's happy to punt haruka to the side to catch a flight to tokyo #like again kiryu please daigo's a grown man he's gona fumble the bag a bit but please trust him #i know after Y4 it's hard to do that but trust him #honestly he seemed to be alright until majima 'died' in Y5 THEN he felt like he actually had to do something #oughhh kiryu i love you.. i love how messy you are #but haruka makes me so sad she reminds me of my brother sometimes #love how Y4 and Y6 is like. Hi Kiryu You Ready To Suffer The Consequences Of Your Actions #but yeah theres my monthly Kiryu Is A Dad ramble of the month thanks for indulging me

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