#shout-out to bsd for changing my life | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yawarakaizai · 7 months

Note

pmzai with an equally miserable s/o fem reader

ⵌ IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT

SENDER Reader (Fem) RECIPITENT PM Dazai Osamu (BSD) CONTENTS You sit and stare and wait for him to return to you. You've been bad and you've been good. There's nothing and no one that gives you purpose like he. NOTE reader+dazai are 17/18, implications of s/h, slight misogyny, death of parent, it's kind of angsty.. , soft couple, miserable couple, sui/cide mention+ideation COMPANY I'm Not Human At All

A/N ʚ₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ɞ th is wa s har d to make b ecause i h ad sOOO OO m any ide as an d my playli st wa s feelin g good an d kept pla y ing song s th at g ave me diff fic ide as ;; th is is sad ,,, i do nt like sa d fics bu t ,,, this is kin d of a ven t? hehe FEE L FREE TO REQ UEST MOR E!

Your tender heart would care for an injured bunny rescued from a bear trap.

You'd nurse the animal as best you could yet it would always die.

Your father was a hunter. He earned your living costs by selling animal hide and what meat he'd have spare after covering what you'll need. Your mother died when you were a little girl.

You were as sweet as your mother.

Your father would tell stories of how She would gaze out on the winter sky and say to Herself, "My daughter will be as snow. Gentle and graceful, yet freezing to those who demand more of what perfect she is already."

When your Mother died, they put Her in a box full of pink carnations and orchids. Surely to counteract the smell of Her decaying corpse, to display Her flesh as something beautiful before her descent under soil to where Her bones will return and fertilise what surrounds.

Rural life in Japan was not for the weak. Which you were.

You picked up what your Mother left behind.

Tending to the chickens in their coops and shearing the sheep, you'd milk the cows and free the rabbits when Father wasn't looking.

Your hands plush with baby fat would clench around your rosary every night and pray like a good girl.

By the time you reached puberty, your features resembled your Mother more than ever before. Your figure changed and as did your father.

He'd sneer at the dress that fit you perfectly just two years ago. You'd become defiant and bold, a rebellious child.

" Father, but why? "

Your protests and argumentative nature would anger him. And now, you weren't a good girl.

Shouting battles always left you sobbing into thick pillows until your throat hurt.

It was at the age of fifteen did you find out what lies beneath your thin flesh and blue pulse.

You are made of bright crimson and spite.

At sixteen, you ran away.

It was impulsive. You forgot how and what happened. You don't want to remember.

Your calves ached and your feet blistered with pain from trudging up and down hills and farms.

You are a mixture of love and loss.

Everything is a blur, and sometimes you question whether running away was the wisest thing to do.

You had collapsed the moment you stepped foot into the city.

A sad, lost soul who ran away from her father.

You had been a..

" Very bad girl. "

The voice startled you enough for you to spill the batter all over your clean white apron.

" Osamu! " You cried out in disbelief, the boy laughing hysterically. " That isn't funny, knock it off. "

In a way, Dazai reminded you of those bunnies you'd rescue in your youth. He was caught and wounded by the claws of Life. And although you may cup his cheeks into your hands and tell him 'You're alive', he had already died before you were able to cradle him to your chest.

" I told you not to wake up early, Y/N! I should have known to not mention my fondness of crêpes to you. "

You felt untamed, wild hair brush against the bare of your neck before soft lips made contact with your jawline. A soft kiss pressing into what was cold. He was grateful to have you in his sad miserable life.

And even if you two were not perfect for each other, you'd both die to watch the world burn.

" I did it on my own accord. " You lied. " You did not. " He calls your bluff like air. You huff in surrender.

Setting down the metal bowl of paste, you turn to face him. You think of the horrors that his empty, black eye must have seen. His other eye, obscured by bandages, was a mystery to you. You respected him enough to not budge him about it.

" I wished to make you something special. "

You confess, certain he already knew your intention. Your boyfriend was simply smarter than many.

" I don't need anything. Coming home to you is enough, bella. '' His hand stretches to you like death.

Your eyes were not as bright as they were when you were little. They reflected the bad girl that you've become. The one that left her sickly impoverished father in treacherous conditions alone because her feelings were hurt.

" Belladonna. "

He'd pull you back into reality when he'd notice you slipping.

" 'samu. You've barely been coming home anymore, okay? Let me do this, just this once for you. " You snaked your arms around his waist and he mirrored your action, twirling you both out of the kitchen.

Dazai was inexplicable to you. He was a man your father wouldn't like. A man your Mother would hate. A man your younger self would despise.

You willingly moved into a shared apartment with the mafia executive after a few months of living in Yokohama. It was him to have picked you up from the streets. Sensing you were worth more than the muddied appearance you showed at that time.

Your one-time use turned into a second-time use, and your second-time use blossomed like a flower in Spring. You interested him.

You both intoxicated each other. Dazai was able to make you feel light. You felt weightless and as fragile as a butterfly. Weak, small and at his mercy.

" Then don't hide yourself away from the kitchen when I'm right here, love. "

By the time your spinning head focused on what was around you again, he had toppled you both onto the living room couch. He loomed over you, fully dressed in his mafia uniform, his stupid tie obscuring your vision until he tucked it between the buttons of his revere blouse.

" What would you do if I were to die? "

" Osamu. Stop that. "

You muttered.

You feel his life. The warmth of his body, the tender flow of blood heating his body as his finger traced patterns into your cheek. Your heart keeps beating.

" Answer me, Y/N. "

You didn't enjoy thinking of your partners demise. You wouldn't mind if you were to die.

The problem was, you didn't want to be alive for your boyfriends funeral, yet you didn't wish for your boyfriend to be alive for yours.

You loved each other to the point it became hate. Hate for how the other made living seem worth it.

Dazai had an eventful life. You did not.

You had no education whatsoever. According to the government, you did not exist. You had no birth certificate. You were no one. You lived hidden in this cramped apartment.

When Dazai was away, it was only you and your thoughts. Your thoughts were a dangerous thing.

" I think I would kill myself too. "

Your voice caught up on an unexpected crack. You were puzzled until your vision became glassy.

" Pretty baby. I'm sorry. " His apology was belated as you'd already begun to sniffle, he lowered his weight on you, turning to lay on his side as he pulled you in close, coaxing you into silence.

" Don't die, 'samu. Not here, not now. " Your sad little beg mused him.

Dazai was all you had left. You were most certain that if you were to part, you would die.

With Dazai, you were still inadequate. Without Dazai, you truly were nothing but a walking corpse.

He thinks that you are something weak and soft, with a fire raging in you that cried to be extinguished before it could spread.

You hush yourself to enjoy the feeling surrounding you. You feel Dazai's ribcage rise with each steady breath he takes. The beating of a heart is somewhere far deep in, and yours is jumping in your throat.

" Not now. " He repeated after you, and part of you wished to believe it.

There was something mystical about Osamu.

Something that warned you to not feed coal to the flame.

And that if you reached your hand in, you'd burn yourself on what was forbidden.

©yawarakaizai 2023 ﹒﹒ reblogs appreciated! requests open :3

#dazai x reader #pmzai #pm dazai x reader #bsd x reader #port mafia dazai x reader

229 notes · View notes

no-brain-just-akutagawa · 10 months

Note

heya i'm getting into bsd again and realized that you're the only bsd blog i follow 😭 would it be possible for you to recommend some good blogs? i assume you'd know a few, but sorry if this comes off as pushy or weird

Hiii! Thank you for the ask, I’m genuinely sorry for taking like a million years to answer it. It’s a really awesome ask, so don’t worry, it wasn’t pushy or weird! I know it may have seem as though I didn’t like it since it took me good 2 months to get to it, but I really appreciate it and I was simply busy with real life stuff. Feel free to always ask me about cool blogs to follow, I’m more than happy to give my mutuals and other creators a shout out!

I listed some of my personal favourite blogs alphabetically to make it a bit more organized haha

For the tagged creators: I provided little descriptions for some of the creators listed here, but if I accidentally messed something up, just let me know and I’ll change it. Also don’t worry if you’re on the list without a description, it just means I didn’t know how to put my appreciation into words.

@akutagawah – edits

@awkwardbsd – general bsd posting

@bapplebeess – fanart

@bemysillygoose – fanart

@canetteto – fanart

@carrotkicks – fanart. Has an analog horror series and different storylines, so if you’re interested in exploring different stories through fanart, this is your person

@choccatto – fanart

@creantzy – fanart. The creator of a really cool fan comic called The Path to Freedom and the Bernadette 2023 animatic (as a member of the fyolai nation, I absolutely adore their content)

@credensjustitiam – fanart

@dailynakaharachuuya – fanart

@dazaistabletop – general bsd posting

@deadmitochondria – memes. The only inactive blog on this list, but it’s worth it

@death-in-a-handbasket – fanart

@destructive-delight – fanart. If you like angst and horror vibes, you’ll absolutely LOVE it here

@dsskkrt-jpeg – fanart. The creator of the Nowhere to Run animatic (and overall a fyolai icon)

@emilylovescookies – fanart

@featherphoenixart – fanart

@flower-of-darkness – THE analysis queen

@fyodors-fancy-teacup – fanart

@greendy2l – fanart

@hant-huyant – fanart (though not really active on tumblr I think)

@hoshiumiumi – fanart

@imsofrancey – fanart

@inkantigen – fanart

@itotypes – fanart and fics. The creator of Mors Omni Vincit on ao3 (the pirate!au)

@iwritenarrativesandstuff – analyses

@kaus-quietis – my jojo sis. She did an incredible analysis of Fedya that’s a must read!!! She used to post fanart, but is now focusing on her studies (let’s gooooo)

@koiblossom5 – hilarious incorrect quotes.

@kokoasci – fanart

@kyouka-supremacy – general bsd posting. The president of sskk nation (not officially, but c’mon she deserves this title)

@marshukitty – fanart

@miammey – fanart and fics on ao3. One of the only people I’ve seen who does art of the Hunting Dogs, so if you’re interested in THD, Miam is a must follow

@mochimochips – fanart. One of the only artists who consistently make fanarts of Verlaine and Rimbaud (and that’s very rare in the fandom!)

@mr-vanhellis – fanart

@nnakahara – moodboards. Our favourite historian ♡

@nixnephilii – fanart. The creator of Fyo!Atsushi au, which nevel fails to make me gasp, because it’s incredible

@originalartblog – fanart. The creator of Goosamu (who is Dazai as a goose and is VERY dear to my heart), and a few other AUs

@phonyrams – fanart

@platykool – fanart. Some of my absolute favourite fanarts of Sigma! (and doa and bsd overall, but I really wanted to highlight Sigma)

@pleucas – fanart

@pompompurin1028 – fics. Some of the best, most in-character fics I’ve ever read. If you like Dazai, you’ll ADORE her fics.

@popopretty – an absolute MVP of this fandom. Translations, summaries and trivia

@rampopurin – analysis and general bsd posting. The science side of bsd fandom (if you wanna learn about space and science through bsd go follow!)

@rinqueraa – fanart

@sandyy-boo – fanart

@sensitiveheartless – fanart and fics. So many awesome AUs and comics (they’re listed in Senhart’s pinned post, so they’re really easy to find)

@slothfail – fanart

@tatooou-art – fanart

@tecchous-thicc-buttocks – incorrect quotes

@tunamayuuu – fanarts. The creator of kny!au

uwu-m1lk – fanart

wrenkos – fanart

PS. if any of you guys want to add more creators to the list, feel free to do so in the reblogs!

#asks #you have no idea how honoured I feel to be the one to introduce other bsd creators to lovely anons

261 notes · View notes

kentopedia · 2 months

Note

You've got such a big following and you're such an amazing blog! But I was wondering...so you have any shout outs to some smaller blogs in the JJK fandom?

hi there!! hmm honestly a lot of the jjk blogs i’ve followed have switched fandoms and don’t post much jjk anymore :) i’ve taken a step back from jjk myself, so i’ll try my best to compile a list! ones that i think are underrated that post some jjk:

@anqelically - has some fics about yuuta and has a multipart series as well!! <3 i need to catch up on some of them, and if your into bsd, check out her bsd work also :) she’s amazing !!!!

@kentophilia - is the sweetest ever !!! their theme is so cool and another blog to follow if you’re a kento fan tehe!! they just wrote a kusakabe fic i fear might change my life (i do not know him like that but) <3

@sutorus - is such a stunning writer!! her toji fics are so yummy, and she is the sweetest!! all the love in the world to her, i binged all her work tehe

@forest-hashira - i recommended fallon on my other series posts but ik they post a lot of jjk :) the two fics they wrote for my event are so amazing, pls pls check both of them out

@itsfairly - has some nanami fics and some of the sweetest headcanons of him <33 another good person to follow if you love nanami!

@satocidal - eek i love all of rome’s smut, i think about the clan leader gojo fics frequently :,) she is the loveliest too

@todorokies - knives has some amazing jjk fics, i love their characterization of geto!!! she also wrote a fic for my collab you should check out & i remember one of choso called death & the maiden that is so good <3

@staryukis - i also recommended logan on my other post but you should check out all her fics about gojo !! i absolutely love their characterization of him, im a bit picky bc he’s so complex tehe

@elusivemoon - omg io’s writing is all like poetry, i cant get enough of it. i think she’s taking a step back from jjk too, but she has quite a few fics about satoru & kento !!! love her loads :)

@starsinmylatte - the sweetest!!! sob i still haven’t read the fic posted for my collab but i’m so excited to bc it the concept is insane. i love longer fics so you should def check out her blog bc they are a bit longer and very well written <3

@delirious-donna - is writing a best friends brother nanami series that is soo so good!! very rom com kind of vibes so i love it tehe.

hm these are the people i can think of at the moment!! i honestly follow a lot more bsd blogs these days nonnie :( but everyone on this list deserves a lot of love 🤍

#໒꒱ rylie's angels

44 notes · View notes

moonrisenmuses · 6 months

Text

POSITIVITY DUMP

@longerhuman I’m going to be totally honest, Nine, you’re one of the reasons I decided to reboot my Chuuya blog to begin with. I stumbled on you completely by accident in the recommended tag while in another fandom and as soon as I read your writing I was like ‘holy shit this is so good’ and ‘fuck I miss BSD so god damn much right now’. You’re insanely talented, I love paragraph dumping my thoughts about our boys on you at all hours, and we have more in common than I expected. Shout out to your incredible, well thought out portrayal of Dazai ( and Verlaine! ) and don’t ever let anyone make you feel bad for being a ‘slow’ writer okay? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, your replies are worth waiting for! Together we’ll properly spread the big brother Oda / little brother Dazai truther propaganda! Reading replies from your Dazai is always a treat because it feels like reading bonus chapters about his thoughts and feelings Asagiri won’t explicitly give us lol. The way you read and understand his character blows me away constantly and I’m always excited to see you on the dash even when it’s with someone else because I adore your portrayal! I also admire the way you handle your blog and how you know what you are and aren’t okay with. You’ve really helped me in terms of setting boundaries and feeling more confident in enforcing my blog rules for my own mental wellness so thank you for that too. Plus. Relatable ND memes, I love sharing those with you lol.

@mckiingbiird ASPIE! What can I say about you? I’ve probably known you the longest out of anyone on here! Has it really been over 2 years since we first started talking? Time sure does fly. I could rave about you for ages. For starters, you’re one of the first people I’ve met to put as much if not even MORE love into their OCs than they do into their canon muses. You have so much love for your characters and it really shows, they’re so interesting and well rounded, it feels like if you just changed their names and took out the BSD stuff you could write your own novels just about them and their journeys, that’s how good they are. I love them immensely - Lemony and the kids, Harper, Murasaki, Maurice, and now James too. I always have a great time no matter who I’m writing with, and you’ve always been sweet, friendly and caring in all the time I’ve known you, to the point where I easily consider you one of my best friends in the writing community, even if most of our writing and development has occurred on Discord lol. Now with us bringing the Flags into it, I feel like there’s even more adventure to be had with them all. I want to give a special shout-out to you for a fantastic portrayal of a trans ftm character living his best life because we really don’t see enough of them and it’s obvious how much thought, love and research went into him when you first created him.

@nonhumen Oriiiiii! I know we only just met near the beginning of this year but it honestly feels like I’ve known you way longer than that. You’re such a phenomenal writer and I can’t recommend enough that people follow you for a well rounded, amazingly developed portrayal of Dazai and all of his virtues and flaws. For someone relatively new to the franchise you’ve done an incredible job at understanding the nuances of his character. I’ve really enjoyed deep diving into his and Chuuya’s mental health from childhood all the way to adulthood with you and why they are the way they are. Their relationship is SO important to me, and the way we’ve developed them together in our jokingly titled cinematic universe, SKK edition, is an endless source of entertainment and inspiration for me. I love their Kintsugi verse and the handful of spin-off verses we’ve created from them. I have to constantly update their verse info page and even then I feel like I can’t accurate describe all the trials and tribulations they’ve gone through. Maybe one day we can collaborate on an epic fanfic saga about their adventures together LOL.

Honourable mentions are a huge must for a few other people who while I don’t talk to them as much OOC, their portrayals continue to provide me constant joy and entertainment! Chuuya has grown SO much from his interactions with your Dazai and even Verlaine and it means so much to me that he gets his happy ending finally in their AU.

@theircurse Stellaaaa! You and I both know Yumeno doesn’t get nearly as much love and attention as they deserve. If it wasn’t for Mayoi I would feel like the franchise forgot they existed, but YOU HAVEN’T. You’re one of the fandom OGs and while we don’t talk a lot, I have to mention your portrayal of Yumeno and how heartwrenchingly good it is. Some of my characters aren’t even a fan of children but even they feel the urge to wrap little Yumeno up in a very soft blanket and protect them from the world. Perhaps most surprisingly is Ara. Maybe it’s because he high key relates to being mistreated by family or because he thinks their doll and their macabre behaviour is so interesting and similar to his own weirdness, but he kinda wants to pick them up and just carry them around in his pocket. In a good way! He’s still coming to terms with the fact humans aren’t just animals or like… Tamagotchis but larger with more needs, but he’s getting there! Chuuya just straight up wants to adopt them. Please continue giving Yumeno the attention they deserve while we hold out hope Asagiri will one day dust them off again!

@giftandguile Lua! My first impression of you was adoring your portrayal of Chuuya because you have his sassy attitude and whiplash temper down to a T and that’s not easy, I know I struggle with it! I also love seeing how you write Tetcho because it’s always so very entertaining. BUT, most of all I want to mention your Fyodor. I have always had very mixed feelings about Fyodor! I’m still making my way through the manga again and I haven’t had much time to dig into his IRL self’s books, but your writing certainly has made me want to. Where the anime failed to get me interested in his character at all, you succeeded. He’s so interesting! I always get excited seeing your meta posts on Fyo because I end up either shocked by how brilliant it is or agreeing wholeheartedly. You got me so invested in a character I was initially indifferent to and that’s not easy for me, my ADHD brain is big on first impressions. I’m SO excited to see where things go between her and Ara and the chaos they’re going to cause in Japan post resurrection. I think Ara sees something of a kindred spirit in her, that they were both ‘born cursed’ and wound up exiled in a sense for things that weren’t even their fault, and as a result developed a negative view of others of their kind. I’m super pumped to see where that ends up going!

@moonhund AEVIS. This post wouldn’t be complete without a shoutout to Ara’s brawling, drinking, temperamental shapeshifting new bestie Jono, or honorary dad-mentor Fukuzawa. There’s honestly so much to say but! I love the fact that an internationally wanted assassin was able to just show up on Fukuzawa’s doorstep one day with baby teen Chuuya like ‘look I don’t trust you but I need somewhere to leave this kid for a while and I don’t fucking trust Mori, can you give him a home for a while?’ And Fuku just looked at this scared and angry lil ginger and was like ayo kids, you got a baby brother now, no questions asked. He’s such a good dude. Sometimes family is one ex swordsman and his adopted wayward detectives / experiments / former war weapons. Absolute icon. But ALSO! The shenanigans between Jono and Ara are basically the definition of serotonin at this point for me. Half their interactions feel like crack threads but it’s just How They Are. I love the depth you’ve added to Jono’s character and how you can write him as both an asshole but sympathetic in a way that feels genuine, not forced. Highly recommend anybody who needs good HD muse interactions follow you because your writing for him is S tier.

I know I’ve gotten to be a somewhat slow writer these days, at least on Tumblr because formatting can be kind of a bitch on here, but I hope everybody knows I’m thinking of you and I adore my interactions with each and every one of you. Please take care of yourselves and know you’re loved and appreciated and SO TALENTED, because this RPC would be a worse off place if any of you were no longer in it.

Love always, Luna <3

#positivity #{ ooc }#just felt like with winter on the horizon and how common it is to get the blues in colder months this was something I wanted to do #to remind myself I have people on here I adore and that there are reasons to keep writing and smiling even when I get down

10 notes · View notes

kaus-fangirlis · 2 years

Note

I saw your tags and I'm straight up screaming because 1. You realize ss/kk isn't that well-founded! thank you for saying that! and 2. YOU KNOW PANDORA HEARTS AND JACK VESSALIUS, FUCKED UP LOVE OF MY LIFE. Thank you for your existence this makes me so happy I wanna hug you and squish your cheeks.

First of all, thank you for sending a non-BSD fandom-related ask to my sideblog, it helps me keep my main blog @kaus-quietis clean and somewhat organized <3 Second of all, I’ll have you know that HOW COULD I NOT?? Pandora Hearts is my fav manga I’ve read in my teen years!!

I’ll leave more under the cut, not to flood the dash too much <3

By "fav manga of my teen years” I mean, I kinda split my “fandom activity” into “teen years” (whatever that mess was – 19) and “young adulthood years” (20 – present), because I noticed significant changes in my tastes are they crystalized and as I got to know myself better too. This is why I say PH is my fav manga of my teen years, and currently BSD is a competitor for “fav manga of my young adulthood”, together with Tokyo Ghoul. We’ll see! I also created those categories because I realized huge changes in the way I choose my favs (previously it was more like they “chose” me, somehow, randomly / with no apparent rule – this applies to Oz, Vanitas from Kingdom Hearts, Eren from Attack on Titan, Naruto from the Naruto series etc. – , but now I know my stuff and my personality and all, so my choices are very well-grounded and conscious. Or sometimes fate takes your hand and makes you write an essay about who will end up being your fav, dethroning Dazai forever). This is why, surprisingly, Oz is my favourite character from PH, followed by Xerxes Break, but if I would have read PH now, I’m sure, absolutely sure, Break would have been my fav. Either way, the immense amount of tears I shed for Break were foreshadowing that, in a different timeline, he would have been indeed my fav...

My experience with PH was that of reading it month by month, chapter after chapter, with the fandom weeping and shouting and theorizing with no end and there was sooooo much to analyze and so many symbols everywhere. And I cried so much, oh gosh, not to even mention when the entire Eliott arc happened, THOSE MONTHS KJFGNKFD. That manga is a gem, especially in later volumes when the artstyle just BLOOMS, and I watched it bloom before my eyes as years passed. I cannot even describe for how many days I cried nonstop when the manga ended. I was there when we first saw Vanitas waving at Oz, as Oz was leaving... Still, when MochiJun went on with Vanitas no Carte, be it for burn-out or other media, I never caught up with the VnC manga and currently struggle to get into the anime. We’ll see how that goes. It’s very different from the PH feel to me.

Sel, you should check out all the PH stuff I reblogged on this sideblog lol. It’s under my #ph tag. But since this blog was created only in 2017, the majority of my PH fandom activity was on other websites or my long-dead accounts till then, so there are not a lot of posts, ironically. I realize there is a lot of................... Break content because of this distance in time (2017 onwards, because I was already........ 21 or so........................... that means.......... yeah the foreshadowing that he would have been my fav was already materializing gkdfsngf)

#Lav answers #Sel #pandora hearts discussion time yesss #my fav manga forever #I wonder if I'll feel as strongly for BSD as I feel for PH <3 #we will see after the series ends... that determines everything

8 notes · View notes

yangthecatto · 2 years

Text

I just finished BSD last week and this whole week I'm just scrolling through information about this and then. All I can say is Chuuya and Akutagawa stole my heart 💗 My gallery is full of them now I— I've had enough of myself for doing this. And yes I love Soukoku and Shinsoukoku of course like wth how am I supposed to ignore that. The love and hate relationships huhuuu, Akutagawa always threatening Jinko to kill him and also doing his best when working with him— my heart might just explode. Also Chuuya always saying he hates Dazai and always wanting to kill him but when someone hurts Dazai he's just like there and shouts his name worried oh my. And dead apple I— I really thought it was only a 1 ep like 24 mins like that, so I watched the whole movie thinking that it's only 24mins because I enjoy it sm LOL. Fav scene is when Chuuya uses his corruption to save Dazai and also trusting Dazai to save him, man I can't anymore with this two. And that scene where Chuuya can't move I'm wheezing what are you doing Dazaii, move it's my turn now. Just kidding LOL he can take Chuuya if he save him like— man ;(

- Spoiler if anyone reading this and don't want to be spoiled in manga -

Chuuya won't die right?!13?2! Like he's literally a GOD and he already experience harder challenges beside drowning, Chuuya don't let the water kill you pls my my I'm going to sob AAAAA. Okay I'm going to finish my research project if Chuuya is alive just kidding. But pls Chuuya, Dazai might have some plan to save him like I know he also cares for Chuuya despite of teasing him always pls pls pls. I'm not going to get mad at Dazai since Chuuya drowning is Fyodor's fault, if he didn't turn Chuuya into a vampire, that's not going to happen to him. But I am still wondering how Chuuya turn into a vampire like, he can avoid getting bitten with his ability? Who bit him? Who the heck bit him?! I really really really hope Chuuya will be able to get out of that room, I really feel bad when I saw his vampire face because he looks so exhausted ;(( Chuuya's a good boy why would they do that (个_个)

And for Akutagawa, the way he died man. And his line man, I hope he'll be resurrected or such, because if he died, what will happen to shinsoukoku, Dazai build that up y'knooww. He always threatens Atsushi, kill him or what but also ended up sacrificing himself to the tiger (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ And they're just so cute together but I am talking about the way he ended up slashed in his neck ;(( If anyone be hating Akutagawa— he spends his entire years to be acknowledge by Dazai because he has a lung disease so his time is running short, despite his efforts, he found Dazai already had Atsushi. That just hurts I really understand his position so much, as well for Atsushi. When Atsushi thinks he's not good enough or such, I really wanted to hug him, both of them needs a hug mannn. I really hope, pls let Akutagawa be resurrected uhhh that will change my view on life huhuu. Also the PM, Higuchi, the old man and Gin are already bitten. Tachihara got stabbed and slashed in his eyes, what is happening oh myyy. When I think of reading the manga, I was like "this one will make me comfortable at least" but noooo, I'm typing this now because it's a no no no. I hope they will get over this soon huhuu.

And about them in BSD wan, that is my comfort zone since I can avoid angst there LOL. My favorite part is when Akutagawa is sick and he called Atsushi in his full name instead of Jinko uuuu that's just so cute. And the way Atsushi observes Akutagawa if he'll keep his promise and there's a sign "beware of stalkers" LMAO. Akutagawa really is the man of his words huh I love that sm.

I just can't express how I love them sm rn I'm going to cry they're just too precious to exist. I really love how Chuuya helps other people and being probably the normal one in PM, in Hot spring cd everyone is having their own thoughts and Chuuya was like taking care each of them. He's such a good boy inside huhuuu that's enough talk for today, I'm having a breakdown and thankfully I manage to type this long I love them sm

4 notes · View notes

what-about-the-stray-cats · 4 months

Text

Morality and Immorality: The story of a black dragon

Akutagawa Ryunosuke is no doubt my favorite character from the series and I cannot help but sympathize with him. Hell, I even see a bit of myself in him. His backstory is one of the most interesting to me. I’ll be following the same naming logic as I did with Atsushi. The character I will refer to as Ryunosuke, and the real life author I will refer to as Akutagawa.

Akutagawa is often referred to as the father of short stories. Ryunosuke is based on two of his most famous works; 羅生門/Rashomon and 蜘蛛の糸/The Spider’s Thread, both of which tackle morality as a topic. In Rashomon, an ex-servant of a samurai is left with 2 choices: either starve to death or steal (note that this is directly parallel to Atsushi, who in the BSD-storyline starts off with the same dilemma!). Arriving in front of the Rajomon gate, he decides to climb up the staircase. At the top of the stairs he sees an old woman. Upon taking a closer look, he notices that the woman is carefully plucking the hair strands of a female corpse. The protagonist, absolutely repulsed by this action, shouts at the old woman. He tells her that she is committing “an unpardonable crime”, forgetting the fact that just a moment ago he himself was contemplating thievery. The old hag justifies her actions by explaining how the dead woman used to scam people; she sold snake meat and passed it off as dried fish to unsuspecting soldiers. Anyhow, the elder empathizes with this deception, for it was done out of necessity. After all, does simply wanting to live not justify the wrongdoings? While listening to this, the servant finds the solution to his problem that he was facing earlier. He concludes that it is alright for him to steal if it is necessary for his survival. If the old woman can, why can’t he? He applies the same logic the hag uses to his situation and the story ends with him stealing her kimono. The old woman is left all alone, staring into the abyss, signifying that one cannot find fulfillment in life by stealing. It is only a downward spiral.

Ryunosuke follows the same logic as the servant and the old woman. As a member of the Port Mafia, and the designated “mad dog” of the organization, his job is to kill all who get in the way of the mafia. Still, he doesn’t kill because he enjoys the act. Neither does he laugh maniacally while doing it, unlike some of his colleagues (mainly Motojiro Kajii). Of course, this is all due to his upbringing in the slums and the teachings of Osamu, the latter of which manipulated him and warped his worldviews completely. Growing up in the slums, a very hostile environment where survival solely depends on your luck, it was made clear to him that human life was not valued. He sees no value in life, because life itself sees no value in him. Throughout his childhood he has been treated as disposable, worthless, of no use. Osamu, after taking Ryunosuke under his wing, did nothing to change this view on life (mostly due to the fact that he shared the same opinion as his subordinate). Essentially, he views all life as equally worthless and that is why he can kill. What is the difference between the life of a child in the slums and that of a child in the city? Why can one die, but the other one cannot? Why does society care more for the child born in the city?

Murder is Ryunosuke’s paradoxal attempt at giving life, his life, meaning. He’s trying to prove that his life doesn’t only consist of misery and pain. In Ryunosuke’s world, everyone is struggling to get by so people take what they can from others, which is the main theme of Rashomon. He follows this mindset by killing and becoming the strongest. This is frowned upon by the story which is made clear by the last line wherein the woman stares in the darkness. We could draw parallels to Fyodor Dostoevsky’s “Crime and Punishment”, where Raskolnikov, a law student, commits a murder and looks for a way to justify what he has done. He uses the same logic as the ex-servant: “I can kill this fraudulent pawnbroker cause I need the money and she is a bad person.”

The second work which Ryunosuke seems to be based off of, is The Spider’s Thread. The protagonist, Kandata, has led a life full of crime and ends up in hell because of this. Despite that, in his life he did one, albeit small, good deed; he had spared the life of a single spider. This results in the Buddha sending a thin spider thread to hell, one which he can use to climb out of there. Kandata immediately rejoices and starts climbing the thread. But as he climbs, he notices others are trying to climb after him. Scared that the fragile thread will snap under the combined weight of everyone, he starts shaking the rope. Ultimately, the spider’s thread breaks because of his efforts to throw everyone off. What actually kept Kandata from reaching salvation was his lack of empathy for the suffering of others. This also is the case for Ryunosuke who does not seem to notice other people’s misery, notably Atsushi’s. He just does not get why Atsushi is the one chosen by Osamu, and by extension the one that got ‘salvation’. It is incomprehensible to him how others can receive help and get saved, everyone but him. It is exactly this selfishness that makes redemption impossible for him. In order for Ryunosuke to get what he so desperately longs for, he must first learn to see and empathize with the suffering of others.

In my opinion, there is a third book that fits Ryunosuke’s character. It is “La Divina Commedia” by Dante Alighieri. The story is an allegory for a sinner who has recognized his wrongdoings and is repenting. In the end, the sinner finds redemption and reaches heaven. Now, if we compare this to Ryunosuke’s character development we see a lot of similarities. He starts off as a crazed killer, taking the lives of others to give value to his own. But as Atsushi confronts him and his ideals more and more, he starts refraining from killing. He doesn’t unnecessarily kill anymore because instead of looking for answers through murder, he now is looking for them in Atsushi. At one point he even promises to Atsushi to not kill anyone for 6 months, a promise he keeps. In chapter 87 of the manga, he even sacrifices his *own life* to save his enemy, his rival; Atsushi. This is a major development, because as I have made clear, Ryunosuke is selfish. He does not see the pain of others. But just this once, he did, he saw Atsushi and he selflessly saved him. Personally, I would love it if Ryu followed the same premise as The Divine Comedy.

The similarities do not end there! Ryunosuke’s Ability, Rashomon, makes him able to control and manipulate the cloth of his jacket. Rashomon is black and has a red glow to it; two colors that are important in the writings of Akutagawa. You see, Akutagawa suffered from many illnesses which made him very sensitive when it came to colors. Black, in particular, he associated with the sinners’ souls of Dante’s hell, while red he linked with blood and death. I’d like to think that this pairs up with the idea that Ryunosuke did not fall into hell, he was born there. This is one thing that separates him from the protagonists of the three aforementioned books.

1 note · View note

nightkarmaqueen · 2 years

Text

Sinners from the Past

----- Sinners from the Past || Millie Candraningsih (OC) (ft. M. Adam (OC) & Nokto Klein)

Summary : How much time had passed before she finally found the truth? She didn't know anything back then, but now she knows what his father is trying to do. Before she could break his heart and leave him, he would leave her first, leaving nothing but pain for her.

WC : 2171 Words.

Warning : Grammar errors, mention of canings, suicides, and execution processions, using form of Original Character, traumatic past, Dedes reference, BSD reference, MLQC reference, Father I Don’t Want This Marriage reference, Overwatch reference, mischaracterization, mismatch lore, just Adam being a caring older brother for Millie, etc.

A/N : I should have written Hanging Gardens! AU for Silvio. But never mind. I read the local Webtoon, "Dedes" and now I have lots of ideas for this @ndoandou‘s OC. BTW, TOO MANY STORY REFERENCES!

IF Rhodolites had The Day of Bloodstained Roses as the darkest day in their history, then in a far away land where her blood is bound, they had The Day of Atonement for the Sinners.

Back then, she didn’t know anything. Not that her father would get executed, or that her mother would committed suicide. Or even that her father’s life was taken by his own relatives.

Adinatha had knelt before his father the king. Supposedly, the golden throne before him would be his in the near future. He should be able to become the ruler of this land which is said to be really, really rich. But seeing what he had done, he was sure it would all be gone. He couldn't even leave anything to pass on to his only young daughter.

Does he regret it? No, he never regretted it. If there was one thing he regretted, then it was how he couldn't be a prove to his own daughter's growth. If he could pass some of his rights on to his daughter, then she would not have to live a miserable life. His daughter and wife could definitely live in his palace without the need to think about the sharp glares and cruel whispers people had about them. Ah, no. Honestly, Adinatha has a lot of regrets.

"Sire, I will still hold on to my dedication and I will not ask your forgiveness for what I have done. Do whatever you want to me, I still won't change my mind and endure it," said the prince, didn’t feel guilty at all.

“You didn't just embarrass me, Adinatha! You also tarnish the dignity and hurt the pride of this kingdom!” The king who was starting to lose his temper shouted. “I didn't make your mother my consort to give birth to a useless child like you!”

Adinatha suddenly smirked. "Well, Lord Father." He clearly spoke as a son to his father, not a prince to his king. “Did Mother also want to give birth to me in the first place? Isn't it because Mother has the holy priest blood in her veins, so you married her to have a descendant that could become an invincible king?! Is my mother's value that low to you?”

Anger exploded in the king's eyes, but Adinatha was not satisfied with that. “So that’s why, I won't be like you, Sire. If I had to choose a consort, then I would choose her out of love. She didn't have to be a priest's daughter or a princess from another kingdom. As long as I love her and she loves me, then she can be my consort."

Adinatha was silent for a moment. “Ah, that's right. The question now is ... can you accept it if I marry Beatrice and have offspring with her? Will you all accept Beatrice as your queen and let her rule this land by my side?” Adinatha looked at the king with a very sharp gaze, as if he was not afraid of anything. “Will you guys ever accept my daughter, who is basically a woman, as the Crown Princess and the future ruler of this land after me?”

"Sire, tell me. Didn't you make me the Crown Prince because you know I could destroy not only this land but also the surrounding kingdoms easily if I wished? And with my mother's position, don't you know I have the ability to kill you, even right here, and right now?”

Thinking that Adinatha had gone too far, the king's anger exploded. “Drag him to the center of the plaza! Let our people know how despicable their future king is!” The guards did as the king ordered and dragged Adinatha out.

The color of the night began to paint the sky. As soon as Beatrice heard the commotion in the hallway of her husband's chamber, she, who had been hugging her daughter, asked her to sleep immediately. She covered her daughter with the blanket, not letting the cold bite her. After confirming that she was really asleep, Beatrice immediately left the room with a couple of guards.

But how surprised Beatrice was when she found her husband, with the painful whip wounds clearly visible on his back, being dragged and thrown into his own chamber. The Maiden of Jade immediately lifted her husband into a hug, tears already running down her cheeks.

"Beatrice, it's okay," he whispered. However, his worrying condition betrayed his words that were supposed to be reassuring for his wife. "It’s nor that bad. This kind of wounds will be healed in a week."

"What are you saying?!" Beatrice shouted between sobs. "Are you crazy or something?! Are you just saying it's not bad?! You know a wound like this must be treated immediately. After all, how many times have they whipped you?”

“Uh, a hundred times?” Adinatha hesitated.

"That's even worse!"

A weak chuckle escaped Adinatha's lips. "My love, you will wake Ningsih up if you cry that loud." Adinatha turned his soft gaze to his daughter who was sleeping on his bed.

But in fact, Millie Candraningsih was not asleep. She listened to her mother's every cry without knowing what had happened to her. All she knew was how she heard the sadness and regret in her mother's cries.

“I wish I could send you and Ningsih back to Jade, but the king won't let me do something that easy. I'm sorry, Beatrice. I made you have to suffer like this," Adinatha whispered to his wife. He took a deep breath, still feeling the sting from the previous lash. “Really, even hell won't accept me because of what I've done. I abandoned you both."

Hearing this from her husband, Beatrice immediately hugged Adinatha. She cried profusely on her husband's chest, not caring about the smell of blood that enveloped him.

“Beatrice,” Adinatha called softly. “Beatrice, my love. Please, don't cry." Adinatha sounded so helpless as he uttered the request.

"I'm sorry, Adinatha. I'm truly … sorry!”

"Why are you apologizing? I’m fine. You and Ningsih are safe and sound too. So please, stop feeling guilty as if it was your fault.”

“How can you be fine?!” Beatrice raged, hugging her husband tighter. “It was all my fault! It was because of me … that you … had to make this choice. You have sacrificed everything for me and Ningsih but what else do they want from you?! I-I'm scared … I'm scared that you will—” Beatrice couldn't say it, let alone imagine it. Like a nightmare, she never wanted it to really happen.

“Beatrice, I love you.”

“But I ruined you!” she snapped, feeling more guilty.

"And I love you." Adinatha didn't realize the tears were already running down his own cheeks. "I love you, Beatrice."

On the day the prince was judged for his sins, he was able to make a final request. “Let go of my wife and daughter. Send them back to Jade and forget the fact that a girl with the blood of this royal family running through her veins named Millie Candraningsih ever existed.”

Beatrice's expression was so passive it was unreadable. Meanwhile, Millie could only tighten her grip on her mother’s dress. “Mother, why are Father's hands tied like that? Why did they pull Father like that?! Why did Father go there?! Where will Father go?!” Fear started to make little Millie panic.

Beatrice held herself together to stay strong. If she fell apart there, then Millie would be in danger. "Father!" Millie shouted, screaming as loud as she could.

Adinatha halted, hearing how loud his daughter was calling him. The prince looked at his daughter. Millie might not be able to understand it, but Adinatha's overly gentle and warm smile pierced Beatrice’s heart deeply.

“You’ll be fine, Ningsih. I promise you’ll be fine,” he whispered to her daughter for the last time.

So many things happened since that day, making the small girl grow up in the dark abyss of the past. She didn't know how tight the ropes of fate had to tie her. What she knows, the wounds from the past will always remain.

“The court learned the reason behind the Crown Prince’s escape. He had an affair with a maid from the Kingdom of Jade and had a daughter as a result of it. To cover up the disgrace he created toward the Royal Family, he was … eliminated.”

Silence enveloped the living room of Rhodolite Royal Palace. The smell of jasmine tea, which should have smelled so sweet, actually burned Millie's sense of smell. Her beautiful jade eyes were perfectly rounded, unable to believe what she had just read.

Their warmth began to fade. Their voice that Millie had always imagined slowly began to sound so far away. She was afraid that the day she would forget everything about her parents would come.

“It’s all right, Ningsih. You’re all right. Father is here with you.”

"Ah!" Millie jolted on her seat. Realizing she was only hallucinating, Millie wiped the tears that welled up in her eyes. She put down the document and took an envelope that came with the document.

The smell of dust and spices blends in the envelope. Her shaking hands struggled to open the letter. After she read the report, she wasn't sure if her heart would still be able to endure it.

The sanskrit script is clearly displayed. The black ink that has been dry for a long time sticks to the paper. If it weren't for her dedication to learning the language of her father's homeland, Millie would have become an illiterate by the time she read the letter.

My dearest daughter, Millie Candraningsih.

When you're reading this, it means you either found this letter or someone delivered this letter to you. But the point is, I can't be by your side anymore when you read this letter.

Ningsih, my dear. Every father hopes for a better life for his daughter. I was willing to fight and die for it. But one mistake that I regret the most, namely the doubts that haunted me at that time. I'm willing to lose everything, but I can't sacrifice you and your mother. Therefore, before I’m being someone you both leave behind, I’ll be the one to leave. I need to break your heart so you don’t have to break mine. This father of yours is truly a coward.

The most precious thing I want to protect. The savior that Beatrice gave me, my daughter.

I know I won’t be forgiven after I abandoned you and your mother. But even if you find out the truth, don’t forgive me. You don’t have have to do that. This father doesn’t dare to seek your love and forgiveness anymore. I’ll accept all of my sins.

Just like the name your mother and I gave you. You must live on with so much love and strength for yourself. And I promise you, you’ll be fine.

With love, Your Father.

Their warm embrace returned to her memory. The part of her heart that felt empty began to fill again and their voice that sounded very far away sounded clear again.

Millie Candraningsih has never asked for anything in her life, not even a hint of happiness. She resented herself for being the reason why her parents died, when in fact it was the embodiment of her father's love.

“So all this time, it wasn't the diplomatic relation you were after. It was all to show her this?” asked a Marquis who had been leaning against the door, listening to every sob that escaped the young woman’s lips. The sweet aroma of tobacco pervades the surroundings.

A sly smirk painted on the Seventh Prince of Rhodolite’s lips. “You already heard everything, I suppose?” he asked.

“Apparently, you used your six month’s worth prince’s budget just to send a delegation to late Prince Adinatha’s kingdom, and to obtain those secret documents. How did such rumors escape in this palace? Looks like Lord Noir would be overwhelmed just by looking at your spending records."

Nokto chuckled. "Don't be mean, Adam. But I suppose you're right." The prince peeked into the room to check on Millie's condition, which was still dissolved in the letter her late father had written. “She needs to know the truth about her parents. I already got my twin brother who has become friends with the abyss. And I admit it's not a pleasant place. She doesn't need to be there much longer."

Adam was silent for a moment. His fingers fiddled with the cigarette he was smoking.

“It's been a year since she came to the palace. You know it will take months just to get there. So I've been preparing for this since last year. ” Nokto explained. “I want this to be her gift for being such a good Belle and an amusing woman. My six months-budget I spent on this expedition is well spent.”

Adam could only sigh. "You're a madman, indeed."

See you at the next works! Have a great day/night~

7 notes · View notes

joeys-piano · 5 years

Text

Header created by @ao3commentoftheday, in where both creators and fans can motivate and appreciate one another for their support, company, and gratitude~

In this Motivation Monday segment, I want to shout-out some peeps that have been motivating me a lot recently and for their endless excitement and support as I’m outlining quite a monster of a story^^ ~~~~~~~~

@feu-eau I’ve already told you this many times in the past, but I’ll keep saying it again because it’s always been true. You’re my favorite person to bounce ideas with, I feel comfortable sharing with you concepts or story directions that I’m planning behind the scenes, and our interesting talks throughout the day have inspired many genuine and very human moments that I’ve written or outlined into my works. Sometimes I like to joke that you’re my muse; but in light of very recent events, I can’t help but think that my little joke may actually be true~

A quality that I really admire and appreciate from you is that you’re able to take in some of the rawest, unedited ideas that run through my head and help me mold them from a simple iron ore into something fantastic, like a royally-engraved sword. Just as some of the strongest, most durable weapons are created from a mix of metals and materials, you’ve blended your thoughts and speculations with mine and a powerful story begins to unfold. Nowadays, whenever I’m working on my outline, I feel like I’m writing the story for both of us. There’s a little bit of me and you blended into the plot lines and it’s been amazing experience seeing it all come together.

Thank you so much for being my friend, Feu. In the nearly two years that we’ve corresponded with each other, I can safely say that my writing improvements can be attributed to all of our late-night conversations about characters, headcanons, meta, and crack ideas~!

@oscmudazai Pinch me softly if I’m wrong or if my memory is not as great as it used to be, but you were one of the first people I ever got to meet and interact with from the BSD fandom~ Although we haven’t spoken very much, I’ve enjoyed your company and getting to know more about the fandom when I didn’t know very much at all! I think my fondest memory that I have with you was the odazai week event that happened a few months ago, and that was the most fun fandom week I ever participated in. It was full of thrills, some heartache, but a lot of warm and fuzzy feelings that I’ll remember for a long time.

Coincidentally, you’ve inspired some of the biggest projects I did over the summer. From meticulously-detailed outlines to some of the strangest ideas that somehow work, you’ve indirectly laid out the breadcrumbs along the road and like a chicken, I dashed, nearly choked, and tripped over my own feet as I pecked at those crumbs. Something that’s been keeping me going in writing and I feel that you relate as well, judging from our most recent conversations, is that we’re both finding things that genuinely interest us and it’s that excitement that keeps us going and motivates us to work through the ideas that are flowing from our hands.

I can’t wait to see what you come up with, and I can’t wait to read some of the ideas that you’ve been brewing~!

@serenity-writer-goddess Out of all the people I’ve talked to and have shared story ideas with, it’s quite refreshing talking about the technical process and strategies with you^^ From outlining formats, to developing character/event arcs, to sharing minute or large changes as scenes are shuffled around, and getting into a little bit of the hardcore discussions around worldbuilding and of the alike have made our conversations pretty invaluable in my eyes.

I know you’ve helped me quite a bit in developing the pseudoscience in my wip and in finding easy, approachable ways to describe difficult and even challenging concepts that are present and prevalent throughout my story. And in much the same way, I think I was able to help you with your worldbuilding and in how to approach some emotionally-charged character arcs in a grounded, human way. It’s often when you work in fiction, you kind of forget how people act in certain situations and follow trends to how someone would act. But it’s especially in fiction, no matter what kind it is or how abstract it is from reality, there is a sense of reality that binds everything together. There is a distinct human-quality behind characters that can allow them to be more approachable or relatable to readers if you to decide to polish that quality and make it visible in a character’s lowest moments and/or in some of the highest moments throughout their arc.

Characters are not caricatures to an idea, but are merely characters inspired from an idea. It’s our goal, as writers, to make our characters more than just what they’re inspired from and to give them a quality that a reader could resonate to. Those are the thoughts that come to my mind in our interactions and writerly talks, and it’s these thoughts that are in the back of my mind as I’ve been working lately.

@schizoidwire From fandom talks to absurd incidents that have occurred in our daily lives, we have a broad and random package of things to talk about. I never know what our next conversation is going to be about, and it’s that pure randomness that makes me excited whenever I see a message from you~!

From Hannibal to Bungou Stray Dogs, you’re one of the few mutuals that I can talk to about a variety of shows and fandoms, and that has always been a plus in my book because it adds to the diversity of things that can be pulled from thin-air and spun into a conversation. Although most of the stuff we talk about doesn’t involve fandom and it’s mostly funny posts that float around on the dashboard, I think that’s one of the things I enjoy most about you. You’re a chill person to interact with and with that, I feel comfortable sharing some behind the scenes things about my projects~

@dreaming-of-butterflies Every now and then, I know you’re going to slap me over the head for spoiling things from my wip so that’s why I’m going to keep this response as spoiler-free as possible. No promises, though, for I am human and will inevitably slip up somewhere~! Rather purposely, but that’s beside the point

You are a true wildcard when it comes to sharing snippets or what happens in a story, that I often don’t die know if you’re going to scream at me for sharing something that I shouldn’t have, crying because I somehow broke your heart, or you going to give me this wide-eyed look of excitement and want to hear more. I never knows what’s going to happen, and I think that’s why I’ve kept you in the dark for a while because there are certain things that I can’t share with you, and there are certain things that I do want to share but have no idea how to approach it from a non-spoiler angle. So as I raise my metaphorical chalice into the air, I don’t give a damn and I’m going to spoil for you anyway.

There’s a certain book that’s referenced throughout the story that you may want to pay attention to. This book doesn’t exist in real life, so you don’t need to fret about avoiding its cover and title like the plague. But just keep in mind when that certain book is referenced and what scenes it’s referenced in. For you see, this book holds a lot of answers to questions that are made clear at the beginning of the fic. Although you’ll rarely read any passages from this book that doesn’t exist, it has a profound influence on the first third of the fic and on the characters that are associated with it.

#motivation monday #reader appreciation

9 notes · View notes

lady-une · 5 years

Text

BSD Ch 13

Did you bring tissue? If not please go grab some. This is the chapter that finally brings us back to the start of this journey. Our poor Seungri has been through so much, and yet he still has so much to go through. I want to thank all of you for reading this and sticking with me on this. I love both Seungri and Jiyong and only want what’s best for them. With everything that has been going on this beard season it’s been rough. Yet i have faith that our newly healthy Jiyong and Seungri had time to be together and reconnect. I mean Seungri doesnt just bring out the turtlneck for shits and giggles lol. But anyways, I hope you enjoy this update. As always please let me know what you think, it helps me grow as a writer. And share, help me reach someone who might be needing some angst in their life!

He thought their love was eternal, that nothing would be able to break them apart. He put his trust and faith in the man he loved with all his heart. The one man he thought would never hurt him, did it in the most horrific way possible. How will he move on, having to see the man who broke his heart day in and day out. Having to see him smile and look at another the way he once did him. If had known this was his destiny all along, he would never had started on this path to begin with.

Word count: 4476

Theme: Angst

Rating: Mature, SMUT, Drinking

Pairing: Kwon Jiyong x Seungri

Master List

Chapter 1

Walking into the apartment Jiyong could feel his face swelling. His eyes were already swollen from all the crying. The only thing he wanted to do was fall into his bed and sleep away the pain, hopefully the next day would be better. Yet that was not going to happen.

“Jagi what happened to your face?” Soo-min cried out as she rushed from the kitchen over to Jiyong to touch his face.

“We need to talk.” Jiyong replied as he walks her over to the couch.

“Who did this to you?”

“I deserved this. But I don’t want to talk to you about that. I need to talk to you about us.”

“What about us?”

“We have been together for some time. We have had lots of good memories. There was a time where I wanted to marry you and have a family. But I can’t continue on like this. It’s not fair to you or me. So, I want to break up.”

Jiyong waited for her response as he watched her face morph from concerned to one of confusion.

“Why?” Soo-min asked as she tilted her head to the side.

“Because my heart always belonged to another.”

“So. Marry me and let’s continue on. You can have your beloved maknae on the side and we will be happy and can have a family. Besides it’s not like your relationship would ever be accepted. Korea is not America where gays are accepted. You two would be thrown out for bringing your relationship to light. Plus, Seungri is a man, he won’t ever give you children. It was always meant to be man and woman. So, let’s just continue on with everything.”

When Soo-min finished her speech, she had moved closer to Jiyong and grabbed a hold of his hand holding it in between hers. Jiyong looked at their linked hands and back to her face. He was so surprised by her response, he never imagined that she knew of Seungri. Pulling his hand away from her Jiyong stood up from the couch.

“No just like the beards in the past you won’t ever change my mind. I was a damn fool and weak. I hurt the one person who I have loved the most. I need to end things with you in order to set things right.”

“Who says you can? Seungri has Mino now. His heart doesn’t hold you anymore.”

“It does. I will show him that.”

“Such a fool. Don’t worry I will always be here waiting for you to come back.”

Jiyong watched with a look of shock on his face as Soo-min stood from the couch and collected her things before walking out the door. She acted like nothing had happened. Jiyong wasn’t sure how this was going to play out, but he had a bad feeling.

Over the next few days Jiyong attempted to contact Seungri many times but never could reach him. He had gone over to the maknae’s apartment but couldn’t get in and the normal security guard was out of town. Jiyong had also met up with Yang Hyun-suk, he knew he was going to get an earful, but he never expected such a violent reaction. The way he was being screamed at he was afraid the older man was going to burst a blood vessel or have a heart attack. He also didn’t expect a water bottle among paper to be thrown at him. All the years he had worked in YG he never once heard Yang Hyun-suk talk in that voice or lift a hand at him. All Jiyong could do was apologize over and over for his actions and promise to fix things and keep the group together. He was dismissed with a wave of the hand and Jiyong felt as if things could start getting better if only he could get a hold of the maknae.

Waiting at the airport for the flight to board to take the group to Japan Jiyong sat around with the other members. He kept glancing up from his phone looking around for Seungri but didn’t see him. Every time he heard the clap of expensive shoes walk near him his head would shoot up but every time he was disappointed. Finally, he asked one of the managers where he was only to be told that Seungri was already in Japan, that he had left a few days ago so that he could relax. Jiyong ran his hand through his hair grabbing on to it.

“Yang Hyun-suk thought it would be a good idea for him to get away and to help Mino network over there.” The manager said.

Jiyong tried to swallow the anger that was coursing through his veins, angry that Yang Hyun-suk didn’t even mention this. Angry that he didn’t even ask Jiyong about sending Seungri ahead of them. How was he supposed to fix things if Seungri isn’t even here? Finally the announcement came over the speaker allowing them to board the plane. Jiyong grabbed his bag and walked to the loading door, he was hoping that he would be able to talk with his maknae but now that was shot to hell. Sitting down in his seat Jiyong pulled out his phone turning it on airplane mode before turning on his playlist and closing his eyes. It was a playlist that Seungri had made for him before he enlisted, the songs he had on there were all their favorites. Memories flooded through his mind of happier times, times where they would sit on the couch talking about their future. Times where they sat comfortably in silence as they listened to music. Memories of them in the studio recording songs. Then more intimate memories came through, those memories reminded him of the videos on Seungri’s laptop. Over the past couple of days Jiyong had watched more of the videos and the self-hatred grew inside him. He had turned that sweet loving man into a broken-hearted man. As He felt himself drift off to sleep he vowed to fix Seungri’s broken heart.

It had been a long day. Jiyong had been working none stop on the comeback, wanting to make sure that everything was in order for when Seungri came back from his military duty. The other members did their best to make things as easy as possible for Jiyong, they knew how hard it had been since he enlisted. He just missed the other piece to his heart.

Twirling his ring around his finger Jiyong stepped off the elevator going to his door. Entering the code he walked in to find the lights were off like they should be, but there on the floor were small candles with roses trailed from the door down the hall. Kicking his shoes off Jiyong followed the trail down to the bathroom. Walking into the bathroom he stopped in the door. There sitting on the edge in a silk robe sat his other half. Seungri smiled as he carried two glasses of wine to Jiyong.

“Surprise!” Seungri said with a kiss.

“What are you doing here?” Jiyong asked with tears in his eyes.

“I earned an extra day off and I wanted to surprise you. Youngbae said you were having a hard time.”

Jiyong setting down the glass he was handed he pulled Seungri into his arms kissing him deeply. The kiss was full of need and desperation. Quickly the two stripped off their clothes before Seungri fell to his knees taking Jiyong in his mouth.

Jiyong grabbed onto Seungri’s head as he tried to set the pace, he tried to keep himself in check but soon lost it at the feeling of Seungri’s lips wrapped around his member. Jiyong let out a moan as he felt Seungri take him deep into his throat swallowing around him before grabbing his sack and pulling on it.

“Fuck!” Jiyong shouted as he thrusted into Seungri’s mouth releasing his seed deep down his throat.

Seungri pulled off Jiyong’s member making sure to not let any bit of Jiyong go to waste. Standing up Seungri kissed Jiyong on the lips before turning Jiyong around and grabbing the lube.

“Switching things up tonight?” Jiyong asked.

“Mmhmm.” Seungri responded as he poured the lube onto his fingers before slowly inserting them into Jiyong.

Jiyong threw his head back letting out a moan as he felt him being stretched out in just the right way. It didn’t take long for Jiyong to be prepared. Seungri pulled his fingers out before positioning himself at Jiyong’s entrance and entering him. The two both shouted out in bliss and finally being connected in such a long time.

“I’m sorry my love but I won’t last long. It’s been too long, and you feel too good.” Seungri said through gritted teeth as he thrusted in.

“Fuck Ri just do it!” Jiyong moaned out.

That was all Seungri needed as he thrusted like a sledgehammer into Jiyong. The sounds of skin on skin slapping bounced off the walls. Sweat began dripping from their bodies as they gave into their feelings. Seungri gripped Jiyong’s hips no doubt leaving bruises where his finger tips laid. He felt the burning heat rising in his body. Jiyong clamped down on Seungri’s member causing him to fall into that heat. Cries of ecstasy filled the room as both men shook with pleasure.

When the two had control of their bodies again they moved to the tub slowly slipping in. The water was warm just as they need to help relax their bodies. The tub was big enough that Jiyong laid back allowing Seungri to lay between his legs.

“God I missed this.” Jiyong said as he encircled Seungri with his arms.

“Me too.” Seungri replied as he kissed Jiyong’s hand.

“I don’t want to let you go.”

“I will be back soon my love. For now, let us enjoy the night.”

“We will enjoy it over and over and over!”

Seungri giggled as he turned around in Jiyong’s arms to kiss him. “I hope so.”

Jiyong awoke to Youngbae shaking him. Rubbing his eyes he blinked the sleepiness away.

“We just landed, you awake?”

“Yeah.”

The members made their way to the hotel, everyone was excited to be back in Japan but Jiyong. Jiyong sat in the back listening to Daesung go on and on about how he couldn’t wait to meet up with all his old friends. That he had heard of some new restaurants that opened up, ones that had a large selection of wine which made the eldest member excited. When the members arrived at the hotel, they entered and were met by Seungri and his manager. Jiyong took in Seungri’s appearance and saw that his panda eyes were more sunken in and the markings were darker. His skin was pale, and he looked as if he had lost weight. That self-hatred which was making it self-home in his chest stirred inside him. He wanted to reach out to Seungri but before he could move, he saw Mino come up next to Seungri and link his arm with the maknae’s.

“Hyungs you’re here! How was your flight.?” Mino asked.

Jiyong didn’t even hear Youngbae’s answer, all he could do was count in his head to calm himself down before he ripped Mino’s hands off Seungri.

“I am glad you had a good flight. Seungri hyung was kind enough to join me on my PR tour and he helped me meet some people here. Hyung is really popular over here, all his friends were more than happy to help me network with others. If it wasn’t for hyung I don’t think this trip would have been as successful.” Mino said as he smiled up at Seungri.

Jiyong watched as Seungri smiled but he knew that it was forced, it didn’t reach his eyes nor did he look like he was even mentally there. Once everyone was checked in the members took the elevator up to their floor. Jiyong watched Seungri in the corner of the elevator and ignored Mino who was happily chatting away with Daesung. The elevator bell rang and announced the floor number. As everyone was exiting the elevator Jiyong took his chance and reached out grabbing onto Seungri’s hand.

“Ri can we talk for a minute please?” He asked.

“No.” Seungri replied, his voice monotone void of any emotion.

“Please?” Jiyong begged.

Seungri didn’t reply and shook off Jiyong’s hand and exited the elevator walking past his members and going into his room. Leaving Jiyong slowly trailing behind everyone.

Over the next few days as the members were promoting their comeback, they attended some variety shows and did interviews on the radio. Jiyong still tried to get Seungri alone to talk to him but every time he found a moment alone Seungri would always find a way out. Jiyong didn’t want to force him, no he needed to change and show Seungri that he was a different man. He couldn’t force him anymore, he needed to go about this in a different way, a gentler way. Jiyong watched as Seungri smiled for the camera and played his happy maknae roll. Yet Jiyong could see the sorrow in his eyes. The dark marks were hidden under makeup but he still looked as if he wasn’t eating or sleeping.

Two nights before the first concert in the Japan leg of the tour Seungri only wanted to be alone in his room. The weight of his choice to leave the band was weighing on him like a thousand-pound rock. The members had each gone to him and begged him not to leave, they understood why he wanted to but still implored him to reconsider. Seungri was torn in two, on one hand he didn’t want to leave his group. To be separated from his friends who had played a big role in his life over the past 13 plus years. Then on the other hand he didn’t want to see Jiyong happily living with his girlfriend, he couldn’t survive him being the possessive man stuck between his past and future. His heart and soul were in a constant state of chaos and it was taking its tole on him. His nights were never peaceful, Seungri constantly woke up from nightmares. Nightmares of Jiyong living happily with his family as Seungri sat in the distance. He had lost his appetite, food didn’t taste the same to him any longer. Things that brought him joy before only felt as if they were draining him. He did his best to hide this from his members and from Mino but the younger man was not stupid. That’s how Seungri had found himself sitting down to eat dinner in a restaurant.

The food wasn’t horrible but it didn’t taste the way it should in his mouth. Even chewing the food felt like work, Seungri forced himself to chew every peace even when his jaw didn’t have the strength to mush the food between his teeth. Mino tried to keep a light conversation going between the two and Seungri did his best to respond with some kind of emotion so that the younger man wouldn’t worry. When dinner was finally coming to a close Mino had excused himself to the bathroom. With a sigh of tiredness Seungri pulled his phone out and opened it up. His phone had been buzzing the whole time they were eating, now he had a chance to see what all the commotion was about. Opening Instagram Seungri saw all the posts he was tagged in. All the food he had just eaten turned in his stomach threatening to make a second appearance as he saw the pictures. Picture after picture was posted of Soo-min, the pictures were shot outside of a building, but you could clearly see a smiling Soo-min in a wedding dress. Suddenly things clicked into place. The reason Jiyong was adamant on talking to Seungri must have been about this. The reason Jiyong wasn’t being his normal pushy self after being denied what he wanted, must have been because he knew the truth was going to come out. Seungri shot up from his spot and grabbed his jacket making a quick exit out of the restaurant before his food and sobs would explode from his body.

Jiyong laid on his stomach watching some movie play on the television. It was some boring show that did little to keep him occupied but he needed to busy himself instead of pestering Seungri. Grabbing the remote Jiyong changed the channel just as Youngbae came bursting through his door.

“What the hell is this?” Youngbae shouted.

“What is what?” Jiyong asked.

Youngbae threw his phone at Jiyong which barely missed his face as he dodged it. Jiyong raised his eyebrow at his best friend as he picked up the device. Jiyong looked down at the phone and saw what had caused his friend to act violently.

“Where is Seungri?” Jiyong asked as he felt the blood inside him boil.

“He is out with Mino eating dinner.”

“Call Mino and make sure Seungri doesn’t look at his phone. That fucking bitch! I told her we were through! Who the fuck does she think she is?”

“You broke up with her?” Youngbae asked.

“Yeah after our last concert. I went home and ended things, but she was going on about us continuing the relationship. She knew about me and Seungri too, it was like I was talking to a different person.”

Jiyong continued to look at the pictures and comments as Youngbae used Jiyong’s phone to call Mino.

“What do you mean he is gone? Why weren’t you watching him? Where are you? No stay there we will be there in a few.”

Jiyong waited for Youngbae to end the call before he started in. “What’s going on?”

“Mino said it’s too late, Seungri must have seen the pictures because when he came back from the bathroom he was already gone.”

“Call the others, we need to find him.”

Youngbae called the other members and managers before they all set off to meet up with Mino. Each member and their manager took separate cars and went to check out Seungri’s known places. Jiyong did the same going to all their favorite places and tried to track his phone as he had the password for his apple account. It was of no use as the phone had been powered off and the last known location was the restaurant. Jiyong pulled up Seungri’s bank account and looked to see if he had made any purchases but there was nothing. With a growl of frustration Jiyong called and placed a hold on all of Seungri’s credit cards. If the maknae didn’t have access to his money, then he would surly call for help. When everyone regrouped back at the hotel Jiyong walked past them and headed to his room. He didn’t need to see the pitty in their eyes.

Meanwhile Seungri was held up in a hotel across town. He looked at his broken phone that laid on the ground as he drank the dark liquid from the whisky bottle. He was never one to drink whisky, he didn’t like how heavy it was. His body felt hot as he cried and downed the liquid burning his throat. The burn was helping him drown out the heart break. He had thought the pain of Jiyong leaving him and the betrayal was hard, but that was nothing compared to what he was feeling now. He cursed as he threw the now empty bottle to the ground watching it crash and shatter into millions of pieces.

“Why couldn’t you have just loved me?” Seungri shouted to the empty room.

“Why couldn’t I have been enough for you? I loved you! God I loved you. I would have died for you.” He cried as he fell over on the couch.

Rolling off the couch barely missing the shards of glass he reached for a bottle of wine that laid open taking a swig from the bottle just as the phone rang. Crawling on all fours he made his way to the phone on the other side of the room.

“Hello.” Seungri slurred.

“Sir we were trying to process the payment on the room but your card is coming up declined. Do you have another form of payment?”

Seungri reached into his back pocket and pulled out a card reading the numbers off in a slurred slow pace only for the person on the other end to say it too was declined. Seungri sighed and read off three more cards, all coming up declined.

“Fuck.” He shouted.

“Excuse me?” The voice asked.

“Nothing.” Seungri pulled out a card he hadn’t used in ages. He didn’t want to use it but then again it was Jiyong’s own fault for putting him through this so why shouldn’t he pay for it. “Use this card, it never declines.” Seungri read off the numbers to the black card and waited for the response.

“That went through, thank you.”

“Mmhmm.” Seungri replied before placing the phone back on the receiver.

Moving his way back to the couch Seungri was able to take one more drink before he started to feel his subconsciousness start to fade.

“Why couldn’t you have just loved me and had faith.” Seungri whispered before blacking out on the floor.

It was the early hours of the morning, Jiyong had barely gotten any sleep when his phone started ringing. Answering it quickly he had hoped it was finally Seungri calling for help but it was only his bank. Jiyong was just about to hang up on them when they inquired about a recent charge to a hotel, not the hotel they were staying at. Jiyong thought for a moment, it had to have been Seungri because no one other than himself and his sister had access to the black card and only one of the two was currently in Japan.

“Give me the name of the hotel again.” Jiyong shouted as he sat up from his bed putting his clothes back on and running to his managers room banging on the door.

A sleepy Taehee answered the door in his pajamas. “What’s wrong?” He asked.

“Let’s go, I know where the maknae is.” Jiyong said.

Taehee turned around quickly grabbing his jacket and keys before following Jiyong out of the hotel.

Seungri rolled over on the floor having been woken up from a nightmare of Jiyong leaving him all over again. His whole body ached at the memory, a sharp pain in his stomach had him making his way hastily to the bathroom where he emptied the contents of the night before into the bowl. Flushing the toilet Seungri slowly sank to the floor.

The cold diamond shaped tile in the hotel bathroom did little to help Seungri cool his overheated flesh. How did things come to this? How did he end up there laid out next to the toilet where he had just emptied what he had eaten and drank the previous night. The world was spinning out of control, not just because of the pounding hangover that he was currently experiencing but because everything seemed to have just gone to hell. His life was falling apart, the man he loved with all his heart had betrayed him and now he was leaving his band.

More pounding rang in Seungri’s ears, yet he wasn’t entirely sure if it was real or not. Turning onto his side he reached out to the tub that sat next to the toilet for support. His vision swam while his stomach churned, quickly moving to the toilet he made it in time, but the only thing that came up was yellow bile as he dry heaved until his stomach cramped up from all the pressure he was using.

More pounding filled his head as he slipped back to the floor into a fetal position. Closing his eyes in attempt to make the world stop spinning and for the pounding to go away he cringed and prayed for things to just stop. Seungri hated closing his eyes, every time he did memories would appear from the happier times. Times where they were happy and in love. Times where they thought they could take on the world and that nothing could tear them apart. Yet he was there, and Seungri was not. No longer was his hand holding Seungri’s. No longer was it Seungri in his arms. He didn’t look at Seungri with his sparkling eyes, he didn’t look at Seungri at all. Seungri wished he could hate him but he couldn’t, this was what his lover had wanted after all right? He wanted a family and to be happy out in the open. So all Seungri could do was let him go, it was time to let go of everything. Reaching for the toilet Seungri slowly made his way to stand, but his legs were weak and the room was spinning causing Seungri to lose his balance. Seungri tried to stabilize himself but it was no use, Seungri fell fast and hard clipping the sink with his head. Pain filled his senses as he felt a warm liquid run down his face. Moving his hand he wiped at the liquid pulling his hand away only to see it covered in blood before the world turned dark.

Jiyong was currently outside the door to Seungri’s hotel room banging on the door but he didn’t hear any answer. Turning to Taehee he shouted for him to go get a manager, he needed to get in that room. What felt like hours but was only a matter of minutes Taehee had returned with a manger who quickly opened the door. The two men entered the room and saw the mess of broken bottles that littered the floor.

“Seungri?” Jiyong shouted.

Jiyong heard no reply and told Taehee to check the bedroom as he went to the bathroom. Pushing the door open Jiyong, never imagined he would find what he did. There on the bathroom floor in a pool of blood laid Seungri. Jiyong fell to the floor and screamed as he scrambled to Seungri placing his hand on the younger man’s head trying to stop the blood.

“What?” Taehee yelled as he ran to the bathroom coming to a halt horrified at the sight before him.

“Call an ambulance hurry!” Jiyong shouted.

Taehee pulled out his phone shouting at the 911 operator to send help.

Jiyong cried as he applied pressure to Seungri’s head. How had this happened? He asked himself.

Jiyong shook Seungri gently as he sobbed. “Please Ri don’t go, stay with me. Please Ri open your eyes. Yell at me, curse at me. Just wake up! Don’t go! You can’t leave me here alone!”

27 notes · View notes

dazaaaai · 6 years

Note

(person from ur tumblr): CAN I JUST SAY THIS BLOG IS AWESOME :D I cant believe I found another person who likes bsd! btw Im Kunikida's wife, nice to meet you. Tell ur hus that Kunikida wants an explanation regarding the sudden disappearance of his nb XDD Aaanyways, to get to the point, I was hoping maaaybe for a prompt like: Kunikida sick w/ cold and a sweet Dazai takes care of him...?

HI THERE!! Sorry this is so late omg it’s been almost half a year but BLESS!!! It’s always good to have more people who like the Bungalow Wild Pups :D hello Mrs. Kunikida it’s a pleasure to meet you as well, I’ll be sure to tell Dazai to attend to the case of Kunikida’s missing notebook XD And yes !! You may of course, have your request! I think it’s not as fluffy and one-on-one as you wanted, but I had a lot of fun writing, so thank you for requesting and I do hope you enjoy it as much as I did typing it up!!

This Can’t End Well

⋆pairing: none that are mentioned!⋆ characters: Doppo Kunikida, Osamu Dazai, Akiko Yosano (main); Atsushi Nakajima, Junichirou Tanizaki, Kenji Miyazawa, Edogawa Ranpo, OC (secondary); Fukuzawa Yukichi, Kirako Haruno and the clerks (mentioned)⋆genre: mostly comedy, fluff near the end⋆ rating: K+⋆warnings: mentions of vomiting and other sickness symptoms⋆words: 2051→ summary: Kunikida’s definitely sick, and neither the Agency nor he himself are entirely certain what to do. Dazai, however, has a plan…

This couldn’t end well.

He didn’t want to admit it. It was shameful, and he had work to do! He couldn’t just slack off, couldn’t just stay at home… He had a schedule to keep to, an ideal — there was no way he could allow himself to be lazy, no way he could allow himself to act like…

Dazai pinches his cheek, “Kunikida-kuuuun. You look awfully red.”

Kunikida growls, “Well. Maybe if someone weren’t standing here trying to annoy me to death, my complexion would be a lot paler.”

“I don’t think it’s just that,” Dazai hums, moving his hand from his cheek to his forehead, Kunikida doing everything in his power to keep typing and not snap Dazai’s wrist. “Kunikida-kun, I think you have a fever!”

“Absolutely not,” Kunikida quickly swats his hand away before returning to his ever-important document. Click-clack, click-clack…

“I think maybe Yosano-sensei should take a look at you.”

“Absolutely not.”

And then, to Kunikida’s horror, his body completely betrays him. His nose seizes, his lip quivers, his face scrunches up…

He does an awful, awful thing.

He sneezes.

“Bless you, Kunikida-san!” Comes Atsushi’s voice from across the desk, from where the tiger boy is sitting, on the other chair.

Kunikida swiftly wipes his nose with a hanky, returning to his typing.

“You know,” Dazai says, leaning against his chair. “Our little photographer says that where she’s from, a single sneeze means bad luck, or very simply, ‘be patient.’ Maybe your work can wait?”

“Nonsense! I do not procrastinate,” But his voice sounds stuffy — stuffier than usual, Kunikida’s sure Dazai would remark — and his eyes feel weary. His throat is scratchy, too…

“Uh-oh,” Dazai coos. “I think somebody’s definitely sick.”

“No.”

“You really don’t look so well, Kunikida-kun.”

“I’m fine, Dazai!”

“You’re sick,” Dazai’s teasingly insistent, turning to his subordinate, “Atsushi-kun! Doesn’t Kunikida-kun seem sick to you?”

Atsushi glances nervously between his two superiors — one wears an easy-going smile and the other’s glaring daggers at Atsushi, as if daring him to speak up.

“W-well,” he begins. “Kunikida-san’s a logical man… Why would he come to work if he wasn’t feeling well?”

“I don’t know,” Dazai hums. “Why don’t you ask him?”

Atsushi takes one look at Kunikida, yelps, and buries his face back in his paperwork.

“I am not sick, Dazai,” Kunikida says, with a sense of finality — he refuses to accept any prolonging of this discussion. He has work to do.

But then…

Coughs.

It’s a small, tickle of sorts, within the back of his throat, at first. Then the tickle turns into scraping in his lungs, and soon enough Kunikida’s hacking up spit and bile into the palm of his hand, desperately trying to keep the contents of his stomach inside his body where they belong.

“Kunikida-san?” It’s Junichirou this time, he’s walking by with a stack of folders and binders. The boy’s bright red eyes gaze at Kunikida with concern, “Are you alright? You don’t look too good.”

“Tanizaki-san, I assure you, I’m in perfect health—” Kunikida says, but ends up being unable to continue as another coughing fit wracks his chest.

Junichirou frowns, “You should go lie down in Yosano-sensei’s infirmary, if only for a bit. It’d help a lot — I can take over what you need to do for today from here, if you need me to.”

Kunikida dismisses him with a wave of his shaky hand, “No, I insist. I have it under control.”

He returns to his typing, only to realize upon hitting a certain point in his document, that he needs to refer and source something from a case they’d solved last year — the files to do with that are not on the hard drive belonging to the computer he’s currently working with. In fact, they haven’t been digitized yet, so they’re on a shelf against the walls of the office, a little ways away from where Kunikida’s working.

All he has to do is get up and get the binder. Simple, right?

Not right. He gets up and is immediately hit by a wave of dizziness so intense that both Atsushi and Junichirou shout at once, “Kunikida-san!”

They rush to his side just as his head’s about to hit the ground and catch him, the two younger, weaker boys barely holding the man upwards, dragging him back to his seat, which he collapses in gratefully, and while breathing heavily.

“You definitely need a break,” Junichirou puts a hand to Kunikida’s forehead, tutting when he feels the high temperature of his skin.

“No no,” Kunikida insists, but when he sits up he again finds himself dizzy, collapsing back once more in his seat.

“Everybody needs to rest sometime,” Atsushi says, voice soft.

“I can rest at night, when I’m asleep…”

“Kunikida-san,” Junichirou continues. “We’re going to take you to Yosano-sensei and see what she thinks, okay?”

Kunikida’s face manages to pale, at least, in comparison to how red it is from his fever. “Oh no.”

Dazai cackles maniacally, “How exciting! Gotta get treated by the scary scary doctor when you have the suds, Kunikida-kuuun…!”

“Is he alright?” Kenji asks, poking his head out from behind Atsushi and Junichirou, who’ve been waiting outside of Yosano’s office for about half an hour.

He was asking this question to Yosano, of course, who’d finally unlocked the door and stepped outside, seeming bemused in expression but smiling gently at Kenji, then laughing.

“Oh he’s fine,” she replies at last. “He’s just sick.”

“I knew it!” Dazai yells cheerily from across the floor.

“So he really is sick?” Junichirou bites his lip, “Can you heal him?”

Yosano shakes her head, “No. My ability only works on injuries, and is mostly intended for the life-threatening kind… It can do nothing for psychological damage, medical problems you were born with, nor, in this particular case… The common cold.”

“He caught a cold?” Atsushi’s almost in awe. “That seems so strange. He’s always seemed so healthy and hard-working.”

“Finally took its toll,” Yosano sighs. “It’s a sign that he needs to rest.”

She then narrows her eyes, looking all around at the Agency members.

“Whatever you do,” she begins, tone deadly serious and commanding. “Do not let that man leave his bed. I don’t care if he begs or pleads or cries, he will not work today.”

“B-but,” Atsushi tries to argue. “Yosano-sensei! You know Kunikida-san is so very, u-um—!”

“Doctor’s orders,” is Yosano’s firm reply, as she exits the Agency with her heels pattering against the marble. “Now, I’m off to get cough syrup for the patient. Do what you will to make him feel comfortable, if you feel like it — though I’m sure he’d rather you all be working in his absence.”

The door shuts, and a silence falls upon the members of the Agency.

“What…” Atsushi trails off. “Now?”

“Isn’t it obvious, Atsushi-kun?” Dazai laughs, coming to put a hand on the boy’s shoulder, “We take care of Kunikida-kun until Yosano-sensei returns from the pharmacy.”

“How do we take care of him though?” Junichirou looks at Dazai, curious. “We’re not doctors.”

“Oh, pish-tosh! It’s just a cold, right? Everybody has home remedies for a cold! Why not throw some suggestions my way, and I’ll see what I can do for my beloved coworker!”

“Dazai-san,” Atsushi’s surprised. “I didn’t know you cared about Kunikida-san so much.”

Dazai puts a hand to his chest, as if he’s completely and totally offended. “Why! Atsushi-kun. I’m struck at the very idea that you thought I don’t care about him. Nothing could be further from the truth! He takes such good care of the Agency, why don’t we return the favor for a change?”

There are slow, then enthusiastic nods amongst the younger Agency members, but Ranpo simply cackles from where he sits, sucking on a lollipop.

“Oh yeah,” he shakes his head, eyes ever closed in amusement. “This can’t end well.”

“Now now,” Dazai claps his hands together. “Ranpo-san, don’t be so pessimistic! So, which of you lovelies has an idea for what we could do?”

“Well,” Kenji taps his chin. “Honey will do the trick, if he has a sore throat.”

The brown-eyed girl sitting next to Kenji sticks out her tongue, “Honey. Yucky! I hate that stuff. I have a better idea,” she gets up off her seat, and skips off to the front door, “I’m going to go down to the café, ask Lucy if she has any maple syrup. Same effect, tastes much better!”

Before anyone can stop her, the door is opened and shut once more.

“Maybe something hot and warm to eat,” Atsushi turns around. “Like soup.”

“Atsushi-kun, can you cook?”

“M-more or less, but—”

“Wonderful! Accompany the little princess down to the cafe and ask if you can use their kitchen and ingredients — be sure to tell them to put charges on your tab, alright?”

“B-but!”

“You’re the one who suggested it, not me. Now go, go go go!”

Atsushi sighs, getting up and doing so.

“What should we do?” Junichirou and Kenji ask in unison.

“Hmmm,” Dazai tips his head, thinking. “You two should take care of Kunikida’s work while he’s away from his keyboard. I’m sure he’d appreciate that tons!”

Junichirou furrows his eyebrows, “His work is really complicated, at least to me. I’m just an errand boy, Dazai-san…”

Kenji nods in nervous agreement, “Yeah. And I still don’t know what a computer is, let alone how to use one!”

Dazai laughs, like it’s not a problem at all. “You’re two capable boys! I’m sure you can figure out.”

They exchange glances, then get up, bowing lightly, saying, “We’ll do our best!”

Dazai waves them off happily, then turns to the infirmary’s door with what can only be described as a grin akin to that of the Cheshire Cat.

So begins his fun…

“Y-Yosano-sensei!” Kunikida splutters as the woman enters her office once more, having returned with the cough medicine she’d promised.

“Hmm?” Yosano raises a perfectly-shaped eyebrow in confusion. “Kunikida-kun, you’re acting so scared as if I might treat you with my ability.”

“This is worse,” he whispers. “So much worse.”

“What happened?” Yosano rolls down one of her gloves to check her watch, “I couldn’t have been gone more than forty minutes.”

“Dazai happened.”

And Kunikida, with a dying voice, though Yosano insists for him to rest his throat, regales her on all the awful things that have occurred in those devastating forty minutes that Yosano was absent.

First, Atsushi and his little friend come back up into the Agency, one with a pot of hot soup, and the other with a big urn (that’s the only word that comes to Kunikida’s mind, as it was just so large) of maple syrup, both insisting that he eat it all.

He, er, had expelled most of it, to his utter humiliation and to Yosano’s complete unsurprise.

And then, it got worse… Dazai came in and tried to cheer him up, as it were, by driving him “COMPLETELY UP THE WALL” and constantly poking and prodding him, pretending to give him a soothing massage when really he was nearly breaking Kunikida’s foot to go along with his disease.

Then, to top it all off, Junichirou comes in, maybe five or ten minutes before Yosano’s return, only to tell him that he finished all of Kunikida’s work… When Kunikida asked Junichirou to show him, Kenji waddled in with the laptop, and after seeing the state it was in, Kunikida could do nothing but scream.

Kunikida’s end up sent home for the week — and the detectives are given a thorough scolding from the President. Ranpo laughs about it nonstop, every day up until Kunikida returns…

And once he does, nobody goes near him, not even Dazai.

They know if they do…

It won’t end well.

But, when Kunikida arrives, all better now though even angrier than usual, to sit at his desk…

He finds a little card perched on his laptop.

He takes the small, thick paper, and unfolds it to reveal the words, surely in one of the members’ neat calligraphy…

We’re sorry!! Get well soon, Kunikida-san!

And it’s signed by every one of the detectives and clerks, even Dazai and Ranpo.

So maybe it did end well, after all.

#bungou stray dogs #kunikida doppo #doppo kunikida #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #yosano akiko #akiko yosano #armed detective agency #bsd #bungo stray dogs #fanfic #anonymous #ask

29 notes · View notes

galaxteaholic · 6 years

Text

Bang Dream x Bungou Stray Dogs (what if)

For those Bungou Stray Dogs fans and Bang Dream fans (since I, myself am one), I decided to make a blog to discuss if there will ever be a collaboration.

I am aware that not everybody likes the anime of Bungou Stray Dogs because I hear some opinions are “not even seinen” or something along those lines. So I respect all of your opinions about it.

Anyway, since we are aware that the opening songs of Bungou Stray Dogs are just boppin’(you get reference) and the rock themes is really great while we get a calm (yet still rock but a softer one) as the ending song. Though, I don’t really know if there will ever be a collaboration of BSD and Bang Dream but I’d like to share my thoughts about what song they could perform.

Remember, these are all my opinions about what song they could cover because of the bands’ genres and vocals. I would like to hear your opinions about my song choices.

1. Poppin’ Party

- Namae wo Yobu yo (By: Luck Life)

I think Poppin’ Party will be able to pull off Namae wo Yobu yo because the ending theme is popular for the main band. Namae wo Yobu yo is the first ending theme of the anime, since Poppin’ Party is the main band, I thought that they could perform this song. The song is still rock but it has a calmer tone with the vocals, I can imagine Kasumi singing the song or the band would make a cover for it. But since the theme for Poppin’ Party has a sparkling, upbeat and energetic feeling, I have another song suggestion about what they could perform.

- Trash Candy (By: GRANRODEO)

Now, I think this would be more fitting to the vibe that Poppin’ Party gives. Since they did Life Will Change in Persona 5, they are more likely to perform a cover for Trash Candy because of the upbeat and rock genre that GRANRODEO makes. It will suit the energetic and sparkling vibe of Poppin’ Party. The strong vocals of the singer is something I can imagine to Kasumi (but more on to Ran or Yukina but we’ll talk about them later.) singing the song because I thought that Poppin’ Party would sing the first opening and/or ending theme of the anime of Bungou Stray Dogs.

2. Afterglow

- Kaze ga Fuku machi (By: Luck Life)

For the calm rock theme that gives a cooler vibe than the first ending theme of the first season of BSD and I like it better than Namae wo Yobu yo. I still feel like it suits Afterglow (though Pastel Palettes or Roselia can pull it off too), for it’s soothing music and suiting voice that I think Ran can perform it. According to the band info, it say that they are still inexperienced but popular for their powerful performances and strong vocals. When I thought of what song that Afterglow could perform, this is the first song I could think of for the band because of the fast-going tones. I thought it would be fitting even though the appearance of the band looked rebellious but since they have performed covers and original songs similar to the tone, I had an idea that they could perform this song since it sounds relaxing and calm to the soul.

- Darkness My Sorrow (By: Kishō Taniyama)

I guess this is pretty obvious, if you have listened to Darkness My Sorrow then you will know why I chose it for Afterglow. Kishō Taniyama who is Chūya Nakahara’s voice actor sung his character song which references the author’s poems, anyway since this song sounds really powerful and has really strong vocals. I bet it would suit Afterglow’s genre if music, especially Ran singing all those notes in the song. If there are some of you guys who don’t know Kishō Taniyama, he is actually a vocalist in the band of GRANRODEO and lots of people love how he sings which is why I picked Darkness My Sorrow for Afterglow since Ran’s voice sounds really good.

3. Pastel Palettes

- Eien Misui ni Goodbye (By: Mamoru Miyano)

Since they did a Secret Base cover for Anohana which is the ending theme of the anime, I have been told numerous times that the anime is really heartbreaking and sad. Which is why the ending theme is really soothing to hear and suits the soft song and pop genre of Pastel Palettes. Eien Misui ni Goodbye (Goodbye to an attempt on Eternity), it has a really soft and cheerful vibe but with depressing lyrics which suits Dazai’s character for being an eccentric character that hides his heavy burden that he carries around and believes he won’t fulfill. I think it would Pastel Palettes even though they are a cheerful and idol group but my reason for this is because they did Secret Base and the cheerful tone.

- Bokura (By: Luck Life)

This is the ending theme of the movie Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and it also sounds calm yet sad. Even though I have not watched the movie, it feels like something sad happened in the end which is why the song just sounds melancholic or something like that. I am very uncreative when it comes to these kind of opinions, I’m not sure which would Pastel Palettes would perform because both of my song options sound sad for an idol band.

4. Roselia

- Deadly Drive (By: GRANRODEO)

Alright, I have been waiting to write down all my opinions for this because whenever I hear Deadly Drive, I get a feeling that Roselia will be able to give a good cover of this song because of Kishō Taniyama’s strong and powerful voice which I imagine Yukina can sing it as well. I have plenty of reasons to list down why I want Roselia to perform this cover other than the fact it’s my favorite band out of all in BanG Dream. First of all, Yukina has a really powerful voice and sounds like a professional which is why Roselia is one in the first place. Second, Roselia has performed a lot of songs similar to this type of genre, (Black Shout, Louder, and R) including their covers (example: Guren no Yumiya,). And last, GRANRODEO is popular for their rock genre and professional performances in plenty animes, so I think that Roselia will pull it off. Especially the introduction of the song until the end. So, I would be really happy if Roselia would be performing a cover for this song.

5. Hello! Happy World!

- Shoujikimono no Ryuuji (By: Hiroyuki Kagura)

Probably the most obvious choice I made out of all the band. Since we know the theme of Hello Happy World which the band name implies it itself, that the goal is to make everyone smile. I can totally imagine Kokoro singing in her usual cutesy voice like how Kenji’s voice actor sang it. Since Kenji is a positive person like Kokoro, and his voice sounds enthusiastic like her. It gives a cutesy and cheerful vibe when you listen to it, especially the lyrics show how Kenji is still new to the city. I guess if you listened to the song, it will self-explained once you read the lyrics and heard it.

#bungou stray dogs #anime #bandori #bang dream!#dazai osamu #nakahara chuuya #roselia #hello happy world #blogger #just my opinions #blogging #afterglow #pastel palettes #poppin party #bsd #songs

5 notes · View notes