#snaps spine

[dyinghomoerotically]

One of the (many) things I love about Xie Lian is how artfully he combines old man and babygirl. I would give examples, but I don’t think I need to. We all know

#tgcf #tian guan ci fu #xie lian #in modern era #he would have a Nokia #use ‘the’ before social media names #and post cringy quotes on Facebook #but it would take absolutely forever for Hua Cheng to explain to him how Facebook works #and at the same time. #he’s so 🥰✨💞🌸🥺💅 #you know? #also the fact that he’s soooo nice #but could snap your spine so quick and easy #truly the man ever #and damn I said I wouldn’t elaborate and did anyway

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Who will deal the most damage?

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #lan wangji #yu ziyuan #poll #Please note this is not a 'who would win in a battle if they fought each other'. #This is a 'who would be the scariest person to see on the other side of fighting ring.' #Yu Ziyuan knows how to do the bend and snap (a spine). #Lan Wangji has 20+ years of biting and scratching stored in his bones. #I missed the opportunity to give YZY sandals in pd-MDZS so I could properly say 'Yu Ziyuan con la chancla'. #However she's most likely wielding a heeled designer shoes. Steel tipped in the front and back. #As always there will be a follow up to the results of this poll. Who knows what that will be! #(I did make a 'bloodied up' version - but I didn't like it as much. Take this version as them *just before* they start the bloodshed.) #I'll post the alt on my twitter later on. For the fun!

[wickjump]

I think the sliding scale of how much they’ve changed from classic sans is a really fascinating way of characterising the bad sanses but I need to know, in your opinion, do they all still think whoopee cushions are funny?

here is what their reactions would be in my opinion under the assumption this is meant to be a bit more fanon than canon:

killer fucking cackles. it’s like he’s never seen anything funnier in his LIFE. it’s more killer laughing than sans laughing honestly, but hey it’s a laugh.

horror cracks a smile. he hasn’t used a whoopee cushion in ages. now he probably uses thumbtacks (they actually really hurt), but they don’t work with literally anyone in the castle because they are made of bones. he’ll get back to the whoopee cushion stage eventually

dust does one of those breathy chuckles that turns into full blown laughter. he hunches over because he can’t breathe. he still does not stop laughing.

#dust sans #killer sans #horror sans #murder time trio #love those guys #in canon horror wouldnt find as much humor in it as he once did imo #he might laugh depending on whos the victim and how stable he is #dust would stay silent and emo and shit #imagining his hallucination brother berating him for ever once finding humor in it #so he’s quiet #killer would laugh though #he’s always the culprit #nightmare threatened to snap his spine in half if he used those damn things again #so he doesn’t :( #no more whoopee cushions sad #bad sanses

[wildechildwrites]

Lucky Charms

Looney Tunes Part Two

Konig/Reader

Word Count: 1.4k

No use of Y/N

Summary: You have some more encounters with König, the mysterious man who lives in your apartment building.

A/N: König being unintentionally terrifying is so funny. He’s shy and he’s a giant murderer for hire, excuse him for constantly throwing off the vibe. Let me know if you want to be tagged in part three!

AO3 Link: Looney Tunes

You've got bags of groceries hanging from your arms, pinching at your skin, precariously balanced, a white knuckle grip on the laundry detergent that's determined to slip through your fingers before you reach your apartment. The man steps on the elevator with you, and you can feel your face heating up as he looks at you.

You haven't seen him since the night he'd kissed you, and you wondered if he thought of you everytime he rode the elevator. You certainly thought of him.

He makes no effort to disguise his staring, looking down at you with a flat expression, taking in your overflowing arms.

"I hate making more than one trip to my car," you say, answering the question he didn’t ask, shrugging as much as you can with your arms full. You swear you see his eyebrow twitch.

Amusement? Irritation? It's impossible to read him. Instead, you drop your gaze, feeling his eyes still on you.

"My name is König." He says abruptly. Your eyes jump back up to his face, and it's his turn to look away as you grin, introducing yourself.

When you go to get off the elevator, he plucks the detergent out of your hand, gesturing silently for some of the bags you carry. He follows you to your apartment soundlessly, placing the bags down outside of your door. You throw your 'thank you' at his retreating form, and he doesn't acknowledge it.

Later, when you're putting away your groceries, you say his name out loud, tasting it on your tongue.

One of the lights in the parking garage is flickering again, and you sigh in annoyance as you look up at it. The apartment complex took months to fix the last broken bulb, so you’re unenthusiastic about the prospects of a quick repair. It puts you on edge, affecting the visibility and giving the garage an eerie feeling.

“It’s just like a horror movie,” you mumble to yourself, attempting to break the tension you feel as you head towards the exit. It’s late, your workday running longer than it should’ve, and you can’t help the itch of anxiety crawling up your spine.

You pass an unfamiliar man, standing still in between some of the cars. His eyes are on you, and you grip your keys tighter in your hand, speeding up. You hazard a glance over your shoulder and find he's disappeared, and your eyes search the parking lot behind you.

Distracted as you are, unfocused on where you're going, you slam straight into a solid wall of a person. You let out a shriek, head whipping back around and nearly fall backwards as you attempt to scramble away. Two solid hands firmly grip your shoulders, preventing you from tripping. König is standing in front of you, and you sag against his hold in relief.

“You scared me!” you exclaim, a hand going up reflexively to your chest.

“You should be more cautious, häschen,” König responds, and you swear there’s the faintest trace of a smile on his face, the subtle quirk of scarred lips. “Most people look where they are walking to, not where they are walking from.”

You let out a sigh and roll your eyes with a smile, the anxiety seeping out of your body. “The stupid flickering light really freaked me out,” you say, gesturing at the ceiling. “And then there was a man staring at me, but he disappeared.” König nods thoughtfully. His hands are still on your shoulders, and there’s a beat as you both stare at each other.

König clears his throat. “I will speak to the complex maintenance about repairing the light. As for your mystery friend–” König pulls back and slides one finger across his throat. You laugh at the joke, even though he’s not smiling.

König insists on walking you back to your apartment despite your objections, and although you know you were just being silly, you’re touched by the gesture.

“Thank you, König,” you say, lingering in the doorway, and something in his eyes seems to sharpen when you say his name.

You're eating cereal on your couch, watching cartoons when you should be sleeping. It's a childish habit, but after a long day, you're feeling sentimental and too burnt out to process anything with substance. Scrolling through your phone, half paying attention, you almost miss the soft knock on your front door.

König is standing outside, his face obscured by something that looks like an executioner's hood. The gear he's wearing makes him seem even more massive, a mountain of a man standing in front of you.

"May I come in?" He asks, his accented voice low, and you're so caught off guard by the request that your jaw drops.

König stares at you and you stare back, contemplating the matter.

You probably shouldn't let him in, this hulking monster in a mask. You don't even know him really, only interacting a couple of times. He's kissed you, and it was a knee buckling, eye rolling kiss, but does that necessarily grant him access to your apartment?

Your logistical side loses when he lets out a sigh, a huff of air that borders on a whine. You step aside, waving him to the couch as you go to the kitchen to grab another bowl of cereal for him. You want to know why he's here unannounced, but you're unwilling to disturb the delicate balance between the two of you, so you say nothing. He pulls off the mask, eyes on the TV.

“Looney Tunes?” he asks, his voice amused. Daffy Duck lets out a shriek in the silence between you two, and you snort.

“Call it a guilty pleasure,” you reply. König’s eyebrow twitches. You offer him the bowl, and his large fingers brush against yours, shockingly warm and rough. His eyes seem to glint at the contact, an almost avian intensity that makes your skin flush.

You sit down a measured distance away from him, and go back to eating your cereal, attempting to display a level of casual that you do not feel. König seems unaffected, sprawled on your couch, crunching away like he does this every night. He's got his boots on still, tacky with a dark liquid you think could be blood.

"Uh… not that I don't appreciate the company…" you begin after a beat of silence, turning to face him. It's the first time you've seen him really smile, and a part of you is unsure if you like it, the almost predatory glint of teeth.

"I just wanted to see if you'd invite me in." He responds to your unspoken question, his voice rumbling deep from his chest, and there's a sharp edge to his words that make the hairs on the back of your neck prickle.

There's a beat, and your expression must tip him off to your discomfort because his eyes widen.

"I didn't mean– I am sorry I misspoke– sometimes my translations are–" he's stammering, and you instantly relax, feeling guilty for your involuntary reaction.

"No! No it's okay I was just… surprised. I'm glad for the company" You say in a rush, your voice unnaturally high. "You're always welcome to come over."

He smiles again, softer than before. His eyes haven't quite lost the cutting focus, but you smile back, relaxing a little as he takes another bite of cereal. You fall back into companionable silence.

It's late, and you're starting to fade, eyes drooping, curled up into yourself. König hasn't moved from his post on the end of your couch, his empty bowl still cupped in one hand, and you drowsily wonder if it's a military habit, the way he sits with perfect stillness. You stifle a yawn, and he glances over at you without moving his head.

"It's getting late," he says quietly. You watch as he rises in one fluid motion, large strides leading him with a seemingly practiced familiarity to your kitchen. He places his dish in the sink and reaches for the soap. You sit up.

"It's alright, I'll wash the dishes tomorrow," you call out, wiping your eyes, and he nods. You stand as he heads towards the door, your legs slightly unsteady.

"Thank you for the cereal," he says quietly, a hand on the doorknob. You think there is a light dusting of pink around his ears, but it's too dark to really tell.

You smile at him. "You're welcome."

König pauses, turning towards you.

You idly wonder if he'll kiss you again. He looks down at you with an inscrutable expression, bringing a large hand slowly up to your face, the ghost of his fingertips skimming your jaw. You let out an involuntary gasp at the contact, your skin electrified, and he drops his hand.

He opens the door, and you notice his fingers are still curled, as if he's cupping the sensation of your skin against his, holding it in his palm.

"Good night little rabbit," König whispers, a silhouette in your doorway. "Catch you later."

○○○●●●○○○●●●○○○

Taglist:

All for you @whos-fran my beloved (the first person to ever ask to be tagged)

If anyone else would like to be on the taglist for part three reply or reblog this post :)

#pls pick up what I'm putting down with catch you later we all know he didnt just seamlessly insert an american phrase into his vernacular #konig/reader #konig cod #konig x reader #konig x you #cod mw2 #cod x reader #konig: do you need me to kill that guy for you? because I'll snap his fucking spine under my boot no hesitation #reader: hehe youre so funny #also I wrote a much darker version of this that I might publish later but some of you make him so mean and it makes me sad #I'm unhappy with how it came out but maybe if I keep writing one day it won't suck

[sexhaver]

not to romanticize Dubya, but if someone threw a shoe at Genocide Joe, not only would he not be able to dodge it, it would stand a realistic chance of killing him depending on where it hits

#or he tries to dodge it and his spine just snaps in half

[callsignvoid]

i think keegan has really crackly joints (lowkey projecting rn)

and he likes to pop em all in one go and Everyone Hates it

keegan after having been idle for too long: [*popping his joints, knuckles, back, etc*]

the rest of the ghosts:

#cod #call of duty #call of duty ghosts #cod keegan #keegan p russ #sometimes after sitting down for a while he'd stand up and use the nearest wall/surface as leverage and pop his back #its very loud and very visceral and everyone is convinced he's going to snap his spine one day #i've been thinking a lot about mundane ass shit for keegan because he is on the mind #it's like an npc idle movement #he just cracks all his bones like a fucking glowstick #echoing_abyss

[keliatach]

I'm about to cry picturing this poor, emaciated man who's just been thrown into another Awful Fucking Pit containing a Murderous Creature holding hands with himself because he's so happy to have the (correct) voice in his head back. This is just so asdkljfaeirut--

... yeah ok I should've expected that.

#malevolent #malevolent podcast #malevolent spoilers #ep 24-25 #my heart is breaking inside #arthur's projecting onto larson so hard right now #that boy needs therapy #and a sandwich #the emotional whiplash snapped my spine

[stewykablooey]

the tone. of tom’s voice when he says ‘shiv. shiv. you sound a little unhinged’. hmm. hmmmmmm. i think the finale should be 1hr30min of him being skinned alive.

#literally sent chills up my spine i will snap your neck pig man!!!!!! #this isnt even in shivs defense im sorry bestie this was an assault on Me #succession #succession spoilers #succession lb #m

[bonebabbles]

Snake Gets Done Dirty

Remember, Clear Sky can NEVER have a consequence for his actions. Ever. If you're ever mad at him for any reason, YOU will be punished for being upset. Clear Sky is allowed to do anything he wants to you but if you don't start slurping you're the Real Bad Guy.

Snake: "FUCK YOU! YOU'RE THE REASON WHY THIS HAPPENED"

Clear Sky: "uhhh... well..... oopsie uwu"

Snake:

But don't worry, Snake is punished for the high crime of embarrassing Clear Sky by being dogpiled by the Clap At Baby Crowd.

Because, AGAIN, god forbid Clear Sky ever suffer a consequence of his actions.

WHY ARE YOU BOOING HIM, HE'S RIGHT

Clear Sky poses this dumb speech about fighting One Eye like it's some big, beautiful, selfless act of service. He was ALWAYS going to do this-- HE WANTS HIS AUTHORITY BACK. He's ALWAYS been an ambitious asshole who hates taking orders from other people, and will clobber anyone who embarrasses him or offends his massive ego.

He's been like this since SUN TRAIL. He's ALWAYS been controlling and fragile with a hunger for power. There has NEVER been a version of Clear Sky that wouldn't have wanted to kill One Eye for taking his toys away, humiliating him publicly.

His piss-poor judgement has gotten DOZENS of people killed in pointless border skirmishes, in the First Battle, and now AGAIN to this tyrant. He had a fit like a child when people tried to warn him it was a bad idea, and he didn't listen!

Snake is the first cat who's done anything about it at this point. The only one who doesn't immediately cave and forgive him after Clear Sky puts on a display of crocodile tears. It's LONG overdue!

And yet, all these cats still gather around to come to his aid. They have NO reason to do this. Clear Sky has proven, OVER AND OVER, that he should NOT HAVE ANY AUTHORITY OVER PEOPLE. These cats have NO reason to trust him, they've all been screamed at, smacked around, and buried mauled loved ones because of him.

They've seen, at most, a month of two of peace under him following the greatest massacre in history, broken by yet ANOTHER bad call.

Writer's pet! Some guy on the writing team ABSOLUTELY projects themselves onto Clear Sky as some kind of power fantasy. There's no other explanation for this level of utter ineptitude.

#Snake dotc #gif #dotc hate #it's ok that snake has bad judgement with slash later I forgive him #quite frankly I think they did it on purpose so it would make snake less justified in hindsight #Same way they made One Eye Born Evil so he'd make Clear Sky look less bad in comparison #Because this arc snaps its spine bending over backwards for this awful character #Ties itself in knots like a pretzel

[link-is-a-dork]

#Legend of Zelda Series #breath of the wild #link #botw link #nintendo #nintendo switch #gif #liad post #hero of the wild #flashing lights #he snapped his spine in at least two places #liad.txt #2024

[pennamepersona]

trilogy era wrightworth really is two people trading off singing won't say i'm in love

#ace attorney #aa #wrightworth #narumitsu #pw aa #obvi it's miles first #but in the second game it's very very solidly phoenix #esp farewell my turnabout #t&t is a duet of 'at least out loud i won't say.....' #maya is the main voice of the chorus and she just gets steadily more fed up #by the end she's ready to snap both of their spines if she has to hear another backpedal #haha why would i be in love with him that's absurd #oh really nick. that's funny miles. where have i heard that before.

[americankimchi]

me and the rancor staring at each other after he two-shot me on my first attempt like

#liveblogging #liveblogging jedi survivor #aint even have a chance to heal. mans slammed down on me so hard my spine snapped in two

[katanasspirits]

Mom said its my turn to do a screencap redraw of the babygirl

#trigun #trigun stampede #vash #vash the stampede #screenshot redraw #screencap redraw #episode 11 was downright traumatizing to watch #and episode 12 i was to busy drooling over how pretty this motherfucker is to even remember that it happened #trying to build up the courage to rewatch the whole thing again but episode 11 is sitting there #taunting me #like #bitch fuck off #im gonna snap knive's spine in half for that #shouldnt be that hard considering hes mostly bones rn honestly

[dinanikto]

You know what? Your fem!Heavy is looking pretty! Such a wonderful woman.

But can I make a suggestion? Could you add more fat to her? No-no, dont just make her wide, add the fat rolls. And don't forget about the tummy and the spine too!

Gorgeous. Now, could you make her biceps larger? Yeah, like the size of her head, exactly.

Wow, looking good! Can you also give her bald spots? No? Well, maybe make her bald, at least. Then it'll look like she just shaved it off! Will it make you feel better? Good, good.

Okay next, draw her legs shorter and torso longer. I know, I know, she is a woman. But sometimes girls can look just like boys. Yes, I know, the humanity is beautiful!

You've drawn such a beautiful creature, a woman to marvel at. Great job!

#gently yelling all of these words at myself #tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 heavy #heavy tf2 #I want to see more of fem Heavy. I want to believe she could actually pick me up and snap my spine

[spaghettiandart]

something silly and casual while I take a break after finals

#the wiplash between constant stress every day and being able to relax is enough to snap my spine #fnaf #vanessa #fnaf vanessa #vanessa fnaf #glitchtrap #fanart #my art #just some silly stuff with this new pen i like #i wanted to try a simpler art style

[galaxywarp]

just once I need to be dramatically thrown against a wall in an epic fight and crumble to the floor and have to claw my way back to my feet while glaring up at my opponent. it would fix me I think

#why is the only example I can think of rn when Lars dies #the impact is right but snapping my spine in half is a little extreme #I just need like a little trail of blood from my mouth. u know the one