#so i found a place to move

[jomeimei421]

Felt a bit nostalgic watching RT shut down…Here are the og faves again for old times sake 💙

#rvb #agent washington #agent Carolina #lavernius tucker #michael j caboose #epsilon #my art rvb #ahhh a lot of feelings…of course I stepped away from rt as a company a long time ago #but RvB is special to me!! it was my first fandom experience ever #and the community here on tumblr specifically was so instrumental to me growing up #I really could not have asked for a better community of artists and writers to grow up in. I know it sounds like platitudes when I say #that everyone was super nice and talented but REALLY. People were so kind to me and somehow I became well known despite #my art and writing and me in general still being immature and hashtag cringe #I found my creative legs and #people would respond to my stuff with walls and walls of support in the tags and we would do exchanges and events every year #I made my first lyric comic and it’s still doing extremely well on YouTube even today!! my dad who passed away recently always loved it #and my favorite RvB writer came out of hibernation to write me a bunch of text wall asks about it #I’ve never had another fandom experience quite like RvB #I still keep in touch with many of my friends from that time period even though we’ve all moved on the other things #these guys will always always have a place in my heart #so long reds and blues….

[autisticlancemcclain]

Could you explain your position on Shallura? Since Allura was established as a teenager when she started dating Lance and Shiro was very clearly an adult. I can understand the bi shiro headcannon but the shallura thing worries me

i am going to remind yall that i have been in this fandom since 2016. and in the early seasons, allura was not established as a teenager. in fact she was coded as older, as closer to shiro's age -- there was a specific divide between her and the younger paladins that she did not have with shiro. they made her younger (both explicitly and in mannerisms) as the show went on. and i do not give a fuck about voltron like...post s4 and i didn't even watch s7-8. so like. especially with older fics, im going to enjoy shallura.

#also this is less relevant and i was going to put it in the main post but i cant find the words for it #but i found your last sentence kind of condescending. “the shallura thing worries me” as if i am your little project and things arent going #to plan. as if you are the Knower Of All Things and i am straying from my path lol. twas odd #and this is a controversial thing to say i know it but like #we take fandom way too seriously. if someone decides in fic to make two characters the same age to ship them or whatever. do we really need #to get the torches and pitchforks. like i can understand discomfort when people ship like shiro and pidge or something but. also. i feel #like you can just block and move on?? like i dont ship sheith bc they are brothers. to me. but also i dont think sheithers should be #harassed or any dumb shit like that. i think its so so whatever like theyre Lines man theyre moving lines #at the same time i understand that peoples headcanons can be reflective of their worldviews (like when racism/transphobia/sexism shine #through someone's headcanons/characterization) but how much scrutiny is too much? when do we get to remember that fandom is a place to #work with the FICTIONAL? where you can change details without consequence? i saw a fic where keith was the older sibling and shiro was the #younger once. it was a good fic. how come we can play with ages but only when the Fandom Council approves? #i guess this is a really long and clumsy way to say like. you do not own the fandom nor do you get to dictate my work. and while there #is always room for necessary criticism please also think critically before you post your criticism #anyways #rant #ask

[kyngsnake]

Hey y’all. Shiny new commission sheet for the shiny new year! Thank you to everybody who’s supported my artwork throughout 2023, whether that be by commissioning me or just interacting with my content. This year’s been a long one between family members passing, others family members becoming ill, and moving across the country in the middle of it all. Having a welcoming community to come back to amidst all the chaos made a huge difference, and still does. Throughout this year my art’s grown a lot with me, I’m happy to have folks to share that with.

Starting out with 10 slots. Additional info [TOS, Pricing, etc] under the cut.

9/10

Y’all are more than welcome to DM me with any questions that may not be addressed in this post, I’m happy to clarify and discuss anything you’re not sure about. There will be a brief consultation prior to starting work on a commission for me to collect any info and/or references I may need.

Payment is taken up front through PayPal, CashApp or Zelle. Commission slots are first come, first serve. Once I start work on a commission, you’ll receive updates in stages [sketch, lineart, flat colors, shading, final check] so as to give plenty of opportunities for corrections or reasonable changes. Estimated wait times will be given during initial consultation.

#not to be corny but im really grateful for the community ive found myself in #moving into my own place in a month and i currently have 1 comm left in queue so! #im going to have a lot of time and availability for commission work :3 #art commissions #artists on tumblr #comm info tag #i updated my sheet but didnt wanna keep reusing the exact same formatting #new color palette so it's fresh on the eyeballs

[nostalgic-muffins]

thirteen x mc x satan double tap now if you

#please i cant get them outta my head :( #pleasge its so weird but i think theyd be neat HEAR ME OUT PLEASE #they move into their first place together. bam. immediately they have three cats #yes its a complete coincidence satan found them while walking home! no he didnt stop by the shelter! #thats absurd. complete insanity even #they cuddle and kiss every night WILL YOU LET ME FINISH #pleaseeeeeeee #obey me satan #obey me thirteen #obey me mc #obey me

[aimseytv]

hey aimsey i realize your lore is done and no vol2 and such but i just wanted to say thank you for the story you did tell. i was so grateful to see more of bearsmp, i loved the love your character had for others, i loved the themes of forgiveness and moving forward and grief, i love the way you told a story so much. I love the themes of being haunted (by ghosts, by memories, by the past, by guilt). c!Aimsey the world :,) hope youre doing well!

c!aimsey is so tragically yet so beautifully human. even though they have been haunted their entire life, they never fed into the cycle of violence, because despite everything she wanted to live. through heart break, abandonment, grief and even death she remained true to her intentions which is something i’ll always love about the character itself. to have someone with the ability to portray grief so honestly was such a big thing i wanted to ensure i did based on the fact it’s one of the things i never see usually in media and i wanted a way for people to see the way c!aimsey grieves and notice that it is okay. it can take weeks, months, years and you can think you’re over it but have a day where you just can’t stop crying over what you once had - and that’s okay. c!aimsey belongs to you. you are her, as much as she is you. you love her, just as much as she loves you. despite everything, she tries and you can too.

#asksey #people like to ask me what i think she is up to now she left #id like to think she found a little cottage in the middle of nowhere to finally call home #that was the thing they always wanted #and when moving in she placed the little pink tulip in a pot beside her bed #so that every morning and every night she would be reminded of the person she once loved #and the person she misses the most #but so guqqie is always with her #because aimsey is living for the both of them now #and despite everything #aimsey is happy #mcyt rp

[squeakadeeks]

moodboard for this past week ❤️

#they should invent a grad school thats not fucking insane #i'm hanging in there but im the most unwell i've been in AWhile #this week was just horrible #there was already the freezer food incident but it also started off with a very severe pain episode thats putting me in constant woe #even mundane motion has been agonizing which is McAwesome bc we had a lab inspection which involved moving hundreds of pounds of equipment #during which we found a blackwidow and rats which we had to deal with and was a whole thing psychologically on top of the physical toll #the new class fiasco is still popping off and i had to respond to at this point over 400 emails in the fleeting moments outside of lab #AND A STUDENT TRIED TO FINANCIALLY BRIBE THEIR WAY INTO THE CLASS ? ?? ?? ????? #then the instructor wanted to use me as a guinea pig and i had to test new circuit boards but I wasnt given any time to do so properly #i had to test them plus get them operational and deal with my incoming students all in a frantic 10 minute window #im in charge of running our meetings too but the instructor was interrupting and having side conversations that made it really hard- #to train the other people on the new equipment in a smooth manner #which meant that a bunch of people had to keep me after to ask questions which made me late for my drs appointment #where i found out i cant get the new covid vaccine bc my heart and blood levels arnt stable enough #and joanns lost an expensive+critical fabric order of mine+i had to give a big presentation this week on my research that was stressful #and my inbox is still blowing up from being needed all over the place between teaching lab and classes and yall i am. so so tired. #im in so much pain and so stressed out #debating the ethics of turning into a pile of lint to escape my responsibilities and mortal frame

[fatehbaz]

.

#thinking of dinosaurs and troodontids were my favorite dinosaurs as a child #when younger i had a real full troodontid tooth fossil that meant a lot to me #for a time we lived within a few kilometers of hadrosaur sites and troodontid sites #while wider general area had many sites of recovery for the big celebrities like tyrannosaur and multiple dromaeosaurs #at that time troodontids were kinda infamous for i think the depiction in some childrens field guides and dino books #which depicted like a fantasy speculative humanoid troodontid based on 1980s model at Canadian Museum of Nature in ottawa #anyway would visit a small local paleo center a lot and woman in her 70s or 80s ran the counter of their center and rock shop #one day she asked me what my fave dino was and i said troodon so she pulled out the tooth and just gifted it to me #in little black case size of ring box with padding and transparent plastic viewing cover kinda like laminate for displaying a trading card #tooth got stolen from out my vehicle while giving some people a ride while at university before i got too poor for tuition #later during first year of pandemic owner of my storage unit died and new property owners threw away everything i ever owned #i was homeless anyway lost job due to early pandemic closures and had to allocate any money to insulin and other prescrip meds #but wouldve found a way to save my things if the new owners had contacted me #they threw out photoalbums y backpacking gear y books y musical instruments y clothes y artwork y camera y all family keepsakes #and all childhood treasures like souvenirs and gifts and school awards and writing portfolios and all the little memories #which i was always sentimental about as child #from earliest age my room looked like a natural history museum with plants and maps and library of field guides #and rocks and field trip keepsakes and all kinds of little animal figurines and mother had painted room in forest greens and browns #to feel like a forest and among the succulent plants and a globe sat the troodon tooth #parents passed when i was a child #never near any family and were always moving never got to settle into proper stable place then father passed after long sad illness #and mother put in so much effort but she passed few years later and i could not take care of myself or my remaining material possessions #and so im still quite hurt having nothing whatsoever remaining of my childhood or school friends or mother or life generally #and when trying to process grief my thoughts often come back to the troodontid tooth as a focal point a distillation of what was lost #even when young i knew it was advised not to become too connected to material physical possessions #but still there are some small little trinkets in our lives that seem to hold so much meaning and i tortured myself for losing that tooth #thinking about troodon reminds me of childhood

[gojous-adderall]

About Noé's latest neurodivergent adventures (chapter 61.5 and 62)

(things I found relatable)

1. PUTTING UR HAND UP BC U CANT FIGURE OUT WHEN TO SPEAK. EVERYONE THINKS UR WEIRD FOR IT BUT ITS POLITE AND LIFE IS FUCKING HARD

2. Struggling to follow conversation, and seeing clearer ways of communication that no one else can and getting frustrated that the neurotypicals are so obviously communicating poorly

3. Vanitas designated translator

4. Being quite blind to politics (when it comes to discrimination against himself as a vampire [and his PRIVILEGES as a vampire] and in this case against others like dhams) bc he works individual by individual instead of by social categories

5. Last of all it hurts to see the other characters calling him ignorant and an idiot all the time bc Ive been there. He's booksmart, he's intelligent, just not socially, but here is everyone writing him off as dumb just bc he's different.

Its not like he's ignorant on purpose. Of course it's important to know this shit he's learning now, and it can be done, but it's a lot harder when ur autistic and, as Vanitas said, when u grow up so isolated. Learning is a neverending process and Noé is very clearly learning and just bc he works differently like putting his hand up to speak or interpreting the world differently doesn't mean he's stupid

#istg im not getting mad at fictional characters it just hits hard for me lmao #i actually grew up in a small very conservative town where it was unsafe to be queer #and i had so much learning to do when i moved to the capital and im so much happier now #but it was especially hard to figure this shit out when ur gullible and confused #i always had a nagging feeling that my peers denying others human rights was wrong but whenever i tried to object i would be mocked #like the inkling was there there were just no alternatives around me to the bigotry #until i found a place where my sense of justice could flourish #socialising is still hard but the politics side has improved so much and will continue improving #srry for ranting just wanted to share my personal experiences where relevant #autism #adhd #noé archiviste #the case study of vanitas #vanitas no carte #vnc #autistic noé #autistic noé archiviste

[ante--meridiem]

.

#former creepy landlord found another way to try to contact me #blocked him there too but it does freak me out a tiny bit that he's still trying #he would *absolutely* have shown up at my new place if I'd given him any hint of the address when he insisted #I'm. reasonably sure he'll run out of avenues to try before he actually finds me #i don't think there's anyone he can ask for my new address who'd know it #I guess he might try showing up at my university building again but it's a big building with lots of people so I should be able to dodge him #or at least make it so he'd have to make a scene to talk to me #....I also left my bike at the old place bc I moved in winter & it was too icy to take it #& have been avoiding going back for it due to risk of running into him #had just started to consider just going for it at a time he's usually at work but this freaked me out enough to reconsider that #The Landlord Situation #if you are annoyed that that is still a tag I have use for: #trust me I'm even more so

[stardustedknuckles]

It would just be so easy for Steel to start behaving overtly controlling and War-minded at literally any point (seeking control and owning up to what that means) and at that point it would become easy to dislike her and her sway over Suvi but that's not the POINT, she is GENUINELY wise and so, so brilliant and she loves Suvi so truly and she is infuriatingly level headed and sincere in her efforts to help and so very kind, and I love her character more than I can adequately put into words and the inevitable clash of ideals, the rift that will and must develop, is going to destroy me. Because I genuinely don't know if Steel could choose Suvi over the empire and in fact I think it's pretty clear that she wouldn't, but that does not diminish the love she has for Suvi and the two things being true simultaneously have me biting the air. Steel is a goddamn masterclass in examining characters who act from fundamentally kind intent within a twisted framework of lifelong indoctrination and beliefs that have taught her a distorted view of what that should look like. Bringing the empire's light to the world is the ultimate kindness to her, and she wants nothing more than to be a key part of the mechanism by which that will happen. Because it will happen. And we're not told this, we're shown a brilliant and devoted mother figure who will stop at nothing to make a better world in the image of the empire her life belongs to.

Every single time something goes wrong with Ame and/or Eursulon (and even Suvi) I brace for the kind of overbearing "us VS them" mentality that never comes. She genuinely wants collaboration and answers so she can help. she very much means well, as do they all. It compels the absolute hell out of me.

#I want steel to come with Suvi on this eventual journey #But she has been installed as the very right arm of the establishment #And though she more than most wizards would hear out the turmoil the empire's existence is causing others #There is no future where its dissolution is something she agrees to #If not dissolution is the empire itself the removal of its place of authority #She means so well to be balanced and fair but she will be blind to the inherent threat and imbalance going on here #And it's very likely nothing will move her #So basically I'm setting myself up for abject heartbreak but I love her so much #wbn spoilers #Wbn #suvirin kedberiket #The wizard steel #Steel wbn #I'm learning I might be a tragedy enjoyed #I never thought that was possible bc I found tragedies depressing for no reason #But what I'm starting to see is that the efforts are what make the tragedy hit the way it does #It only matters because everyone cared so much #Everyone was doing their best #It was inevitable it could have been avoided at so many points but everyone cared too much #Ugh god okay sleep time

[thedreadvampy]

My housemate is moving out in January

She told us this a week or two ago, when she sat down and, after sitting with us watching TV for over an hour, said "hey so I bought a house and I'm moving out. We agreed on 2 months notice so I won't move until the end of January."

The last time she talked in the immediate terms about buying a house was in 2021, when the sale she was working on fell though and she was unemployed so it was a "when I'm back in a position to look I'll start looking again." Since then I've occasionally asked her how she's doing on the house buying front and she's been like "oh I'm getting there financially" but hasn't mentioned anything concrete.

She didn't tell us she was looking at places. She didn't tell us she had put in an offer. She told us when the offer was finalised. A week AFTER she emailed the letting agent about getting out of her part of the lease. And, it increasingly feels like, only because the letting agent's response was that we had to agree to change the lease.

The letting agent's response (which our housemate obviously didn't copy us into; we had to follow up separately and they copied us into the email chain) also includes that when we change the lease, they're empowered to change the rent, quote, "no cap". Rent was already going up in January - there's no possibility of Sam and I paying her share of the rent.

The really fucking upsetting thing is we're not strangers. This isn't a casual "housemate we found on flatshare" thing. She and Sam have lived together literally their entire adult lives. Me and her have known each other well over a decade. I lived in her and Sam's flat when I was homeless. We were the first people she came out to as trans. We're not super close but I thought we were fucking friends. And she's literally gone out of her way to not talk to us about this for what must have been months while the sale completed - which means she's lied to my face at least once cause I've asked her about her finances in that time (cause she's in a job she hates that she only took to get the house money, so it's like. when we've been commiserating about work stuff I'm often asking 'are you almost free?'). she literally went out of her way to talk to the letting agents before talking to us about putting us in a situation where we could lose our fucking home.

And she keeps. trying. to pretend nothing's happened. Every time I've seen her since then she's not mentioned anything or apologised or anything, she just keeps chatting away and offering hugs and fistbumps like nothing's happened. Like we're still fucking friends.

All it would take for us to still be friends and to be happy for her would have been one fucking sentence in the groupchat like "hey, just put an offer in on a house" or "I'm looking at properties, just so you know, that might happen in the next few months". Like nobody begrudges her for buying a house! It's very cool for her! She's 31 she's worked really hard to get the money I would love to be happy for her! Unfortunately she decided avoiding conflict is more important than giving the people she fucking LIVES WITH (who btw fronted her a month on the rent here while she was unemployed and agreed to take on a larger proportion of the move-in cost back in 2021, if we're still holding ourselves to shit we said 2.5 years ago), so no, you are not entitled to our friendship or to going back to normal.

like if she'd been honest with us it would have been something to process but we'd have had time to figure out our next steps. instead she's left us in a position where we have to find a new roommate before she gives her one month notice, which means finding someone by the end of December, which oh look that's the middle of the fucking Christmas holidays. and she didn't tell us anything until the START of December, or copy us into her conversation with the letting agent, meaning we still don't know what the rent on that space will be so we aren't yet in a position to advertise it. Has she offered to help find a roommate? Has she fuck. Has she offered to help out by moving her move-out date? Nah, she's moving as soon as she gets the keys because, quote, "that means her finances won't have to change". SOUNDS LOVELY. NOT HAVING YOUR FINANCES SUDDENLY CHANGE. I THINK THAT SOUNDS LIKE A REALLY REASONABLE FUCKING GOAL.

Thirteen fucking years she's lived with Sam. Four fucking weeks over Christmas she's left us to figure out a way to not turbofuck our living situation. And she's got the fucking nerve to try and pretend we should be interacting like nothing's changed. Jesus Christ. What a fucking unhinged way to treat...anybody, honestly. never mind the friends-your-entire-adult-life part. literally cannot imagine a scenario in which I would buy a house without telling the people I lived with.

(haha actually this is what my parents divorced over so apparently it's not unusual. although at least my dad had the decency to tell the woman he shared finances with at the point he put in an offer not the point the fucking sale went through.)

Like we'll be fine. It's a huge city centre flat with decent rent and queer housemates, hopefully even when the rent goes up it'll be an easy sell in a city with a huge housing shortage and big queer community. We've got a couple of people interested already, sight unseen - worst case scenario we have to live with someone we don't get on with. And it's given Sam and me a push to look at our own finances and as of today, we've got a mortgage decision in principle and can start looking at flats in the area - mind, we'll be transparent upfront and tell any prospective housemates that yeah, we're looking to buy and move out in the next 6-12 months, and we'll tell them if we put an offer in, because we're decent fucking people who aren't going to spring that on someone out of the blue.

But it's been I think 2 weeks and I'm so fucking angry I could spit. It's such a fucking betrayal. And frankly you know selfishly like. I just had a breakup a couple of months ago, I'm in the middle of moving jobs, both me and Sam have a history of housing instability and this has been the first decent, stable, safe, not-mouldy not-freezing home I think any of us have had, and this is so fucking triggering and upscuttling I could just start biting. like I was talking to my friend about it last week and it's just like. Can I have One Fucking Thing of the three main tentpoles of survival - home, work, relationships - that are fucking stable right now? because shit has been In Flux lately. and at least the work and relationship stuff has changed because of my decisions. going through all that work to make myself short-term unstable to gain long-term stability has been really hard and draining and then just as I was reaching the crisis point with work stuff BOOM, IT'S HOUSING INSTABILITY WITH A STEEL CHAIR. fuck. seriously fuck this and fuck her. we're going to make something good come of it but what a deeply, unbelievably shitty thing to do.

#red said #the other thing that bugs me about it is. ok and again this is old shit dredged back to 2021 when we moved in together #but i had my housemate. and Sam had her. and each of us were really close pairs who'd lived together a long time #and we tried looking for flats as a four but a) a flat with 4 good sized bedrooms in Edinburgh is hens teeth #and b) my housemate was pretty happy to live with me and Sam but increasingly felt like a 4 man flat was going to be a lot for him #and so in the end we talked about it. and through a combination of that and same housemate being in a pretty #unfavorable position housing wise. cause she was unemployed and had shit credit at that moment. #we agreed she'd move with us and Joe went and found a one bed #and in the end that's been really great for him tbh he's a lot happier and more confident and we were pretty sick of each other by then #and so we get on much better now #but at the time it was a real heartache i felt like I'd let Joe down i felt like our friendship was over #and honestly I have never been a huge fan of living with our current housemate. even before we lived here #like when i was staying with her and Sam too. she's incredibly messy and takes up a lot of space in conversations #I've always liked her as a person but she's exhausting and often unpleasant to share space with #and there's a bit of me that's like. we bent over backwards to accommodate you when you were precarious. #like it would have been WAY easier for us to look for a 2-bed during 2021. and if it was a 3-bed I'd have rather stayed with Joe. #but we moved with her for her sake. and she left Sam to clean up their old place (and there were Literal Rats) #and she got really pissy about driving the moving van even though a) that was her idea and b) she's the only person with a license #and c) i walked all MY shit over by hand anyway and the only reason she hired the van was to move her tv #me and Sam found all the core furniture. me and Sam sorted out all the viewings. me and Sam did all the planning. Sam set up all the bills. #we spotted her for rent!we took a bigger share of the costs! because we fucking cared about her and wanted her to have a fucking home! #and she can't even do us the courtesy you'd offer a fucking lodger you found on fucking gumtree

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Me, while manically cleaning my room at 3:27am: I should make several large, life-changing, irreversible decisions.

#so ive been in a bad mental state lately #because of many things. but the biggest being (yes i know ive complained about this in multiple other posts) #that my best friend and my ex gf were fucking. without even asking or telling me. i got no heads up. just figured it out on my own #which sucked and now im not speaking to either of them #and when i first found out i was in a bad place physically too #i had a terrible ear infection that was so fucking painful #and i realized i could concentrate on both things. so i focused on healing #and then i remembered ny family is coming to visit for Christmas #and thats a lot to deal with. so now im focusing on cleaning the apartment. specifically my bedroom #so im manically cleaning at 3:30am while angry and stressed and trying not to focus on this thing that makes me really upset #and in the middle of cleaning ill suddenly think 'should i quit my summer camp job?' or 'should i move states again?' #its not good. but i havent acted on anything #AND in the middle of cleaning i found all of my meds #i havent been taking them for months. but i decided im gonna start taking them again #i have a few refills left but then ill have to find a psychiatrist. i dont want to. but its definitely for the best #im trying to get my life back on track and build and better it #but then something hits me and completely derails everything and makes everything so hard #so anyway im gonna go do some more cleaning and try not to make life-altering decisions. and maybe build a desk #btw i have to get up at 9am to take out my puppy. and at 11:35 i have to get ready for work. again its 3:30am #and im full of manic energy #tomorrow is going to be very bad but at least I'll have a semi-clean room

[cerubean]

words can not express how much i love this daycare im working on

#ignore the arch its a place holder but aaAAAA i love this build so much itsthe perfect amount of overstimulating and messy #and theres only 2 pieces of cc im so proud of myself lol but i couldnt resist those high chairs and that rug #this is where wyatt is gonna be working!! i found an active daycare career mod its exactly what i was looking for too so im excited!! #the sims 4 #ts4 interior #s4mm #simblr #s #wip #moved the myers to a new save so im motivated to start playing finally i havent even touched hsy and i only got to play with werewolves for- #just a day!!! i havent really played in months :(( #ok im rambling and its like 4am goodnight <3 #ok i queued this and it didnt post whatthe heck man

[vibrantvenus]

I was looking into the HL tag bc free blocklist, and I keep seeing people saying, "Just because I'm playing this game doesn't mean you know my politics, I fully support trans and Jewish people, blah blah blah."

And you know what, sure. I don't know you, I don't know anything about your beliefs. But you do know whose beliefs I do know about?

Jk Rowling's.

And that's the whole point. I know nothing about you, but what I do know is that you have willingly and GLEEFULLY, given your money to this woman who is actively funding anti trans legislature. The people she surrounds herself with and acknowledges. We know about Jk Rowling's cruelty.

So yeah, sure, I don't know you, I can't tell you how to spend your money. But I can tell you to stay the fuck away from me.

#hogwarts legacy #jk rowling #anti hogwarts legacy #im not going to speak on the antisemitism bc im not jewish and its not like. my place to speak #but the game is fucking rife with antisemitic stereotypes and im not going to hear anyone say otherwise #and look. as someone who fuckin loved hp and found a lot of safety and comfort in it i can tell you this. #it is so fucking easy to just. move on. read new books.

[running-in-the-dark]

we've only had our new washing machine for four days and I've already done laundry more times than in the past two years combined 🙃

#in the place we lived first the washing machines were in a shared room in the basement #which meant 1. carrying the laundry down three floors and 2. other people (especially the very mean old woman who lived there) #so my husband always did it there #then we moved. but our washing machine got damaged during the move so it started always giving error messages accompanied by the loudest #most horrible beeping #and you had to keep pressing a button to get them to stop #but I found the noise so distressing that again. my husband had to do laundry all the time #but now? oooh I love this stupid washing machine!! the only thing that's stopping me from washing every dirty fabric thing I see is that we #don't have enough drying racks/it's not warm enough for everything to dry that quickly #personal

[an-assortment-of-forks]

there are doctors there are hospitals there are specialists there is medicine there are systems in place so people do not have to suffer and be tortured under their own chronic pain daily and yet. they're all fucking inaccessible to the people who need it most!!! to what I would argue is most disabled people!! I'm so fucking done with the medical system.

#today is an absolutely wretched pain day that makes me want to not be here anymore but guess what! #wasted a whole year trying to convince my doctors I was in significant and disableing pain daily and the best they could do #is tell me to go to PT and to wait 6 months and tell them if it gets better #to prescribe some shit like gabapentin or otc pain meds and write me off #tell me they'll get new X-rays to see if it got worse by the summer #disability exists!! specialists exist! good doctors fucking exist!! somewhere!!! I'm sure!! #but here I sit. in excruciating amounts of pain unable to convince any fucking doctors of anything #and that year I spent pushing myself to the limit is wasted bc at the very end of it all only one guy listened to me #and he said no one in their giant ass facility could diagnose me #so I'm back to square one bc I got a new job which means new insurance and new doctors to try and convince again #I just want to be on disability so i can want to be alive again #I'm so frustrated and in pain constantly #what are people like me who have to work 40hrs to afford to live but don't have any family to rely on supposed to do?? #just die? am i supposed to continue to work until im too disabled to move and be profitable unless i get lucky? #bc some fucking doctor finally decides to actually listen??? #ive tried ALL THE DAMN TRICKS TOO. telling them a friend has it and thats how i found out. that my previous doctor was looking into it #etc etc #I'm SO done living like this i am exhausted. #and to know that i COULD BE HELPED. RIGHT NOW. is the worst fucking part #these systems are in place so people like me dont have to fucking suffer. #but i cant even do anything about it bc i have a cat.