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divinefireangel · 3 years

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They Just Don't Know You

Soft Yandere! Seo Moon-Jo x F! Reader

Disclaimer: This is just a work of fiction. If this piece of fan fiction is offensive to any celebrity, fandom or culture please let me know so I can take it down. Also note that this is my version of a character or celeb, which will vary from person to person.

Author's Note: A 2nd longer fic for our lovely cannibalistic psychopath. I hate that I'm attracted to him. Someone please be my therapist. Or psychiatrist. Honestly doesn't matter. My brain is fucked anyway.

Copyright: Please note that this is my work and if you want to publish this on any other platform, take my permission before doing so. Taking an author's work and posting it somewhere else without any intimation is just disrespectful. I readily welcome suggestions and criticisms. That being said, Happy reading! 🤍

Warnings: 16+ and written for female reader, but all can read. (nothing specified with respect to appearance, etc of reader). Except that I've mentioned reader is short, cuz LDW is tall 🥰. There is a brief mention of sex, but no actual smut. Reader kinda highkey hates on her parents and younger sister. Read it to know. Age gap between reader and Moon-Jo. Slight obsessive thoughts. Manipulative words. I tried to put plot twist in the end, probably you won't notice it 💀. Please please tell me if I need to add more warnings. Do not read if you start to feel uncomfortable. I apologize in advance 🥺

❗❗PLEASE READ WARNINGS ❗❗

Pre-Requisite / Summary: Just a fic based on the song They Just Don't Know You by Little Mix. After watching Strangers from hell I related this song to him for some reason. Reader and Moon-Jo are in an established relationship. And reader's loved ones don't approve.

2.3k ish words My longest fic till date 🥳

" You know that he's too old for you. You can settle for younger, much younger guys for your age sweetheart. If you can't find anyone eligible enough, we will find one for you. And you don't even know if he has intentions of marrying you. What if all he wants is just a fling or some time pass relationship. Hmm? What are you going to do then? "

Sipping her tea silently, Y/N sat next to her dad on the porch swing, listening to all the criticisms he had about Moon-Jo. All his words did was boil her blood. But what could she do when they don't walk in her shoes? They don't know how safe and content she feels when he kisses her like she's the only girl for him in the entire universe. And no point in explaining that to her father anyway. She's tried. And failed. Multiple times.

"Are you done with your tea?" She asks her dad, in desperate attempt to try and get away from him and his words because she knows, and even he knows that it's going to end up in a fight if they continue to speak on the same topic.

Humming yes, he hands her his tea cup which she takes to the kitchen so she can help her mom with dinner. Placing them in the sink upon entering the kitchen, Y/N drags her palms down her face in frustration.

" I could hear what he said you know. Your dad. He's not wrong. Seo Moon-Jo seems like he'll break your heart in three. And we're only looking out for you Y/N. You don't have to go through heartbreak when you can very well avoid it." Her mom finished slowly.

" Why. Why is it so difficult for you to accept the fact that I'm actually in a happy relationship for once in my life. So what if he's much older than I am? He's a dentist. A doctor. A very good profession and he's known and well respected in his neighbourhood too. " Y/N said loud enough for her dad also to hear.

Huffing in annoyance she left the kitchen to go upstairs to her room. Or rather the room she shares with her sister. Of course the door is wide open. The younger rascal is always here for the drama.

Ever since Y/N came out to her family about her relationship with Moon-Jo, her sister has become the favourite child, for obvious reasons. And now eavesdropping with the door wide open? That's a new low. But what else can Y/N expect from such a low life who is literally thriving off her own sister's pain and suffering.

When entering the room, Y/N realizes how big a mistake it was to visit her family. And she did not need such snark from a younger, less experienced child.

"Are you that blinded by " Love " that you don't even see how weird his hair is? A man who isn't an idol or actor doesn't need such long hair. He's clearly a fuckboy. Or man whore. Whichever is right. " She said with disgust.

'She's just jealous. She's just a jealous bitch. They all are.' Y/N thinks to herself.

" At least one of us gets laid regularly. And just so you know, it's absolutely heavenly when he makes me cum over and over on his fingers and his dick-" Y/N said as her tone slowly got lower and darker and her emotion angrier.

Screaming and covering her ears, the younger girl ran downstairs to her mother, no doubt to tattle on her older sister. Rolling her eyes, Y/N started packing her things, all of them, in a bag she took down from the top shelf of the wardrobe.

It's really difficult to leave one's family, but it is clearly getting more and more tiresome to love them nowadays. If it's so wrong to date him, why does Y/N herself not see it? She's a logical and smart young lady. Does her family hate that man so much that they don't even want her to be happy? No matter who she's with. And is it so bad to date a man who's older? Richer? And cares more about her than all of her family members combined?

Wiping the fallen tear stains from her cheek, she just thinks to herself ' They just don't know him. They just don't know him like I do. '

Sending a text to her lover, saying that she misses him and that she's coming back home sooner than planned, Y/N carries her bag through the front door, her parents and sister ignoring her as she leaves and walks out that door one final time.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Once reaching their shared apartment, Y/N collapsed into her lover's arms the moment he opens the door, crying her eyes out. Seeing his lover in turmoil, shedding a tear or two of his own, Moon-Jo carries her to the living room couch to cradle her like a child who needs attention.

" They- They said -"

" Shh my darling. I know. " Moon-Jo said, shushing his girlfriend and giving her a shoulder to cry on. Once she's calmed a little, her sobs turning to sniffs, she lifts her head to meet his gaze.

Seeing her sad, tear stained eyes always upset him. More than anything in the world. Running his long slender fingers across her cheeks and jaw, he removes her hair from her ponytail with his free hand and rests it on her thigh.

" Tell me. Please tell me that you won't break my heart like them. That you won't try to tear my world apart like them. " Y/N looked desperately at him, wanting so badly to know that he's not just using her.

Those words, that slipped out her mouth, shocked Moon-Jo, to say the least. What did he do wrong? What did her family fill her head with?

Tilting his head to a little, he looks into her red eyes, trying to read her mind for a moment, all the while she just looked at him with the same desperate expression.

"Please tell me that you will be there when I need you the most. " Y/N whispered so softly, she herself barely heard it. But the end of the sentence, she started crying all over again.

Taking her head to his neck, he stroked her hair and her sides, trying to calm her down.

" Darling. I promise with my everything, that I will never leave you, I will never ever let you go. That I will do anything, anything necessary to prove my love to you. "

"No, oh dear no. That's not, you don't have- have to do anything at all to make me believe you love me. I'm sorry I asked such a stupid question. " She sobbed out.

Shushing her softly again, he rocks their bodies back and forth, till she's calmed and fallen asleep there, in his arms. Knowing that his arms are her only safe place for her from now on, he takes her delicate figure to the bedroom.

Placing her on her side of the bed, he lays down on his. Staring at her stunning face, he feather touches her face with his fingertips, memorizing every curve, every little detail on her, like a sculptor admiring his work and giving it the finishing touches.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

" So, I did a little digging on your sugar daddy. "

" Why?! And he's not my sugar daddy. " Y/N said in disbelief. No. Not her dear best friend too.

" I know you said not to and I'm sorry. But I am worried about you. He made you leave your family Y/N. " They stated with worry and sympathy.

" No. He didn't make me leave them. I left them by choice. They don't see him like I do. And clearly, they hate that I'm happy with him. " Y/N finished as they sat down at the lunch table.

" Y/N..... "

" What? Even you don't want me to be happy? " She questioned her friend in disbelief. Laughing sarcastically Y/N shook her head.

" I've heard rumours! Okay? He was in the orphanage that had that severe fire explosion. And most of the culprits from that incident are MIA. What if he's one of the people who caused it?! " They said in a whisper, worried that the neighbouring people can hear their conversation.

" Do you really think that? All of that is just a rumour. And he's told me about it. He's told me everything. Unlike my parents who so desperately tried to tie me down to an arranged marriage. "

" He's not good for you. I know you deserve better. Okay he may make happy and all but what if he leaves? What if he just uses you and drops you like you were nothing? We're just trying to make sure you don't get hurt Y/N. Physically and emotionally. " They finished.

" This, all what you said, is cheap talk. But it'll eventually wear down because when we get married and have kids and all that in the future, you're all going to look like fools. And I will proudly say ' I told you so '. "

" If that's the case then I am the happiest person for you. Hopefully I won't have to be the one to say ' I told you so'. "

" Wow. I, just- hah. Wow. Just wow. " She paused.

" You know, I really hoped you would be more supportive or at least tolerant enough to have patience and support me with my decision for my love. " Y/N said loud enough for eavesdroppers to hear audibly.

Of all the people she would have to drop, never even in her nightmares had she fathomed that her best friend would be one.

Getting up from the table, she picks up her bag and leaves without another word, and goes to the only place that has love for her and that accepts her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Reaching home, Y/N notices the place empty. Maybe he's at the clinic?

Shrugging off her bag and jacket she sits on the couch for a moment, before her restlessness takes over and she begins pacing in the living room.

Why are people being like this? Do they hate her so much? They barely know him. Why are they treating and accusing him to be such a criminal! He's not. He takes care of Y/N so much. He loves her so much. He provides for her. He's affectionate with her, more than he's told he thought capable. He's become her ride or die. And she, his.

They don't know him like I do. They will never love me like he does.

They don't know about the love they have. The just see what they want to see. Bloody society dictating whom to love and whom to not. Is it so hard to see the love they have for each other? Can't they just let it be. They don't know the turmoil she's gone through recently; they don't know how well he's taken care of her, kept her happy and same enough to not let her intrusive thoughts get the best of her.

Her thoughts interrupted by the door clicking open. Smiling, Moon-Jo enters with a box, surely containing sweets from her favourite bakery. How can you not love someone so considerate, who does things for you without even having to ask.

Seeing the sad look upon his lover's face, Moon-Jo's smile fades into a frown.

" What's wrong my dear? "

Smiling sadly Y/N just shakes her head, conveying that she doesn't want to talk about it.

Placing the box of sweets on the coffee table, the two hug each other, feeling of comfort taking over them both. She can just stay here, forever, in his arms till the world ends.

" Babe. What's wrong? You can tell me anything. Anything at all. I'll take care of the problem. " Delicately Moon-Jo cradles Y/N's head in his palms, making her face up to him, their height difference evident.

Sighing, she moves to sit on the couch, motioning him to do the same. " It's just people. And what they say. My family was one thing, but my best friend, the person I chose as my family " Pausing Y/N breathers the tears back in, " They were doubtful of you today. How can I live knowing that no one will approve of us? " Y/N questioned looking at him.

" Does their opinion really matter that much? So much so that you are skeptical of my affection to you? " Coldly, he moved back from his seat on the couch.

" No! No. Gosh that is not what I mean. Not at all. I love you and I know that you love me. So much. So much so I would die for you. But there are other people whom I care about. Who's opinions matter to me. And I don't want to let them go. As happy as I am with you, I need them too. They give me joy in a different way, that is important. "

" Do I not make you happy? Are you not content with the love I give you? Is it not enough? " He asks carefully.

" That's not what I meant! You love me more than anyone I've known. "

"Then what's the problem? You don't need those people who don't love you. You have me. You will have me forever and ever. I will never leave you. And you will never leave me either. We'll be with each other till the end of the world darling. "

Nodding with a small smile you looked down at your feet.

Unhappy with your action, Moon-Jo pulls your face up by your chin to look at him with such force, it scared you a little, making your heart skip a beat in fear.

" Do you not love me, babe? " He asked tilting his head to a side, his expression mildly offended.

" I do! I love you. So much. " You finished with a soft tone, cupping his face with your hands.

Grinning like a Cheshire Cat, Moon-Jo leaned down to capture your lips with his. Reacting immediately, you kissed him with as much energy and sincerity you could muster, as you head filled with thoughts of doubt.

Had your parents been right? Had for friend been right? Had they all been right all along and you too blind to see?

No. It can't be. He loves you. He's said that so many times. And you love him.

You love him.

You.

Love.

Him.

...

Do you love him, or have you been illusioned into loving him?

#lee dong wook #lee dong wook imagine #lee dong wook x reader #ldw #strangers from hell #strangers from hell x reader #hell is other people #seo moon jo #seo moon jo x reader #seo moon jo imagine #seo moon jo x f!reader #yandere seo moon jo

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tswaney17 · 3 years

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I Do Bad Things with You - Part 29

This part came out a little bit longer than I anticipated. We have to get through a bit of emotional healing before we can get to what you all are waiting for (myself included 😂). I’m leaving on vacation next weekend for a week, so there will likely be a delay in posting the next part. Honestly, I haven’t even started it or really have a set idea of what I want to do with it, so there’s that too... Anyways, please enjoy! 💕

I’m not doing a tag list anymore because they’re really more trouble than their worth. For notifications, you can follow and subscribe to my fanfic account where I will be reblogging updates and snippets only. You can also find me on ao3.

My fanfic account: @tswaney17fics

My ao3 account: tswaney17

Please let me know what you think about this update. I love getting your feedback. Constructive criticism is always welcome. 💙💜💚

Catch up here.

Credit to @featherymalignancy for Cassian’s nickname, Cash. 😘

Trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault, language, NSFW

Word Count: 6,071

Elain was released from the hospital in the late afternoon the next day.

Viviane procured a pair of extra scrubs from Elain’s locker for her to change into, not before scolding them both for sharing her bed.

Azriel turned his back to her and ducked his head, offering her some privacy as she pulled the clean clothes on. To be honest, he wasn’t exactly sure where they stood as far as changing in front of each other. Yes, he did help bathe her after she had her nightmare, but that was a different type of intimacy, and he didn’t want to overstep her comfort levels.

“I’m finished,” she announced, flashing a grateful smile—one that told him he had been correct in his assumptions.

A knock on the door interrupted the silence that had settled over them.

“Come in,” Elain called.

The door swung open, revealing her boss.

“Thesan,” she greeted with a bright smile.

The doctor offered her one in return. “Hi, Elain. How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine.”

The corner of his lips quirked up. “I should expect nothing less coming from you. How’s the pain in your leg and walking.”

She shrugged. “It’s okay.”

“Elain,” he chastised, seeing right through her.

Azriel watched her cheeks flush with color at being caught in a lie. He had to hide a smile behind his hand.

She sighed. “It’s a little sore to stand on. And walking makes it hurt a bit. But it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

The dark male crossed his arms, assessing. “I’m clearing you off shifts for the next two weeks.”

Her eyes widened in disbelief. “Thesan!”

But he held up a hand to stop her. “That is an order as your doctor and your boss. Give your leg and your body some time to heal. We’ll reassess in two weeks to see if you’re cleared for duty.”

“Thesan, please. It’s not that bad,” she all but whined.

“If you had a patient with the same injuries as you do, what would you tell them?” he challenged.

Elain’s mouth snapped shut, and she let out a huff of air in exasperation. “Fine, two weeks. But I’m coming back after that.”

The doctor chuckled, shaking his head. “We’ll see. I have three new first-year residents coming on board next week. I’ll break them in and get them situated. Once you come back, I’ll put you in charge of directing them. How’s that sound?”

Her eyes flashed to Azriel’s briefly before returning to her advisor. “That sounds great to me. Thank you, Thesan. For everything.”

He reached out, gripping her shoulder in a friendly embrace. “Always.”

Elain’s back stiffened at the touch.

Azriel froze. His hands clenched into fists at his sides, unsure of what to do. He respected her boundaries, and he didn’t want to step in unless it was deemed necessary. But he saw her shoulders relax under his hand and she offered up a smile at her boss—one he could tell didn’t quite touch her eyes. Az was curious as to how much the doctor knew about her past.

“Rest easy,” he murmured before departing their room.

He couldn’t stop the look of amusement from crossing his face.

Elain’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “What?”

He shrugged, nonchalantly. “It’s a nice change to see the doctor getting doctored.”

She snorted. “You were a stubborn patient.”

“Pot, kettle, baby.”

She stuck out her tongue at him before sitting down on the edge of her bed to put her shoes on. Her hands hesitated, not wanting to touch the blood splatters that stained them. Elain let out an exhausted breath.

He knew it wasn’t so much the blood itself, but how she obtained the splatters. Azriel was kneeling in front of her in an instant, taking the shoes and slipping them onto her feet. Without looking up at her, he asked quietly, “Does he know?” His curiosity getting the best of him.

One thing that still amazed him was that he and Elain never needed to speak things aloud to know what the other was saying. He didn’t need to elaborate on what he was asking her. When he finished tying her shoes, he glanced up at her face.

She was watching him carefully, eyes full of sadness that sucked the wind from his lungs. “No,” she whispered. “Graysen attacked me during med school before I knew Thesan. I was doing better by the time I met him, so it didn’t seem like an appropriate conversation to have with him.”

He understood that.

“But thank you, though. For not interfering. I know you smacked Cash’s hand away from me yesterday, but that’s different. I need to be able to handle this on my own.”

Such stark, honest words.

“I would never want to insert myself into something that doesn’t concern me. Especially when it comes to you. I’m here to support you in however way you choose. But promise me if I do fuck up, that you’ll address it with me head-on.” He needed her to just be honest with him. The whole dynamic of their relationship (or whatever they were) was different now, and he wanted to make sure that they met every obstacle upfront.

Something changed on her face at his words. The sadness in her eyes was replaced with a softness that could only be described as gratitude. “You won’t—fuck up, that is—but I promise I will.”

“Well, if this isn’t a promiscuous position…”

Elain whirled on the bed as Azriel shot to his feet, finding Viviane, smirking like a cat, standing in their doorway.

“Promiscuous how?” Elain demanded.

A blonde brow disappeared into the nurse’s hairline. “Did I not just walk in on him down on one knee?”

The color drained from his face.

“Shit, you two aren’t engaged, are you?”

“Dear lord, Viv! No!” Elain hissed. “He was helping me put my shoes on.”

Viviane strolled further into the room. “How am I supposed to know! You and Axel here move between lightning-fast and glacial speeds. I took a guess.”

“Nope, you called me Azriel yesterday. No more of the Axel bullshit.” He crossed his arms as she stared him down. Tattooed lines peeked out beneath the t-shirt over his biceps stretching from the movement.

The sweet smile she flashed him sent shivers running down his spine. “It does bother you! I knew it.” Viviane cackled like a full-on witch.

Elain rose up off the bed, shaking her head. “Please tell me you’re bothering us because you have my discharge papers?”

She huffed in outrage. “You’re no fun, Ellie. But yes,” she waved said papers in the air. “I come bearing gifts of freedom. Sign them and drop them off at the nurse’s station on your way out.”

Taking the papers and shooing the nurse from the room, Elain began signing them, seemingly oblivious to the world around her.

Azriel took a minute just to study her profile. Fuck, she was beautiful. She had pulled her brown tresses up into a messy bun at the crown of her head. Strands of hair fell delicately around her face, over her ears, and down the back of her elegant neck.

Elain had been beautiful in high school—easily the most beautiful girl in school, though she’d deny it at every corner. But as an adult, she was devastating. Her child-like structure had grown into a gorgeous woman. All soft curves, rounded hips, and a fucking ass to boot.

Azriel would be lying if he said he hadn’t checked out Elain’s ass when they were living together, especially when she lounged around in those godforsaken leggings that drove him absolutely wild.

But it was more than that. Her hair had gotten longer—darker too than when he previously knew her. Her face filled out a bit more, leading to rounded cheeks that he loved to see turn pink. Her beautiful brown, expressive eyes that would change to a lovely honey color in the right lighting were framed by long, dark lashes.

And while he was an ass man through and through, it was her chest that had tormented him the most in that dress from the gala and the fundraiser. She had grown considerably there, even beating Nesta in that asset area.

It had been so long since he let himself think of her like that. But with their declarations yesterday, and wherever they currently sat relationship-wise, he couldn’t stop his mind from wandering like that.

Elain tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “You’re staring,” she stated obviously, her eyes still scanning the page of her release forms.

Busted.

“Does it make you uncomfortable?” he asked, unsure if she didn’t like it.

She looked at him then. Assessed his question and weighed her answer. “No,” she replied honestly. “It doesn’t.” Her head cocked to the side as she debated something internally. “Where are we going after this?”

Azriel had been trying to figure out a way to bring up their current living situation. He didn’t want to assume that Elain wanted to go back to his place, but he also wasn’t sure if she felt comfortable to go back to hers too, given that was where all hell broke loose. He wanted it to be her choice. “Where would you like to go?”

Elain worried on her bottom lip with her teeth.

Fuck, he wanted to do that for her, but he restrained himself.

“Can we go back to your place?” she asked, voice incredibly small. It made his chest hurt. She fiddled with the pen in her lap. “I don’t know if I can go back to mine.”

“You don’t have to,” he said earnestly.

Elain met his gaze.

He added, “You don’t ever have to go back to that apartment if you don’t want. If you want to find a new place, you can, but you’re more than welcome to stay with me.”

“In your guest room?”

Azriel knew what she was hinting at. “In whatever room you wish to stay in.” Fuck, did he just ask her to move in with him? Shit, he hoped he didn’t scare her.

But she just studied him. No hint of fear or anxiety on her face. Elain stood, clutching the discharge papers in one hand, and held out her other to him. “Let’s go home,” she breathed.

The words clanged through him, making his heart beat rapidly in his chest. He laced their fingers together, knowing that whatever they faced in this world, no matter where they ended up, as long as she was beside him, he would always be home.

~~~

Azriel had called Cash to tell him that Elain had been released from the hospital and that they were going back to his place. His brother asked if they would mind the company, knowing both of her sisters were anxious to see her.

He relayed the question to her, giving her the choice to say no. But in the end, she agreed and said that they could meet them at the penthouse.

When they arrived, both sets of siblings were already there, if Cash’s Jeep and Rhys’s Range Rover were anything to go by. The ride up in the elevator was silent. Az had no idea why, but something itched at him under his skin. He assumed it was because he wanted to ensure Elain was comfortable.

He cleared his throat to get her attention without startling her. “If at any time you want them to leave, just say the word and I’ll kick them all out.”

Elain’s brow raised, but a small smile caught the corner of her mouth. “You’d kick Nesta out?” She huffed out a laugh. “I have a feeling she’ll be sleeping between us.” Seeming to realize what she had said, her face turned a light shade of pink.

Az reached out to touch her cheek, letting his thumb skim over the apple of it. He would never stop thanking the Mother that Elain seemed to melt into his touch. “Believe me when I say that nobody will be sleeping between us when it gets to that point.” He added the last bit to tell her that he didn’t expect anything from her. Did not ask for anything she wasn’t willing to give freely.

The elevator doors slid open, and he escorted her out. They had barely stepped into the entryway before they were ambushed by their family.

Azriel froze when Feyre and Nesta approached their sister, anticipating them to grab her into a hug. Knowing how she reacted to Cash’s touch, he stepped forward as if to intervene, if necessary, but the look from his brother had him stopping in his tracks. He watched as both Nesta and Feyre held out their hands to Elain instead.

Elain hesitated, her arms hovering between her and their outstretched palms. But then her shoulders relaxed as she released a breath and took their hands in hers.

He wasn’t sure which sister made the soft sobbing sound, but the three of them embraced each other and he knew she was okay.

His brothers smiled fondly at their wives before they turned their attention back to him.

It was Cash’s subtle nod towards the hallway behind him that gave him an uneasy feeling.

He cleared his throat again, breaking up the sister’s reunion.

Elain turned her head towards him.

“We’re going into my office for a minute. Will you be okay?” Az ignored how the others seemed to scrutinize their conversation.

“Yeah,” she finally breathed. “Yes, I’ll be fine.”

Again, he reached out to cup her cheek, then leaned forward to brush a kiss on her forehead.

Elain gripped his wrist and gave it a comforting squeeze before returning her attention to her sisters.

He also ignored the shocked look on everyone’s faces as he made his way towards his office, his brothers hot on his heels. He dropped into his chair behind his desk with a groan—his back aching in protest from the awkward position he slept in the night before.

Rhys shut the door to his office behind them.

Well, that couldn’t be good. “What’s the damage?”

Cash and Rhys exchanged a look before the former said, “She let you touch her. Not just touch, but kiss her.”

Az cocked an eyebrow.

“After what happened with Graysen, Elain had issues with being touched, as you know. But it was more particular with males than females. It took nearly two months after her freely allowing her sisters to touch her that she felt comfortable enough with casual touches from Cash and myself,” Rhys explained. “When Cash told me about her flinching from him on the tarmac, we assumed it’d be the same.”

“Is that what that whole hand thing with her sisters was about?” he asked genuinely curious. He wasn’t around during her initial trauma—then again, if he had been, she wouldn’t have been attacked. Just another tainted mark on his life.

“Stop,” Cassian snapped. “Whatever shit just went through your head, stop it. You’re not to blame for what happened in her past.”

Agree to disagree, then.

His brother shook his head, muttering something he chose not to hear under his breath. “To answer your question, yes. Feyre, Nesta, and Elain worked out a system to help identify when Elain was okay with being touched, and when she wasn’t. They would hold out their hands to her when they wanted to hug her or whatever,” he waved a hand in indifference. “If Elain took their hands, they were free to do so. If she ignored them, it meant she didn’t want to be touched. It was an idea her therapist came up with when she struggled to communicate her good days versus her bad ones.”

He blinked in surprise. “That’s actually—a well-thought-out idea.”

Rhys leaned back in his chair, crossing an ankle at the knee. “We adopted the method, but it took her two months before she took our hands too.”

“So, that brings us back around to the unspoken question of whether you two are back together or not.”

He rolled his eyes. “Subtle transition there, Cash.”

Cassian shot him a cheeky grin—one that told him he wasn’t getting out of the question.

Azriel sighed. “We haven’t had that conversation yet. I’m not putting that on her right now. But,” he couldn’t stop the stupid little grin on his face, “we admitted we still love each other.”

“It’s about damn time,” Rhys muttered. “Did you kiss her? A real one, not any of those forehead ones.”

He shook his head at his brother’s antics but refused to answer the question.

Violet eyes twinkled. “I’m taking your silence as a confirmation.”

“Why must you insert yourself into places where it doesn’t belong?”

“Speaking of inserting ourselves where we don’t belong,” Cash began, tracing his finger around the armrest of the chair he sat in. “Nesta has been on the phone nonstop for the last twenty-four hours handling calls with the police department on your behalf. I’ve modified a report so the entire warehouse incident looked like an FBI raid.”

Azriel stiffened. “You shouldn’t have done that for me.”

“It wasn’t just you, Az. Elain’s name popped up too. There were too many unanswered questions. Doing this covers us all.”

“Your ass is on the line, Cash,” he challenged. He refused to let his brother go down for his problems.

Cassian ran his tongue over his teeth—it was one of his signs that he was holding back on his temper. “I’m aware of that. But you are my brother and Elain is like my sister. I will do anything to make sure you two get your happily ever after, no matter what. I know what I’m doing. Plus, my smokin’ hot, attorney wife is coming in on the other side of your defense. We’re basically your wall of protection. So, don’t argue with me; just say thank you and be done with it.”

Rhys was grinning like a fiend. He got this sort of sick satisfaction when Cassian and Az got to arguing like that.

“Shut up, Rhys,” he snapped.

“I didn’t even say anything!”

A knock on his office door interrupted his retort as Nesta peeked her head in.

“Hey,” she greeted, her eyes landing on his.

Azriel sat up straight. “Is everything okay?” he asked, voice edged with worry.

Nesta opened the door wider to let herself in. “She’s fine. Feyre was going to help her take a shower. She said she felt gross. But she doesn’t have any clothes here. Do you have some she can borrow until we can figure out a living situation—”

“She’s staying here with me.” At her raised brow, he amended, “Or, at least she said she wanted to come here. The choice of where she wants to stay is up to her. But she didn’t want to go back to her apartment.”

Blue-gray eyes scrutinized him; seemed to pick apart his words until she was satisfied with his answer. Nodding in agreement, she said, “About the change of clothes.”

Azriel was already out of his chair. “Yes, she can borrow some of mine until we get hers over here. Or wherever she wants to go.”

Nesta turned her attention to her husband. “Can you throw something together for food? Maybe like some soup or anything else comforting. I think Ellie will like that.”

Cassian followed his lead, standing up out of his chair. “Yes, of course. Az, what do you have in your fridge?”

“Everything. Have at it,” he answered, striding from his office and up the stairs to his bedroom. He grabbed a t-shirt, boxers, and a pair of sweatpants from his dresser when he noticed the black box still sitting on top.

The necklace.

Reaching out for it, he pulled back the lid to look at the necklace lying on the velvet cushion. His thumb stroked the pendant once before he snapped the box shut and shoved it into his top dresser drawer. He’d eventually offer it back to Elain—but not now.

Az made his way to the guest bedroom where Elain was showering. He heard Feyre talking downstairs as he approached, so he knocked on the bathroom door. “Elain, I’ve brought you some clothes. Do you want me to bring them in there or leave them out here?”

At her extended silence, he grew worried. He knew that being alone with your thoughts after events like what she experienced could drown you. His heart ached at the thought of her feeling such despair. “Elain, are you okay? Can I come in?” His ears strained to hear anything besides the running water through the closed door.

A heartbeat passed.

Then another.

Until finally, there! Was that a sniffled cry?

“Elain?” he tried again, twisting the nob in his hand, finding it unlocked. “Hey, I’m coming in.” Az pushed his way through the doorway and was met with a cloud of steam. “El,” he tried, stepping further into the bathroom. The door clicked shut behind him and he turned towards the running shower.

He found her sitting on the marble floor, legs bent, arms wrapped around her knees. Her face was buried in the small opening she created for herself. Pale shoulders shook from the force of her held in sobs.

“Shit,” he swore, tossing the spare clothes onto the counter. He kicked off his shoes and socks before stepping into the scalding water—it nearly burnt his skin and he cursed, reaching out to turn the temperature down.

Elain’s pale flesh had darkened to a bright red.

Fuck, he hoped she hadn’t burnt herself.

His clothes stuck to his body like a second layer of skin, but he didn’t care as he sat down next to her and pulled her naked body across his lap. “Hey,” he cooed, his hand caressed her soaked hair down her back. “I’m here,” he breathed.

Angry, red lines ran down her arms like she had scratched at her skin until it nearly bled. “I can still feel the blood of them,” she whispered through her cries.

Az tucked her tighter against him, his chin rested on her head. “There’s no blood, love.”

“I killed them,” she sobbed loudly, burying her head into his chest.

He knew the others could hear her—their footsteps running up the stairs told him that. He had barely twisted to cover her body with his own when the bathroom door flew open.

“Get out,” he ordered, looking at the four siblings.

His brothers, seeing her naked form, retreated hastily back into the bedroom. But neither of Elain’s sisters budged.

He knew she would hate to be seen like this, the vulnerability of the position she was in. “I’ve got it, get out,” he said more insistently.

Gratitude flashed across Feyre’s face before she pushed Nesta out the door and shut it behind her.

Azriel didn’t speak again to Elain, knowing she needed to just let her emotions out. He kept her held against him, rocking her gently until her nails that she had dug into his chest had flattened over his sternum. He kept her ear pressed over his heart—let the steady rhythm of it calm her. His hands never stopped moving over her body as he kissed the top of her head.

They sat for who knows how long in the spray of the shower, but it was long enough that the water had gone cool.

“Does it ever stop?” she asked, voice so quiet, he almost missed it over the sound of the running water. “Picturing what you’ve done?”

He wanted to tell her yes—wanted to give her that reassurance. But it would be a lie. “No. Not really. You’ll always remember what happened, what you had to do to survive. But with time, it gets easier.” Azriel pulled back enough to look down at her; he used his hand to cup her jaw and force her gaze to his. “Elain, you are not a bad person. This does not make you a murderer. What you did, you did to survive. We both would not be here now if it weren’t for you.”

“I’ve broken my vow.” The words sounded shattered, edged with guilt and shame.

It took him a moment to realize what she meant. Her vow as a doctor to never take a life. He had forgotten what it would mean to her. It was beyond her survival. She had broken some fundamental rule cast upon herself—one he wouldn’t understand because he couldn’t. It was different to her; the whole situation was different for her. “By breaking that vow, you saved my life, Elain. You saved me. And I know it doesn’t mean much in reality now, but I owe you everything because of it. I’m sorry I couldn’t prevent that from happening, but this does not make you any less of a doctor, or a human. You survived through it and you’re going to survive through the challenge of moving on.” His thumb swept over her cheek, a movement of reassurance. “You’re so strong, Elain. There isn’t anything you can’t get through. I promise you that.”

She leaned into his touch; her eyes fluttering shut. “How do I move past it?” she whispered, looking up into his face with such hope. It stole every ounce of air from his lungs.

He kept his thumb moving, let the soothing strokes of it calm her. “You remember all the good things in your life and you thank God or the Mother or whatever higher power you believe in that you get to live another day with those you care about.”

Elain wrapped her arms around his neck. It was a gesture of comfort. One he reciprocated ten-fold.

She kissed the side of his neck, the softness of it made a shiver run down his spine. “We should probably get out now.”

He didn’t need to be told twice, standing up with ease, her still cradled in his arms. With practiced precision, he turned the showerhead off and climbed out. Az gently set her down on the counter, then quickly snatched the towel from the rack and wrapped it around her body. He reached under her sink to grab a second towel for himself, though it was fairly useless to dry off his soaked t-shirt and jeans.

Elain slipped off the counter and secured her towel around her chest. “Here, let me,” she said, taking his from him. Her hand closed around the hem of his shirt and she looked up at him, nodding for him to pull it off.

Azriel reached behind his head and shucked the wet fabric off and tossed it over to the tub. It made a slapping sound against the porcelain.

He heard her suck in a breath, and then she reached up her hand and laid it flat against his bare chest.

He didn’t dare breathe as she touched him.

Elain let her fingers splay over his sternum, felt the warm skin beneath. She traced a line of his tattoo, similarly to how she did that night she removed his stitches. Beautiful doe-eyes blinked up at him. Golden strands woven within the chocolate brown of her irises glowed in the florescent lighting. “Will you kiss me?” she breathed.

Like he could ever tell her no.

Az brought his hand to her head, tilting it upwards. He searched her face, just to be sure that she wanted this. When he found no signs of hesitation, he leaned down and kissed her softly.

She melted into his embrace, her body going a bit languid.

“I love you,” he said against her lips.

She whimpered, rising up on her tiptoes to kiss him more fully. “I love you, too.”

His fingers threaded through her wet hair, combing through the tangles. “I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing you say that.” He wouldn’t. Hearing Elain tell him she loved him is singlehandedly the best words ever spoken to him.

She pulled back to look up at him. “I’ll tell you every day then,” she told him honestly, leaning forward to kiss his chest. Elain pressed her cheek to his pec.

Fuck, she was so small compared to him. He wrapped his arms around her, securing her against him.

“Can you tell the others to go home?” she asked quietly. “I just want to spend time alone with you right now.”

His heart swelled. “Of course. Let me change and I’ll go ask them to leave.” He dropped a kiss to the top of her head. “I brought you some clothes to change into. We’ll get you some tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Az.”

He smiled fondly at her before slipping from the bathroom and heading back to his bedroom. Quickly drying off, he pulled on a pair of dry sweats and another t-shirt, making his way back downstairs to his family. They were sitting at the bar conversing quietly but turned to look at him.

“Is she okay?” Nesta asked.

He nodded. “She’s fine. But she wants to be alone. I hate to ask, but can you guys give us some time?”

Both of her sisters hesitated, not wanting Elain to go through this by herself.

“You’ll call us if anything changes?” Nesta asked, not wanting to leave but also not wanting to crowd her sister.

“You know I will.”

“I made some vegetable soup. It’s one of Elain’s favorites, or as close to her favorite as I could muster with lack of prep work,” Cassian said, pointing to the pot simmering on the stove.

“Thank you, Cash. She’ll appreciate that.”

His brothers clapped him on the shoulder as they left. Once the elevator doors slid closed, Az began ladling soup into two bowls. He pulled out a breakfast tray and loaded it up with their dinner, then grabbed two water bottles from his fridge and a pack of saltine crackers from the pantry.

Balancing the tray with one hand, he practically jogged back up the stairs and into his guest bedroom. Only to find it empty. “Elain?” he called, heading back to the hallway and down to his bedroom.

He found her standing at his dresser, staring at the picture of him and his brothers. The one she took of them that summer the six of them went to Rhys’s parents’ cabin.

“I love this picture of the three of you,” she stated, glancing at him. Her eyes landed on the tray he was carrying. “What’s that?”

“Dinner. Cash made vegetable soup before they left.” He noticed her hair had been brushed back. “Did you brush your hair?”

A lovely pink dusted her cheeks. “Yeah, I borrowed your hairbrush. I hope that was okay.”

Az set the tray on the top of his dresser. “You can borrow anything you want.” His eyes traveled down her form, noticing for the first time that she wasn’t wearing the sweats he brought her.

Noticing his gaze, her hands gripped the hem of his shirt.

Fuck she looked good in his clothes.

“The sweats were too big—slid right off my hips.”

He frowned. “Not that I don’t mind you wearing my stuff, we’ll get some clothes for you here tomorrow.” He nodded towards his bed. “Sit.”

Elain did as she was told, folding her legs into a crisscross style.

Azriel set the tray on the bed and handed her a bowl, sitting down next to her with his own. “Cash said vegetable soup is your favorite?”

She took a bite, nodding. “It is. There’s a Mexican restaurant downtown that makes a spicy vegetable soup. I love to get it when I’m feeling under the weather. Cash has tried to make it by taste—the owner always refuses to give him the recipe—but he always seems to be missing something. He’s made it his mission to try and replicate it.”

He couldn’t stop the deep chuckle that echoed from his chest. “That sounds like Cash. Once he sets his mind to something, there’s no going back.”

Elain huffed out a laugh, her eyes going back to the photograph. “That’s not the frame I gave you that picture in.” There was nothing accusatory in her tone, only general curiosity. He was surprised she realized it wasn’t the same one, though he probably shouldn’t have been.

Az scratched the back of his head. “Yeah, the old one got broken by accident.”

Her brows furrowed in the most adorable way. “How’d it break?”

He knew he’d eventually have to tell her, he just thought he’d have more time to come up with a better way of explaining it. “Cassian and I got into a pretty bad fight the night of graduation until it came to blows.”

Golden-brown eyes softened and she tucked a lock of her still drying hair behind her ear. “Over me.”

It wasn’t a question, but he still nodded. “When Rhys pulled Cash off me, he slammed into the wall and knocked the picture frame there.” He set his mostly empty bowl back on the tray, twisting to face her more fully. “Elain, I can’t explain how sorry I am for the pain I caused you back then.” His gaze dropped to his lap, shame washing over him. “That will always be my biggest regret.”

There was a moment where she paused to contemplate his words. Elain set her own bowl back down, then moved the tray over to the nightstand on her side of the bed, and crawled onto his lap. Her hands rested on his shoulders, felt the strength there before she slipped them into his hair.

His fingers went to her waist, steadying her on his lap, but he still refused to look up at her. The guilt he felt, even to this day, was enough to swallow him whole.

She tugged on the strands of his hair, forcing him to look at her. “I forgive you, Azriel.”

When he tried to pull his head away, her grip tightened on his locks, holding him in place. It didn’t stop his eyes from shooting downcast towards their laps. To the plastic bandage that covered the stitches in her thigh. His thumb trailed down past the edge of his boxers to her bare thigh. He lightly swiped it over the covered wound.

“Azriel, look at me.”

His entire body shuddered at the way she reverently said his name.

She tugged more forcefully on his hair. “Hey, look at me.”

Finally, he met her gaze. Let her see the harbored guilt he bore.

Her hands settled onto his jaw, thumbs sweeping under the high arches of his cheekbones. “We do not let our past mistakes define us. They do not get to dictate how much happiness we deserve now.” Another pass of her thumbs on his face had the weight he carried lifting from his shoulders. “I forgive you, Azriel. The question that remains is whether you can forgive yourself.”

The truth of her words weighed on him. He knew she was correct—that he couldn’t carry around this guilt and pain for the rest of his life. He deserved to finally be free and she sure as hell didn’t deserve to have the burden thrust upon her shoulders. “Over time, I think I could.”

She smiled sadly at him, not in pity but with understanding. “Then you’ll have it. Whatever time you need. Just promise me that you will work towards finding that healing within yourself. You deserve to not carry your past on your shoulders, Az. You’re allowed to move forward and be happy.”

His arms wrapped around her waist, tugging her closer to him so he could kiss her properly. His scarred palm splayed across her lower back, pressing her into his chest.

Elain reciprocated earnestly, letting his tongue tangle with hers.

They kissed until they had to break apart to breathe.

She leaned her forehead against his, panting, but there was a dopy-type of smile on her face.

Az dropped a kiss to her nose before sliding down the bed and letting her lie on top of him. Her weight was comforting and it didn’t take long for her eyes to close and her breathing to even out. He let her stay like that, fingers running through her hair. Content to just watch her sleep until well into the night.

~~~~~

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quindolyn · 3 years

Text

Midnight Walks Part 2 || James Potter

Pairing: James Potter x Reader

Word Count: 3020

Note: I finally finished part 2, this is horrible, just completely plotless and a lot of fluff but it was stuck in my head and I wanted to get it out before I started working on something else (what will that be? You know what that’s an excellent question). It’s a bit shorter than part 1 but also much longer than necessary. I hope you all enjoy it or at least don’t hate it, constructive criticism is always welcomed and appreciated.

Warnings: Nonsexual nudity, hair washing, fluff, comma abuse, the Addams Family (I watched it all the time with my dad when I was like 7), lots of fluff, barely proof read and done so at 11:36 pm my time so

Masterlist

Part 1

What you and James hadn’t counted on was for it to start pouring down on you as the two of you laid, splayed out along the playground structure, metal of the bars cutting into your backs. After the kiss in the rain James insisted on having the two of you had stumbled home, wrapped up in each other’s arms, smearing sloppy kisses on any exposed skin you could get your lips on. It probably took you guys a solid 20 minutes longer than it should’ve to get home, you must’ve looked ridiculous meandering down the residential street trying to swallow each other’s tongues, drenched in rain. Eventually you made it home, managing to fall through the front door without breaking anything in the house, yourselves included though there were admittedly a few close calls. “You want a bath doll?” James asked you, cupping your face in his rough, calloused hands, fingertips dripping with rain brushing small, soft circles on your cheekbones. Lifting one of his hands off your face you cradled it in both of yours, tracing a healing callus that sort of looked like a flower, with some very wonky petals, but a flower nonetheless, “Yeah, that sounds good. You’ll take it with me?” Pressing a kiss to your nose he spoke, “Of course, not gonna run a bath for my pretty girl and not take it with her. M’Not an idiot my love.” “Guess not,” You shrugged, a smirk playing at your lips, earning you a playful push against your shoulder. Lifting you into his arms bridal style he carried down the hall to your room where we placed you down on your bed, still being clad in his varsity jacket, you pulled it tightly around yourself to conserve any heat you may’ve had while trying not to shiver from the water that still soaked you. You could feel the comforter beneath you getting wet. “Damn you’re pretty in my clothes baby doll.” He simpered pulling your arms parallel to the floor so he could see how much longer the sleeves of the jacket were than your arms. “They just swallow you whole,” He commented, really more to himself than to you. “Be right back m’love.” He promised before he traipsed out of the room and across the hall to where your bathroom was. You leaned back on your bed as you listened as the water started running when James turned the faucet on, the thrumming sound quickly lulling you to sleep. You awoke in Jamie’s arms but 15 or so minutes later as he carried you into the bathroom once the giant claw foot tub had finally filled to his satisfaction. You smiled dreamily as the sweet scent of your favorite bubble bath flooded your nostrils, you blinked your bleary eyes to see the breathtakingly handsome face of your boyfriend. “Bath ready?” You mewled, your voice weaker than you would’ve thought after such an inconsequential amount of sleep. “Yeah, nice and hot (Y/N/N), just how you like it.” “Great,” Pushing the heel of your hand into your eyes you tried to wipe away the sleep that had so quickly overtaken you. James placed you on the bathroom counter with ridiculous care, as though you were the single most precious thing in the world, handling you with such gentleness you were almost afraid about getting used to it, knowing if you were ever treated with anything less you may just break. “Let’s get this off you.” As he pushed the jacket off your shoulders and down your arms, seeing an opportunity James took it, kissing the delicate skin of your shoulder. “That tickles Jamsie,” You scolded completely unconvincingly as his light, barely there stubble grazed your skin. “Sorry darling,” The shit eating grin on his face said otherwise, “Just couldn’t help myself.” As you reached around to undo your bra James pulled his shirt over his head, leaving it to rest on the closed lid of the toilet, once his pants were pooling on the floor along with his boxers he moved to you, still perched where he first set you in your shorts. You lifted your hips so he could pull down your shorts, still soaking from a mixture of fountain and rain water. Once he sliped them and your panties off your legs his hands were back on you, caressing the your sides as he stared into your eyes, a dazed look you usually equate with post sex washes over his face. “What are you thinking about J?” You asked, tangling your hands in the hair at the nape of his neck. “You,” He responded simply, leaning forward so that the two of your foreheads are melded together, his nose bumping yours, “And how much I adore you.” If you didn’t love him as much as you did you probably would’ve complained about how your face hurt from all the smiling you did around him, you knew smile lines were in your distant future but you couldn’t find it within yourself to care. Because everytime you looked in the mirror you would be reminded of him, almost as if you got to carry around a piece of him with you forever. “I love you too but I’m cold, can we get into the bath?” He nodded, pulling you to the edge of the counter, moving so your legs were linked together at the small of his back, hands clasping together at the back of his neck. “Let’s go, little koala,” He chuckled, one arm on your back, the other supporting your bum, a stray finger stroking your bare skin. You closed your eyes at the nickname, savoring the vibrations of his chest as he spoke and laughed. When the both of you were settled into the tub, him behind you, hands rubbing up and down your arms, his chin rested on your shoulder so that your faces were pressed together, cheek to cheek. “Did you like the walk bub?” “I did!” You smiled, turning to that your nose was prodding against the side of his face, “I don’t think I’ve thanked you-” “You don’t have to,” He shook his head, “You don’t have to thank me for spending time with you, I want to be here for you, you don’t need to pay me in ‘thank you’s’. I’m just glad I was able to help you.” “I still want to say thank you,” You murmured, reaching down into the soapy bubbles fishing around for his hand for a moment before he caught on to what you were doing and moved his hand to yours. You smiled gratefully when you felt his much larger fingers brush the back of your hand. His hum tickled your back forcing you to stop yourself from wiggling around so that the nearly overflowing water wouldn’t splash out the sides of the tub. “Can I wash your hair Jamsie?” You asked him, twisting around so that your chest was pressed to his, faces mere inches from each other. “You want to angel?” He let out a small chuckle when you enthusiastically nodded your head, your eyes going wide as you sucked your bottom lip between your teeth, excitedly gnawing at it. “Okay sure darling, how are we going to do this?

After you both had abandoned any pretense of keeping all of the bath water inside the bath, maneuvering was a lot easier. As you sidled up behind him you ran your hands down his muscled back, relishing in the feeling of his skin against your palms. “So pretty,” You murmured, leaning to gently kiss in between his shoulder blades. “Uh, Jamie?” You asked shyly. “Yeah?” “Could I wash your back once I’m done with your hair?” You asked nervously, as though he wasn’t already sitting in between your legs, the both of you stark naked. “I’d love that (Y/N),” He leaned back into your embrace, forgetting that he was much larger than you, but that didn’t stop you from wrapping your arms around his neck, drawing yours and his initials onto the skin of his stomach. Your eyes flitted over to the shelf next to the tub where rows of shampoos and conditioners, body washes and scrubs sat. You plucked a bottle from your collection and flipped off the lid, squeezing the eucalyptus scented shampoo into your hand. “Can you scooch down for me baby?” You asked, tapping his shoulder as he wordlessly complied sliding so that his body was submerged in the bubbles and water up to his nipples. Working the soap into his hair you massaged his scalp drinking up the soft whimpers and groans he let out as you cleaned his hair. “Feels so good baby.” He praised reaching a hand back to pet your wrist. “I’m glad you like it,” Your response came with a kiss to his temple. Once 10 or so minutes, give or take, had elapsed you figured his scalp was clean enough, “Alright baby, dunk for me,” You instructed, dipping your hands into water to clean them. “Don’t want to be done though bubs, felt so nice.” He whined like a petulant toddler, reaching back for your hands trying to get them back on his scalp. “I could conditioner it for you if you’d like.” You offered, feeling benevolent. “Yes please Princess.” As you pulled the conditioner bottle from its place on the shelf James rinsed his hair, quickly moving back between your legs. He hummed as you gently yanked at his tresses, fingering in the conditioner into his hair. “I could get used to this (Y/N),” He purred, closing his eyes as waves of pleasure crested over him. “Yeah?” “Yeah.” He confirmed. “When do you want to get married?” You wondered aloud to him as the thought swept over your consciousness as you continued to massage his scalp. “(Y/N) (L/N), are you proposing to me?” He quickly turned his head, craning his visage to try to meet your gaze. “Hey, stop it,” You scold, moving his head so he’s facing back forward, “Gonna get soap in your eye if you’re not careful.” “You’re avoiding my question (L/N),” James sang, relaxing back into you as you continued your ministrations on his scalp. “Shove it Potter.” “Calm down Mrs. Potter,” He teased you, “Of course I want to get married, one day. I haven’t thought about it too much though, we’re still so young.” “Oh,” You failed at masking your disappointment, “I guess.” “Baby,” He turned around to face you, hair still soapy with bubbles which ebbed at his hairline, “I am going to marry you one day, trust me, if I have any say in it I’m going to put a ring on your finger but I prefer to live in the moment with you, I need to savor every second we have together, can’t spend too much of my time looking to the future. Don’t want to miss what we have now.” HIs explanation brought a gentle smile to your face, “I get it.” You nodded. “But,” He began. “Yes?” “If I did think about us getting married…” He trailed off. You whined, removing your hands from his hair, “Come on just tell me.” “Don’t stop, why’d you stop?” James groaned going limp. “You’re a literal child, you know that Potter? Keep talking and I’ll keep massaging.” “Hmph,” After a minute he relented, “I wanna wait until we’re done with school, and not just high school, college, grad school, law school, I don’t know, whatever we want to do, wherever life takes us.” “You really want to wait that long?” “I want to wait until we’re stable, I don’t want to start our life together without a solid foundation.” “I understand that, it’s smart.” It was smart, James was a smart person and being captain of the football team and thinking through all of those pranks he and his friends were so partial to playing he had an amazing strategic mind, something you both admired and envied. Which is why you didn’t buy that he hadn’t thought about your wedding, even if he wanted to, you knew James, he couldn’t deny himself. “At our wedding I want a sit down dinner, buffet is too tacky.” You were right, he had thought about it. “Yeah?” “Yeah, and I’ve thought about your dress too.” A truly comically large grin spread across your face. “Obviously you should wear whatever you want but I think you’d look breathtaking in a ballgown. Lots of lace and bling.” “Bling?” “Yes, bling, you should look like a princess on our wedding day. But I’m torn,” “You are?” “Yes,” He exclaimed emphatically, as though he was being forced to make the most important decision in his life and both options were equally appealing. “Because you’d also look gorgeous in a simple dress, nothing too flashy, understated but still elegant, because at the same time I don’t want the dress distracting from your beauty. All eyes should be on you that day.” “You’re a sap James Potter, a sap.” Despite your words you felt a fluttering in your chest, James Potter was many things. An idiot, slightly arrogant, a pain in your ass, the sweetest man alive, and a genuinely good person, even if he was a sap. “I think I’m done darling,” He lifted his arm out of the bath, showing you his pruney fingers, “I’m turning into a raisin bub.” “But what about your back?” “Next time?” “Sure darling, next time.”

James’ shirt hung low around your knees, the soft, warm fabric tickling your damp skin, you laid on your back, your head resting against his chest which was steadily rising and falling, his toned arm wrapped around your waist, inching up the fabric of his shirt to get to your bare stomach. “You wanna watch a movie darling?” “Something stupid please.” After much debate the two of you settled on the Addams Family Values, James argued that it wasn’t stupid though you said it was pure “brain candy”, not anything too engaging or something you had to pay any attention to but still enjoyable. About 20 minutes into the movie neither of you had so much as uttered a single word, settling into the comfortable silence of merely being in each other’s embrace. That was until James spoke, abruptly breaking the silence, “Peonies,” Was all he said. “‘M sorry what?” You grumbled, your voice rough from being half asleep when he spoke. “Peonies, for our wedding, my mom has always grown them in her garden, she grows lots of flowers roses, tulips, carnations, aster, sunflowers too, but peonies have always been my favorite. Sirius and I, when we were little would sit in her garden and pick them, weaving them into little flower crowns for the other to wear, we were her Flower Princes.” “I’m a little offended you haven’t made me a flower crown J, You playfully griped, “Swear to God sometimes I think you’re more in love with Sirius than me.” “Never,” His voice was strong, certain, as he tightened his hold on your waist, pulling you closer to him as he flung one of his legs over both of yours, “Love you most (Y/N), for forever I love you most.” His words became slightly garbled as he babbled, sleep starting to over take him. “I know,” You soothed his wounded ego, stroking his arm, “I’m just playing with you Jamsie.” “Don’t want you to ever think I don’t love you.” “I’m not sure how I could,” You started, the events of the past 3 hours rushing through your brain, the phone call, the hug through the window, him tying your shoes for you, the fountain, his jacket, the bath, the Addams Family. You don’t show up for someone like James did for you unless you really love them, which evidently he did. “You, James Potter, are the most wonderful man and I love you beyond comparison.” “I love you too darling, forever and for always.” It didn’t take you long to fall asleep lying in his arms, he pulled up a blanket around both of your shoulders, both of you being too lazy to get under the actual covers. To the metronome of James’ heart beat, and the rhythm of him moving his leg over your you fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Sunday morning you woke up sorely missing the morning prior, waking up in James’ arms was unlike anything you could ever dream of. And instead of sleeping in until 10 like you had with him you were up at the crack of dawn to the sound of the construction going on next door at your neighbor’s house. After much resistance on your part you dragged yourself out of bed and downstairs to fix yourself some breakfast, wishing James was there to make it for the two of you as he had yesterday before going off to work at the local consignment store. Smearing jam over your toast you aimed it for your mouth missing by an inch or two as you were distracted, scrolling through your phone in your opposite hand. Apricot jam smeared across your face in a mess of orange-yellow glory when you jumped at the abrupt sound of the doorbell ringing. “Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,” You murmured, dropping your toast onto your plate before rushing to get the door, not wanting a second ring to wake the other people in your house. “Hi,” You greeted opening the door to a middle aged woman with a worn face in a pair of khakis and a company shirt you didn’t bother taking too close a look at, “How can I help you?” “Are you (Y/N) (L/N)?” She asked, a pleasant smile gracing her lips. “Yes, I am.” You confirmed, puzzled as to why this woman was at your door so early in the morning.” “Someone ordered flowers to your house for you,” She explained patiently, detecting your befuddlement, “There should be a card in the arrangement.” She said as she handed you an extravagant bouquet of brilliant pink flowers. Peonies.

tagging: @randomoutsiders

#harry potter #harry potter fluff #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter fanfic #harry potter imagine #james potter #james potter x reader #james potter fluff #marauders #the marauders #marauders x reader #marauders x y/n #marauders x you #marauders era x reader

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itsclydebitches · 3 years

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RWBY Recaps: Volume 8 “Ultimatum”

Welcome back, everyone! We had an unexpected break last week due to the horror going on in Texas. I'm glad we did. Not because of any salty "RWBY is bad right now yay free Saturday" feelings, but because keeping to a schedule for a fictional webseries should never take precedence over peoples' safety. I can't believe I need to type that sentence out, but it's true! Over the last seven days I've seen fans who are not merely disappointed by the mini hiatus (understandable) but outright hostile towards the crew because they... were ensuring everyone survived during an unprecedented emergency? Yeah. Given the highly critical nature of these recaps — including today's! — I want to be clear that my thoughts towards Rooster Teeth's creative choices are distinct from any thoughts about the crew itself, including the most basic forms of compassion like, “I sure hope everyone is okay over there.” In an age where it has become horrifically common to harass creators and even send them death threats over stories, it has likewise become necessary to remind people: Don't do that shit. Never do that shit. If I can teach anyone anything at all, let it be that!

Anyway, dark fandom reminders out of the way, let's dive straight into our delayed episode. It was certainly a doozy. Titled "Ultimatum," we open on a trigger warning for flashing lights. Good on Rooster Teeth for including that, though I do wonder if creators shouldn't be including time stamps as well? Or perhaps a note that you can find those time stamps in the credits, avoiding any (minor) spoilers for everyone else? I'm not photosensitive myself, so I certainly don't mean to speak for that group, but my first thought was, "So how would I watch this episode if I was? Hand on the pause button, hoping I stop fast enough as soon as the lights start?" Hard to do given the surprise nature of the scene. Really, my answer would be, "Wait for the fandom to post warnings of their own, likely including where it happens so I know when to skip" which is perhaps an indication that this information that should be included from the get-go.

But I am glad the warning exists, regardless. The episode itself begins with a shot of Ironwood looking down at the kingdom. He's used his windows as a vantage point since Volume 7, so that's nothing new, but something about this particular shot reminded me of Ozpin, looking down from his tower. I'm sure the response from many would be simply, "Ah yes, the two power hungry dictators watching over their victims," but I think there's a much more nuanced reading here about leaders being expected to fix the literally unfixable and what that responsibility does to an individual. Of course, it's a nuance that is absolutely obliterated by the episode’s end, but the implication existed for a hot second!

Two other soldiers are in the room with Ironwood, reporting that Cinder has helped Watts escape. They try to soften this with news that they still have Jacques in custody, but receive only a, "I don't give a damn about Jacques Schnee." Which, fair. He's pretty useless at this point. It's when Ironwood learns that both Qrow and Robin escaped too that he really gets mad, something his subordinates have been expecting given their scared expressions.

Now, I'm treading lightly here because I realize how this is going to sound given the end of our episode, but I still want to note that outside of that ending... this is a weird take? Just hear me out. Since Volume 7 the show has worked very hard to make Ironwood seem scary and unstable — bad setup for what we end with today — but the problem is that none of it works in context and it certainly doesn't work when compared to other characters' actions. They are literally in the midst of an unwinnable battle and thousands of his people are dying. If the audience wants a human being — who also just lost a limb and was betrayed by half his allies — o remain perfectly poised and polite during that, sorry, but that's not how human beings work. But even beyond this, what’s the message here? Ironwood raises his voice, so does Yang. Ironwood hits his desk, Qrow hits a child. If we're going to examine how Ironwood handles his stress and anger, he often handles it better than many of our heroes. Namely, by continually taking that anger out on inanimate objects. I kept waiting for him to attack his subordinates or attack Winter this episode, especially given where we end up, but it never came. Ironwood always has enough control to break the desk or punch the wall, not the person in front of him. Which, of course, would not be a good thing in the real world. I want to be clear given these sensitive subjects that if someone is breaking things in your presence that's a major problem to address. But this isn't the real world. This is a fantasy world in the middle of a war, populated by other characters who express their anger by punching people, slamming them into walls, or screaming at them until they run away. The story wants us to fear Ironwood long before he makes his objectively horrific choices and it tries to achieve that by showing us characters who are clearly terrified in his presence, by giving us a string of broken objects in his wake. But those details don't land well when we compare them to other instances of stress. In the same volume I have watched Ironwood take a deep breath to calm himself down when things have gone horribly wrong. I've also watched Weiss start a conversation by threatening her defenseless brother. So again, what’s the message here? It can’t be that acting violently towards someone = villainous behavior because, as established since Volume 6, that’s common for the heroes. Why are these subordinates terrified about Ironwood slamming his fist on a table, but Whitley has no problem hugging the woman who threatened him? Obviously there is a HUGE difference between our main group and Ironwood when it comes to other actions (cough-bomb threats-cough), but these day-to-day moments don't match up. The show wants to use violence as a way for us to easily identify the Bad Guy while ignoring all the times when our heroes do the same thing.

All of which isn't meant to be a defense of Ironwood. As we'll see in a bit, there is no defense for what he's done. Rather, it's a way of acknowledging just how badly he's been written. Why does a man who consistently reins in his anger and takes it out on objects suddenly shoot a councilman for literally no reason? Why does a man defined by wanting to save as many people as he can suddenly threaten to bomb his city? Ironwood's characterization is all over the place, in the sense that they keep writing him as the morally gray, sometimes harsh, but ultimately compassionate man he started out as... up until they need a villain. Salem isn't here yet, so Ironwood can shoot Oscar. Salem isn't attacking yet, so Ironwood can shoot the councilman. Salem is currently reforming, so Ironwood can threaten YJR and Mantle. He's the B-plot villain whenever Salem is out of commission, which is a problem for both their characterizations. This filler doesn't make sense for Ironwood and it severely undermines the threat of Salem. You finally introduce the Magical Big Bad and our heroes are facing more of a threat from a guy with a broken army and three loyal allies left? Hmmm.

The tl;dr is that Ironwood's arc is a disaster and, frankly, it's gotten old reading simplified takes of, "It's just a realistic look at what white U.S. men will do in power sweetie :) " RWBY does not have the context capable of conveying that sort of critical take because our world is not besieged by literal monsters and an immortal witch, to say nothing of how real life good guys do not get deus ex machina canes that fix the problem instantaneously. Ironwood is not an example of anti-U.S. imperialism, he's an example of writers who don't know how to write.

Anyway, I'm getting severely off topic. Obviously Ironwood is a major part of this episode, but the problems demonstrated here are two years in the making. This is the culmination of things I've been discussing for months across hundreds of posts... so I should probably stop trying to summarize it all in a few paragraphs lol. Perhaps when RWBY is over — or Ironwood has died — I'll do a single meta on his character, try to pull everything into one, unified argument.

For now though, we have an episode to analyze.

While Ironwood is receiving this news we get flashbacks to Qrow and Robyn. Qrow attacks a soldier in his bird form, which is hilarious. Someone GIF that please. It does raise some interesting questions about this magic though: does Qrow retain his aura and strength in this form (something I thought given his choice to transform during the explosion), or was that soldier just so shocked at being attacked by a crow that he went down easy? We'll never know, because that would require establishing concrete rules for this world. The point is Qrow is going feral in his freedom, throwing punches left and right — did he kill that guard? — while Robyn watches it all from under a rock. They're apparently still somewhere in the facility since all the exits are guarded, but that's not the good thing Ironwood seems to think it is. After all, Qrow is out to murder him. He wants to be there.

We all see where this is going, right? The show is going to ignore Qrow's crazy belief that Ironwood got Clover killed in favor of a "Qrow saved Mantle by murdering Ironwood"/“Qrow got revenge for Mantle by murdering Ironwood” ending. Who cares why Qrow wanted to kill him in the first place now that Ironwood has his finger on the trigger? If RWBY is good at anything, it's writing moments that encourage you to ignore everything that came before it. We'll be seeing more of that in just a bit.

"Damn it!" Ironwood yells, because the show is leaning into its cursing. He orders that the subordinates not return until "you have Qrow Branwen in custody." Here we have another great example of the show conflating what the audience knows with what other characters know. See, we know Qrow has a vendetta against Ironwood. We know their relationship is the important one to the story and that Robyn is incidental. Ironwood doesn't know that. There's no reason for him, as a character, to specify that they only bring Qrow back, but it makes sense for the audience who has the whole, thematic picture. Our understanding of the situation is influencing Ironwood's dialogue, which is... not great.

This entire scene we've had creepy music to hammer home just how evil Ironwood is. Except, as said, he takes a breath to calm down and the music fades. Instead of flying into a rage, hurting someone, or doing anything the music suggests he might, Ironwood calmly calls in for an update — which is when the explosion hits.

It's MASSIVE, seeming to originate from a lightning strike, which is weird, since it's coming from inside the whale, but whatever. The animation is very dramatic and pretty, as we've come to expect of RWBY, but the actual plot is lackluster at best. It's funny though because I thought for a hot second, when Winter and the Ace Ops were caught in the blast, that RWBY had actually done something exciting. I mean, holy shit! There are the deaths we expect from a battle like this. My god, what is everyone going to do when they realize that Oscar's needless attack took out five characters, including Weiss' sister —

No wait, never mind. They're fine.

Let's talk about that "needless" descriptor for a moment though. Do you all remember, two weeks ago, when I went, "Hey, why isn't anyone telling Oscar that that Ace Ops are approaching with a bomb? They're on a time limit! If someone would just mention that Very Important Information then Oscar wouldn't keep standing around to fight Salem." See, at the time I was frustrated because of how the plot was needlessly allowing Oscar to put himself in danger (especially when the whole point of this mission was to rescue him). Now, I'm frustrated because that same plot needlessly wasted the most powerful weapon the group had. There was no reason for Oscar to use literal lifetimes worth of stored energy when the heroes already had a bomb to do the same job! What was the point of that? I guess he took out the other grimm too, but without the whale that still would have been a challenge with a finite end, one Ironwood's army and the remaining huntsmen should have been able to handle. It doesn't feel justified to have Oscar use a weapon kept on the bench for lifetimes when there was another option literally minutes away.

There's so much wrong with this I need another list. So:

Ozpin's cane supposedly stores kinetic energy, which may contradict what we've seen from it before. Regardless, we’ve never heard about this. The all powerful weapon comes out of nowhere

It also begs the question of why Ozpin wouldn't use that power at Beacon and why he wouldn't insist that they try to get their cane back while captured. You had an out this whole time! But we’re going to ignore that because Oscar is a little hesitant?

Which makes YJR's presence even more useless than it originally was, which was already pretty useless. Oscar essentially rescued himself

This kinetic energy miraculously doesn't hurt any people or buildings, just grimm

So what is the point of Silver Eyes? That's been their MO since they were first introduced. Sure, Silver Eyes can be used far more often than Ozpin's cane, but it still feels like a let down to learn that the Big Secret behind this weapon is... the exact same thing Ruby has been doing for years

Like Ruby, Oscar likewise didn't need any practice or training. He just set off this massive attack perfectly and without issue

We have now eliminated the biggest threat to the cast instantaneously — the whale and the other grimm — with no effort from the rest of the heroes. Like the Hound, the stakes are obliterated with no satisfying work on the part of our protagonists

Instead, as said, the actual plan already in place never happened. The bomb just... goes back. Kind of like how Cinder attacked and then just went back to Salem. Penny woke up and then just got knocked out again. We continue to go in circles

This is because no one took two seconds to tell Oscar, "There's a bomb on the way"

Because this threat is gone the show needs a new one, hence Ironwood randomly threatening Mantle with said bomb

The one way we might have justified Oscar blowing up the whale instead of Winter is if he did it to save Hazel, but Hazel is implied to be dead

Maybe he's alive, but if he's not that happened off screen and we're not sure how. It couldn't have been because of the blast itself — everyone else is fine — so what, Salem somehow killed him before she was blasted to bits? While he was holding her?

And there's no body?

Salem was torn apart multiple times during that fight and reformed instantaneously, yet now, conveniently, she's taking her time

None of the characters mention the issues above. None of them admit that there was no reason for Oscar to waste LIFETIMES worth of power when they already had a solution in the works. Fantastic

I need to take a moment to acknowledge that so far this recap feels... bad. Disjointed. Bit all over the place. Which makes a certain amount of sense because that's where my thoughts are at. There's so much going on in this episode — so much wrong with it — that I don't know how to boil it all down into a few, neat claims. This episode is a mess! We're barely a few minutes in and the combined issues of Ironwood's characterization and Oscar's choice have left me reeling. So if you're still reading this, bless your patience, I think we'll both need it for the rest of this journey.

Let's snag a neater plot-point to discuss. Amidst all the chaos Neo literally skips away with the Lamp, clearly thrilled at how her own life is going. Later in the episode she'll text Cinder with the obvious: Salem is going to be pretty pissed when she realizes this is gone. “If you want her name you know what you owe me."

So wait... what is Neo leveraging here? Is she agreeing to give the Lamp back so Cinder doesn't get in trouble with Salem? Give Salem the password she's been looking for? Or give Cinder the password to use the Lamp for herself? What would Cinder even want the Lamp for when she's after the Maiden powers? I'm confused about what Cinder is being blackmailed with. Regardless, she needs the lamp for something and presumably what she "owes" Neo is Ruby. We get a cut to her just to hammer that home.

(Side note: both pictures of Neo are hilarious.)

Before that though, back at the whale, everyone is taking stock of the situation when Marrow cries, "Hey, they were still in there!" I feel like this is another scene meant to make him look like the one good guy in the group — he cares about YJOR while the others can’t be bothered — but as always, that reading doesn't fit well with the situation as a whole. The others have barely had time to realize they're alive. I don't think it's a moral failing that they didn't instinctually worry about four betrayers, one of whom attacked them, while they're still checking that they have all their limbs intact. Besides, why does Marrow assume they're dead? The Ace Ops were caught in the blast as well, yet miraculously came out unharmed. They clearly didn't set their own bomb off, so it's logical to assume that YJOR did something themselves. It feels weird to have a "Marrow mourns them and Winter is the only other character who cares" moment when everyone is recovering from bomb shock and no one even knows if the others are dead. But, of course, the show is out to portray only two of these characters as good people, so ignore the logic and run with the emotion of the scene.

All of which is bolstered by Elm pulling away when Vine puts a hand on her shoulder. Why is she acting cold towards him now? Because they're not friends, remember?

While we get more ridiculous relationship dynamics, Ironwood calls in and congratulates them on the bomb working, but tells them to get back because they have another problem in the works. That would be Qrow and Robyn. Winter decides to tell him about the bomb in person.

We cut to Watts and Cinder watching the remnants of the blast from a rooftop. Cinder has tried calling, but no one answered. Unsurprising, given that Salem doesn't have any other allies left. Cinder says that the plan hasn't changed, she's still going to take the Winter Maiden's power for herself, and Watts can help her by bringing Penny here. He explains that he doesn't have full control over her. Rather, he implemented a virus that is setting her on a single path: open the vault, then self-destruct. Cinder, as one might expect, is furious.

She snags Watts by her grimm arm and threatens to toss him over the side of the building. Thus begins the best part of the episode, hands down. Despite the danger he's in, Watts throws common sense out the window in favor of dragging Cinder in the most satisfying manner possible.

“You think you’re entitled to everything just because you suffered, but suffering isn’t enough. You can’t just be strong, you have to be smart. You can’t just be deserving, you have to be worthy! But all you have ever been is a bloody migraine!”

It's true! You know what else is true? This speech could apply to our heroes as well. Accusations of entitlement and reminders to be smart as opposed to just strong hit hard, considering those are the same flaws our protagonists are struggling with. The difference is that Cinder, miraculously, listens, pulling Watts back to safety and going to cry by herself. That moment is simultaneously more growth than Ruby has gotten and more sympathy than Ironwood has gotten. The woman who murdered Pyrrha is treated more kindly by the narrative than one of our initial heroes and our very first villain has taken more time to reconsider her choices than our title character. You know a show is falling apart when excellent choices are applied to the worst possible character.

So Cinder is crying while Watts looks guilty and we cut back to YJOR's group post-blast. Yang is finally able to answer a call from Blake who is obviously overjoyed to see her. Weiss gives them directions to the mansion and they ask what in the world they'll do with Emerald, currently on her knees, mourning Hazel.

Thus begins the third most frustrating part of this episode. See, on the way back the group continues the conversation about what to do with Emerald, with Yang and Jaune distrusting her vs. Ren and Oscar encouraging cooperation. I can't believe I'm saying this after's Ren's speech and Oscar's entire existence... but I'm team Jaune and Yang here. Look, what Oscar and Ren say — the literal words coming out of their mouth — is nonsense. Ren goes, “We can’t let all of our actions stem from fear," as if Yang and Jaune are being ridiculous for mistrusting Emerald, one of the established villains, after years worth of harm from her. It’s weird that Yang points to her arm as something Emerald is responsible for, rather than being framed or the deaths at Beacon, but the general sentiment of, “She’s done horrible things!” is true. Ren’s perspective is the same simplification that was applied to Ironwood last volume, wherein everyone acted as if he was crazy for fearing an attack on his kingdom... post an attack on another kingdom and pre an attack on his kingdom. Putting generic lines in Ren's mouth about not being afraid makes him sound willfully ignorant, as if choosing to believe that someone is good will magically make them so, to say nothing of thinking it will erase all the harm they've already done.

Oscar at least acknowledges the difficulty here, but then follows this up with, “You don’t have to forgive her… just give her a second chance."

Oscar, honey, that amounts to the same thing in this situation. Allowing Emerald a second chance means working with her, which means trust, which means emotionally reaching a point where these characters can put aside the harm she's done them in an effort to give her that chance in the first place. This actually ties into a post I saw last night, one I've come across before, that claims redemption arcs don't require any suffering on the part of the person who has done wrong. I agree in theory, that prolonged suffering doesn't help anyone, but the problem is that people tend to conflate suffering with consequences and someone who has done this level of harm should face consequences for their actions. The problem with redemption arcs is not that the bad people suffer too much — emotionally and physically beating on them as a form of revenge — but that the people they've harmed are put into situations like this one. If Yang and Jaune let Emerald go like she suggests, they are agreeing that she doesn't have to face any consequences for the damage she's done (which, keep in mind, involves multiple deaths, not including all the lost lives here in Atlas). If they agree to give her a second chance, they are forced to jump straight to some level of forgiveness. We might claim they don't have to forgive Emerald to work with her, but from a practical perspective how are they meant to function, especially during a warzone? Anything she provides them with — information, watching their back in a fight, undertaking missions, etc. — requires trusting her enough to allow those things to happen: working with that info, letting her protect them, allowing her that responsibility. It's all about trust, trust she has yet to earn. In order for a redemption arc to be successful, the power has to be in the hands of the victims. They need to be able to see some justice for what was done to them, be offered some proof that the person in question has truly changed, and have the ability to walk away if they decide no, I don't forgive you, glad to hear you've improved, but please stay out of my life. Jaune and Yang have none of that. There are currently no systems in place for Emerald to face consequences for her choices, she has offered them no proof of her remorse or true motivations, and the other half of the group is pressuring them to give her that second chance without closure or reassurance. None of that makes for a good redemption arc and reducing that to, "So you want to see poor Emerald suffer, huh?" ignores the suffering she has already caused. The group are her victims and they are under no obligation to give her a second chance, particularly under these circumstances, which makes the story's choice to have Ren and Oscar act like Yang and Jaune are being stubborn or inconsiderate a problem. The conversation boils down to, "Give the woman you know to be a liar, manipulator, murder accomplice, and servant of our enemy a second chance based entirely on unfounded faith. If you don't you're letting yourself be ruled by fear."

RWBY's touchy-feely themes really don't sit well within its realistic, morally gray premise. We cannot continually have these characters go through hell one moment and then have others accuse them of being paranoid the next. The fact that all of this is wrapped up in the group trusting Robyn, Emerald, and Hazel over their established allies remains beyond frustrating.

Because yeah, you know how Oscar finishes his speech? “I’ve already gotten a lot of help today from someone I don’t exactly trust right now." Meaning Ozpin.

The story is trying to compare Emerald and Hazel to Ozpin.

"Oh hey, I kept a secret from you after lifetimes of watching that secret lead to betrayal and death. I keep apologizing for my mistakes while ignoring that I had no reason to trust a bunch of kids with such world-shattering information and also that you tore it from me in the most traumatic way possible."

"Oh hey, I willingly joined our world's version of the devil and helped her destroy your school, leading to numerous deaths including your friend and headmaster. It was his death that put Oscar in this position in the first place! I then continued to attack your group, leading to another near death of a friend, and a kidnapping, and the destruction of Amity, until I became scared enough to make a run for it."

Which one of these characters is granted an instant second chance? You'll never guess who!

And I do think the word "instant" is important here because just like Jaune and Yang have the right to have distance and justice from Emerald, they had that right with Ozpin too. The difference is they got it. They had the power in the situation, as evidenced by their use of the Lamp and physically attacking him. Ozpin heard what they needed from him — leave us alone — and did that without complaint. They were given months to come to terms with the secrets he kept. They were offered apologies and acts of service to demonstrate intent: saving them in the airship and continually saving Oscar. I don't believe Ozpin ever needed a redemption arc, but even if we think he did, he had it. After three volumes of material Oscar's perspective is still "I don't exactly trust [him] right now" but Hazel and Emerald have earned at least the same amount of trust in a matter of hours? They're really having my boy look at the guy who has tried desperately to do right by him despite unimaginable circumstances, and the guy who tortured him to get information for Salem, and went, "That first guy. He's the one we need to watch out for."

To make things even worse, Oscar tells the others that Ozpin took on all the torture so he wouldn't have to. So he did that and they still don't trust him? If you had told me back in Volume 6 that two years later the group would still be hostile towards Ozpin, while simultaneously urging one another to trust Emerald, I would have said you were lying. RWBY has its problems, but it's not that bad. Yet here we are. I suppose the one silver lining here is that Ren smiles when he realizes Ozpin is back? So at least one of them isn't prepared to draw their weapon at the mere mention of his name.

Both these moments raise more questions though. How in the world did Ozpin take on that torture when we clearly saw Oscar getting pummeled for a good portion of the kidnapping? Is that a weird merge thing the story hasn't bothered to explain? I wouldn't be surprised, considering Oscar said last episode he didn't want to use magic because it hastened the merge, he uses the biggest explosion of magic we've ever seen, and nothing has changed. Ozpin is still in the back of his head, thanking him for the tinniest shreds of decency they get. Ren, meanwhile, seems to be back to mindreading. How in the world does he know that Ozpin is back? I assume it has something to do with his semblance, but we don't know what. They could have shown us Oscar from Ren's perspective, perhaps with two distinct emotions swilling around to imply that he sees two different people now, not a useless shot of Emerald with purple flower petals, whatever purple means.

Oh, but no, we shouldn't have gotten either of these scenes. Remember that Ren's aura broke a very, very short time ago? Is it back already? Can he use this part of his semblance without it? Considering it was near impossible to see Ironwood's aura breaking in the Watts fight and we were then mistakenly told he used his semblance in the office, I'm going to go with, "The writers forgot."

Oscar explains that the cane had "lifetime after lifetime" of power in it and though there's still some left, "we have to be careful with how we use the rest." He says that Ozpin trusted his judgement and of course he did! Ozpin also didn’t know that there was a bomb on the way. Yet funnily enough, no one else mentions that, whoops, your choice made in ignorance was a waste and that's due entirely to us prioritizing hugs over basic mission information.

Also, all these explanations take place in front of Emerald. Half the group doesn't trust her, but they'll freely discuss their powers and limitations here. Remember how the group once wanted to talk about magical relics in front of the old lady they'd just met? Yeah, they've learned nothing.

Combine all this insanity with the fact that Ozpin's magic saved the day before Ironwood's bomb could do the same... while Ruby sat in a mansion drinking tea. Who's our hero again?

So things are a hot mess, to put it lightly. Their conversation finally ends when they hear voices and round the corner to find all the Atlas citizens huddled in the subway. For once the show actually writes them in a sympathetic manner, emphasizing how terrified and helpless they are. This image doesn't lead the group to any revelations though, certainly not anything that would tie back to Ren's earlier speech in the snow. No, once again the justified criticisms here are ignored as we hear that “However this fight ends, we could really use someone like you, [Emerald.]” That's it then. Discussion over. We knew as soon as it started that blindly trusting her was being presented as the "right" thing to do and now here we are, deciding that conclusively, despite Jaune and Yang's complaints. By the time the group reaches the mansion, Oscar is defending Emerald from Ruby. We're supposed to just accept that she's a part of the group now, only minimal pushback allowed.

Before that though we return to Ironwood getting news that their bomb never went off. He briefly wonders who else could have done that, but puts the currently unanswerable question aside for what he does know. They still have the bomb and it could be "useful." See, this moment — like shooting Oscar and the councilman — is when Ironwood just randomly goes off the deep end. One minute he's talking about what they've lost and cradling his new arm,

the next he's saying that he should have tortured Qrow to get Penny to obey him! Which doesn't even make sense since I'm pretty sure Penny hasn't ever spoken to Qrow. She wouldn't want anyone to suffer, true, but it's not like Ironwood had a close friend like Ruby to use as leverage. Qrow is just Some Guy to her. Regardless, he thinks Yang, Jaune, and Ren are decent replacements, despite Penny also having no relationships with them. This is what happens when your characters only start breaking up their teams eight years into the story, the response to Ironwood wanting to torture Ren to hurt Penny is, “Does Penny know Ren exists?” But, you know, torture is torture, right? Maybe. Probably not. I mean, if they're going to turn Ironwood into a cartoon villain, they could at least keep him smart.

Because all of this is just the height of stupidity. Ironwood wants to torture people Penny barely knows to make her listen (so just grab some civilians? It would do the same job...). Ironwood wants to shoot down empty ships, even though no one, including us, knows where in the world those ships would have gone. Ironwood wants to destroy an entire city to try and save another city. He wants to use a bomb meant for a comparatively small whale and acts like that alone will take out the majority of a kingdom. None of it makes sense! And I know the easy comeback for that is, "Well yeah, Ironwood is crazy and evil" but he's not. I mean he is. Threatening torture and bombings is obviously evil, but he's never been insane, or stupid. As said before, his arc (or lack thereof) is an absolute disaster. The fandom assumes so many things about Ironwood given the opportunity — the whale is a suicide mission. He expects the Ace Ops to die on his order — and the writing hints at so many things that never happen — he's going to hurt his subordinates, attack Winter for disobeying him — and every time what we actually get is a far more compassionate, level-headed character... until he randomly does a 180 and goes, "Let's murder a whole city now!" I never wanted Ironwood to be the bad guy, but they could have at least given me a persuasive decent into this level of horror.

So... yeah. Ironwood has got to die by the end of the volume, yeah? Between Ruby warning the whole world about him and him going into full villain mode, there's no coming back from this.

Neo sends her text to Cinder and the group makes it back to the mansion. Remember Yang's criticisms of Ruby's leadership? The ones she conveniently forgot about when Ren started to agree with her? Yeah, those are entirely gone as the sisters hug it out and, presumably, forgive one another for... daring to admit that things are bad? Look, I'm not going to deny that Ironwood's scene with Winter was creepy as fuck,

but I'm not of the opinion that the heroes are any better when it comes to the theme of obedience. They've attacked one another, screamed at one another, and any dissent from Ruby's leadership results in the questioner being left behind in the snow. We'll accept you again when you fall back in line. I used to adore the relationships in this show, but watching them now is just discomforting. The show might be 100% more obvious with Ironwood, using creepy music, a smile, and that hand on Winter's shoulder, but the concept of, "Sorry I dared to question you before! We won't ever do it again :)" isn't healthy either. The fact that the show keeps erasing theses problems with hugs — Weiss hugs Whitley now, Yang hugs Ruby, someone will probably hug Emerald soon — doesn't make the circumstances any less uncomfortable.

None of this even gets into the Blake and Yang hug. First of all, why is Blake acting like they had a fight and Yang might not want to see her? She's hiding inside rather than rushing to greet them, ears down in a devastated expression until Yang touches her. Combine this with Yang's "Do you think she's mad at me?" and it feels like the writers cut a fight in the final script and then didn't bother to remove the fallout from that. Seriously, where did any of this come from? You can't just have characters act like they've been fighting when they haven’t.

Also, can't forget this.

At this point there's nothing more I can say in regards to RWBY's almost-queer baiting. Is touching foreheads more intimate than the hugs Yang gave the others? Absolutely. Is that an appropriate stand-in for overt representation? Absolutely not. This would have been a perfect time for them to kiss. Take out Blake's nonsensical fear and replace it with them both reuniting after their first separation since Volume 5, working under the knowledge that either one could have been killed, finally admitting their feelings. Hell, they don't actually have to kiss. Not all girlfriends are interested in kissing! But they could use the terminology that makes things unequivocally canon. Another forehead touch when we got that in Volume 6? It's not enough, especially not when our straight couples have all been allowed their rep.

Ren at least wants to know where Nora is. He's presumably told what happened off screen as Oscar tells Ruby that Emerald is their friend now.

Then an emergency call from May interrupts the reunion and the group learns that Ironwood is bombing the Schnee ships. “Those ships… they were going to save people” Weiss whispers. How? Tell me how they were going to save anyone. Where were you going to take these people where they would be safer than where they are now? RWBY continually asserts things without explaining them, meaning there is precisely zero emotional weight here. Again, Ironwood is far past the point of defense, but I'd be a whole lot more critical of this particular action if I had a better sense of why it's bad. He appears to be endangering the people given May's shout to run — falling debris? — but the further implication is that Ironwood has doomed the people of Mantle by denying them these ships. It's that part that makes no sense based on what we've been told.

Which finally comes to the ultimatum of our episode title: Penny opens the vault, or Ironwood bombs Mantle. Great! So glad this plan is wicked smart and works well for his characterization. It's definitely not a nonsensical, unfounded, overblown change that feels like it belongs in a child's cartoon, complete with dramatic spotlight. Nope. Excellent writing choices all around.

Our final line of the episode is, “I hope you live up to the title I gave you," referring to Penny's job as the Protector of Mantle, and you know what? That line could have been very cool if it was delivered by an Ironwood with a persuasive fall and a halfway decent plan in place. I love that we've twisted the concept of a protector and turned the title into a horrifying, rather than honorable responsibility... I just hate everything surrounding those details.

So, usual RWBY fare.

(At least we get to see that Nora is awake!)

Will things get better over the next four episodes? I doubt it. We're still expecting the rest of the Ace Ops + Winter to ditch Ironwood, someone getting the vault open, the fall of Atlas, now the potential destruction of Mantle, and none of that includes Salem who should reform at any moment. Frankly, I'm not looking forward to any of it. The final leg of a season should make its audience excited to see how everything turns out, not dreading it. I've heard from multiple people that this is the volume that finally got them to drop the show and honestly? I'm not surprised.

As a final (happier?) note: we've finally got a bingo! I completely forgot our board last time, which was a terrible oversight, but we can update it now.

Our army of grimm can't kill anyone now that it got KOed by Oscar (that is the third one hit defeat of a major enemy we've seen this volume. Yes, I'm including the Hound considering it was obviously on its last legs after Ruby's eyes.)

I'm likewise including "Ozpin apologizes for everything including his existence" because he's done nothing but apologize since he came back. The emotion is there even if the literal words are not. Oscar reminded everyone of how untrustworthy he is, but kept the group from jumping them again. And Ozpin thanked him for it.

Neo didn't literally backstab Cinder (shame), but the Relic still counts.

So a triple bingo! Is that how bingo works? Idk, I've never played. I feel like I should have thought up some sort of humorous prize, but sadly I've got nothing. If you think of anything, let me know lol

That’s all then, folks. Until next week! 💜

#rwby #rwby spoilers #rwby volume 8 #rwby ultimatum #rwby recaps #mymetas

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jikookuntold · 3 years

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Jungkook and His Cover Songs: Is “10000 Hours” about Jimin?

Disclaimer: The following post includes theories, lyric and numeric analysis, plus my personal opinions, so please don’t take anything seriously. I’m too lazy to upload photos and videos for the moments I mentioned here, but I’m sure you know about them all. Any Jikooker must know. And I’m not Korean or a Korean culture expert, I just know as much as any Stan Twitter ARMY knows about their culture.

Anyone?

Maybe one of the biggest Jikook moments of 2021 so far, is where Jimin jumped into Jungkook’s hug, in Lee Hyun’s Vlog. But the other moment on that Vlog was even more significant; Jungkook was singing “Anyone” from Justin Bieber’s new album, and Jimin was harmonizing with him while holding on his shirt. I don’t want to mention their interview moment singing “Peaches” because I know this song is super popular in South Korea right now and somehow it doesn’t count as a moment. But it’s safe to say that Jikook has something special with his songs, and JK in particular always was invested in him.

JK & JB

The reason behind Jungkook’s devotion to Justin Bieber was always a big question for me, and I got my answer not long time ago. Jungkook’s playlist for Melon Radio Station included a song from JB’s new album named “Lonely”. This is one of the most personal songs any artist can ever make, and JK recommended it to his audience. Here are the lyrics of “Lonely” by Justin Bieber:

Everybody knows my name now

But somethin' 'bout it still feels strange

Like lookin' in a mirror, tryna steady yourself

And seein' somebody else

And everything is not the same now

It feels like all our lives have changed

Maybe when I'm older, it'll all calm down

But it's killin' me now

What if you had it all, but nobody to call?

Maybe then you'd know me

'Cause I've had everything

But no one's listening

And that's just lonely

I'm so lonely, lonely

Everybody knows my past now

Like my house was always made of glass

And maybe that's the price you pay

For the money and fame at an early age

And everybody saw me sick

And it felt like no one gave

They criticized the things I did as an idiot kid

What if you had it all, but nobody to call?

Maybe then you'd know me

'Cause I've had everything

But no one's listening

And that's just lonely

These lyrics made me think of one specific thing, the thing that JK and JB have in common: They started their careers at a very young age, and their lives have been under the scrutiny of so many people. These people judged and criticized them but never tried to understand them. The lyrics are straightforward and leave no place for interpretation. By recommending this song, JK showed that he had (and probably still has) the same experiences in his life, and I think the reason he recommends or covers JB’s songs more than any other artist is that he has many things in common with him, and feels connected to his songs.

This can lead us to another theory: By covering a Justin Bieber song, Jungkook shares something about himself with us, something that he can’t express directly.

Jungkook is interested in JB’s songs, but he is not the only one. As I said earlier in this post, Jimin shares the same taste with Jungkook, and my receipt is not just that “Anyone” or “Peaches” harmonizing moments, but also Jimin’s Spotify playlists. Since 2017 (or earlier, I’m not sure about this part) he has added some JB songs to his official playlist, and even his current playlist (July 2021) has two JB songs. And also let’s not forget the fact that Jikook as a subunit started in 2014 with a JB cover. Yes, I’m talking about “Mistletoe” and as you may know, Jimin translated the lyrics of this song to Korean.

10000 Hours

Nearly 700 words and I haven’t started yet! The subject of this post was supposed to be the connections between “10000 hours” cover and Jikook but this prelude was necessary to clarify all the aspects of the topic and we find out how JB is special for JK and Jimin and how they (especially Jungkook) feel connected to him. Anyways, back to 10000 hours:

Dan + Shay and Justin Bieber released this Grammy winner song in October 2019. Here are the lyrics:

Do you love the rain, does it make you dance

When you're drunk with your friends at a party

What's your favorite song, does it make you smile

Do you think of me?

When you close your eyes, tell me, what are you dreamin'?

Everything, I wanna know it all

I'd spend ten thousand hours and ten thousand more

Oh, if that's what it takes to learn that sweet heart of yours

And I might never get there, but I'm gonna try

If it's ten thousand hours or the rest of my life

I'm gonna love you

Do you miss the road that you grew up on?

Did you get your middle name from your grandma?

When you think about your forever now, do you think of me?

When you close your eyes, tell me, what are you dreamin'?

Everything, I wanna know it all

I'd spend ten thousand hours and ten thousand more

Oh, if that's what it takes to learn that sweet heart of yours

And I might never get there, but I'm gonna try

If it's ten thousand hours or the rest of my life

I'm gonna love you

Ooh, want the good and the bad and everything in between

Ooh, gotta cure my curiosity

Ooh, yeah

I'd spend ten thousand hours and ten thousand more

Oh, if that's what it takes to learn that

Sweet heart of yours

And I might never get there, but I'm gonna try

If it's ten thousand hours or the rest of my life

I'm gonna love you

And I'm gonna love you

As you can see, the lyrics are 100% romantic, and the singers including JB, have dedicated this song to their lovers. Also, their girlfriends/wives have a cameo in the MV, which leaves no place for speculation for the context of the song: Even though the uncertainties always exist and no one knows about the future, our love is strong and will stay strong regardless of time.

The Cover and the Theories

Nearly one year later, on July 28th, 2020, Jungkook surprised ARMYs with a short video he tweeted at 11:56 AM. That video was a 49 seconds cover of 10000 hours. A few minutes later, he deleted the tweet (apparently with the advertisement excuses, because it was tweeted from an iPhone and they have a contract with Samsung). Later that night, Jungkook released the full version on Sound Cloud and tweeted the link at 11:47 PM.

Jikookers discovered numerous theories that day about the times of both tweets; if you add the digits of the time, the result is “13” for both tweets 1+1+4+7=13, 1+1+5+6=13, and as you already know “13” is Jikook’s magic number. Also, the first video he tweeted was 49 seconds and 4+9=13. But in my opinion, this theory is not strong. I know that numerology is very popular in Korean culture but still, all of this can be coincidences, but the other things I’m going to bring up are most likely not.

28th July 2020 was the 7th anniversary of the first Jikook selca posted after debut. This also might be a coincidence and to be honest, it cannot be a strong link to make a connection with Jikook, but worths sharing.

The next thing that many Jikookers also pointed out, was related to the title of the song. The lyrics say “10000 hours and 10000 more” and 20000 hours after the 28th of July is 8th November 2022. As you may know. Jikookers believe November 8th is a significant date for Jikook. I believe this can be a coincidence either, and it’s very unlikely of Jungkook to do such calculations (Koreans are interested in numbers when it comes to days and dates, but counting hours is not usual in any culture. Other than that, I’m still doubtful about the origins of the November 8th theory because we have nothing other than two tweets and G.C.F Tokyo release date and their hotel room in Tokyo which still can be coincidental). But I don’t deny these theories because even as a coincidence, it’s still very interesting.

And the next theory is connected to the “Red Moon”. On 27th July 2018, a total lunar eclipse happened all over the world, which became known as the red moon. At that time, BTS were in Malta, and on the same night, Jikook were watching the red moon on a boat. They shared plenty of photos and videos of that moment and I’m sure as a Jikooker you have seen them all and you know that night had a very romantic mood (BigHit words, not mine) for Jikook. So, a second anniversary for that night and the day after that night can be a significant date to release a very romantic cover. Is this a coincidence too? I think we had many of them already.

And last but not least is something connected to Korean culture. You probably know that 1000 days anniversaries are very important for Koreans and they celebrate them along with real anniversaries of the important dates in their lives. And guess what? 27th July 2020 is 1000 days after 31 October 2017. This day is the day Jikook’s travel to Tokyo ended and they posted their couply mirror selca on Twitter with flower bouquet emoji. Despite the one-day difference (the same case for the red moon anniversary), this is not a minor event or small coincidence. I believe Jungkook posted “10000 hour” cover for this reason and based on this, the other theories I mentioned earlier can be true either.

The lyrics hit different if you read them again, after knowing this fact. Right? I don’t want to make this post much longer but before wrapping up, I want to talk about the lyrics of “Anyone” by JB (the song Jikook were harmonizing in Lee Hyun’s Vlog):

Dance with me under the diamonds

See me like breath in the cold

Sleep with me here in the silence

Come kiss me, silver and gold

You say that I won't lose you

But you can't predict the future

So, just hold on like you will never let go

Yeah, if you ever move on without me

I need to make sure you know that

You are the only one I'll ever love

(I gotta tell ya, gotta tell ya)

Yeah, you, if it's not you, it's not anyone

(I gotta tell ya, gotta tell ya)

Looking back on my life

You're the only good I've ever done (ever done)

Yeah, you, if it's not you, it's not anyone (anyone)

Not anyone

Forever's not enough time to (oh)

Love you the way that I want (love you the way that I want)

'Cause every morning I find you (oh)

I fear the day that I don't

You say that I won't lose you

But you can't predict the future

'Cause certain things are out of our control

Yeah, if you ever move on without me

I need to make sure you know that

You are the only one I'll ever love

Only one (I gotta tell ya, gotta tell ya)

Yeah, you, if it's not you it's not anyone

(I gotta tell ya, gotta tell ya)

Looking back on my life

You're the only good I've ever done (I've ever done)

Yeah, you, if it's not you, it's not anyone

It's not anyone, not anyone

Oh, oh, oh, oh

If it's not you, it's not anyone

Oh, oh, oh, yeah, whoa

Yeah, you are the only one I'll ever love

(I gotta tell ya, gotta tell ya)

Yeah, you, if it's not you, it's not anyone

(I gotta tell ya, gotta tell ya) gotta tell ya

Looking back on my life

You're the only good I've ever done (ever done, oh, yeah)

Yeah, you, if it's not you, it's not anyone

If you read the lyrics, you will notice that the context is very similar to “10000 hours”. It talks about the uncertainties of a beautiful love or in other words: No matter what the future brings to us, this love will last forever.

This context of uncertainty and unknown future for a romance is a common concept in many of the songs Jungkook has covered and it’s not limited to the Justin Bieber covers he has done and maybe this concept can be the topic for my next analysis.

#jikook #jikookanalysis #jimin #jungkook

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scims-stuff · 3 years

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right ik that this is a tma/mechs acc and so i don’t really talk abt cr on here but there’s a few problems i’ve been seeing in the fandom after the finale, and i wanna address them

SPOILERS FOR CAMPAIGN 2 EP 141

To preface this: I am a gay trans man, keep that in mind because I think that it provides perspective for a few things I’m about to say. Also I am not going to address any of the gripes people may have with white people playing woc or any stereotypes Beau may fall into because I’m white and not a lesbian, so it is not my place to have a huge opinion on it.

1) Matt confirming on twitter that some npcs are trans is fine

It is not always appropriate or necessary to outright mention someone is trans if it is not directly relevant to their life or how we view the character. Stealth trans people exist irl, and it’s weird to describe someone as trans (unless the pcs knew the person prior to their intro) as it implies that trans people are inherently different (in terms of gender) than cis people (why would you specify someone is trans but never do that with cis characters?).

For example: Yussa is described as looking old, even for an elf. Putting him at definitely over 500 years old. He most likely transitioned magically hundreds of years before he met the nien, there would be no reason to bring it up. Also, he is shown to be a reserved person, it would be out of character for him to tell them anyway.

To me it’s technically not dumbledoring them. Dumbledores relationship with Grindelwald was technically relevant to the plot/his character in the main series, what’s in an npcs pants isn’t.

Also I don’t want to see any comparison with Brennan Lee Mulligan, dimesion 20 and critical role are very different, with different moods, expectations, and most likely ways of transitioning. They may have hrt in modern New York, but they probably rely on magic a bit more in Xandria.

I admit, it may not be the best rep out there, but I think it’s good there wasn’t any transphobia or coming out story lines because they’re usually not handled the best by cis creators.

Trans people feel free continue a respectful conversation about this with me, cis people I don’t care.

2) Please god chill it with how shadowgast ended up

Not all relationships need a dramatic love confession. The way Liam implied that Essek and Caleb were romantically involved at one point but ended up as friends (both due to lifespan and, personal headcanon here, maybe a lack of romantic compatibility) was perfectly clear. This is why we pay attention in literature class.

They both care for each other in a unique and deep way but that doesn’t mean it has to end in romance, there’s a value in deep platonic love. Also, at one point Essek did say that he wasn’t really interested in romance at all.

Additionally, it was an epilogue scene so Liam would want to focus on the important stuff to do with Caleb’s character (burning the time travel room and visiting his parents graves), because, surprise, Caleb is more than who he cares for romantically and he is still bi no matter who he ends up with.

Remember y’all, it’s pride month, Liam and Matt may not see your posts complaining about the lack of gratuitous romance and the fact that Caleb was apparently not good bi rep because he didn’t end up with anyone, but your bi and aro friends and followers will.

3) THIS IS NOT THE LAST TIME WE ARE GONNA SEE THE MIGHTY NEIN

Although I was definitely not in the fandom when they were released, we have 5 canon Vox Machina one shots.

Considering how much the fandom has grown since then, we are very likely to get the same amount, if not more.

So just hold it with the “we never got [insert thing here]” for a bit. I’m personally a bit sad they never got the basilisk oil for Pumat, but hey that’s a good oneshot idea.

In conclusion- chill

EDIT: Essek is canonically demi

#critical role #cr #spoilers #cr spoilers #shadowgast #caleb #essek #yussa #transphobia mention

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hoedameronsworld · 3 years

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The End Of An Era

Pairing: Obi-wan x reader

Words: 5.5k

Summary: you discover, quite unexpectedly that you are pregnant. Unsure how to tell Obi-wan and trying to keep the news hidden from the Jedi order, you somehow manage to distance yourself from Obi, all the while he tries to figure out what has you behaving so strangely.

A/n : here it is folks! The first offical post for this account. A masterlist is up, so feel free to read through the works I have planned. I’m really excited for this account and I can’t wait to meet all of you. Enjoy my first story! Constructive criticism is always appreciated!

The large window sill was hard underneath your back, but you didn’t mind. It was actually your favourite spot in your small room. You lay on the hard surface, your hands folded over your stomach, your head turned to watch the world outside your window. The early morning sunshine warmed you up as you watched the world go by on the other side of your window.

You felt a sense of calm wash over you, almost as if you were meditating. Really, this was your own way of meditation. Laying there, the warm sun blanketing your body, watching the busyness of Coruscant - it centred you, allowed you to focus and to find peace.

Watching the rush and bustle of the busy city while you lay completely motionless and peaceful also gave you a sense of disconnection. But in a good way. It made you feel like your own person, not just another face in the crowd. You knew it won’t be long before you rejoin the world, become part of the chaos of the city. But for now, you enjoyed watching over the world in silence and warmth.

You can’t help but smile when you hear a soft knock at your door. You already know who it is. You had sensed him long before he had actually arrived, your force signature tangling with his, adding another source of warmth into your morning. Besides, you knew he would be coming. You’re surprised he didn’t come looking for you as soon as they realised you would not be showing up.

You let out a soft hum, letting him know that he is welcome to enter. You know that he would not be able to hear the small noise, so you allow your force signature that is entwined with his to open up, telling him that he is welcome.

As soon as the door is closed behind him, he is moving to where your lying, knelling down so he is level with you.

“Darling? Are you okay? You didn’t attend the council meeting this morning” Obi-Wan whispers running a hand over your hair. You hum contently at his gentle touch. Oh, how you wished to stay in this blissful moment forever.

You take a moment to enjoy the moment before you reply softly.

“ ‘M fine. I was unwell when I got up. I feel fine now, but I thought it best to take the day off, not get anyone else sick.” You turn your head to look at him, smiling at him softly. You grab his hand - the one not in your hair - and lay it with your own on your stomach, tangling your fingers with his.

“Do you need me to take you to the health room?” He says, still maintaining the soft and quiet tone, sensing your calm and quiet mood.

“S’probably just a stomach bug. I’ll be right as rain tomorrow” you whisper. He leans forward and places a long kiss on your forehead. You close your eyes, enjoying his soothing presence. After a moment he pulls away from you and smiles at your blissed out expression.

“Let me know if you need anything, okay? I’m at the temple all day” he says. You just nod your head in understanding. You open your eyes and find his beautiful blue ones instantly.

“I love you Obi” you mumble. He places another kiss on your head before standing up, removing his hands from your hair and stomach. You can’t help but whine slightly at the loss of contact. Normally your reaction would result in a small chuckle from him, but today he was filled with a warmth so great he was almost tempted to join you on the window sill and cradle you securely to his chest and never let you go.

“And I you” he whispers, so quietly you almost miss it. He knows you don’t though, because your content smile widens slightly. He retreats from your room before he throws all his responsibilities out the window so he can join you.

~>•••••<~

You were better the next day. And the day after that. However, the next three days after that you would wake up and go scurrying towards the refresher and the toilet. Once you would finish you would feel perfectly fine again for the rest of the day. You told no one of your continual sickness. Not even Obi-Wan. You thought about going to see a medic, but something inside you was telling you that that was a bad idea. So you endured the sickness most mornings before going through your normal life at the Jedi temple.

You had gone several days without any sickness, so when Obi-Wan suggested you spend the night in his room, you agreed. The two of you were cuddled up together, still fast asleep despite the morning sun filtering in through the window. Your naked bodies were entwined and tangled, as were your force signatures. Connected in every way.

Something within the force shifted. It was a small movement, one that no one around you would even notice. However, it caused you to jolt awake. You took a moment to focus, trying to pinpoint the tiny difference that you were sensing. And then it hit you.

There was another life form in this room.

Another life force in you.

Suddenly the recent sickness made a lot of sense.

You could not let anyone know. Not yet. Not until you had a moment to think and to process the news. However, if anyone paid a close enough attention, they would easily be able to spot the extra force signature. Especially with yourself so closely entwined with Obi-Wan, he would sense it immediately when he awoke.

So, you slammed all mental shields up and pulled back your force signature, yanking it harshly away from Obi-Wan until it was the size of a pinprick.

At the harsh - and almost painful - movement of your force signature disappearing, Obi-wan jumped awake. He frowns as he watched you hurry out of the bed and quickly get changed. He couldn’t quite understand what was wrong until an empty, cold feeling swept open. It was you. Something was wrong with you. You had completely closed up. Obi-wan suddenly felt bare and vulnerable.

“Y/n? Are you okay? Is something wrong?” He asked. His voice slightly gravely from sleep. He was sitting up in the bed, watching you put your shoes on with a lost expression on his face.

“ ‘m fine. Just need to go” you mumbled as you yanked on one shoe, reaching for the second.

“Talk to me, my love. Are you sick again?” He asked thinking back to earlier that week. You can’t help but let out a bitter laugh at that.

“No, I’m not sick. This is something so much worse. But it’s also amazing. I’ve got to go.” You finished with your shoes and stood, racing towards the door. While you were moving so quickly, Obi-wan was still moving slowly, his mind almost sluggish.

“Something worse? Y/n wait!” He tried to say, however the door shut with a slam before his words completely left his mouth.

~>•••••<~

It was unintentional, but you had managed to push Obi-wan away. You found yourself avoiding his gaze during council meetings and training sessions. You would turn down any offer of sneaking away from the temple for a few hours to get something to eat or go for a walk. You didn’t spend any time with Obi-wan unless it was absolutely necessary.

You didn’t want to distance yourself from him. On the contrary, you wanted to spend as much time as possible with him. With your relationship being a secret, the two of you already had limited time to spend together.

Yet, you knew you could not be around him at the moment. Any time you were near him, you felt the weight of your pregnancy pressing down on you, almost like a physical weight on your shoulders. You knew you needed to tell him, but for the moment, you still needed some time to process the news yourself.

One morning, you were making your way to the mediation chamber. You needed some time to clear your head. About halfway to your destination, a voice interrupts your thoughts.

“Master L/n! Do you have a spare moment?” You hear Anakin call out to you. You turn to face the man as he jogs towards you.

“Anakin! No running in the temple. Hasn’t your master taught you anything?” You ask, your tone playful. Anakin smirks back at you.

“I’m afraid not. I often ignored what he had to say” Anakin said in the same playful tone. You knew Anakin was only joking. You had watched Anakin grow up as he worked under Obi-wan and you knew the boy looked up to Obi-wan.

“What can I do for you today, Ani?” You questioned with a smile.

“If you are not busy, would you help me with my training? It appears Obi-wan’s meeting with master Windu has gone over time” Anakin responds. Despite your plans for meditating, you agree to help Anakin. It had been a while since you had spent time with him and you thought the exercise would do you some good.

The two of you arrive at the training room and you take of your cloak, folding it neatly before you place it on a nearby bench. You ignite your lightsaber and begin sparring with Anakin, catching up with him as your lightsabers clash together. You don’t know how long you battle for when Obi-wan enters the room. You pull away, moving to leave when Obi stops you.

“Please continue. I’ll watch and offer some pointers if you’d like?” Obi-wan said as he sat down on the bench next to your cloak. You nod without a word and turn back towards Anakin, who reignites his lightsaber. The two of you continue your battle for a while until Obi-wan speaks up.

“Sorry, if I may interrupt” he says, standing and removing his own cloak. You take a few steps away from Anakin to allow Obi-wan to offer his pointers.

“Go for it” you acknowledge. You take a few steps away so you can watch the two of them. Obi-wan unclips his own lightsaber from his belt and moves to stand next to Anakin.

“That manoeuvre you were just doing was too high up. It’s a defensive manoeuvre that is meant to protect the entirety of your body. However, when you hold your saber too close to your body, like you were, it limits the amount of protection” Obi-wan explains to his former padawan. Obi-wan moves to display how Anakin was doing it before switching to how the move is supposed to be performed. You can’t help but smile as you watch Obi-wan explain the move to Anakin. Obi-wan is patient as he tries to show Anakin the correct way to perform the manoeuvre despite Anakin’s protests about ‘not being a padawan anymore’.

You realise in this moment that Obi-wan is going to make an amazing father. A warmth that grows from your chest engulfs you as you realise how lucky you are to have Obi-wan. Despite the untimely development of your child, you know that you have no fear of Obi-wan being disappointed or angry. You know deep down, that even if Obi-wan was completely opposed to having children, he would support you through the pregnancy and your child’s life.

The thought, as well as your now haywire hormones, causes you to break down in tears right there. You sink down onto the nearest bench and hide your face in your hands as you sob. You hear a clatter and realise that Obi-wan has dropped his lightsaber in his rush to get to you. You feel him kneel down in front of you. His warm hands gently grab hold of yours and he pries your hands away from your face. You meet his face, and the sight of worry and concern and love pooling in his soft blue eyes has you crying even harder.

“Hey, hey, Y/n. What’s wrong?” He asks softly, his beautiful voice gentle and calming. You quickly glance up and see Anakin standing behind Obi-wan, concern also written over his face. You look back down and shake your head, pulling your hands out of Obi-wan’s so you can wipe away your tears.

“S’nothing. M’fine. I p-p-promise” you sob, trying to lessen your tears and control yourself, yet failing. Obi-wan, seemingly having caught your glance towards Anakin, turns his head away from you towards his former padawan.

“Anakin, I think you’ve had enough training for today. Do you mind giving us a moment?” Obi-wan says. Anakin nods, seemingly still trying to comprehend your sudden mood change. He seems to understand your need for space, so he grabs his belongings and leaves without protest. Obi-wan moves to sit next to you, and as soon as the door closes behind Anakin, he pulls you into his chest. One of his arms wraps securely around your back, the other runs soothingly through your hair. He gently shushes you as you continue to cry into his chest, gripping tightly onto his robes.

“Shh, love. You’re okay. I’ve got you” he whispers into your hair, only causing you to get more emotional. He doesn’t question you, just continues to whisper sweet, comforting words as you finally manage to calm yourself down. Despite your now calm breathing and dry eyes, Obi-wan continues to hold you tight to him, sensing that all you need at the moment is his comfort. After a while you finally speak up.

“I’m sorry Obi.” He pulls away from you slightly so he can look at you. You rest your chin on his chest so you’re looking up at him.

“There is no reason for you to apologise. There is nothing wrong with crying. Are you alright? Is there anything I can do?” You shake your head.

“I’m alright… just…” you look into his eyes and realise he’s waiting for you to explain what had you suddenly crying in the middle of Anakin’s training. You could hardly explain to him that it was due to the hormone changes that came along with the pregnancy that he didn’t know about. You reached for an excuse and grabbed hold of the first one that came to mind.

“I’m just stressed. This war is taking a lot out of me. I guess seeing you and Anakin together reminded me of times before the war and something about that caused me to break.”

In a way that was true. The war had taken a lot out of you, and now that you knew you were fighting for your baby as well, there seemed an added pressure on the situation. And you really did miss the days before the war, when you, Obi-wan and Anakin could go around enjoying each other’s company.

“I know. We Jedi are not made for fighting wars. However, it is just the way it is. All we can do now is to work hard to bring this war to an end, that way things can return to normal.” His voice is soft as he speaks and you can hear the underlying sadness in his tone. It’s obvious he doesn’t like this war any more than you do. He looks down at you, nothing but love in his eyes. The expression on his face almost brings you to tears again.

“We’ll get through it. Together.”

~>•••••<~

The rocky ground is hard underneath your feet, and the sun beats hotly down on you. You can feel your hair cling to your forehead with sweat, but you don’t have time to brush it away.

Obi-wan, Anakin, Ahsoka and yourself had been sent to retrieve an admiral and several clone troopers who had crash landed on this hot planet. However, once your small group had arrived, Anakin and Ahsoka had been separated from you and Obi-wan as you were ambushed by Ventress. As you and Obi-wan battled to keep the assassin busy, Anakin and Ahsoka and left to search for the missing group. Despite this being a two-on-one battle, Ventress was strong and was managing to keep both you and Obi-wan at bay.

Ventress pushed Obi-wan with the force, sending him flying into the rocky cliff wall behind him. You swung your weapon wildly, almost as if you had forgotten any and all technique. Ventress blocked the attack easily and flipped backwards, putting some distance between the two of you.

“You’ve rather lost your touch, L/n. You’re almost no fun to battle anymore” Ventress spoke.

“I’d hardly say these battles are for fun” you respond. You readjust your lightsaber and take a few steps forward, preparing to engage in the battle once more, when you stumble slightly. The world around you begins to blur slightly, and you blink rapidly, trying to clear your vision. Why is it, that a dizzy spell had to hit you now, of all times?

You knew it was just another symptom of your pregnancy. You had been dizzy enough times to know that. Once or twice, you had even passed out. As you stumbled a bit more, you realised with growing dread that you might faint now as well. Your vision clears enough for you to see Ventress approaching you, her lightsabers raised in attack. You take a few steps back and raise your lightsaber in a last chance to protect yourself. However, the force of your opponents attack pushes you onto the rocky ground and sends your lightsaber flying from your grip.

Black dots move across your blurry vision as you see Ventress standing over you.

“Such a disappointing fight” she pouts before she raises her sabers and brings them hurtling down towards you.

In that moment, as you prepare for your death, you feel regret. Regret that you never told Obi-wan that he was going to be a father. Although the two of you had never discussed children before, something within you told you that he would have been happy. It was already obvious he would have made an excellent father. You just regret that you never got to tell him yourself. Instead, he will be told the news by a medical droid upon your inspection. He would have to hide his initial reaction until he was someplace quiet so he could grieve the loss of both you, and the child he never got to have. It saddened you that due to the secrecy of your relationship, Obi-wan would never have someone to comfort him through his time of loss.

Just before the red sabers make contact with you, Obi-wan’s own blue saber is over you, preventing Ventress from harming you. Using the force, he shoves her as far away as possible before his kneeling down besides you. You can see that he’s talking, but you can hardly make out what he is saying. Something about Anakin and taking you back to the ship. He then grabs your lightsaber and turns to face Ventress, who has now returned.

You watch, on the cusp of losing consciousness, as he battles her using both his lightsaber and his own. It doesn’t take long until your suddenly being picked up, sending panic through you. You fight weakly against whoever has hold of you until you see Anakin’s face above you. As he begins to move you towards the ship, you finally lose consciousness.

~>•••••<~

When you wake up, you can tell that you are already in hyperspace. The bed you’ve been laid on is slightly uncomfortable under your back, but that’s not uncommon for medical beds. You turn your head and see Obi-wan pacing a few metres away from your bed. You sit up.

“Obi?” You call. The sound of your voice has him moving quickly to reach your side.

“My darling, you’re awake” he coos as he leans over you.

“Where’s Anakin and Ahsoka?” You ask. Obi-wan chuckles.

“They’re in the cockpit, getting us home” he responds. You raise an eyebrow.

“What’s so funny?” He just shakes his head in response, however you continue to stare at him expectantly.

“You’re sitting here, unwell on a medial bed, and yet you are worried about Anakin and Ahsoka” he eventually relents.

“Well I know I’m perfectly fine. Of course I’m going to worry about those two!” You exclaim. All humour from Obi-wan’s expression fades.

“You are not ‘perfectly fine’. You passed out during the middle of a battle!”

“Look, Obi, I know why I passed out. It’s nothing you need to concern yourself with.”

“Nothing I need to concern myself with! You were almost killed because you passed out!” Obi-wan exclaims. He takes a moment to calm down. “When we land, I’m taking you to a medical droid to -“

“No!” You interrupt him. “No droids. Please.” You knew you couldn’t go to a medical droid. All it would take is one quick scan and they would know the truth. Obi-wan let out a deep sigh.

“I need to know that you are okay.”

“I am okay! I know why I passed out. Trust me” you say softly, trying to comfort him. You study each other’s faces for a moment.

“Why?” He breaks the moment.

“Why what?”

“Why did you pass out then?”

You look away from him, turning your attention to where your hands rested in your lap.

“I - I can’t tell you. Not here” you whisper, not wanting Anakin or Ahsoka to over hear what you were saying. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch a worried expression flash over Obi-wan’s face.

“Y/n, darling, what’s going on?” He asks, just as softly. You look back up at him.

“I’m sorry Obi. I can’t tell you just yet.” You feel hurt as he moves away from you, yet you know you deserve it.

“Okay. If you don’t want to talk to me, that’s fine. But, whatever is going on is greatly effecting you. You need to do something about it before you get hurt” he says.

Silence envelopes you as you think over his words. He’s right. You can’t do this any longer. It’s time to do the inevitable. You can’t continue to hide this. It’s time you speak with the council.

~>•••••<~

You hadn’t told Obi-wan about what you were going to do. You knew that if you had, he would have either tried to talk you out of it, or tried to leave with you. Obi-wan could not leave the order. He was a vital part of winning the war. You just hoped that his reaction in there would not give away your relationship. It was best for your pregnancy to remain unknown for as long as possible.

Sucking in a deep breath, you walked into the council chambers.

Nervous energy made you fidgety, however you had long ago mastered how to control and conceal your emotions.

“Good afternoon masters. I am here to talk about my leave” you announce. Obi-wan leans forward in his seat at this.

“Your leave?” Mace Windu speaks up.

“Yes Master Windu. I feel as if my time as a Jedi has reached its end” you explain.

“I peg your pardon” Obi-wan exclaims. You face him and give him a small smile. You knew he would not be able to completely hide his reaction.

“I’m sorry, master Kenobi. You have been a dear friend, however this decision had to be made by me. That is why I have not spoken with you” you say to him. You can see him clench his jaw, a sign that he wants to say something, however he knows he can’t so he sits back in his seat.

“Strong Jedi, you are. Your leave, a great loss it will be” master Yoda spoke up.

“Why do you feel you should leave?” Mundi said. You turn to face him as you respond, subconsciously settling you hands over your stomach, an action that Yoda does not miss.

“For several weeks now, something in the force has been telling me that my future now lays outside of the Jedi order. I believe it best to follow this.”

“Very well. It is your decision to make. Hand in your lightsaber. You can remain here for a few days while you pack and find somewhere else to stay” Windu says. You unclip your lightsaber from your belt and take one last look at your hand-built weapon before you hand it over to Yoda. You bow to the council members then take your leave, hurrying back to your room. You know that you want to be in a private space for the conversation that is to come.

Just as you had suspected, it wasn’t long after you had taken off your cloak when you heard a knock at your door. Although your force signature was still tightly closed, you knew who it was. You opened the door and let Obi-wan inside.

You don’t say anything, letting him have a few moments to gather his thoughts and figure out what he wants to say. You know that he needs to be the one to speak first.

“I don’t believe you” he eventually says, his back to you. You can’t help but frown, confused.

“What don’t you believe?” You question.

“I don’t believe that it is the force that is influencing your decision to leave.” His voice is soft as he speaks, but the room is quiet so you hear him easily.

“Well that’s because it isn’t the reason” you state simply. He turns around to face you at this.

“So why? Why are you leaving? And why didn’t you come and speak with me?” His tone is one of pain and hurt. “Do you not trust me?” You step towards him and gently take his hands in yours.

“Of course I trust you, Obi. It’s just that…” you struggled to find the right words. “This isn’t something that should be discussed here in the temple.”

“You said the same thing in the ship a few days ago.”

“Because Anakin and Ahsoka were both there. Obi, this is something that, at the moment, can only be kept between the two of us. Neither of us can risk anyone else knowing at the time being.”

Obi-wan doesn’t get to give a response as a knock sounds on your door. You give Obi-wan’s hands a small squeeze and a small, apologetic smile before you move away from him, moving towards the door.

To say you are surprised when you open the door, would be an understatement. Yoda stood before you, the last person you would expect to see knocking at your door.

“Master Yoda! What can I do for you?” You stammered slightly.

“Come to return this, I have” he says, holding your lightsaber up to you. You blink down at him blankly.

“But master…” you trail off, not knowing what to say.

“If correct I am, then out of your control your circumstances were” he replies.

“But master, I cannot be a Jedi” you remind him. Although slightly shocked by this, it hardly surprises you that Yoda realised the true reasoning behind your leave.

“Jedi, you are not. Warrior you are. This you will need.” He gestures to your lightsaber with his head.

“Thank you master” you respond, gratefully taking the weapon from him. Yoda peers around you and you realise too late that he is looking at Obi-wan. You know he has already connected the dots.

“Master, please-“ you begin, but he cuts you off.

“Leave us only one Jedi will” he says. Relief washes over you, knowing that Obi-wan will not be kicked out of the order.

“Thank you master” you say gratefully, bowing deeply. He returns the bow and leaves.

You turn back around, clutching your lightsaber in your hand. You look up at Obi-wan and step towards him.

“Obi, darling, I’m sorry. I really am. Just give me -“ your cut off as you feel a bout of sickness grow within you. You mentally curse. Your symptoms really do nail their timing. You rush past Obi-wan, dropping your lightsaber in the process as you hurry to reach your small refresher.

You collapse in front of your toilet and upend the contents of your stomach into the bowl. Obi-wan is there immediately, rubbing soothing circles on your back. You feel as if you truely don’t deserve him. Despite how confused and frustrated he must be feeling at your secretive behaviour, he is with you in a moments notice when you need him.

Once you’ve finished, you remain on the floor next to the toilet as Obi-wan grabs a cloth from your cupboard and runs it under cold water. You take it from him silently and use the refreshing cloth to clean your face. Once you are done and your strength has returned, you shuffle backwards until your back hits the wall. Obi-wan kneels in front of you.

“Please tell me what’s going on. You have been acting strangely. You were sick a little while ago, and now you’re sick again. You occasionally disappear during training or council meetings. You started crying during Anakin’s training session a few weeks ago and you passed out in the middle of battle a few days ago. Not to mention that you have turned down all offers of spending time with me and you have closed your force signature completely. And now you’ve gone off and left the Jedi temple without even talking to me! I don’t know what’s going on Y/n, but I miss you and I love you and I just want to help you” Obi-wan exclaims.

You study his face carefully, taking in all the details. His soft beard, his pink lips, his clear eyes. You find all of his emotions written across his face easily, reading him like an open book. His concern. His worry. His love.

You know there is no avoiding it. You have to tell him now.

“I …” but you can’t find the words. You have absolutely I idea what to say to him.

So, you close your eyes and slowly expand your force signature. It grows from the tiny pinprick until it is encompassing your entire body. You hear Obi-wan hum softly, embracing the feeling of you again. After being disconnected from you for so long, he doesn’t realise the change at first.

You wait, your eyes shut tight as Obi-wan’s force signature tangles with your own. His own signature jumps backwards suddenly and you know that he has sensed it. You wait, holding your breath for something, anything to come from the man in front of you. You still don’t dare open your eyes.

You wait for a few moments, waiting for Obi-wan’s reaction.

Suddenly, you feel his forehead drop onto your chest, his hands grabbing onto the fabric at your waist. You finally open your eyes and look down at him hugging you tightly. Your confused for a moment, trying to decipher his reaction until it hits you.

He’s crying.

You don’t think you have ever seen Obi-wan cry before. And yet here he is, clutching desperately to you and sobbing into your chest at the discovery that he’s going to be a father.

Your quick to respond, wrapping your arms around his back and bringing one hand up to run through his hair. You don’t say anything, just giving him his chance to let out his emotions. You don’t know how long you hold him for.

After a while, he pulls out of your arms, but he doesn’t move away. He lays down between your legs and rests his hands and his head on your stomach. You don’t say anything, just continue to run your fingers through his hair. You can’t seem to find the strength to break the silence. Your too scared and exhausted for that. Obi-wan seems to realise this as well and he eventually moves just slightly, resting his chin on your stomach so he can look up at you.

“I can’t believe you fought Ventress, despite being pregnant” he says. You can’t help but laugh. But you also start to cry. Now it’s Obi-wan’s turn to hold you. He sits up and pulls you into his lap, holding you tightly as you cry and mutter apology after apology.

And despite him just having cried himself, he begins again. Soon the both of you are a pile of mess as you cry and you smile and you kiss and you apologise and say I love yous. All the while one, or both of his hands remain rested over your stomach. And while the lead up to this moment was stressful and unpleasant and the future is entirely unknown, the two of you bathe in your combined happiness as this chapter of your lives comes to a close in order to prepare for the next.

#obi wan kenobi #obi wan #obi-wan #obi wan x reader #the clone wars #anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #padme amidala #asaaj ventress #x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #star wars #star wars imagines #you x obi wan

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onyourzeus · 3 years

Text

it just is | pjh

ykcyj ➝ arskyh

title: it just is pairing: park jaehyung (jae of day6) & you genre: angst with a happy ending words: 4.2k

author’s note: this took a few days to write because i wanted to approach it with sensitivity, and some realism from personal experiences. as i get to know jae as an artist, a day6 member, and a person even more, i feel so grateful for his music and his vulnerability that oftentimes is met with differing opinions from other people. i wanted to express that in this fic, and i hope i did the genre justice.

content warning: discussions of online hate, criticism, feelings of worthlessness, coping through them

any requests? check my pinned post if i’m accepting any at the moment, thanks!

You don’t get it— or maybe you do. You’ve been given criticism before; on a powerpoint presentation, college-level essays, exams with written solutions needed, even for work performances. It has its benefits, having other qualified people observe you through their own lenses. It makes you notice the errors in your answers, mispronunciations, and flaws in your work ethic you wouldn’t have been able to catch if you were tasked to evaluate yourself.

There’s a difference however, in the ways that you’ve experienced being given criticism and the way Jae has.

He gets criticized. Instead of firm and blunt observations that he needs to take into consideration, and adjust when necessary, he isn’t given a room for improvement. He just receives these words with a punch to the gut, a slap on his face, and it stings. A whole damn lot.

You think about the unfair times you were given criticism for work or a task that you originally thought was executed decently enough, at least for your standards. But that’s the point of being handed blunt feedback, is to let you realize that you can reach higher than this, go beyond what you previously had shown to others or even to yourself.

Criticism given to you over the years had always spared space for you to reflect, and grow with it. It was always supposed to be a weapon for you to take into your own hands, and wield it yourself. It was never meant to attack you full force, and leave you bleeding with no help in sight.

So maybe you do get it, but also you never really will when it comes to Jae.

Either way, you’d be lying if you said you wouldn’t pick up the phone at a time when everyone in the city should be fast, fast asleep. When people have already drifted off into a deep slumber that enables them to dream beautiful things.

You’d be lying to yourself if you said you wouldn’t ride your bicycle so late at night which you absolutely abhor. The cold air hitting your face as you speed up against its current is rarely a welcomed feeling, but that was the least of your concerns as you turned the corner to his apartment.

When it comes to Jae, your mind hums a low beep, static noise to blaring fire alarms and resounding thoughts in an instant.

You don't think much of it, however. He's just another friend, one who is in need.

You never truly believed he could be alright by himself, but you wanted to give him a chance. Now, hearing his voice crack through your phone followed by the connection breaking apart, you struggle to forgive yourself for letting him be. Even for just a little bit.

There wasn’t a need to knock, but you’re worried Jae may have forgotten he even called you in hesitation in the first place. In order to avoid spooking him, you make your presence known more clearly in the darkness.

“Jae, it’s me. I’m coming into your room.”

The door squeaks lightly, but the view isn’t any different. It remains dark, and lifeless in here. Stepping inside, the air just got a little bit heavier, and Jae’s breathing sounds more difficult that you began feeling aware of your own heart rate speeding up.

Retracing your steps from the multiples times you’ve been here, you get to the small lamp he barely uses on his desk. You turn it on the lowest brightness setting, giving the room a bit more dimension. It gives you a better view of Jae laying down on his bed, eyes staring into the ceiling. His hands support the weight of his head, lifting it up from the sheets.

He sniffles for a split second, and your heart thuds like a mic stand dropping on the floor at an empty stadium.

“Hey,” you approach him, careful not to be too loud with your movements.

The mattress dips from the weight of your body, and Jae slightly shuffles to the side to give you room. The side of your lips twitch in response as you make yourself comfortable laying down next to him.

For the next few minutes, no one talked.

Not even a hello back from him, and that’s new.

It’s… concerning, to say the least. Even in his most stressful days, you’d stop by his place knowing it’d annoy him but the sight of you and the smell of homemade spam musubi never fails to brighten up his mood.

He doesn’t forget to tell you that, and it makes you feel needed.

Taking in a deep breath, you look at him in the corner of your eye. He’s not asleep, although his eyes flutter back and forth from keeping it trained to the ceiling and drooping it ever so slightly. You squint further, noticing dried streaks of tears blurring onto his skin.

Your voice shakes. "Tell me where it hurts, Jae.”

You will yourself to resist your own choked out sobs. You’re not even sure what the issue was today. It’s always different, as if they have a giant wheel reserved just for him that someone gets to spin for their own pleasure.

Sometimes it lands on the same, debunked misunderstanding. Other times, you’ve become shell-shocked at how quick they fill in the blanks with made-up accusations for the sole purpose of hurting him even more.

None of it makes sense, and what angers you the most is the fact that Jae made you promise not to interfere. You hate that he used that word with you, promise me, please? because both of you know the importance behind them, especially when said between the two of you.

Did he change his mind tonight? Did it suddenly become too much to bear that breaking the very promise he asked of you was his last resort for help?

“Tell me,” you repeat with more determination now than overwhelmed nerves.

“You wouldn’t understand,” Jae answers, cold and empty.

Any other day that you pester him with a makeshift therapy session, you’d take that as a challenge. But tonight, his words linger in the air and you can’t shake off the goosebumps on your skin.

Maybe he’s right; at this point, shouldn’t you be more irritated than concerned? If he’s not willing to at least describe how inflicting the pain must be with every word online stabbed into him, why do you bother cleaning up the mess?

“How do you know that?”

“Because you’re not me. They say those things because it’s me. I’m the problem.”

“Jae—"

You have the script memorized, the tirade of counterpoints to every blame shifted upon himself, but tonight you stop the words spilling from your mouth.

You turn your body towards him, hands folded underneath your cheek, a lone tear falling from your right eye.

“Do you believe them?” You ask, and the pause in Jae’s staring doesn’t go unnoticed.

He finally looks at you directly, ever since laying down beside him on his bed. With his body still laying flat, he turns his head to face you, his lips pressed together roughly.

You elicit a tsk sound, ignoring the amount of time that has passed since your question. Your fingers meet the cracked skin on his lips as you gently pry them off of each other. It’s wet, and the bright ring of blood doesn’t surprise you. Instead, you wipe it away, pulling your hand back to smear it off your shirt.

At some point, Jae mouths you a sorry but you don’t acknowledge him. Just as he’s obviously avoiding your own query.

“You’re not sleeping well,” it was more a fact than another question thrown at him. You reckon he’d be more cooperative with you if you say it how it is without him denying openly obvious things.

“You’re only drinking dubious cups of coffee in a day with one meal in between, at the most.”

“I haven’t had an appetite recently.”

“But you’d cater to your growing caffeine addiction more so than bring your appetite back?”

You don’t want to sound mean, but the stress lines forming on your forehead aren’t helping with your attempt to ease into the conversation more slowly.

Jae sighs, and it’s one of his many signs that entails he wants to move on, talk about something that is less targeting his questionable behavior and more mundane shit that doesn’t fit into the mood of the room at all.

“I didn’t think you’d come.”

Unexpectedly, you look back at him and answer with a hint of surprise, “You think so low of me.”

Jae laughs, and for a moment the room became brighter. Just a little bit.

“Dude, do you know what time it is?”

“Yes, do you?” It was a rhetorical question, but you’re sort of glad he’s not just staying silent anymore. “I don’t have class in the morning. Even if I did, I’d still be here. Just cursing you out more for making me bike in the cold.”

“It’s because you don’t wear enough layers, dummy,” Jae points out, pointing at the lack of thick clothing covering your upper body.

Your first instinct is to flick his forehead, nudge him by the shoulder, and call him a fool. How can you even think of yourself that way when you receive a call from someone whose voice was on the verge of tears?

But you let it go for now, it’s not like he’ll believe you. It’s not like it matters.

“I still haven’t gotten my From Friends merch, Jae,” you taunt him and he laughs once more. Slowly, you feel his mood change from dreary to a few degrees warmer as he sits up on the bed.

You follow his lead, keeping your knees close, chin resting atop them. You’ll humor him for right now, it’s probably best that you don’t force his feelings out in the open as unwanted as they may be. He might not allow you in the future if you do.

“You can have one of mine. They gave me a ton from the first test batches,” he offers, leaning into you as if to convince you even more.

“I’m seriously gonna hold you onto that. I’m not leaving your apartment tonight without a sweater or two,” you respond, darting your tongue out. Normally, Jae would reciprocate, and if he’s feeling even riskier, inch his face towards yours for shock value.

Tonight, he’s definitely acting differently than normal. Especially with what he says right after is not something you’d expect from Jae.

“Don’t leave tonight.”

“I—”

“Just for tonight?” Jae pleads, gaze fully on yours now. “I’m sorry for being selfish, but… I’m really, really glad you came. I wouldn’t know what… I’m just.. lost and I don’t know what else to think. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’ll stay,” you reassure him, not entirely sure what this entails.

This doesn’t feel like those nights you’d be here for sleepovers countless of times before. Those nights were planned, prepared, and eventually ends up with Jae sleeping on the couch and you hogging his bed, as per your request (yet he willingly lends you his blanket).

Maybe two, three hours at best— this was the amount of time you believed you’d stay. You’ll listen to him vent, or just sink into the silence with him. Either way, you knew your presence can only soothe his pain temporarily, and he won’t say it out loud so you show yourself out the door voluntarily.

He wouldn’t protest, just hug you goodbye and ask that you text him when you get home.

You awkwardly stretch out your legs, placing your hands on your thighs. Swallowing a nervous breath, you let out, “So, um, do you want to talk about it, pal… or…”

All of a sudden you can’t comprehend a single word you’re saying, while Jae just stares at you amusingly, his lips in a tight smile waiting to burst out in giggles.

“I’m trying to comfort you here!” you whine, pouting at the way he’s making fun of you. “When you suddenly ask me to stay just like that, it makes it… weird!”

“I’m sorry,” Jae chuckles airily, carding a hand through his ruffled dark brown locks. “It’s fun for me when I’m not the butt of the joke,” he continues on, tone spiraling to that of seriousness again.

“Is it something incredibly absurd again? What was it? What happened?”

Jae shakes his head. “The words don’t matter.”

You argue back, “Yes, they do. It’s what hurts the most.”

You’ve seen the tweets, sometimes even the hashtags and you wish there was a way to mass report the whole app altogether, and throw it all away in the trash. But Jae reprimands you for overreacting, even if you catch him smiling at the suggestion.

“Debatable,” he sighs outwardly, clasping his hands together and resting them in between the wall and the nape of his neck. “A lot of them are just empty words, sure, but the pain they inflict is something else entirely.”

There’s something about the way Jae speaks about criticism thrown at him that makes you frustrated.

It’s not a secret that there isn’t an ounce of defensive vein in you when you’re at the receiving end of people finding faults in your work, your character. You believe humans are overprotective of who they think they are, they’ve become, as much as they like to hide it.

But with Jae, he sounds way too calm and composed for your liking. Ironically so, since he mentions pain. Perhaps this is his coping mechanism, take them as they are, unembellished and oftentimes hurtful.

But it doesn’t have to be that way, because the more he speaks of them so nonchalantly, the less his eyes sparkle and show his true feelings.

Your eyebrows crease even further, examining Jae’s facial features that remain still and unmoving, giving attention to anything else in his line of sight but you.

“A lot of them are false accusations, you don’t have to accept what you think is false.”

“Are they, though? To an extent, I think it shows what others perceive of me on a daily basis.”

“So you’re saying you do believe what they say about you?”

“At this point,” Jae starts off, stretching his arms upwards before crossing them against his chest languidly. He looks tired. “What else do I believe in? You know when the negativity becomes so loud in your head, I can’t explain it, but the words that tell me to keep going get muddled and overpowered by everything that screams I’m not enough?”

You’re not sure whether to respond.

It doesn’t seem like anything you say can add value to his confession. You look down on your hands, not knowing what to do with them so you keep them intertwined. It’s sweaty, yet the buzzing of his air conditioner fills the air. For some reason, you can’t stop your heart from pounding heavily inside you either.

In a way, it’s possibly because of the realization that all you can offer Jae is an ear to listen to. All you can offer him is your body warmth hopefully exuding onto him, having the presence of another person in his space just to ensure that someone is listening to what he has to say. When no one else seems to let him do so online.

But you want to be more, you have wanted to be so much more. You wish your hands can extend themselves to his, pull him closer so he can hear your heart beating desperately for him. If it had a morse code of its own, it would have confessed the love you feel for him all this time.

It’s gone quiet again, so you slowly lift your head to sneak a peek at him. His eyes are closed, and you wonder if he’s fallen asleep with unwanted thoughts fogging his brain.

Great, the guilt makes it way on your shoulders, weighing you down with it. He asks you to stay, you don’t believe his sincerity, and when he’s opened up so much in one night, you lack the response he needed to hear.

“If it means anything, I don’t believe them. You have your share of dumb moments, sure, but who hasn’t? If they figured out how much stupid shit I have said or done in my lifetime, I don’t think I’ll have a career ever again,” you mutter, mostly to yourself now.

Your mind wanders back to those times that you’ve made yourself look like a fool in front of Jae, and he still holds you against them to this day.

“Remember when I said owls were the cutest animals ever? And then I saw a tumblr post of what their legs looked like underneath all of those feathers? I felt so betrayed,” you recall out loud, snickering at times the group chat you shared with Jae and your mutual friends consisted solely of those creepy baby owl pictures that have surfaced on the internet-- seemingly their only purpose was to torment you with the truth.

You had posted your intense distaste of the animal on your Twitter, rather proudly even. It was a good thing your account was private, but the shame you felt was too intense to keep it on your profile for too long so you ended up deleting it, anyway.

But imagine if someone had somehow saved that tweet and called you out for being cruel towards unsuspecting birds?

“Or the time I got so drunk, I basically roasted all of your solo songs, calling them the national anthem of a hopeless romantic who will never find the love they’ve been praying for?” This was before It Just Is with Seori, and it was a dare that Younghyun had given you as payback for making him act out a lovey-dovey manhwa scene with Dowoon.

You think, if their supporters heard that out of context, you’re most likely toast.

Understandably, these are all a stretch, and at the end of the day, you’re not as famous as Jae. And if anything, the “roast” you had blurted out was completely inaccurate of what you actually think of his solo projects.

A projection, if you will, of your own feelings. If anyone in your circle of friends wears the title of a hopeless romantic, the crown has been glued to your head since meeting Jae.

“I’m not making any sense,” you say, rubbing your cheeks for comfort while watching Jae just doze off into the night. You weren’t sure if he still needed you to stay, but you’d feel it would be amiss if you left.

You begin to shuffle your way off the bed to give yourself more space to think about your next move until you feel Jae’s hand reach for yours, and squeeze it tight.

“I didn’t say you can go,” he mumbles sleepily, eyes still fluttered close. Yet his lips are smiling, almost as if he’s dreaming lightly. If that were the case, you humor him, and let his hand fall into yours. You like it that way, too.

“Did you hear what I just said two minutes ago?”

“No,” he lies.

“Mhm,” you hum, slowly making your way on the bed again. This time, you sit next to him, his sweatpants clad thigh leaning against your leggings. Your hands still held together, albeit loosely, he lifts it up as if to examine it with droopy eyes.

“Thanks, though. Oddly enough, that made me feel a little better,” he admits. “Except for that time you said hated my songs. I don’t think I’m letting that go easily.”

“I was apologetic, and it was a dare! I offered you food for a week,” you protest, shaking his hand off but he doesn’t budge. He keeps it in his palms, and you don’t know what to do with yourself.

A blush escapes on your cheeks, pink and warm, and most definitely as a result of your nerves getting the best of you.

“True,” he recalls, and tilts his head to the side inquisitively, “but it sounded like you really meant it…”

“Jae, you know that’s not true. I literally stream them on soundcloud almost every day,” you say a matter-of-factly, but regret it since it wasn’t something that he had no knowledge about before tonight. He pulls your hand closer to his chest, and excitedly beams at you.

“No way?” He exclaims, and you have no choice but to confirm, a helpless pout on your face. “Yeah, I listened to it on the way here.”

“My number one fan, huh,” he coos, tracing the lines on your palm. You gulp hard, knowing how much sweat your hands had accumulated since meeting his touch. You really don’t want him to notice, but the soothing caress of his fingers felt better than not anything else in the world.

“Whatever floats your boat, dude,” you try to brush it off, and Jae nods animatedly.

You try your best not to appear sleepy as a yawn finds its way out your lips. Jae notices this, and sadly lets go. Then, he taps on his shoulder, the one right next to you.

“Sleep, my child.”

“Never call me that. Ever again.”

“Don’t be dramatic, and just lean in,” he insists, cradling your head until you plop down on him.

It feels awkward, angled a bit on the uncomfortable side. But he adjusts for you, and you feel your body giving in to the source of support for your weary mind.

“I can sleep on the couch—”

“Shh, no more talking.”

Silently, you roll your eyes and say nothing more. Your fingers fiddle with each other once again, remembering how much of Jae’s skin slid next to yours, and now your cheek is pressed down on his frame.

Again, this isn’t the first time it’s happened, but the events leading up to this particular night is all new to you. You allow your body to get comfortable, used to this feeling, even if it’s just tonight.

Your original plan was to be Jae’s shoulder to lean on, but the roles seem to have reversed.

Softly, Jae calls your name. For a second, you’re too immersed in the synchronized breathing the two of you share. When he brings your hand into his, your senses perk up but you refuse to look into his eyes; afraid of what he might see in yours.

“What? You said no more talking.”

“I’m happy you’re here,” he tells you, even softer than before as your hands melt together, filling the spaces between. You don’t know whether to let this happen, not understanding the meaning behind his actions.

It’s.. weird, unknown, foreign, but addicting. His touch is addictive, and you know you’re going to crave for more if you’re not careful with the dosage.

Biting your lip, you struggle to reply. He might mean it in a friendly way, but the invitation to relax right onto his shoulder, lacing your fingers as if they’re meant to be locked in place that way, it’s all too much for your brain to process— and definitely your heart.

Face hot, heart heavy with emotions, you say shakily, “I’m happy you asked me to.”

“Hm?”

“I.. want to be the person you call first when you’re feeling like shit. If possible, I want to be the only person.” There was no going back, no swallowing words you’ve let go in the open.

As you speak, Jae’s fingers tighten its grasp around yours. You feel weak, but you appreciate him supporting you this way as you keep going.

“I probably will never understand what it is you feel when certain words pierce through you too deep, like you said. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to. I want to know how you’re feeling, from good to bad. From the best and the worst of it all. I want to be there.”

“Who said you aren’t?” Jae’s low voice interrupts your stream of emotions, and it compels you to finally see his eyes. They’re shining, teary, and smiling at the same time.

You feel your cheeks soaking wet, and a hiccup arises out of your lips. With your free hand, you hide half of your face in embarrassment. Two idiots, crying together, hands never letting go of each other.

It didn’t seem long until you fell asleep on his bed. The only difference this time, from all the other times you’ve been here, Jae was sleeping beside you.

Arms over your frame, his long fingers finding their permanent place within yours. The two of you have exhausted your emotions enough that night, and there was plenty of time in the day to talk it all through.

You dream of what seems to be a possible future for you and Jae. Moments when he’d fuck up, when you’d say something out of pocket, but it was met with a healthy discussion between you.

And even if there are days when people online couldn’t understand the growth happening in his life, you see it. You see him, and you don’t hesitate to forgive, and give him space to grow. As he does with you.

#day6 imagines #day6 scenarios #day6 x reader #day6 au #park jaehyung imagines #park jaehyung scenarios #park jaehyung x reader #park jaehyung au #day6 fic #by:jiae

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sinsbymanka · 4 years

Photo

This is a double whammy entry from me for @wickedwitchofthewilds Kinktober 2020 Prompts and @scharoux‘s @cozy-autumn-prompts. The prompts are “Quickie” for Kinktober and “Ripe for the Harvest” for Cozy Autumn Prompts. Thank you loves for running the event!

I’m gifting this work to my dear friend @tuffypelly whose Athena Adaar stars!

I’m also submitting this for @dadrunkwriting this week!

Title: As You Wish Pairing: Female Adaar/Blackwall, Female Inquisitor/Blackwall Rating: E Content Warnings: Explicit Sexual Content, Oral Sex, Rope Bondage, Bondage, Light Dom/sub, Semi-Public Sex, Sub Blackwall (Dragon Age), Blackwall (Dragon Age) Spoilers

Read on AO3

Thom never let her take care of him.

Athena Adaar understood why, to an extent, he was like this. He’d spent so much of the past several years atoning for his sins trying to be the man he thought the world needed the most. A hero, a Warden. Of course it translated outside of the battlefield and bled into their personal life.

She was his lady, and he wanted to serve. His pleasure was always secondary, always unimportant. He only wanted to bring her crashing to the edge again and again, clawing at his shoulders and chanting his name to the Maker.

But this time… this time, she would take care of him.

Athena tightened the last knot and stepped back to take a long, critical look at her handiwork.

She could have snuck all the ropes up to her room, but the loft in the stable was far more convenient, and nobody would look for her here unless it was truly an emergency. And since Athena intended on taking her time… well, she wasn’t about to be rushed by some Orlesian having a meltdown about the price of grain or tolls on Inquisition roads.

Plus. There was something charming about the image of Thom stretched out over a hay bale, his arms tied above his head to a post. The thick blanket would protect him and her from discomfort, but it didn’t disguise the sheer novelty of what they were doing.

What was it the peasant children had called it? Athena had never been allowed close enough to play with them herself, she’d been a freak because of her horns and size long before her magic made itself known as well. But a part of her distantly remembered looking on with longing as human children jumped into a card, shouting…

A hay ride! A hay ride!

Well. She was about to have a much more satisfying hay ride.

Thom stretched, testing the durability of her knots. His taut muscles strained and bulged before he gave up with a grunt.

“My lady.” He groaned, fingers gripping the ropes. “Is this truly necessary?”

“Yes.” Athena decreed, tracing her fingers from his bound wrists down the tight muscles of his arms, giving one bicep a firm squeeze. “How else will I have my way with you?”

“Any way you wish, clearly.” Thom responded drly. “Including trussed up in a loft.”

Athena laughed softly, teasing her nails over his muscled shoulders, down the hard planed of his chest and into the thick hair. It was just as luxurious as Varric’s, even though Thom didn’t flaunt himself the same way their dwarven companion liked to. And honestly, that was all well and good, Athena was quite pleased to have this treasure to herself.

She flicked her eyes from Thom’s chest down to the hard cock jutting proudly from a nest of neat curls the same dark color as the rest of his hair. “I think you’re enjoying yourself.”

“At the mercy of a beautiful woman?” Thom chuckled low in his throat. “How could I not?”

Athena smiled to herself, settling onto the bale beside Thom and leaning over him to capture his mouth in a soft, insistent kiss. She slipped her tongue past his willing lips, twisting it with his while she ran her hand over the soft beard he wore and up his jaw.

She broke the kiss to brush the hair from his temple. Thom groaned and tried to follow, but couldn’t quite get the leverage he needed. Athena tutted, walking her fingers down his broad chest. “Patience, love.”

“Let me taste you, my lady.” Thom pleaded.

Athena just shook her head, a playful smile tugging at her lips. “That is not the game tonight, Thom. Tonight…”

She trailed off, raking her nails over Thom’s abdomen, feeling his muscles tremble and flex beneath her touch. “Tonight, I’m going to taste every inch of you.”

Before he could protest, she made good on her promise. Leaning across his prone body, she pressed feather light kisses over his shoulders, running both palms firmly over his chest. With the slightest pull of mana, she warmed her teasing fingers and used them to massage the muscles he put through their paces every day.

She stopped at one jagged old scar, pressing a firmer kiss to it. “What is this one from? You’ve never said.”

“Ah.” He coughed nervously. “I hardly remember.”

Athena placed her hand over it, held his coal dark eyes with her own, and waited. She swore she saw color rising underneath the thick hair hiding most of his face.

“I do seem to recall a rather friendly lass and her aggravated betrothed.”

Athena’s laughter startled the birds nesting above, she heard them take flight in a flurry of beating wings. She dropped another kiss to the scar, shaking her head. “You scoundrel.”

“Don’t tell Varric. He’ll want the whole blighted story.”

“And then make up something much more exciting anyway.”

Thom chuckled. “Sounds about right.”

His laughter tapered off into a choked moan when Athena leaned over and flicked her tongue over that scar, letting her tongue trace his skin. She closed her eyes, beginning to work down his body with the patience and skill of a woman taught to control herself as a living weapon. And each press of her lips was another crack in his armor so that by the time she got to his thighs, she could hear his rasping breath above her.

“Athena.” He croaked. “My lady, you do not have to-”

She silenced him with the broad flat of her tongue slowly licking up his heavy length. It bobbed before her, a bead of clear fluid pooling at the tip. She flicked her tongue over it, collecting the salty liquid with a hum of delight.

“I’ve wanted to taste you.” Athena confessed, her words ghosting over Thom’s cock and making him buck on instinct. “I’ve wanted to take care of you.”

She looked from from beneath her lashes, settling her warm palms over the muscled thighs of her lover. She could see her wolfish grin reflected in his hungry eyes. “And now I get to do whatever I want with you, love.”

She licked her lips slowly, wrapping her fingers around the velvet steel of his shaft. She squeezed lightly, watching Thom’s eyes close and his head fall back. He made such a picture, one that ignited a fire deep within the pit of her stomach.

It was greedy, but she slid her hand to the root of his cock and opened her mouth, engulfing the tip in one movement. Thom’s broken moan echoed in the loft, his hips trembling with the effort to stay still while she sealed her lips over the sensitive head. She swirled her tongue slowly, listening to him gasp her name above her.

She swore the very sound made her slick with want. She closed her eyes, breathing through the sudden rush of desire in her blood. Achingly slowly, she slipped down an inch before licking her way back up, pulling away to press a filthy kiss to the head of his cock.

“You’re going to kill me, my lady.” Thom breathed.

“Never.” Athena promised. The very thought-

It reminded her of him in manacles. A cell door slamming closed. Cullen’s tortured eyes and Varric’s thick hand on her elbow. There was no room for those bad memories. Not now. Not here.

She erased them the way she knew best, guiding his cock back into her warm mouth and listening to his shattered noises echoing in the loft. They made her skin prickle while she slowly lavished Thom with attention, tracing her tongue over the veins and ridges of his cock. He tasted of clean, masculine sweat. She could smell sawdust, hay, and something uniquely Thom that made her dizzy with want.

That was before he began to spill praise from those sinful lips of him.

“Athena, yes-” He groaned. “Yes. Like that. Maker’s balls your mouth. The things you do with it could make a priest sin.”

Athena pressed her thighs together, trying to ease some of the unbearable pressure building between her legs. She made a little noise in her throat, beginning to bob up and down the proud length, covering him in her slick saliva.

“And you’re a damn sight down there. I could watch you all day. Never seen anyone look so damn good with my cock in their mouth, never had anyone make me feel-”

She sucked and Thom choked on his words, hissing and clutching at the ropes above his head. Athena smiled to herself, letting her free hand trace back up his thigh, scratching over his hip bones, before slipping down into the sensitive space just beneath his heavy balls.

She pressed her thumb firmly into that sensitive skin and listened to Thom choke on a shout of pleasure that nearly made her burst into giggles around his cock.

“I’m not going to last.” Thom moaned, fighting his restraints. “I won’t last and I want to please you, let me-”

Athena pulled off Thom’s cock with an obscene plop at the same time her hand drifted lower. Her thumb teased the tight muscle of his ass while she smiled brilliantly down at Thom, at her mercy in the best of ways.

“This pleases me.” Athena declared. “And I’ve brought stamina draughts. We have all evening, love.”

Her thumb slipped past the muscle and he almost ripped the rope from the post, instinctively arching into her touch with wanton greed. Before his moans even died into echoes she descended onto his hard cock again, swallowing his length in one quick movement.

He held himself tightly, always conscious of her comfort, but she could feel him trembling beneath her with all the fury of an earthquake or a storm. She crooked her fingers, searching for the perfect spot…

When she found it, he couldn’t help himself. He arched into her mouth in short, jerky thrusts and she sucked him eagerly. She hollowed her cheeks and flicked her tongue over his sensitive skin.

With a roar and the creak of ropes strained to their breaking point, Thom succumbed to his orgasm. Thick jets spilled into her throat and she swallowed quickly, careful not to make a mess they’d need to clean up. When he finished, he collapsed with a broken moan of her name.

Athena pulled her lips off and looked up at him, removing her finger gently and wiping it on the blankets, pulling off his softening cock. A thin string of fluid connected them for a moment before it broke cleanly.

Thom panted, limp and sated. Athena moved slowly, climbing gently over his form and reaching for the knots. A few quick flips of her fingers had them undone, unspinning and letting his arms fall.

She caught them before they could, examining the red marks of the rope with a wrinkle of her nose. She ran her thumb over them in apology, calling mana to her fingers.

“My lady… leave them.” Thom ordered gruffly. “It would… it would be an honor to bear the marks of your love.”

How could the foolish man just… say things like that to make her melt? She ducked her head quickly to hide her blush, rubbing the marks soothingly before bringing his wrists to her lips and kissing softly over the thrum of his pulse.

“As you wish, love.”

“And as soon as I catch my breath, I’ll be repaying the favor.”

Athena’s lips twitched and she leaned down, dropping his wrists to cradle his beloved face in her hands.

“As you wish, love.” She repeated, brushing her lips against his in a soft kiss. “As you wish.”

#shameless smut #wwkinktober2020 #co-zautumn #dadrunkwriting #dragon age #dragon age inquisition #female adaar/blackwall #female inquisitor/blackwall #female adaar #blackwall #blackwall is still in the stables

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sanstropfremir · 3 years

Text

it’s the episode 8 review!!! how many episodes is this show supposed to even be?

the stages from the episode feel like such a grab bag.... i still don’t understand why they didn’t put all the skill stages together, and then did the normal two episodes of the third round. i guess it makes sense that they didn’t want to have six stages in one episode and then three in the other two, but eh.

feeling kinda average on these as a whole, there’s a lot of good elements going on here but probably because of my own preferences (i don’t listen to ballads or blackpink) none of them really hit all the buttons. hopefully this will be a shorter review because i'm only going to do a quick rundown of the vocal stages; i dont really have that much to say about them because they are (intentionally) not very stage picture focused. i'll do the normal stage breakdowns for the other two though, even though i won’t rank them because we still need to see the other four!

vocal stages

sf9 + tbz + ikon

not much to say here other than wow, that’s RED. glad to see some more specific use of spotlighting and i always love when they light things on fire. i do wish they had fill lit with a brighter amber so we could actually get a bit more detail on their faces, especially because there’s six of them. i appreciated the simple blocking and only using one of the ‘stages,’ this stage didn’t need to be anything complicated and it wasn’t. i don’t love spinning camera shots because they make me a bit ill, and i'll forgive the constant cutting because it's a vocal stage and there isn’t any other real movement that we should be paying attention to. not my favourite of the two, i found it visually a bit too repetitive and complex at the same time. always love a crushed velvet suit though, so bonus points for that.

atz + skz + btob

i was braced for the worst and i dont know what kind of miracle happened but it was listenable! like i said, not a ballad fan but i could listen to eunkwang all day. i love a good plinth for a ballad stage, they’re one of my favourite devices in kpop design and i especially love it with a good groundlevel fog. glad they kept it black and white for the first half of the stage, it was in line with the blooming flower projections, and it made a very clear colour arc. they kept the visuals clean and simple with very little blocking at all, a very smart choice for this stage. not sure why they decided it would be the chanel time stage, which i disapprove of because i don’t like chanel, but i do love eunkwang’s shirt with the cameo buttons and the massive turnback cuffs, very 17th and also 19th century. i know they never do it because they dont read on stage normally but yes absolutely more thin chain pendant chokers on men, thank you! i also liked that there was emphasis on a more traditional lighting scheme, there weren't any crazy concert effects, just some good directional beam spotlights and the rear stacks in the climax.

third round stages

ikon

costume

the first look for them is definitely my fabourite of theirs so far. there’s enough variation in the jackets that the base layer of tshirt and jeans don’t look too repetitive. and i do love a good statement jacket. my favourite is probably donghyuk’s because i'm a sucker for fringe always.

i don’t like the backup dancers costumes, but given the way i’ve reacted to every other all black outfit for this entire show i don’t think anyone was surprised about that. these ones particularly irk me because they’re very matte; there's pretty much no texture or pattern differentials to define the shape of the limb, which makes them disappear when theyre all grouped together (mostly on the women). i think they probably were intending to make a statement/emphasis on the hands because of the sleeve cutoff point, but there were so many arm movements that were just totally missed because the costumes were just black voids. most egregious parts are here, with the female dancers up center. i can barely tell what the movements are unless i’m paying specific attention to them because there's so many black shapes. maybe it was the point for it to be an indiscernable writhing mass, but it wasn’t my vibe.

don’t love this styling on lisa. i hate peeptoe shoes in general but peeptoe boots are the worst offenders. they make you look like you have duck feet, no matter who you are. especially with a flat cutout like that. a universally unflattering shoe, and i would know, i worked in a shoe store for two years. this whole look is just pg-13 rihanna cfda awards 2014 and really nobody should try to run up against rihanna.

also i have to mention this because it’s actually really bothering me, but lisa’s backup dancers are serving very allgemeine ss looks and i do not like it. generally when we see ‘military’ uniforms in kpop theyre usually modelled off older styles (pre wwii) of western uniforms that usually aren’t in circulation, and they’re usually non-matching and embellished in ways that are deliberately not military. i know logically that it's a budget constraint+they’re backup dancers+current trend thing but the clean lines with only button detailing and the all black and that specific harness shape? it hit my brain the wrong way. i mean, technically those uniforms are designer because hugo boss did them, but the uh..... girlboss move didn’t land for me.

this is my PERSONAL OPINION please for the love of all that is holy do not come yelling at me about this. it’s all under a cut, you chose to read the post.

set

very glad to see some busy kitschy sets! this is a massive build, since there’s essentially three full sets here: the temple, the jungle, and the first tiny room. and all of them are very heavily decorated.

the starting room is just five walls on casters (wheels), that have been set into place with the cameraman and ikon inside at the start, and then once they exit the walls can be easily struck and rolled off set. simple, smart, and convenient!

i missed it the first couple times around but glitching out the projections in the temple for a split second was a neat little trick.

the silver and polygonal nature of the tiger/panther/cat(?) head is a bit disconnected from the gold and the aesthetic of the rest of the stage for me. the difference between the original room set and the jungle tracks, but the cat head isnt able to make the same leap for me. i'm also not a fan of mixing metals so maybe that’s why.

the tiger/panther/cat(?) head is a fun physical transitional device; i'm a big fan of tunnels and small transitory spaces like that and if they’re well dressed like this one they do so much for establishing place and mood.

i'm very sure i’ve seen this style of polygonal animal head with laser eyes before....i cannot for the life of me remember where or for what. i know wang yibo did a panther stage for sdc3 that had a human formation panther with green laser eyes, i wonder if i'm just crossing wires.

OH nevermind it’s because it looks like the witcher medallion. wires were definitely crossed.

lighting

using purple/teal lighting for the jungle was a smart choice because purple is the direct compliment to the gold and also is much more flattering on humans than green. green is one of the colours that humans can see the most variations in, so when something is green when it's not supposed to be (like human skin), we register that very quickly and associate it with unease and sickness. you know how old fluorescent lights have that greenish tinge that kinda makes you feel ill? it's your cone cells and your brain recognizing that you’re looking at things that are not supposed to be green.

very clean colour arc, i love to see it.

sound

it’s.....fine? i don’t listen to blackpink and have no opinions on their music other than it's not my type. i dont really know what the thematic connection to the visuals is, which is not strictly necessary in a lot of cases, but i don’t particularly care for the conflation of ‘savage’ and a (presumably) precolonial religion that’s assembled from stereotypes of real colonized cultures. you can come at me about how ‘it's not that deep’ all you want but i am here specifically doing an in depth analysis, and i gotta point it out. i'm not here to pass judgement on you if you didn’t realize or don’t care or whatever, i'm just saying that it's important to consume content with a critical eye. what you do with that information is your own personal choice, but you should be aware of it at least.

staging

they took a big risk eating popcorn right before singing, and we definitely got some residual mouth noises of them trying to clean out their teeth. eating on stage is difficult in general because you have to make sure it's not going to dry out the performers mouths, because they dont have access to water and it takes WAY longer to chew and swallow something than you would expect. there’s a LOT of testing that goes into making stage food and guaranteed it’s not made out of what it looks like or what its supposed to be; i worked on a production of amadeus were we did literal weeks of testing amalgams of different desserts to make sure that salieri could actually eat the ones onstage without totally drying him out, because fun fact about that show, salieri doesnt leave stage like, at all, so there was no way to get him water. poor bloke.

i thought the blocking of this was really smart. the long take from the ‘normal’ room and transition into the jungle was super slick, even if that weird circle the camera did while pointed up at the ceiling was unnecessary and pointless.

bobby’s ‘acting’ was extremely funny and that’s the only way people are allowed to act surprised now. edvard munsch scream style only.

the pacing is a bit off and this time it wasn’t mnet’s editing that fucked it up. as fun as it is to have a feature, clearly she wasn’t allowed within proximity of the rest of them for covid or other yg related reasons, but it made for some extremely long transitions, especially the one out of her verse. it kills the momentum of the stage in that beat, even though they manage to pick it up after.

this is a very simple little narrative arc that’s easy to follow and doesn’t require any extra explaining. which is exactly the kind of arc that groups should be doing at this stage in the game. this is a good formic step up for ikon!

i thought the turning off of the monitor at the end was fun and a good callback to them watching the videos at the beginning of the stage. a nice clean way to make it circular.

skz

costume

FINALLY something different on the skz boys! these were mostly fun eboy looks for them, and i like it on the basis that it's not the same as the last set of costumes.

bang chan out there with his thigh OUT and a (fake) bridge piercing? LOVE to see it. great work.

(copy-paste every thing i’ve said about backup dancers wearing all black)

the backup dancers that were dressed as bystanders/extras were great! they should have kept that with all of them because it would have given a little more shape to the choreography and establishing what function the backup dancers were supposed to have.

set

that is meant to be a giant rice cooker on stage, right? i think so because it's a god’s menu mashup? if that's not a rice cooker i have NO idea what its supposed to be

there’s only two large setpieces here, which was a smart way to go. i LOVE the subway car doubling as the truck, even if the truck itself makes no narrative sense. what a fun way to double the use of a single big piece. you’ll be able to see the way it moves in the full cam but it splits down the centre and there entrance doors at the back with attached stairs that bang chan and the dancers use to climb up.

lighting

not a whole lot happening here. i like the cool white leds in the subway car and the contrast with the more warm tones of the outside, which is good atmospheric establishment, but i can't discern a visible arc.

not a fan of these projections; they’re in line with what we’ve seen from skz so far, which is: extremely literal. i dont think they’re that distracting, but they’re not to my personal taste. they really should have kept the comic panel theme that they did for changbin’s first verse, because that was inventive and fun to watch! and a great atmospheric indicator! i would love to see a bit more experimental projection use but it's hard when they don’t have a lot of time to build these stages and the lighting team is definitely working remotely.

sound

i love that they made the choice to do some actual talking, it’s a good gimmick and it works for the deadpool/comic book/fourth wall break theme, but australian accents take me the fuck out i am so sorry i cannot listen to either felix or bang chan speak english without laughing uncontrollably.

i don’t like this arrangement but i'm not surprised about that, given my predilections. i'm also tired of skz shouting STRAY KIDS in every performance they do. i know on music shows it's probably more relevant and yea producers tags are a thing but we’ve been watching this show for nearly two months at this point. we know who you are, you can stop yelling. be more creative with it!

staging

my biggest issue with this stage is that it doesn’t have a payoff. there is an arc here: they’re stealing the truck, but why are they stealing the truck? who are they stealing it from? who are they fighting against? it's kind of important in a stage where the theme is stealing and fighting someone that you tell us who that is. in both of ateez’s previous stages were they were both stealing (rhythm ta) and fighting (wonderland), they made sure to show us who the villain was. there needs to be tension for a big blowup climax to actually pay off. whether it be against a a balloon arm kraken or a fascist government. this stage could have reached that next step if they’d just done a little bit more exposition.

there were a lot of fun choreo moments here, and this is probably my favourite choreo of theirs so far. i thought the whole first bit in the subway car was excellent and a very fun play on those viral videos that we used to see roll around every so often of dancers doing routines in subway cars.

did it need the guns? not in the slightest. more on this point later. i could talk more about weapons and weight here, but i’ve done that several times already.

like with the tbz game of thrones stages, theyre relying a little too much on the audience's preconceptions of the source material in order to carry the theme. the guns are there because deadpool likes guns, but they don’t actually use the guns for anything? the most we get of the stealing segment is felix and the safe, which admittedly is a great bit with him leaping over and under the ‘laser’ lines (theyre likely led strips). because comic books are by nature procedural and deeply tied to narrative, it's unsatisfying when there’s no tension and no payoff.

HOW did we manage to get two stages that are blackpink covers with remote/tv static gimmick and durags? i know the slot machine of kpop tropes is not very big but surely the probability of hitting triple sevens on this one was pretty low. i’m pretty meh on both of these stages overall. skz was unsatisfying but i loved the choreo in the subway bit so that bumped it up a little ahead of ikon’s in my personal preferences, but i'm reserving my actual rankings for next week. assuming we get the other four stages next week and they dont do something stupid and only show two. which they very well might. i’ve stopped trying to understand why mnet does things the way that they do.

as always the ask box is open, drop your comments/questions/personal opinions, i love to hear ‘em! but don’t be rude just because some of this is touchier subject material.

#kingdom #ateez #btob #ikon #sf9 #the boyz #stray kids #military uniforms are a weird one and i always find it a bit....(squiggly face emoji) when they get used in kpop stages #everybody is one of the exceptions because its used as a direct critique #but this is a very personal opinion as someone who has done a lot of historical research on military uniforms in particular #so im hyperaware of that kind of thing #be cool about this one people please and thank you!#im so glad this came in under 3k #kingdom review #kpop analysis #text #ive had to write a lot of deeply critical art practice analysis in the last week and i would like to sleep

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divinefireangel · 3 years

Text

SF9 comforting their sad S/O will include:

SF9 x GN! Reader mini headcanons.

Author's Note: Ya girl is sad. She's had two continuous shitty days and wanted to feel a lil comforted. Classes are taking a toll on me so do enjoy this piece I wrote in like 2 hours because I finally got time😭. It's probably bad 💀💀

Warnings: All ages and all readers (nothing specified with respect to gender, appearance, etc of reader).

Youngbin

He would want to find out who or what made you sad at first. If it's an actual person, they are doomed because he's gonna get angry

You remember that time on a JaeBin Vlive when a fan mentioned that their boyfriend cheated on them? Yeah kinda like that

Will definitely give great advice while hugging you

Pets your hair

Gives you a head massage if you have a headache due to all the crying

Forces you to take a nap

He's gonna be like a bright and positive mirror of sorts, showing you the nicer outlook on things and your problems, helping you change your perspective to a healthier one

Inseong

The first thing he does probably is a sad pout because his baby is sad 🥺

Embraces you in his arms, makes you feel small and protected for some reason I always forget that's he's one of the tall ones

He talks to you till you calm down and are ready to talk

Even if you aren't sure you want to talk about the problem, he will go on till you are comfortable and ready

Makes you a hot beverage of choice

Cuddles you to sleep.

No really. He doesn't move. Doesn't let you move.

You just accept defeat and fall asleep while laying on top of him

Jaeyoon

He would like to establish a small physical touch first and foremost

Will take your tiny hand in his and rubs his thumb over your knuckles

Kinda like testing waters, to see if it's okay for him to hug you and carry you to bed

Once he gets a positive reaction to his action, he become protective boyfriend 101

Looks at you with big curious eyes

Offers you soft smiles when you look at him

Kisses your face sweetly while squishing your cheeks

Starts humming a soft tune, like a lullaby to soothe your mental pain

Will cry if you cry

Sanghyuk

You don't even have to be visibly upset for him to know something is wrong

Makes the stupidest jokes ever lol

Prays with everything that those will work

If they don't, no worries

He sets up an impromptu mini date on the terrace

Goes all out to make you smile

If you wanna talk, he's all ears and listens to every detail as though his life depends on it

Once all your feelings are out of your system, he gently guides you to your feet

Takes your hands and puts them around his body and hugs you while dancing side to side

Seokwoo

Our fav tall baby boy

What will he not do if you're sad

Picks you up like a child

Holds you close to his body

Cooks you something sweet

Puts on your fav show or movie

Great at providing distractions

Sings you to comfort

No matter what happened, he assures you that it won't happen again, and even if does happen he'll be there to remind you about how you've overcome this situation already once and that you have the strength to endure it again

Juho

His face becomes so small when he sees you sad omg

Pouts and walks over to you to hold you against him

Hides your head in his chest

If you're laying on the couch then he hugs you lika a koala on a stick

Beckons his cute cats over to cuddle with you both

They rub themselves against your bodies this feeling is so serotonin filling

Kisses the apple of your cheek a lot

Back rubs and belly rubs to have any form of touch

Plays with your hair and fingers till you slip into slumber

He'll slowly and carefully slip out of you and cooks you something so that when you wake up, you can eat your tummy full

Yoo Taeyang

This gif omg

Our lovely sunshine

All he's gotta do is give you his sunshine smile and you're done for

But sunshine's a lil cloudy because the star he revolves around is upset :(

Pouty baby but he's ready to fight, if necessary

Rubs you tears away for you 🥺

Takes you on a lovely stroll in the park, hand in hand, swinging back and forth

Picks up pretty flowers for you

If you don't feel like going out, he will sway with you in your living room to soft music

Hums along with the music while his sky becomes less cloudy :)

Youngkyun

Opens his arms wide open for you to run up to him forgetting all your worries

Hugs you tight enough to block the air flow of your lungs

Caresses your cheeks and shoulders

Somehow, even I don't know how, convinced you to get ready to go outside

You go to a coffee shop, your favorite, first and then you go to his cat cafe

Once you find a comfortable spot there, he coerces you to cuddle him not caring what people think

Seeing you both so close to each other, the cats are naturally drawn to you both

Gives you great and deep life advice that he stole from Youngbin 💀

Kisses the side of your head soo many times there's probably a dent there now

Chanhee

Straight up asks you what you want him to do

He'll do anything for you

Even be nice and accept his hyungs' affections

If you have no answer, he will help you change into comfy clothes, make you tea, wrap you up in a blanket burrito like a newborn, sit behind you and help you drink the tea

Once you've consumed that, he will slowly start talking about his day, pausing after each significant event, waiting patiently for your input

Realizing that his voice is making you feel drowsy, he continues to talk to you about the randomest stuff until you enter a state of slumber in his warm embrace

#sf9 #sf9 x reader #sf9 headcanons #youngbin #inseong #jaeyoon #dawon #zuho #rowoon #yoo taeyang #hwiyoung #chani #sf9 fluff #sf9 reactions #sf9 scenarios #sf9 writings

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imaginesfora3 · 4 years

Text

It’s About the DRAMA [Sumeragi Tenma]

(Another commission by an awesome person who is endlessly patient with me! There’s a second part that has smut in it that I’ll be posting at a later date. Please enjoy! And if anyone would like to commission me, please message me over tumblr so I can give you my details~)

After the spring plays production, you thought it would be smooth sailing when it came time for the summer troupes.

You had managed to gather enough people, all of who had interesting characters, but you’d dealt with that before, right? Part of being a director was overcoming the challenges and obstacles that were presented even if you never knew exactly what would be thrown your way. You were eager to help these young actors learn how to grow, to see them on stage with your own eyes after you watched them put their blood, sweat, and tears into practice. At least, you felt that way about every single one of them aside from their leader, the one who had the most acting experience and who you thought would have an easier time.

You and Tenma hadn’t exactly started off on the wrong foot but it was made apparent to him from the beginning that you weren’t one to be trifled with, quickly shutting down anything rude or demeaning he had to say to his fellow troupe members. Tenma had never worked alongside someone like you as most others were just used to putting up with his attitude and accepting him for who he was but you had no intentions of doing so. You called him out, you criticized when necessary, you proved every day that you were seeing him as he wanted to be seen, not movie star Sumeragi Tenma but newbie to the stage Sumeragi Tenma. As much as he felt like you put your foot down on his actions more so than any of the others in the troupe it made him crave your praise knowing it would be genuine and not just because of his reputation.

Tenma wanted to do good.

He wanted to impress you.

But why did it seem so damn hard to do?

“We need to talk.” Tenma cringed at your tone of voice, immediately feeling like a child who was about to be scolded by their mother. His own mother had hardly taken that tone with him as she wasn’t in his daily life often enough to do so but he’d heard it from the TV moms who he acted alongside. He bit his lip to keep himself from showing his discontent verbally, simply nodding his head and following you out of the room where the rest of the summer troupe were practicing.

“Tenma…” He already knew what you were about to say from the mildly annoyed look on your face and the way your arms were crossed, but that’s not all that was there. There was concern, too, some worry that perhaps maybe Tenma wasn’t suited for the stage life after all and that set him off.

“If they don’t listen to the advice I give then what’s the point!” He threw his hands up, trying to keep his voice even but knowing the two of you were likely being eavesdropped on anyway. “I don’t think they’re completely unredeemable but…!”

“Have you considered changing the tone of your voice when you’re delivering your advice? Or even thinking about the way they perceive it when you’re barking orders at them? Tenma, you’ve got talent and you’ve got plenty of potential, no one is doubting that. But you have to realize you’re part of a team now. Why do you always think you have to do everything on your own?”

Because he’d always done things alone. He’d been independent since he was young, he had to be as he was left to his own devices and then when his own acting career began, he was thrown into a world of adults that forced him to grow up quicker than he’d like. He mimicked the way the others around him talked, the way they treated each other, and he’d never been reprimanded by anyone the same way that you were. He can tell that it’s not out of anger, that it’s not that you have something against him personally, but that he’s holding himself back by not allowing himself to make connections with everyone he’s acting alongside including you.

“Sometimes they might not understand how important your words are or they think you’re just looking down on them when you’re not, and when that happens, I’ll be there to support you Tenma.” He’s all too aware of the hand you’re putting on his shoulder now but he makes the extra effort to keep looking into your eyes, though he can’t say that calms him down. All he can think about is how he’d never had someone clash with him like this before, how he’d never had someone willing to tell him what he needed to hear rather than what he wanted to. To have you not only want to do that for him but also acknowledging his talent, saying that you wanted him to stay as summer troupes leader, it spoke volumes. “Now stop acting like a spoiled brat and go be a leader!”

Tenma scoffed at your clear teasing, thinking about how cute the mischievous smile on your face looked right now, “Yeah, yeah. Takes one to know one.”

Tenma returned to practice that night a new man, willing to listen to the other troupe members and learn how to help them on an individual level. He found that they were people with passions much like him, people who loved acting and wanted to throw themselves in, and he found himself a little proud that, when he actually opened his eyes and stopped being so angry for no reason, he found they appreciated his acting skills more than he’d first realized. He knows he never would’ve changed if he hadn’t met you, if you hadn’t been the person who was willing to stand up to him, and for that he’s forever grateful. The words you said to him that day, that you’ll be standing behind him when he needed you, meant more than anything.

Tenma just didn’t realize how far down the rabbit hole he’d gone.

The summer troupe didn’t find many moments to rest as they were on an advanced schedule as it was, trying to pack practice into just about every spare moment they had. But you’d scolded them more than once on pushing pi too far, Tenma included, which is why this little movie night had been thrown together. Tenma figured it could be a teaching moment even if it was technically downtime, knowing a few tips and tricks that could be translated over into stage acting when they popped up; he’s actually happy that even Yuki agreed to sit down with the rest of them, perhaps he’d even be able to teach him a thing or two and get some praise from you for a job well done.

The movie was your standard romantic comedy but the dynamics of the characters had always been interesting, and he found the others were picking out bits and pieces that they identified with. The movie and acting talk had Tenma opening his mouth more than usual, explaining how certain scenes were acted out and what might’ve been going through the actors head while said scene was going on; it was a lot different than acting on stage but the groundwork is what helped Tenma flourish, so hopefully he could translate the same thing to his team. Things got quieter when the more romantic bits popped up with everyone watching quietly, waiting for the scene’s end to chatter about the chemistry between the two characters on screen.

“…Doesn’t that remind you a bit of something?” Yuki piped up, glancing at Tenma from the corner of his eye but looking away when Tenma turned to him with an annoyed expression. Was he trying to call him out on something?

“You’re totally right!” Kazunari laughed, turning back to grin up at Tenma. “Man, it’s just like you and…!”

“Don’t say it!” Tenma growled out, already knowing where this was heading and wanting to cut it off before it went too far. He’d already been teased relentlessly and called a whipped dog by Yuki for how often he tried to avoid arguments with you now, he didn’t need to add more fuel to the fire by having to defend himself from these accusations. Plus, why was it any of their business if he felt some type of way about you? Clearly things wouldn’t work out considering you were older than him and probably not interested in some kid but… He was getting too far into his head now, a blush rising to his cheeks as the possibility of getting to be your boyfriend flashed before his eyes. This was not going to go the way he wanted it to.

“Sorry Tenten! You’re very obvi about it, you know? I can’t blame you~”

“I’m getting a drink,” Yuki suddenly announced as he stood up from the couch, “I’ll be back.”

Without the main instigator there to start another fight about Tenma’s unspoken feelings he finds himself relaxing as Kazunari’s attention is turned to Misumi, who was changing positions rapidly to find the most comfortable way to lay on the ground. He watched with minor amusement even if he pretended to be annoyed with their antics, knowing he cared about them all far more than he wanted to let on. Perhaps Kazunari did have a point, maybe his feelings for you were really obvious, but again he wonders if that even matters. If he confessed to you right now what would you say? Would you be shocked to hear it or would you nod as though you’d known all along? He disliked getting caught in fantasy situations but this is one that had plagued his thoughts while he was curled up in bed at night, and with no one to shake him from them, it invaded his mind now, too.

A few minutes pass before Yuki returns with his juice in hand.

“You took a while,” Tenma grumbled, “We want to finish this movie tonight.”

“Sorry, I was busy talking with the director. She was getting herself something to eat.”

Tenma doesn’t recognize he’s being baited at all because his thoughts are still almost solely on you, about you, and he realized that he missed you. It had been a few hours since he’d last seen you at dinner but he could spend all day by your side without getting tired of you, in fact, he’d prefer to do that. He gets antsy in his seat as he doesn’t want to pause the movie yet again but what if you were in there still? He could casually chat with you, see how you feel about how everyone’s coming along, ask if you’re starting to appreciate what a great leader he is for his troupe…

“I-I’m kinda thirsty. Just keep watching without me, I’ll be back.”

“…Why didn’t you just ask me when I went in there a second ago?”

“Because I knew you wouldn’t get me anything, brat.”

A fair point but a smirk found its way to Yuki’s face and he kept his mouth shut for the time being despite the variety of snarky comments that wanted to spill out. This fight was better saved for later tonight when the two were alone in their room as Kazunari and Misumi continued to be distracting. Tenma returned from the kitchen a few moments later without a drink and looking rather sullen, refusing to meet Yuki’s eye even as the boy verbally snickered at his downtrodden expression.

“Where’s your drink?” Kazunari asked innocently, head tilted so he could look back at Tenma.

“Nothing I wanted to drink in there. Shut up and pay attention to the movie.”

Tenma was in a sour mood the rest of the night and felt incredibly grateful when it was time for bed, ready to be done with reality and get lost in the dram world where things were exactly as they should be. It was unfortunate for him that Yuki was his roommate as there was no such thing as peace for him. No safe retreat for him to curl up in and think about all the things that he wished could come true, to think about your happy face after he performed perfectly in this play, maybe you’d even give him a kiss on the cheek as congratulations for being so successful-

“I finally figured out why a hack like you chose to stay with a group like Mankai.” Tenma knew it was going to be the start of another fight but his emotions got the better of him as they always did and he whipped his head over to glare at his younger roommate who was still casually getting ready for bed. “I didn’t know cougars were your type.”

“What the hell are you talking about?!”

“This is exactly why you’re a hack, hack! You can’t even hide your feelings for her. Going into the kitchen right after I said she was in there… You really thought that was true?” Yuki scoffed as he made his way into his own bed. “Whatever… There’s no point in arguing with someone as deep in denial as you. Not like you have a chance anyway. Goodnight.”

Tenma wanted to argue but his heart ached at the truth in Yuki’s words, his mouth hanging open even as the lights in the room were turned off and Yuki’s breathing evened out. He wanted to argue until he was blue in the face that he didn’t have romantic feelings for you, that being around you definitely wasn’t the highlight of his day, and that having you as his director was certainly not one of the best things that had ever happened to him. But how could he fight against the truth? The worst part was he was painfully aware of how he felt, of how much his daydreams helped him get through each new day where you weren’t his, of how fruitless this situation felt due to all the differences that divided you. The heart wants what the heart wants is a saying that now plagued him daily.

The next day only proved to be worse.

Hearing that his father had found out all about his joining the Mankai Company left him in a worse mood than usual, and he had no intentions of backing down. He’d worked so hard, he’d started to bond with you and the members, and despite the short amount of time he’d spent around all of you he didn’t want to imagine a life without Mankai in it. His words were confident as he told everyone in the troupe that he’d convince his father one way or the other but in reality, he knew his father was as stubborn as he was when it came down to it. There might be some drastic measures Tenma had to make to get his point across but he couldn’t leave you like this. He couldn’t make you scramble to find someone without even half the talent he had.

It went better than expected.

When he’d stormed back to the house later that night he hadn’t expected to see you waiting up for him and he internally panicked, not wanting you to see the new black eye he was sporting. He and his father had gotten into it, the fighting becoming so passionate even his mother couldn’t separate them. The punch had shocked him to his very core but he didn’t let it deter him, still determined to not let his hard work all be for nothing. Tenma had walked out of that house with his father cursing at him, perhaps even hoping Tenma would fail just to prove a point, but he tried not to let that get to him. He got to go home back to you and that was enough to keep his body moving despite how exhausted he was.

“Tenma!” Your eyes widened as they immediately found the wound on his face, “What happened with your dad?!”

“He punched me. Hard.”

“I can tell, thanks!” You grabbed ahold of his arm and pulled him into the kitchen, settling him down into a seat as you listened to the rest of his story while looking for the first aid kit. He didn’t think it was a big deal at all but you seemed incredibly worried about him, fretting over his well-being while cursing his dad under your breath. Tenma had nearly laughed when he heard you mention something along the lines of ‘I’ll punch him in the face and see how he likes it’ but he worked hard to keep a straight face, finding that extra hard to do once you were seated in front of him and scanning his face again.

Tenma felt like his heart might beat right out of his chest with how closely you’re scrutinizing him, an odd weight settling itself on his chest after all that had just happened. His father’s physical punch hadn’t hurt nearly as much as the emotional impact it had on him, the only thing able to distract him from that pain right now being you. You were doting over every little bruise and cut on his face, fingers brushing against his skin. His heart fluttered hard in his chest and he tried not to show his discomfort on his face as the feelings you were bubbling closer to the surface. Every touch sent electricity through his veins and finally, finally, it became far too much for him to handle.

“I’m not a kid, I can take care of myself!” He insisted, pushing your hands away and refusing to look at your face; he knew you’d be giving him a disapproving glare for his outburst when he’d let you dote over him for this long.

“If you’re not a kid why are you acting so damn childish, Tenma? What are you trying to prove here?”

He wanted to prove that he was a man, that he was strong and that he could take care of himself. Who would want a boyfriend who couldn’t say those things? Who would want a boyfriend with so many familial issues he was actually so touch-starved that even the simplest of your touches nearly brought him to tears? He bit down on his lip hard and you could see all that he was going through, the pain on his face translating over quite well. You wanted to continue what you were doing but there was no point in pushing Tenma’s boundaries more, not when you’d already made so much progress with him. You sighed in defeat but reached over to grab the ice pack from the fridge, brushing his hair out of the way and placing it on his cheek where the punch had landed.

“Just put the ice on your face and be quiet,” Your tone is one that tells Tenma you have no intention of backing down no matter how much he rejects your care and he can’t tell if you’re doing this out of obligation or genuine worry for him. He knows which option he wants more than anything but denied that you’d ever feel such a way about him, also denying his own disappointment that he already saw you as being unreachable. He’d never felt so close yet so far from a person before in his life but everything about you seemed to keep him drawn in, refusing to let his heart move on.

Time healed all wounds, didn’t it?

In the end, Tenma hoped that these unwelcome feelings would make themselves scarce, that perhaps it was just a puppy love that would fade away with time.

He didn’t realize how wrong he was.

#Sumeragi Tenma #Tenma Sumeragi #A3 #A3 Imagines #Act #A3 x Reader #A3! x Reader #A3!#A3! Imagines #Sumeragi Tenma x Reader #Tenma Sumeragi x Reader #Commission #Scenario

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themousefromfantasyland · 3 years

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The Yule Man (7/7)

Told by ME

This was meant to be a short story, but it became too big, so I separated it in seven parts. I want to turn my blog in a space where I can share my writting every once and a while.

This is the first time I post one of my stories on a public space. This is the first time anyone besides my sister will be able to read, so I'm pretty exciting and anxious. I want honest criticism. I hope you all enjoy it.

The threat of Mr. Müller grew day by day. Mia saw each day up to five to eight men surrounding the mansion. Chris, along with all her siblings continued oblivious to it all.

They kept and kept appearing, not showing to anyone, only her. Franz Müller liked games. The more twisted and sadistic, the better.

Mia and Chris had made a promise of always been honest to each other. On that moment nothing could take him out of the idea that Mia hid something from him. He tried to ignore the feeling. He wanted so much to believe in her.

The nostalgia by the fireplace on those Yule Days eased her mind. Cuddling with Chris, hearing their siblings’ stories. She wanted the world to stay that way forever.

Then the Yule Log turned to ashes.

In the middle of the dawn of Yule's last day, she got up running and invaded her mother's bedchamber. She didn't tell anything to Chris. Not even dared to wake him up. She jumped from bed and went straight to her mother.

"I need help." She started saying frenetically. "They are after me. Mr. Müller wants his money, and I don't have how to pay it."

Mrs. Hayek looked at her with disdain.

"Of all the people in the world, why you choose me to ask for money." She said enjoying each syllable of that sentence.

Mia couldn't resist. She spilled bitterness again.

"Because you're the only one here whose opinion about me doesn't matter."

Mrs. Hayek stood up.

"You aren't helping your cause." She continued saying. "Typical, you only here for my money. If you had been a decent daughter, you would be closer to me."

Mia shouted back.

"It was you who close yourself out of the world. My father struggled to maintain these gates open to the town, to the community. And you closed them off for good. You don’t even know the state that Arnsberg finds itself now."

She shut Mrs. Hayek’s mouth.

“You don’t know nothing what’s happening outside.” She walked near the door. “Sophia is getting married and Fritz will move to another town.” She closed her eyes. “I’m getting married too.”

That took her mother by surprise.

"With that boy. The Yule Man! How?"

Mia said dismissive:

"I don't know. I don't understand his world.

Mrs. Hayek stepped closer to her.

"Magic always leads to trouble."

"He's mortal now. He found a way and now he wants to spend time with me. I don't have the heart to tell him I'm stuck in this mess." She sat by her mother’s bed. “This year was so hard to me. I almost lose my business. I was stupid. And now Cat’s-eye’s men are running around here.

“Are they here?”

Her mother growled like animal, but this time, the unthinkable happened. She sat close to her daughter and did the only thing she believed would never be necessary n her life, to be vulnerable.

"I know what you think of me. Yeah, I was racist when I was younger. I was also foolish and insipid. I wanted his money."

Mia didn’t understood that.

"You didn't changed that much. Why are you telling me that?"

Mrs. Hayek started to yell.

"I want to salvage our relationship. I'm tired of spending the Yule days without you."

She stopped. Her voice sounded lower and calmer now.

“I pushed everyone away. The truth is that I miss your father, I miss the Solstice Eve balls. I miss when you four were little. I miss everything.” Bitter tears flowed down her face. “I am getting older Mia. I have so many regrets. Take all the money you need and fix this mess.” She paused. “And enjoy the short time you have with your Yule Man.

Mia hugged her mother. So much resentment lasted in both of them, but maybe this could be the start of a new beginning for both. Maybe.

A loud rumbled awakened Chris.

“Mia?” He woke up in an empty room.

He heard voices, murmurs, coming from upstairs. Perhaps if she were there, if the room weren’t empty, he would not have the idea to see what produced that sound. The idea of something bad happening with the Hayeks stroked him as the first thought. Inexperience with burglars and robbers also could be the reason for his behavior. He lit a single candlelight and went to check that sound.

The dark still reigned over all the rooms. Looking by the hours marked in the clock, sunrise would not delay coming. He slowly walked upstairs, to the area where Mr. Hayek kept his office. Mr. Müller had sent his five best burglars. For days they studied the Hayek Mansion. They counted each servant, each worker, each resident, and each visitor. They knew even where all of them slept. They burst a sealed vault with the minimum of noise. Yet, there is always someone to hear, there’s always casualties.

They surprised Chris and grabbed him from behind before he could scream. They took out all the money they could put their hands on. When they were ready to go, they release him. They knew he would scream. They knew even a single shot would wake everyone in the house. They proceeded anyway because they wanted them to know that they were there. It was part of the fun.

Chris received three shots when he tried to run. He fell against the floor without at least understanding what had happened to him.

"Tell Miss Hayek this is her late Yuletide present." One of them said before fleeing by the open window.

The fatal sound echoed through all the household. When the servants saw him there, they immediately called Thomas. Mia heard all the noise in her mother’s room and rushed to see what had happened.

The world became slower as closer as she came to her father old office. When she felt the blood on her feet, everything stopped. Mia threw herself over his body, getting on her knees and desperately brushing his face. His body shivered and trembled.

"No. No. No." He screamed and cried on her lap.

He felt the emptiness growing inside him, the nothingness. He knew if it engulfed him there would be no way out.

"Mia, the woods. Take me to the woods." He shouted to her. “Please. I don’t want to go. Not now!” He sobbed.

Mia turned to her brothers.

“I need help carrying him.”

Mrs. Hayek appeared behind them.

"Take the sleigh."

The sleigh had been bought recently, a one-horse open sleigh. Mia and her brothers carefully placed Chris's body over it. Soon she dashef off the golden gates into the winter landscape. Her siblings stood speechless. Mrs. Hayek stayed behind, alone, wishing for a miracle.

Chris fighted to maintain his eyes opened. He knew if he closed his eyes, he wouldn't be able to open them again. The north wind surrounded them. It howled and brushed through their bodies, as if screaming and already mourning.

Chris heard the voices, full of pain and hatred. He cried desperately and shouted.

"It's too late." He sobbed.

Mia stopped the sleigh next to tree large threes near an abandoned road.

She rushed to his side.

"Remember when we stayed in that hotel in Lichthafen City.” He said not holding back the tears.

"No, Chris stop!" She shouted in pure anger.

“I filled our room with sand.” He laughed. “The sand, the sun, the tiny seashells.”

"Stop!" She shouted again.

"I don't want to go."

His vision started to fade away.

"No, no, no!" His body struggled with all strength left in him.

He stopped fighting and stared deep into her eyes. Calmly, he said:

"You changed me."

She landed both hands on his face.

"I love you." He said faintly.

As he said that, the nothingness dragged him back for the last time, never to think or feel anything ever again.

The winds stopped, as if in infinite mourning. The first sun rays started to appear, and she stood by his side, crying, and shouting to the empty.

The sun raised, and the bright beams landed on Chris’ body, that dissolved into snow and ice. Under the first sun rays, the white snow shimmered and glistened before Mia's eyes. The end had arrived.

Mia returned to the Hayek Mansion without Chris, and without a body. She wasn't even sure if anyone would believe her.

Mrs. Hayek turned to her and sadly whispered:

"Magic only leads to trouble."

Mia returned to Arnsberg in the next day. Mr. Muller waited for her near her shop. He dressed as a true gentlemen.

"Hope you had a fantastic Yuletide." He greeted her with a smile. “Hope you don’t mind that my men took somethings away. Those were the correction interest, but you still owe me.

She paid what she owned to him and didn't dared to say more words.

“Happy Yuletide!”

After Chris’ death, Mia closed herself out of the world. She closed her tailoring shop one day and disappeared inside her own apartment. No one of her family could bring her out again. With time, it became their duty to look out for her and her bills. Mrs. Hayek started to believe that if Mr. Müller's men didn't killed Mia, her daughter would finish the job on her own.

The months passed, and Yuletide arrive again. To everyone’s surprise, she dressed in her best clothes and roamed through the streets. That particular Solstice Eve was different. All expected the snow to arrive. When the intense cold started everybody assumed snow would soon come along. This was how it always had been.

Mia searched in all street alleys. Everyone bought their last time presents, blissfully unaware of her existence. She dashed through each possible place for a person to be found. The Yule days ended and with them all Yule logs turned to ashes. The traditional Yule snow was sadly missed that year.

During two more Yuletide seasons she searched through all Arnsberg for any sign of him. Snow stopped falling in the Yule days.

In the third year she gave up. Happy families had supper in their warm and cozy homes. Mia collapsed in tears in the corners where the light of the the lamplights couldn't reach.

She wandered alone back to home. Her house once had a well-lit Yule Tree. Holly and mistletoes once hanged in these walls. Everything felt barren now. She finally started to understand what Chris meant by nothingness. Her house was a tomb, and it opened to swallow her whole.

Her mom entered that place without any problems. Mia often let the door open. Cat’s-eye wasn't a threat anymore, as so with death.

Mrs. Hayek did her best to dress as well as when she was younger. Without her hair, she had to rely on sheets and scarves to decorate her head. Overall, she though she did a great job.

For the first time in fifteen years, the Hayek Mansion would host a Solstice Eve ball. if it depended on Thomas and Sophia, the mansion's doors would never close to the community again.

“Mia, it’s your mother.” She announced before entering.

From the couch, Mia gazed at her with anger.

"Mia, please. Come spend the Yule with us!” She nearly cried. “You can’t spend the holidays here in this state."

"I see him here. In every place, in every corner." She started to cry. "I still see him."

Mrs. Hayek hugged Mia.

"This isn't fair. This isn't fair." Mia sobbed on her shoulder.

"I know how it is." Mrs. Hayek mourned.

Mia jumped out of her mother’s arms.

"You don't know how it is." She shouted.

"Yeah, I don't. It would be foolish to say I was exactly in your shoes.” She sat on the couch and rubbed her forehead. “I loved a man. I thought I would have him forever, then one day, he's gone. Your world is in pieces, and it's your job to clean up the shards."

She started sobbing.

“When your father died I though I would join him soon. The Yule Festival was the worst. Everything reminded me of him. I went to the church. I though the Silver God could help me. It didn’t worked.”

"Does this pain ever pass?" Mia asked.

"I want to say it does, but it doesn't. You learn to navigate through it all."

Mrs. Hayek and Mia hugged again. Not as mother and daughter, but as two women who felt empathy and understood the plight of each other. For a moment, all their differences crumbled to dust.

Mia stared at bright lights of the town through the window of her apartment.

"Nothing lasts forever." Mrs. Hayek said. "I wish I could meet your father earlier. Free of prejudices and interests. He was a special man. I wouldn't give up the moments I spent with him for nothing in this world."

Mia stepped closer to the shelfs in the corner and picked a small bottle. Tiny, and full of white sand and she held it closer. Those memories, Mr. Müller would never take away from her.

And there's no more to my story. All stories come to an end.

#christmas #holiday season #my writting #yuletide #writters on tumblr #my story #The Yule Man

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sablelab · 4 years

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Covert Operations - Chapter 125

SYNOPSIS: While Jamie and Claire travel to their downtime destination, back at Section One, Madeline discusses her misgivings about the breach with Operations. They also get an unexpected call from Colum who knows more than he should about Section One. The plot thickens, suspicions are raised and the finger is pointed at Fitzgibbons and Fergus. As a result Murtagh receives a call to meet Madeline in the White Room and Fergus begins to freak out as he discusses his apprehension over Operations believing his story about the breach.

Chapter 124 and all other chapters can be found at … https://sablelab.tumblr.com/covertoperations

I am glad that you all enjoyed the last chapter as Jamie and Claire begin their journey to their destination. That place will be disclosed next Friday as I will be posting weekly for the month of June. However, I hope you will be pleased to know that all of July will be Jamie and Claire centred chapters. THANK YOU all so much for your replies, for the likes and for reblogging my story. It is very gratifying to know that others enjoy this story as much as I enjoy writing it. I really appreciate your continued support for me and for all of the Outlander fanfic writers.

CHAPTER 125

Madeline made her way to a private dining room for a breakfast debriefing with Operations about James Fraser and Claire Beauchamp and what she had planned for them when they returned to Section. There were also other things that had been playing on her mind that she wanted to raise with Operations. She couldn’t let go of the niggling unease in her head since the supposed breach and it had occupied her thoughts more than it should have. Section’s Head Strategist knew instinctively that there was something not quite right and Madeline wanted to get Dougal’s opinion about her intuitions.

Upon entering the room, she saw a stupendous breakfast laid out for them and approached Operations seated at the table. He gestured for her to come closer. “Good Morning Dougal … I see that you started without me,” she stated good-humouredly. He glanced up at her. “Where have you been Madeline? Come and join me before it gets cold.” Taking a chair opposite to him, she sat down. “Thank you. My … My … Christopher has outdone himself this morning,” she remarked upon seeing the fine breakfast spread he had prepared. “Yes, he has. What would you like?” Taking a croissant and accompaniments she placed them on her plate. “Sorry I’m late but I had some last-minute things I needed to attend to.” “What things?” “Just some eleventh-hour profiling for the Somalia mission.” “Let me know if there's anything critical.” “I will.” Glancing at her, satisfied with Madeline’s answer, Operations started the agenda for their briefing. “I wanted to discuss our convalescing operatives with you. I see that they left bright and early this morning.”

‘Yes. They wasted no time in leaving Section. Trust Jamie to want to get a good start on the two weeks we allowed them. Quite predictable under the circumstances.”

“Does this add more evidence for your file on their personal relationship then Madeline?”

“All of their information is data Dougal. You know I am very thorough when it comes to fraternization between active field operatives. They have always needed to be watched carefully.”

“Are we able to establish where they are going?” “No their trackers are down but Fergus can work on another way to locate them if you wish.” “I don’t think that will be necessary.” “Unless something comes up that requires them back at Section earlier,” Madeline added. Operations nodded in agreement. “You’re right.” He then looked at her for a moment with a quizzical expression at her statement. “You don’t think there is something that will recall them earlier?” “Not at the moment … but you never know. If we get new Intel on the Rising Dragons it could be a possibility.” “Do we have anything new?” “Not at the moment … but we have our people searching for anything of interest.” “Good. It seems that everything is going to plan. We can certainly pick up the Rising Dragons’ mission where we left off once they return to Section.” “Yes. Jamie will want to avenge Claire’s incarceration at the hands of the triad, so they’ll return fully recovered I’m sure when the two weeks is up. I’ll do a psyche analysis on the two of them before resuming the mission parameters.” Dougal nodded in agreement but noticed that his second in command seemed a little off kilter this morning. “Is something else bothering you Madeline?” he inquired. Given a perfect opening, she brought up the subject that had been troubling her for some time. “As a matter of fact, there is. I would like to discuss the breach with you.” “I thought that was done and dusted long ago but … I’m all ears. What is worrying you?” “It’s just a hunch, but I’m not completely convinced that it was a malfunction in the door mechanism that triggered the alarm.” “Why?” Operations asked offering to pour her a coffee. “I think that Mr. Claudel and Murtagh Fitzgibbons were somehow involved. They have been acting rather strangely lately. I did find them in the restricted area after all.” “Yes, but I thought Fergus’ explanation was reasonable. And they have been worried about Jamie and Claire.” “That may be so, but nothing those two do together is reasonable.” “What do you want to do then? Call them in?” ��Yes that was my plan.” “Very well, but I was satisfied with their answers but if it will make you happy go ahead.” “I will.” ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ As the two leaders were enjoying their meal, they were interrupted by an incoming call. Answering the phone Operations put it on speaker mode so that Madeline could hear his conversation with the person at the other end … his nemesis and brother Colum Mackenzie. Once again the head of Oversight seemed to know when there had been some crisis happening at One and they both held their breath as to why he had contacted them this time. ”Good morning Dougal.” “Colum. How nice to hear from you again so soon after your last visit. To what do we owe the pleasure?” The intonation of his voice was laden with insincerity.

Madeline interrupted the conversation before he could reply knowing that it was easier for her to talk to Colum than Operations given their antagonistic relationship. Her voice was laced with feigned delight. “Colum.” “Good morning Madeline … I trust that you are well?” “Very. So how can we help you?”

This was such an imposition. Whenever Colum Mackenzie rang or paid them a visit it spoiled Dougal’s breakfast and started him off in a bad mood for the rest of the day. Operations scowled waiting for his reply thinking a plethora of thoughts as to why his brother was calling Section One and all of them inane. However, they were certainly not expecting the reason for his call this time. Cutting to the chase he stated, “I want to know about the breach.” Taken aback Operations blurted out, “What?” “Don’t tell me you don’t know what I’m talking about Dougal. I want to know about the breach in security that happened at One. I want to know everything.” Flummoxed as to how Colum could possibly know such information or about the commotion that took place at Section One, Madeline and Operations both had a stunned look on their face. Recovering his composure before answering, Dougal raised his eyebrow at Madeline. As the enormity of the situation sunk in, his bewilderment quickly turned to ire at what he and Madeline must do. Somewhere in Section One there was a mole or Colum had managed to plant listening devices or surveillance that had gone undetected. They would need to get to the bottom of this treachery and fast.

Operations was furious and held his tongue … but just. “I’m curious Colum. How did you find out about the situation at Section anyway? After all it did happen days ago.” “Everything that goes on in all the Sections and not just Section One, is known to Oversight … remember that Dougal,” he warned. “I was waiting to be informed by you but obviously that was not forthcoming.” “I saw no reason to tell you,” he muttered tersely under his breath and took great delight in setting the record straight. “However, this time Colum, I’m afraid that your Intel is incorrect. What you call a breach was actually a malfunction in the system.” “Are you sure that was the case? I hope you were not compromised in any way?” “Absolutely. We ran down inexhaustible possibilities, but nothing was found. There were no casualties. No intruders were discovered and everything was contained. We're at full capacity except for Jamie and Claire.” Colum, however, pushed his own agenda forward and ignored Operations’ response knowing that his reply would incense the leader of One. “Perhaps I need to send in my team in to examine the situation anyway. Starting with department heads and key operatives.” Suspicious of his motives Madeline interrupted stating emphatically, “I see no reason for you to intervene. We’ve already seen to that Colum. We have our own people who have comprehensively done that. Don’t you trust our judgement?” ”What’s not to trust?” was his tacit reply enjoying their pickiness. Madeline was also acutely aware of the waves of anger that radiated from the man opposite her. She jumped to their defence not liking the tone of his question. “That’s provocative Colum. Are you implying that we can’t be trusted?” Immediately put on the back foot he tried to soothe over their chagrin. “Of course not. I was merely stating that what you have said is admirable and Oversight is thankful that you moved so expediently on the matter. However, that does lead me to another issue that may refute this statement.” “What?” Operations barked back incensed by his inferences and line of questioning but especially about his prying in Section One. His face darkened with anger while his brother’s conjecture provoked his budding volatile temper. Without preamble the Oversight leader continued, but the tone of his voice was far from happy. “Since you failed to notify me, I’m also just checking as to how are things going with Jamie and Claire’s recovery?” So that was it. He was peeved that they hadn’t notified him earlier of their decision. “By all means. I can answer that for you Colum,” Madeline replied. “You’ll be pleased to know that they were granted downtime for two weeks to recover fully, which they started this morning as a matter of fact. I hope that meets with your satisfaction and approval?” “It does. I will notify Centre that plans for Jamie and Claire’s recuperation have been implemented and that once they return the Rising Dragons’ mission can conclude. Or have you plans to continue without them? You do know that Oversight has the capacity to take over the mission if One is understaffed because they are on downtime.” Operations’ reply was gruff. His brother’s inference was confrontational as Colum knew that Jamie and Claire’s presence on the mission was vital. They had no plans to continue the mission without them but they did have Fergus working on possible leads from their informants for when they did return. The temerity of the man was beyond belief, after all it was on his orders that they were given two weeks to recover. Operations ignored Colum’s question and answered his statement about Centre. This Intel caught them both by surprise too knowing that Mr Lambert was also keeping tabs on them.

“Of course.” You know that Centre is closely monitoring this mission too don’t you Dougal, and that its success is paramount.” “We are doing everything we can to make sure that happens brother.” “Good … I’ll hold you to that rest assured. It will look extremely bad for One … and especially for you Dougal … if you can’t deliver the goods. Remember that nothing escapes Oversight and how you handle your two best operatives is of immense interest to Mr Lambert, so we are expecting great things of Section One. Understand?” Despite their dislike of the man, they needed to keep Colum onside … Centre too as interference from either was the last thing that either of them needed or wanted and it seemed that his brother was far too familiar with happenings at Section One. Operations was becoming more incensed the longer this conversation went on and he wanted to see the back of Colum once and for all. He and Madeline shared a look and with Dougal biting his tongue he replied succinctly, “Perfectly.” “Fine. Then I won’t hold you up any longer. Have good day.” ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Once the connection was terminated, Madeline turned towards Operations. The look on his face said it all and she was in no illusion as to how he was feeling. This conversation had been a bombshell. It was no surprise that his eyes were sleet grey with anger. Under the circumstances his reaction was to be expected. Colum only bought out the worst in him and this time he had really set the cat amongst the pigeons. Their day was anything but good now given the conversation they’d had with the leader of Oversight. They had always wondered why he used to turn up at Section unannounced armed with classified information about some crisis that had taken place at Section and now they were faced with the added dilemma of finding out how and why he was keeping tabs on them. In fact, it left many questions unanswered for them of things they needed to address and the sooner the better … the first being the breach and how Colum had known about it. Unfortunately, he had sown a seed of doubt and they couldn’t let it go unresolved. “Don't let this distract you Dougal. He was baiting you to get a reaction.” “Distracted! How can I not be distracted when Colum knows too much? This is serious Madeline. This is the second time that there has been a spilling of Intel. I want it to stop. Now!” “It does seem coincidental that he has been aware of happenings at Section too frequently of late. We’ve long suggested his involvement now we have to act.” “We need to get to the bottom of this once and for all. I want every operative scrutinized ASAP. Your hunch may prove to be right about Fergus and Murtagh after all.” “Maybe that's what Colum wants us to believe.” “You don’t think they have been feeding him Intel do you?” Her nagging suspicions had manifested and it all seemed to be tied into Colum Mackenzie. Madeline’s mind was already leaping forward to what she had to do although it pained her that the subjects were Fergus and Murtagh, but they needed to do what was necessary. There was a leak and it had to be contained. Operations would expect nothing less. She doubted that it was the two larrikin operatives but they may know something that could find the culprit responsible.

“No, but it’s possible. We need to get to the bottom of it and fast.” “I agree. Do it! If they are in any way responsible, I’ll cancel them myself.” ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Like Madeline and James Fraser, Murtagh Fitzgibbons was an enigma in Section. His pragmatic attitude and uncanny way of playing both ends against the middle, if it suited his own agenda had held him in good stead and kept him out of abeyance over the years. Section One’s munitions expert was a man of the sixties. He was a Hippie who had never grown up and was a living, breathing 60’s “time warp.” Murtagh’s demeanour was his kind-heartedness and his loyalty was hard-won and once given, hard to break. He knew all about Free Love, he’d been to Woodstock, smoked dope, loved the girls and left them wanting more. He was a total charmer; he could charm the birds out of the tree, a flirt who just loved the ladies. His laconic sense of humour and irreverent behaviour was a welcomed relief in a place that never smiled, never laughed, never loved.

His approach to his job demonstrated his cavalier attitude to the things he held dear, his munitions work and his communications devices. Murtagh was also a deadly, accurate manipulator of the system that incarcerated him, but he knew how to manipulate the system but still keep his nose clean. It seemed he had been in Section forever, for he had seen the changes of Command and had adapted to the different styles of leadership, perfecting his role in the scheme of things. He was his own boss and was left alone most of the time. He knew how to play their games to keep out of trouble. Yet Murtagh Fitzgibbons was an integral part of the team. He was Section One’s expert in explosives and firearms … the weapons specialist for the Section.

Except for his machinations and childish behaviour with his buddy Fergus Claudel, he observed and listened. He was the ears and eyes of Section One and never missed much of what went on in Section.

It pained Madeline to have to interrogate Section’s munitions expert and their computer whiz kid but under the circumstances it needed to be done. Nine times out of ten her hunches were proven correct but her initial misgivings about their behaviour now raised serious doubts in her mind about their loyalty to Section. Although Operations was satisfied that they were not responsible for the breach, could it be that they were the ones feeding Intel to their adversary Colum Mackenzie? Her gut said no, but her head said they needed to be questioned further. She had to be sure that they had nothing to do with passing on information and the only way to do that was the Section way ... in the White Room. No one was immune from suspicion including them and she was determined to get to the bottom of the breach and treachery in Section One once and for all.

Meanwhile in Munitions …

Murtagh Fitzgibbons was working at his post thankful that things had settled down at Section. Jamie and Claire were finally off on their downtime and he hoped that the two weeks would be the medicine they needed to fully recover. He was a hopeless romantic, when it came to these two operatives who Operations and Madeline had put through the ringer time and time again. It seemed that Section’s leaders were fixated on the couple and Madeline especially was always trying to gather data on their relationship. To all intents and purposes, it was platonic but he knew otherwise. He recognized a couple in love. He knew that feeling only too well and he wanted them to have a chance at some privacy on their downtime. Murtagh was a big softie and he wanted the best for the people he cared about … and Claire and Jamie were very special to him. God knows he knew that they needed time away from this hellhole. The Rising Dragons’ mission had been totally consuming and the two operatives had given their all thus far and had paid the ultimate price for their loyalty. They had been tortured and had nearly died on the last mission, so if he could help them in any way possible then he would do so, for their sakes.

Fergus had also managed to convince Operations that there had indeed been a malfunction that had caused the breach and had given him the proof to back his claims. They were off the hook and he was thankful that his buddy was able to think under pressure to come up with the scenario he gave Operations. Like he’d said to Fergus … there was no way of their leaders finding out that they had indeed set off the alarm or been responsible for the hullabaloo that ensued. Yes … everything was getting back to normal.

As he was busily working at his station loading the guns for the Somalia mission, his lady love Bóinne Rivière happened to join him. Happy to see her, Murtagh gave her his idea of a sexy rebel smouldering look and they shared one of their special glances. It was plain to see that they both enjoyed each other's company and he was giving the beautiful nurse his undivided attention. They were both laughing, sharing private jokes and Murtagh’s was concentrating solely on this tall, striking woman. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Hey, Murtagh.” He was oblivious to the fact that his friend, Fergus Claudel, had made his way to Munitions as he was fussing around Bóinne and was busy explaining one of his gadgets to her so he didn’t hear Fergus call out at first.

“Huh?” he replied not really paying attention to the sound of his pal’s voice. The nurse’s eyes glanced at the computer expert as he approached. Bóinne could tell by the look on Fergus’ face that he wanted a private talk with his friend. Aware that something was bothering him, she ended her chat with Murtagh.

“That's okay honey; I've got to go anyway.” He looked up to see Fergus approach munitions and realised why she had said what she did. Although her answered her, it was obvious he really wanted her to stay. She could see the disappointment in his gaze.

“I'll catch you later then.” Fergus now stood in his line of sight but Murtagh watched his girlfriend until she was no longer in view. He briefly shut his eyes lost in his own feelings and gave a breathy sigh.

“Wow! I haven't felt like this in a long time ... I … I think she might feel the same way.” “Murtagh ...”

Fergus had said his name in a wistful manner, however, the older operative failed to see that something was troubling his buddy. He was too wrapped up in his own euphoria at having been in Bóinne’s company. Ignoring the tone of his voice, he was unaware of Fergus’ mindset. Because he felt so happy, he thought that Fergus was also back to his old self as well. The thought that ran through his mind was about their last encounter with the breach. Murtagh knew that his friend would not be up for any new adventures in the near future except those that involved his area of expertise. He looked at Fergus and greeted the young techie with a jovial smile. “Hey what’s up amigo?” But before his friend could reply he prattled on about his own needs, his mind suddenly back on the woman who had just left. “I ... I need your help. Find out anything you can about her, something I wouldn't likely know.” “Look, I’ve ...” “Her birthday's coming up. I want to get her something really special. ... Please?” “… I've … gotta talk to you.” Although a little distracted with his own happy thoughts Murtagh replied, “I’m listening,” but when Fergus said his name imploringly again, he looked up at him realising that something was bothering his friend.

“Hey? Why the long face?” “I’m just a little nervous that’s all.” “Why? You still worried about the breach?” “Yeah, I am a little.” He immediately stopped what he was doing. “I thought you said everything went well with Operations. So why are you down in the mouth?” “Nothing I guess … just a feeling.” “Trust me, you’ll get over it,” he replied with conviction continuing again with the task at hand. “What if I can’t? I feel kind of guilty.” “Don't feel guilty. Everything has gone back to normal … you should be pleased.” “But Murtagh, we caused a security breach and I’ve got a bad feeling that something is going to happen. Operations was too compliant. They’ll find a way to blame us for sure.” “Don't worry about it.” But Fergus just wouldn’t let it go and continued venting. “Yeah, what do you think they're going to do if they find out? Huh? This is not a convalescent home!” This time Murtagh looked his buddy square in the eye trying to convince him that his doubts were not warranted. “It’s just your imagination. Why would Operations or Madeline blame us? They found nothing to implicate us and besides you gave Operations evidence that was irrefutable. What’s to worry about? Have they called you in?” His friend’s words made sense to him but still Fergus had this lingering feeling that scared him. “No. But what if they do? They’ll find out I was lying and put me in abeyance.” The weapons’ expert tried to diffuse the situation and the techie’s concerns once and for all. “I find that highly unlikely amigo. You’ll be fine. Don't agonize over it … you’ll only worry more. It’ll do your head in if you’re not careful.” “How do you do it Murtagh? How do you stay sane?” Fergus implored. “What's the secret?” “Knowing when to lie, and when to tell the truth,” he replied enigmatically. Fergus didn’t quite understand. “What do you mean? To them?” “Yes … and to yourself. At night you go to bed knowing you live in hell. That's the truth.” “And the lie?” “You wake up in the morning thinking that this day may change everything … you'll escape, you'll fall in love, they'll close the place up and send everybody home.” It finally dawned on Fergus what his wise friend was alluding to. “Then that night you have to face the truth again,” he replied reflectively. “Yeah. But in the meantime, you've accomplished what's truly remarkable. You've made it through another day in Section.” “Is that what Jamie and Claire do?” “I’d bet my last dollar on it.” “Thanks, Murtagh, I feel much better now.” Changing the subject he then asked. “So, things are going well with Bóinne I see.” Murtagh gave him a silly smile. “Yeah … you could say that. Hey, it’s her birthday tomorrow. I need to get her something that she really likes.” “Why don't you ask her?” He smiled at his friend’s naivety. “You ..., ah ..., don't know women very well, do you?” Fergus looked up at the older operative and met his gaze, before breaking into a big smile. He laughed. “You want me to pull up her file and check out her likes. Don’t you?” With crinkling eyes he grinned at him. “Yeah.” “Okay … I’ll get back to you with anything I find out.” “Thanks … I owe you one.” However, while Fitzgibbons was dispensing his pearls of wisdom to reassure a despondent Fergus and in the middle of their friendly banter about his relationship with the Med nurse Bóinne Rivière, Murtagh’s phone rang. He looked at his friend. “Wait here I’ll be right back,” he ordered then went into the back room to answer it. Picking up the handset Murtagh Fitzgibbons spoke into the receiver. “Hello?” ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Fergus Claudel was cooling his heels waiting for his friend to re-emerge from his back room, but he was taking his time about it. He was getting a little testy and those demons in his head he’d been talking to the weapons’ expert about reared their ugly face again as he began to think the worst.

“Hey … Murtagh? You okay back there?” he called out. When his buddy didn’t reply, Fergus decided to check if he was okay, and made his way into the back room to see what had happened and why Murtagh was taking so long in reappearing. On entering the room, he found his friend standing there listening to whoever was on the other end of the line with his head bowed and the receiver in his hand. He gestured for Fergus to be quiet and raised his hand to stop him from saying anything else. Seeing that the colour had drained a little from his friend’s face he immediately became worried about what was being said to his buddy. He watched Murtagh’s body language and knew something wasn’t quite right. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ “Yeah? … Oh ... I'll be right there,” he replied nonchalantly to the recipient on the other end of the line. He looked over at Fergus for a moment, then turned away from the quizzical look in his eyes.

Fergus knew one thing though; his buddy was talking to either Operations or Madeline. However, he couldn’t read his expression as to which one of Section’s leaders it was. “Is there anything else?” Murtagh asked realising what was required of him. “No … That’s all.” In a composed voice he responded. “Very well … I'm on my way.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ to be continued on FRIDAY 5th JUNE when we find out where Jamie has taken Claire.

#jamie and claire fanfic #jamieandclairecrossover #jamieandclaireau #outlander fanfiction #the lallybroch library #LFNoutlander #covert operations

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