#so what you dont like pan as much as bi. whatever. go do something else.

[total-drama-takes-takes-2]

lgbt thoughts

like the ethnicity post i really only have ideas about certain characters and the rest are up to whatever people think they are ^_^ i mean these are too, speculate whatever you want, but heres my interpretation of a few characters

joner: aroace. romance-neutral. this is all self projection on my part, i think joner as a character just prefers friendships to relationships and romance would make him uncomfortable but hes very supportive of others. he/him (impartial to she/her though)

scary: aromantic and unlabeled otherwise. romance-repulsed AND she's a hater about it. she/he/they

kelly: always been transfem somehow to me. transhet. they/them and VERY occasionally they/she, really depends on the mood

michela: bigender boygirl but doesn't really talk about it, especially in those words. would date whoever but high preference for dudes. would label her preference for guys as either straight or gay depending on the context. she/her

courtney: calls themselves non-binary for binary people but it's more complicated than that. sapphic with an itty bitty tiny like for guys they they're still sorting out (is it platonic? romantic? they don't know) . they/them

ass: doesn't care. doesn't know. definitely not cis but a part of it is just not wanting to be like other girls. has a lot of self-doubt over their identity and actually tends to move through labels quite quickly, so they use they/them as a catch-all neutral

max: i had a hard time with this one in terms of good rep and stuff like that, but i think it's safe for me to say max is a pretty binary trans guy. more or less transhet but hes more flexible when it comes to michela's identity. he/him

scruffy: transmasc lesbian and that was always the intention tee bee ach ^_^ they/them but sometimes they/he if they feel like it

fren: gay and definitely not cis but he's very mysterious about it. he/him

bonnie: like courtney also tells binary people that they're non-binary out of convenience, but they definitely don't feel like the term really fits them. not fem not masc not androgynous but something new entirely (goth). on a more serious note i do think the gender fuckery in the goth subculture made them realize a lot of things about themself when they first got into it. also a frequent label-changer when it comes to sexuality. they/them

patrick: unironically too obsessed with himself to be into anyone else in a romantic way /j. hes bad aro representation. hed slay in a QPR tho. he/him

julia: lesbian but she hasnt come to terms with it yet lol. i agree w the headcanons that shes aspec in some regard but havent put much thought into it. she/her

kitty: pan but adverse to romantic relationships. some kind of gender. also a furry i dont think ive mentioned it yet but they have a fursona and made patrick make one too. therres a canon patrick fursona in my notes. no set pronouns, tells people to use whatever

peter: bi and trans guy. tends to prefer girls and feminine presenting people for the most part! he/him

I don't know what sha-mod and mclovin are but they're definitely something. same with caesar, idk what's going on there but he's definitely not cishet.

I definitely need to write albert, phillip, and noco more to get a good feel for them. and everyone else i dont have any strong feelings on

[bi-robins-club]

jason had just settled onto his couch with a jane austen novel and his favourite peach iced tea when damian crept in through his window. he sighed internally and decided to simply ignore him. he had told damian to use the front door (nevermind the fact that jason rarely used the door) and more importantly? he was freaking comfortable. after a few minutes as jason flipped idly through the book, damian cleared his throat. jason sighed again, outwardly this time and reluctantly dragged his eyes up to his youngest brother. baby bat was shivering slightly from the rain outside and jason simply rasied an eyebrow as he sipped at his tea. scowling, dami stomped over to jasons bathroom to dry off. he rolled his eyes. how dramatic. damian was acting like he sentenced titus and alfred the cat to their deaths instead of how he was actually saving jason from deep cleaning his rain soaked carpet. (he was still going to deep clean the carpet the next time he tidied up but still)

when damian stalked back into the room, looking less like a wet, angry kitten and more like a dry, angry kitten, jason titled his head back and established eye contact.

"so what brings you over to my neck of the woods, demon spawn?"

instead of snapping back like jason expected, damian simply stood there looking extremely uncomfortable. he shuffled his feet, opened his mouth then closed it and sat next to jason on the couch he splurged way too much on.

"i don't know how to tell you this" dami began, hesitant "but i believe harper is experiencing thoughts of suicide"

jason jerked up, almost knocking over his tea (and what a damn waste that would be) before fixing damian with a look. he hadnt noticed anything different in roy lately but he knew more than anyone that depression acted strangely and was hard to pinpoint. his mind raced with thoughts of why roy might be suddenly suicidal, from a sudden relapse to not getting a happy meal toy included in his 3.99 box of clogged arteries. "why do you say that, damian?"

"i have been keeping an eye on his health since he became a close confidant to you and last night he said something worrying that i am still not able to parse the meaning of" jason smiled lightly at that, in damian speak he was basically declaring that he cared for roy- if for nothing else than for how happy he made jason. still he shook it off and asked what roy had said that was worrying dami.

"he was patrolling last night" jason knew that. roy had been picking up his patrols since jason had a nasty leg wound. it was the reason he wasn't out tonight. "and he was on the phone with an unknown person, though i am inclined to believe it was either Starfire or Canary" okay, still not surprising "and then he said that the only place he could die happy was between your thighs" oh hello blue screen. yes jasons mind was in the middle of rebooting but could you hurry it along? he almost missed what damian said next. "not only does he wish for death upon himself, he wishes for you to give it to him!"

"damian" jason managed, frantically trying to figure out a way to explain to his baby brother without including his sex life. "uhh its just an expression"

damians face brightened up slightly. "really? he does not wish to smother himself between your thighs?"

"yeah, its like...like just a way to say... mind your business? mmhmm" he struggled to get out, pulling an explanation out of his ass.

"you have told father to mind his business a thousand times but i dont recal you ever using that one. is it new?"

oh god. jason would rather die again than continue this conversation.

"uhh its only used if you're close to someone" jason didnt know what he didnt wrong but dami's eyes widened in clear worry. "i thought you and father were reconnecting? has something happened? are you fighting again?"

well shit. jason had not thought this one through. fuck roy and fuck his mile wide kink that centered around jasons thighs. he was going to kill him. and he wouldnt even use his thighs. "oh nonono dami we're fine, just not as close as me and roy" he hedged, pleading to gods he didnt believe in to stop this conversation with whatever means necessary. strike him dead if need be but *please*. damians eyes narrowed "and exactly how close are you with harper, jason?" jason stared in disbelief. how had his nice relaxing evening turned into such a shitshow? damian was fine with roy when he and jason were just friends but now that he was (correctly) assuming a relationship, his over protective instincts were kicking in? christ. he remembered how when dick and babs finally started dating (again), damian seemingly lost all respect for her and called her an evil harlot more than once.

thankfully he was saved by answering in the form of the best person jason had ever met aka duke thomas. he announced his presence by awkwardly coughing. jason met his dark eyes and mouthed 'help me' over damians head. duke smiled as if it was getting pulled out of him by torture but nodded.

"hey dames, dick wanted you to join him by the docks when you finished up here" damian scowled "cant you see i am clearly not finished yet"

"hah, well dick was facing up against scarecrow and i think he needed some back up but you know him"

"yes, he wont admit he needs help when he very clearly does" damian sighed "very well, ill go check on dick. you stay and question jason. " and with that damian clambered out the window and after he disappeared from sight, jason threw his head back to stare at his ceiling and groaned. duke laughed at him.

"hey daisy duke?" duke grumbled at the nickname and jason cracked a smile "how did you know i needed back up?" duke winced and ran a hand over his dreads. he made a face and jasons soul was slowly draining out of his body. "oh haha funny story" duke rocked back on his feet and faked laughed "damians com was still connected to the channel" jason froze.

"who was on the channel oh my god" duke smiled thinly and his hand paused on his head. "other than me? everyone." jason buried his head in his hands and let out a high pitched whine. duke consolingly rubbed his shoulder. this is why jason loved him. he hadn't even laughed at jason like tim, dick or steph would or started plotting death like damian started to. he and cass would just offer support. jasons favorite brother and sister right here folks. duke sat down beside him

"listen. i know what it's like to be outed when youre not ready and when i heard damian grilling you about roy, i thought i would help" jason turned and stared at his brother. duke was staring at his hands and avoiding eye contact. "i got caught with a boy when i was 15 in high school. its pretty shitty to be gay and poor in a homophobic neighbourhood but its worse to be gay, poor and black." jason knocked shoulders with him. "if you tell me the name of whatever asshat outed you, I'll shoot him for you." duke let out a waterly laugh. "they kept bullying me for being gay but if they even listened, they would have realised that im pan" he joked "its a completely different thing after all". jason snorted

"that was horrible"

duke winced "yeah, it was wasnt it. im bad at this" it was jasons turn to avoid eye contact now.

"talia once caught me with a league operative. a male operative. i was so paranoid for days until i caught shiva leaving her rooms. i got the courage to tell her i was bi and she just patted my cheek and asked how my training was going."

duke huffed out a laugh. "bruce gives you shit but i for one think your lesbians moms are cool"

jason laughed with him "just wait until you meet Ducra. shes a badass"

"ducra?" he questioned with a weird look. "how many moms do you actually have? i knew about diana and your assassin moms but thats a new name" jason burst into laughter at the expression on dukes face. "its not fair man. steph is the only other one with a mom and you have four! you need to share" jason choked on his laughter and shoved duke.

"first of all, its only *three*. ducra is like my badass abuela"

"dont you already have a badass grandma? have you forgotten about Ma Gunn? she threatened to shoot bruce in the dick last week!"

"yes well excuse you i need strong female role models in my life, fuck you" the two of them continued to joke around for a little while longer before jason caught a flash of black kelvar outside his window and sighed. duke followed his eyes and smiled before patting jasons shoulder and pushing off. "have fun with the one strong male role model in your life. im going to see if cass needs help" both of them knew that cass wouldn't need help but jason accepted the excuse for what it was. "me and steph are still coming over to study tomorrow. college is kicking my ass and i need you to explain this English assignment to me"

jason scoffed "im not writing your essay for you"

"eh worth a try. bye jace" duke gave a two fingered salute and slipped out the window. jason took the brief reprieve to sip his tea and mourned when he discovered the ice had melted and watered down the peach taste. for the third time that night, someone crept into his window. oh well. third times the charm right? jason wasn't going to acknowledge bruce until he said something himself. it was a repeat of damian. jasom read his book as it got increasingly uncomfortable.

"jason."

"bruce" jason drawled, not lifting his eyes from his book. bruce grunted like the neanderthal he was and jason finally huffed out a heaving breath before marking his page and looking up. bruce looked supremely uncomfortable. actually his face looked exceedingly neutral but jason knew how to read bruce and that was the brow furrow of how do i deal with jason without fucking it up? jason was well famailairsed with that one.

"you know i love you" jasons own eyebrows rose. bruce only said 'i love you' like four times a year tops. and he usually never wasted it on jason. bruce deflated at whatever face jason must have made. goddamn it. this was why jason always fought with bruce with his helmet on, he couldnt control his facial expressions for shit. "no you dont know that." bruce smiled thinly and to jasons suprise, quickly crossed the room and knelt, placing his hands on jasons shoulders.

"even if you dont believe it, and its my own fault that you do and i hate that i ever caused you to even doubt my love for you, i swear that i do, jay lad" jason was completely frozen. he had expected bruce to yell at him for letting roy go unchecked on patrol last night and how irresponsible he was yada yada, not this declaration of feelings that he had no clue how to deal with. he couldnt remember the last time bruce called him that. it had to have been when he was still in those scaly green panties and pixie boots. and not the adult verison that jason picked up from a halloween store on a whim just to see roys eyes.

bruce sighed and drew jason into a hug. when bruces shoulder started getting wet, jason was horrified to realise he was crying. "i wanted you to know that i wouldnt love you any less for loving a man. but you have to know that i love you in the first place for that to happen" bruce said self deprecating.

"shut the fuck up" jason said sniffling and gripping his dads back. "i hate you"

bruce laughed softly at him before pressing a kiss to the side of jasons head. "i want you to know that i expect roy-and you- over at dinner on sunday. i need to meet the man that stole my babys heart" he murmured. jason laughed wetly "youve already met roy, you just want to con me into actually coming to family dinner"

bruce smiled "that was before i knew you two were dating. roy needs to know what hes getting into" jason leaned back enough to stare into bruces eyes and weakly punched him in the chest "dont threaten my boyfriend. he refused to look at me for two weeks after t was done with him" bruce sighed longingly "its times like this when i remember what caused me to love talia in the first place."

"bruce!" the aforementioned man laughed and hugged jason tightly before stepping back a few steps. "Sunday dinner. you and roy. 8 pm." on a whim jason reached out and snagged bruces hand. "hey" he started, swallowing "you wanna stay for a while? we could watch a movie or something" bruces eyes softened and he nodded. "let me change out of the suit."

and if roy had crept in after patrol only to see jason napping on his dads chest to a shitty action movie playing in the background and took several pictures, well that bruces fault for not waking up when roy stumbled it. (nevermind the fact that bruce had every single one of those pictures saved on his phone) (nevermind the fact that after roy put his phone away, he was greeted to the sight of batman glaring at him as he twisted a batarang around his fingers. it was sorta ruined by the fact that jasons curls was hiding the lower half of his face but roy was still adequately terrified)

#jason todd #roy harper #jayroy #jayroyweekend2020 #jayroyweekend #day 2: pride #bruce wayne #damian wayne #duke thomas #this is self indulgent #this is self care #bruce is trying his hardest #and he is succeeding #i was listening to about love by marina and the diamonds #its so jayroy #its not mentioned but diana took jason to his first pride as robin #bc he told her and only her #talia and shiva took jason to his first pride after he was resurrected #damian will cut someone if they think dirty thoughts about his brothers #once he learns what dirty thoughts are #but kon is next #jason looks up to 20 female figures and only one male figure (its bruce) #(dont tell him)

[morgynemberisagenderfluiddaddy]

6, 10, 12, 17, 24 and 27 for the valentine's asks!

Hey Alec! Thanks for the ask!

6. Sexual / romantic orientation?

I usually just say I'm gay because it's easier and quicker but I don't think I've actually addressed it on here so I'd like to! So I'm genderfluid for those that didn't know! And my sexuality is very fluid as well, but somehow I was come out gay lol when I feel like a guy I like guys when I feel like a woman I like women because I have to be extra gay lol. Really though I guess I would say more pan/bi though because I really don't care about gender (for myself or others) just a nice person!

10. Favorite milkshake flavor?

Banana! Or mint chocolate. Two very controversial flavors I know lol but thats what I like!

12. Favorite flower?

I've never been a huge flower person so im not quite sure what all the flowers are, but I like orchids!

17. What's the most attractive thing a person could wear?

This is going to sound so cliche but honestly confidence and a kind demeanor. I feel like personality is always a much bigger deal than anything else (also make up, I'm a make up artist so I love seeing fun make up) (but I also don't feel like people NEED or should wear make up i just think it's fun)

24. What makes you blush?

I'm honestly very easy to make blush! I grew up with two older brothers so I dont get embarrassed easily but I do blush over everything! Something I find funny, when I get upset, etc. I blush over everything.

27. Denim jacket, leather jackets, or bomber jackets?

I'll do you one better, pleather bomber jackets with denim patches. 👉😎👉

Thank you again so much for the ask! Here's the ask game if you wanna send me a number or feel free to ask me whatever you feel like!

#valentines day ask game #ask game #izzy answers things #izzy speaks #rainbow-llamas #send me an ask if you want #asks.txt #ask

[trashcatsnark]

What’s your opinion on Kerry being available to only male V when it’s mentioned in-game that he’s bi (correct me if I’m wrong, I have terrible memory)?? I feel like they should’ve had bi romance options if they were able to implement both gay and straight ones.

Oh anon, oooooh anon. I love you dearly, but you intentionally or not might as well have thrown lit dynamite in my ask box. This discourse has been such a strange beast within this fandom and I have definitely shared some vague thoughts about it before. I’m putting everything under a read more, to help stave off some....harassment or putting it in people’s lives who may not want it. 

 I still remember I was frankly heartbroken and upset when I first learned Kery wasn’t romanceable by female V when the game first officially came out, but before I played it; River and Panam weren’t even really known about, cause they weren’t talked about much in the promo material,  plus Kerry was shown in romance scenes with what looked to be female V. So, if you go back far enough you’ll find me in December cope posting and being the saddest and angriest of beans, because other than Johnny who I knew was likely off the table. He was one of the only characters I wanted to potentially romance. Now, I’m further away from it, have  processed my feelings regarding it and am more rational I believe regarding the issue. 

But, that being said, a large issue of this sort of discourse is that; no matter what anyone says, someone somwhere is upset. I’ve been insulted, blocked, accused of fetishizing gay men, and so much over my opinion regarding this matter. I’m still currently debating if I even wanna tag this, cause the issue almost always brings negativity to my blog and to me. I have very little interest in being berated for this, so we’ll see how I feel after I finish typing this all out. I’m going to try to go through all my issues, my points, my troubles and feelings about the matter. But, at the end of the day, it is merely my opinion. If someone disagrees, fine, just don’t attack people or berate them over pixels in a video game. Just dont. That’s all I ask. Okay, so I’m gonna divide this into talking points and whatever, now. 

Firstly, Kerry is bisexual. Point blank, period. I’ve seen folks try to argue that his wife was like comphet, which if you dont know means that sometimes exclusively homosexual people will try to force themselves into heterosexual relationships because society has conditioned them to believe they have to be straight. While, I’m not negating the fact that this happens, as a bisexual/pansexual (I use the terms interchangeably to define my experience and feelings)  person I’ve struggled with it when making sense of my attraction to women. It genuinely is something that happens. This is not the case for Kerry; he doesn’t ever hide his attraction to men, between TTRPG lore and the video game he has had two wives , and he is stated by game developers and TTRPG creator to be bisexual.He is bisexual. Getting that out there, saying other wise, in my opinion is a level of bi erasure. That being said, I do still have my grievances with how the game chose to handle his bisexuality and bisexuality as whole, also imo, the game generally doesn’t seem...to treat players who are attracted to men well… 

But before I get into that, I wanna make clear, I feel like Cyberpunk 2077 should have had more romance options for every orientation. If you’re not going to create a player-sexual style of romance; ie where every romanceable character is attracted to the player regardless and wish to focus on each character having their own predetermined sexuality; only have one character for each sexuality is kind of bullshit. If you’re a lesbian player and you’re not into Judy, you get nothing, except a fuck around with Meredith (who I will get to later). You’re a straight woman, but not into River, shit out of luck. You’re a gay man who’s not into Kerry, sucks to suck bud. You’re a straight man who’s not into Panam (kind dont get how you wouldn’t be but who am i to judge), well, you can fuck Meredith… so woooo. Oh also, if you’re not attracted to women, you will still be forced to watch in first person pov a sex scene with Alt and if you want Johnny to like you, you gotta date a girl. Also, all the male love interests will be sidelined mostly…. Hooray… But I digress, either go in with all romance options bi/pan/player sexual, or give more options for romance. Cause now you have the issue of people not getting the partner they hoped for and not liking their only option. Now, you got people trying to make the Judy  bi, which is lesbian erasure and lesbophobic, along with people saying Kerry isn’t bi and can’t be with women which is bi erasure and biphobic. Whereas, if you had just gone in from the get go with either more options or a player-sexual romance system; we wouldn’t be here, CDPR. 

Okay, so next thing, now that I’ve addressed my issues with the entire romance system and that yes, Kerry is bi. Should Kerry have been able to be romanced as female V? Yes and no. Which sounds vague, but I’m going somewhere. With the current set up of it; Kerry being romanceable to a female V would have unfairly given female players an additional love interest over male players. Female V would have the option of Judy, River, or Kerry. And Male V’s would have the option of Kerry or Panam. That’s not fair. I get that, inherently. CDPR painted themselves into a corner, by only letting there be two romances for “each” gender, one for “each” sexuality, and then using a canonically bi character for one of them. They played themselves, they were either gonna have to give an unfair amount of love interest to one side of their gender system or make a bi character who will only pursue one gender. So, they went for the latter. 

Now, some people feel thats fine, because Kerry having a gender preference is fine and its okay for bi people to lean a certain way in regards to gender and its okay for them to not be attracted to people. And that is true. I am a bisexual woman who leans a little more towards men, I get that. However, I have only been given one reason for Kerry’s preference for male V over female V. And it was by a developer of the game who stated that Kerry pursues Male V and not Female V because Male V reminds him more of Johnny… And I hate that. I personally, hate it so deeply, because to me it does a complete disservice to Kerry and V’s relationship and Kerry’s arc. Because even with female V you see him being preoccupied with Johnny and V’s connection to Johnny, then you see him move past that. So, to then state, its still a deciding factor in him romancing V is so wrong to me. Like why???? Why would you do that to people who like Kerry??? Why would you put that in their heads, that Kerry on some level, subconsciously or not, was thinking about Johnny when he decides to romance V. Cause that’s not in the game, in the game you get the vibe he’s moving on past Johnny, like he’s growing, developing, genuinely likes V. But that stupid tweet, just radiates rancid vibes, whyyy???  

And then, outside of that nasty tweet, I have to ask what other reason is there for why he prefers male V over fem V.  They’re...the same characters essentially, just with different pronouns and body type. They also can look like whatever you want; they’re completely customizable. So, Its based off of what the game associates with  gender characteristics and nothing else, meaning, his attraction is rooted solely in their gender and he turns down fem V by virtue of them being a woman and nothing else. Which, yeah, bisexual/pansexual people have preferences but when that preference completely excludes a gender based on nothing but gender…. Uhh????? See my issue???? 

And I’ve seen people saying, well, its better than CDPR playing into slutty will date anybody bisexual stereotypes. But, the thing is...THEY STILL DO THAT which is what drives me up the god damn wall; they managed to do slutty bi stereotypes and I don’t even get kiss the boy, which again, I get the need for fairness but wow, just wow. And lemme explain. 

Meredith is the only character, other than joytoys, whom you can have sex with regardless of gender, body type, etc. She is the only character who shows that she is attracted to V on some level regardless of gender. 

She is a one night stand. Her sex animations are the same as joytoys. She treated like a promiscuous love phobic woman.  And having characters like that is fine, my own V is promiscuous and love phobic. But, we can acknowledge that in a video game by a AAA game company having the only character who is at least physically attracted to the player no matter what, be nothing but sex fodder...isn’t great bi representation, right? 

Oh, and Kerry himself still is a promiscuous bisexual man, he just won’t romance female V because apparently, according to a dev, they don’t remind him of Johnny enough. AND THATS THE DEVS WORDS, NOT MINE, I HATE THAT. Like, Kerry is shown to have people’s lingerie around his house. He’s stated by Johnny to be someone who fucks around. He gets a blowjob from a man in a stairwell. 

The two most blatantly canonically bi character in this game are promiscuous; one wont romance V at all and just wants sex, the other will only romance a male V because at worse, he’s comparing them mentally subconsciously to his dead friend and at best….because….reasons…. Literally, from what I understand for Kerry to romance V, they have to have the “male” body type and “male” voice. Meaning, fem V could literally by all appearances look like masc V, body type wise, but because she uses female pronouns and has a feminine sounding voice...no… the stars say no… 

In my honest opinion, it is bad bisexual representation and a not so well thought out romance system for a game. 

But, that being said, I literally never romance anyone, because I’m a Johnny simp. So, the fuck do I know.

oh god do i tag this.... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

#anon #asks #i can't put these in the main tags or kerry's i cant #im so weary of this #im sorry anon #im a pussy who's grown so weary of discourse #Anonymous

[star-anise]

I think I am having vicarious stress about how immagrint families are being treated at the American border too. Also other horrors happening in America though I live in Canada. How do you cope with that? If this question is annoying or personal you dont have to answer. Is it weird to feel post election stress after the 2016 election although I am not American? I heard American college kids had almost ptsd levels of trauamtic stress after the election in America.

It’s funny, today I was on the phone with a grad school friend who does front-line crisis mental health work in the USA, and grew up being heavily involved in the Democratic Party. She said, “I have such an issue with this rhetoric now, like, ‘don’t look away.’ Bitch, I haven’t looked away for two years. I’m fucking exhausted.” Because things like that are intended for the people who do look away, who are conservative and apathetic, but often they only reach an audience that is already engaged with the issue, and they land like hammers on people already trying their hardest.

And yes, freaking out about the shit that goes down in the USA is a fine old Canadian tradition. To quote Pierre Trudeau’s 1969 comments to the US president at the time: “Living next to you is in some ways like sleeping with an elephant. No matter how friendly and even-tempered is the beast, if I can call it that, one is affected by every twitch and grunt.”

(And Canadian politics are definitely negatively affected by the USA. My province just lost its NDP government because its Conservatives “aren’t as bad as those crazies down south!” and I have a sinking feeling the Cons will cakewalk to federal victory too in October)

You might also notice that on my blog, I post about political issues in only a small number of cases: 1) I have a unique observation I think needs to be added to the world, 2) It’s an issue I genuinely haven’t seen covered yet, and I know people who would want to know; 3) It’s a feel-good story meant to comfort people who are fighting the good fight; 4) It’s advertising an immediate, low-barrier thing people can do right away to directly affect the situation; 5) It’s a resource to help those fighters be better activists. And I do my best to always tag political posts with a standard set of tags to let people ignore them, so if somebody wants, they can follow me and just get my cats’n’fandom content.

The audience I usually have in mind when I blog are people like my friends: Smart, compassionate people committed to social activism, but without limitless amounts of money, health, time, or attention. Some of the people who follow my blog are DC lobbyists directly fighting the Trump administration’s policies. Some of them are crisis workers and EMTs and librarians and deal with the ragged edges of human existence in today’s society. I know I don’t have the nerves or capacity to be their news source; they can follow anyone else on Tumblr for that. So what I try to be is the friendly cat cafe they can go to at the end of a long shift to relax.

My response is really guided by a blog I followed a lot when 9/11 happened; I was following it to learn about getting published as a fantasy author, but its authors were New Yorkers and socialists and military veterans, and they had a lot to say about the false witch hunt for a justification for starting a war in Iraq in 2003 and the slow erosion of rights and freedoms of Americans and “enemy” POWs and the incredible damage the American war machine does when it gets going.

They’re not blogging as much now, but when Trump was elected, they released two posts that I found to be deeply useful:

Defense in Depth - Tl;dr: It is important that those of us in resistance to the world’s outrages don’t attack each other for having different priorities, because we need a diversity of targets and approaches.

Taking It Back - Tl;dr: Our enemies WANT us to be overwhelmed and horrified and frozen in shock and catatonic. That is a deliberate tactic they use. Whenever we seem to catch our breath, they create a new outrage for us to get upset over. We need to learn how to set our own pace, resist the lie that you have to be upset and horrified all the time, and focus on taking care of yourself.

I’m also really affected by Rebecca Solnit’s book “Hope in the Dark” where she points out that activist movements have two effects. The first is to influence whatever issue they’re actually agitating about. The second is to give people the tools and experience they need to become citizens who change their societies in deep and enduring ways.

One part of the problem is finding ways that you can make the world better that feel really concrete and achievable. That’s a whole other discussion, that depends a lot on what you’re good at, what your resources are, what you’re capable of. People feel a lot less terrified if there’s something they know they can do. 

But even once you’ve figured out how you’re fighting to make the world better in some small way, you probably can’t do it 24/7; you’ve got to keep mentally resilient the rest of the time.

So what do I do to cope?

I focus on easy-to-do, ordinary hobbies that bring me joy, especially ones that get me off my computer and out of my head. I garden; I just bought a bike; I’m getting my sewing room back in order so I can go back to making costumes and working on the @betterbinderproject.

I make sure I keep social connections where we can relax and enjoy each other. That means being codependent with my cat, babysitting my nieces and nephews, exploring my local bi/pan meetups, going to historical re-enactment events, texting with my friends about Tumblr drama, talking to my colleagues during slack moments at work, and enjoying the fandoms and fanworks that bring me joy.

I do my best to look after my physical wellbeing. Which for me means stretching, yoga, taking my psych meds and vitamins, taking painkillers, looking after my cuticles, using moisturizer, braiding my hair, getting massages, and always making sure there’s a cake in the kitchen. My emphasis isn’t whether I’ll get some disease 30 years from now; it’s making sure that inhabiting my body today is the least unpleasant that it has to be.

I try to look after myself; I go to therapy, look for jobs, keep up on my business paperwork, budget my money, work on upgrading my skills, and develop my 5-year plan. I work really hard on doing this without being stressed, because my habit of procrastinating and only getting around to this stuff when I’m in abject terror isn’t good.

I also, and this feels weird to say or suggest, try to educate myself on issues that are not the crisis du jour. I watch TV shows about the Russian revolution, listen to books about Indigenous language reclamation, read the diary of a World War II servicewoman. This isn’t an attempt to expand my list of crises to worry about, but because I find my ability to cope with the present immeasurably helped by knowing that people have faced other, different crises, and how they dealt with them. It’s… background research in resilience. With the added bonus that it helps me stay intersectional and aware of when we might be only seeing the most privileged part of a crisis situation.

#staranise original #long post #my problems with sj let me show you them #us politics tw #concentration camps tw #cdnpoli #abpoli #dragonsarecoolassparklesare #food mention

[vampireqrow-moved]

hey so I agree with a lot of the stuff in your post about the transphobia involved in the origin of the pansexual label, but I just have one question: what are the actual impacts of people with good intentions calling themselves pan? If you don't hate pansexuals and consider them bi, why type up a paragraphs long manifesto on the harms of the origin of the label if it means the same thing in the way that most non transphobic people (your audience) use it? a lot of identities can be used in transphobic ways (like bi and lesbian and anything really) and plenty of valid identities from problematic roots and evolve over time as people use them differently (queer, transsexual). so how is a person with good intentions using a not-perfect label in a way you don't like a threat to the community? if someone is using the label pan transphobically, wouldn't their bigotry exist independently? if pan people do not act in transphobic ways besides using the label pansexual, realistically what is changing if they call themselves bi beyond holier-than-thou aesthetic activism? plus, a blog on the internet isn't going to get everyone to stop identifying as pansexual, especially considering multiple prominent celebrities ID as pan. so why spend all that energy quibbling on semantics because some bi people use a slightly different word when you could be worrying about Literally anything else? just feels like you want to find something to argue about lol. extremely disappointed that I had to break a mutual

im going to respond to each thing you bring up chronologically- im not trying to nitpick or prioritize certain things you say ill just forget things if i go out of order and i dont want to miss something important. ALSO! i will be typing less formally (like keysmashes and shortening words n stuff) in this response than my og post bc its 1am as im starting to type this so im tired but i want to be clear that i am like. taking this seriously and im not like. mocking u in anyway if it could read that way?? i hope not but just in case anyways here it goes!

in terms of actual impact people with good intentions identifying as pan: honestly im not  sure the full scope of the impact this has, so ill only be speaking to what ive personally seen which might not be all. but like... id argue my younger self has good intentionals iding as pan. i wanted to support trans people, even if i didnt understand a lot of the nuance involved. as a result of this, i developed a sense of superiority over other bisexuals and a mentality that bisexuality was a primitive and lesser sexuality. that mentality is harmful, and although im not sure if it affected bisexuals around me (of which there are many most of my friends are bi ajfjfjf) its still a harmful mentality and can easily hurt people even if i specifically didnt. also using it even with good intentions, which i know many people have, still spreads and further normalizes a label that imo can not be separated from its transphobic origins. this effect is not as extreme as other forms of transphobia and biphobia by A LONG SHOT. the bi community faces a lot of other issues but that doesnt mean this one isnt worth addressing if that makes sense?

if i dont hate pansexuals: ik this is part of a larger point which i will adress but i specified this in my post bc i see a lot of other posts that are negative towards pansexuality have "i hate pan ppl" somewhere in it or a close equivalent. i do not shame these ppl for their anger, i just wanted to be clear i think a lot of pan ppl are bi ppl with good intentions choosing a label they dont fully understand based on a misunderstanding of bisexuality.

why write a paragraphs long manifesto on the harms of pansexuals origin: ok 😭😭 the real reason here is that im literally just bad at summarizing. like thats literally it. i also like talking, its a bad combination. plus ive been thinking abt this for like. over a year im not even kidding and just like i have a lot of thoughts and figured if i was going to bother making my own post instead of rbing someone elses that i might as well get everything i wanted to say off my chest. ALSO BTW i literally got an ask like a week ago that was several paragraphs long asking me to explain my thoughts on why pan was harmful and some other stuff so like. this is partially responding to that and partially just me wanting to air my grievances ? idk if thats the right expression 😔😔

why write the post if my audience of people who identify as pan arent doing it in a transphobic way ? again sorry i didnt really understand the phrasing so i hope this is a vaguely correct summary!! um but like... again imo i think pan cant be separated from its transphobia and like. again imo iding as pan is like. a transphobic action/choice? obviously one transphobic thing does mean someone necessarily is like officially a Transphobe (it CAN be depending on the action but i dont think that applies here) but that doesnt mean there arent problems with what they did. this is like very complicated, but like. someone doing something harmful without the knowlege that its harmful doesnt make that person a bigot by any means it just means they didnt know. and i feel thats the case here? a lot of ppl (myself included until recently) know next to nothing abt pansexualitys origins so a trans inclusve sexuality might seem like a safe and good bet just because they dont know too much abt it, and like? i cant hate those people cause that was me for 5+ years and djgjfjdj you just dont know what you dont know!

basically i think iding with a transphobic label is inherently a singular transphobic action that doesnt make the person transphobic by itself, but is still a transphobic instance.

a lot of identities can be used in transphobic ways like bi, lesbian, etc.: this is true and a point i attempted to make on my original post, but i might not have clear enough. my issue with pan is specifically that it is a transphobic response to a preexisting identity. lesbian isnt an attempted trans inclusive indentity that replaced an identity that already existed (which have many trans ppl identifying with the og label). transphobes can use whatever labels they want, but transphobes using a label vs a label having a transphobic origin is very different. bigots use inclusive and supporting language for their bigotry all the time but language that originated with that bigotry is worse.

many valid identities stem from problemstic origins (like transsexual and queer) but the words evolve: ok my paraphrasing is a little weird there. anyways. the thing here is that. those are slurs. reclaimed slurs that can be empowering to many people, yes, but slurs nonetheless. reclaiming a slur is taking a harmful word and wearing it as a badge of pride. first off, pansexual is not a slur (ur not implying that in anyway just. saying) and it isnt being reclaimed when people dont treat it as having harmful origins. transsexual is the way some people identify but ppl acknowlege its a slur and originates from transphobia. ppl love to act like queer isnt a slur, which is an issue in and of itself, but just. factually it has historically and is currently being used against ppl with the intent to hurt them. pansexual isnt on the same level as these and other words like the f slur, d slur, etc. pansexual originates from trans and biphobia WITHIN the community and not outside of it, and most pansexuals dont see themselves as reclaiming the title because they dont think anythings wrong with it in the first place. and reclaiming it just seems unnecessary considering its history? theres no empowerment from using pan as a label as opposed to queer or transsexual, and it just divides the bisexual community for no reason.

how is a person using a not-perfect label a threat to the community? ok i dont think its a threat but still an issue if that difference makes sense? id like to reiterate a few things ive said before, but for me personally, it made me look down on bisexuals and see them as lesser, and it made people around me see pan as the "trans inclusive" sexuality as opposed to bisexuality, and basically its usage just leads to further biphobia. is this the worst of biphobia? no!!! but its still biphobia and why not attempt to target and minimize that? i have no way to singlehandedly stop biphobia, but my post might get through to my friends who id as pan and that small thing is better than nothing.

if someone used the pan label in a transphobic way, wouldnt that bigotry be different from people using it not transphobically?: someone claiming all bi ppl are transphobic and only pan is the acceptable label is obviously a lot worse than someone iding as pan and saying bi/pan solidarity but again, the second isnt not an issue because the first one is a bigger issue, its just a smaller issue in comparison. i wouldnt say the bigotry is different, one is just worse than the other, but it still has the same problems.

if pan people dont do anything transphobic other than id as pan then what changes with iding as bi over pan other holier-than-thou activism: its just one less person using a transphobic label? which isnt that big but it might lead to their friends stopping iding as pan and cause fewer people around them to see bi as a transphobic identity. which is small scale stuff, i wont try to blow it out of proportion, but thats still a step in the right direction and hopefully more people follow with it. its not terribly huge or lifechanging but something small that may only affect the people close to you is still something rather than nothing.

a blog the internet isnt going to get people to stop iding as pan: oh absolutely not. honestly i expected to get unfollowed/blocked more than change peoples minds regarding the pan label (im surprised i only lost two followers so far honestly) but again, someone literally asked me to do this and i wanted to be clear on my stance on the label, since in the past ive been supportive of it. im not expecting the post to get more than five likes, its more directed to my followers rather than the internet as a whole. im not expecting a large impact, im hoping to change the minds of my followers and friends who id as and support the pan label. thats it. if something bigger comes from it- great! but thats not what im aiming to do.

prev point + many prominent celebrities id as pan: the first name that comes to mind is someone im not a fan of for separate reasons but thats irrelevant. i mean im repeating myself a bit but some celebrities in the past validated and made me feel excited abt my identity as a pan person when they came out, and it justified the label to me, even when i had doubts. i have never interacted with a celebrity and do not plan to change their minds abt their identity. again, my post was for my friends and followers and maybe who ever was scrolling through the biphobia tag and decided to read my post.

why spend that much energy worrying abt the pan label instead of something else: ive spent waaaaay more energy thinking abt a singular meme i didnt like regarding my favourite rwby character so like. maybe i just overreact to things lol. maybe i have a lot of energy and since i cant talk my friends ears off abt my favourite fruits or the different voting methods i learned in my math class or what would dreams taste like, then i gotta put my energy into something. idk. i have a lot of energy and honestly? this didnt take that much. but i felt it weighing on me as my friends talked positively abt the pan label, when i felt guilty for the superiority i felt over my bi friends INCLUDING my best friend and favourite person in the world so like. i spent enough energy worrying abt it, and like. in hindsight since its been over 12 hours since posting it, im thinking abt it less. i was more worried abt feeling dishonest with my friends than actually worrying abt pansexuality, but i figured i owed them an explanation for why my feelings around it had changed.

just feels like you want to find something to argue about: okay i DO love arguing but im not pulling this out of my ass for fun. its in response to posts ive seen on my dash, asks i recieved abt pansexuality, and my way of letting people know my views have changed and why since i know at least some people are curious.

i am sorry to lose a mutual as well, and i genuinely hope things go well for you, but uh yeah thats that.

again, if people have further questions im willing to answer them i just might take a while bc i have school and other stuff 2 do but uhhh yea sorry if im clogging ur dash sjfjfkkf

#asks #long post #anonymous #pansexuality #biphobia #transphobia #my post

[surviiived]

Guidelines

If you don’t agree to these rules and don’t want to follow me back—and if I have already followed you—please just HARD block me. It’ll help keep my dash cleaner, as well as make sure in my forgetfulness I won’t follow you again. Don’t worry, I won’t be upset lol. Thank you so much for looking at my rules!! 🖤🖤

Basic Rules:

-SEMI SELECTIVE AND MUTUALS ONLY.  This is for my own safety and feeling of security. If you want to roleplay with me, follow me. I will do the same for you if I’m willing to interact.

-OCS, AUS, AND ALL OTHER CHARACTERS WELCOME. I don’t care who your muse is. I’m all for OCs, crossovers, AUs, anything!! Just know I’m a bit more selective towards fandoms I don’t know about lol

-NO ONE-LINERS. I need some more interest in our thread from your end so I don’t lose muse as well. One-liners are fine for crack threads, but nowhere else. I’m fine with single to multiparagraph, and that’s how I will be writing.

-NO GODMODDING. I cannot express this enough. It’s my biggest pet peeve. Just don’t, or I’ll end the rp immediately.

-PLEASE USE CORRECT GRAMMAR. I’m a bit of a grammar freak, so seriously. At least try. However, If English isn’t your first language, I COMPLETELY understand.

-MULTIVERSE, MULTISHIP. Every thread is a different verse, every ship a different verse. Simple.

-DONT REBLOG THINGS FROM ME. Honestly, guys this just gets on my nerves. It’s a bit irrational...but also irritating because when I check my phone and see a notification from a mutual, I get excited because I think it’s a reply! But then I realize you just reblogged that meme/musing/whatever. Please, only reblog threads from me and everything else from the source. This includes memes, musings, pictures, and promos. Also, pls don’t reblog my PSAs, if you agree with them let me know so I can post it to my rp memes blog, which I would LOVE for you to reblog it from!!

-REBLOGGING ASKS AND TRIMMING THREADS. I’m not as strict as a lot of people over this, but some mutuals of mine are so please trim your threads when you reply to me. If you are in a situation where you can’t, that’s perfectly fine. However, thanks to this new Tumblr update I cannot trim asks because I don’t have xKit. So I ask for you to trim them for me, and if you can’t either then I’ll figure something out. Also with asks, I’m fine with you reblogging an ask to continue it. I will turn it into a separate thread for my friends’ sake.

-UNFOLLOWS. There’s a low chance I will unfollow someone, and the only reasons I can think of are spreading drama, being inactive for over a month without a hiatus, something else that annoys me, or too many OOC posts. The latter is why I am hesitant to follow back personal blogs who roleplay on said blog, but it’s not impossible. I won’t follow personal blogs from side blogs, but if you let me know you are a side blog I will gladly follow where you roleplay.

-DONT INVOLVE ME IN DRAMA. I hate drama. I’m the type of person who wants absolutely nothing to do with it. If I ask about what’s going on, then you’re welcome to tell me, but other than that, don’t talk to me about it. I won’t take sides. I won’t tell other people what’s going on. I’ll only act like nothing’s happening.

-SPOILERS. This is kinda hard with an Identity V blog... I don’t really anticipate there being any spoilers on this blog?? But if a new diary entry comes out or a deduction for a new character, sure, I’ll tag it for a couple of weeks.

-REQUESTING MUSES. If you don’t request a specific character in an ask or a starter call, I won’t write it. I just don’t have the time to go to you and ask which character you want, nor try to guess what you were thinking when you sent something in or liked a starter call. So I just won’t respond to whatever it is. This is the case when requesting one of my muses or picking one of your muses, if you’re a multi like me. Sorry..!!

Romance Rules:

-NO SMUT. I can’t stress this enough. It’s not that I’m a minor (which I’m not), it’s that it makes me uncomfortable. You will never see smut on this blog. I’m fine with heavy make out scenes, but when the clothes start to come off is where I request a fade to black.

-I LOVE TO WRITE ROMANCE THREADS. I’m a pretty big hopeless romantic, as that’s where most of my muse is generated from. I may want to add a ship to our thread at some point, but will never force it.

-REFUSALS. NO pedofilia, NO incest, NO rape, or ANYTHING nasty like that. I understand that sometimes in writing dark situations occur, as some of these things are in my muses’ backstory. So, if you write any of those things, I’m not going to block you. However, if you request to do any of that stuff with me, I’ll say no. Press the issue, I’ll hard block you. I shouldn’t have to hear you request it the first time, as it’s right here in my rules and that means you didn’t read them. But I’ll go easy until you cross a line.

-THERE MUST BE CHEMISTRY. Don’t bother trying to make a ship work that just won’t click, it’s a waste of time. But I’m more than willing to try things and see how they work..!!

-PLEASE RESPECT MY MUSES’ SEXUALITIES. You can tell a muse’s sexuality by what it says on their about. Most are bi/pan, but a few may be different.

Rules and things about me:

-I HAVE LOTS OF WRITING EXPERIENCE. I’ve been writing since I was maybe even seven years old, played games where I pretended to be a character irl since I was five, and have been actually roleplaying for approximately 7 years now. I’ve been roleplaying on Tumblr for three years. I really love writing, you know?

-WARNING, I WRITE GORE. I tend to go into detail about pain, suffering, death, and just very demented topics. That’s just a warning. If you have a problem with that, you may not want to follow me…

-TAGGING. Gore, murder, suicide, and other dark and triggering things will be tagged, but swearing will not. I swear far too much for me to remember to tag it. Also, I don’t post NSFW images or threads on this blog, so don’t worry about that, but I will tag asks and memes that can be perceived as nsfw. I tag things like this (using death as an example): “tw: death”. If you have any triggers, PLEASE let me know so I can tag them. There’s always a chance I might forget about something, and if I do please tell me. I’ll make sure not to forget a second time. Also, I ask you all tag vomit mentions, even if it’s just written, and ESPECIALLY TAG VISUALS OF THROW UP!!!! That is my ONLY trigger. Thank you.

-RESPONDING TIME. I’m a college student, high school student, and I work, so my responding time isn’t what it used to be lol. Please don’t pressure me over that..!! I also post most threads via queue unless I just need to send it out ASAP. I won’t bother you if it takes a little while to reply. We all have lives outside of Tumblr!!

-I’M NOT GOING TO SEND IN PASSWORDS. It just adds to my anxiety, and I don’t like that. That’s why I don’t ever ask someone to send a password in and just ask that they like my rules post! Just know I will always read someone’s rules before interacting.

-I’M ALWAYS HERE IF YOU NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO. Honestly, I want to help! If something’s wrong and you want to tell me about it, I’m all ears. I hate being upset or depressed myself, so I like to try to make others feel better. It helps with my own sadness.

That’s all for right now..! Happy roleplaying~!!

like this post if you have read it and agree to it, please.

Hello! My name’s Kiki. There isn’t really much to say about me, except that I love to roleplay!! That and write, of course. And draw. And sing. So I guess I love a lot of stuff lol. Also, I am diagnosed with ADD (attention-deficit disorder), so please bear with me..!! One last thing, I’m 18 as of November 2020. 

If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m right here and always accepting PMs!!

My main account is twx-sid3d, but I’m rarely ever on there so here is the best place to contact me. I also have a multiverse oc sideblog @hxlf-bred​ that’s connected to my multi, @nycttophilic.

Thanks for reading! Have a nice day~!

#{ Rules } #{ Mun Things } #~ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵉᵛᵉʳʸᵒⁿᵉ ᵃʳᵒᵘⁿᵈ ʰᵉʳ ᵗᵉˡˡᶦⁿᵍ ʰᵉʳ ᵗʰᵉ ʷᵃʸ ᵗᵒ ᵍᵒ; ˢᵒ ˢʰᵉ ʷᵃˡᵏˢ ᵗʰʳᵒᵘᵍʰ ʷᵒʳˡᵈˢ ᵃˡᵒⁿᵉ~ [OOC]

[stunt-lads]

Go off about richie ecks. Tell me about Richie Ecks. Gimme the good food, Ecks! Please, I'm starving. 😢

god 

fucking

richie tozier 

i love richie tozier so much lock, i love him to bits 

but that boy is so fucked up and he needs a hug 

lets operate under the assumption that richie is well loved by his family, like in book canon, he’s loved and appreciated 

but like the thing is...they live in Derry 

and we know how things are amplified in Derry, the good becomes bad, the bad becomes worse

and i imagine even good parents are gonna be distant in Derry. because that’s just how Its influence is. and let’s assume his well meaning and loving family is just a typical all American family, happy and healthy, but...richie’s afraid of going missing and that makes sense right? compared to Bill’s ‘deny and repress’ parents and Bev and Eddie’s ‘love is a means of control’ parents...yea richie has it pretty good. even if his parents maybe forget he exists sometimes. maybe wish he was someone else. maybe indulge him but it always feels superficial. 

and that’s Its fault right? lets say yea, thats the reason they’re distant. 

but like i feel like there’s a bigger reason we saw richie’s main fear as the missing poster. i know he said clowns scared him, and like sure, clowns are terrifying. i hate clowns and maybe richie shares that fear with me. idk

but i do know that when a kid like richie, one who has spent his whole life trying to make jokes, to make friends is afraid of something 

its usually a fear of abandonment 

i think richie is afraid of being abandoned because ‘what if they see the real me?’ and ‘if i don’t make jokes and keep them around are they going to want me to leave?’ seem like fitting fears for someone who makes jokes and can’t be serious for more than 10 seconds

and it also makes sense 

for a closeted kid

and 

like i know this is everywhere but like 

heres the thing, we see richie being locked in a room with clowns but that...that’s not the main focus is it?

the main focus is richie’s own dead body in a puppet form right? sure the clowns are scary but, a missing poster?, a puppet that is decaying and rotting?, being told someone knows his secret?

richie is afraid of abandonment for being gay (or bi/pan, i’m going off my own headcanon here for simplicity’s sake) 

and i think abt that a lot in regards to Ch. 2 (which yes ok ive seen 1 Time and i wanna rectify that as soon as my ps3 is unpacked) 

i imagine as an adult, losing the memories of Derry, forgetting abt the crushes he had on a couple of boys, how much his friends meant to him, probably left a lasting mark on his ability to form meaningful relationships 

but specifically friendships 

he makes a joke and expects a retort that never comes from a person who’s name is on the tip of his tongue but he can’t, no matter how much he wracks his brain, remember

or he’ll turn instinctively to make a joke or receive a high five and catch himself because he doesn’t know why that muscle memory is so fucking intense and people see him and think he’s weird (bc hes not famous yet so he can’t be eccentric) and don’t want anything to do with him

and then when he gets his memories back, after mike calls and he goes on stage and just fucking tanks it, those memories, those fears are resurfacing 

no one is going to want me around if i can’t make myself useful 

and he’s right right? i mean it would be nothing for him to just tank and become a meme before disappearing into obscurity. so when he sees his friends, remembers everything they’ve been through, he’s probably overwhelmed and terrified and he goes back to that easy “make stupid jokes to pretend things are fine” mindset

especially when he sees the men he had a crush on. 

and he

can

do

nothing

about it 

because they’re both married.

imagine that.

it’s no wonder he wants to be the center of attention. it’s no wonder that in 27 years his fear hasn’t changed at all 

because while this time he reads an obituary, it’s still the same isn’t it? 

because maybe it wasn’t him going missing that really scared him. maybe it was facing his own death. his own mortality. being forgotten. 

and he doesn’t want that. not even for others 

like he made a point to visit the synagogue even though he didn’t have to when they were trying to find their tokens. he reminisced about stan. did anyone else? 

no.

not while on their own. not really. not the same way richie did. 

and at the quarry, after It is defeated, they all miss eddie, of course they do, but it’s not the same is it? none of them cry about eddie being gone like richie does.

and sure, unrequited love or whatever could play a factor, but richie probably doesn’t want eddie to be forgotten. imagine how terrifying that would be to deal with, living your own fear of being forgotten and forgetting people important to you and then you lose someone you care about and you wonder ‘is this going to disappear again? am i going to forget again?’ as much as richie wants to believe he wants to i dont think he does want to

i think he wants to remember them. all of them. 

WHICH REALLY leads me to the whole heart of it!! 

richie tozier got the worst deal from the whole fucking thing didn’t he?

bill is married, he has a lovely wife, a nice home, a (somewhat) stable career that he doesn't have to worry about when he returns to his life 

mike gets to leave derry, finally, and travel and get away and not have to be the lighthouse for them all anymore

ben and bev get together, they’re childhood sweethearts, they get to ride off into the sunset together, have children maybe, definitely a dog, they get their happily ever after

and what does richie get?

a dead friend and a dead love interest. 

a tanked comedy career (because lets be real, it would be tough (if not impossible by todays standards) to come back from that).

a fear of forgetting the two most important people to him.

and the ever-looming reality that he’s going to die too one day and disappear into obscurity. 

#ecks barks back #'ecks this is incoherent' yeah thats the ADHD #richie tozier #thelxckblog #ask

[kinkymagnus]

Hey I've read a lot of your posts, where Magnus is a trans boy and I like that a lot, but I was wondering if you don't like the canon cis male Magnus? I'd ask you non-anonymously too, but I'm honestly scared of some people's hate messages for a question like this... sorry

long answer long answer lmao

hmgmgmnggg ok so i, hm. ok, i don’t think this was meant in a rude way at all, and i promise im in Education(TM) mode not Kill The Malicious Evil Transphobe(TM) mode like im not, accusing you of anything here, at all 

but i do have a few Issues with like, the way this was asked i guess

i will answer your question just--give me a sec, im a little uncomfortable here

also like, ok, i get why you’re sending it anonymously, it’s cool--personally i’ve never seen anyone get hate on behalf of trans magnus headcanons (rather than against them) but i mean, hate can come in all shapes and sizes i guess? and anxiety, so. whatever, it’s fine, i get it

but anyway moving on: first, “canon” cis magnus. my dude... my guy... did at any point magnus say I Am Cisgender or pull out his dick.... like... neither trans or cis magnus is really “canon” just as like, you know, izzy isn’t confirmed straight or bi or pan. we know she likes dudes and personally i think the way she looks at clary indicates she sure do like girls, too, but that doesn’t seem to have been intended so it’s debatable, and that’s basically it. 

also, in the context of just like... historical shit, realistically magnus isn’t cis. is he trans in the way i write about (like afab, “pre op”)? no, not necessarily in canon (although he isn’t... not that either i guess--we do see his flat chest, no scars, but HYPOTHETICALLY that could be a glamour, or the scars are magically healed. we know he has an adams apple, but there ways to do that without magic, let alone with magic. so like. i’m just saying.) 

but like, he wouldn’t be cis how we understand it either by the simple virtue of being much older than the western gender binary as we know it. even if he was born with a penis and all of that and identified as a Man(TM) And Nothing Else that wouldn’t mean his idea of masculinity/manhood would be the same as ours, or that it wouldn’t at least be shaped by very different factors. so like. even if my version of trans magnus isn’t confirmed canon, cis magnus certainly isn’t either i think. that might be slicing hairs or getting finnicky with language, but it’s how i feel about it. 

and just assuming that he’s canonically cis rubs me the wrong way, like, characters aren’t cishet by default, you know? obviously the writers probably weren’t intending to make him trans, and cc certainly wasn’t when she stole his character from dark hunters and made it “her own”, or else there’d be a bunch of transphobic tropes in there, but like, you know, death of the authors, we make sense of canon now. intentions arguably don’t matter, we do with the story what we will, especially when working within it.

again i don’t think you were necessarily being like “well magnus is canonically cis so :/” but it rubs me the wrong way and is something i’ve seen before so like, yeah

secondly, “trans boy” magnus versus “cis male” magnus. why boy, anon. why boy

(god why does “why boy” sound like a bizarre t-shirt slogan or a mbmbam segment--NO, BRAIN. WE ARE ON SERIOUS BUSINESS.) 

but seriously tho like the sort of infantilization of trans men is really a thing (seeing them as “soft bois” and “uwu cute boys” and feminine/soft/small/delicate) and like, specifically calling magnus a trans boy versus when he’s cis he’s a “male” (which technically can refer to any age but has those like, Connotations) sits wrong with me. like, magnus isn’t a boy, you know? i mean i get making jokes like “aw my boys <3″ or whatever, but with this it’s not that say memey context AND specifically it concerns a trans man (not to mention him being asian) so like, it feels, yikes? like just. he isn’t a “trans boy”

im sorry i realize it seems like im just like harshly picking apart your answer and i really dont mean to sound like a bitch here but like, again. Education(TM) mode not Anon Hate(TM) mode. just for learning, it’s cool, i’m not angry at you, it’s chill. 

to answer your question with the yikes language gently nudged to the trash chute: do i dislike cis magnus? 

simple answer: yes.

complicated answer: not really. i already stated why i don’t like Cis(TM) magnus as it feels unrealistic and dumb and also he just doesn’t have cis energy lmao, but if you just mean like... well this isn’t really “cis” but kind of what people mean in this context, AMAB magnus (meaning he was “assigned male at birth” aka has a penis and all that) and he’s canonically gnc so like, he’s “cis” even if his understanding of masculinity might be different than ours and obviously we’ve seen him be gnc and all that.... i don’t really hate that, and objectively, i have no issues with it, but personal taste wise, i basically only read/write trans magnus as you see on my blog now. because i’ve kind of absorbed it as “canon” in my head (fanon, i guess, lmao) 

plus, just generally trans magnus is really important to me because like, a) he is #goals i too want to be a muscular gnc hottie, b) he’s relatable and i project all my shit onto him lmao, c) it just feels very validating, in a lot of ways--with the sexual preferences i write about, his insecurities, just the way he looks, and him being trans is just kind of reassuring, you know? also d) i honestly think it fits him/his character/his backstory and he just has the vibes u kno 

so basically, Cis(TM) magnus? no-go. cis magnus as in AMAB/identifies as a man full stop even if it’s wibbly wobbly compared to current times and lbr no one is going to really explore that much beyond him being outwardly gnc sometimes? fine, whatever. trans afab magnus still being gnc as hell? yessssssss

ldkgjfgh anyway im glad you like my posts!!! and hopefully ive Inducted Another Into The Trans Magnus Cult (thats a joke, but seriously, im just like,,,,,maam do u have time for ur lord and savior trans magnus?? maam blease)  

[unfortunatematchups]

(Hello is this blog dead because I haven't seen you post since February)

nope, this blog aint dead. i have it open on a browser tab as long as im online to check on any new asks and messages. im going to leave a short explanation here for those who dont want to waste their time.

weve been busy with other interests and ive gotten something like a writers block. matchup block? since im the primary writer here, theres pretty much no activity as long as im not writing. thats it. no reason, nothing to do with personal problems. just a block. 

keep reading for the real reason. you might not like it, but here it is.

im going to use these john sprites to convey my emotion so it might clear up any doubts on how im feeling. lets start with the process of how i write a match.

this is what a draft looks like. i write out how i would rant about this pairing, errors and all, then i leave it for the next day to come back to this and clean this draft into a polished, three-pointer paragraph. the thing is, im the only one doing this, so its obviously going to take long. i dont mind, i love to type and see something spawn from my effort. 

the problem? these rants are people-specific. right. whatever im rambling about in the draft, its about the ask and the ask only. it wouldnt fit if you crammed it into another ask, it wouldnt make a lick-a-sense if it was used to answer someone else. but, when i start to polish it up with clear and coherent sentences, suddenly it becomes… static. it becomes plain and simple, uninteresting and linear. think of it like youre hearing about a book from someone you know and trust versus a review. the person you know describes why the book is great with a lot of passion and love, but theres a lot of errors in delivery and some awkward bits they havent flushed out yet. 

nevertheless, its enjoying and persuasive, because you can see how they love it so much to the point where it gets them like that. they dont plan out how theyll describe the book to you word by word, because theres no need to. seeing how it gets them excited gets you excited, so you buy their faith in the book. 

what about a review? its clean, its cut, its perfect in delivery. it has a flow, introducing you to the story and overall appeal, then maybe it digs down for a spoiler or two. it gels with you in a simple fashion, doesnt quite have that connection a passionate ramble has. because its professional. 

thats what ive been making this blog to be. professional. i answer the request with a polished, pretty and perfect answer. theres no personal connection. i could take a match, swap out a couple of words, maybe cut out a bit, and it would be clear for another match. it feels static to write those paragraphs, and it progressively gets worse each time i repeat the process. im chipping away at something so close, so personal and unique into something dull and professional because i want it to look clean.

but thats my end of the problem. i dont like how it comes out, so what? people enjoy it. they must be, seeing how theres fifty three fucking asks for matchups and 73 followers. 

i wont show all the asks i have in the inbox, but ill tell you what majority, if not all of them, sound like. 

“I’m bi/pan”, “I have brown hair/eyes”, “I’m chubby/short”, “I like art/gaming/reading/writing”, “I’m shy around people I don’t know, I’m crazy around people I know”, “I’m a nerd”, “I have ADHD/Anxiety”. 

of course, there are some exceptions. not everything i say is as is, but from 50+ asks, these are what about three quarters of them sound like. there are personal differences, like music tastes and obscure hobbies, but the general gist is there. 

im not going to say anything about the sexuality orientation, because im in a friend group where majority, if not all, are not cishets. yes, people like art and gaming. 

but thats it? these descriptors are such shallow answers. i can personalise a match for you, sure, but does it feel like its right? you like gaming. so what, do you like ALL games? from FPS to Dating sims to Horror games to Sports games to Adult games? do you like ALL art? Surrealism, sculpture, comics, abstract, even those where they splash paint and call it a day? really? i dont think im asking for a lot when it comes to being specific. some asks literally just go ‘im a bi female, 5′3, i like gaming and drawing, im sometimes shy but i can be sassy at times’. 

with everyone being so similar and vague, how am i supposed to give a match i feel is right? i might as well take everyones favourite boy david elizabeth strider and talk about how he likes your art and how he likes gaming and oh isnt it so great that you two like music. 

there are some unique ones, and its pretty obvious which ones they are because ive put in more love into them. and i havent been able to do that to many asks. 

and the physical descriptions. while im sure some of the characters do have types and preferences, i dont care for appearances. i dont care if youre fat or skinny, i dont care if youre tall or short, brown hair or blonde. you being morbidly obese or morbidly skinny may affect the match depending on how i feel the characters might respond to someone with those physical traits, but they shouldnt matter. 

i dont need how you look. i dont want how you look. its shallow and unimportant. it takes up space in the ask, because you could be using it to describe your personality or interests in detail. not that youre limit to one ask, you can send in an entire fucking fourteen page essay and id match you, as long as youre telling me something i can pair you with. 

telling me youre ‘chubby’ or ‘blonde’ doesnt help visualise shit. this shouldnt be new information to you or anyone else. writing shit like ‘he loves your curves!’ or ‘she likes how short you are because it makes you cute’ is bullshit and is simply self-serving nonsense. yes, its an additional bonus if your lover likes how youre short or fat, but that shouldnt be why theyre in love with you. a paragraph based on how much they like to hold you are appreciate your body is utter fucking nonsense. you appreciate your own body, and thats it. 

i dont feel inspired when i look at some of these asks. i dont feel like i should answer any of these because a) im not obligated to, this blog is just a side hobby and b) id be writing something i dont enjoy for people who might also not enjoy it. i dont deserve to sit at my laptop and write something i feel doesnt represent my work or ideas well, and the person who im matching doesnt deserve the half-assed boring paragraph of nonsense im pulling out of my ass just to clear the inbox. 

ive taken some time away from this blog and upon receiving this ask, i wanted to use the same old excuse every other blog uses: ‘we’ve been busy, so we went on an unannounced hiatus’. 

but thats not true. with the pandemic forcing lockdowns, theres essentially nothing else for us to do. if anything, this would mean that we have more time to write. 

so there it is. my truthful answer as to why nothings coming out of this blog.

part of this is my fault. i thought that maybe i could force myself to match all those vague asks that feel like theyre about the same person, just with a couple of changes. but i cant. i wont. im not going to keep writing shit i dont like, and im not going to keep giving half-assed matches, giving characters people are at the very least sure to be okay with. 

i want to write exciting, unique and adorable relationships. i thought that with the homestuck fandom being so vast and creative, maybe i would get the chance to meet and write for a couple of people who were just so different it would make pairings id never thought of. 

but nah, it looks like everything is the same. all the anon asks start to bleed together. the responses start becoming the same. im given descriptions that sound so tame, so generalised. like somehow, youre afraid of letting me know who you are as a person. or not, perhaps you just struggle with expressing yourself. thats why youre using anon to send in your ask, isnt it? 

i turned anon on because i wanted to respect privacy. i wanted people to be able to send in each and every detail about themselves while remaining behind a mask so they could get the best match without exposing every inch of themselves on a blog. maybe that was my mistake. 

ill leave the matches open, but im only going to do the ones that interest me. but if you decide that you dont give a fuck about the quality of the match, tell me or something. i have drafts that i can just post. maybe youd like that. 

-pretty obviously, mod olio.

[nycttophilic]

Guidelines

If you don’t agree to these rules and don’t want to follow me back—and if I have already followed you—please just HARD block me. It’ll help keep my dash cleaner, as well as make sure in my forgetfulness I won’t follow you again. Don’t worry, I won’t be upset lol. Thank you so much for looking at my rules!! 🖤🖤

Basic Rules:

-SEMI SELECTIVE AND MUTUALS ONLY.  This is for my own safety and feeling of security. If you want to roleplay with me, follow me. I will do the same for you if I’m willing to interact.

-OCS, AUS, AND ALL OTHER CHARACTERS WELCOME. I don’t care who your muse is. I’m all for OCs, crossovers, AUs, anything!! Just know I’m a bit more selective towards fandoms I don’t know about lol

-NO ONE-LINERS. I need some more interest in our thread from your end so I don’t lose muse as well. One-liners are fine for crack threads, but nowhere else. I’m fine with single to multiparagraph, and that’s how I will be writing.

-NO GODMODDING. I cannot express this enough. It’s my biggest pet peeve. Just don’t, or I’ll end the Rp immediately.

-PLEASE USE CORRECT GRAMMAR. I’m a bit of a grammar freak, so seriously. At least try. However, If English isn’t your first language, I COMPLETELY understand.

-MULTIVERSE, MULTISHIP. Every thread is a different verse, every ship a different verse. Simple.

-DONT REBLOG THINGS FROM ME. Honestly, guys this just gets on my nerves. It’s a bit irrational...but also irritating because when I check my phone and see a notification from a mutual, I get excited because I think it’s a reply! But then I realize you just reblogged that meme/musing/whatever. Please, only reblog threads from me and everything else from the source. This includes memes, musings, pictures, and promos. Also, pls don’t reblog my PSAs, if you agree with them let me know so I can post it to my rp memes blog, which I would LOVE for you to reblog it from!!

-REBLOGGING ASKS AND TRIMMING THREADS. I’m not as strict as a lot of people over this, but some mutuals of mine are so please trim your threads when you reply to me. If you are in a situation where you can’t, that’s perfectly fine. However, thanks to this new Tumblr update I cannot trim asks because I don’t have xKit. So I ask for you to trim them for me, and if you can’t either then I’ll figure something out. Also with asks, I’m fine with you reblogging an ask to continue it. I will turn it into a separate thread for my friends’ sake.

-UNFOLLOWS. There’s a low chance I will unfollow someone, and the only reasons I can think of are spreading drama, being inactive for over a month without a hiatus, something else that annoys me, or too many OOC posts. The latter is why I am hesitant to follow back personal blogs who roleplay on said blog, but it’s not impossible. I won’t follow personal blogs from side blogs, but if you let me know you are a side blog I will gladly follow where you roleplay.

-DONT INVOLVE ME IN DRAMA. I hate drama. I’m the type of person who wants absolutely nothing to do with it. If I ask about what’s going on, then you’re welcome to tell me, but other than that, don’t talk to me about it. I won’t take sides. I won’t tell other people what’s going on. I’ll only act like nothing’s happening. 

-SPOILERS. I will tag spoilers for everything that’s not in the anime. For example, if a post contains something in the BSD fandom that’s not in the anime, I will tag it. I doubt I will tag threads for spoilers, and if there’s a character that’s manga only I won’t tag it (ESPECIALLY if I write that character, like Daki.)

-REQUESTING MUSES. If you don’t request a specific character in an ask or a starter call, I won’t write it. I just don’t have the time to go to you and ask which character you want, nor try to guess what you were thinking when you sent something in or liked a starter call. So I just won’t respond to whatever it is. This is the case when requesting one of my muses or picking one of your muses, if you’re a multi like me. Sorry..!!

Romance Rules:

-NO SMUT. I can’t stress this enough. It’s not that I’m a minor (which I’m not), it’s that it makes me uncomfortable. You will never see smut on this blog. I’m fine with heavy make out scenes, but when the clothes start to come off is where I request a fade to black.

-I LOVE TO WRITE ROMANCE THREADS. I’m a pretty big hopeless romantic, as that’s where most of my muse is generated from. I may want to add a ship to our thread at some point, but will never force it.

-REFUSALS. NO pedofilia, NO incest, NO rape, or ANYTHING nasty like that. I understand that sometimes in writing dark situations occur, as some of these things are in my muses’ backstory. So, if you write any of those things, I’m not going to block you. However, if you request to do any of that stuff with me, I’ll say no. Press the issue, I’ll hard block you. I shouldn’t have to hear you request it the first time, as it’s right here in my rules and that means you didn’t read them. But I’ll go easy until you cross a line. 

-THERE MUST BE CHEMISTRY. Don’t bother trying to make a ship work that just won’t click, it’s a waste of time. But I’m more than willing to try things and see how they work..!!

-PLEASE RESPECT MY MUSES’ SEXUALITIES. You can tell a muse’s sexuality by what it says on their about. Most are bi/pan, but a few may be different.

Rules and things about me:

-I HAVE LOTS OF WRITING EXPERIENCE. I’ve been writing since I was maybe even seven years old, played games where I pretended to be a character irl since I was five, and have been actually roleplaying for approximately 7 years now. I’ve been roleplaying on Tumblr for three years. I really love writing, you know?

-WARNING, I WRITE GORE. I tend to go into detail about pain, suffering, death, and just very demented topics. That’s just a warning. If you have a problem with that, you may not want to follow me…

-TAGGING. Gore, murder, suicide, and other dark and triggering things will be tagged, but swearing will not. I swear far too much for me to remember to tag it. Also, I don’t post NSFW images or threads on this blog, so don’t worry about that, but I will tag asks and memes that can be perceived as nsfw. I tag things like this (using death as an example): “tw: death”. If you have any triggers, PLEASE let me know so I can tag them. There’s always a chance I might forget about something, and if I do please tell me. I’ll make sure not to forget a second time. Also, I ask you all tag vomit mentions, even if it’s just written, and ESPECIALLY TAG VISUALS OF THROW UP!!!! That is my ONLY trigger. Thank you.

-RESPONDING TIME. I’m a college student, high school student, and I work, so my responding time isn’t what it used to be lol. Please don’t pressure me over that..!! I also post most threads via queue unless I just need to send it out ASAP. I won’t bother you if it takes a little while to reply. We all have lives outside of Tumblr!!

-I’M NOT GOING TO SEND IN PASSWORDS. It just adds to my anxiety, and I don’t like that. That’s why I don’t ever ask someone to send a password in and just ask that they like my rules post! Just know I will always read someone’s rules before interacting.

-I’M ALWAYS HERE IF YOU NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO. Honestly, I want to help! If something’s wrong and you want to tell me about it, I’m all ears. I hate being upset or depressed myself, so I like to try to make others feel better. It helps with my own sadness.

That’s all for right now..! Happy roleplaying~!!

like this post if you have read it and agree to it, please.

Hello! My name’s Kiki. There isn’t really much to say about me, except that I love to Roleplay!! That and write, of course. And draw. And sing. So I guess I love a lot of stuff lol. Also, I am diagnosed with ADD (attention-deficit disorder), so please bear with me..!! One last thing, I’m 18 as of November 2020.

If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m right here and always accepting PMs!!

My main account is twx-sid3d, but I’m rarely ever on there so here is the best place to contact me. I also have a multiverse oc sideblog @hxlf-bred and an Identity V multimuse at @surviiived.

Thanks for reading! Have a nice day~!

#{ Rules }

[gizkasparadise]

how did you know you were pan? do you have advice for someone under the umbrella trying to figure out if they're bi or pan? maybe it's something i'm overthinking, any advice appreciated!

this is very long but LOL welcome to my Journey i guess. i bolded things to separate my figuring out “queer” and then figuring out “pan”

[homophobia cw/tw, mentions of abuse] figuring out i was queer took a long time. i grew up in a homophobic household and i was raised Very catholic. when i was coming into my teens/encountering was sex meant for the first time, it was during a time where legalizing gay marriage was very very much in the public sphere (i cant remember the exact legislature, but i want to say proposition 8?). i lived on military bases throughout my entire childhood.

i was also LOL living in wyoming at the time brokeback mountain came out & at the same time i was reaching the sexual curiosity stage--there were literally protests and sit-ins at the movie gates to prevent people from going to buy a ticket. wyoming is the most homophobic place i’ve ever lived and is where the matthew shepard murder occurred. it wasn’t uncommon for people who lived openly lgbt+ to be physically beaten up after school, and no one in authority cared when it happened. 

so i spent my adolescence in a household, culture, and location that hated everything it meant to be queer and made me hate myself and my relationship to sex very deeply because that’s what i was taught. i’d have go on what was called an abstinence retreat but now realize was a lowkey pre-conversion session where some fucker named chad (literally chad) wore puka shells and played an acoustic guitar and sung songs about jesus in between diatribes on how being a lesbian causes your family constant pain and how women’s bodies were meant to “receive” according to god. that wasn’t an uncommon attitude in the catholic church, probably still isn’t, but for obvious reasons i am no longer catholic. 

i had A LOT of internalized homophobia that likely registered as discomfort and fear around those who were out and made my relationship to sex toxic as fuck, which would later register in my relationships with men going forward. i’ve had a bad relationship to sex since i was a child, for reasons i wont get to here, but it was made even worse as i exited high school and began college. because of how i presented (”tomboy,” played softball, did construction, dressed punk, etc), people assumed i was queer. which made me uncomfortable because i was still warring with that identity, still very much living in a homophobic household and area, and still processing my own internalized hatred. then people insisted i was queer to the point of physical, sexual harassment--both from women and men. in the case of a particularly terrible relationship, the man i was dating insisted i was bisexual and constantly used that as a way to try to manipulate me into having threesomes (sidenote: when i came out i got a lot of ~i always knew and DO NOT DO THAT to people who are coming out)

so that set me back LOL

here’s what changed:

i moved. i cannot stress enough how important it ended up being to physically distance myself from the people who made my life so toxic (not just w/ sexuality, but again, that’s a whole ‘nother post). i was able to cut people out of my life who very much needed to be cut out of it. i moved away from my family (who i love, but love much better at a distance)

i made queer friends. eventually my number of queer friends outgrew my number of straight friends. i talked to people who made me feel like i belonged and feel like i didn’t have to hate myself

i took off dating for awhile after a particularly hard, emotionally abusive relationship. 2 years? i think?? (not that it matters. i was in a consecutive line of them for almost all of my adolescence) it was time i needed. and when i started dating again, it was with someone i could 100% trust (current spouse)

it still took a few years. comparatively i havent been out that long, but i am feeling so much better and emotionally healthier now that i am

why pan? 

this is very flippant, but i said it out loud and it felt right. i dont experience sexual attraction based on gendered characteristics (which NO is not the same as ‘hearts not parts’ which is a fucking gross statement that i do not endorse. at all). i dont see it as more inclusive as bisexual. more that there’s a big venn diagram between the two

figuring out where you’re at under that umbrella of sexual fluidity, however you define it, is a tough thing to do. im gonna be honest in saying get the fuck off tumblr and talk to people you trust about it. tumblr is so inundated in discourse and vitriol it will make you think that every single person hates whatever you identify as in the current moment. it fosters toxic exclusive/gatekeeping behaviors in the LGBT+ community. tumblr =/= the world. it IS helpful to talk to people and follow blogs through careful curation. talk to individuals on tumblr instead of going into tags.

almost everyone i know who is under that umbrella has moved under that umbrella, ex: pan to bi. there’s nothing wrong with trying on the different hats until you find something that feels right. none of them are inherently better or more valid than the other. i feel like tumblr contributes to the pressure of identity politics, esp if you (you poor soul) stumble across pan vs bi Discourse. i, for instance, am pan but if im called bi it’s not the end of the universe. sometimes i even use that identifier when im with people who are not from the queer community and i am too tired to be an Educator 

you don’t have to know right away. in fact, you don’t have to know at all. you can also change, because you change as you live your life. you could also use both! i know a few people who identify as both pan and bi. or identified as one and moved to the other. 

long winded way of saying these two points:

don’t only listen to tumblr

take your time

it’s your life. take as many detours as you need and don’t let someone else take control of the navigation

#asks! #Anonymous

[distracted-wlw]

Hi. I am really confused abt my sexuality and it kinda disturbs my day to day life because i think so much about it and its really anoying. I have felt like this for years and i dont know how to stop. Any tips?

here’s what i would do (and sorta what actually i did): for now, identify yourself with what you lean towards the most. it might not be the right one and you might have to end up changing it later, but that’s okay. it’s okay to not know who you are right away — and it’s normal too! it took me roughly 15-16 years of my life to start identifying as lesbian, and i found out i wasn’t straight around 12-13 years old.

just start identifying yourself with whatever you’re leaning towards right now. if it doesn’t feel right, then go for something else. with me i started identifying as pan in like 6th grade which felt totally wrong, then for a few years i thought i was bi which felt weirder, and then finally after a lot of thought i realized i was a lesbian and everything kinda clicked into place. it might take a few years, it might not, but no matter how long it takes you are so valid !!

sorry if this is long! it’s just my take on things. i hope it helps! good luck and have a good day :3

#asks #distracted wlw asks

[planetbass]

I FORGOT WHAT EMOJIS I WAS GONNA SEND BC OF WHAT U NAMED UR ASKBOX SO I HAD TO LOOK AT EM AGAIN DHJSSHDJ BUT HQ 🎥 💕 🏳️‍🌈

i accidentally xed out of this tab im going to commit kermit falling off roof vine. anyways im going to recreate the fuckign 500 words id already written best i can i guess. on the bright side, this draft will probably be much better than whatever nonsensical stuff i’d written before i accidentally thanosed it.

i Just changed my inbox name the other day but i dont remember what it is...... im sure it was something i thought was funny at like 3 am......

🎥 do you have any favorite scenes from your [special interest]?

SO fucking many. umm here r a few ig off the top of my head

the first thing that comes to mind is. the fucking scene where. theyre at training camp and hinata thinks there’s a . lost child among them or something and it’s fucking dark and scary and dramatic but it turns out it was just noya with his hair down (which added like 2 inches to his height)

any and all of the scenes in s2 with the 3rd gym squad (bokuto, kuroo, akaashi, hinata, tsukishima). 

in the manga, kuroo’s backstory abt how his shyness was “worse than [kenma’s]”

literally ANY and ALL times kuroo and daishou interact because theyre so fucking funny

kuroo: h

daishou: i hope youf ucking die i hate you i h

💕 tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

tit i cant believe you DO this to me when you KNOW how much i already talk about him and love him....

i think it really comes down to the fact that i see a lot of myself in him. it seems weird at first maybe, but when it comes down to his core character... similar. i identify with him a lot. he’s also a huge comfort character. poor kuroo suffers under all of my vent writing. it’s surprising i dont kin him but you never know i guess. 

idk if it still happens (it probably does tbh :unamused:) but he used to be characterized as like. extroverted sexy mccool guy by the fanbase and it was weird cuz kuroo is . A HUGE NERD. WHAT SORT OF KID, WHEN FIFTEEN YEARS OLD, DROPS THE TERM DOCOSAHEXAEONIC ACID INTO AN INSULT. his hair has no product in it to look Hot or anything it is not on purpose it is his natural, shitty bedhead from sleeping weird. he acts like a dumbass sometimes bc he’s a goofy guy, but he’s also SUPER smart. n people brush him off/think he’s joking when he says “i’m always this nice” but he IS he’s one of the most selfless characters. he’s really considerate and he helps people no matter what, even when he doesn’t have to - like when he helped tsukki during the training camp (not just on his technique, but he also helped him find his passion for volleyball) despite wanting to go up AGAINST tsukki’s team in nationals. not to mention that he wants karasuno to get better because he wants his team and karasuno to have an official match together to please his coach. AND despite winning against nohebi in the semifinals, when a group of strangers bash nobehi for their slimy tactics to scrape up points and gain the favor of the refs, kuroo DEFENDS nohebi even though he didn’t have to and when he has personal rivalry against their team’s captain. i will also stand by the fact that he’s anxiety disordered™. he just feels like a very real character to me n . i just love him a lot.

🏳‍🌈 do you have any headcanons (lgbt, race, neuro, etc) that are important to you?

yeah! a lot!

my biggest is that kuroo had/has selective mutism (n ppl can also interpret it as autism ! i just prefer sm bc thats what i got). that’s like. the One i will live and die by and it’s another reason why i really love him so much and that i see myself in him more than anyone else. as a teen and almost-adult i see him as still having some residual social anxiety due to the childhood disorder, and he’s hella depressed as well cuz it be like that. also for self-projection reasons i like arokuroo (i have that url stolen lol). ive never had a distinct sexuality headcanon for him, either pan or gay in my thoughts, but also since i see myself in him its hard for me to. do that ig?? idk lol

bokuto has adhd. i really support that one as well. he’s also ace!! he’s the ace ace!! i also like to see him as somewhat arospec, but in the sense that he’s just not really interested in that sort of thing? but he is still just... head over heels for akaashi.

akaashi has general anxiety n some social anxiety and also the pression. he’s GAY babey . ALSO he’s a he/him non-binary

kenma social anxiety babie. i mean, that’s literally canon. he has social anxiety. he’s also demi n trans. 

daishou is bi. i also write him as having paranoia. 

ask me abt any character n i can probably spit something out for u regarding lgbt headcanons. there’s too many to cover. 

#thank you.... #ask game #long post #toshidaves #ask

[sebastianejw-blog]

Queer

To me this is an umbrella term I don't really get because it's incredibly simular to just being bi, pan or curious.

I've always kinda classes myself under either bi or pan when I'm just like walking by people I can look at someone no matter how they identify & see that they are pretty. I love humans they're such an intresting thing to look at a person in a way is to look like art & I'm not trying to sound like I'm high or something but I genuinely just love people maybe it's cause I'm big on character design & photography but yeha that's just how my head works.

So to me I'm like okay so I like everyone or more or less, I don't give a shit about your gender as long as your an decent human to hang around with.

& I still stand by that but idk if that's my sexuality I've never been in a long term relationship I was in a short term one whixh was a nice situation where the guy was a lil sweetie & we kinda dated but never fully discussed it & we just decided we liked hanging out & being close cause we're teens & what the hell defines a relationship these days, it wasnt a bad break up we knew we wouldn't see each other much he had work & college & at the time I had new mates & college so we kinda were like if it's meant to be we'll connect later on & we still check up on each other sometimes even though we're hours appart & are doing very different things.

But other than that nada I was kisses by several of my best friend when I was a kid but I can't remember if I liked it & as a 6yr old probably fucking not lol so that's where I am I do find men more appealing tbh they're intresting to me which is apparently important in my head lol

I've had crushes on girls so again I know people are attractive but not really understanding what attraction is is a bit weird cause I can look at a person & go 'they're really good looking' but it's about chemistry & personality as well so litrally I'm gonna have to resort back to saying I'm queer or idk cause I literally have nothing to go off.

Personality wise from people I've met I lean more towards boys, I find the type of guys I like are repeativly very nice & funny & affectionate & I dig that

Where as girls have kinda just rubbed me the wrong way I just can't stand what people classes as 'bitches' or typical white girls I'm really not trying to offend anyone here but the UK is clapped seriously its the nerdy girls & the gamer girls who are decent people & you can have a good time with. Idk maybe it's cause I'm trans & I hate myself for being born F but still sometimes I just want to shoot myself around some girls that just go on & on & on like I like people who talk it makes things less awkward & if your confident I'll be more open to you but a part of my brain just switches off & I know people from like love Island or whatever they have relationships like that where your like married & your wife is talking about your day & a part of your brain just switches off & thinks about something else, I just wouldn't like my relationship to be like that no matter your gender when your telling you partner something you want to know their listening.

Idk this is a bit of a waffle about me not really understanding my sexuality because my gender identity is kinda colliding with it unexpectedly

Like I'm not completely out as a guy so if Im like 'I'm gay' then rn that's lesbian & tbh I dont really have internal homophobia about my sexuality I just have bounced form so many label it's annoying & I want something to actually be a solid fact& rn Im like idk yes I am definitely a guy who likes other guys a lot more than I like girls & yes gay men can egknolage that girls are good looking so I guess untill I have a relationship with a girl I am just gonna say I'm pan or queer cause they are the terms I'm using atm maybe more towards queer when I meet new people cause then I can just be like look idk yet cause I've never been in a relationship

It's annoying for me because I don't want to offend people if I'm like 'I'm pan' & then I'm like 'I'm gay' like a month later yanno I did that jumping in secondary cause I was really confused & then I thought I had understood myself but now I'm like 'is this the right term?' all over again :////

Honestly if anyone wants to chat to me about anything or about this lgbt stuff then hit me up I try to be as non antisocial I can 😅

[stanstiktok]

OK so you all wanted it. i could definitely do a fuller analysis over this but this is what im gonna start with bc im thinking about it right now. ill most likely have a thousand more things to add bc ill remember them later after writing this but heres my initial pitch as to why stan marsh is obviously gay. most of this is about his compulsory heterosexuality.

first of all we need to address the elephant in the room being his relationship with wendy. i feel like a lot of ppl are very quick to off him as being bi or pan or something. and while it may seem that way, personally having lived my life being a gay man throughout school, i dont think thats the case. 

his relationship with wendy is INCREDIBLY surface level. it seems forced more than anything. i take a lot of this from my own experience in being a gay boy at school, and i definitely had a ton of compulsory heterosexuality, which is exactly what i feel that stan deals with. you may think that younger boys at school dont really “deal” with that, but i assure you that your friends who are also boys can be brutal about this sort of thing when it comes down to it. 

stan more really seems to like, just like girls because thats the “right” thing to do. thats what everyone else expects. thats what everyone else wants. he wants to fit in he doesnt want to make  a scene and he doesnt want it to be talked about.

nothing about stan really says that his crush on wendy is anything other than this. the dude just likes her because he can, basically. there is no basis to the crush or them dating. honestly when you look at it it really seems like a way to assert the fact that hes “not” gay. putting your life into liking a girl you dont actually have any feelings for is something ive done personally in an effort to show that i was straight when i very clearly wasnt. i convinced myself i liked a girl to the point where it was unhealthily effecting me, i genuinely thought i liked her and thats what i told my friends, because i wanted them to accept me as a “straight” guy. Stan seems to mirror that, as he doesnt really have many reasoning into liking her. its surface level attraction, and he uses that as a ground to show that hes straight. no one questions you if you lie about it and convince yourself otherwise, dude.

if you dont buy into it, its kinda been scrapped as far as recent episodes go, but him throwing up whenever wendy would go to kiss him is an incredibly big indicator at this possible comphet. as its a gag, i wouldnt use it too much into the point, but there really isnt a straight reason to throw up when a girl goes to kiss you.

still on the point of wendy, her being genderfluid canonically also affects stan. stans confused about it, which is fair play to him. hes stressed out about it when she begins to identify as not just a girl. but he doesnt question her decision to do so or take any kind of action to break that crush towards her. i feel if he really was straight, and i know straight men, he would adamantly refuse this and stuff. but he doesnt he just kinda rolls with it. while i still think his crush on wendy is completely comphet, he doesnt make the move to change anything when she identifies as wendyl. its more acceptance towards it, despite how confused and stressed out he is at the thought. its also interesting how they make it clear to show his confusion with his sexuality at this point.

tweekxcraig is another example of this. stan becomes the focus. stan is the one whos confused. everyone else is kind of just like whatever about it, but stans the one up at night threating over 2 kids, who arent even really his friends, being gay! why would stan be a center in this if he wasnt also dealing with his sexuality in some way, it doesnt make sense for him to be like this. straight dudes tend to be god awfully sensitive about their sexuality, but stan isnt at all. stan questions it and questions himself. many others have pointed this out before, too. when there is an episode involving sexuality or gender, it always seems to point in on stan for some reason. always stan.

there are plenty of instances when stan is also called gay in a mocking sense, or kyle is referred to as his boyfriend or something. he never seems to fight that, though. he just kind of takes it! if he were straight he might be more adamant that this isnt the case, but i dont think he is. he brushes it off more often than not.

and lets not forget big gay al, i dont have to say much other than that for this one!

and im most likely forgetting a lot right now, but i really wanted to talk about the comphet aspect of this. i 100% believe that stan deals with comphet feelings and thoughts.

#stan marsh #htanks guys