Wild that anytime I post an update a lot of people read it and are even excited about it and have their own thoughts and reactions to it that I'll never know.
Comments are only the very tip of the iceberg with it. And I am Very grateful to commenters for letting me in on it. But in the same way that I'll be excited with my friends when a fic we love updates, it's likely that Other people enthuse with Their friends when my fic updates. And it's just so strange. An experience I'll never have access to.
Everyone's relationship with my fic is unique. So many different people with so many different circumstances and preferences... and the number of people that have told me that my fic is one of their favorites, some even saying it's their Favorite favorite... every single one of them have their own relationship with my writing.
It's just interesting to me. I think and think and think on my writing. I have my plans for basically the entire fic, the way I want it to end already thought out, all the major plot beats and the relationship progressions, All of that thought out. I love my writing so very much, but I'm on the inside looking out. This is my mechanical horse, and I'm in here laying out the groundwork and pulling levers and constructing limbs, puttering away making the horse move. Forever and always, my relationship with it will be more intimate than anyone's, and yet more clinical. Because I know it better than the back of my own hand, but I'll never have the experience of reading it fresh. Of reading it without knowing everything that's going to happen from now to the end and beyond. I won't have the thrill of the plot twists I have planned, the delight at seeing things progress, the horror at seeing things go wrong...
This is my mechanical horse, and I'm making it move.
I just always wonder what it must be like to see it from the outside. I hope to others that it's a pretty horse.
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Every day is a culture shock
Bro ive been on the internet for how long and I'm still in a perpetual state of culture shock?
I feel insane when I hear that people don't take family roles or family duty as seriously as I do.
My best friend loves to send me posts of People complaining about family and we both look like
Oh that's crazy! They're not even defending the family honor and reputation from outsiders????? Literally insane!! Even if you hate your family, you still have to defend them from outsiders. What's even going on?
To us it's like instinct. Even if your parents are straight up evil, you still have access to connections and favors by virtue of your last name. You have to defend the last name so you can keep using that. It's not a common idea? CRAZY! And what about your younger generations? You want to ruin it for them too?
Despite being females, we are both the firstborn son of our households. And then we go online and nobody knows wtf we're talking about
Wtf you mean you're the oldest and you're not at least the firstborn daughter? It comes with birth. You don't have any of those duties? Then what do you do?
Like obv were not robots. I have a lot of friends that didn't do some of their duties. Whether they disagreed or were lazy or just didn't want to, the word "duty" is always there. "That duty was stupid so I didn't do it". Fair. Your choice.
dude ok I know I'm aware other cultures exist and they're different. I didn't realize in practice its SO different. people look at me like I'm fucking insane bro!!!
I had a conversation with a girl and she's like "you're so lucky you have a great relationship with your dad!" And I was like "not all my siblings have this close relationship. I earned my right to stand as his equal by completing all my family duties (almost) perfectly"
Like I earned my right that when we argue I can say he's "being cringe". I earned my right to argue actually. I earned this by repeatedly demonstrating responsibility, maturity, and correct priorities.
Dude that girl said this sounds like child abuse and I was like dawg wtf are you talking about 💀 your parents don't let you earn standing? Do they even love you? (That was mainly ego. She insulted my family so I tried to as well).
I'm guilty of growing up in a mixed asian society. My best friend grew up also In a mixed Asian society but a different one. In mine, the largest groups were Chinese, Vietnamese, Thai and Korean followed by every other kind of Asian.
Her area's largest groups were japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, Indian followed by every other kind of Asian.
So it's kinda different but close enough. She knows how to eat with her hands and I know how to eat with chopsticks. We all celebrate 2 kinds of lunar new year. One by the south asian lunar calendar and one by the east Asian lunar calendar (don't ask, I don't know why we have 2 lunar calendars. You would think there's only 1?)
Both our areas, aunties will scold you if they hear you talk disrespectfully to your parents. Both our areas people will look down on you for not knowing your home language. Both our areas, the elders expect proper acknowledgement.
There are differences too. In my area, those who disrespect you must be disrespected In return. It's an offense to your family that they think they are allowed to disrespect you. In her area, the disrespect will happen but not to the face. You have to show you're from a better family. Here you have to show you are aware of the bullshit and you won't let it slide. I think its a difference between acting on behalf of your family vs acting with permission from your family. That's my speculation.
When teachers at my school said "grades don't matter" we said "then don't grade us? Liar". When teachers at her school said that they said "we understand, thank you for telling us" and then told their parents and the parents filed a report against the teachers for intentional misleading and sabotage.
The levels or respect and politeness and what kinds of actions imply what about your family were a culture shock to me. When I visit her, I have to adjust to be a lot more mellow and polite than I have to show here. Here, the elders accept any proper acknowledgement like "hi grandma" is fine. Even "hello" or a wave is fine. There, elders expect you to acknowledge them according to their culture. I personally fuck this up so bad because I don't even know who they are so i just copy what my friend is doing. And then I get the relation wrong and then they stare at me. Sometimes I'm lucky.
Over here, we don't really know too many people. It's not as social. Where she lives, everyone knows everyone.
I don't know how to describe this melding aside from just generally "asian" .
I log on to the internet and there's no shared culture except for speaking English 🤣 HAH.
It's like the difference between going to a swimming pool vs a jacuzzi
Vs jumping into a pile of leaves
Previously the common factor was water. Now the common factor is that it's matter.
I'm being so deadass I feel like me and some fictional characters from cultivation novels have more in common
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specifically looking at the hewitts since granted i know more on the remakes than the others but,
the hewitts only got vague, limited police action looking into them in '03 after erin chops thomas' arm off and gets away. and even though theres' coverage of it and everything, that literally ONLY happens after 4-5 straight years of the hewitts doing what they do, from 69-73 in terms of solely the remake timeline.
that's still a shitton of time to be ACTIVELY killing people to y'know. not fucking die yourselves. then combine that with the sawyers - their additional family members, their own trails of ruthlessness added into the mix, and this entire combined family unit likely has kill counts all around in the hundreds if not even way past that.
but even with the police involvement in the remakes?
its all SO SLOPPY, its hardly conducted with any real CARE about their own well-beings. like??? ya'll went into that house while THOMAS was STILL THERE... didnt even SECURE THE HOUSE.....
and even with the found footage? no arrests, presumably. the remaining hewitts are still at large, thomas is still at large. like... all ya'll did was corral them to their fucking confusing ass tunnel system and made luda (if we count the comics) far more involved and ruthless in the actual killings than she was in the movies lol
and yes technically speaking with charlie's death that could sever the stronghold they've got on the police and sheriffs' around them - but at the same time - how bad would it look of them to SUDDENLY flip a switch and try to unpack the years worth of missing persons, cold cases, murders, kidnappings, break-ins, assaults, etc etc that they swept under the rug? that's WAY too much man power, esp for back then. no one is gonna do that shit.
so. i truly dont think they have much to worry about even in the event of charlie dying - because the fear and influence they've instilled stands for law enforcement to continue to do fuck all - to save and cover their own asses.
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