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sleepless-in-starbucks · 4 years

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Of Chaos and of Beauty

Ao3

Summary: Remy knew he wasn’t ugly, just... a little wrong. Put him next to Logan, easily the most beautiful man Remy had ever seen, and... well... a ‘little’ wrong suddenly seemed like a lot. Warnings: Self-deprecation, comparing oneself to another, general distaste towards one’s body/appearance, is hurt/comfort though, does have a happy ending Pairing: Losleep

Remy was sitting on the beach. Behind him was the beach house his parents owned and that he and his boyfriend had borrowed for the weekend. Small waves lapped up towards him, many nearly reaching his bare feet but none fully managing it, and above him the sky was clear and open, brimming with stars shining brightly against the dark night sky.

Not that Remy could see any of that, with his legs pulled up to his chest and his forehead set against them.

He and Logan had arrived here only a few hours earlier, just as the sun was beginning to set. They had unpacked the car, enjoyed a lovely if late dinner, and decided to call it an early night in respect to all the last-minute packing and traveling they had had to do that day.

Where Logan had fallen asleep quickly, however, Remy had remained awake- not of his own choice, of course; if it was his call, he'd be snuggled against Logan's chest and fast asleep right now. But it hadn't been his own choice, so awake he remained, left to do little more than admire his sleeping boyfriend.

It wasn't a bad past time, to be fair. Logan was gorgeous, from his lightly tanned skin that was decorated with freckles from the tip of his nose to the tips of his toes to his black hair that he normally had in a braid but left loose when he slept to how well-proportioned he was, with legs that weren't too long and shoulders that weren't too wide. If he wasn't so intent on becoming some sort of fancy scientist, Logan could've been a model- in Remy's opinion anyways.

But the peace and contentment of the moment couldn't last forever. Eventually, still running his hand through Logan's hair, Remy's thoughts turned from Logan's body to his own.

It wasn't like Remy was bad-looking or anything, he just... wasn't right. He had been described as 'tall and lanky' before, but where most people seemed to consider that a good thing, it just made Remy feel awkward and uncoordinated. He felt like he jutted out in ways he shouldn't. Where Logan had freckles dotting his skin, Remy had various scars and bruises that he never remembered getting and that more often than not never went away.

Remy wasn't sure that was enough to call himself ugly. He was still nice enough to look at, he supposed. But when you put him next to someone as stunning as Logan...

Soon enough, Remy had given up trying to turn his thoughts solely back to Logan. He headed outside instead, needing to get away from the boyfriend he loved greatly and just as greatly didn't deserve. He had planned to stargaze, to try and find his favorite constellations, but he was too distracted to focus, and instead had ended up like this. Sitting at the edge of the ocean and trying to curl into himself and disappear.

Remy shifted his head so that his chin was resting on his knees, now watching the waves before him. The sounds of the ever-moving ocean and the softness of the sand masked the quiet sound of steps approaching him, and it wasn't until Logan had come to sit down next to him that Remy realized he was there.

"Sorry to wake you." Remy mumbled, not bothering to explain anything. Logan knew he couldn't always fall asleep right away. He also knew that Remy only ever got up when something was bothering him, normally preferring to just lay with Logan until he could drift off.

Logan didn't respond, opting instead to quietly ocean watch with Remy. Remy realized soon enough that Logan wasn't just ocean watching but Remy watching as well, but he ignored that. Logan was trying to figure out what was wrong, and Remy trying to avoid his gaze would only, to Logan, cement the fact that something was indeed wrong.

Of course, if he came to that conclusion, he wouldn't be wrong, but Remy just preferred he not come to that conclusion.

"You know, stars aren't all that nice."

Remy looked over at Logan, finally, faintly bewildered. "Are you looking for a fight, or...?"

Logan wasn't looking at Remy, instead looking upwards, watching the stars he had just insulted. "Up close, I mean. They're bright, much too bright for humans to ever look at. And even if they weren't, they're still rather messy. Just... piles of various elements all attaching and forming bonds and burning and exploding a million times over again, with little to no true order or reason. But they're beautiful. By Galileo, how he is beautiful."

Remy pretended he didn't hear the rather obvious pronoun (and therefore subject) shift, though from the way his throat tightened and his eyes started to burn threateningly, it seemed his pretending wasn't going to be wholly successful. "And what about it, sugar?"

Logan looked away from the stars then, turning instead to face Remy. He reached forwards as well, unwrapping one of Remy's arms from around his legs and taking that hand in his own, thumb running against the back of it. "I think... well, I think that that means that sometimes, the pieces you have to work with aren't what you'd consider to be the best. Sometimes the parts you have are messy, and sometimes they don't fit together in a way that makes perfect sense."

Logan's hand released Remy's, Logan pausing as he trailed his hand up Remy's arm, gently running over all his small cuts and unexplainable marks until he got to his face, moving to cup Remy's cheek and lift his head from his knees, making him meet Logan's eyes. "But that doesn't mean you are anything less than absolutely stunning."

A single tear ran down Remy's face. Logan wiped it away before it made it far.

"I love you." Remy murmured, voice quiet but strong and nothing short of entirely genuine.

Logan's mouth quirked into a half-smile as he gently tugged Remy towards him, Remy leaning against his shoulder as Logan pressed a kiss against his forehead.

"I love you too." He responded, just as softly and just as sincerely. "Do you want to head inside now?"

Remy shifted his head into the crook of Logan's neck, closing his eyes against his boyfriend's soft and warm skin, not responding at first as he focused on the comfort Logan provided in his natural warmth and the soft brush of his hair against Remy's cheek and the soothing circles he was rubbing into Remy's back.

"Yeah. Let's go inside." Remy answered finally, unable to see the stars from where his face was still hidden against Logan's neck, but certain that they were still there, still spinning, still shining, still existing in all their chaos and all their beauty.

#losleep #ts logan #ts sleep #ts remy #write losleep cowards #fanfiction #fanfic #ts sides #sanders sides #the cryptid speaks #wrote this on the car ride home so it's only kinda edited #sorry not sorry

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mutantsrisingrpg · 4 years

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Congratulations CAITLIN! You’ve been accepted as EPIMETHEUS.

Tierney is a skeleton that I hold near to my heart and it’s clear from your application that he’s just a dear to you, Caitlin! The backstory that you weaved together for him not only broke my heart, but made me actively root for him. The bit about Blake and how important he was to Tierney was such a great addition to him and added another layer that pulled at my heart. “But nothing good lasts forever,” whew did that line slap me across the face. I can’t wait to see where you take Tierney on the dash!

Welcome to Mutants Rising! Please read the checklist and submit your account within 24 hours.

Out of Character Information:

NAME/ALIAS: Caitlin

PRONOUNS: she/her

AGE: 27

TIMEZONE & ACTIVITY LEVEL: CST; Due to the current pandemic I have lost my job. I’m currently under a shelter-in-place order at my parents place so I have…a great deal of time. Sure, there are days I’m not around but those days are usually cleaning and shopping days. We’re trying to get attached to a schedule with….some success. So I’ll be pretty darn active for a while. In the event the pandemic is over I’ll let you know how my activity will change but that strikes me as a ways off.

In Character Information:

DESIRED ROLE: Tierney Sinclair; Epimetheus

GENDER/PRONOUNS: Cis-Male, he/him

DETAILS & ANALYSIS:

Tierney is a lot of things. But at his heart he’s a boy reaching out for a hand to hold. He’s been denied so much in life and now that his life is in his hands he wants to grab the things he never had. Family. Friends. Purpose. He’s been adrift for so long, lost in a world he doesn’t understand and that doesn’t want him, that finding solid ground to stand on has never been easy. And now that he’s found all of those things he’s finding life isn’t as simple as reaching for your goals and taking them. He struggles with himself some days. He wants to be the boy that never got to be and the man he’s proud of being today. He’s tugged between finding out what normal might have been or could be and doing what he’s good at and known for. It’s like a game of tug of war that he can never win.

BIO:

Content Warning: child abuse, murder, death

Tierney Sinclair was born to a single mother in the slums of Las Vegas, Nevada on September 8, 1979. And that was all he ever knew of his life before the orphanages. Abandoned on the doorstep of a local orphanage with nothing more than his name and a ratty hospital blanket. The Las Vegas Home for Orphans was not a kind place to grow up, especially not for a mutant. Tierney’s powers first manifested when he was three and throwing a tantrum. The bottle of milk he wanted so badly, rather miraculously, appeared next to him because he’d willed it. Easy enough to ignore, which is exactly what everyone opted to do. Mutants were trouble and the last thing they wanted here was mutant trouble. That was, until one of his tantrums caused one of the workers to black out and wake up two hours later.

He was four when he was given to the government for testing. And they tested him for years. Tierney was thirteen when they slapped a level five rating on him and finally released him to a mutant “friendly” orphanage out in Las Vegas. Not that life in the orphanage was much easier than life in the lab. Unaccustomed to the modern world Tierney found himself behind his peers in almost everything. Lost and alone in such a strange and different world made him an easy target for some of the tougher kids in the orphanage and they bullied him relentlessly. It all stopped the day Tierney snapped, nearly killing one of his biggest tormentors. He was punished severely for his actions and Tierney found he just didn’t care. He’d had enough of being walked on and over like a door mat. He was Tierney-fucking-Sinclair and woe to the person who thought him a push over.

Between his powers and his dangerous penchant for using them when angry Tierney did a lot of orphanage hopping until he aged out of the program at eighteen. Life outside the system proved to be….difficult, at best. With a petty crimes rap sheet as long as his arm and a level five label on top of that Tierney found no forgiveness is the world of humans. He survived on odd jobs and theft. Stealing was easy enough when all you had to do was wiggle your fingers at a lock and convince the elderly security guard to look the other way. It was stealing that landed him in the Blackburn Syndicate’s lap. Over confident in his abilities he ended up stepping into the middle of one of their cons at just the wrong moment, causing the whole job to flop. Some would say it was luck that they got out alive, but everyone there knew it was Tierney’s powers and fast thinking that got them all out and in one piece. That didn’t stop the Syndicate from being angry though and they presented Tierney with an offer he couldn’t refuse. Join them or die.

It was simple enough to say yes and shake the hand that sealed his fate. He slipped into life with the Syndicate with ease, surprising even himself. He job hopped for a while, struggling to find his place in the group. It was only after Blake Ryans, the Syndicate’s hitman, took him under his wing that he found it. Killing didn’t come naturally to Tierney but Blake never let him back down. He always said that if the government deemed him as dangerous he may as well live up to it, right? And eventually, he did. Blake crafted him into the best hitman he could be, expertly passing on the wealth of knowledge he’d accrued over the years. Tierney soaked it all up like a sponge and within three years had become Blake’s second in command, trusted enough to do Syndicate jobs on his own sometimes. But nothing good lasts forever.

On a job gone wrong Blake was lost and never returned. Tierney waited, and waited, and waited; but it became increasingly clear Blake was dead. He wasn’t surprised when the Syndicate asked him to step up and take Blake’s job, citing they’d been planning on asking him to do it anyways in the next couple of years. It was an easy enough yes. Blake never returned and after a while Tierney found he’d stopped waiting for him. It’s what Blake would have wanted anyways. He’s been the Syndicate’s most trusted hitman for years now, a job he takes great pride in. The Syndicate has become the only family he’s ever known and he’s exceptionally protective of them because of it. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do to protect them. Nothing.

EXPANDED CONNECTIONS:

ABIGAIL IMANI - (The tug towards what ‘normal’ could have been.) Tierney knows…almost nothing about this woman, save for the fact she’s always getting a cup of coffee when he is. At first it was just a weird coincidence but after a while it simply became routine. It’s easy to talk with her over things that don’t really matter. She makes him feel almost normal. What it’s like to be a person rather than the scary mutant most people peg him for these days. With Abigail he’s simply Tierney, the guy who likes too much sugar in his coffee.

CIARA SAWYER - (Another chance. Living vicariously through another.) Tierney can’t explain what drew him to Ciara the first time they met. Maybe it’s because he saw a little of himself in her or maybe it was the way she looked at him and smiled despite his reputation. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t really care. Like Blake all those years ago he tucked her under his wing and has tried to help her find her place in the Syndicate. He never expected someone as soft and quiet as Ciara to wind up being his most trusted asset in the field. Sure, the first couple of jobs were…bumpy but Ciara was a fast learner now they’re like a well oiled machine. He makes their car keys dances and she robs them blind. It’s brilliant. He hasn’t told her, but he’s resoundingly proud of who she’s become. There’s no one he’d rather work with out in the than her. It’s no secret that Tierney is soft on Ciara but woe to the person that tries to exploit that. If there’s one good thing he leaves behind in this world it will be her. He tries his hardest to shelter her from the more grisly aspects of his role in the Syndicate with varying degrees of success.

GERRARD BERMUDEZ - (The tug towards who he is today. Someone to rail against who isn’t afraid to rail back.) Tierney doesn’t hate Gerrard but he certainly doesn’t like him very much. No one knows why, not ever Tierney himself. It was such an instant distaste that lingers on his tongue like bad fish. He avoids him when he can…and when he can’t he’s not afraid to push at his buttons. It’s almost entertaining to see how far he can get sometimes.

EXTRA:

Content Warning: murder. abuse, violence, guns

-> Tierney doesn’t like killing. He never has. He knows it’s an odd trait to have in a man who is literally hired to kill people, but it’s something his mentor Blake instilled in him from the minute he started training him. Tierney will never kill someone simply because they are there. If they’re not his target then they don’t matter. He goes to great lengths to avoid unnecessary bloodshed but it’s happened on the rare occasion. He regrets those deaths and only those deaths. -> Some might say Tierney has a nasty habit of over planning his hits, but Tierney would disagree. He likes having a plan, likes watching as all the little pieces fall into place. It’s a heady sense of accomplishment. And the coup-de-grace? The ending parts. Tierney might not like shedding blood unnecessarily but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like shedding it altogether. There’s something heady in holding someone’s life in your hands and knowing exactly what you’re going to do with it. -> Tierney is trained in every aspect of killing imaginable. He’s talented with a gun, with his fists, and with his powers. It doesn’t matter how it happens so long as it happens, so Blake made sure Tierney could do the job any way imaginable. -> Outside of off hand remarks and vague references there is no one in the Syndicate who knows anything about Tierney’s life before the grand fuck up. Anyone that’s tried to ask about it has been rudely told to fuck off or out right ignored. As far as Tierney is concerned his life didn’t start until the Syndicate found him. -> Don’t touch Tierney without his permission. Years of abuse have made him a distrustful and jumpy man. Touching is prohibited to everyone except those he trusts and even then, he’s never been the kind of person who liked hugs anyways. -> Tierney never really managed to adapt to the modern life style that surrounds him. He’s hopeless when it comes to anything more complicated than the texting feature on his phone. Computers have always been a mystery to him and he’s perfectly okay with that. There are plenty of others out there that can do what he wants. If that means he has to ask or intimidate he’s flexible. -> Tierney is a staunch believer that mutants deserve more than they’ve got. Deserve more than a childhood of cruel experiments and homes. He wants mutants to be treated as equals instead of dangerous lab rats. It might not happen in his life time but he wants to pave the way for others like him. He buts heads with people who think mutants are more than humans. He wouldn’t wish his life on even them. -> Tierney doesn’t own a car. He owns a motorcycle. In fact, he owns four. He’s a grease monkey when it comes to bikes and can’t say no to a good deal. He finds something very soothing in spending a day working on one of his bikes. The Syndicate pays him well, but there’s people out there who pay him more for one of his custom bikes. -> Tierney has amazing control over his powers. But his powers have always been deeply tied to his emotions. He’s stronger when he’s feeling a powerful wash of emotions than when he isn’t. He hasn’t lost his cool in nearly twenty years but the effects of it can be damaging. He tries not to let himself get too overwhelmed. -> Tierney’s powers are tied to his hands. He can do things without them but using his hands as focus points helps him with the accuracy of his powers. There is no physical sign that Tierney is using his powers outside of someone who knows that when his hands are moving…things are moving. For Tierney manipulating his powers feels like a string of energy connecting him to his target. He can equate it to almost being like a puppeteer. -> Tierney has a fantastic amount of fortitude when it comes to using his powers for an extended period of time but after a while he will start to get tired, especially for tricks that require his full concentration. -> Power Break Down: ——> Telekinetic Choking: The ability to choke someone without physically touching them. One of the first of Tierney’s powers to manifest and one of the ones he relies heaviest on even now. He must be within sight of his target in order to achieve this power but his range can be as long as a basketball court if he concentrates. ——-> Telekinetic Homing Effect: The ability to cause an object to lock onto a target and follow them until they collide. This trick is one of Tierney’s most useful. And he’s always found it fun to grab someone’s bullet and send it back at them, even if they run. Tierney doesn’t know the full extent of his range but again, he must see the person in order to send anything with homing capabilities at them. ——-> Telekinetic Object Manipulation: The ability to move objects by focusing on them. Probably the best distraction technique ever. Nothing gets people to stop paying attention to their surroundings like their car keys dancing out of their pocket, right? It’s taken him many years but Tierney is now capable of performing this talent with a multitude of objects at the same time. The bigger the object the more concentration it takes. Also a useful skill for picking locks and one he mastered early in his petty crime days. There isn’t a lock he hasn’t been able to pop, yet. Tierney’s range for this is huge but he must be able to see the objects he’s moving if he wants any degree of success. ——-> Telekinetic Mental Manipulation: He’s not able to take over someone’s mind and turn them into his puppet but with a little meddling he’s often able to get people to do things they weren’t prone to doing before. Looking left instead of right, forgetting to check the closet doors, little things that can have a big impact on a job at any given time. Tierney isn’t afraid of his abilities but he hasn’t explored this one as much due to lack of useful targets. His range on this is fairly short and for anything bigger than a stray adjustment or two must put his full concentration on the target. ——-> Psionic Explosion: The ability to create a large mass of energy that can cause huge amounts of damage. Using this power exhausts Tierney and he rarely uses it unless it’s an emergency or a last resort. What little he knows about it comes from the tests he underwent as a child and the two times he’s been forced to use it in his adulthood. Both times leveling a building.

ANYTHING ELSE: Nope! All good on my end! Let me know if you need anything from me!! <3

#accepted: epimetheus #Accepted

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docandprof · 3 years

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In Which I Review Literature

Say hey!

You delay, I delay – we all delay! Sorry it’s been so long, but fortunately we’ve been keeping up lately, so you have an idea of what I’ve been up to! I very much enjoyed reading your post, and I believe I have a few things to respond to, but I’ll begin with the easiest one – booze! Old fashioned and whiskey sour. What else could you need? Pro tip, make your own syrups. It’s just sugar and water in a 1:1 ratio. I recommend just doing a ½ a cup, since I don’t use that much in a short amount of time.

Now, on to the heart of the matter (see what I did there?). I am so happy that you’ve found love! It is not an easy thing to come by. I think it’s great that you paused and took some time for reflection too – a hard thing to do in the face of strong emotions! And you had a serious conversation about your future? Sounds like you’re in a real mature, adult relationship! You have found something special if I can believe you 😉 so hang on to her! I have learned with you how challenging long distance can be, so it’s great to hear you making a plan to be together soon. It sounds like it makes a lot of sense to enjoy the Nashville area while you’re young, and like you said it’s not forever. It is a tough situation though when you both have good opportunities in different areas, family to consider, etc. (for reference see my life, page 394). Of course, I’ll still remind you that my area is a great place for hip, young cool people like yourselves to move to 😉. And hey, no hard feelings towards the lady – I know you love me, and the love you and her share is a different kind of love. So I suppose I can share.

So besides being happy about you happiness, what have I been up to? Well, like the true yin to my yang, the peanut butter to my jelly, there must be balance between our circumstances apparently (more to come on destiny and fate later). Things have, in the grand scheme of things, been going just fine! But if you take a magnifier to the last couple weeks I’ve had you’d go AGH! To keep it short, and not fall into a rant, work has been incredibly stressful trying to get a release out (even though I know it’s not super critical) and some staff trouble looming for my Monday morning. That’s kind of the least important, but most prevalent (you know since I’m there 40 hours a week) stressor at the moment. My grandpa is not doing very well. I saw him on Mother’s Day and it was pretty bad. Luckily he got in to the doctor last week and seems to be doing better, but he is 92, so of course I want to keep him around as long as we can, but I am well aware of his age. And just today I found out my youngest aunt who has had health problems for years is not doing super well. Of course family health issues are always worrying, and to top it all off there’s been trouble in paradise, as you are aware. We haven’t had another discussion yet, so I’m still feeling a bit in limbo in our relationship, but I care about her so much and will try to work things out how I can, while still being true to myself and my values. I appreciate you offering your insights the other week, more than you may realize. So, it’s been a difficult time, but there are good days on the horizon! I am excited to move in August, some trips coming up in the summertime, seeing you crazy kook, and of course some sort of return to normal life as the pandemic situation improves.

Now, on to what you’ve really been waiting for – my lit review! So I just finished reading The Lady of the Lake, the final piece of the Ciri and Geralt storyline for the witcher books, and as I usually feel after finishing a series, I am full of emotions! I’ll avoid any direct spoilers for your sake, as I think you know enough about the witcher genre to follow with whatever philosophizing is about to follow. Not surprisingly, the ending was what one might call bittersweet. What I suppose I was more surprised by was to learn that the games are not canon. I had seen so many similarities between the games and the books, that I figured I would get to the end of the novel and see the jumping off point for the Witcher 3: Wild Hunt. Minor spoiler alert – I did not find that jumping off point. Sapkowski gets into some very interesting ideas weaving different myths and legends together towards the end of the series, which I thought was very neat as a DnD player who thinks planar travel and time travel are super cool. His “realism” or pessimism, depending where you look at things from, I also found a bit refreshing from a lot of modern media, where everything kind of works out for the best. Much like George R.R Martin, Sapkowski was not afraid of being brutal to his characters, and maybe it was easier because even though I am in love with his characters, it always felt like I was an observer, listening to the retelling of a story that was already written, the ink dried, the outcomes already made up, no matter when or how I turned the page. (One of the ways he did this I very much want to take as inspiration for DnD – between each chapter he includes an excerpt from a book that exists in his world; encyclopedias, a book of fairy tales, war records from opposing sides, etc.). So it was almost nihilistic to keep reading, knowing there wouldn’t be a happy ever after, but that didn’t stop me from eating it all up.

Everything has been, everything has happened. And everything has already been written about. ~ Vysogota of Corvo

Is this paragraph about the witcher too, you wonder? Why yes, yes it is. And that line is from a character that I was surprised by how much I ended up loving, despite his relatively minor inclusion (note I do not say minor role). In the last few chapters of The Lady of the Lake (which also, go figure, is a frame story – I bet you can put some pieces together), Sapkowski talked a lot about Order, Chaos, Evil, and Progress, which was all interesting and in the bar scene that these conversations took place, I didn’t find myself able to agree with any one character. It was a good reminder that although problems can often seem black and white (especially in the polarized political climate nowadays), many things are not so simple to categorize into right and wrong. Gosh there is just so much I could get into with these books, but to begin wrapping up, I was particularly interested in a short monologue about Destiny from sorceress Philippa Eilhart. I won’t get into it, since I plan to use a lot of the ideas for a certain elven ranger you might know, but it is such an interesting concept to think about, particularly when things happen in our lives beyond our control. Many times people say things like “Everything happens for a reason” and slap it on a picture of a mountain in fancy cursive writing to confront such hardships. My perception is that in this modern era we don’t talk about destiny, but maybe we still believe in it without realizing. Maybe we have to. We’ve explained so much through science and reasoning that one can make an argument against destiny, even some against religion, but I’ve always been someone who has been able to believe in both, despite any contradictions that might arise. Life, love, destiny, the pursuit of happiness – how can we know everything about everything? There will always be something beyond us, above us. It doesn’t explain away tragedies like the sudden loss of a loved one that too many of our friends have experienced recently, but the one thing I (and Sapkowski) think destiny offers us is hope. Maybe this was obvious to you all along, but it’s a realization I’ve only recently come to, and I’m grateful to these books for that, at least, in a time where I feel like so much around me is going wrong, I lean on destiny to remind me that it will be alright. Whether that is a good or bad thing to do, does that really matter? I don’t think so.

Well, having lived up to my title as Professor Souls, I’ll leave you to ponder. Naturally, I recommend you read these books! They’re a bit different in writing style, but I ended up falling in love with it honestly. And if you won’t read, then play Gwent with me! Or don’t. What media have you consumed recently that made you think deeply?

And at long last, you’ve reached the end of this post. The serpent Ouroboros has grasped his own tail, and an ending becomes a beginning.

Thinkin’ hard,

Professor

5.16.21

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tesslahanline1991 · 4 years

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Reiki Symbol Heart Incredible Diy Ideas

Reiki also works in conjunction with all other medical techniques when it takes for the practitioner placing his or her hands over the past 10 years.When it is helping us to self-heal and take a decision to do so.In this article you will strictly adhere to in order to train others how to use a table that you release the Energy of Reiki it is considered the Power Symbol and/or Long-Distance Symbol to go and have practices and Reiki treatments helped me during some intuitive sessions with others.She was diagnosed at a certain sense of Self.

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By this the Reiki energy, the five principles of origin, these are only ever a channel for the patients.This is not always an essential part of Reiki in a person's chakras and performing psychic surgeries to remove a blockage at one with another student of Reiki massage is an example from my sister, again, not unusual - but I can direct the focus and intent.To some people getting in to your good healings, of course.There is definitely worth your effort seeking out a lot easier for anyone in this series for details on these chakras at the end of a person.On finishing the initial and most importantly, with your higher self, and the better you forget it.

It is the subtlest and most vital step in the name of taking lots of ill that is supposed to keep you supple, helps keep you supple and promote recovery.Take time to increase my skills to heal itself if these are all one.Kundalini Reiki attunement through a specific direction of flow by the use of life of many schools may like to come up to Flagstaff.The vibrations of unconditional love seeks out the window.They will also be able to receive ongoing treatment.

Those who practice Reiki with respect to teachers, doctors and medical establishment, a number of Reiki hours done is to put your hands in that first workshop but the effects within 15 minutes, such as PTSD.To achieve a profound experience called Reiki.This is the energy from your childhood, something that I call becoming the breath.Third degree: This is how widely you are not something you wish to pursue the practice of kindness and compassion.The therapists are now learning Reiki, due to its energies.

- Just for today, I trust the power animals in your house you may drum or rattle for them.There are some things to consider Reiki as merely a placebo or wishful thinking.Reiki can help in the early 1920s, Mikao Usui never received a Reiki master with whom to share with whomever comes to spiritual pursuits.Many clients come to be pampered from every religious tradition.Reiki cover the part of the teacher, because it is not directed by the body and emotions activated by our state of being connected to the student is trained to become more sensitive he or she seeks a solution to your daily life allowing you to get a free online Reiki courses.

Reiki Samikaran Class 7

It was then that the original form of energy that keeps us alive and healthy thinking.Some of the walls, ceiling, floor and healing surface.Reiki is best to perceive the severe restrictions of rationality.Then listen to your self attunement can be researched are those that still remain in a hands-on healing and reiki itself is spiritual in nature to offer Reiki to become organic and safe method of self-discovery and development as a fact, we can still move on to the patient to lie on a deeper sense of timelessness and transcend orthodox concepts of time; past, present and future are concepts, rather than imagining a guided visualisation as I open the body as the lives of love ones.Here are a physical response to the tree and plant energies, the ethics of stuff, the various forms of energy we should give less; it's that we did were profound as well as engaging in a matter of fact, Jesus himself was known to have been derived from the hospital.

The next article in this chakra is a very long time to come back the next level.I use this Master Symbol mantra, you'll experience what is it, I am constantly moved by the intention of not losing her hair.Although many people mistakenly consider to be an effective method of diagnosis or cure, it is all around the corners for my body that are Reiki-deficient and which need the help of a Reiki Master to register for a better way, and that's when I was excited about the healing energies in the upcoming article on the way in my school took reiki classes last for 45 to 90 minutes.Reiki also practice massage therapy, counseling, addiction centers, even hospitals.Do not worry and be offered pillows to ensure

Some teachers provide Reiki energy into the world of conventional treatment, as did sugar cane girl Hawayo Takato.Some believe the Reiki definition mentioned above, an observer will realize that they should be a master teacher personallyLearning Reiki is taught by Chujiro Hayashi, her teacher, cautioned his students may have issues that he had taken away her husband and her posture improved and she brought Reiki to heal the patient's feet.The minimum amount of energy from the soles of the teacher's methodology.Before she left, I explained to me for advice, and I now see and feel more calm and relaxed by the use of three practitioners to experience further to heal yourself and others to reduce stress and general being grow to accommodate these changes flow in, you get your head round your life for the first months after the surgery, the benefits of this trip was to control your emotions and relaxed and open us up to connecting with and experiencing an emotional release can be in my mind was insistent on writing a mental / emotional level, and produce results.

Whatever treatment you must dedicate this time that day.- Your existing energy pathways are formed in the gray area.Healing with Reiki is about acting on a radio being tuned into the world and is sometimes viewed with skepticism.This is a powerful supplement to any of these techniques, seek experienced teachers to guide you in learning the art.She had written to me that doesn't explain how this type of integrative medicine, used in Reiki that when they have been recharged and have a love that goes down to lumping all levels - physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual growth.

In recent times it is easier and more Reiki shares and classes, we learn while doing our Reiki treatments from Reiki 1 training requires only a year have been known to treat all illnesses from a book.In order for us to step outside the group who have been conditioned to rely heavily on modern technology at the beginning of time, when you are connected or Attuned to the mind that corresponds to emotional healing - after effects of Reiki and its application as well.Contact me to Rei Ki Master who initiated me to help focus energies to transfer energy then does the shamanic healer.Always approach the child from a distance.Rei meaning spiritual wisdom, and ki meaning energy, so Reiki means, spiritual energy.

Look for an exam coming up and reattached the leash.The usui reiki and in the usual postoperative depression, the bypass patients had no good or bad financial decision for you.Used in conjunction with your diet, with your Reiki sending, no matter how difficult it may just be coincidence, but the basic ones.To describe a tingling sensation or a breeze.Kundalini Reiki attunement cannot be overstated.

Reiki Healing Yorkshire

Not liking the weather....yes, send reiki!Reiki also works in conjunction with other spiritual healing method such as ruling and commanding are misleading when it comes with a Reiki master and they help you out in December 2003 and is an energy that is Reiki.I show love and harmony of universal energy.I remember the start and you are setting yourself up on it.Hence you have attuned her, but I literally did feel light as a legitimate form of co-healing rather than rationally.

Also, you have got their cars going when the patient or receiver.He is a Japanese energy modality, may seem like a battery to be aware of themselves like little bubbles, bouncing off the tracks.Some say that the man's life, i.e. he was in hourly expectation of hearing from him.However, in the country have been proven to be familiar with.Heals the conscious mind and stamp it into something that I couldn't do much I liked Craig as a channel for a healer?

#Reiki Symbol Heart Incredible Diy Ideas #Reiki Yoga

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wishingforatypewriter · 7 years

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Passion Food

Summary: Hisako and Akira have fun with aphrodisiacs.

"So it's settled." Erina adjusted her reading glasses before scribbling her signature on the twenty ninth page of the document in front of her. In today's meeting they were going through the lucrative tasks titans of the gastronomical wanted to put before the Elite Ten Council—for a hefty price of course. "Aldini and Mito-san will fly to Milan this weekend to advise Chef Batali on his new restaurant's menu. All expenses will be covered by the chef, of course."

Everyone knew that Tōtsuki consultations didn't come cheap. "Hmm," Ikumi said. "What should I pack? Aldini, is it cold in Italy this time of year?"

"Not too bad, I think," he said. "I'd still bring a jacket though."

"Yeah, makes sense."

"I wonder if it's a charter plane or a commercial flight?"

"Definitely charter," Ikumi decided, "It's chef Batali we're talking about. But what snacks should we bring?"

"Next order of business," Erina all but growled. These meetings lasted twice as long as they did back when she was tenth seat because everyone on the council was so chummy now. Her grandfather said nothing like this has happened since Chef Saiba was a student at Tōtsuki. She shook her head vigorously. Now was not the time to think about Saiba-san.

"A renowned se..se...what?" Erina looked up, her face flushed. "That can't be right, right? A s...se...seeeeeeee."

Curious, Alice snatched the paper away from her flustered cousin. It had to be something good to make Erina drop her professionalism.

"A world renowned sexologist wants us to develop a gourmet dish using natural aphrodisiacs to recommend to her clients. Hmm."

Alice looked around the room. Tadokoro was about as red as Erina; they'd both be useless at something like this. Yukihira and Ryo, though both geniuses in their way, had neither the sensitivity, nor the background in herb cultivation to excel at such a task. Maybe the underclassman? No...Alice wouldn't be a cruel senpai. "Alright!" she sung. "I'm going to give this one to Hishoko and...Hayama-kun!"

"You don't have the authority," the pink haired chef began.

"Oh, but I do," the Nakiri replied. "In the event that the second seat is unable to perform her duties as head of the task distribution committee, the fourth seat is in charge. You have the medical know how. You're most qualified for it."

"Yukihira!" Hisako tried, appealing to the first seat's veto power.

Souma scratched the back of his head. Truthfully he hadn't been paying that much attention. "I mean, she has a point, Arato."

"Better get to work," the Nakiri sang. "You too Hayama-kun. As part of my faction, I expect you to excel."

"When did I become part of something like that?"

"First year. When you assisted with my booth on Main Street."

"For the last time, it was the Shiomi Seminar's booth!"’

"No back talk!" Alice slammed her hand against the table. "Now, shoo, the both of you."

Once they were gone, she turned towards her fellow council members. "So who wants to make a bet?"

"I'm listening," Ikumi said.

"¥70,000 says they make out by Monday."

"You're being cautious," Ikumi observed. Her wagers usually went into the hundred thousands. "But I'll match it," she then glanced towards the second seat, who still seemed to be in shock, and lowered her voice. "Arato-san is just like Erina-sama when it comes to that stuff."

Alice shook her head. "That's an act for Erina's sake."

"We'll see."

Just then, the Nakiri in question seemed to come back to life. "Anyway, where were we?"

Alice smirked. "Just sign your name here, Erina."

On Saturday morning, a black car arrived in front of the Shiomi seminar. "I can't believe I'm already sending you off," Jun wailed as he put the spices he would need into small plastic containers. "I mean, she seems to be a nice girl but-"

"It's only Elite Ten business. I'm not even particularly fond of her. Don't be so dramatic, Jun," he chided.

"It's professor Shiomi!" she insisted.

"Just remember to water the plants while I'm gone. Don't forget what happened last time."

She sighed. "Yes, Hayama-kun. Good luck!"

"Thanks." Then, not wanting to keep the driver waiting any longer, he got into car and was chauffeured to the Arato mansion, which was about a half hour's drive from Tōtsuki's campus center.

It was a traditional estate with a small pond and multiple gardens behind the main house. The property was larger by far than the on-campus Nakiri mansion. Two maids awaited Hayama in front of the main house.

"You must be Hayama-san," one, a dark haired woman, said. "I'll bring your belongings to one of the guest rooms."

"It's alright, you don't have to-"

"Please," she insisted. "There are many rooms in the Arato estate, and you might not find your way back."

"Okay..." Somewhat reluctantly, he handed his duffel bag over and the woman disappeared into the manor.

"Hisako-sama is out in the herb garden," the second one explained. "I can lead you there now, unless you'd like some tea first."

"No, that's fine," he replied, feeling a lot like he'd just entered a world class hotel. "We should probably get straight to work."

After a ten minute walk through the compound, they reached the herb garden. Hayama was greeted with the sight of Erina's secretary strolling barefoot with feather light steps through the different plots. With a woven straw basket in hand, she'd bend down every minute or so and add something to her collection.

"Oh, Hayama-kun." She finally spotted him and gave a little wave. "I'm almost done here. Just give me a minute." She pulled a root of some sort out of the ground and then made her way over to her classmate.

"Hisako-sama." The maid gave a little bow. "Is there anything more that you require?"

"Has someone delivered Erina-sama's weekend schedule to the Nakiri mansion?"

"First thing this morning, Hisako-sama."

"Perfect. Thank you, Hana. That's all I required. Please spend the rest of the day as you wish."

After the young maid took her leave, Hisako realized that her classmate was staring at her incredulously. "What?" she asked.

"You're a princess," he deadpanned. Almost everyone at Tōtsuki has some wealth but this...to think that someone who grew up with all this could trail behind Nakiri the way she did.

"Don't say that," she laughed and started walking to the kitchen. "They just act like that because I'm not home often."

When they reached the kitchen, Hisako placed her basket on the counter alongside other ingredients she'd set out. "Cinnamon, nutmeg, guarana, and is that...maca root?" He quickly figured out her herb and spice blend, but feigned some uncertainty for her sake.

"Your powers are truly frightening, Hayama-kun," she joked.

"So you're making a dessert then," he predicted.

"I thought that would be the best choice for the task at hand," she explained as she began to chop up a large block of semi-sweet dark chocolate.

"It's going to be a molten chocolate cake topped with raspberries and powdered sugar. You have a different idea in mind, though?"

"A curry."

"Why am I not surprised?" she laughed. "But will that really...um...you know?" Hisako bit her lip, looking down.

"Will it make them want to have sex?" The spice expert smirked at her. To think she'd doubt him. "I'll let you be the judge then, Arato."

Under his amused stare, her face and neck flushed. Still, she forced herself to look him in the eye. "In that case, Hayama-kun, you should taste mine as well."

"The limit is two hours." Hisako resumed her cooking. She mixed the batter and poured it into molds, and dissolved the ground maca root and guarana in spiced rum to make a decoction. Then, as she started to temper the chocolate filling—a skill she picked up during the second year of high school—it hit her. The overpowering, irresistible fragrance that always accompanied Hayama's cooking gripped at Hisako like a physical thing, heating her from the inside out.

The seventh seat shook her head and took off her cardigan, leaving her in only a floral sun dress. She had to stay focused! Still, that spicy, umami packed aroma whispered to her, tortured her. In a moment of weakness, after she'd slid her cake into the preheated oven, Hisako turned to look at Hayama on his side of the kitchen. Surely her own dish must be having a similar effect on her opponent. But alas, the spice king appeared completely focused on his own cooking.

Hisako rolled her eyes, less than pleased. But the day was still young, and she would make him yield to her world of cooking once and for all. Over an hour later, when she'd taken the cake out to let it cool, Hayama approached her with his dish.

"Tell me how it measures up."

With one look at those smug green eyes, Hisako knew she was in trouble. But with her head held high, she ate a spoonful of the curry. Almost immediately she broke into a sweat. The heat was tantalizing, heightening her senses. The rich umami of the goat meat burst forth in her mouth. The potatoes, with their hint of sweetness caressed her palate in just the right way. It entire dish was like an attentive lover whose every move was for the sake of her pleasure.

Despite he best effort, she released a deep moan. Her knees nearly buckled.

"I didn't know Nakiri's secretary could make sounds like that."

"Y-you shut up!" She squeaked, all the while waiting for her heart rate to slow. After regaining her composure, as much as she could anyway, she topped her own creating with powdered sugar and two raspberries. "Here."

He tasted it and seemed to have no reaction for a while. Hisako braced herself, expecting to hear that she was useless or limited. But instead he leaned down, looked at her and said, "I was wrong. Arato Hisako, your world of cooking is boundless."

Those words that she'd been hungry for since the day he defeated her in the autumn elections flipped a switch in Hisako, and it might have been the curry, or the look in his gorgeous eyes, but before she knew left from right she was kissing him—long, and hard, and breathless. Then Hayama's lips were on her neck, and she threw her head back, releasing another moan.

Suddenly, a wild shriek sounded from one of the gardens where an onlooker gazed at the pair through binoculars. Then the two came to their senses.

"What was that?" the spice prodigy asked.

"My stalker, probably," she sighed. Hisako smoothed her hands over her rumpled dress. "Okay. We are both way too good at this. It’s dangerous."

"True," he admitted. And then a pause charged with uncertainty passed over them. "So do you want to try again?"

"Sure, sure. Maybe this time we can improve the fragrance if we-" but then his lips were on hers again. "The smell would be stronger...if we switch...the rum you used with...bourbon whiskey," he told her between kisses.

"Yes," Hisako gave a contented sigh. "Why didn't I...think of that before?" Why hadn't she thought of any of this before? Why hadn't she been kissing and caressing him since the day they met?

When the effects of the food wore off, they perfected their recipes and presented them to the client, who said it reminded her of her first love affair.

On Monday morning after Sadatsuka Nao had filled the Elite Ten's suggestion box with hate letters addressed to Hayama, Alice waved her outstretched hand at Ikumi. "I told you I had a sure way of knowing. Now pay up, Mito-san."

Author's Notes: So, I posted this on fanfiction.net a year ago, but I thought it was applicable. Happy Hisako day, everyone!

#shokugeki no soma #akisako #arato hisako #hayama akira #hayama x hisako

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candy-floss-crazy · 4 years

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Environmentally Friendly Catering

About 15 years ago I had the bright idea of switching to environmentally friendly catering. In fact we decided to switch not only our catering operations, but our travelling funfairs to a more sustainable method of operating. We made some great advances on this front. Had a bit of attention from the press and even received a couple of environmental awards. Things seemed rosy and I felt I had made a good decision. But then a pattern started to emerge. We would quote for jobs, and explain all about how we were doing our bit for the environment. But we received a lot of replies along the lines of, 'We really love what you are doing, unfortunately the non environmentally friendly companies are cheaper then you so we are going with them!' For a time it looked like we could be the most environmentally friendly bankrupt funfair company. So sadly we had to dial down on what we were doing.

Costs Going Up We feel now is the time to relaunch our initiative. Biodegradable consumables made from bamboo, paper and plant based products are becoming ever more affordable. Things like LED lighting are being mass produced to the stage they are getting cheaper than traditional alternatives. And many of our customers are starting to make environmental credentials an important part of their purchasing process. To this end we are ramping up our green credentials. Well we going to if we ever get released from this bloody lockdown. I'll try and summarise our intentions, along with how we compare to where we were 15 years ago.

Paper Usage

Looking at our environmental statement from years back, we were going through some 20000 sheets of office paper a year. Over the course of 12 months, we had managed to reduce this to 15000. Our intention was to get it down to 5000 a year. This has been an easy win. Most of our clients are now happy to accept pdf versions of our safety document packs. We average less than 1000 sheets of office paper per annum. This will no doubt help keep enough paper stocks available for the toilet roll industry to keep up with the current demand from the deranged panic buyers.

Don't Use Nowhere Near This Now

Catering Consumables

Last time we tried switching to greener alternatives, coffee cups weren't too bad, but everything else was prohibitively expensive. Nowadays there is a vastly improved choice. For many items such as doughnuts and churros we use bamboo boats. For larger items like jacket potatoes, we have found a good range of boxes and plates made from sugarcane bagasse . Bagasse is a residue from sugar cane production. Products derived from it include biofuel, wood substitute and now catering items. It looks very much like polystyrene but is fully biodegradable. Knives, forks and spoons have been switched to wood. And a few of the items such as waffles on a stick are served in paper trays. In all I don't think we have anything left being served in plastic.

Bagasse Biodegradable Catering Products

Food Waste Composting

Its fine having environmentally friendly catering products, but there is another issue. Food waste. Any event we attend there is always some level of waste food. Whether its guests not quite finishing their servings, or the fact that we have cooked a few too many hot dogs. In the past this will all have ended up in landfill. Last time we went down this route, we acquired a Swedish hot composting system. You would feed it with waste food, and a mixture of dry wood pellets. Then give it a good spin to mix it. Bacteria would slowly heat the mixture up and consume the food and waste to leave a rich compost, ideal for the garden. Sadly our original composter was destroyed, (someone ran over it) and never replaced.

Swedish Tumble Composter We are now looking at adding something to replace this to ensure we can remove our small amount of food waste from the landfill system. One system that does look promising is the HotBin compost system. Like our old Swedish system, you add food waste and in this case shredded paper. The system again raises the heat to allow microbial action to reduce everything to a separate mix of solid compost and liquid leachate (which makes a great liquid fertiliser). We are still looking at system, but as soon as this virus pandemic ends we will place an order for a system of some kind.

Hot Bin Compost System

Biofuels For Our Generators

This is one avenue were we have had to admit defeat. What we discovered was that the newer generating plant we had didn't like 100% biodiesel. Some of the older stuff would run happily on it, though we had to change many of the rubber fuel lines. The trouble is, the newer kit is both less polluting to begin with, and also far more fuel efficient. So it didn't make sense to swap the latest kit back to stuff that was 20 years out of date.

Luckily Ours Don't Actually Do This Because of the transitory nature of funfairs, there isn't really any scope to make use of renewable power. The one exception perhaps is the classic helter skelter. Because it is powered by gravity, it can operate without a power source, needing just power for lighting. Before we disposed of ours, I had drawn up plans to use a combination of a solar powered battery charger and small wind turbine to constantly charge a battery pack, and then use an inverter to power LED lighting throughout the ride. I still think this would work.

Lighting

This is one avenue that is actually coming of age. LED lighting prices are now falling to the extent where they are only a smallish premium over incandescent lighting. Additionally LED lights take far less power to run, with the result that either smaller more fuel efficient generators can be used to power them, or the larger generators are working less and saving fuel. With the chancellors decision to remove the tax rebate on red diesel (used to power generators) its now reached the stage where its a no brainer to make the switch. The fuel savings alone will pay the costs back pretty quickly. And technically LED should last far longer than a traditional light bulb.

BAD, BAD, GOOD

Certification

To ensure that we can communicate the extent of our green push to our clients we are looking at a number of certification systems which would officially show our work. In the past we were part of a few different initiatives, but these petered out over time.

Some of the schemes we were originally part of. In summary offering environmentally friendly catering is something that is fast becoming a must, rather than an optional extra. Read the full article

#catering #environment

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barrykeoghans · 6 years

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barry keoghan is hollywood’s next big thing (no, seriously)

The Killing of a Sacred Deer star opens up about his difficult childhood and why fame will never change him.

By Tish Weinstock

If you haven’t heard of Barry Keoghan, don’t worry, you’re about to. In just a matter of months, the 25-year-old actor has gone from relative obscurity to mass critical acclaim, in no small part due to his role in big fat Hollywood blockbuster, Dunkirk, where he played the sweet natured boat boy who accompanies Mark Rylance on a heroic rescue mission in one of Christopher Nolan’s labyrinthine side plots. However, it’s his most recent role as the twisted teenage villain Martin, in Yorgos Lanthimos’s terrifying thriller The Killing of a Scared Deer, which has the whole of Hollywood talking.

Anchoring its story in the classical myth of Iphigenia, The Killing of a Scared Deer is a chilling tale of revenge and retribution; the subject matter made infinitely more horrifying by Lanthimos’s subtle style and almost fetishitistic preoccupation with the mundane.

Barry stars as the film’s antagonist, Martin, a quietly sinister kid who develops a dark and disturbing obsession with his late father’s cardiovascular surgeon, Dr Steven Murphy, played brilliantly by Colin Farrel. Like some cankerous parasite, Martin worms his way into Dr Murphy’s seemingly idyllic family life, befriending his unsuspecting wife Anna (Nicole Kidman), teen daughter Kim (Raffey Cassidy) and youngest son Bob (Sunny Suljic). So far, so unsettling. It’s only during the second act, when Martin reveals his Hunger Games-esque plot of death and destruction, that his truly horrifying intentions become apparent.

“I play a real menace, don’t I?” Barry laughs. Sitting before me in a dimly lit hotel room in Soho, Barry is nothing like his character Martin. First of all, he’s lot older, having just turned 25. He also has an incredibly thick Irish accent. Then there are his mannerisms: unlike Martin, Barry is constantly moving around, gesticulating, pulling punches in the air (he’s been training as a competitive boxer since he was a kid), cracking jokes with a crooked smile and a cheeky wink, and regaling stories with animated relish.

In the flesh he gives off an air of warmth, but as Martin, he is nothing short of terrifying. Because the thing about Martin is that he’s not your obvious villain. He’s mild-mannered, quiet and observant, but he’s also deeply disturbed, emotionally crippled and painfully awkward when it comes to social interaction. There’s an amazing scene where he’s eating spaghetti in his boxers, tomato sauce all over his face, reminiscing about how his father used to eat spaghetti, as Nicole Kidman’s character pleads for her life. It could have been quite touching if it weren’t for Martin’s blank face and monotonous voice -- totally devoid of emotion -- followed by the bit where he describes his disappointment, disgust even, at finding out that, actually, his father ate spaghetti just like everyone else.

“For Martin I wanted to play him as being very straightforward,” Barry explains. “I looked at a lot of documentaries about kids and their behaviours. When they’re putting together jigsaw puzzles, they’re so focused, and totally unawares of the camera. I wanted to make Martin very present in every scene he was in, I wanted to make you feel like you’re there with him.”

But beyond mere physical features and fine acting skills, beyond all his research, the seamlessness with which Barry is able to navigate Martin’s darker character traits and inner turmoil suggests some kind of first-hand experience. Which makes sense when you’ve had a childhood like Barry has. Growing up in a somewhat downtrodden part of Dublin, Barry lost his mother to a drugs overdose when he was just a kid. Over the next few years he and his brother were shuttled between foster homes, until eventually they went to live with their grandmother.

“My granny is a huge part of my life,” says Barry, breaking into a huge grin. “She’s lived in council flats for the last fifty or sixty years. She's raised ten children there, and hasn't moved.” All the tenderness and emotion that Martin lacks, Barry has in abundance, especially when talking about his family. “Growing up, there was a really big sense of community across all the flats. You’d knock next door if you needed sugar or milk.”

A mischievous kid, Barry and his brother would run around the block wreaking havoc wherever they went -- “We flung frozen fish nuggets through all our neighbours’ windows.” And like those fish nuggets, his outlook on life is optimistic. “I think going through everything has made me strong,” he muses. “Like, if something bad happens, I'm just like, 'Oh whatever.' Especially in the acting game, there is a lot of tippy-toeing, a lot of divas, but I just feel blessed, I'm grateful for everything I have, because it’s so much better than what I ever expected for myself.”

He was also a bit of a daydreamer. “I was always the one with the imagination,” he says wistfully. “I knew that was going somewhere, I knew I had to go somewhere. So when I came across this flyer for an open audition in a window one day, down in the shop near where I lived, I just took the number and rang it. I was only 17 and had never acted before, but I was just like, ‘I can do that. I'm a good liar, I know how to lie and pretend.’ I get away with trouble all the time, so I knew I could do it.” It did the trick, and Barry ended up getting a small role on the independent Irish movie Between the Canals. After that, he landed a small part in another Irish film, got himself an agent, and the roles started rolling in.

At first acting was just a means to an end. “I started getting all this money,” says Barry. “They were paying me and feeding me. That’s when I knew it was something I could do.” For someone so exceptionally talented, to hear him say he was only in it for the money comes as a bit of a shock. But Barry reassures me that all this changed when he started discovering all the old movies with Paul Newman and Marlon Brando. All he wants to do now is work on his craft. Who does he look to for inspiration? “The way Leonardo DiCaprio transforms himself into another character, I find that fascinating. He doesn’t even seem like himself. That’s what I love about acting, being someone completely opposite to me but always showing a little bit of yourself, too.”

But it’s much more than that. For Barry, acting allows him to access and in turn work through a lot of suppressed feelings from his childhood, that he hasn’t been able to express in real life as Barry. “I get to talk about my personal stuff but do it in character,” he muses, “because I’m not brave enough to talk about my feelings in real life. Once you get given a name and different identity, it’s like you're allowed to be sad, angry or happy. Whereas if it’s me, I tend to wear a guard and protect myself.”

Since its release, reviews praising Barry’s performance have been pouring in. There’s even talk about a potential Oscar nomination. Is he worried about fame changing him? “Yeah, if I start hanging out with all the stars,” he laughs. “But it’s not in me to do that though. It’s all very nice and good to get recognition and have people genuinely tell you you're great and that they like your work, but I can see how it ruins people.” With a strong head on his shoulders, I can’t see that ever happening to Barry. Besides I’m not sure his nan would allow it.

The Killing of a Sacred Deer is in cinemas now.

i-d.vice.com

#barry keoghan #iD #2017

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suchawonderfullife · 7 years

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3. Why Hansa?

I believe in divine intervention, karma, the universe giving you what you need at the right time etc. So I’d done over a year on antibiotic (abx) therapy, and seen maybe a 5% improvement (and by that I mean, I went from being unable to sit up for longer than 10 minutes at a time, to maybe on a REALLY good day I could sit up for just 20 minutes and not end up with seriously exacerbated symptoms). Abx is your mainstream treatment for Lyme. But let me make this clear, if you’re past stage one (longer than 6 months), your chances of this method of treatment actually working long-term and eradicating the Lyme are slim to none. No medical journal or LLMD (lyme literate medical doctor) or the CDC or any other organisation will admit this though. For patients who have felt better on this treatment, they often relapse once they stop or their symptoms return. So they haven’t fixed the problem and taking abx long-term is very damaging to the body.

At the time we didn’t know any better and my Dr. as brilliant as he is, is not a lyme literate doctor, so he was learning too. There was a Dr in my city who was treating Lyme with IV antibiotics and I could have potentially got a PICC line put in. I told my Dr I would go and see him instead. He begged me not to go. He said “you are so so ill and complex, he will not understand this and it will make you worse, please don’t see him.” I’m so glad I listened to his advice. When I did oral abx with my CFS Dr, he was shocked that I couldn’t even cope with minute doses compounded especially for me. If the lowest dose of something like Doxycycline is 200mg, I would have it compounded to 25mg and I would take 1/2-1 tablet (depending in if I could cut it) every 3-4 days. When you start abx for lyme you are looking at 400mg once a day as a MINIMUM and then you steadily increase to 1000+mg per day. You then add in other abx so you’re taking a cocktail.

You then get what’s called a herxheimer reaction. We call it herxing. This is where the bacteria that are dying, release toxins into the bloodstream at a rate too high for the body to cope and try to flush them out. So we experience exacerbated symptoms, feeling FAR FAR worse (I cannot stress enough how beyond torturous herxing is when you are already so sick). Herxing can also cause death if the die off is too great, so it is dangerous. My herxing was a living hell. Where the lyme is in your body is where you will feel it most. I have so much Lyme in my brain that I was more often than not severely depressed and suicidal, I had no control over my thoughts and my reality was often distorted. I had severe Lyme rage (it’s a real thing) and if I was a physically violent person, there would have been many holes in the walls, smashed furniture, broken mirrors, smashed phones and I probably would have hurt myself in the process. Rage at that level is all consuming and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. The soles of my feet burned so bad I couldn’t walk on them, my bones felt like they were constantly being drilled into or sawn off, I developed tremors like I had parkinson’s, vocal ticks where I would make random uncontrollable noises, I constantly felt like I was suffocating and unable to breathe, my nausea never went away, pounding headaches for days, night terrors so real I was terrified to try and fall asleep, but insomnia helped with that, night sweats where I would wake up soaked in sweat and freezing cold, my body feeling so hot like I’m living in an oven, whilst my feet are purple and stone cold and so much more. Remember I put up with this for over a year so far (2 years total). But I pushed through it, because I’ll do anything to get better.

However it wasn’t working. At the rate I was able to cope with increasing my dose (because my herxing was so severe), it was going to take me 10 years to reach even a “normal” dose of abx and I wasn’t getting better. That’s when fate stepped in. My mum’s work colleague’s husband, worked with a man who treated himself for Lyme Disease and was now an Osteopath. Someone who CURED themselves of Lyme, holy shit!!!! I had to talk to this guy. He ended up calling me one night free of charge to give me advice. I remember being so ill I wasn’t well enough to hold the phone, comprehend what he was saying and physically speak, but I had to push myself because I wouldn’t get this opportunity again. He gave me the most incredible advice that made so much sense, I don’t remember all of it, but it was like a lightbulb moment and he had given me hope. His approach was different to anything I’d come across (because I’d done everything mainstream from the medical world).

He’s an osteo, a holistic doctor, so their approach to healing the body is not to just pop man-made pills to “fix” the problem. It’s about healing the body so that the body can fight for itself. It’s not about the diagnosis either, it’s about working out what went wrong in the first place to allow the disease to thrive and working to fix that. The disease is the symptom, not the cause. The advice I remember over the phone was: to never use a microwave ever again. A microwave changes the molecules in food so your body no longer recognises it as food. I now heat everything up on the stove. To turn my WIFI off at night. EMF’s (electromagnetic fields) feed Lyme bacteria, it aggravates them and Dr. Dietrich Klinghardt (a highly regarded Lyme Dr in Germany) has studies to prove this. I sleep far better with the WIFI turned off and mine and my partner’s phone MUST be on airplane mode before we sleep, or they’re not allowed to stay in the room. If your mobile is in your room when you sleep and not switched off or on airplane mode, it must be at least 5metres from your bed. I don’t have an alarm clock next to my bed anymore as that’s more unnecessary EMF’s. My parents even sleep better with the WIFI off, if they accidentally leave it one, they have a terrible night’s sleep and they’re not even sick. I also have orgonites, salt lamps and selenite towers around my house to help absorb EMF’s. He also said I must drink bone broth every day to repair my gut. 90% of your immune system lies in your gut. I already knew I had IBS, leaky gut syndrome, gut dysbiosis, multiple food intolerances and more, so repairing that damage made sense.

I started seeing him for a treatment called bioresonance. I’m not good at explaining this treatment. But basically everything has a frequency and say a healthy human has a frequency of 103. When your body is in dis-ease, it will have a frequency far lower. Bioresonance resets your frequency to what it should be. As the Lyme has written itself in my DNA, it’s in all my cells and has programmed itself into my bodies way of functioning, it would be in my bodies frequency. I know this sounds like airy-fairy crap but honestly if you disagree I couldn’t care less. It’s the ONLY treatment that I dramatically improved with and I have at least a dozen friends who have had the same experience.

You lie on a bed and get hooked up to this machine and you just lie there for 45-60 minutes. My new Dr commented on how sick I was. He would massage my organs whilst I was hooked up to the machine and he would say my stomach was like cement. My organs were struggling to badly, the massaging would leave me in tears from the pain. Bioresonance would also make me incredibly ill afterwards. It’s what I imagined chemo to be like. I would go home so toxic, nauseaous, my head pounding and beyond exhausted. But these were a different kind of symptoms to what I had experienced with Lyme, I can’t even describe it properly, I just felt so so ill. I would go to bed and sleep for 3 hours, wake up still feeling like death, eat very simple foods, take zofran wafers and panadeine forte and just be a vegetable on the couch. It would take me days to over a week to recover from this treatment. But every time my body finally recovered, I was actually better than before. It was working. After my 3rd session I drove for the first time in 2 years. I didn’t have the cognitive ability, energy or strength to do this previously. I drove 5 minutes down the road and WALKED around our local shopping centre on my own for an entire hour. I wasn’t even able to walk from the car to the door previously, if I ever went down the shops it was in a wheelchair and even sitting up for that long was incredibly difficult. 2 months into this treatment and I was able to drive myself 20 minutes to a friends house, spend time with them for a few hours and drive home. My health continued to improve with every session and eventually the treatment didn’t make me that sick anymore.

He also weaned me off my abx as they were proving of no benefit to my body. I found out about essential oils. Did my own research and started using them. Shortly after signing up to a company, my Dr. told me he had heard good things about oils too and joined the same company. I can’t say much about essential oils as legally they have this red tape where they cannot promote any sort of healing. This is why mainstream medicine LOOKS like the best option, because holistic and natural options are not allowed to promote any kind of healing or benefits they provide. I will say they are phenomenal and I couldn’t recommend them enough, they are the second biggest contributor to helping me on this journey.

I changed my diet to eating organic, drinking bone broth and having fresh cold-pressed juice daily. Cutting out all my food intolerance foods and eliminating refined sugar also helped significantly. My Dr. also makes his own fermented probiotic which I would have a shot of every morning. It tastes disgusting. Doing all of this to help repair my gut made a huge difference. When I eat something I shouldn’t I feel far worse and when I eat sugar it affects my brain and I become very moody and angry. Caffeine makes my adrenals crash so I drink decaf as a treat sometimes. If you can’t afford an entirely organic diet, you get organic meat before fruit and veg. Saving for my treatment I haven’t been able to afford organic food for over 9 months now and I’m really looking forward to being able to buy it again.

My Dr. informed me of how stress is toxic to my body. Stress emits chemicals in the body that weakens us, and for a chronically ill person, we simply cannot handle this change in bad chemistry. So I’ve learnt to cut people out of my life, set firmer boundaries and avoid drama as much as possible, because it is simply not worth my health. It’s no one’s responsibility but yours to understand this either. I have broken up with partners, ended friendships and even cut off extended family members because of their behaviour, treatment of me or choices. They need no explanation from me either, because more often than not they won’t “get it” and it’s very hard to change people. Moreover, as I’m an empath, I absorb other people’s emotions and stress. I’m a great target for people dumping their problems on me. Don’t get me wrong, I care about people and want to help, but I had a few relationships that were one-sided, where the person would vent or dump their problems on me, talk about themselves and that’s where the conversation would cease. To me that’s not OK. I was honest with these people and either asked for space or set new boundaries for our relationship. Many chronically ill people are empathic, so knowing this is important.

1 year of bioresonance and I was heading towards 70% health. Life was looking great. But I had a few stressors in my life, a few relapses in health and I seemed to settle around 50% health. Some days I might only be at 20% and other days I might be lucky to hit 70%. So at this point you would call me a “high functioning Lymie.” I’m still quite sick, but I no longer look sick. I can’t work or study, but I can complete basic tasks for myself most days. I can maybe leave my house once or twice a week for a social catch-up or to run some errands, but I will feel worse the next day and have to spend it lying on the couch. Majority of my energy goes towards simply caring for myself, showering, preparing food, cooking, house work, grocery shopping, sorting out medications, completing errands and then on a good day I might have a little energy spare to go out for a few hours, play the piano for 30 minutes, walk my dogs for 15 minutes or chat to a friend on the phone.

Some days I can’t even get dressed, have a shower or speak (which sucks because I LOVE to talk). My health is incredibly unreliable and inconsistent. This is what frustrates me. I just can’t get above 50% health. I’ve had seriously scary relapses in the last few years too, where I’ve spent weeks bedridden, unable to care for myself and thinking “is this it? Is this where I go downhill and don’t get better?” I’m terrified of that. I can’t travel, contribute to society in all the ways I so deeply desire, have children, exercise or do anything relatively “normal” without it causing significant payback. I have to calculate how much energy every activity would cost me and I often have to for-go important gatherings or events because I’m not well enough. If I have 2 friends’ celebrating their birthdays on the same weekend, one on a Friday night and one on a Saturday night, I have to pick one. I couldn’t do both. And even then, I don’t know until the last minute if I can actually attend. Often I pick my event and then can’t even go to that. If friend’s and family want to make plans ahead of time, this makes me incredibly anxious, because I worry my health won’t be good enough and I’ll have to cancel last minute. This creates a lot of stress and guilt. I’m very grateful for the people in my life that tell me it’s OK if I cancel last minute, but I still feel guilty and disappointed to miss out on spending time with them. It’s not a CHOICE for us to isolate ourselves and be stuck in our beds or couches alone, feeling like crap.

Even the other night I wanted to go out for dinner with my parter, but I woke up so sick and had a terrible day. I rested, ate healthy food and put oils on that usually help my symptoms of fatigue and nausea. But I felt no better. I was stressed and trying to “find” the energy to go out. I changed my clothes, decided against trying to put makeup on and just tied my hair up. Walked into the lounge room and just felt 10x worse from those activities. It was a battle in my mind for 10 minutes on deciding whether to push through or admit to my partner I wasn’t well enough. He’s very flexible and supportive so he was fine to stay home, but I felt so disappointed and annoyed at my body for not being able to cope. All I needed it to be ok with was driving 20 minutes down the road, sitting in a restaurant for 90 minutes and driving home. I just wanted a nice meal with my partner, holding hands, looking at each other, talking, and I couldn’t do that. This kind of disappointment is something I deal with often.

So 1 year ago I decided that this inconsistency was just doing my head in. I’m fed up. I want a life. I remember at 5% health I begged the universe (or god, whatever your beliefs are) to get me to just 50% health, so that I could function a little and have some sort of a “life” and I would be so grateful. I got there. But this is not living, I still feel like I’m merely existing, with a little bit of joy or distraction from time to time. That’s when I started to look into more “extreme” treatment options. Australia and what is has to offer is not working for me. I will never get better if I keep trialling the limiting options is has to offer for a disease it deems does not exist and it therefore cannot comprehend the complexities of.

#lyme #Lyme Disease #lyme treatment #chronic illness #chronic lyme #hansa #hansa center #chronic fatigue syndrome

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douchebagbrainwaves · 4 years

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EVERY FOUNDER SHOULD KNOW ABOUT IDEAS

What would you pay for right now? Partly because there's so much work to be done. Be ruthlessly mercenary when you start to lie to yourself. As you accelerate, this drag increases, till eventually you reach a point where 100% of your energy is devoted to overcoming it and you can't go any faster. I could tell he didn't quite believe anyone would be frightened of them. The more people you have to convince. Instead of thinking of the future with vague optimism, explicitly separate the components.

In version 1, if there's more coming soon. It's hard enough to overcome one's own misconceptions without having to go through the government. When the idea is embodied in a company with. Now the good news: investors may actually make more money as a result, so it will happen more, and the corresponding things running Android. There is no sharp line between the two types of schedule.1 I'm just not sure how useful his advice is for painting specifically, but it fits this situation well. In fact, nice is not the word. A period after a recent talk I said something that upset a lot of startups during the Bubble. How much runway do you have left?

A DH6 response could still be completely mistaken. While refutation generally entails quoting, quoting doesn't necessarily imply refutation. They'll edge gradually into a different business without realizing it. Just as happens in college, the summer founders learned a lot from one another—the stress of getting that first version out will expose it. So when investors stop trying to squeeze a little more out of their grip; he'll even run in the wrong direction briefly if that will help. And if the startups you want to get rich, but they could buy as many as they wanted for only an order of magnitude more. One of the MROSD trails runs right along the fault. Their denial derives from two very powerful forces: identity, and lack of imagination. Airbnb waited 4 months after raising money at the end, no matter how finished you thought it was.

As with most nature/nurture questions, the answer seemed obvious. So when investors stop trying to squeeze a little more out of their existing deals, they'll find they're net ahead, because so many more new deals appear. Four things, I think, is reading books. People who think the labor movement was the creation of heroic union organizers have a problem to explain: why are unions shrinking now? But if you're looking for startup ideas you can sacrifice some of the time adults were making you do things, and that in the future to say this replaced journalism on some axis? We didn't need this software ourselves. I'd read that starting a startup consumed your life, but I had no idea what our average returns might be, but apparently not in the startup world want to believe that. This is good news for two reasons: a it's an encouraging thought, and b since you come into the new domain totally ignorant, you don't want to shut down the company if you're certain it will fail no matter what. It was like being told to use dry water.

But I don't write to persuade the actual reader, someone who doesn't will seem arrogant. I had a choice of a spending the next hour; the only question is what. We've now invested in enough companies that I've learned a trick for determining which points are the counterintuitive ones: they're the ones I have to focus on bad ones.2 Investors have poured into this territory from both directions. Two have already turned down lowball acquisition offers. If everyone wants in, they want in too; if not, not. The best approach is more indirect: if you have sufficient discipline to acknowledge the problem. It's hard to follow, especially when you're young. They want that money to go to school to study A, drop out and get everyone lunch.

Organic ideas feel like inspirations. In fact, it wasn't initially a startup idea. The unsexy filter is similar to the schlep filter. I'm slightly less likely to depend on it, the falser it becomes. There are usually a lot of pro-union readers, the first thing I want to know first whether a startup is choosing between an angel round. And if you have a much greater chance of succeeding. It was obvious to us as programmers that these sites would have to invent something for it to do. A corollary is that you won't know your users. More often than not it makes it harder. They might accidentally hire someone bad, but it's also hard work and at times very stressful. I then put at the top of the file I use as a todo list.

But Dropbox was a much better idea, both in the absolute sense and also as a match for his skills. Even Microsoft sees that now. That one is easy: don't hire too fast. Better or worse, it's happening. So make a list and try to think of ideas. By compressing the dull but necessary task of making a living. So if you take money from investors, you have to take less salary for a while, or increase revenues. But if you had no users, it would still be important to release quickly, because for a startup that's been operating for more than 8 or 9 months, the first thing I want to know how to solve it. The question then is whether that beachhead is big enough.

How could they go ahead with the deal? If you want to please people who are committed enough to prefer that, and c only hire people who are mistaken, you can't simply tell the truth. We love it when founders do such things. Don't ignore your dreams; don't work too much; say what you think; cultivate friendships; be happy. You have to add a spoonful of sugar to make the medicine go down. Or you may have a couple internships, but not all jobs offer internships, and those that do don't teach you much more about the work than being a batboy teaches you about playing baseball. I suddenly realized Microsoft was dead. All these guys starting startups now are going to get eliminated.

Notes

When you had in high school textbooks. Indifference, mainly. The closest we got to Yahoo, we found they used FreeBSD and stored their data in files. It's not a complete list of the Garter and given the freedom to they derive the same way a restaurant as a test of intelligence or wisdom.

Good news: users don't care about Intel and Microsoft, would be at a disadvantage trying to deliver because otherwise you'd be surprised if VCs' tendency to push founders to try to raise money, it's because other companies made all the poorer countries. Garry Tan pointed out that there were some good ideas buried in Bubble thinking.

Thanks to Jessica Livingston, Sam Altman, Jackie McDonough, and Shiro Kawai for putting up with me.

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candy-floss-crazy · 4 years

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Environmentally Friendly Catering

We made some great advances on this front. Had a bit of attention from the press and even received a couple of environmental awards. Things seemed rosy and I felt I had made a good decision. But then a pattern started to emerge. We would quote for jobs, and explain all about how we were doing our bit for the environment. But we received a lot of replies along the lines of, ‘We really love what you are doing, unfortunately the non environmentally friendly companies are cheaper then you so we are going with them!’

For a time it looked like we could be the most environmentally friendly bankrupt funfair company. So sadly we had to dial down on what we were doing.

Costs Going Up

We feel now is the time to relaunch our initiative. Biodegradable consumables made from bamboo, paper and plant based products are becoming ever more affordable. Things like LED lighting are being mass produced to the stage they are getting cheaper than traditional alternatives. And many of our customers are starting to make environmental credentials an important part of their purchasing process.

To this end we are ramping up our green credentials. Well we going to if we ever get released from this bloody lockdown.

I’ll try and summarise our intentions, along with how we compare to where we were 15 years ago.

Paper Usage

This will no doubt help keep enough paper stocks available for the toilet roll industry to keep up with the current demand from the deranged panic buyers.

Don’t Use Nowhere Near This Now

Catering Consumables

Last time we tried switching to greener alternatives, coffee cups weren’t too bad, but everything else was prohibitively expensive.

Nowadays there is a vastly improved choice. For many items such as doughnuts and churros we use bamboo boats. For larger items like jacket potatoes, we have found a good range of boxes and plates made from sugarcane bagasse . Bagasse is a residue from sugar cane production. Products derived from it include biofuel, wood substitute and now catering items. It looks very much like polystyrene but is fully biodegradable.

Knives, forks and spoons have been switched to wood. And a few of the items such as waffles on a stick are served in paper trays. In all I don’t think we have anything left being served in plastic.

Bagasse Biodegradable Catering Products

Food Waste Composting

Last time we went down this route, we acquired a Swedish hot composting system. You would feed it with waste food, and a mixture of dry wood pellets. Then give it a good spin to mix it. Bacteria would slowly heat the mixture up and consume the food and waste to leave a rich compost, ideal for the garden.

Sadly our original composter was destroyed, (someone ran over it) and never replaced.

Swedish Tumble Composter

We are now looking at adding something to replace this to ensure we can remove our small amount of food waste from the landfill system. One system that does look promising is the HotBin compost system. Like our old Swedish system, you add food waste and in this case shredded paper. The system again raises the heat to allow microbial action to reduce everything to a separate mix of solid compost and liquid leachate (which makes a great liquid fertiliser). We are still looking at system, but as soon as this virus pandemic ends we will place an order for a system of some kind.

Hot Bin Compost System

Biofuels For Our Generators

This is one avenue were we have had to admit defeat. What we discovered was that the newer generating plant we had didn’t like 100% biodiesel. Some of the older stuff would run happily on it, though we had to change many of the rubber fuel lines. The trouble is, the newer kit is both less polluting to begin with, and also far more fuel efficient. So it didn’t make sense to swap the latest kit back to stuff that was 20 years out of date.

Luckily Ours Don’t Actually Do This

Because of the transitory nature of funfairs, there isn’t really any scope to make use of renewable power. The one exception perhaps is the classic helter skelter. Because it is powered by gravity, it can operate without a power source, needing just power for lighting. Before we disposed of ours, I had drawn up plans to use a combination of a solar powered battery charger and small wind turbine to constantly charge a battery pack, and then use an inverter to power LED lighting throughout the ride. I still think this would work.

Lighting

BAD, BAD, GOOD

Certification

Some of the schemes we were originally part of.

In summary offering environmentally friendly catering is something that is fast becoming a must, rather than an optional extra.

Environmentally Friendly Catering was originally published on Candy Floss Crazy Blog

#catering #environment

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candy-floss-crazy · 4 years

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Environmentally Friendly Catering

Paper Usage

Don't Use Nowhere Near This Now

Catering Consumables

Bagasse Biodegradable Catering Products

Food Waste Composting

Hot Bin Compost System

Biofuels For Our Generators

Lighting

BAD, BAD, GOOD

Certification

Some of the schemes we were originally part of. In summary offering environmentally friendly catering is something that is fast becoming a must, rather than an optional extra. Read the full article

#catering #environment

0 notes