#sorry for the ramble I really think about this game too much | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

weadapt · 11 months

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I think it’s interesting storytelling how in the beginning of the game Cal says the Sixth Sister’s name, Masana Tide, and reminds her of who she used to be—and it visibly distresses her because it hurts what was done to her and Cal isn’t wrong in what he’s saying. The shocking thing for me was the moment when Cal said “It’s time to set you free”. It was such a surreal feeling hearing Cal say that, those kinds of words, to know he decided it was time to strike her down; it’s understandable because she killed his entire crew, but for Cal to be the executioner in that way was scary to see coming after only experiencing the young kid he was in Fallen Order. Now you really get the feeling Cal has been through a lot, he’s grown as a man since Fallen Order and he’s calloused, not entirely in a bad way given he’d have to be to survive but still in a depressing way, as a result. I know overall and gameplay wise, Cal has killed a lot of people, it’s nothing new, but storytelling wise it’s a serious moment for Cal. It’s a moment you know is going to follow him the rest of the game for character development. After he kills her, it’s made clear by the music and by Cal’s body language that this isn’t a good thing coming from him. It isn’t a triumph. Even BD-1 knows and worries for Cal with his little “Boop…?” and Cal is only able to respond rather shakily, “Yeah… I’m okay”.

When he meets up with Bode and Bravo and they ask him what happened to the Inquisitor, he gives a simple, no emotion, “Dead”. The long pause of Bravo not saying anything in response to me says a lot; it feels like he isn’t used to Cal having a reaction like that.

Then we have Rayvis. Cal defeats him in battle and asks him to join in the fight against Dagan. He doesn’t want to kill Rayvis—“You don’t have to do this”. The oddly tragic part to me is that Rayvis has dreams of seeing Tanalorr again. If Dagan succeeds his dream will be realized, but he’s given up on the dream and wants a warrior’s death now. He wants to die, and in his mind, honorably, by Cal’s hands, and he’s going to force Cal to do it. But for Cal it’s another execution on his part. He pauses before he lifts his saber and kills Rayvis. It isn’t a triumph. Again we’re given a sudden swell of music to tell us the emotion behind the action of killing Rayvis. You can see it’s affected Cal badly. BD-1 seems to ask Cal the same question as before, “Boop…?” but this time Cal doesn’t acknowledge the question and just replies, “We should go”.

Killing Dagan hurts for Cal too. Dagan is a Jedi, someone who held onto the Order, who tied his entire identity to it and all of his goals are focused on restoring the Order and fighting to change the universe. Just like Cal in a way. Dagan is single-mindedly focused on the mission, so obsessively, he lost himself and the one he loved as a result. Cal understands and see the parallel of that kind of drive in his own mission against the Empire and it terrifies him. Dagan could’ve helped him fight the Empire but it became another tragic moment of having to kill a once fellow Jedi. This is another tragedy. Bode doesn’t care about Dagan being dead on the floor but Cal does. Cal has enough respect to place Dagan’s lightsaber on his chest. Cal pauses to reflect but Bode immediately gets back to getting the compass.

We have this interesting arch of reactions to killing his opponents. They were each killed for the mission. It was necessary. They each started the fight against him. No matter the reason though, it’s still very painful for Cal.

Cal is being pushed into this direction of forcing him to question his beliefs and who he is. His whole identity at this point has been tied to the Order, of being a Jedi, and it’s very clear by his conversations in Fallen Order that it really matters to who he is. By the end of Survivor, we have three fallen Jedi: Masana Tide, Dagan Gera, and Bode Akuna. So who is Cal Kestis? What will he become? Is he doomed to fall like they did? That’s what troubles him—“Let’s just say I don’t wanna end up like him [Dagan]”.

He’s afraid he’s going to lose himself.

The fear is almost realized when he’s about to kill another opponent. The one behind the murders of his friends and mentors. Cal’s been killing each of his main opponents up to the point at Nova Garon—this one will be no different. Except killing the man who sent Bode on the mission to infiltrate his team is different. Cal is on the edge of losing himself to the Dark Side. In Fallen Order he pleaded for Cere not to use the Dark Side because “She’s stronger than that”, “[she] still had a choice”. But Cal is failing to remember any of that for himself. He wants to kill because he’s angry, grieving, and in immense pain. Merrin has to bring him back—“This is not you!” There’s a question of whether or not Cal would’ve been able to stop himself if Merrin hadn’t been there though.

When we get to the final battle, Merrin is warning Cal of what’s likely going to happen but he ignores her for a while which prompts her to say, “Well? Say something!” He doesn’t want to acknowledge that Merrin is right and they’re likely going to have to kill Bode, and with that, taking Kata’s father away—a loss of family Cal and Merrin know too much about. So they both try and give Bode every chance to stop and turn away from what he’s done, despite how much Bode had hurt them. Sadly, Cal once again is forced into using the Dark Side to prevent Bode from killing Merrin. It was worth it. It was worth using it to save Merrin. He couldn’t let her be killed. He couldn’t see that happen before his eyes like he had with all of his friends and mentors.

After everything is over, there’s this sickly feeling left behind. Not simply because of Bode’s death, but because of the impact on Merrin realizing Kata has lost family just like she and Cal had, but also because of the impact the death of Bode has on Cal. And after Cal carries away Bode’s body, the music changes to an eerie, ominous, high pitch, minor key when we see Cal board the Mantis. The kind of change in music which lets the audience know there’s something seriously wrong. Things are different now. Cal’s different. And he knows it.

He’s lost in time watching the pyre, reflecting on everything that had happened but also on how grateful he is to Cere, but he knows the impact of her loss will continue to be with him for the rest of his life. Just like Jaro Tapal. Another guiding force in his life is gone. With Cere and Cordova gone, there is no longer any Jedi wisdom to seek out. He’s now alone in that way as a Jedi.

“I’m scared… I almost lost myself… I don’t know if I’m ready.”

Cal and the audience are left with the dreadful realization—

“I don’t know if I’m ready for what comes next”.

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cerise-on-top · 1 month

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Could I ask for some fluff of a Hank x Reader x 2BDamned? If that's okay, please!

Hello! Of course you can! Here you go!

Poly 2BHank x Reader Fluff

I would say that the both of them are rather busy people, so you won’t be spending too much time together. It’s not like they can make too much time for each other either, though. However, they’ll try. It’s fairly risky for everyone involved, especially for you. If you’re not part of S.Q. then you’ll likely become the target of some attack if you’re seen with Doc. If you’re seen with Hank, if people can tell you’re affiliated with him, then they’ll attack you as well. So really, you’ll be at a disadvantage either way. However, it’s not like either of them feel like going out too much with you. Yes, Hank will want to get some hot dogs with you at some point since he does like those, but after a mission he’s usually torn as a rag and just wants to sleep. Doc is well aware of the dangers he poses towards your wellbeing, so he actively chooses to not go out with you too much either. However, that doesn’t mean that the three of you can’t be lovey dovey at home. It’s very rare to see Hank and Doc cuddle properly with each other, but it happens. Neither of them are touchy people, but sometimes you just desire the touch of a loved one, so you might catch Hank sitting on the floor next to Doc from time to time, his head in his lap. Hank could fall asleep like this too, actually, but he wants to protect you and Doc, so he usually doesn’t. Doc sometimes has a hand on Hank’s shoulder and gently rubs it to show he’s there for him, but he needs his other hand to go through files. If you join Hank on his endeavours, cuddling up to Doc yourself, then the grunt will sigh in feign annoyance and get away from his work for some time to give the two of you some attention. You can get him to settle down for the night like this as well, but he will only begrudgingly do so. 2B may not be the cuddliest person out there, and neither is Hank, but he does enjoy some physical touch from time to time. You will likely switch it up when it comes to cuddling. While you may be the little spoon now, chances are you’ll be the big spoon next time. 2B and Hank are versatile like that. While Hank may prefer holding someone as he falls asleep, if he’s not headed to bed then he can go either way.

Although it’s rare for Hank to show his softer side, he will do so for you and Doc only. Sometimes he’ll come back from a mission, bloody and almost entirely disassembled, holding a few flowers he found. Maybe even a nice scarf or a cool weapon. Despite being a very confident grunt, he knows he can easily protect you, he does believe that you having a weapon yourself would help you with defending yourself. Sometimes he’ll get you a nice katana, one like he has. Other times you can expect a rocket launcher or chainsaw from him as well. His metaphorical tail starts wagging whenever either you or Doc accept his gifts and thank him. He did a good job on this one, you will be safe and sound from here on out. Give him a nice pat, either on his arm or head, and he’ll happily grunt away. Doc pats Hank from time to time and Hank absolutely loves it. However, only you and Doc are allowed to do that, anyone else will be dealt with immediately. Hank definitely doesn’t mind being treated like a dog from time to time. If he’s in a good mood you can call him a good boy and put his face in your hands, he eats that right up. Be enthusiastic about it as well and he’ll lightly headbutt you. Don’t get mad at him for doing so, he doesn’t know what to do with these positive emotions, so he goes straight for gentle violence again.

Going on dates with the two of them mostly consists of something simple. Doc usually suggests Burger Gil’s since no one cares that Hank is there. People are there for the food, not to get mauled by Hank, so they usually leave you alone. Sometimes the three of you go to take a look at the red sun on a cliff as well, though, and reminisce about the better times. Hank still remembers the greenery that used to be in Nevada. He doesn’t remember it well since he doesn’t miss it in the slightest, but he’s lived a good chunk of his life surrounded by plants. Doc barely remembers them, but he still thinks back on them fondly. While neither of the two of them may be sentimental people, they do like discussing the past. There’s always something new to be learned about each other. There’s this unspoken trust between the three of you, so you know each other better than anyone else. For example, you know that Hank likes being picked up, even if he’s far too tall and heavy for that these days. Sometimes you pretend to try and pick him up just to make him feel good. One fact you’ve learned about Doc is that he sometimes, when you and Hank are asleep, likes to hold one hand of each of you. Sometimes he can’t sleep well, or at all, so he opts to spend that time resting from time to time. He won’t particularly go all out in holding you since he doesn’t wanna risk waking you, you’re both extremely tired, after all, but he does like holding your hands, sometimes playing with your fingers as well. He denies this, but you both know it happens. Sometimes Hank makes fun of Doc for it in his usual demeanour, but he secretly loves it. Hank’s favourite activity aside from killing and maiming is helping you and Doc out with whatever you need, even if it’s just holding the wrench. Doc loves showing you his creations. While he knows you likely won’t understand a word he’s saying, he explains them to you anyway. Besides, if he’s made a mistake thinking it over, then he’s more likely to find it while talking. Besides, he gets to spend time with you, what else could he possibly want?

#madness combat #madness combat x reader #hank j wimbleton #hank j wimbleton x reader #2bdamned #madness combat doc #2bdamned x reader #doc x reader #this got surprisingly long sorry about that. I was just in a writing groove it seems #really tired again today but hey tomorrow is Thursday for me and on Friday I'm gonna take a nap #it's been fun writing for Madcom again but I really gotta replay the game. I haven't had the time to do that just yet #between work and writing and other mandatory things I barely have time for anything at all these days #I barely get an hour for myself per day these day unfortunately. but oh well. writing can be fun #I just wish I had more ideas of my own on what to write. I had an idea today but I'm not sure if I should write it #well I don't have much to say. but I think I'm gonna write Hank differently from how I used to #I still have a few requests I wrote back then that I never posted plus another drabble about white Hank in my drafts #it's finished but I haven't gotten around to posting it since I'm not satisfied with it at all. writer's curse I suppose #I think I'm gonna cut my rambles short this time. have a nice day anon. and anyone else reading this too

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todayisafridaynight · 1 month

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would it be okay if u told me why u like aoki😭/gen😭😭😭😭BEEN TRYNA LIKE HIM FOR SO LONG I JUST CANTT but i love ur art so much so i still consume it otherwise lol

i liked tohru adachi in high school and tbh i think that alone is enough of an explanation for why i ended up liking aoki

#snap chats #haha see i told you last post's tags were relevant #anyway vLKVJEVLKAEJVLKJ IM CRYING ANON youre so funny. this is the funniest ask i coulda got thank you so much #i dont know why i like him either <- yes i do #fine lets get Real Talk about it #well first off all i thought he looked hot rolling out the elevator and i was playing the eng dub and i think his voice sounds hot there #and thats like. not athing that happens to me ever <- literally thought sawashiro was hot two frames into the game but anyway #i like politician characters. or characters that are in a position of power ESPECIALLY if they have to act like they dont suck balls #like i very much love the idea of the power of charisma and that type of thing not to mention the 'strategizing' as aoki puts it #that comes with politics. LIKE HE SUCKS DONT GET IT TWISTED HE SUCKS BUT //shrug emoji//#like its why i love the mine rggo stories i like seeing mine's thought process and how he uses his intelligence #smart's sexy to me idk what to tell you but moving on #its fun watching him lose his cool too ESP IN HIS FIGHT LMAO HE STOMPIN HIS FOOT LIKE A TODDLER SHUT UP #i also really love the arakawa family in general and thinking of aoki's relationship with each of them makes my brain explode #especially him and sawashiro that shit is painful to watch and i love it so much #i also thought him going from goth to republican was the funniest shit in the world like i howled at that AND i was distraught #aokis so interesting to me from the notion that he IS loved by his family but he has so much hatred for himself it eats him up #and as a result he cant be happy no matter what he does- how hes constantly seeking validation even if it's nothing meaningful #his lil. Dog-Eat-Dog world world belief to ichi also appealed to my edgy depressed high schooler brain. sorry.#his speech at the lockers also got to me. unfortunately. sorry everyone i empathized too hard it got too real it wasnt funny anymore #like as much as i complain bout the very end the ending is what solidified me liking aoki if not also cause of ichi's impact in those scene #plus... analyzing him and the environment around him is so much fun too....#idk reasons for why i like aoki also boil down to personal reasons. he still sucks tho so i cant be upset when people hate him LOL #i probably have more reasons or could elaborate more i love rambling but i mean. who really wants to read all that 💀💀#maybe for a character that WASNT the worst but. aoki is so LMAO #thank you for loving my art regardless :) im sorry i have to be attached to the worst guys ever

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obey-me-headquarters · 11 months

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Impatience fills the air. Like a tiger ready to strike or a coiled band bending to break. The atmosphere hangs heavily between you, Cove, and Baxter.

It was a normal evening for the three of you, or as normal as your new relationship could be. An evening spent in and enjoying each other's cooking that started out playful slowly turned more and more heated as the night went on.

With the food eaten and the dishes being washed, the tension was palpable. Baxter is on washing duty, while Cove dries and you put the dishes away. Every touch as plants were passed lingered, and glances got more and more heated.

Finally, the band broke. Lunging forward, you grab Baxter by the collar and push him against the sink. He raises his eyebrows at the suddenness but melts into the kiss with a needy moan.

Cove sheepishly glances over his shoulder at the two of you, wet dish still in hand. His eagerness bleeding through, but his shyness halting him from making any sudden moves.

Your tongue slips into Baxter's willing mouth, welcomed with a needy moan. The both of you were nearly lost in your heated embrace. Tongues pressing against each other and hands desperately clenching clothing. Yet your mind couldn't help but wander to your other partner. A sidelong glance reveals Cove standing off to the side, wet dish in hand, his want so earnestly on display.

Well, that certainly wouldn't do.

Working on pure impulse, you grab onto Cove's shirt in a blind grab and pull him towards you. Breaking the kiss with Baxter, you swiftly direct your attention towards your sea formed haired lover. A startled squeak escapes his lips as you lean forward to press your lips against his.

Baxter observes you two through hooded eyes, slumped against the counter as he desperately tries to catch his breath.

"As fun as kissing in the kitchen is, do you mind if we take this a bit more comfortable?" Baxter asks.

You loathe to put an end to your sudden make-out session, but you could see the appeal of the suggestion. You didn't want one of the first times the three of you were intimate to be in a kitchen.

With a grumble, you lean away from Cove, who gives you a confused look.

"H-huh? We're- what?"

Obviously, he didn't hear what Baxter had suggestioned, to preoccupied with having your tongue down his throat. With a laugh, you pull Cove by the hand and grab Baxter's on your way, too.

It was a bit awkward trying to lead them both, but by Baxter's pleased snicker, you guess that the two of them made due. It wasn't long before the three of you arrived at your door, which you kicked out as you were out of hands to open it with.

"Um, I could have opened that for you." Cove states behind you.

Yet you pay him mind, quickly leading your two lovers towards the bed. Cove falls first onto it, and you halt Baxter with another kiss.

Grinning, he leans into it, and you push him into Cove's lap. Cove gratefully accepts his gift and wraps his lips around Baxter's neck while your own is still pressed against Baxter's. Trailing kisses up and down the shorter man's neck, Cove stops at his mole. Knowing that it's one of the most sensitive spots on his body, Cove ghosts his lips over the spot.

With a choked-off moan, Baxter gasps against your lips. An airly chuckle escapes your lips, and you ever so slightly lean away, just to enjoy the sight of Baxter squirming against Cove. The taller man was caging him in with his body, holding him against his chest as he teased the skin around Baxter's oh so sensitive mole. Baxter wasn't that short of a guy, but Cove was extremely tall, and he used every inch to his advantage as he held Baxter against him.

It was obviously doing something for Baxter, too, judging by the way he leaned back into the hold, as if he wanted to envelop fully. With a smirk, Baxter glances towards you, obviously wondering where you've gone, but not too disappointed with who you left him with.

Before he could say a no doubt sophisticated and playful remark, you leaned forward and captured his mouth in a kiss. Yet this kiss was less about getting acquainted with the inside of his mouth and more about exploration as your hands trail alongside his body.

Reaching his crotch your hands confidently pressed against it, earning your a groan from the monochromatic man, which you happily swallowed. Baxter was throughly overwhelmed sandwiched between you and Cove, a fact he was acutely aware of. When you leaned back to catch your breath, Baxter stammers out:

"Don't- don't you two want to enjoy each other's company a bit more?"

Grinning deviously at him, you very much did not. Content with overwhelming him with pleasure he never thought he would receive. Cove obviously had a similar thought as he reached around Baxter to undo his shirt buttons.

"No." He whispered bluntly into the shell of Baxter's ear, earning him a delicious shudder.

With a defeated sigh, Baxter relaxes into the hold. "Well, I wouldn't stop you two since you're so determined."

"Good, you couldn't if you tired." You reply with a grin before dropping to your knees.

Hastily, you grab onto Baxter's belt and loosen the buckle. Flinging it over your shoulder the moment it's loose enough you make quick work of the buttons and zipper, cursing yourself for not removing his clothing before sitting him down, but too impatient to stop now. With an annoyed grunt, you pull down his pants, not even bothering to remove them fully, and let them hang around his ankles.

Finally you see what you're been thinking about all night, Baxter's cock. Unfortunately, it's still clothed by his cute leaf boxers, but it's half hard and dripping, creating a wet patch. You knew that Baxter was needy, but you didn't know that a few kisses were all that was needed to get him this worked up.

Kissing the wet patch, Baxter bucks against you, almost hitting you in the face. Luckily you're able to lean back before he does.

"Sorry, th-that was rude of me. I just- hmp!" Baxter throws his head back with a moan as Cove sucks a hickey around his mole while his hands reach down to hold Baxter down.

"Don't worry, I'll keep him still for you." Cove states.

You know that Baxter isn't going anyway with Cove holding him down. His hard earned muscles he got from his summers of surfing being put to use as he holds Baxter tightly against him.

With a smirk you pull the leaf boxers down to his ankles, and enjoy the sight of Baxter's hard cock leaking against his stomach. Licking your lips you lean forward to give his slit a kiss, earning you a breathy groan.

Cove's hands wrap firmly around Baxter's thighs, spreading his legs for you and holding him in place.

"Good luck, you're going to need it." He says ominously into Baxter's ear.

"I- what?" Baxter asks confused, he's never been victim to your mouth on his cock before, unlike Cove who knew exactly what you're capable of.

Before he can get an answer, your lips wrap around his dick. You only take a moment to savor the taste of his precum and compare it to Cove's, before your tongue works its magic.

"Ugh! O-oh, my- hmp! Now wait just a- fuck!" Baxter throws his head back with a throaty groan. You're glad that Cove had the foresight to hold Baxter down, because the way he's thrashing right now would surely dislodge you from your spot. Fortunately, with his strong hold, Baxter remains held in place as you treat him to the otherworldly experience of your mouth.

No amount of squirming, thrashing, or withering could deter you, as Baxter quickly surmised, not that he stopped doing any of those things as you sucked. The moans and groans you pull out of him are entirely involuntary, as Baxter would prefer if you and Cove didn't hear such neediness from him so early into your relationship. But there was no helping it, and he quickly spilled a mix of "Please," "Oh god," and language you didn't think the normally sophisticated man would ever confess to knowing.

Cove decided that he wouldn't completely overwhelm the poor man, at least, not yet, and took a break from painting his neck with hickeys. Instead, he was content to watch Baxter lose all sense of composer against him.

"Fuck- please, oh God I can't!" Baxter moaned, and that was all the warning before he came into your mouth.

Normally, he was a lot more polite, warning about any spilling, but all sense of decency was clearly sucked out of him. You let yourself enjoy the unique taste of his spent before swallowing, mouth still wrapped around his dick. Baxter mewled softly at the sensation but was too worn to complain.

Leaning back you wipe all drool and uncaught cum from your chin with the back of the hand, and chuckled when you caught sight of Baxter.

You were getting used to seeing him more relaxed and messy, but you have yet to see just how far he could let himself go until now. He laid boneless in Cove's hold, the taller man's hold being the only thing keeping him unright. His eyes were glossed over and his pupils were so dilated that it made him look cat like. Mouth hanging slightly open, a few drops of drool spill down his chin.

Cove is no longer holding him so tightly, instead choosing a loser hold against his chest. Leaning down, he presses a kiss onto Baxter's forehead, and that seems to snap him out of his daze.

Looking down at you with hooded eyes accusatory, Baxter asks:

"Where in the world did you learn to do that with your tongue?"

#our life #our life beginnings & always #our life smut #our life baxter #our life cove #my post #i played Baxter's dlc and blacked out. when i awoke this was written. no but really i wrote half of this when it was extremely late #i know canonical Cove and Baxter dont get along too well but I CAN MAKE IT WORK I SWEAR #THE THREE OF YOU ARE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER. DO YOU SEE MY VISION??#ahem. anyway. Our Life!Mc has AMAZING head game. you know that trick where you tie a cherry steam in your mouth? they were shown that and #did first try. 'what. like. it's hard?'#the first time you sucked Cove off his dad was away on a business trip and Cove was STILL worried about making too much noise the neighbors #would hear.#i think this the most non dommy smut i wrote for a reader?? huh..anyway.#Cove is SO tall and it drives Baxter absolutely wild. trust me. im a trustworthy source.#baxter also has like absolutely no muscles lol the emo. Cove isnt jacked in my mind he just does a lot of swimming. so he can absolutely #pin Baxter and that also drives Baxter absolutely wild.#anyway. sorry for the Ramble. i have Thoughts as you can tell lol #would love Our Life requests!! dont worry im still working on Obey Me stuff

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arklay · 1 year

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WIP DAY.

tagged by @girlbosselrond @morvaris @aartyom @risingsh0t @phillipsgraves @leviiackrman @indorilnerevarine & @denerims over the past month! sorry it's taken me so long to get to anything at all, i'm sure you guys have heard me address it enough, but thank you all so much for continuing to tag me in things while i've been inactive ♡

tagging @aelyosos @brujah @calenhads @florbelles @jendoe @lightwardens @liurnia @nokstella @nuclearstorms @shadowsofrose @shellibisshe @steelport @swordcoasts @wrymbloods @voerman & all of those who tagged me again cause i'm so behind + anyone else who'd like to share anything they're working on, not just writing! ♡

i haven't written anything since the last wip game i did, but i started trying to put diana's timeline together at the start of january, so i mean... i'll show that instead. as you can see, fatigue hasn't let me do much with it even though i've got all of her timeline already done and strewn about all over the place.

started with 1995 onwards cause it was originally going to be an ewskers timeline situation, but then wanted to include all of her backstory so i went back to the start and still have the late 80s and early 90s to get through before then, but yeah :]

it's going to include like all little moments i've thought of between the ewskers just for me and placing them on the timeline, so you can imagine how long this is going to get if i have to go to 2021 for village... like just 1996-1998 is going to be so much... she's very special to me if you couldn't tell already lmaoo

never sharing this though, it's just for me, and like will help for when i do her timeline page (more in-depth version of what's on her oc page) to just run through canon events and brief descriptions and whatnot. you understand.

everything is blurred out besides 1995 ewskers momence and the years, just cause like idk her i feel weird sharing her in-depth backstory unless it's in dms or something, just cause there's lots going on there and yeah. things. idk

i also made a carrd for twt if you wanna have a look at that :] there's some cheeky subtle things with the two resi items i used as pics hehe

actually, you know what, i'll give a lil bit from where i left of with that rewrite anyways, even though it's been months since i wrote it. but why not

Wesker left a fleeting kiss behind her ear then reached around her and hooked his fingers beneath her coat, prompting Diana to glance back at him. But all he did was gently pull it from her shoulders. She watched him from out of the corner of her eye as he hung it up on the rack by the door, his movements careful and almost calculated, until he turned back towards her, and the warmth of his body returned once more. He pressed up against her side this time, as opposed to her back, and one of his hands found a home on her waist. The way the arm it belonged to was resting firmly against her as he began leading her towards the kitchen was comforting, secure, yet unmistakably possessive. And she revelled in it. He had quite the knack for handling her just the way she wanted.

#tag games.#keep going to do picrews and just zoning out 😭 i'm so behind on literally everything but it's fine it's okay (lying)#i'm having a day and a half even though i woke up feeling okay but oh well. my last month has just been like watching videos during the day #or playing games when i have a bit more energy but like i can't do anything that requires me to actually read or write things like words #are just not computing in my brain at the moment but it's okay like i'm just exhausted and hoping soon i can get back to writing because i #still have over 30 wips going lmao but yeah it's been a time a half with lots of appointments and seeing specialists again and trying to #sort things out. i've been more active on twitter which i've mentioned before but it's just because like it's easier for me to sort of just #like and rt things and not having to do my organisation tags and things like i know that sounds so just small and simple but that's how #i've been lately like to my brain rn that seems like a really big task. so i just keep coming on here randomly for a few minutes then #disappearing so i'm sorry that i've definitely missed so much and i haven't been around to just show my appreciation and love to your #creations!! also just everything that happened in december and then a bit at the start of january too like i'm just a lil paranoid about #being on here honestly so i'm trying to get back to it and be okay with posting again and i'm going to make a promise to myself to actually #filter more tags i think? just to help me with like not exposing myself to things that do make me feel uncomfortable in any way!! i'm #rambling now but sorry sometimes i just need to lmaooo idk but yes so cute lil subtle things from my carrd i wanna talk about cause why not #i didn't have to change the blue herb from re0 besides making it brighter because it's already teal toned which is so sexy but i shifted #the hue on the spade key like SLIGHTLY like it was so little. but anyways. i use this emoji ✨ on my twitter name and yes cause sparkles but #also. three stars. the s.t.a.r.s. badge and logo :] then blue herb because i will have no poison in my safe space!!!! take a blue herb or #leave please!! only good vibes and safe space here!! spade key because i'm ace <3 i was going to include the diamond one in there as well #because am demiro and like those are the symbols in the community. ace of spades for ace. diamond for demis (both orientations)#but wasn't sure how to weave the pink through the rest of the carrd even though cyan and pink together is so pretty omg

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thats-a-lot-of-cortisol · 3 months

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companion!tav questions

General 3, 11

Story 8, 17

Romance 7

for Diodore! (I love that name it's fun to say)

Ooh, several questions! This'll be a bit of a long one lol (and thank you!!)

General:

3. Does she have any comments or advice when you recruit other companions?

Shadowheart: "It's not...common for a cleric to obscure their deity. I suppose I can't begrudge her commitment to secrecy."

Lae'zel: "She reminds me of my aunt... I'm not sure how I feel about that."

Astarion: "Gods, rogues [eye roll]. His dagger skills had better match his audacity."

Gale: "...Is that what all wizards are like topside?"

Wyll: "I can respect an idealist. We need someone to bring up the mood around here."

Karlach: "Oh...oh my. [Clears throat] She seems nice!"

Halsin: I can't for the life of me think of a specific line but it would be something trying (and failing) to keep cool and not show how excited she is about him officially joining the team lol. She'd be asking him a lot of questions about Surface flora and fauna in the "walking around" random dialogue.

Minthara: "She may not be a thrall of the Absolute anymore, but that doesn't mean we should bare our backs to her. Tread carefully."

Jaheira: "[Whispers] Am I supposed to recognize her? Did I miss something?"

Minsc: "Some people have a devil on their shoulder, some have a rodent. I guess."

11. Are there any moments in the game that trigger unique dialogue for her?

A few things might:

She would have a couple lines wondering why a Baenre would join the Absolute after you meet Minthara.

She talks about remembering her father mention the Society of Brilliance after you meet them in the Underdark.

She reacts...a bit badly when you meet Karn'iss and explains her own fears about becoming a drider if you talk to her afterwards, as long as your approval is high enough (moderate or higher). If you didn't get certain details in Act I, you would get them at that point.

(idk if this is what the question meant? But uh hopefully I covered it.)

Story:

8. Does she have comments on who Tav chooses to spend the night with?

For sure. For low-normal approval, she'd make a snarky comment about it and move on quickly. For moderate & higher approval she'll ask about it in an attempt to be supportive ("this is what friends do, right? This is what bonding looks like?") but if you try and give her details she gets embarrassed and backs off.

17. If romanced, how does she react to the Dark Urge trying to kill her in Act 2?

Pausing for a moment to process wtf is happening and then getting very matter-of-fact. She'd talk them through it logically, trying to keep them grounded, except for the last bit before the last saving throw, where she'd accidentally show how scared and concerned she is for them. She would very purposefully place a hand on their shoulder, arm, etc. throughout to try and reach them and show that she's not scared of them (whether or not that's true). Durge would get her Aura of Protection bonuses on their saving throws. Lots of "hey, hey, look at me"-s.

Romance:

7. What questions can Zethino ask Tav about her in the Love Test?

I'm assuming this means from the pre-existing bank of questions she asks from? I got these from the love test ask game/master post(?) that veilkeeper posted.

What, if anything, do they miss most about their home?

When they die, what will be their legacy?

What is the worst thing they've ever done?

Typically, she would approve of honest, straight-forward answers and disapprove of answers that are clearly flattery or that she views as being too sugar-coated.

The questions are from this ask game!

#i thought about coming up with specific answer choices for the zethino questions but im tired and my brain is mush #trying to balance her thorniness & her wanting to do well by people is a bit of a Task #hopefully it came off properly? at least a bit?#im trying not to over-think about “what if she seems too much like xyz companion” ive decided i dont care actually #there's a reason she either gets along really well or *really* horribly with certain characters at first #hopefully the intro dialogue isn't too close to what's in the game lol i don't remember most of them and didn't feel like looking them up #Anyway thank you for the questions!!#and im sorry it took so long to fill out i had to really think about a few of them #bg3 #ask game #bg3 ask game #diodore #the stars shield #bg3 tav #companion!tav au #my post #jay rambles #if any mutuals are doing this and i missed your post about it please hmu so i can ask you things

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tariah23 · 11 months

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Literally never understood any of the ships in jjk akajkaa

#I don’t feel anything for most of the popular ones and even shit like gojo and shoko now like I guess in the latest chapter she was like I #fell for one of you (probably talking about gojo who knows??? which felt out of nowhere and random as hell) like gege is really giving jjk #the csm pacing even tho the diff between the two is that csm is extremely consistent and still makes sense and manages to pull you in even #with how fast paced it is #fujimoto gives you bits and pieces of information while not dwelling on it too much while still managing to get whatever point he was trying #to make across #idk why gege is trying to do the same damn there but erm… it isn’t working at all and is actually ruining the quality of the story all #together and I hate it sm because the story started to fall down right as soon as the culling game/Coloney arcs started like there were high #points but not many of them 😭… and the fact that he’s rushing the shit out of the story now just to say that he’s finished makes me sad lol #like idk if he’s sick again??? or??? is it the editors? jump forcing him to continue on working despite the quality dropping like this??? I #hate capitalism…. I hate the churning out of doo doo just to make a profit to to say that you’re through like #if gege don’t take another hiatus and put that pen down and get some rest because this is not it 😭#sorry… I was just talking about how ships in jjk don’t make any sense and then I started talking about how shit the stories become sorry #rambling #wait #the only ship I ever liked in the entire manga is gonami now that is something else but everything else 😭#I don’t think there’s a lot of content for gonami but oh well

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eldrichfuck666 · 9 months

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I died so much fucking times in episode 2 of Song of Horror that after another try to complete it with the character I choose I saved it closed the game and still haven't opened it yet (... It's been a week? two? who knows..) 👍🏾

#nonsims #delete later #olya's rambles #the thing I hate about this game with the passion is the way I panic when presence comes (😏 I'M SORRY-) AND THE GAME WON'T LET ME PAUSE #I hate it when games don't let you pause in moment where your character can die because it's WAY too much #I just hate it #it's making me so anxious to play it #I CLOSED THE GAME ACCIDENTALLY (thank you steam!!!!) and when I got back it said something like #if you reject (I can't remember the word okay) your character in moment when they can die you can no longer play for them #AND IT'S SO NOT FAIR.#it's such a cruel thing #I didn't do this on purpose!! and now you're forcing me to start all over again because I got way too used to this particular character #that I can't imagine them not making it out alive in the episode THAT'S WHY I'M GOING TO REPLAY IT instead of respawning as other character #without losing any progress #:'( it's the worst thing #and like.. it's too harsh on a player #I panic a lot and I'm really easily scared AND game won't let me pause it and calm down and think logically #fuck you for this game!!!!!!#overall? THE PLOT AND MAIN ANTAGONIST. it's incredible for that #that eldrich entity out of that cursed music box.. presence... HOT and IT HAS TENTACLES??? if I'm correct about tentacles #SIGN ME UP!!!!#I know I wanted to play it myself and get like first hand emotions and experience but I can't go past that point where I saved #because I'm scared in a bad way

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noxtivagus · 1 year

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AAAA im so excited for the ebenholz event yes 🥺

#🌙.rambles #[ arknights. ]#i've been playing arknights daily now #not yet quite cqtched up on the main story n wtvr though bcs i haven't rlly had time but hehe i love the game vv much #I CRIED A BIT WHEN UH #watching the pv T_T #'maybe it's because it's the first time i've ever felt life was worth living' bb boy i'll kiss you #i rlly will get more into arknights 2023 you see it will definitely be one of my top interests i'm sure of it #thinking abt the pv still n the music was so lovely.. the graphics too #help i was left looking at smth n i think i accidentally spoiled myself UH #no no it's okay i'm sure i'll enjoy the story itself anyways despite wtvr the fuck happens #i rmber the stuff some friends commented abt ebenholz n the #leithanian place iirc hehe n oh my god i'm really excited it's so cool #my previous post is so sad i'm sorry about that i'm planning to priv it later #moving on tho uwahh i'm so excited for lingering echoes ><#i know for sure that ebenholz will become one of my favs but #i have this feeling he might also become my most fav chara in arknights???? maybe tied with a few others but he's definitely one of #the ones at the top of my list or smth #IM SO EXCITED #oh my god i know his va that's also like. percical akaashi n ibara iirc #random thought me n my family r going to the mall for smth tmrrw n #i wonder if we can. buy ccr #ITS STILL ON MY MIND WAHH i rlly like zack he means so much to me n cc as a whole :<<#'why do you look up at the lonely sky?' 🥹🫶🏼#GODDAMN IT I HAD A LOOK AT EBENHOLZ AGAIN N MY LOVE YOU R SO LOVELY #he gives meaning to the emptiness in my morning n #FUCK IT IM STILL SO TIRED but i'm starting to feel a but better at least but my social battery is so dead #i'm so tired but little steps at the very least even if they're all i can manage rn r enough

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bsaka7 · 1 year

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Sorry if this is weird or anything but re:the post you rb'd abt fanfic... i adore all your writing - you're such a talent, thank you for sharing the things you write!

I really do think of your stories a lot - as slashfic it is wonderful and very much appreciated, but so much of it just leaves me with a lasting impression of a theme or feeling that I can't shake; beyond the story itself. You have an incredible way with words, managing to convey things wholly but without any exaggeration, which makes for a perfect and usually heart-rending read

Thank you again :)

definitely not weird!!! i appreciate and cherish what everyone says about my writing and i am always deeply grateful for your comments. i'm clutching this ask like when otters float on their backs with the clam pressed to their chest!!! i often think that i'm -- trying too hard with fic, or i think too hard about it. i'm very glad that themes and feelings stuck with you because that is so often what i am trying to impart. i think -- i have these questions that go round and round in my head (connection, meaning, misdirection, etc) and sometimes my fic is a way of trying to figure out one perspective or another on those things, or is responding to something i've read in a book (i swear i'm not that pretentious okay. a little. but not TOO bad i hope.), or is just. i think this would be cool (or hot) can i execute it!! and i throw this all out to you guys and you are always far too kind. anyway long story short i really appreciate u and appreciate everyone who likes my writing haha!! i've only ever written like...history papers for school so you guys have seen nearly all the creative writing i've done in my entire life so it's very nice that you enjoy! and it's such an honor that anything i write sticks with u <333333333333333

#i think of my writing like. two ways #1) like hacking at a text with an axe until theres something there #and 2) i think. i really do value trying to say complex things in simple language. idk.#its not that i don't KNOW big words but i don't. i don't really think in them???? and so i don't write in them #this was fairly true in school as well. like i know what. epistemic means. i guess i am vaguely interested epistemological matters.#but like. idk. it makes more sense to me. at times. to just be like. oh this s relating to knowledge itself etc.#not that theres not room for the word #and so when people remark on that aspect of. how i write i guess.#i used to think it was more of a failing than i think it is now #[insert that quote about how its more painful to describe things as they actually are] [not that i do this but yea]#so its always. idk. shocking and nice to me that u guys like it #okay ENOUGH RAMBLING THANK U VERY MUCH FOR THE NICE COMMENT #im going to go home eat lunch flop at this job interview for a job i dont really want #then maybe watch the second half of the brazil game #ask #sorry i guess u said i didnt have to answer and i appreciate that too #this bad boy going in the nice comments screenshot folder #but i am answering bc i like to talk :P #Idk we all know i go through it about engagement on this blog #And like. How I feel. Seperate from some chunks of. People in the same boat #So it's nice. It's always nice

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designernishiki · 1 year

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hot take (aka headcanon) but I kinda think that nishiki and kiryu’s relationship pre-split wasn’t on both sides platonic/familial or fully romantic; I feel like nishiki had a thing for him (not sure if he fully realized it though) and that he had developed feelings for kiryu over the course of a good long time that were deeply confusing on their own, but even more so considering they would’ve been hard to sort out with what could just be attributed to close friendship or a familial-type bond.

and on the other side of this, kiryu was utterly oblivious and never thought to question what they had as being anything other than a close friendship or familial-type relationship or whatever it was being called out loud (we know kiryu, he’s blunt as hell and takes things at face value– not the best at reading between the lines) hence why the split between them, though both were clearly hurt a ton by it, hit nishiki harder and more acutely– because on top of losing the most important person in his life, which is bad enough, it would’ve crushed any tiny shred of hope he may have had to live out his long-time, perhaps even since-childhood fantasy of being by kiryu’s side forever as his one true confidant, in a more intimate way than as a friend.

#rambling #sad boy hours #this also ties into why I hc nishiki as being gay rather than bi for the most part (though both are absolutely valid and understandable)#won’t get into that here too much but yeah there’s just… a lot of tragic gay angst that can be associated with him and the way he handles m #(or doesn’t handle) their little… breakup and whatnot #and as for kiryu’s side of things. honestly if things went a different way than they did I don’t think something beyond friendship would be #out of the question. it’s just. I don’t think kiryu would’ve ever considered the concept because he’s so clueless #when it comes to relationships and romance and so on and furthermore because of the way he was brought up- which of course wouldn’t really #highlight the idea that falling for a guy (or vice versa) is even a possibility let alone that it’d be applicable to him and someone so #close to him and whatnot. learning about nishiki’s past feelings for him in a hypothetical post-kiwami situation I think would make #him short circuit. and to literally anyone else who knew about nishiki’s actions after the split and all it’d all click and make perfect #sense hearing that. but to kiryu it’d take some fuckin Time to process #I think the past would be in the past by whatever hypothetical future point this is but still its a lot to apply to some of the most #important and fundamental parts of/events of his life. hh. yeah. tack on some guilt if you wanna say kiryu would be with majima at that #point (however you define ‘with’– important part is It’s Not Straight) so the potential there- whatever it was- wasn’t totally nothing like #it would be if he was simply straight and thus it would’ve never been a possible relationship outcome #but. yeah. anyway. sorry I’m. I need to stop I’m going insane I think l #I hope I don’t sound too insane or controversial for this take gahdhshdh have mercy on me #it’s. it’s all just ideas. thoughts. in a game. in minecraft. etc #nishiki #kiryu #yakuza #long post

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donuts4evry1 · 2 years

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♪

i an so sleepy.. i would like a song please.....

You should sleep :<

but also, here's to hoping the randomizer gives you a sweet, calming song:

"On the last train, you board, leaving me behind It departs on, slowly, and the ground slides away Don't cry, just don't cry"

"Ikanaide (Don't Go)" (Sohta)

ALSO I FOUND A VIET COVER OF THE SONG AND I'M ACTUALLY... REALLY SURPRISED IT SOUNDS SO GOOD???

youtube

#I like trains but this song is very sad :(#anyway imagining you curling up on the ground like that ''don't cry but cry anyway'' meme. sorry :>#I happen to have the Vietsub version on my playlist and at first I was gonna send lyrics in vietnamese but i #don't know enough viet to translate them #i can still pick out words though >:((#i don't have this exact video on my playlist butttttttttttt I think it's nice enough to have on here #all the viet translations seem to be slightly different... which is fine ig ://#also i'm remembering that Viet songs are almost always sung in Northern dialect #my family does karaoke all the time and they sing in northern dialect #meanwhile I know nothing about viet so I sing in hue dialect... no matter what pretty much lmao #anyway that was really interesting #i'm a lil too self conscious about my own viet to sing a viet cover of the song ehe ;-;;#ask #ask game #mun rambles

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waywardsalt · 2 years

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For the fanfiction asks

1, 2, 12, 21, 23, 27, 51, 72, 73, 78,

Thanks for the asks! This ended up being long, so I put it under a read more.

1: I do a whole lot of daydreaming, and I don't usually put anything to paper unless I get really inspired, or until things are concrete enough in my mind. Not to mention, I don't always have access to the way that I write, so daydreaming is my main way of keeping things in mind before writing.

2: Honestly, a good majority of the ways that I come up with Zelda fics is the thought process of 'haha it would be fun to put linebeck in this situation', for the recent oneshots, it's more wanting to practice and expand on how I write him and other certain things. I have a few crossover aus in mind, and those are usually a mixture of 'I really like this piece of media' and the usual 'haha linebeck in fun situations'. Honestly, linebeck is the main driving force for my Zelda ideas. But for non-Zelda ideas, I usually need room for creating my own story within a set story; for example, the Warrior Cats world has plenty of room for me to create my own characters and stories. But overall it's the loose string of 'hey this would be cool' that very quickly becomes it's own thing.

12: Most of my older stuff was just planned straight out of my mind, but recently, I've been planning out future projects in ways that fit said projects (a calendar for post-ph, an excel document for a convoluted fic, and simple footnotes for a shorter five-chapter fic). Oneshots and less complicated ideas usually just stay in my mind. More emotionally-driven or abstract ideas will also just stay in my mind (vent fics, a horror idea I'm considering). I'm not strict about planning, but it keeps things coherent. Detail also varies; for example, the fic outlined with excel requires more detail than post-ph. I tend to stray in small details, but try to stick to the big story beats.

21: Overall, I'll say multi-chapter. I get more time and space to linger on worlds and ideas and characters, and I can practice with longer character arcs and writing tools and stuff, and my more wild ideas are easier to pull off when they're longer.

23: Writing beginnings of anything is hell for me. Endings are similarly difficult, but it's a lot harder to smoothly get into something rather than transition out. The middle is easiest; things are already flowing, and while it can get hard, I don't have to worry about big introductions or setting the scene.

27: Dialogue. I've gotten compliments on my dialogue, and I'm very particular about dialogue in bother things I write and things I watch or read; it's very easy to pick out 'bad' or unnatural dialogue. I don't have trouble making dialogue between characters seem natural, but exposition is tricky.

51: A bit. When I write, I'll try most any genre since I consider it a test of my abilities, if I can handle writing within that specific genre. I usually reread old books and stick within fantasy or related genres, so there is a fair bit of disconnect between what I read and write. Even with in the sphere of fanfiction; I write a lot of Phantom Hourglass fanfiction, but I don't actually do a whole lot of reading when it comes to new stuff.

72: I don't really think I have a specific compliment that's my favorite... I'll take any compliment, really, but I guess it's just nice to see if people like my stuff or not.

73: I'm not sure about this one, mainly since I didn't get many varied readers before joining Tumblr, and even now it's still limited... But I think even outside of fanfiction, I get the most compliments on my literal writing? Not story or character of dialogue, just... stuff being well-written, like well-phrased or something. Specifically in fanfiction, though, I think I've gotten the most compliments about my portrayals of characters, mainly in my recently ph oneshots.

78: It's half wanting to see my ideas fully-fledged and to write about my favorite characters, and half hoping that people like what I write; since I started writing fanfiction, there's always been the desire to write for a fandom that doesn't get a lot of fanfiction, so part of my motivation is hoping that there might be someone who's been looking for something that I write. It's definitely a 'if you want something done right, do it yourself' kind of deal, since ph fanfiction is generally rare, and I decided to quit waiting and start writing for myself and whoever else wants it. And, yeah, the feeling of solidifying my ideas. It's just fun to write, even if it gets rough.

#asks #zeldanamikaze #salty talks #sorry this took a while i had some trouble with the ones about compliments #its cool and all to provide for a smaller fandom with less stuff #but the lack of interaction kinda sucks sometimes? esp since i joined tumblr specifically to make it easier for ppl here to find my stuff #and yeah tbh? i read ph fanfiction and stuff but ive become wary of new ph or linebeck stuff #im really specific/sensitive abt ph and linebeck so its not hard to stuff to rub me the wrong way tbh #thanks for the asks! it was fun to reflect on my writing and how i go about doing it #and yeah dialogue. im not great socially so im nervous about how i talk and stuff so i think im just more likely to notice when its weird #also. about how i get compliments on my writing in general.#best way i can explain it is that when writing essays i sometimes lose sight of the prompt or whatever but the writing itself stays solid #like i think ive gotten that sophistication point thing before. but i can also be robotic if im aware there's a 'right' way to write smth #im rambling too much thanks for the asks and i hope youve been doing well #i might be repeating myself on this???? but if you wanna just shoot asks just to discuss or ask abt anything thats cool #ive been rbing ask game things since i get limited interaction but i just want ppl to know that i wouldnt mind ppl sending asks abt media?#like if you wanna discuss a game or some writing or whatever. thatd be fine

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todayisafridaynight · 1 month

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At which point did you realise that the plot of IW is ass? I've seen people complain only about the ending or the halfway point where the teams separate, while I was already actively rolling my eyes like four-five chapters in

i think the moment i fully accepted that IW's story was. Definitely A Story was the moment ebina announced 'bleach japan'. like i think leading up to that point i was thinking to myself 'oh i hope i see X happen' or being like 'i wonder where this is going' and that sort but the proverbial bucket of ice was definitely that moment

#infinite wealth spoilers #snap chats #what reaaaaally hammered it in too if it wasnt obvious already was the execution of the jimas/daigo like that still irks me LMAO #i cant even remember what chapter that happened in i just know when it did i was utterly pissed #i think i started to take things less seriously once bryce entered the picture but thats only because of how distracting his VA was #like much love the JP voice actors who try to speak english and japanese but i just cant act like it's not incredibly distracting #esp when the character is supposed to be white yk what i mean- or at the very least their first language is supposed to be english #typically i can look over that thing if its a one or two time kind of deal but he had to speak in english much longer than others #im just rambling about bryce tho this aint bout him. i mean he could be a part of it the cult was executed really sloppily #it might have been the introduction of bryce actually ... i remember thinking to myself 'oh brother' with the whole messiah thing LMAO #maybe it was when kiryu told us his cancer cam from radiation instead of. smoking 💀 ESPECIALLY not even five chapters in #like straight out the gate you just wanna drop that on us mr I Can Do Everything Myself I Cant Worry Others ok #thats a post for another day tho im EVERYWHERE #POINT IS this is not about Retrospect this is about First Impressions and memory warps over time #but i know for a fact i found the bleach japan thing utterly ridiculous and was squinting at the plot the entire time thereafter #like ive said this a million times at this point but although i love IW for it's gameplay (pardon some nitpicks like lack of shortcuts)#its story really feels so messy and had much to be desired. which is so sad after the wonderful stories rgg has been making since 0..#BUT OH WELL im still excited to replay it in english. god willing i ever get the time #i still wanna finish lost judgment <- isnt even halfway through the game #and i wanna do a fun stream Maybe with YK2 but ill get into that when i get into that #if youve read this far. thanks LOL id say sorry for the novel but thats what we expect of me at this point

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padfootastic · 2 years

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Also i want your thoughts on this - do you think if sirius and walburga both didnt die in canon, after the war was over they would/could try to reach out and make amends? And do you think getting closure would help him heal?

ooooooh this is an interesting one (and a bit tough too)

so i know the typical answer here is ‘ehh possibly with lots of therapy on both sides + acknowledgement of their faults, unlearning etc etc’ but i don’t know if i really believe that. it’s certainly a neat solution and sirius & wally having to interact does give us a lot of comedic black family reality show potential.

but the more i think about it, the more i feel like they probably wouldn’t be able to reconcile? i mean, both of them have a lot of pride, for one. that’ll make it hard to accept any faults (+ bc sirius faced the brunt of everything by as a child, his feelings towards his family would be even more intense & righteous, i think) or give the benefit of the doubt to the other person. i also don’t think there isn’t enough trust between them by that point to take things in good faith anymore.

there’s also the question of what kind of support does sirius have. are the potters alive? is he in a relationship? does he have the security to be able to do what he *really* wants? he ran away in canon—would he have been able to do so if he hadn’t had james’ unconditional support? i think, if he’s alone in this scenario, then there’ll definitely be some attempt made at contact, whether initiated by him or not. it’ll probably be uncomfortable, awkward, not a very good idea, but i can see him being amenable to it just because there’s not a lot of options. walburga would probably also pipe down a little because the ‘blood traitor potter’ isn’t there to taint her son further so that’s one of her issues gone ykno?

if the potters are alive, though, i think sirius would be forced to take a long, hard look into his relationship with walburga. what does it provide him, does he really need it, will it fulfill anything that his other relationships don’t? and he’d probably come to the answer that no, it won’t.

i’m of the opinion that closure is overrated and u can live ur life w/o needing to have that ‘one final conversation’ where it’s all dramatic and lays all ur cards out on the table type. i’ve seen irl that it’s often far messier than that and the attempt at closure can just backfire and make things worse. i’ve also successfully forgotten about people that i’ve been super close w w/o any problems, even years down the line. no ‘what ifs’ or spiralling regrets. so i know it’s possible, and i think with the potters’ encouragement, he’ll choose to go for that option. that is, no contact at all because he’s in a good place and doesn’t need her.

(which coincidentally hits walburga’s pride super hard and makes her hurt in a way other things didn’t but that’s another topic lmao)

Send me an ask with ‘thoughts on___’

#sirius black #walburga black #welp this became way longer than i anticipated lmao #i feel like i’m just being unnecessarily rambly #sorry!!#i don’t usually think about characters/relationships w such nuance #but this made me Really Try #i mean. all of that being said—i’m sure there’s situations/universes where reconciliation is possible #i think i’ve read a few too #but i think i’ll just skew towards this opinion for now #always open to opposing views tho #i know orion is also a parent lol but i didn’t focus on him bc i don’t think/read ab him as much #which is on me #also. didn’t wanna put this in the main text lol but sirius is a scorpio #soooooo i think he’ll be able to do the cutting someone off w/o a second glance thing #as i was writing this i just kept thinking of more and more scenarios and different outcomes for them #and realised i had to stop somewhere lol #ask game #pen’s asks

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