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anonbeadraws · 4 years

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So I caved and with @spacespectres help made an avatarsona! With a big chunky statement to go with it! (Trigger warnings for homophobia/transphobia, conversion therapy, death and parental abuse. Everyone gets just desserts though.)

‘I’m, actually not sure why I’m here. You can’t help me, my son is gone and the police arn't saying it but - I’m sorry, my ears are- It’s like- You know those alarms, the ones that are made to disperse kids at shopping centres, keep them from causing trouble- not that i think they work. you see more of them these days, scruffy and dirty, what their parents doing, i don’t- Anyway, it’s like that noise, that high buzz. it’s meant to be that, as you get older, your brain tunes it out, adults aren’t meant to hear it anymore, just keep on shopping without hoodlums hanging about outside smoking and throwing shit at the elderly. I don’t miss that, Ben’s smoking, i’ll say that. That’s awful to say, i bet you’re thinking, god how terrible, her child’s missing and she’s moaning about a few nicotine stains on the ceiling.

I know theres plenty that would call me a terrible mother anyway, i know the neighbours didn’t agree with my decision, the decision of a single mother, who struggled enough just to keep her child fed and watered and out of trouble, to then struggle to keep him from wearing my lipstick when i was out of the house-! I have no problem with the gays. I want to say that, have that clear. I just know, what he was doing, that wasn’t my Ben, that wasn’t my son and, the Helping House was what he needed. I’m his mum, i know what he needed, don’t care what his dad says. he wasn’t here, he wasn’t here to raise Ben, so he doesn’t-

The pamphlet was so nice, so professional and i checked it out online, all 5 stars, apart from the odd protester sticking his oar in, and it was- reassuring to know he’d be looked after, helped! Get what he needed. And he was fine when i left him there, with his old school backpack with all his bits in, the Helping staff there to welcome him. Reminded me a little of when he started primary school, he looked so small, all big eyes… They promised it’d be a couple of weeks, maybe a month, and then he could come home, all better.

I got to visit every weekend, which was nice! Sometimes brought him biscuits, can't beat home made, chatted a little. He still had that, that look from when i left, like he was little again, when i could tell he didn’t really want to leave me at the gates, he didn’t want to go in all alone, couldn’t we just go home instead mum? But i was strong. For him. I resisted.

I think, it was when that look started to go, that little boy look, replaced with something, i don’t really want to think about even now, that i really noticed the other patients. One in particular. He looked different from the others. Props to the Helping House, they keep, kept the kids tidy. it was actually lovely, real treat to see Ben all combed and neat, not smelling like his trash dump of a room. And not a whiff of smoke! i’d honestly not have been surprised if he’d snuck in some ciggies in but if he had, they must have confiscated em quick. No fags in the Helping House! I mean-! oh you know, what i mean!

But this one,.. they all dressed in clothes from home, apparently they worked out its better for the process, this one was a mess. Half shaved hair, no knees in the jeans and honestly, sunglasses indoors? who did He think he was!? Mick Jagger? He just slouched in the corner of the visiting room, looking out into the gardens, like he belonged there in that clean good place. They were nice gardens, well looked after, like the kids. I remember it was coming up summer, lots of lovely flowers. lots of happy bees.

Anyway, i did Not like how Ben looked over at, him, while we had our cups of tea. it was this, gooey soft look i’d never seen on him. later i remembered it. it was how his dad looked when we started courting. That cloying honey sweet love that turned sickly and choking far too quick. God, that look, on my boys face? You bet I had words with the staff before i went. I did not bring my boy here to get help and it be ruined by some hooligan with warped intentions. I made sure they understood. They didn't seem to know what i meant by the Sunglasses kid but it’s a big facility, probably get a lot of patients. Their success rate was incredible really, always seemed to be spaces open. Whatever they did, didn’t do a lot though. Cause i kept seeing him, every time i visited. And he drew a crowd. At first it was the ones who didn’t have family to come, poor dears. They’d be sat, close as they could to him. They had rules about touching in the Helping House, and rightly so, helps with, the temptation, but they’d sit there, close as they could to him, just listening, sun on their faces from the big glass window. Now that i’m thinking about it, I don’t think i remember ‘em blinking? Anyway, Could never hear what was said, what venom that creeper was pouring into their ears, whenever i tried to hear him over the other visitors, it just came over as a low buzz. Well, whatever it was, those kids were hooked. I didn't like it. And the next weekend, there more of ‘em! You’d have kids that’d be crying one week that their family hadn't come, who didn't give two shits the next, pardon my french. They’d be sat in the corner, happy sappy faces, listening to whatever nonsense that kid was murmuring to his little flock. They didn’t touch, not then, but it was a close thing, i remember being so shocked that nothing was being done about it. It was obviously a problem. that weirdo was the problem.

But my boy didn’t stray. He might’ve looked over at that hive of idiots who worked against what these good people were trying to do for them, with that… look. But he stayed and drank his tea with me like he should. He looked tired, but i knew that’s cause he was working hard, getting better. i got the reports.

But the last couple of visits, i come in and it’s just my boy in the visitors room. The rest were outside in the garden, in the flowers. All those kids, twenty or so of em, tangled in each other, touching and so close. I don’t think they were, Doing things but, it was against regulation for sure, and I stood up, to go do something, anything, even just yell at them to stop it, ask what they thought they were doing!? That’s when the Buzzing started. For a second i thought it was just a bee come in from the garden, poor little bumble trapped indoors but it was in my ears, in my head. It was nothing i’d ever felt before and I’ve had Tinitus and that’s a nasty bugger but it was more than that.

Been to the doctors since. Apparently they can’t work it out, whats causing it. All they can say was it wasn’t Tinitus.

I think it was, Sunglasses looking at me. I remember when i got up, to tell ‘em off, i remember light in the corner of my eye, like a reflection off glass. I think he turned, he knew i was going to stop em and he-

Last sunday was the last time, the last visit. Had a big tin of biscuits, gingerbread, Ben’s favourite, had some nice news about his cousin getting into uni, first in the family! Always had hopes Ben would be the second, but- Ben wasn’t waiting for me. He was outside. With Them.

Him.

There he was, holding the hand of that freak and the staff were just stood round like numpty’s doing nothing! Dumb faces and vacant as their patients were outside rolling about in the sun like it was the 60’s! And smoking! I thought, they must’ve found a stash cause i could see the smoke, swirling dark against the sky, dark against their smiling, stupid faces.

I was furious. i was, so angry.

I think thats why i did it. I was so angry that i couldn’t think of anything else to do but grab that sunglasses wearing freak who was corrupting my boy, who was holding his hand and steering him wrong and undoing all my work and love, and shake my anger out of him. I was yelling all that, yelling at him. I remember he was light, not as heavy as he should be, not for a kid his age and that he didn’t flinch. And he spoke to me, in that low drone that I thought had been just distance and space distorting his voice, but was just him, god it was just him.

I cant remember exactly what he said, something about love, real love, some hippy nonsense. No, i remember one thing. The little shit asked if i thought i was ‘my child’s real Family.” ‘Of course, i said, ‘i’m his mother’ Then he smiled, like i was wrong and i hated him. And I could see myself, in that dark reflection, in those stupid shades and i couldn’t stand it. I wish i hadn’t, done what i did. i just didn’t want to see myself in that black mirror anymore, all twisted and hateful. Turns out it was far nicer than what was behind them.

I let go, dropped it, that thing in ripped jeans and stripes and it fell into the flowers. There were so many happy bees. Thats when i heard the other kids. They had it’s voice, shared it’s voice, that drone. That buzz. i didn’t dare look at them. My ears, started up again, like before but, that sound, their sound, it made it louder and i honestly thought my head might explode and I turn to Ben, my boy, who had dropped to his knees in front of that thing, holding it’s hand and for a second, I thought he was smoking again, dark wisps coming from his downturned face and, I just, my fear turned to anger, for just a second, that he would do that here and now.

But I begged him to come away, to leave it alone, to get better, to just be my little boy again, to come home with mummy. Then he looked up, my Ben, and his face- it wasn’t smoke, it had never been smoke. it was the same as whatever had been bumbling around in the creature that still lay in the flowers but Ben smiled all the same. I, feel crazy, crazy saying it but- as the bees poured out of my little boy’s smiling mouth in that choking swarm, their buzzing droning out his words, my boys last-

My name is Sarah

i’d never seen him happier.

Apparently I fainted. Never fainted in my life, i’ll tell you, too tough for that sort of thing, but i must’ve. Police think it’s what saved me. I like to think otherwise. Officially, what happened was that the patients turned on the staff, killed em and left. Simple, explainable. Some sicko’s like to use what happened as an argument against conversion therapy, old hippy dykes that don’t have enough to picket over, idiots. They didn’t see the bodies, they didn’t see what those ‘helpless victims’ did- They dragged them outside after they killed em, into the sun, into the flowers. I remember waking up once, amongst all the dead. Happy bees, dipping their beaks into the blood of the doctors. Plenty of sugar in blood, I read.

Ben was all i had left, my only family. I don’t have no one left. You don’t get many visitor when the papers insist you made your kid a killer. Don’t even get phone calls from Dave anymore, but i call that blessing. He was barely Ben’s dad anyway. I’ve gotten used to the quiet. i go to work, i come home, watch a bit of telly. the buzz from the old tv only scares me a little. I know i did my best for him. i believe that, after everything. I wouldn’t be here though, if, there wasn’t, something else.

I had a visitor the yesterday. Wasn’t expecting it, thought it was a missionary, Jehovah’s or something. Was ready to tell them to piss off, i tell you. It was a girl. Said she was my daughter. she looked like my Ben, same smile, same funny little knees he used to scrape up, ones i used to kiss better. It wasn’t Ben. My Ben had eyes. My daughters words buzzed, like there was something in her throat. Perhaps the same things that crawled where her eyes would be, round and yellow and bumbling, i thought, and my head starting hurting again. She only stayed at the door, didn’t come in. She said she just wanted to say hello.

She said she’ll visit again.

That she’ll bring her family.

i don’t think she means me anymore.’ The magnus archives belongs to Rusty Quill, the above belongs to me!

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nightswithkookmin · 4 years

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JIKOOK: SOMETHING HAS CHANGED-Jikook Shading Eachother pt2

Disclaimer:

This is for entertainment purposes. Nothing expressed in here is to be taken seriously. Everything expressed in here is my opinion and is not intended to be malicious or disrespectful to any of the parties involved.

So what's tea....

I stated in my previous post on how Jikook aren't always-Jikooking. There's been fights, breakups, make ups, tensions and a whole lot of crazy going on with those two over the past couple of years. Some of course you know of- because they are blatantly obvious like Manila etc; some you'd have to be a bit of an inquisitive, highly OCD, nerdish to a fault, have a long history of anxiety disorder and lack any form of social life to catch- not saying I am any of these things... I AM. SEND HELP!

Following the theme of my previous post, today I want to discuss some of the things I believe have changed within BTS in general in regards to how they behave or have behaved towards Jikook. This discussion is relevant because it will help you understand the changing dynamics of Jikook's relationship and why I think they are at where they are now: subtly throwing shade at each other in 2020. Bless them.

In a recent interview during this Japan comeback, JK openly admitted to how the members of BTS aren't the same as when they started out 7 years ago and he wasn't wrong. Things have changed. I just don't know if this change is necessarily good- in Jikook dynamics I mean.

For one, RM used to treat Jikook's relationship with some level of reverence. Especially in regards to how he acted around Jimin. He seemed to subconsciously acknowledge an unspoken rule that Jk had some sort of autonomy over Jimin and he had to respect that even as an elder and leader.

It was one of the early clues that gave Jikook away.

Remember this moment?

JK got mad, angry and couldn't even hide his emotions when he noticed RM doing- whatever that was- with Jimin.

What's interesting to me was how RM behaved in the moments after that incident. He touched his chest, almost like he was hurt by JK's reaction to his little minimoni moment with Jimin and then turned to Jin to explain what had just happened.

Jin looked equally surprised by JK's behavior. Surprised, not mad. They both should have been angry enough to scold JK given as they had said openly how they disapproved of JK's possessiveness and greediness. It was expected of them at least.

Sure, perhaps they didn't want to cause a scene but still, they are the hyungs not the other way round. And given how age difference is such a big deal in South Korea they should have exerted their superiority over JK in this instance and put him in his place even if they should about it playfully like we've seen some of them do when a younger drops honorifics etc. After all JK doesn't own Jimin... or don't he? *Wink.

If you fail to see my point, here. This moment should clarify things better.

This is RM patting Jk on the shoulder a few moments after he had wrapped his hands around JM and saw JK's shook face in the view finder.

He patted Jk immediately as if to say sorry I didn't mean to dude and JK just nodded. He nodded people! He fucking nodded!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That nod was him giving his approval to- whatever that was RM did to Jimin. He was a little pissed following that and went on to do his tongue in cheek thingy but it still doesn't take away from what that moment signified.

There are many moments like these where RM and even some of the other members have been seen to bow figuratively to JK when they had had to interact with Jimin in a way that may come across as offensive to Jimin's intimate partner if he had one.

This act of acknowledging JK's authority over Jimin is part of their culture. It is expected of Koreans to respect the sanctity of another's relationship. It is why JK received a ton of backlash from K-army and antis when he was seen back hugging that tattoo girl in September 2019. They even went as far as to 'report' JK to the guy the girl was believed to be allegedly dating at the time.

And the guy's response was equally telling. Even though he denied he was in a relationship with the said girl, he did acknowledge the disrespectfulness of JK's conduct and said JK was grown enough and should know better. (The emphasis is mine)

Thats their culture. You just don't touch other people's girlfriends or boyfriends, hug them, act affectionate with them without their permission. It is seen as disrespectful in the and would explain why RM and the others have acted that way towards JK in the past and most importantly it explains why JK acts or has acted like he owns JM most times. He do. Bless him.

Sisters and brothers, aliens and Lizards; JIKOOK IS REAL. Praise the Lord!

But don't get excited just yet. All that was before and during 2015/2018. Flash forward to 2019/2020 and that dynamic is almost extinct. Almost.

Now we have moments like these where RM 'feels' Jimin up with no apprehension what so ever. This man be feeling ghetto around Jikook lately. Always moving like he about to let lose some nuke codes on them.

EXHIBIT A:

This is their 2020 VLive reaction video to their debut video. JM made a negative comment about his body and RM and JHope immediately 'felt' JM's body up complimenting him for still having an impeccable body.

Jk glanced at them briefly, his nostrils flared a bit and he had a look of disdain on his face. He sort of rolled his head in a way only a scorned woman would understand and then remembers there's a camera watching him so he tries to tone it down immediately.

But still you could tell he wasn't ok with what had happened as he began fidgeting around a lot, smacking his lips together and touching his clothes impulsively.

EXHIBIT B:

This was during their Grammy VLive, when RM felt up JMs thighs and JK had to side eye the moment and smack his lips again. At this point I won't lie I feel sorry for JK. It hurts me to see him go through all this.

So the question remains, WHAT HAPPENED in 2018 to cause this drastic shift in the way RM behaves towards Jikook?? TEA: it's not just RM!

Why are they all of a sudden not giving JK his due respect like we've seen them do in the past? Why is RM suddenly feeling so confident in interfering with Jikook moments, separating them and what not?

This is where I insert his legendary standoff moment with JK at the MMA 2019 but I think I've made my point. No?

FINE. HERE:

So there you have it. Something has definitely changed in Jikook dynamics and I'm gonna tell you what just stay with me a little longer alright? It's gonna be a slowburn.

MUHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry.

Signed,

Goldy

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survivormetaverse · 3 years

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Episode 1 - "I know the game will pick up eventually" ~Shaad

chile lemme not get thrown out for making all these stan twitter bitch references I'M LICHERALLY HARMLESS I DON'T MEAN MOST OF WHAT I SAY DKJFHASJKLDG

ngl tho i'm kinda shitting myself over these challenges bc i don't wanna get tossed on the first round JKAHFSJKDGHJ my ant eye et tea is through the ROOF

oh girl, first impressions? ngl, the gays and girls here seem quite lovely, hopefully they won't have to carry me the entire time LMAO

Okay like the only person I like/talked to is Jodi but she seems like a smart cookie so ima sleep with one eye open. But idk I'm ready to put on my fake ass smile and my fake ass kind words and get through this part. It's interesting with 6 people per tribe like if we lose I don't have that solid "core" yet but theres a chance that it would be me, jodi, amy because we were the first three on and active so idk. the immunity challenge is cool, the hunt challenge is cool too. im not good at timed puzzles, so I don't think I'm gonna go for it but a part of me feels like everyone across the tribes isnt gonna do it becsuse theyre scared so thats a good opportunity to sneak in and play with less people against me? idk idk idk ahhh

🎶Oh my god we're back again🎶 Hey peeps!! :DDD Here I am againnnn, how fun! Tbh I forgot this was today lowkey and Dylan reminded me and I was like oop 😳 also I am so sorry to everyone that I cannot help but sprinkle the fact that we are now dating in all of my first convos bc IM VERY GAY apologies✨ for how often I'm mentioning it I mean 😂 My tribemates seems so cool, Jennifer and Babs are newbies but seem up to the challenge, Jay A and Colin already giving off immaculate vibes✨ Me and Dyl are hosting Ingary in a month and I do have like work and everything so I don't know exaclty how active I'll be in this game/ how far I'll make it but we'll see won't we!!

not me being a leader of whateva

it's the lack of reading comprehension for me (that was shade directed towards myself)

In the fools tribe !!! Moth is in my tribe which is good because we have played together before. The immunity challenge is divide and conquer! So I believe I will be doing the endurance one. I think I’ll be okay... and the hunt announcement is a good twist !!! I’m not sure if I’ll participate in the first one.. but I’ll probably change my mind. ANYWAYS, I’m ready to kick some ass

Hey guys it's me Brayden and I am so here. I'm so excited to be playing again and stuff and I have already predicted the future that I'll be the winner. Anyways I was at an award ceremony for like the first 3 hours of the game which is kind of scary bc I feel like I missed alot but I'm trying to talk to people and stuff and see what's going on. I've briefly talked to Jodi, Amy, and Ginnifer (who is so hard to talk to btw I like send her messages trying to start a real conversation and she will just respond being like same or something). Anyways the other 2 people on my tribe are offline rn so ig I missed my chance to talk to them tonight so I'll do that tomorrow. Anyways I signed up to do counting and I'm so excited bc I literally KILLED the counting challenge on Kyoshi Islands so I'm so excited to hopefully kill it again. I also decided to play the hunt challenge even though I only have 3 chances bc I'm hoping alot of people will be scared to use one of their three chances to play in the first round and I can have a better chance of winning it. But I think I'm bad at puzzles. I didn't think it through that hard I think I got excited to play a challenge but whatever I'll probably win the advantage then in a few weeks win the whole game anyways see u later.

SO its the morning after the premiere!! Everyone's settled in!! and I kinda don't know how to feel?? Overall the premiere was kinda quiet, nothing happened worth noting tbh. Everyone on the tribe showed up, so thats good, but i think we're all just feeling each other out at the moment as for the people on my tribe! everyone seems chill but also i can't put my finger on it but SOMEHOW this tribe radiates chaotic energy. I don't know HOW or WHY but I just know it DOES. The way we're interacting in the tribe chat it seems like there's a very wide range of personalities and vibes. They're either gonna complement each other or clash, and I guess we're just gonna have to wait to find out which one!!! here are my quick night 1 first impressions that no one asked for :) Anastasia - she showed up kinda late bc she had life happening, understandable. BUT she kinda just jumped right in and started vibing with everyone!! so I think she's gonna be a strong social player. I talked to her and she seems really funny, I think I might really get close with her if I'm able to talk to her more Babs - IF our tribe does end up being chaotic, it's going to be because of Babs. They're definitely the most talkative and prominent person on the tribe, but I think they might come off as messy to others. they're really funny though!! so again I can see myself wanting to work with them if I can get to know them more. They are the biggest question mark on the tribe for me currently Elle - AH. I LOVE THEM ALREADY. Within minutes of us talking they mentioned Dylan and then I found out that they're DATING and I was SCREECHING. cutest shit i've ever heard. I'm so excited to meet and play with them. Dylan is one of my fave people in the org community so ofc I wanna get to know Elle and connect with them as well!! Jay - I think Jay seems like just a very genuine open person?? Like we talked for quite a while yesterday just about games and he was asking me questions about my experience with them and all that. idk if it's because he sees me as a threat or if its because he just actually wanted to get to know me. He lowkey gives me heterosexual vibes and idk if thats true or not but idk how to bring it up. but I def wanna keep talking to him and getting to know him!! I think he might be someone I can form a genuine friendship with Jennifer - kinda have no opinion so far. I think shes the quietest on the tribe. at least for me I didn't get the chance to hear from her much. kinda gives catfish vibes. kinda gives early boot vibes. idk. we'll see what happens!

Not too much yet tbh. Just finding my footing. People are loving my energy so hopefully they’ll keep me around

So i realized Amy is runner up from the season before mine in another org and so we connected over that... of course we are not going to tell anyone else but we did have that going for us to get started. brayden is only 16 but he told me he loves magic and wanted to learn more about it so i told him id teach him some stuff! dennis and i called and connected well BUT hes kinda playing SUPER hard and wanting to throw challenges already to vote people out.. this has never worked out for anybody!! josh is cool, he works at a grocery store so he's gonna kill the "b" challenge. ginnifer has been the most MIA but i have faith that we'll work together well for the popularity contest. yall know i cant play the reverse flirt game i so badly want to coin, but i do have romance tea for yall tomorrow. stay tuned........

Jay and I talked last night so i guess we're best friends. We decided to make an alliance and try to get Elle in it. But everyone has been pretty inactive besides Jay and Collin. I've only slightly talked to Jessica this whole game and Babs hasn't even said one thing to me and I texted them hi. And apperently Babs has left Jay on opened too so they might just suck at talking right now. Hopefully Babs will talk to me they seem so funny and cool D:

I won endurance 👑!!!! Hopefully the fools tribe wins this!!!! I played against Jennifer and Dennis. I could see myself playing with Dennis down the line if we merge. I haven’t talked to anyone but Moth. So I messaged my whole tribe Introducing myself. Hopefully things work out for me!

Thoughts after the first 24hrs: https://youtu.be/I62bDSzgf68

You hear something ??? Same. Why is my tribe so quiet 😂😂😂😂 I’m trying to read off the vibes but I see nothing.

I really love my tribe and the fact that they don’t know I played last season is a good strategy to play on my end

tbh i wish we lost i wanted to go to tribal and vote one of these people out :(

Welp we got second place in the first challenge :| which isn't bad!! But it's not first place 😂😂. But I had a fun day taking pictures so whateverssss. I said I would be chaotic in this game but the opportunity hasn't presented itself yet... Guess we'll have to wait and see✨

I think at this point, my team is shady and won't say anything to me so I am nervous.

The challenges were way harder than I thought. I didn't do well at all and let my tribe down. I feel like I will be the first to get voted out if we have a tribal hearing.

We lost yay. I had a feeling. Hopefully the tribe will keep me around for now since I won endurance.... lhsisowjshwowpwpwheowowhfiwpqpqpjw. Jared thinks we can vote Bri out. Which I’m fine with, I haven’t really talked to her at all. Jared and I are going to message the others and see where everyone’s head is at. Honestly I don’t care who goes home as long as I’m safe. Everyone is quiet which is so annoying. Blahhhhhhhhhh

Well it’s my 3rd time playing and it’s not off to the best start, no one seems to be talking to anyone. And we lost meaning we are going to tribal council. So fuck- I have no idea what about to happen. I’m just hoping it’s not me or Jess

if i must confess, my strategy is to have a 4-3-2 alliance. i need a 4 to have a majority, but i dont have a 4 yet. within the 4, theres a three person alliance w me jodi and amy, but within that three i believe that the core 2 is myself and jodi. i really dont care who the 4th is. i like having jodi and amy as an alliance because theyre both doing wayy too much which is great for me :) i dont think any of these people have idols but who knows. i would love to throw the next immunity i wanna go to tribal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Looks like we’ve got something good. We’ve got an alliance that’s set to (hopefully) vote out bri due to inactivity. Let’s just pray it works

Trying to talk in this tribe is so difficult In both my other seasons I was pretty quiet all the time It is like that x10000 I was hoping to stay under the radar but that doesn’t work if no one talks at all I suppose it depends on if I’m being played or if everyone just doesn’t talk. I think there’s a plan. Let’s hope it goes well

OKAY SO. Moth, Jared and I have a little alliance going on. We are set on voting out Bri. I just talked to Danny and Shaad and they are down with voting Bri out. I have high hopes that I’ll be safe at tribal.

Better communication.. in sticking with that fact, our communication in my team could be better and we need to put more effort into what we do, I believe in us!

https://youtu.be/595h7hmL6VY

The start to this game has been a freaking snails pace...it’s unbelievable to me that these people do not want to talk that much, especially when it’s a tribe of 6. Colin and I talk the most, I’ve gotten a decent amount out of Anastasia, and to me it feels like those 2 wants to work with me and I am fine with working with them. Usually in a larger group you want to figure out who you can work with long term and use the first few tribals to establish trust, I may throw that out the window since there’s only 5 other people on this tribe. My strategy needs to be who the hell can get me past these first few votes before a swap happens, and I feel like I can rely on Colin and Anastasia for that. I’d like to pull in Elle, because she’s the one who’s talked to me the most out of her, Babs, and Jennifer. Everyone seems nice, but it would be lovely if people would be more active.

I’m enjoying the fact our tribe won the first challenge everyone is very nice I love it :)

This round has been pretty smooth sailing. I know the game will pick up eventually but for now, we are just going with the flow as a tribe

https://youtu.be/UZVzZ6d6GRU

ok so apparently ginnifer isn't famous. she's just a bit quiet and mysterious. ok with me, just gonna take a while because I'm a loud and outspoken person (and player). amy, dennis and I have an alliance called "fang gang" (it's really just 3 emojis of vampires) and we're going to run the premerge hopefully. I do like brayden a lot, and maybe I'll propose a 3 with him, amy and myself to have a solid 4 control the votes until a swap. round 1 not bad so far!

~~~

Edgics:

Power Rankings:

Phantom

Jodi: I believe Jodi is thriving on this tribe. She is very obviously a social player who picks up on the littlest details. I’m sure she can sniff out a plot if it comes down to it. However, Jodi is the plot. She is the leader of her tribe and is easily the most active person in the game at the moment. So long as she keeps a smile on her face and doesn’t overextend to do something messy, she will find that she will make it safely to merge. Allying with Amy could be dangerous however since Amy has stated she needs to be voted out before a certain date. This means that Jodi needs to socialize with other members of her tribe and get new allies before hers will inevitably be voted out of the game.

Amy: Even though she wants to get voted out, Amy has set herself up perfectly at Jodi’s side. She can take the heat off of herself using Jodi and is able to hide better than others. As always, her UTR game has come out to shine. She hasn’t had anyone call her out and even though Jodi has seen her play she is still able to gain her trust.

Josh: Doing so well in the challenge has earned Josh’s place here. He makes his worth known early and has a great personality as well. This makes him very safe for any early tribal councils as no one is going to want to take him out; they want him on their side. Similar to Amy, he just seems to be using an under the radar social game which he is executing well at the present moment. And, as the star of the challenge, he makes himself safe for future tribals before the swap. However, I do fear that this early impression of competition prowess will come back to haunt him if he makes it to the merge.

Dennis: I would put Dennis higher, but Jodi, his ally, already is suspicious of him. She seems to think of him as a bit of a sneak and, as the tribe leader, her opinions matter the most. It is good that he is able to be Jodi’s ally so she might stray away from voting him out. However, his desire to go to tribal and play the game so early may bite him in the butt later down the line. I can definitely see him being called out for trying to play too hard too fast. At the moment, he remains high because he seems to be decently social and no one except Jodi has sniffed him out.

Brayden: There’s not much to say on Brayden’s game. He doesn’t seem to have any allies, his challenge performance wasn’t as good as others on his tribe, and he is not in any alliances yet. This spells disaster for Brayden if his tribe goes to consecutive tribal councils. Additionally, even though he was one of the few to play in the Hunt, he didn’t win and wasn’t even close to doing so. He even gave up part way through to do the immunity challenge. I would be saving them if I were Brayden, but hindsight is 20/20. If Brayden can squeeze into being the fourth of the Jodi, Amy, Dennis alliance instead of Josh then maybe his game forecast will be better.

Ginnifer: The thing that lands Ginnifer on the bottom is that she said that her tribe could vote her out if they lost the challenge. This primes people to already be willing to get rid of her in this game. Additionally, some people have expressed difficulty with talking to Ginny such as Jodi and Amy. The former still wants to give Ginny a try at being an ally while the latter was ready to vote her out if necessary. Ginny just needs to pick up social steam and outperform in the next comp if she’s going to have longevity in this game.

Fools

Jessica: In lieu of a clear leader, Jessica has stepped up as she started the first alliance on her tribe with Moth and Jared. No doubt, Jessica’s prior relationship with Moth helped facilitate. Additionally, this seems to paint them as the “active” members of this not active tribe. Therefore, it will be very easy for Jessica to dictate votes without getting labelled as a threat since her tribe is not active enough to do so. I can definitely see her leaning on Moth as a crutch, but for now she is the topdog of her tribe. Especially so since she was the only member of her tribe to win a challenge in Divide and Conquer.

Moth: As Jessica’s right-hand person, Moth is a secure spot. It also helped that they have played this game before and is on a not active tribe. This vibes well with Moth’s gameplay style since they aren’t a social powerhouse like Jodi or Colin. Instead, she keeps it more lowkey which makes this tribe in particular a great tribe for her to thrive in.

Jared: While he hasn’t provided a confessional yet, it’s clear he’s positioned himself well with Moth and Jessica. As the topdogs of the tribe, they are key people to get in with. Besides that, he seems to be a little more active than some others, but there’s not much else to say as of right now.

Danny/Shaad: Him and Shaad can trade spots on this ranking because they are playing similar games at the moment. They are both quiet and inactive, yet are not part of the core alliance of this tribe. This could spell danger for them in upcoming tribal councils if they don’t start working on people now. They seem to be safe for now based solely on Bri’s inactivity, but, otherwise, they need to pick up their socio-strategic game before it is too late.

Bri: She seems to be the most likely person to get voted out. She was not online at all for the first two days of the game and has since remained inactive. She is easy pickings for the top 3 of this tribe which really hurts my heart. I know her in real life and she is very sociable and easy to get along with. I have no doubt that in a real life game of Survivor or Big Brother, she would kill the social game.

S.E.E.S.

Colin: Similar to Jodi, Colin is the most social person on his tribe at the moment. However, unlike Jodi, he has not taken a leader position which works to his benefit. Despite being social, Colin has been able to slip under the radar of most people with a lot of them wanting to work with him. Colin is easily going to survive until the swap, but I will caution him from getting too many allies too quickly. This tribe in particular has a wildcard willing to blow things like that up so he needs to be careful.

Elle: Similar to her previous games, Elle plays an extraordinary social game and becomes very well-liked very easily. They have no problem fitting into any situation and I foresee them making it far if they gain the right allies. What puts her at number 2 as opposed to number 1 is that she hasn’t made any strategic comments yet. Instead, she is focusing on a social game which is not a bad thing. Colin has just shown more of his gameplay in these rounds.

Anastasia: Anastasia, despite being late to the premiere, has been able to socialize with key people such as Colin and Jay. Her prior connection with Elle has also sparked an interest in Colin in working with the two of them as an alliance. Overall, her and Elle sort of share the 2 and 3 spot since they are both well-liked, did well in the challenge, and are prime allies for Colin whose word will feel like law if this tribe ever goes to tribal.

Jay: Jay is neither here nor there. He isn’t in the bottom, but he is not calling the shots either. It is good that Colin wants him as his number 1 and that Anastasia likes him. Out of the three outside of this potential Elle, Colin, Anastasia alliance, he seems like he will be most likely to be saved until a swap occurs. His calls with people have certainly been helping with that as people are able to bond more with him through there. His activity could use work, but he doesn’t need to be active if he’s liked.

Babs: With another Jodi comparison, Babs has taken the leadership position of their tribe. However, they are not as social and, in fact, considered a big threat since they are so willing to talk freely and openly in the tribe chat. Their gameplay is going to be Messy, and people have already pointed that out, making them a clear target if this tribe goes to tribal council. Despite that, they aren’t at the bottom since some people, like Colin, have expressed interest in working with that kind of player as a sort of shield. If Babs were to tone it down and be more social with people (another problem with their game), they may be able to crawl up these rankings.

Jennifer: Sadly I have to put another phonetic Jennifer at the bottom. She did the worst in the challenge across her tribe and isn’t active either. For this round, it seems she would be the easy vote if this tribe had gone to tribal. She needs to start being more social and be more of a presence in people’s minds.

#episode #episodes

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blueluneacy · 5 years

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Fairytale Beasts

Happy Halloween month, I wrote werewolf kira. Im back baby. I have a bunch of half finished drafts im working through, so hopefully content will come out soon. anyways warnings for this are just like, dub con i guess? theres no nsfw it just gets suggestive towards the end. also id consider him a yandere in this but thats just me Also on AO3!

You always had to remind yourself that fairytales weren’t real. You always seemed to have your head in the clouds, looking out the window, imagining how you would be swept off your feet by your prince charming. Not that that day would ever come. You always told yourself you had to focus, to work hard, and maybe someday, you could get married. But for now, you had to focus on your office job. You had to. You couldn’t get yelled at by your boss for a third time over daydreaming. Sure, it was boring, meaningless work, but you still had to do it. You had to pay the bills somehow. So, you did so, trying to ignore the stories forming in your head.

You had always been like this, ever since you were a child. It was hard not to be some hopeless romantic in such a dreary world. To fall hopelessly in love was something tons of people wanted, wasn’t it? You couldn’t help but sigh, even as you got up and pulled out your outdoor shoes to head out to lunch.

It really was a nice day out. You smiled as you looked around, giving yourself the time to stare at the sky, to think about how nice hot coffee would be right now, with foam and maybe some caramel, or even-

You didn’t even realize you crashed into someone until you were on the ground. You cried out as your butt hit the ground, the pain of it causing you to come out of your haze. You saw the man you bumped into, and gasped. He was… Gorgeous, to say the least. You were doing your best to keep yourself from falling completely head over heels right there. You weren’t sure why you were so entranced, but just looking at him made you blush. From his golden hair, to the way his suit fell over his shoulders, to the expression of annoyance on his face. You noticed that annoyed last, and scrambled back, wincing slightly at the pain in your tailbone.

“Um, I’m sorry! I wasn’t watching where I was going, I’ll be more careful next time!” You were scrambling around for your bag, trying to pick up the things that had fallen out of it. You were too busy with your own thoughts to remember to zip it up. When you finally looked back at him, you noticed a hand in your face, raised to you. He was already standing, looking down at you. You gingerly took his hand, noticing how warm it was.

“Do you feel alright? You looked like you were in pain.” He asked, and you quickly drew your hand back once you realized you were still holding it. “Oh, me? I’m fine, just a little bruised!” You told him, laughing a bit. He gave you an odd look, one you couldn’t quite understand, then sighed.

“Then, do you need me to walk you home? You might get yourself more injured.” He asked, and you just squeaked as your heart skipped. What a gentleman… It was like the fairytale in your mind was coming true at last. But, you didn’t just give in, hoping in this stranger’s arms and asking him to take you to your happily ever after. You couldn’t, there just wasn’t enough time in your lunch break. “Oh, sorry, I’m actually on my lunch break right now… I um, I should actually get going.” You told him, looking at the ground, but he just smiled at you. You were so perfect. The way your eyes lit up was absolutely adorable. He supposed he could play with you for a little while. It would tie him over before his cravings started again.

“Then, would you like to eat lunch together? There’s a nice park we can sit at just a few minutes from here.” When he asked, you just knew you were screwed. You felt the blush rise in your face, and you just nodded dopily, giggling a bit. The man smiled at you, trying to keep back from squeezing too tightly as he took your hand and led you to the nearby park.

The two of you sat down under a tree in the shade. He finally introduced himself, and you just smiled, stumbling over your words. You felt the blush rise in his face, but he just laughed. He seemed to be good natured about everything. You felt yourself wanting to know more about this man, the man who’s name seemed to ring through your head like the chiming of bells.

Yoshikage Kira, just who are you?

He talked little more than face value about himself, instead asking your questions of some of the deepest nature.

“Where did you grow up?” “What kind of things scare you?”

“Are you so nervous around everyone?”

The answers you gave proved to be adequate to Kira, and you sighed in relief. After all, each word that Kira spoke to you seemed to pry its way into your soul, causing the butterflys in your stomach to flutter even more. You felt like if things continued this way, you were either going to throw up on your newfound crush or faint from your rising body temperature. But, as all good things do, the lunch came to an end.

“Ah, I have to get back to work.” Kira looked at his watch and stood up, holding out his hand to help you up. You saw the time on his watch and squeaked. You were already 5 minutes late. He just smiled and laughed at you again.

Kira escorted you back to your office after lunch was over, and you assumed that was the end. Your fairytale was finally over. But, then, you saw him again the next week, and he ended up walking you home from work. You offered him to come inside and have some tea, but he just waved you off.

“I really shouldn’t stay out late.”

Then, another time, it was a grocery store, where you stumbled right into his arms after tripping over some boxes.

“You do have a habit of falling into my arms, don’t you?”

Then, there was the coffee incident, where you ran into him at the same cafe you like to go to, and ended up completely ruining his shirt with iced coffee. You spent the next half hour trying to clean it with tissues.

“It’s really fine, dear. You don’t have to worry, I can take care of this.” The pet name he called you made your head spin, and you looked away, hoping to conceal how embarrassed you were.

“But, the stain…” You mumbled. “I’ll take it care of it. Besides, aren’t you late?” He asked, and you cringed. You were certainly going to get yelled at for this one.

“I, well, yes, but… I just want to try and fix my mistake…” You told him sheepishly, turning to run away. You wanted to get away from him before tears started flowing. But, as you tried to walk away, you felt a hand on your shoulder.

“Hey, (y/n). It was an accident. I don’t blame you for anything.” He told you, and you whimpered slightly, nodding. You refused to speak, for fear that your voice would crack and reveal how upset you really were. “So don’t worry about it, alright? It was actually… Nice to see you fuss over me like that.” You quickly turned to him, shocked at how serious he was. You felt yourself laugh, and he looked away, pink starting to dust his face.

“Hey, I’m serious. Don’t laugh at me.” He said with a slight pout. You wiped away some tears that started to fall, and smiled. “Hey, Kira, when’s your next day off?”

And so, your fairytale continued. You ended up at a teahouse, talking and laughing. It felt like a dream come true. He even asked for your phone number so he could schedule something with you again.

One date became two. Then three, and four, until finally, the two of you felt like a real couple. Kira was cool, tender, everything you wanted in a boyfriend. Your coworkers told you that they noticed how light and airy you were when you worked, even if you still made as many infractions as you did before. But, there was one thing wrong with your happy relationship.

“I can’t. I told you, I don’t like nights.” That was it. Kira would only meet with you during sun up. At night, he absolutely refused, no matter what. A movie? Well, there was a matinee, wouldn’t that work? Who needs to drink together, isn’t the teahouse fine? If you want, we could have an early dinner or a late lunch! It was a bit irritating, but you put it off. After all, he was your boyfriend. Maybe he was just a private person, or busy. Still, it haunted you. What was the man whom you loved so much hiding from you?

Yoshikage Kira, who really are you?

You felt bad about doing it, you really did. He tended to walk home alone in the fall, as to make sure he was home by sundown. You shouldn’t be following him without permission, you knew that. But god damn it, the man never even told you his address, even though he had been at your house countless times. So, you followed him, watching how he walked up to his own doorstep, unlocked his door, and went inside. And… That was it. Nothing else happened. You watched the house as the sun went down, but still, nothing. You sighed, feeling horribly guilty. Kira trusted you to respect his space, and here you were, spying on it. You stood up from your hiding spot to go home. Maybe you would be in time to watch some TV before going to bed. This was a bust, and you couldn’t help but feel bad about it. But, as you began to walk away, you heard it.

Maybe it was your imagination. But you swore, it had to be real. The sound of shattering glass, falling furniture, and… Some sort of animal? It sounded almost like a howl. Maybe Kira had a dog? You turned back, walking over to the house until you finally got to the front door. You paused at the door, looking and thinking. Should you really do this? The sound, it was… Could Kira be hurt? And if he was… What would happen if you did nothing? Even so, what if he hated you now?

Perhaps it was a risk worth taking.

You opened the door slowly, finding it unlocked, and entered the house. You swallowed as you took your shoes off, entering slowly and quietly.

“Hey, Yoshikage? I, uh, I was…” You had no idea what to say. At least you made your presence known. You entered the house slowly, wincing as you hear the wood creak with your every step. You finally reached the living room, finding an absolute mess. A book shelf was thrown onto the floor, and the couch cushions were completely torn. You looked over at the pile of fuzz, turning your head back to the wall where you believed the bookshelf once took. The wall was covered in… “Are these… Claw marks?” You whispered to yourself, leaning in to touch the now ruined wall, only to feel large hands push into you, grabbing your arms. One was pinned behind your back, while the other was against the wall. You screamed and squirmed, feeling hot breaths start to reach your ear.

“Is that… (y/n). You’re here. I could smell you the minute you walked in the door.” You were shocked and started to squirm.

“Yoshi, w-what’s going on? Let me go!” You cried out, but his grip only got tighter. You felt sharp nails, no, claws, start to dig into your wrists, and you turned back to try and look at your boyfriend. He seemed to have grown in height and strength, and you noticed hair all over him, a sharp contrast from the clean cut man you knew.

“I told you not to come here. I told you I couldn’t see you at night!” He was growling at this point, angry. You felt your wrists start to bleed, and you cried out. The blood did not go unnoticed by Kira, who started to sniff the air before leaning in closer to the wrist pinned to your back. You tried to crane your neck back to see what he was doing, but all you could see what Kira’s torn up clothes, fur that seemed to be all over him, and you even noticed a tail that started to wag as soon as you felt it. Kira examined your bleeding wrist, and lapped up the blood, even getting between your fingers a bit.

“You… You can’t… No one can know.” He told you, and you just whimpered, squirming more. “Y-Yoshi, please let me go, what’s going on?! Please, tell me.” You were shocked and horrified at what was happening. This is not the fairytale you had expected to find yourself in. Your boyfriend was supposed to be your prince, your knight in shining armor. Instead, you had seemed to find a beast in his place.

“I warned you. I so desperately tried to warn you.” He seemed almost sad, but only for a moment, before he finally turned you around to face him, his rage for betraying his trust coming back. You were… Shocked. You saw those sharp teeth, the smell of your own blood on his breath, and you just couldn’t deny it anymore.

“Y… You’re not my boyfriend. Y… You can’t be!” You cried out, squirming once again, trying to free yourself from his grasp. He let out a laugh, one that you used to love, but now was leaving you horrified.

“You don’t believe it’s me? Really now? And after all the time we’ve spent together.” He told you, leaning in give a tentative kiss on your neck. You gasped, looking at him with shock. He still smelled like his usual cologne.

“Y-Yoshikage… Please, Yoshi…” You whimpered, but he just continued, giving a new nips to test his boundaries.

“I told you. I tried to keep you out of this. But I can make this work. We can make this work.” He told you, and you cried out as you felt him bite into your neck, drawing blood. He gasped happily, moving to lap at your neck once again. He let out a hum, obviously pleased.

“If you came in when I was any hungrier, I might have torn you apart. You should feel lucky…” You felt his hands start to run all over your body, his claws starting to hang on parts of your clothing and tear them slightly. You tried to protest, clothes were expensive after all, but you would be quickly cut off by your Kira’s lips meeting yours, immediately forcing his tongue inside your mouth. He quickly forced you into submission, and even worse, you could feel yourself starting to want more. You let out a small moan as Kira pulled away and nipped at your lip. You hoped that he wouldn’t hear, but his keen ears flicked at the sound, and he just grinned.

“You like that? How crude of you. You know,” He tore your shirt off completely, you squeaking before it turned into a moan as he moved a clawed hand to your nipple.

“Originally, I was planning on eating you. I never planned on getting so attached… But I noticed how beautiful your fingers looked holding your lunch… And I became obsessed.” He told you, and you looked at him, a bit shocked.

“And now… Now that you’ve seen me… You can never leave me. Isn’t that wonderful?” He asked. You whimpered and just looked away. He… Killed people? You had always heard about the women who went missing in this town, but… It couldn’t really be him, could it? For the first time, you truly felt like you knew what terror was.

However, Kira wouldn’t take your silence. He simply scooped you up, and threw you onto the torn up couch, climbing on top of you. He quickly regained his spot at your neck, laughing once again. His body was just so hot, but it couldn’t stop your body from shaking in fear.

“You’re trembling… Hmm… Well, no matter…” He gathered up your wrists and pinned them above your head, looking down at you as if you were nothing more than a hunk of meat to him. In a way, perhaps that’s all you were. The look in his eyes was something you could only describe as feral and completely deranged.

“After all, I have forever to make you mine.”

#yoshikage kira #yoshikage kira/reader #jjba #jjba/reader #jjba x reader #yoshikage kira x reader #werewolf au #yandere x reader #yandere/reader #writing

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murasaki69 · 4 years

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Tag Game

Thanks for the tag @madsteacup ! 😊❤️

20 random FACTS about yourself that may surprise people.

1. do you make your bed?

Usually I do, but in the summer my bed is broke, and I cant use the inner storage anymore. X”D

2. what’s your favourite number? 9, that’s my lucky number.

3. what’s your job?

I’m an artist, graphic designer and currently I’m working in a small printer studio by alone. :D I’m making designs, posters, business cards, invitational cards, advertising board, well hardy anything. XD

4. if you could, would you go back to school?

Yes, but just in college. I love in this school everything. Primary schools and high schools not was so fun. Well definitely more terrible to me. :D

5. can you parallel park?

(search after what is this) Oh no, I dont have a driver licence. XD

6. a job you had which would surprise people?

Once, Im working with disabled people. My job was designed plates from handmade papers and... grape letters. :D I loved that job, and the workers too.

7. do you think aliens are real?

Well, I really dont know. Its didnt seems realistic, being alone in the all universe, maybe thats because of the huge distant of between the planets and galaxys. idk :D Maybe, but I dont believe in little green or grey alien. Sorry Mulder. :D

8. can you drive a manual car?

Well I say that again... I dont have a driver licence XD I dont know what does it mean :”D

9. what’s your guilty pleasure?

I have too many... XD reading long, in the dark, destoying my eyes completly. :D I agreed with @madsteacup I never ashamed, anything I love and do. :D Thats not guilty for me. I just do what I like. Even if I know something is bad for me. I have just one life. :D Im a real hedonist.

10. tattoos?

I dont have any, I never want and dont really interested. In other people its looks cool and nice but I never really want.

11. favourite colour?

Always the purple,especially like the dark shade. My clothes, my teethbrush, my drinking glass, my most of thing in this colour. I love that so much, I think Im obsessed with this colour really. :D

And of course the black is my other favourite.

12. things people do that drive you crazy?

Cheating, lying, disloyal for others, bullying, disrespectful for any other way, treacherous behavior. I never forgive these manners. Never.

13. any phobias?

My biggest fear about... buttons... X”D really I think thats so gross, any time I see one, or accidentally !TOUCH! one, I literally want to throw up... :X

My other insanity: wasps, high places, wet hair in the sinker. :X And the crowd, I dont like too much people in one place.

14. favourite childhood sport?

I’m not really into sport, I was always the silent, drawing type kid. :D

15. do you talk to yourself?

Ahh I always have very serious, deep, mocking or sometimes funny conversations with myself. :D

16. what movie do you adore?

The Green Mile - that one of the most powerful movie if I ever saw. That movie was shaping my personality, I see things like never before. And my all time favourite writer is Stephen King, beside Bryan Fuller.

17. do you like doing puzzles?

Sometimes, I like word search types and sudoku’s. :)

18. favourite kind of music?

Classic rock, Hard rock, classical music and Visual kei.

My favourite artist’s are: The Doors, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Slipknot, Metallica, Apocalyptica, old Korn ... etc

19. tea or coffee?

I never drink coffe, I prefer black tea. :D

20. the first thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up?

I always wanted to be an artist, an here we are... :D

Im drawing, painting just like in my childhood.

And designing in Adobe Illustrator and Photoshop. :D

I’ll tag people but you really don’t have to do it, only if you want to:

@unknownmusing @amethewombat @baldfat-time @kpoolsoldier @silvaxus

or just do that if you want. :)

#tag #tag game #personal #game

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diverdaddy · 6 years

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The Great Escape: Free Kanan

Pairing: KanaDia Word Count: 7 691 Summary: Dia pauses the search for her friend and pulls up the cardboard packaging, taking out a big, purple plastic mess from it. She finds the spout where a pump may go, inhales a deep breath and the blows it out into the inflatable object.

-Record scratch, freeze frame on Dia as she's about to exhale-

‘’Yup thats me. You're probably wondering how i ended up in this situation.. Well we gotta go back a couple weeks‘’

Author’s Note: Hi, thank you @nozoroomie for my life I dont know how to write but thank you so so much for doing this collab with me and for pretending like I do know what im doing anyways! This is small gift for our friend @chilopawbi because sometimes even your really dumb friends deserve something nice. And this is one of those times. Also avaliable to read on Roomie’s! [AO3]

One would not expect there to be much activity by the pier of the Kurosawa fishing business late on a Friday night. Normally, after 8pm at the latest, lights are shut off in the factory, boats are safely secured in the docks and everything is as it should be. But tonight, if one looked closely, they would see the form of a young adult sneaking into the boat docks, with a large bundle tucked under one arm and a flashlight in the other.

Said girl walks over to the very end of the docking bay, kneeling down without a care. She places the large cardboard packaging under her arm on the wooden floor next to her and glances around the murky waters of the bay, searching for someone. She frowns a bit when she can’t immediately find who she looks for, but time waits for no one. She opts out of her search for her friend in favour of opening the cardboard packaging and getting to work. She spreads out what looks to be a purple plastic mess that’s meant to be blown up. She takes a deep breath and exhales it before picking it up, finding the little spout where a pump may go and instead putting her mouth around it. One more big inhale and then Dia begins to exhale inside the object.

Why exactly does she find herself here tonight? She thinks back to why she’s done this in the first place and remembers all too well what happened when her father came home that day from work.

The senior Kurosawa with dark red hair that matched his youngest daughter was distraught. He sat in the kitchen, head in his hands as his wife brought him a cup of tea. Dia had been walking past the kitchen but the position her father was in wasn’t normal. She pauses on the other side of the doorway when her mother speaks.

“Are you positive that’s what you saw dear? An actual-”

“Absolutely. I have the proof- she can’t move. She’s hurt and stuck there for her own safety.”

“Wow.. A real life mermaid.”

Dia almost falls over. A what?! There’s no way she can hide herself now.

“Excuse me, what?!” Dia says, stepping into the kitchen with a determined look on her face. The one both her mother and father know means she won’t be leaving them until she’s gotten all the information she needs. Her father prinches the bridge of his nose while her mother sighs.

“Dia,” Her father says in a serious tone, bringing his hand down, “Were you eavesdropping on our conversation?”

Yes.

“No- I was walking past,” She responds curtly, “You found a mermaid at work? Really? You can’t be serious.”

She’s always been skeptical about the local tales- the rumours of mermaids living in the ocean near their little town. She thought it was all a legend- stories from the past that were passed down through generations of families and told to the children to fill their minds with wonder and to respect the ocean more (after all, mermaids and the animals can’t continue to live safely unless they keep the ocean clean.)

But Dia is a firm believer in solid proof. There is little proof that mermaids exist- only theories. She refuses to believe this issue at work is a mermaid and not something more urgent. Her father sighs and he stands up, leaving his full cup of tea.

“Well there’s no point arguing with you. Come along Dia- and not a word of this to your little sister, understand?”

No words are said by the two of them as they head towards the front door. They get their shoes on and Dia’s father leads them towards his work truck. Dia feels a little nervous from the aura of anger and exhaustion radiating off of her father, but he doesn’t seem upset or angry. Frustrated maybe- but not with her. The girl feels maybe she should say sorry, but her pride is a stubborn thing. She’ll wait until apologies are meant to be given.

“Father, are you really serious about this mermaid?” Dia asks him in a soft, concerned voice. He keeps his eyes on the road and lets out a small sigh.

“I know you, Dia. You won’t believe me unless you see it for yourself.” He replies simply. Dia blushes a bit embarrassed but leans back in her seat.

The rest of the ride is short and quiet. Dia steps out of the truck when they’re parked and she follows her father into the warehouse. The walk down the docks is a little eerie. Dia feels a twinge of fear within her but she follows her father regardless.

They approach the final bay in the warehouse where their most expensive fishing boat rests. There’s a long rope going along the front of the boat from one dock to the next and a sign that says “Out of order” right in the middle. Dia takes a once over of the side she can see and notices where the large net motor should be its not there- baron of any sign of a net motor whatsoever. She opens her mouth to ask her father what happened when he peers over the dock and points under the water with his flashlight.

“Right there.” he says, holding the light in place, “See down there? The slight discoloured spots just by the bottom of the boat? The spots throw you off but if you focus on them you’ll see the tail fin.”

Sure enough, Dia squints and the spots she can see move. Her brows furrow and when she tries to locate them her eyes detect movement. She follows it with her gaze and she lets out an audible gasp when she sees not just the spots of a tail fin, but an actual, real life form of a mermaid. It’s dark and Dia swears, if it weren’t for the light from their flashlight, she would not believe it. A real living mermaid.

“What… what are you going to do with her?” Dia asks in an unbelieving voice.

Her father stays silent and Dia finally takes her stare away from the mermaid. He looks like he’s contemplating something and Dia really doesn’t like that gaze he has. The answer should be obvious- help heal the mermaids fin and send her back into the ocean where she belongs. But new net motors aren’t cheap and the equipment to repair their best boat may be pricey- she knows that it might put a financial strain on the company. But nothing they couldn’t handle.

His expression alone says a million things that are far from the answer Dia wants to hear.

“That’s undecided. We’re going to figure it all out tomorrow.” He finally answers. “I’m going to go into the office to make a call since we’re here. Come get me when you’re ready to go home.”

He heads down the dock and into the direction of the office building while Dia stays put. It angers her to know that her father may be planning something more for the mermaid before he even releases her- or if he even releases her. She looks down with a furious gaze.

“Disgusting. I won’t let him do anything like that if I can help it.”

As her sentence is finished there’s a small sploosh noise and Dia perks up immediately, flashing her light towards the sound. All she can see are ripples on the surface of the water between her and the boat, and there’s only one thing that could’ve done it. Dia peers towards the surface closer to her and she almost yells when she finds a piercing, amethyst gaze staring up at her through the water. She hears herself gasp but can’t process anything as she gets a close up look of the mysterious mermaid.

Her hair is long and dark- most likely a deep blue hue. Her gaze is cautious, yet there is a curiosity in it that Dia can recognize quite easily. Her gaze moves and Dia can see that the scales and spot designs aren’t just a part of her tail fin- they go up along her sides and cover parts of her chest, as well as parts of her arms (her big, strong looking arms, and oh so very defined biceps.) and framing her face. She can only assume her back is covered in more of the beautiful patterned scales and it’s only then that Dia realizes just how beautiful this mermaid is. She takes in more details of her face- the way her nose points up ever so slightly in a dainty way, the fullness of her lips (her very kissable lips), the way the scales along the underside of her face make her chin more prominent.

Dia swallows. Hard. Oh no. Oh no this mermaid is cute. No- she’s more than cute. This mermaid is a hottie. A bonafide hottie who Dia wishes was more than just a creature of the sea. She hates this- it’s bad enough having a gay crisis in public with Mari around, but now she’s having a moment alone, in her family’s business, with a mermaid of all things.

Her face is the brightest shade of red and whether it’s from shame or the mermaids beauty, Dia really doesn’t know.

The mermaid has yet to move away and she looks further down to find the injury her father mentioned earlier- as clear as day. Along with what looks like rope burns, the sea creature has a long, painful looking gash going down towards her fin, and it is definitely some kind of swollen. Dia frowns concerned, wondering if anything might be able to help it. Does human medicine work on mermaids? Would the mermaid be willing to try it and find out? Would disinfectant cream even be useful if the mermaid has to be in the water? There’s so many questions running through Dia’s mind, but all she can really think about is how this mermaid needs to be let back into the ocean. They can’t keep her here. It’s too cruel. It’s unfair and unjust and holding her hostage is not the way anyone in the Kurosawa family should handle things.

“I’m not sure if you understand me but if you do, please don’t be afraid,” she says softly, “I’m going to help you out of here and get you back home.”

The mermaid doesn’t seem to react much aside from blinking slowly at her. Does this mean she understood? Dia certainly hopes so. She blushes a bit but clears her throat, deciding she’ll talk with her father now, since she has the opportunity.

She doesn’t leave immediately though- there’s something about the mermaids gaze that keeps her entranced. Are mermaids and sirens the same thing? Is this what it’s like to be caught in the spell of one? (Or is Dia just that gay..) She isn’t sure but she also doesn’t mind. The way the mermaid stares has become more curious and interested than anything else and Dia can only hope it’s because she’s understood her slightly.

With one last look over her shoulder Dia heads for her father’s office.

‘’What do you mean I would have to get a brand new boat!?’’ Her father’s voice echos out of the office as Dia gets closer to the door. Now Dia might be gay, but she wasn’t bad at math, a brand new boat would dent the company’s paychecks more than just a small equipment replacement. She stops outside of the office door, this was worse than she thought it would be.

The mermaids fate was probably sealed now that her father got the bad news. How was he planning on exploiting the mermaid now that their best boat had to be replaced? Was there any laws against exploiting mermaids? did it count as animal cruelty or maybe slavery? The more Dia thought about it the more determined she got. She had to help the mermaid break out, and fast.

By the time Dia is out of breath the purple plastic object is far from looking anything like the picture on the cardboard box it came out of. How could her budget bought inflatable chair be so hard to blow up? The huffing and puffing escaping from her would put the big bad wolf to shame, this was ridiculous!

‘’Hey Dia, do you any need help?’’

Dia almost chokes when the friend she was looking for shows up, of course she would be caught now that she was out of breath and looked like a roasted tomato. Facing the mermaid that was looking up at her Dia can’t help but blush harder before collecting herself.

“There you are Kanan.” She finally says, a bit out of breath. “You’re late.”

Kanan smiles a bit.

“I’ve been here the whole time, you just never thought to look under the dock.” She says with a cheeky grin that catches Dia off guard and god could this mermaid be anymore charming?! Seriously?! Just a single smile and Dia’s stomach is doing flips.

Her attention however quickly zones in on all the things Dia brought with her, especially the cardboard packaging for the purple plastic mess Dia was so desperately trying to blow up. She tilts her head curiously, using her hands to push herself up on the dock and keeping herself held up as she read the letters on the box. There’s familiar characters on the label, but on the picture of the box there are a few english letters spelt out. She focuses her gaze on it to try to read what it says.

“B-Brit-ney Spear-s, What’s a ‘Britney Spears?’’ The mermaid asks out of curiosity as she reads the english text out loud.

“To- to address your question, no- No I’m, I’m fine, I- I can do this.” Dia tries to bluff, but she realizes exactly how close Kanan is at this moment and loses a bit of her confidence, “It’s just a dumb, a really dumb Britney Spears, that’s exactly what a Britney Spears is.’’

She feels too embarrassed to admit that Britney Spears is actually an american pop star but Kanan doesn’t need to know that. She turns back to the task at hand, blowing with all her might into the purple plastic as to prove a point, but her moment only lasts for so long before she gives in to her already dead lungs again.

“Feels like you’ve been doing that forever huh? Think we’ll be able to pull this off without your dad finding out?” Kanan asks, leaning onto her elbows and resting her head on her hands as she watches the other girl.

Dia takes a couple deep breaths of air and shakes her head, preparing herself to blow into the inflatable object once again. If she didn’t have powerful lungs before, she certainly would after today. She tries to blow more air into the object but she runs out of breath fast. Maybe she should take a longer break.

“What exactly is stopping your dad from interrupting us?” Kanan asks, a curious smile dancing on her lips.

“One word.” Dia breathes out, digging into her pocket and bringing out her phone. She scrolls through it a little bit before she turns the screen to face Kanan, “Mari.”

“Oookay.. so, how is this ‘Mari’ stopping your dad?” Kanan pries for more information with that smile still on her face. Dia’s face heats up a little more. Gross. She’s super cute when she wants to learn more.

“Mari is the director of my high school.” Dia explains with a bit of reluctance. “She arranged a parent teacher interview with my father. I don’t know the reason why but I do have a bad feeling about it.”

“Why’s that?”

“I have a feeling whatever reason she’s called my father to the school is because she made it seem very urgent. She never told me what she was going to say, but I have a feeling I’ll be scolding her later.”

As this is said, somewhere, across the city at Uranohoshi Girls academy, Mari feels a chill run up her spin as she looks at Mr. Kurosawa across from her. In front of her are three pictures of what seems to be his youngest daughter vandalising school property with various doodles of sweets, small animals and the most alarming thing of all- an english phrase of some sort that reads “send nudes.”

[The truth of the matter is they were all photos taken for the year book that were edited by her and a comrade in arms (Yohane, they called her) to make it look like the little Kurosawa was destroying school property. Mari assumes Dia will be furious with her, but she’s confident she’ll be able to convince Dia it was the only option. ]

Kanan laughs a melodious sound and Dia feels like she could melt into a pile of liquid. Her laugh sounded like velvet and gold, a weird way to describe a laugh but it’s the only way it makes sense to Dia. Dia’s heartbeat echoes and she hopes, prays that mermaids don’t have super hearing. It would be embarrassing for Kanan to hear how loud it is right now.

“Wonder what she made him go all the way there for.” the mermaid muses, lifting her tail fin above the water slightly to splash the surface in an amused manor. Almost like an excited dog wagging its tail.

Dia almost falls over and clutches her chest at the image of the mermaid with puppy ears. (Like the snapchat filter, tongue out and all.)

“So, what is it you’re trying to blow up there?” Kanan asks, still as curious as ever, “Is it going to help you move me to the ocean?”

“Not quite.” Dia replies as she pulls the plastic apart to see just how much more air it needs. “It’s what I’m going to use to follow you far enough into the ocean so I can assure you’ll be safe and on your way home.”

Kanan snorts and Dia glares at her slightly.

“The plan is we blow this up here, you hoist yourself out and I guide you into the wheelbarrow half full of water, then we throw on the hat and chair and other various things to disguise you and make it look like I’m just moving a bunch of junk towards the beach so nobody stares for too long. Once we get to the ocean, I’ll help you into the water then follow you with the floating chair and we go out to the ocean and you go home.” Dia feels like that was a bit of a mouthful but Kanan laughs lightly.

“You know you could just swim in the ocean if you wanna follow me, right?” She suggests to Dia but Dia shakes her head.

“No you see, how will I be able to protect you or me from anything coming our way? I’d be too distracted swimming to keep up with you. So I brought this paddle to smack away anything that tries to harm us.”

Kanan stares at her a little bewildered before she slowly smirks.

“Okay, sure. So we’ve got you sitting on this… not inflated Britney Spears, with the paddle, and then I’m going to hold those while you wheel me to the ocean in the.. Wheelbarrow?” Kanan says, going through the gist of what Dia’s plan is and confirming if she got it right.

Well. When she says it like that it sounds a little far fetched.

“Just let me stick to blowing up this thing so we can get you home. The sooner I do, the sooner we won’t have to worry about my father.” Dia says then she grabs the chair near its spout again.

God she does not want to continue trying to blow this thing up.

Kanan looks around through the things she has there and frowns.

“Can’t you use a tool or something to make it inflate faster? What was it you guys call it.. a pimp? pimple?”

“A pump!” Dia immediately corrects, and the idea hits her like a paddle and illuminates the lightbulb above her head. “A pump! My father probably has one around here!”

It doesn’t take Dia a lot of searching- there’s a locker at the end of the dock bay filled with assorted supplies and tools. She finds the pump almost instantly and runs back to the spot where Kanan waits with the Britney Spears chair. Her face lights up as she sees the pump in Dia’s hands.

“You did have one!” She exclaims.

“Of course! What real fishing business would have a ship dock without an air pump?”

Well, Dia isn’t really sure if it’s necessary to have an air pump for fishing boats, but she’s certainly glad her father and his coworkers thought it was good to keep around.

She gets back to work, finding the little spout where a pump may go, and this time she has one. She connects the pump to the spout before she realises that this is in fact.. a manual pump. Dia almost wants to cry, but she holds it in as she steps onto the small plastic sides, bends over slightly (a lot) to reach the handle and starts pumping with all her strength. And sure enough the pump is more effective than the previous method.

Kanan is watching, the amusement evident in her face as Dia struggles with both balance and rhythm on the manual pump. Human inventions sure was something. But the speed the Britney Spears was inflating at slowed down significantly as Dia’s arms gave in faster than a moth to light.

Why was I a fool in school for cutting gym?! Dia can’t believe it, but she almost feels more out of breath using the pump than she was using her lungs as her arms burns with every movement she makes.

‘’Can I give it a try?’’ Kanan asks a little cheekily as she splashes some more water around with her tail fin.

Dia wants to say no, like the prideful stubborn adult that she is, but the mental image in her brain tells her yes, the mermaid’s arms are strong, with big and defined biceps and getting to see those arms work it... if Dia was a roasted tomato in the past, she’s a marshmallow on fire about to get charred to death right now.

‘’Y-you may,’’ is all Dia can manage as she steps off the pump and moves it closer to the edge for Kanan to reach.

Kanan pulls herself up onto the wooden floor as best as she can, her upper body now out of the water. She bends her tail fin and rests carefully on the dock, the tips of her fin slightly covered by the waters below them. Kanan grabs the handle of the pump and lifts it up, pulling it with ease. She looks a bit surprised at how easy it was and she can’t help but smirk when she pushes her arms forward with just as much ease. She repeats these motions and Dia watches, helplessly and with a bit of envy at how easy it is for the mermaid to pump up this chair. Something that should be absolutely no problem for a slightly athletic human such as herself.

But Dia can’t stop staring. She watches as the mermaid’s flexes her very defined and strong muscle in her upper arms, and how her biceps look even bigger and stronger than they did in the water the first time Dia saw them. If Dia was just any undignified barbaric creature she might’ve been drooling right about now, but Dia had some self control, after all she was a Kurosawa, she had some dignity still left in her as she wipes the corner of her mouth real quick just in case. (When Kanan can’t’ see.)

Good thing It isn’t long before the inflatable object begins to form into the shape its meant to be and in no time at all it’s finished. Dia stops Kanan from pushing a last pump of air into it. She takes out the pump, closes up the spout and then she begins to admire their handy work.

“What.. is it?” Kanan asks, leaning towards it and poking it tentatively, a bit shocked from how sturdy the plastic is.

“A chair.” Dia answers simply.

“A chair.” Kanan repeats, staring at the words “Britney Spears” that are along the back of its purple and glittery design with lots of flowers. “It certainly is. Something.”

She turns herself towards Dia, almost directly beside her on the dock. Dia’s eyes gaze down just the slightest bit and she notices her hand is just one small slip away from touching Kanan’s. She wonders if Kanan is cold all the time, considering where she lives. Or maybe her hands would be warm from the work she did pumping up the chair. Would they be slimey, or just wet? Would they feel perfect with her fingers intertwined between hers, or maybe even better with them holding her around the waist in the tightest embra-

Dia shakes her head and smacks her cheeks and it startles Kanan ever so slightly. She tilts her head and looks bewildered at Dia and the eldest Kurosawa daughter decides they need to move out now before her mind travels to more dangerous thoughts and imaginations.

“I’ll be right back.” she says, preparing to stand, “It’s time we get you out of here and back to the ocean.”

Once Dia is on her feet again she leaves to go find the wheelbarrow where she parked it. It doesn’t take her long to find it and wheel it back over to Kanan, her own arms really getting a workout tonight, but the wheels on the wheelbarrow sure made it possible even for Dia.

Thankfully Dia had prepared enough by already filling the wheelbarrow with water with the help of a friend, the water hose that the workers would wash the different equipment with. Now all they would have to do was get Kanan into it.

When Dia comes into view again Kanan’s curiosity is sparked, this wheelbarrow looked so heavy, yet Dia seemed to be able to push it around just fine. Human inventions didn’t seem all that bad, they were quite amazing.

‘’So that is a wheelbarrow? It’s amazing, it makes it possible even for you to move really heavy things!’’ Kanan beams with that smile plastering her face whenever she learns something new and exciting, and Dia, Dia is insulted, and gay, and its unfair because Kanan was so dang cute even when she was being so blunt.

‘’Yes, now we just need to get you into it. Do you think you can lift yourself into it?’’ Dia asks, pushing the wheelbarrow as close to Kanan as she can.

‘’Maybe,’’ Kanan grabs onto the edge of the side of the wheelbarrow, slowly lifting her upper body off the wooden dock and into the wheelbarrow. When it starts to wiggle slightly Dia throws herself over the opposite site, and with some teamwork and spilled water Kanan finally makes it into the wheelbarrow.

Now with her her ‘butt’ submerged in what water was still left in the wheelbarrow Kanan lets out small giggle that turns into a full on laugh as she wiggles her tail that’s hanging off the edge in a small celebration. ‘’Dia we did it!’’

Doki doki, Dia’s heart almost stops there and then, how can this mermaid keep amazing her like this, this was bad for Dia’s health in more ways than one as she forgets how to breath when the mermaids laugh plays in her head and she soaks up the picture perfect 4K HD smile worthy of an Oscar to go along with it. Keep it together Dia, you still have a mission to complete!

But god did it take all of her not to clutch her chest at the sight. She needed to cover this girl up! Without warning she bends down to pick up a folded up beach towel and throws it over the part of Kanan’s fin that drapes on the outside the wheelbarrow. Then she throws a hat on top of her head and before Kanan can register anything else, sunglasses are shoved perfectly in place on her face.

She then turns to the blown up chair and furrows her brow. It might be a bit inconvenient transporting it this way now that Dia looks at it, but what’s done is done. She turns to Kanan for a moment, blushing in slight embarrassment as she speaks.

“H-hold onto this.” she says, grabbing the inflated chair and resting the practically weightless object onto the mermaids lap. The amount of times she's stuttered tonight is preposterous and the sooner Kanan is back at home in the ocean, the sooner she won't be suffering from being too gay to function.

Dia soon moves to the back of the wheelbarrow and with a little bit of effort, she lifts up the handles and pushes forward. The additional weight proves to be a bit of a surprise and she lurches forward, Kanan almost dropping the chair and more water spilling in the process. Kanan laughs lightheartedly while Dia tries not to trip over herself and onto the mermaid. She’s already been embarrassing enough.

After a couple trials and errors Dia finally grasps how to control the wheelbarrow with a mermaid and inflatable chair inside it. After a couple nasty sharp turns she’s out of the ships docking bay and into the evening light, the sun a deep orange and reflecting a beautiful array of colours into the sky. A perfect time for a mermaid send off if she’s honest.

She maneuvers carefully towards the beach, having a bit more difficulty the moment the wheelbarrows tire goes from solid ground to sand. Dia huffs and puts a bit more effort into it, lifting Kanan up higher and using more force from her legs to push forward. She notices Kanan’s sideways glance to look at her but she forces her gaze to stay away from that deep purple gaze. In the light of the setting sun they’re almost a wineish red colour and it’s such a distracting gaze it’s taking all of Dia not to make direct eye contact with her.

With a bit of success (Kanan caught her gaze three times and with each time she did, her eyes crinkled upward) she finally reaches the water. She drops the wheelbarrow and moves to the side of it, grabbing the chair off of Kanan’s lap. She then removes the hat, sunglasses and towel, leaving them all in a small neat pile not to far away. She can hear Kanan shifting by the sloshing sounds of the water beneath her butt in the wheelbarrow. She’s eager to get back into the ocean and back home.

Her heart aches a bit, knowing this is it. This may very well be the last time Dia will ever see Kanan again. She knows it’s a little to early to think about this but knowing there’s only a bit more time left with the cryptid does hurt. Dia would have loved to see her again and again, to learn about Kanan’s world under the sea and in turn tell Kanan tales about her life on land. There’s so many more things Dia wants to experience with this mermaid. She wishes with all her heart that they had more time together.

She takes a deep breath and taps her cheeks lightly. The angsty sadness can wait until later- right now the mission was almost at it’s end. Kanan needs to be back in the ocean where she’s safe and Dia won’t let her wait any longer. She turns back to the mermaid and hopes that she can’t see the sadness in her eyes.

“Alright Kanan, are you ready?”

Kanan’s smile becomes a toothy grin and she nods.

“Let’s do this Dia!”

‘’Here goes!!’’

Dia lifts the handles of the wheelbarrow again, there was only a whole three or four meters of sand left separating Kanan from the ocean. One big breath and Dia pushes forward with what’s left of her strength. Was the wheelbarrow always this heavy? Was it Dia’s fatigue? Was it just the sadness weighing down on her in the last moment? She can’t think about that— she’s almost there!

The front wheel, the only wheel, on the wheelbarrow touches the water.

That’s when it happens. The wave crashes into the front of the wheelbarrow and Dia’s life is flashing before her eyes as she loses her balance, her feet slip on the sand, the wheelbarrow falls over like humpty dumpty toppling off his brick wall. They were so close.. yet Kanan goes crashing down into the wet sand and that is the last thing Dia sees before she gets a mouthful of wet sand herself.

Dia’s head hurts, but the splashing sound she hears as she opens her eyes again, could it be? Did Kanan make it into the ocean after all? She rolls over and pushes herself into a sitting position, focusing her eyes on the last spot she saw Kanan in and, she is still there, splashing at the edge of the water where waves meet sand, like the most majestic Magikarp Dia’s ever seen.

‘’Kanan are you okay!?’’ The distress in Dia’s voice was strong.

When all Dia can hear is coughing, almost like someone dying she gets even more worried and scrambles on her arms and knees over to the mermaid.

Kanan stops splashing around, calming down slowly as she looks at Dia’s face. She inches closer slowly.

‘’I’m fine Dia,” she insists with a giggle, ”I couldn’t stop laughing my fins off when we both fell.”

Just the thought of it makes her laugh again and Dia almost swoons. A smile grows on her face and she shakes her head. Kanan seems okay and that relieves her, but the grainy texture and taste of salt and sea water still coats a bit of the inside of her mouth and she turns away from the mermaid to spit what remains back onto the ground where it belongs.

There’s a bigger splash and it causes Dia to turn around. She notices Kanan has pulled herself deeper into the water, not quite fully submerged. The dorsal fin and parts of the back of her tail rise from the wave as it settles over Kanan and she keeps herself upright with her forearms. It looks as if she’s pushing herself into the wave and she lets out a content sigh when she sees another coming her way. She’s distracted if only for a moment and then realizes she should probably get ready to set out to sea with her. She swallows a bit nervously.

“W-wait! Kanan don’t go too far yet!” She calls, pushing herself onto her feet and rushing back to the sand. She grabs the inflatable chair (or attempts, it takes her a solid two times to get a good hold of it thanks to the fall) and the paddle and heads back towards the waves. She silently prays they pumped the chair up with enough air to keep it afloat while she accompanies Kanan deeper into the waters.

Once Dia has everything in a solid grip she sprints as fast as her legs can take her towards the ocean in a Baywatch run, except less graceful as the chair almost slips from her grip and every step is a battle against gravity, and how Dia wishes she could just defy it like a green Idina Menzel. The struggle was real, yet she manages to reach the edge of the water with both the Britney Spears chair and the paddle without any more accidents.

Kanan swims freely in the shallow parts of the water close to the beach, keeping a close eye on her human friend and her Britney Spears chair. When Dia had made it somewhat properly into the water, sitting unsteady on her inflatable chair Kanan swims up to her, circling her like prey. Not that Kanan has any plans on eating Dia, but it isn’t too far off from looking like a Jaws parody.

It’s when Kanan bumps the chair playfully enough that Dia gets really unsteady, her paddling uncoordinated and more of a wild splashing with her arms as she wants to cry again. The mermaid’s like a playful sea puppy and Dia’s fearing for her life, yet she can’t stop the way her heart beats out of her chest at how cute Kanan is, even if said very heckin cute mermaid is about to commit involuntary manslaughter.

“Kanan! Stop- that’s unsafe!” Dia says as she slowly realizes the two of them are drifting into the ocean more and more. The dread sets in as all of Dia’s easy escapes from the waves are virtually gone. Soon she’s going to be all the way out in the middle of the ocean with nothing but a paddle and an inflatable chair to keep her company and then the chair will deflate and before she knows it she’ll be swimming for three days before she finally-

“AAH!” Dia screams as a large wave is splashed onto her and the cold shocks her to her core.

“Sorry! It was the only way to bring you back to me.” Kanan says, though the expression on her face is more like ‘you weren’t paying attention and I wanted to punish you for that.’ The expression is lost when she notices Dia looks a little.. pale.

“Dia? Are you okay?” she asks, lifting her hands up onto the plastic and holding onto the arm of the chair, “Did my splash scare you that much?”

The concern in Kanan’s voice is surprised and she look very apologetic. Her eyes give it all away— those beautiful eyes. Fuck, the setting sun just has to make them even prettier than they were before. Dia takes a deep breath before speaking.

“The truth is I didn’t bring all of this as a..protection thing.”

“Well, that was a little obvious.”

“What?!”

“I mean,” Kanan smiles lightheartedly and gestures to the tiny paddle, “A paddle like that will get you nowhere. Literally.”

Dia’s tempted to throw it at Kanan’s stupidly gorgeous face but opts not to, instead lifting her hands up to cover her face so Kanan can’t see the extremely ripe tomato she’s about to become. Would Kanan possibly believe she got sunburnt fast?

“Seriously though,” Kanan begins again and Dia peers through her fingers to look down at her. That piercing wine coloured gaze stares at her with worry, “What’s wrong Dia? Are you okay?”

And for some reason, the embarrassment floods away. Dia doesn’t feel as nervous about admitting the truth to her. She lowers her hands and diverts her gaze to the waves that reflect the light of the lowering sun.

“I… am not the best swimmer. That is to say I, Dia Kurosawa, cannot swim. I never really learnt how and I never thought I would really need to. A little silly, when you see what kind of business my family owns and runs and-”

“Is that all?!” Kanan asks a little bewildered, cutting the brunette off from her rambling.

“Wha-” Dia narrows her gaze, perplexed. “What do you mean ‘is that it’?! This is a big deal! We’re getting deeper and deeper and soon I won’t be able to-”

“Dia. Stay with me, okay?” Kanan puts a reassuring hand onto her wrist, smiling up at the nervous girl. “You just happen to be in the middle of the ocean with one of the worlds cryptic wonders who happens to be a very talented swimmer.”

Dia wants to scoff at Kanan’s attempt of a joke but instead she just frowns at the mermaid.

“I don’t see how that’s supposed to be reassuring. You’re the good swimmer here, not me.”

“What I mean is I can show you the basics. I’ve never taught a human how to swim before but I’ve seen them swimming numerous times. If you could slide into the water, I’ll show you what I mean.”

Kanan holds out her hand and looks at Dia with a gentle, inviting smile. She doesn’t remove her gaze from the nervous girl and there’s a calming aura about her— one completely different from the playful sea puppy like vibe she gave earlier. Dia doesn’t need to linger on the thought as she reaches her hand towards Kanan’s and slips it together with hers, trusting the mermaid and her words and shifting.

With a warm, excited smile Kanan holds out her other hand, gesturing for Dia to take that one as well. She does slowly, eyeing Kanan carefully. The mermaid pushes herself back a little, having to outstretch her arms alongside Dia just a bit. “I’ve got you, Dia. Slide off of the Britney Spears and into the water with me.”

Dia makes a sound of objection at Kanan’s statement but it’s nothing more than an offended sounding gasp as Kanan gives her a tiny tug forward and Dia slides into the cold water. She inhales sharply and just as the fear is setting in, Kanan squeezes her hands, bringing her back to the present and back to their current time.

“It’s okay Dia! You’re staying afloat and I’ve got you! I won’t let you drown!”

Dia’s fingers grip onto Kanan tightly and the mermaid continues to reassure her that she will be okay. She can’t think about much as Kanan instructs and guides her to kick her legs ever so slightly. when she does her body lifts and Kanan swims backwards just a bit, still holding onto her hands.

“I won’t let go- keep kicking! This is how humans do it to move forward!”

“I-I understood that!” Dia retorts flustered, but doing as told. She kicks her feet and proceeds to move forward, but not on her own. Kanan swims backward with each movement Dia makes forward. It’s nice and it’s good and Dia hates to admit how this one on one lesson with the mermaid has made swimming much easier for her.

They swim like this for a bit, Kanan guiding Dia and moving them around the water. The more Dia gets used to holding Kanan’s hands, the less she wants to let go. She’s completely content to stay here if it meant holding onto the hand of the most beautiful being in the world. Kanan’s smile is soft and Dia can’t help but return it.

It’s then Kanan pulls Dia close, letting go of her hands very briefly and instead wrapping her arms around the form of the other girl, pulling her close and hugging her tight. Dia blinks in surprise but doesn’t object to the motion, only taking in the fact that she can feel the contrast of soft skin and scales against her. They feel just like a sharks, they’re rough one way, yet smooth when she brushes her hand the other way. She blushes slightly, holding onto Kanan in return.

“Dia, I wanted to thank you. For everything you’ve done.” Kanan begins in a soft voice, her arms wrapped around Dia. “You risked a lot to help me get back home and without you I really couldn’t have done it.”

Dia pulls away enough to meet Kanan’s gaze and she feels like she could melt. The silence is prolonged and Dia decides to speak.

“It’s nothing Kanan. It really isn’t.” She replies in an equally soft tone. “When I saw you I couldn’t just… let you stay there. You needed to be back here- back where it’s safest for you. As much as I would love to see you all the time, it wouldn’t be right for anyone to keep you locked away in some kind of aquarium tank or boat bay or.. or anything where you’re not free.”

Kanan’s gaze softens a bit and she smiles. There’s a playful glint in her eye and she lifts one of her hands up, brushing some wet strands of hair behind Dia’s ear. Dia almost leans into the touch of her hand but resists.

“Did you know that humans have interesting tales about the magical properties of a mermaid’s tear?” Kanan asks, keeping her eyes on Dia.

Dia blinks and shakes her head.

“No- not at all.” She admits honestly.

“Well- it’s a myth. Mermaid’s tears have no more magic than the tears of a human.” She explains, but leans her face a bit closer to her. “However they aren’t too far off. Mermaids do have something magical about them, but it’s not our tears.”

Dia is a bit perplexed and before she can ask Kanan what it is, Kanan’s arm falls and she pulls Dia close and without warning, she pulls the girl underwater. Dia’s scream is muffled, but not by water rushing into her lungs. Her eyes are screwed shut and she’s very much aware of something soft pressing to her lips.

She opens her eyes once the presence leaves and without thinking about it she inhales the sea water. Her hands shoot up to her mouth out of reflex but it’s only then she realizes that she isn’t choking. She looks to Kanan -who stays only inches away from her- and notices the tiny blush on her cheeks and the crooked grin on her face.

“A mermaid’s kiss can do many things, like giving a human the ability to breathe underwater for a small period of time.” She says, lifting her hands up to Dia’s cheeks and holding her face gently in the palms of her hands. “And this will be my gift to you, so we can enjoy our swim together for just a little bit longer. ”

Dia’s heart flips and she smiles as she moves her hand to find Kanan’s, intertwining their fingers together and letting the mermaid pull her along underneath the water’s surface.

#Love Live! Sunshine!!#Kanan Matsuura #Dia Kurosawa #KanaDia #love live sunshine #love live! school idol festival #Kanan #Dia #nox writes #Did Dia drown? we just dont know.#this is the first time I write fanfic be gentle

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musesoftheminds · 7 years

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Scandal Review 6.02- 'Careful What You Wish For, Love.'

Oh this episode will go down as one of my favorites for many, many, many reasons that I will explain later. I decided to do this review different only do to this episode being filled with such goodness nearly every scene. This is a complete scandal episode review from every scene that I loved.

We start this episode off at the Republican National Convention where Mellie is giving her speech about women having a seat at the table that was once exclusive for men only. The speech makes an impression on everyone but more so Marcus who is moved to tears by Mellie's speech....* sips tea* Marcus looking at Mellie the same way Olivia looked at Fitz when he publicly declared:

-Uh, I miss my babies when their only troubles was that he was the President.

Mellie celebrates her victory and thanks everyone for all their help but as Olivia is barking orders, Marcus isn't paying her any attention but instead Marcus lingers around and whispers in Mellie's ear "told you so." A spark is ignited and Olivia caught it right away warning Mellie once Marcus left.

"Mellie be careful with Marcus, I see the way he looks at you."

Mellie is excited about Marcus better yet anyone looking at her that she's blushing and wanting to know in detail just how he's looking at her but Olivia nips that quickly reprimanding Mellie.

"Senator, he's young, he admires you, he works for you. Don't."

It's the "Senator" that gets me. As we all know when Olivia is looking to distant personal life from professional life she will constantly redirect by using their title "Governor Grant, Mr. President, Attorney General, etc." Mellie is know different.

Olivia is watching her life being played out right in front of her with Mellie and Marcus and the sight is unnerving for many reasons which is why she tells Mellie to leave Marcus alone. Because Olivia too was young and she admired and fell in love with the President that she worked for. Olivia has seen this story but this time she wants a different ending.

There is a flashback to the night of President Elect Vargas murder which actually gives good details once you've seen the episode.

Once again Olivia is back at the White House trying to get Fitz to investigate Cyrus for being at fault for killing Vargas but the entire time Olivia is rambling and arguing with David and Abby he's just sitting their watching her cause he knows baby girl is on a witch hunt and it's just best to let Olivia get her crazy out, but she doesn't let up when Fitz told her he already had the FBI look into it causing Olivia to refer to them as "scrubs"

Now, who is in the FBI and what has the FBI done to Olivia to make her recoil and through such shady shade. And just like that we find out when Broad/Emily walks in with her natural hair and melatonin popping.

DAMN! The look Olivia gave Fitz when she heard broad's voice... oh shit! Now, I am more curious as to whether Olivia has ever discussed "Angela" with Fitz cause the look she gave Fitz seems to tell me that Fitz might be aware of their past and oh do believe these two successful black women have a past. But Broad walks in throwing equal shade at Olivia and not giving a shit that the President is in the room, but Olivia once again "attempting" to separate her personal life from her professional calls the Broad "Ms.Webster." but she just responds with "Olivia"

Now, this woman hasn't been in the damn oval for a hot minute and her ass is throwing some serious shade, she needs check herself before Olivia Fucks her up. Olivia mockingly tells Angela that she means no offense "obviously" but ole broad ain't with that fakeness and calls Olivia out.

If looks could kill, this girl would be eight feet under and Olivia would still be bashing her with a chair until she was another six feet more. I know she has dealt with Olivia before but she hasn't dealt with this Olivia- this Olivia is a b613 thug, she killed the Vice President. The tension in the room is felt by everyone but Fitz moves past is, asking Angela who is the director of the FBI have they found any substantial evidence pointing at Cyrus and the SECOND she moves closer to Fitz, Olivia subtly blocks her path to him. Sorry, Ma’am thats as close as you will be getting to my boo boo.

YESS! I love a petty and jealous Olivia. Angela/ Emily/ broad just doesn't know how crazy and low Olivia will stoop when she feels someone is trying to take something or someone that belongs to her. But, wait a minute...I thought she was over Fitz. Anyways, Olivia and Fitz are arguing in front of everybody and I have this distinct feeling that Olivia relished having Angela in the audience with a front row seat at the 'Olitz Chronicles' but I caught Angela's eye pop out when Fitz mention the house in the woods blowing up... uh oh, besides Olivia and Fitz's entanglement it seems Angela is connecting the dots quickly. Fitz moves in very close to Olivia and tells her that the election is over and that she needs to let it go. Olivia is down right appalled that Fitz is letting this go but Abby knows this won't stop Olivia if anything it will encourage her to keep going which she tells Fitz who orders her to get him a confession so that they can move on because Vargas funeral os tomorrow.

Olivia isn't ready to move on and she most certainly will not back down. The question I have for Olivia is what are you fighting for- are you fighting for your life that you desperately want back or are you fighting for power or maybe both. I think time will answer this question for us.

Ex- Lady gang

My, my, my these two have gotten close and I mean like best friend kind of close with both of them bashing their same ex husband. Olivia and Mellie are on the phone talking about that bastard Fitz who's giving Cyrus the oval. Olivia has found a companion in Mellie where they bash the men they love and share a glass of wine but Mellie doesn't let it take first place in her life because when Fitz said Teddy was asking for her, she stopped what she was doing and went to see her son.

Sike! It wasn't Teddy but Fitz tricking Mellie and Cyrus, telling them to come up with a plan save America. Boy, I love me some Presidential Fitz. Cyrus tells Mellie to become his Vice President but Mellie goes on her tirade about being "equipped" and that she's "experienced" ....Mellie needs to go to sleep with all that foolish cause she is not qualified nor was she a suitable candidate either with her 1.2 months of governmental experience...Mellie, kick rocks! Cyrus tells Mellie that he's innocent this time and that's he's not the bad guy in this situation; Olivia is. But Mellie isn't with that and turns down Cyrus rejection cause she knows Olivia is the good guy and she already paid her members fee to the group.

Mellie and Marcus

Abby

Abby summons Jake and the first thing he brings up is that he 'hears' Olivia is on a war path for the body in the cabin... hoe, how you know this. Abby being a big red dog wants this case closed down so she hires joke to handle it for her. Because she knows Jake doesn’t want Mellie to win. Ugh, Abby. I thought you learned by now not to cross Olivia and then you help the command fam by getting a written confession by the hands of Jake. I see you Abby and I am not impressed with this constant need to flex your power because you know in a matter of months you will be once again powerless.

Marcus catches Mellie in the White House and runs to see if she's okay. Wow. We get it Shonda, Mellie and Marcus are paralleling Olivia and Fitz’s relationship. How Fitz would run to Olivia to see if she was okay and that he missed her. (2X08) Mellie tells Marcus not to pretend that he cares for her when he is just like every man she has ever loved, they never chose her. Now, Mellie is right though. Fitz never chose Mellie and Andrew most certainly didn’t either so when it comes to the love department Mellie is constantly looking for someone who will love her and choose her. To be honest, I actually feel and understand because Mellie is like all of us looking and wanting a love that can be life changing so I understand her quest for something real when all her life she has believed that pretending is real.

Olivia needing the footage and information from the FBI decides to have dinner with her old school nemesis Ms. Webster. The two congratulate one another on being mature adults now...* sips tea* yeah these two probably went to school together and constantly competed against each other. Olivia and Angela bond and share stories about what it means to be a successful and powerful black women and for that I salute Shonda and I also agree with their relationship as it is a constant in most black Women's lives. Instead of us seeing another black women as our sister or ally we see them as our enemy whose trying to take something from us. Yas, Shonda ; I see you and I hear you, sistah.

picture: @emilythornes

Olivia makes a simple comment about the President being lucky to have her and much to her surprise, Angela immediately starts blushing causing Olivia's head to jump up and look at her with a pointed expression. Olivia doesn't keep this knowledge to herself but quickly exclaims "oh" because she's at a lost that Angela has a thing for her man. Angela down plays her attraction for Fitz saying "she would never, they go way back." And all Olivia can do is chuckle because she knows Angela and knows that Angela is after her man after all he is "attractive, magnetic, charismatic." You know what, for a guy Olivia doesn't love and is completely over she used quiet a bit of adjectives to describe Fitz, and Angela agreed that Fitz is all those things but she would never do that to Olivia. And for the first time since the dinner Olivia lets out a sigh of relief that Angela isn't after Fitz with an eased "okay" but then Angela said "unless you give me the green light"

picture:@emilythornes

Can we take a moment to appreciate the gift that is a petty and jealous Olivia Pope. She is the gift that just keeps on giving. Broad is playing with fire and she wants Olivia to give her the green light so she could date her ex boyfriend who just so happens to be the most powerful man in the world and the same man Olivia is still very much hung up on... Olivia ain't going to give you no green light so you can walk away with her prize, nope. Olivia is going to you a black eye instead of a green light; ok Ms. Thang. I love this entire dialogue and undertone of this scene because it says so much without giving much away. Angela, asked Olivia if she has feelings for him or anything but instead of answering Olivia agrees that Angela should ask Fitz out, especially "if he says yes, then of course." Olivia being extra shady and petty with that jab because Olivia doesn't think Fitz would go out on a date with Angela. I'm not sure why Olivia would think that Fitz would declining Angela's offer, maybe Fitz is aware of their past or maybe she feels that Fitz isn't into black women but either way Olivia does a good job at pretending and selling Fitz to Angela a with plastered fake "great" smile.

What the hell is Olivia doing. Olivia is playing with fire, she came to this dinner hoping to get something out of it and she did but she never counted on Angela getting something in return. Instead of walking away from the dinner feeling victorious, you can see Olivia regretting her decision to have dinner in the first place because nothing is going as she planned and hoped for. Makes you wonder why the hell this is all for. Be careful what you wish for, Olivia. Olivia is thinking she is handling and shutting down this case but the only thing she is doing is opening the door for more people to enter. Man, I am completely happy and pleased with Angela’s involvement in this storyline cause Olivia needs to gain some perspective.

I love the contrast between Angela and Olivia. Angela is wearing black and white. Olivia is wearing all black. And my friend Jane mentioned Angela drinks white wine and Olivia drinks red. Completely opposite people with similar goals and wants. I am here for this development.

Abby is really flexing that power with her red jacket, she sitting in the chair at the FBI like she's running the place, and well... she is. Abby was able to stop the director of the FBI from entering the interrogation room. SHIT. Talk about a blow to the ego and the gut. Nothing shocking but Jake walks out with a signed confession. Yawns. Fast Forward. Cause ain't nothing scary about labia lips.

Louise has finally joined Thelma at their headquarters where Olivia is finally able to have a glass of wine with her friend but Olivia isn't really into drinking right now nor is she interested in talking about election. Their are more pressing matters to discuss like how Broad is trying to get into their gang and steal their prized boo. I love that it is clearly troubling Olivia that Angela is wanting to make an attempt at Fitz. Now, Let’s be clear. Fitz is the only man that Olivia has ever truly chosen and loved without being influenced by outside forces. Olivia and Olivia only choose Fitz. This moment is distressing for Olivia considering that Angela is equally accomplished and beautiful and worse of all she very well might have it all if she gets Fitz. But before Olivia could even begin to talk here comes meek David.

Shonda is testing me. Why is she bringing David's ass to OPA to ruin what would have been an excellent moment for Olivia to talk about her feelings and the past. Sigh. David comes to OPA crying about the republic, blah, blah, blah.

Olivia goes to the White House to see Fitz but Big Red has that door locked and she's not for Olivia coming in and killing her vibe. And actually uses Olivia's own words against her.

Boom.

Marlie and Me

Mellie calls Marcus and tells him about Cyrus wanting her to be his VP and basically asking for advice on what to do. Once again we get the parrels to Olivia and Fitz's relationship and their dynamic, even to this day Fitz still wants Olivia's help, he even asked Olivia what to do with the presidency which he threw in her face- not cool by the way but still these two people have such a foundation with one another that it's almost second nature to seek their counsel. Before hanging up, Marcus tells Mellie that he would choose her but she just has to choose him. Aww.But still. Fast Forward.

We flash back to the campaign and the Ex-lady gang is sitting on the couch plotting together until Olivia looks at Mellie's blissful gaze and she knows what better yet who Mellie has done because their was a time when Olivia too had that same look. Mellie describes her moment with Marcus as a catharsis, how she's been reborn under his magical touch because she sees now how beautiful and bright life is after living in the dark for so long. Mellie is a believer. And the thing she believes in, is love.

There is no mistaking how the screen pans to Olivia's saddened face at the mention of love. Love is the one thing Olivia wants desperately yet she denies herself the privileged of knowing what love feels like. Instead of relishing in the warmth of love, Olivia feels compelled to run from it and go back to safety and anonymity of the dark. Mellie, tells Olivia that she has gone so long without love that she misses it. And it's painfully clear that Olivia too misses the comfort familiarity of love. I've said it before and I'll say it again. When Olivia finally decided to embrace her relationship with Fitz and to feel the warmth of his love on her skin, it changed her. So when Mellie asked Olivia.

picture @dontfrget

"Is this what you felt with Fitz? Because if it is. I understand. You should have It. I should have it. Everybody should have it. It's happiness. I'm happy"

This statement is completely underrated. Mellie is telling Olivia that if she loved Fitz then she should never deprieve herself of the fulfillment that comes with love. The heart hungers for affection and as humans we suffer enough as it is, why must we add to our suffering when we can be happy. For years Mellie has degraded and cheapened Olivia and FItz's love often referencing to it as tawdry affair but now Mellie is able to sympathize with Olivia in a way she never has before. She sees now. Mellie has now given Olivia her blessings to be with Fitz if he makes her happy. The beauty of this dialougue is that Mellie doesn't shy away from love but she welcomes it with open arms, open legs and with an open mouth. Mellie is in love and she's not afraid of it which is the exact opposite of Olivia who had love but ran from it. Olivia tells Mellie she's happy for her but the look in her eyes tells a different story.

Olivia has lost too much and she can't bear to lose her closest friend now. Everyone is growing up and moving on with their lives except Olivia. Mellie's bad habits mirrored Olivia's where Olivia felt half way decent about herself because Mellie never required her to look at herself in the mirror and fix herself but now with Mellie seeing baby Jesus and the light, Olivia would be losing her too which would leave Olivia completely and totally alone. The idea isn't pleasing to Olivia and so she does what she does best, she fixes the problem. She plants a story in Mellie's head about Marcus using her to advance his career and that he has been in scandals, etc. But Mellie doesn't fall for the bait, she's seen the light.

Abby needing to one up Olivia and keep her power goes to Mellie's office and tells her that the reason Marcus got the job at the White House was because Olivia wanted to break them up. They flash back to the campaign, Olivia tells Abby that she needs for her to give Marcus a job because he has something going on with Mellie and she can tell that it is more than just a fling. Abby remarks that Olivia wants her to break them up the same way she broke up her and David. Yes. Abby! Someone needs to remind Olivia that she is playing with peoples lives and relationships and she doesn't get to say who stays together and who breaks up just because she wasn't brave enough to fight for her own relationship.

Upset and rightfully so, Mellie walks up to Olivia’s apartment and ask her if she gave Marcus the Press Secretary job and Olivia's response was all Mellie needed to know. She's completely shocked that Olivia would stoop this low, especially after everything they have been through. Mellie can't believe that Olivia is the one person that has successfully destroyed every relationship that she has ever had. Mellie asked the question we are all dying to know "why are you doing this?" "What is wrong with You?" The answer is quite complex; Olivia destroyed Mellie and Marcus's relationship because misery loves company and Mellie leaving her would require Olivia to look at herself and her actions , and that is not something Olivia wishes to do. But also I think when Olivia looks at Mellie and Marcus she sees her and Fitz and what they were like when they first met and fell in love. Olivia was trying to change history and erase her memories of her and Fitz had someone interfered with their relationship and broke them up. Like Olivia said in 5X03:

"If I never laid eyes on him then I wouldn’t have fallen in love and he wouldn’t have fallen in love. That may have made for two more lonely people in the world, but also a lot less pain and heart ache...is the coming of two people worth all this destruction, all this attention. If it was a choice who would choose this kind of love. So I wish we never met. But we did. And I tried and failed and tried again and failed, to hide, to stop loving him but I couldn’t, I was weak.- Olivia Pope

Part of me feels like Olivia was trying to see through Mellie what life would have been like had she stuck to her plan and not been weak and fallen in love. Olivia probably feels she was sparing Mellie the pain but the thing about it is, that Mellie wants to feel and she's not afraid of it but welcomes the sensation. Rowan controls Olivia's relationship but that doesn't give Olivia the right to control everyone else's. Olivia echoes commands words when making her point about how Marcus would have caused a scandal and is a political nightmare but more than that; Mellie doesn't get to have both.

You get to be powerful, you get to change the world. You don’t get to be vulnerable, or weak, or compromised in any way, by any one. You said you wanted the oval, Mellie, and it was my job to get it for you. There are sacrifices.

Mellie doesn't get to have love, and be 'weak, vulnerable and compromised. Mellie gets to be 'powerful, and change the world.' Mellie can't have both and she can't see that, the same way Olivia couldn't either so Olivia made a call to steer them in the right direction. Granted, this is Olivia’s own feelings about the impossibility of having it all. Mellie rightfully pissed off tells Olivia that she's going to take Cyrus's offer to be Vice President now that they are over and wishes Olivia good luck getting back into the White House, because without Mellie, Olivia is all alone.

Now that's what I call a read. Ironic, that Olivia tried desepareatly to keep Mellie and she still ended up leaving her. Olivia's nightmare came true she's all alone now with no choice but to look at herself.

Dejected and depleted Olivia goes to OPA where she tells Quinn and Huck to wrap up this case because they no longer have a candidate. This conversation quickly turns to Quinn’s looming engagement where Olivia very obviously projects and stresses to Quinn that she should get married because:

"He somehow loves you and you somehow love him. And you're looking for excuses because you are scared. What is stopping you from accepting something some people never have? What? Share. your. life. because you're not tethered to power, because you live below the radar, because you are free from it, because you can. You are being offered normal, maybe even happy.The fact that you are questioning whether you should take them , frankly is annoying... Live, you get to live and love and be happy. Do you know what some people would give for it."

Quinn concedes and Olivia feels slightly better now that she has steered Quinn in the right direction.

The scene picks up with Frank Vargas funeral. Touching scene with Marvin singing in the back how the good die young, fitting scene but a somber one considering Frankie would have down this fictional realm some good.

Mellie walks into Oval but is stopped by Charlotte saying that President Grant is in a meeting . Both Mellie and Olivia are adjusting to having boundaries in the White House that they both once ruled. Mellie walks into the oval and waits for Marcus to show up and he does but Mellie isn't there.

Instead Mellie returns to Olivia and ask Olivia "did it hurt this bad when you left Fitz?" After a long pause Olivia finally answers "yes" handing Mellie a glass of red wine. The two sit down on the sofa but Mellie is looking at Olivia and you can tell that she knows something is wrong with Olivia but once again we are interrupted with Huck this time.

Here's the thing. Mellie and Marcus are not Olivia and Fitz, not even close. But for years Mellie has wanted answers, as to why her white, successful, powerful husband would chose a black women over her. Mellie has tried to make sense of their relationship and has asked Fitz before what it felt like to be so hot for someone that you could barely breath. Mellie has cheapened their relationship every chance she got but it's only now after experiencing something that feels real with Marcus that she sympathizes for olitz and their forbidden quest of being together. Finally, Mellie understands why once you go black you never go back. So throughout the episode, Mellie would asked Olivia, is this what she felt because she needs confirmation that if she feels this way for Marcus then she can only imagine what Olivia felt for Fitz. Mellie is desperate for love and honestly I want her to have it because like she said, everyone deserves it.

Olivia spots Fitz on the Truman Balcony and with a deep breath she walks out to face him, only this time he's not alone.

Fitz has taken Broad to the Truman Balcony where Olivia declared her love for him. This sacred monument has been tarnished, and Olivia feels the weight of this betrayal though it isn’t really.

picture: @dontfrget

I can't . This hurts my heart and though I enjoy watching Olivia squirm and hear the ticking of the clock. This has to be a mighty fall and bruise to her ego especially when she told Angela to "go for it" if he says yes. Olivia, never expected Fitz to actually say yes. Granted, we don't' why Angela is there but from the looks of It, Fitz and Angela are looking pretty close. When Olivia saw them together I love that Olivia pulls her cape tighter around her chest in hopes of shielding herself from the visceral stab to her heart at the sight of the man she loves moving on with his life without her. And I peeped those dark green purse and gloves, Olivia is rocking with that envious face.

picture: @dontfrget

Olivia is mad as hell and disgusted by what she just saw. Olivia is literally seething with such hidden jealously and anger. Olivia Pope is ticking. And when she turned her eyes on Angela, boy oh boy. Angela, please believe me when I tell you that you are in danger. If Angela thinks Olivia is going to step aside and let her walk away with the only man she has ever loved then she has another thing coming. Better yet the fact that Olivia has access to Fitz's private chambers and is allowed to come and go as she pleases should speak volumes. When it comes to Fitzgerald Grant, Olivia Pope will always find her way to get close to him somehow. Watch out people, Olivia is out and she’s not going to be backing down.

The video Olivia hands Fitz, is of Frankie yelling at Cyrus and vowing that he would remove him from his ticket and that over his dead body will he allow Cyrus to be his Vice President. Now, this evidence still yet to be proven and I'm still not sold on Cyrus being the murderer but the play on words. Yikes.

After showing the video, Olivia gives Abby a knowing look. Yup, bow down big red cause Olivia Pope took you back to school. Olivia moves rather close to Fitz and asked him almost intimately whether they should call the Justice Department now, which causes Fitz to bark at Abby to call David.

Olivia after successfully stopping Angela's groove and having Fitz make Abby call the Attorney General to look into Cyrus as being a suspect.

She’s back bitches, and she came to slay.

Olivia Pope is getting into formation.

Side Note:

This episode exceeded my expectations tremendously, less plot and more character driven narratives are always my preference and this episode delivered on so many levels. BRAVO. BRAVO.

- and don't think I didn't peep olé dad on Olivia’s coffee table smiling at his 'ultimate predator'. You really are Rowan's child, Olivia. Do better.

-ready to get the backstory on Olivia and Angela’s relationship, and watching Olivia foil Angela’s plan.

-Me calling Angela ‘Emily’ is because of a story I’m writing that takes place in season 6 so you’ll hear that name from time to time for my own joy in pissing people off.

-But can we salute Olivia on this continued growth because she is seeing the error of her ways, and is trying to get her life back. She’s doing everything she can but I don’t believe Olivia has contemplated what life would be like post-Fitz.

Time is ticking. And just like Olivia and Fitz; Mellie and Marcus are far from over and I enjoy their relationship as it seems to correlate with Olivia’s own with Fitz.

Awesome episode, for me a thousand times better than the season premiere.

Until Next Time...

#scandal #Olitz #olivia pope #Fitzgerald Grant #olivia and fitz #jealousy #pettyolivia

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primadonnatartuffe · 7 years

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RYAN: *it's time to face the music... she said she'd talk to russet later, so here she is, later, dropping in at russet's place unannounced. maybe because she hopes she'll miss her to avoid doing this just a LITTLE bit longer... but ultimately she does want to, she's just scared. taking in a deep breath, she knocks on her sister's door.*

RUSSET: *No such luck Ryan, she happened to be home in her small little town house on her day off. She had been sipping tea and looking over her outline plan suggestions for the next Odimist fund raiser when she heard the knocking at her door. Mmm, it could be a few people really, but Russet had a bit of a hunch as she gets up from her table and goes to open the door.*

RUSSET: Oh hey =8I *She looks Ryan up and down.*

RYAN: hellooo... *says a little meekly and sheepishly* you busy?

RUSSET: Not really *She hesitates a moment before stepping aside.*

RUSSET: You wanna come in?

RYAN: yeah. *nods before she slowly starts to amble inside, looking around at the interior with interest and awe. russet must be doing well for herself...*

RYAN: i just wanted to... you know.

RYAN: follow up on what i said id do.

RYAN: and talk about... everything?

RUSSET: *Her etsy shop does do well to help fill out her bank account after her usual paychecks. Who knew so many people would want fridge cozies? The main room is rather minimalistic in design style, but just so you know her bathroom is space/galaxy themed.* Mm. Thats cool.

RUSSET: *Shuts the door behind the both of them.* I can reheat tea if you want any.

RYAN: yeah okay i could go for some tea i guess. *despite feeling antsy, she plops herself down on a couch or chair just so she's not standing around.*

RYAN: ... i like your place.

RUSSET: Thanks. *The couch is covered with pink and gray colored thick cableknit blankets, very soft and comfy. Russet briefly vanishes into the next room and a few minutes later she returns with two mugs, one being hers reheated, and another fresh cup for Ryan.*

RUSSET: *She wordlessly sets the mug in front of Ryan and then takes her on seat on the soft swivil chair to the right.*

RYAN: *by the time russet comes back, ryan is completely consumed by this fluffy cozy couch. but she can still reach out to grab her drink.* thaaanks...

RYAN: ...

RYAN: im not... super sure where to... start...

RUSSET: *She sighs over the top of her mug.* I guess I can start. Probably should say sorry for how I was being at the party. Wasn't really the place to hash this out anyways.

RYAN: *shrugs* i mean... its not unwarranted.

RYAN: i know it had to suck seeing me there before anything else.

RYAN: like not to throw a pity party for myself or nothing but i was just really stressed out about coming back.

RYAN: i thought if i just showed up at shindig itd be easier somehow? i guess i didnt expect to see you and finn AND jack all at the same time. the only thing that woulda made it more overwhelming was if dorian was there too. *wilts thinking about dorian... she really made an ass out of herself around him ages ago, and now he's nowhere to be found.*

RUSSET: *She too droops her shoulders at the mentions of Dorian. Why is their whole family troubled with disapearences?* Yeah well. You probably could have thought that through better yeah.

RUSSET: *Sips tea.* ...You said you're staying with dad?

RYAN: *nods slowly* yeah... i dont really know where else to go.

RUSSET: Im sure hes happy to have you around.

RYAN: ... i think hes still pissed at me. *sips also and keeps her mug close to her chest*

RUSSET: Well duh. A lot of people are gonna' be pissed. But even if he's mad hes got to be happy you're back home and safe and not gone with the wind.

RUSSET: Unless you plan to run away again. Not sure how well that might go over. *Sips at her.*

RYAN: *stares down at her mug* no...

RYAN: theres no point in me trying to leave again.

RYAN: there was no point to begin with.

RYAN: it was stupid...

RUSSET: Yeah. It was.

RUSSET: But you still did it.

RYAN: ... im sorry.

RUSSET: *She looks down into her cup, pulling her legs up into the chair with her so she can sit cross legged, and goes silent for several moments.* .............

RUSSET: Why did you do it?

RUSSET: Why did you run away again?

RYAN: i dont know i-- *draws in a sharp breath*

RYAN: it was so long ago now i barely even remember what was going through my head.

RYAN: of course i might remember it better if i hadnt completely fucking fried my brain lmao.

RYAN: *huffs another sigh* i just know i was like... overwhelmed...

RYAN: between jack and me... and with all my bullshit.

RYAN: i just know i wanted to hide from it.

RUSSET: *She listens, and tries to find ways to sympathize with Ryan. Her little sister did have a few problems, and Russet could wrap her mind around feeling overwhelmed by stuff, but running away for years? That was too much.*

RUSSET: You know there are other ways you could have handled it. Without ditching all of us.

RYAN: *eyes start watering. no... she's wearing mascara, she can't have this.* i know that... i know that /now./

RUSSET: *heavens not the mascara. See this is why Russet likes her circle shades, they do well to hide too much emotion.*

RUSSET: I guess at least you learned that much. *Produces a napkin and holds it out to Ryan.*

RYAN: *takes it* ... yeah. *she learned plenty more than that, but she doesn't want to make it seem like she's fishing for sympathy. she doesn't deserve that. she just tries to think of ways to update russet without it coming off that way.*

RYAN: i got into a lot of shit.

RYAN: i made a lot of mistakes.

RYAN: i had to go to rehab. *shrugs*

RYAN: thats why i came back.

RUSSET: Wait... What?? *Sits up more in her chair, frowning pretty harshly.*

RUSSET: Rehab?

RYAN: ... yeah. *dabs at her eyes with the napkin* i got really fucked up and this girl i was seeing made me go.

RYAN: and then she you know broke up with me.

RYAN: but again i dont blame her.

RUSSET: Thats...

RUSSET: Mm. Wow. Sorry I'm trying to like.

RUSSET: Form the right words to respond to that.

RUSSET: ......Thats rough, Ryan.

RUSSET: *Nailed it.*

RYAN: *shrugs* you dont have to say anything its fine. it is what it is.

RUSSET: Yeaaahhh but its still shitty. I mean, I'm mad at you but still thats difficult to go through.

RUSSET: Does your mom know?

RYAN: *nods slowly* yeah... i told her and dad first.

RUSSET: Thats good. I'm glad you told them.

RYAN: kinda have to tell people. you know... to reconcile and all that?? its all part of the program.

RYAN: but i want to anyway.

RUSSET: Oh. Well thats better then just coming back to complete the program.

RUSSET: .......I'm glad youre back. Even if it doesn't seem like it.

RYAN: *hearing that makes her eyes water more and her voice squeaks a little when she speaks* cool. yeah...

RYAN: im glad im back too.

RYAN: and i really...

RYAN: i really am... really sorry.

RUSSET: *Ryan you better not start crying, gdi. Russet is too much of a bleeding heart for this.* Thanks. I believe it.

RUSSET: I um... I dont know how long I'm going to be mad at you about this. I forgive you but also dont at the same time its really confusing. And its hard not to still feel hurt because until now I didn't have any idea why you ran away, and I didn't get to think about it too much because I felt like I had to pick up the pieces of everyone else, so I'm kind of bitter? *Says it like a question, shes figuring it out as she goes and just holds her mug closer to herself to feed off the warmth.*

RUSSET: I want us to be okay again, eventually. Because I thought we were getting to some sort of level of okay with each other until you ran off.

RYAN: yeah... i know i fucked it all up. *she's crying, she can't stop it now. she's bottled it up too long, and if there's one person she really feels guilty about, it's russet, for all the reasons she just mentioned.*

RYAN: i wanted things to get better... i was just--

RYAN: fuck...

RYAN: im just so sorry. i dont wanna be dumb or petty or awkward anymore.

RYAN: i missed you... i missed you nagging at me and i missed your cute little craft things and all your motherly lil habits.

RYAN: i didnt realize how much i needed people like that in my life to keep me grounded.

RUSSET: *Well heck. Shes turning a little orange now, a combination about Ryan saying all these nice things about her meddling, and then there is the whole choking back emotion because if Ryan is crying shes NOT going to cry. Because if they both start bawling it will never stop she knows it.*

RUSSET: Well shit. =B'I

RYAN: *wheezes out a watery laugh at that response.* i know... damn... really unexpected hearing ryan get all sappy.

RUSSET: *Nods and sniffles just a little.* It is. I think someone might have to pinch me to make sure this is real.

RYAN: would... a hug work?

RUSSET: *She thinks about it and then places her mug on the glass coffee table before opening her arms wide.*

RUSSET: Yes. =B''T

RYAN: *HHH she puts her mug down as well, wiggling out of this couch and then shuffling over to fit into her big sister's arms.*

RUSSET: *Wraps her arms around Ryan and gives her a big squeeze. This hug is pouring in the warmth and love of all the hugs she hasnt been able to give Ryan in years. Enjoy Russet's watery, emotional, bug chirps in your ear because its too much!!.*

RYAN: *the chirps are a comfort and she responds with more soft giggles. she sighs, relaxing into the hug and letting the warmth comfort her and convince her that things might finally start to be alright...*

RYAN: is it okay if i hang out here for a lil while...?

RUSSET: *She nods into Ryan's shoulder.* Mhm. I'm not doing anything today.

RYAN: okay cool cuz im gonna impose like hell for as long as i can get away with it. *pulls away, smiling softly as she flops back onto the couch*

RUSSET: *When she and Ryan part Russet breifly sneaks a finger under her glasses to wipe at her misty eyes.* Fine by me. But you shouldnt stay too long past dark unless you are getting a ride somewhere.

RYAN: *she's gotta dab at her eyes some more too...* yeah okay that can be arranged. *AND SO she gets settled in, drinking tea and catching up on some of the more positive things that have happened.*

#lagomorphUnion #in which sisters reunite

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survivormarmoreal · 5 years

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Episode #4: "I made James quit accidentally because I rigged a random.org" - Brian

So.... BC quit. Don't know why (and I am not gonna enquire, I just know he is hella busy). But ya I don't know what this means going forward but im gonna roll with it. If i'm not flexible, then that is not a good winner. so ya looking forward toi see whatever happens, and if Madigan go to tribal again, all i know is that i will still be safe cause james and I will just get Keaton involved

I’m SHOCKED BC quit because I thought I was going home lmao so now I have no idea what the hell is gonna happen I’m praying we swap tbh so I can meet up with Brian or Bryce who I know sbsbsbs.

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Okay I'm super sad BC quit. They seemed like such a sweetheart. And I always hate to see anybody quit. I'm usually kind of annoyed about quitters but I hope BC is all good and it was just because they were busy... :(

This game has been really good to our tribe. We havent gone to tribal. I have a majority alliance of 4. Everyone is active and does 100% on the challenges. Its been good. Havent had much luck in idol hunt tho so probably someone already found it. Still nervous for the challenge. I want to keep winning but the bad thing in the eyes for the other tribe.

The game is always changing... and someone quitting just shows how quickly everything can change in the game. Plans set forward destroyed... alliances ruined just due to what the game might throw at you at any given time. It’s always scary but you know what... sometimes you gotta look at something bad and say hey let’s test my gameplay a little bit... that is what I’m good at and that is what I plan to do!

So we have swapped. and im not with james. This is hateful huh. first bc quitting today and now this. fuck this. and im with marie and keaton as well. ffs. oh well. time to get socialising and do this shit!

I KNEW A SWAP WAS COMING!!! I felt it deep in my bones. Do sharks have bones? I actually don't think they do. Oh well. I KNEW IT WAS HAPPENING. Obviously I'm super nervous now because I was in a great spot before. But luckily I still have my #1 Brian. And Charlie who is a part of my Four of a Kind alliance and he has an idol. Plus Anna and I hopefully can work together like we have in other games. I just hope she trusts me. Ugh and I freaking hope we win this challenge. Because OG Dinah members definitely have a target as the last intact tribe. SO much is going on in my little gay brain.

Okay my brain is going a mile a minute with this swap. I'm reconnecting with Anna. She seems excited to see me and she told me she isn't super close with Jayden or Nick so that's amazing. I told Brian about Charlie's idol. So this is good. We're surviving.

omg so we swapped and im so sad nathan isnt here but thats about it. happy to be away from jayden since he IGNORES me. when i read these after the game im gonna seem so obsessed huh KJDFSHFAKSJD. but anyway. dennis is here and hes one of my fave ppl ever! hes just so nice. we shared idol guesses and i really wanna go to the end with him. matt is pretty cool and we both stan the good place and naomi smalls so i feel like we'll be good allies. marie is a queen and super nice but maybe not super active but we both love ari so yay. naptime maynor isnt really liking my humor JKASDHF but thats ok. and kirby guy is alright too!! nicole seems nice enough if not a little standoffish but hoping for the best :s love this tribe overrall tho and really hoping to avoid tribal

I got ZType for the duels! Blessed. I can do well in this game and I can't be the reason our tribe loses in the RARE chance we do. So i'm feeling okay.

Too annoyed to write too much right now. But yet another org, and yet another swap fuck! Honestly, this is ridiculous. We have three members on either 7 person tribe, and even if we do manage to succeed in surviving another non-dinah is going to replace the voted out member... you can't make this shit up.

I knew the swap was coming. But im with Dennis which is good. He has some connections with Bryce and Nicole so hopefully they work with us. Keaton is also here like oh Boi. 👀 going to see if he wants to work with me this time. Having him around could help me in this game.

James quits by leaving the server and ignoring everyone.

https://gph.is/1neigCU my mood at my initial alliance members both qutiing time to die?

Ok so Klick quit which is kinda upsetting cuz I was grinding tf outta that challenge and I lowkey played a game with him about a year and a half ago and kinda wanted to reconnect. BUT Nathan is now on the tribe which is like the nest possible scenario. Also we have Anna so hopefully we have an easy majority. Also I assume Dennis has began running the game over on the other tribe because he is great and will probably end up voting me out at f9 or something. But YAY F14 IM NOT OUT YET ANSNSKDKLZLXKC

MY IMPACT? I made James quit accidentally because I rigged a random.org to save Charlie from doing Multitask and then James had a fit because he got it and was sleeping so he couldn't pick... I... can't believe how I'm WINNING this game? Anna, I hope you get my winner's crown READY because I'm doing the damn thing! I am sorry I made him quit because I didn't think he would kjHDAJK... but wow...

Although I am in the minority right now based on tribal lines, Nathan is someone I've wanted to work with for like eons, and I feel so much more comfortable with him on my tribe than James and letting Annabelle hold my fate in her hands. I think I have an upward battle, but I know Charlie has the idol and will warn Sharky in the case I need Charlie to use it on himself. The two from my OG tribe I got stuck with is by far the only two from Dinah that I would go out of my way to protect in this game and knowing Charlie has the idol... ugh... I don't even have to DO anything and tea gets served to me. Love Sharky.. love Charlie.. love Nathan... can't wait to thrive in this game now!

So the swap, i thought would have been really bad for us original dinah people but so far it looks like we might pull through. Nicole told by Dennis to me that she is willing to work with us but im a little sketch because she hasnt really responds to me exept like one message and then it stops. Im trying to get info from keaton and see if he wants to work with me. I have to keep an eye on him cuz he’s messy af. 👀 I think we could be a strong tribe so hopefully we win the next immunity. I rather have my no going to tribal streak going. I need to start talking to our new tribe members as well.

well james left so we got nathan i'm not upset about it i love nathan he's my person this game i think and we swapped with sharky on the tribe and i just played with sharky and we're in majority so things are really looking up here for me tbvh i feel like sharky might want to get rid of one of my OG tribe people but we'll see how it goes.

This game is weird man. I was so ready to play 2048, but Kirby Boi #2 was a quitter, so now I'm not playing 2048, both people I trusted QUIT, and Dennis is on my tribe. I am going to lose really soon. But hopefully I can find an in on my tribe and survive.

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i just want an advantage. but oh so now 4/5 of my tribe is together and im just here.. love that! not sarcastic!! miss nathan tho! so far clicking with dennis still and naptime. hes a true carly rae jepsen fan i asked his fave and he said sour candy which is like (bad) but not well known so he must actually like her!! nicole left me on read.. love that! sarcastic!! and yaa wooh loving the new tribe that guy who quit bc of multitask kind of a flop but go off now im closer to merge!

This morning finding out that James was removed was suprising. It sucks cuz i was enjoying doing the ztype. I got to 7,100 which i think its good but idk if it actually was. But im ready for this challenge and hopefully we could win in it. Definately dont want to go to tribal.

Okay Nathan is AMAZING. I love him. And I'm totally going to work with him for sure. i'm so glad he didn't flop. And Honestly I'm glad James quit so that I could work with Nathan. This lip sync challenge is going to be silly. I offered to do the editing which honestly is a big undertaking but I like to be in control and It's definitely going to paint a target on my back but if we win it'll be so great.

OMG SO FUN CHALLENGE THAT I HATE WOOH. i love this but i hate it. idk. i REALLY dont want to do a queen song so i pretended to not know who they are NNN but all that caused was my tribemates shading me... and its like... matt says beyonce is just "ok" and i need to listen to real music.??? just say u hate women and go. JK. maybe. but ANYWAYS. love dennis still and naptime is so funny love his pins! nicole left me on read some more so i sent her demi lovatos GET BACK music video and she finally responded with two 5 word msgs and ghosted again so um really loving that! kirby guy also doesnt reply a lot but thats ok totally loving only talking to 4 ppl!

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edit: quitters are shitters

Our song is Dont stop me now by queen which is awesome. I just need to find the time to work on it later today or tomorrow morning but have an idea what imma do so thats good. Still talking to keaton but no game talk it. Hopefully soon because im still feeling sketch on this tribe. I dont wanna get voted out pre-merge. *knocks on wood* ✊🌳

Making the video was really fun. Had more fun and felt more comfortable after making the ones before were i wasnt as comfortable. This is one of my fav comps now. Cant wait to see how it turns out.

UM?? I'm CACKLING?? So Sharky showed me the clips he got from Nick and Jayden, and I'm just so confused how straight men get any sort of action when they're as stiff as them? I mean I guess they're not ugly so that probably helps, but neither of them are good at using a camera... So I'm just SO ...

I have nothing else to talk about other than how fucking STIFF the straight men are in their lip sync videos, so whew... love visibility…

worst comp for me ever like i was fine doing 2048 i could have probably helped with that but like a music video? YIKES that's not my thing at all i didn't know what to do or what to help especially since i'm so not gonna get on camera >.< i hate being useless if we lose like ugh lmfao

Okay so this challenge was...a disaster. I asked everyone to just do the song and then I'd make it look good with editing. That didn't work out. And I had more trouble editing than i thought. I feel like I dropped the ball and I'm not sued to being someone holding my tribe back. I tried to hide our bad lipsyncers. Charlie got sick. And something happened in the rush of uploading it that gave me a weird crop and a couple of cuts that I screwed up but I ran out of time. I'm feeling really disappointed in myself.

Okay we lost. This sucks. two of the judges called out the edit/effort specifically so that doesn't feel great. But I'm going to look at this as a positive. Maynor and Dennis stay safe on the other tribe. And Now I can use this to make some real connections and alliances on this tribe. Like Chad Michaels I will rise from the ashes and be the gayest winningest phoenix you have ever seen.

Ok so me Nathan and Nick should really stick with Annabelle. Easy majority makes easy game which makes happy Jayden

So we lost the challenge, but I don't feel too... bad about that. I mean if I go home, clearly I fucked the fuck up and felt too confident... but I think that I feel... good?

Firstly, thank you to the judges for recognizing my SNAP in the lip sync. I wasn't sure they were going to do my rap in the challenge, so I'm glad it was in there hehe... Now... going to tribal is a part of the game and the strategy has been lacking up till now, so I'm excited to jump in and finally explore that part of the game. It'll be a nice start to my resume, following accidentally make James quit LMFAO.

Right now, I think I'm in a solid spot. Nick said he wouldn't vote for me and I mean.. we haven't talked much, but I expect him to not lie for no reason... and I'm going to make sure to increase our conversation and expand on what HE wants to happen to just have that tea under my belt. I think Jayden is who I would like gone, and I think I'd be able to gather the votes to get that to happen. It's not like I have anything against him personally, but I just feel it's hardest to talk to him because him and I are not alike from what I've gathered. I'm the uber gay and for the uber gay and the Travis Scott fanboy to get along? Would be shocking.

I like Annabelle and Nathan a lot and I don't think they'd throw votes for me. I have my little final 2 deal going on with Nathan, but highkey I don't think I'd keep him as my #1 over Marie, if I get to the point where I meet with her, so I have no problem cutting him or Annabelle in the future. I do think it'd be better to work WITH them, especially for now, and I think they feel similar sentiments, but I don't know for sure!

But now we come to the real people I would like to protect going into this vote, Charlie and Sharky. I love my OG Dinah babies so much, and I will make sure their names aren't the targets of this vote. I think Sharky has set himself up well, and since he told me Charlie has the idol, I think we should especially be OK. I also think Annabelle and Nathan seemingly want to work with us, so .... whew...

ALSO, this is a mid-confessional update, but 2 alliances were formed. We have the "Tea Party" alliance with Sharky, me, and Nathan (the gays) and then the "Dinah Dudes" alliance with Charlie, Sharky, and me (OG Dinah's) and then I think another sub-alliance with the "Tea Party" and Annabelle is coming to fruition, so kjHDKAS... ya... I think I'm SET. I can't wait to wreck shit!

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So we swapped tribes and here I am with 3 from my original tribe, 3 from the other tribe and Bryce from the third tribe. Bryce and I know each other, and by that I mean I just blindsided him another org... oops! Hopefully he doesn’t come after me but who knows because I literally did not participate in this challenge at all! We still won though so hopefully I’ll get to redeem myself in the next one

My arms are SORE from pulling all my best Freddie Mercury moves out for this lip sync, I am SO tired. But I honestly am so glad i gave my 100% effort because I truly needed to pull through for this tribe and show them I’m not just a sitting duck. (Is that the term? Idk.)

Either way I’m glad we all got to bond through this and here’s to being safe ANOTHER round (I’ve never gone to tribal so wooooo!)

i want an IDOL or sth. but um dennis is so fun love that man. always asks daily to work with me. like idk how many times i have to tell him that he is literally the only person on this tribe to pm me first without me having to (NOT EXAGGERATION). marie and matt? no reply from marie in like 30 hours and matt hasnt been talking to me since i said idk queen. kirby guy? replies with 1 word answers and taste in music offends me NNN. nicole? who. all she does is ignore me and like somtimes she replies and ill reply in the SAME LIKE 10 SECONDS, and she'll just leave me on read JKADSFHAKSJ. comes back like 9 hours later with no reasoning on why she stopped talking and with just a "hi", and thats if im lucky! idk i hope we swap soon or merge. like the whole preswap i was praying for a swap to find some good allies bc all i had was nathan really, and now i just have dennis. maybe by merge ill have a whole 3 allies??? oh wait theres um maynor hes cool i always have to pm him first but hes at least responsive and can hold a conversation! black bear diner goes off and i WILL be eating there the next time in houston

We lost, which was hardly surprising when I saw the other tribe's video lol. So now it's not looking good for us dinahs... but luckily I have the idol up my sleeve hehe. Gonna tell Brian and Sharky so that we can use it to save us…

I was so happy that we won immunity. Stil feeling a little sketch on this tribe. Injust hope that the vote isnt charlie, brian, or sharky. And especially sharky cuz he’s my duo. Now dennis, nicole, and i are the only 3 to not go to tribal yet. Its pretty awesome amd kinda scary.

https://youtu.be/BfzG9xjtCRw

Down with the straights! I still think Jayden is going, but if Charlie ends up going I'm JUMPING because that means I've been lied to by people that want to claim to be my final 2... I do trust in Jayden going but we shall SEE!

So the tribe lost and I’m a bit nervous because I’ve only heard one name... I would have loved to saved my idol until I needed it but I think it’s very likely my name could be the second one going around... we shall see what happens though.

Ugh okay so I was hoping for a simple easy vote. But as usual there is just a little bit of drama. Nick told Anna/Nathan that he has a legacy advantage to be used at F13/F6 which is trash because that means if we lose next time he'll use that and be safe. But if we vote him out he'll gift it to Jayden and we have the same problem. Plus Charlie is wigging out because he has a bad feeling about the vote, which is totally fair because he isn't talking very much. And Nick told Anna her name got thrown out which is just untrue. This is just kind of messy and not in a cute way.

Jayden is voted out 5-2.

#episode #allmadhere

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