#step 2: do not think about the oh OH

[frostbitebakery]

“So? What’s the grand plan?”

Cody planned to have a mild to semi severe breakdown, thank you. “We contact the Order as soon as comms are running again.” Half the ship had been thoroughly fried when… this… happened. They had managed to send out a distress signal but that had been it.

“And in the meantime?” Obi— Gen— Kenobi asked. “I do what? Twiddle my thumbs?” He waved a hand around.

Stars, it barely had any of the callouses Cody knew so well. Or that little scar at the thumb’s knuckle from Obi-Wan accidentally cutting himself, getting citrus juice all over it, and letting out the longest, high-pitched, suppressed noise as he “let go of the pain and into the Force, Cody, through acknowledgement of what has befallen my body and spirit”. And now he was looking at the shiny-faced version who had much of the same hardness lurking in his eyes already as the man Cody knew. The same kindness, and, to Cody’s everlasting grief, the same brattiness.

“Some sleep would do you good,” Cody replied. The dark circles on that kid, Force.

Ken— Obi-…Wan sighed in that particular way that let Cody know this compliance would find an end soon enough. The kid ran a hand through his hair in a motion so familiar Cody’s heart constricted, and shrugged an irritated shoulder. “Might as well,” he muttered. “And where would I sleep?”

“Here, in your quarters.”

The kid’s brow contorted into a skeptical crunch. “With all the blaster oil and cleaning kits, and, you know, armor I assumed this was your room.”

“It is,” Cody confirmed without thinking like some kind of especially obtuse idiot.

They watched each other stagger into brain static in record time. And held each other’s gaze far, far too uncomfortably long. Cody’s eye twitched.

“Oh,” Obi— the kid said, blush blooming on his cheeks as he looked more closely at Cody, studying him. “Oh.”

“Peaceful rest,” Cody strangled out and turned around to very calmly and in a most dignified manner book it out of the quarters.

#codywan #ish #obi wan kenobi #de-aged!obi wan #commander cody #the clone wars fanart #my art #we are embracing tropes this fine Sunday #how to deal with your deaged SO and CO #step 1: set them a bed time #step 2: do not think about the oh OH #i KNOW Obes isn’t rocking the padawan cut #let me rest #and pretend he was on a mission #from whenever he got there #frostbitebakery art

[skitskatdacat63]

I will read the most inane and useless stuff for hours just for my own interest/enjoyment, but reading academic papers is like pulling a tooth 😭😭 like I genuinely think I'd find the info interesting but the fact that ik it's in pursuit of doing an assignment somehow manages to kills my motivation 100%

#step 1. you pick a research topic you find genuinely interesting #step 2. you have to research and read papers abour this topic. hey dont you remember you find this interesting?? #i just remember going on deep dives learning about random historical figures #but absolutely god forbid i read anything in the pursuit of actual schoolwork #i think its mostly that i feel constantly under duresss when im reading it yknow? #all i can think is: im going to have to write something about this #lol just need someone i can blab to about politics and maybe it would actually work out for me #but ugh yeah theres just such a palpable difference btwn reading smth for enjoyment and reading something 'for work' #here is an example! #in my one class i think my prof put The Prince as a reading #i didnt even look cause im liek yeah i aint reading all of that #fast forward a year later: oh my god! i wanna read machiavelli so bad! i wanna feel intellectual 🥰🥰 #literally bought myself a copy of it ..... #i think im too self aware. id like to remove all sense of context from my brain #literally spent hours today watching documentaries that are actually pretty relevant to my one course #<- but note. they werent FOR my course. i was just doing ir for fun! i wanted to learn!! #but if i got assigned a hour and a half docu for class....that shit would not be getting done #ugh yeah anyways i have two research papers this sem #and its so fucking annoying bcs its so open to my choices. like here. you can pick smth you find genuinely interesting #and you guys literally witness me constantly learn info and want to apply it #but the thought of having to write a paper for school(god forbid) literally keeps me awake at night #its just yeah. wish i could remove that particular barrier from my brain #bcs some of the things i do for fandom are literally borderline research papers #like. read and research a bunch. write about it to other people. apply the info(in fic/drawing/meta) #and really the topics are not so different from my actual coursework #but when i contemplate having to research and write for school it just flatlines my brain #need to start forcing people to watch me borderline seminar so that it feels more fun and in-line w what i do on here #the fernando card post???? practically a research paper. god. my brain is so bad #catie.rambling.txt

[beautifel]

seems like my heart does nothing but break lately

#oh my god dont read the tags. it breaks for everyone :( but on a more personal level #for my gf whos sinking deeper into something n i cant even help bc im a wreck myself but i am so so scared to lose her #still havent even been able to book a psych appointment n i rlly dont know where to go with all these ..em*tions #Guys i rlly dont understand one thing. how come one random freak whos in ur life at some point can derail a whole person like eons later #jeopardise their whole future just by crossing some lines for funz i really dont understand this #not fair not fair at all this is evil #and becasue u got unlucky someone wanted to be disgusting u have to carry the consequences #i rly still cant even say it i still cant even write it #i dont even know how . irl the only perosn i told in some capacity #is dealing with her own trauma and i hate that jsut being understanding is not enoughlike #Wow Lmao Its just Funny How it Shapes You. & U Can Never bury it forever becuz it will always catch up to you😂😂😂😂😂😂 #AND THE PAST CAN NEVER BE ERASED 😃😃😁😁😂😂😂🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔪🔪 #at least my gf has been taking steps to deal with it for.3 yrs and i just never even #LOL i feel like such a coward but the sh*me and the g**lt associated with the Thing..r so overwhelming i cant even admit it #what would i even do at the psych appointment like straight up what am i gonna say Lol #hai iam here to process something i dont actually remember probably becasue i was a child but imnot sure. n id rather #kms than tell u how i know 😂. So thats also why my heart breaks. for that little girl who was a ball of shame i guess and no matter #how much i cognitively.like rationally know its not my fault the ball of shame n guilt is still there #n it swallows me every time i vaguely start 2 think about acknowledging the Th*ng #or whatever. And thats just my end of the deal but my gf has it worse genuinely bc she remembers everything n still has to see the freak #n it went on for yrs n her family doesnt know n heres the worst thing hes a beloved family member a sweet boy with struggles of his own #well i hope he walks into traffic for doing what he did to her

[keelanrosa]

terfs when a study shows literally anything positive about trans people/transitioning: 'hm i think this requires some fact-checking. Were those researchers REALLY unbiased? Because if they were biased this doesn't count and if they weren't knowingly biased they probably were unconsciously biased, woke media affects so much these days. Have there been any other studies on this? Because if there haven't been this could be an outlier and if there have been and they all agree that's a bit odd, why aren't there any outliers, and if there have been and any disagree we really won't know the truth until we very thoroughly analyze them all, will we? Were there enough subjects for a good sample size? Did every single subject involved stay involved through the whole study because if they didn't we should be sure nothing shady was going on resulting in people dropping out. Are we 110% sure all the subjects were fully honest and at no point were embarrassed or afraid to admit they didn't love transitioning to the people in charge of their transition? Are we 110% sure none of the subjects were manipulated into thinking they were happy with their transition? In fact we should double-check what they think with their parents, because if the subjects and their parents disagree it's probably because they've been manipulated but their cis parents have not and are very unbiased. How many autistic subjects were there because if there weren't enough then this doesn't really study the overlap between autistic and trans and if there were too many then we just don't know enough about what causes that overlap to be sure this study really explains being trans and isn't just about being autistic. How many AFAB subjects were there because if there weren't enough this is just another example of prioritizing AMAB people and ignoring the different struggles of girls and women and if there were too many how do we know sexism didn't affect the results. Was the study double-blinded? We all know double-blinded is the most reliable so if this one wasn't that's a point against it even if the thesis literally physically could not be double-blinded. Look i'm not being transphobic, i want what's best for trans people! Really! But as a person who is not trans and therefore objective in a way they cannot possibly be, i just think we should only take into account Good Science here. You want to be following science and not being manipulated or experimented upon by something unscientific, right?'

terfs when they see a study of 45 subjects so old it predates modern criteria for gender dysphoria and basically uses 'idk her parents think she's too butch', run by a guy who practiced conversion therapy, 'confirmed' by a guy who treated the significant portion of subjects who didn't follow up as all desisting, definitely in the category of 'physically cannot double-blind this', completely contradicted by multiple other studies done on actual transgender subjects, but can be kinda cited as evidence against transitioning if you ignore everything else about it: 'oOOH SEE THIS IS WHAT WE'RE TALKIN BOUT. SCIENCE. Just good ol' unbiased thorough analysis. I see absolutely no reason to dig any deeper on this and if you think it's wrong you're the one being unscientific. It's really a shame you've been so thoroughly brainwashed by the trans agenda and can't even accept science when you see it. Maybe now that someone has finally uncovered this long-lost study from 1985, we can make some actual progress on the whole trans problem.'

#science #transphobia #cass review #less 'cass review' generally more 'zucker specifically' because this same problem exists outside cass #have lost count of the number of times i've seen 'well THAT study may have said most trans kids persist but it MUST be wrong' #'there's another study says the exact opposite. that one's right. obviously.' #but cass is why i'm annoyed by it now #normally i don't have a problem with critical observations and questions. yeah check your science! that's good! #there have been some bullshit studies and some bullshit interpretations of good studies! scientific literacy is important! #and normally also am willing to pretend the people pulling reaction 1 on some studies and reaction 2 on others are. not the same group. #but now there's a ton of cass supporters tryna say 'oh the cass review didn't reject or downplay anything for being pro-trans!' #'some studies just weren't given much weight for being poor evidence! not our fault those were all studies with results trans people like!' #…….………….aight explain why zucker's findings are used for the 'percentage of trans kids who don't stay trans' stat instead of anyone else's. #would've been more scientifically accurate to say 'yeah we just don't know.' #'studies have been done but none of them fit our crack criteria sooooo *shrug*' #like COME ON at least PRETEND you're genuinely checking scientific correctness and not looking for excuses to weed out undesirable results #am also mad about zucker in particular because his is possibly the most famous bullshit study #quite bluntly if you're doing trans research and think 'yeah this one seems reasonable' you. are maybe not well-informed enough for the job #there's just no way you genuinely look at the research with an eye toward accurate science regardless of personal bias #and walk away thinking 'hm that zucker fellow seems reasonable. competent scientists will respect that citation.' #that's one or two steps above doing a review of vaccine science and seriously citing wakefield's mmr-causes-autism study #it doesn't matter what the rest of your review says people are gonna have OPINIONS on that bit #and outside anti-vaxxers most of those opinions will be 'are you actually the most qualified for this because ummmm.' #people who agree with everything else will still think someone more competent could've done a much better job #people who disagree with everything else will point to that as proof you don't know shit and why should we listen to you #anyway i'd love a hugeass trans science review with actual fucking standards hmu if you know of one cause this ain't it #……does tumblr still put a limit on how many tags you can include guess me and my tag essay are about to find out.

[bullagit]

i think a not-insignificant amount of the heartbreak crowley’s feeling in the end is  because he’s finally truly understanding that what’s happening with aziraphale (as he perceives it) isn’t something that he can save him from.

#good omens #good omens 2 #spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers #like if there's truth in the coffee theory that'll be a whole other thing but if its all straightforward As Perceived #i do think that tracks and i do think that clicked #and there's something very real and painful about that idk #like you can't undo an entire existence of that manipulation and abuse and how much of aziraphale's sense of self is #wrapped up in it all. being an angel being Good serving a Purpose #crowley can give love and support and patience #be a sounding board and ask questions that help aziraphale step back from things and think sometimes #but that greater disconnect and that final realization of what heaven really is. he can't do that FOR aziraphale #aziraphale has to live and experience that on his own and finally actually let himself feel that #bc i think he's very good at not letting himself think about or feel those things even after being so crushed in s1 #idk i feel a lot of religious trauma feelings about it i think it parallels that abusive relationship for a reason #like dont get me wrong the BULK of crowleys pain is from that interaction just generally and that rejection #but i think this also plays into it i think that perspective of someone who was thrown out and had the blinders removed #and having this interaction and realizing Oh. Oh there are still hooks deep into aziraphale there's this festering damage #Oh there's no amount of talk or hypotheticals that will sever the tether for him bc even after everything aziraphale BELIEVES. in heaven #as an institution. and idk man im just fascinated with that angle of it for crowley bc its like #SO complex

[sevicia]

I wanted to make a cleaner summary of last week's classes and also review the classes I have this week since the material is already uploaded beforehand but I was feeling so horrible throughout the day that when I sat down I was just gonna look at the ones for tomorrow but I think I'm just gonna go to bed because I just gave my little numbers game a few tries and not even the joy of tribial elementary school-level math games is bringing my brain cells and/or full sentience back

#diary #accessing it through the CMD thing and not just running it from the IDE made me realize a few things about it though so I'll hav #I'll have to maybe jot them down somewhere when I'd normally just be rly excited and try to fix them straight away like I am truly fucked r #I do wanna make an eng version of it sometime soon so I can share it even tho it's literally the simplest little thing. it's fun if you're #an easily amused nerd that loves playing with numbers in a truly useless manner. if that makes sense #also very obviously text-only I am NOT torturing myself with any graphics of ANY kind rn #it closes immediatly as they do and also when it comes to having double/triple digit starting numbers it becomes a lot less fun I think tho #though I haven't used it much with those yet #I still wanna figure out a way of making it better when it comes to 2/3 digit starters. and my original idea included maybe keeping track #keeping track of how many steps you took even between different rounds but I made the simplest version for now. I also think making like a #''this was the least amount of steps possible!'' type thing would be very very cool but that is FAR too big brained for me rn #cause I can figure out how to do the record keeping thing but that last one is like. let's stop talking for a little while................. #oh but adding an actual interface sounds so fun even though I have very little clue on how to do that rn I could probably STOP typing becau #because I can feel my stupid ass self start getting excited about this which will make it so I start working on it instead of going to bed #NO. DOWN !!!!!!!!!!!!!! auhgh............ oh man I had a lame joke to make but I completely forgot what it was #I have coding class tomorrow in which I normally just do the exercises as fast as possible before playing around but the only Python editor #I could find installed on the school computers was Visual Studio Code and I have no clue how to use that shit like I don't need so many #so many buttons. probz. OKAY GOODNIGHT

[wavernot4love]

oh buddy i am currently having a Moment because what do you Mean i see fall out boy again in ten days .... ten days ,,,, we are almost into single digits oh this has crept up on me SO soon

#also some folks talked to pete & patrick last night after the show it seems so ??? i may hang around after in hopes of that? #oh i am Plotting dude #i also still have so much stuff 2 make i haven't even started bracelets #also may do stickers again since they were a hit during tourdust and that was fun #i am so excited to meet up with new folks 2 trade etc i had so much fun with the community last year at my shows!! #also saw someone post about dancing in the back of the floor at their show like behind the seats and this had me Thinking... #perhaps my 2023 days of pitting to calm before the storm can continue after all #albany folks please come two step with me (unironically) #but dude i am so so stoked on this show #everything about it #i love albany and i'm staying overnight w my cousin i'm so excited 2 make a trip out of this #also stoked 2 see jimmy again since i was so far back for their set @ adjacent last year #also still not entirely giving up on msg and or pittsburgh #if i miraculously come across a close floor ticket for one of those for an incredibly reasonable price oh i am there babey #fobposting #fob posting #i cannot remember which of these is my fob tag #wavernot4love gets 2 the gig

[an-absolute-nightmare]

the thing about social interaction is that it is an essential skill that i never learnt and whatever of it existed was only grievously impaired during the pandemic so i'm trying to learn it by aggressively throwing myself into social situations even though it is difficult. surely something will stick

#having connections is so important #which is why i'm grabbing every opportunity to make new connections by the throat even if it scares my so so so much #chanting 'we must not romanticise ease we can do difficult things' as i scream cry and try to teach myself something basic #i have discovered in this process that i try too hard to make myself palatable and ultimately give others nothing to work with #that's probably the adhd. i can't strike a balance bw masking enough to not be ridiculed but not so much as to seem completely distant #but worrying about that is step 2. step 1 is just interacting with people at any cost #in less scary news i am trying to figure out stuff i like instead of just going along with stuff people around me have always told me i like #shit although maybe that's more scary now that i think about it... #i might have to.. open up... and talk about all this stuff... to all these people i'm trying to make connections with... Oh God #bwaaaaaaaaaaaa this self improvement shit is difficult and terrifying they should do classes on how to be a person

[keeps-ache]

life could be a dream!!! [throws myself into the sun]

#just me hi #IF I COULD. DO THIS THING #[SHADOO BA DOO BA. SHADOO BA DOO BA DAY] #//i need things done like yesterday so that means i refuse to actually read these paragraphs until i've scanned over them like 20 times #get the information -> realize it doesn't have very detailed step-by-step instructions with screenshots -> take a 5 minute break because #Anxiety Is Weird -> go back over the instructions Meticulously like 15 times -> attempt to integrate the info into Actual Actions -> it's #working!!! :DD -> let me just try to fix this thing that it didn't explain how to fix -> yea ctrl-Z that right there.... -> wait wrong tab #-> WRONG TAB. OH NNNAO -> another hour of trying to figure out what i fudged -> oh whatever. [goes to bed] -> next day. who care #who even care. yea? right. #/anyway that's how the website editing has been goin lol :) #i have no brainn ouhhhhhhhh #seriously i had 2 neocities tabs open cuz i just Do That but i got them mixed up so fvshfbvhajfbvhdbvjfhvjvr #man. these things happen tho ykno? yea #yeaa life goes on wouhh #also i haven't been able to work on literally anything else somebody help me hfvbhafjbvhafj #like i wanted to take a Break and i couldn't focus on anything else i just kept thinking about the fricken webbed site hfvafh #and also had a dream about it last night so like. it's bad Lllllol #//anyway getting back to it rn tho cuz. well. i'm physically incapable of doing anything else until i can get the closest thing to what i #want to exist. so ttooooodles :>>

[pepprs]

ok mutuals i have a predicament. i probably posted abt this but in october this guy reached out to me bc my former prof gave him my name.. he works an arts center in my state and they desperately need someone to be a graphic designer / social media consultant for this one program they do. it would be paid (i get to determine my salary but i have no idea how much ppl get paid for this kinda thing) and i’d work for like 5-7 hrs a week remotely by designing / formatting stuff, drafting text, selecting photos, etc.. and it sounds mildly interesting but also im really hoping that work tag 2 will be a 40 h/w situation in a couple weeks time LMFAOOOOO so idk if i would be like overloading myself if i had this one job and then did another on the side. i could do it if it was like 1 hr a day after i get home maybe but also that sounds like it would be so annoying and burdensome if i get tasked w this thing that i don’t rly care abt.. sigh. so uhm does anyone have experience w this kind of thing and what should i do lol

#purrs #part of me wants to do this solely so that my parents will let me go for the work tag 2 job and not think that im limiting myself or #whatever lol. bc this job would be what they think i want to do / should do and then at work tag 2 #i would be doing what i want to do. but it’s only 1-2 hours and i would be making extra money and interacting w new ppl which would be good #but then it’s like how do i get out of it if im unhappy. im really worried i would be unhappy bc it’s sitting there designing posts and itll #be for stuff i like sorta care about but not the stuff i REALLY care about. but also i would be working towards getting out of the house #faster (by earning more $ than i would ordinarily) and also making my parents happy by broadening my horizons. so i think i should do it but #idk. they must be really desperate bc i literally ghosted the guy in oct bc i was so overwhelmed which i feel bad abt bc he seems rly nice #and chill but… idk UGHHHH this is stressful. i think i should do it but if it becomes burdensome i’ll hate myself for it but it’s only an #hour and it might be better than i think it would be. idk. what do u think 😩 #part of it is like omg i wanted to have nothing but work tag 2 to worry about for SO LONG and now that im on the brink of that im… actively #considering throwing in another thing to focus on? like are you stupid? but idk lollll #OH I FORGOT TO MENTION lol so i ghosted him in oct and then he just followed up a couple weeks ago saying the position is open and basically #offering it to me and saying we can talk abt next steps LOL. so that’s why i said they must be desperate and that’s why im posting abt it rn

[iloveyoumorethansoup]

I was a fool to think I could get through any of this movie without crying

#why on earth am I watching this at home with my parents around???? #I’m like. 2 steps away from openly combing #the only thing that’s saving me is that I’m watching it in Japanese so I can stop reading subtitles and stop understanding it #it’s the welcome home line. every time. #if I simply do not think about it I will not cry #watches movie I know will make me cry. why am I crying so hard #watching this at college vs at home a wildly different experience #college I went I’m gonna fix my relationship with my mother! I’m going to set out an offer and fix this #at home I’m like oh man. it’d be nice but I think I have to just. accept things as they are. try for something new once I’m gone #I’m not crying for an hour and a half straight this time afterwards though! #though to be fair it’s bc I’m not letting myself cry lol #soup talks

[384302]

I love love love the moment in Gideon the Ninth where the Third challenges the Sixth in a clearly unfair move, and Gideon, half-on-instinct, still faking a vow of silence, simply unsheathes her sword, at which Harrow doesn't miss a beat and says her "The Ninth House will represent the Sixth House" line, while Gideon just smiles.

In Gideon's head this is "I am not standing for this shit anymore. For the love of God, Harrow, please understand what I'm doing and back me up here. Oh thank fuck you've got it. I'm so happy I could kiss you."

In Harrow's head this appears to be "For fuck's sakes, Nav, what do you think you're doing. Ok, think. Can't give anything away. Have to project unity, but fuck you, Griddle, for making me do this."

But for everyone else this is the legendary, mysterious, terrifying, bone magicians of the Ninth House, with no warning, stepping between the Sixth and the Third. The skull-faced cavalier who hasn't said a single word simply drawing her sword. The shockingly powerful and inscrutable necromancer matter-of-factly declaring an alliance that no-one, even the supposed allies, knew about. The sinister smirk on the cavalier's face. And the line from Harrowhark: "Death first to vultures and scavengers."

I love it so much and I love additionally the moment that this sets up in the climax, which is essentially the same emotional beat, the key changes being 1) both Harrow and Gideon have become open and vocal with each other; 2) both Harrow and Gideon are working together consciously as well as instinctively; 3) their opponents don't back down so they follow through. "Nav, show them what the Ninth House does." "We do bones, motherfucker."

#the locked tomb #gideon the ninth #harrowhark nonagesimus #gideon nav #griddlehark #tlt

[deelovesbooks]

My uncle was sharing the fucking Facebook posts of "it's not happy holidays it's MERRY CHRISTMAS SHARE IF U AGREE" and the temptation to just rock up to family jesusmas and only say happy holidays this year is so so strong

#let it be known that i come by my pettiness honestly #there is a non zero chance that my mom is gonna ensure that one member of our family is missing from Christmas and all holidays #bc of drama that happened at Thanksgiving last month 😂 #and there have also been other moments of pettiness also related to this side of family christmas #of my oma (step dads mom) asking my mom to tone it down with the gifts to the other grandkids bc she feels shown up #of which i believe my moms internal response and then what we talked about was essentially fuck u imma do it even more now #like my cousins dont care if oma gives them 20 and auntie gives them like 30 or 40 they just go sweet money #but oh man thanksgiving was just drama basically about getting a family picture together with everone bc #'this could be the last time were all together' which resulted in im assuming most of us going ok whos dying in like 3 months?? #bc its not like anyone is on their deathbed currently and we all live close to eachother relatively farthest away is just under 2 hrs #and the grandparents are only in young 70s not like theyre 99 and holding on for dear life #like yeah sure accidents happen and people die thats just life but we tend not to bring that up when leaving a family gathering #and then a majority of us grandkids are old enough to look at eachother like 👀😶 #im an adult and we got ages 12-16 sequentially for 6 out of 10 and then a like 10 8 5 and 3 make up the rest #anyways ill probably make sure to enunciate at least one happy holidays this year lol #me #my textposts #jesusmas #i think i actually have a tag for that

[lina-lovebug]

I'd Fight The Devil

Pairing: Alastor x fem! reader

Background: reader is Lilith and Lucifers oldest, and resembles Lilith more. Lucifer has a hard time bonding with her because of this, and Alastor decides to step in.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"DAD'S COMING?!"

(Y/N) Morningstar, firstborn daughter of Lilith and Lucifer, was currently having a breakdown over the fact that her father was on his way to the hotel.

She'd have no issue leaving, of course, but Charlie tricked her dear old sister into staying by saying she needed help with the hotel. . .and told her their dad was coming when he was two minutes away.

It's not like she didn't miss him, but things became different once their mother disappeared. Lucifer threw himself into his ideas, and (Y/N) tried maintaining their relationship but he couldn't even stand the look of her.

"I'm sorry! But I thought maybe you guys could talk while he's here?" Charlie suggested with a gulp, twiddling her fingers.

"I'm done trying with dad. If he wants to talk, he can come to me," (Y/N) crossed her arms, firm on her stance.

"I never thought I'd meet someone with worse daddy issues, but here you are, cher," Alastor, with his famous grin, looked down at the Princess of Hell. She huffed, not in the mood for his side comments.

"Alastor, please-"

"He's here!"

"-please fucking hide me!" She ran behind him, despite the mass amount of blonde hair making it obvious.

He chuckled.

Honestly, since meeting the eldest Morningstar, Alastor deemed himself her Protector. Not that the girl wasn't capable or needed him persay, but he cared for her. Being on the aroace spectrum, he wasn't plagued by a selfish desire to fuck her, but it was a sweet concern that slowly turned into a need to be near her.

A need to make her his.

"Hopefully he doesn't-"

"Pumpkin?"

"Fuck," (Y/N) silently cursed under her breath before Alastor stepped aside.

"Hey dad," Lucifer felt a pang in his sinister heart at her tone. She sounded uncomfortable and wouldn't even look at him, but he also remembered that he couldn't look at her at times.

It reminded him of happier times.

Times he didn't want to be reminded of anymore.

"So how've you been? Heard you've got a fancy job now. Probably making loads of money, huh?" He chuckled nervously.

"Dad, it's my company. I made it."

And he couldn't even remember that she did that?

Any dad would remember that his child created her own business.

"Ouch."

"And it's got a fucking duck on the logo. God, dad," She rose her voice, "you can't even remember that?"

"I've been busy, pumpkin-"

"Too busy to call? Too busy to even fucking call?!"

Charlie flinched at the harshness in her voice. She's always been a firecracker but she's never seen her so angry.

"I'm not fighting with you, (Y/N)," Lucifer stepped towards her, "why do you insist on fighting? Especially when I'm here for Charlie."

"Oh, you're here for Charlie?" Her horns started to come up through her skin, rolling back like a rams.

Just like her mom.

"I'm not making this about me. I just wish you'd make the effort instead of it having to be me," She missed who he was.

And during this, Alastor could see the pain on her face. She was furious, and rightfully so.

But he let her fight her own battles.

"I'm sorry that I look like mom. Is that what you want me to say?!"

"Yes!"

He didn't mean it. Of fucking course he didn't mean it, but it slipped out.

"Dad! That's enough!" Charlie ran to her, seeing tears well up in her sisters eyes. "How could you say that?"

"Pumpkin, I-"

"Don't," She sniffled, holding Charlie close, "don't come near me."

But he didn't listen.

He hated being the fact that his little girl was crying because of him.

"I think you've come far enough," Alastor spoke, getting infront of Charlie and (Y/N). He is excellent at saving face, so his pure unadulterated rage was hidden beneath his smile.

She hiccuped behind him, sobbing into Charlie's shoulder.

"Don't make me move you," Lucifer glared.

"And don't make me fucking kill you for hurting what's mine."

His voice turned more static-like than before, his eyes a burning red and his horns outstretched. He was a fucking shield for his Princess, and not even the King of Hell could get through. Lucifer recognized this and humbly backed away, retreating with his tail between his legs.

_ _ ☆ _ _

(Y/N) spent the next hour crying in her room. Over the years, she had started to hate herself for looking like her mom, and Lucifers' confirmation only reaffirmed it.

"Need anything else?" Charlie asked her. Although her sister wasn't searching for redemption, she had her own personal room in the hotel.

"Can you get Alasto-?"

A knock sounded at the door.

"Was he there the whole time?" She sniffled, and a muffled "maybe" came through the door.

Her bed was surrounded by napkins that she quickly placed on her bedside as Charlie allowed Alastor inside.

Alone.

The two of them.

Might as well just throw them condoms and say get to it, is what (Y/N) was thinking. She's known about her crush on The Radio Demon for a few months now, having a fantasy dream here and there, but wasn't much of an active person herself.

"Thank you. I know he tried to fix it, but I couldn't stand to look at him," Her puffy eyes made Alastors eye twitch, still a small spout of anger for her father.

"Of course, my dear," He sat himself next to her on the bed.

"Because your father, although the King of Hell, is a fucking coward", is what he wanted to say but kept those words for himself.

"Did you mean it? That I'm yours?" She asked, her hand inching closer to his.

"I never say anything I don't mean, cher," He grabbed her hand, kissed it, and made the she-demon gasp.

"I thought you hated touch."

He chuckled, "Oh, I do, but not if it's you. Your skin is warm, and it brings me comfort. You bring me comfort."

"You'd have me, even if I want to be glued to your side? Even having petty fights with my dad?"

"Darling, I'd wear your skin if you asked."

"Oh, how romantic," She blushed before both his hands came up to her face, bringing her into a needy kiss. With her, he needed to feel her.

Someday, even all of her.

"And I'd eat demons with you," She whispered against his lips.

"Oh my heart may burst, my dear."

Taglist: @lorkai @droopingdatura @tr1coo @randomuser-89 @abbiedail @evelin1o1 @sseleniaa

#alastor imagine #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel imagine

[biboomerangboi]

Hua Cheng essentially cockblocking himself for possibly all of eternity will literally never not be the funniest thing MXTX ever wrote.

Xie Lian was pretty much completely in love with him the second he saw those lanterns (and completely oblivious about it) and then we get the wonderful first kiss underwater moment and Xie Lian is basically drawing hearts around Hua Cheng every time he sees him. While like quietly dying cause he literally has no idea what to do with it. Like at this point he doesn’t even really understand that he is head over heels totally gone for this man.

Until Hua Cheng is like I have a beloved I just haven’t won them over yet. Which he thinks is perfectly reasonable because his self esteem is the worst and he doesn’t understand how he could have won Xie Lian over yet. (He’s only on step 22 of his Marrying Dianxia 3000 step Master Plan ((that he debates throwing out on a regular basis because he doesn’t deserve to even dream about wanting Xie Lian)). So course he’s like yeah I have this wonderful noble beautiful beloved I just haven’t won them over yet wink wink nudge nudge.

But Xie Lian is like oh of course obviously I don’t deserve nice things and fuck I actually wanted him so badly I’m actually in love with him and now I will resign myself to never being happy for his sake. (Their combined self esteem is truly a so low it’s a hole in the ground which is hilarious because they think the other person is to good for them and unattainable forever because they literally have the same neurosis.) So he starts boxing up his feelings forever constantly wanting Hua Cheng and feeling guilty about it and literally dying inside because he wants Hua Cheng like he’s never wanted anyone.

Like essentially books 3 and 5 only happen because Hua Cheng has now cursed them both by saying he has a beloved because Xie Lian believes he isn’t wanted and therefore any nice thing Hua Cheng does is just him being nice and not Hua Cheng pulling out steps 23-34 of his plan thinking he still hasn’t won Xie Lian over. (He has he so has but he shot himself in the foot so badly it’s painful to read).

Like thank the Gods Hua Cheng is so unhinged and created the cave of 10000 Gods cause Xie Lian would literally be at his own wedding to Hua Cheng still convinced he wanted someone else and this was in fact a thing they were doing to solve a case together otherwise.

Like he needed something that unhinged to put 2 and 2 together otherwise he never would have caught on he’s Hua Cheng’s beloved. Meanwhile Hua cheng is like 🥺 he’s going to think I’m a weirdo now and I’m only on step 50 of the plan 🥺 like the two of them wouldn’t have been fucking nasty 2 books ago if he just kept his mouth shut and didn’t cockblock himself so violently.

#I hate them I love them they are both so stupid #hualian #tgcf #tian guan ci fu #hua cheng #xie lian #heavens official blessing #heaven official's blessing #hualian meta #tgcf meta #actually don’t know why I’m tagging this as meta I’m just bullying them but you get it #zee rambles #writing them and wanting to die #zees 2am text posts