#still am sometimes tbh

[gregmarriage]

truly my last relationship taught me so much. it also instilled in me some things i’m still unlearning. like, how most people won’t get mad if you accidentally fall asleep without saying goodnight (and not replying to messages, because i’m literally asleep), or freak out if you stop replying for like five minutes. like, i couldn’t do anything i enjoyed bc she’d be like ‘um, what fuck are you doing? why aren’t you answering me?!!!’ like relax, i’m literally just showering. it was truly a case of sitting still unless i wanted to upset her. and then i STILL somehow upset her and i never really knew why. but, hey, that relationship ended a long time ago, i should be fine now, right? 😐

#it’s literally been like five years and i still wake up sometimes like ‘oh god i didn’t say goodnight! oh god i didn’t reply back to that #person’s message!’ when said person doesn’t care one bit #it’s just cause that relationship was so crazy that it made ME crazy and i’m beginning to realise that yeah i still carry some shit from it #literally that relationship is the entire reason i’ve been single all this time and why i’m trying to be emotionally mature etc #bc that relationship ending gave me a smack around the head that said something needs to change’ #bc the way i was before is the reason i was in that relationship and in that situation in the first place #and that relationship ending and trauma and shit separate from that made me get really romance repulsed for a while #still am sometimes tbh #pretty much permanently in a state of ‘yeah i need look after myself’ for the last five years #and idk when that would open up to me being in a new relationship #idk i really just need to not rush anything with anyone and just take things slow and see where they go #have fun in the meantime #bc my past few relationships have been really intense #especially the last one as i said #and i fully don’t have the time or energy for anything hardcore currently #so if there’s anyone at some point they must be prepared to wait for em and court me like we’re victorian lovers #you must wait three years untill we kiss for the first time bc i truly don’t know the timeframe for when i’d wanna do anything i’ll be #honest imaooooo #but yeah romance is a complicated subject for me #i’m literally a hopeless romantic but the thought of romance lately truly just makes me feel gross #like in theory yeah i wanna kiss someone but in actual practice i’m like get away from me! #idk i’m on the road to bulilding healthy relationships #romantic especially bc i really can’t go back to how i used to be #sorry to disappoint anyone imaoooo #but nah anyways people who want to get close to me and be my friend has to be cool with my boundaries i set up #and sometimes forget about even tho they’re my own boundaries bc i’m silly like that #could do casual stuff but i really don’t think i’m the type for that imao #and even that sets off the same alarms in my head so idk 🤷🏻‍♀️ #gwen rambles #gwenposting

[britomart]

Bruce Springsteen ↳ I'm on Fire (Paris, 1985)

[ID: Two black and white gifs of Bruce Springsteen from the side as he sings "Sometimes it's like someone took a knife, baby, edgy and dull / And cut a six-inch valley through the middle of my skull". /end ID.]

#bruce springsteen #brucespringsteenedit #im on fire tag #my old springsteen gifs keep popping up in my notes and i am so glad everyone is still enjoying them #but i think theyre so ugly and do not do the man justice 😭😭😭 #so here are some new ones <3 #tbh sometimes i forget the major springsteen moment i had like . just last year .... but he never really leaves you huh

[ectoplasmer]

you guys ever grab your f/o’s face and just *forehead kiss* *forehead kiss* *forehead kiss* *forehea

#this was originally phrased for platonic f/os but i then proceeded to think about doing this with my boyfriends and. yeah #anyway #HEY i finally picked back up gx because i got bored lol #and because. lowkey. judai randomly popping up in my dreams spooked me enough to remember to continue watching it >_< #i am reminded of why he got instantly put on the platonic list despite me barely knowing him lol #literally just. golden retriever #which is so so funny when you look at my two other platonic f/os #like on one hand we have the serious and more mature beyond my years #and then we have the high energy positivity fiends #if i still listed my hs f/os on my list you would see more obviously what i mean lol #sometimes you just want to smother your friend in a dumb display of affection u_u #anyway. #hello #tbh… kissing melv (and technically yb) right where the eye of wedjat would go… <333 #self ship #selfship #selfshipping #self shipping #f/o imagines #imagine your f/o #romantic f/o #platonic f/o #self ship community #selfshipping community #platonic: judai #quartzshipping #rainy.file

[wis-art]

Women, so pretty, so shaped, i am so lesbian,,,

#im also incredibly dysphoric tonight #but i was told by my coworker im incredibly feminine by her earlier #and i mean yeah #..... #i am a tall weird internet woman who likes to draw #so funny how i thought i was bi #I'm just really into women... #my ex is a trans guy and he told me he thinks im lesbian and i had a “holy fuck this explains so much moment” #we broke up but we still have a weird queer relationship outside of social heteronormative norms that is hard to explain and only we #can really understand #im not into men because you know #im a lesbian #had a weird period in my life when i was dating a guy and said im a lesbian and i felt sooooo scared #turns out when youre on meds and your brain is working right you just stop caring about such things #i went on a parade wearing big lesbian flag and girls loved it :) #i dont really know if i ever want to date anyone again #but i think if you look at my art you can really tell my sexuality quite easily lolol #funny how love can be so complicated sometimes #i mean it was kind of inevitable we break up cause we're kind of incompatible but tbh #it was better for us #hehe

[ganondoodle]

i often really do feel like an .. unwanted part of the fandom, i dont draw beautiful landscapes, i have unpopular but strong opinions im constantly annoying about and rarely change, dont like/dont draw the pretty young popular twinks and hot gurls to fanboi over nor do i turn characters into one, the opposite moreso, draw only one ship no ones heard of really, got little energy to interact with the few people that are nice to me and send me asks so it probably looks like im ignoring everyone and unfortunately but still rarely get so stressed i get overwhelmed and emotional about pehaps seemingly minor things and spiral almost into a breakdown feeling super embarrassed about it afterwards but the damage is already done and i look like a freak or agressive weirdo

#ganondoodles talks #also probably sounds like self pity #but this feeling hits everytime i see a super popular artist be the popular cool artist #i am a little weird i know that and thats not somethign bad i think #but the internet never gets to see that much of me #i tend to write posts when i am at my worst bc it has to go somewhere #so the image it tells people is that im a weirdly strong opiniod freak that gets breakdowns over nothing #i also dont feel like im otherwise -cool tm- enough to balance that out #i dont think my art is as stylized or as inventive as others nor am i cool to interact with bc idk how to be cool to interact with #i feel double bad when i misstepped with someone i used to talk to bc of something stupid ... or just dont know what i did wrong #im guessing its especially when i am in that spiraling state of mind where i really am not myself tbh #it still feels very bad bc i feel like i can never make it up to anyone again #sorry i acted like a jerk my brain was exploding in emotions in a desperate attempt to deal with something idk how to deal with- #-and made me not act like myself but now i feel really dumb about it #doesnt sound like a good excuse #... i want to thank those that do stick with me #even if i acted strange sometimes- even if i disappointed sometimes- even when i couldnt keep a promise #there are little things that still make me angry at myself #like that one time i asked in the tags whod read as long as the end of them and if someone did shoudl send me an ask so id draw a lil thing #and i got two #and i kept trying to remeber oh shit i need to do that and forgetting again/not having energy for it in a loop #i still feel like a jerk about it but now its probably too late #i wish i could answer all asks i get but man my energy for that is always rock bottom #no matter how much i enjoy the ask #and i love getting asks!!! #im sorry :((

[senselessalchemist]

Bow problems (+ other nonsense)

#saroart #dead cells #the beheaded #the collector #they just wanted a nice bow #the collector can do a lot of stuff but i don't think he's good at bows #i was drawing a lot of antagonistic beheaded/collector content so i wanted to do some more cute junk #okay a lot is an exaggeration. still #need some guys being buds content sometimes #weird monster guys doing domestic shit is my favorite genre #i got a bonus at holiday time and im tempted to buy a tablet i can use portably #esp because holy fuck i don't know how to draw anymore #but also i just spent stupid money on tickets to live podcasts so i probably shouldn't #unrelated im very upset today because fucking UPS didn't ring my goddamn doorbell and so “”missed me“” and couldnt deliver my specialty meds #why must i get my meds through ups #because the us is a hellscape and i am beholden to my health insurance company #ups who has literally never managed to get a package to this apartment #tbh im stressed as fuck about having to go through this every goddamn month

[andaniellight]

Astra inclinant sed non obligant ("The stars incline, but not to bind us.")

Literally quite Not Normal after finishing @petrachord 's tragic fic of these two

#tragedy when everything is Understandable But It Does Not Have To Be That Way TBH = GOOD FUCKING SHIT #one of those is based of a moment in chapter 12 of astra inclinant by petracore #Donquixote Brothers #Donquixote Doflamingo #Donquixote Rosinante #Corazon #One Piece #OP #something something sometimes a monster is still a monster even when you love him. even when he loves you back as well something #'yes doffy kills people and burns towns but he's my brother and i am somehow his duty still' - rosi for the 4987356th time

[foolishnpd]

it's funny that narcissism is called abusive like, yeah i have awful traits, but i try very hard to offset them and not be shitty??? and i'm certainly not the only one who can do that

like yes i love talking about myself and hate listening to others and would rather just dominate the conversation with my own speech, but i will make an effort to ask questions and actively listen to the other person and refrain from steering the conversation back on myself to be respectful

yes i will exaggerate and borderline lie about every story and anecdote i tell to get the reaction i want (praise/sympathy) but i will also make an active effort to be honest and not intentionally lie everywhere else to offset this, because the exaggerations are ultimately harmless anyways

yes i lack affective empathy, but i can push myself to have cognitive empathy, i try to display sympathy and compassion to the best of my abilities

yes i'm only really willing to associate with people who meet my standards of special-ness, but i also won't be a rude pos to anyone who doesn't

I think i'm better than everyone but i rarely so much as mention that to people

#lilyroaring #actually npd #npd safe #narcissistic personality disorder #idk i just make an effort to be respectful and kind #hell i even go overboard with being nice sometimes #like i do NOT have to be as nice as i am #but tbh the nicer you are. the more people might praise you so like...? it's worthwhile #anyways it's like yeah i have narcissistic traits #i'm not even that good of a person regardless #but people still tell me i'm very nice and understanding and sweet and whatnot #because i AM

[adelinamoteru]

I have truly never seen so much discourse for a hero/anti-hero that kills until I started liking jason todd. I have literally never seen so many people get hate for not condemning a fictional character who kills bad guys until now its shocking! and I mean that literally

maybe I’m the one missing something but there are plenty of heroes (not antiheroes but HEROES) who exist that choose a lethal method and people take that in stride? the only way I can make sense of this is that people are so attached to batman and his mythos; they literally imprint on him and his thinking ?? and now any slight against him or challenge against his righteousness is taken as if its a slight against them.

at the end of the day, to me, you can still support jason being lethal because the fictional characters hes killing aren’t actually dead. in this sense, specifically, I don’t see why real life morals should be applied to a comic world. he’s not killing out of bigotry and if he was, I would get the controversy! but if you can agree with brutally beating and invasions of privacy in the dcu because it’s “morally correct” within the universe, I can’t see an argument against jason’s methods being morally wrong as valid unless those views are applied to every aspect of batman comics. if we did that, then everyone who continued reading these comics would be getting the same treatment jason todd fans do. ​you cannot hold one character accountable to real life moral views and not the other(s)!

#jason todd #dcu #jason todd meta #batman #dc meta #am I making any sense bc tbh I am writing this while permed and words sometimes don’t make sense to me then #let jason todd kill ! let him fuck up every villian that he meets ! no one thinks universe proclaimed villians dying are the same as killing #ppl in real life I promise u! #I just want to enjoy my anti hero crime lord vigilante in peace #you have arkham ASYLUM btw that is canonically a revolving door bc how else can we make money from the story if they stayed in ‘jail’ #and villains canonically proven to kill for the laughs or the drama or the fun of it and feel no remorse #and ur coming at me and talking about the death penalty being wrong in relation to this universe ? #WHAT ABOUT THIS UNIVERSE REMOTELY SEEMS LIKE ITS CLOSE TO REALITY #I think this controversy would benefit from ppl who dislike jason seeing jason as the ‘lesser evil’ instead of just ‘evil’ bc then that #would be so much more interesting ! he’s still a bad guy and u can still dislike him but at least for good reasons

[irisbaggins]

Spoilers ahead, y'all!

Whilst I did make a post about timelines and possible magic and extension of life, somehow, the simple explanation escaped me completely. Especially as someone who lives in Norway, where Winter is half of the year.

When were Lila and Jaysohn born, if they knew their dad half their life? Early Winter. Geoffrey probably died sometime right before Spring, where the snow is still thick and the air still freezing. Let's say, if the plot of the story takes place in September-October, Geoffrey died in March-April, with the kids born around December-January. It would, actually, explain everything. We know, from Viola, that these stoats don't follow normal stoat mating patterns; Viola is having her kids in Autumn. Therefore, who's to say Tula couldn't have Lila and Jaysohn in Winter? They're sapient creatures, who can think and plan. We also get the small glimpse that Tula knows that they may have some control over when they get pregnant, but not always. Who's to say it didn't happen to her, too? What if, that Winter was where Tula gained so much, and nearly lost everything in one moment.

Although, I still believe Ava is overestimating her own age just so she can get away with more things.

#text_loke #meta from loke #Burrow's End #Burrow's End Spoilers #Burrows End #Burrows End Spoilers #Dimension 20 #Dimension 20 Spoilers #i still like my earlier theory. but this one fits more nicely. and i like it more #as someone who experienced the Cold in September-October and how their joints became painful. yeah #we can even have winter 'til May. which is why Northern bunads are thick and warm #it be SNOW in May sometimes #i'm just confused how people can be confused tbh. i was so focused on Normal Stoats to focus on the in-story stoats #they're magic and sapient. why can't they just...be pregnant any time of the year? #also means Thorn met Viola in spring. which feels poetic #ava is a troll and making herself older on purpose #aabria's mind is bloody wonderful. this story crafted is beautiful #and whatever explaination is true i am just happy to experience it all #i love this world so much

[transgendermilesprower]

i keep thinking about how they use sonic advance 3 in particular in the one flashback in sonic prime, it's because that's where 'unbreakable bond' originates from!

Sonic and Tails' unbreakable bond is so important to sonic (the character and the series)

#sonic prime spoilers #unbreakable bond #sonic the hedgehog #miles tails prower #sonic prime #warning: i am about to ramble and the topic changes like 4 times and i am now too lazy to delete it all and make it into it's own post #i love sonic prime so so so much and i love how much it focus on sonic and tails' brotherhood #tails doesnt get much focus in the entire sonic series surprisingly #for being the literal 'luigi' of the series (little brother/player 2 to the main character) #and lots (not all) people often sideline or minimize the importance of their friendship #either for shipping reasons (invalid reason imo) or because they don't really care for tails (also invalid reason imo) #i love how much love to tails and amy prime gives. because despite how important to the series they are they get sidelined quite a bit #tbh the sidelining is worse for amy if you include fanworks too #amy is like the poster child of the main female character who gets hated on for 'getting in the way' of a fandom gay ship #and the effects of that are still felt now #people STILL act like that now and it makes me so sad!!! #i love amy so much. shes such a sweetheart. she just sometimes acts like the 12 year old girl she is and fandoms hate that #but yeah this is another reason why sonic tumblr is the best side of the fandom because i haven't seen people act like that- #- about amy here for a good 7 or so years

[visdiefje]

Upstairs neighbour has been home a suspicious amount lately

#it was awesome when you were gone constantly can you do that again. #flutters my eyelashes #I'm less bothered by him audibly stomping around but I still hear it and it still stops me from falling asleep smh #I've said this before but next time either my upstairs neighbour is some elderly lady #OR I don't have upstairs neighbours. cause it's ridiculous sometimes #part of it is him being loud as fuck at frankly inconsiderate times (WHAT are you moving around loudly at 3 AM?) #but part of it is him just literally Existing in his own house #tbh if he ever moves out I would love his apartment. #bien rambles

[fyorina]

there is nothing more heartbreaking as an older sister for your younger brother to call you at 3:30 am drunk and crying because there’s too much pressure on him and too many high expectations that he feels like he’s not living up to and not being able to do anything about it 🥲

#like i’ve been there 🥲 i’m STILL there tbh 🥲 and it makes me so sad that he’s dealing with all of the same stuff that i have to #our parents have always expected so much out of us it’s so suffocating sometimes #and i just feel so shitty bc i don’t know how to help because you know ?? no one ever helped me like #i can tell him the things i wished ppl told me back then but i know it won’t help #not really #and he was crying because he has no one to talk to about it because his friends & frat brothers don’t get it and just blow it off #and he was like ‘i just didn’t know who else to call i just can’t keep it all in anymore’ 🥲 #like how am i not supposed to cry bro #begged me not to tell my parents or our younger sibling because he doesn’t want to disappoint them #i’m just so 🥲

[green-mountain-goose]

.

#I'm genuinely just so fucking angry at the abuse i went through and still am #Idk tbh if you described it as anything else you'd be lying #It's fucking 3.38am and I'm just so fucking pissed off #Idk man it's not that fucking hard to be decent normal parents and not tell them to at worst sometimes tell them to kill themselves #Tw vent #Vent #I just idk #I'm so fucking angry #I have no idea how i survived but like #I need to talk to a fucking therapist at some point #Idk man this shit was never okay #I'm so tired of having to basically fight for my life and future #And waiting fucking decades for freedom and a normal life #Just a normal fucking life #That's all I wanted how fucking hard could it be????

[tunapesto]

cosplaying is healing me personally (killing my wallet, also)

#mmmmni love having expensive hobbies HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHAAJHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHYAA #Tbh for most of my life all i did was draw so like #i get surprised when shit costs stuff #w drawing #esp digital it s kind of like an investment #where u buy one device then after that have fun go crazy #w cosplay it's like . paying up Per character and Per accessory which is Yay #amazing even #and then i picked up cooking #it's consumable so obviously . youd have to buy shit all the time #im just very . i forgot the word. cautious about my money and end up spending it on dumb shit anyway #i am a hoarder at heart #but also deeper inside said heart is just a monkey brain that smiles when yellow color sad when blue color etc #simple minded activities of a person trying to feel something after being numb for a long time #also trying new hobbies because i fear the passion i had for drawing has been spent #i still do it because its what i do best and itd be a waste #but like yeah i kind of hate it sometimes #its cool when it turns out nice then a few hrs later i dont wanna look at it ever againnnnnnnnn #truthfully #i want to restart my brain #maybe itll do better on its 2nd try

[transingthoseformers]

The first little while after Optimus got the Plague™️, Ratchet must have been hovering so much. Optimus so much as clears his vents and Ratchet drags his aft to the medbay. The kids pick up on this immediately and 100% meme about it for a while. Optimus is just oh Primus not again- Ratchet old friend, I promise I am well— mecha, I require assistance and everyone just shrugs like "Ehhh, c'est la vie?"

Optimus is just. Halp

#skdfjvm #yes i am correct on this #yes this post is based on me still having the Affliction™️ and hacking my lungs up #(let me be dramatic) #tfp au #transformers #maccadam #tfp optimus prime #tfp ratchet #transformers prime #look i love using random French sometimes #this applies to tfp in general tbh tbh #~scene~