#people STILL act like that now and it makes me so sad!!!

[cemeterything]

This isn't a gotcha, so please don't take it as such, but would yuou be willing to explain what it is about VAL that makes her such a favourite of yours? I can't stand her myself, she comes across to me as a bully given god-like power that she abuses for her own amusement, and I've seen you acknowledge as much, but we draw completely different conclusions from that. I just want to understand your perspective.

i've been anticipating a question like this for a while now, so i'm more than happy to answer for you!

you're right, VAL is in some ways a "bully given godlike power" as you put it, and there's no avoiding that (nor do i want to). and yeah, i do like her in part because of that, because i have a fondness for horrible fictional characters and in particular "bad victim" archetypes, of which VAL certainly is one. but i think what makes her compelling to me, rather than repulsive, is that she is fundamentally a cautionary tale and a tragedy. in-universe, she's the scapegoat. the example. the "make the right choices or this could be you". she's inescapably, heartbreakingly human in her awfulness, and that makes her terrifying, but it also makes her deeply sad (at least to me).

i also strongly believe in rehabilitative/restorative justice, so for me, wanting better for VAL is about my real-world principles to a degree. i can't and won't argue that VAL doesn't function as an uncomfortable allusion to a lot of atrocious crimes against humanity (by humanity) within the narative, and that anyone who finds her upsetting or even hateful for these reasons is absolutely justified in doing so. however, she's still a fantasy entity at the end of the day. she's not a 1:1 stand-in for real-world abuses any more than, say, a vampire or werewolf, which plenty of people are more than happy to explore the nuances of. and there's also the question of what punitive measures would even achieve in her case, beyond personal satisfaction for the one administering or spectating them (which is not to say that wanting to punch VAL makes you as bad as she is, just that her arc is, among other things, about how cycles of abuse and violence perpetuate). the worst that could possibly happen to her has already happened. she's been tortured. she's been taken advantage of for her mistaken belief that working for and with the system has the opportunity to benefit her, and died for it. there's nothing to be "learned" from her punishment that hasn't already been shown to us. that she hasn't already internalised. if she were ever to develop a stable conscience, that would be punishment enough in my opinion.

despite being a victim of people not entirely unlike VAL, i personally am not her victim, so treating her with sympathy and kindness whilst acknowledging the elephant in the room that is her many (fictional) war crimes is not something that requires any cognitive dissonance on my behalf. i would cautiously argue that the narrative agrees with me somewhat in this regard - the few times VAL is treated to a genuine act of kindness with no ulterior motives, it shatters her composure and outward conviction that what she's doing is necessary for her personal satisfaction, and even prompts her to reconsider on occasion (sparing the woodsman comes to mind). i'm not saying anyone needs to hug her and tell her she's valid, but if all it takes is some genuine good intent to get her to engage in introspection, i'm willing to be the person to offer it.

#ummmmm yeah. i like her. thank you so much for the ask though! id been wanting to talk about this #VAL thesiltverses

[tiredfox64]

Hide and peek part 2? Pretty please?? 🥺 (btw I really love your writing style it's so unique)

Tag, You’re Mine

Prior notes: Sorry for not posting yesterday. I died because of the heat, got to talk with the Lord finally, and then he sent me back down because it wasn’t my time yet.

Pairing: Bi-Han x Afab reader

Warnings ‼️: Some days I am forced to eat food with no seasoning. That’s not a warning it’s just sad.

Oh what’s wrong? Nothing to look at today? Not at all? Is it because Bi-Han caught you? I see. Well, my dear, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. You are one of many who would do whatever to get a peek at that gorgeous, icey man. Don’t give up on the game now. He’s willing to play.

You were embarrassed that you were caught sneaking peeks at Bi-Han before. Things would have been fine if he hadn’t found you and forced you to speak. You were content with keeping your fantasies about him in your head and not make them a reality. It would have been easier than going up to him and talking. He didn’t seem like a man who did much talking.

Just because you were caught didn’t mean you would stay away from the Fire Temple forever. You still wanted to see Liu Kang. But instead of hiding and seeking, you were running away from the one you used to seek. See you pulled a sneaky on him.

Now it was Bi-Han who was looking for you. At first he thought you would still be looking at him from a distance. He would look around, acting like he doesn’t care and pretending he isn’t looking for you, only to see that you were nowhere in sight. Not a strand of your hair or the rustling of leaves to indicate you were anywhere near. That was disappointing to him. His not so secret admirer was not admiring him.

“Looking for your admirer, brother?” Kuai Liang teased his older brother. When else would he get a chance like this.

Bi-Han groaned before at his brother’s teasing, “I am not. What is taking Liu Kang so long? How long are we expected to linger?”

He tried changing the topic away from the fact that he was looking for you. He paced around while occasionally looking in the direction of your usual hiding spots. Still nothing. He was getting impatient with you. This is unlike you. He wants his shy girl back!

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

You were still around. You were just doing other things. Like right now you were organizing books inside the temple. You actually found some that you would like to read some day. But first to organize them.

Put some in that corner. Maybe some on the lower shelf. Oh this one is supposed to go on the top shelf. Just reach up and—OH MY FUCKING GOSH HE’S BACK!

Yes, when you looked up to try to put the last book on the top shelf you realized Bi-Han snuck up behind you again. He was looking down at you with that usual grumpy expression he had. And just like the last time he snuck up behind you, you let out a yelp which alerted everyone that once again he found you.

“Stop yelling!” He growled as his hands covered his ears.

“I’m sorry…” You whispered as you started to covered your face with the book.

Yup, that’s you all right. Shy as can be, unable to face Bi-Han still. Your cheeks were burning as you were unsure of what to do now. You tried to shuffle your way out but he caged you in. Your back was pressed up against the bookcase. His arms were at your side. You really have no escape unless you wanna try smacking him. I wouldn’t recommend it.

“Put that book down and look at me.” He commanded.

You slid the book down a little to show your eyes. No, no, he wants to see your whole face.

Bi-Han yanked the book out of your hands and placed it on the top shelf. There, now he can see you. He watched as your eyes shifted around. You wanted to look some place else but Bi-Han would always be at the corner of your eye. And looking forward won’t help either. Staring at people’s chests is rude.

“So…you need anything?” You asked because you legit didn’t know why he was here or what he wanted.

“Where have you been? You are clearly still around yet you purposely try to avoid me.”

He always sounds upset but this time he seemed really upset. He didn’t hate that you had a crush on him. It was cute and the shyness was a somewhat bonus. It’s not a bonus when he has a hard time trying to make you talk.

“You wanted me to come looking for you? That’s strange.” Clearly you were confused.

“Ironic that those words are coming from the woman who was constantly looking at me from a distance.” Oh he called you out.

So what now? He found you. How will this play out? Well, you really didn’t think this far ahead. I’m not even sure Bi-Han did either. You were too embarrassed to ever encounter him again. Knowing he knew you were looking at him the whole time makes you smack your forehead constantly. It was so humiliating! But you did like that you got to see his features up close. Those cheek bones oooo.

Hey! Hey! Focus on the game plan!

“Why do you even want me to come looking for you?”

You stumped him with that question. He didn’t think you would be brave enough to do that. He had no answer ready because he doesn’t know the answer to that.

The truth is he did find you and your actions to be cute. Might also be the fact that he doesn’t come across many ladies in his life nor will he give them the time of day. So in a strange way you are a little brave for pursuing him in your own way.

“I don’t need to explain myself to you. Just come with me.”

Bi-Han grabbed your wrist and started dragging you with him. Your mind goes blank as you’re unsure of what he wants you to do. He takes you into the other part of the temple where his brothers and Liu Kang are. They were waiting for him to come around so they could discuss the next mission. Liu Kang looked with great curiosity at the actions that were taking place. Bi-Han left you at the doorway and walked over to his brothers. He stared at you, waiting for you to do what you do best. Hide.

Due to habits and your nervousness you started hiding yourself near the doorway, peeking your head in so you could keep looking at Bi-Han. It was like rolling a blunt you never forget how to do it.

Now he was satisfied. He started looking at Liu Kang now, waiting impatiently for the god to talk. The god was too stunned to speak. A few blinks and now he started briefing them on the mission. Tomas leaned over to Kuai Liang to whisper something.

“That poor girl, Bi-Han won’t ever let her go now.”

“Pay attention!” Bi-Han yelled before punching Tomas at the back of the head.

You’re reminded of why you hid from him in the first place. It was his temper and cold demeanor that scared you off but not enough to be at a distance. Yet as you watched him punch his adopted brother you still can’t help but be drawn to that sexy man.

That’s exactly what he wants. He wants your admiration while also having the chance to get close to you. He likes having you as his admirer. He’ll keep you around for a while. Maybe even bring you back to the Lin Kuei Temple so you can do the same over there while he trains his clan. That will surely get you excited.

Do you think you can handle the cold?

After notes: Wish me luck since I have my asl final tonight. And if somehow y’all hated this don’t curse me tonight ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡. Also how come i didn’t know there was a Goth/Rave color palette that is perfect for me. Alright I must mentally prepare myself. Adiós!

#mortal kombat #mk1 #mortal kombat 1 #mortal kombat1 #mortal kombat x reader #mortal kombat x you #mk x reader #mk x you #mk fanfic #bi han x you #bi han x reader #bi han mk #bi han sub zero #bi han mortal kombat #bi han #sub zero x you #sub zero x reader #sub zero

[strangestofthings12]

This is going to be a very rambling and venty post cause im tired and annoyed and honestly am just using this to vent my anger/hurt. there is going to be stuff that can maybe be seen as anti tommy/bucktommy (please dont tell me a ship name to put i dont care about if they do have an agreed upon ship name right now) so if you dont want that please just move on. i dont want to fight i just want to yell into the void on a stupid throw away account so i dont bring my negativity stew and come out on my main blog where i just want to enjoy my stuff and just keep happy energy. I dont normally post and try and just find someone who explains it better because im not great and getting what im saying across or understood the way i want, so please bear with me. With that said i will move on to what i want to say

Okay so i have been watching 9-1-1 for years and i love and adore it. Its characters and dynamics and i have always loved found family. Now i will admit that i started watching it thinking that Buck and Eddie were a couple and had a son so i was kinda watching for it. Do i think if i didn't start watching thinking that i would ship them still yes 100%. I have always loved their relationship and i have loved watching both Buck and Eddie grow and start to be happy while also having each others back even at the worst times. Sometimes if i think to hard about Eddie and start crying cause I'm very normal about this show and it characters. Now Eddie is my favorite character in the show and at least in my top five overall favorite characters. I love him and his development and i adore seeing how much he does to just do right by Chris even when he messes up you can tell how much he adores that boy and how badly he wants to give Chris the best life possible. I could write essays about Eddie Diaz trying to explain how much i love him and why and i think words would run out before i could finish making people understand. Buddie is my favorite ship (sometimes second depending on my mood. i would say sorry but Henren and Madney will always be amazing ships and sometimes i just cant stop think about them)(Sorry Bathena i love you too i swear i just cant decide if i wanna kiss athena or be adopted by bobby and athena:( Its confusing) and has been for quite awhile and is one of my overall favorites and its one of my comfort ships.

With that context when bi Buck happened i was so insanely happy and i wouldnt shut up about it. it made me sick. i was so happy for Buck and while i think a part of me will always be a little sad Eddie wasnt his first kiss with a guy i dont think either of them are ready for that. i also understand that it wouldnt make sense for how the story is going right now. Now i have nothing against bucktommy in the show. I have watched the kiss scene and sobbed to much to pretend like i hate them or even dislike them. However I genuinely dont care about Tommy. Hes kinda bland and i forget about him half the time and before they brought him back i completely forgot his name. in my mind he was the one that wasnt as much of an asshole to chim and hen as the other two assholes which wasnt saying a lot. Now I dont dislike tommy nor am i going to act like hes irredeemable because neither Chim nor Hen seem to think hes still that guy and while they dont seem super close they seem to get along so clearly, he's not like that anymore. I have nothing that makes me dislike him nor do I like him. He's just there. He's just the guy buck kissed. Thats all he means to me. I would give up his screen time for Ravi or May or Karen in a heartbeat. because i love them cause they mean something to me. I don't think i thought about the fact that people might actually like him especially not more than EDDIE.

This is where the context matters cause i am to my core a one ship per person girly. I might see a ship and people who like it and even think thats not a terrible ship but i will still only look at content for my ship for that person (ie. i ship Destiel (dont say anything bad about them ill cry<3) but i can see the way someone would also ship Dean and Benny or crowley or Cas and Crowley or Mick but i will ignore the ship and move on and look at more Dean and Cas). normally i will just ignore the ship and move on because im not who its for. If it gets annoying in my tag or anything like that ill block it or whoever is annoying me cause its not a them problem that i dont want to see it. When i start to have a problem is when multiple people arent tagging right for whatever reason or people who are being rude about the ship i like because of their ship. When I started seeing Bucktommy stuff more and more in the 9-1-1 tag i went to the buddie tag cause i dont want to see them. my problem is that when im reading on AO3 and click on a fic tagged Buddie where bucktommy get married. it was literally just hurting Eddie. There was stuff before like id be scrolling though the buddie tag here and see someone saying that Tommy is a better character then Eddie and saying that they hope bucktommy is endgame. Whatever block and move on. Just like always but then people who have shipped buddie for years who ive seen talk about them are suddenly saying that they like bucktommy better. People who started watching because of bucktommy saying they dont like Eddie. People are going to have different opinions but it still bugged me. and then i read that and i was just hurt because it was tagged happy ending and i cannot fathom ever thinking Eddie hurting and pining is a happy ending. So i started to get more annoyed and i hate when that happens especially with a show i love and a character i dont dislike so i tried to just move on but more and more people are taking about it then i saw someone saying that they wanted eddie to die so buck and tommy can have Chris.

I just hate that so many people are jumping on the bucktommy train and saying that they like it better than buddie something that is so good and sweet or saying that they like Tommy more than Eddie. I just dont get it cause Tommy is boring. like yeah we now some about him and he flies a helicopter but hes forgettable he could be a completely different person and next to nothing would have to change. We have seen Eddie at his worst and claw his way back up and hes finally letting himself be open and honest and soft. Eddie couldnt be replaced. Now im not saying Tommy can't be an interesting character but as he is right now?? He just isnt. Hes just as bland as every women (minus Taylor and Shannon) Buck and Eddie have dated and been hated on for no reason!!! Like i get that Tommy is a guy and we got canon Bi Buck and people are happy but those same people turn around and shit on Marisol from what ive seen(I could be wrong cause again i have done my best to avoid). Buddie fans arent safe from that either, cause we all know that Buddie fans do that but so many of those people who hated on them and said they didnt want them with anyone else suddenly decided that they were okay if Buck ended up with any guy. I dont know its just weird and i hate how many people are acting like Eddie isnt always going to be better then Tommy. Part of me wanted Tommy to stick around and help Buck and Eddie figure it all out but now?? i honestly just cant wait for him to be gone cause I want to have fun and read fics for my comfort ship and just chill where i can see all of my ships in the show without buck and tommy being everywhere or people saying crap about Eddie.

I have more to say but most of its about how gratifying waiting and seeing where this whole thing goes(Buddie season 8 PLEASE!!) and this is already why to long and i think im just going in circles and none of this makes sense so ima shut up for now and hopefully this will help it not fester and drive me insane and become a tommy hater

Edit: but i also hate that Tommy calls Buck Evan so he already had some stuff against him rip

#911 #buddie #anti bucktommy #i guess?? #i dont know #i dont know what to tag this and just hope i dont upset anyone #anti tommy kinard #again i guess #but not really?? #let me know if i need to add any tags:)

[shysuccubusstuff]

obssessed! childe pt. 1

Content: Female anatomy, obssession, dubcon (the reader does love Childe, and Childe loves reader, I just love writing yandere males).

Note: The potion that Childe uses is more like a "tell the truth potion", meaning the person will act/say whatever they actually think abt the person, if they do not say it they will start to feel light/mild effects, these effects vary from each person.

Note 2: I was planning on doing a single part but the text was getting too long and I've been cooking this for way too much time cause i have no time to write...

I don't think you are able to understand the surprise Childe felt when he arrived to Inazuma, all with the objective of analyzing a little the situation of Inazuma (while also keeping an eye on Scaramouche), just a small and fast trip, then he would be able to go back to Snezhnaya, rest a little while waiting for the next quest given by the Tsaritsa. While at his stay, he found the different posters that talked about the rock festival that was being planned, and despite this did not catch his interest at first, he received some letters from the Tsaritsa, explaining to him how this would be a good opportunity to check how the people of Inazuma actually felt after the whole "now-we-are-mostly-free" situation. So he agreed, waiting patiently until the even finally took place, he decided to take a walk around Inazuma, just checking the different restaurants and small stalls that were sitting around the streets. He was checking some of the newest items added to the menu when he saw something, well, more like someone. There you were, as pretty as he remembered, you hair shinning thanks to the sun rays that were falling on top of your head. You were smiling...maybe more like laughing, which made you even prettier to be honest. While he stood there, menu still in his hand, he noticed another person, a huge man with long white hair, marks all over his body, he seemed to be quite strong, but taking into account that there was a huge ball of some kind of dessert in front of his feet, he did not seem to be the most brilliant persons that you had been able to meet. While analyzing this man, you suddenly hit him on his shoulder, your body being unable to keep still due to the huge laugh that you were trying to contain (this was useless, as you can see). He threw out what was left of the dessert and started to tickle you, making your own dessert fall to the floor. Now, what the heck was up with that? You barely allowed him to touch you, always saying "Childe, I still don't trust you fully" but a completely new man was able to do so? Yeah, he may have tried to drown you (and the whole city of Liyue) but weren't you being unfair? He stated his reasons and tried to be as kind as possible, giving you as much money as you wanted and even talking to his family about you (the pretty traveller with a fierce heart and a great attitute) but while he was doing that you went around meeting new men?

He quickly left the menu somewhere around the stall, going to where you stanted in a fast pace, but just as he was about to snap at the random man he composed himself, his friendly (yet dangerous) smile was back in his lips, he suddenly put one of his hands on your shoulder, causing you to suddenly jump. The other man slowly stopped, his red eyes looking to his blue eyes, even the expression that was in his face made him look like a complete dork, you changed him for some dull white-haired man? He may not be the most sane person, and yes, he may have a little problem with fighting you, but didn't you two have something? God, he was starting to get furious once again, but he kept the act, face as cool as a cucumber and a relaxed body language. "Hey traveller, long time no see, how have you been?" He only kept his eyes fixated on you, ignoring the existance of Itto for a moment. "I've been missing you like crazy, Teucer has been asking me about you and he was so sad that we have not been able to meet for such a long time!" Your expression got a little ankward, you knew Childe was doing it on purpose, turning his back while not allowing him to enter the conversation. "Oh hey... I didn't know you were going to come here to Inazuma, I've been fine, I was able to make some good friends here in Inazuma, this is Itto, he is the best at onikabuto fights!" Itto seemed to pump his chest, probably full of proud as for that... achivement? Childe smiled, the vein at his neck still pumped, cause what did he expect when he left you alone? All those dirty men probably tried to get to your pretty head with their dumb tactics, yeah, this dude may seem more innocent, but of course he was just like all the others.

Once again, he tried to compose himself, carefully getting his hand around your waist, Itto's eyes did notice, and as he felt how the pressure was getting bigger, he suddenly shifted his eyes, looking at some vague point. "Oh uhm... I forgot I just have this meeting... yeah, the one with the gang you know? Oh shoot, how could I forget? I gotta get going, see ya around compadre!" Itto left like the wind, running as fast as possible to get further away from that strange man who kept looking at him like some kind of prey.

"Oh, lady, why did your friend leave? I was about to invite him to some of the most beautiful places I was able to find... But I would first invite you to the great cuisine at some of the restaurants from Inazuma!" Childe smiled brightly, his enemy was no longer at sight, so of course he should try to keep his act of the "good guy". So he did, he invited to Inazuma's cuisine, even being so good as to get up himself and bringing your food to the table, even adding a special potion created in Mondstadt and carefully mixing it between your food. As he did not enjoy some unfair sparring, he did mix that potion with his own food, after all, if it did have some kind of harmful effects he should also be the one facing them. "Sorry for taking so long, I found some issues with the plate, so I had to ask them to change it!" He carefully explained, leaving each of the plates in the sides, together with the rest of plates that had already been served, just when you finally took a bite of all the food was he finally happy, smile shining as bright as the sun. When the dinner finally ended, he carefully took your hand, leading to the residence that you had been staying at, it was quite old for his liking, but he did find it enchanting, it was the place where you slept after all.

It took him some time to get you to bed, as the potion only seemed to make you drunk in some way body hot and tembling hands. He carefully laid you in bed, tucking you in with a lot of care and leaving a soft kiss on your forehead. He was kind of dissapointed with the drink, but he supposed that this was better than having some bad reaction to it. Just as he was about to leave the bedroom and head to his hotel, he felt a soft pull, your hand was around his wrist, your eyes looked just like a puppy, begging for him to not leave. At first he was quite hesitant, you were not in your right mind, and despite how much he would love to give you the thing you begged so much, he did have some moral compass. But your pretty eyes were melting him, and the sweet things that were leaving your lips did not help him either, so he gave in.

His body starting to burn up, was it because of the potion? It seemed that the potion did have a slower effect in him, as he was ok just a few minutes ago. His mind was starting to get a little fuzzy, so he slowly laid on bed, allowing you to get on top of him. "Ojou-chan...never did I think I would be able to have such a beautiful woman on top of me, not only beautiful, but a woman strong enough to defeat me..." His cocky smile on his lip only caused you to feel even stronger the urge to shut him up with a kiss, so you did, lips on top of each other and hands all over his body, playful hands going under his shirt, body hot to the touch due to the hot temperature of Inazuma at that time. "Aren't you been a little too cocky, lady?" You smile, still being completely under the effects of the potion. You pull away from him, looking at his flusthered face and getting closer to him, bitting and kissing his neck and hearing him let some breathy moans out of his pretty lips. "I'm trying to go easy on you, lady... But you have seen to learn some pretty mischiveous tactics while we were far apart..." He still had that cocky expression, even despite the fact that he was in a much worse state than you. He once again smiled, carefully putting his hands around your hips and massaging that place. He slowly kissed your face, peppering soft lips all around your cheeks and nose. "You're so naughty today, traveller..." Despite his lustful eyes, he kept treating you soft, something completely opposite to how he usually acted, all high and confident, being unafraid of being too rough when you fought each other. Childe's hands slowly moved upwards, pulling out the soft clothes that were covering your body, your skin shinning thanks to the moonlight that entered through the window in the room. "You're so pretty... so so pretty... I wish I could just hide you in my pocket,,, I want my family to meet you as soon as possible..." He kept peppering kisses all over your body, from your shoulders to your tummy, what was up with him? "Ajax... what is going on?..." He simply looked at you like a small puppy, kissing your lips and giving no answer to your question. He slowly got rid of his own clothes, leaving both of you completely naked, slowly analyzing all and each of your gaps and pretty features.

"I'm sorry, lady... I am at my limit and I don't think I can keep much longer... didn't think that the stuff that that damn old man gave me would be so strong..." The creepy face of the other member of the Fatuis almost caused him to flinch, but he just chose to focus on the moment, lowkey thanking him for the chance of such a "dashing" encounter with his dear rival (lover as well).

#childe #genshin smut #smut #ajax x reader #x reader #fanfic #genshin impact #genshin impact headcanons #tartaglia #genshin #childe tartaglia ajax #fanfiction #genshin x reader #genshin impact smut #genshin imagines

[transgendermilesprower]

i keep thinking about how they use sonic advance 3 in particular in the one flashback in sonic prime, it's because that's where 'unbreakable bond' originates from!

Sonic and Tails' unbreakable bond is so important to sonic (the character and the series)

#sonic prime spoilers #unbreakable bond #sonic the hedgehog #miles tails prower #sonic prime #warning: i am about to ramble and the topic changes like 4 times and i am now too lazy to delete it all and make it into it's own post #i love sonic prime so so so much and i love how much it focus on sonic and tails' brotherhood #tails doesnt get much focus in the entire sonic series surprisingly #for being the literal 'luigi' of the series (little brother/player 2 to the main character) #and lots (not all) people often sideline or minimize the importance of their friendship #either for shipping reasons (invalid reason imo) or because they don't really care for tails (also invalid reason imo) #i love how much love to tails and amy prime gives. because despite how important to the series they are they get sidelined quite a bit #tbh the sidelining is worse for amy if you include fanworks too #amy is like the poster child of the main female character who gets hated on for 'getting in the way' of a fandom gay ship #and the effects of that are still felt now #people STILL act like that now and it makes me so sad!!! #i love amy so much. shes such a sweetheart. she just sometimes acts like the 12 year old girl she is and fandoms hate that #but yeah this is another reason why sonic tumblr is the best side of the fandom because i haven't seen people act like that- #- about amy here for a good 7 or so years

[icewindandboringhorror]

Bad news, got back from the vet and my beautiful baby son is going to have to be put down soon, probably tomorrow or the next day, so send him best of wishes for his next few days~ Luckily, he's actually not in a lot of pain (for now, hopefully he won't be) and is acting pretty normal, so I'm hoping he won't suffer at all and everything will be peaceful for him.

#pet death tw #death mention #let me know if I need any other tags #I would post something to help pay for his euthanasia expenses or etc. but I don't know of any secure methods #since I don't know much about stuff like that. I've heard that like on paypal and ebay and stuff people can still get your real name #and some information from their payment receipts or whatever sutff like that. thats part of why I've held off on selling clothes and sculpt #res for so long is trying to find a way to do it that's the most safe. aside from literall yhaving to start an llc and open a business bank #account and run everything on an entirely sepreate thing just so it has no association with my name and etc. #and obviouskly I don't feel like figuring out all of that stuff right now lol #I am busy just trying to make my beautiful meatloaf son comfortable and spend some time with him whilst I can #It's sad. but I'm glad the issues were caught before he was in terrible pain or anything. So suprisingly it was actually a pretty easy #decision. I would rather him go out while he's feeling okay and relatively content then wait until he's in severe #pain or extremely lethargic or etc. So it seems all very sudden but . It's better that way for him. #anyway #of COURSE this has to happen during a heat wave also.. hhrgghhh... #more fuel for my vendetta against summer lol.. Not that it's the season's fault but. something bad happening in the winter #vs. seomthing bad happening in the summer which just adds an extra layer of 'oh yeah on top of everything else #you're going to be sweating and nauseous and chronically uncomfortable!' is like.. >:T #Also for him. part of the issue is lung cancer which has spread and caused a bunch of fluid to build up in his stomach (which is what I #noticed. even though he's acting perfectly fine and normal his stomach was weird and bloated suddenly) #but if part of the problem is his lungs (which look absolutely crazy on xray) then him breathing in hot shitty thick air is definitely #not as comfortable as if he were able to be nice and cool and snuggled in some blankets. etc. etc. #ANYWAY ghhb... send him much luck and positivity!! Really hoping he can make it through the next day or so without #taking a turn for the worst. So hopeing for a peaceful quiet exit and not like tramatic sudden things. etc. etc. #cross your fingers pray to your gods whisper to the night sky so on and so forth. whatever you do that's meaningful to you.

[hecksupremechips]

Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over

Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰

#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually #very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds #like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd #but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga #and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit #and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’ #which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road #its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16! #he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control #which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’ #so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way #like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health #i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to #be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident! #so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game #is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me #cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused #but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone #like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways #and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed #but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child #shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING #HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY #like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work #apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs #his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be #better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy #and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad #how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel #makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired

[ghostcrows]

that damn web comic is rattling around in my brain ...

#i just felt smacked in the face with a mirror reality something i could see not only myself but so many other people i know/have known in #with a frighteningly sharp precision #some of the people in whn look IDENTICAL to real life friends or exes or people i knew in high school or coworkers #i sent it to my friend and he said 'i feel like this HAPPENED to someone i know' #i keep thinking about that awful feedback loop of mental illness isolation and social media addiction #but its so much more complicated than 'touch grass' like you could shoot all these peoples phones #and theyd just turn to something equally toxic and retraumatizing and self-flagellating #they already show this because they have ed's and self harm and abuse substances and spend money they dont have #the chronic online-ness is a symptom not the disease #the thing that makes me a little sick is how much i relate to milo refusing to delete his tumblr even after everything #i have had instances in my life where posting on tumblr was actively making my life worse or harder or getting in the way of real shit #and i still use it as a crutch in the worst of times #its just funny cuz its this thing that saves you from riskier vices while still obviously perpetuating those things #because its a place that reflects You so heavily #you reblog sad shit cause youre sad and it makes you sadder #you wanna self harm you see people post their cutting pics now you feel like its not so weird or bad #its making me ask questions like 'am i stunted' 'what does it mean to be stunted' and then of course #when is someone 'acting like a victim' and just A Victim and can you do both and what does that mean #man....

[to-dance-beneath-the-diamond-sky]

I know it’s international asexuality day and we’re supposed to be proud of being ace and all. But idk. That’s hard when I really really hate that I’m ace. Being a cisgender heteroromantic sex-repulsed ace is not exactly a fun or positive experience for me. It is just me feeling lonely and defective and wrong all the fucking time. Like that’s genuinely great for all the aces and aro people out there who love it and can take pride in it. You’re valid and you’re not broken and I’m happy for you that you can embrace and celebrate this part of your identity, I genuinely am. But for me personally, I would give just about anything to not be ace, I hate it so much. Being ace has never not once done a single good for me.

#I’m sorry #but I just want to be normal #Yeah yeah yeah I know internalized acephobia and all that #but idk #being ace has genuinely never resulted in a single good thing for me #very very hard not to hate it when it only ever makes life more difficult for you #idk maybe it’s just that it combines with my other trauma and shit but like #I still hate it and would give almost anything to not be this way #I want to be lovable #I want to be able to be in a normal healthy romantic relationship #instead of being terrified of them and sabotaging everything because the person will want to have sex #And the thought of having sex with anyone is literally panic inducing #Anyways #please ignore me #im just being emo and sad #Because I have such an intense crush on someone right now #And I can’t pursue it because I’m ace and he’d want things from me and I’m just. I just can’t #I can’t even talk about being ace to people because no one gets it and it makes me soo uncomfortable to have to talk about it or explain it #so yeah he’s so nice and I really really really like him. But like every other of the few times I’ve been romantically attracted to someone #I’m not gonna act on it because I’m fucking ace and I’m gonna be alone my whole fucking life #Because no one would ever want to be with me given the way I am #God #sorry please just ignore me #Personal

[rosicheeks]

Unfortunately relatable. I grew up in the church and have a lot of Christian trauma from that. I show up for special occasions for my parents… sometimes. But it’s uncomfortable from the moment I step through the door. Bigoted pastor, the self-righteousness disguising the prejudice, the political comments from the altar. Shots at young people left right and center as if the hell on earth wasn’t caused by the same older generation 90% of the congregation belongs to..

I miss being young in the choir and the youth groups and not struggling with it. It’s wild to look back at the younger version of me who was unshakeable in his faith and honestly just saddening.

I was texting my sister today about it and she said

“I 100% think ALL of us have a ton of religious trauma and everyone else in the family just doesn’t realize it cause they’re still drinking the kool-aid.”

I ran out of tag room and didn’t want to delete any 😭 seriously not lying I could write a book about all my thoughts and experiences

#I relate to all of this so much #and it’s so sad how many people truly have religious trauma #I still find myself lucky and privileged cause I know there are stories MUCH worse than mine #it’s really hard cause my parents still think I’m a Christian #honestly at this point I have no clue what i am #even if I end up still being a Christian that doesn’t help or heal all of the years of church trauma #but the hard part is still acting the part for my parents #growing up I always tried to fit into the good Christian girl mold #cause I know that’s what my parents wanted and I didn’t want to disappoint them #but once I started smoking weed and they found out? it went all downhill from there #their perfect angel fell from heaven #and I feel like ever since I haven’t been really their daughter…. I’ve just been living on the outside looking in to everything #it hurts looking back at all the years I spent brainwashed into believing that was the ONLY faith #it genuinely makes me sick to my stomach thinking about the fact that I went to a pro life rally #the thing I was talking to my sister about was how mental health was never talked about in the church #when I started dealing with it and went to my parents or the pastors or any adult really and told them what I was dealing with #wanna know what the first thing they would ALWAYS say? well have you prayed about it? the way they treated mental illness was that it was #YOUR fault cause God is punishing you for something…. that you need to pray or go to church so then God will eventually take it away #and the thing is I don’t necessarily blame my parents (which kinda sucks cause I want to blame someone) #but honestly it’s just the environment they grew up in too… like I’m 99% sure my dad has dealt with depression his entire life #but won’t get diagnosed or anything cause they always believe faith has something to do with it #which makes me incredibly sad cause I just think about how much my dad has suffered and how he didn’t need to #^^ I was typing this out when I was late to my family gathering hahaha but then I think my sister called or something so I had to stop #sorry this post is all over the place - I swear I could write a book about religious trauma #yesterday went ok surprisingly but today? TODAY is going to be so much worse #sure I’ll make a post about it later but I guessssss I should go to bed now? it’s 2am and I have to get up at 5:45 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 #and I have a fuuuuull day of fun Christian festivities while I’m dealing with all of this bottled up and unresolved crap from my past #please don’t get me wrong I love my parents and like I said I don’t blame them - they did their best #it just really sucks wondering what my life would have been like if I didn’t grow up in the church or in a super religious family #I wonder if when I told my parents I was depressed if they would have instantly brought me in to get help

[orcelito]

Having lost my cat, my uncle, my great grandmother, my grandma's best friend (& one of the people who helped raise me), AND my dad all within the span of 9 months,

I have little sympathy for people who use deaths as an excuse to be an asshole. I get it, it sucks. Get the fuck over it. Your grief is not an excuse to treat others like shit. What the fuck.

#speculation nation #this isnt anything personal. im just reacting to a post that kind of pissed me off. #to be fair i was never close with my great grandmother so im not particularly broken up about that one #but it's still yet another death in the family within such a short period of time. #my cat is on this list bc he was the first one and it majorly fucked me up. so yeah it deserves to be here. #the others. well. my grandma's best friend makes me sad but at least she was getting up in years #my uncle and dad though. especially my dad. yea those have fucked me up the most. #im never gonna be the same after experiencing all of this in such short succession. #it sucks in a major way. and things are still continuously tumultuous. #but you dont see me lording it over people and using it as an excuse to be an asshole. #maybe i make people uncomfortable with how casually i mention it. but like whatever. it's simply my truth. #that's still just like. me just talking about what ive been up to. that kind of thing. #idk acting like someone needs to be treated with the most tender of touches after experiencing a major death #to the point where you cant even tell them when theyre being a manipulative little asshole? #i dont fucking think so! #yeah okay all grief hits different but ive pulled myself up by the bootstraps and kept my head on straight #even after i experienced death after death after death after death after Fucking Death #whats your excuse? youre Sad? we all fucking are. thats just life. #it's horrible and awful and it sucks that we have to live with this but you CANT let that affect how you treat other people!!!!! #and here i am making my own post venting about it instead of replying to the aita post that sparked this #bc the person the post was about just made me so angry to hear about. #but i am... a reasonable adult who separates themselves from situations before reacting in anger... #and so im making a tumblr post to get the emotions out instead of getting emotional at random strangers lol #anyways i actually had a pretty good day today. but in the way of grief. the smallest things can trigger moods sometimes. #but i am letting the emotions flow... here they are... i have expressed them... and i shall now release them... amen... #negative/ #i guess lol. i sure did rant enough for it.

[lord-squiggletits]

You know, I think my thing about liking “asshole Megatron” more than “good Megatron” (speaking in terms of IDW1) isn’t just the fact that I find evil Megatron more entertaining and sexy, but that I suppose I don’t like the way good guy/Autobot Megatron’s personality is?

Like mmmm I’m not trying to be one of those people who goes “he’s OOC!” or “he’s such a wimp!” or “he’s evil and doesn’t deserve to be redeemed,” but there was just something slightly grating about the way Megatron is/acts in MTMTE/LL. If I had to pick a word for it, he just seems very... self-pitying? Ratchet said it perfectly while the DJD were attacking and he told Megatron “Oh of course it’s all about you, what a surprise.”

There’s something about Autobot Megatron that makes me hate him as a person, not like in a “haha what a pathetic bastard” way the way I see villain Megatron, but in a way that’s like “god you are so fucking stuck up and annoying” in a non-enjoyable way. Maybe it’s because Autobot Megatron was a last minute plot change and I’m sensing how JRO “forced” Megatron to be part of the narrative last minute? But that would just be a matter of shoddy writing, and MTMTE/LL aren’t shoddily written.

It’s presumptuous to try and assume the motivation of an author, but I guess it kind of feels like JRO was trying so hard to make Megatron a better person that it backfired and made him more unlikeable in my eyes. Like, Megatron’s dialogue about how if he goes back towards violence he’ll never come back out again because the guilt will be too much is poetic yeah, it’s a very cute notion, but the context is that the fucking DJD (who Megatron made) is attacking and killing members of the Lost Light (who Megatron is in charge of) and was it supposed to make me think of Megatron as noble or pitiable or something? Because instead it just pissed me off and made me want to scream “this isn’t fucking about you Megatron, stop being an angsty mope and DO SOMETHING GOOD FOR ONCE instead of crying about how hard it is for you to not enjoy killing people.”

It’s fucking weird because I of course love the concept of redeemable Megatron, and I’m fascinated with the way in which he adopted violence as a coping mechanism for trauma, but the way he’s written in MTMTE/LL just makes him seem more like he’s a self-justifying asshole trying to make pitiable attempts at good deeds than like he’s actually improving as a person. Which of course is a problem caused by the fact that JRO shoved him into the plot last minute and it didn’t actually make sense for Megatron to be on the Lost Light.

#squiggposting #negativity #like deadass i don't get how so many people loooooove mtmte megs because like yeah there are really good moments #but as a person megatron is so annoying and self righteous and kind of whiney and is basically pointless to the plot to begin with #if you took him out of mtmte/ll i don't think the NARRATIVE AS A WHOLE would have lost anything worth keeping #like idk i'm trying really hard to avoid punitive and judgmental language when talking about meg/atron but just #he really really really annoys me the way he acts and how the fandom thinks that he's so precious and sad and such a good person #yeah he's less of a piece of shit than he used to be but he's still kind of a POS lol #he's so out of place in the narrative that JRO had to invent an entire alternate universe just to give him something heroic to do #meg/atron didn't even make reparations in the universe he fucked up #he just got an alternate universe made just for him for him to save instead #that's not justice that's not redemption that's not him compensating for what he did #CONCEPTUALLY YES redeemed megs is good #JRO did indeed do a lot to flesh out megs as a person #but overall he's like so fucking annoying actually and i feel like he's actually so fucking pathetic as an autobot #but everyone else seems to think he's a precious bb who tried so hard and is such a good person now #there are whole armies of meg stans who try to act like he did nothing wrong and he's god's gift to cybertron/the plot #he's really not BUT when i look at the plot of mtmte/ll i say to myself #'i see exactly why the fandom stans see megs the way they do' #because the whole story after megs comes in has this vibe of making excuses for him and trying to soften him #giving him superficial moments and forced plotlines that make him the hero of an entire alternate universe #THE UNIVERSE LITERALLY REVOLVES AROUND WHETHER MEGA EXISTS OR NOT #sure megs is punished in universe by people hating him and going off to be executed at the end #but in terms of structure and aborted plot lines (looking at you mutiny arc) the story bends to soften mega/tron and give him every chance #and it just feels.... cheap #it's one of those things where if i ignore my opinion i can enjoy the story i'm given #but if i look at it with a critical eye i'm like 'this isn't actually Pure Perfection Incarnate and actually kind of annoys me'

[loveletterworm]

suddenly remembered this one time i saw a game on itch.io that i don’t even remember what it was but it’s description included a plea for everyone to stop playing it because they considered it to have ruined their life and they truly hated it.  Inexplicably, the game was still openly available for download, because I suppose the developer lived in a world where it is deeply illegal to use the very easy to use “delete” or “restrict access” functions of websites

#every now and then i see this kind of thing with like youtube comments and stuff like that #where someone will like keep replying to a comment to say ''stop replying to this comment guys it makes me sad :('' but not delete it #for some reason even though its totally possible and not difficult. #but it was strange to see someone who has gone through the entire process of publishing on itchio which has much more steps #but still act totally unaware of the possibility of just Making it so other people cant see the thing anymore #it wasnt in like an ooo spooky arg dont play this game by the way. #it was a ''stop replying to my youtube comment or i'll be sad'' way. i know what these look like #mypost

[crystalkleure]

The amount of times I see people ripping someone apart for “having bad vibes” or “just seeming really rude and mean”...and the person they’re talking about is literally just autistic and typing straightforwardly without a lot of frills. Like they’re straight-up just talking casually and it happens to come out sounding kind of flat. Like, you know, the way I’m typing right now.

Not coincidentally, I am absolutely one of said autistic people who has been repeatedly accused of radiating Bad Vibes due to my Nebulously Wrong And Thus Perceived As Abrasive Tone.

#''You just seem really rude. I don't like the way you type. You rub me the wrong way. I'm going to accuse you of being somehow evil now.'' #I'm just talking...I am speaking completely neutrally over here. Why are you acting like you think I'm plotting to shoot your mother. #.It speaks #This post brought to you by: I just saw a bunch of people absolutely dogpiling a guy for literally just Sounding Too Autistic #That was it. They just didn't like the way he typed. Couldn't even put their finger on why. His ''tone'' just ''seems so RUDE.'' #Meanwhile I'm a little more familiar with the guy and he's like the sweetest friendliest most enthusiastic dude in the world #..............Who happens to be ND. #Same hat spotted immediately #That is EXACTLY what has been done to me so many times. Like the assholes were completely word-for-word saying shit that was said to me. #I will be GENUINELY SUPER HAPPY AND REALLY INTO SOMETHING and people will STILL think I'm being a downer somehow #It makes me sad man

[eoinmcgonigal]

Btw if you enjoyed reading anything I've written, I'm *always* happy to get comments. No expiry date on this.

#i also read tags added to posts reblogged on here XD #bless all comment-leavers on ao3 #and also people who still sometimes comment on my ff.net fic #obviously negative stuff isn't good i write for free as a hobby #and i don't ask for concrit #but even keysmashing lets me know someone had a reaction to the words!! #document type: memo #also being unsubtle as i'm having a hard time with writing just now #and i miss the days where people would talk more to each other about these things bc it would fuel me #i do have a little rule with ongoing fic that i only reply when i upload the next chapter #this is so that the comments don't disappear from my brain and they act as encouragement #but i will *always* be up for talking about fic #the more excited you are for it the more excited i am to write it!!! #so yeah if it seems like no one's really interested or excited it gets kinda lonely and pointless #ah i think i'm complaining now but honestly fandom should be a lot of talking to each other #these days it's mostly reduced to a click or two #and that makes me sad #talk to me!! i love the thing!! and the characters!!! and making stuff happen to them!! #and thinking about them!!

[heartbreakfeelsogood]

#i do not want to work tomorrow i want to lay in bed and be sad #i’m really realizing how miserable of a person i am i am always fucking Sad and when i do feel happy i cry when it’s over #and i can’t even resemble a human being without medication and i know that’s fine but i’m still always sad. it doesn’t go away #i feel like nobody deserves to have me weighing them down like i’ve cried in front of people three times this week and i know it’s fine #but i feel so fucking guilty about it and i feel guilty about everything i feel like i’m doing nothing right and i’m not dealing with thing #right and i’m not living right and i feel like it must be so fucking difficult to love me and i don’t know how people do it #i don’t even feel capable of asking for. any sort of love ever #i feel like i don’t deserve like anything. i feel like nobody actually wants to do things for me lol #every single dsy i’m like wow i want to be held and every single dsy i feel bad even asking for a hug from someone #when i need reassurance i’m afraid to ask because what if i’m just being annoying and overbearing and too much Bad #i never feel like too much good. only bad. #i know a lot of these shitty thoughts are just because i’ve been unmedicated (meds will be ready tomorrow lol) but it just like #it sucks to know medication just kinda hides these thoughts better and that deep down i feel like this because i don’t want to #i feel like everyone in my life doesn’t deserve someone who doubts everything all the time #i think my mother deserved a stronger daughter and i think my friends deserve someone that’s not always breaking and i just don’t feel Good #i don’t know why anyone keeps me around #sometimes i feel selfish for sticking around and that sounds so awful and i’m not gonna act on it but i just feel like a waste of a person #the last week has been so good and now i’m just a fucking mess and i feel so fucking guilty about that :) #i feel like no matter what i always just default to miserable #i don’t feel like i’m doing enough at all #i’m struggling in school i don’t work enough i can barely take care of myself #like i wouldn’t even properly take care of myself if taylor wasn’t helping me i feel so guilty about that all the time #i feel so guilty for even thinking any of this right now and i’m trying to remind myself that i’m unmedicated and i’ve had a long day #and my best fucking friend just went back home and i’m allowed to be sad about that but i just. feel like i’m making excuses i guess #it’s not immoral to be sad but maybe when i’m wanting to die all the time i’m the problem. idk #anyway i’m gonna go to sleep and i’m gonna try to convince myself tomorrow will be better #sndnsksjkakejdkalwosjhdkwosjdjsk. i will be fine