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cookinguptales · 1 year

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So I’ve been enjoying the Disney vs. DeSantis memes as much as anyone, but like. I do feel like a lot of people who had normal childhoods are missing some context to all this.

I was raised in the Bible Belt in a fairly fundie environment. My parents were reasonably cool about some things, compared to the rest of my family, but they certainly had their issues. But they did let me watch Disney movies, which turned out to be a point of major contention between them and my other relatives.

See, I think some people think this weird fight between Disney and fundies is new. It is very not new. I know that Disney’s attempts at inclusion in their media have been the source of a lot of mockery, but what a lot of people don’t understand is that as far as actual company policy goes, Disney has actually been an industry leader for queer rights. They’ve had policies assuring equal healthcare and partner benefits for queer employees since the early 90s.

I’m not sure how many people reading this right now remember the early 90s, but that was very much not industry standard. It was a big deal when Disney announced that non-married queer partners would be getting the same benefits as the married heterosexual ones.

Like — it went further than just saying that any unmarried partners would be eligible for spousal benefits. It straight-up said that non-same-sex partners would still need to be married to receive spousal benefits, but because same-sex partners couldn’t do that, proof that they lived together as an established couple would be enough.

In other words, it put long-term same-sex partners on a higher level than opposite-sex partners who just weren’t married yet. It put them on the exact same level as heterosexual married partners.

They weren’t the first company ever to do this, but they were super early. And they were certainly the first mainstream “family-friendly” company to do it.

Conservatives lost their damn minds.

Protests, boycotts, sermons, the whole nine yards. I can’t tell you how many books about the evils of Disney my grandmother tried to get my parents to read when I was a kid.

When we later moved to Florida, I realized just how many queer people work at Disney — because historically speaking, it’s been a company that has guaranteed them safety, non-discrimination, and equal rights. That’s when I became aware of their unofficial “Gay Days” and how Christians would show up from all over the country to protest them every year. Apparently my grandmother had been upset about these days for years, but my parents had just kind of ignored her.

Out of curiosity, I ended up reading one of the books my grandmother kept leaving at our house. And friends — it’s amazing how similar that (terrible, poorly written) rhetoric was to what people are saying these days. Disney hires gay pedophiles who want to abuse your children. Disney is trying to normalize Satanism in our beautiful, Christian America.

Just tons of conspiracy theories in there that ranged from “a few bad things happened that weren’t actually Disney’s fault, but they did happen” to “Pocahontas is an evil movie, not because it distorts history and misrepresents indigenous life, but because it might teach children respect for nature. Which, as we all know, would cause them all to become Wiccans who believe in climate change.”

Like — please, take it from someone who knows. This weird fight between fundies and Disney is not new. This is not Disney’s first (gay) rodeo. These people have always believed that Disney is full of evil gays who are trying to groom and sexually abuse children.

The main difference now is that these beliefs are becoming mainstream. It’s not just conservative pastors who are talking about this. It’s not just church groups showing up to boycott Gay Day. Disney is starting to (reluctantly) say the quiet part out loud, and so are the Republicans. Disney is publicly supporting queer rights and announcing company-supported queer events and the Republican Party is publicly calling them pedophiles and enacting politically driven revenge.

This is important, because while this fight has always been important in the history of queer rights, it is now being magnified. The precedent that a fight like this could set is staggering. For better or for worse, we live in a corporation-driven country. I don’t like it any more than you do, and I’m not about to defend most of Disney’s business practices. But we do live in a nation where rights are largely tied to corporate approval, and the fact that we might be entering an age where even the most powerful corporations in the country are being banned from speaking out in favor of rights for marginalized people… that’s genuinely scary.

Like… I’ll just ask you this. Where do you think we’d be now, in 2023, if Disney had been prevented from promising its employees equal benefits in 1994? That was almost thirty years ago, and look how far things have come. When I looked up news articles for this post from that era, even then journalists, activists, and fundie church leaders were all talking about how a company of Disney’s prominence throwing their weight behind this movement could lead to the normalization of equal protections in this country.

The idea of it scared and thrilled people in equal parts even then. It still scares and thrills them now.

I keep seeing people say “I need them both to lose!” and I get it, I do. Disney has for sure done a lot of shit over the years. But I am begging you as a queer exvangelical to understand that no. You need Disney to win. You need Disney to wipe the fucking floor with these people.

Right now, this isn’t just a fight between a giant corporation and Ron DeSantis. This is a fight about the right of corporations to support marginalized groups. It’s a fight that ensures that companies like Disney still can offer benefits that a discriminatory government does not provide. It ensures that businesses much smaller than Disney can support activism.

Hell, it ensures that you can support activism.

The fight between weird Christian conspiracy theorists and Disney is not new, because the fight to prevent any tiny victory for marginalized groups is not new. The fight against the normalization of othered groups is not new.

That’s what they’re most afraid of. That each incremental victory will start to make marginalized groups feel safer, that each incremental victory will start to turn the tide of public opinion, that each incremental victory will eventually lead to sweeping law reform.

They’re afraid that they won’t be able to legally discriminate against us anymore.

So guys! Please. This fight, while hilarious, is also so fucking important. I am begging you to understand how old this fight is. These people always play the long game. They did it with Roe and they’re doing it with Disney.

We have! To keep! Pushing back!

#disney #ron desantis #gay rights #lgbt #queer #lgbt history #queer history #homophobia #florida #us politics #religious fundamentalism #christianity #long post #god that should cover all the pertinent tags and content warnings phew

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countrymusiclover · 2 years

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5. Adult Talk...

Part 6

Texas Romance

@tyrionsprincess30

Mrs. Cooper was helping with a wedding for the church pastor. Missy and Sheldon were dealing with holding a chicken in their room. And Georgie's dad had done the talk with us. The day started off normal with Georgie and I went in his room reading one of my adventure books that he just had me read to him.

He had us laying on his bed, his fingers playing with my hair as I read aloud while laying on his chest. Georgie sat up once I'd finished the third book making me confused when he asked out of curiosity. "You wanna listen to music?" I put the book down sliding off his lap, as he slides off the otherside of the bed turning on his radio and finding a good music station.

He turns it up a little high and he holds his hands out for me to take with a boyish grin. I placed my hands in his letting him pull me off the bed to my feet. He wore socks but no shoes and I wore no shoes letting my feet feel the carpet as we danced around unknown to us that having his door closed meant bad things outside.

George's POV - Mr. Cooper

Connie came in yelling at me, aiming a finger towards my son's door. I trusted Y/n, she seemed like a good girl and kept my reckless son in line. But my mother in law thinks otherwise. "They're teenagers if you wait any longer they'll be done."

I rolled my eyes going to his room making them sit on the floor. Apparently that wasn't good enough for connie. "Smart. Nobody ever got pregnant on the floor. Have you had the talk with that boy?"

I replied nervously. "About the thing that a father has with his son.."

Connie slams her beer on the counter. "It's important. What if he knocks that poor girl up. You like y/n because she keeps him out of trouble so I think you should want to look out for both of them!"

I fired back at her. "Is that a stab at me?" She took a drink snapping. "Well it depends..did you knock up my daughter and reunion her life. Oh wait I know the answer."

Connie made me go in his room to see Georgie and y/n tickling each other and reading magazines. Georgie sets his down as y/n froze. "Mr. Cooper, Memaw?" Connie holds a hand out for y/n to take. "The boys need to talk."

Y/n gets up shrugging to Georgie who rolls his eyes. The conversation between us got confusing so I called y/n in for backup. She sits on my side of the bed, looking at my boy. "Georgie what your dad is trying to say is...if we get together like all the way."

She points to her area then to him and puts two fingers together before she keeps going. "We have to be safe and try and not get me pregnant like he did your mom with you. No offense to either of you sir." She puts a hand on my shoulder as I nodded.

Georgie nods his head "ok dad - now please leave" I sighed leaving them alone.

Y/n's POV

Georgie and I ended our dance party to read his magazines. Shortly though I'm interrupted from reading my book by his hands going for my ticklish spots. I started laughing and trying to roll away from him but he ends up pulling me up on his chest holding me. I gripped his shirt and my hands ended up finding his so I started attacking him making him laugh too. I never knew I'd learn to love the sound of something so fast and in this case is Georgie's laugh. Of course he was cute and all but even he learned to like me more than just my appearance.

I cackle in unison with Georgie. "Georgie Cooper!" He laughed back. "Y/n L/n!"

The door opened for us to see Memaw and his dad who slowly came in as I got off his lap blushing. "Mr. Cooper...Memaw?" Georgie rolls his eyes as his dad says. "We need to talk". Memaw took my hand pulling me into the hall as I gave her a confused look.

"What's going on?" She took my hand in hers, explaining softly. "Y/n, you and Georgie are changing-" I cut her short waving my hands around. "Woah hold on. My parents already told me about this. Plus I know Georgie. He'd never force me."

She pulls me in a hug taking a sigh of relief. "Oh darlin'. Thank goodness." We pull apart before going to his room once again.

His dad sits on the bed, confused about what to say. Memaw whispered in his ear. "Let her explain it to him - she knows about it all already." I sat on the bed and Georgie understood what I said telling his dad to leave, finally I laid my head on his chest taking a breath.

"I can't believe they thought we would - you know?" He joked pulling me closer to him for a kiss. "I know right, I can't believe they thought I'd take advantage of my darlin'."

I kissed him back deeply as I sat on his lap, barely breaking the kiss to mutter. "Say it again." He asks looking deep in my eyes. "What?"

I rest my forehead against his lips. "Darlin', I liked the sound of it from you." He nodded his head before asking softly. "You wanna go watch tv?" I nodded yes getting off his lap and we headed to the living room.

Missy came into the room as Georgie and I sat on the couch watching Ducktales. She holds a red book in her hands as I turned the tv volume down to pay attention to her. "Can you help me. I don't understand my homework?" Georgie questioned out in the open resting his hands on his knees. "You're asking me? I don't understand my own homework."

I nudge him in his rib making him whine at me when I asked eager to help her. "What kinda homework is it, Mis?" She shows it to me groaning. "Grammar" I groaned remembering that I always forget the literary devices on tests. "Uh, Missy I'm not good at this. Georgie?" I tilted my head in his direction and he complained just wanting to watch tv.

"I ain't great with grammar y/n.." I directed for Missy to sit down next to him. She said simply. "Well grammar, Is just talking and we talk pretty good." The two of them sat and got confused which meant Georgie taking the remote from me. I ate some chips until Missy turned back clearly sad making me stop eating.

"Y/n, do you think we're stupid?" I stumbled "Missy no. You and Georgie just learn different...everyone does."

Georgie fires back clearly annoyed about his brother's smarts. "Sheldons in college right now and we can't figure out your homework, what'da you think?" Missy gave me sad eyes mostly speaking to her brother. "Sometimes I tell myself that we only look stupid because he's so smart"

Georgie glanced my way and his eyes read 'I need to prove I'm not stupid' "Gimme the book." He tell her determined. I grinned as he took her English book when she sat down.

I laid my head on his shoulder as they started doing the work. Missy joked when they learned what a verb was making me laugh a little. "We suck at homework". Georgie taps my thigh with his pencil making me focus on him. "The first sentence on your homework is 'most people in the country'"

Missy and I both say together. "I don't see an action word". I smiled when Missy announced slightly happy "Georgie, y/n. I don't think this is a sentence."

Georgie handed her the book and pencil to fix it, encouraging her in an adorable way. "Put a verb in their girl". He lays an arm around me as I hugged him gently grinning big.Later we were in his room just laying on his bed cuddling in silence before a note was slipped under his door. I sat up seeing it making Georgie sit up too. He got off his bed picking it up to reveal Missy's homework with a 100% at the top.

I dangle my legs off the bed asking out of curiosity. "What is it, Georgie?"

He hands it to me and a smirk meets my lips at hearing Missy outside the door. "Did you cry when you saw it?"

Georgie glanced at me as I held my hand over my mouth to conceal my laughter caused by his little sister. "No"

Missy asks in a high pitched voice. "Why not?"

Georgie tells her annoyed. "Because it's not that big of a deal". I couldn't stop the words from coming out as I playfully grinned at the boy I'm dating as he placed it on his wall with a small tack. "Not a big deal, huh Georgie."

He shook his head no saying I wasn't helping him hide the fact. "Did you hang it on your wall?" Missy's voice called through the door and I flopped back on his bed cackling in laughter.

Georgie told her as she kept singing it on the other side of his bedroom door. "Get out of here!"

He comes over to me, sitting beside me as I keep laughing until he tells me amazed at himself. "I got an A, y/n" I finally controlled my laughter to roll on my side to face him, grinning big. "I shouldn't say this but...I told you so."

He rolled his eyes pulling me up on his lap to kiss me playfully. "Come'ere, darlin'." I smiled poking him lightly. "Ok my smart texan" We fell back on the bed making out along with laughs.

Comments really appreciated ❤️

#texas romance #georgie cooper x reader #georgie cooper #montana jordan #george cooper #mary cooper #missy cooper #young sheldon meemaw #sheldon cooper #meemaw #teenage romance #high school best friend #young sheldon #the big bang theory #wattpad fanfiction #comments really appreciated

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sea-salted-wolverine · 7 months

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Do you ever have a moment where a passing recollection from childhood flutters through your brain, and you almost don't consider it until you realized that it was actually really fucking strange? And then you call your mom, and hesitatingly because you don't really trust your six-year-old imagination and memory, describe your version of events and ask for the perspective of someone who was an adult at the time, only to have her offer clarification that is perhaps a dozen times more bat shit than what you thought happened?

I was 6. I might have been 5. Maybe 7. I dont really know. It's not important. My brother is 4 years younger than me and he could walk and had teeth at the time. That is important.

We were regularly going to service at my grandmother's church. There was a children's area/playground/daycare thing that was offered as an alternative for sermons so no one had to deal with the loud fidgety babies. I think, like I said, I don't super trust my recollection.

There was a disagreement. I made someone cry. There was no hitting. We were asked to leave and then only showed up to church again after that on Easters and Christmas.

That's what I remember. Which isn't a huge deal until you think about how badly things had to go for an entire family to get kicked church. Semi permanently. So I asked about it several decades later.

Let it be said that I am an atheist not because I had some grand dramatic break up with God, but because there just was no religion at all in my life, certainly nothing that's stuck. This is why. It is also worth noting that this happened within like a month.

So first, the pastor/the reverend/someone in charge was embezzling money. How? Is that even possible? Fuck if I know. My grandmother did not go to church for the reverence or the religion, she went for the politics. She's the kind of woman who enjoys holding power over other people. She and Pop-pop were at elders at the church and had opinions about the misappropriation of funds. It gives me joy to conceptualize this in the tones of some gritty mafia movie so that's how it's gonna be. There was a titanic covert power struggle over the fiscal health of this suburban community church.

Dad actually did have a dramatic break up with the bad boyfriend that is God. How and where exactly this happened in the timeline is unclear.

Mom and Granny were both in the bell's choir. Singing and music and fun times. Also quite a bit of homophobia. This was the nineties and a different church down the road had announced they were open to having gay weddings. This resulted a fervor of gossip and unchristian remarks about awful degenerates burning in hell. Mom did not appreciate this and managed to create a schism throughout the choir, starting a cold war of dirty looks and sneers. Evidently the music took a turn for the shitty as well. To be clear, This was not a case of activism or allyship. This was a group of people who believed themselves to be superior for not being gay versus a group of people who believed themselves superior for not gossiping.

The day care thing, turned out to be a series of separate incidences. The first being when baby me having hyperfixated on Greek myths decided to info dump on my sister and inform her that the Greek gods were just stories and fake, just like jesus and the Christian God. This also resulted in some consternation from the adult who is supposed to be watching us and in theory guiding us towards a more godly life. Supposedly there was a serious talk with my parents after the fact. However there have been so many serious talks with my parents about my behavior and the things that come out of my mouth that they have in fact blurred together and even my mom has no idea what I did. It is worth noting that this probably did not help my dads Spiritual Questioning.

There were several other incidences but the culminating moment, the one that wound up with us walking out mid service to never return, started when my mother's 17 year old cat died fighting something in the Bush.

This cat was an outdoor cat and as a result kill a lot of things. Baby me had a very good idea of what dead animals looked like and everything that entailed. Baby me had also not really been formally introduced to the concept of heaven, which seems like an oversight on the part of some adult.

So at the day care thing we are all sitting in a circle, going around, and talking about sad things that have happened to this group of slightly older than toddlers so we will have something to pray about. There is another little girl whose cat has died.

I would like to think that the adult version of me would have handled this better.

The long and the short of it is, I informed everyone that heaven wasn't real, dead things stay dead forever, there isn't really such thing as a soul, especially not for cats. Just imagine the worst tone-deaf atheist asshole you know, except 6.

So, she started bawling. The adult that is meant to be in charge is just staring at me in horror. No one told him that he would have to explain the afterlife today. And they really didn't mention that he would be cross-examined by a critical six-year-old while another one sobs.

The conversation that followed had to be hilarious, but due to the foibles of my brain and the intervening decades, I do not remember it at all. A great loss for us all.

Remember how I said it was important that my baby brother has teeth at this point? While I am engaged in theological debate with an increasingly desperate Day care worker, my wonderful loving and loyal baby brother is told that I am a mean person. While this is arguably true, he also loves me. Significantly more than he loves common sense. Or manners. Or Jesus for that matter. His big sister is the best person in the world, actually.

Queue the fighting for my honor.

Yes, he started biting.

My sister is an empathetic cryer and is now also sobbing.

The poor daycare man has not convinced me that heaven exists, but he's now wondering if this is the threshold of hell. Someone goes to get mom or dad or granny or anyone who can do anything about the tiny heathens unleashed on the kiddy hour.

So, yeah. We never went back. Only my sister ever missed it. Next Sunday, Mom told us to go explore the abandoned gravel pit for an hour or so.

#religious trauma #Technically #Someone is definitely traumatized #Famdamnily #Wolverine warbles #There are extra spaces in here i can't remove #Im gonna end up turning the reblogs off on this one

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lavender-teardroplettes · 6 months

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Friendship Bracelets and Stab Wounds🔪

Working title for the beginning of my YOU and HIM fanfic!

Pairing: This is going to be heavily Si and Adam focused with Cain making an appearance in later chapters!

Content Warnings: Religious trauma, mentions of child abuse and neglect, mentions of blood/being stabbed, mentions of cannibalism, general cw for serial killer/yandere themes, nsfw themes (in later chapters). More could be added, but I think this covers the gist of it. Also small content warning for depictions of an asthma attack in this chapter.

Enjoy Chapter 1~!

Church. Si had never really liked going to church, he didn’t really see the point of it. The stories and metaphors were long, tiring, and often didn’t make much sense to him in the long run. Well- that is- if he ever paid attention for that long. Often times he’d be roughly shaken awake by Aunt Ruth, her scowl ever present each time he had the audacity to sleep during the sermon. He’d always scowl back at her, and they’d get into an argument about how he’s ‘too old to be sleeping in church now.’ He only ever went when he was visiting his aunt and uncle, which happened to be a lot during summer and winter holidays from school- where his parents didn’t have to deal with him and vacation away child-free for a few months or weeks depending on the time of year.

No, the only things he liked about Church were Sunday school recess and singing with the choir. Si was enrolled in his school’s choir, so it was nice being able to continue with it when he was here in Arizona. There was a boy around his age, maybe a year older, who Si really admired for his singing voice. He was also pretty cute, but an eight year old really didn’t have a grasp of that concept yet. Still, he’d find himself staring at the boy occasionally, and was a little surprised to find that sometimes their eyes would meet. Si himself was too shy to really start a conversation or ask if the boy would want to play with him during recess- too many failed attempts told him it was better to just play on his own since not many kids seemed to like beast-kin children. He tried his best to hide his ears with his hair and kept his tail tucked under his skirt as much as he could, but he could hear the other children whispering about him, and he decided he didn’t need to be friends with mean people in the first place. The boy also didn’t seem to have many friends, or that people were just avoiding him entirely. Si had heard whispers about him being the pastor’s son, maybe that was why? He couldn’t really understand it at the time, but he knew he felt a little sorry for the boy knowing how lonely it could be on your own.

The sound of the organ brought Si out of his thoughts once more- it was time to sing the closing hymn before the sermon ended for the day and Sunday school to begin afterwards. He followed his relatives in standing, Aunt Ruth opening the hymn book for Si to read along with as they sang. “My God is good, and he is kind, for this gives us peace of mind. Loyal lambs, in his flock, lead to glory, and not to rot-,” Si could feel his nose scrunch at some of the words. He didn’t agree with them or his simple understanding of their meaning- not everyone here was the picture perfect idea of what a good church goer was ‘supposed’ to be like. He knew this, because he wasn’t one of them. He was only here because his Aunt forced him to be, his own parents didn’t even attend anymore and hadn’t for a long time, longer than before he was even born. Still, he sang along, and tried to be on his best behavior nonetheless. Just a few more pages and a steady process of fudging some answers to the teacher later and he’d have his freedom for a few hours.

The group for today’s class was a little larger than he had remembered it being, so he was lucky in not being called on for today in favor for some of the newer faces in class. Si took note that the boy didn’t seem to be there that day, that is, until he came in quietly with a note for the teacher. His head was down the whole time, but the air around him felt tense and distressed. The other kids didn’t seem to notice or mind, but Si couldn’t help but want to ask what was wrong and to comfort him in some way. The teacher let the boy, who Si heard her call him Adam, leave the class for recess early much to the rest of the classes dismay as it was time for the final lesson. Once the class broke for recess, Si got to work looking for Adam. The playground area wasn’t too large, accompanied by a field for playing soccer or tag and a few trees lining the fence. When Si couldn’t find him under the jungle gym, he took for the field, finding the boy crying behind one of the larger oak trees.

Suddenly, Si felt what he later figured out was social anxiety creep up from the back of his neck. His tail puffed up with the annoying itchy feeling that always followed suit, and he wanted to run away at first. Before he could, Adam looked up from hiding in his arms to wipe his eyes, only to see the cat beast-kin who only showed up two times a year- the cat person he had been so curious about but afraid to approach. Si’s eye’s widened and slit in surprise, and he found himself blushing nervously while balling his hands into his dress. For a moment, neither of them moved. Adam was first, moving to open his mouth to say something, but Si cut him off frantically. “I-I! Uhm...A-are you okay?” Carefully, he took a step forward. Adam leaned back with a frown on his face, seemingly trying to force himself to stop crying- which only caused more hot tears to stream down his face. His cheek looked red and swollen, and Si shrunk a little at how much hurt his eyes carried. Still, he persisted, getting close enough to bend down at arms reach and hand Adam a tissue.

Adam studied the tissue for a moment, sniffing quietly as he looked Si over. He could see the concern in their face, like they were genuine in their worry for him. When Adam didn’t reach for the tissue right away, Si got closer, moving to wipe the tears from his cheeks gently. The action surprised Adam, but all he could do was sit there and blush as a wave of emotions overtakes him. The sudden gentleness and kindness from what essentially was a stranger to him was overwhelming, mixing with the fear and pain from his encounter earlier caused a new wave of hot tears to stream down into Si’s hands. Si’s tail puffed up in alarm as Adam quietly sobbed into his hands, and he pulled the larger boy into a hug. Adam’s arms were shaking as they held each other, and Si could feel his shoulder getting soaked with tears after a few moments. It made Si’s heart hurt, and while he didn’t really understand what was going on, it made him sad enough to tear up as well. Still, he held Adam for as long as he needed to, letting Adam pull away first. There were too many tears left over to wipe away with just his hands, so Si used a few more of his hand tissues to help Adam wipe his face. Once Adam’s tears seemed to stop for the time being, they sat there in an awkward silence, both of the children holding their knees and staring at the ground. Adam felt mortified for crying in front of someone like that, but he also found it to be really comforting to get it all out like that.

“….Thank you…” Si’s ears perked up at the sound of Adam’s voice, soft and horse from crying. He gave a shy smile to Adam when he glanced over, tapping his feet on the grass nervously, “Y-you’re welcome. Uhm...I’m ---- by the way.” Adam blinked and mulled Si’s deadname in his mind, “Adam...how do you say that again?” Si rubbed the back of his neck with a sheepish expression, “Ah...it’s okay, you can call me something else if you want, my friends at school call me by nicknames so I’m used to it.” Adam nodded, picking at a few strands of grass idly, “I’ll think of something, I-I guess….can I call you Cat for now?” Si blinked then smiled with a nod, “Sure, can I call you Addy?” It was Adam’s turn to blink, he wasn’t expecting to get one as well. Did this mean they were friends now? Is that how it worked? He glanced back down at the pair of wide, brown, cat-like eyes staring back at him excitingly, and he found himself looking away with a nod and a blush, “Uh...yeah, sure.”

There was another pause in their conversation, the sound of the other children playing filling the silence between them, but this time it was much more comfortable than before. Si looked over to Adam and leaned a bit closer, as if they were sharing a secret, “Addy, why were you crying?” Adam’s eyebrows furrowed before he tucked his face into his knee, “I don’t want to talk about it…” Si blinked before nodding, knowing better than to press the matter. There were loads of things he didn’t want to talk about himself, so he could understand how Adam must have been feeling. Si reached his hand out, smiling and poorly hiding a giggle at Adam’s confused expression, “Do you wanna hold my hand? My mom used to rub the back of mine when I cried to help me feel better.” Pitch black eyes stared back at him through locks of brown hair, seemingly processing the question like it was a hard math problem. “….Okay….sure.” Si’s ears perked in a way Adam found endearing, and he slipped his hand into Si’s smaller one. It was warm and as inviting as the rest of the beast-kin, and Adam couldn’t help but wonder if being part cat had anything to do with it, or if it was just Si on his own. Si gave Adam’s hand a gentle squeeze, being careful not to squeeze too hard. It felt firm to Adam, he figured beast-kin humans must be stronger depending on their race, but it was still reassuring.

He liked the way it felt when Si’s thumb started trailing little circles on the back of his hand. He didn’t know why it felt so soothing, but it was better than the bitter feeling that came after you finished bawling your eyes out. “...You’re really kind, Cat...thank you” Adam’s eyes where drawn to his shoes as a new feeling started to bubble up in his chest, another blush softly spreading on his face as he got accustomed to the warm sensation. He wasn’t really sure what it was, but he had decided in the moment that he liked Si and was happy that he came looking for him. Si’s eyes widened a bit when he saw Adam smile, and his ears seemed to twitch around, finding the best way to express the new feeling he also felt in his chest. They seemed to settle on folding back against his head, annoyingly being wedged uncomfortably between his hair buns as the hot feeling on his face alerted him that he was blushing himself. “I just...didn’t feel right leaving you alone after seeing how sad you were.” Adam’s grip tightened on Si’s hand slightly as he took their words in, genuinely surprised that someone cared that much about him without even knowing him.

Adam opened his mouth to speak, but it was cut off by the sound of the recess bell. “Oh...Looks like it’s time for choir practice.” Si’s gaze was directed to the church building, missing the longing look Adam was giving him. Adam wanted to continue the conversation, he wasn’t ready to go back yet. Si stood up, still holding Adam’s hand as he tugged on it gently, causing Adam to lean forward and have to balance himself with his free hand. Adam didn’t know what would be more mortifying- crying in front of his new friend as their first interaction, or eating dirt in front of them because he wasn’t stronger than a werecat a year younger than him. A thought passed though his mind as he caught himself- he needed to be stronger to protect them. He didn’t know where it came from, but he held onto it for dear life. “C’mon Addy we gotta go sing!” Si’s eyebrows furrowed, the anxiety over being late expressing itself with a few flicks of his tail. Despite feeling annoyed that recess was over, Adam could help but smile at Si as he stood up, “Are we going to sing together?” The question made Si perk up, and his tail stopped flicking, instead replaced with a happy sway that followed his excited nodding. “Mhm! Mhm! Mhhhm!” The last confirmation of his agreement to the idea was accented with an exaggerated head nod, “We can sing together every practice! But….you’re kinda taller than me, so I might be moved to the front of the group when we perform. Maybe I can stand in front of you then?”

Once Adam was up, they started walking back together as they talked. Adam liked the idea of singing together, nodding along with Si before frowning at the mention that they might be separated. “I dunno...maybe you could stand with me, I’d like that..” The last part came out of the corner of his mouth, but Si heard it anyways, “That would be pretty nice, huh?” Adam blinked and Si just smiled back at him, oblivious to the fact that he wasn’t supposed to hear what Adam tried to mumble to himself. The taller of the two made it a mental note that Si had good hearing, he should have figured that much at the least knowing what he read about cats in the library. He nodded quietly without saying anything further, Si’s attention was on the building’s door and no longer on him. There was a crowd of children waiting to funnel into the building, but Adam could see how nervous Si looked, probably worried that they’d be scolded for being the last two in. Adam tugged on Si’s hand to get his attention before pointing at the door, “Do….Do you want to race?”

The way Si brightened up would have blinded Adam as if he was the sun, “Yes!! I’ll even give you a head start!” Adam’s eyebrow raised at the sudden confidence that seemed to well from the shorter of the two, where cat beast-kins that fast? Si poised himself, his eyes trained back to the door with determination, “You get five Mississippi’s when you start running!” A smile crept on to Adam’s face at the challenge, breaking off into a sprint before Si could react. He counted five Mississippi’s, looked back behind him, and was surprised to see Si closing the distance between them. It looked like Si was going to win for a moment after he passed him shortly after words, but suddenly Si held onto his side while slowing down. It looked like he was panting and trying to push past the pained expression that overcame his face. Adam had seen other kids react like this while running, but usually they had an inhaler to use when this happened. Si never pulled one out, instead slowing down to a weak jog before having to stop. One of the teacher assistants noticed this in the middle of ushering kids along into the building and rushed over before Adam could reach Si. He just stood there in shock as the assistant pulled out an emergency inhaler, helping Si use it before picking him up. They looked over at Adam with a sorry expression, “Run along now, Adam, I’ll take ---- to the nurse and call their Auntie to pick them up.” Adam wanted to protest, but he knew better. He didn’t know how to help despite every part of his body urging for him to do something. His lips pursed as he watched Si cough, his sturdy body seeming so frail in the moment.

The thought passed his mind again- he needed to be stronger to protect him. Adam’s fists balled as he watched the assistant walk away, noticing the way Si’s tail hung lifelessly after being so vibrantly expressive while they were together. He could feel the tears welling in his eyes again, but he forced them back before continuing to jog towards the building. He took note of the calendar in the hallway. It was the beginning of August, Si would only come to church two more times before leaving again. He had taken note of every time the shy, almost aloof cat person came to visit each year, and he had also taken note of the way the other kids would whisper about him, much in the same way they would do with Adam. Despite many forms of direct eye contact, it seemed to him like neither of them were going to approach each other first. While Adam had experience with friendly stay cats, Si was another world of communication that he just didn’t understand or know how to approach. But, somehow, they still found each other.

Adam frowned, pausing for a moment as he examined it. “August….they’ll be gone until the middle of December.” His heart dropped, seemingly in the same way it had did earlier, but for different reasons this time. The chorus teacher walked up behind him, noticing Adam staring at the calendar, “Oh, hello Mr. Gaudin. Are you excited for picture day?” Adam’s eyes scanned the calendar again- picture day was next week. He didn’t really care about it before, but this was a chance to at least have something related to Si while he waited for December to come around. Adam smiled in a way that actually reached his eyes for once, delighting the director given what she had overheard in the lounge. “Yes, I am. Thank you Ma’am.” He nodded his head to her, feeling confident for once in his plan and with himself. Following the teacher’s direction, he made his way to the main hall for choir practice. While he was sad that they couldn’t sing together today, he looked forward to seeing Si again and hoping that they were just as excited to see him next Sunday.

#you and him #you and him game #adam yah #fanfic #si writes #friendship bracelets and stab wounds #currently writing chapter 2 rn hehehe #Who's ready for some good ol' fashioned ANGST??? >:D

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mx-jinxous · 1 year

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I’ve been throwing around this idea in my head and so far this is what I have written. I’m hoping to add to it down the road. This is a modern day supernatural au.

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Eddie came back to dried blood covering his hands, Johnny Cash playing softly in the background. Turning his head to the side he noted the world was filled with trees as it sped past him, unfamiliar territory. His breath hitched as a hand wrapped around his, squeezing it firmly. Whipping his head to the side, ready to attack whoever was beside him, but still seeing his uncle. His eyes were on the road as he drove, one hand on the wheel as they drove through the terrain.

When his mind finally settled his breath picked up in a panic. The memories flooded back, the desperation of his uncle rushing them away as he called someone, both men stained in blood of Eddie’s latest victim. The grip on his hand tightened while Eddie covered his mouth. He remembered walking with Gareth after band practice, the sun beginning to set as they cut through the forest. Usually they practiced at the younger's house but his parents had forbidden practice that day as the local church pastor was visiting. So practice had taken place at another band member's home, which Jeff lived across town from the both of them.

They were just talking about their D&D campaign for tomorrow night, Gareth trying to wrangle information out of him. It was like he blinked and he was standing over Gareth’s body, covered in blood and stomach oddly full when he was just starving moments before. He panicked, ran home to Wayne. The next thing he registered was the truck ride, his stomach sinking as clarity came over him. He was covered in his best friend's blood, inside and out, and he'd left him there.

Without warning, he threw open the truck door, ripping away from Wayne, and meeting the earth below. His uncle had hit the brakes just in time to avoid too much damage, throwing the truck into park as he rushed to his nephew's side. He gathered Eddie’s curly locks as the young man gagged and tainted the ground with red liquid. He whispered comforting words to the young man as the ground became more and more red. It wasn’t until the gagging turned to whimpering did he pull Eddie back into a hug, letting him hide in his shoulder.

“I know kiddo… I know.” He hushed, rocking Eddie like he had when he was a child. “We have to keep going, though. We’re almost to the safe haven.” He received a nod, helping his nephew up on shaky legs and back into the truck. They sped back off into the forest, silence filling when Eddie’s shaky breaths lessened.

Five minutes passed before the silence broke, the metal head keeping his eyes on the trees outside. “Is he… did I-.”

“He was breathing when I got him to the hospital.” That’s all Wayne could say, that’s all he knew since they fled after taking Gareth to the hospital. Resting his head against the window, ducking into his jacket. The truck went silent once more, Johnny Cash the only voice filtering the space.

Graduating high school had seemed to be the largest obstacle in his life, up until puberty hit and sent him into a nosedive of issues. The moment he realized he couldn’t pretend anymore was a usual night of his senior year. He’d gone out to make a nice chunk of money for this new amp he’d seen at a local mom and pop shop. By the time he’d called it a night he’d been hungry. He knew his uncle had work that night and knew that he was running low on his stash.

He’d meant to stop by the nearest butchers before they closed, but a busy weekend night had kept him out later than intended. Wayne hadn’t bothered him to keep up since his ailment started to bloom after he hit puberty. He wasn’t freaked out the day Eddie came out of his bedroom, panicked over red eyes and extruding fangs with hunger pains that brought tears to his eyes. Instead he embraced his nephew, making deals with friends to obtain animal blood.

Since then he hadn’t skipped the butchers, so this loss of control was something new and terrifying. He’d felt the unusual hunger cramps at practice, but he’d decided to ignore it until he got home. His friend had paid the price for his ignorance.

The truck came to a stop not long after, pulling Eddie out of his head to see a three story log cabin that was easily five times bigger than their trailer. A scream echoed through the forest and to Eddie’s ear, making the young man look around. The surrounding forest was filled with children running around, playing some form of tag without a care in the world. Certainly the pure opposite of what the metal head needed.

“Come on kid.” His uncle ushered him out of the truck. With reservations, Eddie tucked his hand beneath his armpits, concealing the destroyed clothes beneath. He hadn’t had the chance to change as his uncle threw his life in a duffle and rushed him into the old vehicle to wheel them off to bum-fuck nowhere.

“You’re sure about this old man? There are a lot of kids around here, not really the most ideal place for an unhinged monster.” He mumbled as he tucked into himself, the scent of stale blood that had surely stained his shirt by now filtered his nose.

“I swear kid, these aren’t normal children. Some of them may be your age if not older. Hopper and Joyce are understanding and will keep you safe. Once I do some damage control I’ll be back for you, okay.”

“You trust me?” Eddie huffed as the kids seemed to note their visitors, one disappearing inside while the others watched.

“I do, son. I swear to you I’ll be back, I ain’t your dad. A month or two and you will see me back here with the rest of your stuff. Until then try and get along with them.” The metal head only huffed in response, looking anywhere but his uncle's eyes. He felt guilty for putting so much on his uncle's shoulders. “Come on.” Wayne said, giving Eddie’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze before throwing open his door. Eddie huffed, following his uncle out of the car.

“Wayne!” A voice boomed across the forest, the scurry of animals being heard in the distance as a smile plagued his uncle. He turned to face the man, who swiftly crossed the yard with open arms.

“Hop! God you don’t age do you.” Wayne pulled him into a hug, a woman following with two boys on her heels, one looking around Eddie’s age and one just a teenager. The man - Hop - backed away only for the woman to pull the older man into a squeezing hug.

“Oh Wayne, you’re a sight for sore eyes! We were so pleased to hear from you after so long, what’s it been, a decade?”

“Sixteen years, Joyce. I didn’t mean to go radio silent, I just… I had to step up and take care of my own.” Stepping back from the two, Wayne wrapped his arm around Eddie’s shoulders. “This is Eddie.”

“Oh dear. When you said you had someone coming to stay for a while, I never assumed your son, or the fact that you had a kid.”

“Afraid not darlin’. This is my idiot brother's boy, but he’s more like my boy. Kenney was a deadbeat if you remember him from his brief stay here.”

“Oh yes, the asshat decided to pick a fight with Steve.” The eldest boy grumbled, crossing his arms.

“Hasn’t changed much. The only thing he ever did right is right here and he couldn’t even bother after a decade. We’ve hit a snag though. I appreciate you letting my boy stay.” Joyce stepped forward, grabbing Eddie by the arm, pulling him into a hug.

“Nonsense! Eddie, you are Wayne’s family, so you are welcome here. Come, let me show you to your room, it was your uncle’s when he was your age.”

“That’s kind of you.” He mumbled, pulling away and huddling behind his uncle. He twirled his hair in his fingers, watching the blood stained strand curl.

“Your uncle’s been in our family since we all were young, came from the same home. You are welcomed with open arms, but we will need to understand you and your gift more. Let’s go inside and get an understanding of your gift.” Hopper led the way, through the kids looking on in interest.

“Before we start, can we get you boys anything? A drink? A snack? It must have been a long trip.” Wayne looked over at his nephew, noting the way Eddie was withdrawn, taking it upon himself to answer.

“No, that’s alright Joyce. I’d like to explain and I’m sure Eddie would like to change his clothes. We didn’t have much time in our rush.”

“Of course. Have a seat and explain what happened.” They all sat in the small office, Eddie tucked against his uncle’s side like he had as a kid.

“Well Eddie’s ability is closely related to vampires. He’s lived by drinking blood since he was sixteen, and we try to keep his diet balanced between the blood and regular food, but last night something happened. He must have had a change in his metabolism that I didn’t account for or something. I don’t know the whole story, but -.”

“I was just so hungry. One minute we’re walking home from practice, the next I’m looking down at… he looked so scared and drained.” Eddie curled in on himself, shoulders tensing as Wayne wrapped an arm around his nephew.

#steddie #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson

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mate-y-viajecito · 3 months

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After my dad passed away I kept dreaming about him dying. It was a diferent situation each time, but it wasn't his actual cause of dead. A particulary gruesome one was when I dream that there had been a car crash and they weren't able to pull him from the wreckage so he burnt to death. Shortly after that, I started dreaming that he came back for a little while, and I would tell him the latest family gossip about my sister gettig married. Later it stoped being endearing and started becoming heartwrenching. I dreamt that he came back for a short while and then he had to leave again, and it was never enough time, and the pain of losing him agaim made me wake up crying and screamng in anguish.

He was my first death. Perhaps that is why I was so unprepared to dealing with grief. Or perhaps you are never really preparred to lose a parent. But, knowing what I know now about grief I would do things differently.

I almost didn´t make it to his funeral, but that couldn't be helped, I was living 600 kms away and the wake started on the same day of his death. I still made it next morning. First funeral. My siblings told me that the night before the funeral home was filled with people and that my brother's father in law, an evangelical pastor said something unintentionally hilarious. I wish I hadn't missed it.

He was buried, I went to my mom's house to be with family and two days later I went back to college. I wish I had stayed longer with my family, share the grief with people who loved him like I did, the things that I thought were urgent weren't realy as important (work, the student centre). And I wish I had been more outspoken. I'm sorry my essay is shit, my father just died and I am going through one of the toughest moments in my life. I have depeloped a lifelong disease because of this. And I wish i had more time with him, I wish that the time I did have with him was spent better and I wish to tell him all of the things that have happened in my life, and I wish that he could tell me about his life as well.

#idk #vienen pasando muchas cosas y extraño a mi viejo.#lo que dijo el pastor es ue mi papá habia sido un consolador #esas palabras textuales #tw death #grief #personal

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lordnot · 4 months

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Me: I just need to clear my head and relax. I've only got five hours before I have to wake up again, and I need the sleep.

Youth Pastor Mike Ehrmantraut, a character my brain has suddenly decided to invent at this exact moment: "And what if someone loved you unconditionally? They'd have to be pretty special, wouldn't they? That means they'll still love you if you do good, if you do bad. Doesn't matter. You think your parents love you unconditionally? Really Johnny? Let's do a little thought experiment. Let's say I went up to any one of your parents, and I said: 'I'm here to wipe your debts clean. Your mortgage, your credit cards, that piece of shit minivan you got to drive your kids to soccer practice. You get a fresh start. And all I need you to do is, when I take your kid, you don't ask questions, and you don't go looking for 'em. Tell people they ran off. Tell them they were kidnapped. I don't care.' Who here thinks their parents wouldn't take that deal? Show of hands."

#insomnia #breaking bad

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coffeeandbatboys · 5 months

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I feel like I gotta tell the story abt how me and my bestest guy friend (we are not dating whatsoever we are like siblings) met and then the crap that's happened to us since then. Because everytime I think about it it makes me feel so happy.

So in 2020 of course all kinds of stuff was going down. I was dealing with the loss of my Grandpa in January and not doing it very well. And one fine summer day this new kid shows up at church. We ended up arguing about the stars on the American flag (I don't remember who won) and then we talked and realized that we had 2 things in common.

Fantasy books and Nintendo games.

Over the next few months we became friends and started hanging out more often. We did a lot of stuff during Christmas and honestly had the time of our lives.

February of 2021 he starts having heart issues which freaked me out. Like, I cried when he told me he had a heart monitor (I was dumb and didn't think much back then) but thank God they went away on their own.

We did a lot of fun stuff during the summer like our pastor and his wife took a bunch of the youth group kids to Arizona Grand Hotel (not in a weird way just a retreat).

2022 this kid dresses up as a literal Christmas Elf and slays so hard. (Twas for a thing called angel tree basically kids who's parents are in prison get gifts from people who sponsor the kid). I was also an elf but didn't have as fancy of a costume.

2023 he gets a job at a grill in town which takes up most of his time, but he was able to squeeze in a trip to Prescott for a youth leadership conference.

(Christian stuff is mentioned here)

I had a moment during a worship service there where I absolutely broke down crying. Like ugly crying. When I got back to where we were sitting he was ready with a hug and that was when we realized that we might be really close friends. After that there was another worship service and he got up there with me and it was just really cool.

Over the summer we became more like brother and sister, (there were a lot of water gun fights this year)

And the last couple of weeks have been rough for both of us definitely.

But we've finally acknowledged that were best friends.

We've got each others backs.

And if anyone has any tall jokes pleaaseeee send them to me so I can counteract the short jokes he makes.

We are like Natasha and Clint, respectively.

Only NOBODY is dying young.

#my bestest friend #We are not dating #It'd be awkward since were like siblings #He's a pain in my butt sometimes but I've put up with him #3 years strong #Woohoo #Best friend

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thedianadiary · 11 months

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0019.

Do you want the last dream you had to come true? looooooool. so get this. my most recent dream i can recall was that i had been married to K for like 3 years. we had just had twins (our first kids) one boy and one girl. they were like 4-5 mos. old. so we were like super happy and involved in church and like i remember being so happy. but then i found out he cheated. so like i went to one of our pastors and i was like i honestly dont think i can even think about reconciliation because we were happy. we like had no problems. and like i want to be kind to him because he is my kids dad and hes a good dad, but i cannot live life with someone who repeats this cycle to me. so like the dream fast-forwarded and we had gotten divorced and he was so upset by it he just wanted his family back. and we continued to go to the same church and like sundays was drop-off day for him to pick up the kids from nursery and have them til tuesday night. and so like after church we agreed to talk briefly and i told him i was going to start dating n stuff and he was like SO upset and we had this long convo about it. then i like started seeing someone from church. i woke up when K went to like get really upset with me. sooooooooooo i wouldn’t say it would be phenomenal to have it come true.. i love the idea of having babies and such. but idk.

When did you last talk to the person you’d most wanna talk to right now? i honestly dont want to talk to anyone rn lol

What kind of pill did you last take? lactaid

Do you like wearing glasses? not particularly.

Does your mom know the last person you hung out with? Yepppp

What were you doing 4 hours ago? i was playing sorry with my nephews

What would you most like to eat right now? the cake in the fridge but oooooomg my tummy hurts so bad currently.

How long were you last in the car for? Like 5ish mins

What is something good that happened last weekend? my brother got married

Do you like holding hands or do you think it’s stupid? i love it. i am often complimented that my hands are very soft.. and i love to do that whole thumb rubbing fun stuff. makes me happy.

The last song you heard, what does it make you think of? something in an ad

How’d you get your last injury? i jammed my finger and got a big blood blister from it.

What do you like about your birthday? i love gifts and good food and like .. ugh i used to date someone that would send me these gorgeous florist assembled bouquets and i just felt so... idk special. maybe that makes me self centered idk.

Do you like being home alone at night? i seldom dislike being alone

What first comes to mind when thinking of 10th grade? That was not an easy year. my parents were divorcing, i was dealing with some friendship losses.

What’s the scariest thing that’s happened to you? near death experiences.

Has an ambulance ever came to your house? looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool yes

The person you’re thinking about- what are you thinking about them? our babies tho..

When did you last skip class? uhhhhhh never? once maybe

Do you like the shape of your fingernails? yes

Did you look at your fingernails for the question above? after i typed yes lol

Whose pool did you last swim in? My sisters. i am eager to swim again.

What’s something you like about your 3rd hour? uh i never had that considering i was homeschooled.

Is formspring a good idea? idunno what that is.

What’s your biggest problem at the moment? career probably.

What’s the cutest thing someone’s ever done for you? oh man i would need to think about this.

When did you last see a police car? today

Why aren’t you doing something more productive than this? Its bedtime.

How many people know about the last person you kissed? i mean plenty.

How many different cars have you driven? goodness. many.

What did you do on Thursday? took care of the cats, went to VBS, went to the grocery store, cleaned the house, etc.

What color was the last thing you drank? gatorade

What do you do on Fridays? usually that has been date day/night

Have you ever had to take desperate measures in a desperate situation? yes im sure i have.

What door did you last open besides any on your house or car? the one at rainbow cone

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salaciousme · 1 year

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My father died on August 12, 2021. He had a COVID positive test a few days before my 30th birthday and quickly decompensated by my birthday. He was hospitalized and slowly going into multiple organ failure. Like most COVID patients, his lungs were the first to start failing. He was given all sorts of medication and treatments. By the end, they had maxed out all the legally allowed dosages. I was so angry with him for getting sick. His health has been touch and go since he had his first major heart attack when I was 14. The last 15 years of my life were filled with constant medical emergencies - 3 heart attacks and 4 strokes not to mention regular angina episodes. Needless to say, I was in the hospital a lot and this was just my father. This is not including my mother who has Parkinson’s . And my own health that suffered significantly because of the stress and constant worry.

My mother had gone to a church party on July 16 - the pastor’s wife’s 50th birthday. And yes, she really did throw a massive party in the middle of the pandemic. The last time I saw my father was on July 17, 2022. I had gone to visit my parents and have breakfast that Saturday morning. My uncle was visiting for the first time and my father was so excited, showing off all the things in the house to his older brother. My dad showed me old pictures of when he was younger and pictures of my brother who had passed. It was actually the first time he had ever spoken so openly about my brother. I remember he got really quiet and I just hugged him. This was the first emotionally vulnerable moment we had together. I left in the early afternoon to meet with my partner as per my usual routine. It’ is as clear in my mind as if it were yesterday how happy I felt. I had even called my partner to tell him I had a surprisingly great time with my parents and I was so happy that our relationship was improving. We had made plans to meet the next weekend for my birthday. Everything felt right in the world. Little did I know that I’d never see my father again. I’d never get another hug or another overly enthusiastic greeting that at the time I found annoying. Now I just miss it.

My mother called that Monday to tell me she was COVID positive and that I needed to get tested. My health is not great so being exposed to COVID was a big deal. I remember being so angry with her when she explained that multiple people at the party had tested positive and that most people were not wearing masks - her included. I asked her about my father and she said he was not sick and felt great. I warned her to stay away from him because he was a prime candidate for COVID complications. I was on speaker and I heard my father dismiss my concerns stating he was fine. This only for me to receive a call that Wednesday, July 21, that he was now COVID positive. My father went so far as to tell me that COVID was not as big of a deal as people had made it out to be and that he was going to be fine. I knew deep in my heart that the moment he was positive, he was not going to make it. I couldn’t tell you why but it was such an overwhelming feeling that I reacted like a child - I got angry at him. By the weekend, both my mother and father were hospitalized. Their oxygen levels were dropping and they couldn’t breathe. They were admitted into the hospital and placed in ICU together. My mother looked worse at first but made a recovery and was released by August 6.

My father’s condition suddenly began decompensating with no up tick. His lungs began to fail. The day he was placed on the ventilator, I remember seeing him on FaceTime and he could barely talk. The nurses had these iPads they used for patients to communicate with their loved ones who were on the COVID floors. He was unable to catch his breath despite being on max oxygen. He would make hand signs to try to communicate and ended up cutting the call short. I think he knew at that time that he was not coming home. I had never seen that look on his face before, not during any of the close calls in the last 15 years. And just like that he was transferred to ICU, put under sedation and placed on the ventilator. His condition looked hopeful for the first few days. We received dozens of calls a day from the hospital staff. I remember that Monday, August 9 we got the call - the “its not looking good” call, the “you should consider making arrangements” call, the “what life saving measure would you like taken” call. We were told he was going into multiple organ failure and his lungs were beginning to fill with fluid. They advised us the strain on his heart was getting too great and they had almost reach the max amount of medications to control his blood pressure. They said they can try life saving measures when his heart fails but advised against it because the damage to his organs were irreparable by this point. I never imagined having that conversation.

The next 2 days were surreal. I remember getting dozens more calls from the hospital including one the day before he died. The nurse called me early in the morning and said my father’s was not going to make it past that day and that she can arrange a FaceTime call so the family can say their goodbyes. I called my entire family to let them know what was going to happen and to tell them to be available for the call. I made the arrangements with the nurses and so many family and friends were able to join to say goodbye to my father’s sedated body. After about 2 hours the call suddenly ended. I immediately thought the worst. I couldn’t bring myself to call the hospital and I believe my sister did. He was still alive - if you could call it that. I will be eternally grateful to my childhood friend who worked at the hospital and somehow pulled magical strings and I was able to see my father before he died - in person. I remember feeling determined to see him because I could not accept this was real until I saw it for myself. I was allowed onto the COVID ICU floor where my father was admitted. He was on a floor in which each room was sealed off with negative pressure and no one was allowed inside except the assign nursing staff. Nevertheless I was able to stand outside his room and see him. He would have looked like he was sleeping if it were not for the multiple cables and tubes coming out of my father and into all sorts of machines id never seen before. His chest would rise and fall so unnaturally because of the ventilator. He didn’t look like him. It sunk in he would never come home. It sunk in that I would never hear him call my name again or give me a hug. He never got to visit my new home because I wanted it to be “perfect” before I finally invited him over. I started thinking of all the things he always said he would be there for and how he would never get to see any of those things. How this was it.

I don’t remember getting home or falling asleep. I remember receiving a call at 7:43 AM from the hospital. The moment I saw the number I knew - “no, no, no, no”. I remember saying that as I picked up the phone. The nurse was crying. Then the worst moment of my life unfolded. The words I was dreading to hear. It was official. He was really gone. This was real and this was happening. My father who always said he would like to 100 just to annoy me was gone at 68.

#covid19 #fuck covid #covid pandemic #covid deaths #cw grief #griefandloss #tw death #parent death tw #parent death mention #death #grief #pandemic #2021 #2022

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theyreonlynoodlesmike · 3 years

Note

i have a mad thomas x reader request where reader is forced to marry thomas (idk how just-) and is disgusted about it but eventually ends up liking him.(? idk how to explain myself:’)

No one look at me,,,,,,,,,,also this is heavily inspired by the Scarlet Letter and was supposed to be a tad darker but I copped out (also someone asked for a pregnant reader recently so this + that = this fic)

A Lie They Would Believe (Mad Thomas x Fem!Reader)

Warnings: dark themes, 1600 standards, values, and laws, affairs/cheating, ex-relationship with the pastor is mentioned, Thomas is Thomas, mentions of drinking, webs of lies, public humiliation, AFAB and Fem reader, pregnant reader, pre-marital pregnancy solved a la shotgun marriage, twisted win-win situation turns into love?, slow burn(?),

Word Count: 3.7k

You could accept your punishment with a turned cheek, you told yourself over and over again.

You could stare out at the audience of towns people, even as the sun beat on your face. You could stare out into the angry faces of the elders, into the pitying faces of your friends. Into the ashamed faces of your parents. But, you could not look at Cyrus Miller.

You'd missed your blood two months ago. You'd begged, prayed, everyday that it would come. But, the only thing that came was the morning sickness. You'd tried to hide it, tried to think of what to do. But, when you placed your hand over your stomach, you couldn't bring yourself to find the hag in the forest. And, when your mother held your spotless, white sheets in your face, you'd crumbled. You confessed in the privacy of your room as if you were confessing in church. You told her everything.

Well, almost.

"Tell us his name!" Cyrus said, a voice that you couldn't force to fall into the background. "Tell us the name of your accomplice and you shall suffer no more." He said, and you wanted to believe him. You let your eyes close for a moment, but your lips did not move. Your mouth did not open. "Tell us the father's name, so that your baby will not be born a bastard!" He said, and his hand reached out to grab your arm. His grip was strong and tight, unlike the caresses you'd become so accustomed to with him. While his words begged you to say the name, his name, the action spoke differently. You peeled open your eyes and looked up at him, at his raven hair and kind face. His dark, soft eyes. Tears pricked the corners of your own eyes, hard and glassy as you looked up at him. But, you were silent. Even as some of the townspeople yelled for you to confess.

But, how could you tell them that it was your persecutor who was the father of your child? That your pastor, the leader of this town, had sinned so egregiously? He had a wife, a daughter. You'd known both of those things when you'd fallen for him, but it was harder to ignore in the harsh sunlight. When both of them stood in front of you.

You knew you'd have to face punishment. Sex before marriage was a crime after all, completely forbidden. To think they didn't know you were an adulterer also. You didn't know what it'd be, but you knew you'd have no option but to accept it when it came. You'd already made your peace with it, made your peace with whatever God could condemn you to. Perhaps, you'd have to live alone, wear a scarlet letter on your breast. Perhaps, they'd cast you out completely, and you'd be shunned. Perhaps, they'd hang you. You touched your stomach at that thought. Perhaps, there were certain punishments you couldn't bear.

Your lips only fell open when a voice yelled,

"It was I." And a gasp fell from your mouth. Your head turned, snapped towards the voice. Towards the sea of faces that was the crowd. But, you knew that voice. "It's my child." He said, and your eyes fell on a face you knew all too well. And, at that moment, you knew exactly what type of punishment God had set out for you.

Mad Thomas.

***

The day had gone by in a blur.

Over and over in your head, one question repeated itself. Why? It was almost loud enough to drown out the constant whispers, the stories being spun by every person who seemed to have a tongue.

Union couldn't seem to stop talking about it. Of when it started, how long it'd been going on, when the pair of you had even had time to sneak off. You'd even heard a young Constance Berman whisper about how she'd always known something was going on between the two of you, only to be shushed by her older sister as you passed. As you'd been let free of the top of the church steps.

You'd been left outside, left out in the sun. Inside the church went your father, the pastor, and Thomas. You had no idea what Thomas was going to say, what lies he was going to spin.

You couldn't bring yourself to leave, to speak. You felt as though a blanket of white noise had covered your ears, covered your mind. You were surprised, to say the least. You'd thought a wave of devastation had washed over you the first moment you'd realized you were with child, but this? It made it seem like ripples in a pond. The only thing you could do was stare at the church door and wait for them to come out. But, you felt a warm arm wrap around your waist and you turned to see the face of your mother.

"Come," She said, and you looked back at the door blankly. You didn't want to leave. You wanted to be there when they came out. But, you couldn't find the words to say or the strength to keep your feet firm. So, you let her guide you away from the crowd, and towards your house.

It was only later that you were told you and Thomas were to be married by the end of the month.

***

You and Thomas were never allowed a moment alone. You didn't know whether to be relieved or not, but Thomas, a man who you quickly found was far more confusing than you thought, was playing a charade. He brought you flowers, carried your water pail for you, and even took you on chaperoned walks. You, however, were stony and stiff, barely able to contain your disgust for him. It was on your first walk that you whispered,

"Why? Why are you doing this?" And, for a moment, the incorrigible man seemed to pretend not to hear you. He glanced over his shoulder, as if the wind was at his ear instead, and you saw him cast a sly glance to the man behind them. It was one of your father's friends, walking only about two yards behind you. Finally, when he decided he was far away enough, he responded,

"Would you rather I had let them cast you out? Let you and your child starve in the woods?" Thomas said back, the most sober you'd ever heard him. It seemed that apart of your father's deal with him was that he cut back on the drink. He didn't even stumble as he walked.

"Don't pretend you did this out of charity. Why, Thomas?" You asked, and you, for only a moment, reached out to touch his arm. You pulled it back just as quick, hoping that your chaperone hadn't seen. Thomas looked down at the action, before he smirked and shook his head.

"Aren't we a perfect match?" He asked, and you gave him a look of confusion. He continued with, "You think I don't know what people say about me? Don't you see, girl? It doesn't matter if your father is the best woodworker, or the richest in Union anymore. No one would have you, or your bastard child. Except me." He said, and you almost couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth. He continued, his words a whisper now, "Besides, it's a lie they would believe." You stared at him, flabbergasted by his words. Flabbergasted by how right he was.

Thomas had, well, a reputation. It wasn't out of character for his wedding to be one out of necessity, and perhaps it earned you some pity from the townspeople. How many women had Thomas seduced? And how many of them could truly judge you? Not to mention, his words left one thing clear.

So, it was my dowry, you thought. It wasn't an unheard of reason, and it made sense given the man you were talking to. Your father had been avoiding selling you off, even as you reached far into your womanhood. And, surely, your father would never have considered him under any normal circumstance, but now...You didn't seem to have much of a choice.

Thomas paused, picking up one of the wildflowers and handing it to you. You took it, knowing now that you had to play along. That you had to act as if he truly was the father of your child, and not someone as foreign to you as the land outside of Union.

"Your father was going to start building us a house. I was thinking right here," Thomas said, his voice only slightly louder for the chaperone to hear, but you barely paid attention. You were staring down at the yellow flower in your hands, before you glanced up at the man in front of you.

He was tall, but his hair was lighter. His cheeks were stubbly and his eyes- They were a clear blue. Almost the same shade as the sky above you. You watched as he talked, as he laid out his plan. And, while the idea of being married to anyone that you didn't love sickened you, you tried to tell yourself that it wouldn't be as terrible as you felt it would be.

***

You and Thomas sat out in the sun, where you were making a flower crown and he was rambling about one thing or the other. You'd gotten very good at pretending to be in love, even in the span of only a couple of weeks.

You gave him smiles and laughter, and he gave you gifts or stole a caress. It was enough to stir the people of Union so no one would be the wiser. And, with your father at his station a short way across the field, the pair of you could be somewhat alone. But, still within viewing distance.

"You're not listening." Thomas said, and you smiled to yourself for a moment. You looked at the finished crown, before you looked up and reached over to where he was laying on the blanket. He was half-sitting up, and you placed the flower crown atop his head as you said,

"Yes, I was." You replied simply as you adjusted it, and Thomas stared at you and gave a small scoff. He caught your hand as you went to pull it away, his grip loose. He held it almost gently, and said,

"Then kiss me." And your brows drew together. A quick,

"What?" Fell from your lips, and you watched how Thomas smiled. He laughed, letting your hand go as he said,

"So, you weren't listening-" But you were quick to interrupt him.

"Why would- Why?" The idea- the simple idea was preposterous. Why would you kiss him? In broad daylight no less? The suggestion made you nervous, made a weird feeling start in your stomach. And, you ignored how this feeling wasn't entirely unfamiliar.

"They're going to expect us to kiss on our wedding day, girl. Shouldn't we have some practice?" He said, and you thought perhaps the first time he proposed it had been kinder. You stared at him, thinking over his words. Thomas waited, reaching out to touch your skirt. It was only to pick at it for a moment, before he drew his hand away.

You couldn't tell if that was the only reason Thomas wanted to kiss you, if there wasn't some ulterior motive somewhere. You wouldn't put it past him. But, really, he was right. Not to mention, while the pair of you had been affectionate, had you been affectionate enough?

That's what was so aggravating about Thomas. He was always right. He saw clear through whatever facade anyone put up, and saw the truth. Perhaps, that's why he was such a good liar.

Perhaps, that's why he was staring at you.

"Fine." You said, before you looked over your shoulder. You were in the field, but you were more or less a public spectacle. You could hear Thomas draw closer, feel the warmth of his hand reach for your arm.

"Let them look." He said as he gave a tug on your arm, and you turned back to face him. It was strange to hear him say that, such a stark difference from what you were used to. To have him so close was different than before, but Thomas didn't close the gap. You supposed he was waiting for you to do that. He whispered, "Well?" And, finally, you did. It was a short kiss, a quick stolen one. Still, it made Thomas smile. "So chaste." He let out a small laugh, and it was your turn to scoff. "Are you sure-" And you could guess what he was going to say. You kissed him again, if only to silence him. It was deeper, firmer than your last had been. And you hated to admit that you didn't hate it. Thomas was well-practiced, and the feeling of his thumb grazing your cheek was nearly as warm as the feeling of the sun on your back. It made another feeling start, one that you tried to stamp out that very second. You pulled away again, cutting it short. Thomas, for just a moment, tried to follow you before he pulled back. He had a small smile on his face, one he didn't try to hide as he pushed his hair back.

"You're practiced." You said quietly, the closest thing to a compliment you could give him. You'd heard rumors of him galavanting with the likes of Abbi Berman and some of the others. Perhaps, there was some truth to them. Thomas glanced over, and returned the words,

"Aye, so are you." When he smiled and glanced down at your belly, you knew the jab had been intended. And, unfortunately, he'd managed to make you laugh.

***

You knew it was coming. You had prepared yourself for it. Before the wedding, the pastor would counsel both of you. And, he was going to counsel you first.

You stood in a dress your mother had made, with your corset done loosely as not to press on your stomach. You'd been staring out the window, at the cloudless day and the happy faces of your town. Why shouldn't they be happy? It was the day for a celebration.

You'd even caught glimpses of Thomas. Your mother was fussing over him, and Issac had swiped his pouch. He looked- Well, you could tell he'd been scrubbed down. Most of his teeth were still black, but in clean clothes and with a clean face...Perhaps, he didn't look terrible. You tilted your head, and, almost as if he could feel you staring, Thomas' head turned. He caught your eyes, and reflected your posture with a tilt of his own head. It made you smile, something you found was less forced the more time you spent with him. Your head turned from him when you heard someone come in.

"Wonderful day for a wedding." Cyrus said as he closed the door to the chapel, and you tried to manage a smile. "Sit." He said, and gestured to one of the pews. You did, and you both kept your distance. The chapel was dim, only lit by the light outside. The pair of you were silent for a moment, before Cyrus said, "The magistrate is here. He seems eager to start. Do you," He paused for a moment. "Do you have any doubts?" And you felt that the question was not quite as empty as anyone else would think.

You'd been staring at your hands, and you finally lifted your gaze to him. To his deep, dark brown eyes. After a moment, you found your voice.

"None at all. Thomas is- He shall be the father to his child, and he shall be my husband. I shall do my duties, and, I- I love him." It was hard to say, at least when Cyrus sat in front of you. "What is there to doubt?" You asked, your question equally as heavy. While none of you would say it plainly, you knew from the way he looked over your face that he understood you perfectly. The pair of you would never confess your secret, and you'd let the hatchet be buried. Forgotten.

"Does he know?" Cyrus asked, and you knew what it sounded like. In case any of the others were listening. Like he was asking if your soon to be husband knew you loved him. The question couldn't be more disguised. Really, his eyes said, Does he know about us?

"Yes. Or, I think he does." You replied, and you watched how Cyrus reached to touch his clean-shaven face. His face was half hidden by his hand, but you could see his eyes were disturbed. A secret was harder to keep the more people knew, but you said, "And he loves me. He'd do anything to keep this union." You told him, and you hoped he got your meaning. When Cyrus glanced at you, you guessed he did. Silently, your eyes said, If he does, Thomas won't tell. And, after a pause, Cyrus let out a sigh.

"Then, there seems little I have to counsel you on."

***

"Have you thought of a name?" Thomas asked you, and you hummed.

You were picking at your sheet, looking towards the window. It had been months, five if not nearly six. Your baby was due in only a few weeks now, and you still hadn't decided. Your husband, a word to describe him that didn't seem so weird now, laid besides you facing up towards the roof.

Thomas, well, he was not what you thought. He had a good, if not sometimes strange, sense of humor, and did not bruise easily from even the harshest words. He could take care of himself, after years of doing so, and, subsequently, you as well. Your mother and the mid-wife still came by to make sure you were in good health, but Thomas had most of it handled. He was a little lazy when it came to work, especially the work your father tried to give him, but he seemed to find that the work that came with having his own house agreed with him. The pair of you had become- Well, familiar. That was the word you would use. You couldn't say, nearly six months later, that it was still just pretending.

Still, Thomas didn't touch you in any way you wouldn't want him to, and you had to lift your head to throw a glance back to him.

"I have some ideas. Perhaps, if it's a girl," You paused, a sly grin coming to your face, "We could name her Abigail." And you watched him scoff and roll his eyes, even lift his head off of his arm for a moment as he said,

"Absolutely not." And you snickered to yourself as you went back to facing away from him. It was just a jest, a reference to an old dalliance of his, but Thomas, if anything, was fun to tease. The only issue was that Thomas was just as sharp when it came to his wit. "Y'know- Fine. Then, if it's a boy, we shall name him Cyrus." And you let out a noise of protest. You tried to roll over, declaring,

"No!" And now it was Thomas' turn to laugh. He placed a hand on your shoulder, trying to ease you back down. You let him, and even reached to hold his arm. To pull him closer. He followed, and you guided his hand above your bulging stomach as the pair of you adjusted. "Fine- Neither of those names. But, we must think of something." You told him, feeling as he stretched his fingers over where your baby grew. He held you, his warmth against your back. His hand rubbing your stomach lightly.

It made a strange sense of warmth fill you, one you couldn't blame from body-heat. And, it wasn't so terrible that you tried to push it, or him, away.

***

"She cries like no other child in Union." Thomas said as he climbed into your bed. You were supposed to be resting, healing, even weeks, nearly two months, after your child's birth. You felt like you'd been confined to your bed for so long that you were starting to become a part of it. Thomas was only here for the break your father gave him half-way through the day. Still, you smiled to yourself from where you laid on your side, and said,

"Perhaps, it is your smell that disturbs her." You said, your voice thick with sleep but a cheeky grin working onto your face. You shouldn't have prompted him, because he took the opportunity to drape himself heavily over your back.

"Oh, should I sleep outside tonight then?" He asked, and you giggled when you felt his stubble tickling your cheek.

It was already long into the day, and you'd become lazy from bed-rest. It felt far too nice to have his warmth wrapped around you, to where you nearly wanted to fall asleep. You had grown too used to it now, and you could barely imagine a night without it.

"I never said that." You responded, and turned your face back towards the softness of your pillow. You felt Thomas' hand raise, his fingertips brush against your cheek. He was being brave, especially when you felt his lips brush against your neck. It made you bite your lip, a twinge of something not so unfamiliar swirling in your belly. You wondered if he would continue. Hell, you wanted him to. But, it was nothing more than that.

Thomas, to your surprise, had more restraint than you would've assumed. He kissed your cheek, went to stand, and excused himself with,

"Your father will begin to wonder where I am." And you lifted your head to watch him step away, before you settled back down. He was clean, cleaner than he had been when he'd been sleeping in the outhouse. His hair was softer and longer, tied away from his face. And his arms seemed stronger, perhaps from the days of working with your father. He was, if you dared to think so, a kind sight to your eyes now. "Sleep. I'll be back by the time you wake." He told you, and, as he left, you found yourself hoping he was right.

#fear street #fear street 1666 #mad thomas #mad thomas x reader #thomas slater #thomas slater x reader

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hintsofhoney · 3 years

Text

alright, *cracks fingers*. so. I’ve written up a transcript just to lay it all out for myself and get the most important parts. listen, everyone. for all intents and purposes and legal reasons, THIS WAS A DREAM. alright? I dreamt this. and he is literally the nicest human being ever so I don’t want to just like... put our whole convo out there like that, but I think he said some stuff that was important for people to hear so... here we go

my *dreamt* zoom call with thee crowley below the cut

The first five minutes (of my dream) was just a bunch of introduction stuff and talking about my favorite Supernatural seasons which eventually led to him telling me how they filmed the Season 8 finale (which they did over the span of three days, and in between takes the crew members were like dead silent, as to keep the moment going, which Mark thought was really cool. Said it was one of his favorite things they did on Supernatural.) Anyways, he eventually asked me if I had any questions, so, I’ll start there.

MARK: So, do you have any questions you want to ask me about aaaaaannyyyythingggg?

ME: Um, I guess the number one thing I wanna know… um, so, I know you can’t speak for Dean and I don’t want to talk about Dean because you’re not Jensen, but, there’s like a lot of questions I guess or subtext or whatever concerning Dean’s sexuality and what not, but I want to know about demon Dean and Crowley’s relationship and if there was, I don’t know, anything like, any implied –

MARK: Well I think – I think you’re talking about… there’s a massive difference between sex and love. There’s a massive difference between, um, well, they can intertwine perfectly, that’s not the issue, but I mean you would believe with all the things that Crowley did for the Winchesters, that he was – that he very much loved Sam and Dean or loved who they are or what they are. To reduce it to, you know, a crush, or to something that – I mean, I don’t know, I think Crowley is very probably pansexual more than anything else; I don’t think anything phased him. I think, that’s why the whole stuff with Lucifer and licking the floor was kind of really stupidly boring for me because Crowley did weirder and crazier things on his own. I mean, it became this joke of trying to humiliate somebody who can’t be humiliated. There’s nothing you can humiliate Crowley with. So, that never sort of made sense, that was just a sort of writer’s glitch of thinking, “oooh, this would be funny to knock him down into subservience” and that’s what he does on a Wednesday, I mean it’s like the most un-inspiring thing. I think so much is projected onto the relationship between, certainly the four main characters, um, and, you know, look, getting comfortable with one’s sexuality and one’s identity is a massively complicated things, and if you want to live vicariously through what you believe people’s identity is and you can relate to that, great! Who cares? I mean, can I be absolutely honest? Apart from – what I do care about, you know, don’t ever take this and piece me or misquote it, because it’s very, very specific – um, somebody stopping somebody being able to express their own identity or whatever is an issue for me. That will always be an issue for me. Um, we should all be treated equally, and we all have the rights to believe and follow those things that we wish to follow, but to project relationships onto characters is an odd thing to do. I mean, it’s wishful thinking in a lot of ways, I mean, actually it’s quite… it’s quite reasonable because in the past if you think about it, if you ask your parents or anyone else, the only way sexuality was used was to, uh, literally demonize somebody. It was only ever used to say somebody was bad because this who they’re in love with. You know, that’s, that’s the thing. And it’s a massive change in the world that we’re moving towards, I should say, uh – a lack of consequence for who one loves, apart from the obvious consequences of human nature. You know, political consequences for who one loves – I’ve just watched Pete Butteigieg being, you know, sitting in congress with his husband there with him; that’s the first time that’s ever happened in United States congress and I’m so proud of that. Not just because the man is gay and happily married – that’s not even the issue for me, it’s because he’s the best man for the job and one of the smartest people on the planet. You know, it’s like using sexual templates, as they were, or gender templates as they are, or orientation templates as they are, we always use to disclude people from things. They were always used to discriminate. You know, labeling somebody was a way of discrimination. And where as labels are very important, to ones self, and they’re very important politically and they’re very important socio-economically and they’re very important in all those aspects, I yearn for a time when nobody gives a damn. I really do. But I mean, we have to go through so much to get there. I mean, let’s be honest, you can’t, you know, right the wrongs of hundreds of years of oppression in 20 minutes by saying, “let’s all move forward”. It just doesn’t work that way, it never has. But there’s a responsibility there, that if you’re going to represent, that you represent all. That you don’t just represent you. So, one has to be careful with a television program or, or, you know, Misha or myself, or, not speaking for the boys, but just generally, um, you have to be careful that what you advocate is inclusive, not disinclusive. Not excluding people... and it’s so hard to frame these conversations, that they’re equitable, it’s so hard to do that. And so, you know, we spend years pointing out the inequity and the injustice and the unfairness of the whole situation, and… I don’t know if the trick is to rise above, or, uh, maybe it’s as simple as love and coming together as a human race and make it very difficult for people to discriminate and exclude based on gender, race, color, religion, any of the subsets of humanity that we’ve decided we have. So, I think personal responsibility is the most important thing, but if one is in a position of power on a TV show, you got to remember what you’re representing, that you have a, you know, you have to cover all or cover none. So, you know, but if you stick to a story and you have a story about a person or two people and their journey, that’s shining light on things. If you try to advocate for all, I think it becomes a little more complicated. Does that make sense?

so, i just feel like he said some important things there, but like I also don’t really understand what he’s getting at really, y’know? oh! also, he didn’t watch the finale lmao

also! there’s this:

MARK: Because if you come down on one side or another, you’re admitting the sides, and that has its own political ramifications. If you push the ball up in the air and say, “you decide”, I don’t think that’s copping out. I think that’s, maybe not fulfilling everybody’s expectations, or not fulfilling everybody’s hopes, but at least you’re getting the question asked. You know, at least you’re getting the question asked. At least people are relating to it and going, “well, what if?”. Because it’s all “what if”, I mean, it’s a TV show, so it’s “what if”, you know? It’s not Misha being in love with Jensen, I mean as much as he loves Jensen, I don’t think that’s his thing – I mean you never know – but I’m saying yet again, I don’t exclude anything from anybody (I LITERALLY CAN’T BELIEVE HE SAID THIS LMAO). But to force my opinion or my identity belief upon a situation has a cost. It may be right, it may be absolutely right, and it may be necessary in many, many cases. But, in that circumstance, I think… there are a lot of people in the world that say that Jesus, for example, was anti-homosexual and that he was – and none of that is true, and none of that is provable in the New Testament, and I’m not talking about Leviticus and I’m not talking about early Bible and I’m not talking about the fact that more than 25,000 words have been changed in the King James edition and all of this stuff, but these things that people hold so sacred, the confusion that arises from that is being told that a man loving a man or a woman loving a woman or a man loving a man and a woman or whatever combination being there is either right or wrong because you’re being told by a pastor or the leaders of your church, is a very difficult thing to break down. I think what you have to do is at least put it out there so it’s visible, and so it becomes less and less deniable. And you know, people change over years, that’s the trouble with youth, is shit doesn’t move fast enough. “I need a decision now!”, and unfortunately, when you’re dealing with centuries of prejudice and centuries of un-enlightenment, I think that sometimes the best thing to do is reach as many people as possible and pose the question. And sometimes it’s essential to make a statement, absolutely, no question. It is essential to make a stand, in some circumstances. But to polarize a TV show, can be very disingenuous to those who need to go ask their own questions, who need to go say, “well, where does Jesus say this is wrong?” you know, if that’s your beliefs.

he also said, when we went off on a tangent about doom patrol:

MARK: There are issues that are being addressed here [on Doom Patrol] that are not being addressed on other shows, and yet again, we have the format, and I don’t know that Supernatural ever had the format because it was on the CW.

anywho, in conclusion, fuck the cw.

also, again, for all intents and purposes this was a dream I had :)))))))

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h0nkch0c0late · 3 years

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Mad Thomas

Fear street 1666 Mad Thomas x Reader

Summary: Mad Thomas, Aka the town drunk. Y/n Miller, Aka Hannah Miller's sister and the Pastor's daughter. What happens when she gets stopped by Thomas on her way to the forest for the fruits of the land thing?

Warnings: smut I guess? Well kind of smut??? It's not really smut???

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Y/n!" Her mother called to her from the kitchen, slight evidence of annoyance in her voice, causing Y/n to sigh and walk away from her chores in her room.

"Yes, mother? What is it?" She asked somewhat quietly as she approached her mother.

"Can you see why your sister is taking so long with her chore outside?" Her mother clearly looked upset.

Y/n nodded, walking to the door and opening it, seeing Hannah talking to Sarah Fier.

Y/n smiled at Sarah, having no problem with her she didn't see why not, Sarah smiling back at her as Hannah looked to her sister.

"What is it?" Hannah asked timidly.

"Mother wanted to know what has been taking you so long out here-"

Y/n was interrupted by their mother, "and that she has to come back inside!"

Y/n rolled her eyes, "and that you have to come back inside. Don't worry, I won't tell her that you've been talking to Sarah." She said in almost a whisper, careful to not let their mother hear.

Sarah sighed, "I'll see you tonight, Hannah."

Hannah nodded to her, "of course." She then walked past Y/n into the house, their mother starting to say harsh things to her as Y/n started to close the door behind her.

"Where are you going?" Mrs. Miller's direction turned towards her other daughter.

Y/n turned her head towards her, "going to check on father, is all." She lied.

Mrs. Miller huffed as a response, letting Y/n go.

Y/n smiled at her mother before closing the door behind her, looking towards Sarah.

"The full moon rises before nightfall." She said with a smile.

"A good night to enjoy the fruits of the land. You're going too?" Sarah raised a brow in surprise.

Y/n chuckled, "why of course. I may be the Pastor's responsible daughter, but that doesn't mean I can't have a little fun once in a while right? And Hannah needs it since our mother has been especially hard on her lately." She sighed as she started walking with Sarah.

Sarah nodded in understanding, "it's because of me, isn't it?"

"Most likely. I wouldn't be too worried though. Just as long as you don't do anything bad, I'm sure you both will be fine." Y/n explained, examining the people around her, waving to Abigail as she dragged Constance off with her.

Y/n looked down to see a bag in Sarah's hand, and that they were headed in the direction of Solomone Goode's home. "What have you got in that bag of yours?" She asked.

"One of the piglets that had gotten stuck. I wanted to give it to Solomone as a gift." Sarah responded, and just as she said that, a small oink came from inside of the bag.

Y/n chuckled, "Ah, alright well I'll leave you to it. I might as well actually check on my father while I'm outside."

"I'll leave you to it, then." But just as Sarah was about to leave, the door to the outhouse burst open, a drunken Thomas stumbled out of it.

Both girls groaned in annoyance at the boy as he stumbled towards them.

"I can see A secret about you, girl." Thomas said as he walked straight towards Sarah.

"And a good day to you too, Thomas." Sarah replied calmly, though slightly annoyed by his presence, trying to step forward away from him but he stopped her.

"Don't you want to hear it?" Thomas questioned.

"Thomas, leave her alone she doesn't want to deal with you right now." Y/n said, grabbing his arm.

Sarah nodded, "please just leave me alone."

But Thomas didn't listen, he just shook Y/n's hand off, contuing to bother Sarah. "I can see everything. I can see all the dark secrets in Union."

Sarah scoffs, "you must be busy." She then pushed Thomas away and started to walk, Y/n gasping as Thomas persisted, grabbing onto Sarah again.

"I see darkness in you, girl!" He said as Sarah struggled in his grip.

Y/n grabbed him, forcing him off of Sarah and pushing him. "Be still, Thomas!" Y/n warned as Sarah glared at the man. Thomas just laughed.

"Sarah, it's best if you go now." Y/n sighed, eyeing Thomas to make sure he doesn't go after Sarah again.

Sarah nodded, then turned around and continued her walk to Solomone's home.

"Beware, Sarah Fier!" Thomas laughed again.

Y/n scoffed, "Thomas, would you please stop being so crude to Sarah? She's done nothing wrong."

Though it seemed that Thomas wasn't exactly listening to her words, only looking at her and grabbing her wrist, leaning in closer to her.

"And you, you hold many secrets." He told, holding her wrist tightly but not too tightly, which is strange for him.

Y/n's cheeks started to turn pink, her face feeling warm as she stuttered, "i-i have no idea what you are talking about. You are completely mad, Thomas."

Thomas smirked, letting go of her wrist, "you hide behind a facade, girl. But I know who you really are." His eyes practically pierced through her own.

Y/n's heart was beating erratically at how close he was, and the lowness of his voice...she knew he was just drunk and had no understanding of his words, but she almost felt like he did in fact know.

But it was something even she didn't want to admit. She didn't want to admit that Y/n Miller, the Pastor's daughter, was in love with the town's famous drunk, Mad Thomas. But she couldn't help it. There was just something about him that made her so strangely attracted to him, but she could never put a finger on it.

He laughed once more, walking away (more like stumbling away).

Y/n sighed, taking a moment to calm her flushed cheeks before spotting her father and heading her way towards him.

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Y/n took a deep breath as she took small, quiet steps down the stairs in her house quiet as to not wake up her parents, and saw her sister at the door.

They nodded at each other, linking arms and walking towards the forest.

Lizzie and Sarah appeared, stealing Hannah away to collect the berries as Y/n chuckled to herself, continuing on her way to the party.

As she entered the woods, she heard ruffling noises behind the trees. Of course she thought nothing of it, the thought of one of the party-goers or an animal only crossing her mind.

But as she walked further, she was suddenly pulled behind a tree, she shrieked, a hand quickly covering her mouth as she was pushed up against it.

She recognized it immediately, looking up to see the face of Thomas. Though she had calmed down a bit, she was still a little freaked out about the sudden actions of him. "T-Thomas what are you doing?"

Thomas had a smirk on his face as he looked at her, "you're mother and father wouldn't like if they found out you were out here at night. I expected this from your sister, but from you? I would have never guessed."

"What I do is none of your business, Thomas. And my parents do not control me." Y/n stood her ground, but Thomas was so close she could feel his warm breath on her face. She was trying her best not to show her blush.

Thomas chuckled darkly, "now now, there's no need to lie. I know you care about what your parents think."

Y/n's eyes narrowed, "you know nothing." Her heart was thumping so loud in her ears she swore everyone could hear it.

But Thomas ignored her, "I also know that you feel something for me. I see it in your eyes every time you look in my direction."

Y/n scoffed, "you really do live up to your name, Mad Thomas. I feel no such things for you. Your drunken mind must be playing tricks on you." Her breaths were becoming sharp as Thomas leaned in closer to her.

Thomas chuckled once again, "there is no need to lie, love. I've got secrets of my own." He lifts one of his hands that were pinning her against the tree, gently pushing away some of her hair away from her face, then stroking her cheek lightly.

The action and nickname caused a shiver to go down her spine, her cheeks getting warmer as she kept her gaze on his own, her breath hitching. "A-and what are t-those secrets, Thomas?"

He leaned in more, his lips close to her ear as he whispered, "why should I tell you mine, if you won't admit your own?"

Y/n went silent for just a moment, then sighed. "If I admit mine, would you tell me yours?" She said in almost a whisper.

He leaned his head back to her face, "I will do better. I'll show you." He moved his body closer to her this time, holding her gaze.

It made her weak at the knees, her trying her best not to fall. "Alright, you want to know?"

Thomas nodded.

"I-Im in love with you. I know I shouldn't be, but i can't get those thoughts out of my head. There's just something about you that irks me so much but at the same time makes my head spin."

His eyes widened in surprise, he was only just teasing her after all. He didn't know she actually felt that way about him. He quickly went back to normal, plastering his famous smirk back onto his face, "and what kind of thoughts are those?"

Y/n gulped, "that is something you do not need to know. Now, it is your turn. What is the secret you so desperately want to show me?"

Thomas kept his eyes on her as he slid his hands down to the strings that held the front opening of her dress closed, "my secret is this."

She gasped as he began to pull at them, loosening the top of her dress and having it come undone.

Her hand instinctively reached out to grab his wrist, stopping him. "What are you doing, Thomas?! We aren't even wed!" She whispered.

Thomas shushed her, putting his hand back onto her now-bare chest. "Don't worry, dear."

A shiver went down her spine again, "for a man who listens to God and tells one of my greatest friends practically the devil, you sure do a lot of sinning yourself." She smirked, suddenly gathering courage.

Thomas' eyes narrowed a little, "that is different." He growled.

"Oh? How so?" She began to tease him, though one of his hands were still on her chest, she thought nothing of it.

Thomas' mouth opened and closed, trying to find words but coming up with none. He then pushed himself away from her, turning around to leave.

Before he could, Y/n grabbed his wrist, making him turn towards him. "Now hold on a minute, Thomas. Who said I wanted you to stop? You cannot leave me here like this without having done anything to me." She snarked.

"Why should I? You did try and use my own words against me." He said as he walked closer to her once again.

"Surely you can take a joke?" She questioned with a smile.

Thomas rolled his eyes, then suddenly pushed her against the tree for the second time, leaning in close to her, their lips noses only a few inches apart.

Y/n didn't wipe the smile off her face as she guided one of his hands back to her chest, the sleeves of her dress slowly falling down causing it to slide off of her shoulders slightly.

Thomas smirked at her, his mood quickly changing before he kissed her deeply, hands gliding into places they normally shouldn't be, his lips traveling down to her neck as she leaned her head back on the tree in pure ecstacy, never having had this experience before, it was a new...amazing feeling.

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Y/n entered the part of the forest where the rest of the teens were, looking around to see Sarah and Hannah missing, while the others were all dancing and hanging around, some even making out with each other.

She felt a tap on her shoulder and looked to see Lizzie, who looked at her with a disapproving yet concerned look.

"You're late. What took you so long?" Lizzie asked.

Y/n's mind thought back to the previous events, a small smile appearing on her face, "I, uh, got... distracted."

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Aaaaaaa I told you guys I would impulsively write a Mad Thomas fic and here it is! Pls there's just something about Thomas, man. Something about him that I just can't describe it 😩😩😩😩 anyways this turned out longer than I expected it to but its fine qkrhwbebejen3nej

#fear street #imagine #x reader #fear street 1666 #mad thomas #mad thomas x reader

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rayderock · 2 years

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Poppy Weekend day 2. Prompt: Present. Marriage.

The day was finally here, Poppy was marrying the love of her life, Bea Hughes. It wasn’t easy, hell even Zoey was skeptical and if Bea wasn’t just playing along but in the end she saw Bea really loved her and accepted it, while she never forgave Poppy for what she did to her, she’s willing to put it aside for Bea’s sake and her happiness. Poppy wore her signature light pink gown while Bea went a different route and wore a black suit with maroon highlights over a white blouse. She was perfect and Poppy didn’t know what she did to deserve her. They didn’t have a public wedding, just a private one in privately owned estate. Bea and Poppy had been practicing on how to officiate a wedding, sure they needed a pastor but the two of them have never been straightforward with anything, plus they could just deal with it afterwards.

B: The bride may now say her vows.

P: Bea, I know I’m not perfect you do everyone does, I don’t think that’s a surprise at this point. We’re both polar opposites to each other but I think that’s by design, when we first met at the quad you challenged me, the first ever fresh meat to ever do that an live, no matter how much I threw at you, you kept fighting and you pushed me to become better and better, I guess at some point after the party something changed, there was a tiny voice in my head telling me to try and love you, not just as a trophy but as an equal person but I was too scared because it didn’t fit my narrative. Yet you kept trying to break me down and I was too selfish to notice it and just continued to use you as I saw fit. After graduation and you confessing your love to me, I felt.. happy, genuinely happy for the first time in ages. I expected to be angry and I was but deep down I was jumping like a schoolgirl and here we are today. I’m willing and trying to become a better person, not for my parents, not for anyone but for me and if you’ll have me, we’ll do it together till death do us part. Bea I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Bea was touched at the raw emotion that Poppy displayed, almost crying at the sight but she needed to stay strong and read her vows.

B: Poppy, when we first met I saw you as my arch-enemy, the former HBIC I needed to take down to become HBIC myself. At first I was only playing along to up my own agenda but the more we started fighting, the more in love I think I felt for you. Yes you’ve done some horrible shit like what you did with Zoey and Kingsley but you tried to become better and that effort alone counts for alot Poppy. You’re not perfect but you don’t have to be, you’re enough, for me and yourself and if anyone can’t see that then screw them. I do regret some of the things I did to you even though you had them coming but one thing I won’t regret was confessing my love to you during graduation and I know you didn’t either. Poppy our life has never been easy and I don’t think it ever is, we will have fights granted not as heated as our Belvoire era but we’ll still have them. You dropped the Min-Sinclair name and fortune just to be happy and I’m proud of you. Poppy I want to spend my life with you if you’ll have me.

Bea pulled her ring on and slipped it on Poppy’s finger while Poppy did the same for Bea.

Bea kissed Poppy’s ring and continued on.

B: Do you Poppy Hughes take this woman to be your wife, to live together in holy matrimony, to love her, to honor her, to comfort her, and to keep her in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?

P: I do.

P: Do you Bea Hughes take this woman to be your wife, to live together in holy matrimony, to love her, to honor her, to comfort her, and to keep her in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?

B: I do.

P: Then by the power invested in me I pronounce you woman and wife *smirks* you may now kiss the bride.

B: Gladly.

Bea closed in and kissed Poppy under the arch but it was just a chaste kiss, lacking the heat Poppy was expecting but she knew Bea was holding back because the honeymoon is next.

B: “You’ll get more of that when our honeymoon starts Ms. Hughes”

P: I look forward to it pet. Now smile for the camera.

@jmojellybae @baexpoppy @minsinclair @somewillwin @samanthadalton @poppysmc @stanzoeywade

#poppy x mc #poppy min-sinclair #poppy min sinclair #poppy queen b #poppyweekend #queen b #queen b choices #queen b playchoices #choices #choices queen b

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